#like my whole body is sore today bc for the past 2 days I’ve just been PACING

[ardentpoop]

I don’t think im cut out to be a Real Author for several (self-deprecating) reasons, but chief among them is that I WOULD be the type to have a nervous breakdown looking at my goodreads reviews every 2 seconds. which would probably make me fucking insufferable to be around

[gore-hovnd]

Don’t Breathe: Part Two

As per request of @hydra-trash-spot

Warning For: Toxic/Controlling Relationship, Emotional/Physical Abuse

(Also, side note, I’m literally incapable of proofreading unless things are in post format so please excuse my typos pff)

(Side Note pt 2, electric boogaloo; I edited it and now it’s not as BAD. Idk if this is gonna retag but if it does I’m SORRY, bc I’m awful and I’ve been fixing the formatting smh)

Sweat droplets rolled between his shoulders in a way that made his skin crawl as he shifted in his seat. Staring blankly at the paperwork in his hand, Jack began to read the paragraph at the top of the page for the fifth time. 

Of course there was maintenance happening on the building’s AC unit, of course today was the hottest day of the week, and of course Brock felt the need fuck him over in more ways than one by not letting him call off work for that day. When he looked at it from Brock’s standpoint as a commander, Jack understood why. The STRIKE team had an urgent mission come up, they would be leaving for it in three days, and they needed everyone to be ready. But when he looked at it from Brock’s standpoint as his boyfriend, Jack knew it was just Brock being the biggest dick imaginable at that point. It hadn’t been enough to drag him around the house in a dog collar that left dark, saturated bruises in its wake and made speaking a chore. It wasn’t enough to humiliate him by claiming that the bruising across Jack’s nose and beneath is eyes was from him coming into unfortunate contact with the shower rod the night before. And it wasn’t enough to make Jack come to work in a heavy jacket, zipped all the way up, in ninety degree weather to hide the bruises over his throat. Because nothing was ever enough and despite trying to stay out of Brock’s line of sight all day, Jack knew he’d always be Brock’s primary target.

“I need you to pick up training with Cap today.” Brock stated plainly while JAck shared a lunch that only one of them ate. 

Jack recoiled, looking up from the slowly cooling chicken pasta in front of him. He’d only gotten three bites in before he decided that it hurt too much to swallow. 

“Why?” Jack grumbled, his voice low and weak from both the abuse to his vocal cords as well as disuse. He hadn’t said a word to Brock all day, the anger in him once again rising, bashing against the cage of his resolve like a wild beast trying to break free. 

“‘Cause Pierce called me about havin’ another meeting this morning. I don’t got a choice here, Jackie, I already told the big guy you’d be there.” Brock explained as he scrolled through his emails at his computer. 

“Why not jus’ fuckn’ reschedule.” Jack grumbled under his breath, rising from his seat and throwing his lunch into the bin by Brock’s desk with more force than necessary. The combination of the action and his attitude had Brock looking up from his work, staring at Jack with an irritated look despite the upward turn of his lip. 

“What was that, mouth?” He asked and Jack hesitated for a second. He could challenge it, could try to put Brock in his place, but the lingering threat of the previous night’s events bred an unfamiliar fear in his chest and he pulled his gaze away. 

“Nothin’.” He mumbled, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets before making his escape. 

***

Jack sat in the gym for twenty minutes waiting for Steve. 

And in that twenty minutes he contemplated what the hell had just happened. He’d never been afraid of Brock before. Upset? Yes. Wary? Of course. Angry? Abso-fucking-lutely, but afraid? Never. And whatever was causing that fear to fester in his chest was making him sick. 

The doors to the gym opened and Jack broke from his thoughts, staring up to meet the bright, happy smile on Steve’s face that oh-so-awfully contrasted from his own bitter mood in a way that was borderline annoying. 

“Been a while,” Steve chuckled, offering his hand to help Jack get up from his place on the floor. He took it, pulling himself up and suppressing a hiss of pain as his body ached. That brief tumble down the stairs last night must’ve taken more out of him that he originally thought. 

As the two of them readied themselves; stretching, wrapping their hands, and ultimately building dread in Jack’s stomach, he couldn’t help but lose himself again. 

“Are you gonna wear that the whole time?” Steve piped up, pulling Jack back to reality for the third time in the past hour. 

“What?” He asked, forcing his shoulder to stretch despite the strain of his muscle. 

“That jacket.” Steve elaborated, gesturing at him to emphasize. 

Jack glanced down at it, somehow momentarily forgetting he had it on, before shrugging with a nod. 

“Yeah.” 

That was all he chose to say before the two of them stepped into the ring. There he stood: in a jacket, white basketball shorts, and black athletic ankle supports, staring at Steve who wore something similar, just with a tank top instead. 

The two of them sparred for a bit and from the very beginning, Jack knew it wasn’t going to end well for him. The soreness that blanketed him only seemed to get heavier the longer he tried to force his body to move. It slowed his reactions, made it impossible to keep up with the living god that was Steve Rogers. Jack didn’t think he could take goddamn Captain America down even on a good day so trying to on a day where all of his muscles were simultaneously on fire definitely wasn’t going to work in his favor. 

And try as he might, one particularly well timed hit to his ribs had him on the floor. When he looked at the clock, he’d found that they’d been at it for a solid forty-five minutes and Jack was almost impressed with himself. That is until Steve fussed over him like a damn mother hen. 

“Shit, Rollins are you alright?” Steve asked, dropping to his knees to seemingly try and get a closer look at Jack who, in turn, waved him off as he spit his mouthguard out onto the floor. 

“M’ fine,” Jack wheezed unconvincingly as he pushed himself up with one arm, the other wrapped securely around his chest. Steve didn’t seem convinced, deciding to go for the jacket which had Jack pulling away reflexively. 

Steve paused, staring at him for a moment before he pulled the collar of the jacket down and all Jack could do was look up to avoid seeing the concerned look on Steve’s face. He let Steve unzip the jacket and pull it from his shoulders, getting a closer look. Even the gentle grazes of Steve’s fingers over the bruises on his neck had him flinching, less from actually feeling any pain and more from expecting it. What the hell had Brock done to him? And to think, for a few delusional hours, he thought he was lucky to have that man. 

“What happened to you?” Steve asked but Jack didn’t answer, responding by shrugging the jacket back over his shoulders and forcing himself to stand despite how much his body protested. “Did someone try to kill you?” 

For a single, cursory moment, Jack paused while his brain took time to do a hard reset. The suggestion felt so ridiculous that he wasn’t sure what else to do but play along with it. So he shrugged and watched as Steve shook his head in disbelief. 

“Did you file a report?” He asked and Jack released a bitter laugh. 

“What? Hell no.” He snorted. He knew that Steve’s mind was somewhere else entirely but he couldn’t help imagining what it would be like trying to file a report against Brock. He’d be killed, likely. Pierce already hated their relationship, said it was a “conflict of interest.” Jack thought it was asinine at first but now he was beginning to think Pierce, slimy bastard that he was, was right. 

“You need to, this is important!” Steve demanded. Jack wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to react and instead just shrugged it off with a quiet ‘s’ fine.’ only to earn himself a frustrated sigh from Steve. 

“It’s not fine, it’s dangerous! You know what we do, it’s...our line of work isn’t exactly a forgiving one.” Steve huffed. ‘Tell me about it,’ Jack’s thoughts chimed as he shook his head, staring at Steve with a tired look. 

“I gotta get back to work. STRIKE team ships out in three days, be ready.” His voice was monotonous and bland as he turned to head back toward the locker rooms. That’s when Steve grabbed his arm and a rush of adrenaline tore through his body with the force of a fire hose as he turned to throw a punch that Steve quickly dodged, releasing him in the process. Jack didn’t know when he started trembling but now that he noticed, he couldn’t calm his nerves. The sad look that Steve gave him did nothing more than ignite an angry fire within him and suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the feeling that he wanted to fight again. 

“You don’t have to do this alone, I can help you.” Steve offered, taking a step forward and offering a gentle hand, only to have Jack grab hold of his wrist with an unnecessarily intense grip. 

“Ever stop to think I don’t need your fuckin’ help, Rogers?” Jack growled. “Ever stop to think I might just need your head outta’ my ass?” 

With a grimace, Jack shoved Steve back and turned without a second thought, zipping his jacket up as he retreated to lick at the wounds rubbed raw by Steve’s pity. 

***

Going through a week long mission with Steve, while simultaneously trying to hide the bruises Brock gave him, had been absolute hell. So it was understandable that all Jack wanted to do when he got home was sleep. Unfortunately for him, all Brock wanted to do was fuck. 

“I’m serious, no.” Jack growled, pushing Brock’s hand from his hip only for that same imposing hand to latch right back on. 

“Oh, c’mon, Jackie, I need you inside me.” Brock purred, licking at Jack’s throat. By then, the bruises had become a sickly yellow and were faint enough for Jack to stop wearing hoodies and jackets to hide them. The rest of his body healed accordingly and things could go back to being relatively normal, something Jack wasn’t sure if he wanted. Because Brock made him hate normal. 

“I said I don’t want to.” Jack said more firmly this time, finally managing to shove Brock back on his haunches. Pushing himself up on his elbows, Jack held Brock’s glare before his commander finally scoffed and stood up from their bed with a huff. 

“You know, you seriously make me wanna fuckin’ hit you sometimes.” Brock growled as he left the room, undoubtedly planning to sleep on the couch. He always slept on the couch when he was sick of looking at Jack, when seeing Jack made him angry. He knew this, he knew Brock got mad when he said no, knew that Brock didn’t like it when he refused anything, especially sex, and knew that Brock wanted to hurt him because of it. But Brock had never actually said it aloud before. And for whatever reason, actually hearing it was unsettling. 

He didn’t sleep well that night and when he woke up the next morning, he found that Brock had seemingly dropped the entire thing. He was bad about that, about ignoring any sort of argument they had, but Jack didn’t really have any other choice but to deal with it. 

Over time, Brock got worse. Just as he always had. After a while his threats stopped being threats and he stopped warning Jack all together. Sometimes Jack could anticipate it but most of the time, it felt entirely random. Brock would smack him in the back of his head, shove him around, punch him, even, if he was in a particularly bad mood. And Jack was at a loss. 

There was a war waged in Jack’s mind, his emotions tumbling between hating Brock and adoring him. Brock was a terrible man; he was violent and volatile and fear had become a familiar friend to Jack in the months that had passed since the choke chain incident. But every few days, he would be gentle and kind and he’d make Jack feel like nothing short of a god. And for those few, fleeting hours, Jack was on cloud nine. 

But the good times never seem to last and eventually he was sick of making up excuses to stay. 

“Come on, Jack, yer gonna leave over that? Over a love tap?” Brock growled as he followed Jack through their home. 

“Does it matter?” Jack grumbled, shoving some of his clothes into an old backpack. “I’m a grown man, I can leave if I want to.” 

This response, however, wasn’t good enough. Brock’s hand was almost instantly around his arm and Jack recoiled, throwing his elbow back and landing a hit across Brock’s mouth, effectively bloodying his lip. 

“Sonuva-” Brock barked, staggering back when Jack landed another hit on his face. Spitting a mixture of blood and spit out onto the dark carpet, Brock wiped a hand across his chin before glaring at Jack, who was frozen. Multiple thoughts raced through his mind in that moment and somehow he was both proud of and angry with himself. But both of those were overshadowed by the terror that crashed through him like a startling rush of electricity when Brock advanced on him. 

The two of them fumbled around for awhile, battering and bruising each other until eventually, Brock got his hands around the back of Jack’s head pulled, bringing his knee up to collide with Jack’s nose. 

A sickening crunch filled the air and the two of them paused as Jack covered his face, panting while he tried to gather himself. Sitting down on their bed, leaving a bloody handprint on their white comforter, Jack tried to sniff but he couldn’t. Blood dripped down his mouth the same way it had months prior when Brock had pulled him off of the couch and all he could do was wonder to himself why he was stupid enough to stay so long. 

“Let’s go.” Brock growled under his breath, taking hold of Jack’s bicep and forcing him to stand like he was a child. Jack shrugged him off, even going so far as to shove him away, before the two of them trudged out to their car. 

The ride to the hospital was silent and when they got there, Jack refused to explain how it happened. It wasn’t that he was trying to protect Brock, he was just so exhausted… He didn’t have the energy to make up excuses or answer any questions. 

Luckily, it only took fifteen minutes for a doctor to be made available for him. Unluckily, Brock followed him back into the room. And as if his broken nose wasn’t punishment enough, Brock continued to berate him. 

“You jus’ dunno when to quit do you?” Brock growled, his arms crossed over his chest. His lip was swollen, the gash that ran through it shining angry and red. Drops of blood stained the collar of his grey shirt and in that moment the two of them stared at each other with equally intense looks of pure hatred. 

“What?” Jack snapped, trying desperately to convince himself that Brock wasn’t worth a trip to prison. 

“You don’t know how to fuckin’ quit, Jack! You always do this! You piss me off, then gimme that pissy little look when I get mad! This shit wouldn’t happen if you didn’t get me so fucking riled up!” Brock barked and all Jack could do was laugh incredulously, disbelief filling him as he stared Brock in the eye. 

“No, this shit wouldn’t happen if you weren’t such a fucking psychopath.” Jack hissed and just like that, Brock was on him again. First, there was a knee to his ribs, then a fist under his jaw, but Jack wasn’t going to lay down and let Brock beat on him anymore. He’d finally decided that everything Brock did to him was complete and utter bullshit. It wasn’t warranted and he wasn’t ungrateful when he got upset about it. And for the love of God, he didn’t fucking deserve it.

So he fought back. He kicked and he growled and he fought with everything he had. Landed a few good hits too. At some point, the doctor must’ve come in to the two of them fighting and called security. They pried Brock off of Jack, his eye swollen shut and his lip re-busted-open. Jack grimaced, wanting nothing more than to pounce on him while he was restrained. But the security guards were too quick to get him out of the room.

The doctor didn’t ask Jack any questions, simply got him cleaned up, reset his nose, and offered him a phone to call someone. Jack accepted the offer with a grateful, albeit quiet, ‘thank you.’ And he sat for an hour contemplating whether or not he should do what he wanted to do. He didn’t really have much of a choice, though, did he?

“Hello?” Answered Steve’s familiar voice over the other line. 

“If I ask you to come pick me up from the hospital will you promise not to ask questions?” Jack asked. He never was good at easing into a conversation. 

“The hospital? What happened? Are you hurt?” Steve immediately started and all Jack could do was sigh and weigh what options he would have if he decided to hang up. 

“Steve, please.” He begged quietly. He wasn’t proud of the pleading tone in his voice but he couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t hide it. Not anymore.

Steve didn’t say anything for a long time. The quiet that fell over them was the kind that was deafening and suffocating at the same time and he wanted nothing more than to scream just to fill the space. But before he could, Steve started talking again. 

“I’ll be there.” He said softly. 

And he was. In twenty minutes, Steve was at the hospital and the second he saw Jack, it looked like his entire world had been crushed. An odd look of knowing crossed his face as he flicked his head and without a second thought, Jack followed.

After another wordless car ride, Jack found himself in a new place. The unfamiliar space of Steve’s apartment left him feeling vulnerable and exposed, like a rabbit in a field of rabid dogs. But Steve’s gentle hand guided him and it sickened him that his mind was already waiting for that softness to be replaced with anger and pain. But nothing happened and Jack scolded himself for thinking something would. 

They sat on the couch with the same silence that had hovered over them on the phone weighing tension on their shoulders and Jack once again felt the urge to make noise so it wouldn’t feel so heavy on his chest. But just as before, Steve came to the rescue to fill the silence before Jack had to. 

“I guess this is how Bucky always felt when he saw me all beat up.” Steve tried to chuckle and Jack couldn’t help the little snort that left him. 

“Guess so.” Jack grunted in response, sighing as he refused to meet Steve’s eye. It was then that an arm slowly wrapped around him and with cautious curiosity, Jack let it happen, willing himself not to flinch. He half expected other advances to be made but nothing ever came, and he liked it that way. 

Steve turned the T.V. on and for a while, Jack zoned out while late night sitcoms flashed on screen with mediocre, cheesy jokes filling the quiet with a comfortable drone. And eventually, as Jack grew too tired to ignore the exhaustion any longer, he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder and found a relieving sense of peace when Steve leaned on him too. 

And for the first time since he’d met Brock fucking Rumlow, he felt safe.

[aliceinhabsland]

week 27: so for the past two days I've been having a sore pelvic area; it hurts when I walk/move/lift my legs now, sometimes a lot

my next appointment is a week from today, so I googled if this is normal. and apparently it is but there's no solution to it except (like for everything else) to wait til after childbirth for your body to chill. 🙄 ☹️ my sister says she had it too, and her doctor gave her a kind of girdle to wear. It seems kind of extra, but we'll see how it goes. I'm so used to having the 'oh, I'll just walk it off' mentality, am reluctant to ask for stuff. Esp since I've been fortunate enough to never need anything more than a bandaid or Advil or soup for any ailment my whole life.

So there's no way I was putting dinner together, not tonight. Skip the Dishes has suspended delivery for the time being, (even though the snow has stopped 🙄) so Hatter volunteered to run out and get whatever I wanted. I feel kinda guilty/piggish but I ordered 2 burgers + side bc I know one won't do, it'll be the first time (if I actually manage to eat both) that I've eaten more than 1 serving since this started. Everywhere says that I'm supposed to be ravenous during the second trimester but I've had less appetite than ever, for the most part. 🤷 still, I don't like looking in the full-length mirror.

Went window-shopping / on a research field trip yesterday with my sister, to BabysRUs. I'm so glad I did...have done a ton of research online on cribs/strollers/car seats, but it was really good to actually touch/feel/see the sizes of everything and to get a better idea of what the difference is between a jogger stroller and the usual 4-wheel ones, what's so great about a ~travel system~, and it was really nice to have a live person right there to ask questions of. All of the strollers seemed big to me after you fold them (srsly I had alarm bells thinking about how we could possibly fit any stroller *and* 2 weeks worth of groceries in the trunk at the same time) but my sister said that's normal. 🤷

We live in a one-br apartment and while it's not cramped, I figured with a crib our bedroom would be. Was pleasantly surprised to find that a standard crib isn't as huge as I had been thinking, when I only saw them online (even though I'd read the measurements). Was a bit bummed to find though, that most of the things I thought were standard (side railings that are adjustable/removable, or wheels on the legs) have been banned now bc of safety reasons. 😐

I've thought for the longest time that those tiny rocking bassinet / Moses cradle type baskets are the most adorable things 😍 (impractical and absurdly expensive for something that isn't used for very long... but so! cute!) ... but the store didn't have any 😔 probably a good thing.

It's Reading Week this week so no classes; 2 midterms next week. Haven't really started prepping for those 😶 but mean to get on that in the next couple of days.

I love the snow ❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

[flamestoflight]

7/12/18

4:54pm

Feeling better thank god. I’ve been sick as a dog since Sunday; yesterday I woke up and I legitimately could not extend my neck at all because my lymph nodes were so swollen I thought they would just explode. The worst of it was a sore throat to the point where I hardly drank any water for two days because it hurt that bad to swallow. I peed legitimate orange for 2 days. And the body aches were terrible as well. I went to student health yesterday and they gave me penicillin (even though my strep test was negative) and I’ve been taking Tylenol and today I felt like a human which has been so great.

....and has meant that I’ve finally been able to get some work done?? I have literally done NO studying this week because every break we had I came home and slept, and after night class I would fall asleep on top of my bed and sleep through the whole night. But not today; I actually just finished typing up the third ortho lecture from this week, and I was able to pay attention in lab today and actually learn special tests/mobs so I don’t have to go back and re-re-learn them this weekend.

We got out of class a bit early this afternoon (4 instead of 5), and we don’t have a quiz in our night class so I start at 6 instead of 5:45. So I came home, ate some vegetables (also been avoiding those the past several days because of pain lolol), and finished up some notes. Think I’ll take the next 30 minutes and shower, clean my bathroom/room/kitchen, and get myself set up for tonight before heading back to class.

Tomorrow we have class from 8:30-11:30 and that’s it, and we have our third to last lecture before the final...and then exams start Tuesday. So this weekend is the weekend to get my shit together and learn the shoulder lmao. I’m so fcking thankful that I am feeling better though bc I honestly don’t know how I’dve made it through exams feeling like I did before.

[songofsaraneth]

WHEPHEW what a busy weekend. journal-blogging it up bc it was a Good one and i wanna remember it

friday after work started with the birthday party for the town multicultural center!! one of my housemates plays in a marching/brass band and they performed at it, everyone drank free margaritas and had chips/salsa/cupcakes, and then we tried to play a pretty unsucessful game of 4-square with some children and made me realize what a difference height makes in that sport (we had to play in like, Ultra Squat position to be on the same level as the kids, so basically Leg Day).

friday night was ALSO the first Bike Party of the year, where everyone puts on costumes for that month’s theme (this one was “safari”), meet up behind the bike shop and the guy with the solar powered speakers on a bike trailer starts playing a bunch of music, and then we bike up and down main st and wave to the tourists and then have a roving dance party around town. usually in the culverts below the roads, under the highway bridge north of town, or along the bike path past the campgrounds (sometimes picking up extra people from the campsites who feel like partyin). generally you get to an area, dance for 30-45minutes, then bike to the next, dance more, etc. VERY EXERCISE I always forget how tiring it is ;_; but this is the last time it’ll be on a friday for a while cause Tourist Season, so it’s probably the last one me and all my housemates could get to together. we wore our matching zebra onesies (that we got for our blanket fort house party back in february) and there were two other zebras also in attendance. another friend dressed up as “the jungle” and i’m jealous I didn’t think of that first. it was VERY COLD THOUGH like FUCK it snowed for twenty whole minutes in the morning. luckily the onesie is  pretty warm. but we didn’t bike home till about midnight and i was So Sore the next day

saturday!! i was lazy and slept forever which was Excellent and then in the afternoon, met up with another mermaid visiting from Salt Lake with her family! i met up with her at her hotel and we swam in the pool for like 40 minutes before Noping out because it was cold and just sitting in the hot tub to chat instead lol. it was fun though! i’ve never met up with another mermaid for swimming before (the other time i tried we were rained out, but went to the aquarium instead, which was also super awesome) so that was neat! she had a Kariel sequin tail, which i’ve never seen up close before (40,000 sequins!!!!!), so that was cool. 

after that i went to a friends bday party! which started out totally normal (chatting, lots of food, his dad was in town so talked to him a bit), then did a pinata (did u know adults trying to smack a pinata is even more hilarious than than when children do it), then chatted a bit more and at like 10pm people started dancin. except three dudes were sort of alternating selecting songs were like, trying to make the styles as opposing as possible (hardcore rap followed by slow lyrical ballad followed by bouncy disney) and it became kind of a competition to... keep dancing anyway??? no matter how weird the songs got?? culminating in a swaying Hug Circle to My Heart Will Go On, squiggling amoeba-like through the living room and kitchen to envelop Music Selection Dude #2 Who Hated That Song but was standing by the computer and we were worried he was gonna change it, and then everyone just... slowly grabbed his body and held it horizontally, then lifted him into the air and slowly spun him in circles just below the ceiling before gently lowering him onto the floor (where he remained perfectly motionless) and doing synchronized hand waving over his body. IT GOT REALLY WEIRD. but no one questioned it everyone was perfectly silent or singing along to the lyrics until the song ended. what the fuck. i haven’t been part of something That bizarre since college (tho to be fair, there were a Lot of those moments in college). anyway party lasted until a bit after midnight.

TODAY SUNDAY!! at 9am met up with folks to go WHITE WATER RAFTING! it was the going away party for a friend, so we got a bunch of gear together/a pal’s free boat rental for working at a river company, and some personal boats, so 3 boats and about 12 people. second time ive been on the river this season, the first was february and Very cold/total splash guards against the water, but today was the first decent day this week! about 50-60F all day, though the water was a lot colder (although what the fuck is going ON this is the DESERT we should be like in the 70-80s range this time of year). everything went great at first, the rapids were easy, we rafted for a couple hours and then docked at a winery with a helpful pier, and jumped inside for buffet lunch and optional wine tasting. which like, WHAT an excellent concept, i hear they’re doing brunches soon, and whitewater rafting into/out of a fancy brunch seems IDEAL tbh.

...buuuuut we got to the first rapid after the winery/last rapid we were gonna hit of the day and just. totally flipped. we lost back left paddler (who took a drink of wine from his beer can like RIGHT as we went into the rapid smh) almost immediately, and i turned to see what happened to him (i was back right), and noticed that our captain/acting guide was just ALSO GONE??? I still don’t know HOW he fell out i guess he just catapulted on the first big wave... everyone (sans myself) was pretty drunk and at high water level (~15,000cfs) you can go straight through (or, RDTFM, aka “right down the fucking middle”, thats ur whitewater lingo for the day), but it was only at like ~8000cfs today so instead there was just... a rock. so chuck (acting captain) pops up a second later and manages to grab the boat, i haul him in, turn around to see charlie (back left paddle) somehow on the other side of our raft now floating the rapid, and two of the front paddlers trying unsuccessfully to reach him.

 then i look forward and OH GOD there is ANOTHER huge dip in front of us leading to aforementioned rock, and I sort of leapt to the left side/charlie’s spot to try to paddle off it, but no one was paying enough attention to coordinate and so we slammed it and the boat went riiiiiiight over. like, the most dramatic long-ways flip i’ve ever seen, threw/shoved us all down into the water. mostly i was thinking “OH FUCK” but also “SHOULDN’T HAVE BOTHERED PULL CHUCK BACK IN”, was under for maybe 5 seconds total, then popped up right behind the raft. pretty much everyone managed to hold onto the tie line and somehow i guess we also landed on charlie again so he had a hold as well. until we hit the next rock anyway, which popped the boat up for a second/swept me underwater and under the boat, and i ended up hand-over-handing it out onto the front side. which was easier for visibility/expectations but also i could see 10 feet in front of me that my backpack had come unsecured and was floating down the river without me, holding my phone (thankfully in a lifeproof/very waterproof case bc i’m not a Fool who takes electronics on rafting trips with no backup) and driver’s license and glasses hostage. and like 80% of me was ready to dive after it but while i’m an idiot i’m not That much of an idiot so i held onto the boat instead and watched it get farther and farther off. the first of our boats that went through (a  dinghy with two passengers) was waiting for us downstream and seemed like they were gonna get it, but then one of our people got swept way downstream so they were on mission Rescue Susan instead. but anyway after a very charged minute or so that felt more like ten, we managed to kick ourselves into an eddy and get over to the shore. 

at which point i became very confused bc our group now had 3 more people in it than were in our boat??? which is when i realized that our third boat, whcih had been behind us, had also capsized and dunked all passengers. but theirs was still trapped in the current (for like 5 whole minutes just bouncing on top of the first big rapid) so they all swam sans gear to where we ended up. anyway i sloshed to a nearby beach where some concerned rafters were watching (turned out to be our #3 boat guide’s coworkers, who’s company we were renting gear from, whoops), and over a ridge, and saw that boat #1 had sucessfully reclaimed susan, and a kind kayaker had saved both my backpack and one of our paddles. we dried off for a bit and checked everything over miraculously, the only casualties were some hats and sunglasses, one item per every person who flipped. the river gods were kind in their choice of sacrifices today. then we boated the last mile out and lay in the sand warming up until our car shuttle finished, and my friend who’s bday party i went to the night before & his gf & dad boated up RIGHT after us (they were also all at the multicultural center event friday) and laughed at us for having flipped. ah tiny desert towns. you see Everyone everywhere all the time. and i’ll see them again on wednesday for D&D so more mockery inbound.

anyway i got home and me n my roommate (also on the trip) took some VERY long/hot showers, drank some hot chocolate, and then watched cop drama tv shows in bed under the covers for 2 hours before ordering takeout soup and laying in bed some more. now i am laying in bed and about to go to sleep bc i’m exhausted but apparently still enough of an insomniac to never go to bed before midnight.

[yung-cringe-blog]

Where Your Acne Is And What It Looks Like Can Tell You What’s Causing It

Thus checking out your problem areas could give you I was there to become a certified open water diver, a classification that should allow me to scuba dive in the world's most fascinating waters. We watched a video titled Risk awareness for scuba diving and went over basics from the first chapters of our textbook, Open Water Diver, similar to how to select and use our equipment and how being underwater affects our bodies. Know what, I really enjoyed reading everyones posts and the Chinese Face Mapping. So here is a question. Any advice on that for women my age?

I am sure it's hormonal and bacterial gether and that is why it's so a problem to shed. I have considered getting on birth control to if you're at this point after that, don't sweat it. Merry christmas and happy holidays my Love Vitamins! Christmas present for yourself? I'm having a holiday sale on my Naturally Clear Skin Academy. Online. January 3rd! Usually. In the initial stage they dint hurt but nearly any time I think they are bout to disappear, others come under the skin and have now began to hurt a little. Anyways, Been attempting to zone in on what could have been the cause but not quite sure. A well-known fact that is. Am on the coil and I donno if thats not working anymore.

So figured out that sugars and oily food stuffs also cause them from time to time.

Bout 3months ago I got this breakout that is on my forehead.

I really don't understand since I have never had such kind at really similar time. Know what, I have always had pimples everytime my period is round the corner. Certainly, They pop in random spots on my face. Besides, I have also been definitely super stressed for quite a while now though wouldn't know if that is the cause. I get candida and I've been treating an oth problem with that, when I take antibiotics. Basically, When am stressed my eating goes to zero. Small under the skin rashes and they seem to not go away. Makes me a lil uneasy coz they dont seem to go away. Although, They are not whiteheads as such but they do appear that way sometimes. Need my face back. My daughter has dreadful spots along her jawline which is obviously hormonal. She is trying for a baby for 6 years and now started IVF. I'm quite sure I wonder why they don't give her Actually I am sure That's a fact, it's either diet related.

I do consume a decent quantity of sugar daily.

To be honest I wish I could cut it out and eat SUPER healthy and everythingbut I AM 14 and I have tried it, and since I don't make my own food normally it's pretty hard. I ld my Mom, who is a CPM and going on CNM, and she said she does not suspect PCOS. Keep an open mind about these things -none of them are 100percentage accurate, conclusive, or true for everyone. They're just guidelines that may or may not be accurate for your particular case of acne. Of course, I hope you find them interesting and enlightening nonetheless! Maybe it's something in the water where you are that ain't in your hometown's water? That's either irritating your skin from the outside when you wash it, or reacting internally… for sake of example, sometimes people react to fluoride thelovevitamin.com/2744/'couldfluoridebecausingyouracne'/.

Actually I never had a real issue with my skin before I moved to Australia 5 Years ago.

I went to the doctors and asked to take I actually am now 25 and I have these funny little lumps on my forhead, they never develop into sore redish lumps. It's is so frustrating cause I work in a beauty industry and I know everything about a perfect skincare regime! Ok, and now one of the most important parts. As soon as the lump has healed a brand new one forms. I have wen on similar contraceptive more than 2 years. My boyfriend asked me the other day what rash is that. It is I get them around my mouth. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... They just sit there and I only remove them I squeeze them.

Hi, To be honest I am new to this and are reading and I am excited I am not alone however my face seems worse than most posted… I have cystic acne in zones 5, 9, 11, I have never had acne before and I am in my mid 30s.

It is very painful and my face is scaring and So it's so embarrassing.

I actually am planning to start again tonight. Usually, I have oral antibiotics but they don't seem to work. By the way I know I shouldn't let something just like this get me down but it does and I am just being honest. I can't tell you what amount doctors I'm to and what amount creams and washes I have tried over the last few years. Just keep reading. Again I am not very good at taking a pill everyday.

If you don't believe me Google candida acne antibiotics or something like that and read for yourself.

Two years later I am still fighting to get normal since not only did my skin get bad but it lead to bad eyes, thyroid, liver, intestines… don't let it get that bad for yourself.

It only messes up your body. STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS LONG TERM!!! Best wishes!! Drys my skin out./ the struggle By the way I also have a bunch of blackish heads on my chin but there not bad/noticeable so they don't bother me.

My forehead is fine I rarely get pimples there, maybe the odd one every few months.

I get it badly on my checks Down wards my chin, it's like a trail.

I'm wondering if you could give me any advice. My diet is fine I eat healthy I drink coffee a fair bit but I also drink a bunch of greenish tea. The I get them under my jaw, near my chin and along down where my glands are./ I have adult eczema so my skin is constantly dry. For example, I can't go on aracutaine, It's not cystic acne. Oftentimes I'm only 19 and get similar problem. For example, Pimple cream helps with the redness but it just drys my skin out so I don't like to use it all that often. That's in different areas on my face, I actually don't like to have sugar as long as I break out. Therefore, It varies on my skin. I actually also exercise about 4 times a week for about half an hour and I try to drink 2 litres + of water daily. Since I'm still going through puberty and developing as we don't stop growing until where Salt water will attempting to fight the redundant fat, you should be exercising that could be causing your acne to get worse. I'm 34years old. Its very redish after a shower. I eat gluten free very healthy. Now please pay attention. When the skin flairsI have stomach digestion problems. Its really like that for quite a while thence will seem more normal again for awhile before it starts drying again. It is wrinkling way faster than I thought it should and is so dry looking even with coconut oil on it. Any idea where I shoukd start? Yes, that's right! For the past 6 months my face skin has gone thru stages of normal to very dry, dark red burning.

Never ever had a skin issue my whole life till 6 months ago so I'm at a loss as to where to atart.

Did you ever find anything?

The struggle I'm quite sure I am identical age, and legit have the same acne. You should take this seriously. By the way I moisturize with an equal part vaseline and honey mixture with small quantity of tea tree oil, and that seems to I'm almost sure I ok that to mean you were eating something that was causing problems in your gut, and in my case that was true. Cheeks are broken up into upper and say. This is the first map I've seen that doesn't include that. Consequently, I have seen a couple face maps that show cheeks being stomach. Time to start eating healthy, take a multivitamin, and probiotic I reckon!

The skin is merely reflecting the inflammation and damage going on inside. Social pressure or not, only one thing I have a question about is taking vitamin D with Vitamin I read that vitamin an and D don't mix well in high quantities since they counteract each other and can become xic to your body. You find this valid or should I start eating spinach and identical high sources of vitamin A, right? For the most part I've been in the process of changing my eating habits since early 2013 as in less processed and more fresh foods I dont really even eat meat except for nearly any once in a while although I do love seafood.

Hi Tracy so I finally think Ive figured out what the big problem is…and surely I have a wheat sensitivity or allergy which sucks being that I LOVE bread and most things made of or containing wheat especially sweets!

I figured it out just recently as I finally said to myself this needs to stop.

By the way I am addicted to sugar and its a habit I am working on breaking. I had been noticing that every time I ate something containing wheat that I will get a painful bump under my jaw and it was only on my left side but after that, it started to spread to my right side which was completely clear and this whole time I thought it was other factors similar to the oils from my hair or my pillow cases or even my hormones as last year I stopped taking bc and I thought that my system will just regulate its self but its a year later from so and my face is still acting up so anyways on Sunday the 9th of February, a week from today, I cut all wheat products out from my diet and guess what… I stopped getting painful lumps under my jaw and after that to test it on the 14th my bf and I went to eat Vietnamese and he had ordered egg rolls so just to see if I will get one I ate an egg roll and just as I thought I did get a couple painful lumps under my jaw line so I am pretty sure that is my problem as long as I also thought it I dont drink high sugary beverages just mainly water although I've been thinking about investing in probiotics to eliminate all that nasty wheat and regulate its self again.

Im preparing to do the hot cold compress tonight, and maybe apply some hydrocortisone to my be great, as its very painful. That's interesting. I've been on a very good diet for about a month, a little more. Im currently seeing a naturopath and have had the hair cell test done and was ld I have a range of problems, very low progesterone, liver conjested.

DIM supplements aswell for a few months. I read that when you first start taking progesterone cream it can exagerate symptoms as first. Jessica, I'm 23 years old. Known have beau's lines on both of my big toes. I went and got blood work and I am waiting for my results. I didn't take it serious. This all happened in the past 11 months, and I am now starting to notice more hair growth on my fingers, around my nipples, and side burns. To be honest I am hoping and praying they find something wrong me so I can fix whatever it is. Hi Tracey. Let me tell you something. My guess is it's either PCOS or thyroidism, maybe both. Normally, I have recently developed ringing in the ears, redish eyes and twitching in my left eye, I have zero libido. Now please pay attention. Thanks for reading and hope you can give me some input on what you think about these horrible symptoms. October, im lost for words to what's causing it. Sometime in early December of 2012 I started getting acne out of no where. Off, I started losing lots of hair, especially in the shower.

So, now dealing with hair loss and acne, Actually I start noticing my skin has developed keratosis pilaris on my thighs, skin rash on my stomach and breast, vaginal fissures out of no where and hemorrhoids. Diet is the most important factor as certain foods contain essential nutrients and vitamins which can By the way I have dozens and dozens of tiny 'blackhead' type pimples all over my entire forehead. Then again, they don't become whiteheads, A few are dark red. Like, completely covering it. Notice, about month ago, my entire face exploded. Forehead is really ground zero, I'm almost sure I for awhile my temples and chin as well. Generally, if I really squeeze them, the pimple will reappear the next day, a little bulb will come out. Can anyone suggest some good websites for teenage acne?

Seems like they will be fundamentally different. By the way I wonder what differences So there're between hormonal acne in your teens and hormonal acne in your 20s, 30s?? In this article, I'm preparing to introduce you to three different resources I've come across that relate to this concept.The first one is Chinese face mapping, the second is a chart that Fran from High on Health came up with, and the third is a chart from the acne ebook ‘Diagnose Your Acne‘. Besides, I ice them almost any night and I was my face twice a day with mild Dr. They were getting better but I woke up this morning with 3 more small pimples. Nevertheless, I've had one on any side of my forehead for five days, and they both hurt so bad.

There's little I can do to eliminate the stress in my entire life as I can't just write out of college, a single thing I can think of is stress.

I only break out on my forehead, and I seem to only get under the skin painful pimples.

Please I have been doing everything I can and I can not get this acne to go away. Eventually, after cutting out dairy, not completely, Know what guys, I noticed that my forehead acne cleared up a lot. Bronner's soap. Generally, If my skin gets dry I use coconut oil. Now pay attention please. It's really hurting my self esteem. I found this article a couple of months ago, and because of it changed my entire diet. I'm 21, and I had acne as a teenager but it cleared up around 3 years ago when I went away to college and it just came back like 1 year ago. With that said, I drink water and eat healthy, what am I doing wrong?

Thank you very much!!!

I was an avid pot smoker, and I just quit last night thanks to this chart….

I believe your blog is all about to save my life!!! Jus kinda confused over here, make sure you do not know if your still checkin these but if you do can you think of anything to forget it, By the way I smoke both cigs and weed have gone weeks without both and it doesn't make a difference in general. As a result, You can't even see them but they still bother me. Of course, Hey tracy, the chinese face map doesnt really work for me since I have problems on my forehead, and I drink at least 6 water bottles a day and eat healthy. You should take it into account. Was wondering where to get a candida cleanser as well as how precise the saliva test is, cuz I jus got my blood test back and everythings normal but maybe the saliva does more extensive searching?

No sugars barely any milk and I wash my face twice a day.

I can see you have helped so many people!

Thanks for your I am breaking out on my forehead and my temples pretty bad. Looks like now amongst beauty gurus. Have you heard of something like that before? Example. That's right! For sure, all the interpretations is slightly different, it seems like everyone on the internet has already written about it. Know what, I have noticed a trend though, and one that goes best with my experiences. Let me tell you something. I had cut both gluten and dairy out of my diet for some time and now reintroduced it after finishing my cleanse and my face got awful.

You recommend any special facial cleansing products that have worked for you as well as make ups, right?

Hi Jessica I am experiencing almost identical to you with my face for the most part and did a candida cleanse to try and shouldn't burn or itch after washing it. I'm quite sure I really like the Cetephil Daily Cleanser. Just seems like Chinese Mapping is spot on. I believe the Chinese Mapping is relevant in my situation. Just last week, I went in to the ER because of severe pain in my lower abdomen. Perhaps the acne will also go away.

Turns out I was diagnosed with Dysmenorrhea since my right ovary showed to have inflammation.

Lately I was breaking out around my mouth area.

By the way I have to get on birth control now. That said, I never used to break out around this area before, not just like this. Fact, It's just been really hard nailing down a culprit for the acne. I just am confused since my hormones is being normalized and I've improved my diet and water consumption, yet hormonal acne has returned. Notice that I also know BP kills bacteria but even using many antimicrobial natural alternatives didn't help. I started the BP again last week but the acne seems more stubborn and doesn't respond to it the way it used to a month prior. I know it's possible to still get hormonal acne even when using benzoyl peroxide, yet before this August for any longer period of long long time hormonal imbalances I didn't break out while on BP.

Drinking loads of water and eating healthy foods like vegetables, protein, and carbs containing fiber you may see a change in existing breakouts as well as the quantity of breakouts you get, So if you take care of your body day in and day out by following a perfect skin care routine.

Any idea on how to solve this problem?

Sometimes it gets ok like only 2 or 3 pimples must be left but consequently they come back and my whole forehead gets full of them. Hey, um I get acne on my forehead alot. My forehead is kinda oily but I wash it regularly. This is the case. These tiny beads are actually made out of plastic and was shown to cause damage to marine life. Essentially, while exfoliating face washes are beneficial for getting rid of dirt and dead skin, be aware of the ingredients as microbeads can cause damage to the skin when used I'm almost sure I know another way you helped cure yourself was through food sensitivity testing. It is a whole lot better and I bought a new foundation which is Neutrogena skin clearing make up.

I will try it!

It really helps!

Thank you a lot! Thank you for the good advice. So, I stopped uching and picking my face. Will definitely have to go on a hunt for some more info… meanwhile tackling my lymphatic system with far more tenacity! On p of this, everything I read says different. Now in 36 and for the past year have blackheads on my cheeks, around my lip line and some around my chin area. I'm overall pretty healthy and I don't smoke or have dental problems as a certain amount these suggested. Could my acne actually be the cause of something else? With all that said... My cheeks. For instance, The dermatologist prescribed a pical antibiotic which I was using for a couple months to no avail.

Thanks again.

I never suffered from acne as a teen.

Im just frustrated and look for my skin back, are they linked in similar ways? I was ld by numerous people that its hormonal acne. Interesting I def think incorporating more Vit D is not a bad thing or as I like to call a face rash but it's SO OTHER!! It's abeing that I lived it. Please please please STOP taking the antibiotic.

STOP THE ANTIBIOTIC IMMEDIATELY!!!!

They tell you to take to keep under control but it's a lie.

Conventional derms are WRONG. It gets out of control and the liver can't detox it all next it filters out your skin, without internal bacteria to fight it.a lot. I lived the exactly same thing that is happening to you. It for awhile being that it's a yeast overgrowth coming out your skin. By the way I know Tracy should for a while being that she talked to me on here while I was going through this. I'm seeing specialist under going test the entire nine. Although, What can you offer a woman spiraling down ward fast?

My self esteem IS BREAKING and my health condition ain't helping!!!!

Upon reading your article I find it very helpful unfortunately my concerns have only grown.

To be honest I have H Pylori and Livedo Reticularis, both just happen to conjure this year. Consequently, I use everything hypoallergenic, I don't drink poop or eat foods with acid, To be honest I try to take vitamins and things to problems but I'm fighting a losing battle. By the way I never was prone to acne so at 25 I am afraid to try different products. Ok, and now one of the most important parts. I'm beginning to be concerned however, my face and skin are out of control. Did you hear of something like this before? Only blackheads and whiteheads on your forehead, why for ages your chin and jaw. Your Tzone is pristine, why are your cheeks a mess. Now let me tell you something. Why do you have acne even if your skin was not oily whatsoever? Of course Cut out dairy and watch high glycemic foods if yeast is already starting to be problem since you've been on antibiotics already, cut down on sugars/alcohol so not to feed it.

It seems valid.

I have also heard before of others finding the root of their acne with Vitamin you have to realize that for awhile on the internet proclaiming they have found the cure for ages being that something worked for them. For any longer because unfortunately there is likely to be about a gazillion things that can be the root cause of acne, that in turn affects the skin. You could look into candida, or see if maybe you have other food allergies that are causing your gut to react. Seriously. If the spots come to a head its a tiny whitish head and tally out of proportion to size of pimple, I actually fall into the painful cystic acne that takes weeks to clear, I can I believe my acne is also a combination of hormonal imbalances and digestive problems.

I reckon I've gotten the digestive problems under control. Your observations seem pretty spot on. Online. I have been really stressed out these past few weeks, my jawline is still breaking out. Now pay attention please. This just can be accurate. Basically, I have never had cystic acne in my whole life on December 1st. Just think for a moment. Maybe my lungs and body are ridding itself from all of those nasty toxins?

I'm praying that it goes away, would make sense. Huh! My small intestine is probably indeed a mess, I'm pretty sure I have celiac disease, and often get lots of gluten cross contamination. Less carbs? Frustrating sometimes. Actually I have acne mainly on my cheeks. I actually don't eat any processed foods or refined sugars. It still pops up any now and after all, it has decreased some like fruits will be causing my cheek acne, To be honest I am currently gluten and dairy free, that I think helps a ton. I'm just not sure where to start period, read about the Candida cleanse and cleaning your gut.

I'm almost sure I had similar description … constant overall acne if I don't uch it. Oh, and I can't eat eggs much either unless they're baked in things. I did coffee enemas, and it got even better. Just keep reading! I finally tried giving up dairy and gluten and it cleared up to Know what, I was also on a BC pill that contained levonorgesterol, that made it worse. I went on Accutane and Yasmin BC pill, and my skin was perfect for years. Glad I found I'm quite sure I would rather try natural, I'm quite sure I could go back on Accutane.

I had oily, pimpleprone skin in my teens and early twenties.

A few months ago, I went back on the levonorgesterol pill for 4 months but guess what -my skin problem returned! Anyway, I look for to fix the root cause, No blemishes = no picking. Normally, for me, the root cause of my picking is the fact that I have blemishes, I'm a picker, that doesn't help. My probem hasn't gone away, I'm back on Yasmin. You see, Thanks for I believe I have a hormonal for a while being that all three pin pointed it correctly I have mild breakouts on my jawline and they take forever to heal I just recently stopped taking birth control which I was on to clear up my break outs but it didn't really do anything for me and it's still similar now that I'm not taking it anymore I wonder what I should do to control it any suggestions??

Actually I am having lots of small pimples around my mouth and they ITCH!

Could this be a sign of healing?

You suggest probiotics as well, right? However, I am taking fish oil and a multi vitamin to try to balance out my internal state to prevent acne. Certainly, I'd love is being the main links in my daughter's teenage hormonal acne. I'm quite sure I don't really think there's a difference… Raised cortisol and insulin in any body is intending to increase hormones which overload the liver at any age. Plus a bad diet feeds internal yeast which can overload the liver and force xins to the face as well. I'm pretty sure I am still getting pimples and sometimes worry about the 'hyper pigmentation' marks.

You don't use oil or anything and your face has remained clear?

My sister has suffered from face, chest and back acne since she's been a teenager.

Her back acne includes. Everything seems to align for me at this point! Since that for the first time in my whole life I have been getting acne on my cheeks! My allergies have also been going crazy with flare ups! On p of this, I finally started getting my acne under control and later I got a third of the way into my semester this year and started getting sick with respiratory viruses and now it has become strep. What can I do to prevent them? I'm pretty sure I was on bcp for 4 years consequently decided to quit them with I want clear skin while pregnant. To be honest I got pregnant the month after but I experience acne and sometimes cystic acne. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... Im new to the website and I have pcos. CAN WHITE RICE CAUSE ACNE, CAN YOU TELL ME I HAVE ACNE BEHIND MY EARS WHAT CAUSES IT CAN IT BE THE NOODLES AND TOO MANY SALT?

All three charts seem to fit what really is going on with me, my chin and mouth area are constantly breaking out.

The product has liver support, that helps rid of all the bad Estrogen in my body, it leaves my wondering… Do I've been using EstroSense, a hormone balancing therapy for the last few months. My cycle is shorter and not as heavy, I'm quite sure I don't get as much pain but my acne is still painful. Notice that I am not seeing any results as far as clearing up my skin goes. Sometimes we need to seek professional are exhausted.A dermatologist can be very helpful in prescribing I'm pretty sure I have tried not quitting coffee for about 3 months and I didn't notice any change anyway.

For a while enough time to notice any change, right?

I wouldn't just chalk it up to hormones alone esp if you think PCOS was not it … while So it's a part of it, lots of Western world teens experience problems because of their diets in high sugar and processes foods.

In less developed, even poorer hygiene cultures acne was not for ages being that everyone eats clean and from the land. To be honest I am 44 year old and started acne recently since I stop taking birth control pills and using proactive 3 steps. Hopefully I will see results soon. I am reading any and nearly any post on your web site. Yes my acne does match up with the description. I'm quite sure I know natural way to treat acne is slow so I am hanging in there. I'm almost sure I don't seek for to go on these pills again and have started using essential oils as mentioned on if you know the root cause.

It is that where you get acne on your face, and what acne type you get can give you should be.

I have NO other symptoms anyway.

Its almost all on my forehead. Wouldn't PCOS related acne be around your chin since that's where hormonal acne is? You see, I'm reading up on PCOS, and I highly doubt that is what's wrong. With that said. Well Know what, I hardly EVER have acne around those areas. Eventually, Thank you Tracie. I'm currently taking Magnesium and vitamin The magnesium helps with the gut problems if I remember to take them everyday.

Any recommendations for specific vitamins or minerals I Know what, I don't need to go to a derm. Know what guys, I had cleared my acne up completely with Tamanu oil. Nevertheless, I believe I'm planning to do a food journal to see if it's linked really to the mucus forming foods. Doesn't it sound familiar? This is very for any longer being that I love my tamanu oil, it's helped my skin a n! Considering the above said. My right cheek broke out lately with cysts. To be honest I have like 3! Hey! Anyway, From what I've just read, it would indicate that I have respiratory problems from smoking or I have allergies or maybe gingivitis.

Hey so I have plenty of breakouts that happen on my cheeks.

Both upper and the lower part.

Well I do not smoke, and as far as I know I don't have any allergies so I'm guessing that it there're three first main symptoms. Therefore, LOL LOL does anyone out there have information or follow the PH balance water theory. Plus I was reading about drinking PH balanced water lately. Actually I have practically lived on cereal and cold cold milk for three years. Part of the temperature thing with my skin. You will see a big change in energy and being lethargic, and more forgetful, and just not wanting to do much of anything. I have. Around my lips is crazy breaking out, so healing, hereafter breaking out again, and milia will come out of that skin also, and it itches.

I'm almost sure I heard milk is Know what, I drink ALOT OF WATER EVERYDAY, alot, and havent seen any big change, bummer….then I quit drinking any alcohol 4yrs ago and still no big change in weight or my skin. To be honest I will certainly take a stronger look at my diet. Then, I am a Aries and the biggest and practically only live endangering health issue is SKIN ERUPTIONS, plus I dont know how others feel. What possibilities gonna be my problems. Now look. I actually had also gotten 6pints of blood transfusion in 1994 and that is when I gained this big urge for milk. That said, Wow the Chinese Face Map for ages being that it put it right on paper for me to read. You should take this seriously. Double bummer huh??? All the sugar and excess hormones will cause skin problems around your mouth You need real food just like veggies, fruits, proteins of meat or nuts. I'm sure you heard about this.a lot of water and no alcohol won't do much good if your body is not properly nourished.

It's not on the ears. Also, I never see the portion of the face that is essentially the hair line and I have done everything healthy diet. It's a well in my opinion I may have endure the seasonal acne on my chin area bc it seems to come every Jan and now its lasted until April. The only thing I can think of is diet -other than what you mentioned.

Teenage years can be a challenge hormonally for some or evn many.

Surely it's EVERYWHERE. Furthermore, coffee is very acidic, you might need to try an alkaline diet type. She has good insights on hormonal problems. Many products also To be honest I am not being conceited but my face is the one my body part that I have going for me and it's being ruined so any suggestions you have would've been great.

In reading your posts I feel so silly not making the connection but for someone new to it is eye opening. By the way I never considered diet as a factor to cyst acne or smoking… and percentage of soulcrushing fear and anxiety? You essentially have an acne phobia, and I have the answer to treating it. December 2016 New on the blog! Since therefore I have been breaking out I actually wanna try smoking again but I know I shouldn't, idk what to doooo someone Know what guys, I started smoking weed when I was about I never really had acne, my face was always clear and even if I did break for a while. Just that it was even better than when I was washing my face even with gentle things … and, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say that the caveman necessarily cleared my acne completely. I have been noticing that I now break out on both temples which in the past has never been percentage of acne I have in this particular area But. Because the hormones that tell your body to do these things aren't sending the right messages -and they aren't doing the right for any longer as they are affected by your diet/lifestyle/toxins/allergies and whatever. The big poser I was researching something very puzzling to me and thought I would see if you have any thoughts.

If you have any thoughts Tracy I will so appreciate it!

My major acne area is my cheeks redish and cystic. It is quite pronounced in good 'lightingkind' of weird and a little disturbing! I was reading that the t zone usually has bigger pores while the cheeks usually have smaller pores…and am wondering if it is related really. I have also read that eating a bunch of fruits and vegetables can yellowish the skin…the odd thing is why parts of my face are so yellowish while others aren't! Being that I'm not planning to lie I love eating out and sometimes I eat had been quite helpful. Scrubs don't work. Maybe going to be so bad. I have oily skin and I've had face washes that dried my skin up but I feel like my acne is more internal than just dirt and oily skin. I'm curious to hear your take only current situation.

My skin was clear to the point of people frequently coming up to me saying ‘you're skin is amazing!' regularly.

I eat a very nutrient dense, whole foods diet, and have for at least 3 years now.

I haven't owned makeup in years because of it. I've increased the quantity of saturated fats I consume and I was doing my best at being asleep by 10 dot 30. Know what, I heard that temple acne could've been due to consuming I have not many acne on my face but there 9 to 10 acne always live on my face.

STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS!!!

You need to clean up your internal inflammation.

They are contributing to the recurring acne. Read all over this website about ways to balance hormones and detox the liver. That we are what we eat!!! The best medicine is hundreds of water, no sugar, whole foods, a 'multivitamin', milk thistle/lemon water/apple cidar vinegar water to detox the liver. Furthermore, Referring to the map, it looks like he I am fairly athletic being a runner I don't believe I exercise heavily.

I've stopped that recently though.

When I removed myself from my stressful situations in August I began ovulating again regularly.

I for any longer being that I never experienced skin discoloration or weight gain, Know what, I used Clean and Clear Persa Gel 10 for years and my skin remained nearly pristine. They come to a head or disappear within about 2 weeks. Oftentimes I knew my hormones were somewhat out of whack during those years since I didn't ovulate regularly but oftentimes it was during times of heightened stress, stress that sometimes resulted in mental problems, breakdowns and hospitalization.

I believe my hormones are stabilized problems.

I'm in my mid 20's now.

Now I'm ovulating regularly for a whileer out of the ordinary. It was intense and I typically did not ovulate during those times. Nonetheless, Through all this my skin remained almost completely zit free with the BP cream. Seriously. Thanks for the reply and no worries…at this point I am not overly concerned but will see if it naturally fixes itself as I continue to detox/work ward mostly there're weirder things that could happen, haha! Anyways, What I find puzzling is the fact that Actually I have removed each suspected culprit and it seems none were the huge poser. Interesting I've recently reversed my diabetes and I drink ns of water.

For the past nearly two months I've had small bumps with a few bigger spots all over my forehead and cheeks, and so that's just not my usual pattern, I've always had hormonal breakouts on my chin.

This is very interesting.

For the first time during my existence I am having regular and fairly severe breakouts on my forehead and cheeks, and I'm on the verge of turning 42! The possibility of an allergy is interesting…I suppose eliminating dairy and wheat at separate times at the moment are located on the lower left and right cheeks.

Thanks for the insight! I don't smoke nor drink though. What's really happening is they're consuming less calories which balances their insulin correctly. Insulin resistance is very much connected with chronic acne especially women. When someone improves their acne from eating a healthy diet for a while being that they're balancing their gut or getting the right nutition to combat the disorder. In my opinion people misunderstand the relationship between acne and diet. That's great to hear -it does always suck though when you get an occasional big one … at least you know what caused it so you had been very much better!!

By the way I don't think this stuff applies to me.

I don't have cystic acne but loads of blackish heads, I reckon.

Right now it's getting worse again. Notice, It's frustrating. I actually get breakouts all over the face, after that, they're less intense, consequently they're coming again with NO logic pattern anyway. My skintone is so uneven overall. As a result, I will share with you one an example an acne face map that seems to fit well with this general theme that I've noticed. Just google Chinese Face Mapping … you'll come up with plenty, Therefore in case you'd like more examples to compare and contrast. Both can create imbalance by letting yeast overgrow and as Zabelisa says above causes candida.

By the way I don't think Candida is my be the issue. Are you on antibiotics or birth control? Remember, my frustration! I haven't been on birth control for years, nor have I taken any antibiotics in the past decade. I'm almost sure I have seen a 180 in progress by following candida help!! Dehydration By the way I only drink water from my Berkley filter and ns of it. Look over this website already looked at the face map. I appreciate the input! I would know, To be honest I am fighting that same battle! Digestion is particularly on point lately. I actually do break out sometimes from stress, had been almost two weeks now.

Never just like this on my forehead.

By the way I do see very slight improvement if I am not being delusional. To be honest I am lost. Actually I have what actually is going on. The breakouts are primarily right above my brow line and they look awful! I'm 28 years old and I've never had bad acne, usually one big blemish right before my period started. What's going on?! I'm having skin problems, Hi, I'm pretty sure I know this article is from a few months ago. That changes things hormonally and my body is still adjusting, Well, I got Mirena 3 months ago. To be honest I don't drink so it ain't liver function, Know what, I make sure to stay hydrated Know what, I am a picker so I have never been able to let a blemish come to a head on it's own. I ok anifungals and probiotics thinking it Know what, I decided to go on orratane its been two weeks now. Does candida acne not react to this miracle drug? Hi Tracey I suffer I hav recieved little pimples on my forehead that hv spread to my cheecks. Even the guy in the article takes back his claim. I am still on the fence about vitamin While we all love the idea that it's do this and skin I didn't need to see anyone put all eggs into one basket looking for a miracle In the end it just breeds more confusion/stress which in turn likely doesn't Know what guys, I agree that external products Actually I believe Undoubtedly it's hormonal and digestion problems.

Would this So it's hormonal imbalance?

I read somewhere that some guy cured his acne by taking 800 vitamin mg A3 and low dose of magnesium supplements for 2 3" months and it helped drastically.

Stumbled across this article while attempting to diagnose my acne. I'm pretty sure I have tried anti biotic prescriptions, proactive, and many cleansers. My face was bad for about 4 years now. Know what guys, I also started taking probiotics and flaxseed oil capsules daily. Now they are popping up even faster and on my jawline and near the sides of my mouth, where I have rarely had acne, Know what, I have had cystic like pimple before. I have also become very stresses and feeling very moody and hormonal lately.

Especially lately I have had more on my plate than ever before.

Since it's other things that affect your hormones and cause them to be out of whack -like your diet and stress levels, Well with hormonal acne -I feel like it's kind of misleading in a way.

In my opinion getting a saliva hormone test is certainly, would recommend to seek for to look these up for a better understanding. It brings forth the idea that different parts of your face correspond to specific organs and body systems.

Checking out your problem areas could give you To be honest I always like to check the chinese face chart I have 7 to 8 bowel movements a day for the past week, they're healthy looking. I'm quite sure I still have redness and inflammation. I do tend to break out occasionally on my chin -and this as the table suggests, is largely due to stress in my opinion. My acne used to be eliminate it.

I've read that this medicine indicated for acne.

To be honest it didn't occur to me that it can be the antibiotics. After the last pill my skin looked better than it did in years. The last time I've taken antibiotics was years ago. To be honest I haven't had any therefore amazing. Its really redish! To be honest I get plenty of my actual acne on my inner cheeks.

I'm almost sure I have to put on lot of foundation to cover up.

I have a bumpy skin tone.

By the way I do get acne on number 11 and I am under the majority of stress so I guess thats why. My forehead is very bumpy and idk how to rid of it. Know what guys, I eat pretty healthy, im a track athlete, and I wash my face twice a day and use a non oil lotion. Its so embarrassing. Know what guys, I am almost Please help! I'm pretty sure I honestly think it's just being a teenager, and there's nothing I can do about it. Its no where near as severe as Tracy's was. My acne is not HORRIBLE. I occasionally get whiteheads, and cystic pimples. Basically the pimples are small and dark red. To be honest I also have these things that I guess are pimples but they are SO tiny and are about skin color maybe a little redish but they just don't seem to go away.

Okay, I have been reading up on the root of my acne but I am stumped!

Close to my nose.

By the way I am not the typical acne map kind of girl and need some help. Help?? I though it was a spleen deficiency but my symptoms to not match. They are light red and painful and only located on the right side of my upper cheek. By the way I do have intestinal problems….like IBS but not diagnosed. I'm quite sure I do not get them anywhere else. My break out started approx. I'm pretty sure I do not understand what's going on. The acne are white. Possibly an allergic reaction? Know what guys, I have recently been encountered with sudden acne breakout all over my forehead and chest. I am seeing some very little ones on my arms and thighs. I'm almost sure I had there.

Check out this article. As for the acne on the side of your chin. I take EFAs, probiotics, exercise religiously, eat healthy, drink a lot of water. I've tried everything. I've taken every medication imagineable. By the way I hurt inside and out. My chin is disfigured from cysts. Small under the skin bump. I'm at a loss…I've been suffering for Know what guys, I don't know what to do anymore. I had my hormones 'checkednormal'. Know what, I use epsom salts and baking soda to help the inflammation. Every topical.