#like i wanna write but the moment i open docs i can only get like one paragraph down

[toxicityriot]

I ain't never written ✨spice✨ before this shit is wack as fuck trying to set up lol.

Hope you release Chapter 7 within a week... Or two... Motivation and distractions have been kicking my ass lmfao. Worst timing ever lol.

[dailybakudekusong]

Today's Daily BakuDeku Song Is: Christmas In June - AJR

Oh my God How lucky am I to have two things I love? Makes it that much easier to fuck it up In case I miss it, can we do Christmas in June?

[gretavanmoon]

an omnipresent force•

hey friends, so in recent days I've realized that Tumblr is nothing but an open place to dump our wild, running thoughts, right? a place to express our art and let creativity flow in its rawest form, whether or not the work is unfinished or tied up with a big red bow. my docs is littered with unfinished ideas and half-written junk, and they're just sitting there. why? they're collecting dust, and I don't like dust.

ive consulted with my nearest and dearests on if this thought process is wack or not, and they don't think it's TOO wack, I hope. but anyways, here's a little preview of something I started a long time ago. It's got a couple chapters complete, a couple outlined, but it has no end in sight. and I don't really care. I wanna share it, because I love it, and completing multi-book works is a feat I'm familiar with from writing the Vigilance & Valor worlds, and without @gretavangroupie encouraging me to write like the wind, those things would STILL be sitting in our docs COLLECTING DUST (with absolutely no fault to her stamina, but by fault of mine lol)

so I'm gonna post this, it's messy and unfinished and kind of unedited, because who cares? we read for indulgence and escapism, and we write for the same reasons.

maybe I'll finish this one day, maybe I won't. nevertheless, enjoy it my loves ;)

also ily so much @builtbybrokenbells & @farfromthehomelands for the encouragements

Warnings: Mentions of Death & Dying, Pain, Loss, Crying

•

“Do you remember it, Y/N? Do you? Are all of your memories still alive? Do not ever let your mind be one to settle, my love. You know that. That is essential.”

His voice is strangled and pained as he tries to speak quietly in the shadows that have fallen across the large room, pushing his words out with haste as his eyes scan behind me. Waiting, anticipating someone to come unnoticed into the room with us. I take sight of his rigid and shaking body laid out across the cot, the white sheet wrapped around his freezing self.

"What did they give you, Paps? What did they drop into your eyes?" I beg. His pupils are dilated and the whites of them are now a deep red, swollen and blotchy as he struggles to focus in on me.

"My memories, my love... they've tried to take them. But the rash, it's taking me faster..." he moans.

His calloused hands desperately grab at mine, the beds of his fingernails torn and caked with dirt. “Promise me you’ll never forget… the things we thought we’d have forever are long gone, now, and we’re never getting them back. Keep your memories, Y/N, think about everything that you can, often. Speak them, share them- but only when you know you’re surrounded by those you can trust. Otherwise, keep them within yourself, and use them to keep going. Keep pushing through to the next sunrise…” His wrinkled and bruised palm then rests gently across my chest as it heaves with sorrow and exhaustion. I can’t stop this… There’s nothing more I can do for him…

“I won’t, I won’t ever forget…” My promise feels futile in the moment as I croak the words out, but I know that I will take charge of myself and bring it to fruition when the time is right. When I don’t feel as though I’m going to drown in my own tears as they feel like puddles around me. When my chest isn’t weighed down with the guilt of leaving him behind without a proper burial. When my body isn’t begging me to run as fast as I can. 

I squeeze his hand. 

“We’ve never seen times this dark, my love, and I fear that you will be the one to see them even darker. But don’t fret, darkness is only the absence of light. And where there is light, there is love. Never let yourself forget.” A quick and tight smile ghosts my lips as I remember his favorite song. “The photos, the books, the songs… sing them all the time. Keep the melodies alive, and don’t ever let yourself forget the words.”

His fingers drift down the line of ink that paints my forearm, each tattoo a memory of times that we will never get back, sounds that we will never hear again unless we sing them out loud, hoping that our memories serve us right. His sullen eyes snap to me again as we both hear a crash in the room behind us. I rip my sleeve back down to cover my arm. Nothing to show my identity.

My body urges itself to prepare to run, and though he knows that I must, he pulls me back down to speak to me again, his voice still hushed and dry as his body wracks with pain.

“Remember when you were a child, no bigger than a grasshopper, and I’d sit you on my knee, teaching you how to put the needle on the record so you’d always have the ability? And how we’d sing the songs together, and I’d play the melodies on the piano… you’d dance, oh my love, you’d dance!”

“I remember, of course I do!” I cry through a weakened smile, the memory of standing on his feet as he twirled me across the firelit living room now feeling like it was a thousand years ago. 

“Never cease your movements, my sweet.” His eyes scan behind us again, his weak hands squeezing mine in return. “Move until your muscles are sore, move until your feet are tough and hardened. Keep your body in good health, because in turn your mind will act along with it. Remember the trees, remember the clouds. The grass, the streams, the way the air smells before a rain, keep it all…memorize it. Categorize, record, and repeat. Your grandmother’s recipes, they’re still in the book. Her plant descriptions, her foraging tools, her gardening plans… study them, Y/N. Memorize. I’ve taught you well, we all have, you must seek and find what’s on the other side of this, my love. You’re prepared, it’s up to you. Find your clan, sweetheart. This isn’t the end. Many have forgotten what the emotion feels like, by now. But you know what love is. Track it down, and hold onto it with everything you’ve got left. Do you hear me? Love, honey. There are more of us. The good ones, they're still left. Find them. Find them!”

I nod harshly as the noise behind us crashes again, likely pulling down my makeshift barrier of tables and chairs. His breathing is weakened, and his chest rattles with a sound no man should ever make.

“They can take our things, but they can’t take our memories. Ever.” He taps the side of his temple with one finger. He knows just as well as I do that they can take our memories, and they have. They've already begun to take his. But his immunity to their drugs and schemes still proves itself strong, just like mine does.

“Share them, please… pass them along, and remember the memories that others share with you, too. You’ve always had the biggest heart of all of us, don’t try and argue with me. You’ve got more wit in your little finger than we all had from our heads to our toes. And any of us would have willingly admitted that, my sweet. Go- get out of here, while you still can. Remember my words, my love. Our history can’t be unwritten if you keep it here, in your heart.” His frail, bruised fingers tap my chest again as if to remind me where my heart sits, still beating with strength as his struggles to pump his blood supply. “Run, love, go! And don’t even think about turning back for me. I’ll have taken my last breath before you even cross the threshold. 

I love you, you love me.”

As I bring his hands up to my trembling lips, I feel the coldness of them like I’ve never felt before, as if they had been sitting in a bowl of ice water. The sound behind me crashes again, this time louder, and I know they are getting closer to us, now. I kiss his digits and smooth his silver hair back, whispering out a choked ‘I love you back’ before I turn and let my feet carry me toward the light peeking from under the towering double metal doors.

I hear his voice in the distance, crackled but still just as powerful as the man that made it.

“Remember, your memories are your own. Go and find the good ones, Y/N! Find them!"

•

Taglist:

@gretavangroupie @britney-gvf @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj@dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @slut4lando @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @danieljlmwagner @klarxtr @fortunatelytinybasement @demonrat444 @gretavansara @watchingover-hypegirl @hippievanfleet @digitalnomadz @raviolilegs @lipstickitty @hippievanfleet @klarxtr @strange-whorizons @do-it-jakey-baby @myownparadise96 @gvf-luna @starshine-wagner @cassiesgreta @joopsandjangs @whimsiliz @kiszkas-canvas @whimsiliz @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick @kiszka-canvas @whimsiliz @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick @jenniferkiszka

[notiddygxthgf]

6. troublemaker

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ Did you miss me? ❞ ❝ Only a little. ❞

★ c.w.: smoking, smut, lots of filthy dirty talk omg. (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: i hated writing this chapter only bc its like omg. i just want everyone to be HAPPYYYYY!! ugh. I tried to make it slow burny but as you can see that did not work out. I missed aki too much to bear it. Anyway! I'm finishing up the last few chapters in google docs (dw there are many chapters you will see before i post them, i like to be prepared is all) and im thinking of how to end the story. Leave suggestions! Keep them comments coming, I love reading through them! I be, like, kicking my feet n shit. 

★ w.c: .5.5k

shameless ; chapter index

THE MORNING LIGHT FILTERED SOFTLY through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the room. You stirred, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek. His arm was still draped over you, holding you close. As you opened your eyes, you found yourself face to face with him. He was already awake, his gaze warm and soft, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"Morning," he murmured, his voice husky.

Yesterday was real. He was real.

"Morning," You replied, a blush creeping up your cheeks. The two of you were still pressed bare chest to bare chest, a gesture so sickeningly intimate that you couldn't help but blush.

He brushed a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. "How did you sleep?" he asked.

You smiled, feeling a little shy. "Better than I have in a long time," you admitted. "You?"

He chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling. "Like a baby," he said, his hand gently caressing your back. "You're a wild sleeper, though. Almost pushed me off the bed."

You laughed, feeling a lightness in your chest that you hadn't felt in ages. "And you're a wild lover. My back feels like shit," you teased, snuggling closer to him.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Sorry," he said quietly, his breath warm against your skin. "Wanna do it again sometime?"

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and for a moment, you were lost in the tender bliss of it all. 

"When's sometime?" You dared to ask.

He grinned – giddy and breathless and pretty, "Right now works for me. You?"

You laughed, "Don't be greedy."

Still, you thought about it. You thought about rolling over and kissing his pretty face again, being close to him – feeling his hands on your hips while he slowly, lazily thrusted up into you.

But then, reality came crashing down on you. You had a train to catch and responsibilities to face. As much as you wanted to stay in this cocoon of warmth and affection with him forever – stay buried in his strong, sweet smelling arms – you knew you couldn't.

You glanced over at the clock on the bedside table and your eyes widened in alarm. "My train!" You exclaimed, quickly pulling away from him. You reached for your phone, checking the time. 

Hurriedly, you got out of bed. You began gathering your things, slipping into your Public Safety suit and tie uniform. As you zipped up your suitcase, you caught his eye in the mirror. He was watching you with the most tender smile, and it made your heart ache.

"I'm going to have to call a cab," You said, smoothing out your uniform in the mirror. "I was going to walk, but... at this rate..." You trailed off, biting your lip.

He sat up, running a hand through his hair. "Don't worry about it," he said, getting out of bed. He came up behind you, his presence comforting. "I'll drive you."

You turned to face him, a look of surprise on your face. "You sure?" you asked, your voice soft. "I don't want to put you out of your way. I know you have work today."

You really, really, could get used to a sight like this – a handsome captain standing in nothing more than a pair of boxers behind you, admiring your uniform in the mirror like you were a fucking painting.

He smiled, a gentle, reassuring smile. "I can run a few minutes late," he said. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. "I want to make sure you get there safely."

It felt so good to be desired by him.

You felt a lump form in your throat. The way he held you, the concern in his voice—it was more than you had expected, more than you felt you deserved. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, meeting his eyes. 

"I'll be fine, Aki," You said softly. You were a devil hunter, after all. You could defend yourself against anything.

"It's not up for debate," he said gently but firmly. "I'm taking you to the train station. Are you all packed?"

At this rate, I'm gonna fall for him.

"Yeah," You smiled breathlessly.

He landed a smack on your ass, "Then bring it here, and let's hit the road. If I look at you any longer, I'll give you a reason to miss the train."

"Fine," You laughed. "I'm carrying my own suitcase, though."

It was something you were used to doing. Something completely mindless – your husband never helped you with your bags, or anything like that. 

"And have you lift a finger?" He retorted, "Over my dead body."

"Watch me," You grinned back.

You never did wind up carrying your suitcase to the car. Or opening the door, for that matter. Aki, a man true to his word, did not let you lift a finger.

.

The train station was the same way it had been when you'd arrived only a week or so earlier. The only different thing about it, in fact, was the fact that you were with the same man you had bumped into upon your arrival – and now he was carrying your luggage for you.

As you reached up to grab your suitcase, you collided with someone. Startled, you looked up to find yourself face-to-face with a man who immediately captured your attention. He was tall, easily over six feet, with broad shoulders and a powerful build that spoke of both strength and discipline. His dark hair was tied back in a neat topknot, accentuating his sharp, angular features. But it was his eyes that held you—their piercing blue depths seemed to look straight through you, filled with a seriousness that made you catch your breath.

"Sorry—" he began, his voice a deep, resonant baritone that vibrated through the narrow space.

The butterfly effect was a strange thing, truly. 

The two of you stopped in front of the tracks. He checked his wrist watch, parking your luggage right beside him. As if on cue, a train pulled into the station, screeching to an unceremonious stop. You had half of a mind to be upset about its arrival, as if you had been robbed of your precious time with him (even if it was only a few minutes, and even if the two of you had spent the entire car ride talking shit about coworkers).

"Just in time," He remarked.

You didn't know how to feel. Should you have been happy that you were finally able to leave your transgressions behind and return to your husband? If such was the case, then why did you feel as if you were leaving such a large part of you behind?

As if your heart was buried in Tokyo along with the memories of your past?

"Yup," You replied in a remarkably stupid fashion. As the doors of the train opened and passengers began pouring out, your heart dropped.

He observed you fondly, the faintest hint of affection in his stoic resting face – as if he was expecting you to make the first move.

So, not knowing what else to do, you bowed your head ever-so-slightly. 

"Thank you for everything," You said. Then, struggling to find the words to say what you meant (I miss you already...? Will I ever see you again...? I wish I didn't have to leave...?), you added, "Okay. I guess this is it. Goodbye, Aki."

You turned to walk away, feeling the weight of the moment pressing on your chest. Every step felt like a betrayal. 

Suddenly, you felt a firm but gentle grip on your arm. Before you could process what was happening, Aki pulled you back with a surprising urgency. 

In an instant, his lips met yours in a kiss so passionate that it took your breath away. You stumbled backward, the sheer force of the moment making your knees weak, but his arm around your back secured you, holding you close to him – like he was afraid he would lose you if he let you go.

Time seemed to stop. The world around you blurred, and all you could focus on was the warmth of his lips and the pounding of your heart. His other hand moved to cup the side of your face, fingers gentle yet firm, as if he was trying to memorize every detail of this moment. Your hands instinctively found their way to his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips.

When he finally pulled away, you were both breathless. He looked at you, eyes filled with a mix of emotions you couldn't quite decipher. His cheeks were tinged with a slight blush, an endearing contrast to his usual stoic demeanor.

"Goodbye," he said softly, his voice slightly husky from the kiss. The faint blush on his cheeks deepened, giving him an almost boyish charm. 

You could feel your face heating up, the blush spreading like wildfire. "Bye," you managed to say, your voice coming out more giddy than you intended. The giddiness in your tone mirrored the tumultuous emotions swirling inside you.

With one last lingering look, you turned and walked toward the train, toting your suitcase with you. As you reached the door and stepped inside, you couldn't resist glancing back. He was still standing there, watching you with a mixture of longing and resignation.

The doors closed with a final, echoing thud, and the train lurched forward. You found a seat by the window, your heart still racing. As the train pulled away, you watched Aki's figure grow smaller and smaller, until he was just a distant memory in the Tokyo landscape.

Like the night you had taken a cab to get away from him.

You sighed, resting your head against the window. The kiss lingered on your lips, a bittersweet reminder of what you were leaving behind. The train rumbled on, carrying you back to the life you knew – a life that, for some odd reason, seemed much emptier.

A faint buzz of your phone, and you were checking instantly. A part of you hoped it was him, begging you to get off the train, to stay with him, husband be damned.

AKI

|   I hope I get to see you again soon.

|   Get home safe.

Soon. Somehow, despite the heavy feeling in your chest that you were leaving something behind, you found it in yourself to smile. . . .

Deciding to take the more scenic route home, you opted out of boarding the bullet train. You rode local instead. You didn't even mind that you had to transfer three times, or that the commute took eight hours. It gave you some time to finish up the book you had packed, and even more time to catch up on the sleep you had lost the night before.

More importantly, above all else, you wouldn't have to see your husband so soon.

By the time you finally stumbled into the house – haphazardly tugging your suitcase along with you, it was bedtime. You found yourself hoping that your husband had gone to bed early, so that he wouldn't come all up on you expecting some sort of "I missed you" sex.

You kicked your shoes off in the foyer, and pulled your suitcase down the corridor until the voice of your husband called your name.

"You home?"

Fuck.

"Yeah!" you huffed, reluctantly following his voice towards your bedroom. You had hoped to slip in unnoticed, crawl into bed, and avoid any conversation altogether.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes fixed on you as you entered. He looked familiar – brown hair and tired eyes searching your face – but his presence didn't bring you the peace it once did. You could see the tension in his jaw, the furrow in his brow. He was waiting for something, perhaps an explanation, an apology, or a confession.

"How was your week?" he asked, his voice neutral but his eyes piercing.

"It was fun!" you said, trying to sound casual. "Met up with some old friends, got to meet some new ones..."

Images of Aki and you together flashed through your mind, and you felt a pang of guilt.

"I stayed up to talk to you, you know," he said, his tone harder now.

Your heart dropped. "About what?"

"These new friends of yours," he said. "Wouldn't happen to be one of your coworkers, would it?"

Shit. Fuck. Shit, fuck. 

Did he know? Knowing him, he could have been drunk and jealous, and just talking out of his ass. Still, a part of you couldn't help but wonder.

You froze. "What are you getting at?"

"I'm saying I don't know what you thought you were doing in Tokyo," he said, his voice rising. "But word travels in Public Safety. There are rumors about you dancing around with a little Captain, or some shit."

He does know.

"That's ridiculous!" you snapped, your defensiveness rising. "The Captain and I are mutual friends with Himeno. She made introductions, and he bought us a round of drinks. They're blowing it out of proportion."

"Are they?" he shouted, standing up. "Then, you should really, really start clearing your name. You could very well have fucked him already."

"It's not like that!" you retorted, tears stinging your eyes. It was like that. "It's not my fault that people have nothing better to talk about. I'm in love with you, and only you."

You were lying. You knew you were lying. He knew you were lying.

"Bull shit," he scoffed. "We haven't made love in two weeks."

"I don't want to do this right now," you muttered, turning away. He was insufferable, as per usual. "I'm exhausted."

"You're always exhausted," he shot back. "Always too tired to talk, too tired to fuck. Then you go off on this work trip, and there are rumors about you at some party. What am I supposed to think?"

You felt a mix of guilt and frustration. "You're my husband. You're supposed to trust me," you said quietly. "I didn't cheat on you. Don't be a dick, it was just a dance!"

Truly, the irony of the entire conversation was not lost on you.

"Want to know the truth? I really don't give a shit if you cheat on me or not. I can have another woman in here tomorrow to take your place," Your husband's next words were cold and unforgiving, "You want to keep your white-picket-fence life? Then stop embarrassing me in public."

With tears streaming down your face, you slipped into a nightgown you had hung up on the dresser. The bed felt cold and uninviting as you slid under the covers, your husband's eyes still boring into you. You turned your back to him, staring at the wall, trying to will yourself to sleep. 

The damage was already done, the emotional distance between you and your husband growing wider with each passing moment. The bed felt even colder now, and you closed your eyes, hoping for sleep to come quickly and take you away from the reality you were living.

Lying there, you couldn't help but replay the moments with Aki in your mind. The way he made you feel alive, seen, and wanted. You felt a deep pang of guilt, knowing you had betrayed your husband's trust. Yet, part of you couldn't bring yourself to regret it entirely. 

The fact of the matter was that Aki had filled a void in your life, one that you hadn't even realized was there until he came along.

Aki was ten times the man your husband could ever dream of being.

The hustle and bustle of Tokyo played in your mind, the energy of the people, and the warmth of a certain dark, handsome Captain. You even found yourself missing Himeno, her infectious laughter and the way she always knew how to lighten the mood. But most of all, you missed the secret moments with Hayakawa, the stolen kisses, the way he breathed passion into your name. Your heart ached with the memory of it all.

"I hope I'm wrong," Your husband said, his voice low and steady – a reminder of all that you had lost by settling down with him so young. "But, above all else, I hope I don't have to tell you that cheating is insulting to a man like me and stupid for a woman like you."

A man like him. You could nearly laugh at the prospect of your husband being grouped into any sort of high category. He was a piece of shit. That's what he was, and it was getting progressively harder to ignore that fact.

"Goodnight," you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper. You wouldn't glorify him with a response.

Your husband lay down beside you. 

"Is there something you're not telling me?" he asked suddenly, his voice breaking the silence.

Your heart raced. "No," you said, your voice barely steady. "There's nothing."

You swallowed hard, the weight of your guilt pressing down on you. 

He's too late, you thought to yourself.  .

8:38 PM [New Message]

[Play]

[Automated: Playing Voicemail from 'Makima']

"Hello. I'm sorry for calling so late. I hope I didn't disturb you. I wanted to speak with you at your earliest convenience. I have some concerns about one of my new recruits, and I'm uncertain that he will function well in his group. Would it be possible to request you for backup? You did such great work last time, and I know you won't fail me. A little help would be greatly appreciated, at least until we recover from the tremendous losses we just suffered. Thank you, again, for all that you do. Please call me back and let me know if you're available this week. Again, all expenses will be paid. Goodbye."

[Automated: You have no new messages.] .

The work week dragged on, each day blurring into the next. Every task felt like a mountain to climb, your thoughts repeatedly drifting back to Tokyo and the emotional whirlwind you'd left behind.

A few days later, as you stood in the kitchen, the aroma of cooking filling the room, you decided it was time to share your news. Your husband walked in, his mood noticeably sour.

"I've got news," you said, trying to sound casual as you stirred the pot on the stove. "I'm being reassigned to Tokyo again."

His eyes narrowed immediately. "Tokyo? Again? What is this, some kind of joke?"

"It's not a joke," you said, turning to face him. "It's a new assignment from Makima."

"Makima's orders?" he echoed, his voice rising in frustration. "So you're just going to pack up and leave again? How many times do I have to watch you walk out that door?"

"It's not like that," you said, struggling to keep your voice steady. "This is a work assignment. It's out of my control."

"Out of your control?" he snapped. "Its your job. You can say no."

"I didn't want to," You said. "I would be getting paid almost double. What did you want me to do?"

"Quit, like I've been telling you to do for the past few years," He replied. "When are you going to let me take care of you? I could make you a stay at home wife. You don't need this job."

You. A housewife. You, being trapped inside of the house all day – all of your ambitions and dreams and achievements being reduced to your status as a homemaker. That wasn't your life. It wasn't what you wanted for yourself.

Why wouldn't he take the hint?

"I'm not gonna quit. I want to work," you said, feeling a pang of defensiveness. "I need to go to Tokyo for said work. To get paid more. It's not about escaping you."

"You don't even see how you're doing exactly that. Run off, then. Go back to Tokyo."

"It's not like that," you said, trying to explain. "Life's been overwhelming. I'm not trying to run off, I just–"

"Overwhelming?" he scoffed. "You were full of energy over there. You had time for everyone else but none left for me."

Dick.

"It wasn't like that!" you said, your frustration bubbling over. "I was catching up with friends. It was a chance to get away from all of this. You cant– I won't let you criticize me for having a life outside of this marriage."

"Is that what you call it?" he snapped. "A life outside of our marriage? While I'm stuck here, waiting for my wife to come home, barely even recognizing her when she does?"

"That's not fair," you said, tears welling up. "I care about you. But it's been hard for me, too. I've been dealing with a lot."

"Dealing with a lot?" he repeated, his face reddening. "Do you even realize how distant you've become? We barely have sex anymore. We hardly talk. What kind of marriage is this?"

"I don't know," you admitted, feeling the sting of his words. "I'm tired. Maybe I would want to fuck you if you... I dunno... maybe, helped me out once in a while. You never even lift a finger around here. I'm working just as hard as you, and yet you are the one who gets to come home to a home-cooked meal."

"This wouldn't be an issue if you just quit," he shot back, taking a step closer. "But you're too busy being an independent woman, right? I own this house. It's in my name."

"I pay half of the bills," You added.

"But it's my house," He corrected you. "On paper, it belongs to me. Don't get out of line."

"Do you even hear yourself right now?" you said, your voice breaking. "I wish you would stop– fucking– pointing fingers at me for once and realize that there's a bigger issue here. We're struggling, and I don't– it's not my job to fix us."

"You can't fix shit. This is us," he said, his voice growing colder. "This is marriage. The difference between me and you is that I'm stuck dealing with this mess while you run off and live your life. How am I supposed to just accept that?"

"You don't have to accept it," you said, frustration rising. "But you need to understand that I'm not doing this to hurt you. I need to have a life of my own."

"A life of your own," he echoed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "It seems like you're more interested in escaping the life you have than in fixing what's broken between us."

"Stop it," you said, your anger flaring. You set your spoon down on the stove, turned the burner off, and turned to face the man you were supposed to love. "This conversation is over."

"I don't get it," he said, his eyes darkening. "Are you happier away from me? Are you saying that you're not interested in being here, in working on our relationship?"

"That's not what I'm saying," you said, lip quivering with anger. "But I can't just flip a switch and make everything perfect. I'm trying. You can't wall me up inside this house and expect me to be your bitch forever. I want to– I need to have a life."

"Be grateful for the life I gave you," he spat, his voice harsh and final, dripping with hatred and venom. It could not have been more apparent. Your husband hated you. "I'm the one who provides for you. I'm the reason you have a home and a life. Without me, you'd have nothing."

"Even with you, I have nothing," you laughed humorlessly. "There's nothing here. Nothing between us. I'm starting to believe I shouldn't have married you to begin with. Lord knows we were fine before, but you just had to settle down in the countryside."

You froze. The coldness of your own words cut through the air like ice. Before you could take it back, apologize, even, his hand lashed out, striking you across the face. The shock of the blow left you reeling, your cheek stinging with pain.

He spoke slowly, like he was sounding it out. His eyes wide, he apologized– "Honey, wait, I–"

"Fuck you," you whispered, the tears falling freely now. 

You turned on your heel and fled to your room, your heart pounding.

Inside, you slammed the door and leaned against it, your breath coming in short, ragged bursts. The pain in your cheek was sharp, but you forced yourself to focus on something else. 

You began unpacking your suitcase, using the physical task to distract yourself from the emotional turmoil.

You tugged the zipper open, revealing neat piles of folded clothes. You began to pull them out, laying at the foot of your bed. As you reached the bottom of the suitcase, you uncovered the painting Aki had gifted you, carefully wrapped in bubble wrap. 

You unwrapped it slowly, revealing the vibrant colors and delicate brushstrokes. The painting was a tangible piece of Tokyo, a reminder of a time when you had felt truly alive – the flowers in the field. The strong tree. The blue sky, and the warm, warm sun.

It had no place in your home.

Your room felt cold and impersonal, a stark contrast to the warmth of the painting. You knew it didn't belong here, in this bedroom that felt more like a prison than a home – with gray walls and gray floors. But as you looked at the painting, a deep longing settled in your chest.

You glanced around the room, your eyes landing on a framed photo of you and your husband. It was one that had been taken at your wedding reception. He was grinning ear to ear, holding you close to his side. You were smiling, too, face smeared with cake – hopeful for your future with the man you loved.

Without hesitation, you took it down and replaced it with the painting. As you hung it up, you felt a rush of warmth spread through your chest, a flicker of happiness amid the darkness.

Standing back, you admired the painting. For a brief moment, the pain and anger seemed to melt away, replaced by the comforting memory of Aki. Oddly enough, staring at the painting long enough, you felt as if you could almost feel his presence, smell his warm cologne whipped together with the scent of the nicotine that lingered on his uniform. You felt as if you could practically feel him behind you, hands resting on your waist, soft lips pressing tender kisses to the valley of your neck.

And, only then did you really grasp the gravity of your situation. You were fucked. Completely and totally fucked.

Aki's text from the train sat heavy and unanswered still in your pocket. A week had passed, and you hadn't dared to text him back. 

You didn't need to open it to know what it said. You had stared at it for so long that the image was practically ingrained into your memory.

I hope I get to see you again soon.

Get home safe.

You shouldn't. You knew you shouldn't. But you could feel the weight of your phone in your pocket, the weight of your desire rearing its ugly head during a moment of weakness, and you couldn't help yourself. Before you could stop and think twice about it, you were flipping your phone open and browsing your contact book, pressing 'ok' on a name you most definitely should have deleted by now.

The phone rang once. Twice. A third time. 

Then it clicked.

"Hello?"

"Hey," You exhaled, relieved that your call had gone through. You crossed your legs, plopping down onto the bed.

"Hey, troublemaker."

The wave of heat that washed over you at the sound of his voice was uncanny. He filled you with a fantastic sort of giddiness that you hadn't felt in years – you didn't even care that your husband was about to eat dinner in the next room, just as he didn't seem to care that you had been M.I.A. for the past week.

In his typical fashion, he made you forget about your surroundings. Right then, it was just you and him, and that's all that mattered.

"Did you miss me?" Aki asked.

"Only a little," You replied. You couldn't help but smile. "What are you up to right now? Do you have time to talk?"

"Of course. I always have time for you," He answered warmly. His voice was deep and tender, and it made you melt all over the bed. "I'm laying in bed right now. Just had a smoke. How did you know I was thinking about you?"

There were so many things you wanted to say to him – I miss you, come get me, he hit me. I need you – and yet you couldn't help but bask in the comforting silence.

"Lucky guess," you said, feeling the warmth spread through your chest. "I've been thinking about you too. What's it like there? Anything exciting?"

"It's Tokyo," he said with a lazy lilt to his voice. He sounded tired, as he always did. It was endearing. "Could be better, but honestly, I'd trade it all just to be with you right now."

You felt a shiver of excitement at his words. The warmth of his voice and the lightness of the conversation made you forget, if only for a moment, the coldness of your current reality.

You knew it was bad. Still, you grinned, rolling onto your stomach while you took the call, kicking your feet.

"So, what's the weather like there?" You asked, trying to keep the tone light but unable to mask the undercurrent of flirtation.

You would say anything if it meant you would get to hear his voice a little longer.

"Warm, surprisingly," Aki replied, his voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone."Have you been holding up okay over there? You haven't spoken to me in a week."

"Probably for the better," you said, a laugh escaping you. "Even now, I shouldn't be talking to you. I'm sitting here in this freezing room, and your words are the only thing warming me up."

"Good," he said, his tone suggestive. "Maybe one day soon I can warm you up in person. Until then, just know I'm thinking about you."

You rested your head on the bed, the phone pressed to your ear, feeling as if you were floating in the warmth of his words. Despite the rational part of your mind telling you to be cautious, you found yourself lost in the conversation, savoring every last moment you could.

"Are you still there?" Aki's voice came through, warm and inviting, like a soft blanket in the coolness of your room.

"Yeah," you replied, settling into the bed, propping yourself up with pillows. "I'm still here. Just... don't want to hang up."

"Glad to hear it," he said, his tone teasing. "I'm not ready to let go of you either. What are you thinking about?"

You smiled, feeling a flutter in your chest. "Just thinking about how nice it is to hear your voice. It's been such a rough day, and talking to you made me feel a little better."

"Wanna talk about it?" Aki asked softly. "I've been thinking about you like crazy."

"Really?" you asked. "What do you see when you think of me?"

Aki chuckled, a low, throaty sound that sent shivers down your spine. "I see me and you – in that little black dress of yours – and the way your kisses tasted."

You felt a flush of warmth at his words, the intensity of your feelings bubbling up. "You probably shouldn't," you admitted. "You'll catch feelings."

"You're making it hard to stay focused on anything but you," Aki said, his voice growing more serious. 

You laughed softly. "You're good at this, you know. Making me feel like I'm the only person in the world."

"That's because you are," he said earnestly. "For me, anyway. Wanna talk about your day?"

You shifted in bed, pulling the blankets around you as if trying to draw closer to him through the phone. "I don't really feel like talking about it."

Aki's voice was tender and soothing. "That's fine. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?"

"I don't know," You sighed, the sound a mix of contentment and longing. You felt weak. "I just want to hear your voice. I need you."

"I need you too," he said, his voice softening. "I had a dream about you, you know? It felt like I was back in that hotel room with you again, watching you get ready to go home," A pause, then he added, "I should've made you miss that train."

You closed your eyes, letting the image of a shirtless Aki slipping into his work slacks flood your memory. "You're terrible."

He's one fine piece of ass.

Aki's laugh was deep and gentle, like the tides of the ocean tugging at the shore. "I am. I'm a terrible, rotten man, and it's all your fault. Have you been thinking about me, too?"

You glanced at the painting on the wall, feeling a pang of an emotion you couldn't quite place, "More than I'd like to admit."

"Hold on, I just heard something break in the kitchen. I think my nightmare roommate is up," Aki said. "I have to hang up. Promise you'll text and call more often, though. I've been worried sick."

"I promise," you said, your voice barely above a whisper, your face flushed like you were a lovestruck schoolgirl. "Goodnight, Aki."

"Goodnight, troublemaker," he replied softly. "I'll be dreaming of you."

a/n: oh nooooooo... what do yall think is gonna happen? (i know, but yk....). but actually i hope you loved it, I loved writing sexy phone aki ugh it makes me wanna write more of him. I hope you all dont hate me too much for keeping them apart. (i'll make it up to u soon, trust.) anyway, QOTD: wyd if you were y/n? x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[hwsfemmephenomenon]

Check out our preemptive FAQ here!

Without further ado, here are the answers to your questions from the interest check:

☆ I would like to apply to be an art mod, but my Hetalia fanwork is a bit old and not up to date with my current skill level? Can I submit some non-Hetalia fanwork for my mod portfolio?

If this is the case, submit any work you're proud of, regardless of its relevancy to Hetalia!

☆ What does "spread" and "page" mean?

☆ Where do I sign up?

Contributor applications will be opening July 1, 2024. We’ll make a post with the link to the contributor apps at 3PM EST on July 1, but you’ll also be able to find a link to the apps on our Carrd when the time comes! Right now the button on our Carrd is a placeholder, but if you press it now, you’ll be rewarded with a cool and funky video :]

☆ Will page size/formatting guidelines be given?

Yes! At the moment, there are placeholder measurements in our info-doc. Proper formatting will be finalized before contributor apps open once we’ve onboarded our formatting mods and discussed what sizes are best!

☆ Can my contribution include multiple HetaGirls?

YES!!! Let them interact!

☆ Are ships allowed?

Yes! As of right now, our only restrictions are no Belarus x Ukraine and no NSFW content.

☆ How many contributors will you accept to the zine?

At the moment, we’re a bit unsure! This is both Soph and Arson’s first time hosting a zine so we don’t want to bite off more than we can chew. As of right now, we may accept up to ~30 visual contributors and ~10 writing contributors, but those are estimates. We’ve gotten a ton of support for this zine, but we need to find our footing first! Ultimately, the final number of contributors will depend on what the mod team feels they can handle and how many applications we get!

☆ Why are you putting limits onto how Nyotalia characters can appear in the zine?

This zine originally came to be with the canon women in mind. We want the zine to focus on Ancient Egypt, Belarus, Belgium, Czechia, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Seychelles, Taiwan, Ukraine, Vietnam, and Wy, as much of their canon material treats them as supporting roles to the male characters. We additionally would love to see submissions for Ancient Greece, Kenya, and Zimbabwe!

The Nyotalia characters are understandably very popular because they're a different take on the main cast. While we also love Nyotalia, we worry that very popular characters, like the main 8, will overshadow the characters we created this zine for in the first place. Nyotalia women are allowed in supporting roles because it would understandably be a little difficult for the writers if they were only limited to a specific set of 12-17 characters.

Some examples of work featuring Nyotalia characters would be:

A frying pangle fic where Hungary interacts with Nyo!Austria and/or Nyo!Prussia

A group illustration centering Vietnam’s interactions with Nyotalia ASEAN

An AmeBela illustration where Belarus interacts with Nyo!America

Some exceptions may be allowed on a case by case basis.

TLDR: You can draw Nyotalia women so long as they play a supporting role to one of the canon ladies.

☆ How many OCs will be allowed?

It depends on how many applications we receive! So long as they're a nation & aren't already canon to Hetalia, it's fair game. We want to see ladies from all over the globe!

☆ Why do you want more than one pitch?

We don't want to force people to make work they're disinterested in, but we also don't want there to be a disproportionate amount of material for one girl over another. As of right now, Hungary is in the most demand with 69.2% of responses, but Wy (34.6%) and Monaco (42.3%) have the least amount! We want to encourage more work for the more neglected ladies!

☆ Can I make more than one submission?

As of right now, yes! So long as everyone isn't doing more than one piece and if the contributor thinks they can handle two pieces during the time frame, we wanna see those HetaGirls!

More on this to come when acceptances roll out and we start working on pitches...

Got more questions? Submit them to our inbox!

Thank you all for the love and support you've shown the zine thus far!

[silver138]

Perfectly Flawed - Chapter 9

word count - 2.2k

warnings - cursing

Summary: Lina makes plans with Spencer, vetoes another nickname from Derek, and picks an outfit for Friday night.

"And how was your lunch, my lovely?" Penny says as I walk in. 

I grin and say to her, "Pretty good, how about yours?" 

She smiles at me and says, "Oh, not so bad. You ready to knock a few more of these out?" I sit down and get situated, giving her a nod.

After a few more hours of writing reports, it's finally time to go home for the day. Heaving a sigh, Penny hoists her purse onto her shoulder and tells me, "Hopefully, we can have one more day like today, and then have our night out tomorrow."

Holding a hand up and crossing the first two fingers on my hand, I grin and say, "Here's hoping!" We walk to the elevators, talking and laughing as the doors open and we step in. 

As we step out of the elevator and stand to the side, Penny asks, "So, what are you planning for tonight?"

"Oh, I plan on going through my clothes and having my roommate help me pick out an outfit for tomorrow. It's been a while since I've gone out, gotta look cute!" I say with a grin. 

"Aww, that shouldn't be too difficult for you, Dewdrop!" comes Derek's voice from the elevator, as he and Spencer walk out.

"I...'Dewdrop'?!" I splutter out, snorting and laughing. 

Derek sighs, saying, "OK, not 'Dewdrop'...", then looks over at Spencer, who grins, shakes his head, and claps Derek on the shoulder while saying, "Nope, not 'Dewdrop'," then strolling towards the door.

Still laughing, I start walking over to Spencer, while behind me I hear Penny say to Derek, "Sorry, Hot Chocolate. Guess you're gonna have to keep trying." 

I take a deep breath to stop laughing, turn to Derek and Penny and say, "See you guys tomorrow!", then look over at Spencer and ask, "Ready to go, Doc?"

Flushing slightly while still grinning, he nods, and we start to head to the station. "So, what do you do when you don't have work, Doc?" I ask Spencer as we make our way down the sidewalk.

"O-oh, um, the usual, I suppose. Catch up on housework, read, try to relax..." he says, hands in his pockets. "W-why, what do you do on your days off, Lina?" he asks cautiously. 

"The same, I guess. Honestly, I'm wondering because the only person I've really hung out with for the past 3 years has been my roommate Val, and I'm starting to think she's getting sick of me." I say jokingly with a chuckle.

He just looks at me as if trying to calculate a response, so I say, "You know, maybe we could hang out sometime? Outside of work? For fun?" 

He's silent for a few moments, then asks, "What would we do?"

I take a breath and blow it out, saying, "I dunno, go to the library or a book store, or to a coffee shop, just...hang out, talk, whatever...you know?" 

He looks at me for a few seconds, then back down and quietly says, "Yeah, I'd-I'd like that."

I look over at him and smile, then say, "Really? Awesome. Maybe if we don't get a case, did you wanna, I dunno, get some coffee or something on Saturday?" 

He looks at me with a small half-smile and says, "Y-yeah, sounds good."

As we stroll into the station, I notice we still have a few minutes until the Metro is supposed to come in, so I motion to Spencer for us to sit down on a nearby bench. I let my hair out of its ponytail and massage my head while asking Spencer, "Did you want me to get us coffee again tomorrow for the ride in?"

"Y-you don't have to do that, you know." he starts. 

I shrug and say, "I know. But it made the day go a little smoother, right? The work went by a little faster?" 

He gives me a small smirk, then says, "Alright. But I can get it this time, and I'll pay, OK?" I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off, saying, "You can get Saturday if you really want."

I sigh and remark, "I'm not gonna win this one, huh, Doc?" Spencer laughs lightly and shakes his head. I give a short chuckle and say, "Fine. You drive a hard bargain there, Spence." He gives me a large grin while the Metro pulls up, and we head on and find seats.

I send a quick text to Val, asking for her help in picking out an outfit for tomorrow night, then put my phone away and look over at Spencer. "So, what do you like to do, Doc? Other than read, play chess, and drink coffee?" I say with a small half-smile.

"Oh, well, I enjoy playing cards, especially poker; learning different languages, trying out new magic tricks..." he starts. 

"Oh my God, no way, you can do magic?!" I say excitedly. 

He stops for a moment, then smiles and says, "I-yeah, I can do magic. You like magic?"

Big smile on my face, I say, "Well, yeah! Who wouldn't? Magic tricks are fun! Do you think you could show me what you know sometime?" 

Still smiling, he nods and quietly says, "Yeah."

Grinning, I say, "Also, poker, huh? Is that the Vegas in you?" 

Spencer laughs and replies, "Ah, maybe. I'm...kind of banned from a few casinos back in Nevada, though." 

I raise my eyebrows and say, "Oh, you're that good, hmm?" 

He laughs again and says, "Something like that."

"Maybe next time, I could join in, I have a fair bit of luck in that and blackjack," I say with a sly smile. 

Spencer raises his eyebrows at me and says, "Oh, really? Yeah, next time we play, I'll let you know."

I laugh lightly and nod as I signal for my stop. I turn and say, "I'll see you tomorrow, Spence." 

He raises his hand in a wave and replies, "See you tomorrow, Lina." Still grinning, I step off the Metro and start on my way home.   *************

As I enter my apartment, I call out, "Val? You home?" 

I faintly hear her voice from my room. "I started looking for clothes for you!" Her voice gets louder. "Get in here and try these on!" Grinning, I drop my bag on the floor and hang up my coat, kicking my shoes off.

Walking into my room, I see her rooting around in my closet, muttering to herself, with several different clothes on hangers strewn about my bed. "Ah, you are gonna help me put these back, right?" I ask her.

She pops her head out of the closet and says, "What?! Oh, yeah, yeah, just...try those jeans I pulled out, will ya?" while pointing at a pair of dark blue flares on my bed. 

"Uh, yeah, just lemme freshen up first, 'kay?" I say, walking into the bathroom.

After I'm done, I head back in to step out of my work pants and put the jeans on. "OK, now what?" I ask, walking towards the closet. 

"Here, try this on with it." Val's muffled voice says from within the closet, her hand thrusting a red tank top in my direction.

"Ehhh, I dunno, I know it'll be hot in there, but I don't think a tank top..." I start with a whine. 

"Just...try the damned thing on first!" Val retorts, walking out to see how it looks on me. Putting it on it looks nice, a little bow in the middle, the top part of the bust ruched.

"Kinda short, though..." I grumble, trying to pull it down over my stomach. Val sighs, motioning with her hand to give it to her. I take off the top and hand it to her, and she puts it on a hanger and puts it back in the closet.

While she digs around in my closet some more, I head out to where my bag is and put away the books Spencer read today on my bookcase. "Where the hell did you go?!" Val calls out. 

I meander back in, saying, "What? I was putting something away while you were searching."

She sniffs and hands me a hanger with a white peasant top on it. "Oh, this is cute..." I start, as I put it on over my head. I quickly realized that this one is not only too short in the torso but also has a large slit that goes halfway down the shirt, with ribbons that can be tied in the middle.

"Whoa, uh, no. Little too much cleavage there, Val." I say, quickly taking the shirt back off. 

She hums and agrees. "Yeah, but it'll be great if you ever need to breastfeed..." she snarks with a smirk, putting it back on the hanger and burying it in the back of my closet.

While she hunts for another shirt for me to try on, I feel my phone vibrate. A small, dopey grin spreads on my face when I see it's from Spencer.

Hello, Lina. I figured I'd ask you now, what coffee do you want for the morning?

Still grinning, I type my reply:

Heya, Spence. Just a medium hot mocha, nothing fancy. Thank you, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Hitting 'send' and putting my phone away, I'm met with a black shirt shoved under my nose. I look up, and I see Val with a smug smile on her face. "Found something, I think you'll really like it," she says in a sing-song voice.

Taking the hanger from her, I take a look at the shirt. It's another peasant top, only in black. It has a ruffle collar, but it goes straight across. As I pull it down over me, I can see the bottom of it is well past my stomach. And with an edge that's longer in the back, it falls nicely over my hips.

"Oh, nice..." I say quietly, turning around to look at the back in the mirror. 

"Wait, you've got some tags there, lemme get that for ya..." Val says, quickly grabbing a pair of scissors to cut the tags off. 

"Thanks, Vallie..." I say, still examining myself in the mirror.

"Well? Whaddya think?" she says, leaning back on her arms as she sits on the bed. 

I turn to her and say, "I like it! This is mine?!" She nods and stands up, adjusting the collar so it's more off my shoulders.

"There, that should do it..." she says, smoothing out the fabric. 

I turn to look in the mirror, then turn back and ask, "Um, isn't that a little...low? Shouldn't I have it up more?" 

She shakes her head, explaining, "Nah, it lies flat easier this way. As for the cleavage, sorry, girlie, but you could have that in a turtleneck."

"As long as a nip doesn't slip out, you should be golden." she finishes and she starts rummaging in my dresser. 

"Ah, whatcha lookin' for?" I ask. 

I hear a quiet, "Aha!", and Val puts a bra in my hands. "G'head, put that on, see how it looks," she says.

"I-OK..." I say quietly, turning around and taking the shirt and my bra off. 

As I fumble with the bra she handed me, Val snorts and comments, "Y'know, it's not like I haven't seen a pair of 'em before..." 

After adjusting myself into the bra, I put the shirt back on and retort, "Yeah, well, habit, I guess..." I turn around, and Val fusses with the straps of the bra. 

"See, these are clear and matte, so you can have your support without the straps being seen...well, unless someone is all up on you, I guess."

"And, that should hold you in place decently. Go look in the mirror, Lina." she finishes. I look at myself one last time, and the straps work well, I can barely see them. All in all, it's a damn cute outfit.

Smiling, I hug Val and say, "Thank you, Vallie! I better get out of these and prep them for tomorrow, Penelope is gonna drive us and we'll get ready here before heading out. Are you still heading out with Joe for the weekend?"

Val nods, taking the clothes from me and putting them back on hangers, then hanging them over my bedroom door. Putting a tank top on, and slipping into pajama pants and an old t-shirt, I go and grab some Febreeze.

"What are you..." she starts, as I start lightly spraying the clothes. 

"Well, for one, I know I was a little sweaty, so I wanna get rid of that. Also, God only knows how long that's been in my closet." She shrugs and nods.

"Now that that's all settled," I say as I turn to her and set the bottle down on a nearby table. "What're we getting for dinner?" I finish with a smirk.

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Story Masterlist

[beneathstarryskies]

Is it safe, is it safe to just be who we are? (Dante x Reader)

Warnings: fem!reader, oral sex (f receiving), smut, creampie, attempted sexual assault (not by Dante, he saves the reader), alcohol, whiskey dick, maybe yandere themes if you squint, NOT EDITED, post DMC2 Dante Words: 4,936 A/N: This has been on my google docs forever and finally with the encouragement of @actuallysaiyan I finally finished it. (i swear to Sparda she's the only reason y'all get content from me because she just encourages me so much all the time to write the things i wanna write so shout out to Bacon for being amazing.)

Every night feels the same. Ever since Vie de Marli and returning from the underworld, Dante has scoured the local bar scene in search of simple distractions. All he needs is little chunks of time where he can feel pleasure and just not think. In those moments when he’s chasing release, he doesn’t have to remember that he killed his own brother or think about the never-ending cycle of demonic chaos being unleashed. He takes and takes and takes all he can from anyone who is willing to give it to him.

Dante has gotten quite good at picking out the right people to pursue. The ones who won’t care if he goes to their place instead of inviting them to his and won’t put up a fuss when he sneaks off in the morning, assuming he bothers to spend the night at all. Sometimes he even got lucky enough to meet someone who doesn’t even care if they exchange names, much less go somewhere more private. 

Tonight was one of those nights. All he had to do was buy her one drink and she was giggling as she dragged him to the bathroom. He couldn’t believe the lack of self-awareness she had for the way other’s judged her for the display. He stumbles behind her, having indulged in more drinks than usual tonight. His vision is so blurry he can hardly make out the details of her face as she pushes him against the bathroom wall and kisses him sloppily. He doesn’t quite like the way her tongue tastes against his, but it doesn’t matter in the end. They won’t see each other again. 

“Did ya lock the door?” he slurs. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she giggles. “Everyone saw us come in here.” 

He leans his head against the wall and closes his eyes as her hands drag down his chest. The kisses she places on his neck are mostly tongue. He tries to ignore the cold sensation from the air hitting the wet spots she leaves on his skin. He opens his eyes again when she pulls away. She’s sinking to her knees in front of him and he wonders if he should feel guilty for having her kneeling on the sticky floor. 

‘She put herself there,’ he thinks dismissively. 

Her fingers fumble with his belt buckle to the point that he becomes impatient and pushes her hand away so he can open it himself. She giggles out a quick thanks before tugging his pants off his hips. Once again he rests his head against the wall and lets his eyes flutter closes. His head is spinning right now. 

He’s only vaguely aware of the feeling of her tongue swirling over the tip of his cock. A soft sigh escapes him but he is otherwise quiet as she sets to work. He tangles his hand in her hair, and this makes her pull away with a scoff. 

“Don’t fuck up my hair,” she whines. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles and catches a whiff of the whiskey on his breath. He lets his hand fall to the side without looking at her. She licks his tip again and starts stroking his cock. 

Dante is waiting for that tingling feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it never happens. He doesn’t feel a damn thing. She stands up suddenly. 

“I don’t wanna do this,” she says as she straightens her skirt. 

“Wait–” 

She rolls her eyes, “You’re not even getting hard, dude.” 

Dante looks down and discovers with no small amount of exasperation that she’s right. He’s not even half hard. He tucks himself back into his pants before leaning off the wall. He walks over to the sink beside her where she’s fixing her makeup so he can splash water on his face. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t say anything,” the girl says. 

‘Except to that group of obnoxious friends who probably put you up to this to start with,’ he wants to say but doesn’t. Instead he just nods absently. 

He’d be humiliated if he cared enough about this situation. He leaves the bathroom before her and finds a spot at the end of the bar to sit, as far from everyone else as he can get. 

“You look like you could use this,” a soft voice says before passing a glass of water to him. You offer a comforting smile as he glances through a curtain of white hair at you. 

“Thanks,” he sighs. 

“Do you need me to call you a cab or something?” you ask him. 

“Nah,” he takes a sip from the water. “I’ll walk.” 

“Are you sure?” 

He growls, “Whaddya care?” 

You’re taken aback by the shift in his demeanor, and you pull back. You weren’t much for the party scene, but sometimes you come out for a drink after a long day. You’d always see him in here. Usually he left with someone, but sometimes he didn’t. He seemed more and more jaded every time. 

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly. “Uhm, just make sure you drink the water before you leave.” 

You return to your small group of friends. You wish you’d listened to them and just left it alone.

_

A few nights later, in the same bathroom he finds more success. This time he’s even managed to get the nameless woman bent over the sink. One hand is clasped over her mouth to keep her quiet as he pounds into her. He doubts she’s enjoying it half as much as she’s trying to sound. If she is, it’s completely by coincidence because he’s not trying. Not at all. He’s too busy chasing his own high. 

The proof of her lack of enjoyment comes when he groans a warning that he’s close. She’s pleading behind his palm for more, but it’s too late. Before she has a chance to reach her own peak, he’s pulling out to get out of the condom. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she gasps. 

“What?” Dante raises his eyebrow, “I told you I was close.” 

“Asshole,” she mutters as she pulls her dress down. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he kisses her cheek. “I’ll buy you a drink.”

“Fuck off.” 

“Your call,” he shrugs before leaving the bathroom. 

You try not to look at him when he walks out of the bathroom. A strange mix of disgust and pity fills you up. Why do you care so much? You ask yourself that every time you’re here. Maybe it’s some deluded sense of jealousy because he’s never tried to pick you up. 

That doesn’t mean Dante hasn’t noticed you. Ever since the night you brought him a glass of water, he’s done everything he can not to notice you. You sounded so genuinely concerned, and it filled him with a warmth he hasn’t felt in so long. He looks forward to Friday nights just so he can catch a glimpse of you. You’re usually with a group of friends, and in his imagination you’re the crown jewel of your friend group. The proof to him is the way they all smile when you do, that big infectious smile that lights up the whole bar. He tries to imagine the clever things you must say to make them all laugh. He’s seen the softer moments to. When one of your friends drinks too much, you’re the one escorting them to the bathroom to throw up or making sure they get home safe. 

He wants to say something to make you smile. He wants you to make him laugh like you do for your friends. Part of him wants to get shit-faced again just to see if you’ll take care of him and fill him with that warm feeling in his chest again. He can’t touch your life, he knows that. He’ll ruin it all if he does. So, he watches from the sidelines and selfishly hopes you never find a reason not to come back here. 

Tonight is a little different. You seem upset about something, but you’re trying to stay the jewel. You’re trying to smile, but there’s sadness behind it. The drinks are disappearing quicker than usual. He’s only ever noticed you having one or two, but tonight the table in front of you is littered in glasses. 

There’s a moment when he sees something snap in you, and you stand up suddenly. You’re starting towards the door, making hand motions to your friends to indicate for them to stay behind. He can’t believe they’re listening to you. 

‘Don’t go alone,’ he thinks. ‘Don’t…’

You stumble outside by yourself. His blood runs cold when a man follows behind you. Dante is bolting from the barstool before he has a moment to think about it. He’s outside and rounding the corner into the alleyway when he hears your small, soft voice slurring. 

“Leave me alone,” you whine. “Just leave me alone.” 

You’re pressed against the wall and the man is standing in front of you with both hands on the wall to block your exits. 

“Come on, just loosen up,” he tries to coax you. 

“Leave me alone,” you repeat pathetically. Your eyes widen when Dante’s large hand comes to the man’s shoulder, and he pulls him away from you effortlessly. 

“Get outta here,” Dante growls. 

The man puffs his chest up, “What are you? Her boyfriend?” 

“Just beat it,” Dante warns. “Don’t make me hurt you.” 

The man rolls his eyes, “From what I hear you can’t even get it up, so you’re not much of a man are ya–” 

Dante shoves the man hard enough for him to fall to the ground nearly a yard away. The man yelps and tries to stumble to his feet while screaming obscenities at Dante, who doesn’t even hear him anymore. He’s already turning to you. 

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Dante’s hands are gentle as they cup your cheeks. His thumbs wipe the stray tears off your cheeks. 

“I’m okay,” you sniffle softly. You look up at him, into the clearest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. Your heart races, “I just wanted to get some air.” 

“It’s alright, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Dante soothes you. 

“Thank you,” you say and then there it is, that sweet smile. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were like a knight in shining armor.”

“You think you know better?” he smirks. 

“You’re trouble in a red coat.” 

Dante chuckles and it feels nice. You’re something different, something special. He’s so happy he was keeping an eye on you so he could get to you before that guy could do anything to hurt you. 

“Don’t knights get rewarded for good deeds?” 

“Ah, but I decided you’re too much trouble to be a knight,” you remind him. 

“Right, right.” 

“But, uhm,” you blush before leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Affection blossoms in his chest. You’re slipping past him before he’s had time to come to terms with what’s happened. 

“Wait,” he calls out, “What’s your name?” 

You let a mischevious smile tug at your lips, “What do you care?” 

His heart races as he chases you into the bar again. He wants to follow you to your table and get your name. He wants to hear his coming from your sweet voice. He wants to make you giggle and smile. Maybe if he were to play his cards right, you’d give him a kiss. A real one. He knows, fuck he knows, that he could get so much more from any of these girls if he played his cards right but it wouldn’t feel warm like when you kissed his cheek. He’d sacrifice anything –everything– just to kiss you. 

He loses his nerve when you sit down at your table again with your friends. They all ask about you, and he hears you give a half-hearted excuse but not telling them the truth. Your eyes fall on him, and he’s sure there’s a hopefulness in them. You want him to be by your side too, but your friends are so close. He’d have to say something, anything to them to avoid looking like a creep. The script he’s trying to write in his mind for how that would go is just a blank white slate behind his eyes. 

So, he smiles. It’s a shy, half-hearted smile just for you. His bangs cover his eyes as he turns away from you. Your heart drops when he walks away. 

_

It’s been two weeks. Dante is there, every night, perched in his seat at the bar holding his breath as he waits for you to come through the door. You never do. His heart breaks more every night he doesn’t see you, and in the depths of his heart he can’t help ruminating on things touched but never held. On love that was in his reach but he let it go…

He doesn’t blame you, of course, if you’ve decided to give up the night life here. You’re not a dumb woman, so you certainly knew what would’ve happened to you that night if Dante hadn’t been there. Maybe you didn’t want to risk it anymore, but fuck Dante missed you. He didn’t even know your name but he missed you just as truly as if it was written on his heart. 

He’s given up, but only on the surface. Deep inside he’s in mourning. He tries to pick up girls again, return to his old life but he can’t. Every smile he’s given seems cold compared to yours. Just thinking about you makes something burn inside of him. He’s not sure if there’s some sort of devil instinct attached to this, after all his father was long gone before he could educated his sons on the ways being half-devils may change them. 

Dante is pretty sure he’s going crazy. He thinks he sees you everywhere he goes. He’s gotten so used to this phenomenon, he doesn’t believe it when he actually does see you. He blinks a few times, trying to clear the false image from his vision but he can’t. Instead you’re getting closer, and then you’re smiling. He realizes it’s really you when your hand rests ontop of his. 

“Hello stranger,” you smile softly. You’re trying to seem casual, but Dante can sense something else underneath it. Truthfully, you haven’t quite been able to get him off your mind for weeks. There was something about him that stuck with you. 

“Dante,” he breaths out. “My name is Dante.” 

You laugh, and he feels his heart racing in his chest from the beautiful sound. You sit down on the stool beside him and take his hand. You tell him your name shyly. It feels sort of silly to just be exchanging names with a man you’ve wondered a couple times throughout the weeks if you’d somehow fallen in love with. He repeats your name in a soft whisper. Dante is so happy to see you he almost feels like he could cry. Without a moment’s hesitation, he leans over to kiss you. You gasp against his mouth, and for a second he’s terrified you’re going to pull away. 

You don’t. Your hand cradles the back of his head gently, and you’re the one who deepens the kiss. Your plump, soft lips move against his like heaven. All the noise in the bar is muffled to his ears, and it’s like the two of you are the only people in the whole world. You’re cheeks are heating up as the realization hits you, and you pull away shyly. 

“I, uhm…” you swallow hard. “I’ve been thinking about you.” 

He chuckles and kisses your cheek before nuzzling his nose against the curve of your neck. You hadn’t expected him to be so affectionate, but you’re really loving it. It feels so good and so right. 

“I’ve been thinking about you too, baby,” he confesses. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

He presses a kiss on your neck and runs his hand up your back. You shudder softly, but lean closer to him. You only came here tonight in hopes of seeing him again. 

“Walk me home?” you ask, with the slightest lilt that hints to Dante that you want more. 

“Of course.” 

He quickly pays his tab, and then he grabs your hand to lead you out of the bar. As you begin leading him in the direction of your apartment, the two of your chat. Dante hangs onto every word that comes out of your pretty mouth. You tell him all about how you’d gone out of town for a little bit, and you spent the whole time wondering if you’d see him when you got back. You tell him about your job, your life, your friends. Every thing that makes your life colorful and full, and he hopes you’ll count him amongst those things. He’s never felt like this before. When he’s first taken to you, he was so determined not to touch your life and soil it. Now he’s hoping more than anything in the world to be welcomed with open arms. 

Finally, you lead him to the front door and you don’t even ask if he wants to come in. You just open the door and welcome him. He follows you without a second thought. The apartment smells like strawberry cream, and it makes him sigh happily. You close the door behind you and lock it back up. As soon as you’re in reach, Dante is grabbing your waist to pull you close to him. Your noses rub together before kissing so softly. Dante truly can’t believe his luck. 

“Baby, you’re so beautiful,” he whispers against your mouth. “I’m so happy.” 

You laugh, “I didn’t think you were so smitten. I mean, you never made a move…” 

“I didn’t think you’d have me,” Dante confesses. He kisses you again, “You’re too good for me.” 

“Hm, I think I can decide that for myself,” you chuckle. “Come here, let’s sit down.” 

You take his hand to walk him to the couch. You kick off your shoes before sitting down. Dante peels off his coat, and tosses it onto a nearby chair then he joins you. He moves in as close as he can with squishing you, and his breath is on your neck. You shiver from the tickle of air, then whine when his lips press against the same spots. Dante can’t remember the last time he cared whether he was bringing someone pleasure or not, but right now all he can think about is making you feel good. You rub his thigh and melt under his affections. Between his kisses on your neck, he’s whispering softly about how much he’s thought about touching you like this. 

“You’re so sweet,” you say softly. 

“What? Me? No, I–”

“You’re a puppy,” you tease him. 

“Hey! Don’t think–”

“A sweetheart,” you say before silencing his argument with a passionate kiss. 

Dante moans as you push yourself closer until you’re straddling his lap. His cock is straining against his pants, and you can’t help grinding against the firm bulge. Dante’s fingertips dig into your hips on instinct, and he keeps guiding you to grind against him. 

“Baby, you’re gonna get me all worked up,” he growls against your mouth. 

“I hope so,” you nip at his bottom lip. 

A low, rumbling growl rolls through his throat. In one quick motion, he has you on your back. His eyes almost seem to glow with the intensity of the passion burning inside. His hands are spreading your thighs and pushing your dress up before you fully comprehend the movement. It was so fast. 

“Let me–,” somehow with your pretty eyes staring up at him, he can’t bring himself to say anything crude as he would before with others. He swallows hard as he tries to think of a sweeter way to put it, “I need to taste you, please.” 

“Okay,” you blush. “I-I want you to.” 

As Dante tugs your panties off, you’re panting with desperate lust heavy in your lungs. He presses kisses on your inner thighs and you can feel his teeth scraping against your skin as he resists the urge to mark you up so soon. He spreads your thighs a little more, stopping only once to make sure you’re still comfortable with everything before kissing your mound. You gasp softly at the first contact, and the need erupts in your belly for more. Every breath Dante lets out tickles your folds in the most torturous tease you could imagine. 

“Please,” you whine finally. 

Dante smirks up at you but doesn’t leave you wanting any longer. His fingers spread your wet folds, and he lets out a satisfied hum. 

“So pretty, baby,” he whispers. “So fucking pretty.” 

His tongue pushes against your hole, teasing it a little before licking from your hole to your clit. A greedy groan falls from him as he tastes your sweet juices. That’s all it takes for Dante to give in to every bit of hunger he’s pushed down from the first moment he ever saw you. He’s lapping and slurping at your pussy like it’s the last thing he will ever taste. Truth be told, he’d be quite happy if your pussy was the only taste lingering on his tongue for the rest of his days. 

He has you right where he wants you too. Your back is arched against the sofa and your hands are tangled in his hair. You’d been so cute and shy at first, trying to hold back your noises. That had quickly changed when he had you coming undone the first time. As he lapped at you through the dull ache of overstimulation to force you toward a second climax, you started letting out desperate moans that would make a pornstar blush. You were begging for release, for more, and pleading for mercy all at the same time. Dante doesn’t stop until you’re so tensed up from the overstimulation that he can’t tell if you’re still breathing. 

“You still with me, angel?” he asks softly after lifting his head from between your thighs. 

You look down at him, cheeks burning at the sight of your juices glistening on the stubble across his face, then let out the breath you’d been holding. 

“I’m still here.” 

Dante chuckles softly before sitting up between your legs. There you are, laying underneath him all teary eyes and burning cheeks with your dress a wrinkled mess with the front pulled down past your tits and the skirt pushed over your hips. You look like a dream come true. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. You almost tease him for being soft, but the sincerity in his eyes makes you stop. Instead, you’re reaching out to let one hand rest on his waist and the other reaches for his cheek. He kneels down to meet the touch, purring softly at the way your hand feels so soft against his cheek. 

“I don’t understand why we’re so drawn to each other,” you confess shyly. 

“Me neither,” Dante sighs. “I just don’t want to fight it anymore.”

He carefully leans over you so he can catch your lips in a passionate kiss. He hopes more than anything that you can feel his emotions through this kiss. You’ll know how serious he is about this. He wants to be better for you. Maybe you can be a reason for him to keep living. 

You moan softly against his mouth and grab the hem of his shirt. You pull away from the kiss just long enough to peel off his thin black shirt and toss it aside. Goosebumps prick his skin when you drag your hands down his body. Your fingertips curl through his chest hair, following it to the strip that goes down the front of his pants. Dante grunts when you cup his cock through his pants. You palm at him gently before pulling out of the kiss, your eyes are so heavy and dark with lust as you look up at him. 

“I want you,” you say so confidently but he can see it wavering when he’s too speechless to answer right away. “Please.” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Dante breathes out. He can’t believe someone is looking at him that way; with such tender affection and genuine desire. He rubs his nose against yours before kissing you softly, “You’ll have me.” 

Dante can feel the urgency in the way you grind against him, and pitifully plea for him. He had hoped to take a little more time to undress each other and kiss, but he can feel your neediness affecting him too. His cock is just aching as you keep rubbing it through his pants. He finally opens his belt and pushes his pants down past his ass. His erection slaps against his abdomen when it’s free. The red, swollen tip glistens with his arousal and it makes your mouth water. He’s definitely bigger than you’d expected, and Dante can see the sudden hesitation on your face. 

“I’ll be gentle, sweetheart,” he promises. “Or we can stop if you–” 

“No!” your cheeks burn from your own urgency. “I don’t want to stop.” 

“Good, I don’t want to either.” 

He slots himself between your thighs and grasps his cock. You whine when he drags the leaking tip up and down your slit. Little jolts of pleasure go through you every time the head catches on your swollen clit. Finally, he settles at your entrance and slides into you slowly. You whine as inch by inch fills you up. Dante is tense from resisting the urge to just slam into you. 

Finally, he bottoms out with one last thrust. Your fingers tangle in his hair and you take a deep, shaky breath as you try to adjust to being so full. Dante’s thumbs draw little circles on your hips and his forehead rests against yours. Deep inside of you, he’s twitching with the need to start moving but he won’t move a muscle until you’re ready for him. Your little pussy is already being pushed to the limit just having him inside. 

“Does it hurt?” he asks gently. 

“N-no,” you swallow hard. “I just…I’ve never been this full.” 

“You feel so good, baby,” he kisses you sweetly. “It’s so tight.” 

There’s a gentle silence that falls over the two of you as you adjust to this sudden intimacy. You share soft kisses and honeyed words until you finally tell Dante what he wants to hear. 

“I’m ready.” 

Dante’s thumb drags against your hip again, “Yeah? You sure?” 

“Yes, please baby.” 

Dante guides your legs to wrap around his waist, then he’s rocking his hips. It’s a slow, easy pace at first. He just wants you to get used to the feeling of him moving inside of you since he’s probably fucking you deeper than anyone ever had. He doesn’t want to hurt you at all. He just wants to make you feel so good, and he’s starting to see that it’s working. Your skin is becoming hotter against his, and those pretty eyes are just glazed over with lust as you look down to watch Dante rock into you. Your hands move from his hair to gently rub down his back, then they rest on his hips. 

“Is it feelin’ good, baby?” Dante asks softly. Your eyes are so dazed when you look up at him. Your pretty lips hang open slightly. 

“Really good,” you gasp. 

“Want me to go a little faster?” 

“Harder,” you plead, making Dante chuckle. 

“Alright, baby,” he grabs your thighs to pull you closer then your ankles are resting on his shoulders. 

He gives you a few slow thrusts to get used to the new angle, but then he’s giving in to what you both want. Cries of love and passion fill your apartment as he pumps into your quivering walls. He grips your thighs hard enough to leave fingertip bruises on your skin. Your wet skin slaps and your hole squelches with his quick, hard thrusts. 

“Fuck, Dante!” you cry out. “I’m gonna cum!” 

“Good girl,” Dante praises. “Come on, then. Cum for me.” 

Your couch squeaks and groans from Dante’s passionate pace. He lets his thumb start rubbing your clit, and you’re pushed over the edge. Heated waves of pleasure flow over your skin, leaving your vision clouded with static as you ride it out. Dante can’t hold back with the way you’re squeezing around him. You’re still in the throes of pleasure when he cums too. His cock throbs with every thick rope of cum. 

“Shit,” you sigh as you come down from your orgasm.

Dante gives in to the weakness of his legs and sits on his knees with his cock still pushed inside of you. He presses a soft kiss on your ankle and you playfully tap his cheek with your toe. He caresses you lovingly, still not quite convinced this isn’t a dream. 

“Would you believe me if I said I’m crazy about you?” he asks. 

“Yeah, of course,” you giggle. “I’m kind of crazy about you too. Even though we learned each other’s names like 2 hours ago.” 

Dante gently pulls out of you and finesses his way into laying on the couch with you on his chest. He presses a kiss on your forehead and runs his fingers through your hair. 

“I feel like I’ve known you forever. You’re so…I don’t know, magnetic feels corny to say.” 

You giggle as you look up at him, “I’ll happily keep you company while you figure it out.”

[memberment]

DOES ANYONE WANNA PLAY A GAME??? (This is the post I was just yapping about.)

So we’re playing a game! Perhaps, if anyone wants to play! 

For reference, we have all gotten pretty used to me having one fic per day of the week, with exclusion of Sundays, bc I gen hate posting on Sundays. (I don’t wanna talk about it!<3) 

But. As of more recent months, I’ve shackled myself to behemoth fics that realistically, y’all would be waiting for new shit for millennia if I start posting shit in the order I’m writing it. So that’s just not gonna work! (I also do not want to be shackled to ao3 forever, but I cannot just write shit and leave it to rot in my google docs because I am not evil. Sharing is caring.) 

So without saying any more than that (bc I gotta leave y’all with some mystery), I would like y’all to help me narrow down this list of twenty to ten. (These are all of my open concepts that I’m willing to touch at the moment. There are a few more sprinkled about, but I don’t even wanna think about them rn.) I have listed titles, if I have them (if not, it's noted) and brief either descriptions or yaps. Literally just throw numbers of shit you wanna see or specifically think I should not be working on first at me. Do not care. Whatever floats your boat. <3

-

A Girl and Her Dog - Bebe runs into a lunatic and a dog while trying to complete a task (there’s actually a leak for this in my test fic).

Ca$h4Cultz - The main four accidentally manifest a god after starting a cult. (Again, leaks are in my test fic. This one might not be super long, but whenever I think about it, it makes me laugh really hard.)

Tweek’s Eclipse?? - I don’t have a title for this yet. It is literally Tweek’s story from Eclipse. Including the shit before. I’m not super invested in it yet, but the first chapter I did write kinda hits. There’s leaks for it somewhere in my slew of posts on here.

What Are You? (not sold on this title) - Tweek meets an imp after spending his whole life alone. He doesn’t really care if the imp takes his soul, but for some reason, he can’t. This aggravates the imp to no end so now he’s just dragging Tweek along to figure out exactly why he can’t take Tweek’s soul. (The imp is Craig. I personally think what I have written so far is fucking funny. It’s not gonna be good, but I stand by it.) 

Son Of Satan - Craig meets an imp. Or at least, that’s what the imp’s calling himself. (This is probably gonna be a fun nonsense piece with no legitimate plot and will probably get thrown on the trashfic pseud, but it will be fun. The entire fic is concepted off of one single piece of fanart I saw, if I can find it again, I will gladly share.) 

Untitled mind reader fic - I do not have a set title for this because I’m only two chapters deep. Basically, Tweek has to deal with some shit after someone starts reading his mind and decides to speak up. 

Untitled Horror Duo- Okay, so neither of these have titles yet, but basically, it’s two fics. There is the main story and the prequel. They both line up though in the way that I have the guides structured. These are so old, but I have like 30k between the two of them and I kinda don’t want to just leave that to rot, y’know? The main storyline follows Tweek who just entered high school after being locked away his entire life. He’s possessed by something, making adjusting to normal human life ten times more difficult. But still, he manages to find friends that care about him and want to help him, despite everything. And the prequel actually follows Kenny who’s had some close encounters with the something that’s possessing Tweek in the main story. I think this could be really fun. I remember being very deliberate about weaving these stories together when I was working on it and it was fucking ANNOYING!!! But it might also be really bad (I haven’t touched what I have since around March so I gen don’t know???), so I may assign it to  the trash psued. BUT IT’S AN OPTION!!! 

Three Kings Of Chaos - Chaos Inc. has three leaders. General Disarray, Major Mayhem, and Professor Chaos (of course). But being super villains can be complicated. Especially when their angel donor decides he wants to join in on the fun. (This will realistically probably not be very good. But, I find the concept to be very entertaining.) 

Then We Won’t (I’m not sold on the title) - When a kid gets outcasted for his powers, he makes an unlikely alliance. (This entire fic got concepted around the saying ‘The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’) 

Untitled Civil War Fic - Basically, C&F are all evil. The Freedom Pals are just trying to get their friends back. Just about every ship in this winds up getting thrown in enemies to lovers territory. Except for Butters and Bebe (and I personally think their storyline is fucking hilarious). 

New Beginnings Rewrite - I HAVE VERY LARGE IDEAS FOR THIS. THE OLD ONE IS STILL UP SO I WILL NOT BE ELABORATING.  

Human Island - (no set title) After the world is destroyed, humans are limited to a small chain of islands. But what happens when a scientist threatens to destroy the harmony they’d worked so hard to build? (This is loosely based on something and if someone were to catch it if I were to write and post this, I would lose my fucking shit. Like, I think I would be so happy I would, like, throw up.) 

Vents - (no set title) SOMEONE gets thrown into a psychiatric facility. Involuntarily, of course. They assume they’re just abandoned there to die until someone starts calling out to them through the vents. 

I might actually finish Stalkers (this is not the title but I’ve been referring to it as such since it got concepted). Heads up though. This one is trash. Like out of everything I’ve ever written, this is thee trash. It was actually the precursor for Leap Year in the sense that I wanted to write something problematic for the sake of being problematic. It will be on the trash fic psued. Like, I genuinely find it funny because of how bad it is. But I can’t recommend telling me to work on this, because it genuinely isn’t good and I stand by that. 

My Love Letter To You - There are not one, but two Professor Chaos’ in this story. How fucking wild. Wonder how that happened. This story is basically the set up to them fighting it out and what led them there. (I’ve been eyeing and fiddling with this for a while and if you read my end notes you can prob figure out when I started messing with this concept). 

Untitled Cartman and Kenny FP fic. - Okay, so this was actually one of my first fanfic concepts. Basically, Cartman spends a good amount of time blacked out. When the other Freedom Pals find out, they try to intervene. And of course, Kenny has something to do with it. 

Cntrl: Escape - I think this might genuinely be my favorite out of all of these. A group of people get elected to escape their “perfect” world. (There is a tyrannical ruler and AI involved. Also the opening scene rn is artist Tweek trying not to lose his shit over the AI art contests surrounding his block. I love it. This one’s prob Tweek centric, but there are six(?? I’m not checking my notes. Approximately six???) mains in this.) (There is also a tiny leak of this on my test fic.) 

Untitled Kyle Supersomething Fic - As states. Human Kite’s either gonna be a supervillain or a vigilante who does not fuck with the rules of hero society and does things his own way. Could be fun. Oh also, from the jump I have decided the bad guys (Kyle) win in this. Like, I feel like villains winning is severely lacking and I need to contribute to what I want to read because that is the entire reason I started writing fanfic. 

Untitled Evil Shed Fic - And our favorite gadgeteer superhero is not a superhero anymore. He’s much worse. Stan is irredeemable in this, or at least that’s where it’s taking shape in my head right now. This is prob gonna border on horror if not be straight up horror. I do have plans to make all of the people I really focus on character wise (that isn’t Butters, obviously) have their own villain fic at some point, but rn all I have buzzing around my little idiot brain are Kenny (which is done), Stan, and Kyle’s. (Wendy’s is also starting to take shape in my head, but not enough to concept it out yet.)

New Kid - A small town (South Park, obviously) falls into chaos when an alien stumbles upon them. This is New Kid centric without it actually being New Kid centric. I have been giggling about this concept since the idea graced me back in March when the warm weather first popped around and I heard the song ‘Trailer Park Alien’ for the first time. Which is exactly what this fic is based on. 

[takeyourpillsbitchh]

Bubble Bath Re-Write 🫧🛁

I found this little re-write while going through my google docs this morning and felt the need to share it with y’all 😘

***

Mickey was fucking uncomfortable. The cold metal faucet was digging into his back. The scent of the bubbles was too strong. The water was too hot. This felt weird and fucking embarrassing. And his knees were starting to cramp from the position.

Ian looks nice and fucking comfortable, eyes closed, relaxed back against the slanted part of the tub.

“This is gay.” Mickey grumbled, because it’s all he knows to say to keep himself from lashing out.

“We’re gay, Mick,” Ian answers back, eyes still closed, but Mickey shakes his head.

“Nah. I don’t think I’m this gay,” He says, unsure. He wants to like it but it’s just not doing it for him. Is this really how couples take fucking baths together? Nah.

“Nope. I’m getting out,” Mickey stands quickly, the water sloshing around in the tub.

Before he can step out a large hand is closing around his wrist to stop him.

“Mick, wait—”

“No, I don’t like it,” he says but he doesn’t make a move to leave again. Ian looks up at him, catching his eye with those puppy dog green ones, stares at him for a minute before his face goes all soft and mushy.

“C’mere,” He says, the corner of his mouth tugging up as he gently pulls Mickey back down.

He goes without a fight, letting Ian position him between those long, strong legs.

This isn’t so bad, Mickey hums to himself as he relaxes back against Ian’s chest, his legs less cramped in this position, nothing hard digging into his back—well, the hard part wasn’t completely true, but this one was welcome.

“Better?” Ian asks, his hands sliding up and down Mickey's biceps, squeezing every now and then in a lazy massage.

“Mhmm,” Mickey hums, nodding slightly against Ian’s shoulder.

The water had cooled off a bit, the scented bubbles weren’t making him nauseous anymore and the only thing digging into his back was his husband's hard on and he could happily live with that.

Somehow Ian ended up with his face pressed to Mickey’s neck, hands rubbing at every part of his husbands body he could reach from this position. He mouths at the skin of Mickey’s neck every now and then; open mouthed kisses, gentle sucks and love bites.

Mickey tilts his head to the side, wanting more. Loves the way Ian’s mouth feels on him.

“Don’t like fighting with you,” Ian says suddenly against his skin, low and soft. Mickey's eyes flutter open, not even realizing they’d fallen closed in his relaxation.

“Hm?”

“I don’t like fighting with you.” Ian repeats, pressing another kiss to Mickey's neck then his jaw. “About anything.”

Mickeys quiet for a minute. Bites the inside of his lip in thought. Ian never stops kissing or touching him.

“Yeah, me, either,” He finally replies. And it’s true. He hates fighting with Ian about…anything.

They aren’t stupid teenagers anymore. Sometimes they can be stupid adults but they know how to communicate better now but sometimes…sometimes communicating is fucking hard and it makes him uncomfortable.

“Maybe, we could like, do this more often?” Mickey says, turning his face to press his forehead against Ian’s jaw.

“Yeah?” Ian asks and Mickey feels his smile more than he can see it.

“Yeah.” He answers, kissing Ian’s chin before snuggling back against his husband's chest once again.

“Hm,” Ian hums after a moment, nuzzling against Mickey's ear. “Wanna fool around?”

A smile spreads wide across Mickey's face as a hand slides between his thighs.

“Absolutely.”

[hayatoseyepatch]

Sam!!! Congrats on the milestone again, this is so exciting! I hope you’ve been enjoying your time on the blr writing and interacting because you are a joy 💚

So matchups, hm? I’m curious about a match from either wbk OR tokyo rev (just one, and you choose!) just whatever comes to your head first 😅

She/they pronouns, an introvert disguised as an extrovert I think. I can be super outgoing, but it drains me, and my idea of a fun time is definitely sitting at home with my favorite coloring app and Law&Order: SVU. I usually have music playing at any given time, and my top artists are Hozier and Sleep Token. I wear a lot of leggings and hoodies and depending on how cool I wanna look I’m either in my Birks or Docs lol. When I’m not being a homebody, I like bookstores, dungeons and dragons, and concerts. Oh, and I don’t want kids, like, at all. So my partner has to be okay with that.

My favorite tropes are friends to lovers and Coffeeshop AUs (also a big fan of Only One Bed cause who isn’t?)

I like guys taller than me (not hard since I’m 5’2” lol) who have a darker aesthetic. Gotta be smart, usually very serious on the outside with a goofy side that not everyone sees. I admire people with hobbies, something they’re really passionate about.

My favorites from wbk are hiragi (obviously), ume, togame, and arima, and my faves from Tokyo rev are akkun, takemichi, mitsuya, and kisaki.

I don’t really have any characters that I loathe from either fandom, though I can’t see myself ever being with someone who’s, like, super crazy peppy and outgoing all the time.

Again, just pick either fandom! I figured I’d give you options cause I have a lot of love for both series 💚 congrats again!

Melonnn!! ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡♡ Thank you so much for your kind words and for participating! You're literally so sweet and I’m so lucky to be moots with such an angel ♡ On to your matchup my love!

I Match you up with Toma Hiragi from Wind Breaker!

⤜♡→ Come on now I cant be expected not to appreciate the actual best couple in the entire world. Satoru Nii and me are besties we literally just got off the phone and he was like “Yeah ofc RagiMel is canon.” I just think you guys are such a good match for eachother. Your personalities just suit each other so well. I am a firm supporter of things are boring if you are the exact same personality wise and I feel like your differences and similarities attract you to one another.

⤜♡→ Hiragi would much rather sit at home with you, his head perched on your lap as you explain the plot to one of your shows to him. Is he a little worried you’d be able to dispose of his boy too well with the amount of Law and Order episodes you both have binged? Sure. But its always nice to keep them on their toes, yk?

⤜♡→ Hiragi was the first to confess, but he took his sweet time doing it, poor man was so nervous. He was more than ready to take out Umemiya for not so subtly pointing out his (very obvious) crush on you. I feel like he isn’t the best at hiding his feelings. Being openly stern and even aggressive with the others but always kind and gentle when it came to you. His favoritism was just so blatantly obvious.

⤜♡→ This may be a hot take but I feel like Hiragi is more than okay with not having kids. I know a lot of people look at him and are like “ahh, yeah he’s totally a guy who wants a family.” But hear me out here. Hiragi has had his fair share of being an older brother almost fatherly figure to those like Sako, Kaji, and Sakura. He’s done his fair share and he is more than happy to just spend the rest of his life loving you and maybe even getting a pet or two. Your love is more than enough for him. You and Bofurin are his family, and that’s all he could ever ask for.

He pulls over into a clearing putting the car in park, getting out to properly set up the bed of the truck with pillows and blankets, humming to himself. He approaches our door after a moment opening it and offering you his hand, helping you out of the vehicle and walking you to the back. Grinning he allows his large hands to cup your waist, leaning down to slot his lips against yours. It didn’t matter how long you had both been together, every time kissing Hiragi felt like the first time. The all-encompassing love he slipped into every kiss still had you weak in the knees. Pulling away from you, he looks into your eyes, his own soft and lidded with adoration. Pressing his forehead against your own, his breaths fanning your face as he speaks. “I love you darling, more than you could ever possibly know.” With one more love-stricken smile he lifts you, helping you into the bed of the truck. Climbing in after you he settles you both against the blankets, lying down next to you.

He hums in contentment as you lie your head against his chest. He had taken you here many times before, the calm of the area where you could both just enjoy each others presence while looking up at the night sky, gazing at the array of stars. He craved these moments with you, where it was just the two of you, where nothing else mattered but holding you in his arms. He smiles, arms squeezing you tightly to him, smile adorning his features. One hand carding his fingers through your hair. “We haven’t been able to come here in a while, we have so many good memories here.” He hums, pulling you closer to him, recalling the very first time he brought you here. “This is where I told you I loved you for the first time, remember?”

His heart soars when he hears you laugh, recalling the memory, him taking his medicine to qualm his aching stomach from nerves. The way he felt as if his face would melt with the heat from his red cheeks. His words came out nervously, surging in to capture your lips with his own when you reciprocated his confession. His teeth clashing with your own in the kiss, so much so that he had punctured your lip. “How could I forget?” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, his smile aimed at you once more. As he felt the weight of the velvet box that weighed down his pocket, he just hoped you could make yet another memory in your special place.

[oonajaeadira]

State of the WIP Address

Okay, y'all, I've been in a really weird place where I've been avoiding...pretty much a lot of stuff. Dunno if I have to talk to my doctor about upping my meds or what, but this is why I actually went on them--my depression manifests not in laziness, but avoiding things I need to do and things I actually WANT to do. Then I don't do them and it all starts building up. And then the to do pile feels insurmountable, like I'll never get to finish all these wonderful things. So I just...freeze up and roll over. Like a fainting goat. You'd think I'd be like "yay! lookit all the things to look forward to! I have years ahead of me full of things I really want to do! I should never be bored again!" But no. Can't do them Right Now? Fainting goat. It's weirdo. We've all got our weirdo and this is mine.

I only mention it here because I do State of the WIP Address to be accountable. Now, the weird thing is, I don't actually expect anyone to read these posts--they're boring and personal and totally for my own motivation. I just know myself and know if I put something out there, I'll feel bad if I don't do it and that should motivate me to actually do it.

But here's the thing....it doesn't work anymore. I'm no longer fulling for my own snake oil. The placebo has run out. If I know it's inconsequential, then my brain tricks me into thinking that I'm accountable to no one. And, in reality, it's true that I'm actually accountable to no one so the trick doesn't work.

Anyway. Welcome to Adira's brain where she finds her own thought patterns a fascinating psychological study and the lab results are inconclusive.

So I'mma try to twist the experiment a bit. Rather than list the things I know I can't get to right this second and feel bad about it, we're gonna let promises go and do it this way. It's not interesting to anyone but me and anyone who nerds out on process. But rather than listing the things I'm not working on, I'll talk about the ones I am, how it's going, what's in my craw about it, and maybe in my ramblings I'll clear the gears to start rolling again.

This isn't interesting to anyone but me unless you really wanna see how seriously I take my fic writing. Cringe if you want. I'm just being honest with myself. My fic isn't high art, but as with anything I create, I can't half-ass it either. It's "be satisfied with it on my terms" or bust.

STATE OF THE WIPS

I have one million projects happening, but these are the pieces I'm actively thinking about and working on at the moment.

SECRET SANTA Where it's at: I'm writing for someone I think is a wonderful person and want to do right by them, so the pressure's on. But at the same time, it's not. Because I know how accepting and lovely the person is and they gave me a lot of prompts and options and like a lot of the things I do and seem to like a lot of the types of things I like to write. I also know that this doesn't have to be over-complicated, that I can write my heart and it will please both of us. While I haven't actually opened up a doc to start, I know that it's the type of thing that if I have a little uninterrupted block of time, I can just sit down and it will flow. I won't say much about it here, but I will say that while it can 100% be read as standalone, it hits on a character/series I'm currently writing and acts as a kind of prequel, a reason for loving the reader as he does. It's something that is kind of missing in the planned series and I think this would be a nice opportunity to explore it before moving forward (and maybe helping propel that series a little) while also touching on one of the characters my giftee likes, a genre they are interested in that I hadn't considered with this character, and it will have a tone I think they'll appreciate. So while it's for them and being written with their likes in mind, I thank them, because it's also a little gift for me and my yearnings. What's stopping me: Time constraints and general anxiety.

TROPE FIC: MODERN DOM!PERO Where it's at: This one got a little sloppy and I'm working on it. I've been following @max--phillips' entries about what defines certain types of kinks and while my thoughts on dom!Pero started as true dom, they swung wrong when I started working on this, and now I'm just thinking myself back to the definition of dominant. And while I may still be missing the mark, it's helping me to think more about how I want to explore and frame this dynamic. It's also giving me a little trouble in that it's not coming out chronologically which causes me to waste time jumping around and retrofitting things. What's stopping me: I put this one on hold to start prioritizing the Secret Santa piece.

TROPE FIC: SEX POLLEN!OBERYN Where it's at: This piece is flowing chronologically. It's going to be longer than I anticipated and the first draft is about 1/3 done. I already know that after the first draft I'll have to do some shaping and I think maybe I got overwhelmed with the task I set for myself and that triggered my avoidance. I know where it's going, I'm excited for it, it will flow easily if I let it, I just have to do it! What's stopping me: I put this one on hold because I got distracted by tasty Pero thoughts. I blame @perotovar for the thots, but not the stopping. That's all on me.

TROPE FIC: ALPHA!JAVI Where it's at: I'm about 1/2 done with the first draft. Again, this one will be longer (and also more angsty) than I anticipated. I love love love where it's going though and reader and Javi's history is beautiful and sad and complex; I really love that half. I'm just now switching into the modern day section of it and have to make a few decisions about how I actually want it to go. My mind is over-complicating the story and I'm trying to wrestle it down a softer path. What's stopping me: I got distracted by the Oberyn story which is why this one's on hold and now this is all Inceptioning on itself.

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. Where it's at: The asks are all sorted, there are only a few more sessions left before chapter 4. I just have to write it. What's stopping me: Here's the thing about PATS. If I was out for notes, I'd be pounding on this series, because it's my most popular one. But... really, I'm just here to dream up stories I like to tell. I put PATS down not consciously and not because I don't love him, but I got excited by other ideas. I want to finish it because I don't like having a bunch of unfinished projects lying around, but I also don't want that to be my #1 motivator for writing him. I want to enjoy it. I did enjoy putting the latest installment out, but I also don't feel like I'm letting anyone down if I don't hurry it, just because engagement is low. Again, I'm not here for the notes, I truly love the connection and the squeeing and sharing a yearn. We're all so busy now that it's tough to get to everything and the mutual timing is a bit off. That's okay. It's planned out, it'll get done, I just have to do it when I'm feeling it.

LEAVE OFF YOUR WANDERING: WINTER Where it's at: Finished plan. Yet to begin writing. What's stopping me: I was wrestling with this one for a bit because I had two directions it could go--soft and fluffy without much meat, or weaving all the details together and serving a story that gets rather dark, a little sad, and serves as a fix it. On one hand, I felt like I would be betraying readers by not keeping the euphoric escape. But I would also feel like I built this whole backstory that needed to manifest itself in a test for Joel and Meadowlark, as well as the fact that--other than backstories--there hasn't been any canon hardship or violence displayed. It's like I'm missing a huge chunk of who Joel and Meadowlark are. In the end, that's where the story wants to go, so I'm going there. And I have to not think about what anyone else wants, just me. Not just for selfish reasons, but I know that's when I do my best. It doesn't mean there won't still be fluff and a happy ending. It just means I have to write darkness and perhaps it will serve me better to do it in the season in which it takes place.

[tryhardgwen]

omg my first platonic fic

this is a platonic showmaker & chovy (& faker) runeterra au with proplayers as league of legends champions (kindred). i used a lot of league of legends canonical lore and then spun it with my own ideas :]

idk how tumblr works again but i realize I can do a lot more long form messages here so I will probably use this blog to put my thought process about writing fics? i will put that below, but it has spoilers so if u wanna check it out probably read the fic first !!

named after the sleep token song:

i chose this song to name it after this not only because the obvious kindred relation with "the eyes of the wolf / the mouth of the lamb" but also because of the other lyrics!

"for so long I have waited / so long that I almost became / just a stoic statue fit for nobody" is very much the grey man coded.

"the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me" would talk about the creation of the kindred, and lamb and wolf. they are each others escape.

"i know i know the way that it goes / you get what you give / you reap what you sow" well... kindred. they give death, and... ok imma stfu.

"and just like the rain / you cast the dust into nothing / and wash out the salt from my hands / so touch me again /i feel my shadow dissolving / will you cleanse me with pleasure?" i think speaks to the relationship between lamb and wolf again.

"nobody can say for certain / if maybe it's all just a game / when I open my eyes to the future / I can hear you say my name" is what I perceive to be the kindred and the grey man's relationship. :>

in the end notes i vaguely touch on the idea of the "LCK Mid" which I think is one of thee most interesting dynamics in lolesports. I've been wanting to write plat fics for a while to sort of explore. in my eyes the holy trinity of the lck mid would be faker, chovy, and showmaker. man I love them. also my grammarly keeps autocorrecting showmaker to shoemaker and its so annoying lmao.

but anyway they r SO INTERESTING! in this fic i tried to include a lot of parallels, from how showmaker as lamb knows more than chovy as wolf—because chovy hasn't won anything internationally unlike showmaker has. chovy's more hungry, because he hasn't won a world championship yet. not to mention their relationship with faker—each having a diff specialization and aspect of their gameplay. showmaker has said many times about how he doesn't want to be the next faker so i made him despise the grey man here. with faker as the grey man i again use the whole "alone at the top" trope because... oh my god I'm a sucker for that. he's got everything, but everyone hates him, and he is lonely. plus my ending + the cyclic nature of the world/of the esports... faker will always be there. it will always come back to him. there will be other midlaners, but its always faker at the end, or so it seems.

anyway! i had a lot of fun writing this fic. it was very challenging and out of my comfort zone because it was platonic and abt people I haven't written about before, and because its a lot more... abstract? it relies on parallelism and reading between the lines. idk. my brain is dumb. i am also dumb. i just vomit words on a google doc and pray for the best.

if anyone has more questions u can ask here on tumblr or on retrospring. please be nice bc again tumblr scares me. i am easily scared.

[syrips]

hello im gonna pin this post

hello my name is Syrips, im a super duper simp and simp/self-insert enabler for others who love strahd or any cos/ravenloft/fictional characters

im 28, but i sometimes say im thirty as a vague response because its easier and faster to say (or safer to say to strangers)

i think i am autistic but i am currently only self-diagnosed; i plan to tell my doctors once i compile a binder of reasons why i think im autistic based on noted events in my childhood, behavior, and my reflected perspective on things in pages of charts and text which is a totally neurotypical thing to do

im genderfluid and i am fine with any and all pronouns (different people may use different/changing/fluid pronouns on me, i am completely fine with this)

im polyamorous and pansexual/panromantic, i gush over games that have polyamory/pan options!!

i have huge CoS/Ravenloft spoilers so please, PLEASe do not enter unless you are fine with being spoiled with all kinds of content. i also wont explain what is or isnt 'canon' because, well, some things may be canon for one person, while potential/not-canon for another, so i really cannot confirm or deny it myself.. ask your DM for confirmation! (and for my players who are here, hehe, goodluck figuring it out!)

i do music, art, crafting, and streaming sometimes, here is my linktree: https://linktr.ee/syrips

please 'ask'/message/send me any and all of your curse of strahd and/or ravenloft works of art! this can include these and more!:

playlists

moodboards

art/portfolio/link to your art or artblog

pages of your OC/PC/dnd lore (both player and DM welcome)

campaign/session notes and storytime

canon and potential-/home-/head-canon dumps

narrations/imagines/ao3/google docs/fanfic/fic writings

cool crafts!!

i crave it more than strahd craves blood, please and thank you!

you can also send me stuff and let me know if you want me to gush/simp over it, provide advice, or simply acknowledge it (publicly or privately)! let me know in advance cuz i dont want to make you uncomfortable with what you share

i have no limits on triggering fictional content, just make sure to tw it properly if it is sensitive content for others

my Ask thingy is always open, i may ramble alot if i get passionate enough though so be warned! hehe

ok goodbye ill edit or change this whenever idk

Edit Entry 1 - 11th Moon, 2023

for context, keita/raze (he/him) is my irl partner. he's been a simp for alucard (castlevania) longer than i've begun simping for strahd. i only discovered this years into the relationship when we watched castlevania (where i expected to be a bigger simp for castlevania), and instead HE made high pitch simping noises as alucard appeared on the screen and i was like -sus eyes- wait a GOSH DARN MINUTE-. also, keita has a thing for necks. i shrugged it off when he first told me, but years later i started simping for strahd and now i look back at that moment like 'hm. odd.-'. anyways, i mostly started dating him because he sounds like a kermit the frog southern guy who goes 'howdy howdy' and he says 'i should be golden' unironically and i think thats pretty funny

i tag stuff as #making a keita tag so when keita presses this he can see all the stuff that he likes so that i can organize stuff and incase he ever decides to poke around my blog and use this tag search within my blog

Edit Entry 2 and 3 - 12th Moon, 2023

syrips OC/PC list (loosely alphabetical)

Other People's Adored OC/PC list (loosely alphabetical)

Edit Entry 4 - 7th Moon, 2024

hi huge warning that im fucking WEIRD. like i know people may enjoy the idea of me for entertainment/indulgence purposes but please please. if you ask/tell me to do something, i will 90%-chance take it seriously and respond bluntly/directly. please take my warnings seriously and please please interact with me responsibly!!

and i already know some would be like, 'oh syrips people always say that. they wanna act unique/special by calling themselves weird'. like. thats fair if people dont believe that but please dont be surprised when freakos start feeling more comfortable/vulnerable around you and you become shocked. like. stop trying to shame/blame freakos for what they've warned since the beginning. please, it's hurtful and disrespectful.

my asks are always open, be as blunt/direct as you want. most of my cws will be with "cw: " before it. let me know if you want me to cw tag something!

i use the #be cringe be free tag for weirdos/freakos/happy/indulgent stuff. this can include stuff that isnt 'cringe', and/or cringe we embrace. it's okay to be cringe. it's okay to say cringe culture is dead. it's okay to not see things as cringe. it's okay to embrace the cringe. it's okay to indulge, to be your favorite version of you. it's okay to indulge, even if it's unfamiliar/scary. i use the tag for moments of doing what makes you happy, regardless if youre unfamiliar with that indulgent feeling. be cringe be free!!

[onlinekitsune]

Free Dinner: The Mammon Way

you know, i forgot people write unfinished things and update them as be.. so i am also gonna try that! not sure if anyone would want me to continue this but, if you do please let me know!! i hope you enjoy!! btw in my google doc’s this was called “right in front of my salad??” 

It wasn’t often that you and Mammon had time, with just yourselves. Especially returning to the Devildom. It was hard to get one on one time, when all the demon brothers wanted your attention almost constantly. But today was your lucky day, just the two of you sneaked out undetected by anyone. It was nice just being alone with him, even if he was hesitant to fully admit it at first. You ran your fingers over his knuckles, as he continued to hold your hand even after running out of the house. He rolled his eyes in response, turning away so you wouldn’t see his bright red face. He didn’t know his ears gave him away.

“Um… now that we’re actually… alone. What do ya wanna do? We have the whole town to ourselves!” He grinned, swinging your hand along with his. Before you could respond, a growl interrupted. In this vast forest of trees it would have been terrifying if the growl wasn’t coming from you. You skipped breakfast in order to sleep in, which you regretted at this very moment. “We can always go to that restaurant I took you and Beel?”

“Oh! Ristorante Six! But… I didn’t bring my wallet? And… well… I know your situation with Goldie.” You smirked, poking at Mammon. Again his bright blue eyes circled around at your comment. 

“Who said anything about paying?”

Your eyes widened, you knew that Mammon was pretty reckless and impulsive. You were dragged in the majority of his schemes ever since you made a pact with him. You were designated his partner in crime. Whether you liked it or not.

“You know, I didn’t expect you to be so brave to dine and dash. Especially if Lucifer heard of this, I think he’d maybe put your head on a pike.” You laughed, almost not believing his suggestion. That was until you saw his reaction. A slight confusion spilled onto him. He didn’t exactly explain his idea, but it was clear that was not it.

“O-Oh! Yeah, haha… um… that’s… right.” He muttered out. He scratched his neck, trying to turn away from you. Mainly out of embarrassment for not being on the same page. Your interest piqued, curious of what he really had planned. You leaned closer to him, squinting your eyes. “MC?”

Mammon tried backing up, but only to be met with your closeness once again. You leaned into him, leaving no room between you. “Yeah? Something tells me… that’s not what you were thinking.” You whispered, trailing your fingers along his bicep. “C’mon Mams, let me know what is really going on in your brain, hm?”

His face flustered, trying to avoid your gaze. But everywhere he tried to look, your face would peek in front of him. He groaned, trying not to give in. But once you grabbed his hands and rested your face on his chest while looking up at him, it was too difficult. “Okay! Okay! I guess I will tell ya” he sighed. “Your methods are so… cruel.” He hesitated, still unsure whether to tell you. “So… ya know. I was thinkin’… that maybe we could…” he hesitated again, before erupting into a flurry of words. “Possibly pretend that I’m proposin’ to you to get a free dinner… or somethin’ like that or whatever.”

After saying that he quickly shut his eyes, avoiding your visual response. He was too embarrassed admitting his very obvious feelings. You let out a small giggle. Though Mammon hated admitting his feelings, he was absolutely cute and somehow… pretty romantic? “I didn’t know you guys did that at the Devildom! Who am I to say no to a proposal and a free dinner!” 

His eyes quickly opened, shocked by your response. Even though you didn’t hold anything back on him in regards to your feelings. Adding to that shock, you kissed him. “Wha! You can’t just..”

“Let’s go Mammon… My proposal and dinner await!” You exaggerated, tugging him along.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hi sleepy! Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you! Have a wonderful year ahead! While I have been a long time ghost fan, I have to admit that this is the first time I've seen your work and I think it's absolutely fantastic! I would like to ask you four questions. 1- Apart from the usual traits, what was it about the character that drew you to ghost? 2- What inspired you to decide to pair up ghost with jade and how did you come up with her character? 3- How long have you been an artist? 4- Have you considered the possibility of actually writing a proper story about ghost and jade like one with a lot of chapters? Cause I've read your short stories and I think they are marvelous. Keep rocking the artwork and leading an amazing life! I wish you the best!:)

Hello hello! (´ ∀ ` *) Thank you so much!

Apart from the usual traits, what was it about the character that drew you to Ghost?

Well, apart from me having a thing for dark, big grumpy man who covers his identity with a mask, I think he's a very interesting character and leaves much room for fans to explore, specifically in the current rebooted version. Like how his character grows from disliking Soap/just working with others in general because they might hold him back, to finally understanding that he needs his teammates and showing himself to the teammates as the highest form of trust. There's just so much to add there; moments where he slowly opens himself up, where he finally allows other people to come in and know him (because of course the campaign is too short JAKSLSDKFJL). So yeah, the complexity of his character, and the wide room for exploration for character development.

What inspired you to decide to pair up Ghost with Jade and how did you come up with her character?

As I have answered in a few asks before, I just wanna give this man a BIG tight hug and give him a happy ending, and Jade is my manifestation of that. For a man who's literally closed himself to the world other than the moniker "Ghost", who is deemed as a legend and a myth, a soldier who's highly task-oriented, he would keep everyone he knows at arm's length. So I think in order for him to open up, he would need someone special who primarily understands him. Someone who knows what it feels like to be a living weapon and how heavy of a burden it is. Someone who gets him enough to alleviate his burdens and, for once, give him peace of mind. Like who the fuck in the world even knows what that feels like? Who can he share his burdens with? You got it : Jade. I'd like the thought of Jade being a paradox to Ghost, as she's been through a lot of trauma and darkness much like him, but she somehow managed to keep her 'light' - seen on how she treats people (and him), and how she's still as capable and as skillful as him to finish her job, and that's precisely how I want to insert her into the story. Ghost and Jade share that same aspect of working alone and the need to learn that they're not alone - that this person actually understands what the other has been through.

How long have you been an artist?

Hmmm.... if it's in the context of professionally (as in started making money and treating drawing as a serious passion instead of just a hobby), it's since I was 17 years old, so about 3 years. But if the question is more to the 'since when did I start drawing', I've been drawing since I was like 4 years old. It's all I've ever known, it's all I've ever done. So a long time.

Have you considered the possibility of actually writing a proper story about Ghost and Jade like one with a lot of chapters?

Y E S. (★‿★) I am currently writing a 12 parter (probably less, probably more ASKJJDFJASDF) of MWII Ghost x Jade series called "Cold Heart". I have all the outlines deep in my Google Docs! It's basically the MWII campaign story, but add Jade into it, and how she changes things up (and how she and Ghost started to grow close). I just need to write it. Though unfortunately only the prologue is posted (you can find it on my masterlist) as I'm still on my finals exam. But! After my finals are over, I'll immediately jump on the series and write it!

Hope that answers the question, and thank you for asking! (❁´◡`❁)

[x-ash22-x]

Instead of updating the post I already made, I’m going to make a new one in hopes of getting this circulating again!! (If you’re seeing this, and wanna help a broke non-binary b*tch out, please reblog!! Maybe even add more tags if I forgot any, thank you!!)

I have fanfiction commissions open currently!! Lemme tell ya a little bit about ‘em!!

I charge $1 per $100 words, and $10 per 1k words!!** I accept payment on PayPal only!! This is because the funds will go into my PayPal Wallet where they will remain for future use. (Any and all tips are appreciated, but not required!!)

**I have since instated a word count limit; about 3.5-4k is my absolute limit at the moment. I will update this if anything changes.

I use Google Docs for these commissions, and by default I will not post your commission anywhere. If you’d like me to post it somewhere like AO3, please let me know!! (Also, let me know if you’d like to be kept anonymous if so.)

I do fandom and non-fandom fics!! Canon x OC is completely okay in my book, so long as it falls in line with what is deemed acceptable (no minor x adult or shipping relatives please). Here’s some of the fandoms I’m most familiar with:

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

My Hero Academia

Demon Slayer **

Berserk

DOOM

Resident Evil

Genshin Impact

Undertale/Deltarune

Stardew Valley

Pokémon (anime series & games)

The Persona/Shin Megami Tensei series

Marvel **

Star Wars **

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic **

Steven Universe **

Rick & Morty **

Gravity Falls **

**I need a refresher on the lore of these, but I’m still willing to do fanfiction about them.

I can do SFW or NSFW commissions, with (almost) any kink/fetish you like!! A few of the big NO’s are piss, scat, diaper, inflation (excluding cumflation)/blueberry, hard vore, and DDLG. Anything else is on the table!! (I would suggest still asking in case I forgot one, thank you!!) Please include links to examples of your kink/fetish if I have expressed that I’m not into it/not familiar with it.

I WILL NOT do detailed scenes of r*pe, and absolutely no scenes portraying inc*st or p*doph*lia. Those three are big no-gos for me, and no amount of negotiation will get me to write about such things. (I also will not hesitate to block/report if I have reason to believe someone supports these things.)

I am most certainly willing to negotiate most of these terms, but please be reasonable with your requests. If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for your interest in my wares and services!!

To contact me, please DM here, on my Instagram (@x.ash_22.x), my Twitter (@x_ash22_x), or on my Discord, 🥀x.ash_22.x🥀#1977 !!