#like literally the joy I get when I think its 8 pm and its only 5 and the day isn't over

[moghedien]

sorry to yall that get seasonal depression this time of year, but when the sun goes down and I'm like "uh, what time is it?" and see its only 5:30 and I still got HOURS left to do shit if I'm going to bed at a reasonable time, I start VIBRATING

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[wasabi-mommy]

Do It Again.. (DIO Brando)

Dio has a busy work life that keeps him away from his beloved daughter. He leaves his job early to pick his daughter up from school, only to find out she is being bullied. (MODERN AU! NO POWERS NO STANDS! And its up to you whether you want to place Phantom Blood Dio Brando or DIO from Stardust Crusaders) Soft Dio is Fluffy Dio.

WARNINGS: Degrading/Harsh words (via Bully and Dio)

Lol not proofread lol

It was a rarity that he had gotten out of the law office before 8 pm. He was a busy man running his own lawfirm..Most days he would pull into his large estate well after 9 pm, to where he would be informed by Enya that his daughter had finished her academic responsibilities and had been tucked in for the night.

Dio did not express it on the outside, but he did feel remorse that the only time he could actually see his daughter was when he would drop her off in the mornings and after she would go to bed after her long days of studying.

At the age of 8 she was and still has been (according to her report cards) at the top of her second grade class. Dio found pride in his daughters vast intelligence, she obviously had gotten it from her father.

Dio unlocked the door to his New Range Rover Velar and looked at his wrist to double check the time, ah yes, 12:00pm.

As Dio pulled through the gates of the Academy he couldn't hold back a smug grin, she would be ecstatic to see her father and to leave school early of course. All this Dio expected. His eyes scanned the fence line of the school's playground seeing the children playing catch, going down the slides, and running after eachother.

Although it was a certain sight that caught his attention. He could recognize her golden hair..Dio stopped... with wide eyes he stomped on the brakes lurching the SUV forward,and immediately shifted the into park. He didn't care who was being him, and he definitely did not give a fly fuck about the cars honking behind him.

What he did not expect, was to see his daughter on the ground, cry, with three boys surrounding her. He felt his blood rushing through his veins, his fists clenched as he picked up on the disgusting names and insults the boys threw at her.

"You think you're so smart, you're a fucking cow!" They laughed, as a boy kicked dirt into her eyes, her yelp is what caused Dio to rip open the gates of the Playground, "not very secure.." Dio made note of that in his mind.

"You're pale like a ghost, how about you just die like -" the young boy stopped. A firm grip held onto his shoulder, and he could faintly feel Dios amber eyes pierce (not literally.. but yknow) into the back of his head.

The boy's two friends backed away slowly, staring up at the Blonde haired man in utter terror. They high-tailed it outta there with dust in their trails.

"I should expect this from lowlife scum" he muttered tightening the grip on his shoulder tightened. He could feel the child trembling.

"Do it again" Dio spat.

"W-what?" The boy questioned his eyes swelling with fresh tears.

"Kick dirt in her face again, please, do it again." Dios voice was deep and dripping with Venom. All the boy could do was stutter.

Dio grimaced and let go of the child, who immediately turned around quickly- falling on his ass. "I- I- uh.."

Dio scoffed, " faced with danger you turn into a sniffling dog with its tail tucked between it legs, how cowardly, to assault a lady in such a fashion..utterly disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself"

Tears ran down the child's face as Dio picked him up by the collar of his shirt.

"You EVER touch my daughter again, you will be sentenced to eternity in hell"

The kid scrambled away from Dio's grasp in tears. The man himself dusted himself off and turned to his daughter quickly scooping her tiny form into his arms, hugging her to his chest.

She sniffed and wiped her red eyes, It enraged him how disgusting her classmates were. His voice sounded soft and quiet as he spoke to her, " My dear, what those boys said is far from the truth. You are beautiful and so very intelligent, they're jealous of that love." His thumb grazed a tear from her rosey cheeks as he continued on, "you are my daughter, a Brando, they simply cannot stand that. I will not let this happen again my sweet"

She buried her face in her father's chest and nodded. She of course was still shaken by the torment the young boys had put her through, but Dio knew exactly how to mend her back together.

"Let's leave my sweet, and we can get ice cream on the way home"

Just as he predicted her amber orbs lit up with joy as her little arms wrapped around his neck, "all the toppings!!" She cheered as her father carried her through the broken gates of the playground.

He couldn't contain his amusement as a deep chuckle slipped from his lips.

"Yes, yes, all the toppings" he mused, and of course, she would be taken out of the school and placed in a more "prestigious" one as Dio would call it.

[oikawa-tuwu]

🍬 Halloween Candy 🍬

Pairing: Gn!Reader x Tendou Satori

Rating: T

Synopsis: Tendou watches you make Halloween candy and thinks about love and the joys Halloween. Post-time skip, established relationship. (1.8k words)

Warnings: One swear, mentions of past bullying, dealing with insecurity things

(A/N: lol remember when I said I was going on hiatus?? Yeah so I was making hard candy last night and was literally slaughtered in the middle of boiling the sugar when I remembered that Tendou is a chocolatier so my lonely, Halloween-loving, and candy making self wrote this self indulgent thing. Enjoy, but its kind of a mess D: )

-

Tendou Satori’s favorite holiday is, without a doubt, Halloween.

There’s nothing quite like the buzz in the air of a brisk October 31st, children in costumes, ready to consume ungodly amounts of sugar, teenagers giggling as they leave a haunted house, only to turn right around with more cash in hand. Even adults get into the festivities, using the holiday as an excuse to drink copious amount of booze.

Its indulgent and its creepy and Tendou loves it with all of his heart.

In the past, if someone were to ask him why he liked Halloween so much, he'd just laugh and say he had a sweet tooth, because really, he didn't know how to articulate the joy that he gets from costumes. He could remember, as a kid, gleefully skipping down the aisles of a shop, flipping through the mass produced costumes on the rack until he found the perfect one.

The ones that came with masks were always a plus, too.

He supposes, looking back on it, Halloween was his favorite holiday because it was the one day where being “creepy” benefited him. It was on-brand, in-season, like the pecan pies that sit neglected in the summer months before being sold out by mid-November. And even if his hair or his gaze or his height was still terrifying, it was easier to hide behind a Batman mask. Perhaps it wasn’t a healthy way of coping, but somewhere along the way, he’d learned. He’d grown, and shifted, and costumes weren’t his favorite part of Halloween anymore.

No. This is his favorite part of Halloween. The build up to the day in question, preparing for the hordes of children coming to his apartment door, and you, standing in his kitchen, holding a candy thermometer.

It had been your idea at first, to make the candy at home and give it to the trick or treaters, rather than just handing out store bought. Of course, getting homemade candy from a stranger is usually a red-flag for parents, but not if said stranger is a somewhat C-list celebrity chocolatier, as you so kindly put it.

And it was true. There was some hesitation at first, but after a moment of putting together his face, the name on his apartment door, and the clearly professional design on the bags, parents were much more willing to accept the treats. Now, it’s a tradition of the apartment complex, and last year, he ran out of candy by 7 PM.

“You need to make more next year,” you had said, with a sort of confident finality that made him laugh. “Don’t you feel bad for the kids who got there just a little late?”

Did he feel bad?

Now that was an interesting question.

The thing was, he had been that kid. He’d gotten the short straw in life and it had been up to him to make something of it, even when others decided to cut the straw even shorter just for fun.

With an amused glint in his eye, he watches as you lean down, narrowing your eyes to read the fine print of instructions on your phone.

The kitchen is a mess, there’s no way around it, and although he’s deemed you proficient enough to be trusted with his equipment based on your past attempts at culinary efforts, he can tell you feel out of your league as you stir the molten sugar. Your cheeks are flushed from the heat and he’s certain there’s a few more hairs sticking out of place than there were ten minutes ago. Still, you square your shoulders and crack your knuckles as you read the temperatures, one oven mitt armored hand bracing the handle of the pot, and he idly thinks that the apron is officially his favorite piece of clothing on you.

Apparently, you didn't hear the door open and close, because your eyes are still trained on the soon-to-be caramel, and you let out a frustrated, "Why won't this sugar caramelize already?"

"It's stubborn like that."

He always expects you to jump at his voice. Somehow, you never do. Instead, your eyes flick up to him where he hovers in the entry-way, the barest of a smile gracing your lips.

"Welcome home," you say, pulling your eyes away from him to peek at the candy thermometer's temperature. "I feel like this sugar has been at 240° for way too long, is that normal?"

Tendou clicks his tongue, daring to venture further into the candy coated mess. "You have to be patient."

"Funny, coming from you," you smirk, but he notices the way the tension in your shoulders relax, and deep down, he knows he doesn't have the fight to even try to feel offended.

Still, he scoffs and leans against the counter next to you and puts the effort into looking offended, one hand fingering through the petals of the dying roses in a vase. "I'll have you know, I'm a very patient person."

You just give him a look. That look, specifically, with the skeptical eyebrow and wry tilt in the corner of your mouth. The look that always managed to see right through him, reaching in and sorting through each and every memory and quirk and thought and yet still managed to say I love you at the end of the night with a genuine smile.

Tendou knows you. He knows you, understands you, memorized the posture of your sleep deprivation, the quick bite of your words when you wait too long to eat dinner, the strange laugh that, to be honest, sounds more like a car backfiring, when a joke catches you particularly off your guard.

But also, on a much deeper level, he didn't understand you at all.

Why had you chosen him? Was it for the same reason you brought those half-dead roses home, saying, with a self-conscious flush, that they looked sad, dying all alone in the shop.

Was he those flowers? Bruised and beat-up and something to take pity on?

"You're too quiet," you muse, and Tendou realizes that he had been too quiet for much too long, the only sounds coming from the boiling sugar and the soft music playing over a speaker in the corner. "What's wrong?"

He doesn't know how to phrase his insecurities out loud like that, doesn't know if he even should, so instead, he asks, "Am I the roses?"

For a moment, you're silent, and he can see the way you're processing his words, toying with them until you figure out whatever metaphor or inside joke he's referencing. "I would say you're more of a lily guy, if that's what you're asking."

His next question is more blunt. "Why do you like me?"

This one surprises you. He can tell from the way you blink, just once, but also the slight curvature of your eyebrows. He wonders how long it's been since this expression was used in reaction to him.

"I don't understand," you say, finally. "Love and attraction are virtually indescribable emotions that poets and writers spend their lives trying to capture. I don't know why, exactly, but I do know that I enjoy being around you. You make me laugh, and my heart feels happy when I see you walk through that door. Isn't that enough?"

It should be, but Tendou has bad impulse control, and he can't stop the next words from falling out.

"But I'm weird."

The word weird sounds trivial. Weird is the word that girls who dye their hair and listen to indie music and post cryptic pictures on Instagram call themselves, not him. Maybe freak would have been a better word.

"And I don't like the sound of my laugh. We've all got insecurities, things that the rest of the world doesn't like about us so they force us to not like it about us. I know my voice is fine and there's nothing particularly ugly or abnormal about it when I giggle, but I can't help from hating it."

"I like your laugh," he says, and by speaking it aloud, he knows it's true, like whispering a spell that only makes him fall more in love.

"Exactly. And I like you. Weird bits and all. Keeps things interesting."

And just like that, it's gone. It shouldn't be this easy, to dismiss his fears like that, just a few confident words and a smile and suddenly years of his childhood and upbringing are null in comparison to you.

The sugar boils.

As he watches, you leave the almost-caramel on the stove to search for the pan to put it in to cool, already greased and ready for the molten sugar. It's a significantly bigger pan than last year.

When you notice his gaze, you say, "I wasn't joking about making more this year."

Tendou grins.

In high school, Ushijima briefly had a girlfriend. A cheerleader, if Tendou was remembering correctly. He wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't, he didn't pay much attention to her. But, one day, he walked past the gym and found the two of them. Ushijima was teaching her how to serve. Now, Tendou knew Ushijima was a strange person. The only thing he cared about was volleyball and his comically stoic, social ineptitude is what bonded them in the first place, but still, Tendou remembered thinking that bringing your date on your day off to play volleyball was really weird.

But, he supposed, now he understood, as one of your hands reached over to clasp his, the other, still stirring the sugar. He understood before that want, no, the need to share a passion with the one you love.

He squeezes your hand. Absent-mindedly, you squeeze back. And then he squeezes back and you squeeze back and back and forth and back and forth, until you realize the temperature hit the blessed 340° and now you're swearing like it's a prayer, oven mitt hand clasping the pot handle and pouring and hoping it didn't actually burn and-

-

The candies last until 8 PM this year.

He watches you hand the last one over to a kid dressed like some vaguely tropey children's superhero, watches that soft smile slowly warning whatever chill leeches in from the open door.

A wave and a nod to the child's mother later, you slowly shut the door, grin lingering still moments later. You turn to him, that determined gleam in your eye, and say, "We're making more next year."

Tendou laughs. "Fuck no."

But then you smile again, and he knows he can't say no, and, internally, he's already working on a timeline to get all the candy ready by the 31st.

And for some reason, the only thing he can think of is the we in your statement, and it cuts right into his heart faster than a knife as you pull him close and the words just seem to slip out faster than a well-greased cake pan.

-

"I love you."

-

"I love you too."

-

(A/N: Happy Halloween, nerds. Nowwww back to hiatus)

[memory-hoarder]

WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

[bringingglory]

tagged by @fullmetalscullyy and @meridianheroine thank u two so much <7

1. name/nickname: sprout (or lena)

2. gender: she/her

3. star sign: leo

4. height: 5'0

5. time: 12:34 PM (i have 11 minutes until my class starts alksjdfhaskdj)

6. birthday: July 30, 2001

7. favorite bands/groups: The Oh Hellos, RADWIMPS, ???????

8. favorite solo artist: NIKI, Taylor Swift, Owl City (does he count?), Ed Sheeran, dodie, Pekoe

9. song stuck in my head: for the past few days its been Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran, upbeat ed sheeran songs hit different

10. last movie: After We Collided lmao, i hate watched it with my roommates but BRUH it was so boring, there wasnt even anything funny to make fun of

11. last show: Haikyuu!! TO THE TOP (ya girl FINALLY found the motivation to watch anime again so like im only 6 episodes in, but im having a blast, god i love hinata so much, hes just a BEAN and i want to PAT HIS HEAD)

12. when did i create this blog: 2015???? i think????

13. what do i post: reblog memes and fanart and fanfic

14. last thing googled: [my college] stat minor bc im thinking of getting a statistics minor lol

15. other blogs: secret writeblr that i do nothing on except reblog writing posts lol

16. do i get asks: not really, but please come into my inbox anytime!

17. why did i choose this url: KLAJSDHKLAS i think about my url all the time bc God i feel like its So Pretentious if u dont know the context but like akdjfhaskld its literally just a reference to something i shipped really hard in middle school. there's a middle grade series called Wings of Fire and its about dragons and there are these two characters named Glory and Deathbringer and their ship name was "glorybringer" so i just -> "bringingglory" aljdfalskfd

18. following: 399

19. followers: 234

20. average hours of sleep: 6-7

21. lucky number: 8? 17? i dont really have one

22. instruments: askdjfs i cannot play any instruments but i was in choir for 8 years

23. what am i wearing: leggings, t-shirt, college sweatshirt

24. dream job: ??? ??? ??? i have no idea??? i just want a job that will make me financially stable so i can freely pursue my random interests

25. dream trip: i want to go to hong kong or taiwan one day! or just like, other places in asia idk

26. favorite food: uhhhh pasta i guess, also savory zongzi and like tomatoes and eggs (like as a dish, its got a name in chinese but i dont remember what it is aksdfhaskdf)

27. nationality: american (bleh)

28. favorite song: akjsdfkjs i dont have one, favorites are fuckin HARD man, but idk Thus Always to Tyrants by The Oh Hellos is always a banger

29. last book read: THE INVISIBLE LIFE OF ADDIE LARUE OH MY GOD IT FUCKIN kicked my fucking door down and hurled "ideas are wilder than memories, they demand to take root" at my fucking face and then kicked me in the teeth over and over again with "life is brief and life is pain but those sparks of joy make all the suffering worth it" and now my teeth are on the floor and there's blood in my mouth and im trying to shove my intestines back into my stomach oh my fucking GOD!!! the INTROSPECTION and the PROSE and the MESSAGE ABOUT LIFE FUCKED ME UP (i will say there were a lot of "eh mushy romance eh" parts in the middle but the ending wound me up and set me spinning like a beyblade oh my goodness, Incredible feelings, i enjoyed it a lot)

30. three fictional universes you’d like to live in: atla (i wanna be a waterbender alkjdsfasdf), botw (but like post calamity obviously, i just wanna wander the world), and pokemon (want,,,,,companion, friend,,,,)

tagging @megthemighty @firewoodfigs @notkorras @niconiconina @ghost-maya and anyone else who wants to do it! no pressure tho <3

[kayliemusing]

37

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - I think a few hours ago lol

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - how does it everything work out in the end

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - i don't really have one yet

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - When I was 8, my family and I were driving home from the christmas eve service. It was snowing big fluffy snowflakes and i was in a sparkly dress in the backseat. rascal flatts was playing 'god bless the broken road' on the radio and we were all sitting in this really nice content silence.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - I think I'd try to do more, go out more, experience more, write more.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Write a novel(s) / write successful novels - Fall in love - finally go to a taylor swift concert lol

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - My mom is someone I super close to. She has these vibrant blue eyes that literally carry an ocean of good things. She has a warm soul and she always uses her energy to lift other people up or just to hold their hand when life is rocky.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - Yes

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - I don't remember. A while ago I think. Maybe like last september-ish and I only remember that because my job did a really not cool thing to me and I cried when I told my mom and then cried when I told my best friend lol

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - My mom because we could talk about life while stargazing.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - maybe. if i felt super comfortable with them and it was the right time for it, then probably.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - I don't know, actually. Probably not since high school or roughly around then bc i'm always asleep by 10 pm lol. it was probably with one of my friends.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - I'd probably tell my mom thank you for everything she's done and had to sacrifice for me/our family, and i'd tell her i loved her.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - Beautiful! Bright! Lovely! God tier! Wow!

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - "I couldn't get the boy to kill me but I wore his jacket for the longest time" by Richard Siken. First of all, this quote makes me like !!!!! just exclamation marks!!!! I think I just love the poetry and the subtext in this quote, because it's kind of like being haunted by this boy was in itself its own kind of death. So like yeah you didn't kill me, but you haunt me instead.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - What The Hell Is This: a memoir by me

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - Buy a house and move to a different city, invest a lot of it, buy a car, buy another cat, send money to charity, quit my job.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I'm a forgiving person when I feel like someone is worth forgiving, which I kind of don't like about myself because I don't know if that's necessarily the right thing. I don't like that I feel like people have to earn forgiveness, but if I'm hurt by someone or someone has hurt someone I love, I tend to hold grudges and I will especially hold grudges if the hurt or offense is never addressed. But if someone were to apologize and I felt like they were sincere and they gave me a good explanation for the actions, I'm definitely forgiving then.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - n/a

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - I don't mind some tattoos and piercings, but I don't like tons of piercings and I definitely don't like tattoo sleeves or anything like that lol. You do you, but I could never lol.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - Generally, yeah. It depends on my mood that day. Sometimes I'll wear a full face, other times I'll do bare minimum or nothing at all. Makeup makes me feel nice and it can really make your features pop.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - Taylor Swift baby. Taylor has been such an inspiration to me as a writer and a human being. I think she sees the world very vividly and very romantically, and I love that about her. I love that she's kind-natured, even when the world tries to put a masochistic spin on her, she's simply just good. I love her honestly and vulnerability in her story-telling, and I love the work-ethic and careful creativity that's in her work. On a more personal note, her music feels like contentment and joy, and sometimes nostalgia. I started listening to her music in the fifth/sixth grade but I remember when Speak Now came out and at that time I was starting to get into writing and I could really see that she was a writer too so I clung to her, and then Red was released while my dad was fighting cancer and that album was just something I really pressed into as a means of comfort and escape and I'm so glad that I had her music lean on.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - *mind goes blank*

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I haven't actually been to a concert that's really impacted me meaningfully because I've never gone to anyone I legitimately wanted to see lol. When I was 10, I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my sister who was a bigger fan of them than I was and I do remember it being a good time. Then when I was 15, my best friend took me to marianas trench because our other friend baled so she had a spare ticket. It was a really good show and it actually made me get into their music more than I had been before which was awesome.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - I would love it if taylor swift wrote me a letter and I honestly wouldn't care what she wrote in it as long as it was something nice lol

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - I used to have a work space in my room but I moved the desk upstairs to our office. Now I just write in my room and that for me looks like a made up bed, a nightstand with a candle, and a vanilla-scented lamp to create a warm cozy atmosphere.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - I usually write in the evening and then maybe I'll watch youtube or I'll listen to music or scroll through tiktok lol. Then I put on my pj's, skincare routine, brush teeth, and I go to bed (where I end up reading for half the night but whatevs)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - I'm pretty open with my mom so I don't think there's anything she doesn't know about me lol.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - I wouldn't mind dying my tips pink or blue just because I think that's a universally cute look. As for styling it, probably what I do now, maybe curl it a little more.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - I don't think I even know five people (that i'm close to) yikes

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - I wish for success, because I always feel like a failure or inadequate in someway - I wish to fall in love, because I'd like to know it at least once - I wish to be able to write again in a way that makes me happy, because I feel like I keep disappointing myself and I just want that creative freedom again

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - I've never done anything super creative lol but one year I dressed like a bumble bee and I loved that costume because it was a little frilly dress with wings.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - fun fact I've never been drunk or high

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - Anything that involves killing or spiders

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - All too well by taylor swift baby

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. - I have not fallen in love before but I imagine it feels like contentment and coming home.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - I wouldn't do really short hair, but my favourite hair cuts on me was a short bob.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - Just your standard white hot chocolate, and i'd trust anyone to order it for me bc it's not that difficult lol

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - My writing / my career I think

[theycallmegothboy]

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

[sunnyborabora]

Ghost stories (Yoongi x Reader)

You are a medium, being able to see and talk to ghost since your birth is cooler than it seems and now you are just traveling around the country, people calling you from every where so that you can solve they supernatural problem. But what you are going to face is way different than everyt thing you’ve seen before and the worst is that you have to team up with Min Yoongi and his two acolytes. Medium reader x Ghost hunter Yoongi

It was mean to be posted for Halloween... What can I say except that lmao you can never count on me djhgjdvskjvkjv

Warning: Horror theme, ghosts and demons, possession, a little bit of blood, the reader is kind of a crackhead, smut (please don’t have sex in a haunted house)

You got off your car the cold air hitting you harder than you thought. It was already late but you got stuck into traffic jam all day and you did all you could to come to your client house as soon as you could. Two cares were parked near the house two, one being a black van. You draped your large black scarf around your long dress. You walked toward the house, wind blowing in the branches. The moment you step a foot on the wooden stairs you felt something passing beside you. You turned around, but you didn’t see a thing except the sand of the desert surrounding the house. The only thing that could be heard now was the wind and the sound of your high heels on the wooden porch. You knocked three times. You heard a ruffle behind the door. It opened and you saw a woman. She was small and seemed tired.

« Mrs Lincoln ? I am Y/n L/n, sorry for the delay, I was stuck in traffic. - Oh don’t worry. I am happy that are here. » You entered and you noted that the inside of the house was the exact same temperature than outside. A chill ran down your spine. There was definitely something wrong. « The supernatural investigator are already here, but you didn’t miss anything » she said while tying her scarf more tightly around her neck. You realized that she had a thick coat on, and she seemed to shiver every now and then. « The supernatural investigator ? », you did not expect that. You entered the living room and you saw four other people. All men. « Good evening, sorry to be late, I was at the other side of the state when my assistant got your call. -No problem, I am Eric, I live here with my wife. » You smiled at him, reaching his hand to shake it. You shivered, something felt suddenly off. He wasn’t wearing as many clothes  the others you noted, but he seemed tired. « Miss L/n, this is mister Min, mister Jung and mister Kim- - Call us by our names, we are going to spend some times together now I am Hoseok, and with Namjoon we are in charge of the electronic part, this is Yoongi our leader. » You reach for his hand, smiling, his powerful aura giving off positive vibes even in this weird atmosphere. « So you are ? » The last man, Yoongi ?, asked you a stern look in his eyes. « I am Y/n, the medium mister and miss Lincoln called. », You smiled. His aura was a deep red and it seemed soft. The total opposite of the man itself, his expression not giving any friendly vibes. « A medium ? » He said like you just told him some joke. He pushed back his glasses, crossing his arms. You raised your brows. « Aren’t we hunting some ghosts ? » You were used to people being septic, even your clients were in need of reassurance. The only thing that was different this time. You were used to working alone. The man named Namjoon, who was really cute, smiled and said : « She is right Yoongi, and the more we are the faster we’ll solve this case » He met your eyes and blush as you wink at him playfully. « This is a serious matter. We are doing science, not witchcraft. -You can call me a scientist if it’s what’s bothering you that much » If looks could kill, you’d be dead on the spot. But you simply smiled. It was true joy to play with pretty boys like that. He seemed annoyed more than anything. « Did you explained them what phenomenons were happening in the house ? Does it bother you to tell me everything. -Actually it would be a great idea to tell the entire story. We are going to record it this time if it doesn’t bother you. » You all sited around the table, you were sitting next to Yoongi in front of the couple. Hoseok was just behind them, setting up a camera to film you, he was also adjusting a microphone just above the Lincolns. Namjoon was doing the same thing just behind you. You looked up at Hoseok who had settled a pair of headphones on his ears. He nodded his head, making you sign that you could start. « Okay, I am Min Yoongi, we are the 30th October, it’s 8 pm, and I am with Namjoon, Hoseok, miss L/n, and we are interviewing Eric and Sadie Lincoln. » You watched around you and saw nothing. But even if the fire place was lighted, and the fire was strong you still weren’t able to feel any heat. « Tell us everything since the beginning. -Where can we start ? -The first thing that you could think of, that made you feel uneasy maybe » They seemed to think. « Humm, then it should be as soon as we arrived in the house. When we were moving in, I felt not so welcome in the place anymore. -The thing is that we bought this house at a sale at auction. It was really cheap, and we didn’t have to do that much work inside. Seems too good to be true now… - After it was more of a… Feeling of being watched. Sadie was the first one to hear the footsteps. -It was like someone was walking behind me, following me around the house. At first, it was staying distant. But with the weeks passing, the… Presence was coming closer. -The next step I would say, was the missing objects. Literally everything was changing places. Even when no one was in the house. -It lasted a while I would say… But then the presence, the manifestation… It becomes more violent. -Our bed sheets would be dragged suddenly out of the bed. Doors would open them self slowly. -We thought it was just coincidence. But Then I started to get scratches, bruises all over my body. Once I woke up with bruises like fingerprints all around my throat- » She stopped talking as tears were starting to roll on her cheeks. You looked into your purse, finding a little pack of tissues that you gave her. She smiled at you and this is when you saw it. The dark shadow behind her. It was latching onto her body without mercy. « It is openly violent then ? » You asked still watching over her shoulder. As you speak, like you had predicted, the shadow reacted to your voice. It violently got of Sadie’s back and disappeared in the darker corridor. « Yes. It has become dangerous… We feel like it wants to hurt us… And the worst… It’s messing with our mind… -Messing with your mind ? -It has a very bad influence on us. Since we are here… We’ve been angry, almost violent against each other… -And… I started to have dark though ts… -Dark thoughts ? » She marked a pause. « I tried to kill myself twice… » You took her hands in yours trying to comfort her. The more you were listening to their story the more you were worried. « How long have you been in this house ? -We’ve been living here for three months » You couldn’t help but gasp. Yoongi looked at you weirdly. « Why are you asking this ? -Those type of phenomenons… They are normally are displayed on several months, even a year. Three months, this is nothing… -What does it mean. -It’s really aggressive. It’s hungry… » Yoongi nodded readjusting his headband on his forehead. « I think we are good with the recording. Do you want to ask something else Yoongs ? Y/n ? » You shook your head. You have heard enough. Yoongi got up and at that precise moment the fireplace smother. The room was suddenly dark. But you still were able to see a little. Suddenly you felt something. You got up almost knocking your chair down. « Namjoon, Hoseok, can you film ? » You asked. « Yes, we are behind you » Namjoon told you. You were seeing something at the end of the corridor. Something that wasn’t human. It was scratching at the floor, long claws almost digging into the wood. « Do you see that ? -No miss L/n… What do you see ? » It was Yoongi. « I see a silhouette. I can’t see its face. It has long nails, it’s scratching the floor… Oh my god... » The silence was heavy. You turned around to see the cameras, and then you Yoongi. You pointed your ear with your finger, making him sign to listen. His eyes widened. He was hearing it too, the scratch. You pointed at the corner were the monster was hoping that the camera would catch something. Suddenly everything went quiet. The atmosphere was heavy and your ears were ringing from the lack of sounds. « Help ! Oh my god ! » You turned around at the same time as Namjoon and Yoongi. You all ran up the corridor, Namjoon throwing his camera at the ground to be faster. He arrived first but what could he do when Sadie Lincoln was floating in the air. « Get her down ! » Was screaming her husband but it didn’t do anything. Hoseok was trying to get her down but the spirit was too strong. « Do you see it ? » You turned around. Yoongi was looking at you. « Yeah, it’s holding her. » You had to act fast. You ran toward the table, climbing it. There were moment to ask yourself question, and it wasn’t now. But you really didn’t plane to become a WWE super star today. You still jumped in the air, grabbing Mrs Lincoln. Namjoon and Hoseok succeed into grabbing Sadie as you crashed to the ground. « Sadie are you okay ?! Sadie !? » You got up with a hiss, your knees cursing your stupid ass. You took Yoongi’s hand getting up with difficulty. « She doesn’t answer. Is she okay ? - Is she breathing ? -Yes, she seems okay, she just doesn’t wake up. » You took a deep breath. « She might be in shocked. You have to leave this house. Get as far as you can. Whatever this is, it’s draining you from your energy. I am already tired and I’ve been here for two hours at most. You’ve been here for three months. -She is right. We don’t need you to stay here if we want to investigate, and it’s not going anywhere. » You nodded, but you weren’t sure it was a good idea if you stayed in this house longer too. « Hoseok, Namjoon and I, we are going to install all the material, cameras, microphones everything, what we need is to collect evidence. Even if we don’t need further proof to stay. »

You knelt down next to Sadie. Caressing her forehead, you saw how she looked tires, new bruises were appearing around her eyes. You were sure they weren’t here before and that they weren’t caused by the fall. She slowly opened her eyes and you saw, the suffering, the pain, death. « Y/n ? Are you going to stay ? » You raised your head toward Namjoon. He was holding a camera, probably already planning the setup. « I am not quitting the case if it’s what you are asking. -No I meant… Where are going to sleep ? You are not going to stay in the house ? -Oh no ! I won’t advise anyone to stay here after what I just saw. I am probably going take a room in a motel not to far away. -We are staying in motel 6 miles away from here. If you want to », this time it was Hoseok, he was also smiling at you. You smiled back at him answering simply : « Yeah thank you ». The next thing you did was help Mister Lincoln to carry his wife in his car. She had gained consciousness again but was really weak. You advised them to not take anything with them, literally everything is soaked in this dark energy that they should leave in this house. « Take some pause on the road there to sleep, but don’t come back here. Call me when you arrived. » He nodded before taking the road. You looked back at the house, and for a moment you thought you saw a dark silhouette standing there in the deserting night. You feared for the men inside so you started running. You almost knocked over Namjoon when you entered. « Oohh easy tiger ! -Are you all okay ? I- -Yeah no problem Y/n, we are fine ! We’re almost done with the setting of the stairs. Do you want maybe visit the house ? -Yeah, hmmm, it’s a good idea ! I am going to visit the floor, like that you’ll be able to do your work downstairs without me blocking you. -You won’t block us, and don’t you think it’s dangerous to go upstairs alone ? -Don’t worry about me ! It’s not the first time I do this. » You went up the stairs crossing Yoongi on your way up. He stopped you a disapproving look on his face. « What are you doing ? Don’t go upstairs, we just set up everything. -I know, but I need to see the house. I’ll be nice I promess », you said, trying not to me too sarcastic. As you were walking up the stairs you heard him say something but you didn’t paid attention. The stairs were silent, almost too silent as three men were supposed to be moving and talking just below you. It was composed of four bedroom, all pretty big. Three of them were empty, the main one, the one where the couple was supposed to sleep, was just composed of a bed, a wardrobe and a small cabinet that seemed pretty ancient. You entered the room scanning the place, it seemed lifeless, as if no one had been living in it. You watched under the bed, in the wardrobe, no monster in sight. But as you were going to walk out, the little cabinet opened itself. You turned around, to see. And you saw. « Who are you ? » It was squatting next to the little cabinet. It’s skin was the color of charcoal, long claws were pointing at something inside the cabinet. It was smiling at you, a big toothless smile. It was terrifying. It was the first demon you ever saw. You were used to deal with ghosts but you were almost sure it wasn’t one. It suddenly got up, so tall it’s slender long limbs were towering you. It was advancing toward you and as much as you wanted to run away you couldn’t.

« What’s your name ? What are you doing here ? » It puts his claw in front of its mouth to silence you before disappearing. You walked toward the cabinet hoping to find answer. All you find was a bunch of pictures. You could see the portrait of a woman. It was dated by 1922 and was giving the address of the house. You took a picture of it. You knew better than to take what didn’t belong to you. You found a page of an old newspaper. It related the story of an orphanage which had been destroyed by a fire. You also took a picture. You soon were over with the visit. There was no attic thank god because you hatted them. You walked down the stairs to find the three men gathered around the fire place. « So did you finished ? -Oh hey ! Yeah we are done. -What happened tho, did you ran a marathon upstairs » Funny how everything this man was saying was annoying as fuck. « What do you mean ? -We heard someone running. -I didn’t run. And I didn’t hear something running » The three of them looked at each other. « I really don’t like this » said Hoseok. « Do you know what type of ghost this is Y/n ? -I don’t think it’s a ghost. It doesn’t look like one at least. -What is it then ? -I don’t know… A demon maybe ». Hoseok squealed. « A demon !? -Yeah, never met one before. But I know someone who dealed with some. I should call them. -What does it look like ? -Completely black skin, so tall it almost touches the selling, long claws, toothless smile -I am so fucking happy I can’t see those shit… -If we do our job well we might » You closed the house, making sure all the cameras were on and the left. You followed them until you reached the hotel. You choose a room next to theirs, working at the same place, it would be easier. « Really you don’t have to help, I can carry them » you said to Namjoon and Hoseok who had insisted in carrying your luggages. « Y/n it’s nothing ! We’ll help if we can ! » The three of you laughed until you arrived to the room, where a very grumpy Yoongi was waiting for you. You really wondered when this man wasn’t irritable. You entered your room and settled down. You were drowned off of your energy. Your brain was a shamble, and you were wondering what you were going to do. You had the time to take a shower and change clothes before someone come knocking at your door. « Hey, we were wondering if you were angry. We ordered pizza. -Oh thanks ! But I have a lot of work I should get- -Well if you come we’ll be able to discuss the case. » You smiled and accepted. You followed him, Namjoon was working on his computer and Yoongi was spread on the bed, his long hair out of his face even if he wasn’t wearing his headband anymore. They all seemed to have had the same idea as you, and had taken a shower. « Come on Y/n sit ! » You sat next to Hoseok on the ground, your stomach finally growling. You took a slice, happy to finally eat. « Did you find anything else ? On the case ? -Actually, I m probably going to do some research on the house first. -That would be a first step. We’ll be back tomorrow at the house to see what the cameras had registered. -I find something in the main bedroom, in a little cabinet. » Yoongi rose from his position on the bed. « A cabinet ? -Yeah… -There’s no cabinet in the main bedroom. Just the bed and that old dresser. » You looked at him weirdly. « I saw one tho », you looked for your phone in your pocket, « Look I took pics of it » Indeed, there were the pics of the document you found inside the cabinet. « What… We didn’t see it when we were in the room… -That’s fucking creepy », Said Hoseok, shaking his head, still a piece of pizza in his hand. « I’ll look at the camera tomorrow » said Namjoon, « I think, whatever is in this house, reacts to you more than to us, it obviously wants something from you ». You shuddered at that. « Great ». You kept eating, as you were all talking more casually. « We met in high school ! We all dropped after two years of uni, it wasn’t really for us… -That’s funny ! I wish I could have a group of friends like this. -Yeah it was a good timing ! » Namjoon laughed looking at Hoseok. « And how did you start investigating ? -That’s because of Yoongi » You turned your head toward him. He was munching on his pizza, his puffy cheeks making him look younger than he probably was. « Ahhh, why always this story ?! -Come on ! It’s a cool story ! » He turned towards you, looking exasperate as if he already had told this story a million time. « My house was haunted when I was a child. So when I grew up I started investigating the story of the house. It was our first case. After that, like nothing was really interesting to me, I thought it was a good alternative. -And what happened to your house ? -An old woman had died in this house at the beginning of the century. She had hidden a sort of treasure in the house and forgot about it. I just found it for her and she left. My parents are still leaving in there. -Wow ! That’s impressive ! -And you, Y/n ? How did you come up to being you know- -Well I am just seeing ghost since I was a kid. My mom has this ability too, she never done anything with it but, I don’t know, I thought I could be helpful to others. -That’s so cool ! And terrifying ! -And you a saw them all the time ? -Yeah basically, when I was younger I used to not recognized them, I thought they were just people, weird and very confused people. Now I know how to recognize them. -Oh my god, if you saw one in the motel, you’ll tell me hmm » Hoseok started to look suspiciously everywhere. You suddenly grasped. « Oh my god Hoseok be careful, you’re gonna sit on one ! » He jumped out of the bed, screeching. You laughed followed by Namjoon and even Yoongi. You ended up talking for another good part of the night, planning what you’ll do tomorrow. You decided to let Hoseok and Namjoon go to collect the videos, while you and Yoongi were going to do research on this house. You ended up falling asleep on the floor, Namjoon had passed out on the bed in a weird position, Hoseok was sleeping on the (siege), he’ll probably be sore all over in the morning. Yoongi was also on the floor, his head carefully placed on a pillow, he wasn’t that far away from you. You had a dream this night. A weird dream. You saw the house, as flames were everywhere. A woman was standing here, you could only see her back but you understood what she was doing. In her closed fist, was a bloody piece of flesh, she was clenching it screaming things you could not understand. Suddenly everything swung and went completely black. The only light was a little light bulb just above your head. « Burn it ». You turned your head but there was nothing.

« Burn it » Two arms emerged from each side of your head, long black claws clasping around your mouth. The only thing you saw was the woman standing in the light before the monster take you into the abyss. You woke up with the horrible feeling of falling. Yoongi was on his phone, looking at you weirdly. « Are you okay ? -Yeah... » You were breathless, like you just ran a marathon. « I just had a bad dream… -Must have been intense damn… -It was » He kept looking at you, the only light being his phone screen. « You wanna take some fresh air ? -I should, I’ll be right back… -Wait » You heard him get up. It was cold outside, but it felt good against your burning skin. « It wasn’t a dream right ? -I mean… It was… But it was weird. -Did you see the demon ? -Not really. » You didn’t say anything else. You thought that a bit of fresh air would calm you down but it wasn’t working that well. You didn’t know what was happening with you and Yoongi, that tension between the both of you. You were mixed between jumping his bones or strangle him. Which was powerful coming from someone you just met. He put his hand on your forehead. « You’re hot -Thanks » You suddenly wanted to kill yourself. He watched you incredulous. And you did what everyone would do in this situation. You panicked. « I should go back to my room ! It’s late, and we have a lot of work to do tomorrow ! » You tapped his back and entered your room. It took you one hour to go to sleep again, not so much because of the dream, more because you were a fucking dumb ass. You woke up early in the morning and you decided to go in town to get everyone breakfast. It was fairly desert at this hour, even if you were sure it wasn’t crowded any hour of the day. You came back an hour after to find Namjoon outside the room drinking what looked like coffee. « Hey, sleep well ? -I don’t know in what position I fell asleep but fuck that » You laughed. « I went for breakfast ! » His smiled at you and you smiled back. You stayed outside, eating with Namjoon the breakfast you had taken from the city. « What you eating ? » You saw Yoongi’s hand first, as he was aiming for the coffee cup. You didn’t realise his fingers were that long before. You shook your head. « You're leaving soon ? -Yeah the earlier we got the footage the earlier we can analyze them. -Be careful when you are there » you said worried. « Don’t worry about us Y/n, We’ll be fine ! », He patted your hand. You turned around but Yoongi had left. Namjoon and Hoseok left soon after, and you started your research. Yoongi was in their room, and you in yours. You tried to find information on the house but nothing came out very concluding. All you find that was interesting was the fact that there have been witch trial in town centuries ago. Witches have the tendencies to attract demons. And then you remembered the dream from last night. The woman… She could have been a witch. You took a pencil and a paper and started scribbling something. The face of the witch started to appear as you were drawing her. Her slender silhouette becoming more and more recognizable. Once you were done you couldn’t stop yourself and took another piece of paper. This time it wasn’t a woman’s face that appeared this time. No eyes, black charcoal skin, big mouth full of sharp teeth. « Y/n ! Come hurry up we have something ! », Hoseok entered your room suddenly. And indeed they had found something. They had looked at the footage and the camera had registered two moments where they had been movement. The first time was at 11 pm, it was the door of the closet that had opened itself. Nothing too alarming. « It could be anything. » But the second one took you aback. Your heart stopped beating for a moment you thought. As your ayes were widening. It was a silhouette, entering the house. « Y/n are you okay ? » Fuck fuck fuck. « Do you know who this is ? » You opened your mouth but nothing come out. You were too shocked, busy looking at the woman that was in your dream yesterday, walking up the stairs, entering the bedroom and looking for something in the ghost cabinet you had found the pics in yesterday. « Y/n ! Fuck what is it ? » You couldn’t take your eyes off of her. She turned around, looking at the camera. There was two black holes at the place of her eyes. She smiled and mouth something before disappearing. « I- I- -What is it ! Talk ! -Yoongi, leave her some space ! » It was Namjoon. « I saw this woman before… -When ? Where ? -Yesterday… In one of my dream… -Your nightmare ? » Yoongi had calm down. You simply nodded, still looking at the screen where you were seeing the woman, still facing the camera. « What nightmare ? Y/n ? -She had a nightmare during yesterday… What was it ?… -This woman… I think I know who she is…. » You stood up suddenly, storming out of the room. When you came back a second after Namjoon was at the door. « Look ». You gave them your drawings. « Fuck, when did you do this ? -When you were gone… I- I couldn’t help but think about it… » Hoseok took the drawing and looked at it. « It’s exactly the same thing. How… Oh, fuck… » He had look at the other drawing. « The fuck is this -It’s what it looks like ? The thing in the house ? -That’s what he showed me at least… -It looks nothing like I’ve seen before… -It’s terrifying, fuck, how do you get rid of this…. » You didn’t feel really good. « I don’t know… -What was happening in your dream ? -The- the house was on fire, and she was standing in front of it… Then everything, it went black, and I was alone. Then » You gulped « something grabbed me and I woke up ». The three of them looked at you. Hoseok looked terrified, Namjoon worried and Yoongi, well you couldn’t tell. « We need to know more about this house, about this town before doing anything else. This must be the key to what is happening. » You all started to do research, Namjoon and you were looking at books, old newspaper, and you didn’t know how but Yoongi had succeeded into finding some of the church archive in town. He said the librarian was nice enough to let him borough them. « You didn’t steal them right ? -No, Namjoon what the fuck » Namjoon still looked suspicious, but the archive were actually pretty useful. It confirmed what you had seen on internet. « So the entire town was infested with witches. And this fucking house ! It was a coven ! -Technically it was an orphanage for young girls… -Sounds like the perfect cover to me. », Hoseok said as he was holding your hand for dear life. You smiled at him. « Not all witch are bad you know, I know some of them that are very nice, some are even my friends. -Are you a witch too ? Oh my god please say no… -No I am not don’t worry. » That’s true you were not a witch. You never perform any sort of witchcraft. Your gift, it was just there since your birth. « I have an idea. Tonight, at midnight, we’ll do what I do best! » You closed your books, smiling at them. « Calling some ghost ». The house was even colder than the day before. You were all sitting in a circle in the living room, Namjoon at your right, Hoseok on your other side, Yoongi in front of you. « No breaking the circle, don’t take anything they are going to say personally. We need to finish the seance before leaving. Is everyone ready ? -Can we ask her question ? -I don’t know if she’ll agree to show herself. To you or to me. Just ask, no insulting question, and we’ll see. -You don’t use a Ouija board ? -Don’t think I need it this time. » You all joined your hand and closed your eyes. You took a deep breath in. « I summon you spirit of this house. I feel you, you are here, and I am asking you to show yourself. » Nothing happened. « Carolina Emilie Steinfield, you tried to contact me before. I am reaching out for you. We need your help. Show yourself. »

The candle blew out under the light wind. You felt Namjoon trembling. You opened your eyes and you saw. In the middle of the circle, she was. « Keep your eyes close » you said as the ghost put her finger in front of her mouth. « Y/n, is she here ? -Hmmm, I don’t know… Just keep your eyes closed... » She was like you saw her in your dream, without the two holes that were puncturing her head on the video. She seemed young, younger than you, soft feature, dark eyes. She touches your head and you saw. It was only snippets of information, flashes in front of your eyes. You saw women, in a circle. Blood. Long claws. And fire. Burn it. Burn it all. « What do you mean ? -Y/n, who are you talking to ? » You couldn’t answer. It was too much for you. But you were understanding. You were seeing. You felt yourself fall. « Y/n ! Fuck wake up ! » You opened your eyes and everything was a blurry mess. You couldn’t talk or move. « What’s happening ? » The flashes had stopped but you were suddenly very tired. « I saw it » you simply said. « Saw what ? », said Yoongi. You could feel his hand on your shoulder, his contact was making you shiver. « The witch, I know... » You blacked out. You woke up in the motel room, Hoseok laying next to you, munching on some french fries. « You’re awake ! Oh my god ! -Y/n ! » Namjoon fell on your other side. You smiled at this. « Damn, please don’t do that again » Yoongi sat on the bed in front of you. He seemed relieved. « What happened ? -You fucking convulsed, I swear I thought you were going to die. -Damn awesome… -At least you didn’t pee yourself… » You slapped Namjoon arm with the strength of a baby. « I saw the witch. -Yeah, we figured that out… -She gave me a vision, this was the first time this happened like this… -What did you see ? -They were indeed a coven. One day they performed a ritual to summon something, but it went wrong. -What is that thing ? -A demon. It has nothing to do with a ghost, it’s way more dangerous. -How do you get rid of this ? An exorcism ? -I don’t think so… The rituals had been done in the living room. When the witch died the demon couldn’t leave, it stayed enslaved in the house. » The voice of the witch was still ringing in your ears. « So ? -She told me to burn it. -Burn the house. -I mean- If you say it like that... » Yoongi seemed to think about something. « That makes sense. Demon can’t go around without being attached to something. If the thing he is attached to disappear he will be forced to go back to where he belongs. -Yeah, that sounds logical. -What about the spirit tho ? -They’ll go away. The demon is forcing them to stay. Once it’ll be gone they’ll go away. -You are sure we are not freeing a demon in the outside world ? -No, I am sure. -That’s true, how can we trust the witch ? They are the one who summoned it. -I don’t think they wanted to summon it, they wanted to bound him to their will. Use it’s power. -Now that they have been slaughtered anyway, they have no interest in keeping the demon here. -Well… I might call the Lincolns, to tell them that we are going to burn their house... » You winced at this. Yoongi had Mister Lincoln on the phone early in the morning, and he told him everything. Mister Lincoln was worried, his wife was still asleep, ever since their departure. You understood that something was wrong. You needed to act as fast as possible. « She is like a coma… This isn’t normal. -It’s the demon, she stayed to long near it. It feed of her for too long. -She is not possessed ? Please tell me she is not… -No I don’t think so. The demon can’t leave the house. » Yoongi laid on the bed. Namjoon and Hoseok were out for food. « Everything, this story… It’s fucking crazy -I know right… I thought I was just going to see some ghost, not an all ass demon coming right from hell. » He snickered at that. « Did you sleep ? » You asked looking at him and seeing he was very tired. « A bit, not enough probably ». You moved on the right side of the bed, making him sign of moving next to you. He looked at you incredulously, before understanding. He was going to refuse, but then he moved toward the spot on the left. He took of his glasses and you threw the cover on him. « I swear you look like a kitten -Shut up… -No really… You cute or whatever ». He groaned and hit you from under the cover. You cried out. « Hey ! I just got possessed by a ghost have mercy ! » He turned around but you could the blush on his cheeks. « Ok kitten, sleep well ». He wanted scream you could see it. But he simply put his head under the cover in embarrassment. You received a call two hours later. You answered, trying not to wake up Yoongi. « Ms. L/n ! » It was Mister Lincoln. « Please, help me, my wife, she- she escaped ! I don’t know where she went ! She took the car and left ! -When did she left? » You looked around you, Namjoon and Hoseok were looking at you. You put him on speaker. « She left just after my previous call. I did not call you right away because I thought she could just have woken up. But when we started looking for her in the house she wasn’t there, the car was gone, I-I don’t know what to do… -I think I know where she is going » Namjoon took his vest and you understood. « She is returning to the house of course ! -Yes she heard us talk about it over the phone, we said we wanted to destroy it. -The Demon is using her. -We have to go, burn this shit down before it’s late » All of you got out the hotel, jumping into the vans, you had no time to take your car. Namjoon was driving, way faster than it was probably authorized but non of you cared. But you couldn’t help but feel bad. In fact, you felt terribly guilty. You were the one who told everyone that there will be no problem. That the demon would not be able to reach her or follow her once she’ll be out of its range. It was your fault.

« Stop sulking, we are here », Yoongi said, not throwing you a single look. He was right, you had to go into action. « Fuck, isn’t it the car they used to leave ? -It is... » You all rushed toward the house to see the door was open. « Shit. -Mrs Lincoln ! It’s Y/n ! Where are you ?! » Nobody answered. « I got it », Hoseok said, two buckets of gasoline in his hands. « We have to find her before we do anything. -We should split. -No ! No, you know what happen when people split in horror movies. They die ! -But we have to hurry ! We’ll go faster if we split in two groups ». Hoseok looked like he was going to faint on the spot. « If you feel slightly bit dizzy or anything get out. You find her, get out of the house. -Please don’t burn the house while we are still inside tho. » Namjoon and Hobi started to look downstairs as you and Yoongi got upstairs. Everything was good, as good as they could be, until you went to the attic. You had not found a trace of Mrs Lincoln presence nowhere upstairs. Namjoon and Hoseok had not called for you one bit, meaning that they didn’t found her either. She was necessarily in this house, you’ll find her. The attic was dark, but strangely clean. No dusty boxes, no spiders. It was empty and it was even more terrifying like that. « Y/n ». You turned around. Yoongi was looking at his feet, seemingly breathless. « Are you okay ? -You know when you spoke about feeling dizzy ? » He looked at you, and it was like a fire started consuming you. You needed to run, to get out of here right now. But as the last string of logic was passing you didn’t want to leave at all. « What is happening Y/n ? » He was suddenly so close to you. His breath on your face, as you were feeling the heat of his skin against yours. « You look so cute », it really, really wasn’t the moment to say that, you knew it, but you couldn’t help yourself. He kissed you, roughly, feeling you return the passion just as hard. Your tongues met twisting around each other before you started nipping with your teeth. What was going on ? Why were you suddenly making out with the cute guy you literally met two days ago ? Why were you unable to move except for moving forward toward his body, to feel him more. You cried out when Yoongi suddenly bit your neck, and your hips trusted against his, rubbing against his thigh. You had never felt this way before. It was only this primal desire to feel him, to be with him. It was more powerful than anything. You could feel it, against your thigh, how hard he was. He was in the same state as you. « Fuck. What’s going on ? » You were lost, but just the thought of Yoongi pressing against your thigh like that made you wetter and wetter. Feeling like he wanted you, it was everything. Your brain was so slow, it was impossible for you to think, you were just able to feel Yoongi. It was the only thing that mattered. Already, you were able to imagine him remorselessly plunging into you, thrusting hard and fast, making you gasp, moan and call out. You couldn’t help but thrust your hips forward again, rubbing up against Yoongi’s erection, turning him on even more. It felt good, you made him feel so good. He was like drunk in everything that was you. Your scent, your voice, your eyes the way you were rubbing on his cock. It felt so good even through the fabric of his pants. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it, and it solicited something inside you. You bit his neck hard, and he felt like he could cum on the spot. He pushed you back, and you fell on the wooden floor. He would have felt guilty but you didn’t seem to mind for one bit. And honestly, looking at you from his spot, above you, as you were laying on the floor, your hair scattered around your head, your eyes closed, your lips red and bitten. He was unable to feel sorry about anything. He never saw anything that was as beautiful as you. You were sultry and dangerous. So fucking dangerous. He couldn't have resisted even if he had wanted to. But hell, he didn't want to. He wanted to take you, right here, on the floor of this damned house. He wanted you to scream. He pressed another bruising kiss to your lips, and you moaned up against him. « Please » you demanded, kicking him off of you. « I don't want your kisses, »You pleaded. Yoongi's eyes darkened, but he knew you were right. He didn't want yours, either, at least not only that. You both wanted something else and you were going to have it. He placed his hands on either side of you, caging you in. Your hands reached down, and quickly you undid the buttons of his pants, sliding them down his thighs. You struggled with his boxer before he decided to help you to take them off. His cock stood erect between the two of you, thick and throbbing. You looked down at it, and a small moan escape your lips. « You want it right ? », Yoongi asked. No more words were spoken, you simply nodded eagerly. He smirked and it was his turn. He didn’t take the time to take off your dress. He pushed you on your back, his hands grabbing your dress collar and ripping it apart. You gasped, as if him taking off your clothes was making you able to breathe again. He pushed your long dress up your thighs, exposing you to the cool air. Your underwear was thrown somewhere where it won’t bother you. Placing one of his hands on your thighs, he pulled your legs apart, looking down between them. You were wet, so wet, your pink folds glistening. He wanted to eat you up, fucking devour you. But he couldn’t. He needed it right now. It was stronger than his will. He positioned himself between your legs. Yoongi grabbed your hips so hard, it will bruise but fuck every time he was touching you, you were like set on fire. He trusted up into you, making you moan throwing your head backward in pleasure. You couldn’t help it but wrap tightly your legs around his back to keep him closer. He trusted inside you hard, his mouth in your neck. In and out he pistoned, filling you with his member. You were like two animals, the only thing that was important was the feeling, the electricity running through you, the heat of the contact. The pressure was building between your legs as his thickness filled you over and over, as your scream were starting to get louder and louder. You were arching your back, the pleasure almost too much to handle. He took you in his arm, and he sat on his calves, you on top of him. Your thighs were burning from the movement but you couldn’t help but move up and down and it was magnificent as he was hitting just the right spot. His cock was curving into your upper wall, making you moan and writhe. It was making you see stars before your eyes and lips parted and legs trembling. Yoongi held strongly to you, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he helped you fuck yourself on his cock. It was like you had put a spell on him, he couldn’t stop, couldn’t get enough of you, and he could never. He couldn’t think clearly, but a small part of his mind was telling him that he could deny everything he wanted later, it would never be the same anymore. He was the one making you moan and writhe, and he couldn't help but feel good, proud about it. You cried out sharply when he pushed you hard against the floor. He wanted more, faster. He pounded into you, making you scream. He kissed you, and you felt something. Something else than just the burning, sick passion, borderline obsession that was overwhelming you. You didn’t resist, savoring his taste. « What are you doing to me -Yoongi, fuck- -Yes, Y/n, I feel it baby- » Your nails bit into his arms. He pushed himself as deep inside you as he could, as if he wanted you to feel him, feel him so deep inside you, to leave his mark. Right now you felt like you’ll never be able to be satisfied by anything and anyone else in your life. When it will stop you’ll be left sad and empty. Yoongi was feeling the same but you wet and warm, surrounding his cock was feeling so good that he wasn’t able to overthink this. You loved the feeling, too. The pressure was so great between your legs, so intense. You were clenching without knowing, and you felt like you could come at any second. But it was far away, out of reach but still so close. You were teetering on the edge, almost about to climax. Almost about to release all of your built up tension and stress and rage. About to scream. He leaned in close to you, so that your lips were brushing together. Yoongi’s arms tightened around your back, pulling you closer to him until your body was crushed up against his. Your nerves were turning to fire within your body, and you felt yourself throbbing around him. And then you reached your climax, and it crashed in waves inside your body. You screamed your eyes wide open. On the ceiling, here it was. Black, long tongue pending out of this mouth now full of theeth. It was smiling at you. Yoongi came after that. He released every every bit of himself inside you, as his orgasm took his body completely and a roar was torn from his throat. His hips began to still. « Stop sulking, we are here », Yoongi said, not throwing you a single look. He was right, you had to go into action. « Fuck, isn’t it the car they used to leave ? -It is... » You all rushed toward the house to see the door was open. « Shit. -Mrs Lincoln ! It’s Y/n ! Where are you ?! » Nobody answered. « I got it », Hoseok said, two buckets of gasoline in his hands. « We have to find her before we do anything. -We should split. -No ! No, you know what happen when people split in horror movies. They die ! -But we have to hurry ! We’ll go faster if we split in two groups ». Hoseok looked like he was going to faint on the spot. « If you feel slightly bit dizzy or anything get out. You find her, get out of the house. -Please don’t burn the house while we are still inside tho. » Namjoon and Hobi started to look downstairs as you and Yoongi got upstairs. Everything was good, as good as they could be, until you went to the attic. You had not found a trace of Mrs Lincoln presence nowhere upstairs. Namjoon and Hoseok had not called for you one bit, meaning that they didn’t found her either. She was necessarily in this house, you’ll find her. The attic was dark, but strangely clean. No dusty boxes, no spiders. It was empty and it was even more terrifying like that. « Y/n ». You turned around. Yoongi was looking at his feet, seemingly breathless. « Are you okay ? -You know when you spoke about feeling dizzy ? » He looked at you, and it was like a fire started consuming you. You needed to run, to get out of here right now. But as the last string of logic was passing you didn’t want to leave at all. « What is happening Y/n ? » He was suddenly so close to you. His breath on your face, as you were feeling the heat of his skin against yours. « You look so cute », it really, really wasn’t the moment to say that, you knew it, but you couldn’t help yourself. He kissed you, roughly, feeling you return the passion just as hard. Your tongues met twisting around each other before you started nipping with your teeth. What was going on ? Why were you suddenly making out with the cute guy you literally met two days ago ? Why were you unable to move except for moving forward toward his body, to feel him more. You cried out when Yoongi suddenly bit your neck, and your hips trusted against his, rubbing against his thigh. You had never felt this way before. It was only this primal desire to feel him, to be with him. It was more powerful than anything. You could feel it, against your thigh, how hard he was. He was in the same state as you. « Fuck. What’s going on ? » You were lost, but just the thought of Yoongi pressing against your thigh like that made you wetter and wetter. Feeling like he wanted you, it was everything. Your brain was so slow, it was impossible for you to think, you were just able to feel Yoongi. It was the only thing that mattered. Already, you were able to imagine him remorselessly plunging into you, thrusting hard and fast, making you gasp, moan and call out. You couldn’t help but thrust your hips forward again, rubbing up against Yoongi’s erection, turning him on even more. It felt good, you made him feel so good. He was like drunk in everything that was you. Your scent, your voice, your eyes the way you were rubbing on his cock. It felt so good even through the fabric of his pants. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it, and it solicited something inside you. You bit his neck hard, and he felt like he could cum on the spot. He pushed you back, and you fell on the wooden floor. He would have felt guilty but you didn’t seem to mind for one bit. And honestly, looking at you from his spot, above you, as you were laying on the floor, your hair scattered around your head, your eyes closed, your lips red and bitten. He was unable to feel sorry about anything. He never saw anything that was as beautiful as you. You were sultry and dangerous. So fucking dangerous. He couldn't have resisted even if he had wanted to. But hell, he didn't want to. He wanted to take you, right here, on the floor of this damned house. He wanted you to scream. He pressed another bruising kiss to your lips, and you moaned up against him. « Please » you demanded, kicking him off of you. « I don't want your kisses, »You pleaded. Yoongi's eyes darkened, but he knew you were right. He didn't want yours, either, at least not only that. You both wanted something else and you were going to have it. He placed his hands on either side of you, caging you in. Your hands reached down, and quickly you undid the buttons of his pants, sliding them down his thighs. You struggled with his boxer before he decided to help you to take them off. His cock stood erect between the two of you, thick and throbbing. You looked down at it, and a small moan escape your lips. « You want it right ? », Yoongi asked. No more words were spoken, you simply nodded eagerly. He smirked and it was his turn. He didn’t take the time to take off your dress. He pushed you on your back, his hands grabbing your dress collar and ripping it apart. You gasped, as if him taking off your clothes was making you able to breathe again. He pushed your long dress up your thighs, exposing you to the cool air. Your underwear was thrown somewhere where it won’t bother you. Placing one of his hands on your thighs, he pulled your legs apart, looking down between them. You were wet, so wet, your pink folds glistening. He wanted to eat you up, fucking devour you. But he couldn’t. He needed it right now. It was stronger than his will. He positioned himself between your legs. Yoongi grabbed your hips so hard, it will bruise but fuck every time he was touching you, you were like set on fire. He trusted up into you, making you moan throwing your head backward in pleasure. You couldn’t help it but wrap tightly your legs around his back to keep him closer. He trusted inside you hard, his mouth in your neck. In and out he pistoned, filling you with his member. You were like two animals, the only thing that was important was the feeling, the electricity running through you, the heat of the contact. The pressure was building between your legs as his thickness filled you over and over, as your scream were starting to get louder and louder. You were arching your back, the pleasure almost too much to handle. He took you in his arm, and he sat on his calves, you on top of him. Your thighs were burning from the movement but you couldn’t help but move up and down and it was magnificent as he was hitting just the right spot. His cock was curving into your upper wall, making you moan and writhe. It was making you see stars before your eyes and lips parted and legs trembling. Yoongi held strongly to you, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he helped you fuck yourself on his cock. It was like you had put a spell on him, he couldn’t stop, couldn’t get enough of you, and he could never. He couldn’t think clearly, but a small part of his mind was telling him that he could deny everything he wanted later, it would never be the same anymore. He was the one making you moan and writhe, and he couldn't help but feel good, proud about it. You cried out sharply when he pushed you hard against the floor. He wanted more, faster. He pounded into you, making you scream. He kissed you, and you felt something. Something else than just the burning, sick passion, borderline obsession that was overwhelming you. You didn’t resist, savoring his taste. « What are you doing to me -Yoongi, fuck- -Yes, Y/n, I feel it baby- » Your nails bit into his arms. He pushed himself as deep inside you as he could, as if he wanted you to feel him, feel him so deep inside you, to leave his mark. Right now you felt like you’ll never be able to be satisfied by anything and anyone else in your life. When it will stop you’ll be left sad and empty. Yoongi was feeling the same but you wet and warm, surrounding his cock was feeling so good that he wasn’t able to overthink this. You loved the feeling, too. The pressure was so great between your legs, so intense. You were clenching without knowing, and you felt like you could come at any second. But it was far away, out of reach but still so close. You were teetering on the edge, almost about to climax. Almost about to release all of your built up tension and stress and rage. About to scream. He leaned in close to you, so that your lips were brushing together. Yoongi’s arms tightened around your back, pulling you closer to him until your body was crushed up against his. Your nerves were turning to fire within your body, and you felt yourself throbbing around him. And then you reached your climax, and it crashed in waves inside your body. You screamed your eyes wide open. On the ceiling, here it was. Black, long tongue pending out of this mouth now full of theeth. It was smiling at you. Yoongi came after that. He released every every bit of himself inside you, as his orgasm took his body completely and a roar was torn from his throat. His hips began to still.

« Yoongi ? -What the fuck just happened?! » He pushed himself out of you, like you had electrocuted him. He was in shook, like you. You remembered everything, but it was like you had lost every bit of free will. Your breaths were ragged, harsh, you were both fighting to get your heart rates to slow down. « Fuck… Mrs Lincoln! » You jumped on your feet, your legs wobbling. You almost fell down. You put back your underwear as running toward the hatch. Your legs wobbled and your head was pounding. You had something to do. You jumped out through the hole, landing in the corridor. At the end of it was Mrs Lincoln. « Y/N ! What the fuck - » Yoongi was behind you in a second. « She has a knife » In her hand there was indeed a bright blade cover in blood. « There’s blood on it fuck... » You walked toward her, and she smiled. Her eyes were black, her little frame trembling. She was covered in bruises even on her face now. You were thankful for your mother who insisted in you tacking self defense classes when she learned you were going to travel through the country to hunt ghosts. It made you able to stop her hit. You really didn’t want to die today. You knew she was going to have a great strength. She was possessed after all. You made her fall on her, but she kicked you before you could do anything else. « Let me go ! » Something screamed, a distorted voice coming out of her tired body. Yoongi was restraining her. « Namjoon ! Hoseok ! Help ! We got her ! » You weren’t enough of two to restrain her. Namjoon arrived, and you understood the blood. He was holding his shoulder. « Are you okay ? Namjoon ? -Yes, fuck she attacked us by surprised but nothing too bad. Just- » He took off his hand off his arm, more blood come goosing out. « We need to get out, and drive you to the hospital. » Easier said than done, as Mrs Lincoln was literally pulsing in your arms. You, Yoongi and Hoseok were holding as good as you could but the demon was not going to surrender that easily. « Get off me ! » She pushed you with such strength that you fell down the stairs. « Ouch » You were opening your eyes seeing Namjoon coming at your rescue. But something gripped your feet, and suddenly you were being dragged away. You were thrown in the kitchen, the door closing behind you. « Y/n ! Y/n open the door ! » But you couldn’t. « It’s blocked I can’t ! » You turned around trying to find a way to escape. People were staring art you. Women to be more precise. « You are going to burn the house ? » The witches. « Yes. We are going to destroy it. » The one that you had seen in your dreams walked toward you. « The demon, it hurt you » You looked at her strangely. « No I- wait… What happened to me and Yoongi ? -He is like an incubus. Using your deepest desire and attraction against you. -Fuck… » She tended her hand to ward you. Her face looked sad. « You have to stop it. Now. -I am going to destroy it doesn’t worry. I’m going to free you. -We shouldn’t even ask you that. We were the one guilty. We deserved that eternal damnation. -No one deserve this. The couple that bought this house just wanted to be happy. They didn’t deserve that, neither did you. -The woman, she is going to die. -Why ? -It won’t let her leave the house. -Please, help me, help her. She is innocent. » They looked among themselves. A blond one looked at you and smiled. « Child. Your powers are greater than you think. I wish I would have used mine like you are using yours. -She is right » The kitchen door opened itself. « Go, we are going to allow you to go out of the house » You nodded and sprinted out of the house. Yoongi was looking at you like you had grown another head. « Who were you talking to ? -No one let’s go. » You took his hand and started running. At the front door, Hoseok and Namjoon were struggling. « She won’t pass the door, every time she stay- -Try again. -I just told you- -Just do it ! » And Hoseok stepped outside and as soon as he was outside the woman fainted in his arms. He looked at you incredulously. « Hurry up we have a house to burn. » It was actually way more difficult that you thought. But you covered the first floor and gasoline so it should do the job. Yoongi took of a lighter out of his pocket. He looked at it and handed it to you. You lighted it up, and threw it at the porch. The house caught fire at a supernatural speed. No amount of gasoline could have done this. You all ran away not to get injured. « It’s over… -Yes. » You shuddered, not so much from the cold, than from all your nerves letting go at the same time. You felt a hand slipped into yours. You didn’t need to look to know it was Yoongi. He was trembling to. Namjoon took your other hand. Around the house, the coven was forming a circle. All the witches were gathering in a circle, holding hands, murmuring something. The house screamed, the roof suddenly collapsing on itself. They turned around and looked at you, and you felt like crying. It was over. You closed your eyes, feeling little tears falling on your cheeks. Everything is going to be okay.You heard it the voice, for the last time. When you opened them the witches were gone. « Everything is going to be okay » You turned around, to see Yoongi looking at you. You squeezed his hand and smiled. « Of course ».

[fisherfurbearer]

fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.

[bugheadtrash]

Yeah It’s Always Better When We’re Together

Prompt Request: 82. “Just breathe, okay?” 88. “I’m better now that you’re here.” - Requested by @bugheadobssesed as a peraltiago pregnancy fic. Here you go, love! Hope you enjoy. 

Amy winces as yet another contraction courses through her body. She pushes out a steady stream of air as she looks at her watch, 8 minutes 20 seconds. A little closer together but still... too sporadic. She's fine. She just needs to relax. Deep breaths, Amy. Calm, relax, it's all fine. She repeats this mantra in her head, tapping her fingers against her desk nervously. Admittedly, she isn't sure everything is fine. The baby isn't due for another 3 weeks, Jake left for a stake out with Rosa a little over an hour ago, and Charles is heating up leftovers in the precinct, despite multiple requests from basically everyone to stop doing that.     Needless to say, now is not the time for Baby Santiago-Peralta to make an appearance. She has a plan and today—here, now—is not part of her thorough delivery agenda. 

Another contraction. Just six minutes after the last one and continuing for nearly a minute. She can feel her entire uterus closing in on itself, and its worse than any menstrual cramp she’s ever experienced. She wants to curse whoever told her ‘oh it’s just like PMS-ing’.  Amy bites her lip and clenches her arms around her stomach, trying to avoid yelling out a profanity and causing a scene. She thinks it works until she looks up from her desk to see both Terry and Charles rushing to her desk. She waves them off with a hand, "I'm fine, really." There's that word again. Fine. It's fine. She's fine. Really. 

 The two men standing in front of her clearly are not convinced, but after a signature Santiago glare, they back down. 

***

 It's shortly after the fifth contraction (still over five minutes apart, it's fine) that her cellphone rings and Jake's name appears. Amy takes a deep breath and counts to three before answering the phone. Logically, she knows she should tell Jake what’s going on, but he is going to try to convince her to go to the hospital. Doesn’t he know that she isn’t ready for that yet? There’s no point avoiding him now though because she is sure someone— ahem, Charles—ratted her out.  

"Hello?"

 "Ames?" His voice is calm but knowing, like he has already prepared for the protest she is about to give. 

 "Yeah babe, what's up? How's the stakeout?" 

 There is silence and then, "Seriously? 'How's the stakeout' - nice try. How are the contractions, more like it?”

 "Oh. That. Yeah, it's fi-" Amy sucks in quickly, this one comes after four minutes and 57 seconds. Hardly what she would consider under five minutes. Slowly, she exhales and focuses on steadying her breath. In and out, just like she learned in her Lamaze classes.

 "Do you think it's time to go to the hospital? Charles can sub in for me here; I can meet you there.”

Under different circumstances, Amy would be impressed with how cool and collected Jake is (she fully expected him to be freaking out), but she can't think about that right now. Finally, relief comes after just forty-five second. Her uterus relaxes and her organs feel back in place.

"I'm fine. Really, Jake. I promise I will go to the hospital when it's time, but right now there's too much to do. Besides, you aren't here, and we aren't due for three weeks. I only have my just-in-case-emergency hospital bag with me not my it's-time-for-the-baby hospital bag.”

 More silence. 

 "Jake-" 

 "Ames, you know the baby will come when she or he wants to come and not when you feel ready, right? And I hate to say it, but I don't know if we'll ever be as ready as you want. But I promise you, Ames, you are ready for this," his voice is soft and so full of love.

"How can you say that? I'm not ready for this Jake, oh my god. I was supposed to have another three weeks. What if something is wrong? This isn't supposed to happen right now," Amy can feel the tears swelling in her eyes, the hot sting relentless as she desperately tries to get Jake to understand, “We've barely touched the surface of our One-Month-Until-Baby binder, I have more work to do, it's not - I'm not - I just mean, everything is going to change and I'm just not ready and—”

 “Shh, Ames, it’s okay baby. You’re okay, just breathe,” Jake continues to soothe her as more tears fall and she hiccups, trying to catch her breath, “You have to listen to me, okay? Amy… Ames, do you know why I’m not freaking out? Why I’m not scared about becoming a father even though my own dad sucked? Because of you. You have only ever made me a better detective, person, boyfriend, husband and I have no doubt, a better father. You make everything better. This baby is so damn lucky to have you. I know you’re scared and worried about the change and if you’ll be good enough, but you need to take a step back. Yes, everything is going to change, but it’s going to be better. And you are enough, right now. You were enough 9 months ago before you started reading books and planning in your crazy excessive binders and you are enough now. I promise you, you just have to trust me. Can you do that?”

 “I love you so much,” Amy is full on sobbing now, which should be embarrassing given the fact that she is surrounded by cops and criminals alike, but she can’t bring herself to care. Before Jake can respond, another contraction hits and she doesn't need to look at the timer to know it's been less than five minutes. This time, she doesn't try to hide her pain and wails out. 

 She hears Jake hiss on the other line, "It's time, Ames."

***

The next 20 minutes is a blur. Terry drives her to Brooklyn Methodist while Charles goes to finish Jake's stakeout. Despite Amy's warnings that it's improper use of their authority, Terry throws the sirens on and they get to the hospital in record time. After informing the staff that her contractions have been pushing three minutes apart, she is quickly ushered to the Labor & Delivery Unit. Everything is happening so quickly, and Jake still isn't with her. If the contractions weren't keeping her otherwise preoccupied, she'd be freaking out for that reason alone. But god, she is in so much pain and just wants it to be over. Amy doesn’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that it literally feels like a freight train keeps ramming into her stomach.

 It's not until after they give her the epidural (which Amy describes as the most euphoric experience - sweet relief from the pain) that Jake finally opens the door to her room. He's grinning from ear to ear and holding a bouquet of Amy's favorite flowers, "It's happening!!!" 

 Amy smiles, feeling content as she watches her monitor and sees (note sees-- not feels. This epidural thing is amazing) what looks to be a huge contraction, "Yeah, it is."

 "How are you feeling?" Jake takes the seat next to her bed, kissing her forehead as he sits down. 

 "I'm better now that you're here." 

***

 Over the course of the hour, members of the squad trickle their way into Amy’s room. Even Gina makes it. When she hugs Amy and murmurs something about how amazing motherhood is, Amy tears up again. She wishes she could capture this moment—a rare ‘Gina is actually my friend’ moment—forever. When Charles and Rosa arrive, they tell her and Jake all about the end of the stakeout. 

 “You should have seen Boyle. Literally crying while reading through the Miranda rights,” Rosa describes, “I’ve never seen anything like it. The perp was so confused.”

 “I can’t help it! We are about to meet the summation of your love for each other, who wouldn’t be emotional?” Charles explains, and the whole room groans.  

 “Ugh, why do you make everything so weird?” Jake is laughing so hard and his eyes are crinkled. Amy takes a mental picture of her husband and their weird co-workers/friends. This baby is going to have the best life with the best people.

 The squad is a good distraction from what's about to happen. Their families arrive too, each taking turns to spend time with Jake and Amy. The entire time, Jake is by her side, grasping her hands in his own. His smile hasn’t faded. She's never seen him quite so giddy. It's a good look on him.

 Eventually, the doctor comes in and tells her it's time. Jake squeezes her hand again before he leaves to get in scrubs. Amy is so scared, but at the same time she’s never experienced such anticipated joy in her life—it’s almost time. She's almost a mom. 

 ***

 Several hours later, Amy is leaning against Jake, purely exhausted but running on so much adrenaline she can't sleep. Jake is cradling their baby, a daughter they've named Ella. Visitors have since come and gone, and it's now just their small family. Ella is sleeping soundly, bundled in a soft knitted blanket Karen made for her with a matching bow covering her dark, curly hair. Her eyelashes are long and thick, and Amy is certain she's never seen anything so beautiful. 

 Jake presses a kiss to Amy's temple and speaks so softly, "You did amazing, baby. I'm so proud of you." 

 She blushes, leaning further into his side and gently brushing her finger across Ella's cheek, "You were right, Jake. This is so much better." 

 ***

The End. 

Also on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042836

[carlynagisa]

Secret Valentine fic~ I didn’t fall for you you fucking tripped me!

Summary: How to get one Nakahara Chuuya to agree to a Valntine's date: Fall for him. Literally. Or how Dazai Osamu broke his ankle and miraculously healed in the span of an hour.

Pairing: Dazai/Chuuya Rating: G - General Audiences Warnings: no warnings apply :)

Notes: Dear @nakaharali-chan I’m your Secret Valentine and I hope you're happy with this happy fluffy skk piece! Unfortuately you didn't give me any prompts so I kinda winged it? Also greetings to the entire SKK Trash discor server, you guys are pretty damn cool!!

Hope you like it and enjoy!!

AO3

“Who in their right mind thought that class at 8 am in the fucking morning was a good idea?” Chuuya grumbled while basically slumping into his seat, just seconds before the bell rang. His head fell onto the table in front of him with a loud thud, body and mind too tired to lift himself up.

Tachihara next to him only raised his brows slightly before sliding his spare coffee in front of his tired friend. “I much prefer this to Fukuzawa-san’s 8 pm class. Now that’s suicide.”

Regaining his senses enough to smell the heavenly scent of the freshly brewed coffee in front of him, Chuuya dragged his head up, bleary eyes turning to the other redhead while blindly groping for the beverage in front of him. “Okay, who are you and what happened to Tachihara? Did you murder him?” He yelped after taking a generous sip of the coffee, belatedly noticing that it was still quite hot – definitely freshly brewed. At least he was awake now, albeit slightly.

“You’re way too cheery.”

Tachihara’s fingers drummed on his table. “Dude, isn’t it obvious? Today is Valentine’s Day!” He gave Chuuya an incredulous look once realizing that the other wasn’t impressed at all. “Don’t tell me you forgot about this, mister popular?”

Was it already too late to reassign to another class, preferably later in the day? Chuuya could kick himself in the shin for his naivety while deciding on his college classes.

He chugged down the rest of the coffee – albeit it was still too hot and surely burned more of his taste buds than it should – finally able to face his classmate and the rest of what was to come.

“You mean the overly commercialized fake holiday that is supposed to celebrate love but rather celebrates capitalism in all its glory? How could I ever forget about that?”

“So you forgot about it.”

“Entirely.” Chuuya let out a deep sigh before bending down and sifting through his backpack. “Imagine my utter joy when I was nearly jumped by a freshman that tried to shove chocolate down my throat. Or when an entire group of sophomores literally ganged up on me.”

Finally he found what he was looking for. Without a word he threw a bundle over at Tachihara’s confused face. “You can have it.” He rolled his eyes in annoyance at the thought of those stupid hopeful girls that declared their undying love to him without ever talking to him, let alone getting to know him. Was everyone going crazy today?

Unclasping the bundle, Tachihara let out a whistle while studying the amount of chocolate that was wrapped in it. “And imagine that the day only started. Give me some of your popularity?” He said while inspecting a piece of especially colorfully decorated chocolate. “Think I can give this to Gin?”

“You want to ask her out?”

“Yeah.” Poor guy, he’d never stand a chance.

“She’ll eat you alive.”

“That’s why the chocolate! She’ll hopefully be busy with it. And let’s hope her brother doesn’t find out first… He won’t only eat me alive but rather roast and cook me before that.”

Chuuya laughed at the image of Akutagawa Ryuunosuke letting out his wrath because his little sister was being courted. That wouldn’t be the first time, Gin was rather popular these days.

Chuuya snatched a piece of innocently looking chocolate which he held out for the other redhead. “Then you should give her this. Dark chocolate is her favorite.” She’d kill him for the fancy colorful one. “Although. isn’t it pretty impudent giving her chocolate that isn’t even self-made?”

“We don’t want to let it get to waste, huh?” Tachihara winked. He wanted to say something else but the professor used this exact moment to make his entrance. Chuuya knew that he was in for an interrogation later. He slumped on his desk once more and let out a deep huff, this was going to be a long day.

*

“Sooo,” Tachihara began after the two left the room to get to their next class. “Mister popular.”

“Stop calling me that,” Chuuya groaned. He hated that nickname. It wasn’t his fault that the female student body was way too hormone ridden to just leave him alone and became especially obnoxious during this time of the year. He wasn’t even that good looking! And definitely not nice enough to them to warrant such behavior. Why they were so fixated on him was still beyond him.

At least he was not first place on the popular bachelor scale, and yes such a thing did exist. This arguable honor went to a true idiot who might have sported the good looks and the brain but had a rather rotten character. That guy cut a swath through girls’ hearts and completely acted on their foolishly adoration towards him. Chuuya was always very adamant not to get thrown into one pot with the likes of him. Stupid bastard.

Dodging another incoming underclassman who surely wanted to give him even more chocolate, Chuuya hurried through the corridor. “I still don’t know what they want from me.”

Tachihara was hurrying along next to him. Chuuya noticed the bewildered look with which the other fixated him even without turning towards him. “Um, hello? Maybe because you’re quite hot? Ah, no homo, you know?” Chuuya rolled his eyes at that but snorted regardless. “Seriously, you’re one of the best-looking guys here. And it seems like you’re forever single, so you’re not only available but they also want to be the one person to break your unattainable bad-boy status.”

That statement stopped him. Chuuya would like to defend himself for the last part – while he dressed rather scandalous, leather jackets and chokers were among his favorites, and yes, he liked to smoke – he wasn’t a bad-boy by a long shot. He even helped out at volunteering jobs, thank you very much.

But the first part was much more concerning. They stood in the middle of the hallway in front of the stairs now, effectively blocking the way.

“Tachihara… available? Seriously? You do know I’m gay right?” The redhead was pretty sure that the whole college knew about his sexuality by now. He wasn’t keen on hiding it, what was the point of it anyway? Which made it even more surprising that the girls seemingly tended to flock towards him.

Tachihara next to him laughed awkwardly. “Of course I know! I’m pretty sure they also know about this. It’s just…”

“Just what.” It was a growl now.

“It’s just,” and now the other was definitely looking away on purpose. “Don’t explode, Chuuya, okay? It’s just that they have this weird fantasy about you. You know, making the gay man falling for them, being that special girl and all that shit.” What the fuck?! “And then there are the yaoi fangirls of course, who just have those weird fetishes.”

What. The. Fuck.

If Chuuya’s mood was bad before, now it was below zero degrees. “What the fuck? I’m not some fetish come true? What is this Fifty Shades of Bullshit?”

His friend pointedly looked at the ground now. “It’s just what I heard. Apparently people fall for this kind of set-up. B-but I’m pretty sure that people just love you Chuuya, you are pretty awesome. So, just accept some of those Valentine gifts and give them a chance?”

Fuck this shit. Fuck this entire day. He had enough.

He couldn’t help letting out another growl while twirling towards the stairs. Chuuya had enough.

“Fuck this shit. I’m going home.”

“B-but we still have class?!”

He. Had. Enough.

“I don’t give a damn! I’m going home, avoiding this entire Valentine shit. I’m tired of people proclaiming their baseless love and people ‘falling for me’.” Because he knew this wasn’t true. Chuuya had been unloved for his entire 22 years of living and it wouldn’t change just because he was giving chances. So far nobody had really fallen in love with him anyway.

“And for your information-“

“Watch out!!!”

Chuuya’s tirade was cut short rather abruptly by a loud ruckus and an even louder voice yelling before he was hit with what suspiciously felt like a steamroller and fell to the floor with a crash.

Thanking his quick reflexes that supported himself on his elbows, thus saving him from most injuries, Chuuya still found himself face-front on the cold floor which surely hadn’t been properly cleaned in a long while. Absolutely great.

Even better, the heavy weight on his back indicated that whoever had the genius idea of flinging themselves down the stairs a little too fast and therefore tumbling them down instead of using the proper way had landed much more comfortably than himself.

“Oops,” the person on his back laughed. “That’s not the downfall I was expecting.”

“And what did you expect instead?” Chuuya grumbled, still lying helplessly on the ground. The nerve! Whoever this was, they clearly were in no hurry to get up and moving.

The person – definitely a guy – hummed. “If I had landed only a little bit more face-first I could’ve easily broken my neck; if you wouldn’t have stopped my fall that is.”

“What a wonderful thing that I was in the right place and cushioned your fall, huh? And I still do by the way!” If Chuuya was close to erupting earlier, now was the perfect moment to finally let it out. Which guy would be this obnoxious to-

“Wonderful?? More like tragic! You ruined my opportunity!”

Ah. Dazai Osamu then. Just peachy.

Was it something about today or was it just the universe or whatever karma there was that decided it would be fun to fuck over Chuuya completely on this so called holiday? Who else could have done such a stunt and accidentally fallen down the stairs at the exact same moment Chuuya was passing them but Dazai freaking Osamu, school’s resident genius slash lunatic and to the redhead’s begrudging admittance the real number one heartbreaker of their college.

Accidentally my ass, Chuuya thought, this was definitely another one of Dazai’s famous suicide antics. Could he not have jumped down the building instead? And he surely must have seen Chuuya, right? So why not wait until the smaller male had been out of the way.

Oh yeah, Dazai was an asshole, that’s why.

Said asshole apparently found Chuuya’s still lying form rather comfortable, at least he made no indication to move.

“Ah! Is that you chibi?” Another thing about Dazai: Chuuya couldn’t stand him. School playboy or not, his character was just obnoxious and generally off-putting. “What are you doing down there?”

“Obviously I’m enjoying the view. The ground is rather comfortable, why don’t you join me, bastard?”

That finally got Dazai to move. Even if it meant that the brunet was suddenly appearing up close in his point of vision.

Dazai cocked his head to the side, studying Chuuya with a one eyed glance. It seemed like the idiot had hurt himself again, half his face was hidden under bandages and a big plaster. It matched his appearance wonderfully, with all the other bandages around his arms and neck and god knows where else. Either Dazai was the unluckiest person on earth (and that was rather impossible, since Chuuya was positive that he currently took that spot) or he was even more freakish than everybody thought.

The girls seemed to like it at least.

The redhead couldn’t figure out if the other found what he was looking for, but Dazai suddenly shook his head while his gaze finally left Chuuya. “I think the floor is nothing for me, chibikko, but whatever floats your boat.” Still he made no attempt to stand up.

Hushed whispers harshly broke Chuuya’s own stare and brought his attention back to his surroundings. While definitely not a shy person and generally immune and uncaring towards any kind of gossip, it was hard to ignore the whispers about how two of the most eligible bachelors – who couldn’t even stand each other all that much! – of their entire college were randomly lying in the middle of the corridor together.

Shoving Dazai away from him for good, Chuuya hastily rushed back to his feet, brushing off imaginary (or not so imaginary, the grime on the ground was very real after all) dust. Tachihara next to him chuckled. “So now it’s not only the girls falling for you, huh?”

“Oh shut up, you asshole.” It was in good nature though. Tachihara wouldn’t make fun of him in earnest. Hopefully nobody else in the perimeter would. They wouldn’t dare.

All except one.

“Which girl would ever fall for someone that small? They’d have to bend down all the time like they’re talking to a child!” Thankfully Dazai was still in a wonderful position seated on the floor, perfect for Chuuya to kick him in the hip.

“You shut up as well, bastard. What are you still doing there on the floor?”

The other made no motion to move at all. Instead he only raised his arms at Chuuya expectantly, depicting a strange picture of a one-sided hug.

“Waiting for you to pick me up, obviously. I might have twisted my ankle during the fall and can’t walk, silly.”

Chuuya’s ears were growing hot, a clear sign for the upcoming blush that threatened to erupt on his face and that would clash horribly with his hair. He was overly aware of the student body that still watched the scene playing out attentively. The gossip would only grow worse and worse now.

After still not being picked up, Dazai started sporting a very obvious pout. “Since it’s your fault, chibi, you should at least help me up.”

His fault?! What the hell? That idiot had fallen on him!

“You fell on me!”

Tachihara next to him mumbled “Don’t you mean for?” Chuuya gave him a nasty look.

“But Chuu-yaaa!”

“Don’t Chuuya me!” Embarrassment now fully visible on his face, Chuuya hastily dragged Dazai up towards him, ignoring how the other rather tried to hug him. “I’m going to drop ya!”

Apparently the other male had really hurt his ankle in some way, – or he was acting fantastically, this was still Dazai they were speaking of – he heavily winced once Chuuya tried to let go and his right foot gave out under him. “Ouch ouch ouch!”

With a heavy sigh Chuuya moved one of the taller one’s arms around his shoulder. Fucking lanky people. “Stop acting like a baby, it’s your own fault.”

Dazai hobbled rather unsuccessfully on one foot. “I already said that it’s your fault! If it hadn’t been for you I would have fallen on my neck, hopefully breaking it, and I would not have a broken ankle now!”

“Hell, it’s not broken! But I’m still letting a doctor check you up.”

By now there was at least some movement regarding them. Dazai was even more useless than before but Chuuya slowly got them moving, albeit slowly. Not quick enough to escape the ever growing crowd around them. At least nobody would try to give him chocolate now…

He waved Tachihara goodbye, promising his friend to catch up with him once he delivered the annoyance on his shoulders to the doctor’s office.

Except, they did not go there.

Oh no, after half the way freaking Dazai suddenly decided that he would rather not see a doctor at all. Possibly broken ankle or not.

“You even get another stupid bandage for your growing collection!” Chuuya was exasperated. But Dazai wouldn’t budge, weight suddenly slumping around his shoulder, threatening to drag him down like a sack of potatoes.

“Nah. Don’t wanna.” Stupid pouting child! Chuuya should just drop him-

“I know!” Dazai suddenly beamed, picking up his weight again. “Since you hurt me, chibbiko, you should make up for it. You can take me out for a consolation date!”

What the-

*

And that was the story of how one Nakahara Chuuya suddenly found himself roped into a Valentine’s Day date with his worst enemy after falling flat on his face.

He wasn’t sure how Dazai had gotten Chuuya to agree at all. Maybe it was the puppy eyes… maybe it was Dazai acting like a sack of potatoes again. Anyway, he ended up seated opposite of one Dazai Osamu, hesitantly sipping on his coffee while the other happily slurped on an overpriced latte abomination.

Dazai suspiciously didn’t mention his hurt ankle anymore.

Instead, he talked about everything and nothing. After an hour, Chuuya already knew everything about Dazai’s latest obsession with Instagram food blogs (yes, of course the brunet took a picture of their drinks), how boring his latest literature classes were ever since Oda-sensei left to teach grade schoolers instead (Chuuya found their current literature topic, European poets, rather fascinating) and how drowning was apparently a less painful suicide method than asphyxiation via plastic bag (Chuuya had NO opinion on that one).

It was rather fascinating.

At first, Chuuya had felt utterly uncomfortable and wanted nothing more than leave. What was he supposed to talk about with a person who shared none of his interests, moved in entirely different social groups and with whom most if not all his conversations so far consisted only of jarring insults and merciless teasing?

It turned out that there was no need to think up topics to talk about at all. Dazai kept up a pleasant flow of talking, even asking Chuuya questions and for his opinions rather often, initiating a real conversation after a while.

Dazai himself suddenly seemed to bloom, his entire posture was more relaxed than Chuuya had ever seen and the disinterested and cold look in his one visible eye slowly grew more and more warm and cheerful. Chuuya on the other side felt more and more comfortable and dare he say intrigued by the enigma sitting in front of him.

All in all it was… nice.

At least until the implications of the calendar date changed their dynamics in the form of a cheerful server in a dreadfully pink apron.

“Hello you two!” The light-haired server beamed, holding a plate in one hand. “And a happy Valentine! You two make a wonderful couple! Treat’s on the house!” With a beaming smile he placed the plate onto their table, winked and skipped back to the counter towards a disgruntled dark haired male who sported an equally awful pink apron and who hit him on the head after the waiter tried to jump him.

Dazai’s eye became impossibly big as he studied the chocolate mousse in front of them. Chocolate mousse that was shaped like a heart… Chuuya’s stomach suddenly jumped.

Ah yes. He totally forgot about Valentine’s Day. It was rather nice not being flogged by pushy girls for once. But this…

“Say Dazai…” Said brunet raised his head in question after taking more pictures of their dessert. “Did we just go here because you wanted free food?”

Dazai laughed – Chuuya couldn’t tell if it was real or fake. Dazai wasn’t easy to figure out.

“Of course!”

Ah, so that’s how it was. It was too suspicious after all that Dazai would suddenly go on a date with Chuuya and have fun with him without any ulterior motives. Even if those ulterior motives were just free food, the smaller male couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappoint and… hurt?

Pff, as if, Dazai and he weren’t even friends. They were more like enemies, not being able to stand the other for longer than a few minutes. Of course the other was only playing around. And if he got a kick out of playing stupid gullible Chuuya, all the better for him. Consolation date, my ass.

Deeming the pictures he took good enough, Dazai decided to dig into the chocolate mousse, very visibly enjoying its flavor. He even moaned a little in satisfaction.

“Aren’t you eating?” Chuuya didn’t even touch his own spoon. He was not hungry any more.

“No you can have it.” Well, he had taken the other out and even paid for their drinks, that was good enough right? Then he could leave now and let the other be, his ankle seemed good enough to get going.

Standing up, Chuuya reached for his jacket when a hand suddenly gripped his wrist tightly.

“Don’t go,” Dazai murmured, spoon and dessert abandoned.

“Didn’t you get what you wanted?” Chuuya mumbled, trying to drag his wrist back towards him. “You don’t need me anymore, I already paid-“

“I said what I meant.” Dazai’s grip tightened, the look in his eye now determined. Chuuya noticed how its warm chocolate brown color turned dark. “I wanted to go on a date with you. I want to be here with you.”

“Yeah right, you just wanted me to pay for you.” He knew that he sounded bitter but Chuuya had his fair share of disappointing dates so far, guys and girls alike who were either in for his looks or just to use him to pay for all their commodities. “It’s fine, I had fun and this was probably the best Valentine’s Day I had so far. To think that a commercial fake holiday and your company could be fun! Thanks for that I guess. No need to play nice anymore.”

The hand on his wrist finally loosened its tight grip, instead Dazai used it to shield his mouth and chuckled.

“Oh my god, Chuuya’s cute.” It took said person a moment to realize that he had not misheard and he seriously got called cute by Dazai Osamu. And judging by his earnest laughter and again warm eye, he was serious about this. That was quite the step up from being called short or a slug. Cute, huh?

Sensing Chuuya’s surprise, Dazai elaborated.

“I literally fell for you, doesn’t that account for nothing?”

Fell… for him?

Wait a second.

“You didn’t fall down the stairs by accident?” Could Dazai really be such an idiot?

“Of course not! I already told you I did it on purpose.” He was really such an idiot. “I just didn’t do it to try to kill myself for once though, it’s rather that I saw you standing there and was like ‘why not?’”

Why not? What. An. Idiot!

“You flung yourself down a staircase just to get a date with me?”

Dazai even had the nerve to look proud. “I sure did!”

“And you couldn’t just have asked me out like a normal person?”

The proud smile faltered. “… I could have?”

With a deep sigh, Chuuya slumped back down onto his seat, finally taking his spoon in his hand. Deliberately ignoring his opposite’s gaping stare, Chuuya dug into the rest of the previously abandoned chocolate mousse, letting out a small moan himself when the sweet taste exploded in his mouth. This was heavenly! He decided to let Dazai hanging until he finished off the rest of the dessert on his own, not even throwing as much as a glance at the more and more restless brunet.

Only after he dropped his spoon and licked off the leftover chocolate on his lips (Dazai’s eye followed his tongue; Chuuya did do it deliberately of course) he turned towards the hopeful male.

“Maybe. I probably would have said no, who knows. But your plan was not really nice.” Chuuya raised an eyebrow, Dazai’s hopeful look did not falter though, he knew the smaller one well enough to know that he wasn’t serious.

“I’m sorry!” Dazai whined, playing along.

Hook, line and sinker.

With a big grin on his face, Chuuya stated. “If you’re really sorry, you should prove it.” His confidence was finally back and it felt good.

Dazai was sporting an equally wide grin now. “How?”

“Take me out on a real date. No stupid Valentine’s Day, no scheming and lying.” Chuuya motioned towards Dazai’s now clearly fake ankle injury.

“And you’re paying. I have expensive tastes.”

Everything today had tried to piss him off as much as possible. Chuuya deserved some piece after such a day – who knew that Valentine’s Day might turn out to be more than a fake commercial holiday?

“Who would’ve thought…” Dazai mumbled under his breath, still not low enough not to be picked up by Chuuya.

“Last chance,” Chuuya shook his head. “How about Friday?”

Dazai slowly held out his hand, with that warm smile on his face again that made Chuuya’s stomach flutter.

“It’s a date.”

[carleencl]

Carleen Goes to Taiwan: Day 1 (Taichung)

Taiwan – the first country to explore this 2019! It is the country known for tourist spots’ such as the 91-floor Taipei 101, different memorial halls and parks, shopping districts, night markets, and more. It is also the origin of everyone’s favorite drink - Milk Tea!

My travel experience in Taiwan will be divided per day with our itinerary and expenses. At the end of each post will be my vlog. My blog and vlog will go hand in hand since some information and visuals will be on my blog but not on my vlog and vice versa. So I recommend for you to read my blog and watch my vlog to know my adventures in Taiwan.

Our flight to Taipei, Taiwan was last May 22, 2019 via Cebu Pacific and was originally scheduled at 10:35pm. It was delayed by an hour and we boarded at around 11:30pm. We arrived at Taipei at around 01:30 in the morning.

After landing, we went to the immigration, grab our luggage and claimed our sim card. We bought our sim card via Klook which costs PHP 377 each. (Tip: Double check if the claiming counters are open 24 hours especially if you have an early morning flight. Some options in Klook have counters open from 7am – 11pm only).

Since we arrived in early morning, we rode a taxi going to our hotel in Ximen named, Diary of Ximen Hotel. The taxi fare was NT$ 1,100 (PHP 1,870) good for 4 people with 4 luggage. It was an hour travel time from Taoyuan International Airport to our hotel and we arrived at around 03:30am.

Diary of Ximen Hotel is situated near Exit 6 of MRT Ximen Station which was a very good location. Also, the hotel is located in a building with other hotels too. We really did like the hotel since it was very near the Ximending night market, staff were very accommodation and nice, and bottled waters were given daily. There was also free flowing juice, tea, and coffee on the hotel’s reception. We booked our hotel via Agoda and no breakfast was included. If you would like to avail their breakfast buffet, it will be NT$ 100 (PHP 170) per person.

DAY 1 MAY 23, 2019

First day in Taiwan and we were greeted by the drizzling rain.

1st day’s itinerary was to go to the province of Taichung, Taiwan. We went there by riding the MRT first from Ximen Station to Taipei Main Station then transferred from MRT Taipei Main Station to HSR Taichung Station.

We preferred to ride their High Speed Rail (HSR) since it will only take 45 minutes to 1 hour from Taipei to Taichung. Other cheaper options were the bus  with 3-4 hours travel time, and the Taiwan Railways Administration (TRA) with 1-2 hours travel time. However, during that time, Klook has a promo of Buy One, Get One for HSR going from Taipei to other locations that costs PHP 945 (PHP 472.50/each). For our way back, we also chose the HSR but got the original price of PHP 886 each via Klook also.

Riding the HSR was actually comfortable. There were toilets, and vending machines in the train. WiFi was also available and each seat has a fold able tables similar to airplanes.

Upon arriving at HSR Taichung Station, we decided to grab a taxi going to Rainbow Village. Our taxi driver was very nice and friendly and suggested if we would want to avail his service to drive us around Taichung for NT$ 3500 (PHP 5,950) for 8 hours. At first we were hesitant but we compared prices in Uber and it was indeed cheaper to avail his service. We compared and saw that one way going to Rainbow Village is almost NT$900, which we computed with the other destination we would be paying either the same price or higher.

RAINBOW VILLAGE

Seeing Rainbow Village was literally colorful like the rainbow. There was no charge upon entering the site.

Rainbow Village is located at 408, Nantun District, Taichung City, Taiwan is open daily from 8am - 6pm.

The village was originally for demolition however, Rainbow Grandpa painted the houses and saved it from being demolished. The village was originally the place soldiers stayed at before. Neighboring houses were sold but Rainbow Grandpa remained.

At the end of the village is a room about its history and some information about Rainbow Grandpa.

I actually felt happy being in Rainbow Village. The colorful artworks brings so much joy.

ZHONGSHE FLOWER MARKET

Zhongshe Flower Market was next on our itinerary. This is widely popular because of the beautiful flowers you will be surrounded at.

It is located at No. 333, Section 5, Sanfeng Road, Houli District, Taichung City, Taiwan.

The Flower Market is open daily from 8am to 6pm and there is an entrance fee of NT$120 (PHP 204) for adults and NT$60 (PHP 102) for children.

Even though it as muddy during that day, we actually enjoyed having photos with the lovely flowers. Below were the photos from the flower market:

LUNCH AT WEST DISTRICT

We asked our driver to bring us to Chun Shui Tang since it is a well known milk tea place in Taichung. We were dropped at the West District if I’m not mistaken.

Before trying the milk tea, we looked for a place first where we could have lunch.

We saw a small restaurant and tried it. Name of the restaurant is in Chinese and that explains why I didn’t include the name here. 😅

The staff only speaks Chinese thus, we had a little difficulty ordering. However, there was a very nice customer of theirs that knows how to speak English. I think she noticed we had trouble ordering and helped us. The customer was the one translating, for us to order. We didn’t got her name, but to the lady who was in this restaurant last May 23, 2019 around 1-2pm, thank you for helping for us! 🤗

It was passed lunch time and the only choices they have were Chicken Curry Rice and Pork Noodle Soup. I’m not a fan of curry, so I ordered their Pork Noodle Soup which costs NT$ 100 (PHP 170).

CHUN SHUI TANG

Our first milk tea in Taiwan!

Serving was so large that one glass is good for 1-2 people. The glass is bigger than my hand and same size as my face! 😂

Both the original pearl milk tea and oreo milk tea tastes good! However, when the milk tea is compared here in Manila, our is way way sweeter even at 50% sugar. It seems that milk tea from Taiwan is not that sweet.

A medium Pearl Milk Tea costs NT$130 (PHP 221), and medium Oreo Milk Tea costs NT$ 120 (PHP 204).

FENGJIA NIGHT MARKET

I wasn’t able to have photo from the night  market in Taichung. However, I had some videos of it on my vlog. 😊

Fengjia Night Market is similar with Ximending Night Market. Both has shops for clothes and skin care. They also have street foods left and right.

I was able to try the Fried Chicken from Angel’s that costs NT$ 70 (PHP 119). I really do like the fried chicken since it was not dry and very tasty!

Afterwards, we actually went home already since our 8-hour trip with our driver is almost ending. We bought extra food before heading back to out hotel at Ximending Night Market

So that’s day 1 of our Taiwan trip. Next Taiwan posts, soon!

__________

To see more of what we saw in Taichung, you may watch my vlog below:

__________

Below was our itinerary and expenses. Hope this will help you to be able to plan your travels to Taiwan.

ITINERARY

DAY 1 Part 1: May 22-23, 2019 (Wed/Thurs) 07:00 pm - Meet-up at NAIA Terminal 3 10:35 pm - ETD from Manila 12:55 am - ETA to Taipei (Taoyuan International Airport, Terminal 1) 01:00 am - Immigration, Get Luggage & Sim Card 02:00 am - Go to the hotel 03:00 am - Check-in at Diary of Ximen Hotel

DAY 1 Part 2: May 23, 2019 (Thursday) 07:00 am - Wake-Up 08:00 am - BREAKFAST 09:00 am - Leave for Taichung 09:15 am - ETD:  MRT Ximen Station to Taipei Main Station 09:20 am - ETA:  MRT Taipei Main Station 09:30 am - Taipei to Taichung via High Speed Rail 10:30 am - Arrival Taichung Station 10:45 am - To Rainbow Village 11:15 pm - ETA:  Rainbow Village (Caihongjuan Village) 12:15 pm - Leave for Zhongshe Flower Market 12:30 pm - Zhongshe Flower Market 02:00 pm - LUNCH 04:00 pm - Fengjia Night Market 06:00 pm - Go back to Taipei Main Station 07:30 pm - Ximending Night Market 08:30 pm - Back to hotel

EXPENSES

SIM Card (Klook) - PHP 377 Taxi (Airport to Hotel) - NT$1, 100 (PHP 1, 870; PHP467.50/ea) Breakfast at 7/11

Chicken Teriyaki Rice Meal - NT$89 (PHP 151.30)

HSR Taipei to Taichung (Klook) - PHP 945 (Buy one get one; PHP 472.50/ea) HSR Taichung to Taipei (Klook) - PHP 886/ea Taxi in Taichung (8 hours) - NT$3, 500 (PHP 5, 950; PHP1, 487.50/ea) Rainbow Village: Free Flower Market: - NT$120 (PHP 204) LUNCH

Pork Noodle Soup - NT$100 (PHP 170)

Milk Tea at Chun Shui Tang (PHP106.25/ea)

Original Pearl Milk Tea (Medium) - NT$130 (PHP221)

Oreo Milk Tea (Medium) - NT$120 (PHP204)

Fengjia Night Market: Chicken - NT$70 (PHP119) Ximending Night Market

Fried Chicken - NT$120 (PHP204; PHP51/ea)

Family Mart (Bulgogi) - NT$65 (PHP 110.50)

Family Mart (Milk tea) - NT$28 (PHP47.60)

Total: PHP4, 650.15

*Items from Klook were paid in advanced

*Conversion of NT$ to PHP are rounded and used NT$ 1 = PHP 1.70

Other blog post related to Taiwan below: 🔗 TAIWAN DAY 2 BLOG POST

[adityaojhablr-blog]

Pune Street Food Blog:“Eat ,Eat ,Eat Repeat”

Pune street food is as exciting as it is mouthwatering.

Not only do you have a chance to taste some incredibly flavorful combinations of ingredients, but standing along the humid streets of Pune, watching countless people go by, is part of what adds to your experience.

1. Vada Pav

 Where: Ashok Vada Pav

Address: Near symbiosis International school, Viman Nagar Open hours: 11 am – 9:30 pm on Monday – Saturday (closed on Sunday)

If you take a walk down any street in Pune, you’re bound to quickly come across vada pav, one of Maharashtra most popular and widely available street food snacks.

Also referred to as Maharashtra’s vegetarian burger, vada pav consists of a spiced mashed potato mixture, which is deep fried into a patty, packed into a white fluffy bun, and garnished with a variety of different chutneys and spices for seasoning.

Although it sounds rather simple, and it is, it’s one of greatest tasting vegetarian burgers you’ll likely ever eat. The chutney makes all the difference. And also, don’t miss those fried chilies on the side to give you a kick of heat and flavor.

2. Bhel Puri-

Where: Shinde Chaat Corner Address: Near Viman Nagar CCD, Viman Nagar Open hours: 10 am – 1 am daily

Another Pune street food you’ll commonly find throughout the city, especially along the busy streets like Viman Nagar, FC Road and MG Road, is bhelpuri. Although it’s common around India now with many variations, bhelpuri is one of the homegrown Indian snacks from Pune.

The basic recipe includes puffed rice and sev, which are mixed together with potatoes, onions, tomatoes, again a variety of chutney, and it’s often topped with a handful of chopped cilantro. The result is a crunchy snack that’s tangy, spicy, and sweet from all the sauces, with a wonderful balance of flavor. It’s the type of Mumbai street food that once you start eating it, you can’t stop.

3. PAV BHAJI-

Where-Pushkar sweet house

Address: 2/213 ,lane no.3, Viman Nagar Open hours: 10 am – 1 am daily

Pav bhaji has an interesting history, and it was originally a late night food that was made for workers from leftovers. A combination of vegetables were mashed up, mixed with spices, and served with bread.

Today, the common recipe includes potatoes and tomatoes, mashed up with spices, and served with buttered toasted bread to mop it all up. It’s simple, and delicious, and it’s a street food you can’t leave Pune without trying.

4. Shwarma-

Where: Sultan Shwarmas Address: Viman Nagar ,Pune Open hours: 7 pm – 3 am daily

Shwarmas are made with boneless chicken which is cooked in spice filled gravy, and wrapped within a freshly cooked rumali roti, which is a thin roti that’s very similar to a tortilla.

A Shwarma is the perfect late night snack that you want to be eating at about 3 am in the morning, and feeling really good about it.

 5. Chai-

Where: You’ll literally find chai everywhere you look while walking around Pune. A cup should cost anywhere from 5 – 15 Rupees depending on where you are and the size of the cup.

This is not really a food, but I had to include it on this list because of its importance and dominance in the street food arena in India. Chai is not just a cup of tea, but it’s a hot and soothing brew that offers a time to take a rest from the chaotic streets of the city, to slowly sip and enjoy.

Drinking cups of hot chai on the side of the street is one of the joys of visiting India.

6. Pani Puri-

Where: Siddhu chaat centre Address: Viman Nagar, Pune Open hours: 3 pm – 12 am midnight daily

It takes some serious street food genius to come up with something like Pani Puri; who would think to add flavored water to a circular chip that gets soggy?

I’m here to tell you, it works extremely well, and it’s an absolute stunner of an Indian street food.

The little puris are poked with a hole, half stuffed with potatoes and chickpeas, seasoned with spices, and filled with chutney and flavored water. As soon as the vendor hands you one, you’ve got to eat it on spot immediately so the puri remains crunchy, and the spice filled water will collapse in your mouth with the potatoes and chickpeas.

7. Bombay Sandwich-

  Where: You’ll find Mumbai street sandwiches all over the city, especially in busy areas of the city. In the video, I had the sandwich on a street just off Pune’s Viman Nagar

If you’re like me, a sandwich isn’t the first thing that would come to mind when you’re thinking about Indian food. But when it comes to Mumbai street food, a local favorite is the Bombay sandwich, and you’ll find food vendors all over busy parts of the city whipping up grilled sandwiches with expertise.

8. Dosa-

Where: Anand Stall   Address:Viman Nagar Pune. Open hours: 8 am – 11:30 pm daily

Although dosas are originally from South India, since Pune is such a melting pot of India, the dosa is also a very common street food in Pune.

A dosa is made from a batter of rice and urad bean flour which is lightly fermented, and then fried on a hot circular plate in a thin crepe like shape. Once it’s golden and crispy on the bottom, any number of fillings can be added to the center. The traditional version is the masala dosa, where masala potatoes are added to the dosa, and it’s served with sambar and coconut chutney on the side.

[thebeautybunny]

The 5 Best Foundations for Oily Skin

Ahh, the joys of having oily skin!!!!!!! 🙃 That notable shiny forehead/nose duo that makes its inevitable debut at approximately 2 pm (sometimes earlier, depending on just HOW oil-prone you are). If you're anything like me, you're makeup can go from sexy to sloppy within the span of an hour. While having oily skin is beneficial in the long run (it holds anti-aging properties and reduces wrinkles, so your older self will thank you!) , it can be annoying when it slips and slides your foundation around, I totally get that. That is why I have comprised a list of my all-time favorite MUST-HAVE foundations that will last through even the oiliest of faces! Mama Chiyo understands your issue boo, and she's here to help. Keep reading to discover the best foundations for oily skin types. 

#1 NARS ALL DAY LUMINOUS WEIGHTLESS FOUNDATION ($49)

This foundation has surprised me from the day we first met. I was working at Sephora when I took home a sample of this baby and tested it out in a photoshoot. I was so awestruck at how beautifully this foundation photographed! I was shooting on a hot summer day with no air conditioning in my house, yet this managed to stay put through the sweat and oil. I bought the full version of this foundation, but quickly forgot about it as my foundation collection grew rapidly. One night when filming a makeup tutorial I decided to use it and thought, WAIT, WHY DID I EVER STOP?! This foundation is exactly what it's named: luminous, weightless, and lasts all day. Although it's considered luminous, you can add a mattifying primer for that extra barrier to protect from getting super oily. I give this baby 10 out of 10 hearts! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Pictured: wearing the Nars All Day Luminous Weightless Foundation

INGREDIENTS:  Scarlet Spiderling Root Extract: Reduces discoloration over time to create a brighter, more even skin tone, while also diminishing the appearance of future dark spots. Vitamins A, C, and E: Deliver antioxidant benefits to help protect the skin.

Click here to purchase this foundation

#2 COVER FX POWER PLAY FOUNDATION ($44)

This foundation is pretty thicc, so if you're going for a more light coverage look, you can use a large stippling face brush to apply it, instead of a beauty blender. This foundation makes my skin look immaculate. Even though it's too dark for me now, I can still wear it by mixing it with one of my lighter foundations, and it mixes perfectly for me! I give this one 8 out of 10 hearts, only because it can feel heavy if you go full coverage with it. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Pictured: wearing the Cover FX Power Play Foundation

INGREDIENTS:  Alteromonas Ferment Filtrate: Helps defend against pollution and environmental stressors. Trio of Ultra-fine Powders: Invisibly control shine and weightlessly blur pores for an airbrushed effect.

Click here to purchase this foundation

#3 FENTY BEAUTY PRO FILT'R FOUNDATION ($34)

Okay, let's be real here- who DOESN'T f*ck with Fenty Beauty?! Rihanna is killing it in the makeup game right now and that's undeniable. I remember when this product launched and I got my hands on this foundation. It's so good that I'm literally almost done with my 3rd bottle, LOL 😭 keep going back for more. To be honest, this is hands-down my favorite foundation of the bunch. Almost instantly after applying it, you can see the formula mattifying into your face, it almost dries down to a powder-like texture. It literally makes your face look facetuned, lol. AND, FOR A HIGH-END FOUNDATION, IT'S AFFORDABLE!! (God bless you, Rihanna. We forever stan.) My only problem with it is that if you use a silicone primer with it, you actually end up looking more oily later on in the day. I would stick with just using a mattifying primer or even just a moisturizer, but for me it just doesn't work well with silicone-based primers. Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 hearts! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

pictured: wearing the Fenty Beauty Pro Filt’r Foundation

INGREDIENTS:  Free of parabens and phthalates. Water, Dimethicone, Talc, Peg-10 Dimethicone, Trimethylsiloxysilicate, Polypropylene, Isododecane, Cetyl Peg/Ppg-10/1 Dimethicone, Nylon-12, Hdi/Trimethylol Hexyllactone Crosspolymer, Phenoxyethanol, Sodium Chloride, Hydrogen Dimethicone, Glycerin, Magnesium Sulfate, Sodium Dehydroacetate, Disteardimonium Hectorite, Aluminum Hydroxide, Methicone, Benzoic Acid, Dehydroacetic Acid, Propylene Carbonate, Ethylhexylglycerin, Parfum/Fragrance, Silica, Biosaccharide Gum-4, Ananas Sativus (Pineapple) Fruit Extract, Carica Papaya (Papaya) Fruit Extract, Paullinia Cupana Seed Extract, Potassium Sorbate, Sorbic Acid.

Click here to purchase this foundation

#4 ESTEE LAUDER DOUBLE WEAR FOUNDATION ($42)

If you're looking for something really long-lasting, then this. is. IT. GURL. Once you apply this foundation, it ain't going anywhere. It even has its own special makeup remover that you can purchase separately! It stays put honey. If you are looking for something that is sweatproof, swimproof, and sexproof, then look no more! (trust me, it has passed all tests. Lol) As much as I love this foundation, when you apply it initially it looks a bit dull, because it is SO mattifying. It's not until your oils come in that it begins to appear more luminous, so keep that in mind when putting it on! You might want to use a luminating primer base like I do to get that extra glowing-from-within look. I give it 8.5 hearts babyyyy 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💕

pictured: wearing the Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation

INGREDIENTS:  Free of fragrance. Water, Cyclopentasiloxane, Trimethylsiloxysilicate, PEG/PPG-18/18 Dimethicone, Butylene Glycol, Tribehenin, Polyglyceryl-3 Diisostearate, Magnesium Sulfate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Polymethylsilsesquioxane, Methicone, Laureth-7, Xanthan Gum, Alumina, Sodium Dehydroacetate, Disteardimonium Hectorite, Cellulose Gum, Propylene Carbonate, Pentaerythrityl Tetra-Di-Butyl Hydroxyhydrocinnamate, Phenoxyethanol. May Contain: Iron Oxides, Mica, Titanium Dioxide.

Click here to purchase this foundation

#5 L'OREAL INFALLIBLE 24 HR FOUNDATION ($13) 

Before I get into the review, I would just like to clarify that NO foundation, no matter how good it is, should ever be worn for 24 hours. Wtf, thinking about a foundation being worn for that long is making me break out🤢LMAO. But does this foundation have the *potential* to last for 24 hours? .....erm, no. Not quite. But I did wear it for 10 hours at Hard Summer music festival last summer, and it lasted the whole day! And if it can last throughout an entire music festival in 100-degree weather, then it’s good enough for me. For it's price, this drugstore foundation is the definition of getting the most bang for your buck. Upon applying it you can definitely tell that it's full coverage, but looks SO good as a light-coverage foundation as well!!!!! It applies the best with a damp beauty blender and keeps the shiny forehead/nose duo away. My only issue with it is that it emphasizes my pores, so I always pair it with a pore-minimizing primer. If price is your biggest concern, I would recommend grabbing this gal from either Walmart or Target! It earns 8 out of 10 hearts. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

pictured: wearing the L’Oreal Infallible Total Cover 24hr Foundation

INGREDIENTS:  Aqua / Water, Dimethicone, Glycerine, Hydroxyethyl Acrylate / Sodium Acryloyldimethyl, Taurate Copolymer, Dimethicone, Crosspolymer, Synthetic Fluorphlogopite, Phenoxyethanol, Disodium Stearoyl Glutamate, Triethanolamine, Salicylic Acid, Aluminum Hydroxide, Sorbitan Isostearate, Polysorbate. May Contain: CI 77891 / Titanium Dioxide, CI 77491, CI 77492, CI 77499 / Iron Oxides.

Click here to purchase this foundation

That concludes this list of what I consider to be the BEST foundations of oily skin, but...it's not just about me! I want to know what foundations YOU love and would recommend for all the oily skin babes out there to try. Let me know in my ask box!

 As always, thanks for reading y'all! Stay beautiful.

~xoxo Chiyo 💋

[undlewear]

Yknow when you just get gradually sanded down emotionally until youre like a weird pulp honestly my whole life has been this from various sources for various reasons but quite frankly its an entirely different experience when its coming from someone i dont love at all or truly give any shits about at all like. when people i love did this shit to me at least i had that to comfort me about it i dunno, was like water to swallow a nasty horse pill or something. did it mean i didnt resent them for it later, no, but it certainly delayed the process and also made it far easier to forgive. i sleep like shit and then i wake up and feel like shit and then i go out and dont want to seek out any seratonin boosts for myself at all for like hours its like a weird intentional withdrawal of any sort of joy because im being made to feel like i dont deserve it for …truly petty asinine shit that like …nobody else gives a shit about actually? like a bagel or a plant or a stain on the counter like literally not exaggerating. i dont want to listen to music i dont want to eat i dont want to draw i dont want to play games or watch videos i just want to wallow and fester in anger for some reason and i also want to get into my car and drive away and never come back or look back. i signed a lease i live here and when this person wasnt home for like two weeks it was pretty good aside from all the responsibilities i was left with (doing for free btw while also managing work and school lmfao?) but like they come home and immediately its chaotic again immediately i dont look forward to coming back to my apartment even after being in school from 8 am to 5 pm today i still was like nah dont really wanna go home but i gotta? to get nagged and bitched at about random ass shit, to constantly get asked for help for dumb shit, to be passively aggressively nagged too. how is it that im in the same situation i was back home where i didnt even want to leave my room or do anything at all every day but instead one of the people i live with is someone who simply does not know me or care to and therefore i gotta worry about offending them if i dont feel like leaving the goddamn door open every waking hour or at all, i never have liked leaving the door open to my space because its my space and its only open to people i share it with so why would i leave it open for people who dont reside in here with me? this shit is so scrambled and a total clusterfuck and makes no sense but i am truly festering and boiling under the surface every waking moment for the past few days. why is it that everyone else’s problems and trauma or whatever the fuck is wrong with them always precedes me so when im bothered by stuff i just gotta eat it to preserve their well being and prevent a fuckin meltdown or something, just gotta eat that fuckin irritation over and over and over again and it never goes anywhere and then people wonder why im always a little pissed off or a little withdrawn. the compassion fatigue shit that i have (look it up its normal and common when people use you as an emotional support dog for the better part of your life, thanks mom n dad n other supporting cast of random strangers) anyway this compassion fatigue shit would probably yknow heal itself or gradually get better if i could go more than a month without being dragged down into somebody’s mud or blamed for their mud but that shit just aint gonna happen while living with this individual. i mean how can she not see her whole fuckin family fears her in some way or another, whole family is bored and tired of the antics, you go through life thinking everybody else is at fault for every negative feeling you endure. probably sounds weird coming from me complaining about someone this whole post but lol i know my suffering stems from a lot of shit that i did to myself and behaviors that i didnt correct/address and trauma that i buried rather than expressing it up front lol i cant blame everybody else for everything i mean a lot of it is on me but this shit ??? this shit aint