#like its one thing to imagine what could have been of he debuted with them and another to say this

[katszumi]

bakugou hated defeat. he was never one to forfeit anything. if he could challenge the ocean to a battle, he would and sincerely believe he’d win.

once, he admits defeat to the universe and chooses to let you slip through his fingers.

when he began to fall in love with your sweet manner, delicate touch, warm smile and witty behavior, he also began to hate himself.

he hated the way he was when it came to feelings. he knew he wasn’t able to express his emotions like a good boyfriend should. he was intolerable, insufferable. something that couldn’t have mixed with you.

love was a foreign concept to him, something he couldn’t grasp but something he desperately wished for deep down, no matter how many times he brushed it off or ridiculed the idea.

bakugou knew love wasn’t designed for him, and he wasn’t ever going to let his silly imagination deceive him otherwise.

but, he knows his heart never stands a chance. especially tonight when he finds you on the terrace of ua. the night-sky wrapped the area in its darkness, the crescent moon illuminating the brightest color it could, and the silent night bringing the greatest solitude it could.

bakugou attempts to leave you be, but your eyes find him faster than he originally thought, him being pulled into your magnetic, overwhelming aura.

“hey,” he begins, a slight waver in his voice from his nerves. “not enjoyin’ the party inside?”

you chuckle slightly, waving his question off. “just needed some air.”

bakugou nods in response. he folded his arms over the railing, taking in the scenery around them.

it was the last night for the third years at ua, everyone celebrating their triumphs, losses, friendships. it was the last time they’d be within this building all together, the last time bakugou could silently admire you from afar. he’d always think about his last day there, wondering if he’d be shouting from excitement. he wasn’t close to thinking that he’d feel like his whole world was coming down.

you were planning to travel to the united states to start your hero debut, receiving an offer there that you just couldn’t pass up. he remembered the moment when you told him so vividly. you wore a huge smile, basically jumping out of excitement. that was the first time bakugou came to the realization that he couldn’t have you.

truth be told, he was scared of breaking paths with you. anger, sorrow, fear. you shone a light on all of those emotions. it felt like his anchor was gone. breaking every stable piece off of him one by one.

“so, what’s next for you? don’t think you ever told me your plan.”

in his head, bakugou replies with, that was on purpose. he wanted to remove everything from his mind. go with the flow and live in the moment until it was officially time to get started on his new path of life. but, he figured there was no more time to put it off.

“stay in the city for a bit. kirishima talked about collaboratin’ on an agency, so been givin’ that some consideration.” he replies somberly. “i don’t know really, just gotta find something to keep me busy.”

you echoed bakugou’s action from earlier, nodding to his statement. a small sigh parted your lips, partly from exhaustion, but also from sadness.

“you scared?” it came out as a whisper, as if it was a taboo subject to never touch on, and frankly it was when it came to bakugou.

he waited to respond, pausing for as long as he could before the silence turned uncomfortable.

“yeah.” something so simple but spoke so much considering bakugou would never admit such a thing. “you’ll be okay though. you got an offer some of us wish we could have, and i heard the states has good job opportunities.”

“i don’t wanna go.” first it came out as a mumble, bakugou unsure if he just understood the words that came out of your mouth.

“what?”

“i don’t want to go.” this time, your voice was much more stern.

“the fuck you talkin’ about? you’ve been excited for this shit the day you got the letter, now you don’t wanna go? as if.” he was aware that he came off a little too defensive, mostly to shield his heart from catching a little bit of hope, he didn’t mean to come at you so harshly.

you peeled your eyes away from him, purposely avoiding his eye contact. looking at him seemed more like receiving a scolding from a parent more than anything right now.

“i mean, the united states? i’ll be there alone, no family, no friends. it’s not the money or opportunities i’m concerned about, bakugou. it’s about my happiness.” you explained. “isn’t that something you’re thinking about too?”

bakugou weighs his options. he thinks he has nothing else to lose, but he also considers the fact of you breaking his heart even more than it is. besides, you were smart, he knew you were going to take the offer anyway no matter how bad your nerves were eating you up.

“you can’t think with your heart about things like this, y/n.” he knows he’s an asshole. he knows you’re looking to him for the reassurance you want to hear but he just can’t give it.

“i’m not! i just want to be happy doing the things i love and that’s not possible in an environment i cant stand to be in.”

“you don’t know that yet.”

“i’m getting a pretty good feeling.”

“because you’re scared.”

you shrug, “so what? you don’t know how i feel. you’ll be here with your mom, dad, and all of your friends. i’ll have to start over from scratch in a country i know nothing about.”

he scoffed, his eyes darting away from your figure. “right because you know exactly how i feel.” his tone bled with sarcasm.

“you don’t tell me how you feel for anything, so sorry for taking an educated guess.” you retorted.

“you never ask to begin with.”

“as if you’d even tell me. you think i haven’t noticed you avoiding me these past couple of weeks? you don’t even talk to me anymore.”

now the roles reversed, you stared at him, bakugou not daring to look into your eye.

he shifted in his position, beginning to become uncomfortable. he replayed in his mind what he should’ve done moments ago instead of coming to speak to you.

“nothing to say?” you were playing with fire, not caring that you were poking the bear. “guess that’s not anything new. you just do whatever you want, say whatever you wish without thinking of the other person, because you’re ‘katsuki bakugou’. the man who cares about none other than the title of being the number one hero.”

“that’s not fuckin’ true and you know it.” he snaps his head towards you.

“do i?” your eyes searched his. “maybe a few months ago i would’ve, but you’ve been treating me like an outcast recently. i thought i mattered to you! i thought we were something!”

“what do you want me to say here?”

“i want you to be honest.”

bakugou clenched his teeth, his jaw sharpening from the action. of course he wanted to be with you, there was no other girl that he could imagine being with. but it just couldn’t work. you weren’t made to be with a monster, and he didn’t deserve to enjoy something so sweet as you.

so, bakugou opted to refuse the truth once again, brushing her off.

“you’re just too good for me.” he simply replies. “don’t waste your potential here. go to america.”

bakugou takes no more time to indulge in your erratic behavior, so he leaves you at the terrace, the noise of the party being heard the moment he opened the side door.

he wanted you more than anything. if the universe loved him a little more, then maybe things between you two would work out. but because of his shitty luck and vexatious attitude, you two just didn’t match.

he also knew there was just someone you were bound to fall in love with in america.

bakugou wasn’t going to lead you on to make a stupid decision. even if that meant destroying himself in the process.

the morning after, your name wasn’t to be found on any of his socials, and his messages to you turned green. if he didn’t know before, then he definitely knew now that he burned anything he had with you.

pt two

[voltronisanobsession]

Reader learning the hard way about Canon Events

Teen!spider reader idea!! A random, passing thought I had a few days ago I wanted to to write about😍

I also wanna say that I’ve been trying to write the pt. 2 for ‘Miguel codes Lyla a friend’ but my brain has just been EMPTY TRYING TO COME UP WITH IDEAS FOR IT💔💔 I have some stuff down but it just doesn’t feel right? I swear it’s a work in progress guys, it’ll come soon🙏💔💔💔

Ok so I was just thinking about if reader was apart of the spider society, making their incredible debut amongst the other spiders. Of course they had yet to go through their canon event of losing the captain they’re close to, and they don’t even know it’s a canon event yet!

Like I think knowing about canon events is the first thing new spider people are told by Miguel when first joint the society, but reader fully believes that they’ve already gone through with it after losing their uncle all that time ago. And Miguel can’t tell them that it’s not it or else you know, reader is gonna try and disrupt their canon event from happening if they know

So imagine reader is just chilling in their universe when boom, villain attack! It’s like super catastrophic, it gets to the point where they’re calling for back up from the spider society and Miguel already knows what going to happen.

He warns every spider that leaves for the mission to not. Disrupt. The canon. It may be hard to watch reader go through this, but he makes it extremely known that it needs to happen. And so that’s exactly what happens.

The other spiders, like Gwen and Peter b. (my favs😍), help reader save civilians from crashing buildings and crumbling roads. Finally at last does readers canon event happens.

With the other spiders occupied with their own stuff, readers forced to chose between saving a large group of civilians or the captain they love with all their heart. Just as they’re about dive into the situation, Miguel would yell to them as he’s kicking debris away from the spiders.

“You have to chose one y/n!”

And you being the young, ambitious teen, the only words the come out of your mouth are, “I can do both!”

To make a long story short, you indeed could not do both😭😭 Who knew webbing up and trying to hold a crumbling building with people inside would be a much tougher task while trying to stop debris from falling on the captain, who lay injured on the ground.

Everyone is too busy with the catastrophe to help you, and it finally comes to the point. Arms in pain from holding up a literal building while at the same time trying to stop debris from falling on your captain began taking its toll. Tears well up in your eyes, muscles straining with every passing second. Looking to the civilians trapped in the destroyed building and looking down to where the cop lay in pain as more rocks came crashing down on them.

“I can do both…” voice cracking, tears fall as you feel your arms slowly losing strength, the building slipping from your grasp. A soft sob comes out as you look down to the cop, a sympathetic look on their face as they watch you struggle between saving them or saving the people right in front of you.

“Let go! Save them! Please!”

You look down again in pain at the captains words, a sharp cry coming out as you see them mouth ‘it’s ok’, finally making the difficult decision to save the people from the building.

It happened so fast, from webbing into the building and gathering everyone, to the crashing of the building to the ground. As you put down the last woman you immediately would run to the rubble and begin digging frantically, cries and sobs escaping your mouth.

“No, no, no, NO! PLEASE NO!”

It’s only when you feel a hand on your shoulder tugging you away from pile of rubble that you snap out of it. Heaving, you throw yourself on the body and just. Cry. You bawl your eyes out on whoever was near you cuz bro. Reader at this time needs someone to comfort them. Big time.

Miguel (y’all already saw this coming) could only stand in surprise as you latch onto his body and let everything out. He would slowly caress readers head in a soothing matter, muttering that there’s was nothing they could’ve done.

Yup, a terrible way to lose a person so dear to you as a teen💔 after that, reader wouldn’t be the same. Having to make such a decision would definitely dampen their fighting spirit.

Which is why I think they would be super sympathetic towards Miles when he finally arrives. And I also think they would see a piece of themselves in him when he says that he can do both, that he can save everyone around him, even those he loves, his father.

UGH I CAN IMAGINE MILES BEING THE REASON WHY READER FINDS A NEW ENERGY AND SPIRIT TO FIGHT!!!! Like he’s so confident in himself and doesn’t just ACCEPT the fate he’s told he’ll have to face and that just ignites something in them.

They couldn’t save the person they loved, so they’ll help miles save his father from his ill fate. With this decision, you would ultimately leave the safety of the Spider society and join the gang when it comes to saving and helping Miles.

[aardvaark]

only murders in the building s3e8 spoilers ahead!

this is the best photo i could get of the strips of paper that have been pieced together so far. all we can see is:

"02/16/2023

mmence on

sion, and

until and

(line gap)

society,

performing

composer

however,

right to

where it"

now that’s… fairly vague, lol. not too much to be gathered, except that it relates to the play itself - words like "performing" and "composer" seem to show that. in other words, it’s probably not the autopsy report or someone’s diary. the first unfinished word is probably "commence". this makes it sound formal. again, unlikely to be a diary or a letter to a close friend or something.

so what could it be? personally, my current standing theory is that it’s Maxine’s review. i have a few reasons for this:

we know that Maxine has written a review. yes, she was originally writing by hand and her pen ran out of ink, but she mentions in episode 2 that it was some of her best writing which sounds like she had finished it later, plus it’s her job to write these reviews, im sure she must have finished it. and so there exists a "vitriolic" absolute pan of the play somewhere. one that we’ve never seen and which Maxine didn’t show to Oliver. maybe we can’t see it because it’s been shredded.

the language, from the small bits we can see, would make sense for a review. first she states when the play "commences" for its opening night. then she reviews the various elements of the play, such as the "performing" and notes things like who the "composer" is and whether they did a good job. the word "however" makes me think that the writer is giving some sort of a negative opinion there. which, you know, is what the review is.

Maxine is a character we were introduced to in the second episode but really haven’t explored. i don’t necessarily think she is the murderer; in fact, i can’t even think of a motive she’d have. but, i think they introduced her for a reason.

a scathing review could absolutely generate anger or violence in someone. imagine you’ve put your heart and soul into your performance or crew role for months, only to get insulted and for the show to be an utter failure. it could mean the end of your career or the loss of a lot of money.

but even if it is Maxine’s review, and even if someone was upset by it, why would that lead to Ben’s death? i do have a theory for that. it might not be the correct one, but it’s my best shot at the moment:

Cliff and Donna (the mother and son producer people) have repeatedly expressed that this play is high stakes for them. it’s Cliff’s producing debut and they need it to be perfect. the problem is, the show was far from perfect - something that they may have already realised to an extent, but which that pan confirmed. plus, a terrible review by a famous reviewer would lose them money and reputation. if one or both of them got their hands on Maxine’s review, it makes sense that they’d destroy it and want to put an end to the show in a way that can’t be blamed on them. an accidental death on stage - with the autopsy report altered to day there wasn’t any poison, and we know it was altered cause it was negative for meth - would solve their problem, as well as draw them a lot of press attention (any publicity is good publicity), and finally, would prevent the review from ever being published because no one would publish a scathing review of a recently deceased young man’s performance. i can imagine that the producers would have access to and knowledge about the set and theatre, which would allow for the spooky ghost stuff that seemed like more than a coincidence in "Ghost Light". they’d also have access to Ben’s room to plant the poison cookies (because c’mon, he was clearly talking to a plate of cookies in the dressing room video).

additionally, Donna’s speech to Loretta in the bathroom makes me suspect her more. and Loretta’s song, while clearly more about sacrificing herself for her own son in that moment, could double as meaning that Donna would kill for Cliff’s sake to protect his reputation in the industry. and as Loretta says, poisoning as a murder method tends to point to a woman murderer - this is actually true according to data on homicides. Donna is a woman, she would do anything for her son, the review would ruin his reputation in her mind, she poisons Ben to end the play.

then there’s Ben’s apologies in episode 1. to Cliff… well, he forgets Cliff’s name for one thing, and then he basically just says he’s sorry for being so annoying to them and complaining about his dressing room. then he continues to complain about his dressing room before moving on.

while Donna may have done the first murder, i don’t think she did the second. perhaps it was Cliff, pissed at his non-apology and wishing the man was dead for real. perhaps it was someone else entirely (probably a man since they haven’t had a male murderer so far and have even pointed that out).

but again, this is still a very loose theory based solely on the possibility that that document is the review. what else do y’all think it could be? or what else could have happened if it is indeed the review?

[angellayercake]

He is

Vampire Terzo x FReader | NSFW

Art by the wonderful @tasty-ribz

For @ghostchems on her birthday! To be a little bit soppy as much as I love ghost for being ghost it has also brought me some incredible friends. We bonded over loving terzo and love island and now you are my favourite person to scream about awful men with every day. I hope everyone is making you feel a special as Terzo would today because as far as we are concerned yours is the only important birthday happening this month 💜

Now a best selling author thanks to your experience at Crowley Manor you find yourself struggling to muster up inspiration for the sequel. Will returning to the place it all began help you? Or just confirm the none of it was real? A sequel to Cirice Warnings: blood, rough sex, hints of mind control, pinv sex, cunnilingus, lots of dust hehe

With a huff of frustration you scratch out the poor excuse for a sentence and drop your pen. There were more scribbles across the page then there were words and you needed a break or you might end up throwing your note pad across the room. Abandoning your desk you wander over to the window for a distraction from your writer's block. The evening was drawing in, street lights flickering on one by one as people hurried home from their day whether it be work or leisure it was still an unwelcome reminder of your lack of productivity. Turning from the view you scan across the room, your home office, hoping for something to spark your inspiration but your mind remains unhelpfully blank. You ponder just giving up for the day, shutting the door and giving yourself over to your evening but deadlines are approaching and there is still so much to do. With a reluctant determination, you turn to your inspiration board and will it to do its job. 

When you had decided to write a follow up to your best selling debut novel, you had carefully gathered all the things you knew you would need to refer to to build the story. There were your photographs from Crowley Manor, newspaper clippings about the house and the area, quotes and key plot points from the original story,  a couple of photos of bela lugosi, the closest you can find to how you remember him looking - although you have sketched what you recall of the facepaint he wore over the top with a marker - and in the centre, the note; the only thing you have that proves that it was real. Well, that and the two small scars on your neck. You rub your fingers over them absentmindedly as you try to remember anything more but even as the scars faded, so did your memories to the point where you are not entirely sure any of it was real. Reading over the words again. 

 A candle casting a faint glow

You and I see eye to eye

Can you hear the thunder?

How can you hear the thunder that's breaking?

Now there is nothing between us

From now our merge is eternal

Can't you see that you're lost?

Can't you see that you're lost without me?

-iii

You hum the tune to yourself, the melody you had only heard once and yet it plays through your dreams so frequently you have never been able to forget it, always accompanied by a dark shadow and the sense that you are being watched. Your experience at Crowley Manor - whether a true encounter with a dashing vampire or a figment of your imagination - had changed your life. You were a writer now; a successful published writer. Your vampire romance novel had been an instant best seller, ‘the mysterious vampire luring in unsuspecting victims until one stole his heart’ earned a loyal fanbase and quickly. In interview after interview you were asked if you had based him on someone real, probably assuming he was an older man you had a crush on, but you always answered no because how could you explain that he was a man you had most likely conjured up in a dream. 

But that had all brought you to where you were now; attempting to write the much anticipated sequel. The heroine of your story had left the manor in a similar way to you but after having spent much longer with her vampire lover, and as much as you wanted to see them reunited you were struggling to find the narrative. Unlike you she had been offered forever with him and had chosen to return to her normal life, so without a justified reason, why would she return? Your thought process hits a brick wall once again as you rub your tired eyes. There is only one thing left to try before you may be forced to give up. The familiar pull in your gut that you had been resisting since the day you left was finally winning. You had to go back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gate is rusted and stiff, so you have to push hard to create enough space for you to slip through and even then you almost trip on the piles of rubbish littering the driveway. You step over the buckled historical society sign with a sigh - even they had given up on the place and for some time by the looks of things. Tall weeds were growing through the now sparse gravel, even more windows had been boarded up and there were layers of faded graffiti covering the front door. It is already ajar but you have to shove it open, pushing it past the built up leaves and dust trying to wedge it closed. Although the state of the outside had saddened you, it is the interior that makes your heart sink -  it was never nice to see a beautiful old house fall into ruin.

The floorboards still gave their familiar creak under your soft footsteps, but that was about the only similarity. The sconces, once filled with dripping candles were now empty and shrouded in cobwebs, and dust motes thick enough to choke you floated in what little beams of light that made it through the windows. Without the soft piano luring you further into the house you took your time to properly look around, cautiously walking through room after room. What little furniture that hadn’t been stolen or vandalised was covered in dust sheets. The shelving sits almost empty in every room; you pass only a few odd books and trinkets still in place but almost unrecognisable underneath all the grime. 

Towards the back of the house you come to what looks like a music room and a feeling of deja vu washes over you. The grand piano still dominates the room, but when you run your fingers across what little keys are left it only lets out reluctant, discordant notes as neglected and decaying as the rest of your surroundings. The fireplace is a yawning chasm on the back wall without the welcoming fire filling it, but you remember laying on the soft rug before it where he had given and taken unimaginable pleasure from you, well at least you thought. Because it was seeming more and more likely you had imagined it. You pull yourself from your thoughts and that is when the portrait catches your eye. How you never noticed it before you don’t understand, but it hangs perfectly above the mantel and crushes the last shreds of hope you were clinging onto. 

It is him. His distinctive face paint, his perfectly styled hair and his intense mismatched eyes. At least now you know what really happened on your last visit to this place. Before you had fallen asleep you must have seen this portrait on your last visit, striking as he was and then your mind had concocted the whole fantasy. You are not sure exactly what you had been expecting returning to Crowley Manor, but you couldn’t avoid the cutting disappointment that was slicing through you. All that was here was an empty old house and a painting of a man. With one last longing look you take your leave as you fight the knot of feelings solidifying in your chest. There was nothing else for you here. You reach the foyer where the light of dusk shines around the edges of the open door, illuminating your exit from this house and your return to reality, when you hear it… 

We're standing here by the abyss…

That voice. The words were different and even the tune was different, but that voice. There was nothing else it could be but him. The alluring sound drifts down from the upper floor to where you stand and you don’t even try to resist his siren call as your feet carry you towards the grand staircase.

And the world is in flames…

Your footprints disturb the thick layers of dust covering the once grand carpet that leads the way up, but you continue unconcerned by the trail you are leaving in your wake, your only thought finding your way to the source of that beautiful sound. 

Two star-crossed lovers reaching out…

It gets clearer as you reach the upper level, but you still haven't quite found him yet. Along the landing are multiple doors that you consider as you walk, but once your eyes land on the ornate double doors at the furthest end you know inherently; that is your destination.

To the beast with many names…

The floorboards creak as you get closer and closer even as you attempt to keep your steps measured and even, but if that didn’t give you away then you are sure your laboured breathing and thundering heartbeat would. 

He is. He's the shining and the light without whom I cannot see…

The singing stops when you reach the doors and with barely a brush of your fingertips,they swing open revealing only a dark room within. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the gloom, but even that doesn’t make you hesitate to enter. It is as abandoned as the rest of this cursed house. All the anticipation you had felt soured inside you and tears pricked at your eyes as you circled in the centre of the room taking in the dusty bed and empty fireplace. Your back is turned when a sudden bang startles you, the doors slamming shut. You cry out in fear, turning in an instant and rushing towards them. Pushing and pulling is futile and they will not budge. The knowledge that you are trapped fills you with a shiver as a chill falls over the room.   

“My little lamb returns,” he growls in your ear, appearing as if from nowhere. His arms box you in against the door, his white gloves the only part of him you can see. You try to turn, to see him but his body presses close, cold and unyielding as stone behind you. You should do something, anything but fear and lust paralyse you as they tear through you in equal measure.

“You are real,” you barely whisper before his fangs sink into your neck, the sharp shock of pain stealing your consciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When your eyes flutter open you find it hard to believe you are even in the same room. You are lying in the centre of a four poster bed, propped up against a mountain of airy pillows and as you shift the sheets feel unbelievably soft against your fingers. The heavy drapes are tied to the frame on one side giving you a clear view of the fireplace and the figure silhouetted against it. His back is to you, seemingly unaware that you are now awake so you take your time admiring him.

It is undoubtedly him. His hair is slicked back, familiar in both your memory and in his portrait you had not long discovered. This time he wears a white suit with gold trim that glimmers in the firelight and it is certainly one you have never seen before. He turns in your direction giving you a glimpse of his striking profile still covered in his unusual skull-like face paint. He clears his throat glancing at you and you realise he is also holding a book up to the fire light. Not just any book. That is your book. The one you had written about him. You sit bolt upright but a wave of dizziness stops you from acting any further. 

“His touch feels like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. It scares you how much you crave it; how much you want him to keep touching you and to never stop. Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest, despite the overwhelming feeling of comfort that has fallen over you.” He smirks as he reads your words back to you with an arrogance that can only come from knowing it was written about him. 

“How did you get that?” you hiss at him, the mortification you are experiencing seems to break some of the spell he has over you. He chuckles darkly in response, snapping the book shut and placing it on the nightstand so you can see the very suggestive illustration you had commissioned for the cover clearly.

“You have a way with words, agnellino.” He leans against the bedpost, running his eyes over you and watching how you react just to his presence. “Do you still crave my touch as much as you wrote?” His elongated teeth peek out of his mouth with how wide his smile is, clearly enjoying having this additional power over you. You almost miss not so long ago when you believed he had been a figment of your imagination. 

“It’s called creative licence,” you snap back breathlessly, trying your damnedest to keep your composure but you make the mistake of meeting his mismatched eyes and you are pulled under all over again. It’s like he can worm his way into your very soul and convince you of anything he desires.

“Why did you come back?” He looms over you at the end of the bed as he waits for you to answer him. As subtly as you can, you try to sit yourself up to make yourself feel less vulnerable but your limbs are weak and uncooperative.

“I’m writing again,” you start. It is the truth - or at least part of the truth - but you can tell he doesn't believe you, fixing you with his intense stare, waiting for you to be more forthcoming. “Last time I was here it was very… inspiring.”

“I see, I see.” He starts to pace next to the bed, giving you a reprieve and a chance to breathe but you sense it is by no means the end of your interrogation.  “Just ‘professional interest’ then?”

“Yes, that is all. I should go.” You try again to sit up and ease yourself off the bed but before your feet can touch the ground he kneels in front of you, blocking you from moving any further.

“Ah ah ah,” he scolds, wagging his finger at you like he was disciplining a wayward child. “You come into my home uninvited - again, I might add.” He leans close enough you can feel the cold radiating from him, his teeth bared threateningly. “I need the truth.” Fear makes you tense but somehow you know he would never really hurt you - at least not in a way you wouldn't enjoy. You start to think his irritation is more directed at your refusal to admit how much you want him rather than the fact you broke into his house. Again. 

“You lured me up here! You could have just let me leave.” That thought boosts your confidence just enough to push back. Just a little. He didn't have to reveal himself to you everytime you were here, and yet he did.

“No I couldn't, little lamb,” he whispers, a softness falling over his face. “I could never resist a chance to taste you again.” His attention drops to your feet, helping you out of your shoes before he stands again before you. “Tell me why you are really here.”  He had given you your chance to tell him of your own volition, but now you could feel his will influencing you and bringing forth the truth. He eases his jacket from his shoulders, leaving it on the floor where it falls. He makes quick work of his bow tie adding it to the pile of clothes at his feet. 

His cuff links go next, freeing him to turn up his sleeves and then his collar sliding one button free at a time until it hangs open. His toned chest is covered in thick dark hair and it's all you can do not to reach out and bury your fingers in it. Even without his vampiric lure, you would struggle to resist him. He crawls over you, forcing you to scoot back onto the bed to make room for him and you find yourself unable to speak as you get lost in his eyes.

“Tell me…” He is intoxicating and you find you no longer have the willpower to resist him. You had forgotten how powerful he was, his presence alone narrowing your mind until all you can think of is him. The words are on the tip of your tongue, but somehow they still won't come. 

“Why are you here agnellino, eh?” He holds himself over you, the only thing touching you are the open tails of his shirt, denying you any more until you obey him. “Did you miss me?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were real any more,” you admit reluctantly and his eyes alight at your delayed admission.

“Shall I remind you how real I am?” There is a voice in your mind somewhere telling you to say no, but with every other part of you screaming a resounding yes it is easy to tune out - though you still can’t quite bring yourself to say it. So you nod and he wastes no more time. His dexterous fingers make quick work of your trousers and your underwear, pulling them off you in one swift motion and then he is on you. His strong hand grasps your ankle, pulling you even closer so he can press his lips to your bare skin. 

He starts at the sole of your foot, lavishing you with open mouthed kisses and grazes of his dangerous teeth. He seeks out parts of your body you had never even known were sensitive before, whether it was his plush mouth sucking at them or tracing them with his tongue. The curve of your calf, the dip behind your knee and the crease of your inner thigh. His cool breath raises goosebumps across your skin and he chases them with his mouth, only pausing to suck on the beads of blood that bloom where he allows his fangs to nick your skin. The contrasts make you needy for more of his touch, the warm and the cold, the pleasure and the pain. When he eventually reaches your core he ceases all his teasing and devours you, his groans of pleasure vibrating through you as he laps at your entrance and sucks on your clit. 

“Every part of you tastes exquisite,” he moans again at your skin as he pulls at the hem of your shirt, allowing himself access to even more of your skin. Your bra is pulled roughly aside so he can latch onto your nipples one after the other. Losing himself in his lust, he pinches them roughly as his teeth make deliberate shallow slices in your cleavage. He suckles at them harshly, milking all the blood he can from such a surface cut. 

Eventually he reaches your neck pressing a deceptively gentle kiss to your scar from your last encounter before seeking out the fresher puncture wounds from earlier in the evening. He probes them harshly with his tongue disturbing the newly formed clots enabling him to drink freely from you until he is positively drunk on you. 

“You are so warm agnellino,” he moans, reluctantly pulling away from you only to tear off his loose shirt and rip off his trousers. He fits himself back on top of you, desperate to be as close as possible and ruts his aching length against your hip, his mouth latching back onto your neck. He rears back giving you the opportunity to see him for the hunger ridden monster he is, but it only makes you want him more. His face paint is smudged across his face, the once precise lines blurring and blending with what remains of your blood and your juices, and his eyes sparkle with something dangerous that you can't resist. With a snarl he forces your legs wide so he can see all of you, his fingers digging a bruising grip into your soft thighs.

“After tonight you will never again doubt my existence,” he growls as he fucks into you in one long, hard stroke. There is no waiting for you to grow accustomed to him filling you; he just takes you hard, pushing the air from your lungs every time he fills you. He is rough and demanding and you crave every part of this more animalistic side to him. Your blood loss and his body worship have pushed you outside your own body, the pleasure and the pain meeting and blending and pushing you into a euphoria you had never experienced before. 

Even as his control was slipping even further away, his cock aimed perfectly, fucking into you in exactly the right place over and over while the drag of him inside your tight heat forced sobs and gasps from both of you. In the state he had you, you knew you would do anything and everything he wanted and if you hadn’t been so light headed, you might have realised that that was exactly what he wanted. He grunts as he pulls you closer, angling your hips just so that he can fuck into you even deeper, your moans of satisfaction harmonising as somehow your pleasure grows stronger than you ever thought possible. 

“Has anyone fucked you like this since me, little lamb?” He is panting, hardly able to get his words out, somehow seeming more human even in the midst of his monstrous lust. 

“No,” you whine. There is no use denying it, because who could possibly compare to him?

“Bene,” he snarls, a possessive sneer crossing his face. “No one will ever, ever fuck you like me.’ You sob in agreement as the burn in your core grows, bringing you so close. Babbled nonsense falls from your lips. You can only hope he understands how little you need to push you over the edge. 

Thankfully something you said must have made sense, because in the next moment his thumb is stroking your clit in time with his ever more frantic thrusts and the wave of your climax begins to crash, sweeping you along in its powerful tide. Your vision greys at the edges and vaguely, somewhere amidst the buzz, you feel him reach his peak just behind you as his thrusts stutter before stilling as he fills you.

Inelegantly he pulls away, landing beside you on the bed. He pulls you to him stroking your hair and dotting your forehead with sweet kisses. Contentment surges through you as you rest against his chest, his lack of heartbeat barely registering. 

“You are so very sleepy, little lamb,” he breathes into your hair, and you can only spare a thought to agree as you succumb to the overwhelming pull of sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cold and stale morning air lures you from your sleep this time, a much less pleasant awakening than your last. Your whole body aches as you shift and try to take in your surroundings. You are alone. The dawn light spilling through the drapes allows you to see, and the bedroom appears dusty and abandoned, not the cosy boudoir you had experienced last night. 

The dusty sheets cling to your clothes as you try to stand but every movement reveals a new bite mark or bruise until you are on your feet. The worst pain though, is the ache in your heart. This should have been expected and yet the fact that he isn't here hurts. Rather than satisfying you, this second encounter only made you yearn more for this terrible, mysterious man. Your only consolation was that now at least, you will have plenty more to write about. 

You don't try to call out to him, already knowing how futile that would be, so you look once more around the room, trying hard to commit it all to memory when the night stand catches your attention. A single white rose sits atop a folded piece of paper. You pick them both up, carefully making sure to avoid the sharp thorns and unfold the paper to see that unmistakable handwriting. 

We’re standing here by the abyss

And the world is in flames

Two star-crossed lovers reaching out

To the beast with many names 

He is

He’s the shining and the light without whom I cannot see

-iii

His words were cryptic as ever but you let it fill you with uncertain hope. Maybe you were the star-crossed lovers? Or maybe not. All you knew for now at least, was that you felt you were still at the very beginning of this story…

…and you couldn't wait to see where it would take you. 

[ezziefae]

Thoughts while reading The Prisoners Throne Excerpt

Here's a rushed annotation of some parts of the excerpt that really drew my attention. Jurdan fans be ready for many surprises.

"Imagine you have a weapon. They had been in Vivi’s second apartment, standing on a small metal balcony. Inside, Taryn and Vivi had been fussing over Leander, who was learning to crawl. The Ghost had asked about Oak’s training and been uninterested in the excuse that he was eleven, had to go to school, and couldn’t be swinging around a longsword in the common space of the lawn without neighbors getting worried."

(this is a flashback) Taryn’s child makes their first debut!! Taryn named the boy Leander. (I’m assuming its a boy name) Since the Ghost is in Vivi’s apartments could that be a hint that he’s romantically involved with Taryn? Or it could also be that he’s accompanied Taryn to protect her. It's super cool to see The Ghost and Oak training together.

"Oak had actually liked making his own sword. It was huge and black with a bright red hilt covered in demonish faces. It looked like the sword of someone in an anime he’d been watching, and he felt like a badass, holding it in his hands. The sight of Oak’s blade had made the Ghost smile, but he didn’t laugh. Instead, he started moving through a series of exercises, urging Oak to follow. He told the prince should call him by his non‑spy name, Garrett, since they were friends."

Love that Holly is still referencing anime in the Elfhame series. Can we also talk about The Ghost’s character development? In TFOTA series he always kept to himself, and now he’s letting his closest friends call him by his real name.

"The prince has been imprisoned three weeks, according to the tallies he’s made in the dust beneath the lone bench. Long enough to dwell on every mistake he has made on his ill‑fated quest."

THREE WEEKS??? What the heck have Jude and Cardan been doing for three weeks??? I honestly expected for him to be rescued asap. If anything Jude and Cardan have been carefully planning to save oak and I guess that takes a lot of time. 

"His family must be in a panic right now. He trusts that Tiernan got Madoc to Elfhame safely, no matter what the redcap general wanted. But Jude would be furious with Tiernan for leaving Oak behind and even angrier with Madoc, if she guesses just how much of this is his fault."

I really want to see someone from Elfhame’s POV on Jude finding out on Oak being taken prisoner by Wren. I want to see a raging Jude. I’d be terrified to be in Tiernan’s place, since it was his job to protect Oak, and he failed that.

"Possibly Cardan would be relieved to be rid of Oak, but that wouldn’t stop Jude from making a plan to get him back. Jude has been ruthless on Oak’s behalf before, but this is the first time it’s scared him. Wren is dangerous. She is not someone to cross. Neither of them are."

OHH??? OHHH???? So many things are thrown at us here. Oak has a reason to believe that Cardan doesn’t like him??? To the point where Oak believes Cardan would even be RELIEVED to get rid of him? That was SUPER unexpected. Oak finally takes it in that neither Wren or Jude are people to cross. As much as I hate saying this, I want a Jude and Wren fight. That would be amazing. Not saying I want either of them to die, or get hurt, but that would be an intense scene. 

“I can do better,” he says. “And perhaps you might bring me a little gossip to cheer the chilly monotony of my days.” “You’re very silly, Your Highness,” she says after a moment, biting her bottom lip a little.

Oak is using his most dangerous power, seduction. Screaming. 

"He remembers Oriana’s warning to him when he was a child. A power like the one you have is dangerous, she said. You can know what other people most want to hear. Say those things, and they will not only want to listen to you. They will come to want you above all other things. The love that a gancanagh inspires—some may pine away for desire of it. Others will carve the gancanagh to pieces to be sure no one else has it."

I'm so glad holly is diving deep into this, We know that Locke also had this power, and how he was wielding it in TFOTA series. 

"That night, he wakes to the sight of a snake crawling down the wall, its black metal body jeweled and glittering. A forked emerald tongue tastes the air at regular intervals, like a metronome. It startles him badly enough for him to back up against the bars, the iron hot against his shoulders. He has seen creatures like it before, forged by the great smiths of Faerie. Valuable and dangerous. The paranoid thought comes to him that poison would be one straightforward way to solve the problem of his being held by an enemy of Elfhame. If he were dead, there’d be no reason to pay a ransom."

Oak sees this snake, and he immediately thinks it was sent from elfhame to kill him. Which is insane for him to believe that. 

"He doesn’t think his sister would allow it, but there are those who might risk going around her. Grima Mog, the new grand general, would know exactly where to find the prince, having served the Court of Teeth herself. Grima Mog might look forward to the war it would start. And, of course, she answered to Cardan as much as Jude."

"Not to mention there was always the possibility that Cardan convinced Jude that Oak was a danger to them both."

WHAT IS THIS DISAPPROVAL CARDAN HAS ON OAK?? The fact that Oak believes Cardan sent the snake to KILL HIMM, that's absolute madness. Like what the helll did this man do to Oak to make him feel this way?? Cryingggg. 

"It yawns widely enough for him to see silver fangs. The links of its body move, and a ring comes up from its throat, clanging to the floor. He leans down and lifts it. A gold ring with a deep blue stone, scuffed with wear. His ring, a present from his mother on his thirteenth birthday and left behind on his dresser because it no longer fit his finger. Proof that this creature was sent from Elfhame. Proof that he was supposed to trust it."

THIS IS THE RING THAT'S ON THE COVER!! Now we know what the ring means to Oak!!

“Prinss,” it says. “In three daysssss, you mussss be ready for resssss‑cue.” “Rescue?” Not here to poison him, then. The snake just stares with its cold, glittering eyes.

Okay so Jude sent a snake as a messenger to Oak, to let him know that they're coming to save him in three days. Cool….coool.

“Give me longer,” he says, no matter that it’s ridiculous to negotiate with a metal snake and even more ridiculous to negotiate for his own imprisonment, just in order to get a chance to speak with someone who refuses to see him. “Two more weeks perhaps. A month.”

THIS STUBBORN BOYYYYYY. Oh I know Jude would be absolutely furious for that.

"Oak slides the ring onto his pinkie finger, watching the snake as it coils its way up the wall. Halfway to the ceiling, he realizes that just because it wasn’t sent to poison him doesn’t mean it wasn’t sent to poison someone."

BIG MISTAKE MISTER SNAKE, BIGGGGG MISTAKEEEE.

He jumps onto the bench and grabs for it, catching the end of its tail. With a tug, it comes off the wall, falling against his body and coiling around his forearm. “Prinsssss,” it hisses. As it opens its mouth to speak, he notes the tiny holes in the points of its silvery fangs. When it does not strike, Oak pries the snake carefully from around his arm. Then, gripping the end of its tail firmly, he slams it down against the stone bench. Hears the cracking of its delicate mechanical parts. A gem flies off. So does a piece of metal. He whips it against the bench again.

Oak really said “oh hell no, you're not killing the women i love, nah uh,” and then proceeds to kill it in a very violent unsettling manner. Everyone was right when they said that Oak was like Madoc.

Straun spits on the floor in front of the prince’s cage. “No amount of gold or gems will save you. If my winter queen wants you to rot here, you’re going to rot.” “Your winter queen?” Oak repeats, unable to stop himself. The falcon looks a little shamefaced and turns to go back to his post. He’s young, Oak realizes. Older than Oak, but not by so very much. Younger than Hyacinthe. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Wren made such an impression on him. It shouldn’t bother Oak, shouldn’t fill him with a ferocious jealousy.

THE JEALOUSY HAS ME CACKLING. He was imprisoned, neglected in his cell by wren and yet he's jealous whenever someone else has lovey dovey eyes for wren. This man is so down for wren, and I don’t blame him. 

The Ghost taught him how to move stealthily, but he’s never been very good at it. He blames his hooves, heavy and hard. They clack at the worst possible times. But he makes an effort, sliding them against the floor to minimize noise.

Super cool to see how much The Ghost has impacted Oak's skills. The court of shadows in general has been a huge part in Oak’s training and it shows.

Oak moves fast, jerking Straun backward and covering his nose and mouth with the cloth. The guard struggles, but inhaling blusher mushroom slows his movements. Oak presses him to the floor until he’s unconscious.

THERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Welp, The excerpt ends in Oak escaping his cell…..after all thar chaos i've become too impatient. Just 3 Months until this book comes out !!! 

[paperclip-skz]

This is What's Gonna Happen

fem*Reader x Jeongin

*WARNING*

contains: mentions of BDSM, mentions of sexual content, over clothes stimulation, this is probably gonna be a part series, femreader ( but implied as first person ), let me know if I missed anything.

WC: 1.8k

*******************

“You start” 

I’m sitting inside with the balcony door closed. “What's your biggest fear?” Another piercing thunder makes my body jolt with surprise.

“At the moment this damn thunderstorm” I shake my hands over my bare shoulders to soothe myself. 

Jeongin chuckles. Jeongin and I share a lot of things, one being a fear of thunderstorms. Well… technically he isn’t as scared as me, but he doesn’t like them. And for me, I’m deathly afraid of them. I don’t mind the rain. I love the rain. It's the thunder and the lighting that give me chills. The feeling of seeing a bright white streak in the air and just waiting to hear the crack and boom of the thunder that follows. 

I haven’t been able to sleep. I thought maybe if I washed the rain, it would help, or at least give me something to do besides staring at my ceiling all night. Later Jeongin joined me, I guess he couldn’t sleep either. We both sat in silence for a while until one of us, I really don’t remember who suggested we play a game. 20 questions…but we’ve been asking way more than just 20. 

“Who 's your celebrity crush?” I close my eyes when I see another white flash outside.

Jeongin scoffs “That's easy, Hyunjin” he giggles in his response. I shouldn’t be prying away at him with questions, but I hardly know any of them. I was staying over at my friend's dorm and he suggested that I stay the night because of the storm. He went to share a bed with one of his roommates so that I could have a bedroom all to myself, so here I am, neglecting the empty bedroom and asking random questions to Jeongin. 

“My turn” I take a deep breath “What's your kink?” that opens my eyes real quick. He’s searching my face, trying to see if he stepped a line.

 I laugh a little, “Umm” I think trying to play along. “I’m not sure, probably bondage” His eyes widened, I don’t think he was expecting me to answer. “So we’re asking those kinds of questions now?” I pique. Jeongin hangs his head, a wide grin stretching across his face. “Okay then, my turn” I readjust myself to be completely facing him “how many people have you slept with” 

I’m met with his loud laugh, probably because of my boldness. He stares back at me, licking his lips like its a challenge “guess” 

“I don’t think you’ve slept with anyone, not since your debut at least” I answer honestly. Each member of Stray Kids is kept under such a tight leash, that I couldn’t imagine sneaking away to have a proper drink let alone trying to get laid. 

He pokes his tongue at his cheek “4” he answers simply. Honestly, I’m shocked. “And you?” 

“We agreed so repeating questions” 

“It's not a repeat, call it pure curiosity” Jeongin holds his hands up like he’s defending himself on the stand. 

I sigh while looking back at the window. I watch a steady droplet fall from the top of the glass door, all the way down to the bottom of the door, “I haven’t- I mean-” 

I’m struggling to find the words, “You're a virgin?” He says it more like a question than a statement, which makes sense. He doesn’t know me either, why would he know that I’m a virgin? 

This time, it's my turn to hang my head in shame. I look back up at him for a brief moment and all I’m met with are wide eyes with nothing but curiosity in them. “That doesn’t bother me” he states.

“No, it's just…” Why is this embarrassing, I’m 22 and a virgin, what's the big deal? “I’ve done other things, just not the…” I shake my hands in frustration which only makes him giggle “You know” 

“Fair enough” there's silence for a moment. “Oh, it's my turn, right?” He’s trying to change the subject, because it's awkward, because I made it awkward with my inexperience, and he’s trying to be nice. Can I bury myself out in the woods?

“Why are you afraid of storms?” he cocks his head. He’s staring at the window, when did he turn his head to look at the storm?

I look back as well, I see the dark clouds and the rainfall in the distance. “I’m not sure. I used to live somewhere where we had a lot of storms, it could be that. Or maybe, because of the loud noise, it's really the thunder I don’t like.” 

He nods his head in acknowledgment. I need to make sure he doesn’t think I’m uncomfortable…how the hell do I do that? I need to bring the topic back to what it was, fun, playful, flirtatious. I can do that…right?

“What is your deepest sexual desire?” I’m still looking out the window, trying to play the question off as smoothly as I can. I turn to look back at him and the curiosity that was in his eyes has vanished, replaced with something darker. 

“What exactly do you mean?” 

“You know, it could be anything. A scenario, a position, a person, a situation. What's something you really want, sexually?” 

He looks up at the ceiling, trying to think of something I assume. Then, when he brings his head back to meet my eyes, he responds, “I don’t know, maybe to do it with someone I love” 

Too easy. Sure you could want to do it with someone you love, everyone wants to do it with someone they love, but that can’t be their deepest sexual desire. “I call bullshit. Come on Innie, you're kinkier than that.”

My challenging tone hits a nerve on him. I can see his mind battling with himself, until his eyes say “screw it.” 

“Fine, okay. I’ve always liked the idea of someone giving me head while I play my games. Or when I’m playing a game, and they're sitting on top of me, cockwarming my dick. Not moving, just sitting there, maybe squirming a little.”

Oh shit. The smug smile that was plastered on my face is now gone, and my legs rub together. I can feel a dampness gathering and I try my very best to ignore it. “Oh…” I really don’t know how to respond. I can’t stop thinking about his scenario’s, they're sensual and intimate, and oh so hot. 

“What about you?” He snaps me out of my fantasies. Get it together Y/N, there HIS fantasies. 

“What's my sexual desire?” he nods his head. I know exactly what it is, but am I willing to admit it?

 He admitted his, it's only fair. “I’ve always been curious about sensory deprivation. The idea of having something so natural taken away, but in return every other sense is lit up like a christmas tree. I don’t know, I guess that idea is always a turn on” 

I look out the window one more time. I can hear his heavy breathing from where I’m sitting, it's grown quick and I can see his thighs fidgeting. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him inching closer, so I turn back to him. Next thing I know, he's inches from my face, his hot breath breathing down my neck and straight to my core. My clit drums along with the sound of my beating heart. “Tell me to stop,” He whispers. 

I don’t have the self-control to tell him to stop, I can’t even if I wanted to. My nerves are on edge, the anticipation that's building bangs within me. “What if I don’t want you to” 

The low hum he releases vibrates through my chest, “you don’t understand Y/N, if you don’t tell me to stop we might do something you’ll regret.” 

My hands stretch out to caress his cheek. Jeongin leans into my touch, closing his eyes. He's beautiful. How can someone look so beautiful, so innocent, so fragile, and yet his eyes and features burn with passion and lust. 

“What if I promised you that I won’t regret anything in the morning?” 

His eyes meet mine, lidded and dark, filled with a need; with a mission. “Promise?” His voice is low and weak, but it's enough to send chills straight to my center.

I nod my head, too afraid to answer with words and ruin the moment. All of a sudden Jeongin’s lips are on mine. His lips are soft, but the way his tongue tangles with mine is with pure hunger and persistence. I lean my head to the side, letting the kiss deepen. 

The growl that leaves his chest vibrates through our entangled mouths making me moan in response. My hands interlace in his dark hair, pulling at his roots, which pulls out another low moan from him.

His hands grip my waist, pulling me onto his lap. I’m straddling his thighs, I can feel my ass press up against something hard. 

I’m the first to break apart from the kiss, but it's not long until I’m kissing my way from his corner lip and down his neck. He tastes like vanilla, the sugary sweetness has my mind spinner as I continue my sloppy kisses. 

His grip tightens when I kiss a spot just below his ear and I rock my hips in response. The friction of stiff clothes gives my clit the friction it begs for, it sends a moan to escape my parted lips. I can feel his already hard member twitch within the confinements of his sweats, it makes my hips rock again, a little harder than the last. 

His hot breath casts a shiver to rake down my spine and his hands become a staple in my movements. Jeongin releases one of his hands on my waist to gently grab ahold of the back of my neck, rubbing circles with the tips of his fingers. 

 I can feel my lower stomach tighten with a not-so unfamiliar feeling, the stimulation getting too overwhelming. Suddenly, his grip on my neck tightens bringing my head away from the crook of his neck to meet his eyes. I don’t halt my movements, instead, I pick up the tender pace. 

I can see his release slowly approaching, the way his eyes roll to the back of his head, the way his hips jerk up to try and meet with the rhythm of mine, and the way his hold on my neck falters just slightly. 

I close my eyes and try to savor the sweet friction. It's not enough to send me completely over the edge, but it is enough to build a heat in my core. 

I can feel Jeongin’s body tense….until his steel-like grip halts my hips from any movement. 

My eyes snapped to meet him, but they were matched with a much more ruinous pair. “I’m not ruining this by cumming in my sweats when I could have you below me in my bed” The knot in my stomach tightens by his words alone, “so sugar, this is what’s gonna happen….”

[neopuppy]

i follow both your nct and enha blogs, so i saw your reply to an ask on your enha blog which also mentioned renjun and it felt wrong messaging you abt him there so i will just message you abt him here haha. hope you don’t mind!!!

have you seen renjun’s message on bbl where he exposed a sasaeng’s twt account? that was bravery right there. i hope that’ll serve as an example to idols and warning to crazy fans

I was going THROUGH it last night bc of this jcjejcjdjd I genuinely dont know if I’d be as concerned if it was anyone other than Renjun only given the circumstances(SM ent. and their long history of torturing idols- plus what was also happening with cbx/exo yesterday)

going to say this as someone who is on my 3rd SM group that I’m watching fall apart in real time once again, this is likely Dreams last run(the irony) as a properly promoted group. the only reason they even still get so much is because they are huge in Asia and have always been(PROBABLY BC SM HAS NEVER ONCE TRIED TO BREAK THEM INTO THE WESTERN MARKET THE WAY THEY DID WITH 127 BUT THATS BC 127 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR US FANS- we know how that went). its so hard to watch your favs literally cry for help and you cant do anything when its their own company working against them.

sasaengs are kept alive by INTERNAL staff that have access to information such as private schedule locations, hotels, flights, etc. why else would the SAME people always conveniently ‘show up’ to unannounced events that were never for ‘fans’ to begin with?

Renjun is one of the handful of actual talented idols we have in the age of 2024 where all kpop idols need to do is buy an entirely new face to debut and be deemed “it boy/girl”, makes me sick to my stomach that he cant do his job peacefully bc of people who relentlessly stalk him, purposely sit by him on planes, call his phone day and night.

I’m fr just a normal person, not famous just living my life and my anxiety is BAD. way worse when I was younger and would have physical panic attacks to the point of throwing up. I got help(therapy, meds, etc) fortunately and learned how to calm my anxiety but I always think abt how idols have to deal with this especially when I’m at the airport. like INTL travel is so fucking stressful and taxing on the body, I cannot imagine camera shooting at me the second I step off a 16 hr flight where weird ass ssngs followed me to the bathroom and took pictures of me SLEEPING the entire time! only to run after me in mobs after going through customs.

like idfk why anyone would defend this animalistic behavior. if an idol feels desperate enough to share their mental health issues with us as fans- coming from a place and industry where this is very stigmatized- WE NEED TO LISTEN, AS FANS WHO RESPECT AND TRUST HIM. I wish I could do something, but I cant, and I would beat up every ssng to exists if it held no repercussion bc famous or not these are HUMAN BEINGS, and they dont deserve this.

I really worry given the kpop track record of idols choosing their exit instead of finding help. I am so proud of Renjun for putting himself first and taking this time off to heal himself. like there is just so many things and I am worried abt all of Dream, they debuted so young and have some of the worst ssngs out of all of kpop with a company who wont lift a finger to protect them. in this case they truly only have us(the actual fans)and Renjun going public with this proves that.

I hope anyone who has invaded their privacy feels ashamed, and this goes for ‘fans’ that follow them around the world/are constantly in fan calls/fan signs etc- you are weird. period. nothing normal about that one-sided parasocial relationship that you brag abt online, and instead of spending $1000’s upon $1000’s on bothering an idol who will never fuck you, maybe consider investing in a much needed grippy sock vacation.

I think these people are beyond help, and unfortunately they have the funds or limitless credit to endorse their madness. I need more idols to see this and start calling out these weirdos. NO ONE SHOULD ALLOW THIS BEHAVIOR TO BE NORMALIZED, end of story.

[suethesocks]

Ascalon Redesigns!

Ive always bashed Ascalon alot (still do) but watching kuro's breakdowns i coudnt help but wonder about how cool it wouldve been if it was actually executed well

My main gripes with it is that it didnt look like technology, made no sense to look the way it does, and felt very poorly thought out overall like the lore for it was a complete afterthought

As you can see here (and in my george design) Ive made ascalon alot more technological-looking and like something azmuth would actually build

So whats the deal with this device? Ascalon is a weapon that uses the incomplete DNA of powerful beings (such as celestialsapiens) to harness their power and manifest it into a superpowerful suit of armor and weapon that, if used correctly, can be used to dissect and study the fabric of reality.

This way Ascalon contrasts alot more directly to the omnitrix, being both DNA devices of sorts. And both made for the purposes of knowledge, but one is alot more destructive and obviously made for offensive purposes than the other

I gave it those weird vertical circle thingies to sort of look like the star alignment we saw in the flashbacks with Zennith. Always found it weird how that never came up and the design didnt evoke it at all apart from simply.. being long?

The armor and weapon are based off of the user and what their mind sort of understands as "combat gear." This is why it looks like a knights armor for George and how it manifests into a sword (or rather one of those cartooonishly large claymores). I tried to give it white tubes and some green dots to evoke the omnitrix more. Also slapped on a cool big cape because every robot armor should have a cape tbh. I didnt intend for that at the time but this ended up being a motif throughout the designs, finding a way to incorprate cloth into them

Here we have a hypothetical design for azmuth if he were to wield it. For galvans i imagine they probably go into battle in giant mechs, so thats what his ascalon is. Gave ascalon that 1 zigzag that his staff in soto has, but tried to move away from the soto mechs design for this bc i never imagined that one was used for serious military combat

In the azmuth flashbacks we saw that he gave Ascalon to an incursean warrior which is what led to their homeworld's destruction. I think DJW later said that the warrior was not an Incursean but idc !!

I drew this in the same pose that the warrior had in the shot we saw him in. Gave him the classic incursean helmet as well as some more incursean-y elements to his armor. He has a normal sword that looks more like canon ascalon's than george's (i wish i could pretend it was because hes the technical original wielder of ascalon so he gets to have the design match the canon but no it was a coincidence)

We saw Vilgax wield Ascalon for a brief moment in the show so i had to! This ascalon was a very easy choice for me since i made up my mind ages before i even got the idea. Vilgax should never ever wield any sort of weapon, because hes simply strong enough on his own that he can pure muscle and brain his way out of any conflict. Brute force is his fortei, not becasue hes dumb but because he just doesnt need to do anything else. BUT if you were to give him a weapon, it shouldnt be a sword or a gun (both things UAF had lmao) it should be something like a hammer or a mace or gauntlets. Brute force sort of weapon

Vilgax is a already warlord so it was simple to work off of his canon OS design (the coolest one) and come up with an armor for him. I also took some inspirations from Eva Unit-02 for the helmet and the cape (specifically its debut where it was covered in cloth)

Of course, for ascalon i had to go with hammer. I mean his ship is called the Chimeran Hammer so you gotta! Also i think its the most fun visual with vilgax

Last but not least, the last person to wield ascalon in the show, Ben himself! I originally wasnt planning to do this, but then i got the idea of giving him these 2 designs to represent his change in mindset he has in the finale

In the beginning hes mostly influenced by how he saw george wield ascalon and stuff,and hes kinda losing it in the sauce a little. So he has an armor similar to that of goerge. Then as he remembers his friends and his humanity, he comes back down to earth (metaphorically?) and his armor itself shifts to represent this, being a mostly cartoonish armor based off ultra ben who i assume is like bens sona or something lol

The cloth is a menacing badass cape like George's, but then shifts into this sort of bubbly friendly skirt. His weapon also shifts from daggers wrapped around the omnitrix (representing using the omnitrix as a wepaon) to a shield wrapped around the omnitrix (representing using the omnitrix as a peacekeeping device)

These weapons dont actually interact with his omnitrix in anyway, theyre mostly just wrapped around it so he can still access it. The aliens would probably have george's armor but with slight changes to fit each alien better

Bonus!!

My own takes on Vilcubra and Dagax

Always really really really disliked both of these designs in the show, they felt like they went through zero drafts before the final design and they just kinda did whatever (which isnt far off from how the rest of this arc was handled lol)

I tried making vilcubra look more creepy and like his body was indeed transformed to be a servant, and also closer to how the lacubras actually look so i SLASHED off his toesies and took out his eyes and put them on his shoulders so they dont look like eyes (leaving room for the teeth to overtake the face) also gave him a tail

I think the idea behind having Dagax be a floating vilcubra head vilgax was because they thought a floating normal vilgax head would look goofy (theyre right) but i think they failed to realize that the floating vilcubra head is equally goofy even if indeed you give it red eyes. So i just tried to make my design be something of a mix between the actual Dagon and vilgax

I admit i ran into some trouble trying to do that as vilgax was the OG cthulu inspired design, so trying to mix him with other cthulu presented trouble. I tried to at least slant his eyes the same way they looked in OS and give him the OS yellow spots, as well as the 2 big tentacles he has in the back of his head in OS and OV

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/9/2024

the BEAST (phil) has been SPAYED

listening

my sister ALSO, INDPENDENTLY, keeps tuesdayesqe lists in the back of her planner! which is what i used to do before these posts! You Got A Man by JAWNY is off her 2023 playlist. this philly artist's claim to fame seems to be that he dated doja cat for six months? the song is short, bratty, and fun indie/alt not-quite-rap. i have no knowledge of how much the man overlaps with the song. spotify

-

reading

ive never watched supernatural, except by osmosis bc i signed up for this website in 2011. this book is what i imagine people say when they say "what if supernatural was good?"

Rebecca Roanhorse's Trail of Lightning (her debut) and Storm of Locusts takes Maggie, a typical lone hero/monster hunter/horrible bitch of a woman (i say this approvingly) and says listen! you can do way sicker shit if you like. accept help and community and have a support system. it does not read like booktok found family or approach this in the typical fanfic way, which is refreshing. it points out that you will be a much longer lived and successful monster hunter this way. this is optimization, if you really look at it.

most postapoc stuff doesn’t contend with the fact (if it even acknowledges indigenous people at all) that indigenous people have already lived through several colonizing apocalypses. these books make a very sharp point that there is not a tremendous amount of difference between the reservation before the apocalypse and the reservation after the apocalypse. the worldbuilding in these is a interesting spin on sea levels plus the Energy Wars, to keep all of that at arms' length the Diné built a magical and physical wall, which i think is a funny spin on the trump border wall.

neither of them are really romance or kissing books, there is romantic interest but they are kept extremely busy not dying and admiring each other's competence. they are action and gore heavy. this is notable bc the books are fairly short (took me about two and a half hours each) and they have pretty fuckin good action scenes! the first book has an underground club and fight ring run by a cat god: club atmosphere was terrific (there's a bit about them having to drag in hastily camouflaged cheap walmart tables to handle some overflow and i instantly knew exactly the table), it had a dress up scene I was very weak to. i thought the series of events by which they ended up at the big boss battle post-club was kind of stupid but (forgivably) the big boss battle was quite enjoyable. figuring out what to do with your life next when you’re highly trained for a very specific thing but also not trained enough to be a serious danger and were set up to fail was extremely compelling to me, an astronomy major who cannot actually work in astronomy.

second book really hits its stride and (girl who has only played fallout voice) feels very fallout-y. desperate quest to save a loved one. girls' trip through a bunch of weird places with a bunch of weird guys. there's a lot of references that play with tone without ever going HEY REMEMBER THIS OTHER WORK YOU COULD GO LOOK AT RIGHT NOW? there’s a plane and a weird guy that made me think of mad max thunderdome, except the weird guy is his own character and has his own arc. there’s a weird grandpa on a boat who i don't think is a reference at all, except maybe to the timeless genre of weird grandpas on boats. there’s a sentient casino trapping people inside that reminded me of the new vegas dead money expansion, except Maggie barely steps inside bc she immediately gets caught up in a day-long battle of wits against the god of gambling. Maggie is a little more settled in her own skin now that she’s regularly talking to other people and has rejoined her community in her own small ways on her own terms and it HAS made her a much more successful monster hunter. the dialogue is snappier, the action scenes are more elaborate and smoothly choreographed. it's nice to watch an author grow so quickly (from this is serviceable to oh SHIT this is fun) over the course of a duology :) this feels like it was meant to be a trilogy but this book came out in 2019 so i am not holding my breath. it has a nice solid endpoint right here imo.

past sexual violence is sort of orbited around but no sexual violence is actually depicted, which i appreciate as a woman trying to enjoy postapoc.

libby has a very helpful Indigenous Voices category/reading guide/thing. thank u libby now i want to read everything else she's ever written

-

watching

saw a piece of fanart i cannot find now for the three minute short PUPARIA by Shingo Tamagawa.

Something is about to change drastically. We can only be witnesses to it.

it's a weird and stunningly beautiful little thing i am still worrying at like a dog with a peanut butter kong. if you have a thing about eyes or clusters of round shapes this is NOT the three minute short for you btw

-

playing

the free epic game was the Eidos Montreal Guardians of the Galaxy game, and since i am allergic to dead moms i will not be playing it. widely reviewed as "good writing, but not very much fun to actually play" so i don't feel like i'm missing out on too much.

i have no good story to tell about my time with genshin this week. we're aiming for "can i turn my brain off for forty minutes in the evening" and grinding a lot of one specific boss while listening to podcasts does seem to be enough to turn my brain off.

-

making

i have been frantically deep cleaning (including soaking the office in enzymatic cleaner [thanks phil]) bc my siblings are coming to town for a couple days and despite several setbacks (a completely different arrival time than the one they told me) and absolutely no sense of an itinerary we will be fine! we will all be fine and have fun! i will be SO fine and calm and chill and we will all have some fucking fun so help us god

ALSO also phil has finally been spayed and is now dealing with four separate issues: the giant wound still on her side, the spay incision, the necrotic abscess in her mouth from going too hard on a springy toy, and being underweight from trying to heal three things at once. we'll get there! we'll get there. it's just taking a while. we are going to have friday afternoon vet visits every week for the foreseeable future.

i love her so much and i'm glad she's feeling better but i genuinely think owning a horse would be cheaper than owning this one wonky cat. they shaved SO much of her tummy she looks even sillier than usual.

other than being Very Alert for the persistent little orange tomcat that keeps hopping up on my windowsill, mackie is doing fine. no concept of the fact that my siblings are going to pick her up more in two days than she gets picked up in a whole month. this is a girl that likes her feet on the ground thanks much

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hello! Reading your comment about Gr@mmys, I thought of something that makes my head spin.

Was it what happened with J!m!n and F@CE that got us out of the OT7 utopia “seven exact and equal slices of the pie” for each member? I expected to see differences, problems or competitions during this stage but I feel that F@CE was a before and after, at least for me. Now, I could yell at my "me" from the last concert in Bus@n, how naive and overly positive I was being.

I understand the factors that made this reality. I don't know the internal agreements between them and their company. For me Jungk00k's debut only shed more light on topic (he's not the villain of the story, blaming him is just easy way out) Family = seven = equal. Wasn't that the driven narrative? From my place I see how the members go out of their way to demonstrate healthy competition among themselves but the label does not accompany them with their actions/decisions. Actions that make me see company as inexperienced. Did they really have no way to avoid these conflicts? Shouldn't they take care of every detail of career of the artists they represent?

This has nothing to do with the decisions of each member. Some armys force too much -members decide everything- speech and frankly to me it feels like a re-victimization and the removal of responsibility from their representatives. Even if we look at this as a team it seems like someone isn't doing their part. May I disagree? I'm a different person. If everyone says that BH is a great company, I will tell them that it should be even better. The company where my father works has often not fulfilled its duties as an employer, but he will tell you that it's the best job, and I proceed to respect it. Just like that i feel

Whose responsibility is it really that everything has gotten to this point? From company and its silences, from fandom that allowed solo stans to grow, from everyone? Is it just the natural course of things?

There is something in this chapter that gives me the feeling of improvisation. Or was I just too used to everything being calculated and perfect in the B/T/S world?

If you had to give a prognosis for the next chapter, what would it be?

***

“Family = seven = equal. Wasn't that the driven narrative?”

No, actually.

Listen, I hear you and I get you completely. OT7 literally means love the members equally right? And that’s the agenda the company has been pushing and should show right? Well, not exactly. What I’m about to say is going to be very unpopular, but it’s genuinely what I think.

People have a very narrow idea of how many things can look, and when they run up against a reality that looks very different from how they expected it, many people don’t know how to deal with that very well. And oftentimes what happens is that they turn to vilifying whoever they think is responsible for preventing them from getting that imagined outcome. It never once crosses their minds that maybe they had the wrong assumptions to begin with. It’s always the thought of maybe someone is gaslighting them, rather than, you know, maybe they were just wrong. For that context and for that group’s actual goals.

There’s one post I wrote a long time ago that I think made me fairly popular with Jimin biases here, it’s the one where I talk about some of the ways Jimin contributed to BTS that might not seem obvious at first. I prefaced that post by saying many in the fandom underestimate Jimin not because they dislike him or anything, but because they have a narrow idea of what ‘meaningful contribution’ looks like for a group like BTS. All I did in that post was point out things that perhaps were not framed in the right way to show how much Jimin contributes to BTS that’s more than songwriting, producing, or others. It’s the same thinking in recognizing that while SeokJin isn’t the strongest dancer or vocalist, he’s served as the stable emotional support in the group, he serves as the key hinge in maintaining the uniformity in their choreography, and that without him in the group, the members would certainly clash very destructively. It’s not ‘equal contribution’ in the way a lot of people envision, but I think it’s perfect for BTS.

Granted all I’ve said so far is in terms of contributions, not rewards which is what you’re talking about. You’re saying the company should facilitate things so that each member is meant to get equal rewards each time. Well, that would be dandy and possible for the company. Maybe. But it’s also not weird, bad, nor does is spell sabotage for a company to allocate different resources and use different strategies after consulting with the members for their direct input, and to pursue asymmetrical results for BTS at certain times. The understanding is each member prioritized will vary in different years and eras. And I’m personally looking forward to all of it. Since July 2022, all the members have put forward a good first step with their debuts. Jungkook is the member getting a solid push now and I love that it’s him. I’m secretly hoping he tours a bit too, maybe solo or with vmin, and maybe/not go to the military before 2025. Who knows?

A lot of things didn’t work right for all the members' debuts. Jimin’s performance was impacted by far too many though, and many were issues the company simply needs to get their shit together on. Period. BTS makes a shit tonne of money for that company and the least they could do is go the extra mile and then some. I’m convinced HYBE already does this for BTS (recall how HYBE navigated extracting BTS from that Jamboree concert disaster, though public opinion was also on their side), but they could always do more. And I won’t stop anyone from saying that.

But for anyone who thinks what they’ve seen so far is Jungkook / BTS / HYBE betraying their trust or going back on their principles or whatever, I want to say that they’ve done no such thing. This time around your bias wasn’t prioritized the way you wanted. That’s it. Am I being naive and delusional by thinking the guys are literally taking turns for this kind of focus? Possibly. But I also know there’s a Pharrell collab somewhere in the vault. Rina Sawayama too (her Le Sserafim remix is really good. Please listen to it). And that the guys have very grand plans. All of them. They’re focused and driven and will always get what they ultimately want. Every member is like this. They've put too much skin in the game to walk away for less.

Or lol, maybe I'm just being a company stan. I just hope it's clear I'm not dismissing your concern or care for Jimin, Anon, it's that I disagree with your conclusion. But I know I'm in the minority here anyway.

“Whose responsibility is it really that everything has gotten to this point? “

The fandom, mostly. For reasons that are very obvious. Such as most of the fandom claiming they actually like the whole group and trust their bias, but rather kinda see the other members as background characters for their bias. Fandom is like a pressure cooker, so nobody ever really stays 'normal' if they move too far off-center - people who heavily biases a member in an unhealthy way will never remain an ARMY, for example, they’ll eventually break off into fringe parts; people who dislike a member, only grow to further hate the member. Neutral is rare.

If BigHit wanted to make another try for a Grammy this year, Seven would’ve likely been envisioned with all the members as a project to pursue, because a win for any of them is considered a win for the group. Especially considering the competition this year. And given BH already had a formula with the PET, they went with that same mediocre candy floss of a song that’s guaranteed to get the nomination chances, as in the past. Experience has taught the company Korean tracks will likely not be given fair consideration soon. So they went with Seven. Also, after that Billboard hit piece, Jimin’s chances with Like Crazy are close to zilch. If by some miracle he gets recognition, I hope he wins. But yeah, that debacle with Jimin is one in which the fandom (meaning his akgaes, biases, and the wider/whole fandom) bears some blame. But at the same time, Billboard has never been a friend to BTS and they were likely going to change the rules again anyway. And that’s something they can keep doing.

"If you had to give a prognosis for the next chapter, what would it be?"

I have no real idea, tbh. What I want more than anything, is for all seven of them to be able to continue putting out dope, interesting music that they take joy in. Seeing Bangtan have fun has extended my life by several years I'm sure. That's what I want for them in the prognosis. I'm sorry I'm taking your ask about a serious topic and going all sentimental on it Anon, but rather than chart placements that they don't really need to prove, I want BTS to still be comfortable making the music they want to make. More Arson, Dis-ease, All Day, Change Pt 2, Snooze, HUH?!, Amygdala, Like Crazy, SMF Pt 2, Rainy Days, Seven, The Astronaut.

I hope the people who remain in the fandom core are able to last and tough it out while the fandom regroups. Because even though there'll be chaos and the number of solos will likely triple, they won't ever leave. Nobody who comes in contact with BTS ever really moves on from them. They'll say they're taking breaks, calling it quits or whatever, but give them 6 months tops and they're back. I see it happen all the time. And it makes sense tbh. I mean, have you seen Jimin? After knowing someone like him exists, how can you just go back to your regular life pretending he's not real? Like his existence doesn't mandate you looking at him and caring for him and his art. At least, that's how Jimin makes me feel. And the other members to varying degrees.

If we disagree please don't send me follow-up asks on this topic. It likely won't be productive.

[slut4carlgrimes]

☆•The best idol•☆

{This was requested Btw. I hope you like it and this is my first so sorry if you didnt like it.}

^Idol!FEM!reader x poly!SBG^

Warnings: violence (not much tho),FEM!reader being an icon.

Before you read:

• the group is in a romantic relation ship with reader.

• reader plays the leader as the singer (the rest of the group are oc's) keila plays drums , Elizabeth plays guitar '1' and cassie plays guitar '2' .

It had been a few weeks since y/n has told her lovers and their parents about her career and relationship, and honestly, things have been great. Y/N felt a lot more confident in practice without the guilt of bailing on her partners and her future parent in laws and not providing a sufficient reason why. Y/n and her group were about to enter the stage for her first encore with her group 'dr3amy' with their debut album "girls never die." She inhaled deeply and let the breath out through her nose as the lights of the stage lit up.

Y/n's POV:

My group goes ahead of me To start our song. Before i go on stage my eyes travels the crowd of people To find my lovers and their parents. I find them in front of the crowd. A smile forming on my face as i take another deep breath and go on stage with my group waiting for me. I look at my hand mates (or friends) with a big smile on their face showing that they're happy.

I go on stage with my big doe eyes filled with joy and excitement i went To the front of the stage To grab my microphone to start my first song 'woke up' by xg (i know its a kpop song but just imagine its not lmao) another deep breath ( this is like the 3 time-) and start singing.

...

When im in the middle part of the song i started To have a weird feeling in my stomac but i ignore it because I just thought it was anxiety💅 and continued To sing.

...

My feeling got worst and i think 'why am i feeling like something is going To happend?' And when i look i look at the corner of my eye i see barron with a smug look on its face.

'What the-?' Im more worried like 'what is he doing here?' And when he lifts up his right hand my worried was confirmed. 'I knew something bad was going To happen!'

He was holding a knife. And he was going To throw it at me, he throws it and im happy i was alerted because that went towards my neck and fast too.

So when it goes a little close To my neck i catch it and stopped singing. I was mad , no Furious! Like how dare he ruin my performance!?

The crowd stops like its dead quiet. Everyone is in complete shock. Thats normal who throws a knife at an idol?

I look at the knife with no expression and then look barron dead in the eye that could hunt you in your nightmares. No one has never seen her so mad before even in the phantom realm.

She throws the knife back at barron but just far away To cut his left cheek.

Tyler was in complete shock but kinda proud.

Taylor was also in shock.

Logan sweatdroped and went all nervous but still proud.

Aiden falled in love with her all over again

Ben was proud. He knew it was coming.

Ashlyn was in the same emotion as tyler.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Browsing some old Chortle reviews today for no reason, and found a review of Andy Zaltzman's first ever Edinburgh hour. Things I knew about this show yesterday: It was called Andy Zaltzman versus The Mysterious Dog of Doom, it was billed as a solo show but featured occasions bits with John Oliver, it was before he got particularly into political comedy and was mainly just weird surreal stuff, it was nominated for the 2001 Perrier Newcomer Award. Things I know now: Steve Bennett liked it a whole lot better than he liked John Oliver's solo debut the following year.

Things I know about the show now: According to Steve Bennett,

Andy Zaltzman is producing some of the most interesting and intelligent stand-up around.

He aims terrifically high, with material that aims to capture vast and important ideas and distil them into surreal streams of observation, underlining the absurdity of the situations.

And, considering how ambitious his targets are, his strike rate is remarkably good, producing plenty of laughs from such complex social and political points.

Well that doesn't really fit with what Andy has told both Stuart Goldsmith and Stewart Lee in interviews, that his first comedy hour wasn't particularly political or focused or worth much of anything at all. I figured he must be downplaying something about it, given that it got nominated for quite a significant award.

The integrity of the material is clearly important to Zaltzman, who also takes some well-aimed pops at the conventions and laziness of more conventional stand-up.

Oh I'd pay money to hear that. I mean, obviously I would have already been willing to pay good money for Andy Zaltzman's 2001 stand-up show. But I would really like to hear what a 27-year-old Zaltzman had to say about the laziness of more conventional stand-up. John Oliver wrote that weird article in 2003 getting mad at comedians who slag off Americans for cheap points with British audiences (I mean, I agree with his point, but it was a bit of a weird focus). What did Andy get mad about? Comedians who occasional cite accurate facts?

Mind you, he's not beyond the odd groanworthy pun himself, albeit a finely crafted one.

Sorry, does that mean puns were the things Andy complained about in conventional stand-up? Also, this would later prove to be the largest understatement of Steve Bennett's career, including the time in 2012 when he said that politics and racial identity "inform some of [Nish Kumar's] act."

At its best, the content is superb, although the densely packed routines can sometimes labour an idea beyond its comic limit.

I apologize my above incorrect statement. This is the largest understatement of Steve Bennett's career. (I think that is an amusing thing to say, but also a genuine point. People joke about Andy's puns, but as long as his pun runs are, if someone thinks of the fundamental building blocks of Andy Zaltzman's comedy, that'll be the extensive and laboured analogies. And they're densely packed as fuck.)

But the show is ultimately let down by its execution.

Hey! Steve! Come on, man. You were being so nice. What are you turning it around for now?

Zaltzman is never going to be one of those charismatic comics who can effortlessly work a room, but the presentation could still do with more polish.

Okay that may be accurate, but, hey! Fuck off, Steve! That is our guy who will never be one of those charismatic comics you're talking about! Don't try to polish Andy Zaltzman! No one is allowed to polish Andy Zaltzman. Can you imagine Andy Zaltzman polished? No thank you. I don't like that thought.

The Macguffin of getting the audience to vote for Zaltzman's treatise or the contrary opinions of the Dog Of Doom is an imaginative way to break up the material, even though it sometimes seems incongruously nailed onto the end of a routine.

Fair enough he does do that. I had no idea he was doing it as early as 2001. I'm sorry that Steve man is being so mean to you, Andy. Come to Edinburgh this year and I will happily vote in all your weird audience polls and I promise not to call it incongruous on the internet afterwards.

But the voting, and the smattering of sketches with fellow comic John Oliver,

Hey! Hey, I know that guy! That guy! Sketches with that other guy John Oliver! I had heard them say before that even in the couple of years when they were both doing stand-up but hadn't started doing joint double-act shows, they were appearing in each other's solo stuff. And I quite enjoy this piece of Avalon promo material from 2002, in which John Oliver tries to sell himself by bragging that he appeared briefly in that show by the successful Andy Zaltzman that got nominated for a Perrier Newcomer award. From the brief window when the balance of fame and fortune between them was that way around.

still leaves the occasional lengthy chunk of monologue that can seem more like lecture than comedy, with too few gags to justify the concentration required.

That's the first bit of this review that doesn't sound like the Andy Zaltzman we now know at all. When I say his comedy is densely packed, it's densely packed with jokes, among other things. But I can believe that maybe wasn't so much the case in 2001.

However, as a debut Edinburgh show, this is a brave and welcome attempt to breathe new life into the genre. And although the raw talent still needs to be better harnessed, it's a show well worth seeing now, to glimpse what the future of stand-up could, hopefully, be.

You're God damn fucking right it was. I mean, I don't know what that show specifically was. It might actually have been shit. But well done on correctly recognizing Andy as a brave and welcome attempt to breathe new life into the genre, and the future of what stand-up could, hopefully, be. Are we lucky that he did turn out to be that?

@lastweeksshirttonight I think you'd enjoy reading this.

[just-promise-me-jm]

Make it right, it's gonna be all right

I'm just going to include this gif at the top because its one of my favorite Jimin gifs from this past year.

I had meant to come back here sooner, but to be honest my life is kind of a mess right now and work has been killing me so I haven't wanted to spend any more time on the computer than I have to during the day. But as we approach enlistment week, I felt like it made sense to come back on here and share some of the feelings I've been trying to process since news of Jimin's enlistment first dropped.

There are a couple of things that I feel like are important to preface before I share the rest of my feelings:

I am not Korean and have never lived in South Korea, so I don't have an intimate understanding of how the enlistment process or military service in South Korea works. I will do my best to just share my feelings and opinions without getting to deeply into things that I don't really have a place to comment on.

Generally speaking, I am a pacifist so I wish that we lived in a world where no one had to serve in the military, voluntarily or involuntarily. I also understand why that isn't always a reality.

I am a woman, so in most cases mandatory military service isn't something that would apply to me and therefore I can't really speak to how this would make me feel if I was in his shoes.

Obviously we knew this day was going to come eventually, especially once Jin had started the enlistment process, but it doesn't make it any easier to sit and think about not having Jimin around for the next 18 or so months. It's a weird set of emotions to process the absence of someone who you don't know personally, but who has been a constant in your life for years. The fact that this comes during December, a month which many people (including myself) find to be a difficult time of year, only makes it harder.

Because a conversation around whether or not the members of BTS should have to serve is basically irrelevant at this point, I'd rather focus on some of the conversations I've seen around whether or not Jimin will "do well" in the military.

Now, some of what I've seen posted is coming from PJMs or other Jimin fans who are concerned with his welfare and whether or not he will be subject to bullying or harassment like some other idols have experienced. I've also seen some really unhinged takes saying he is too "weak" or won't be able to cope due to some imagined mental health issue (obviously this is not coming from anyone who really cares for or supports Jimin). I even saw posts detailing Jimin's martial arts prowess meant to defend him against those accusations.

So let me be real for a sec - I think Jimin is one of the most dedicated and hard working people I have ever come across and I'm including people I know IRL in that calculation. That isn't just about his martial arts background (even though he could definitely kick some ass if he wanted to), how many hours he spent on his own practicing his singing and dancing leading up to and after his debut, the amount of work he put into FACE, or even how grueling the life of an idol can be. I think it comes down to the type of person he is at a fundamental level - no one can keep up that level of effort on an ongoing basis unless it's hardwired into them. Ultimately, this is what I think will help Jimin to survive and even thrive during his service.

Beyond all that, seeing how well Jin and Hobi seem to have done during their service so far also gives me a lot of comfort. Knowing that Jimin and JK will be stationed with Jin for the next few months gives me hope that he can show them the ropes and help them get settled in. Having those familiar faces will have to make things easier, especially in the beginning.

Even though I'm sure Jimin will be fine, I am wondering what the best way to cope with all of this will be. It feels a little weird to be worried about his fans in a situation like this but at the same time I know I'm not the only one who cares deeply for him and will be impacted by this situation. I think my game plan right now is to light a candle that day for Jimin and send out some positive vibes for his happiness and a safe return, but if anyone has some good suggestions please share.

I probably won't be able to be super active on here until after the holidays are over, but if I think of anything slightly interesting to share I will try and post that when I can. I've also been thinking of what I might want to do in the new year to continue to celebrate Jimin until he comes back. I was considering doing some posts discussing some of my favorite songs or music videos of his, but would be open to suggestions if there is anything you would like to hear my thoughts on. I'm also happy to be here to listen if you need someone to chat with about missing Jimin.

Hope wherever you are you are having a good morning/day/evening/night 💗.

[friendshapedplant]

Okina Matara and Disability

Full disclaimer: I am not a wheelchair user or physically disabled in any way, just an Autistic person passionate about disability activism and a Touhou fan. This piece is being written from that perspective. If any wheelchair users want to share their thoughts on Okina or better seasoned Touhou fans have corrections on translations or lore surrounding her, please do leave them in the reblogs or my inbox!

Okina Matara is one of… probably hundreds of Touhou Project characters by this point (there are SO many of them). She is one of the Great Sages of Gensokyo, creating and maintaining the youkai-thriving land.

She is also a god of many things, but notably for this discussion, the god of disabilities. Being Disability Pride Month, I wanted to throw in my couple of cents about Okina and disability.

Okina as a Character

Okina's debut was as the 6th stage boss, Extra stage boss, and main villain for Touhou Tenkuushou ~ Hidden Star in Four Seasons. Long story short, in search of new servants, she placed doors on the back of several Gensokyo residents, which unleashed their full power. This leads to some chaos for the land, putting the seasons out of wack. It turns out Okina really did this to announce herself to Gensokyo once more and remind everyone of the power she wields.

Okina also plays a role in Touhou Gouyoku Ibun ~ Sunken Fossil World, being the underlying cause of the Black Water Incident in order to bring awareness of Yuuma Totetsu and the Gouyoku Alliance to Gensokyo, the incident's blame easily being placed on them. She also makes minor appearances in a few of the manga, which will be mentioned as needed.

Okina is called a "Secret God," as no one knows the true extent of her power and possibly also because she doesn't have as much presence as the other Gods of Gensokyo. She is one of three Great Sages of Gensokyo, which maintain it's separation from the Outside World and the general order of the land. As such, she holds immense power, claiming she can create youkai, change seasons, and destroy Gensokyo and recreate it with ease. She is filled with pride and arrogance, as you would imagine any nigh-all-powerful being would be.

You might have noticed a lack of mention of disability here. This is something that doesn't really impact her in the stories of this franchise at all, its moreso discussed separate of in-universe media.

Okina's Initial Creation

ZUN, the creator of Touhou Project, is to our knowledge an abled man, so this is a character written without personal experience. She was, at the very least though, written with good intent, as a representation of the strength of disabled people. However, he pulled back on these aspects for her debut out of fear of backlash.

I wanted to show that actually, those people [the disabled] are the stronger ones. To me, the original theme was something like that. But it's hard to make a story that feels good with just that... It's gotten easy to be accidentally insensitive, so you might think that it's be better to go for an easier-to-understand image, but then you could wind up making fun of the disabled... (Quote source)

Despite the popularity of the image of her using a wheelchair, and despite that being ZUNs original intent, he opted out of doing so. Based on the wording, this might not have only been a decision out of fear but potentially also lack of skill in drawing a wheelchair, but this is speculation.

At first the final boss was going to ride in a wheelchair, but that was really difficult. What's left of that is her sitting in a chair. (Quote source)

God of Disability

Okina is stated to be a patron god of several things, a couple others being the stars and silkworm breeding. Technically, she is not a god of disabled people, but those who are discriminated against as a whole. This is another example of ZUNs hesitance, though rather than pulling back, he generalized and encompassed disabled and other minority groups in her godhood.

As a theme, it was difficult to address directly. If I'd used my original title with the kanji for "impairment" [障?], I get the feeling there'd be a mixed reaction. So instead, it became about all kinds of the discriminated, not just the disabled, gathering in the land that would become Gensokyo. And Okina showing up as one of the people who made Gensokyo a place for that kind of person. That's what I wanted to do. (Quote source)

Gensokyo is a place that exists primarily as a safe haven for youkai, who have been largely forgotten by the Outside World. In a sense, Gensokyo is for those who don't belong in "typical society," which would apply to several minority groups that face discrimination. However this dichotomy between the Outside World and Gensokyo is often framed as Reality vs Fantasy, and saying Gensokyo, a place of fantasy, is for discriminated people, either implies escapism or that they don't exist or belong in reality.

Okina's framing as a god of disability (or discriminated people) gets as much development in media as the rest of the things she's god of, which is to say not really at all, to my knowledge. Most of the emphasis of this character is on her power as a god rather than what she's god of, but she is not alone in this depiction when it comes to gods.

Okina's Wheelchair

Despite ZUN opting out of giving her a wheelchair initially, she does have one! In a couple of the mangas, Visionary Fairies in Shrine (the depiction you've probably seen around the most) and Lotus Eaters, both give her a wheelchair. I haven't read these personally but from what I've heard her wheelchair is treated as no big deal.

Both of these are official Touhou media written by ZUN, so they are undeniably canon depictions of Okina using a wheelchair.

It's important to note she is not always depicted seated, most notably standing in her Extra Stage boss sprite and portrait.

This dichotomy of showing her both in a chair and standing is not contradictory. Ambulatory wheelchair users, those who use a chair but can still stand, walk, and/or use other standing mobility aids, are common. In fact, it's something needed more in disability representation, as ambulatory users are often called out for faking disability.

Okina as Disability Rep

Common tropes for disabled characters such as wheelchair users in media is for them to be pitiful, weak, tragic characters who are magically healed. Okina is very much not that! She's literally one of if not the most powerful character in the series, and she takes much pride in herself. Despite this being a world of magic, there is no use of it to cure any disability to my knowledge. ZUN mentioned in those quotes above wanting to show the strength disabled people have, and Okina is a great character to have represent that aspect.

As just mentioned, she can also make for ambulatory user representation, which is not at all common in media. Wheelchair users are more often than not depicted as losing the ability to walk entirely, never separate from their chair, when wheelchair use is not exclusive to that.

She does somewhat fall into the Disabled Villain trope however, where a villain is given some disabled trait (cataract/blind eye, mobility aid, etc.) to make them scarier or more intimidating. For what it's worth, there's a lot of villainous characters in this series, most if not all are able bodied, many intimidating in their own rights. Seeing as she's mainly shown sitting in a throne rather than a wheelchair, this also might come off as more like monarchical intimidation? Unless the idea of someone sitting on a throne being intimidating shares roots with an intimidating wheelchair user. Regardless, the only character with a mobility aid in the series being an antagonistic force might not be a great look to some.

The biggest downside to her rep is it's only found in literature and fandom spaces. She has yet to appear in a game with her wheelchair, even though Sunken Fossil World came out after the manga depictions of her. Seeing as the games are the franchises most popular media, only fans devoted enough to the series will really see that representation.

Wait, Is Okina Disabled?

So far, Okina as a disabled character and god for disabled people has been a bit of a rough case, being done so hesitantly but with the best of intentions, though in my opinion could be worse. However, we were given what I can only call a curve ball in 2020.

By the way, Okina is shown to be standing up in the Extra Stage, so it isn't that she actually has any leg impairments. She isn't saying that she has a disability, but that she is a disability, and that such a disability is a necessary thing for this world. (Quote source)

The mention of her not having "leg impairments" and implications this means she isn't disabled is a sign of ZUNs lack of research and insight on this topic. "Leg impairments" are but one of many things that can lead to someone using a wheelchair, and as mentioned earlier, not everyone using a wheelchair uses it full-time. This is imperfect reasoning for why she isn't disabled.

Personally, I'm not sure what to make of her being a disability instead of being disabled, and disability being a necessity. I don't feel I have the authority to draw such a conclusion either, so I will leave that to other disabled people to interpret.

This section doesn't seem to be yet be common knowledge of the fandom, which is understandable with its relative recency and source being a book. It is important to point out for this though, as ZUN is explicitly saying she isn't disabled, but a disability (whatever that may mean, for better or worse).

Okina and Fandom

Google "Touhou Okina" and one of the top suggested results I can guarantee is "wheelchair." It brings up several articles and posts discussing what I've previously quoted here about ZUNs original intentions, some memes about Okina using a wheelchair (both neat and mocking), and of course fanart.

Drawing Okina with her wheelchair from the manga and in general isn't uncommon. Funny enough, scrolling through her tag here on Tumblr I found a fanart post where OP only recently realized Okina being disabled* wasn't just a meme. (*Like I said the quote from the previous section is not seemingly common knowledge)

We went over in the previous section how Okina technically isn't disabled, but I am personally more than willing to overlook it and view her as disabled anyways. Maybe she doesn't have impaired legs, but she's prone to fainting or unsteady balance.

Conclusion

Okina is an interesting as hell character with some strong if misguided representation. Like I said at the beginning, I am not physically disabled or a wheelchair user, but I feel ZUNs hesitation to call her a God of Disabilities and making her actually disabled do not reflect to well on him, even if he has the best of intentions. Luckily a nice chunk of the fandom has taken the representation given by her very well, claiming her as disabled when her creator won't.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Yellowcard - Southern Air (Twelfth Anniversary Retrospective) [Featuring @jakeh2987]

In the summer of 2012, I dove headfirst into the genre of pop-punk. I was familiar with the genre already, having already been a fan of bands like Paramore, Fall Out Boy, and Blink-182, and having heard some stuff from New Found Glory, Man Overboard, and some other random bands, the album that opened the floodgates was 2011’s Under Soil & Dirt by The Story So Far. That album really introduced me to the genre, and I was head over heels for it. I needed something new to listen to, because I was getting bored with metalcore and post-hardcore, but that album opened up a whole new world to me. It came out in 2011, but I think I found it in the summer of 2012, because I remember finding it later.

That summer also happened to have four major pop-punk releases, although they were major to me. All Time Low first dropped Don’t Panic, which was a return to form for the band after going to a major label, but then in the span of two weeks, With The Punches and I Call Fives dropped their debut albums, then Yellowcard dropped Southern Air. I was familiar with them, knowing the title track to 2003’s Ocean Avenue, but that was it. I heard “Always Summer” a few months before the album came out, and I really enjoyed that song, so I made a note to check out the whole thing. Sure enough, Southern Air ended up being one of my favorite albums of the year.

The album turns twelve this year, and I wish I would have done a 10-year retrospective on it a couple of years ago, but better late than never, right? This is an album that means a lot to me, not only for being one of the first pop-punk albums that I got into, but it still holds up all these years later. This record means a lot to me, especially for the sense of nostalgia I get every time I listen to it, but I’m not here to talk about this album alone. I’m bringing along my buddy Jake to talk about this album, as he’s a big Yellowcard fan. I couldn’t imagine talking about it this with anyone else, so to kick things off, what’s your history with Yellowcard, as well as this album?

Firstly, thanks for having me back to do this! I'm always down to talk about Yellowcard; they're the band I credit most with really getting my foot in the door as far as my love of music goes. Ocean Avenue was the very first album I ever bought in the summer of 2006, and I just fell head over heels for it. It was really one of the first times I could call music "mine," so to speak, because up until then, I'd listen to whatever my family was listening to, and that was a lot of 80s hair metal or the boy bands of the 90s and early 2000s. Funnily enough, though, I didn't keep up with Yellowcard, or pop-punk as a whole, until much later in life. My music tastes kind of shifted a bit after I discovered Linkin Park, and eventually I got into a lot of the super big hard rock bands of that era, like Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin. Yellowcard wasn't particularly on my radar for a long time, until one day in 2012. I was in an FYE, just browsing the new releases when I saw there was a new Yellowcard album out that week. I remember thinking "Aw man, I loved Ocean Avenue, I should check this out for kicks!" So, I bought Southern Air that day, and I had no idea that this band was about to change my life again. We'll get into more about what works about this album, both on its own and in terms of Yelllowcard's discography, but man, hearing this thing for the first time hit me like a wave of nostalgia; six years afrer I discovered Ocean Avenue, it was like I was catching up with an old friend, and we picked up right where we left off.

You’re absolutely welcome, man! I’m glad to have you aboard for this, because I know you’re a huge fan of Yellowcard, especially being the band that got you into music. I can completely relate with having music that feels like “yours,” and that’s what Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High was that album for me (despite listening to a few other albums before then, but that’s the one that stuck). Southern Air came out at the right time for me, because I was just getting into the genre throughout that summer, and after hearing a lot about them, I figured I’d check it out, but I didn’t realize how important that album would end up being, especially all of these years later. It’s always awesome when bands can make you feel like you’re catching up with an old friend, especially after them coming back after so long, whether you haven’t listened to them in so long, or they hadn’t released an album in years. That’s how I felt when Fall Out Boy finally came back last year, but I digress. Before we talk about this album, I think we need some context as to where the band was at the time, because there was a lot going on with them for the last few years before this thing. I listened to this as a stand-alone album, but what was the context surrounding this album and what makes it so important in their discography?

So, after they put out Ocean Avenue, and that album catipulted them into siccess, they put out two more albums, 2006's Lights and Sounds and 2007's Paper Walls. Both of those albums I I feel are very good or even great (Paper Walls in particular I think is actually pretty underrated), but they didn't do as well sales-wise or in terms of fan enthusiasm as Ocean Avenue did, and that, combined with the members wanting to take a break for various life reasons, led to a hiatus in 2008. That would last until 2010, and then they would release their comeback album, When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes. I often think because Southern Air is so beloved and turned out so well, this album gets overlooked, but thinking about it for this piece, it almost feels like a beta test for what would come next. When You're Through Thinking really reignited the love for Yellowcard both for the members themselves and for the fanbase, and they had such a great time making that album, it ended up being a pretty quick turnaround to get to Southern Air in 2012. And boy did it pay off for them; Southern Air ended up debuting in the top 10 of the Billboard 200, their highest charting album since Lights and Sounds in 2006, and the fanbase was universally happy and loving the album. I think outside of Ocean Avenue, many fans would consider Southern Air to be the best thing they've ever done, and honestly, I can't really argue against that. I think you said this when we first started talking about doing this, but it really is a lightning-in-a-bottle type of album. Let's get into why this thing works as well as it does.

Yeah, Southern Air is one of those “lightning in a bottle” kind of albums where everything fits so perfectly into place, and there’s no way that it could ever be replicated. Every moving part came together in such a perfect way to make something that is truly one of a kind, and Southern Air is just one of those albums for me. Even without any context going into this, you can hear a renewed sense of energy and vigor that the band seemingly hadn’t had in so long. There’s so much energy here, minus for what I argue to be the emotional crux of the album (and one of the most heart wrenching and unique pop-punk songs I’ve ever heard, even 12 years later), but you can tell they were having a blast working on this, and aside from When You’re Through Thinking, this truly feels like a return to form, so to speak. This isn’t just one of my favorite albums of 2012, but it’s one of my favorite pop-punk albums, period. A lot of the genre is youthful in tone, and it’s not meant to be so timeless, but I’ve found that this album has only aged better with time, both for its music and its lyricism. It just keeps getting better after every year. If anything, this album retains the youthful spirit of their earlier work, but there’s a sense of maturity and growing up that lingers throughout it. I was a year out of high school when this album came out, and I didn’t have any idea what I was doing with my life, but this album felt so relatable to me, because one of its biggest themes is getting older and feeling lost, and that’s a theme I still relate to all these years later. What do you think, though? What makes this album work so well for you?

You know, I think you really hit the nail on the head when you talked about the youthful energy mixed with this almost world-weary maturity that makes Southern Air work so well and why it's held up as well as it has. The themes of growing up yet feeling uncertain of where life is going or being afraid to take that next step I think is something almost anyone can relate to, especially at our age. So often, there's this pressure to have it all figured out by the time you hit your 30s, and as someone who turns 32 in December, this album really cuts to the heart of that. "Here I Am Alive" is the song that really drives this home for me; it's a song about being unsure of what's ahead, but ultimately being okay with that and being ready to take that on. You alluded to it earlier, but we also gotta talk about the song "Ten," because man, what a gut-punch this one was when I first heard it, and even still now. The song was written about vocalist Ryan Key's then-girlfriend suffering a tragic miscarriage, and when I was listening to the album again for this, I had this thought about this song that I hadn't really thought of before; it's an incredibly emotional song on its own, but within the context of the album, it's a sort of flip on its themes, talking about what could have been and being heartbroken that he'll never get to experience those things with his unborn child.

But even outside of all that, the band as a whole is just in top form here. Southern Air was actually the last album (not counting the acoustic version of Ocean Avenue they would release a year later to celebrate its 10th anniversary) featuring their longtime drummer Longineu Parsons III, and you can tell he's having an absolute blast on this thing. There are so many cool little drum fills he does on this album that always get me hyped when I hear them. The band's secret weapon, violinist Sean Mackin, also has plenty of moments to shine; that solo he has on "Always Summer" really brings that song home. And vocalist Ryan Key had never sounded better than this to that point. I always really liked Key as a vocalist, but here, he's still got that youthful energy in his delivery, but he'd also really improved as a vocalist, and he really sells the emotions in these lyrics, especially on the aforementioned "Ten."

Ryan Key is certainly an integral part on why this album works, and I already mentioned the lyrics a bit, as well as the themes of growing up, getting older, and wondering where you’re going and where your life could be headed, but “Ten” is what I referred to as the emotional crux of the album, especially for what you said about the song flipping those themes about an unborn child and what he would be missing out on by not being born into this world. Miscarriages are a very taboo topic already, and certainly not spoken of in the pop-punk scene, but it brings a lot of the themes of the album together. Key as a vocalist is a big part of why this album works as well as it does, because he’s got such an energetic and invigorating delivery that sucks you into his woes and revelry. His delivery is youthful, but world weary, so it has that nice balance between jaded and naive.

The rest of the band is killer, too, and I think this album works so well for me, personally, because it’s the perfect distillation of their sound, but a modernized and mature version of it, albeit at the time, anyway. I also think they made this album knowing full well they would never be a full-fledged pop-punk band, and it might seem to be a farewell to their old sound, at least until their latest EP from 2023. Even then, that EP certainly does not try to top their classic material, let alone this album. Their last couple albums before their hiatus were some of their more adventurous albums, and they dove into stuff that they hadn’t done before, so this feels like a farewell to their youth, both literally and metaphorically.

Before we close this out, I have one final question to ask, and we can discuss a bit — I know you said was a fan favorite, but where do you rank this among their body of work, let alone would this be a good album to recommend someone new to th band? Personally, this is my favorite Yellowcard album, both for its nostalgia and musicianship. Ocean Avenue is a close second, but I don’t have that nostalgia for it the way I do with this one. I also would say this album is perfect for new fans, because of its immediate sound, and its very mature and adult themes.

It's interesting, because while I think I'll always put Ocean Avenue above anything else because it was *the* album for me, I can't really argue against Southern Air being their magnum opus. It has all the best parts of what makes this band so special, and it's packaged in a modern coat of paint that, like you said, is a pretty good way for someone to get into them. Not to discredit their other work, either, but I do think Suothern Air and Ocean Avenue are at the top, and then it's kind of the rest of their discography. But you know, it's gotta be pretty damn cool to know you've made two classic albums that have stood and will continue to stand the test of time, in two different eras of your career, no less! I will say, though, for this album especially, I think When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes is an important album in that it was a launching pad for what we'd get with Southern Air, and without that initial comeback, we're not sitting here today talking about this album. And for their later mateial, I'm more mixed on Lift A Sail, and their self-titled album is probably not gonna have quite the same impact now that it's not their final release, but they're all very soldi in their own ways and worth a listen. I'm hoping the Childhood Eyes EP ends up being much like When You're Through Thinking, in that it's a great first step for what will come next.

Ocean Avenue is always going to be their biggest album, just for how important it was to the 00s pop-punk scene, but Southern Air has that maturity that Ocean Avenue doesn’t. It doesn’t make that album bad, by any means, but Southern Air hit me at the right time. That’s the best way to go out talking about this album, though — Yellowcard have one hell of a legacy. They dropped two classic albums in a ten-year period, as well as many other albums people love, and how bands can say they have two, let alone one, classic albums under their belt? I’m excited for their future, especially if their future material is anything like Childhood Eyes. That’s a great stepping stone, especially in the way that When You’re Through Thinking was. It’s good they’re back, because the pop-punk scene was missing one of its best bands, even if their later stuff doesn’t quite have the same critical appeal as their earlier stuff. As always, though, it was a real pleasure talking with you about an album we love! There’s never any time I wouldn’t want to talk about this album.

Thank you again for having me! This has been such a great time, revisiting this album in general and thinking about it and talking about it like this. I can't wait to see what we get up to next!

[randomvarious]

Technotronic - "Pump Up the Jam" 1989 House / Hip-House / Eurodance / New Beat / Eurohouse

Here we go, folks; it's the big one. Belgian dance project Technotronic's legendary debut single, 1989's "Pump Up the Jam," is, whether you like it or not, one of the most important songs in the history of music. And that's because it was the *very first* house track to ever *massively* cross over onto the American pop charts, managing to peak at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, while also dominating many other charts across the globe as well. And in retrospect, as far as the music itself went, it wasn't really anything all that new; but for people who were completely unaware of the underground house tracks that had been pumping out of Chicago since the mid-80s, this song sounded like it could have been shot out of a cannon from Neptune, before incidentally puncturing our very own troposphere. Like, do you know what the #1 song in all of America was when this thing hit its eventual peak in January of 1990? Michael Bolton's "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You." So, imagine getting bludgeoned by that literal one-two punch on your contemporary hit radio station in the dead of winter thirty-three years ago. Nothing like that had *ever* happened before.

Now, yesterday I got into Technotronic's biggest ever controversy, which was that the lycra-clad girl in the iconically curious and candy-colored music video, who was the same person that appeared exclusively in the group's album art, and who also even went on TV multiple times to perform the group's lone hit herself, was actually a lip-syncing model named Felly who didn't even speak any English. But I'm not going to be relitigating much of that in this post today.

What I am going to be doing, however, is digging into how this track itself came to be made, because there really is quite a long and interesting backstory to it, and it doesn't even begin with anyone who was actually in Technotronic.

See, the tale of how "Pump Up the Jam" first came to fruition actually starts in Chicago in 1988, with this house track here by the legendary Farley "Jackmaster" Funk called "The Acid Life." Trip on this tune and you'll immediately hear where Technotronic derived one of the most recognizable intros in the history of contemporary music from:

The rippling rhythm of the acid bass pulsations? And the idea to set them between incessantly rattling, pressure-cooked hi-hats too? All of this was actually Farley's invention. Crazy, right?

Now, as far as I can tell, Farley was never officially credited on any of Technotronic's own records as a songwriter for "Pump Up the Jam," but according to a very informative Google-Translated Belgian article I was able to find, he still did end up receiving gains from it 🤘.

But this was really just a starting point for the song. After its first few bars, producer Jo Bogaert would end up taking his tune in a very different direction from that of Farley's. And the first sign was the little taste of string synth that he gave that would later go on to define a piece of Technotronic's own sound.

Now, Jo Bogaert had already become something of a successful musician in Belgium before he'd ever even met the other members of Technotronic. He was a pioneer of this genre that was pretty much only popular in Belgium called new beat, with a trio of hits between '87 and '88 that were released under the moniker of Nux Nemo: "Hiroshima," "Chinatown," and "Asian Fair."

But at a certain point, his productions would end up seeing diminishing returns from the record-buying public, and, as a result, his own label, Clip Records, had found itself struggling too. Bogaert had another idea though, and it was fueled by Farley "Jackmaster" Funk's "Acid Life." He, like so many other European musicians, had a dream of actually breaking big in America. And he would end up using part of an American record to actually do it.

So, with his near-reproduction of the open from "The Acid Life" to kick off his own tune, he ended up cobbling together a similar pair of raw, absolute stompers and pressing them to a 12-inch. Both tracks sampled some dialogue from Eddie Murphy's Delirious set, and under the alias of Pro 24's, Bogaert would title this record...wait for it... "Technotronic."

And these two tunes would end up serving as the blueprint for what would later become "Pump Up the Jam."

Now, "Technotronic" didn't do too badly in Belgium, but the CEO at one of the country's biggest labels, ARS Records, thought that it could maybe become a much bigger hit if Bogaert had agreed to make some changes to it. There was a fusion genre that set party rap lyrics to house beats that was gaining popularity in other countries called hip-house, and he thought Bogaert's song could be retooled into a smash if he followed that formula.

But creating a hip-house record would require the talents of a rapper, and Bogaert didn't seem to personally know any. However, he had heard from someone about this sixteen year-old biracial girl originally from Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of the Congo) named Ya Kid K, who was in a crew called Fresh Beat Productions, and who also had her heart set on recording an album. And as Ya Kid K likes to half-jokingly put it herself, she also happened to be the *only* female black MC in all of Belgium at that time too 😅.

So Bogaert sent out demos to some Belgian rappers and, fortunately, Ya Kid K ended up answering his call. She would take about fifteen minutes to write some inanely hooky lines over his track and then it would take another twenty minutes to record the whole thing itself. The first words out of her mouth ended up being "pump up the jam," so that's what they decided to call their song. They could've called it something like "Make My Day" instead, given how many times that that line was repeated, but M/A/R/R/S had a pretty big hit in "Pump Up the Volume" a couple years prior too, so Bogaert and Ya Kid K were probably trying to chase some of that tune's glory as well.

Bogaert would then release the record on his own Clip label under the name of Technotronik and take it to ARS. And upon hearing it, they were very impressed, but they also said that if they were to pick up the record, the vocalist would also have to be the star, and Ya Kid K didn't want to be in a music video or on an album cover. So, without her knowledge, they went and enlisted Felly to fill those roles instead.

ARS then released the record, and a bunch of labels in other countries picked it up too, and then, miraculously, this song was everywhere. Finally, there was this throbbingly weird and super catchy house tune with a very boisterous vocal that was awkwardly commanding us all to have a good time on the dancefloor; and it came equipped with rap lyrics that you could easily anthemically chant and a beat that you could seriously dance your ass off to as well, as Felly and some other kid would put on display for us in the music video themselves. Clearly, ARS was onto something with their vision for this earworm.

Now, were there better produced house tracks out there than this one in 1989 and 1990? Unquestionably. But because it happened to be unleashed upon a public that was largely unaware of house music altogether, this is the one that just so happened to really break down the barrier that was continually keeping house separate from pop.

And not long after "Pump Up the Jam" conquered, Madonna would drop "Vogue," a song that really managed to successfully mesh pop with house, and even featured a spoken-word rap on it too. It's not to say that Madonna was directly influenced by "Pump Up the Jam" to cut her own house track, but the extremely wide acceptance of Technotronic's debut single over the prior handful of months appeared to lay the groundwork for "Vogue" to then subsequently reign as the undisputed song of the summer for 1990. The door for dance music to finally make its return to the American mainstream for the first time since disco had died had finally been opened, and this unexpected triumph from Belgium seems to be the one that really kickstarted the whole trend. Jo Bogaert's dream of making a big American hit had come true, and Madonna, who loved working out to "Pump Up the Jam" herself, would take his group on her Blonde Ambition world tour as the opening act, with Ya Kid K as Technotronic's rightful frontwoman.

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