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#like im baby stepping here but
mercurialvixen · 5 months
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So I've spent the last near decade after my mom died just trying to cease to exist. My only friend is my dog and she is elderly and on her way out. I'm not particularly okay. Trying a momentum thing where I had the revelation, 'what if I just don't lay down and die'. Maybe this will help, maybe not.
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tubbytarchia · 3 months
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I just saw a few "beginner artist" animations and posts that had gained some traction and their comment sections actually made me pretty seethingly upset.
"Experienced" artists really just jump on "beginner" artists to tell them all the 2 to 5 to 50 things that they can do better. All under the guise of "I'm just tryna help" and coated with "you have potential!". Well I am also a fellow artist and that is so haughty and discouraging to me. Some artists need to get off their hyper realistic objectively superior anatomically correct high horses and give the goofy newbie ones some fucking room to breathe. Leave beginner artists alone, a tip or two is fine but they do not need 20 people correcting all their "mistakes" and giving tips and criticism where it was never asked for. I genuinely feel so bad for these beginning artists who put in effort to create something, and that's the foremost beauty of art, only to get jumped like prey by all these other artists who fail to appreciate the very core of what they claim to teach. If you do that, THEY DON'T NEED YOU to grow as artists, and that's assuming you even wanted to help and not just having a superiority complex
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moft-man · 1 year
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"And Stanley Was Happy."
needed to get back into drawing, so here's the boys getting better
(I needed something sweet and nice)
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aaaaaaand with that, I'm hopefully (HOPEFULLY) back from hiatus!! I'm back in my routine with school and work and am gonna try to work in some time to post!! thank u guys!!<333
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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jinxedshapeshifter · 7 months
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I've been listening to Loser, Baby from Hazbin Hotel on repeat despite having a minimal interest in Hazbin Hotel and tbh I think Loser, Baby might go in the "songs to listen to if you need cheering up" playlist lol.
It's just such a funny song but also the message isn't horrible. I love that it starts off sounding like Husk is just being a dick to Angel Dust for the sake of being a dick but no, he has a point to make (although I will say that it definitely feels like Husk is intentionally making it seem like he's being a dick to be a dick just to get a rise out of Angel, especially in the show lmao). So here are my takeaways from it:
Because I vaguely know what Husk is like in terms of his personality overall, I'm pretty confident in saying that he was intentionally trying to get a rise out of Angel to prove a point. Genuinely watching Angel slowly lose his mind as Husk bullies him is hilarious lmao
The entire song is basically Husk trying to get Angel to accept himself as he is and realize he's not alone, because Husk and Angel's flaws and trauma don't have to completely destroy them.
Disney underutilized Keith David in The Princess and The Frog
Husk says "But letting walls down, it can sometimes set you straight" and I think that's one of the biggest takeaways from Loser, Baby. Sometimes (usually. always) opening up is the first step to recovery.
The message of Loser, Baby is very much "You're not alone and you should feel more than free to embrace and own your flaws" and I love it. Loser, Baby doesn't suggest that being a loser is a bad thing, but something to embrace. Husk's goal isn't to put down Angel Dust, it's to get him to embrace a part of himself he's grown to hate and tell him that being damaged doesn't mean he should give into hopelessness (hell, he even accepts the parts of Angel that Angel himself hates with no hesitation), and especially in the context of the episode Loser, Baby appears in it's not a bad message.
i love these two and i love this song and i love how loser, baby promotes embracing aspects of yourself you hate
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palukoo · 1 day
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The Great Lie (1941)
#the great lie#the great lie 1941#bette davis#mary astor#old hollywood#my post#my gifs#okay so. i went back and forth on the order of these a lot but. please come with me see my vision!!#the point is. that she does understand!! bc she was kind of functioning as the father#(and yk. bc she and sandra are gay ofc.)#look at me shes getting in the way and waiting to hear that its over and theyre okay!!#so like. pete is like you can't possibly understand the affection and responsibility and like to an extent gratitude or something#that i feel for not just our child but also you specifically as the mother of my child.#and so like obvi the textual thing is maggies anxiety over the potential loss of that or it like transferring to sandra when pete finds out#BUT look if you open your eyes its also the all consuming weird feeling of like guilt and loss and longing because she knows it!!#she felt it for sandra!! and yeah so im also using the middle step of the doctor describing the behavior expected of a father and her#exhibiting it so completely!!! god this movie is sooooo me bait. and when i finish my fic of them!!!#things i specifically really wanted to capture here: bettes physicality in like little nervous/impatient ticks#so like her foot bouncing slightly where she's sitting or her bouncing back and forth a little against the column#also the abrupt ways she moves and pauses. i think thats kind of a bette thing in general but she does it a LOT as maggie#and i think its soooo good for like portraying instinct and hesitation (the other places you see it a lot i feel are in how she physically#approaches sandra at any point or extends physical comfort. its very good!!)#AND i also wanted to make sure i got her little glance to sandra when she goes to see her and the baby. okay thats all on my commentary.
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the-kipsabian · 11 months
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hewwo i havent drawn anything in like four months so heres a kip im actually pretty happy with hurray 🎉
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camels-pen · 11 months
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can't sleep so have vampire Usopp drabble with sanuso~
Just imagine Usopp showing up after exploring some island on his own, bloodied, limping, leaving streaks of blood all over the place
Sanji left on ship watching duty, is cooking in the kitchen, idly checking with Haki every once in a while to make sure no one unfamiliar shows up
He notices Usopp coming but is right in the middle of something- making food for lunch when everyone returns, but also hashing out food supplies he'll need to buy once it's his turn to leave the ship
So when Usopp shows up, Sanji's distracted, maybe looking at his list, and maybe there's something like this:
"San...ji." There was some odd dragging sound. "Blood."
"Blood?" Sanji looked up from his list and nearly jumped out of his skin. "What the hell happened?!" He jumped the railing to land in front of Usopp, hands uselessly fluttering about his bloodied and broken body. He had to be standing just through pure willpower alone.
"Hun...gry."
Food. Right, yes, Sanji could do food. He could take Usopp up to the infirmary and bring him a plate.
Sanji settled on putting his hands on Usopp's shoulders. His skin was freezing through his shirt. "I've already made heaps for lunch, but I need to patch you up first. Just tell me what you want and I'll bring it to the infirmary."
"Wa...nt."
"Yeah,"-Sanji nodded, starting to get more concerned with the slow responses-"anything you want, Usopp."
"Any... thing?"
"Anything."
With a strength and speed Sanji wasn't expecting, Usopp slammed both of Sanji's wrists against the wall.
"Blood."
Before Sanji could say anything, before he could even take another breath, Usopp surged down to his neck and bit him.
Sanji was about ready to kick him away, regardless of Usopp's current state, and fuming about being caught up in some stupid prank, when he felt the first suck.
"H-Hey Usopp, are you..." serious? Conscious? Under some weird devil fruit power? Sanji didnt know what to ask first.
He never got the chance to figure it out either, as a wave of pure, toe-curling pleasure washed through him. In his surprise, he didn't have time to tone down the full blown moan that slipped his lips.
Usopp continued sucking, though his grip on Sanji's wrists had slackened. His own pleased groans were loud as he drank, the noises right next to Sanji's ear and making it burn with a growing heat.
Whatever this was, Sanji needed to stop it. As a man who needed to defend his love of women, and only women, he couldn't get worked up just by some stupid-
Hun... gry. Usopp had said. Blood.
That- there's no way. Sanji was far past not believing in legends and myths, and his old man was never one to pull his leg on that kind of stuff.
But even Sanji had thought, or maybe hoped, that vampires weren't real.
And for it to be Usopp- Usopp of all people. Sanji knocked his head back against the wall, tears falling freely as his lip wobbled.
"Fuck, fuck!"
The sucking stopped.
Usopp pulled away just enough to look up at Sanji. The way his head was angled, Sanji could see horrific looking bite marks all along his neck, shoulders, under his jaw, down his collar, and disappearing under his shirt.
He had to pause a moment, imagining Usopp having stumbled into a coven's territory. Alone. Probably looking for cool bugs or something else inconsequential, unknowing that he would die within moments.
Sanji hoped it was quick, at least. He hoped this coven wasn't like the one in his books; the ones who would draw it out for as long as possible. Usopp had been gone only a few hours and he must've hobbled to the ship on his own, which could've taken a while, and-
And Usopp was still staring at him, silent, eyes blank, and lips stained red with blood. Sanji's blood.
It hadn't been long since breakfast, but being killed and having all of the blood sucked out of him would probably work up a big appetite.
And, well, Sanji would never let a crewmate go hungry.
So, he put one hand to the back of Usopp's hair- his hair, not his hat, free of it's usual ponytail and covered in leaves and dirt and blood- and guided him back to his neck. Usopp made a questioning noise.
Sanji closed his eyes, let a shaky smile show on his face. He brought his other hand up to press Usopp closer.
"I did say anything, didn't I?"
Usopp didn't respond. After a moment, Sanji felt him lick at the bite marks he left behind- pinpricks compared to the wounds littering his own dark skin- and then, carefully, fit his mouth into those same marks. Once again, he began to drink, this time at a much slower pace.
Regardless of the speed or the gentleness, Sanji still had to fight not to give away how much he was truly enjoying this.
(and then the crew shows up lmao)
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naenaex0xx · 5 months
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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paranormaljones · 1 year
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"I will feel a deep inner disgust for any pairing involving Lockwood and Lucy that isn't locklyle" I feel this on a deep spiritual level and agree twenty million percent.
One thing about me is that I need Locklyle and only Locklyle to be talked about ever because any other pairing involving either of them has me like this:
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lord-shitbox · 2 years
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I like how as the season goes on it's made more and more clear how Kirishima's shift from "demon" to "kind and reliable adult figure" isn't actually as unprecedented as some characters in the show feel it is. Like with him entertaining Yaeka when they were both younger, before Miyuki's accident, and how he went with Sugihara to apologize to the antique seller lady when theyd just met.....like I just. love how it shows he always had the seeds of kindness in him! even in his terrible youth! It's just that he's finally starting to grow them now
#the yakuza's guide to babysitting#kumichou musume to sewagakari#kirishima tooru#ygtb#YK..LIKE....ALSO. HE HAD MIYUKI AND AOI TO LOOK UP TO IN HIS YOUTH. AND NOW NEITHER OF THEM R REALLY THERE IN THE SAME WAY#theyre not Gone gone but he's stepped forward into those roles in their place (''brother'' for sugihara + caregiver for Yaeka)#yk....hes growing up...from being the one in a position to be cared for hes growing into being a kinder person that can care for others#from that state of such violence. yk.#I WAS GONNA POST SCREENSHOTS BUT THE SITE ISNT WORKING. NO VISUAL EVIDENCE SORRY.#from episodes 7 and 12. like he did not have to take sugihara in and did not have to go with him to apologize for stealing!#& how he played w baby yaeka...like! hes always been a kind person it just wasn't expressed much!!#put brother (2 sugihra) in quotes because you know how translation is. fucked up. literally translated it's brother but in like a sworn bro#kind of way. frat bro kind of way. idk i dont work here#+ not really sure how to explain why taking sugihara to apologize is so significant to me but im p sure it's a Thing. its a Gesture#could also be him demonstrating 2 the shopkeeper that the sakuragi family has her back. but still he couldve handled the situation in#many other &less kind ways. also the fact that he let sugihara apologize on his own instead of forcing him or like beating him up &dragging#him to the shopkeeper.#ill rewatch ygtb and take notes on kirisugi relationship ive got headcanons#aro krishima and bi sugihara homiebestieship agenda
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cosmic-ships · 4 months
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Jesus fuck these monsters work quick. I am now in the "I literally cannot leave the apartment or they will gather my stuff and donate it" portion of hell and I threatened to call the cops on them because I'm literally moving, I'm doing what they want. So apparently I'm not moving quick enough even though yaknow IT TAKES FUCKING TIME
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redrobin-detective · 2 years
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You know what’s something that we kind of lost since the first generation of sidekicks turned heroes are kids who grew up in the hero industry. Dick Grayson has been parading around the Justice League since he was a little kid. Those adults know him incredibly well, watched him grow up, are honorary aunts and uncles. The other gen one Teen Titans are to a lesser extent but many of them didn’t come onto the scene until they were teens.
Most of the batkids joined as young teens/adults and quickly integrated into the big leagues as equals but come on. I’ve always felt Jon just ~magically~ appearing at what? 11 years old was so boring. Its DC just fucking retcon him in. Yeah Lois had him a decade ago and he’s been here the whole time. He’s the sweet but slightly spoiled League baby which would be an interesting contrast to Dami coming in at 13 having only heard of but not grown up with his father.
I’m tired and not articulating well but so many of these kid/teen sidekicks kind of come in and jump right into superheroics and its like... part of the appeal of DC is the family aspect. I want to see more kids of heroes being present from day one and growing up in the League and not just, appearing when they’re suddenly old enough to put on a costume and fight. The whole idea of legacies only works if you put work into watching it grow.
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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 24 days
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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall
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kimmkitsuragi · 1 month
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i will be in a different country in one week and im sick (i got better!! but then i got worse again 💀) and i have millions of things to do everyday this week + so many trips/events already planned and paid the next week... this is seriously the weirdest week of my life
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its so painfully obvious that a lot of these people have genuinely never experienced a better piece of media. it makes me sad fr. like. guy who has only ever seen the dream smp "getting a lot of dream smp vibes from this" im begging you to please go watch a horror movie from the 80s. go read a goosebumps book or a creepypasta for gods sake .
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