#like little terriers who think they’re big dogs

[swarple]

I want to squeeze (and hug and kiss) them no you may not judge me for it

[fingertipsmp3]

Okay look, I can’t get another dog. Not least because the people who were asking me if I’d be getting another dog within literally days or hours of Mabel’s passing would be right that it’d make me feel better

[cryptidcr3ature]

Van der Linde gang and what dog breed I’d recommend them.

Dutch: Caviler King Charles Spaniel. He doesn’t seem like the kind of person who wants a hiking dog or something super high maintenance. Sure grooming might be a factor but personality wise, it’s the dog that’ll sit there, look pretty, and not really worry about anything.

Hosea: English Setter. He would do great with a hunting dog and based off the way he hunts, he’d do better with a setter. He’d also like the sweet demeanor of the breeds standard.

Arthur: Labrador. I can imagine Arthur and his dog playing together for hours. Everything about Arthur reminds me of a lab.

John: Australian Cattle Dog. Unlike the others, John has an interesting lifestyle for a dog. I believe grooming may be more of a chore to him, but he wouldn’t mind running around with a dog for a while. I also think he’d like the guard dog aspect of a Heeler.

Javier: Scottish terrier. I feel like he’d like a little dog with an attitude problem. He’d like the independent and confident personality and the grooming challenge of the dog.

Charles: Newfoundland. He spends a lot of time alone and is more reserved than most,so I think he needs a more mellow dog. Its large size would also help protect him while alone. I also can just see Charles with a big fluffy dog.

Bill: Schnauzer. I could see him with any size, but I think Bill would thrive with one of those stubborn ass dogs. They are so loyal and so protective, but so stubborn (I’ve had 4 schnauzers in my lifetime, I love them but you can’t tell them no). He also thinks the beard makes them look more manly.

Lenny: Standard Poodle. I think Lenny would love a poodle for its intelligence. He’d have it trained to follow his every command, but also that dog would be so spoiled. Lenny would just carry it around like a little dog because he would kill a man for his puppy.

Sean: Australian shepherd. He needs a dog as wild as him. The mischief they would get into would make a nun cry. However, aussies are super smart and Sean and Lenny would compete in which dog was smarter.

Trelawny: Borzoi. He needs a dramatic ass dog. They’re beautiful and so fast, but not known to be the most intelligent of dogs. All the love to my noodle dogs though. :)

Pearson: Lhasa Apso. He needs a crusty little dog to sleep while he makes food, and then sit on his lap while he sits by the fire. Just a throw rug of a dog.

Micah: AKITA! Mean sons of bitches. They are aggressive, but loyal. Micah would like the fact it would only like him.

Reverend Swanson: Chihuahua. He needs a nervy little purse dog.

I’ll make a separate part for the girlies. :)

[meow-town]

Jealous! Dee x Reader Oneshot 「Seeing Green」

Summary : Dee arrives at a party hoping to find his crush, but envy makes an entrance and makes him reveal secrets within his heart.

Requested by @chanel-lovegood !! Thank you so much! Things have really been piling on lately, so sorry if I take a while to finish requests!

Also, I’m literALLY SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TUMBLR DELETED MY ENTIRE DRAFT FOR SOME REASON AND I HAD TO START OVER

Why was he here? Dee Shvagenbagen, antisocial know-it-all, someone who absolutely despised parties and big social gatherings. He thought they were foolish, he had better things to do. He could be reading, he could be going over school notes, he could be doing anything other than being stuffed in some suburban house with horny sixteen year olds awkwardly swaying to shitty house music. Yet here he was, grabbing onto a clear plastic cup full with water and blowing off everyone who came up to him expecting to get his number.

“Not interested.”

“But I literally just-”

“I’m not interested.”

The brunette sighed, turning on her heel and sulking away to the furthest corner. He sighed and went back on his search, scouting out for the light in this dark realm of absurdity. Turning corners, climbing up stairs to a whole other side of the party, stepping out into the front yard, and continuing to push away people who didn’t know about the concept of personal space. He continued to look for them, the only thing worth being here for. 

(f/n) (l/n).

A diamond in the rough. He didn’t expect them to be at party. From what he had gathered, they would much rather be at home than doing anything like this. He had seen social media posts of them reading or drawing or just staying in in general. Dee remembered how he had come to arrive at this party. Kids were bombarding the class group chat with messages about it, obviously, Dee couldn’t be less interested until he overheard someone speak at school. That’s what Dee did. He subconsciously eavesdropped, constantly.

“Yeah, I’ve invited (f/n) to the party. She said she’d go if I did.”

A slight twinge of hurt pecked at his chest, someone had probably spiked the water or whatever.

 His mind scattered back, scratching into the deepest corners of his brain to think of more places they could be.

‘Upstairs? No, there’s people making out up there, they wouldn’t be comfortable. Maybe they’re in the bathroom, hiding? That sounds like something they would do.’

His breath hitched in his throat once he realized. Squeezing in between people, leaving behind a trail of ‘excuse me’s and ‘coming through’s. He made his way back out through the kitchen door, leaving to the backyard. And once he slid the door closed, he saw.

There they were. Sitting atop the grass with an anxious dog on their lap.

“Sh, sh. It’s okay! They’re just loud noises, nothing’s gonna hurt you!” The terrier whimpered in response, backing up further into them.

He sighed into his lips, parting his sight. A rosy tint crept onto his cheeks, just by looking at them. (F/n), sweetest soul he’d ever met. And now was a perfect example. The sight of them holding the little creature close to their chest, stroking its fur gradually while whispering sweet words of reassurance - even while fully knowing the dog wouldn’t understand, it was adorable.

A distant song made its way to his ears.

You see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night.

Burning, it, down.

“Dee?”

“Y-yeah? Sorry, I just zoned out.”

He mentally striked himself across the face, scowling visibly while they smiled at him. “What are you doing here? I thought you hated these types of things.”

“I do, but I wanted to see someone here.” ‘You. It’s you who I wanted to see.’ “What about you?”

“A friend dragged me here along with him.”

A comforting silence took over them both. Silences were just different with (f/n), Dee thought. They silently gestured for him to sit next to them, patting the grass with one hand. With still no words spoken, he sat and shuffled closer to (f/n), cheeks still pinkish in color. He reached for the dog to scratch behind its ears and retracted his arms to prop himself up once more. Some stars were visible, but with all of the light coming from inside and the lamppost, they could only point some out.

The terrier suddenly jumped out of (f/n)’s arms to switch over to Dee. Hopping off, it strided to his side and jumped onto his lap. (F/n) looked over at him, giving him a closed-eye smile. He felt his heart flutter in his chest. Wrapping an arm languidly around the pup, his gaze returned to the skies.  How long had it been? Bit less than a year now. Around 10 months since (f/n) transferred to his school, and 8 months since he developed a crush on them. It really only got worse from there. It was a silly little crush, at first. Evolved into him thinking about them before he went to sleep, cradling his pillow. Then he began to ask around for their socials, places they would be during the weekend. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here with them right now.

He exhaled deeply, cherishing this moment.

The scent of their hair, their usual coffee order, their playlist, their favorite flower - which they had only briefly mentioned in a school trip once. He remembered every small detail he could recollect, small and unimportant as it may seem.  “Who’d you say you came here with?” He blurted out, desperate to get some form of conversation going.

“Oh, just Vitya. He’s in the school band, you’ve probably heard of him.”

His brow unconscious furrowed. Vitya. Sure, he’d heard of Vitya. Bassist and lead vocalist of the school band, as well as second hand man to Ches. He’d visited Ches’s shop every now and then only to see Vitya greet him each time. Vitya, with his ruffled brown hair and his dimples and his incredible skills in music. Who had more talent in his left pinkie finger than Dee could ever have in his entire body.

He chose to let it go, to just enjoy the time he had with (f/n) for as long as he could. Vitya could cloud his thoughts any day, but moments like these came once in a lifetime. “Why don’t you join the band? Haywire has been looking for a new member, and you seem to like the kind of music they produce.”

“Just, uh, not really interested.” Lies. Dee couldn’t play a note if his life depended on it. He tended to rush into things, to impulsively decide to learn something new and get frustrated as all hell when he wasn’t amazing at it within the first five minutes. Being intellectually gifted does that to a person. You grow up all of your life being naturally amazing at everything without having to lift a finger, and once you have to put in effort, you give up.

They sat in lively conversation for about another ten minutes, until the music re-emerged from its muffled state, as a voice shouted over it.

“(F/N)! GET OVER HERE! SOMEONE’S DEDICATING A SONG TO YOU!” (F/n)’s head darted over immediately.

“Oh shit! Really?”  The dog jumped up at the sight of their agitated state. “I’m coming! Coming!” While they scrambled to their feet, Dee swiftly pulled the critter off of him.

“I’ll come with.” He grumbled, pulling his jacket back into place. (F/n) nodded and grasped his forearm to drag him inside. They shut the door behind them, placing their plastic cup onto the kitchen counter. An electric guitar being tuned, drum kits being assembled, keyboard being tried out and a bass guitar being plugged in, much to Dee’s dismay. It wouldn’t take a genius to find out who dedicated a song to (f/n). Dee felt bad for the other members of Haywire, being dragged into an entire performance because their leader was head over heels for someone he couldn’t have.

He couldn’t have them, Dee repeated the phrase in his mind, almost to convince himself. (F/n) was destined to end up with him. It was only fair.  “This song goes out to someone who’s real special to me.” Dee blocked out the voice to the best of his abilities. He could just imagine the way Vitya looked at (f/n) when he said that. “You’re always by my side, (f/n). And I think this is a good way to show you how much I appreciate everything you do for me.”

‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not a confession.’ Dee thought, looking back at them. The starter riff begun and Dee internally facepalmed at the sound of it.

‘Wonderwall. Of all the songs you could dedicate to someone, Wonderwall. How basic and boring.’

Even with how distressed he was, the blonde always managed to critique something. His gaze flew from one person to another. The crowd staring at them like a pair of animals at the zoo, and the brunette’s sight caught directly onto (f/n).

He carried on through the entire song, adjusting his gaze every once in a while to be able to look at the fretboard. People were recording, as if this were a romantic comedy in which the guy on stage would drop on his knees to receive a kiss from the love interest.

But it didn’t seem to far from that. And it scared Dee.

Vitya staring deeply into (f/n)’s eyes, and them shyly reciprocating with a twinkle.

This wasn’t happening.  The absolute hysteria building up in his body was too much to bear. It couldn’t end here. Dee needed to have his chance. He need to tell them how they felt. The tension is his neck was alarmingly visible, and he had to do something. 

Vitya leaning further from the stage, beginning to sit on his knees to face the crowd better. Sitting on his knees to face (f/n) better. To have his face closer to theirs. To make their move. To take them away from him. To ruin him.

“Dee?!”

Before he knew what he was doing, he latched onto their frame, swooping them out of the scene.

“What the fuck, man?!” Dee didn’t say anything back, as much as he wanted to. As much as he wanted to swipe the lovesick look clean off of the bassist’s face with a guitar. Dee ignored all complaints and demands to be put down and took them into a closet, locking the door behind them. He took a breather, body pressed firmly against the door, as if someone was to barge in at any second. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Shut up.”

“I- excuse me?!”

“Shut up.”

He doesn’t know why. It seemed right in the heat of the moment and he pulled her away. And now they were both inside a pitch dark closet, sharing a small space that could barely fit the both of them. His breathing calmed down, and his head thudded on the wall behind him once he threw it back. No one had seen them go in here. He made sure.  “Dee…” He couldn’t see anything, just black. Pure black. “Why did you pull me in here?” His cool demeanor shattered into small little bits, as he stumbled over words and syllables.

“I-I just… Uhm. I don’t…” He was cut off by a sigh and he shut up this time.

Dark as all hell, with no ability to see anything. He felt two hands press down on his shoulders. “Oh, there you are.” He stifled a gasp when he felt their hands on him, cheeks burning hotter with each second that passed. “These are your shoulders, right?”

“Yeah.. yeah, that’s it.” He replied, voice shaky as he tensed up even more. The tips of his ear were turning pink, and for once he was glad it was dark in the room. He couldn’t imagine having to explain to (f/n) why he was sweating, face looking like a fire truck. They patted along his shoulders, gripping onto his arms and finding their way all over him. Cupping his cheeks, they tugged and pinched slightly.

“Im guessing this is your face..?”

“It is.”

They chuckled and moved to remove their hands. But his ones piled over theirs to maintain them where they were. “N-no.” He whispered. “Keep them here.” (F/n) hummed and did as he said, taking a step forward. He nuzzled further into their palm, exhaling deeply. They were now so close to each other, Dee could feel the body heat radiating off of (f/n). Although there was no light, they could feel his gaze like a touch. They pulled away.

“We should get out of here, Vitya’s looking for me. I don’t wanna make him worry.”

“Stop talking about Vitya. Vitya isn’t here. I’m here.” He husked, now managing to see (f/n) more clearly in the dark. The (hair-colored) beauty relaxed, eyes half lidded. “It’s just Vitya with you, isn’t it?” The question took both of them by surprise. (F/n) didn’t know how to respond, and Dee couldn’t imagine what he had just said. That was risky. Too risky. He could have apologized and let it go, but at this point he might as well pull through with it. “Vitya dedicating a song to you, Vitya inviting you to a party, Vitya and his bass skills, Vitya, Vitya, Vitya.”

He continued to confront them. “What about me? Why can’t you gush over me? I’ve been trying my absolute hardest for you to notice my approaches and nothing. How am I supposed to feel knowing that my best wasn’t good enough, and that some rando can win you over by doing his bare minimum? Huh?”

(F/n) blinked at the blonde’s outburst, mind clouded with so many thoughts at once they couldn’t focus on a single one. They listened to him ramble on, except their brain wasn’t absorbing any of the info he spat at them. Dee Shvagenbagen, antisocial know-it-all, and the most attractive person they’d ever met. Their body drove closer to him, itching to get closer. They’d been keeping their distance for him to not notice them falling for him. After all, he wasn’t interested in people like that. Or at least, people excluding (f/n). Maybe 8 months since she grew apart. And it was harder each day. Harder to not confess the way they felt.

Another step.  And another.

And another.

They cupped his chin, pupils dilated completely. Whether it was from the lack of light, or from how close they were to him, they didn’t know. Possibly both. Dee’s rant came halting to an end, as (f/n) closed the space between them.

As they felt fireworks go off in their stomach, as they felt all nerves dissipate from their body, as they silently thanked a greater good for this opportunity.

As they pressed their lips onto his, pressing a stray hand flat on his chest. He felt them run their fingers around his hair, pulling of the hair tie to run their fingers through it. Pausing in between for breaths each time, Dee smashed his lips onto theirs, losing all control he might’ve previously had. He pulled away fro a brief second, enticing them with the promise of more. Only for him to push them back in a mere second, pushing the back of their head into the kiss. Long breaths, roaming hands and deep kisses.  “I’ve liked you… Hah, for the longest time. Dee.”

“Me too…”

They clawed at his back when he forced entrance into their mouth, claiming every spot as his. Needless to say, Dee knew his feelings were reciprocated.

[gilverrwrites]

Could you picture Roman being a dog owner? I kept thinking back to his Arkham Origins quote of 'feeding the player's spleen to his dogs!' ... probably vicious fellas. I bet his S/O dotes on them, and even takes a liking to them. Just softer Roman hours. How will he take it too if his S/O has a pet?

I could totally picture him being a dog owner, what I can’t settle on however, is which type of dog. I could totally see him with some kind of Pitbull, Doberman, or a Corso. You know, those breeds that get bad reps for being scary?

Or, if he actually has an evil little lapdog? You know the kind.

Maybe one that’s already known for being a bit unhinged like a chihuahua?

Or maybe something a little more unsuspecting? Like Toy Terriers, or a mini spaniels.

Either way these dogs get mixed treatment. Like, there’s not a lot of fields for them to run around on in the city, and I know damn well Roman isn’t taking them for multiple walks a day – although he probably does have someone for that. (Until his S/O convinces him anyway – Come on Romy, fresh air, stretch your legs, good for your heart.)

They also probably sleep in cages that are hopefully the right size.

However, they’re eating well. Canned dog food or kibble, yes, but also human grade meats and milk bones, proteins, veg, the works. And during the day, they get free range. They’re on the couches, the bed, cause they’re not trained to listen to anyone but Roman.

I bet he has a love-hate relationship with his S/O doting on them, cause on the one hand ‘They’re supposed to be attack dogs!’ and you’re turning them into pampered pooches. But on the other hand, he loves the way you grin when they roll on their backs for belly scratches, or when they follow your commands for treats.  

You’re both pretty cute when you’re begging for his attention with those matching puppy dog eyes.

He’s probably pretty neutral about his S/O having a pet, it really depends on what it is and how it behaves. If its needy, I can maybe see a tinge if jealousy, cause Roman wants and deserves your attention most.

But otherwise there’s no strong emotions. He’s fairly good with them, especially if you’re around. Talks to them, pets them, whatever. Gotta save face in front of the S/O. Probably says mean things to them, but in a playful way.

For example, my mum has a cockapoo who looks like a seasame street character, and there isn’t a thought in her head that isn’t ‘pet me’ ‘play with me’ or ‘sleep’ and I know Roman would think she was a pathetic waste of a dog. But he’d pet her anyway.

Disclaimer: No dog is actually scary, evil, or unhinged by nature, its all dependant on training, environmental influence, etc. This is all just in good fun.

[scham-wcan]

Just going to make an individual post for this so it doesn’t get too too long. Thank you for the tag @powertaco I’ll try and find some things!

List 5 things that make you happy, then tag a couple folks who follow you or you’re mutuals with! Get to know your mutuals & followers!! <3

1. I think the Cinder Simp Discord has to be on this list somewhere at least, so why not let it be first. The community there I am proud to be one of the first and somehow the leading people there. It’s full of creative and amazing fans and artists who really just are a step above. A lot of them too are just so friendly and welcoming, to the point of allowing me to actually calling a great number of them directly friends. If any of y’all there see this, hi! Always great knowing y’all!

2. Weight lifting I think is another thing I am required to say I love. The entire idea of trying to be physically better and dealing with a whole bunch of just constant internal negativity, having something constant to rely on as a way to deal with those emotions—and actually be able to assign values to progress—it is just another huge part of why I get up in the morning.

3. I really enjoy writing, well as much as anyone who writes does. It’s weird cause you flip flop between loving and hating creating, like loathing the things you made but needing to love them for where they allowed you to get to. Impostor syndrome is wild. I actually picked up a couple self help books on the topic of writing recently that pulled me back into loving my own writing, which was a pretty forceful endeavour mind you haha.

4. History, classics, research textbooks, and all of that stuff just gets me enthralled. I don’t know why but history and the study of it has always been a big part of my life as a thing for entertainment. It’s just so intriguing to watch something that happened in like the 1300s spiral and domino until eventually it becomes this huge event in the 18th century, and that further develops until its something we can palpably see and comprehend the ramifications of today; and yes, I know how nerdy that all sounds but I love that shit.

5. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my dogs. Robert and Abigail, or Bob and Abby. They’re little Boston Terriers and they’re little bullies and morons but I love them to death

Now for tagging, with all of these things obviously you don’t have to do it, but if you do feel free to give us 5 things to like/love!

@azzmodeus @daemonofrazgriz @lesbianneopolitan @actualbampot @dawnmaidenofdragons @messis-luna

[ecargmura]

Dog Signal Episode 16 Review - Destructive Behavior

I do like the topic of destructive behavior discussed in this episode because I feel like I needed this as my dogs had a habit of destroying toys and walls in the past. Not all dogs will misbehave by being destructive, but it is a common occurrence if they are stressed out. What could be the cause of stress? There are many different factors and I love that the show discusses them to the client of the day.

Throughout this show, the clients who come to Proud Dog have been either ignorant of their dog’s problems or have been abusive. This episode’s client is Ema Toyama, Ritsuka’s newly hired apprentice and aspiring dog groomer, who is the owner of Ryuta, a Jack Russell Terrier and she’s probably the most respectful client by far, despite her ups and downs of training her dog. You can tell she’s such a sweet and respectful girl by the way Ritsuka and Niwa behave towards her. Ritsuka usually has a fiery personality, but her softer side is usually reserved for her friends and kind dog owners like Shikishima and Oyamada. Seeing Ritsuka behave like a big sister to Ema was such a treat to watch. Niwa was also nice to her too! He would usually be blunt and cold towards his clients as they do things that piss him off, but Ema was actually one of the rare times he was nice to a dog owner and the first time he admits that the human is not to blame in her situation. Not only that, Miyu was acting rather shy around her when he first saw her! He’s usually cheerful and energetic towards other female clients, so this is the first time I’ve seen him be all shy around a girl!

I loved watching Ema do whatever she can to fix Ryuta’s destructive behavior. She tried taking him out for longer walks. She tried taking him to the dog park with her friends. She tried rearranging her dorm room so that Ryuta can be a bit more comfortable and that she doesn’t have to get her textbooks and other important items destroyed by him. She has no money because of his destructive behavior, but she never complains about that or him one bit! I think her patience and love for her dog is astounding for someone so young! The little mistakes she made that caused Ryuta to almost die wasn’t her fault at all. It just happened. Seeing her blame herself for letting him have access to get to the dried squid and then choking on a shoelace wasn’t her fault at all, but it was still so sad to see her blame herself for what had happened. I know it was easily preventable had she been a bit more careful, but dogs are not to be underestimated as they are intelligent creatures. What I like about Dog Signal is that the human characters are very human. Even if they do ignorant or despicable things, it’s because they’re human that they do it. The author really knows how to create such humane characters and Ema is a perfect example.

I’m surprised on how destructive Ryuta was, honestly. I don’t think I’ve seen an instance where a dog gnawed out of a cage! My dogs weren’t this destructive in the past, so it’s crazy to see how destructive canines can be if under stress. When Ryuta started choking, I was legit worried he was going to die. I’m glad that Ema sought help and Dr. Kubo did everything he can from arriving to work earlier than usual due to the emergency patient and performing successful surgery on Ryuta.

I like how Ema is to Ritsuka like how Miyu is to Niwa. Ritsuka telling about the dog she had back then and why she isn’t raising another will definitely be another emotional sob fest and I’m preparing my tissues next week. What I learned from Niwa’s past is that those with sad pasts that revolve around dogs will definitely be tearjerkers. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~more NY hc’s for you other simps~

(Also, pls take a break to get some food and water and to tell yourself how much you matter and how loved you are pls 🥺🩵)

=======================================================================

-this boi has most definitely dragged his brothers outside if it had snowed overnight and there was a bunch of snow on the ground, and his brothers are fine with it at this point. Why? Cuz they’ll get a rare phenomenon known as a Cold Cuddly Yorkie after.

-York has 100% walked into one of his brother’s rooms, stood in the doorway, knocked something over, and just ran away while they’re like- "👁️👄👁️💢"

One time, he did that to Connie and he got chased outside and up a tree, since he can climb while Connie can’t. So Connie got Texas to get up there and get him. York thought that he could jump to the next branch, but got snatched by Tex and handed to Connie, who got his revenge.

-Sometimes, when York is in a bad mood and is mumbling a list of things they dont like about themself under their breath, Mass or one of the other two will notice and chime in with a way longer list of things they like/love about York whilst hugging him and keeping him pinned til they’re done.

-York is a certified hoodie thief, but only with those that he loves. He will go into their room and just snatch a hoodie and RUN- he thinks that his friends and family won’t notice, but they do. And they think it’s friggin’ adorable.

-He f(speaks Midwestern)in’ LOVES animals. He has a rat, a ferret, and a small Yorkshire terrier of his own. But he also loves his brother’s animals too, especially Mass’s cat, Mayflower. He was a bit skeptical of Jersey’s dogs Mar and Murrie (one’s a Doberman and the other is a Boxer) at first, due to them being big powerful dogs, but he eventually learned to love them as well.

-due to the cultural diversity in his state, I like to believe that York speaks several languages and has very little to no struggle in switching from language to language, tho he speaks Dutch and Italian the best.

-his brothers will bug him while he is laying on the ground or something by wiggling their finger above his face just to see him paw at them like a cat

-him and Loui both love doing makeup and pulling off insane makeup looks, so whenever Mass isn’t available to be a test subject, Loui is his next option.

-this man’s flexibility is otherworldly- it’s terrifying honestly- he can bend in ways that no human should be able to 😭 and he’s double jointed.

-he is 100% the mean friend and you cannot tell me otherwise

-hell will freeze over before this mf decides to sleep willingly

[puppyexpressions]

5 Toy Breeds That Worry Vets the Most

Guest Post by Dr. Marty Becker

Let me say this up front: I love all dogs. Every single one I see in my practice brings a smile of joy to my face. But I often have concerns about certain small dog breeds, either because they may be prone to specific health problems or because they have reached such heights of popularity that mass production by puppy mills or careless breeders has put them at risk of overpopulating shelters instead of homes.

Because of this, there are some dogs I would like to see less of in my practice. Not because I think they’re bad — there’s no such thing as a “bad” dog in my book. Instead, I would like to see fewer of these types of dogs, and I would like them all to have better health and ample opportunities for loving, lifelong homes.

Lovable but Trouble

Teacup Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: You might be surprised to hear me say this — Cavaliers are wonderful little dogs with sweet temperaments. They easily capture the hearts of their owners, but it’s their own hearts that I worry about. Because of their limited gene pool, Cavaliers are prone to early onset of a common heart problem in dogs: mitral valve disease. Because of this, their life spans can be as short as six to 10 years. These dogs should live up to 14 years or more. Some of them do, but not enough. Veterinary researchers and breeders are seeking an answer to this health concern, but until they find one, I’d like to see this breed’s skyrocketing popularity come back down to Earth.

Teacup Chihuahua: The great thing about Chihuahuas is their long life spans. It’s not unusual for these tiny dogs with the ginormous personalities to live 15-plus years with regular wellness care. Some of them even live into their 20s. For a dedicated owner, that’s a huge bonus. But it worries me that so many of these entertaining but bossy little dogs end up in shelters. There are so many in states such as California and Arizona that they are often airlifted or trucked to other states, where they are less common and in higher demand. Until that problem is solved, I’d like to see fewer of them walk through the doors of my practice.

Teacup Yorkshire Terrier: The terrors, er, Terriers of the Toy Group, Yorkies are mischief makers who are full of themselves — and that’s saying a lot, given their minuscule size. I love their independent nature and their sense that they are as big as Great Danes, but they can have health and behavioral problems that get them into trouble. Among their health concerns are portosystemic shunts, luxating patellas and collapsing tracheae. They’re also easily injured because of their tiny size. Behavior wise, it’s all too easy to ignore house-training or training in general. That can turn what should be a smart, highly trainable, well-behaved dog into a little tyrant. These are all among the reasons that it’s not unusual to find Yorkies and Yorkie mixes available in shelters or through rescue groups. As a veterinarian and dog lover, I’d love to see fewer Yorkies, all with better health and good homes with people who will give them the combination of love and training they need to thrive.

Teacup Puggle: This popular hybrid, or designer, dog (a combination of a Pug and Beagle) has a lot going for him. For starters, he’s cute and sweet. But as a blend of two very different breeds, he can have some issues that may become prominent and problematic after the cute factor wears off. Take his shedding — please! Both Pugs and Beagles shed heavily. When you combine the two breeds into a single dog, you’re going to wind up with a shedder — and often, people don’t realize this before they get one. Another factor is size. It’s not unusual for Puggles to grow bigger than buyers expect. And they can have the breathing problems associated with Pugs, as well as the high energy level associated with Beagles. Those are all problems that can land them in shelters or with rescue groups, seeking a family who recognizes and understands their quirks.

Teacup anything: It’s easy to understand the appeal of teeny-tiny dogs. We humans are attracted to extremes, and the idea of a dog who fits into the palm of a hand is almost irresistible. But it must be resisted. Micro dogs weighing three pounds or less at adulthood are more prone to serious health problems and generally live shorter lives. It’s hard on them, and it’s hard on their families to lose them at an early age. There are plenty of small dogs who are healthy; let’s not encourage the breeding of tiny, unhealthy dogs simply so we can have bragging rights about whose dog is the smallest.

[atinylife]

my 14 year old dog disappeared last july 17. he’s a small dog, a shih tzu-terrier mix with black and brown fur. being an old dog, he could barely see and hear. he did have a big appetite, liked baths, put up with my other two dogs and he’d walk a little faster only when he was happy or excited to eat. he would flinch whenever i touched him (because he could no longer hear me approaching) but would relax when he’d register my scent and realize it’s me, a friend of mine that he knows, or a relative who comes to see him a lot.

i realized he was missing in the evening... i remember seeing him in the morning on the terrace, sleeping. i work from home so i was in my room for most of the day, and took a nap after work. i realized i couldn’t find him anywhere during dinner. i looked everywhere, even places he couldn’t reach or fit in, asked the neighbors if they had seen a dog (though it’s so unlikely that he could have left the the house), but none of these went anywhere. i still feel so awful thinking about it... it rained hard later that night because of a typhoon in a nearby region and picturing my dog somewhere without food, water, and a warm nook to sleep in kept me from sleeping...

the thought of him going missing or escaping never occurred to me as i have a big metal gate where i live and it’s always locked. it’s rusty too, so whenever it’s opened it makes this loud noise you can hear even if you’re at the farthest part in the house. the thought of someone taking him is absurd simply because he’s so old. he did like wandering around, but because he could barely see, he couldn’t find his way to the gate anymore. and even if someone did want to take him away it was impossible because the gate was high enough that they wouldn’t have been able to pick him up, and he makes noises when he could tell a stranger was close, which would have alerted my two other dogs.

i’m so heartbroken. i got him when i was 14 and now i’m 28. he was the nicest bestest dog. he could tell whenever i was sad, even when i didn’t say anything, just by looking at my face and seeing me cry. he’d sit or sleep next to me, or reach out with his paw to touch my hand or my leg. whenever i got into an argument with my mom and got screamed at, he’d get in between us and sit in front of me seemingly to protect me. that i feel heartbroken is an understatement... obviously i’ve grown up and i’m a completely different person than i was when i got him, but with him gone i feel like i’ve lost a long time friend and my ties to my childhood, however ugly that was. he was such an emotionally intelligent dog. i’m still so sad and confused. i don’t understand how he could have gone missing. there’s just no way he left the house, and i left no stone unturned basically looking for him. it’s really as though he vanished into thin air. it’s been 8 days now since he went missing and i know that the truth is that i’ll never see my dog again. i know i had to say goodbye to him eventually because of his age, but i didn’t know it’d be this way, and so sudden. it’s crazy, but i hope he did vanish into thin air so he didn’t have to go through any pain.

i saw a video earlier today about an old dog in china that ran away from home and it made me remember my dog. apparently, many of them can tell when they’re fading away and seek alone time when this happens. breaks my heart. i don’t think i’ll ever forget him. i might never find closure because i’ll never know what happened to him that night. right now, sometimes, it feels like i never even had him. it’s such a strange, sad way to say goodbye to a dog i love so much. thank you for the wonderful 14 years and i’ll miss you forever... 

[goodgirlsam-and-fam]

Frustration -> Reaction

Old entry: April 17th 2022

Today Sam had her first big reaction in a while.

To be honest, she’s been a bit weird and not herself all week. She’s uncomfortable and frustrated. She’s at the end of her cytopoint cycle and her anal glands are acting up. There’s excess yeast on paws and in ears, making her itchy and uncomfortable. Just like I get really tired and frustrated during spring and peak allergy season, so does she. We both have very little patience, and need an extra dose of love and compassion.

She’s been crying all week. Demand barking like crazy. Like, CRAZY. It’s driving ME crazy. So we’re both a bit crazy right now. With her frustration follows a couple unwanted behaviours. She forgets herself, doesn’t know how to act. Her fuse is shorter. Triggers that we usually have no problem managing on walks (squirrels, birds, other dogs, cyclists etc) becomes harder to ignore. She lunges and whines. Not often, but more than normal. Or at least according to our “new normal” where this happens very rarely.

In hindsight today’s big reaction could’ve been totally avoided. I don’t know why we decided to take her on a walk along the river where we knew there would probably be off leash dogs. Honestly, we just forgot. We just didn’t think about it. We were caught up in the nice weather and her behaving so well while we were outside cleaning the car. “Let’s go for a nice walk!” we thought, and just left. Uh oh.

As soon as she got out of the car she was way too excited. We didn’t bring good treats and we didn’t set her up for success by getting rid of some energy before we asked her to engage. Straight away she saw horses, something she’s definitely not neutral around. We tried to control her excitement and redirect, but from the get go she wouldn’t listen. She was just too overwhelmed. We should have turned around there and then. But we’re only humans, and I can’t stress how beautiful this area is. So we kept going.

Frustration built up in both me and Sam. She wanted to RUN and EXPLORE. She was not interested in engaging with us and leisurely investigating her surroundings. She wanted to get right up in there. “Horses, DOGS! OMG, DOGS! Dogs on leash, dogs off leash. Surely EVERYONE we see is a friend and we can run around to greet them and play aggressively till I don’t know, probably midnight?” - Sam probably.

When we spotted the first off leash dogs coming towards us, we put her up on a bench so we could create some distance and have her focus on something else (our boring treats). The old couple with the two old dogs of course told us “don’t worry, they’re friendly”. As per usual, we replied “yeah, so is she. She’s just too excited and we don’t want her to greet them”. As per usual (part 2) they ignored this and didn’t recall their dogs. Instead they wanted to talk to us about Sam. They meant well, they probably saw how stressed we were and wanted to let us know that her excitement was okay. For some STUPID reason, we let her say hi. They stayed there for so long talking to us, that I thought maybe she had calmed herself down. So foolish and stupid of me.

She did “ok” at first, just very, very excited. And frustrated to be on leash, of course. The two terriers looked at her like “ugh, what’s up with all this ENERGY girl” and wanted very little to do with her. Sam, of course, starts pawing at them because it doesn’t matter the size of the dog: she wants to wrestle. Behind us arrives another old couple with another small terrier. Also off leash, of course. At this point Sam is going absolutely bananas. Lunging so hard she’s flying in the air at the end of the leash. It’s devastating to see. We try to walk away quickly, but of course the terrier who just arrived decides to follow her. It just escalates and I honestly don’t remember the sequence of events. I remember the looks we got. Sam crying and lunging and me trying to keep her controlled. I can only imagine how it must’ve looked like with me just trying to hold on to our 60 pound dog who’s basically flying in the air. We quickly abandoned ship and ran away from the beautiful walk.

We took a detour back to the car to get SOME walkies in. We managed to not meet any other dogs, except for a pitbull on the other side of the street with its old owners who also tried to manage the passing. I absolutely love other owners with reactive dogs (or who just know how to respect other dogs and owners in general). Seeing the old couple taking care of their pitbull absolutely melted my heart.

Sam was still very excited and overwhelmed. She found it hard to listen. She did okay with the horses we saw for the rest of the walk. She’s getting more and more used to them, so that’s always a plus. She only growled at one of them who was grazing close to the car park, which probably looked very strange to her.

Having cried earlier that morning because of how exhausting yesterday was for us, I was pretty defeated after the walk. My hands hurt from holding onto the leash during the lunging. We put her in the car crate and drove off. The reaction was bad, and it was a huge reminder to us how her physical health is affecting her mental abilities to stay focused. She’s so much closer to threshold when she’s also suffering. I get it, I’m completely the same.

I work a lot in percentages. So if the reaction only really was 5% of our day, that means that the remaining 95% of the day was pretty good! Here are some positives to remember:

2 people on horses were smiling at Sam and us after seeing how neutral and sweet she was around them (little did they know of her earlier reactions. This was near the end of the walk and she had calmed down and managed to focus)

We managed to avoid almost ALL intense demand barking sessions

She did well tied up outside next to us as we were cleaning the car, even with people and kids passing

She waited patiently in the car as we were vacuuming it out at the gas station

She did AMAZINGLY during her first car wash! No crying, no panic. This is a girl who’s had extreme car anxiety in the past. Hurray Sam!

I mean, she’s obviously a good girl. Just a very excited and frustrated Good Girl. We’ll rest and collect ourselves. There’s a bright, new day waiting for us tomorrow.

[emilemily]

My mother just FaceTimed me and told me that her old Flickr account that she created in 2004 has to be deleted because they’re moving to a paid platform, and she can’t afford to pay to store all her beautiful photography there month by month.

For some reason, when she told me that I just lost it. Immediately broke down into the ugliest cry of the century. Just nonstop tears with the worst, from the soul sort of sounds. I told her I had to go and hung up and just fell apart for the first time in a long while.

I hyperventilated, I shook, and I let myself feel that raw pain for about 15 minutes before it passed. I haven’t allowed myself to cry that hard in a very long time. I don’t think I’ve really been capable of allowing myself to feel such raw emotion in a long time. Usually I would talk myself down, wipe a couple of tears and say “be strong”

But instead, I let my inner child take over. She misses her family so much, despite how dysfunctional we were. She misses the good times, the laughs, the big beautiful house we had for 4 years before my dad’s cancer came back and he couldn’t work and make the payments anymore. She misses the life we had there before the house was foreclosed.

My inner child is scared and lost, and she feels abandoned. She is out of her element, unprepared, and sad. She longs for those simpler times.

My mother was a photographer. Not the sort who charges for work and conducts photo shoots, but a hobby photographer. She had this expensive camera with all the equipment and she caught on camera so many moments. When I was younger, I’d get annoyed at how often she’d take my picture. How she had to stop and take photos of this, that, everything.

She documented my growth from 10 years old until I was about 17. She documented the happiest moments my family experienced, and she even documented the sorrow that my family went through multiple times. My father’s cancer battles, changes in scenery brought about by the need to move due to finances. My sister’s first homecoming and later prom.

That Flickr account contained so many little doorways I could walk through and remember the way my life once was. The ways I looked and acted at different ages, the hobbies I had, my orchestra concerts, my weird little boyfriends, and she even photographed me mid-fight with my sister. In the photograph, I was staring angrily into the camera and she captured such genuine emotion. I hated her for it in that moment, but even looking back at that is something important to me.

At one time in my life I lived in a beautiful house in Kennesaw, Georgia with my mother, father and sister. We had a big black and white dog named Belle, and two west highland white terriers named Trevor and Katie. My father was alive and healthy, we had a big backyard to run around in, and despite the occasional blowout fight and plenty of dysfunction to go around, we smiled more than we cried.

This Flickr account allowed me the opportunity to go back in time and look at what my life once was before my father succumbed to his leukemia. Before my sister and my mother permanently stopped talking with no hope of ever rekindling. Before the stress of getting a job and working to support myself became my main objective. Before I was defined by my network and what skills I offer the world. Before I saw and experienced watching my family slowly tear itself apart.

As time has passed I have lost nearly every tangible thing that reminds me of what I miss the most. My mother got into a car accident late last year and her little white Honda my dad bought her in 2007 was totaled. All the road-trips taken in that car, the laughs, the way that it still, after all that time, smelled like my father’s leather jacket… all gone because someone wasn’t paying attention and hit my mother while texting.

The loss of the ability to visit her and drive around in that car was devastating, but this for some reason is even worse. This was my little oasis that I could visit occasionally whenever I was having a bad night and couldn’t sleep. My little portal through time to a place I felt safe. And now it’s gone because the greed of this world has made it so.

I struggle very hard with my sentimental attachments to things, to periods of my life, to certain people. The truth is that deeply within me is a heart that has been broken to a degree that it may never fully heal. No matter how much time passes or how far I evolve, there is this wound inside my soul that festers even now.

My father will never walk me down the isle, he will never know my children, he will never see me be successful after worrying for so long that I would struggle forever. I will never see or hear my parents laughing together again. I’ll never again be that 12 year old girl with headphones in playing “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 on repeat for the 12th time, staring out the window imagining myself holding hands with that boy from math class, all while my father drives us to the Apple orchard for our yearly visit in the fall.

So many vivid memories of my childhood, and not all of them are great, but I yearn for them so fiercely deep within. I want a family of my own, I want to once again feel like I belong, like I’m amongst people who love me and who are fiercely loyal to me. I want to feel protected and safe, like I was back then. So effortlessly calm because I knew I was in good hands.

I have this small little box of treasures that I believe I wrote about recently. A little collection of mementos from my childhood. This truly is the last thing I have that links me to my childhood, aside from my own memories, of course.

I’ve struggled with religion my entire life because there is no tangible proof that I can hold in my hands. Maybe this is similar. Without something to see, feel, or hear, how will I ever remember everything forever? I don’t want to forget these memories.

I often think about how my life has ended up and I can’t help but be underwhelmed. How could it have all gone this way? How has this much tragedy struck my family, and why did it have to be me? Us?

Random selection, I suppose. No matter how hard I cling to the past, I will never get it back. This I know. But I swear, sometimes those memories keep me sane. It’s almost like the reassurance that if my life was ever that good before, then I just need to hang in there because it’ll come back around.

I long for a family of my own, to be a mother. To make my own traditions and see my children’s faces light up. To care for them, support them, make them happy, work hard to be able to afford that which would bring them joy. I suppose that, subconsciously, is why I work so hard to develop my career.

If ever I am stricken with cancer or some other illness, I want to work hard enough that my family will recover, that they won’t lose everything. I want my children to have a good life, and I want to provide that for them. One day I will.

That’s it for today.

[jellybeanforest-a-go-go]

One of the things that perplexes me about the anti-AO3 crowd is that they have the gall to come to AO3 and demand moderation when AO3 was clearly and explicitly established in response to censorship and fandom purges of more popular (at the time) fandom spaces. AO3 was created not because the original crew were huge fans of problematic (but legal) content but because they recognized that content’s right to exist regardless of any one person’s particular taste. AO3 is popular precisely because they don’t moderate. I left fandom in like 2012-ish around the time of one of the big FFN purges. At the time, FFN was the big site and AO3 was a little nothing site with a fraction of what FFN had. I returned in 2017 when AO3 suddenly seemed the place to be for writers and readers of newer fandoms. There’s a reason for that.

It’s like... okay, let’s say there’s a dog park. The dog park is sprawling and super popular among owners of all dog breeds and sizes. There are separate spaces for terriers and large dogs with signs posted so you know what types of dogs are allowed where. All of the sudden, some small dog owners, the ones with teacup poodles and yorkies or whatnot, decide that the pit bulls all the way on the other side of the park are a PROBLEM because pits are dangerous. Doesn’t matter if they only play in the one area that is specifically designated for them, and there are warning signs indicating their presence. They’re a breed that shouldn’t exist because what if a child tried to pet one? 

Think of the children! 

No matter that children aren’t allowed in the pitbull section; they might break in unaccompanied by an adult to pet some pitbulls. All pitbull owners are dangerous, irresponsible assholes who want nothing more than to train their pits to eat small dogs and attack kids. In fact, if you have ever owned a pit, not only are you a bad person, you are a literal murderer who trains your dog to attack children on sight. 

Think of the children!

The anti-pitbull crowd is persistent, and pits are not very popular in general, and a lot of people don’t like them, so the dog park decides to ban pitbulls. But the purge also sweeps away German Shepherds (a popular but potentially dangerous breed also known as explicit slash) and Boxers and other large dogs. Maybe some of these dogs were dogs the anti-pitbull crowd even liked, but hey, all is done in the name of safety, right? Because:

Think of the children!

It’s not that you can’t find pitbulls in the dog park anymore. They’re still there, except now they aren’t tagged and easily identified as pitbulls and aren’t confined to one area. They’re much easier to stumble across by accident. But hey, maybe 1 or 2 of them will be reported and kicked out for a spell until the owner sneaks them in again. It’s not like anyone is really checking every single dog at the door for pit ancestry. It’s too unwieldy; there are millions of dogs and not enough staff to do so, and they can’t quite agree on what a pitbull is anyway.

Anyways, a few of the dog owners think this is bullshit. Maybe some own pits but mostly they own like Golden Retrievers and Black Labs (that are technically still allowed in the park, for now, but hey, you never know what will happen). They decide they’re going to build their own dog park where all dogs are welcome as long as they stay in their designated sections. It’s a small operation at first, but it’s free and staffed with enthusiastic volunteers, and as more dogs are booted out of the first dog park, some entire segments of dog owners (including many that don’t own pits) gravitate to the new dog park. It’s friendlier there. They accept everyone, and won’t randomly kick out the odd bulldog for looking pit-like. All their friends are starting to go to the new dog park. 

New dog park grows, gains a lot of traction over the old dog park, and becomes the place to be.

Only now, the anti-pitbull crowd is also there. They use it frequently and like its amenities, but there’s only one problem. They allow pitbulls here. Nevermind that they’re tagged and in their designated area. What if a child tried to pet one?

Think of the children!

So they start reporting pitbulls. The pitbulls are a danger to society; they should be taken out back and shot. Why TF would anyone allow pitbulls into their dog parks??? The staff looks at them, shrugs, and points out their policy, which has been there since the beginning, which is the reason for their popularity and what everyone agreed to when they entered the dog park, that says All Dogs Allowed. 

‘But that’s not right,’ the anti-pitbull crowd screeches. 

Think of the children!

Other dog owners point out that old dog park still exists; they don’t have to frequent this one.

‘But this dog park is more popular! More people will play and interact with my dog here!’ they say, stomping their feet. ‘You should accommodate me and my preferences.’

‘No.’

They throw themselves to the floor, thrashing their arms about, in full tantrum mode. ‘Then I rather this dog park not exist. It is a danger to children everywhere!.’

Think of the children!

Think of the Goddamn children!

And that’s basically the story of AO3. AO3′s lack of content moderation is not a flaw but a feature. And if you don’t like it, FFN still exists. Have fun trying to avoid untagged pitbulls there.

[madillhethen]

Top 5 dog breeds? And top 5 fate characters? Bonus points for saying why 👀

Hmmm, I think when I was a kid I had an actual list but now I don’t think I do so this might be a bit random.

0. Selene and Lucina have to have their own category because they’re my dogs and everyone needs to know how much I love them :P

1. Dalmatians!

2. Corgis

3. Scottish Terriers

4. Golden Retriever

5. Pit bulls

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really had to think for this one, I’m excluding servants for the most part unless they reach above human characters. There are just too many to go through so I’m just going to name the characters I love on the top of my head. Fate’s a big universe anyways.

1. EMIYA: this by all means is no surprise (tumblr even called my blog a heroic spirit Emiya blog because of how much I tag) anyways, what can I not say about this man? He’s such a great character. I could write an essay on him but anyways, shortening it up, I love Emiya for the fact that he’s so thoughtfully altruistic, I know that part of this stems from his crippling and unhealthy self-worth but he took his weakness and made it a strength. He became a nameless entity that fought for others, a hero, and a lot of people have told me it’s stupid but when you get down to it, think about the people going through those wars, imagine just needing someone, anyone to save you, to show some kindness or another and it’s just…this man who has nothing to do with your war, your fight, but he’s literally there not for recognition or reward, but just because he wants to see people smile. He went through hell, and saw a hero, and all he wanted was to replicate that because he understood those feelings. So empathetic, a heart to big for the world, yet not a doormat, Emiya is graceful, cool, a figure of guidance, beautiful and a dork (he’s handsome as hell as a bonus 👀).

The fact that his own self-worth is so detrimental to him, is also what I love, as odd as that sounds. He never hated humanity, he didn’t curse the people who killed him, he never blamed his father, Saber or anyone, he doesn’t even think about destroying the worlds (I know that’s impossible but I’m just throwing that out there) instead he still is thinking of others, the only reason he hates himself so much is because he thinks he’s a murderer. He’s fair, and yeah, childish, but he’s not a sore loser, you have to give him a shot before you get to insult him, he can be a dick but it’s not in arrogance or harm, he’s pointing out your flaws because he knows you can fix them. You have that power, and if no one else is going to say it, he will because he wants you to be better.

Bonus because he can cook and clean.

2. Illyasviel von Einzbern: sweet and innocent? Check. Cute? Check. Little devil murder child? Check (x10 for all those bad ends lol). Illya is probably one of my favorite characters, partly because of nostalgia reasons. Back when I was a kid (younger), I thought FSN was off limits and winded up reading Prisma (jokes on me, that was not a kid version of Fate), but anyways I read OG Illya’s profile along with the manga of Prisma. I didn’t really find Prisma Illya...compelling at all but I always loved her design. Sweet, child-like innocence but a wise and perceptive disposition, Illya just wants a family--girl has never known anything ordinary. On top of the fact, her motivations for the entire Grail War doesn’t stem from the old Einzbern or three families’ original wish. She don’t care about any of that. She steered away from that long ago. 

This is personal, but at the same time, she wasn’t blinded by her own hatred and revenge (let’s not include the bad ends, okay) to not give Shirou a chance. And we see in Heaven’s Feel, she knew her brother, she knew how he was and she chose to sacrifice herself so that he could live. She came to kill him but winded up being the reason he lives. I just really love her.

3. Rin Tohsaka: I’m going to be honest, I don’t know how people can not like Rin. She’s literally perfect. Sporty, academics, pretty, elegant, really put together for the most part and a great magus but more than that, she’s just an ordinary girl trying to balance the world, her world, without any guidance. She’s literally living between two worlds: her long heritage of magi blood, and the parts of her that just is a normal girl who wants a family, wants to not be alone. She has a heart of gold, and although not as altruistic as Emiya/Shirou, she still has the idea that its the strong’s duty to protect the weak and yet at the same time, she never forsakes her individualism. 

Archer told Rin that people who don’t regret shine bright, and I agree. Rin has the attitude that she will choose a path, but never will she look back and regret that decision because each and every one of those decisions had reasons, yet what I love of her is that she doesn’t have a careless attitude, she struggles to come up with the decisions and that’s so very human. It’s not like Cu who takes things as it is, and is proud of whatever life he has, it’s similar but not the same, Rin’s feels...just so much more relatable, and I love her for that. 

4. Shirou Emiya: poor boy needs a hug. It’s a little similar to my reasons for Archer, but I don’t see these two as the same. I treat them somewhat similar but not the same (because they’re not. They’re both Shirou Emiya, but they’re not the same but they are. It’s not confusing at all. Don’t worry about it.) Except unlike Archer, Shirou has a bit of a gullible side that’s adorable and hilarious, but the boy is so good natured that...sadly he is a bit of a doormat. He’s determined, brave, suicidal, considerate and strong-willed, it’s hard for me to imagine anyone reading FSN and not finding themselves loving Shirou. His twisted sense of self and idealistic dream is both admirable and yet so sad. 

I love him especially in UBW because he sees the end result, he’s told the problems of his origins and yet he decides that he doesn’t care if the dream is fake. If the path will lead to hell because helping people can’t be wrong. And he’s right, it’s not wrong to help others. Persevering in a path for others’ pain is tolling, yet someone who can do it is absolutely aspiring.

5. Romani Archaman: he is incredibly relatable on so many levels (I actually find EMIYA more relatable to myself personally). He panics, he doesn’t know what he’s doing but he tries. He tries his best. A man who only wished to be human because he couldn’t be one spent the time of his human life dedicating it in the service of others, became a doctor to help others, all while trying to prevent the world’s end. That’s so admirable. He’s funny and kind, and goes out of his way for his people. I love Romani also for treating people fairly and equally, whenever the conversation was with Mash or a servant, it never felt like he was isolating them, he wasn’t saying ‘your a servant etc etc. (as we see with a different director ahem) it felt somehow like he was just talking to other people. And even in his confrontation with Goetia, he didn’t blame Goetia, didn’t curse him, he understood the difference in them and I don’t know, he was an ordinary man, just a doctor, but he was a hero (and I freaking miss him...)

[thepoodlepack]

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

[jombocostello]

You’ll Never Be Alone Again (Polnareff x Reader)

Anonymous asked: would it b possible to request some angsty polnareff stuff 😳😳😳✌🏼❤️

I would like to formally thank you for sending me this request. I’ve had this idea for a couple months now and you finally inspired me to write it out! I really hope you enjoy it, it was certainly very fun to write. Thanks again!!

(I’m also gonna add a link to a Polnareff fanfiction I did back in April that fits this request too if you want to check it out!)

It's been a pretty busy day today. Ridiculously so, in fact. You and your fellow crusaders arrived in Cairo, Iggy went off on his own and defeated a stand user, and Kakyoin made his long-anticipated return from the hospital. And maybe most importantly - you now know where Dio is.

The seven of you stand outside of Dio's mansion, staring warily at the tall front gate. You can feel your heartbeat speed up in your chest as you realize what this means: you're truly going to have to fight Dio. Maybe even today. You've been building him up in your mind as this ultimate evil, who's virtually unkillable...and now you're going to have to kill him. You take a quick breath and fold your arms over your chest.

The others seem to share your feelings. Everyone looks either anxious, frightened, or some mixture of the two. No one wants to speak, so you all just turn your gazes to Joseph, who's at the front of the group.

He turns around when he realizes there are eyes on him, and he takes a deep breath. "...We shouldn't attack today," he finally says, and you feel your whole body relax. "We'll get a hotel tonight and move tomorrow, in the early morning. So that Iggy and Kakyoin can rest." You glance down at Iggy, whose leg is wrapped in bandages. He'd taken a horrible beating from whatever stand user had been guarding Dio's lair. Kakyoin seems alright, though you haven't seen him without those sunglasses yet. You wonder if his eyes are looking okay.

"Thank you, Mr. Joestar," Avdol says, breaking you from your thoughts. "I think a night in a warm bed will do all of us some good." Jotaro nods from beside him, somehow looking even more somber than he usually does.

"Of course. I agree." Joseph begins heading in the other direction, and you follow him, walking quickly to keep up with the group's long strides. After all this time, you're still in awe of the sheer height of these guys. Joseph and Avdol are speaking in hushed voices a ways ahead of you, and Jotaro and Kakyoin are doing some catching up as they walk. Kakyoin holds Iggy gently in his arms, and Iggy seems really pissed about it, but he puts up with it for the moment; his leg probably kills. That leaves you at the rear of the formation, all caught up in your thoughts.

"How are you feeling, (Y/N)?"

Oh. Polnareff. You look up when he speaks from just behind you. "Uh... I'm trying to work that out right now." He smiles a little at your reply and falls in step beside you. He doesn't walk as quickly as everyone else; he always tries to match your pace. "I'm just glad that we're gonna do it tomorrow."

He lets out a big sigh, nodding exaggeratedly. "So am I. I can't even begin to tell you how anxious I just was. I felt like my heart was going to explode."

You laugh a little. "Yeah, me too. It really sucked." You tuck your hands into your pockets. "Now we're just putting off that feeling until tomorrow, but... Whatever. One more normal night."

"Not just normal," Polnareff interjects, and you look back at him, raising your eyebrows. "One more great night! We've got to make it a night to remember, don't you think?"

You grin now, and you've almost completely been freed from the anxiety of a few minutes ago. "Yeah. That sounds like a great idea, Polnareff." He nods his head definitively and keeps walking, and as he turns away you do as well.

You're glad that Polnareff wants to spend tonight with you. You had figured that he would; you two have gotten along really, really well on this trip. You share a lot of traits, like your sense of humor, your confidence and sometimes smugness in your fighting abilities, and your semi-often moments of stupidity. Really, you just like goofing off together.

You hope you'll be able to do that tonight, if the two of you can push through the somber cloud hanging over the whole group.

After a bit more walking, you reach a nearby hotel. You step inside and sit down on a chair near the front desk, sighing. Joseph and Avdol head over to speak to the receptionist, and everyone else huddles around your chair.

Kakyoin seems a little tired of holding Iggy, so you outstretch your arms. "Hey, I'll take him." Kakyoin smiles gratefully as he hands you the little dog, who seems to have resigned to being carried like a baby. You set him on your lap and yawn, absentmindedly petting his smooth fur. Before you've even realized what you're doing, he reaches around and nips your hand. "Shit - what was that for?!" you yelp, looking down at Iggy with wide eyes. He just shrugs (as well as a dog can) and gets comfortable again.

"I told you that dog is an asshole," Polnareff says, pointing forcefully at the innocent little Boston terrier. "A very self-aware asshole."

You glower at the smug dog sitting in your lap and nod. "Yeah. Thanks for that, asshole dog." Kakyoin laughs a little at your insult, while the dog just rolls his eyes. You know he seems to terrorize Polnareff the most for some reason, but you have a feeling it's started to come from a place of love, even if Iggy would never admit it. Just as you're about to tease Iggy about his secret friendship, Joseph and Avdol return to the group.

"This place is packed," Joseph announces, jingling the keys in his hand. "We've got three rooms. We can divvy them up however we want." Joseph makes the first move by clapping his hand on Avdol's shoulder. "I'll be staying with Muhammad here!" Avdol smiles, with just the slightest tinge of exasperation in his face at Joseph yelling in his ear, and Joseph dangles the other two room keys in front of you.

"I'm sure I can guess who you're choosing, (Y/N)," he says, a teasing smirk on his face.

You roll your eyes and snatch a key out of his hand, tucking it into your pocket. "Yeah, I'll be staying with the second best stand user here." You look up at Polnareff and grin.

He pretends to be mortally hurt by your words, clutching his heart. "Second best? You wound me." He lets out a full laugh, one that you feel in your own chest, and your smile turns into something softer. "I'm kidding. I know you think just as highly of me as I do of you."

"I could tell, dude," you say to him, laughing under your breath. "But thank you. I'm glad you think that." You lean back in your chair, looking around at everyone else.

While you and Polnareff have been playing out your dumb little rapport, the final room assignment has been established. Jotaro and Kakyoin pick up their small luggage bags and turn towards the elevator. "We're going to head up now, Mr. Joestar," Kakyoin says, smiling politely at the older man. "I want to try and get to sleep early."

"Of course." Joseph nods and starts to wave goodbye, but before he does, he stops himself. "Wait! If you don't mind, Kakyoin, would you take those sunglasses off? I want to see how your eyes are."

Kakyoin's expression drops a bit, but as Joseph starts to tell him he doesn't have to, he nods. "Sure. I haven't checked a mirror in a bit, so I honestly don't know how they look." He takes a quick breath and removes his dark sunglasses.

They honestly look alright. His eyes themselves, other than being a little red, look fine, and the only noticeable changes to his face are the light pink scars that run above and below each eye. You smile at Kakyoin, who looks nervous. "Well, it looks alright to me. How are they feeling?"

He's thankful for your words, you can tell. "They've been getting better. Looking at light was pretty hard yesterday, but today it's improved a lot." He reaches out and places his hand on Joseph's arm, who looks up at him with raised eyebrows. "It's because of you that I've recovered this well. Thank you."

Joseph smiles softly, nodding. "Of course. Now you get some sleep." Kakyoin slowly brings his hand back to his side and heads for the elevator.

Jotaro turns to follow him, but before he does, he lowers his head a bit. "I'll see you guys tomorrow," he says gruffly. He won't look any of you in the eyes.

"You as well, Jotaro. I hope you sleep well." Avdol's voice is much smoother and soothing than Jotaro's, and Jotaro seems to appreciate his tone. After you all bid him good night, he follows Kakyoin to their room.

Now it's the four adults and the asshole dog left in the lobby. "They're not gonna be able to get any sleep right now," Polnareff says, frowning. "They both look stressed out of their minds."

Joseph sighs. "At least they'll have each other." He forces the frown from his face and paints a grin onto his features. "So, what are your plans for the evening? Avdol and I are going to get things sorted in our room and then head down to the bar."

You smile when you hear that; you'd been hoping for one last drink with these three. On a couple previous hotel visits, you, Joseph, Avdol, and Polnareff had shared drinks at the hotel bar, usually until the early hours of the morning. They each get a little...different after a few drinks, in their own ways, and you're sure you do too. Either way, it's always fun. "Well I'd love to join you guys. Polnareff?"

When you look over at him, you're surprised to find his eyes already firmly set on you. He's not wearing an expression you were expecting; his eyes have a far-away quality that you don't recall seeing in him very often. He shakes himself a bit and smiles, nodding vigorously. "Of course! Yes, that would be great." He picks up his bag and slings it over his shoulder. "Should we get going, (Y/N)?"

"Yeah." You stand, lifting Iggy with you. "Who are you staying with, you rude little dog?" you ask, squinting at him. He turns his head to Avdol and lets out a little yip, which doesn't really surprise you; he's probably the only guy in this assembly of people that doesn't annoy Iggy on a daily basis. "Okay." You hand the dog over to Avdol, who takes him carefully. As you pick up your own bags, you turn to Joseph. "See you soon, alright? You too, Avdol." They both wave to you as you and Polnareff walk to the elevator to head up to your floor.

You're the only two in the elevator, somehow. You punch in the number and lean against the wall, letting go of a deep sigh. "Thanks for rooming with me." You look up at Polnareff, who looks like he's feeling alright, considering the circumstances. "(Y/N), it's really been great getting to know you on this journey. You're my best friend here - well, you're really my best friend anywhere."

Oh, wow - you blink, completely surprised by Polnareff's transparency right now. Usually you two just joke around together, and that seems to get your feelings across - but Polnareff's being completely genuine right now, and for some reason it's really doing something to your heartbeat. Polnareff takes a couple steps closer to you, and your breath catches. "I want you to know that I - "

The elevator dings loudly and you both jump, turning to the door. A few young women walk inside, laughing loudly with each other. You back into the wall a bit to make room for them, clutching the strap of your bag. One of the girls looks from you to Polnareff and then smiles widely. She starts murmuring something to Polnareff that's just soft enough to be indecipherable to you - and Polnareff's eyes widen. He looks at her and shakes his head, and when the girl's face falls, the elevator dings again and opens to your floor.

You slide past the girls and step out of the elevator, Polnareff following close behind. As you walk down the hall, you turn to look at Polnareff. "What was that about?" you ask.

Polnareff shrugs, looking sheepish. "She just wanted to know what I was doing tonight. Obviously I told her I was busy." You feel your face grow a little warm when you hear that. It's the last night before Polnareff is going off to risk his life, possibly his last night even being alive - and he turned down spending it with a beautiful girl to stay with you. You know he isn't the type to leave you like that, but the idea still makes you feel good.

You nearly run into Polnareff when he stops suddenly. "Here's our room," he says, glancing down at you and grinning. "I hope it's a nice one."

You pull the key out of your pocket and unlock the door. You both walk inside, taking a quick look around. There are two queen beds in the center of the room, and a TV sits on a little dresser against the far wall. The bathroom is just around the corner from the door. "Certainly good enough for me," you say, tossing your bag onto the bed farther from the door. As Polnareff shuts the door, you flop onto your bed and sigh. "Fuck, I'm tired."

Polnareff laughs as he sits on the other bed. "You can say that again. I've been exhausted for a week." He chuckles again, his voice slowly fading away as he leans back. "It's cozy in here."

"...Yeah, it is." The wallpaper is a warm orange color, and the sheets on your bed are pretty soft. There's a large window next to your bed that opens up and leads to a little balcony. You'll certainly spend some time out there tonight. You sit up a bit, looking over at Polnareff. "Do you think Joseph and Avdol are down there yet?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, probably. Wanna go meet them?" You nod and hop up, quickly adjusting your shirt and brushing a hand through your hair. Polnareff stands up as well and pops his head into the bathroom, eyeing his reflection. "Does my hair look alright? I didn't know if the wind had messed it up."

You smile and take a couple strides over to Polnareff, then pop up on your toes and tuck a few loose strands of hair behind his ear. "You're all good now," you say, laughing as you pat him on the cheek. He lets out a bark of laughter as you pull your hand back.

"What the hell was that?" he asks incredulously, walking to the door.

"Oh, you're just too cute, Polnareff," you answer, batting your eyelashes in the most over-the-top way you can manage. This just sends you both into a fit of giggles as you leave the room and make your way back to the elevator.

The ride down is a lot less tense than the ride up had been. You hum along to the elevator music, idly bobbing your head as you listen. Polnareff watches the numbers tick down one by one, until you reach the first floor.

It's pretty easy for you two to find the bar, and it's even easier to find Joseph and Avdol - they're easily the tallest and most muscular people in the area. You take a seat at the counter next to Avdol and pat him on the back, much like Joseph had done earlier. "Hey," you say with an easygoing smile. "What did we miss?"

"Nothing at all." Avdol slides a beer towards you, and you take it. "We just got your drinks." Polnareff takes a seat beside you and Avdol hands him another tall glass. "Do you like the hotel room?"

"Oh, it's very nice," Polnareff says. He pauses to take a swig before continuing. "I like the balcony."

Joseph nods, leaning forward so he can be seen. "It's a great hotel, I'm glad Avdol spotted it." He leans back, and the group falls silent.

You know this is just dumb small talk that's only happening so you can try and ignore the elephant in the room. You can feel yourself getting more and more anxious as Joseph, Polnareff, and Avdol keep going on about whatever they can think of - the hotel, the drinks, even the goddamn weather. You sink down lower in your seat, but before you can completely lose it, you hear the faint radio switch to a new song.

"Oh, dude!" You turn to Polnareff with a bright smile on your face. "I love this song!" He breathes out a little laugh as you start singing along. You grow gradually louder and start swaying to the beat, slinging an arm over Polnareff's shoulder and pulling him into your impromptu performance. He tries to sing along, but he clearly doesn't know the words, so he's sort of mumbling without any direction.

"You don't know the words to this? Jesus, dude, it was huge a few years back! Paul McCartney's been the king of the eighties." You let go of Polnareff and turn to face him.

He shrugs. "I don't really listen to music."

You're dumbfounded by this, and your expression reflects it. "Holy shit, Polnareff. When we're out of here you're getting introduced to the pantheon of rock."

Joseph perks up when he hears this. "I hope you'll start with the Beatles?" he says, squinting at you.

You laugh, nodding. "What kind of person would I be if I didn't?" You drink some beer and gently set down your cup. You listen as the guitars slowly fade away, and then a new song starts that you've never heard before. You think it's in Arabic. "Well..." Now that your fun little distraction has run its course, you're sort of back to square one. At least you'd made everyone smile.

"Say, Polnareff..." You all look to Joseph when he speaks. He takes off his hat and runs his prosthetic hand through his hair. "Can I talk to you for a bit? To get you started on that rock and roll education." You smile a little at that, even though it's obviously not the real reason.

"Sure." Polnareff seems to know what it's about. "I'll be back in a minute, (Y/N)." He gives you a tight-lipped smile before getting up and following Joseph out of the room.

You take Polnareff's glass and slide it over next to yours. "What do you think that's about?" you ask Avdol, who's been relatively silent for a while.

"It seems to me like Joseph's confided in Polnareff about some massive secret that's been eating at him for years. They've had a few little meetings like this before." He huffs out a laugh. "But I've got no clue what that secret is."

"Oh." Maybe Joseph wants to get it all off his chest before tomorrow, in case he - you grit your teeth. You can't get choked up now. You force yourself to drink. "How are you doing?" you ask Avdol, resting your chin in your hand and looking straight ahead. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Why would I mind? I appreciate it." You kick yourself a bit; it would only make sense that Avdol has a much better handle on his emotions than you do. "It's helped me to acknowledge that this is inevitable. It's either we fight him, or he ruins the world. It's just...a duty. It's what we have to do, because we have the powers we have."

You take a shaky breath in, nodding along slightly as he speaks. You can understand that perspective - you just wish you didn't have to. But there's no point in wishing, not this late in the game. "That makes sense," you say softly, your words muffled by your hand. "...I'm having a hard time."

He turns to you, but you can't bring yourself to look at him. "Anyone would," he says lowly. "I get it."

You steel yourself, blinking hard a few times. "Yeah. I know we're all going through the same thing right now."

He places his hand on your back, and you find your lips turning up at the gesture. "Just try to take care of yourself."

You finally look at him, and you muster a better smile. "Thanks. You too." He nods and returns your smile. As you both drink some more, a thought comes to you. "I know it's weird to think about it like this, but it's been really fun spending time with you all."

Avdol's expression brightens. "No, I agree! It's been a pleasure getting to know everyone. I know our group was thrown together under dire circumstances, but I think we've managed to make something good out of it." He's put your thoughts to words perfectly. "And... After all this, after we defeat him - just know that you'll never be alone again. We'll all be together for the rest of our lives, I know it. You'll always have friends in us."

You're suddenly struck by the urge to cry - for once, not out of abject despair. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." You will the feeling away. "I'm actually planning on going back to New York with Joseph after this is over. I've wanted to live there all my life."

"New York?" Avdol quirks an eyebrow. "It's horribly crowded, you know."

"I don't think it's so horrible." You shrug, smiling a bit. "There's so much to do, so many new places to find... If you want, every day of your life can be a completely unique experience there." You pause. "Or so I've heard."

Avdol laughs, a rich sound that makes you laugh a little too. "Well, I hope you enjoy it there. I'll just be getting back to my business." Ah, yeah - you'd forgotten that he works right here in Cairo.

"Do you like it? Your work, that is."

"Yes." His answer comes quicker than you expected. "I think I make people happy, usually. It's not often that I have to deliver bad news. When I do... I really hate it."

"I would too." The mood's shifted into some mix of reminiscence and melancholy. You catch yourself wondering if he'll have to deliver bad news tomorrow - if he'll have to tell your family members where you've been all this time, and why you're not coming back. Jesus. You grimace; you've been fighting this thought ever since you left on this trip, but you feel the need to vocalize it.

"Hey, Avdol." He hums, glancing over at you. You shut your eyes. "I... I have a feeling we're not all getting out of this."

You hear him breathe deeply from beside you, and your frown only deepens. You slowly open your eyes, but you can't turn to face him. "You're the fortune teller. What do you think, am I right?"

You can tell he doesn't want to voice his answer, which is too telling. Finally he does. "...Yeah. I agree." Your heart drops. "I don't know who, but yes - we're not all going home tomorrow."

Your eyebrows furrow and you look down at your hands, clasping them together so tightly they hurt. Avdol is quick to speak again. "But don't let yourself give up, please. (Y/N) - if we try, we might be able to fight this." It's clear that he doesn't believe this, but you're grateful for his efforts.

"No, I won't," you reply, and you hardly feel like you're talking. "We've just got to hold on until we beat him - "

"(Y/N)!" You nearly shout when a hand lands harshly on your shoulder and a booming voice speaks your name. You whip your head around and find Polnareff grinning down at you like an idiot. "What's with the long face? Did we miss something serious?"

"Nah," you answer, watching as Polnareff sits down next to you again, and Joseph follows suit at the other end of the bar. You slide him his drink, which he gratefully accepts. "Just talking about the future."

"Hm. The future." He nods pensively. "Well, Monsieur Joestar and enjoyed a wonderful conversation about the discography of Elvis Costello." You nearly laugh at that. "But now, there's something I want to say." The three of you all look to Polnareff, who's become a bit more serious.

"You all mean so much to me. I was completely lost before I found this group - even before I was under Dio's control. It was as if all I could feel was sadness and rage, or some mix of the two. But you've all made me... Well, you've helped me to feel again." He doesn't seem very nervous, which leads you to think he's been holding on to these thoughts for a long time. "Joseph, your advice will stay with me for the rest of my life - and Avdol." He looks solemnly at the man to your left. "You've taught me so much in such a short amount of time. You'll never understand how grateful I am that you're here right now. You truly  mean the world to me."

Avdol reaches out and takes Polnareff's hand, who squeezes it tightly. "Of course. It's been a delight traveling with you too, Polnareff. You've taught me a lot as well." Polnareff gives him a soft smile and lets go. As he does, he turns to you.

"(Y/N)..." You smile up at Polnareff, wondering what he might say. There's something very heroic in the way he looks right now - high above you, giving a speech that would usually be saved for the third act of an epic. He opens his mouth, and you smile a little wider. As he's about to speak, though, he's suddenly struck by a thought - and instead, he shuts his mouth and wraps his arms around you tightly.

You gasp a bit, unable to hold back your wide grin as he hugs you. You can feel your heart thumping away in your chest - you wonder if he can too. "Thank you," he whispers in your ear, "for always being with me."

"Of course," you tell him softly. "Thank you for being there for me too, Jean." He pats your back and then lets go, leaning back and beaming at you. You feel oddly exposed without his arms around you.

"With that - " He grabs his glass and raises it into the air. "I propose a toast. To our crusade and to our friendship." You pick up your glass and watch as Avdol and Joseph do the same. All at once, you clink your glasses together, laughing as Polnareff spills a bit of beer due to his enthusiasm. Once you've all finished your drinks in one long swig, you set down the empty glasses. You can't get the smile off your face.

"I'd say that was a good end to this little outing," Joseph says. "Goodnight, you guys. I'll see you tomorrow morning." He stands, and you follow suit.

"Yeah, goodnight. I hope you guys sleep alright."

Avdol nods his head. "I'm feeling pretty good, actually. I don't think sleep will be too difficult." As he speaks, he gently places his hand on your arm. "Thanks, (Y/N), for the words of reassurance."

You're pretty sure he had been the one reassuring you, but you don't saying anything. He draws his hand away and turns to Joseph. "I guess we should head back."

"What about Jotaro and Kakyoin?" You look up at Polnareff, who just brought up a point you're a little ashamed that you'd forgotten about. "We should check on them, see how they're holding up. Is that alright with you, (Y/N)?"

"Yeah, of course. It would be nice to say goodnight to them too." You crack a smile. "And maybe you can give them another one of your rousing speeches." Avdol chuckles a bit, while Polnareff's face goes red.

"W-well, anyways, we should be off. Good night, you two." Joseph and Avdol wave goodbye as you and Polnareff walk quickly to the elevator.

You share the elevator with a small, older man who looks pretty damn tired. You find yourself wondering what he's doing here - is he with his family? Away on business? Though he looks exhausted, he also keeps smiling a little to himself. You catch yourself thinking that he's a stand user, but you force that thought away. And just like that, the door opens, and he leaves. You guess he was just happy about something.

You and Polnareff get off on the next floor, which is still one below yours. You realize as you step through the doors that you forgot to ask Joseph what Jotaro and Kakyoin's room number was. "Shit," you breathe, turning and surveying the seemingly endless hallway. "I don't know which room is theirs."

Polnareff has to hold back a laugh at your expression. "Shut up," you say, punching him in the arm. "You're the one who suggested it, why the hell didn't you ask for the number?"

"Because I'm dumb! I guess we're both just dumb." You sigh, unable to keep from laughing at Polnareff's stupidly wide smile. "I suppose we can try yelling their names in the middle of the hallway until they hear us."

You nearly snort at that. "So this is what it's come to... Fine." You cup your hands around your mouth and bellow, "Jotaro! Kakyoin!" The second you do, Polnareff breaks down, folding over and absolutely dissolving into giggles. You yell again, a little louder this time. "Jotaro! Yo, guys! Kakyoin?"

The door right next you is suddenly punched, and you jump nearly a foot in the air. It seems you're disturbing the hotel patrons. You snort, leaning on the other wall and wheezing out one of the hardest laughs of your life. Polnareff grabs your shoulder and takes a shaking breath, struggling for air through his laughter. A few more people knock angrily on their doors, now annoyed with your obnoxious giggle fest in their hallway.

You suck in a deep breath and shout as loud as you can, "JOTARO!" The second the word leaves your mouth you collapse onto Polnareff, grabbing his arm as you try to stop howling with laughter. He grabs your waist to try and right you, and it nearly surprises you out of your giggles - it's quite a comforting feeling, having his hands on your waist. But the moment's over as soon as it began, and you're back to crying laughing with each other.

"Polnareff! (Y/N)! What the hell are you doing?" You both look up when you hear someone hiss at you from down the hallway. It's Kakyoin, with his head poked out of the doorway. "Just shut up and come in." You both walk over and enter his room, wiping tears from your eyes.

Their room looks just like yours. Kakyoin shuts the door behind you two and gestures for you to sit on the bed. You sit down next to Polnareff, looking around for Jotaro - he's nowhere to be found.

"He's in the shower," Kakyoin says. He sits down on the other bed and faces you. "Uh... Is there a reason you guys were screaming in the hallway?"

You snort, making Kakyoin jump. "Ah, sorry - we, uh, we didn't have your room number. So we had to resort to desperate measures." Polnareff has to hold back a laugh as well, while Kakyoin looks relatively unamused. "I'm just glad we found you. We wanted to say goodnight to you guys."

Kakyoin does smile at that. "That's nice of you. I appreciate it." You hear the shower turn off, so you figure Jotaro is done. "I... I haven't been able to get any sleep."

"I figured," Polnareff said. "This is hard to deal with. I don't know that I'll sleep much tonight either."

Kakyoin nods, playing with one of the buttons on his uniform. "Yeah." You're all silent for a few moments, until the bathroom door opens.

Jotaro steps out in a t-shirt and some pajama pants, and without his famous hat. "Looking good, Jotaro!" Polnareff calls with a grin, and Jotaro just glowers down at him.

"Hi, Jotaro," you say to make up for Polnareff's buffoonery. "So, uh..." You turn back to Kakyoin. "Was there anything you guys needed? Or did you want to do anything? We could all play cards if you want."

"I'm never playing cards again," Jotaro says from the other side of the room. "So no."

You suddenly remember when Joseph and Polnareff's souls had been trapped in poker chips, which Jotaro had to win back from the enemy stand user. Yeah, that's a good reason to never want to partake in cards again. "Ah. I get it." Jotaro sits down next to Kakyoin. "So you're all good?"

"Yes. Thanks for checking up on us." You and Polnareff both stand up.

Jotaro clears his throat. "But you don't have to treat us like little kids, assholes."

You frown. "Well shit, I wasn't trying to. I'm just worried for everyone, I guess."

Jotaro's expression eases a bit, and he nods. "Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm... I'm pretty nervous."

"Anyone would be," Polnareff says from beside you. You glance at him, and he looks a little anxious as well.

"But I'm gonna see my mom tomorrow, so it's alright." You look back to Jotaro, who has the hint of a smile on his face.

"Oh, yeah! I hope I get to meet her too, I've really wanted to."

"Yeah, I'm sure you can. She loves having people over." Jotaro shrugs. "So I guess we all just have to get through tomorrow."

You start to agree, but you suddenly remember what Avdol and you had spoken about earlier. You instead just nod your head. "Yeah." You turn to Polnareff. "Should we head back?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired." You both turn to the door, and Polnareff opens it.

As you leave, you turn around to look into the room one last time. "Goodnight, guys. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning." You give them a grin and a thumbs-up.

Kakyoin returns the gesture, which delights you. "Yeah. See you two tomorrow." And after one last wave goodbye, you leave and shut the door.

You get back to your room rather quickly. The first thing Polnareff does is flop face down onto his bed. He groans loudly and stretches his arms out to either side of him, nearly hitting you in the leg in the process. "Watch it," you say, narrowly dodging him and hopping onto your own bed. As Polnareff sits up, you grab your bag and cross your legs. "So what do you wanna do? Are you tired?"

He purses his lips. "Ah... No, not really. I'll go take a shower." You watch him stand and walk over to the bathroom, and then he disappears behind the door. Before he shuts it, he pokes his head out and calls, "See you in a minute." And with a grin and a silly wave, the door closes.

Now it's just you. You turn back to your bag, the remnants of a smile on your face. You feel really lucky to have Polnareff right now. He's such a bright and happy guy, and he's so fun to be around... You lean back against the wall and sigh.

You've learned a lot about Polnareff on this trip. He was open with you all from the very start, when he told you the story of his sister's death. It had broken your heart, hearing that. You tried to be nice to him when he joined the group; everyone else seemed a bit wary for a little while. Once you reached India, though, was when you became truly close. You hadn't gone with Polnareff when he broke off from the group - you weren't sure that he wanted you there - but you were with him the next day, when Hol Horse killed Avdol. Well, when you thought he had killed Avdol. You were also kept in the dark about that important little detail, which still pissed you off sometimes.

When the two of you had gotten back to the hotel after finding and killing J Geil, Polnareff had been a mess. You were both upset, of course, but Polnareff completely blamed himself for Avdol's death. You had held him that night, which was so unfamiliar; you'd never done that for someone before. But there was something about seeing Polnareff cry that filled you with utter sadness, and you knew you had to help him feel better. You needed to be there for him.

When it had happened, sure, you were a little flustered - who wouldn't be? It was an intimate position to be in with someone, but Polnareff was a close friend and you knew he needed it. As you reminisce on that emotional night, you hear Polnareff start singing in the shower. It's something in French, so you have no clue what he's saying, but he's clearly putting a lot of heart into it. You're smiling before you even realize it, and you find yourself humming along with his little ditty.

Polnareff always has the power to make you happy, no matter how you'd been feeling before. On occasion, you'd confide in him your anxieties with the trip, and the battle that faces you all at the end of it. He's always been able to calm your nerves, and usually he can make you laugh to boot. You really are lucky that you ended up with him. You honestly love being around him.

Love... Love. It's a serious word, but it really is true. He's always been there for you whenever this journey's gotten especially taxing, and you think you've been there for him too. You think you'd like to stay with him after this is over, no matter where he wants to go. You think you love him.

Suddenly, your conversation with Avdol earlier hits you like a truck. "I don't know who, but yes - we're not all going home tomorrow." You take a deep, shaking breath. You might not be going with him anywhere. You might not even see him again. As these thoughts continue, each one worse than the last, you can feel your eyes welling up with tears. You haven't cried once in these past few months, but this makes you feel completely hopeless. You can't imagine being without Polnareff.

He's still singing in the shower. You stand up and walk to the balcony, and as you make your way over, you feel like you're floating. You open the sliding door and shut it tightly; you don't want any cold air getting in. You lean up against the tall railing, looking down at the brightly-lit city. Now the tears start to fall.

You cross your arms over your chest, sobbing. It's as if this is the first time that you've truly realized what could happen tomorrow - you could die, Polnareff could die, shit, you both could die. Your heart pounds in your chest as you take another shallow, unstable breath. You could lose the one person who makes you happier than anyone else in the world. Another harsh sob wracks your body, and you sink to the floor, leaning against the door and holding your head in your hands. You feel horrible, worse than you ever have. You don't want to have to give up this new life, this new little family - the man you love.

When the door slides open behind you, you nearly scream. "(Y/N), what are you doing out here? It's freezing." You hesitantly look up at him, knowing what you must look like, and Polnareff's face instantly falls.

"Sorry," you say almost reflexively. You feel the need to explain yourself. "I-I just - "

Before you can finish, Polnareff crouches down and pulls you into a tight, almost crushing hug. Your breath catches in your throat and you can only let tears stream down your face. "Ne pleure pas," he murmurs, and you're too caught up in everything to ask what that means. "Please." You hiccup and wince, trying to keep yourself from sobbing again. It feels so, so right being in his arms - but this might be the last time you ever get to feel it.

"Can I help you up?" he asks you softly. "We should go inside. It's too damn cold out here." You nod shakily, and you let him take your hands and pull you gently to your feet; he does it like it's nothing. Not letting go of your hand, he opens the door and leads you inside. He shuts it as you sit down on the bed.

You can't bring yourself to look at him; you think if you get a good look at his face you'll utterly break down. He sits down next to you and wraps his arm over your arms, and you cry a little harder at how tenderly his fingers rest on your shoulder. "I think I know what's wrong," he starts, almost cautiously, "but do you want to talk about it? You know I want to listen."

I love you. "...It's just everything." You're not lying, technically. "I-I'm sorry, I've never done this before but I -"

"Stop apologizing," he tells you, his voice firmer than it had been before. You finally chance a look at him, and his expression nearly knocks the breath out of you. He cares deeply for you, you can see it in his eyes - if you're being honest with yourself, it's an expression that's clearly rooted in love. You try to shove the thought away but you can't. It almost hurts you to see him so invested in you. "Remember back in India? When we thought Avdol was dead? I cried, God, I cried so much - and you were there for me the whole time. You helped me so, so much. What kind of man would I be if I didn't do the same for you?" He leans back in and hugs you again, catching you off guard. You hesitantly wrap your shaking hands around his broad shoulders, leaning your head into the crook of his neck.

He speaks, and you feel his voice all through your body. "I know how you feel," he says softly. "Trust me, I do. I'm fucking terrified. I can't begin to describe how scared I am of losing you." You've nearly run out of tears to cry at this point, but his admittance makes you hold back a sob. "I swear to you - I will do everything in my power tomorrow to keep you safe. I'll protect you with everything I have, (Y/N). Tomorrow... Silver Chariot is yours."

"That's not what I want," you say quickly, surprised by the hollowness of your voice. He pauses, and while you can't see his expression, you're sure he's confused. "I just need you to live, Jean. I need - I need us to be together after this is over." You hardly realize what you've said until the words leave your lips. "With everyone. I can't lose you guys."

He doesn't seem completely convinced by the last words you tacked on to your statement. "Yes, alright... We'll protect each other. We'll stay together and we won't let anything happen. Okay?"

You sniff, thinking suddenly of all the tears you must have gotten on Polnareff's shirt. "...Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there for you no matter what happens." I love you.

He nods against you, and you let go of a shaky sigh. "Good. Good, (Y/N). I won't let anything happen to you." It's a promise he can't keep, but for some reason it makes you feel better hearing it. You think you might finally be done crying. "Do you want to try and get some sleep?" he asks gently.

"Yeah, I - I just have to change." You carefully untangle yourself from Polnareff's arms and stand up, feeling horribly nervous. You grab your bag and quickly shut yourself in the bathroom.

You can't get yourself to breathe evenly. You lean against the wall, trying to avoid your reflection in the mirror. You really hadn't meant for that to happen. You had planned on keeping it together tonight, on not making anything weird - but you fucked it up. You pull your pajamas - an old band t-shirt and a pair of sweats - out of your bag and set them on the counter with shaking hands. Maybe you should take a minute for yourself in here.

As you change, you think about what just happened. Polnareff had essentially done for you what you had done for him all those weeks ago, when you shared the room after Avdol's death. There's something so right about being in each other's arms, for both of you it seems. You wonder if he feels for you how you feel for him.

You're not sure if you want him to. That thought might even be scarier than him not reciprocating your feelings, because if he dies and you know that he loved you, you just might lose it. Every time you think about the potential of dying, a dull pain begins to thud away in your head and you feel your breath get shorter and shallower. You throw your dirty clothes into your bag and grip the counter tightly with both hands, staring into the mirror.

You look like a wreck. It's written on your face that you've been crying nonstop for the past half an hour. You force yourself to even out your breathing, and then you wipe your eyes rather aggressively. After one last look in the mirror (which really doesn't help), you pick up your bag and leave the tiny, stifling room.

Polnareff is sitting where you left him. "Hey," you say quietly. He turns to you and smiles a little as you set down your stuff on the ground. "Well, I'm ready to go to bed. Are you?"

"Yeah. I'm falling asleep a little already." He gives a clearly exaggerated yawn, and you laugh shortly at his efforts. He stands up, pulling the covers back on his bed. You watch him, expecting him to climb in and bid you goodnight, but he doesn't move.

"...(Y/N)?" he says, a little hesitantly. You raise your eyebrows. "...I - " He huffs out a laugh, and you frown. "You're really going to make me ask?" It's clear that you're still not getting it. He smiles softly. "Would you like to share the bed?"

"Oh!" Your eyes widen, and you smile a little nervously. "I, uh... Yeah. Sure." Polnareff lays down on the bed and you follow him, grimacing as you clumsily elbow Polnareff in the arm. Polnareff's laugh wipes the frown right from your face, though.

After a silent, weird moment of laying on your backs together, staring up at the ceiling, you both turn inwards and face each other. "I won't go back on my word, okay?" Polnareff whispers, reaching out and taking your hand. You nearly shiver at the contact. "I'll stay alive for you, so we can be together after all this. It's all I want."

"Me too. I'll protect you, and I - I'll do everything I can to stay alive." The words sound a little hollow coming from you because you're not sure if you can believe them, but Polnareff still smiles in appreciation.

"Good night, (Y/N). I'll see you tomorrow." The word "tomorrow" grips your heart and makes your breath catch in your throat, but you try not to think about it. It's just another day. It's just another day, and you're going to see thousands of more days after it. You and Polnareff, together.

You give him a slight nod and turn around, and Polnareff wraps his arms tightly around you. You hold his hands against your midsection, sighing as you feel him rest his head next to your shoulder. You shut your eyes, and it takes you a second to realize you're crying again. You suppose you'd been waiting to be out of his line of sight. As the tears stream down your face, though, you stay silent - you don't want to jeopardize this lovely, loving feeling. His arms around you are like heaven. Every time his breath tickles your ear you want to cry harder. You're feeling too much, love and grief and fear and passion, all at once and it hurts more than you could ever imagine. I love you.

He mumbles something that you can't quite understand in a half-asleep daze, and you nearly melt when he snuggles closer to you. You want so badly to verbalize your thoughts and tell him how much he means to you, but you can't - you can't bear to lose him tomorrow, or to die and leave him alone after spending only one night together, when it should've been every night. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you... You repeat it in your head like a mantra as you slowly drift to sleep.

---

You wake up alone. When you realize it, you're stricken with panic, but as you sit up, you catch a glance of Polnareff slipping into the bathroom. You lean your head back against the wall and sigh, shutting your eyes. It's here.

Polnarff looks over at you from the bathroom and smiles. "Good morning," he calls, as he messes with his hair.

"Morning," you answer groggily, rubbing your eyes. "How long have you been awake...?"

"About an hour. I thought I'd let you sleep." He turns away and starts attacking his hair with hairspray, and you smile. It was a thoughtful little thing he said, and it makes you feel cared for.

"Thanks." You look over at the clock and see that it's 8:30. "They want to meet at 9, right?"

"Yeah."

You nod and force yourself to get out of bed, wincing as your joints crack. "I'm gonna change in here, Polnareff. Close the door." He looks over at you and nods, reaching out and closing the bathroom door. "Thanks," you call as you take out your clothes.

You get dressed and then pack away what other things you have. You really hadn't brought anything on this trip. You throw your bag over your shoulders and sit on your bed, kicking your legs back and forth. After a few minutes, the bathroom door opens and Polnareff steps out, clad in his usual outfit.

"Hey." You look at the clock again. "You know, we've still got twenty minutes. Do you wanna grab some coffee?"

"That sounds great." He picks up his bag, which he's already packed, and you both say goodbye to your little hotel room.

The elevator is empty, as it's still a little early for people to be out and about. You listen to the elevator music as you lean against the back wall, looking at your distorted reflection in the metal door. "(Y/N)," Polnareff says, and you look over at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," you answer quickly. You don't quite know if you actually are feeling more at peace with your situation, or if you've just gotten over the urge to cry. "Thank you again for last night. I'm sorry I -" You catch yourself apologizing and stop before Polnareff can say anything. "Thank you."

"Of course." He moves his arm towards you, and he hesitates for a moment before gently hugging you. You hug him back, resting your head on his chest. "Just remember what we said. We'll both be fine."

"I will," you promise, and you think you might mean it. The elevator dings, and you both pull away as the door opens to reveal the main floor. "There's gotta be a coffee place right outside, don't you think?"

"Probably." You both head outside and survey the area, searching for any sign of a coffee shop. "Oh! There's one." Polnareff grabs your hand and pulls you over to a small store a few buildings down. You smile as you follow him, holding tightly onto his hand. It's so warm - he's always so warm.

Once you reach the store, you head up to the counter. "Uh..." There's an English translation of the menu in small print on the back wall, and you squint at it as you decide what to get. "One large iced coffee, please."

"Iced coffee?!" Polnareff looks down at you in surprise. "You drink that stuff?"

"Why not? It's really good." You pull out your wallet and grab the appropriate payment, making sure to check twice - you don't know the currency very well. "Have you ever had it?"

"No. I drink hot coffee like everyone else." You roll your eyes as you pay, and then you move over so Polnareff can order.

"I swear it's really good, dude. You should get some!" Polnareff frowns, and you laugh. "You know, I read somewhere that the French invented iced coffee. I don't want to see you betraying your homeland."

He pouts, and begrudgingly he turns to the cashier. "One large hot coffee, and one large iced coffee." After he pays, he joins you at the counter. "If the French made it I'm sure it's alright, at least. But if I hate it, you can have the rest of mine."

"Oh, thanks! But I think you'll like it." You both stand and wait for your drinks, listening to the faint radio playing in the store. It's jazz - it fits the little shop.

After a few minutes, your orders are both finished. You put some cream and sugar into your coffee and stir it with your straw. "How do you take your coffee?" you ask Polnareff. "I don't think I've ever noticed."

"Lots of cream and sugar." He proves his point by dumping a shocking amount of sugar into both of his drinks. He does the same with the cream. "I like sweet things."

You grab a table next to a window and sit down, setting your drink in front of you. You take a sip and smile; it's some of the best coffee you've ever had. "It's the moment of truth," Polnareff mutters, eyeing his cold beverage with raised eyebrows.

"It's not gonna kill you. Try it!" He nods, taking a deep breath, and quickly he takes a large swig of the iced coffee.

You can't tell immediately what he thinks of it. He sets down the cup and hums, then sighs. "You're right. It tastes great."

You laugh, putting your hand in the air for a high-five. "I knew it!" He high-fives you, but he doesn't look very happy about it. "I knew you would like it."

"I can't even try to deny it. It's really good." You laugh again at his little admission and drink your own coffee. "Do you want the hot coffee too? You seem a little tired."

"Uh..." You are feeling a little sluggish, and your brain is using up a lot of energy to push all your existential feelings of dread to the back of your mind. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Of course not! Here you go." He slides it to you and you take it.

After a few more minutes, you've both finished your heavenly iced beverages. "They're expecting us in...five minutes," Polnareff murmurs, checking his watch. "You ready?" You nod and grab your second coffee, and you head out the door.

You're glad you made that little stop, and you're glad you were the person to introduce Polnareff to the wonders of iced coffee. You'd been afraid that once you reached today, everything would be over - you would be completely consumed by your nerves. But that doesn't seem to be the case. At least you've made one last good memory with Polnareff before you confront Dio.

You reenter the hotel and find everyone standing in the lobby. "Where were you guys?" Avdol asks.

You raise your cup of coffee. "Just went for a morning pick-me-up," you reply, smiling. Kakyoin rolls his eyes at that. "Are you guys all ready?"

Everyone nods. The mood is somber among you all, which is obviously expected - but it doesn't make it any easier to face. You don't really know what to say to break up this oppressive atmosphere, but luckily Joseph speaks for you. "Then let's head out. We've got a long day ahead of us."

And with that, you're off. Joseph leads your ragtag group out of the hotel and down the streets of Cairo. It feels a lot like your walk yesterday - with Joseph and Avdol discussing game plans in the front, Jotaro and Kakyoin talking about more casual topics with Iggy beside them, and you and Polnareff at the back. You feel a little better now, somehow. You might even be letting yourself hope that everything will be alright. You reach out and brush your pinkie against Polnareff's hand, not turning to him. He gets the message instantly and wraps his larger hand around yours. It's sweet and comforting and so full of love, and you never want to let go. You won't let go, until you've killed Dio.

---

The mansion would be pitch black if not for Avdol's strong flames illuminating the hallways. It's only you, Polnareff, Avdol, and Iggy now; the other three crusaders had fallen into some sort of trap placed by Terence D'Arby, Dio's butler. He looked like an asshole. You hope they're doing alright.

You walk carefully, making sure to take a good look around before every step. Polnareff is beside you, being just as cautious, and Iggy and Avdol are in front of you two. Avdol leads the way with the compass of sorts he's created, which can sense the movement of any stand or human. "See anything, Avdol?" Polnareff whispers, and Avdol just shakes his head.

Thankfully, the mansion isn't as large as it looks. You'd encountered a little guy earlier whose stand had been creating an illusion throughout this main floor that made it much more complex than it truly is; after you pummeled him, the area shifted into a much more manageable space. Still, though, you're scared out of your mind of what you might uncover in each dark corner. You're not holding Polnareff's hand anymore, but it really feels like you are - you can tell he's looking out for you from the way he leans towards you with every step.

A few more minutes pass, and you finally encounter something new. It's a large column with seemingly no purpose. Avdol brings his flame closer to the pillar to get a good look at it, and as he does, you can vaguely make out words etched into the stone surface. Avdol leans in to read them, and you go to do the same, but suddenly Avdol whips around and grabs you by the arm.

You frown, trying to shrug your arm out of his grasp. "What is it?" you ask, but Avdol's frantic expression tells you all you need to know - it's not good. "Seriously, Avdol, tell me - "

His eyes shift to Polnareff, who's about to step right behind Avdol and adjacent to the pillar. "Polnareff, watch out!" Avdol screams, letting go of your arm and shoving you away. As you stumble back, completely confused, Avdol grabs Polnareff and pushes him harshly towards you. "Just stay back," he breathes, turning and looking pointedly at you, "and you'll be - "

It happens before you can even comprehend it. In the blink of an eye, Avdol vanishes, and you hear a loud thud. Your head whips downwards and you gasp loudly when you see his arms lying motionless on the ground, detached from his body. You feel yourself start to shake as you turn to Polnareff, who's equally shocked. "Fuck," he breathes, falling back into the wall behind him. "Avdol!" he shouts, clearly desperate. "Avdol, where are you?!"

Instead of getting an answer, you're only horrified further when Avdol's arms are lifted into the air and seemingly swallowed by nothing. As you watch, mortified, a figure slowly fades into view; it's some sort of floating being with no legs and an impossibly large stomach. You stare at it, unable to move, until Polnareff's frantic voice breaks you from your shock.

"What the hell did you do to Avdol?" he screams, summoning his stand at once. You blink and do the same - you were so caught up in whatever the hell you've just witnessed that you forgot to get your stand.

A voice echoes from deep within the stand in front of you. "I placed him in the void."

He doesn't explain. He just states that, as if it makes any sense. "What - what the fuck is that? Where is he?" you breathe, your voice shaking.

"Not even I know where the things my stand swallows go," the voice replies. "Who's to say where he is? He's certainly not on Earth any longer. Wherever he is, I'm sure he's dead."

You can't take a full breath. "I..." You hear Iggy take a shuddering breath from beside you, and you look down at him with wide eyes. He looks totally stunned; he's clearly in shock. You somehow manage to steel yourself, and in a flurry you prepare to attack. Your stand has long-ranged attacks - as the Knight of Cups, it shoots powerful arrows from a far distance. Your stand pulls out an arrow and shoots instantly at the stand, but before it can hit, the stand opens its gaping mouth and swallows the arrow just as it's about to pierce its eye.

"Fuck," you mutter, and you back further into the wall. Tears are forming quickly in your eyes. "Polnareff, what do I -"

When you hear Polnareff sob, you turn to him. He's sunk to the ground, shaking with tears streaming down his face. Iggy still hasn't moved; he still can't believe it. You drop to your knees and place your hands on Polnareff's shoulders, trying to spit out some comforting words in the haze of your mind, but before you can, the wall behind you is smashed and breaks into pieces.

A couple small pieces of concrete fall on you, but you hardly even feel it. Had the stand - can it make itself invisible? You hadn't seen it hit the wall, shit, you hadn't seen anything. You're totally at a loss here. "We've gotta go, Polnareff," you tell him, urgently pulling on his arm. Still beside himself, he stands up with you and stares at the large hole in the wall. "I - I don't know how he -" Your voice cuts off and is replaced by something between a cough and a sob. "He's - he's probably going to Dio. We have to..." You can't force the words out - it's your worst fear. You know it's what you have to do, though. "Follow him. We have to follow him up. " You grab Polnareff's hand and hold it so tightly it must hurt, and you drag him along. Your heart is pounding non-stop in your chest, and sharp pain is starting to spread all throughout your body. You can't believe that Avdol is gone - really, this time. You're not sure if you've even fully realized it yet.

You don't even wipe the tears from your face as you sprint up the stairs, with Polnareff and Iggy hot on your heels. You keep stumbling, but every time you manage to push yourself through it and scale another two steps. Your brain is on autopilot now - you know if you don't move quickly, and move right, you're going to die. Once you've reached what you're pretty sure is the third floor, you spot a large, circular hole in the wall that's nearly identical to the one the stand had left downstairs. You skid to a stop, and Polnareff runs into you and nearly knocks you to the ground. He manages to catch you, and you both stand and stare at the large hole, trying desperately to catch your breath.

Polnareff's hands leave your sides and he walks slowly towards the hole. It seems to lead into a large ballroom. "Shh," he hisses at you, and you nod, creeping towards him. Iggy walks beside you, just as quiet. You both step through the hole, then you lift Iggy through and place him on the ground next to you. The room is large and beautiful; the walls are lined with intricate designs, and a large window covered by a thick curtain is on the far wall.

"Where the fuck is he?" you breathe, taking a few steps into the room. It's totally empty. "Where's Dio?"

"I have already consulted Dio." You scream when a voice echoes from behind you, and you stumble before turning around. A large, impossibly muscular man stands before you three, with long brown hair and a stony expression. "He has granted me the privilege of killing you all. He gifted me, Vanilla Ice, his blood and this opportunity." You feel horribly sick to your stomach when Vanilla Ice's face twists with pride. "You'll go first. You dared to try and attack me."

You summon your stand, but before you can make another move, Polnareff pushes you to the side. You stumble back, and you watch in horror as Polnareff takes out his stand and points Silver Chariot's sword directly at Vanilla Ice. "You'll have to get through me first," he spits, voice full of venom, but Vanilla Ice just laughs.

"Alright." He leaps into the air, and suddenly his stand reappears; it seems to swallow him up before vanishing again.

You run to Polnareff, grabbing his arm and pulling him down to the ground. "Fuck, Jean, you didn't - why did you do that?" you hiss. "If he wants to fight me, let him -"

"No." His voice is firm, and it shocks you; there's a new determination in his eyes that you hadn't expected to see. "I won't let him kill you, (Y/N)."

Suddenly, Iggy barks, jolting both of you out of your conversation. You hop up and run over to him. "What is it?" you ask, crouching down in front of him.

He runs over to a large curtain beside a staircase on the other side of the room, and you and Polnareff follow. You both lean against the side of the stairs and cover yourselves with the curtian. "What the fuck are you doing, Iggy?" Polnareff whispers, watching the dog.

Iggy summons his stand, and instantly sand starts to swirl around the room. You watch as it all comes together and begins to take the shape of a man; as you keep watching, it eventually turns into an exact replica of Dio. "Shit," you breathe. "Nice thinking. He's not still in here, is he? Did he see that?"

"There's no way to tell," Polnareff murmurs back. "We just have to wait -"

"Lord Dio!" Vanilla Ice materializes once again at the other end of the room. He rushes to the sand statue and drops to the ground, bowing deeply. "What are you doing here?" he says to the ground. "You should be in your study."

"I grew tired of waiting," the statue replies, and your eyes widen; Iggy's stand is a lot more powerful than you thought. "Are they dead yet?"

"No, my lord," Vanilla Ice replies. "I apologize. They will be dead soon." He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and stands. "I thank you for the gift you've given me, Lord Dio," he sighs, taking the statue's hand and caressing it. "Your blood gives me more and more strength by the minute. With your blood flowing through my veins, I'll kill them without having to lift a finger." He lets go of the sand statue and turns around, scoping out the room. "I just have to find them."

Iggy slowly raises the statue's hand into the air, so he can strike down right at Vanilla Ice's neck. Finally, after a few agonizing seconds, his hand is fully raised. Just as he brings it down, though, Vanilla Ice turns around and smacks it. It, and the rest of Dio's body, dissolves into sand and blows away.

"You must think me an imbecile," he shouts, eyes wide in a crazed rage. "Lord Dio would never set foot in this room, you idiots. It has a window." Fuck - you all had forgotten. "You'll pay for this, scum. You've insulted Lord Dio in the most unforgivable way. He is too mighty to ever be represented by your filthy false icon." Your heart drops into your stomach, and you try as hard as you can to remain still. Iggy had taken some damage from Vanilla Ice's strike, it seems, so you dive down quickly and pick him up. The motion doesn't seem to alert him, thank God.

He disappears once again, and before you can blink a hole appears in the wall right next to you. You shriek, falling back into Polnareff, and the three of you all hit the ground hard. You try to scramble away - you know another attack is coming soon - but before you can get out from behind the curtain, an impossibly fast force runs straight through your leg.

You scream as a chunk of your leg is ripped straight off and blood immediately pours from the wound. You reach down and grab at it, sobbing, but nothing you do relieves the searing pain that spreads all throughout your body. Polnareff freezes, stunned, but not a moment later he lunges towards you and crouches down. "Fuck, (Y/N), you'll - you'll be fine," he mutters, grabbing the curtains and tearing off a large piece. "Let me - let me tie it, and then you'll..." He wraps the curtain around your wound and knots it, pulling the curtain tight, and the pressure makes your head spin.

Your head lolls back and you feel yourself nearly slip from consciousness, but before you do Iggy quickly forms a hand from sand and smacks you in the face. "Fuck!" you shout, grabbing your cheek, but you quickly shake yourself and snap back to reality. "Thank you."

"Can you stand?" Polnareff asks you quickly, stretching out his arms. "Let me help you." You steel yourself and take his hands, and he gently pulls up up onto your feet. It hurts more than anything you've ever felt, but - you can hold yourself up just barely. You limp a few steps away from the wall, and Polnareff reaches out and wraps his arm around your shoulders. "Fuck, be careful! Don't fall." Suddenly, another smash echoes through the room, and you swallow back a scream.

It's the spherical shape again, but this time it's moving; it carves a path into the perimeter of the wall and just keeps going, until it hits the corner of the room and jerks in the other direction. It seems to be outlining the room. "What the fuck is he doing...?" you breathe, watching as the grooves in the ground continue down the next wall.

It hits another corner and spins around to the next wall. It's getting the perimeter of the room, but why...? Suddenly, you realize what he's doing. "He can't see in there," you say softly. Polnareff and Iggy both look to you, confused. "He can't see. Everything he's done so far has been blind shots. Now, he's just - he's covering the entire room from the outside and in to the middle. If he does that he's gonna hit us eventually."

The second you finish talking, you hear Polnareff scream from beside you. It seems that the stand had managed to sneak up on you; he'd moved just an inch in closer to the middle, and it caught Polnareff. You grab him, righting him. "What happened?" you ask, running your eyes over his body to see where he was hit. He lifts up his right hand, shaking, and two of his fingers are gone.

You feel like throwing up. "Iggy, can you get more of that curtain?" you ask, your voice high-pitched with anxiety. He nods and runs over, ripping off a large piece with his teeth. You take it from him and start to wrap up Polnareff's hand, which is gushing blood. He grits his teeth and hisses as you tie it up. "You'll be fine, I've got you. We'll figure this out, I swear -"

"Just get to the middle," Polnareff manages to say, and you nod hurriedly. You yank him over to the center of the room and you hold back a scream when pain shoots up through your leg. "Sit down," he tells you, and you let yourself hit the ground with a dull 'thud.' "What the fuck are we gonna do? How do we escape this?" The sound of Vanilla Ice carving up the floor is getting louder and louder. Iggy joins you two and watches as the invisible sphere spins round and round, revolving like the moon around you helpless three.

Polnareff suddenly sits up, and it's clear he has an idea. "We've gotta get out of this room," he says, grabbing your hand and gesturing for Iggy to hop up onto his shoulder. "I'll get us out of here. Just hold on and we'll get out through the window. Iggy, can you make some kind of cushion if we jump?" The dog yips in a way that sounds affirmative. "Good. Get ready." Polnareff stands, pulling you up with him, and he makes for the window.

Vanilla Ice is blind right now, you're sure of it - but it seems he can hear. The sphere swerves without warning and collides with Polnareff's left leg, and nearly all of his calf is torn off of him. He falls instantly, but just as quickly he tries to stand - and finds that he can't. With you and Iggy, he can't force himself up. "Polnareff!" you cry, reaching out and pulling him back towards the middle. "Just - we can get back. If we get back to the middle we'll have time to think." The three of you, all injured in some way, manage to push yourselves back to the middle of the room.

Vanilla Ice is nearly at the center now. You've been crying since you first encountered, but this is the first time since Avdol died that you're really conscious of the tears streaming down your face. You look at Polnareff, who's choking back sobs. "This is - fuck, this wasn't what was supposed to happen," you whisper, reaching out and holding his uninjured hand. "I can't move. I - I can't do anything, I -"

"You're not dying," Polnareff nearly yells at you, and you're so surprised that you stop crying. "I'm not letting you go, (Y/N)."

"How? We can't move, Polnareff. We're stuck here and we're fucked, he's gonna -" You've been staring at Polnareff, but for a second you glance behind him and you see the ground cave in just before the two of you. You shut your eyes and hug him, burying your face in his chest, but just as it's about to hit -

You're launched into the air - you have no idea by what. Your eyes snap open, and you turn your head; Iggy remains on the ground, breathing heavily, and Vanilla Ice stands before him looking utterly confused. Slowly, his gaze turns upwards, and you and Polnareff are dropped unceremoniously on the ground by Iggy's stand.

You cry out when your head thuds against the ground and you land hard on your right wrist - you think it's broken. You grind your teeth together as you try to sit up, just barely pushing yourself up against the wall. It seems Polnareff had landed a bit more gracefully, and he tries to crawl over to Iggy - but Vanilla Ice beats him. He snatches Iggy up by the neck and throws him, as hard as he can, into the wall.

You're fucking enraged. You watch, unable to do much else, as Vanilla Ice kicks Iggy hard in the stomach. Polnareff swears beside you, and you watch as he manages to pull himself to his knees. He turns around and meets your eyes, then looks to Vanilla Ice. He's planning something.

Polnareff silently walks on his knees to Vanilla Ice, and as he does he summons Silver Chariot. He's in the perfect position to stab him in the head, but you both know the stab alone wouldn't be enough. You get your own stand and conjure up the most powerful arrow you can muster. As Iggy's cries echo throughout the room, you let the arrow shoot directly into the back of Vanilla Ice's head, and you fall back. It had taken everything just to do that. Your vision is swimming, and you can't even force yourself to sit up and see what's happened to Polnareff and Iggy. Despite your best efforts, your eyes slide shut, and you pass out.

---

You slowly fade back into consciousness, and the first thing you notice is that you're in motion. You crane your neck to get a better look at your surroundings, trying to ignore the screaming pain all throughout your body, and you're clearly outside now - all the buildings and the stars soaring past your vision is making you horribly dizzy. You groan, shutting your eyes, and suddenly the vehicle you're on stops. You lurch forward and nearly vomit.

"(Y/N), you're awake!" You blink when Polnareff shouts loudly in your ear. He picks you up and grins down at you, and it's clear he's been crying more. "Fuck, I was so scared. I thought you died."

"...Can't get rid of me that easy," you rasp, surprised by how dry your throat is. He nearly laughs, and gently he sets you down.

"I'm glad you're okay, (Y/N)," you hear someone else say, and you turn. It's Jotaro, and thankfully he looks unharmed. "You look like shit."

"I feel like shit."

He nods - fair enough - and turns to Polnareff. "Stay here with (Y/N), I won't be long." He starts to leave, but Polnareff reaches out and grabs his hand before he can go.

"You're sure you won't need me?" he asks, frowning. "You have no idea what he's capable of."

"You're in no condition to help anybody," Jotaro replies, shrugging Polnareff's hand away. "Just stay safe and keep (Y/N) safe. You're both too badly hurt to do anything but that." And with that, he leaves you and Polnareff alone in a dark, silent alley.

You've got a bit of a view of the street from here, and you can see Jotaro walking down the sidewalk with clear purpose. This is everything he's been waiting for - the chance to save his mother. You can tell he's eager for it to be over. "Well..." You look to Polnareff, who sits down beside you and takes your hand. "We did it. We're both still alive." You think back to Avdol, and guilt rushes through you; you never could've expected that he had been referring to himself with his premonition last night. You try not to cry as you slightly adjust yourself. You can't get comfortable, no matter how hard you try. Everything hurts too much. "Hey..." You realize suddenly that you're missing someone. "Where's Iggy?" You figure Polnareff had managed to get him out of Vanilla Ice's line of fire with that last shot by Silver Chariot.

Polnareff's face drops, and your expression falls. "He... He didn't make it. It was a second too late." You turn away from Polnareff and cover your face with your hands, trying not to scream. He's just a dog, he - God, he hadn't deserved any of this.

"He should be here," you murmur into your palms. "Avdol should be here right now, sitting with us." As you speak, Polnareff leans against you, and you feel his tears drip onto your arms. You shut your eyes and rest your head against his shoulder. You're too tired to even open your eyes. You drift back out of consciousness while Polnareff cries silently beside you.

A motion from next to you is what stirs you, and you open your eyes. Polnareff is trying to get up, but he's clearly having a hard time. "Where are you going...?" you mumble as he finally gets to his feet. He looks down at you and his eyes widen; was he trying to sneak away...?

"I have to go, (Y/N), please." Go where? Polnareff glances back at the entrance of the alley, and you look as well. You gasp when you see Jotaro lying motionless on the ground, and what must be Dio looming over him with a road sign in his hand. "He's about to die, and I have to do something."

You know he's right, and you fucking hate it. "No," you say softly, reaching out and taking his hands. "Don't. You'll die, Jean, I know you will, you have to stay with me." You've fully gained consciousness now, and your mind is absolutely screaming. You thought you'd done it. You thought you'd leave here with him and be with him for the rest of your life. He can't go and you can't lose him. It's getting harder to breathe.

"Non," he replies gently, crouching down. He seems much more at peace with this than you are. "S'il te plaît, ne sois pas fâché," he murmurs, and he leans in and kisses you.

You reach out and wrap your arms around him, pulling him close. His lips are soft and he's gentle as he presses them to yours, reaching up and running a hand through your hair. After a moment of taking each other in, reveling in your closeness, you part. You feel indescribably empty. "I'll be back with Jotaro," he says, and he presses a kiss to your forehead before walking away and leaving you alone. Completely alone.

You try to follow him, try to pull yourself up or even drag yourself out from the alley - but nothing works. You push yourself back up against the wall and let out a gut-wrenching sob, covering your mouth to muffle the noise as best as you can. You can't stop shaking, and you can't stop feeling the lingering touch of Polnareff's lips on yours. You love him. You love him and you need him like you've never needed anyone before, and you're about to lose him. He kissed you and he left you. You pull your knees up to your chest and sob until you can't anymore, and once again fatigue grips you and pulls you under.

---

When you wake up this time, you're alone. There's no one to reassure you, to fill you in on what's happened - you're alone in a hospital bed, with only the beeping of the various machines to give you company. You crane your neck to the door and see that it's open; you consider calling for someone, but instead you just lay your head back on the pillow beneath you. You feel so much better than you had the last time you were awake; it seems like they've done a good job of patching you up. Curiously you reach down and poke your leg, where you'd been hit, and other than the jolt of pain at the touch it feels relatively normal. You push yourself up a bit so you're leaning against the wall, and you clasp your hands and set them on your lap.

Is Polnareff dead? The question is like a smack to the face. You suck in a deep breath and shakily release it, swearing to yourself that you won't cry. You've done too much fucking crying.

THere's no way he survived a face-off with Dio, just no way. He had already been beat up; even at his best he wouldn't be able to stand a chance alone. You grip your hands together so tightly they start to hurt, but you can't stop. It's a distraction from all the horrifying images your brain is conjuring up, of Avdol's arms lying alone on the cold ground, of Iggy being kicked and punched over and over and over, of Polnareff walking away and leaving you to watch him die -

"(Y/N)!" You look to the door when you hear your name called, and you nearly burst into tears at the sight of Joseph's grinning face. He bounds into the room, which surprises you; he's covered in bandages. "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're alright. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess." You lift up your hand and look at your wrist, which is wrapped in a cast. "Yeah. I feel a lot better." Joseph reaches out and places his prosthetic hand delicately over yours, and you can't express how much you appreciate it. "...What did I miss?"

He looks up at you and frowns, and you elaborate. "I was really out of it. Last I remember I was..." You're afraid to mention Polnareff; that might spur Joseph to deliver the bad news. "I was watching Jotaro fight Dio. I thought Jotaro was dead."

"He was pretending to be dead, actually. Used Star Platinum to stop his own heart." Your eyes widen, and Joseph nods knowingly. "I have the most impressive grandson, don't I?"

"Yeah, you do. Holy shit." You'd all made monumental sacrifices in this fight, it seems. "So... He beat Dio?"

"Yes. I nearly died, too, when Dio drank my blood, but Jotaro had the bright idea of performing a blood transfusion once Dio was dead. He truly saved my ass in every way."

"Wow. We're really lucky we had him."

Joseph's gaze flits down to his hand over yours, resting on the bed. "I'm assuming... I'm guessing you know about Iggy and Avdol."

Your throat tightens, and you nod. "Yeah. I saw it." You can't stop thinking about it, honestly. Even while talking to Joseph your mind is running a slideshow of every horrific thing you witnessed.

"I'm sorry." He takes your other hand, surprising you, and holds it tenderly. "Avdol was a good man, and a dear, dear friend, and I'm going to miss him. He deserves to be here with us."

"It's not fair," you say in an exhale, and you nod your head in agreement with Joseph. After a long moment of silence between the two of you, in which you both think about everything you loved Avdol for, you look up. You have to ask the question, no matter how much you're dreading it. "How's everyone else...?"

Joseph meets your gaze, which is somewhat relieving. "Polnareff is fine. He was in rough shape when they brought him in, but he'll definitely be alright."

You fall forward a bit, letting go of your breath. Joseph smiles a bit and puts his arm on your shoulder as you grin at him. "Thank God," you say, not really to Joseph but just to the world. "Holy shit, I was so terrified. So he's fine?"

"He's been sleeping for most of the day, but he woke up once to ask how you were and then passed right out again." You laugh out loud, leaning back, and Joseph watches you with an easy smile on his face. "Please tell me he told you."

You smile. "He did, but I kind of figured anyway."

"Kind of? Jesus." He laughs shortly, and then his smile fades a bit.

"So what about Kakyoin?" you ask, running a hand through your hair. "What's up with him?"

Joseph's expression is like a shot to the heart, and before you know what you're doing you grab him and wrap your arms around him. You rest your head on his shoulder with wide eyes that are quickly welling up with tears - you think you'd grabbed him so quickly so you didn't have to see his face. It told you everything in less than a second.

"Who did it?" you whisper, not trusting yourself to speak.

"Dio," Joseph responds, his voice much more steady. "Kakyoin died telling us the secret of Dio's stand. He's the reason we were able to win."

"...Oh." You squeeze your eyes shut and force yourself to breathe evenly. Fuck - he was seventeen. He shouldn't have had to die for anything. He was just a kid, and Iggy was just a dog, and Avdol was a good man who deserved only great things -

"(Y/N)." You open your eyes when Joseph's voice tears you from your thoughts. You slowly lean back and let go of him, reaching up and wiping your eyes. "I have to go check on Jotaro. I'll be back later, hopefully with him. Okay?"

You nod, sniffling. He takes your hand and lifts it to his lips, gently pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "I know how it feels," he says softly, letting his hand linger in yours. "Trust me, I know how much it hurts. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, (Y/N). If anyone can get through this I know it's you. And don't forget that we're all here to help you, okay? And help each other. You'll never be alone again."

You think Avdol had said that to you last night. You feel a smile slightly lift your features, and you squeeze Joseph's hand. "Thank you, Joseph. Really." You give him one last hug, and as he stands up, you say softly, "I love you guys." Joseph smiles widely, almost looking teary-eyed, and he leaves the room after one last wave goodbye.

You're alone again. You turn onto your side, wincing as you shift your leg, and you think about the three people you lost on this journey. Your eyes are dry but your mind is screaming. The only thing that makes you feel slightly better is knowing that Polnareff is alright, and that you'll be able to tell him you love him soon. Finally.

The next morning, you're greeted by a couple nurses. They tell you you seem much better, and that you can try to get out of bed. With their help, you swing your legs over the side of the bed and shakily stand up. Apparently you're a lot better than they'd expected, which makes you very happy, so you're sent on your way with some crutches and a cast around your arm.

The first thing you do is walk, with some difficulty, to Polnareff's room. You peek your head inside and find that it's empty, save for him lying on the bed in the middle of the room. You make your way in as quietly as you can - it looks like he's sleeping - and you sit down in a chair next to his bed.

You want to wake him up and tell him you love him right now. All you want is to throw your arms around him, to kiss him and hold him and make some shitty joke that sends you both into a fit of giggles - but he looks so peaceful. You can't.

You reach out and brush his hair out of his face; it's not in its usual, inexplicable style, and instead it gently frames his face and falls down to his shoulders. You've never really given his appearance much mind, now that you think about it. You've been so focused on the way you feel around him and the way he makes you laugh. But looking at him now, totally serene, he's actually handsome.

You take his hand and hold it loosely. You watch him for a while and then look at the clock, which reads 8 AM. It's pretty early, so you're not surprised he's still sleeping. You sit for even longer, thinking about how lucky you are that he lived. Going up against Dio alone was suicide, you both knew it, but he still forced himself to try. He's almost stupidly brave, and you can even love him for that - even though he scared the shit out of you.

You glance at the clock again, and when you look back, Polnareff is awake and looking at you with a drowsy smile and half-lidded eyes. "Good morning," he murmurs, looking down at your hand wrapped around his. "How are you doing?"

"I love you," you blurt out, and this shocks Polnareff into full alertness. He sits up and stares at you, and you stare right back. You hadn't really meant to do that. "Jean, I think I've loved you for a long time. You do so much for me and you always make me feel so - so much and I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm just so fucking happy that you're okay." You take a deep breath and watch him; he's oddly unresponsive. You frown and start to tell him to answer you, damnit, when suddenly he leans forward and sweeps you into his arms.

He kisses you with an extreme fervor, which is something you've never really felt before. It's almost as if there's an urgency to it, like he needs you to know now how passionately he feels for you - and it's working. You kiss back, wrapping your arms around him but being careful to avoid any bandages. His teeth brush against your bottom lip and you nearly shiver. He smiles a little teasingly against you when he feels it, and you're about to push him back and yell at him when he presses his body flush against yours. He moves from your lips and kisses your jaw sweetly, letting his lips linger before moving down to the top of your neck. You sigh, leaning even further into him, and he peppers kisses down your neck before finally pulling away.

It's not really "away," though - you're practically laying on him. "Are you comfortable...?" you ask, really not sure of what to say, and he laughs loudly.

"I love you too, (Y/N). So much. Ever since I met you I knew I liked you, and I've grown to need you. You're an angel, (Y/N), mon amour. Please stay with me." He kisses you one more time, and when you part you nod your head a little clumsily.

"I thought we already agreed on that," you say, smiling, and Polnareff nods. "But I'll doubly promise that we're staying together."

Polnareff's face is bright red, and you're sure yours is too. You place your hand over his. "So how are you? Did they fix you up?"

"Yeah, and you're never gonna believe this." He picks up his other hand and all but shoves it in your face, and you gasp. He's got two prosthetic fingers; they're shiny and metallic, and they stutter a bit as he moves them. "They're not perfect yet, obviously, but we're getting there."

"Jesus, Polnareff, I..." He had taken that hit for you. A pang of guilt enters your mind, but soon it disappears and is replaced by unbelieveable gratefulness. "I love you so much." You wrap him up in a hug, and he hugs you back, a little startled.

"I love you too," he says, rubbing circles into your back. "You know... A month ago or so, I wanted to start calling you 'mon amour.' I wasn't sure if you knew what it meant, though, so I didn't want to risk giving anything away."

You look up at Polnareff and snort. "I know what 'mon amour' means, you dumbass," you tell him, laughing. He laughs too, and you both sit there, giggling in each other's arms. This is exactly what you've wanted for the past month, and what you want for the rest of your life, and it's finally yours.

A couple days later, you all arrive at the airport. Jotaro has healed up well, and he' retold the story of his battle with Dio to you. You're so thankful for everything he did, and you make sure he knows that. He's like family to you now.

"You all have everything?" Joseph asks, checking his own bag for the hundredth time.

"Yes. How many times do we have to say it?" Jotaro mutters from beside him.

Joseph sighs and relents, zipping his luggage back up. "You're right." He looks at Jotaro and then you and Polnareff, who are facing the two of them. "You're all ready?"

"Yeah. I'm really excited to meet Holly," you say with a wide smile. "She sounds amazing from what you've both told me."

"Yeah, she's pretty great." It almost sounds like Jotaro doesn't mean it, but it's clear from his small smile that he does. He obviously loves her a lot. "I'm sure she'll love you guys."

"I hope so." As he speaks, Polnareff takes your hand in his. "Well, we don't want to miss the flight."

The four of you board your plane and make your ways to your seats. Everyone save for you has a bit of a difficult time, seeing as they're impossibly tall and ridiculously buff, but it's all figured out soon enough and you're on your way.

You take the window seat, and Polnareff sits next to you. Joseph and Jotaro are on the other side of the aisle from you two. You lean your head against the window and sigh, shutting your eyes. You don't really care for plane rides, so you figure you should try to sleep.

One by one, the moments flash by. Avdol's body simply ceasing to exist, and the dull thud of his arms as they hit the ground. Iggy's howls of pain as Vanilla Ice kicked him again and again and again. You hadn't seen Kakyoin's death so your mind kindly fills in the blanks for you - you see him lying motionless on the roof of a building in Cairo, completely drenched in blood. Dio stands over him and laughs and laughs, and he looks at you and laughs harder.

Your eyes snap open and you gasp, shooting up in your seat. "Shit, (Y/N) - are you -" Polnareff is cut off by you hugging him tightly, pressing your face into his shoulder. "...Did you have a nightmare?" he asks softly.

You feel like a child but there's really no other way to put it. "Yeah," you answer, your voice muffled. "It was - well, you can figure what."

"Yeah." You can feel yourself shaking. You hadn't realized that your feelings of dread and anxiety, from all the way back on the night before you fought Dio, would follow you out of Egypt. "Mon amour..." Polnareff kisses the top of your head, and you nearly start to cry - you're so fucking sick of crying. "I've been going through the same thing. I'm sure we all are." You force yourself to let go of Polnareff, and you look up at him with teary eyes. "We'll all be able to help each other in Japan, even if it's only for a few days. Someday these feelings will subside and we'll be left with all the great memories we made with them."

Polnareff looks melancholy, which isn't an expression you often see him wear. You're sure he must miss everyone just as badly as you do, and Joseph, and Jotaro. It's a unique thing, to share this struggle with three wonderful people, and you feel lucky you have them to support you - and to support. You want to help them as best as you can, though you're still not great at talking through emotions. As you lean your head back and think about how you'll try to open up a bit more, Polnareff speaks. "I'm really excited to get to Japan," he says eagerly with a smile on his face. "Do you think there’ll be any sushi places around? I've never had it."

You gape at him. "What's the deal with you? Music, iced coffee, and now this?" You laugh. "When we get a place in New York, we're gonna get sushi and listen to all my favorite albums, okay?" He nods, grinning. "Well, my favorites and some historic ones. I'll try not to be too biased."

"I'm sure you'll only choose the best," he tells you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "I trust you."

You lean against his side, unable to stop smiling. You've don't think you've ever been this happy. You feel like laughing and crying all at once. As Polnareff pulls you closer to him and starts to hum - it's whatever he'd been singing in the shower a few days ago - you shut your eyes and take in this feeling of utmost contentment. You're a little afraid of what the future holds, in coping and learning how to live after this experience, but you're confident you'll get through it with your new little family by your side. You'll all be together for the rest of your lives.