#like ok another fart joke

[neofelis----nebulosa]

watched the second full scene released from kfp 4 and it is significantly lowering my expectations

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[satoruhour]

OK but gojo would overuse cheezy lines because it makes reader laugh and roll her eyes, I can see him being so cheesy it hurts

a/n: DARLA U R FEEDING THE INSANITY I HAVE IN REGARDS TO GOJO !!!!!! this is so cutee ty for requesting !!!

yes very correct!!! he likes to find jokes in EVERYTHING i swear he’s so smart relating them to mochi or farts

“did you fart? cause you blew me away.” like…. that is not a romantic pick up line gojo…

hes not ashamed to say how he picked you up with a joke back in high school and all you did was roll your eyes (because he is was pretty annoying to you back then) and walk away

he had even bought your favourite drink to confess but all you did was roll your eyes and walk off… immediately flipping open your phone to text utahime and shoko in a group chat of the three of you

poor dude 😭😭

but you started to fall for him — you’re not too sure how and when, but you’re actually the one who used a lame pick up line to start the rs and not him!!

you were tempted to use his but you thought of something you knew he’d like and you’re almost mumbling it (gojo hears it the first time, like doesn’t he have six eyes? not six ears? smh)

he asks u to repeat it (“i like you very mochi…”) and he’s soooo annoying about it but ceases your misery with a big hug

continues to use it throughout your relationship - has SO many from the top of his head it’s quite a feat ngl

a little more into your relationship he teases you about love @ first sight — “do you believe in it? or should i walk past again?”

you almost slap him with your drink

when you’re going shopping for new clothes for megumi and tsumiki he points to his shirt

“know what this is made of?”

you deadpan, “what.” and the giggles are almost so difficult to hold back on gojo’s end.

“it’s boyfriend material.”

“satoru. you ARE my boyfriend.”

HES SO GOOFY I SWEARRR and he screams excitedly and does jazz hands and says “really?” with a cute, fairly punchable face 😭😭

that was the first time it really sunk in gojo was ur bf cause u bagged the strongest sorcerer? insanity. it made you smile a little, you cant lie

another time you’re teaching history to megumi as part as one of his middle school classes, and gojo shouts from the kitchen

“im studying to become a historian.”

and you almost spit out your drink cause what the fuck was he saying??? wasn’t he 25 and a super popular sorcerer

megumi says “oh no” and you think you know what’s coming. gojo finishes it

“i’m especially interested in finding a date.”

“oh COME ON.” and megumi leaves PLEASEKRNF hes so funny, “come teach me when you two stop flirting” 💀

safe to say megumi failed his history test

he plants these little things a lot, that soon you get accustomed to it or even answer it for him and he’s like whining

“you’re so sweet, baby,” and you know there’s a catch to everything he says

“yeah cause i give you a toothache, right”

“BABEEEEE ….” he attempts to give you the silent treatment for one hour. he lasts five minutes

you think it has something to do with age, maybe, cause the longer you’re with gojo the longer you find yourself liking the stupid lame pick-up lines he uses

like sure rolling eyes and giving him the finger is fun but they make your heart flutter at times and you find that you can’t stifle a smile that well around gojo anymore lolol

one day gojo broke the door off the hinges, honestly you dont know how either, so you head to IKEA

“your eyes are like IKEA, i could get lost in them for hours.” and you’re shoving him with a loud laugh, not really rolling your eyes.

he bombards you with lines as you act as suburban couples in the showrooms, he says something about meatballs and then you two really get lost

shrek movie night: “call me shrek cause i’m head ogre heels are you”

and you’re sputtering pizza all over the living room as you laugh, giving your own line that has you two forgetting about the movie. megumi rolls his eyes and smiles when he sees you two having fun :)

gojo likes your laugh, he likes to make u laugh, and he has a thousand and one more pick up lines to use on you

that night he uses “you’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line” and you gush, pushing him away with a shy smile and everything. he kisses you and whispers “i mean it.”

just know you’re fated to this stupid goofy man and his stupid pick up lines for the rest of your life <3

[gassydumbjocks]

Its Good To Be A Man

Tyler close the door and throw himself to the sofa, exhausted after a day of work thanking it was finally over. He worked at a pretty good company, but being the only gay guy in his department and having to deal with homophobes and sexist co-workers was sometimes too much for him, so he thought about watching a movie or a tv show maybe to relax and sleep.

He started to look up in his VHS Cassettes' box and soon noticed that strangely, a new one was there, it didn't got any cover or stuff, and just had written "Its good to be a man" as the only title on it, he found it weird, but then supposed perhaps that his dumb jock of a roommie got it and put it with his stuff "I've told him not to touch my things like a million times, when is that brute gotta learn"

He had to admit the curiousity was hitting him, it was probably a home made video recorded by Connor and his gross buddies, but boy... after all, he was gay, and all of Connor's friends were toned ripped jocks from the gym (with a brain of a peanut size, but hot after all)

Thinking "maybe its just their excersizes routines... guess it wouldn't hurt to see" feeling a bit of a lust mood running in his body "ok, just a couple minutes...but i swear, if its just them having a belch off, im burning this" he said.

Putting the tape in the tv player, he clicked to put the video, and all of a sudden, the typical static sound shows, then a simple white screen, making Tyler raise an eyebrow, before what seemed to be a variety show intro plays, a smiling man in a suit which he supposed was the host, along a bunch athletic shirtless men with dumb expressions who followed next to him appeared in screen.

"Good to see ya again my brothers!" The host announces "this is your program where you learn how to be real MEN", as if it was a cue, the stud-bodied-like guys all grunted and beated their chests, like they were gorillas making a chanting "Uh!, Uh!, Uh!" and flexed their arms, making the audience laugh loudly, with those cocky grins Tyler knew so well, he rolled his eyes.

Making the host laugh aswell, he patted one of them in the back "That's what i talk about" he joked "Alright folks, tonight we'll indulge into an intense session of what it means to be a man, these guys here will serve as examples in showing you all stuff boys MUST do to become the alpha macho men they truly are" he adds, then, smirking, he takes a small device from his suit pocket.

"This little thing here made sure to leave them empty headed and obey any manly command given to them, just as it'll make sure to do the same for you, ma boy" he suddenly announces.

"...The hell?" Tyler said, arching his look again as he watched them "is this some bullshit hypnosis crap or?..." he asked

"That's right, dudes! Lets begin" the host shouted. "It's time to show off around what you're made of! We'll do something primal, no pun intented" he joked "We'll now do the first category: BURPING!, so, let's hear those nice bassy burps!" he says, turning to the group of jocks, as he pressed a button of that device.

Immediatly, they started to release loud and deep monsters of burps, at unison, as if they were in trance, still with those dumb expressions, and Tyler could swear he saw how one of them got his eyes crossed with a complete fool face.

Even worse, Tyler felt a strange urge to burp himself too. He tried to resist, but the feeling was overwhelming, he rubbed his gut hoping to calm it down, but he just letted out a loud, embarrassing belch, blushing immediatly

"Wha-BOOOOUUURRP?- Is happening?!" he said between belches, a little ashamed.

"Excellent!" the host cheered. "This is what i call a manly symphony!, but we also know there is another way to do that, right?" He asks the public with a mischevous grin "FARTING is a big part in the bonding among men, so, we just have to, let it rip right?" He asked again, as he pressed that little button.

Some of the guys turned around to show their butts, other simply proceed to lift their legs, but they all did the same, at the command of "letting rip" they instantly started a worthy orchestra of simultaneous farts, each sounding grosser and deepest than the last one

Tyler was grossed out and sick, he wanted it to stop, but as he bend over a bit over to approach the tv, his butt felt the need to drop a massive, and nasty monster of a deep fart, the loudest he've ever letted out, he could feel his butt vibrating at that one, sitting normally again, horrified and trying to cover his butt with his hands.

"This-BOOOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPP!" He belched "Is a nightmare!..."

PPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRTTTT!!!

That last fart seemed to do something on Tyler, he kept one second silent before, turning his head to the tv again, now with a dumb and foolish grin adorning his face "hahaha, dudee, i need to quit the bean dip next timee" he said in a lower, more manly voice.

"Whew! Guys! Ok ok its enough! Hahaha" The always happy host said, as he waved his hand to make the smell go away, as the dumb bunch of men kept blasting bombs out of their butts "Geez, dont anybody here think on turning on a lighter" he said bursting in laughing, making Tyler laugh too at the stupid joke.

"But for now, this is all we got for today's emmision, bros, we're glad that you could come with us in this, stinky, foul and manly lessons that every man needs to apply in his everyday, till the next program! Boys? Would you like to wave goodbay?" he asked with a grin.

The camera showed each of them, now it was sure they all had that same cross-eyed look and dumb smiles, like Tyler did, the staff offered a can of a kind of soda to one of them, which he drank in a single gulp, before removing it from his lips "GOOOD BYEEEEAAAAUUURRRRRP!" A massive belch came out, as he succesfully burp-talked, gaining again the laughs and applause from all the people in the set.

Meanwhile with Tyler, at the same time he also relaxed his muscles, and lifted a leg as he felt some pressure in his lower abdomen, he knew very well what that meant "Bombs away!" he said proudly, before the smelly, big and long fart made its way out of his crack.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!

"Hahah!" he chuckled "i think i just ruined my undies"

[cloudster-clown]

Philza Friday "stream"

Phil's thinking on his evil chair. It appears that he would like to do some evil things today.

Oh? Sneeg wants another trident? Will Phil help him?

OF COURSE PHIL WILL HELP HIM. THEY LITERALLY WORK TOGETHER HEHEHE

They find a beach and dived into the water to find a drowned with a trident. It'll be hard though, the chances of it dropping a trident is very low.

They couldn't find a drowned with a trident Sadge At least things couldn't get any worse right?

Oh

OH SHIT IT'S CHAT HOPPERS. WE DON'T CARE WHATS HAPPENING TO YOUR STREAMER!!! OH GOD THEY WON'T GO AWAY

HELP

Disclaimer: chat hoppers are not just from tubbo's chat. They can come from any streamer, I just chose tubbo's chat cause the idea of bees swarming in Phil's face is funny

SNEEG SAVES THE DAY. He kicks the chat hoppers(literally), the only one that suffered the casualty is Phil but he can walk it off. He's fiiiiiiinne. Back to trident hunting!

After 2 hours of trying to find a trident, Phil and Sneeg yells out in frustration with a hint of farting by Sneeg. The yelling consists of FUCK, SHIT, COCK, BALLS. Gamer rage am I right?

After all that yelling things start to calm down. It was very relaxing, they were talking about random stuff while both chats are just vibing peepoHappy

Wait...

OH

LETSGO

AFTER HOURS OF PAIN, THEY FINALLY GOT A TRIDENT! WHAT A GOOD WAY TO END OFF. Good job Phil and Sneeg! :D

And with that, we have ended of the "stream" doodles! I had so much fun making these and adding little jokes here and there in which, I'm glad that you all found them funny hehe. I also loved adding my headcannons to his hardcore world :] Will I do these again? If he's gone for 2 weeks, MAYBE??? Idk, we'll see what my motivation says lol.

Ok time to end this off like a normal stream

Bai guys

BYYYYYYEEEEEEE

*pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop*

*phil noise*

ah

[katlyntheartist]

I worry that Hollywood won't learn anything from how bad the Minecraft movie looks/will be. People with kids will go see it (which is fine I'm not judging) and it will make enough money to justify it's existence.

I'm worried this formula may become the norm with such franchises. What do you think?

Anon, this has been happening since forever. Illumination helped pioneer this mindset, for sure, but studios like Disney, Dreamworks, and Sony have already been making kids films with nothing but money in mind.

But the difference between them and Illumination is that they've also crafted some of the most well known and beloved movies that both kids and adults can enjoy. Disney lately has hit a creative rut (among other things), Dreamworks is hit or miss in terms of what quality movie your getting (that's nothing new this is same the studio that gave us Puss in Boots 2 and the Boss Baby), and Sony seems to be focusing on more Spiderverse quality films but that can always change, they have made more garbage films than gems.

I also blame Baby Shark, Cocomellon, and other Youtube Kids properties for this mindset because when you look at the numbers for those videos, it's easy to see why big studios would encourage that kind of mentality, especially since those videos are made to keep children quiet. I babysit for my neighbors kids and they watch some of the most mind-numbing garbage I've ever scene. Makes me sad that they never got to watch the movies and shows I grew up with. Then again the parents just do not care about what goes into their kids' minds but that's another story for another day.

So yeah, I doubt this mentality is ever truly going to go away. And if you're someone who likes the Boss Baby, or the Emoji Movie, or most Illumination movies then ok. I'm not going to hate you if you like them. I just don't. I don't mind a movie being simple fun but it has to have substance and can't just essentially be crack for kids. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and they are getting dumber because studios keep making them dumber. (Also with how parents are raising their kids but again another story for another day)

Anyway, while I have no plans to see the Minecraft movie, I'll wait for an official trailer to come out just to see what the story is going to be like. I wanna see if they had an actual story for this movie or if is just going to be a "things happen but we through in bright colors, fart/poop jokes, and nostalgia bait to keep the kiddos engaged".

[fraternum-momentum]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 / 𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔

TW: general dead dove do not eat stuff, mostly nudity and sexual themes, non-con, dub-con, gore, ecc.

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

frambling...? memes, general shitposts, thoughts (🧍‍♀️ for tmi stuff )

franswers asks

frayocs oc tag !

my art drawings + doodles (yes i've debated on calling it frart or fart, this is for the best.) ( froodles for doodles :D)

not my art specifically for other peoples art :DD

hoes in da closet fit pics

shitty art advice (dont listen to them) im not joking, im not good at giving art tips :']

𝐅𝐀𝐐:

Can I repost your art in another website?

Yes ! Just please credit me properly and provide a link to the original post :] What I don't allow is: commercial use without permission, NFT's and AI.

Are you commissions open?

They are currently not open ! But info can be found here :]]

What program and brushes do you use?

Info about what program i use can be found [here] and I constantly change my brushes like every week but as of now i use these 3:

What are your boundaries regarding your OCs + sona?

⋆ Allowed: Fanart (SFW/NSFW) Thirsts in the inbox, tags, and comments are allowed and platonic or meme-y art with your oc/sona is ok. ⋆ For OC's, ship art with romantic or sexual connotations are not allowed. ⋆ For my sona it's ok 👍 [reasons why and full response here]

What are the rules for making a character in your au?

I'm not super strict with rules cause it all for shits and giggles but here are some guidelines ! ⋆ Must be a farm animal ⋆ Must be westerned themed That's literally it LMAO references and usefull links can be found [here]

[l0thcat]

I keep thinking about TBB and how it ended. Or the whole season i should say, the ending was pretty good with a few flaws ( in my opinion ).

And you know, I'm not surprised, as much as i LOVE this show, I'm used to cartoons getting shit. Its been going on for far too long.

Its Disney AND Netflix. And here is a list of shows that were doing good, got told mid season its getting canceled, and a rushed ending.

Amphibia

The Owl House

She Ra and The Princesses Of Power ( 2018 )

Centaurworld*

My Little Pony G4* and G5

Steven Universe*

OK KO lets be heroes.*

Star Trek Prodigy*

Kipo and the age of the wonderbeasts.

The Mandalorian ( i know its not a cartoon but it has the same vibes as TBB ).

And probably many more. It sucks, so bad, for animation. And I'm saying this because i fully believe Disney or whoever was going to cancel TBB if it already isn't. They just didn't want to announce that.

Other notes:

*Centaurworld ; Was meant to be an ADULT cartoon and very much has left overs from that, however Netflix decided it was too MLP-esc so they made it for kids instead which ended up just being a bunch of fart and butt jokes. And then got canceled anyways so everything had to rush and wrap up in season 2. Which SUCKS because it is so beautiful when it can be and has beautiful music.

*MLP G4 is not Netflix nor Disney and while it did get multiple seasons and an ending, it had new writers during, i don't know, s6 or s7. And things slowly went backwards. And the end felt rushed imo. It wasn't a bad one but it didn't feel.. satisfying.

*Steven Universe ; i love Steven Universe, it was canceled because the creator got an Sapphic wedding AND kiss scene on screen, on a kids cartoon. But they compromised by after the finale they would get a spin off and a movie. The finale is good. Whats rushed here to me, was the spin off. And again, this is not Disney or Netflix, but Cartoon Network.

OK KO and Star Trek prodigy are also not Disney or Netflix ( which apparently Netflix is trying to save Star Trek Prodigy ) but also kicked the bucket.

All this to say ; there is a huge problem within the animation area and I'm tired of CEOs or whoever forcing creators and writers to cancel or shorten their stories.

The Bad Batch s3 is no better in my opinion. I loved a lot of scenes of it and I'm grateful for a lot of it and I'm not honestly sure if this is Disney or Jennifer or someone else but it really hurts.

Here is why it bothers me:

I'll just get this one out of the way first. Tech. Tech COULD have been sacrificed. He COULD have died. In a way that was actually meaningful. Omega got captured anyway, she was probably going to whether Tech went home with them or not. His death IS sad and i DO see them trying to honor it, i do. But its bad to me because it really does feel like "gotta kill the autistic person". Its really annoying when shows try to have an autistic character and then mistreat them ( She Ra 2018 as well but Entrapta didn't die but she does get mistreated a lot ). Its annoying and hurtful. Especially with the writers and such teasing his fans so strongly. There was no reason to. Its not a spoiler.

The TALKS in between that we missed. Tech talking to Phee about Crosshair. Crosshair learning about Tech's Death from Omega. Omega talking to Emerie about her brothers. Crosshair coming back with Omega, we don't even see them just silently watching him walk into the ship. Its just nothing. I'm sure i am forgetting some because it happened, SO much during this season.

What happened to Cody. Like its fine if he's being saved for another series but then perhaps say that.

Creators do not have to be extremely secretive about everything. Fans who don't want spoilers don't go looking for it. I'm not implying they need to spoil the ENTIRE plot, but saying Tech is dead-dead is not something to be secretive about, An hour long finale is not something to be secretive about, etc.

The other Clone X's, while they are very very cool and supposed to mirror CF99... they weren't overly needed honestly. It felt so rushed. Like I'm not saying they needed to be someome either, they don't need to. But i wasn't fearful or full of impact when i saw them my genuine reaction was "this is too much now". It was like if they DID decide to put Darth Vader in it at last second. Like i fully believe Omega was supposed to be home with Crosshair for a little longer and help Echo and Rex with the clones. And then these new CX clones were supposed to show up in s4 and be the ones to get her again.

The fans.. would have wanted.. season 4?...... i don't know why its so bad to want that. And honestly atp, i don't get why its so bad to have plot filler. Its BAD for series that got canceled or shortened, but its not bad for a series that you want more of, because then you get more time with them or more lore if you're lucky.

It occured to me there was not one flash back. Not one about the past. The most was Omega talking about how she watched CF99 be made and that it implied shes older ( and is ) than them. Could you imagine the emotional impact on us and for Omega, watching her, watch them grow up. I don't think Rebels or TCW really had flash backs either but they usually did it in other ways.

I'm not like.. a good writer, so maybe writers on here will disagree and thats okay, I'm open to that.

TLDR: I'm tired of Cartoons kicking the bucket too soon for far too long. I feel like The Bad Batch s3 also had this treatment and it isn't fair to the fans.

[downforthegas]

Ok but like sometimes I think about how Wa//lly in the context of the show needs some things explained to him, sometimes even very basic things like laughing and feeling certain emotions... so I imagine he maybe needed to be explained what farts are... uh, I'm... (long post, I'm ashamed lol)

Like I imagine he's with Ba//rn//aby at How//dy's bodega, when How//dy hands him a chili dog and Ba//rn taking it (and being the little joker that he is) says, "How//dy, I appreciate the chili dog, but I'm blaming you for when I get gas later." And Wa//lly just goes, "Gas? But you're not a car." And then How//dy and Ba//rn have a good laugh.

I imagine they explain the process to him, how someone sometimes just needs to fart, but Wa//lly's still lost, even though How//dy feels like he explained it good enough. Ba//rn's already thinking of (explosive) examples he can give himself, especially after eating that chili dog.

But instead, Ho//wdy gives him a nice big can of beans, on the house. Wa//lly stares into the can and blinks, eating what would be considered big spoonfuls of beans telepathically with his eyes. By the end, he feels his belly. It's swollen and putting pressure on the buttons desperately holding his cardigan closed. His two hands feel his belly, it feels weird for his normally flat stomach to feel like a balloon. How//dy and Ba//rn are giggling a little, but notice Wa////lly's having trouble. He knows he has to push but nothing's happening. Ba//rn gently squeezes his sides, which results in Wa//lly's backside finally making noise.

A loud, strong toot, rumbling for 10 seconds, sounding the same throughout those seconds, ending with a loud pop, so loud you could swear Wa//lly made a hole in his pants. He sighs, feeling less pressure in his belly. Then he smells the air. A ripe fart stink permeates the once clear air in the shop, which How//dy and Ba//rn notice as well. "Jeez! How did somethin so small make somethin so smelly?" and now Wa//lly feels a little awkward that he ripped something that smells so terrible. But this awkwardness doesn't stay once it's How//dy's turn.

How//dy's stomach rumbles audibly and he leans over, rubbing his mid section with two hands, the other two holding the counter. Ba//rn asks him what's wrong, and How//dy just says, "You tell me? You thought it'd be a great idea to eat at that *uugh!* new place!" How//dy would be so used to eating leafy greens like any caterpillar that eating greasy unhealthy foods for once totally turns his stomach upside down. He tries not to but a loud, bubbly fart rumbles against his pants, blowing the strings on his apron. Squeezing his cheeks together doesn't help and only amplifies the sound. Clusters of louder short farts keep erupting as How//dy can't help but give up and relieve himself. When he's done, Ba//rn and Wa////y are laughing while teal blush forms on How//dy's face. "Well, I'm lucky no one else is in this shop. Otherwise, they would've been running."

Ba//rn comments saying, "Those are worse than your usual farts!" Which only makes How//dy blush more. "But that's nothing. Watch this." He leans against the counter, slightly lifting a let before a monsterous fart escapes. The whole counter, floor, and walls shake from his huge bassy fart. What's crazy is that it wasn't even from the chili dog.

Wa//lly holds his nose and How//dy holds his shirt over his nose, fans the air, and sprays with a room spray (which you can get for a good joke from How//dy's Place, the home of everything you need and everything you don't). Ba//rn//aby plays it off as if it's just a small toot, waving his backside with his hand, and his little tail, saying, "Whoo! I don't mean to toot my own horn but... well, I just did. Hehehehe!"

Wa//lly seems to understand now, but he's not a big fan of the combined smells from everyone. How//dy's about to say they should open the door to air the smell out, but then another neighbor walks in and immediately passes out from the smell.

[pfogjvhurnfj]

Headcannon on Buggy relationship dynamics

Ok so at first he’s floundering, he’s so insecure. We know this. Its everywhere

However once he’s finally comfortable shit gets wild. Like when you finally fart comfortably around each other type domestic grossness

At first when you would come back or encounter each other after a hard day’s work all sweaty and gross he would very much tiptoe around it. If he’s gross he’s running for the room to shower before you get there to witness the sheer horror. If you are. He’s insisting you look dazzling all the gentlemanly stuff, nine yards…

No longer. His nickname for you?

“Stinky”

He goes in for a big sweaty hug when he’s gross and gets his hand wipes the face sweat and makeup. Its joining your face sweat. If you are living up to the nickname, crushing hug or tackle. He corners you and restrains you somehow and licks a stripe up the side of your gross sweaty face because gross and icky.

Your revenge? You made the Buggy Balls jokes. You wonder why he changed the name?? Because you spread the innuendos around the office. Not that nobody didn’t get the connection, just before you nobody else dared bring up the branding issue. He may have been more on board if by some miracle he had seen the easy joke when he named it or until you started. Hindsight an’ allat

Dutch ovens are a cannon event. For both parties. Try get one in in the morning and scurry off

Clammy hands? Your idea but popularised by him. Tricked him into a high five. He has to get the 5 before bed. Gloves make clammy hands. He will give you the mercy of washing hands and not shoving them in your face. But both of you do this

More maybe? Dunno, ill make another or something dont rush art

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Well would you like some coffee? - Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I mean, some mentions of trauma, not much honestly.

Type: One shot

Request: Hi I love your work! Could you do a Loki x reader where the reader has a major crush on Loki but feels so hopeless abt it bc why would a god like a girl like her w/ childhood trauma and a weird laugh. Hope you have a good day :)

Word Count: 3,622

Prompt: Reader has a crush on Loki, but feels hopeless.

Notes: Ok so, obviously I didn’t know where this was going towards the end, I kind of had a brain fart so maybe I’ll revisit this. Let me know if you like it or not!

You loved working with the avengers, it was a surreal experience. You never would’ve imagined living in the tower, not to mention the fact that you didn’t have or do anything really special, at least compared to those around you. 

You weren’t a god, you weren’t a trained from childhood assassin, you weren’t enhanced in any way or born with any kind of skill as others were. You were just a girl who worked at a coffee shop who got close to Wanda. She tended to visit your little shop of coffee and pastries every other day. 

Wanda would talk to you about anything, you always made her feel like she wasn’t an experiment. She beamed at the fact that you didn’t particularly “handle” her like she was a lethal weapon, even though she could be. She needed someone like that in her life and you were it.

You two bonded over your struggles, often making jokes about it though you both knew you meant well. You pulled each other together, it was no secret that you needed one another just as much. It seemed fairly easy to be honest with Wanda and your openness reflected on her just as quickly.

Working at the coffee shop could only pay you so much, even with tips, you were struggling to make ends meet. Thankfully you were able to snack on whatever they had at your work and drink endless amounts of coffee, which couldn’t be healthy, but it certainly kept you up and picking up as many shifts as you could.

Wanda, hearing from your struggles didn’t hesitate to invite you in, as a roommate, sort of. She had a bumpy relationship with Tony, she didn’t ask him for much, in fact, this would probably be the first favor she’s ever requested of him. He wasn’t entirely on board with the idea of taking in someone nobody really knew other than Wanda, not into the avengers tower at least. Bruce wasn’t really excited about it either, but it was obvious that Wanda had made up her mind. It didn’t appear that anyone really wanted to stop her anyway.

Eventually, the heroes warmed up to you, you were at a point where you knew how everyone liked their coffee. You brought the facility together and made them feel way more at home, since you spent most of the days having free time, only working at the shop rather casually, you invested your time in learning basic house chores: cooking, cleaning, rearranging the living room, doing laundry, you even took up taking in real house plants. Real, houseplants.

You’ve heard stories of their adventures and missions, there was always a conversation to be had when you were all together, you didn’t have to worry about the place looking dull.

Eventually Tony began to let his guard down around you, joking with the idea that if you revealed any of their classified information, you’d disappear off the face of this earth “nothing would be left of you” is how he put it, which you half believed.

You weren’t interested in disintegrating the avengers, you only needed a place to stay. The topic would eventually surface, the one that felt like a jab to everyone’s ribcage. The story that became of Loki, Thor's adoptive brother. The mood seemed to shift, there was not a real consensus about the demi-god.

Loki’s name alone appeared to be their trigger word, as everyone’s eyes seemed to search in their memories unwillingly.

It appeared that when his name would scatter throughout the room, there was that stiffness that played like a domino effect among those who had met the Demi-god. The more time you spent with the Avengers, the more common the uneasy feeling seemed.

You saw the news, it was everywhere, you had to be completely and utterly secluded if you didn’t know about New York a few years back. The scar still seemed prominent, especially in Tony’s demeanor. 

“It’s the only way Stark. I trust no other to keep a watchful eye on him.” Thor pleaded, you were in the process of making a morning coffee for Wanda, who was curled up against the stool across from you. The room only rattled with Thor's thundering voice and Tony’s denial, your eyes shifted around the room quickly, you didn’t know what to do, you were the last one to have anything to say about this.

Steve was sitting across from Wanda, mimicking both of your silence, Bruce observed both Tony and Thor, even from afar you could tell he was having flashbacks of the aftermath. From what you understood, Loki was troubled, but he was not loved by anyone more than Thor. Even after finding out he was not of his own blood, his love remained the same, you could tell by the way he argued with Tony.

Natasha was on the couch next to Clint, curled up in a rather relaxed manner, the only sound was coming from your spoon twirling in the glass. There was no way you knew what to say, of course you witnessed a few similar arguments, hell you were the reason for some of them, not as of late, thankfully. This time, instead of the tones soothing, they only became harsher, you weren’t there to witness any physical altercations between the group, but Wanda would reveal some scenarios she would be present for. 

Your fingertips became sweaty, nervousness was an understatement. Setting the glass down near Wanda, you stood near her, her eyes meeting yours. It didn’t take long for her to give you a voiceless reassurance. 

Somewhere along the raised voices, came a jolting “Alright!!” straining from Tony’s throat, which caused a simultaneous startle among the witnesses, especially you. You made note of Thor’s relief displayed across his eyes and face. Still, he seemed to be the only one relieved, there were unsure looks throughout the room, your eyes refused to meet with anyone except Wanda's, nothing out of the ordinary.

Months have passed, but there were still times you reflected to that argumentative moment, you’d be lying to yourself if you said that wasn’t one of the scariest moments you’ve witnessed so far. It didn’t take an analytic to see that the tensions were high and those around, were simply waiting for someone, anyone to make a move. You, of course, believed you’d be the first one down, you knew nothing about fighting, you could barely hold your own and it only made you feel more out of place.

It was ridiculous in your opinion, but Wanda was always there to reassure you it was not. Still, you felt in your heart it was. At times, you’d ask her to teach you to fight, but her excuse was that her way of fighting, wouldn’t involve methods you could use. She wasn’t wrong, if you needed to go to anyone, Steve was your best bet. 

There was some kind of embarrassment you felt in asking for help in that way, of course over time you began to feel more comfortable, but you still had a long way to go. 

Loki had been living in the tower for the last few months, the air felt dense. It felt as if everyone was constantly on edge, which you didn’t doubt they were. It seemed like Thor was the only bridge between Loki and the avengers, but you didn’t mind him much. In fact, when you first met him, you thought he was the most gorgeous being you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His cheekbones were utterly defined, his prompt black hair really exaggerated his pale skin, complementing those jeweled eyes, though you wouldn’t dare get lost in them, it seemed like they held the universe’s secrets in them. 

You allowed Thor to introduce you briefly, but it didn’t seem like Loki minded you much, of course he didn’t, but in all honesty, it seemed like he wasn’t happy to be there at all. You didn’t blame him though, you weren’t too sure how you’d feel moving into a place where you traumatized everyone and had no way to gain their complete trust back. You were torn between both points of view, from what Wanda explained to you, she told you what it was like to be manipulated and be told that all the harm you’re causing was for the greater good. She would talk to you with tears in her eyes about what it was like you have your mind shattered and be molded into a weapon. 

This was all her experience of course, there was no way you could compare both Wanda and Loki, but there was some insight at least. You’d think about it from time to time, it would riddle your mind, you couldn’t help it. Seeing the way he was treated even though he never displayed any sign of ill intent or malice, yet he was unwelcome.

You’d hesitate to intervene in his reading time, although there were too many conversation starters to use, you refrained from bothering him. You could offer him something to drink, but something always stopped you. It was no secret to yourself that you didn’t have the best confidence, you’d be surprised to have any, but this always talked you out of bothering Loki.

As the months continued to roll by, you did your best to stay out of Loki’s way, you kept from staring into his eyes, not because you were particularly afraid, you were just shy. There was no way you even had to courage to look him in the eyes and smile, even a simple ‘hello’ seemed so taxing. You were content with just staying in your corner.

At times, you were bound to walk into each other, well not literally, you were too cautious not to do so, but it seemed like Loki would frequent the study, or the library. You did your best to keep the place clean having nothing else to do, but when you’d see the demi-god inhabiting the room, you refused to walk in. You couldn’t avoid him forever of course, there were times where he’d relax against the couch, his eyes interlocked with the scriptures on the yellow tinted pages, head down, eyebrows furrowed, so concentrated on the piece. 

You began to catch yourself intaking meaningless details, your heart accelerating at the thought of him catching you. This confused you of course, maybe you were just terrified of the idea of him catching you watch him from afar, it was creepy of course, but you just couldn’t look away, you just couldn’t. You didn’t really want to either.

There had been enough awkward encounters between you that you had to briefly apologize. 

One morning, Wanda slept in post battle, you greeted the abandoned kitchen, not knowing what to do with yourself. You decided to begin what you did best, coffee. You hummed at the sight of the drink brewing, the aroma floating around the air aimlessly, maybe a few morning muffins wouldn’t hurt. As you turned toward the pantry, you heard quiet footsteps, feeling the dense presence behind you. 

Your continuous efforts to stay away from Loki grew useless, you knew that uneasy feeling had to be for a reason as you turned your head to see Loki towering over you. His emerald eyes beamed at the sight of you, his eyebrows frowned in concern, you could only look up to him, your mouth trying to choke out a few words. “Is something wrong?” Were the only words that could escape your mouth. He’s never taken you into account, it was always like you never existed to him, it was an all too familiar feeling. 

A small shake of the head came over him as his eyes stayed on yours, then shifting to the features around your face, which only made you even shyer. You couldn’t avoid his gaze if you prayed to the gods, you were sure he made not of your warm cheeks and accelerated heartbeat. 

“You’ve never asked me how I like my coffee.” 

The black haired demi-god uttered before you, your eyes widened at his complaint, you looked down in disbelief “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think you liked coffee.” You responded as you continued your walk to the pantry. There was nothing that could prepare you for this moment, you couldn’t fathom a response quick enough. There was a brief silence between you, only the movement of shuffling items in the pantry.

“I’m only teasing Lady Y/N” He admitted with a playful tone, you could only let out a chuckle in response, retrieving what you needed and bringing it back over to the counter with the coffee maker. 

You didn’t trust yourself to look over to Loki, now that you thought about it, you couldn’t even remember if you’ve ever looked him in the eyes.

It’s not that you were scared of him, you weren’t, but there was just something about bringing your eyes over to him for longer than a second that just made it unbearable.

Another moment of silence passed, it was only then that you gathered enough courage to speak “Well, would you like some coffee?” 

This time, the silence wasn’t brief, in fact he responded close to instantly “If I could trouble you for some.”

Loki seemed so undeniably polite, it was like you couldn’t picture him harming a single body, let alone leading a whole army to invade New York. If there wasn’t video footage and thousands of witnesses along with the string of Avengers, you would’ve for sure been a “Disaster of New York” denier.

Your hand flinched back quickly when a few drops of hot coffee dripped onto your index finger, letting the cup drop and dribble against the kitchen counter. A simultaneous gasp filled the air for a brief moment. 

Instinctively, you brought your finger up to ease between your lips, a habit that had been brewing since you were in pre-school. 

To say you were embarrassed is an understatement. “Are you alright?” You heard the soothing voice get closer. Your eyes trailed up to meet the icy blue ones focused on your injured finger. 

Loki pulled your hand away from you face to take a look at the almost non-existent injury. “Let me take a look.” Though you pathetically attempted to jerk your hand away from his, there was a brief moment of being mesmerized by his concern. “It’s nothing, really. I should’ve been more careful.” You insisted.

Frowning as Loki seemed to take this more serious than it was, he reached over for a kitchen towel, wiping your finger to expose the lack of injury. It was then he seemed relieved. You pulled your hand back, moving the mug to allow Loki to wipe the counter of the spilled drink. 

“I certainly didn’t mean the trouble, please allow me.” Loki protested as he finished cleaning the counter of the spill, referring to the coffee pot. 

“No, no I was the one who offered. Come on, I can pour some coffee. I know I may just seem like a lousy mortal but I can pour some coffee.” Though you joked, it seemed like you were the only one laughing. There was a flush of regret that came over you when your eyes took a quick glance towards Loki.

He didn’t seem reactive in any way instantly, which was always worrisome for you when you took the liberty to make any joke. 

Your smile disappeared as quickly as it came, looking away from him as you continued to pour the coffee into the mug. The thought of even asking if you did something wrong seemed to terrify you more than anything at the moment. 

“Is that what you think I view you as?” Loki hummed as his hand moved the rag towards the edge of the kitchen counter. You fiddled with your bottom lip, this time feeling the weight of being an adult who shouldn’t run from questions you didn’t want to answer, this being one of them.

“I don’t know what you view me as. In fact I didn’t think you viewed me as anything at all, if I’m being honest” You half laughed at your lack of lies in your answer. 

“Nonsense, you’re hard to keep eyes off of.” Loki admitted nonchalantly as you brought the mug towards him. 

You rewarded his response with a stiff silence, not knowing exactly how to respond. “Cream?” you pathetically asked. You could’ve said anything else, wanting to be anywhere but here at this very moment.

A chuckle formed across the Demi-god’s lips, his eyes flicked towards the black liquid in the blue mug. “I don’t think so, would you have any sugar?” Loki asked in return, not phased by your response.

You nodded eagerly, showing him the different types. His eyes distracted by the options, he observed the packaging before deciding upon the most natural option. 

Loki was now added to your list of coffee making, after some trial and error, you both managed to figure out how he liked his coffee best. Black, with four packs of cane sugar. 

It wouldn’t take long for you to begin to trust him. You began to ramble on about your experiences, miniscule in comparison of his own stories yet he never seemed to be bored of yours. Not all of them were the best, on either sides, of course with life came ups and downs and the more you spoke about it, the more you realized you had more downs than ups. 

He took note of that, his eyes would shift to a sympathetic view of the person before him, explaining their experiences. Sometimes you’d catch yourself and cut the story short, something he never liked. It wasn’t until you got more comfortable with him that he would argue for you to finish your story or ask for more details.

The others began to notice how close you both had gotten, Wanda especially. You’d explain to her how he seemed so delicate and charming. You even confided in her how you had issues accepting his past actions. She didn’t seem completely in agreeance of your new friendship because she knew you so well. Wanda saw your crush before you saw it yourself, eventually spending nights talking about it along with how to deal with it.

There came a night, where you couldn’t sleep, no matter how much you tossed and turned. It wasn’t often you had sleepless nights, but when you did, it was impossible to get back to bed soon. 

You opted for the calmest room you could think of, the library. Sometimes just sitting on the couch, being surrounded by warm lighting and cozy corners often became your lullaby. Tonight, someone already beat you to it. 

Loki’s eyes met yours at the sound of an intruder, there was a moment of silence then interrupted by the Demi-god sitting across the velvet couch with a thick book in hand. “Can’t sleep?” He greeted you.

You shook your head, rubbing your eyes as you made your way towards him. Crawling onto the couch and figuring out what he was reading so intently at these hours of the night. 

“Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I read the bed time stories my mother used to read me.” Loki admitted as he looked down to the pages scribbled in Norse writing. Your head leaned over to rest on his shoulder, a familiar position you grew to retreat to. 

It would be hard for Loki to admit, but he was quite fond of your touch. He never moved when you touched him or laid your head on his shoulder. At times, you’d be so tired from running errands, when he’d invite you to read with him, you would end up falling asleep. Sometimes on him and he would refuse to move a muscle. 

Of course you’d be embarrassed in the beginning, but he would soon become your safe space. 

“Y/N” Loki whispered to you as you felt your eyelids heavy. “Hm?” You mumbled as you tied to lift your head at the sound of your name on his lips. “You’re so sweet.” He admitted to himself, pressing his lips against your head. 

The feeling of course sparked your heart to race against your chest. Your eyes no longer feeling the weight of sleep. You felt your face redden, looking down towards both of your laps. “You know, I’ve always been troubled with admitting how I felt, understanding really would be the most difficult part. Still, the time I’ve spent with you, I believe I just find it relieving to meet someone who doesn’t have war on their mind.”

Your face shifted to confusion, not being sure if you were just friend zoned. You pulled your head away from his shoulder to look him directly in the eyes. “I like spending time with you too Loki.” There was no way you could control your wandering eyes at this point, they darted to the curves of his lips, refusing to look elsewhere. 

Loki made note of it, shifting his gaze between your eyes then reflecting to look at your lips. “No, I don’t think I’ve made myself clear lady Y.N.” His body shifted so slightly to face you. It only took a moment to have him lean in towards you. You shot up in surprise at the ease of his movement, staying in place as he pressed his lips against yours. 

There was no way you could avoid the butterflies that set free in you at his touch. You instantly pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes in return. 

You’ve made both of yourselves clear.

[dem0nguy]

RAMBLETIMERAMBLETIMERAMBLETIMERAMBLETIME

(Thanks @spinningbagel for persuading me to ramble lol)

Ok so I’m gonna ramble about Sheriff (and a bit of Ryan), and how much I headcannon/theorize he was traumatized throughout his childhood and the effects of that later on.

Starting it off strong, WHERE THE FUCK ARE SHERIFF AND RYAN’S PARENTS??

Like we just have these two silly boys, living on a pig farm, all by themselves??

They had to have parents at some point right? So where they at???

(Unrelated but I find the 2D flashback style in this show aesthetically pleasing, it’s just so smooth and nice looking :>)

I think that their parents just owned the farm, and made Jim and Ryan do all the damn work while they sit on their asses doing nothing all day.

That would explain Ryan’s need to join the army, and to take Sheriff with him. Because he knew damn well that their parents weren’t gonna take care of Sheriff.

I don’t think their parents outright abused the two of them though, I think it was just child neglect (yippee)

Sheriff was still pretty young when Ryan joined the army (probably like, in his early teens) and being in that environment took a major toll on him. It’s likely what made him such a cocky asshole tbh.

Compared to everyone else in the series, Sheriff is the most emotionally immature. Aside from the fart jokes, he is a genuine egotistical asshole half the time. He even gets on Shooter’s nerves, and Shooter isn’t nearly as bad as him when it comes to this. (Shooter’s just a little bit of a dumbass, but its ok, we still love him <3)

This does make sense in relation to Sheriff randomly proclaiming himself as leader of La Résistance though. His only real adult figures were army men who order people around and get whatever they want. So he must’ve taken after them when given the opportunity to “lead.”

It is possible that he picked up a few good things from Ryan, but I think that was greatly overshadowed by everything else.

Later on down the line when the Big Fart happened and Sheriff lost Ryan, I imagine that it took an incredible toll on him. Ryan was Sheriff’s only friend, and only family, and he just lost that in the blink of an eye.

After that, Sheriff wandered aimlessly for a while, waiting for the mutation to overtake him. When he realized it wasn’t overtaking him, he decided to find a new purpose.

That purpose was likely something along the lines of “Ryan would want me to keep going.” Because honestly, he really didn’t have jackshit else to keep going for.

He also 110% has an unhealthy attachment to the star Ryan gave him. He doesn’t go anywhere without it.

He was probably a loner for a while too, he became a treasure hunter(thief) to get by, and then racked up debt with Brutux by stealing from the land he had claimed.

Knowing Sheriff, he definitely knew it was Brutux’s territory and thought he could get away with stealing.

(This reminds me, i need to ramble about Brutux at some point, because my guy is a gang leader and it’s just never addressed???)

I think Shooter was the first person Sheriff had trusted in a while, because although he definitely seemed hesitant at first, he also seemed gullible. He was willing to trust someone he met not a few hours ago.

He was desperate to be around people again, to have someone like Ryan to trust and rely on. Shooter did take quick advantage of that though, which I feel like should’ve hurt Sheriff more than it did.

(Another reminder, i need to ramble about Sheriff and Shooters gayness. (SLOW ROMANTIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS DURING THAT SCENE ABOVE, I SWEAR IT. ALSO JUST LOOK AT HOW SHOOTER LOOKS AT HIM! ITS SO GAY!!!))

Anyways I think thats all I got folks, hope you enjoyed the rambling! :3

[danepopfrippery]

All of it so good! I spotted the freddie writers i think broken up in a few credits (theyre freelance so makes sense). Clearly death threats worked…dont learn from that.

If somehow ur reading and dont get spoilers coming well they are so its on u at this point. Random thoughts below

*Loved Derek’s fashion choices! Also his lil bat jazz hands flourish srsly a+.

*Nandor…incorrectly…thinking its Guillermo’s bday and throwing him a dinner and buying him a gift was very sweet…despite being book ended between insults about never turning him and Nandor not seeming too worried if he died

*my sis and i clocked right away how he wouldnt let guillermo sit next to him at guillermos special fake bday dinner. Nandor u ho. U make him reas u bedtime stories AND brush ur hair but wont sir next to him cuz horny? I refuse to believe any other reason

*WHERE IS THE HELL HOUND?! I MUST HAVE THE HELL HOUND! And i will be angrier than freddie ep if hes gone.

*is it weird Guillermo went to you…gene and the sire for turning advice after learning its forbidden? Also im choosing to believe this is a new superstition cuz they didnt seem arsed by it

*rip neighbor dude. Ppl are right its plot holey look its still the freddie writers in there ok?!

*sooo much bad turning in these two eps it was srsly keystone cops style and i was laughing my ass off despite being like derek irl

*nadja u bitch. Making nadjita dance and show her pussy is MEAN! You drunken slut. I dis enjoy taint that can write checks tho

*another plothole: it always seemed nandor was as shit at laszlo as hypnosis and i always took it of all 3 he was the worst (nadja the best). Animal control anyone? Well now he gets to be a pig amongst guinea pigs he’ll brag of this forever

*’cuz his brains fucked’ had me rolling. Also laszlo u liar u hypnotized him when trying to kiss him got u nowhere

*i was off my face w drug blood was also a good line

*colin didnt do much here but his waiter job and greek bit were great

*i am glad despite pussy showing nadjita has more movement finally

*laszlo has no god damned right to look that tasty

*the shit and fart jokes were mostly flat. I was waiting for laszlo to say he thought guillermo was hitting on him or something. That said seems we get jealous nandor next week and thats all i want

*poor guide, poor sean. Mikey u cunt

*the quebecois thing delighted my sis who studied there (france ppl hate ice right? But $8 wine is primo so u know)

*poor guillermo. Hes clearly a slayer vamp hybrid and very sad about it. Cant wait to see Nandor learn this. Also u will never convince me he could kill guillermo. Other than his eyes watering Guillermo has beat his ass like a rented mule twice now. Cheating or not (i say not)

*seems death threats also made note of make nandor better cuz hes followed a hippy self help book. Its kinda sweet cuz thats where his minimal kindness to guillermo comes from. I dont believe he ever through benji a bday dinner let alone convinced the others to come along

*colin seems aware hes been out of the job game for awhile but makes no indication if he knows why. Laszlo treats him basically same as always and vice versa

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Ok, It Gets Better, Then It Gets Worse

BEFORE YOU READ! KNOW THAT THERE'S SOME CRAZY SHIT IN THIS! VERY BIG TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR INSANE KINKS! DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT I SWEAR! THIS FIC IS NSFW TO THE MAX! DO NOT READ THIS AND COME AT ME I HAVE WARNED YOU!

I decided to read some more of I Love Atsushi to see if it gets better or worse.

And.... it's.... ok?

I mean, a few parts after the first one are ok....

There's plenty of incest, but I've read enough of that to be ok with it. (For fics, in this instance)

And then.... it gets sooo much worse.

I've never read the words dog pussy so fucking much.

No joke, there's a part where the reader is a dog and Atsushi's just super down bad.

And I'd be fine with that. I'm ok with bestiality shit for fics.

But the term dog pussy just made me so uncomfortable.

And I didn't get too much further after that.

There's a part where the reader and Atsushi go to a bating cage.

(This is gonna get weird, so I'm cutting it here. Yes, it's weirder than the dog pussy imo)

And there's lots of very public sex in this.

Like, there's people bating in the cages beside Atsushi and reader. (It's implied anyway)

And reader just strips their pants while Atsushi shoves the bat up their pussy.

And not just a little bit, no no no.

From the end of the bat all the way to the fucking handle.

(And I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that!)

And then he just picks up the reader while they still have the bat inside them by the bat's fucking handle, and swings them.

And fucking hits a ball with the reader on the FUCKING BAT!

I had to stop after that.

It was too ridiculous.

But I will say, there's some shit in their I don't mind.

Ima check and see if there's any piss kink kinda shit, but besides that, I probably won't read too much more.

But I'll keep whoever is actually interested in this in the know.

(But also, I'm still amazed at the author's brain for coming up with this. I fucking love twisted people. Never a dull moment)

EDIT FROM LATER: I COMPLETELY FORGOT I WAS GONNA DO THIS SEGMENT!

I'm gonna read some of the requests that were given to the author!

And they're all somewhat worse than what I've just talked about.

(This post is so long and I'm so sorry....)

Something for a 20 inch cock and another request for a 20 foot cock

Maggots on Atsushi's dick

Vore with Dazai and Atsushi

Atsushi, Dazai, Akutagawa and Atsushi wants everyone to peel his foreskin off and his dick falls off and they have to stitch it back on

Clothed sex (the most normal one here)

Lactation (this one's pretty normal too I guess)

Atsushi fucking tied up sleeping reader (Ok, more of these are ok than I thought)

Horny Atsushi with 2 dicks

Atsushi fart fetish (???)

Reader is Atsushi's waifu body pillow

Reader is a public toilet? He shits and pisses in them? Then he fucks them wtf? (also, this is the 20 ft cock one)

Btw, that 20 inch cock one involved Atsushi getting stuck inside the reader forever

Umm.... Fiona (from Shrek), Reader, and Atsushi have a threesome.... Bestiality and long double cock for Atsushi

Atsushi fucking reader in front of entire agency (Finally, a semi-normal one)

Atsushi wears reader's skin as a skin suit (Never fucking mind)

Gun sex..... Doggy style.... Threatens to shoot reader if they cum early..... Still shoots reader anyway and leaves them to rot.... wtf....

Reader has scoliosis so Atsushi drills a hole in them (???) and snaps their bones back into place WTF?!

Atsushi fucks an orange and makes reader eat it with his cum inside (After those last few, this is kinda ok)

And then a wholesome picnic where reader and Atsushi eat pickles

I know these are probably just for shock factor (just like the entire fic itself), but some of these are sooo fucked up it makes me nervous.

Alright, I'm never going back to this so I'm just gonna list some of the rest of the parts because fuck this.

Poop kink

Body swap

Reader is tinker bell (oh hell no I know how that one's going down)

Doctor Atsushi

Atushi and Fyodor

Wax kink (this one's ok)

Atsushi has tentacle dick

Camgirl

Daddy kink (please no)

Piss kink (I'm checking this out. I'll update and say how it was) (Update: Not my kind of piss kink, but not as bad as some of the other chapters)

Reader is worm

I had to click on this one cause I couldn't read the full title (it's about bondage) and a warning says "Questionable use of organs" TF DOES THAT MEAN?!

Reader is bike (because of course)

I CLICKED ON ANOTHER ONE AND IT SAYS STOMACH ACID KINK IM NOT SLEEPING TONIGHT WTF

Oh.... last chapter is.... normal vanilla sex? Ima check this and see if this is true. Will my eyes finally be ok? (This chapter was perfectly fine, but the comments were all like "This is boring! Bring us the skin suit! Bring us shit and vomit and blood and gore!" And I swear, these people were feral. They were so pissed at not having a fucked up chapter)

I swear, I'm never coming back to this unless that piss kink one is good. (Those are hard to find, don't judge me)

[creepypastalover97]

K time for another creepypasta au headcannon

Today’s headcannon is going to be about

Clockwork

Ok time for the headcannon

. Honestly?

She didn't go to Slender for protection, Slender went to her.

. Her first encounter with the Pastas was when her and Masky got into a " little " scuffle that resulted in Tim having multiple stab wounds on his torso, and Natalie with a bruised, empty eye socket. This was before they had introduced themselves. - She was pissed that she had to get a new clock.

. Slender came to her multiple times, although she refused. That is, until he took her by force with he help of Jeffery, the Proxies, and Eyeless Jack.

. She hates all of them. Masky and Jeff especially. Except toby. She loves toby.

. She's incredibly reckless with almost anything she does. The first few times she went on missions, she had to be watched to make sure the cops didn't show up, and that she didn't decide to have a death match with them.

.Aggressive as fuck, she loves to argue and debate and is super competitive too. She has no boundaries or filters when arguing and doesn’t care if you cry, sorry

. This girl is straight up Doja Cat Tia Tamara vibes. She don’t give a fuck about nobody! Except Toby. She does care about him.

. She swears way too much. She owes too much to the swear jar.

. Other than in fights she’s pretty chill though and she has a fantastic laugh, it’s deep, loud, throaty, and super contagious

. Natalie while she enjoyed drawing and such before eveyrthing happened, she never really wanted a career out of it

It’s more of a hobby, something too pass the time rather then something she practices

. Janey Janey Janey Janey—

They are best friends :>

They are so freaking loud together omfg. They scream laugh and run laps in the mansion when one of them tells a joke. It’s ridiculous.

. She doesn’t really get along with Circe , but she’s doesn’t hate her in any sense. They have a few quarrels here and there, but they are never enough to damage their relationship

. Her and Toby have thought about getting married and settling down. They aren’t too sure yet, though. Even though they’ve been together for 6+ years now. Speaking of which, yall have been together for 6+ years and yall STILL yell at each other and accuse each other of farting in the bed?? 🧐 seems sus but okay

. Her face got really infected from the eye and the stitches, so EJ helped her out. Now she owes him like $100 still. 😬

. She had the clock taken out since it kept getting infected and had it replaced with a glass eye

. Somehow she has managed to evade all pop culture knowledge. You could say ‘oh look! There’s Chris Hemsworth!’ and she’d have no idea what you are talking about. The only celebrity she knows and respects is our lord and savior, Bill Nye.

. She is always the first to lose at monopoly. She’s also the one who throws the board at the end of the game

. She likes the forest and goes on walks a lot. She collects pretty flowers and presses them in between pages in her sketchbook

. She got a new giraffe plushie. She sleeps with it :)

. She hates smoking, and she hates all alcohol except ice-cold vodka.

. Clock absolutely has washboard abs, my girl is ripped as fuck and could probably tear a phone book in half if she wanted to

. really good at card games and gambling, though half the time she is confused sure if the other pastas even know what they’re playing the same game, Circe on the other hand just rolls with it

Circe, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Ben, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Toby, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Natalie, extremely fucking confused: What are we playing?!

. she has a german shepherd dog named Luci

. Bitch needs to drink some water, she’s surviving off of monster and 7/11 coffee

. She’s interested in shooting or knife throwing, learning something long ranged but ya know, no depth perception

. Lactose intolerant, but still has dairy anyways

Whenever she gets sick it’s 50/50- too much to drink or she chugged milk earlier that day

. Is a huge twilight fan. Owns all the moves and books. When she found out about Circe’s love for her books and book collection, well it went like this:

“Wow,circe really like books”- clockwork

“ Yes, she sure does”- slenderman

“do you think she read twilight?”-clockwork

“Oh god!clockwork don’t!”-slenderman

Circe throws bible at clockwork

“I’m not trashy enough for that shit”- Circe

. Owns a motorcycle with a side car for toby

. She, like Brian, has a few stick and poke tattoos from when she was younger

. Has a few piercings too, is scared too get more after the piercing gun she got online got stuck and wouldn’t unclamp from around her ear

. Collects dream catchers

. She doesn’t go by Natalie anymore.

Overall clockwork is a bad bitch,with a heart♥️

P.s none of this is canon, so don’t take seriously if you don’t want to, so don’t hate,if you do take it somewhere else. Thank you, bye 👋🏻

P.s.s. Go check out Circe’s origin story on archive of our own. It’s called rabbits are not what they seen.

[luis-block]

Pick your own Smut, Kudaai pt 1

warnings: NSFW 🔞, Suggestive, mention of size difference and scent play

‘Come back to the everlasting forge to talk to me, please.

-Kudaai ‘

Ah, Kudaai never was one for writing letters. To your surprise he even wrote you one to begin with, as he much preferred to talk in person that write on paper with his forge torn hands. You are actually very flattered by the simple letter made with ok penmanship, this at least let know he cared enough to figure the situation out. “I’ve got to teach you how to write better, old man.” You giggled saying your nickname for him as you get ready to head over.

As you walk to where he is in Anchordeep, you wonder how much of your confession he heard. You talked so fast, and he looked so stunned that it was hard to tell how much he caught of it. You blush and feel jittery as you approach the forge, hoping he wasn’t going to give you another long-winded metaphor that would usually turned into a pun or joke. The hope was that he wasn’t going to poke fun at you over this or rudely deny you, as you walked into where the everlasting forge currently sat.

Kudaai sat stiffly, but relaxed a bit when you came into view. “Hello, little flower. I was starting to worry that you had gotten lost.” He said trying to lighten your anxiety. “I took so long because I was amazed over that you wrote me a letter, old man! All of the thousands of years and I have never so much seen you with a quill or with writing paper.” You laughed as he lightly smiled. “But, um, how much of what I said last night did you catch exactly?” You said, looking away to look at the forge that always had a mystical tint to its flames. But while you weren’t paying attention, Kudaai slowly got up to stand up in front of you. You didn’t notice until he took the final step, your neck having to crank up to look at the tall demi-gods yellow eyes.

“All of it, (Y/N)…. But would you really want to be with an old man like me? Yes you are five thousand years old, but I have been around since the dawn of time on this plane of existence.” He said with a serious tone. You thought the question was silly, just because he has more knowledge than you didn’t matter. You were more than old enough to be with an old fart, as an old fart yourself! “Well that is a dumb question, Kudaai! Of course I would, you know I’m also an old fart in the forests too right?” You say with conviction. He looks at you with a blank look as you start to smell a musky scent that made you start to feel hot and lightheaded.

He picks you up to be face to face with a laugh, a look that could be compared to hot embers looking into your eyes as he walks back over to his tent. “Good, my little flower. Guess we need to work on that family you want so bad right now, hm?”