#like listen. i used to not be able to stand without being in agony. now i just stand around sometimes.

[fatal-blow]

every time i talk about this stuff I'm reeling with the sheer amount of knowledge and how to convey it to the average layperson

but really if i could sum up everything I've learned about muscles, myofascial pain, and hypermobile, it's this:

start practicing how to do things with the least amount of muscles as possible.

[luveline]

jadey - HONEY - listenlistenlisten, so I feel like you said you'd write for hopper?? but if not (because he's not on the official list) please ignore this request! BUT would you be able to write something about hopper visiting reader in the hospital after she was almost posessed by vecna?? whether this is still early stages of relationship or already established, you pick, gorgeous!! (also ik this means no hopper/joyce but personally I prefer hopper/me??) xoxoxo BIG SMOOCHES

ty for your request, love u! ♡

Nobody would ever believe you, but you know it's Hopper from the smell. You've missed him for months, and though the scent of him wore away from his sweatshirt before you thought you had time to memorise it, you know without opening your eyes that it's him sitting beside you. 

Your heart monitor beeps loud and erratic. 

"Don't," he says quietly. "Don't freak out." 

It won't listen to him, how could it? Not even the oily fog of painkillers can dull the reality of him being here, right here, this close. 

"You're supposed to be dead," you croak, peeling your eyes open achingly slowly. 

"Aren't you a little old for teen angst?" he asks. 

He's real. He's real, you're exhausted, you almost died, but he's alive. Tears well in your eyes of their own accord, not a lick of choice in it as Hopper takes your arm into his hand. 

"You look sick," you say tearily. 

"Nice. You look worse."  

"Where's your," —you gesture to his body— "everything?" 

He's lost a dramatic amount of weight, hollows sunk under his eyes. He grins despite your insult and leans back in his chair, hand sliding down toward yours, fingers pushing between your knuckles to twine them together firmly. "Russian weight loss program. Like it?" 

You're honestly not sure. Maybe when the shock has worn off you'll feel strongly either way, but right now it's his obvious alive-ness that takes centre focus. 

"I missed you," you say. You've not even a syllable into 'missed' when your voice disappears, the agony of your admission knocking the air from your lungs in one callous blow. "I missed you so much." 

He squeezes your hand. "I know. I'm sorry." 

You start to sit. Hopper stands and slips his hands behind your shoulders, helping you up with a tenderness you've dreamt about every night since he disappeared. There was no time to define what you were to one another, all these months you've been grieving a maybe, but you know the connection you had was more than real when he reaches down the millisecond you reach up. His lips smashed to your forehead and his big hands spread and searching like he's trying to stop you from falling away from him, you splutter as the air is knocked from your chest again. 

"Sorry I wasn't here to look after you," he says.

He hugs you for so long you figure you must be dreaming. There's a familiarity to his embrace even if the feel of him has changed, security with a little less padding. "What happened to you?" you ask hesitantly. 

"What happened to me? You just had something– someone in your head. You almost broke your neck, you could've died." 

"I'm lucky. I am. It could've been worse." It was worse for others. Your voice wobbles embarrassingly. It doesn't put Hopper off. You used to worry that being younger than him would make you too different; you aren't a kid but you haven't lived a life as agonisingly detailed as he has. You're scared there won't be room in his head for your weight, too, but there always is. "You're back," you say, relieved.

"I'm back." 

You breathe out. 

"Let me see you," he demands, drawing away to check you over. 

Your skin is clammy and has been for days, you weren't sleeping —sleeping meant dreaming. Hearing the toll. You've chased sleep with coffee and caffeine pills and bad TV, each day going a little more insane with wanting Hopper back. There were moments when you knew for sure he was dead, and moments you hated yourself for entertaining the idea. Whatever you deserved, he's here, wiping your sleep crusted eyes with a careful thumb. 

"Well, you're still a sight for sore eyes." 

"Yeah?" you ask, laughing until you cough. "I look good in the gown, right?" 

"Better out of it," he suggests, kissing the top of your head. He lingers there too long. You can read his mind for that single moment. 

He's not happy with himself for letting you face it alone. Which begs the question. What kept him away?

"Hop, where have you been?" you ask gently. 

"I'll tell you everything after you eat something." 

"Me?" 

"I almost forgot how rude you are," he says, rubbing your cheek fondly. "Shit. Like I could forget a thing about you." 

You take his hand from your face to clear a path. "That's romantic. Hit your head while you were gone?" He nods, hangs his head, lets you cover the back of it with your hands. You pull him forward, searching for hair he doesn't have. "What did they do to you?" you murmur sadly. 

"Don't say that. The neck up is as good as it gets." 

"I don't believe that for a second," you say, though you worry about what he means. "You better go find me something to eat. I want to know everything that's happened." 

"Got a waiting room full of people who aren't gonna like that," he says, lifting his head.

"I really, truly don't care," you say, still so softly. "I've been waiting to see you again for a long time. They can… they can walk a mile in my shoes." 

"Whatever you want." Hopper clasps your elbow. "Anything you want." 

[dabislittlemouse]

Hmm, how about “Hey there little miss,“+ Dabi ( noncon with chase kink🤤) Hope it’s not difficult, I’m excited to know what you come up with!🤗

“𝑯𝒆𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔..”

-Dabi x Reader smut (tw: noncon, MDNI)

2K FOLLOWERS EVENT

It was supposed to be a fun night out with your friends at the downtown bar to celebrate your graduation. Though it turned out far from it the moment a certain individual stepped in, entering inside as if he owned the whole place. You of course minded your own business, but you couldn’t ignore the way his presence was so heavy to the point the whole room quieted down.

The man was wearing a hood, you couldn’t fully see his face but his eyes were noticeable, sharp blue eyes that looked like they’re almost glowing under the shadow of the hood. You found yourself staring at him longingly while your friends were chatting with each other, completely unaware of the actual danger creeping by. He approached a certain person near the counter who kept drinking and laughing with his buddies, not even glancing at him. His hand was placed on his shoulder, gripping it tightly and the group quieted down, looking confused.

“The hell you want?!” the man said, clearly annoyed by the interruption.

“So you’re that piece of shit who spied on us, huh?”

His voice sent shivers down your spine. It clearly brought no good news. Your instincts screamed at you to tell your friends to get the hell out of here immediately.

“Spy?! What are you even talking abou-” Before he could speak further, the mysterious man removed his hood, revealing his dark spiky hair. Now you could see his face, his terribly familiar scarred face with staples holding it. Your eyes widened in terror.

“Guys!” you whispered, grabbing your friends attention. Your face went pale, recognising the heinous villain who’s been burning several towns and people. “We need to leave! Now!”

“Leave?! What do you mean? We just arrived” one of your friends replied.

“No listen to me, we need to-"

In a second, screams and a bright blue filled the whole bar. You saw that the villain had set the man on fire, he was burning alive and screaming in agony as the blue flames ate his skin and melted his bones. Panic filled everyone, people started running and screaming, reaching for the nearest exit, pushing each other to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Guys!!! Guys wait for me!!” you screamed at your friends who were running ahead of you, leaving you behind as the mass of people pushed you. You fell to the ground, not being able to keep up. The bar was set ablaze and smoke got in your lungs, making you cough hard.

As you struggled to stand up, a pair of boots suddenly were right in front of your face. You froze in fear, as your eyes slowly looked up to see the villain, a wicked smile on his face.

“Hey there little miss~” he said seductively, not even bothered by the smoke and flame. His hand reached to grab your arm, making you stand up.

“N-No please!” you whimpered as he slammed you against the wall, pressing his warm body against yours.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you were staring at me earlier” he whispered in your ear, inhaling in your scent and feeding off your fear. “Mmh fuck- such pretty doll you are”

“M’sorry I -I didn’t mean to be rude! Please don’t hurt me-" you squeezed your eyes shut as he grabbed your chin.

“Don’t worry dollface, I already incinerated those who I had in mind. The problem is though, I am still pissed off. Angry. Need to do something to blow off some steam don’t cha think?” he smiled, pressing his now hardened bulge against you. Your eyes widened at his clear indication. Without thinking further your knee came up, hitting him right between his legs, hard. Dabi let out a grunt, crouching down in pain while you ran out from his grasp, heading for the door.

“Ugh- you little fucking whore!”

If he was angry earlier, now he was completely furious. Like a mad hungry beast hunting down its food. And you provoked him enough, bad decision.

The door was blocked by walls of scorching blue flames, no way you could get through them to go outside. Tears started rolling down your face, were trapped inside with Dabi. A hand reached to tug at your hair harshly, pulling you towards him as you let out a scream from the pain. Then he threw you down to the wooden floor, getting on top of you as flames surrounded you both.

“N-No please!! Let me go!” you begged as he began burning off your clothes, the heat making you wince and wail.

“I’d have gone softer on ya doll, but you just had to be a brat, didn’t cha?” he growled, slapping at your bare thighs. “Now I’m mad. And when I’m mad-"

Dabi unzipped his pants, whipping his cock out and then spreading your legs harshly with both of his hands.

“When I’m mad I make sure to burn and break everything in front of me”

You wailed, trying to get away from him but the flames surrounding you both were getting closer. If you moved further your hair would surely catch fire. He buried his head on your neck, biting and sucking on your skin harshly while the tip of his cock pressed againstyour entrance.

“Y’scared?” he asked softly out of nowhere, looking up at you, staring at your teary eyes. His thumb reached to wipe off your tears, an unusual tender action if it wasn’t for the situation you were in.

“Y-yes” you whimpered, hoping that he would have some mercy and let you go.

His grin widened, pulling off the staples of his mouth. “Good”

Without a warning, he pushed himself inside of you, tearing you open without preparation at all. Breath got caught in your throat, the unbearable painful burn between your legs making it impossible for you to even scream. He was big, he would kill you.

“Fuuuuckk so tight f’me” he said as he buried himself completely inside of you, his tip touching your cervix. “Think I’m gonna have so much fun with you from now on”

From now on? Your blood turned cold at the indication between his sentence. But your mind stopped thinking the moment he started moving, thrusting deep and hard in and out of you, grunting on your ear as your tight walls milked him dry.

“So good, this tight fucking pussy of yours- s-shit!”

You sobs and screams got louder as his hands gripped your hips, heating up and leaving nice marks that wouldn’t go away for a while.

“Haahh fuck- who would’ve thought that I’d find such precious gem in a hellhole like this?! Must’ve been a reward from God himself for all the hard work I do. Y’know, taking care of trash and incinerating them all~” he laughed, still thrusting inside of you as he savored the scared expression on your face. He was vile and terrifying, marking your body from the inside out while you could do nothing but take on his anger and frustration.

With a few more thrusts, you felt him throbbing inside of you.

“N-Not inside!” you screamed but he totally ignored your pleas, his hips stuttering as he reached his high. His cum, warm and thick completely coated your walls white, dripping out of your sore cunt as well, followed by a guttural groan from the villain. His eyes rolled back as he enjoyed every second of it, as if he hadn’t cum in years.

“F-Fuck, shit doll! Came s’much” he breathed out, looking at the mess beneath him. He reached to lick your cheek, savouring your salty tears.

“I think I’m gonna keep ya princess” he chuckled, pinching your cheek. “Let’s get the hell outta here, I don’t want you turning like me”

[xxx-angie]

"please"

radioapple smut bottom alastor, drugging/spiked drink, somewhat dub-con (use of aphrodisiacs but otherwise consensual), tail/hair pulling, begging

1139 words

inspired by 1 | inspired by 2

alastor presses an ear to the side of the door, listening to the pacing of lucifer whose on the phone with asmodeus.

someone had spiked charlie’s drink, and alastor, needing to show he was a better father, drank the entire thing. only, he was not aware of what kind of drug it was. husk explained it and its effects and the radio demon was just able to play it off luckily. he managed to get to his room as quick as he could without being suspicious, where he practically collapsed.

then charlie sent her dad to check on him, who found him curled up on the floor panting.

so now they were here, lucifer on the phone trying to get a cure as quick as possible.

“you have antidotes for this sorta thing, right? yeah, he’s an overlord- how long is that going to take? a-alright.” the demon king sighs as he hangs up the phone. then footsteps began to approach and alastor backs up a little. he watches as the short male walks into his room, then that short prick bends down to a crouch like he was talking to a fucking child. “h-hey, al… how are you feeling?”

alastor looks up at him with an annoyed smile. “f-fine.” fuck.

lucifer sighs. “it’s… going to be a couple days until that antidote can get here.” he says, looking down at the sinner with a concerned look. “are you going to be okay until then?”

alastor nods, and reaches for the armchair to pull himself up. “i-i just need to… rest…” his legs shake beneath him and his tail quivers. he pants and whines as he tries to keep what dignity he can.

the king frowns as he watches the sinner struggle to even stand. “why don’t you come to my room? you can lay down and wait this out?” he offers. “i can even teleport us over so no one has to see you?”

the taller looks at the pale demon and grits his teeth as he nods. “fine.” lucifer picks the radio demon up and before alastor can retort, he has them in lucifer’s room. he sets the darker down on the bed and watches as the grabs a pillow and curls up. “let me know if you need anything.” the king turns around and heads for the door.

“l-lucifer…?” the red-haired demon says just as the shorter male opens the door.

“yes?” he turns back around and sits on the edge of the bed.

“i-” alastor sits up and looks at the other. “i can’t handle this on my own… please…”

the pale man backs up a bit. “i-i don’t want to take advantage of you or anything…”

the radio demon leans forward and grabs the front of the demon king’s suit. “please! this is agony!”

seeing the darker reduced to such a state… lucifer sighs and wraps his arms around alastor’s waist, whispering a “fine” as he leans in and kisses him. he feels the deer demon’s arms wrap around his neck, pulling him in closer.

he pushes alastor down onto the bed and grinds down against him. the male underneath him lets out a moan and lucifer slips his tongue into the other’s mouth. the radio demon reaches up and begins to undress the paler. the demon king pulls back for air, panting. ”turn around.” he demands.

he watches with a grin as the sinner listens to his command, turning over onto his stomach with an embarassed blush on his face. the king pulls down alastor’s pants and boxers, revealing his ass.

he spreads his legs and presses his tongue to the darker’s entrance, gently lapping at it. the radio demon moans and wriggles a bit. “still.” lucifer growls and grips onto the tall demon’s hips. he pulls him closer and pushes his tongue inside.

alastor grips onto the sheets, burying his face into them as he moaned out the other’s name. his tail wags wildly back and forth. the pale king grabs his tail tight, holding it in place. “i though i told you to stay still.” his demonic form creeps through a bit as he glares down at the younger demon, who has ears pressed down.

the sinner looks back at him with narrowed eyes, before he mutters out a weak “sorry.”

“sorry what?” lucifer grabs onto his hair, pulling it and forcing his head up.

alastor whines and closes his eyes. “s-sorry, sir.” he pants. the king lets go of his hair with a satisfied huff.

he decides that the deer demon's twitching hole is wet enough, and pushes two fingers in. the sinner gasps at the sudden intrusion and reaches for a pillow. he digs his claws in and bites down, shaking as lucifer began to rub them in and out. drool spills from the corner of his mouth as a third finger is added and lucifer's hand goes even deeper. then he feels him hit a special bundle of nerves. “s-shit!” he curses as he arches his back further into the bed.

of course lucifer notices and takes advantage of it. he focuses on the dark-skinned demon's prostate and watches with a smirk as what little dignity alastor had left melted away.

he takes his fingers out which elicits a whine from the other. “miss having something inside you already~?” the demon king teases as he leans close to alastor’s ear.

“j-just shut up and fuck me already…” the radio demon growls at the shorter and glares at him.

lucifer thrusts into him with a growl. “you were saying~?” he bites onto alastor’s earlobe and runs his hands down his sides, feeling his body shake as he moves in and out. the paler begins to nip and nibble at alastor’s neck and presses him further down into the bed.

the king relishes the way that the sinner moans and pleads for more. to have one of hell’s most powerful overlords begging.

“l-lucif-” alastor places one of his hands over the paler demon’s. “i-i- close~” his grip tightens and his eyes squeeze shut as he comes on the sheets beneath him.

lucifer bites into his neck harshly as he feels the darker tighten around his dick. his own grip on alastor tightens as he cums inside him.

he wraps an arm under the deer demon and holds him close. “that could enough for you?” he says in a teasing voice, to which alastor shyly gives a nod in response. the king then gives him a kiss on the cheek and gets him to sleep.

over the next couple of days, lucifer helps alastor with the lust potion’s effects. finally asmodeus gets the specialized antidote to the king and the overlord is free from the effects. it’s after that when alastor decides to pursue an actual relationship with the pale demon.

[pixiescoffeeshop]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚Hello There! My name is....Bluey ya! Anyways, so I was wondering if you could do a number five five by like making him deal with the apocalypse dilemmaજ⁀➴ ⊹₊⟡⋆ and maybe he starts seeing a girl near the coffee shop and starts telling his mind out to her? Could you I mean ya , I'm not the best at request...

Stay Bright Pix˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

𐙚₊˚⊹ like i’m stuck in an apocalypse.

a requested five hargreeves short fic . . 📞🐈‍⬛

context : five finally gets back from the apocalypse, and when he does, he makes a visit at griddy’s donuts. — and he sees a girl there.

warnings : minor cursing .ᐟ

author’s note : THANKKKK YOU FOR REQUESTING !! also,, so sorry this took a while to respond back to 😭 but i’m here now !! your message is so sweet, stay bright too friend 🤍 without further ado, happy reading .ᐟ

five didn’t want to deal with the whole .. apocalypse thing, he really just wanted to see his family again. but when that family has their own issues of their own, it’s hard to keep them all in one room without practically slicing each other’s head off.

so late at night, he made his way towards a place from his childhood. a place where they used to be able to still get along. and that was griddy’s donuts.

despite the place being a popular spot in town, looked old and abandoned now. the smell of espresso flourished in the brunette’s nose just moments before he sat down and ordered.

“hello, ready to order?” a girl, younger, had her notepad out, with her own black pen. for the first time in about 50 or more years, he’d recieved a genuine smile from her. she looked kind and sweet. his gaze had been broken off once she waved her hand in his face.

“oh uh — yeah, um,” he looked down at the menu. “can i just get some coffee? black.” five handed the waiteress the menu. she wrote down on her notepad with a nod, “coming right up.” she gave another wide smile before walking to the back to grab that cup of hot coffee for him.

a few minutes later, she came back and placed the cup before him. “enjoy.” she spoke. “thank you,” he glanced at her name tag.

(name).

“(name).” he nodded at her as he sipped the coffee. she gave another smile before turning and walking away.

— 𐙚₊˚⊹ ☕️

(name) continued to clean in the back as she listened to her tunes through her headphones. she hummed to the beat as she sweeped, and once she finished with the dishes and everything else and pulled her headphones off her head.

and instead of the usual chatter and noise that echoed across the diner, there was no noise at all. it was dead and completely silent.

the girl walked out from the back and found only but unconscious and bloodied bodies on the floor. only standing in the middle of the room was the same boy that ordered the black coffee.

the boy turned around to face her, her jaw practically on the floor. his eyes widened, thinking she’d scream or yell. —

“holy shit.”

was the only thing she breathed. five hunched over, the side of his stomach stinging. she picked up her feet and quickly took the first aid from the back of the kitchen. she ran over to the uniformed boy and let him lean on counter, his face painted with agony.

she panted, looking over at the bloody wound his hand held and his face. “remove your hand. i’ll — i’ll try treating it.” she opened the first aid, “agnes? agnes!” she yelled for the other waitress but did not get a response back.

“damn it, she must’ve bolted the second she heard the gunshots — why, — why, how?” she started asking questions as she treated the wound. he hissed, “i’m sorry! sorry.” she repeated, treating it a little more gently.

as she bandaged it, he sighed with relief. “who are you? did you kill these men?” (name) furrowed her brows at him. he shook his head, staring at her eyes. “i mean — yes. i did, but,” he let out a heavy sigh.

she bit her lip, how would she get him to talk?

“i’m (name) (last name). i’m a daughter, i’m only fourteen. but, i wanna know your story.” he continued to drown himself in her eyes. “five hargreeves. i’m thirteen but my consciousness is really older than it looks.” he clicked his tongue.

they continued to sit in silence, (name) leaned her back on the counter beside him. “you mean, the hargreeves family? the superhero family?” then her eyes widened. “you’re the boy. the one who went missing years ago.” five scrunched his face.

“how’d you know that?” he asked. “people talk.” she winked. he rubbed the bandaged side of his stomach. “i have five days to get rid of an apocalypse. in. this. body.” he emphasized with another heavy sigh. she wanted to ask more questions, but she let him unload before asking anything else.

“and my family’s are filled with crack-headed assholes, and the handler’s up my ass.” he scratched the back of his neck. she smiled a little at the sight and thought of a little boy cursing as such. “and the thing is,” he sighed again as he sat up.

“i wanted to go here to unwind and remember the only times me and my siblings ever got along.” he played with his fingers. (name) watched him talk. “but now, they’re just.. a bunch of dipshits.” he tossed one of the dead guy’s arms away.

“what about you? i’ve been stuck in an apocalypse to experience high school, how is it?” he finally asked her.

“like i’m stuck in an apocalypse.” she retorted back with a smile in attempts to lighten the mood. he snickered lightly, “always thought it would seem so. thank you, (name).” he finally returned the smile.

she smiled wider, “hey, you intrigued me. can’t help it.”

[sunniedesi]

Future Diary "The Live World": Part 3!

As mentioned in my last post, this part will go over the creation of 12th's costume for "The Live World" concert. First, we have the following post from Yoshihisa Kawahara (12th's VA):

Note: the pictures included in the blog are missing here because they weren't archived by the Wayback Machine.

Yesterday, on the 29th, I participated at the event “Future Diary The Live World” held at Shibuya AX ♪ I want to thank my fellow members of the Future Diary cast, the absolutely wonderful artists and all the staff who supported us from behind the scenes! And as always… my biggest thanks go to everyone in the audience! Even though it’s been a long time since the broadcast ended, so many people came… I truly have nothing but words of gratitude for everyone! It was the best night ever, all I could feel was: “wow, the work I was involved in is so loved!” The warm cheers from the audience is something I’m very grateful for!! I’m not like Murata-chan, but I almost felt a little teary-eyed. At times like this, I wish I could say something clever or straightforward, but right now… all I can express is my gratitude. To everyone in the audience, thank you from the bottom of my heart! I even said this at the event, but I sincerely hope that we’re able to meet again, in a bright future ahead. I wish I could write a fun insider report on the event, but I was so busy with this and that on the day that I don’t have any details I can show for it…  Instead, I’ll write a rough summary of the day. My thoughts were something like… “Murata-chan and Togashi-chan really did their best as the leads!”  “Minoru-san did amazing as both a singer and an MC” (he actually helped me a lot as a first-time MC) “Aizawa-chan looked adorable in that girlish dress.”  “OLDCODEX looked great… wait, huh? Tatsu (lead singer) is so… *swoon*” That sort of stuff. HAHAHA, these sound like a child’s thoughts, don’t they? But seriously… I’m sorry I couldn’t give a proper report of the day. I regret not being able to properly listen to all the wonderful artists (^-^;). I wish I could hear them sing again! Ah, anyway, going back to me… to be honest, just hearing the phrase “singing in public” makes my knees shake, it gives me dizziness, palpitations, shortness of breath, almost makes me wet myself, because I’m so bad at it… So when they asked me to sing at Future Diary The Live World, I felt my soul ascend (a.k.a. I thought I was gonna die (/j lol)).  After all, don’t you think that having me stand on a stage next to professional singers would feel like hell? We’re like night and day, you know? Is this a display of public humiliation? In front of the entire audience at Shibuya AX, no less. What do they want from me? What do they want me to do? Kiss someone? Take a bath? Or do they… just.want.me?  AHHHHH! Wait, wait… I just… don’t know how to give the audience what they want!! And so, after many hours of agony and slight (?) confusion… I arrived at the answer.  Huh? Where? HERE!! (Photo of his 12th cosplay.) Since I’m not a good singer, I thought: “I have to go all out!” to make sure everyone enjoys my performance, so I decided to cosplay the 12th, Hirasaka Yomotsu, at the concert. I-I wonder if everyone liked it (worried). I hope they did. Speaking of the 12th’s costume… I would like to mention that I couldn’t have completed it without the help of true allies of justice. First of all, this incredibly well-crafted belt was handmade by no other than… Future Diary’s screenwriter, Takayama Katsuhiko-san. When we were recording the last part of Future Diary, he approached me and said: “I’ll make you the belt if you do the cosplay at the concert, okay?” so I took his word and asked him to make the belt before the event… (Photo of the belt) It looks amazing, doesn’t it? Whoa! He actually made it based on the original design!

“I molded it with Sculpey on a base cut from aluminum, and added a reflective red plate to make it shine like a light!” Takayama-san said it so nonchalantly… I wonder how he, a screenwriter, can have so many amazing skills. (Murmuring) He’s a scary guy (^-^;). Isn’t he? This is the kind of thing where you say: “I’ll pay for it, with cash!!” or “at least let me cover the production costs!” But no matter what I said, he firmly refused, telling me: “it’s fine, I made it with materials I had on hand!”… it made me feel so guilty, I had trouble sleeping at night. Thank you so much, Takayama-san! This will become a family heirloom!  Now, as for the 12th’s head… it was made by our cosplay director: Natsuhi Rinko-chan! Despite being busy with other things, she did an amazing job creating the head from a styrofoam ball and other materials. It all started with our manager asking one of our talents: “are you going to cosplay? We have someone who knows all about that stuff.” I honestly thought: “they’ll make a small cosplay, they won’t go as far as to make headgear, right?” I wasn’t very convinced (haha).  But then Natsuhi-chan went: “my cosplay will be used at an official event! AHH!” and crafted it with a lot of joy… she’s such a sweetheart. I’ll have to treat her to a nice meal next time ♪ Natsuhi-chan is a very lively and talented girl, so I’d be happy if you’d support her work ( ´ ▽ ` )!! I was thinking of adding more photos here… but I was so distracted at the event, all I took were pictures of a very excited Natsuhi-chan (lol). Anyway, that’s a quick rundown of the costume I wore. If I have any other stories about the concert, I’ll write them later!  PS I bought the leather boots at the concert since they were on sale… And my heroic black bodysuit IS MY PERSONAL PROPERTY!!

Lastly, we fortunately have the photos of the belt and a description of how it was made thanks to this blog post from Katsuhiko Takayama (Future Diary's screenwriter):

I was commissioned by Kawahara Yoshihisa to make the 12th's transformation belt for the upcoming event: “Future Diary - The Live World,” being held at Shibuya AX on Sunday, July 29th.

It’s a 50 mm-wide gray, nylon belt with a plastic buckle, that I modeled with Super Sculpey clay over an aluminum base. The piping was made with aluminum tubes, as well as the decorations, which I made out of aluminum pipes, cutting the pieces and crimping them onto the belt. With projects like this, I rarely use Sculpey clay for the finish, but it was all I had on hand, and given the time constraints, it was the best option I had. I fixed bolts onto the belt plate to keep the clay from falling off of the aluminum base. I used pink-colored resin for the center. If I had used clear resin on top of the red, it would’ve looked more realistic, but too dark, so I painted the back and the edges silver to make it brighter. When the lights hit it on stage, it will have a more unique color that otherwise wouldn’t come through with just the red paint.

If the time and number of performances was plenty, or the rehearsal time was long, I could’ve made a mold and then created an FRP or rubber protection, to make the model more durable. I also thought of making a spare belt, but given this was a one-time performance and a personal commission from Kawahara-san, I decided to make this a simpler, less costly project.  I also thought of painting different shades of gray to match the color scheme, but since this was for a stage performance, I went with a metallic finish instead. The finish doesn’t look very neat from up-close, but on stage, the reflection of the light emphasizes the metallic effect, giving it a more realistic feel as opposed to a costume. It looks like a prop that a superhero from a comic or movie made himself. This kind of stuff is really fun to make. 

For the first time in my life, I sent out flowers. But, the producer from Kadokawa (Itou) and the producer from Lantis (Saitou) told me with a smile that my job isn’t so much of an executive position, but a social one. Apparently, I should have written my job description as “screenwriter” rather than “series composition.” You live and you learn, I guess.

BONUS: Remember these two pictures from the last post?

Those girls are all voice actresses, but I want to focus on that second picture, the last girl to the right. Her name is Kaori Sadohara, and she also had this post to share:

Hello, Sadohara checking in (￣∇￣). I went to the Future Diary conceeert!!! I had been looking forward to this day for so long. It was the best, simply the best ε=(///ω///)=33 I was already excited before entering the venue (lol) ↓

Everyone was shining on stage! ☆ The cast’s singing was amazing, and I was really happy to hear the OP and ED live as well. This was also my first time seeing Hata Aki-san (singer for 3rd and 6th’s themes) perform, and it was completely captivating. It gave me goosebumps! After the show, I met up with Togashi-san, Aizawa-san, Kawahara-san and Shiraishi-san (*^^*) Everyone was shining on stage! ☆ The cast’s singing was amazing, and I was really happy to hear the OP and ED live as well. This was also my first time seeing Hata Aki-san (singer for 3rd and 6th’s themes) perform, and it was completely captivating. It gave me goosebumps! After the show, I met up with Togashi-san, Aizawa-san, Kawahara-san and Shiraishi-san (*^^*)

Kawahara-san sang in a 12th cosplay, which was also very exciting (lol). It was a wonderful concert… I hope to see a character song-themed concert for “Upotte!!” as well. (Note: Upotte!! is an anime that Misuzu Togashi and Kaori voice acted in.) Ah! We will be updating regularly until August 12th! On August 12th, I’ll be giving away signed CD’s at Comic Market! For more details, please look at my past blog entry :) I’ll cry if you don’t come, seriously! So please, please come <3 See ya 〇(>∀<)〇

You may be wondering why I'm including her in a post supposedly about the 12th... and well, there's a good reason for that.

This is Yoshihisa's wife, whom he married in 2017.

Now, they both knew each other way before the concert (at least since 2011, because they worked together on Nichijou), but there is something so funny to me about the fact that Yoshihisa, unknowingly, cosplayed the 12th in front of his future wife. And in reverse, that was her future husband she was seeing dressed up as a delulu eyeball man.

And honestly? Love that for them.

Now you know fellas, the best way to court a lady is to transform into a mentally ill power ranger with an affinity for dancing in tights (lol).

[athousandboxjumps]

the newsies after the fight

AKA: me planning out headcanons because I want to make this into a fic. Also this is pure angst, you have been warned.

Race gets back to the lodging house first. Of course he does; the combination of long legs and adrenaline means he can run really fast when he needs to. There’s nothing he wants more than to smoke his cigar, but he lost it in the fray and even if he hadn’t, he isn’t sure he’d be able to light it with his shaking hands.

Albert doesn’t speak for a long while. There are a million thoughts buzzing in his head as always but for the first time he can’t form them into words. He just sits on his bed, holding onto Race’s hand for dear life. (Race is secretly grateful for this; he craves the touch just as much as Al.)

Henry can’t stop moving. Even though his ribs ache and it hurts to breathe, he fears the breakdown that will come once he stands still. Instead he floats between the newsies, checking in to make sure everyone is doing okay — or as okay as they can be. He needs to be useful right now or else he’ll completely shut down.

Finch is inconsolable. He can still hear Crutchie screaming his name. He could have turned back. He should have turned back. But like a cowardly little bird, he flew away. The others try to tell him that it’s not his fault, that there was nothing he could’ve done. He doesn’t believe them.

In spite of everything, Specs is thanking the world for small miracles. His glasses didn’t crack; his bruises are only minor; and as Romeo lies sleeping in his lap, he makes a vow to get up as soon as possible the next day and check in on Crutchie. He charts his course through back alleys and fire escapes to make it to the Refuge window without being seen. Right now though, he rests, carding his fingers through Romeo’s hair. Things are going to be okay, Specs would make sure of it.

Tommy Boy won’t let anyone touch Splasher. He finally got the poor boy to stop wailing in agony, and he wasn’t about to let some pair of untrained hands slip up and cause Splasher to end up in more pain than he already was. Instead, Tommy Boy gently wipes the blood from his friend’s brow and whispers soothing words. He places his rosary around Splasher’s neck; Tommy Boy has no idea if Splasher is Catholic or even believes in God at all, but he says a prayer of the two of them all the same.

No one hears from Elmer for a frighteningly long while. An unspoken trepidation that he had been arrested passes through the boys until Jojo silently appears at the doorway with Elmer in tow. He holds a prayer book, his face puffy and red from crying. What he’d said to the sister was right, it had been bound to rain sooner or later. He just hadn’t expected the torrential downpour of his own tears to finally bring him back to church.

Davey and Les come home to a terrified mother and a proud father. Sarah bandages them up, listening to Les’s every word about how things had been going so great until they hadn’t. Mayer jokes that now he and Davey have matching wounds. Davey doesn’t say anything. He can’t stop thinking about Jack.

Jack is nowhere to be found.

[allw3doisadvert1se]

A Shelter in the Storm

It’s been a few cycles now, luckily none of which involving my death.

I managed to find my way back to Swatch and Spamton again, this time without the deliberate friendly fire. The three of us are holding out in a local bank, and luckily the primary vault, while unfortunately empty, can act as a safe room when ABYSS sends different entities after us. Swatch explained that the reason he had Spamton atomize me a cycle previously was that I had been afflicted with something he called Systematic Collapse, the glowing wound I had acquired from a Void Urchin. Apparently it was one of ABYSS’s favorite methods of snuffing someone out in the most efficiently agonizing as possible. The way Swatch saw it, the more people in the Simulacrum that keep dying to that fate, the sooner ABYSS won’t need us alive any longer, so whenever possible he would try to put someone suffering that fate out of their misery.

We briefly discussed what we had been doing before the takeover, and apparently Swatch and Spamton were on route to the mansion to lead some sort of attack on ASO. Now, in times before, I would’ve sooner ended myself than consider a rebel against The Founder’s will an ally, but these are strange conditions we find ourselves in. Frankly, he would’ve tried to kill me too were we still in the mansion rather than in this red hell. With that aside, I figured we’d have to venture out to go find Marcus, Amanda, whoever else ABYSS locked in The Simulacrum with us. If all of us were grouped up, we would stand a better chance against the waves upon waves of anomalous creatures. Less deaths between all of us means less agony for ABYSS, ultimately meaning a bit more time bought for us. And, if we were moving about, maybe we could find some way to shut The Simulacrum down, at least … that’s what I hoped.

We searched for a cycle, occasionally finding odd bits of slightly old food and bringing them back to our home base at the run down bank, but we had very little luck in finding the other survivors. Luckily, our fortunes might be turning back around, as just yesterday, Spamton reported finding a tuft of Tasque fur in a building near a derelict asylum about three miles away. If this was any indication, it likely meant that Amanda was near there, her pet Tasque Rodney supposedly being brought to The Simulacrum with us. We’re planning on making a group trek over there today, and with any amount of good luck we’ll be able to bring Amanda back here.

Being forced to live through this has made me a lot more paranoid, given the unpredictable nature of this place, but it helps having … one sane ally and a mildly amusing puppet to keep me from fully losing it. At the very least we’ve been able to bond over what we lost to ABYSS … but every time we fantasize about ending him, I always feel my skin crawl. He’s in the very air of this place, every city block and collapsed support beam. Perhaps it’s not so wise to speak of ill of those who are listening …

-Everest

[cadrenebula]

Remember

(Warnings ahead for blood, torture, violence, swear words. The usual for Alex. Especially since this is his line of thoughts during his two days of torture in the piece before this. Read at your own risk. I had been listening to Remember by Adema during writing this. Original piece was written Aug 22nd 2017.)

It was all over. He was going to die here. Die like a mongrel. There was no one to save him. No one except Aeri. But how would she find him before it was too late? He was doomed to a slow and painful death.

He was in so much pain. Barely able to even rest for a moment. Only when Jacques let unconsciousness claim him for a few hours did he get to rest. His throat felt raw and savaged from the roaring and screaming. He hadn’t been able to hold back against the pain anymore.

Weakness... He had let himself be weak for a knight of Ishgard. Lancefer...

~~~

He was the only one who ever saw me as something other than a monster back then. Someone who saw the damaged boy beneath the armor. Saw my scars as the story of my survival from hell...

Stay away from him. He’s a freak. Someday he’ll find himself witchdropped. Monster! Savage! Mongrel!

He could still hear the words spat at him over the years. Cold crimson eyes watching people warily. He spat the blood from his mouth onto the ground as he sat huddled in a corner against the cold air. He had won the fight but he’d taken one hell of a beating in the process. Jacques wasn’t going to be pleased. So he was lingering. Not wanting to return for a beating for being so stupid and careless.

Alex snarled as a shadow fell over him.

That hand that reached out to me. The haunted sky blue eyes that seared me. He didn’t back down when I growled at him to go away. Instead all that stupid fool did was help me. Tended to my injuries without asking a damned thing. Despite how wrecked he still was from the fall of the Vigil. It didn’t seem to bother him one damn bit to help a monster like me.

“Why are you helping me?” Alex asked with a defensive tone as he kept a cautious eye on Lancefer while bandaging Alex’s wounds.

“Because I see someone who needs help.” Lance’s tone was almost as hollow as the look in his eyes. The look of someone who had seen too much far too soon. Suffered and was broken by the enemy.

Something about him called to me. Was it because to him I wasn’t a monster? Because he saw past the mask? Through the cold words of others that I used like armor to protect myself? To care about people was a weakness. To let others care about myself was just as bad. I was never wanted before. Why would anyone care now after all these years? Yet he did. Stupid Rose Knight...

~~~

Alex screamed as agony ripped through him. Scattering his thoughts to the wind. To endure this was going to drive him into madness. If he survived long enough for Aeri to find him. Still... Jacques was going to kill Lancefer anyway. It was all his fault. All because of him. Lance would die because of his stupidity.

Lancefer... I’m so sorry I ever got you involved in my hell..

~~~

Alex laughed as he ducked a swing and landed a fist to the man’s gut. Staggering back to bump into Lance’s back. He grinned like a madman as he realized who was at his back. Side by side. Back to back. Alex had picked the fight yet Lance had still stuck by his side to fight with him against the group of thugs. Yet the fighting seemed to bring a spark to Lance’s haunted eyes. Something about standing with Alex in these insane moments seemed to bring a spark back to the boy.

Later they would sit on the wall in the freezing cold. Drinks in hand and bandages wrapped around injuries. A smoke in their free hand. It had taken him time to convince Lance to relax and enjoy the drugs with him. But eventually the boy relented. Perhaps because it was an escape from the mental torment they both suffered.

He could see the boy didn’t sleep well. The smudges beneath his eyes told Alex just how well the boy slept. Probably plagued by nightmares from the Vigil’s fall.

“Living is hard. Dying is easy. You give up an you’re weak. So fight an prove them wrong. Don’t let the demons win.” Alex says before taking a long drag on his smoke. “Besides I plan to live as long as I can just to give people hell.”

~~~

Thirty one summers... Only half his life lived. He was going to die at his mentor’s hand. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. Screw the gods and their lack of care for him. All his life had been one struggle after another. The gods didn’t exist. Or they watched life treat him cruelly over and over again for their amusement.

Watching you that day... Watching our friendship die... I thought I had protected you... The only person who saw me for me. Instead of the monster that I had been made to become to survive... I failed... I failed so hard...

Alex fought back the urge to cry for the first time since he was a child. Why had Halone forsaken him like this?! The pain was getting to his head. He knew his body was having a hard time coping. So much blood loss... If he survived... Would there be anything left worth saving? Would he ever hold a weapon again? Maybe it was just the feverish feeling he felt that was driving him slowly mad. Was this how most of his mentor’s victims felt before their minds broke? He didn’t know...  He felt disoriented and jumbled. His thoughts kept drifting. It was the only thing keeping him from succumbing fully. Thoughts of the only people who ever gave a damn about the monster he was.

Not that you care anymore Lancefer... I made sure to shatter everything into irreparable pieces... Just to try and keep you safe. From both Jacques... And myself... We were from two separate worlds... We should have never been friends. There was no way a friendship between us could have ended well. So I betrayed you to save you... I made you hate me. The first and only person at that time who even cared if I lived or died. I plastered on that cocky grin and shattered everything as I killed those knights. It was my job... An I did it in front of you just so you could see the true monster. To realize we could never be friends. It killed me to watch what we had die... To return to being alone in the world. But I knew it had to be done. You were a knight and an upper class kid. I was a mongrel and hated. I would end up dead in a gutter or at the bottom of the witch drop... There was no place for someone like you in my world.

Yet he had found acceptance and care in the least likely of places years later. He knew he wasn’t lucky enough to score a beauty like Aeri so easily. That she wouldn’t buddy up to him without some hidden agenda. Which was true. She was working for Soren to get information from him. Yet something about her called to him. Even when she was betraying him. He should have hated her. Should have tried to kill her. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

Instead I hide my feelings for her. I wanted her with something more than desire. I felt like I had found someone who understood me. I wanted to claim her but she was a wild and free spirit. I could never claim something as strong as her. Not for myself. It was too late once I finally realized I wanted to love her. She had already fallen for Rath. I was too little too late. Always too late... All I could do was watch her. The same with Toka. I wanted to care but I kept my distance. They cared what happened to me. I cared about them. But still I kept myself apart. I didn’t want to drag them into my personal hell.

Yet Aeri was resilient. She still cared.Even when I tried to push her away because of Jacques. Even though she had Rath. Didn’t give me up as a lost cause after all this time. Pulled me back together after Soren wounded my pride. Gave me a reason to want more for my life.

Yet look where I ended up... Strapped to a chair... Tortured by my old mentor... I’m a sorry piece of shit... Yeah... It was better I never got a chance to make her love me. I couldn’t even keep my promise to her. So much for not being stupid...

He felt something splinter. Groaned in agony as stars swam before his vision. “Aeri... I-I’m s-sorry...” He could barely mumble the words through the haze of pain and blood. Didn’t flinch as Jacques lifted his head up by his hair. All he could do was pray for an end to the pain. For something to finally end this suffering.

[pagesfromthevoid]

False God | m.m. | 32

Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader

Word Count: 2.0k

Warnings: Violence. Language.

Author’s Note: So close, yet so far. Gif from @spidey-boyy

Series Masterlist | Talk to Me! | Buy me a coffee?

As Maggie led them through the bowels of the church, Matt listened carefully for the police and the FBI. She was still hiding Karen, who was slipping out the backdoor of the church. A little further, and Karen would be able to get away without detection. Maggie motioned for them to follow them through another door, which led through to what looked like a tomb. She looked around, trying to keep tabs on Karen while also masking their presence in the church. Doing both was a bit more difficult than one would expect, even with her experience. 

“They’re getting closer,” Matt whispered, looking around for a moment. 

Suddenly, she cried out in pain, covering her ears. At first, it was a violent ringing in her eyes –like someone shot a gun right next to face. But then, it was like a drill was being shoved through her ear canal; hot and searing. Dropping to her knees, she ground her teeth and held her breath. Matt’s eyes widened as Maggie and him stopped, rushing back to her as she held her head tight between her palms. It was like everything was on fire in her head, interfering with her abilities and ripping them from her very DNA. 

The FBI was doing something –tamping her powers down. Keeping her from being able to manipulate the scene around them. It was like when she was in the Raft, only so much worse. It was not simply confined to a cell –this was everywhere. It was all over the church, spreading and pulling her apart as she gritted her teeth together. Matt could feel something was wrong; the air around them changed. Like it was sparking, but he couldn’t place why. 

“We need to keep going,” he whispered to her, trying to pull her up. 

“I-I can’t get up,” she insisted, shaking her head. Her legs felt like mush, and her head ached like she had run head first into a wall. “They have whatever Ross used on me in the Raft. T-the thing that shuts my powers down.”

“Is that what that static in the air is?” He asked, looking around them. Footsteps were getting closer, louder, as they sat on the floor.

She nodded frantically, biting her cheek now until it bled. “Get out of here,” she insisted, closing her eyes tight. Anything to fight off the pain. 

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“They’re coming,” Maggie hissed, “You need to hide if she cannot hide you two!” Matt looked around frantically as Maggie pushed him towards a cement tomb. “Go, get in here.”

Matt hesitated, feeling the top of it for a moment, before he slid the lid open. Then he moved to lift her up, taking most of her weight on to him as he climbed into the tomb. Once he secured the lid over them, he listened as the agents –including Dex –stormed into the room. She pressed her forehead against his chest, trying to bite back the pain in her head. One of Matt’s arms wrapped around her instinctively, holding her against him as he held his breath. 

The proximity should have been a red flag; the reminder of how much he enjoyed feeling her pressed against him was distracting. She could feel it too; the warmth of being in his arms again. Even when telling herself she didn’t need him, she had to admit that she missed it. But the agony she was in was almost palpable, and the imminent danger they were in was just as bad. Maggie was covering –and doing a damn good job at that. 

Dex ordered Maggie to show the team where Matt and her had gone, disappearing back up the stairs. Matt hesitated, waiting several minutes before he allowed any sort of movement to be made. Finally, when the sound of footsteps had left the building, Matt reached up and pushed the lid of the coffin open. She took a breath, feeling the effects of the dampening device wearing off. Slowly, he helped her climb out of the coffin and stand again. She swayed some, rolling her shoulders to bring herself back to a functional being, then looked up at him with a deep frown.

“You good?” He asked, hands on her arms as he held her steady.

She pulled away from his grasp, nodding some. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine. We’ll need to get that device from them –”

“We don’t have time for that, we need to get out of here.”

She hesitated for a moment, unwilling to part knowing that the FBI had something that could render her useless. That made her vulnerable, and she was damn sure that she wasn’t going to be vulnerable again today. Or ever, for that matter. 

Matt called her name though, looking at her pleadingly. “Please.”

She hesitated for a moment, then shook her head. “How many times have I asked you to please come with me, and you chose not to?” Matt’s brow furrowed as he opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. “I’ve seen this movie before. I’ve seen how it ends. You are not my home anymore, Matt. And I have no reason to defend a man who would rather be dead than be with me.”

There was silence that filled the air, lingering between them as Matt took half a step forward. She waited, watching him closely.

“I know I’m the one that burned us to the ground,” he started, putting his hands up. “I’m sorry that I hurt you; I’m sorry I took advantage of your love. That I pinned your hands behind your back, and ruined everything. But I am asking you, because I love you, because I know you love me –come with me. Help me finish this.”

Her eyes narrowed, watching him still. Of course she still loved him. There would be no one else that could fill the hole in her soul like Matt Murdock. But she wasn’t going to let him in anymore.

“No.”

And just like that, she walked away from him.

                                         *****

Snagging the device was a little easier than it probably should have been, but she soon discovered the only reason it was shut off at all was because of Jimmy. He had shut it off “on accident,” having knocked it off the stand it was on. When she snuck into the FBI set up, it was easy enough to grab. Jimmy was standing a foot away from it, blocking it from view. But she knew what he was really doing; he was making sure to think about it for her. So she was able to pick it up, let him see her and mask them both from the rest of the world, and grin at him.

Thank God for Jimmy Woo.

“You better get a promotion for this,” she said, patting him on the back.

“So where’s Murdock?” He asked, looking her over for injury. 

“Don’t know; don’t care. He’s not my problem.”

“I’d say I’m glad you finally figured that out, but now was probably the worst time to do so.”

Her brow furrowed as she started yanking out the wires of the device. “What do you mean?”

Jimmy motioned around them. “They think he’s a murderer –they think you are a murderer.”

“Tell something I don’t know,” she countered, looking around now. 

“What I’m telling you is that he might be in actual danger with both the law and his life. Are you really going to let him handle it alone?”

For a moment, she just stared at the agent. There were a million thoughts racing through her head, considering each outcome for Matt. Either he killed Fisk –which, truthfully, didn’t seem like something Matt could do –or Fisk would kill Matt –which did seem like something Fisk would do. 

“Goddammit,” she finally concluded, groaning. “I have to go fucking stop him, don’t I?”

“It might be in your best interest, yeah.”

She cursed again, propping the device against her hip. “I’m taking this with me.”

“Do you need back up?”

“I’m not putting anyone else at risk. Keep them distracted.”

                                           *****

“You make it really hard to fight with you when you’re agreeing with everything I say,” Foggy quipped as she rounded the corner.

“Good. Because I don’t…I don’t want to fight anymore,” Matt admitted, though he looked up as he heard her approach.

She dropped the device at his feet, crossing her arms over her chest. Karen and Foggy looked between each other, then between her and Matt. Waiting for some sort of explosion between the two. Instead, though, she stomped the metal contraption into the dirt with her boot, destroying it. Everyone sort of looked at the ground, watching as the metal pieces clanked at their feet. 

“Fighting is all you know,” she commented idly, finally looking up at them all.

Foggy shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, frowning some as he kicked a metal scrap to the side. “We’re trying to make this work. Is that what you want or are you here to be a smart ass?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, then glanced at Matt and Karen. “I can do both. What’s the plan?” She finally asked.

“We’re going to take Fisk down –the legal way. I think we can get Agent Nadeem to testify against him,” Foggy explained.

“Can you organize a witness that quickly?” She countered, dropping her arms to her sides. 

“Foggy has some connections to the district attorney’s office,” Matt pointed out, eyes blankly trained on her. “He’s going to offer to withdraw from the race for Tower to help us.”

“Ah yes, ruining someone’s life to benefit your need for revenge. Makes perfect sense.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes.

“It was my idea,” Foggy quickly argued, frowning deeply. “I only ran to keep Fisk from killing me anyway.”

She looked at Foggy with a frown of her own now. “What does that mean? Why didn’t you tell me Fisk wanted to kill you?”

“You sort of stopped talking to me,” Foggy pointed out. “Rightfully so, of course. I don’t blame you.”

“Jesus Christ,” she groaned, running a hand over her head then over her face. Matt could hear the blood rushing to her face, as she became angrier. “If you’re in danger, I don’t care how pissed off I am at you –”

“That why you’re here now, then?” Karen interjected. 

The two women’s eyes met, and she nodded once. “Yes, actually. I wasn’t about to let you idiots get yourselves killed. You all have a death wish, and I wouldn’t be a very good superhero if I let you do this alone.”

Something fluttered in his chest. Matt was surprised she had come; she made herself clear in the church. He was no longer her problem, and she didn’t need to be involved. But there she stood, offering her help once more. Throwing aside her hatred and anger at Matt to do what was right. She wasn’t going to let any of them get hurt if she could be there to stop it.

It was why he loved her.

He should have known better all along.

“Is this actually going to work?” She asked, looking between the three now. “Like, genuinely, do you think this will work?”

“It’s going to have to,” Matt said. His tone suggested that if it didn’t work, something even worse would have to happen.

They both exchanged a weary look before she nodded once in understanding. “Whatever it takes, then.”

———

Taglist (CLOSED): @thebisexual-disaster @chims-kookies @ferxaniti @heybabyshae @notalxx @gothicxbarbie @dark-night-sky-99 @blacxk-moony @celestialissues @pinkybee926 @bex-tk1 @jasontoddthezombie @killthebutt4fly @softieekayy @tremendoushearttaco @cbloodmarch @ammiddlechild @venusriver @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @yikes-buddy @buckyspetal @baconlover001 @flimsysquid @reh-llik @messagesinthesky @dreamypanda @happyfern2 @svft-cas @andiforgetaboutyoulongenoughh @deafeningnightcollection-things @milf-murdock

[tobi-momo]

A Misunderstanding

PAIRING: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

GENRE: Angst | Hurt/Comfort | Reverse Comfort

WARNINGS: a lot of crying from both you and kuroo | cursing | mentions of sex | cheating (kind of? youll know when reading) | angst | mentions of drinking/being drunk | nothing is suggestive!! oh ya yall are married btw

WORD COUNT: 3k

A/N: ok ik this is long but this idea came from literally nowhere but i decided to write it thank you @combat-wombatus for helping me you helped put ideas in my brain<333 now i wasnt originally going for a happy ending but im really bad at angst so enjoy the shitty ending :)

“Please, Y/n, you know I didn't mean it,” he pleaded, his large hands desperately grabbing at your form while you push him away, your breaking sobs making his heart shatter. “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he begs, falling on his knees in front of your trembling body, not being able to tear his eyes off of your heartbroken ones. He needed you to stay. He needed to show you that he isn’t that guy and that he would do anything for you. It was a one time thing. He wasn’t even sober. It wasn’t him. It was the alcohol. He wasn’t thinking straight. Please forgive him, please, please, please.

But you couldn’t. No matter how hard or how much you loved him and wanted to, the pain that ripped at your heart every time you looked at him was too much to bear. So you didn’t. You turn your blurry, glassy eyes away from him as he grabs your hand and forces it into his; your lips quivering and knees shaking. You couldn’t keep the betrayal and agony inside, whining and weeping at him, your knees giving out before your legs slam against the floor, your head near the carpet as you try and keep your affliction at bay.

“Y/n, please,” he whines, tears streaming down his pale cheeks; his admission of his unfaithfulness drained the color from his face. “Please forgive me, I need you, I love you so much.”

“W-” you sniffle, not knowing what to say. You knew you didn’t have to say anything at all, that you didn’t owe him any words, but you just...you just needed to know. “Why,” your voice quivered and cracked, your throat sore, “why did you,” you take a long breath, grabbing your chest to try and stop the heartache, the sudden cramp that formed where it used to be filled with warmth and love, “do this to me? With her?” You look up at him once with wide, searchful eyes as you ponder the reasons and look for the answers in his empty pupils.

“I wasn’t thinking straight, baby, I didn’t know what I was doing, please,” his voice stammers, trying to get you to understand that he really didn’t know what he was doing. “I would never do this to you, I-” “But you did.” Your tone is no longer sad and confused, but angry and fed up. His head backing up quickly, not expecting the response. “You made a promise, Tetsurou, remember?” You glare at him with menacing eyes as you hold up the very finger he kissed and placed the ring on on your wedding day. The beautiful diamond ring that had his initials carved in the interior and little gorgeous jewels that made the walls sparkle once hit with the hot sun was no more; the dark, gloomy piece of rock and metal meaning nothing but lies and mistrust.

“No, Y/n, please. Don’t do this to me,” he adjures guiltily.

“Don’t do this to you?” Your voice laced with deadly venom, standing and backing up, wiping your mouth with your hand in annoyance, placing it on your hip. “You did this to me! You did this to us! You went out! You got drunk! You fucked someone else! And not even a random girl! No! You just had to fuck your ex!” Your voice cracked again before you inhaled sharply and covered up your struggle.

“Y/n, I didn’t know what I was doing!”

“And that’s an excuse?? What, so now you can go fuck whoever you want and say ‘I didn’t know what I was doing!’” you mimic, “so you can get away with it every time?”

He didn’t answer. He looked at the ground, understanding exactly where you came from.

“Hm? Are you gonna answer me, or sit there like a coward?”

He could tell fully well you were just saying this because you were hurt. You didn’t mean any of it. You loved him. No matter what, you will always love him. Trusting him was out of the box for a while, maybe forever. But he can’t lose you. He knew you were soulmates- he knew you were made for each other. There was a reason you guys made it this far and only had big problems now. He needed to find that reason and use it for himself to win you back. He needed you back.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, your dramatic hand gestures coming to a halt at his words, your figure coming to a stand still as you wait for him to finish. “You don't deserve this. You don’t deserve me. Please know that it was a mistake and that I’ll never do it again ever, ever, ever,” he repeats, wanting it to sound as sincere as he means. “Just please give me a chance to make this up to you, please don’t leave me by myself without you,” he sobs out, putting his head in his hands.

You knew you shouldn’t feel bad for him. But god-fucking-dammit are you feeling bad for him. You knew you still loved him, you knew he still loved you- that much was obvious. You couldn’t see him for a while, no. Could you guys work it out? Maybe stitch the wound? Wait until the scar is barely visible anymore? Would that even work?

“Tetsurou,” a single, hot tear dripping down your face as you point to the ground. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

“I know, I know, just please give me a chance to help fix this!” He cries at your feet, his body bundled in a ball of self hatred and guilt. “I can do it, baby. I can help things go back to normal.”

“I don’t think they ever will be normal again.”

He whines, trying to negotiate with you as much as he can. “Let me fix us. Let me give you my everything again, let me show you that I’m all yours and no one else's, please,” he moans in anticipation for rejection, knowing the chances of you agreeing were next to zero.

The next few hours are silent. Him alone in the bedroom. Crouching on the floor as he ponders your possible answer. You work in the kitchen, making food to satisfy your appetite. He could hear your sniffles from the bedroom and picture you wiping your tears as you carry the pots on the stove. God, he was the biggest piece of shit ever known. What the fuck went through his mind when he was fucking his ex? He only remembers some of it, them waking up in bed together after, only wearing undergarments underneath the sheets and him holding her waist as if she were you. He thought they had ended on good terms, knowing that they were better as friends. He rushed out the door, not being able to stay in the same room without getting sick. He knew what he had to do.

He opens the door to the living room, a slight creak gaining your attention as you stir the sauce in the pan. Your eyes are puffy, your lip still trembling as you try to turn away from him. He only takes about two steps forward before he stops, trying to find the words he wants to say.

“Listen, I know you said you needed time, and I’m not rushing you at all whatsoever. I want to give you all the time in the world to think this over. If you need, I can go to Kou’s house and stay there for a while. He won’t mind. I just want to give you the space you deserve.”

You nod in response, your head still facing away before he whispers an “I love you” before he slips out of the apartment.

~.~.~.~

The next few days were tortue. Not being able to sleep in the same bed he would sleep in with you, not being able to watch the same tv shows, not being able to even be in his presence at least once a day like you used to melted a hole of despair inside you: eating away at your emptiness, taking away the numbness that you so desperately needed right now. The feeling came back- the one that you tried shutting out three hours ago. It crept up at you, flipping your stomach and weighing your lungs down to the floor, your throat sore and dry. Your eyes wet with a blurry wall as your tears build up once again, missing your cheeks as you crouch down looking at the floor, falling on the tile. The droplets containing your anguish splatter on the ground, your raggedy whimpers echoing throughout the vacant apartment, making it all the more obvious he wasn’t there.

Knock knock knock

Was that the door?

Your wide, unbelieving eyes turned to the wooden door frame; the knocks getting louder and faster. You quickly stand up and try to collect yourself, preparing to have a long talk with Tetsurou. You grab the handle, turning it- the door opening with a tiny creak.

Oh.

“Hi! Kuroo left his jacket at the party the other day, is he here?”

Oh, that bitch.

“No. He’s not.” You deadpan, not finding her cheery, happy expression amusing.

“Oh no! Uh, well, here, can you give this back to him for me?”

“Stop smiling at me like you aren’t part of the reason he’s gone.” You snark, glaring at her with sharp eyes as she backs up, confused.

“W-what?”

“You heard me. Don’t act fucking clueless.”

“Excuse me? Who are you to talk to m-”

“Oh, cut the shit,” you roll your eyes, “I know you slept with Tetsurou, you don’t need put on whatever the fuck this is,” you gesture at her.

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you, fucking crazy?” Your eyes narrow in confusion, your disgusted scowl lessening at her words.

“Right. You probably don’t remember because you were blacked out,” you add sarcastically. “He told me what you guys did. Now you know. So, I would love it if you would just leave.”

“What are you- Me and Kuroo didn’t do shit last night. I drank like two beers and was hanging out with another girl the entire time,” she explains, looking offended. Your face loosens into an expression she couldn’t read. “He blacked out early and passed out on the couch while I was busy talking with the other girl.”

“Huh?” You whisper, your disoriented thoughts not aligning to a proper conclusion.

“I didn’t go to bed until like,” she thought back, “I don’t know, three in the morning? There were people passed out on the floor so I decided to take the guest bedroom with her. I was still awake when Kuroo came into the room, I’m guessing because he thought it was yours, based off of how he kept mumbling your name and shit,” she exhales, “he grabbed onto me once he got in and just clung.” You glower at her, huffing. She sees this, sighing before continuing, “Calm down, remember nothing happened. Remember that girl? She ended falling off the bed because I was scooting away from his clingy ass.” You look at her blankly, trying to fit the pieces together. “She ended up leaving the party completely,” she mumbled in embarrassment before you speak up.

“Then why did he tell me you guys had sex?” You mutter quietly, although assuming she heard since her head backed up while she quickly scoffs.

“I swear to God, that man. Listen.” You look up into her eyes- her genuine eyes. “Me and Kuroo didn’t do a single thing. I didn’t do anything to him and he didn’t do anything to me. I’ll have a conversation with him later because he is an absolute dumbass,” she breathed.

What the fuck?? You were just supposed to believe her?

“How am I supposed to believe that?”

“Me and him ended a long time ago. I don’t like him like that and I haven’t for a while. And seeing he was bragging about you the entire time at the party, he’s over me, too. Besides, I’m not even into guys that much anymore anyways,” she grinned and winked at you. The shock and realization hit you like a truck. She wasn’t even- oh my God. She chuckled at your expression; you ran away from her to the counter to get your phone, quickly unlocking it and tapping on Tetsurou’s contact.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble over and over. To tap the call button, listening to it ring as you bring your phone up to your ear, hearing him pick up the phone almost immediately after.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” He sounded worried. It’s only been about a week, he had hoped that you weren’t going to leave him.

“Get over here, right now, Tetsurou.” Your voice made it seem like it was urgent, so he quickly picked up his jacket from the couch, and you could hear the jingling of his keys as he grabbed them and opened the door, almost slamming it shut once he left.

~.~.~.~

“Y/n?” He asked at the open front door, wondering why it wasn’t closed. “Y/n, you have to be careful and close the door, we have them for a reason, you know,” he said as he walked in. Even after being at the line of a break-up, he still cares for your well-being. He didn’t even do anything wrong and he was still caring for you as a loved one should. He always did everything to make you feel comfortable and safe, so once he knew that he had slept with his ex he was completely devastated to his core. He didn’t want to do this to you, but you had the right to know.

“Tetsu.” You called. Already back to nicknames? This is good, right?

“Yes? Y/n?” He was scared, to say the least, feeling awkward and not knowing what to do. He walked scarcely towards your figure sitting on the couch, not caring to drop his keys and jacket on the counter. He had a feeling this might go wrong.

“We need to talk.” Shit. This is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Hearing those words he couldn’t help but think that you were going to make him pack his stuff and go. “So, I talked with your ex.” You speak slowly, not wanting your words to come out wrong. You don’t want him to take any of this in a bad way at all. Yet his eyes widen drastically, his heartbeat racing and his nerves pricking him. “You are just one big dummy, aren’t you?”

What? What are you talking about?

“What?”

“You didn’t sleep with her. She told me everything that happened that night. She’s not even into guys anymore. Tetsu-”

This couldn’t be happening. Not only did he accuse himself of cheating, he accused himself of cheating with his ex, and that he cheated with his ex at a party, while you two are married. And then it turns out it wasn’t true? What the hell was wrong with him? He jeopardized your entire relationship because he was too drunk to know what was going on.

“Wait, what?” He yells, angrily sitting down on the couch, “so you’re telling me-” you nodded and hummed an ‘mhm’ in response. His hands find their way to his hair, pulling at the roots and scratching his scalp, his low grunts of pain and fury seeping out of his throat as he frustratingly comprehends what he just did.

You rush over to him, grabbing his wrists and pushing them down to his lap as fast as you can, making his eyes find their way to your blown out pupils. You can see the hot tears prickle down his cheek as he frowns at you, completely and utterly defeated.

“Tetsu, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, it’s okay,” you reassure, giving him a happy smile. He wanted to smile back, but he couldn’t control the broken sob that escaped him. “Hey, hey,” you try to grab his attention as he pulls his head down, crying. “It’s okay, baby, it’ll be okay.” You wrap your arms around his head, protecting him as you softly coo and ‘shh’ him quietly in his ear. ‘I’m sorry’ kept coming out of his mouth as he clinged to you, not being able to help his want to be closer to you. The realization that he just almost broke your heart completely and he had worried about divorce for this shit made him want to just rip his scalp out. He was so stupid. So, so so, stupid. “Tetsu, look at me, please. Look at me,” you whisper, bringing your hand to his chin, dragging it up so you could catch sight of his hazel irises. His eyes red and puffy, his cheeks wet and his eyes droopy, you couldn’t do anything but frown at the sight. He hated himself right now, not wanting to face the embarrassment and the humiliation of the situation.

“You don’t deserve me, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered in your arms, gripping them tighter and tighter for comfort- you knowing that he needed it right now. You had already pulled him into your chest, feeling his wet tears soak your shirt, your hands rubbing his back and your fingers gently grazing his throbbing scalp.

“It’s okay, I forgive you, Tetsu, you did the right thing by telling me you did it instead of hiding it from me, and then it turns out you didn’t do it at all.” Your cheeks start to feel hot, and you don’t even realize your sniffles until you could feel a dam break at your water line. You couldn’t stop them, the tears of relief. You didn’t want to stop them. You were glad that they were her, glad that they were for him, glad they were because you knew the truth, glad because you knew you two would be okay.

You looked back at your ring, watching it bloom like a flower in the spring, the meaning coming back to your marriage. It wasn’t just metal and rock anymore, it was a gorgeous promise.

“I love you, Tetsurou. Don’t forget that. You’re staying with me, alright?” you whisper into his hairline.

“Thank you,” he cries.

taglist: @solar3lunar @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @toosharkinternet @hitosushi @alpha3113 @awmahleebkg

haikyuu taglist: @pies-writes-and-more @luvrboykento

REQUESTS: OPEN

reblogs are appreciated :))

[luminnara]

It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Alpha!Bucky x Omega!reader part one 18+ only

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Warnings: NSFW, knotting, abo, smut, mild dubcon

Request are OPEN! I would love to write more Bucky stuff!

Also posted on AO3

Part one | Part Two | Part three | 

In a world full of massive, snarling, strong alphas, nobody wanted to use something as small and physically weak as an omega to do war. Omegas were better suited for other things, like nurturing, and giving life. The alphas were the ones who fought and maimed and killed and protected and hunted. It wasn’t even until relatively recently that omegas even had many rights in the modern world, and there were still plenty of traditionalists who stuck to the old ideals. Omegas were for breeding and claiming and little more. Though those ideas were fading, there would always be those who believed that there were things omegas couldn’t and shouldn’t do--

And fighting was at the top of that list. 

Omegas weren’t built for it. They were sturdy, sure, to help them withstand the ruts of big alphas who couldn’t control themselves, but they were generally small, and, many believed, unable to fend for themselves. Their role, their purpose, was to be claimed and bred by big strong alphas, and that was that. It made sense; after all, someone needed to stay and care for the pups, or else there would be little chance of survival. Throughout most of history, survival wasn’t something that was ever guaranteed, and having a secondary gender that was intended for rearing offspring greatly increased the likelihood that pups would make it to adulthood. Alphas were bigger and stronger, natural leaders, always ready to fight and defend their territory and their pack, and omegas were always there to carry the young. 

And that was that. Omegas weren’t meant to be warriors. Their only place on the battlefield was in the medic tent, where they could tend to wounded alphas and betas. It was nearly unheard of in many places for there to be omega soldiers, even infantry. 

Until the twentieth century. 

The catastrophic proportions of both World Wars brought with them an all hands on deck mentality. In the states, male omegas were being drafted along with the others, newly-invented heat and rut suppressants meaning that they could all work together without the danger of blunders thanks to anyone’s natural cycle. Back home, not only were alpha and beta women suddenly flooding the workforce while the men were overseas, but omegas were joining them. It was unprecedented, and began to change many minds. Maybe omegas were useful for more than incubators. Maybe they could work.

They still weren’t the best choice for hands on, tactical things, though. While there were omegas in the army, they rarely became officers, because who was going to want to listen to them? They weren’t natural born fighters, and they were hardwired to obey alphas. They were better as battle fodder, extras to pad out the numbers. They certainly weren’t anyone’s first choice for special missions or programs.

Well...almost anyone’s.

When HYDRA got their soldier and programmed his brain, they were pleased. The big alpha, James Buchanan Barnes, had survived the super soldier serum, and with his mind wiped and his old life far away from him, he was the perfect assassin. The Winter Soldier was strong, well trained, and easy to control, when given the proper commands. The serum made him practically unkillable, and he had the speed and strength to rival that annoying Captain America. 

Unfortunately, the serum also made his ruts much harder to suppress. HYDRA would never permit him to settle down with an omega, of course not...but an omega was the only thing that could ease his rut cycle. Without one, he could spend a week snarling and pining, absolutely useless. With one, he was only out of the field for a few days. Until they could develop better suppressants, their only solution was to give him an omega. 

Unfortunately, they weren’t very good at surviving him. 

He didn’t like any of them, not really. He never meant to kill them, never really tried, but HYDRA had a habit of starving the poor things before they tossed them into the lion’s den, and they just couldn’t keep up. The soldier used them to alleviate his ruts, always mechanical in his movements, and that was that. 

HYDRA didn’t particularly care whether the omegas lived or died, but they did reach a point where it was getting to be a bit ridiculous to catch so many for their soldier. Someone along the way had the bright idea to simply make a stronger omega, one who could withstand their asset’s forcefulness. Giving the serum to an omega was such a ridiculous idea that it just might work, and so they did, and oh, did they get lucky with the omega they chose.

Taking scent samples from several omegas they already had, they presented them to the soldier, allowing him to choose. It was, perhaps, the one time they had ever given him a sense of autonomy over himself and his life. It was the one time he had any freedom, despite the incredibly controlled circumstances.

 While strapped down to a familiar chair, he watched the doctors pacing around. He was expecting the familiar agony of having his mind refreshed before a new mission, or maybe even the chill of preparation to go into cryo for a few years until he was needed again. Instead, they presented him with strong-smelling test tubes, each one unmistakably omega. He inhaled their scents with mild interest, none seeming to particularly stand out...until they reached the last.

Amoretta Arancini was a young adult female omega, whose file stated that she was “a kicker.” From the moment she had been captured with the intent to be given to the soldier for a rut, she had clawed and kicked and bitten at anyone and everyone who came into contact with her. She was nearly impossible to deal with, and had the soldier not immediately flared his nostrils and strained against the leather straps that held him down, she would have been finally put down. 

Neither she nor Bucky knew it, but he was the only reason she was allowed to live.

The soldier was placed back into his usual cell, and the doctors set about gathering the unruly omega he had chosen. It only made sense that the big, killer alpha would go for a positively savage little monster of an omega, after all.

They administered the serum, unsure whether an omega would even survive it, and by the time their soldier’s next rut came around, she was ready. If she could withstand him, she would have a purpose within HYDRA, and they would be able to stop wasting so much time on finding new omegas for him to burn through. 

She was given double the suppressants he was. They didn’t care if she experienced side effects; after all, her only job was to present herself to the soldier at the start of every rut. She didn’t need to be out in the field. If that meant she was groggy and nauseous all the time, who cared? It seemed to work, keeping her heat and fertility at bay while leaving her lucid enough to get the asset through his cycle. The last thing HYDRA needed was an unscheduled heat or pregnancy to deal with. 

“The asset is entering his rut. Bring in the omega.” A voice on the intercom said. 

An alarm blared, a door slowly screeching open, revealing a cold cell, bare save for the cot against the wall. It was a cell specifically used to hold the soldier during his ruts, and now, it would also hold Amoretta. 

She stumbled along, a beta guard with a cattle prod stalking behind her. She was naked, having been allowed to shower before meeting the soldier for the first time, her dark hair still damp as it fell behind her shoulders. It was the cleanest her skin had felt in weeks, so she could only be so angry about it...but she was still angry. 

With the threat of electricity behind her, she entered the empty cell. A door slammed shut the moment she stepped in, another sliding open on the other side of the small room. 

His scent hit her like a freight train. Motor oil, earth, and cloves...Amoretta’s lip raised in a sneer, partly because she had a feeling she knew what was coming, and partly so that she could try to disguise the way she suddenly began salivating. 

Sure enough, just as she suspected, the biggest alpha she had ever seen in her life came stalking in, eyes dark and wild as he searched for the omega he had smelled on his way in. His chest was heaving, sweat prickling his brow, and as his musky rut-scent wove around Amoretta, she swallowed hard. She definitely knew what was coming next. 

She had never seen the asset before, but she had heard whispers and seen the other omegas they offered up to him. Before she was injected with the serum, she lived in a cramped cell with several others, and whenever someone was dragged out, it was always a toss up whether they would return or not. When they did return, they were never in good shape. 

Now she could see why. 

He was predatory in his movements, dark hair falling in his eyes as he stalked toward her. The door slammed shut the moment he was clear of it, and suddenly, Amoretta was trapped with him. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide from what was quite possibly the most dangerous alpha in the world. If he decided he wanted her, she would have no choice. If he decided he didn’t want her...she would probably die, either by his hand, or HYDRA’s.

She stood as still as she could, watching him with level eyes as he sized her up. A large part of her was surprised that he hadn’t pounced yet, and as a low rumble started up in his chest, she sort of wished he would. The sound went straight to her core, her thighs pressing together of their own free will while she did everything she could to keep from biting her lip. 

His nostrils flared as the scent of her arousal mounted and he pressed himself up against her. The soldier was still looking her over, taking a surprisingly long time to examine the omega standing before him, especially considering that he was rutting. He slowly lowered his head, inhaling deeply, brushing his nose over the scent gland on her neck. The rumbling in his chest grew louder, and this time, Amoretta couldn’t help the needy whine that escaped her throat. 

The soldier’s hot tongue swept over her gland, his hands gripping her hips. He liked how she smelled. He liked how her flesh tasted. 

He wanted more.

He gave her a small shove towards the cot, but as he did so, this little omega glaring up at him actually snapped. She bared her little teeth at him, trying to tell him to slow down, and he responded with a snarl of his own. His tore through his throat, a savage noise, and while it shut her up, it didn’t get rid of the harsh look she was shooting at him. 

The asset wasn’t used to anyone, especially the omegas that HYDRA offered up to him, talking back. They usually went belly up for him the moment he stepped into the cell, behaving and presenting themselves for him to take. That’s what he preferred--a willing omega, whom he could enjoy for a few days. He didn’t like...whatever was going on here. Why was this one so upset with him? He wanted this omega to relax, to take him easily.  His mind, usually so analytical and tactical, was clouded by his rut, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure what to do. 

Amoretta saw the way that he hesitated and she lowered the lip she had raised. So he was capable of listening, after all. That was a good sign that he had some control over himself. Ever so slowly, she relaxed, allowing him to give her a little nudge. It was impressive that he was allowing her to set the pace, especially considering that his musky scent was growing heavier by the second. She definitely hadn’t expected him to be at all interested in what she wanted, and she had been pretty sure that he would just push her down and take what he considered his.

He was almost...gentle, though. Gentler than she thought possible from such a big alpha, at least. She turned and walked toward the cot of her own accord, knowing full well that she didn’t have much choice in how all of this was going to play out. If she was going to be knotted today, then she might as well try to enjoy it, right? 

The way his scent made her mouth water gave her the feeling that that wouldn’t be too hard.

The soldier watched her with predatory eyes, following every movement closely. Absentmindedly, a hand drifted down to the loose pants he had been provided, palming his already hard cock through the fabric. He liked this omega. He liked how she looked, how she smelled, how she moved...he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her hips as they swayed slightly, a pleased rumble rising in his throat. He knew what was coming next, and he couldn’t wait. He was aching to be inside of her, to fill her up, to knot her...he wanted to make this omega his, and take care of her, and protect her, and he’d be damned if his captors got in the way of that. 

Amoretta climbed onto the cot, her back still turned to the most dangerous alpha on the planet. All too aware that she was completely naked, she crawled onto her hands and knees, dipping down until her chest hit the sheets, her ass up in the air for him. Her primal, omega brain was clamoring for this chance to present before such a big, strong, handsome alpha, and as the cool air tickled at her, she couldn’t help but let out a shrill, needy whine. He was taking too long, and part of her was genuinely worried that he was going to reject her. She was doing everything right, she was submitting, she was in a very vulnerable position...so why wasn’t he already on top of her? 

A tiny bead of slick trickled down her thigh as she glanced back to see him standing there with his hand on his bulge. Oh. So that’s what he was doing instead of jumping on her. At least he was turned on by the sight of her...right?

Wait. Why did she care? Why did she care at all what this terrifying alpha thought about her? This terrifying, big, strong...nice smelling...alpha…

If she weren’t on so many suppressants, she was absolutely sure her heat would have started then and there. He was so goddamn handsome, standing there all shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Her body wanted him, she wanted him, and if her hormones were allowed to do what they wanted, they would have been absolutely raging.

 His nostrils were flared as he took in her scent, his blue eyes wild and his pupils totally blown out as he finally stalked towards her. His movements were brisk, filled with purpose, the bulge in his pants clearly visible even as she craned her neck to look back at him. 

“A-alpha,” she whined, warmth rushing through her as she spoke. 

The sound of her voice seemed to have an effect on him, a shudder rolling through his body. 

“‘Mega,” he growled, voice impossibly low. “My ‘mega. So obedient...good girl.”

His words had her trembling. 

All at once, he was shoving his pants down and grabbing for her hips, rubbing the length of his cock over her lips. She keened, more and more slick running down her thighs as he pressed the head inside of her. Even though she was loaded up on suppressants, her body wanted him, her cunt already dripping wet and relaxed enough to accommodate his sizable girth. 

Still, the feeling of him stretching her out was absolutely delicious, eliciting a filthy moan that came pouring from her lips as she buried her head against the sheets. He wasn’t gentle by any means, thrusting into her as far as he could go before pulling back out roughly. His pace was harsh and quick, his body immediately caging her in as his chest pressed into her back. He was possessive, trying to hide her from the surveillance cameras he knew were situated in the upper corners of the cell. He didn’t want anyone else to see his omega, especially not while she was beneath him like this. She was his, and his alone. 

As rough as he was, he was still paying attention to her. Somewhat, at least. He was well aware by this point that she was tougher than the other omegas HYDRA had given him, and he took the opportunity to sink into her deeper, fuck her better than he normally could have. She could take him,  all of him, without complaint. She could withstand his harsh grip on her hair as he pulled her head up and forced her back to arch. She didn’t have any problems accepting what was happening to her, her body responding to him happily. 

“Such a good omega,” he grunted, forcing his cock even further into her. 

“I-I want your knot,” she whimpered, her voice surprisingly demanding considering the position she was in. “Fill me up, Alpha…”

How could he deny her?

When he had spilled his seed inside of her and his knot had inflated to a nearly painful extent, he wrapped an arm around her, holding her to his chest as he laid them both down on the cot. He was happy with his choice, with his omega. She was everything he wanted, and as his rut continued for the next few days, he had his way with her again, and again, and again, before HYDRA separated them once more. 

The soldier snarled and roared, refusing to be taken away, but as soon as they recited his trigger words, he was compliant. Amoretta listened and watched, eyes wide as they led him away. She had only spent one rut with him, but she was already head over heels, her heart aching and pining for her alpha to come back to her.

[ziee]

Yb x Gender neutral! Reader

You laugh as you finish telling your boyfriend the funniest joke ever. "A-And she was like, 'What?'!" He chuckles along with you, staring at you with love as you strain to finish your sentence. It was really funny, alright?

You and your boyfriend were on a date in a tiny cafe right now. He wanted to do something nice for you, seeing you all stressed and tired after weeks of nonstop work. He made you take a sick day today, much to your dismay and arguing.

Eating your favorite cake and sipping a shared milkshake with your boyfriend, you don't regret your decision. "So where do you wanna go after this?" He asks as he pushes the milkshake towards you, giving you the finishing sip.

You smile, taking the straw and drinking the creamy drink. You lick your lips before replying. "What about downtown? I heard they opened a new bookstore." You say excitedly, thinking about how you definitely do not need any more books on your nearly falling bookshelf, but you just couldn't resist.

"Anything you pick is sure to be amazing, dear." He smiles, standing up. He lends a hand out of which you graciously take hold, your cheeks warming up at the kind gesture. You shouldn't be surprised, he was always like this, since the day you met him. Always so kind and considerate, it was amazing how such a guy could fall for you.

Ordinary, boring, workaholic is what you thought of yourself before he came into your life. Now, you surprisingly shone and radiated with new self-confidence. Your boyfriend had pulled you from the deep confines of hatred and despair and placed you into the sun's ray. Cracking you open anew.

As you got up, you noticed your shoelace had come undone. Turning around to bend down, you brushed against your boyfriend's pants as you tried to tie the laces without getting on your knees. It was unsuccessful, just wasting more time in you having to get lower, while something else rose.

"Just a second babe, gotta fix my stupid shoelace." You mumbled as you looked around, seeing his black shoes resting just a foot away. As soon as you were done, you popped back up and grabbed hold of the cold, grey hand swaying by your side.

Standing up on your tipi toes, you leaned in and kissed your thoughtless boyfriend on his lips before pulling him to the exit. As you were walking down the street, your boyfriend leading the way, he looks to his side before suddenly pulling you into an alley.

"Woah! Peter, what's wrong?" You ask, confused and surprised as your back is roughly, yet in a caring type of way, is pushed against the solid wall of rock. Your eyes make way to his face, seeing his cheeks flushed pink as his breathing grows heavy.

"Oh don't act innocent, darling~ I know what you were planning back there.." He purred, nearing closer towards you as he whispers in your ear. You bite your lip as his hot breaths encase your skin for a second, before dissipating.

"What? I don't know what you-" You were cut off by your own 'eep'. Your boyfriend was grinding against you, his pants housing his rather large hard, and erected boner. You laughed. "Am I that hot that you'd get horny just by a bump from my ass?" You move along with his movements, humoring your poor boyfriend.

"Oh honey, you know you shouldn't tease me. Especially right now." He growled. Pushing urgently into you, you figured you could help him out a bit. You pushed him away softly, inducing a whine from him. You quickly placed your hand over his crotch, rubbing and cupping him as he moans into your ear.

"Shh.. Wouldnt want other people to hear you, would we?" You grin, knowing you have him like putty in your hands right now. He nods, half-listening as half of his mind is only focusing on pleasure. Your hands just feel so good against him. Your hands warm him up, as if he wasn't already aching hot for you, just right.

You release him, only to push the both of you back further into the alley. You definitely do not want people seeing what's about to go on in here. Or at least, prevent it. This wasn't the first time you guys did public sex, but you always made sure you were hidden a little bit.

"You better be quiet, alright?" You bent down, for the second time, looking up at him. His back was pushed against the rock wall, providing him the little support he'd need. You slowly, torturing pulled down his fly. He groaned as his cock twitched in his boxers, begging to be freed. Begging to be freed by your hands. Your soft, soft hands. Pumping his length.

He drooled as he imagined it, startling as his legs suddenly grew cold. You had taken off his pants. Next, and the only remaining clothing to get the job you both so desperately wanted, was his briefs. But you wouldn't just pull them down and suck him off, no. Peter needed to tell you that. Needed to tell you what he wanted. What he needed.

He needed to beg.

He whined, pushing his pelvis into your face. You leaned back, placing a hand onto his stomach, pushing him back. "What do you want? Use your big boy words." You smiled as he panted with need. He wanted you, needed you so desperately he was practically drooling at the sight of you. What a compliment.

"Please!" He cried.

"Please what?" You pawed his erection, seeing a wet spot starting to form.

"P-Please suck me off, darling!" He moaned.

A little too loud for your liking. Or nerves. You got up. His eyes furrowed into confusion. You undressed him of his shirt, holding it in one of your hands. "Open." You commanded. He obeyed, like a good dog, as you stuffed his balled-up shirt into his wet, open mouth. "Good boy." You gripped his chin, shook it, before letting go.

You could hear muffled noises but dismissed them, bending down. Gripping the hem of his boxers, you swiftly pulled them down. His cock springs free, hard and wet. You lick your lips as you grab hold of the thing you adore so much. You loved your boyfriend yes, but his length and size were such a grand + to the whole package.

Not even bothering with your hands, you leaned up and placed your mouth around your lover. He pressed his back against the wall harder as he felt your hot mouth around him. Nerves were going crazy as your tongue softly flicked against his tip.

His muffled moans were turning you on, but as you could quickly clean up from blowjobs, full-on sex was a bit harder in public. Plus, you liked being able to hear both your own and your boyfriend's moans out loud.

His large, grey hand soon found its way on your hand, ruffled in the feathers of your hair as he softly tugged. You grabbed onto his legs, pulling him closer to you as you felt him slide further down your throat. You could feel yourself starting to choke on him, but you persisted. It felt so good having him inside you. Watching him unravel from just your mouth..

Your hot mouth sent spikes of arousal and need up his spine, biting onto his own shirt in agony as you pulled him out from your mouth. He groaned, making you roll your eyes as you took your time to gather some air, pumping him in the meanwhile.

You puffed and went back to work, kissing his grey tip before pulling him back inside of your mouth. Soft whines hit his shirt as he started bucking softly. You could feel him coming near as his legs trembled.

You pulled him deeper, his tip touching the back of your throat. You gagged but continued. Tightening his grip on your hair, he pulled you forwards as he shot deep into your throat. Hot cum spurted down your throat, you tried to gulp it all down, but there being so much, your lips soon dribbled out a few drops.

He pulled out panting, releasing your hair as he leaned his hands against the wall behind him. He took out his shirt, wincing at the large wet stain he had made whilst knowing he had to put it on afterward. You gulped down the rest of his cum, sticking your tongue out in disgust as you finally were able to taste it. Gross.

Standing up, your knees cracked at how long you were sitting on the hard pavement. Looking up, you saw that your boyfriend had put back on his saliva-stained shirt. You grinned as you saw his red, panting face.

"Cmon big boy, zip up your pants, and let's get a move on." You grinned.

[abyssthepansexual]

Hi! Can I maybe suggest a Uzui x male reader where Uzui is his by a demon's blood demon art causing him to become more sexual and needy. When the demon is the defeated he's unable to move because of the sexual desire and lust he had so in that state of mind he begs (m) reader to help him with the problem (he dosen't have his wives as of yet, and he actually wants this to happen because he's had feelings for Y/n)

If you may, can the reader be Dominant? He dosen't have to be top I just mean the one who's giving orders and controlling everything ya know?

Hi I'll write this to the best of my ability, I haven't seen the movie or been able to read the manga all the way I have to base this on is the anime and spoilers I've heard. I know mostly what happens and how the manga ends I just don't know everything about everyone yet.

Uzui Tangent x Dom Male Reader

Requested: Yes

Requests: Open

Warning: slight degradation and orgasm denial.

You and your flamboyant best friend had been assigned on a mission together, the demon hadn't been strong physically but its speed and its blood art had been annoying. You hadn't been hit by its blood art but Uzui had taken the hits for you. Initially the both of you were confused as nothing seemed to happen to him. You ignored the fact nothing happened and actually landed the finishing blow of the demon.

"Where'd you go?" You questioned as you turned only to find your friend wasn't there. You looked around in confusion before hearing a loud whine of pain. You went towards the sound that was followed by other noises only to find Uzui curling in on himself in the middle of a bunch of bushes.

"Y/n, help please!" He shouted though it sounded like he was struggling to even speak. He did notice you were there but he called out to you anyway. You rushed over to him letting him know that it was you who was pulling him towards a tree. You questioned if the blood art had finally set in and sat him up against the tree to examine him. His face was burning red, breathing uneven and heavy, he was whimpering clawing at his clothes as wanting them off.

"Is it making your skin burn?" You questioned moving his hands away to properly help him remove some of his clothes to help give him relief from the heat. Once his top was off he pushed himself on top of you sending you both to the ground, his lips met yours in a kiss of desperation.

"Fuck... Please screw me I need you so bad it hurts! I need to cum!" He whined as your lips parted, his body grinding against you trying to ease the strain of his cock. Piecing things together it made sense now as to why the demon targeted couples, it wanted its prey to put on a show before eating them. You dug your fingers into his hair pulling him close to your face, pressing your knee harder against his crotch.

"Take off your pants and lay down, we are gonna need a lot of spit for this." He was obedient out of desperation to receive the pain and to satisfy his list's cravings. You undress yourself tossing your clothes aside.

"You look like a whore." You said in amusement, Uzui's mouth was already wide open, tongue sticking out waiting for you to sink your cock in his throat. You tried to slowly get him to adjust to your size in his little throat, but he was impatient.

"Just use me already!" He grabbed your thighs with a death grip pushing you balls deep into his throat, he was sucking you off like his life depended on it. You let out a groan as his skilled tongue worked its magic, he was drooling trying to lubricate your cock to the best of his ability. You leaned forward as he let out a whine of agony thrusting his hips up, cock desperate for any sort of stimulation. You spread his legs open wider before kissing up and down his length earning sweet little noises of satisfaction mixed with all Uzui's gagging.

You began to work your way down his cock feeling it press hard against your throat. You were drooling much like him to lubricate him. Your saliva leaked down to his balls and asshole. You moaned against his cock feeling yourself come closer to your own release. One hand began fondling his balls while you used your other to start prepping his hole. If anyone were close by they would here the sounds of moaning, whining, and whimpering as you both brought each other to the edge of release.

You popped off his cock throwing your head back letting out a loud moan as your cum filled his throat. You could feel his throat loosen and tighten around your cock as he swallowed your cum, you lazily jerked him off as you tried to come down from your high. Just as you were about to pull away and focus on him he began sucking again just as hungrily as before. You tried to pull away because your cock was still sensitive, but he still had you trapped in his death grip.

"Uzui let go!" You scolded completely ignoring his pleasure now, he didn't listen. Letting out a moan as you body trembled you grabbed his balls and squeezed tightly. He let out a cry and let you go, you rolled off of him and stood a displeased look on your face.

"You're being a bad boy Uzui," He sat up looking at you with pleading eyes, cock still rock hard. "Bad boys don't get to cum."

"I'll be good! Please Y/n make me cum I'll be a good boy I promise!" He was on his hands and knees unable to get himself to stand. He looked pathetic pleading like this but it was still so fucking attractive.

"Prove it, lay down and spread your legs." He was quick to obey doing exactly as you told him. You got on your knees and pressed your cock against his entrance, his face was filled with excitement at the fact you were finally going to be inside him. He'd fantasized on so many occasions, the idea of you taking him as yours and only yours. He wanted to feel you fill him up and it was going to happen finally!

"Y/n!" He squeaked out as you thrusted in without mercy, bottoming out entirely. You loomed over him staring at his pretty face still covered in drool. He grabbed onto you as you began your relentless assault on his hole giving him no time to adjust. Groans left your moth as loud whines of pure pleasure left his. He truly lived up to his title as the sound pillar.

"See what you get when you listen, now tell me who do you belong to." You purred in his ear before gently biting his lobe, one hand reaching down to stroke him.

"You! Only you I'm all yours!" His legs locked around your waist as he felt himself getting close, he wanted you to stay inside him as you came with him.

"Good boy, now cum all over yourself." You ordered as your thrusts became sporadic reaching your climax once more.

"I love you!" He cried out as you both came, with you filling his insides and him covering the both of you in his white mess. He still clung to you catching his breath as you both came down from your highs. You pressed a kiss to his cheek pulling him into your lap as you sat up, still buried deep in him.

"I love you too."

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Set You Free (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello friends!

Once more, double Lizzie!

Buckle up... it's a bumpy ride. :)

The sight of your ceiling etched itself permanently in your mind because that was all you were capable of doing. Staring at the ceiling. Wasting away. The concept was much more appealing than the decision that awaited you when the sun rose over the horizon.

Regardless of what you did you’d be breaking the heart of someone you loved. You had to face that.

Your own heart be damned. You’d break yourself a hundred times over if you believed for even a second that it would spare them.

Except you knew it wouldn’t. You knew that even not making a decision would be making a decision. Your heart thudded anxiously against your sternum at the thought, the deafening sound ringing in your ears.

The words they’d both said playing over and over in your mind. Every touch… every kiss.

All of it spinning rapidly in your mind until you were sure that no other thoughts would ever be capable of existing there ever again.

__________________

It had been twenty-four hours since you slept, give or take, and it took everything within yourself to drag your body out of bed and into the shower as a last-ditch attempt of clearing your mind.

It didn’t work. Of course, it didn’t.

Why would it?

After getting dressed, you took a deep, calming breath hoping that even for just one second the world would stop spinning and you would be able to focus your thoughts.

Again, it didn’t work.

Without thinking, you grabbed your keys and left the seclusion of your home. You needed to do something, not just wallow in your own agony and hope the answers would appear out of thin air. They deserved more than that. They deserved effort.

When you arrived at your destination, your hands trembled with each step you took up the familiar path. You clenched them into fist just for the sake of eliminating the issue.

Everything was amplified as you willed your hand to raise and knock on the door. The knock against the door reverberated through your sleep deprived mind. When the door swung open and your eyes met hers, you felt the tension drain from your shoulders. Even if it was just a bit.

“Wanda.” You breathed out, leaning into her automatically, sighing contently when her arms wrapped tightly around you.

You could vaguely feel her pull you into her apartment. “Y/n, you look exhausted. Did you sleep at all?”

Shutting your eyes, you hummed against her shoulder. “What time is it?” You asked dazedly.

“8 am.” She replied wearily.

Her fingers soothingly running through your hair almost lulled you to sleep until you heard her call your name again. “Oh. Right. No, I didn’t.”

The feeling of her gentle touch on your cheeks forced your eyes open again as you met her worried eyes. Those gentle eyes that you’d come to live for. “Moya lyubov’. You need to sleep. Come with me.”

Every movement felt disconnected from your body as the lack of sleep finally caught up to you. Wanda gently guided you over to the bed you had spent dozens of nights comfortably tucked into. The feeling heaven sent as she pulled the comforter over your shoulders.

You felt cared for. Loved.

“Wanda?” She hummed. “Can you stay with me?”

There was no response and for a moment you were sure she had left until you felt the warmth of her body gently turn you on your side as she crawled into the bed behind you. The familiar feeling of comfort overcame you as you felt her arms wrap tightly around your midsection and pull you close.

The scent of sandalwood invading all of your senses and the soft sound of her humming in your ear was the last thing your mind processed before you drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

When you opened your eyes again, you saw the sun significantly lower in the sky than when you had first arrived. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you made your way out of the warmth of Wanda’s bedroom and into the cold of the kitchen where you found the other woman at the stove.

The sight was familiar. Soothing.

“Wanda?” You called out, your voice still thick with sleep.

She spun around to face you, her eyes widened slightly in surprise, but the smile on her face was warm. “Good morning, Krasivaya. Well... afternoon I suppose. I was wondering when you’d finally wake up.” She said lightly.

You wandered over to her and rested your head on her chest as her arms wrapped easily around your waist. “Is that hot chocolate?”

Her lips pressed lightly against your hairline. “It is. I thought you could use a pick-me-up.” You smiled lightly with the ease of the moment. The ease of being with Wanda. The ease of… Everything.

“What time is it?” You eventually asked after allowing yourself to relish in the peace for just the briefest moment.

You could feel her lift her wrist to her face. “It’s just about to be 5. You slept for nine hours.” Her body shook slightly with her giggle and you couldn’t help the way your lips quirked up at the sound. Until you remembered what that time meant.

“I… I have to go.” You mumbled, stepping back awkwardly.

Wanda’s smile faltered, and your chest clenched at the sight. “I understand.”

You pressed a soft kiss to her lips, lightly brushing your thumb along her jaw.

When she pulled back and looked at you with a mix of love and pain you knew you couldn’t lose her. The thought alone terrified you.

With one final kiss, you turned and made your way to your car.

Love was supposed to be easy. With Wanda it was easy. It always had been. Falling in love with Wanda was as simple as breathing. You couldn’t lose that.

The racing thoughts in your mind made the drive feel like it passed in seconds. Your heart was anxiously pounding against your rib cage, and you were sure it was moments away from beating right out of your chest.

A selfish part of you wished that it would because then you would be spared from having to hurt someone.

Glancing at the clock on your dashboard, you saw it was 6 which meant there would no more opportunity to avoid the inevitable.

It was time to face the reality of what was about to happen.

The steps you took down the path felt never ending, each movement heavy. Heavy to complete, heavy on your heart. The situation felt familiar though, as if you had tread this path before.

The further down the path you walked, the more you became sure that the path would be something you could never come back from. You would never be able to change the outcome.

When you finally reached the clearing, you found her, and you couldn’t help but think back to all the moments that you had spent here with her before. The happy moments. The moments before life caught up to you both. A place of happiness.

A place that had originally started out as yours, until you realized that everything that was yours was hers too.

Leigh’s smile when she saw you made your heart clench, but you kept moving forward. You found yourself unable to stop yourself from smiling back at her. Especially since this might be the last smile she would ever give you. You wanted to curl in on yourself at the thought alone.

“How do you even remember this place?” You asked, still surprised that she was able to find you in a place you hadn't been to together in years.

Her shoulders lifted slightly in a small shrug. “Because I spent the last two years coming here when life got too much.”

Your breath hitched with her words. “Why?” You asked even though you weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer.

“Because it always reminded me of peaceful times.” She laughed slightly. “Looking back now, I guess I would just come here and hope in the back of my mind that one day you’d be sitting under this tree like you used to when we were kids.”

For a moment you let the words wash over you because even if you didn’t say it out loud, that was why you found yourself seeking out this former place of comfort as well. “Leigh…”

Her smile fell when you finally met her gaze. The eyes that were shining happily just moments before were now filled with tears. Your heart broke at the sight. You couldn’t do anything to make her feel better though because you were the cause.

You caused her pain.

“It’s her.” She whispered, her voice thick with emotion. It wasn’t a question. You didn’t have to say anything. Leigh knew you well enough to know where you stood without words.

She sounded like she was about to cry, then she took a breath and it was gone. “I’m setting you free, Leigh.” You murmured passed the lump that had formed in your throat.

“Maybe I don’t want you to set me free, Y/n.” The response was quick. Like the slipping of words that weren’t intended to see the light of day. Her sharp intake of breath confirmed that. The words dug deeply into the furthest crevices of your heart, making the world around you darker as you fought to push down the emotions that they evoked. “Did you love me too?”

The silence that hung in the air was heavy with words left unspoken. Heavy with emotion that pressed down on your chest like bricks. “I did love you, Leigh. Beyond words. And I think… I think that sometimes you loved me too.” You eventually said. Your words were quiet, as if they were a secret meant just for you two. You kicked absently at the leaves beneath your feet to distract yourself. “We were just never able to get our timing right. And maybe that was a sign.”

A weak chuckle filled the air around you. “I didn’t love you sometimes, Y/n. I loved you always. Even when I didn’t say it. Even when you walked away... Even when I walked away” The tears that fell burned a path down your cheeks as you quietly listened to her. “We didn’t lose each other because of time. I think we lost each other by waiting for the other to admit that we were in love... Two soulmates who could never find each other even when we were standing right in front of each other.”

Your heart fragmented and you could feel the broken pieces hammer in your chest. “Leigh-”

“You know, I may not have been daylight for you… But you were my moon and stars… And when you left you took them with you. You were my light in darkness. I’m sorry that I turned off the light.”

The air became razor blades around you as it became impossible to breathe.

You couldn’t find it within yourself to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry, Leigh.” She didn’t respond, and you didn’t expect her to. “I’m so sorry.”

A tense silence hung in the air as though you were both trapped in limbo. Both terrified to move. To let go.

“Do you regret it?” You asked softly, the words so quiet you were certain they barely reached her ears.

Your heart thudded in agony when she refused to look at you. “Do I regret what?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice shook. “Everything.” Leigh was quiet for a long moment and you could feel heat burn the skin of your cheeks. You knew you should have left well enough alone.

Just as you opened your mouth to apologize to her for asking, she finally said, “Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean that you weren’t the best thing that ever happened to me… Because you were.”

“Yeah.” You said thickly, feeling the tears prickle in your eyes. “You, too.” You wanted to tell her that you wanted to fight for her, but you didn’t know how. You wanted to tell her of the fear that had become a permanent fixture in your heart. You wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault.

The battle had felt like it was lost long before it had even begun.

Instead you said nothing.

Leigh stepped closer to you, her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. “One last kiss.”

Your hand found her cheek as your palm slid against her skin. You nodded and pressed your lips to hers.

Soaring.

That’s what it always felt like when she was pressed against you like this. You felt the rush of helplessness, and a surge of emotion that filled you with warmth and she clung to you as if you were the only solid thing in this dizzying world.

Her mouth was insistent against yours and you could feel the shake of her lips that sent tremors through every nerve ending in your body. You slowed the kiss down. You needed to remember this. Everything... Before it was gone for good. Like how sweet her lips tasted even over the salty tears that fell from your eyes.

The kiss goodbye lasted years in your mind, yet it still wasn't long enough.

Then she stepped away and the spell was broken. You dazedly allowed your fingertips to brush away the stray tears on her cheeks even if they were replaced with fresh tears a moment later.

“I won’t love you forever, but I’m terrified I might. I won't stand in your way though” Leigh whispered, the words against your lips, sending chills down your spine. “Goodbye, Y/n.”

Before you could say anything, she pulled away, her hand slowly trailing down your arm until it stopped at your fingers. You could feel her lightly squeeze three times before she turned, and you quietly watched her walk away.

Every word stolen from your lips because what could you say? You had made the choice. When she had disappeared in the distance, your gaze fell to the grass where she had just stood and couldn’t help but ache.

Losing her was one of the worst things you could face, but you survived it once before. Loving her was a worse pain. It had to be.

You knelt slowly in the grass, the weight of the situation forcing you to your knees. When you attempted to stand again, you couldn’t move. It was as if the grief you felt changed everything within yourself entirely.

If this was what you wanted, why was it killing you inside to let her go?

___________________

Wanda shifted slightly in your arms and you tightened your hold around her, pulling her closer. Always pulling her closer. You could see her shift closer to you in her sleep and you couldn’t help but smile slightly at the sight.

You glanced at the clock to see the time glaring brightly back at you. 6 am. You hadn’t slept well in the last three days, but you didn’t want Wanda to know that. She would just worry.

Eventually, you were able to fall into a fitful sleep as the sun began peeking over the horizon.

The door opened, and you forced an unconvincing smile on your lips. “I did it. It’s over.” You said quietly.

Wanda just stared back at you with her brows furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” You mumbled as Wanda let you inside.

The concern never faded from her features. “You don’t have to pretend to be. It’s okay if you’re not.” Wanda said cautiously, her arm wrapped around you.

As if she said the magic word, the fake smile crumpled, and you felt the tears begin welling in your eyes. Wordlessly, she pulled you into her arms. You melted into the embrace, bunching your hands into the front of her sweater as quiet sobs fell from your lips. “I choose you, Wanda… but it hurt to let her go.” You whispered through tears.

With a start, you opened your eyes to the bright room, groaning when you saw how late in the afternoon it was. Even though you shouldn’t have, you closed your eyes again. The world was dull. And you couldn’t get out of bed.

You should be happy. So why weren’t you?

After another hour in bed, you knew you couldn’t avoid it anymore. Using all your willpower, you rolled out of bed and made your way to the bathroom. Forcing yourself through the motions as you brushed your teeth, showered and got ready for the remainder of the day.

It wasn’t until you looked in the mirror that you stopped. In the mirror your eyes met your own and you could hardly recognize yourself. You forced a smile, quickly dropping it when you realized how unbelievable it looked. You sighed.

The feeling was reminiscent to the night of the wedding. Only this time you made the decision. You made this choice. You loved Wanda. You wanted to be with Wanda. She was your daylight. You loved her. You just needed to get out of this rut.

The mantra looped in your mind as you made your way downstairs and into the living room. You smiled slightly when you saw Wanda curled up on the couch, an old sitcom playing on the screen in front of her.

“Hey.” You said, getting her attention, before you took a seat next to her. “What are you watching?”

She smiled back at you, but it was soft. Sad even. “I think we should break up.” Wanda replied suddenly, ignoring your question.

“What?’ You sputtered in shock at her words. If your heart wasn’t already broken, you were sure it would have been now.

Wanda reached a hand over to soothingly stroke your cheek. “Y/n. I love you.”

You placed your hand over hers to keep her there. To anchor yourself. “If you love me, why are you leaving me?”

A sigh fell from her lips as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “Because you made the wrong choice.” She whispered.

Her thumb soothingly running along your cheek bone did nothing to ease the chaos in your mind. “What do you mean? I lo-”

“You’re not in love with me.” Wanda interrupted quietly. “I know that we would be happy, and I can see us spending the rest of our lives together… but you weren’t meant for me.”

Tears prickled your eyes as you stared helplessly into the beautiful emeralds that you’d come to adore. “I choose you though, Wanda. I want you.”

The tears that fell down her cheeks made you want to scream. You never wanted to hurt Wanda when all she had done was love you, yet you had still managed to do it anyway.

“Who you want and who you need are sometimes two different people.” She said sadly. “It would be selfish of me to keep you when I know your heart is with Leigh.”

You gently wiped away her tears. “But Wanda, I-”

“I’m setting you free, Y/n.” The words hit you and you recoiled slightly. She licked her lips as she seemed to contemplate her next words. “I’m setting you free because I love you and I don’t want you wonder what could have been if you had actually listened to your heart. I’ll be okay.”

All you could do was collapse into her chest, the tears flowing freely and feeling like they would never end. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You repeated until your voice was horse.

The tears the fell onto your neck made you weep more as Wanda stroked your hair. Both of you allowing yourself to relish in the embrace. As much as you tried to fight the knowledge, Wanda was right. It was Leigh. Even if you desperately wished it was Wanda, you couldn’t change the composition of your heart.

You loved Wanda, but you’d never be able to match the love she gave you. Not when the vast majority of your heart would always be in the hands of another as long as you were breathing. It wouldn't be fair.

Two years away just taught you how to muffle the way your heart still screamed out her name.

After what must have been an hour, Wanda pulled away, her eyes still distraught. “Remember that night when you said that we can chose what to define ourselves as?” You nodded slightly, your mind drifting to the night you spent together looking at the stars. A fond memory. “Don’t let yourself be defined by your fear… As much as it breaks my heart to say this, go get her. Let yourself be defined by love. Don’t let the end of us be in vain.”

You swallowed thickly. “I do love you, Wanda.”

She smiled weakly at you. “I know. I love you, too.” Wanda pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and you closed your eyes at the contact. “I should go now.”

When you opened your eyes, your heart clenched in your chest at the sight of her. The sight of her pain. “I’m sorry, Wanda.” You repeated again.

She shook her head slightly. “I’ll be okay.” As she made her way to the front door, she turned to face you. “Learning to forgive ourselves and others because we haven’t chosen wisely is what makes us human. We make mistakes. You and Leigh have made mistakes. Don’t let the fear from the past ruin the future.”

“I won’t.” You whispered, she sent one last weak smile your way before leaving. The door closing behind her sent a new influx of tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried desperately to process what had just happened.

________________________

After the talk with Wanda, it took you several days to work up the courage to reach out to Leigh again. The fear of the past and the fear that you had ruined the future still kept you up at night and made it almost impossible to function. You had to try though. You couldn’t let her slip away without her knowing that it was her… Even if she didn’t want you anymore. She deserved to know that her love wasn’t in vain. That she was right. It was always going to be her.

A quiet curse slipped past your lips when your call when straight to voicemail and a quick glance at your text messages further confirmed what you had already suspected. You were blocked. You couldn’t even blame her because when the roles were reversed you fell off the face of her earth entirely.

Your heart dropped at the thought that you would be forced to live through the same outcome once again. Stuck in the cruel cycle of tragic timing.

Except you wouldn’t let that happen again. You couldn’t. You refused to let her be the one that got away. Never before had a decision been clearer to you. Once the walls fell, everything else came crashing down around them.

As you ran around your house searching for the keys to your car you pulled up Jules’ contact and hit call hoping that she would answer. After several rings you were sure the attempt was fruitless when-

“What could you possibly want, Y/n?”

You winced at the bite in Jules’ words. Sometimes you forgot how punishing Shaw’s could be when they wanted to. “I just-… Is Leigh there? I think I’m blocked.”

“For good reason.” Jules snapped. “She just stopped crying. And I don’t mean a couple of tears because she was sad. I’m talking about collapsing and sobbing at the sky tears.”

Tears began falling down your cheeks with Jules’ words. You clenched your eyes shut to push through. “Jules, I’m sorry. I need to make this right. Please. Help me make this right.” You took a shaky breath. “Is she home? Can I see her?”

“We’re leaving, Y/n.”

The world stopped spinning. You were sure of it. “What?” You choked out.

“We’re leaving.” Jules repeated, her tone softer. “I’m going to Vietnam and Leigh decided to come with me. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone.”

Your knees felt like they would give out under the weight of her words. “When?”

There was a brief moment of silence. “Today. We’re leaving in a few minutes actually.” A lump built in your throat because you couldn’t believe that you lost her. Again. And you were entirely to blame.

“Jules-”

“I have to go now. I’m sorry, Y/n. Take care of yourself.”

Before you could get another word out the dial tone filled your ears. “No.” You mumbled to yourself. “No, no, no.”

Grabbing your keys, you sprinted out the door, breaking several laws to get to Leigh’s house. You had to see her. To tell her that she was right. That no one else made sense. It was always her from the very beginning and it would always be her until the very end.

Your heart was Leigh Shaw and it didn’t matter how hard you tried to push her out, you couldn’t. You’d spend the rest of your life with her name etched into every part of your soul. She was in your veins and there was no way you’d ever get her out. You didn’t want to. Not when you finally knew that she loved you too. Not when you were finally ready to face your fears and take the leap of faith.

A loud curse slipped past your lips when you were a block away from Leigh only to see the road blocked off from some unnecessary LA construction. That wasn’t going to stop you.

You could run the rest of the way. You’d crawl there if you had to.

Quickly parking your car off the side of the road you stepped out and began sprinting in the direction of the house. Hoping and praying with everything within yourself that you weren’t too late.

The sight that greeted you when you finally made it to the house made your heart stop. You slowed to a stop. Leigh’s mother was making her way back into the house after waving to a car that had already made it half way up the street. Even sprinting you wouldn’t be able to catch it.

You were too late.

Leigh would become your greatest what-if. No matter how hard you tried it seemed the universe was adamant about keeping you two apart. The timing of the car in the distance proving that more than anything.

Except this time you had no one to blame but yourself.

With a heavy heart, you dropped your head and turned around. You couldn’t bear to see the car disappear from sight. Taking with it the love of your life and the one thing you never got right.

Desperately you fought back a sob, as you began your slow trek back in the direction you came from. The hole in your chest making the task feel almost impossible. You just wanted to be alone and wallow in the misery that was a cause of your own indecision.

Everything around you quickly faded into nothing as your body went numb. The feeling reminiscent from the night of her wedding when you lost her the first time… only this was worse. So much worse. Your heartbreak was caused by your own hands and it was your burden to bear alone. You could have been happy.

Almost. Maybe. Perhaps. So close. Could have. That’s all you had ever been with Leigh and it seemed that you were destined to finish that way as well.

Heartbreak would be her name, echoing over and over again in your mind until the end of time.

“Y/N! Y/N!”

Your heart leapt in your chest at the sound as you quickly turned. The sight rendered you immobile because there was Leigh. Not in the car. Not disappearing in the distance. Not in another country. There. Running at you with tears streaming down her cheeks.

The ability to breath became almost impossible as she got closer and closer. Then suddenly she was where she was always supposed to be. In your arms.

Her tears soaked through your shirt as she openly cried into your chest and you could do nothing but allow your tears to flow as well as you just held one another tightly.

As if you were both scared any movement would make the other disappear.

“I love you.” You gasped in her hair. “I love you so much and I’m so sorry. I was scared. I don’t expect anything back. You don’t even need to reply. I just needed you to know that I love you, Leigh Shaw. I always have and now I know that I always will.”

Leigh pulled back slightly to stare at you with parted lips, her watery eyes searching yours. “I love you, too.” She breathed out, giving you a watery smile. “That was just the end of the chapter, not the end of our story.”

Your heart soared, and you gave her a smile of your own. Because finally… finally. There was no one running away, you were just running towards one another like you always should have been.

Like two magnets, you were both drawn into a passionate kiss. The kind of kiss that breaks open the sky and steals your breath away.

The kiss showed you that every other kiss you’d had in your life had been wrong.

Her fingers slid into your hair, pulling you closer, as close as physically possible. You were sure your heart had exploded under her touch. All you wanted was Leigh. The feeling of her in your arms – all of her – pressed flush to you. It was right, and your heart had never felt more whole.

The moment was interrupted by a hand lightly tapping your face. You and Leigh pulled apart with matching expressions of confusion, your arms still wrapped tightly around one another. “Hi, yeah, did you forget about something?” Jules asked sarcastically.

Your heart dropped as you looked over at Leigh, remembering the fact that she was leaving. “Jules, I-” Leigh began.

Jules face broke out in a smile. “I was kidding. Don’t even worry about it” She waved a hand dismissively. “You were planning on buying your ticket when we got to LAX anyway.”

You could feel Leigh lean into you in relief, her head tucked just under your chin. “You’re not mad?”

“Of course not. I’ve been waiting for you two idiots to admit you were in love since I was five.” You smiled, feeling a blush creep up your neck. “Besides... now no one will judge me about how I do things on the trip. I'm kind of relieved.”

You chuckled as you absently ran a hand up and down Leigh’s back. “I resent that.” Leigh mumbled.

“But do you deny it?” You asked teasingly.

There was a short pause. “No... but I resent it.” You could feel her press a kiss to your collarbone and you smiled.

For a moment the three of you stood in comfortable silence. “Leigh?” Jules called.

“Mhm?” She mumbled into your neck.

“I’m happy for you…” She paused and looked at you meaningfully. “For both of you. I think this is where you both have always belonged.”

Leigh lifted her head and smiled back at Jules. Your heart fluttered at the sight. “Yeah. I think so too. How about you?” She asked as she looked at you with glimmering eyes.

You melted under her gaze. The sharp edges faded away. “I think so.” You breathed out, smiling lovingly back at her.

Jules clapped and you both turned your heads to look at her. “Alright, kids. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. Like elope or something.” She pointed warningly at Leigh. “I’m serious. I have dibs on maid of honor. You can’t take that moment from me because I’ll be out of the country.”

You laughed awkwardly as Jules got back into the car and drove off. “I think Jules is planning our wedding for us and we aren’t even official yet.”

Leigh stroked your cheek tenderly. You felt every nerve ending in your body burst at the simple touch because of the love in her eyes when she did it. “Well, I don’t know when you’ll be ready for titles, but I hope you know I don’t plan on letting you go again.”

She leaned in, so her lips were ghosting over yours. You smiled. “I don’t plan on letting you go either.”

With a smile, Leigh connected your lips again and you lost yourselves in one another.

And when Leigh proposed to you a year later you said yes without hesitation because while there weren’t many things in life you were certain of, you would always be certain of her. You loved her and you didn't plan on letting her go.

And with that... we have concluded with the Leigh/ Wanda story. I would just like to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for reading this story and being so passionate about it. I would not have done it without the support from all of you.

I loved each essay I got defending the girls and every single comment that you all made defending your position. I am a little heartbroken to see this story come to an end because as much as I love my other stories, this is my favorite thing I've ever written.

Anyway, sorry for getting sappy. Please let me know all your thoughts and comments I'm so excited/ nervous to hear what you all think! I hope you enjoyed taking this journey with me.

p.s. shout out to @sokoalex and @abimess for helping me find the Leigh gif!

Tag list:

@khiaraaa-in-spacee // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @halobaby // @madamevirgo // @aimezvousbrahms // @trikruismybitch // @marvels-writings // @izalesbean // @imdreamingblo // @i-choose-you-cyndaquil // @helloalycia // @scarlets-maximoff // @cantcontroltheirfear // @women-am-i-right // @funnysoldier // @myfavoriteficss // @imapotatao // @imagine-reblog // @blackxwidowsxwife // @purplemeetsblue // @cristin-rjd // @ravens-ss // @legaypandaboi // @myperfectlovepoem // @diaryoflife // @stupidsapphicsstuff //@ouat2017 // @abimess // @wellsayhelloaagin // @mionemymind

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month 2022 - Day 4

Dor (Romanian)

“The emptiness and agony experienced upon missing someone or something.”

This particular prompt has a special meaning to me. I’m not sure if you are aware, but I am Romanina and the idea of ‘dor’ is something I grew up with, hearing it used in folk songs often, in poetry. I felt compelled to write for this, for it felt wrong not to. ‘Dor’ has many layers, to the point that it is understood as actual physical pain created by being apart from someone/ something/ somewhere that holds immense importance for you.

“Dearest Sasuke, I hope the battlefield is not as ruthless as the women here make it out to be. I can’t stand to listen to them talking about weapons, injuries, the horrors that you may be facing. How can they bare to talk about such topics during the ��ezătoare*? I always make excuses and leave when the discussion turns to this sour topic.

Nevertheless, I have taken up new hobbies to fill my time. While at șezătoare I started waving a blanket for you, a gift upon your return. I shall try to embryoid it too for you. The older women showed me and a few others the process for a few days, but now I am able to do it by myself.

I doubt I will go to șezătoare as often now, i prefer to work in our home, for it feels like you are still here with me.

I dearly await your return. A part of me hopes that you shall come back, long before I can finish the blanket”

“My dearest Sasuke, I was speaking to some of the other women, and they mentioned losing track of how many days since the departure and I felt alienated from them. How could that be true? I am painfully aware of each second. I felt every minute of every hour of all 62 days since you left.

The house feels empty, and I can’t help but cry daily lately. Your bed sheets have lost their smell. I keep cooking enough food for two people. You full plate hurts me each meal.

Please return home soon. I need to hold you in my arms, the world seems to be in chaos without you.

I finished waving the blanket and I have started the embroidery process; my fingers have been picked endlessly. They shall not heal till you are here to kiss the injury away, so for my sake alone, please return.”

“It has been 19 days since I last received a letter from you my dear. People look at me differently now, with pity and sadness in their eyes. They don’t dare utter the words, but I know what they think. But not I, for they are wrong. Their gazes shall not change my mind.

It has been 81 days since I last laid my eyes on you, since I watched you pack your bags and go to war. A war they started. A war you have fight in. Each day is harder to bear. But I am trying my best Sasuke…I am, for I know you too are doing your best.

You are busy and I understand the lack of reply. I will wait for it. For your letter will come, not only that; but, you shall deliver it yourself. I know that’s why there’s no reply. You wish to surprise me, you are on the way back home and I am waiting my love.”

“I threw away the calendar. How dare it move forward so many days in your absence? Summer is here and I despise it. You left at the beginning of the year. How could time be so cruel and continue as if my world did not pause?

I can no longer eat in your absence my love. The food turns to sand in my mouth, and it tries to kill me. It makes choke on its dryness, it tries to poison me, it wants to break my teeth. But it can’t do that if I do not eat it.

The other women tried to visit me last week, but I locked the door. They want to take your things, I know. They are thieves, they will take everything I have. They want to bury your belongings, those witches, to curse you so you do not return. But I shall not allow them to, I will protect you.”

“I fear I have fallen sick. The doctor says nothing is wrong, but he can’t possibly know better than I do. I can feel my heart failing me for it yearns of something that has been absent far too long.

I am in constant physical pain, as if someone continuedly twists a dagger in my heart. A turn of the dagger each moment, of each day, of each week and month. The agonizing pain does not allow me to sleep.

Even if it did, I wouldn’t sleep, for they are watching me. Waiting for me to close my eyes so they can take you from me. The witches, they come by often.

My love…I fear I can’t hold on much longer. I wish you would write back. I wish you would return. I wish the war would stop. I wish I were there, for the battlefield with all its horrors is more appealing to me than being here without you.

The walls of our house mock me. They laugh at my pain. I can hear them daily. I no longer am able to lay in our bed, I have taken refuge in the closet, surrounded by your clothes. I am scared to take them out of the enclosed space, they will lose your scent.

I have woven and embroidered you shirts and vests. And my dearest creation, the blanket, oh how cold you must be now that winter is approaching. Come so, your blanket can keep you warm my love. The pattern I worked is you, us. I look at it daily wishing for the face on the blanket to come alive.

You must return my dear, for I am fading away, and what disaster would it be, if you were to come home and I would be a ghost.”

“They said you have died my dear. What liars. What witches. It all a ploy. They want to make us believe we are weak. The enemy is here in this village, and they are spewing lies.

You must return Sasuke. You must protect me from their words, for each one is a stone and I am bruised and beaten already.

The enemy came in my sleep to our house my love and they tore it down and built another. This is not our home anymore, so I must leave. I shall wait for you in the snow at the village gate. I have taken your blanket with me so we can both be warm when you arrive.

Come quickly my love for it cold out here,

Love Hinata.”

A lot of the folk songs I mentioned are from the war period depicting how the women left behind grieved waiting for their lovers to return. I hope I managed to depict the depth of ‘dor’ it is often translated as ‘missing someone’ but it goes beyond that.

Also, to explain the little * aka ‘șezătoare’ in English i guess it would be translated as ‘seat/sitting’ but it's an archaic word seldom used. It was a common happening in older times. Everyone from the village would gather in a destinated place and they would talk, gossip even make important decisions as a village (so it served a social and political purpose) Most of the discussions happen while women wove blankets and men would practice woodworking.

@sasuhinamonth