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#like the goal is for it not to be visible
stayskinny01 · 20 hours
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reasons to keep restricting
to gain and keep control
to prove everyone wrong
for the visible collarbones
visible ribs
tiny wrists
to see the bruising
to be petite
to float when you walk
to be the thinnest one in the room
to have a clear view on priorities
to gain a routine
to be able to get picked up by him
to be able to sit on his lap
to be fragile like a flower
for the clothes
to have control over something
to have control over something
to have control over something
to have control over something
to be the thinnest
to be the thinnest
to be the thinnest
to be the thinnest
to hit and keep hitting your goals
to prove yourself wrong
to be the prettiest
to become perfect
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blackpearlblast · 23 hours
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we are looking for someone who can post regularly on behalf of the campaign for maryam and her family. ideally someone with more followers would be better but if your posts regularly get reblogs that would be great too. the goal would be to make a post talking about her campaign and put it in as many relevant tags as might help (see the original posts i have made for other people's campaigns for an example, you can copy and paste the tags from them if that makes it easier) and reblog the post at least once a day to keep it visible. if the post seems to lose traction, make a new post. if it's alright with you, i can also put you in contact with a relative of maryam's who is trying to help coordinate their campaign and may give you updates to post from time to time.
they have raised very little money so far and it would be an amazing help to have someone who can post regularly for them. please reply to this post if this is something you can do for them! it would seriously mean the world to everyone trying to support them right now. this is a family who deserves to live just like everyone else and it has been so hard to find any assistance for them, even in the form of just getting people to share their fundraiser online. thank you so so much in advance.
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Hello! I enjoy your writing. Could you write something about Donna and reader already being in a relationship and someone trying to break in at night or something and hurt reader, therefore hurt Donna? Donna tortures and kills the intruder in front of reader, kind of scaring her but reassures her she would never hurt her. Angst/fluff perhaps?
Yesss!!!! Thank you for your words!!!! Thanks for your request too, I hope it isn't too dark... Anyway, I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))
Safe and sound
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Dark themes, slightly dark Donna, Minors DNI, mentions of violence, angst but with a happy ending, Donna being Donna, fluff
Word count: 8,639
Summary: You were really scared...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
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A walk through the woods was always reassuring. Feeling the fresh air, the snow, the sunlight, brought a smile to your face. Your steps were slow and your hand was intertwined with hers. Everything was perfect.
You were never a lucky girl. Your past was complicated, it had shadows that few people knew about but, luckily, they didn't devour you. Fearful and shy, those were the words that defined you. Apart from that, you were a normal, ordinary villager. A normal life, a normal family, the blessing of the Black Gods... There was nothing that could explain why that woman was walking hand in hand with you, why you were walking next to Donna Beneviento.
Perhaps it was the glint of normality in your eyes, the passive and conformist attitude of any ordinary villager that caught the attention of the youngest Lord. Your smile was nothing special, but for her it was something precious, something she should treasure, something she wanted to be hers.
You, of course, were also curious, attracted to that woman in black, to that covered face, to the serene darkness that always accompanied her. Little by little you achieved the goal of getting to know her, of discovering that most of the legends that spoke of Lady Beneviento were wrong, most of them.
Yes, she was a disturbed, sick woman, but she was also charming, she never gave you any reason to relate her name or her appearance with the word monster. Kissing her, confessing your feelings to her marked the beginning of the best stage of your life. You left the village behind, the shadows of your past, to enjoy the present.
The love you felt was intense, inexhaustible despite the jealous and extremely possessive nature of the lady in black. In any case, you would never abandon her. You would strive to make her sick mind understand that you were hers, only hers.
Despite those flaws, surely due to years of horrible loneliness, Donna was everything to you, just as you were to her. She was beautiful, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. Her scar was of no importance. Visible or not, you all had some kind of scar, a memory from the past that would be hard to forget.
None of that mattered to you, you simply loved her, you couldn't live without her. There was nothing more important to you than love, which can do everything, which cures everything. Little by little those jealousies became less and less frequent, although to think that they would disappear completely would be foolish.
“I love these walks,” you murmured, getting closer to the lady, leaning on her as you walked.
She leaned down to kiss you through her black veil.
“Technically it is not a walk, tesoro,” the lady whispered, laughing shyly, with that hoarse voice. Too many years of loneliness. “You are just accompanying me.”
“Yes, well…” you sighed, shaking your head. “But we’re walking at the same time, the two of us together…”
“The three of us!” Angie shrieked, Donna's irreverent doll, who walked nervously next to you. “Learn to count!”
“Yes, the three of us,” you said, rolling your eyes but not losing your smile. “Donna”
“Mm?” the lady in black murmured, looking at you through the cloth, slowing down her steps.
“Do you know what the meeting is about?” you asked curiously, sighing as the village came closer and closer, putting an end to that quiet and romantic pace.
“No,” she answered dryly, looking ahead again. “Why do you ask? I thought you weren't interested in meetings.”
“Oh, and I'm not interested in them, at all,” you joked, with a mischievous smile. “I just want to hear your voice…”
Donna laughed softly, moving out of the way, grabbing your waist and lifting her black veil so she could give you a quick kiss on the lips.
“Tesoro…” she sighed, caressing your cheek as you tried to steal a few more kisses from her. “(Y/N), the, the meeting…”
“Sorry, I can't help it,” you apologized with blushing cheeks, walking back to the village. Her response was a romantic laugh, playing with your hand as she resumed her walk.
“I don’t understand why you insist on coming with me,” she said after a few moments of comfortable silence. “You could have stayed home.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really like being alone in that big, dark house…” you said in a joking tone. Your heart started to beat faster.
“You don’t like being at home then,” Donna said, in the same tone as always, one unable to reveal for itself the feelings of the lady in black. Interpreting what she said, what she felt was the most complicated task in your relationship. You didn’t even know if one day you would be able to do it.
“Donna…” you said rolling your eyes and moving her hand in a reprimand. “You know I don’t mean that. I just don’t like being alone.”
“You're never alone,” she said, firmly establishing a comfortable truth for her, the assurance that your love wasn’t a lie. “Even if I'm not here, I'm always thinking about you, always.”
“That's romantic… And disturbing,” you whispered with a mischievous smile.
The lady in black put a hand around your waist, pushing you to walk faster.
“Me thinking about you is disturbing?” she asked distrustfully, forcing you to roll your eyes again and lean over her shoulder. “Sei la mia ragazza…”
“You know what? Let's enjoy the walk instead of talking in languages ​​I don't understand, okay, darling?” you asked, shaking your head as you bit your lip.
Of course, Donna was a strange woman, but you loved her more and more.
“Oh Mihaela,” you said once in the village, letting Donna go and walking towards your best friend.
Well, at least you wouldn't be alone wandering through the snowy landscape. You didn't know why, but the subtle growl of the lady in black made you think that she didn't like it.
“(Y/N),” the young woman said, cautiously approaching you, lowering her head before the lady in black.
“Who is this?” Donna asked with a dangerous hiss.
“Oh, right, this is Mihaela, she's my best friend,” you said with a smile, extending your hand towards the girl, who smiled politely. “Mihaela, she's…”
“I'm sure she already knows me, (Y/N),” the lady interrupted, clasping her hands in front of her body. You didn't know if it was a polite posture or on the contrary, an intimidating one.
“Y-Yes,” your friend stammered, with her head bowed. “It's, it's a pleasure, Lady Beneviento.”
“Mm,” the woman in black murmured, pulling your arm slightly to move you away from the girl.
“What's wrong?” you asked, giving Mihaela an apologetic look. “Hey, let me go, you're hurting me.”
“I'm sorry,” Donna apologized. “I thought you came to accompany me, not to hang out with that... Girl.”
“The truth is that I found her by chance. We've been friends for many years, Donna, there's no place for your jealousy here,” you said, crossing your arms. “Come on, repeat after me: there's no place for jealousy, I like you spending time with your friends while I’m in that boring meeting,” you said jokingly.
The lady sighed deeply, shaking her head.
“Va bene…” Donna murmured, bending down to pick Angie up from the ground. “But I hope to find you here when I get back.”
“Aye, mom…” you mocked, causing the lady to turn around abruptly, growling in annoyance at your comment. “Honey…” you said in a lower tone, moving closer to kiss her over the black fabric.
“Should I stay and watch the fool?” Angie asked, while the lady ran the back of her hand over your cheek, as if she was thinking about something.
“No, it's not necessary,” she finally said, pinching your skin affectionately.
“Donna,” you said when the woman turned around, walking away from you. She turned slowly, looking at you from afar. “I love you.”
Her response was a slight nod, surely followed by an imperceptible whisper that said: me too.
Laughing in a loving way, you walked back to your friend, who kept her head down.
“Hey, can you raise your head, your neck is going to hurt,” you joked, pointing ahead so she could start walking next to you.
“I'm not used to it,” Mihaela said with an embarrassed smile. “I still can't believe you're living with a Lord.”
“Bah, it's not that big of a deal,” you said, making a gesture with your hand to make it less important.
“Don't be offended, but your girlfriend is really scary,” Mihaela commented, sitting on a nearby bench.
“I'm not offended, I'm quite used to hearing it,” you said amused. “Besides, Donna is a sweetheart, it's just that people don't know her.”
“That must be it...” your friend sighed, looking at her hands, which played with each other, nervously.
Mihaela was always your best friend, you both lived close by, you played together when you were little and you shared many joys, and also suffering, one that you barely remembered.
“Hey, are you okay?” you asked when you saw your friend's attitude, a bit stranger, as if she was extremely tired. “You don't look well.”
“Oh, yes, yes...” she said, avoiding your gaze. You knew her, she was lying. You raised your eyebrows to let her know that you didn't believe her words and finally, she sighed. “Well, the truth is that I don't sleep well lately.”
“Have you been having nightmares again?” you asked in a lower tone, rubbing her back in an understanding way.
Mihaela shook her head and looked around, as if she was scared.
“It's, it's nonsense,” the girl said, shy, with the same serious expression, one that was not very common in her. “It must be my imagination.”
“Ahem, you should take advantage of the fact that I'm here to tell me everything that worries you, like we always did, remember?” you said, starting to worry yourself, you didn't have a good feeling.
Your friend had a simple life, there was only one thing that could worry her that much.
“A few days ago I was taking a walk with Igor, you know, near our house and... And... The cabin on the hill, you know... The house of...” she explained, lowering the tone of her voice.
All the nerves in your body were on alert.
“Yes, I know what house you mean,” you interrupted, not wanting to bring back the ghosts of your past, some horrible ones. “What's wrong with that house?”
“Um, I... I don't want to scare you, (Y/N) but, but... I, I thought I saw someone inside,” Mihaela whispered, biting her lip.
“But, but that's impossible, it's-it's been years since anyone lived there,” you said with a trembling voice, just like your hands.
“I know, I know but...” your friend said, looking at the sky. “(Y/N), what if he's back?”
You shook your head effusively, unintentionally letting all the traumas of your past come back to the present. A knot in your stomach, cold sweats... Symptoms that you already knew began to punish you.
“N-No, I don't think so, he, he died,” you said nervously.
“You know as well as I do that it’s not true,” Mihaela said with a fearful whisper. “I'm scared, I think, I think he'll come for me.”
“No, no, no,” you denied, taking your friend's hand. “He, he hasn't come back and, besides, he, he didn't have anything against you, his target always was me.”
“Tell it to my sister,” the young woman murmured, with an air of sadness for that tragic memory. “I envy you, you know?”
“Me?” you asked, pointing at yourself.
Mihaela nodded with a fearful sigh.
“Yes, he probably won't dare to do anything to you because you live with Donna. You're very lucky to have someone like her who can protect you,” she explained, shaking her head.
“Yeah, well, sometimes I wish she wouldn't protect me that much…” you murmured, looking around in fear. The ominous silence of the village accentuated that old fear even more. “Hey, don't worry… I-I'm sure it's just nonsense.”
“I have a bad feeling, (Y/N)… I know it's stupid considering your situation but… Be careful,” your friend said, with a worried look.
“Eh, nothing's going to happen… He hasn't come back, I'm sure what you saw was a shadow, or an animal or… Whatever,” you said, trying to reassure yourself. “Besides, you know, you know he's coming for me, you have nothing to worry about.”
“I hope, I hope you're right and it was just my imagination,” Mihaela commented, causing silence to reign.
No, he died… Did he really?
You thought that this talk with your friend could be beneficial, but it was the opposite. Fear, an almost forgotten fear returned to your mind, to your body. As you walked back home with the lady in black, you looked at the forest as a threat and not as a romantic refuge.
“Stop squeezing me so much,” Donna protested, loosening the strong grip of your hand on her arm. You obeyed, as if you had just come out of a dream, or a nightmare. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing, I'm sorry,” you said, looking everywhere except at the lady, who growled annoyed by your strange attitude. “I'm just, I'm just glad you're with me.”
“So that's why you intend to tear my arm off?” she asked, holding you tighter, pulling you so you could keep walking. “You're very sweet, tesoro…”
“Yeah, well,” you said, laughing fakely, getting a little closer. “What was that?” you asked, digging your feet into the snow and looking at a nearby bush, one that moved suspiciously.
“Mm?” Donna muttered, looking at the same spot. “What are you talking about?”
“I, I heard something in that bush,” you stammered, cowardly taking refuge behind Donna. “Can you, can you take a look?”
“The bush? What nonsense!” Angie protested, laughing at your irrational fear.
“Go,” the lady ordered the doll, who obeyed with a grunt as the lady held your shaking hand.
Angie moved the bush, even crawled inside, coming out again and shrugging.
“Nothing,” Angie said. “What’s wrong, silly?”
“I just, I just thought… Ne, nevermind,” you muttered, running a hand over your forehead.
Donna turned around with a confused sigh, placing a lock of hair behind your ear.
“Amore mio, you're shaking, what's wrong?” she asked softly, taking your hands and squeezing them tightly.
“It's nothing, it's just that... I just didn't realize how sinister this forest is,” you said, faking a smile in a pathetic way.
“We'd better go back home then,” Donna said, with a tender laugh, caressing your cheek and leading you by the hand. You looked at that bush, at all the places where a person thirsty for revenge could hide.
That was just the beginning.
Your friend's words haunted you during the day and harassed you during the night. He couldn't have gone back, it was impossible, but you weren't able to accept it. In every dark corner, in every gap you saw the danger again.
An unpleasant return to the past, ghosts haunting you, whispering to you that you were in danger again, that the horrible man had returned.
Your character changed. You always enjoyed the outdoors, the forest, the surroundings of the mansion, but you didn't anymore. You preferred Donna's arms to the insecurity of the outside world.
She never knew, you never talked to her about it. She simply, as expected, welcomed this change in your personality as something good for her. You couldn't blame her, really, you couldn't. She didn't know and you never wanted her to.
A perfect afternoon for a walk turned into a boring afternoon of reading. Well, at least it would be boring if you weren't hugging Donna, if her soft caresses didn't pass through your hair, without her perfume soothing your fears.
Her kisses, the only moment when the lady interrupted her reading, were like a reminder to your frightened mind: she was with you and nothing would ever happen by her side.
“We finally meet again...” That terrible voice reached your ears and you panicked.
“No! It can't be! Help!” you screamed, running without moving forward, at the mercy of that monster. “No, no, no!”
“(Y/N), (Y/N)...” a soft voice interrupted you as you moved your arms, while hitting the body of the one you thought was your enemy. It wasn't.
When you opened your eyes the nightmare was over. Sweat ran down your body and your wrists were held by the lady in black, who looked at you with a frown.
“Donna...” you sighed, throwing yourself into her arms irrationally. “Donna...”
“Tesoro, calm down, it was just a nightmare,” the woman in black said, holding you tightly against her. “Shh, that's it, I'm here with you…”
“A…? A nightmare?” you repeated scared, filling the black dress with tears of terror.
“Yes, you've fallen asleep,” she said, kissing your head and grabbing you by the shoulders. “Look at me, look at me, tesoro…”
“Shit, I… I don't…” you stammered, shaking your head.
“You've been behaving strangely for a while. I'm worried about you,” she said in a serious voice, wiping the tears from your face.
“It-It's nothing, I…” you murmured, stopping shaking due to her caresses, her gestures of affection.
“You're soaked…” Donna whispered, checking the sweat that wet your clothes. “Come, I'm going to prepare a bath for you.”
“I, I… Thank you, Donna,” you said, nodding gratefully.
The hot water relaxed you, but the fear was still very present. The nightmares haunted you even when Donna held you, even when her body gave you the security you needed. Nothing worked and nothing would, maybe it was time to tell her the truth, maybe then you could forget about it.
“Bellisima…” Donna said as she lovingly combed your hair, something she loved to do, of course, covering you in kisses in the process. “You're calmer, aren't you?”
You nodded, looking at your face in the mirror. The black shadows that had settled under your eyes were the last sign to embolden you to confess what it was that scared you.
“Donna, I have, I have to talk to you,” you said with a broken voice, turning to look at her and getting up from the stool, sitting on the bed and pointing at the mattress for her to do the same.
“Mm,” she murmured with a confused look, leaving the comb on the dresser and obeying your signals. “I’m listening.”
Her voice wasn’t an understanding one, it was rather fearful. You didn't know if that was good or bad.
“There is one thing I haven't told you…” you said, playing with your hands, separated by one of hers, which she squeezed tightly.
“You're scaring me,” she said, staring at you, her breathing altered. “Have I done something wrong? Do you want to leave me?”
“What? No, of course I don’t,” you said frowning and taking your hand away from hers, annoyed by her fears. “It has nothing to do with you. It's, it's something about, about my past.”
“You fucked that slut, didn't you?” the lady asked in a haughty tone, with darkness conquering her gaze.
“No, Donna! What's wrong with you?” you said angrily.
“There's nothing you haven't told me, (Y/N), so I guess it's something I’m not going to like,” she excused herself awkwardly.
You rolled your eyes and pulled the sheets with your hand, making an effort to tell her the truth.
“Actually, there is something,” you said, looking away. “But, but let me explain it to you before you start with your paranoia, can you do that?”
She nodded indignantly, crossing her arms.
“Va bene, talk,” she indicated to you, with an unpleasant gesture of her head.
You ignored that possessiveness, that arrogance, and took a breath, expelling it slowly to relax.
“I was about 8 years old, I was, I was very little,” you began, remembering while clenching your teeth. “I always went out to play with Mihaela, with my friends, you know, kid stuff, running through the woods, playing tag…”
Donna nodded for you to continue.
“There was, there was a man… A villager who, who was always there. No matter what I was doing, he was always… Watching me. At first I thought he just lived there but… It wasn't true,” you continued, earning the full attention of the lady, who didn't take the darkness away from her gaze.
It was the first time in years that you were that nervous. You thought you would never have to tell it again, that you would never have to live it again.
“That man followed me everywhere… He watched me from afar. I didn't give it any importance until that distance began to decrease,” you said, shaking your head. “The, the years went by and… When, when I was 14, that man kept spying on me, watching me… He was getting closer and closer, I felt his eyes looking through my window at night.”
You had to take a breath again.
“I, I can't forget that sinister smile, those eyes that seemed to… Undress me…” you sighed, with tears in your eyes. “I thought he would never go that far but, one night he, he caught me while I was coming home and… He tried… He tried to…”
“(Y/N), calm down, speak clearly, please,” your girlfriend said, getting a little closer, listening to you attentively.
“He wanted to hurt me… He said that I was his since I was a child and that he could finally… take me,” you murmured, embarrassed.
“Did he get it?” Anger burned in the words of the lady in black, her breathing became agitated again.
“No, luckily my father went out to look for me and scared him off before he could get any further,” you explained, relieved to remember how your father pointed his shotgun at that monster. “But that wasn't enough for him, because that same night… He k-killed my best friend's sister. It didn't matter that there was no evidence, I knew it was him, we all knew.”
“What happened then?” the lady asked again, with a calmer tone, lifting your chin.
“My father and Mihaela's went after him. They chased him through the forest and… They say, they say he fell off a cliff and died.”
“Mm,” Donna murmured, frowning. “If he died, why are you worried?”
“Because I never thought he would really died but… Time passed and I never saw him again, so I stopped worrying until, until the other day, when Mihaela told me that she had seen someone in his old cabin,” you finally said, holding back a sob. “I'm, I'm scared, Donna, what if he's back?”
“Why didn't you tell me before?” she asked, ignoring your fears, with a somber but a not-too-dark look.
“I've already told you, because I never thought he would come back or… Or that he could. Donna, I'm, I'm so scared…” you sobbed, leaning towards her so she could hug you, so she could tenderly press your head against her chest.
She sighed but gave you that protective hug, those soothing kisses on your hair.
“You must forget about that, amore mio,” she whispered after a few minutes of crying, gently pushing you away and wiping your tears. “You have nothing to fear.”
“He swore he would come back for me… He swore it…” you stammered.
“(Y/N), stop it, stop crying,” the lady scolded you, in a harsh tone. “It's absurd.”
“Absurd? Didn't you hear me? He'll come for me,” you protested, shaking your head in disbelief.
“No one is going to come for you,” Donna said, cupping your face with her hands. “You're mine, tesoro, no one will lay a hand on you, do you hear me? I protect you, I will never let anything happen to you, besides, surely that friend of yours is stupid and she just imagined it.”
“Do you mind stopping insulting my friends?” you asked with irony, moving away from her and crossing your arms. “Mihaela would never say something like that to me if she wasn't sure. Donna, he killed her sister.”
“That man is dead, (Y/N),” she sighed, struggling with you so she could caress you again. “You have to forget about that. You can't live scared like that.”
“I can't believe you don't understand…” you said with an offended look, open-mouthed. “You don't know what it's like to feel these things, to feel someone stalking you.”
“I can't believe you trust me so little that you can’t stop being scared by silly things,” the woman in black responded, with a haughty gesture. “You're with me and nothing and no one will ever hurt you, do you hear me? So, forget about it and try to relax.”
“It's very easy to say,” you murmured, calmed by her caresses.
“You don't trust me” she said with a soft, tender tone, tilting her head slightly. “You don't think I can protect you?”
“Yes, yes, but…” you said with a sincere smile, caressing her cheek too, relaxing her incipient madness. “You know what? Y-you're right Donna, I have nothing to worry about.”
“Mm, come here,” she said, smiling in the same way and kissing you slowly, moistening her lips with yours, relaxing your spirit a bit.
Donna was right, with her by your side nothing would happen to you.
Of course that should have been reason enough for you to stop thinking about it, but it wasn't. Yes, your fear calmed down, but it was still present. You were still reluctant to leave the house if it wasn't with Donna by your side, every corner was a danger, every moment of solitude was a risk. The nightmares had diminished, but the worry was still impregnated in your mind, that was something you couldn't avoid.
The days passed quickly, the nights were slow, as if time itself was mocking and scaring you.
“Did you like dinner, tesoro?” Donna asked, completely calm, smiling like every time you tasted one of her dishes. “(Y/N),” she said in a more impatient voice, seeing that you were distracted, looking at the darkness through the window.
“Oh, sorry, yes, Donna, it was delicious,” you said, pretending you weren't watching your surroundings.
She smiled pleased, looking at you with a tenderness that always won you over, with that bright, loving eye you were addicted to.
“You're beautiful when you smile…” the lady murmured, with a seductive look, making your cheeks blush little by little.
“That's because I'm with you,” you said amused, looking at her in the same way, feeling how the warmth of your chest hid your fear.
“Mm, maybe you want to tell me those things while we watch a movie,” she whispered sensually, biting her lip. “Or while doing other things…”
“Tempting,” you joked, nodding slowly. “I like the plan.”
“I like you,” she said with her voice filled with desire, with the love she felt and never get tired of showing you. “I'm going to pick this up and... Well, we'll see what we do, okay, tesoro?”
“No, no, Donna,” you said kindly, getting up from the table and grabbing her wrist. “You've been cooking for a long time. Let me pick it up...”
“As you wish,” she said, taking advantage of the proximity to kiss you quickly on the lips, a kiss that said many things, that said how much Donna wanted to continue devouring your lips. “I'll wait for you in the basement.”
“Yes, go to prepare the bed, I mean, the movie,” you joked, shaking your head and pretending to be absent-minded.
Donna laughed amused, looking at you seductively before walking away from you.
You sighed in love, slowly picking up the plates and glasses. The creaking of the wood alerted you unexpectedly. You felt like someone was watching you. The plates moved in your hand, trembling dangerously and you looked at the source of the sound, a shadow hiding under the table.
“Boo!”
“Ahhh!” you screamed in fright, dropping the dishes with a horrible sound, breaking the plates and glasses into pieces.
The Angie doll came out from under the furniture, laughing out loud.
“Fool, what a scare!” she shrieked amused. “I scared you, I scared you,” she mocked while you, in shock, shook your head.
“A-Angie, damn it,” you said trembling, on the verge of a heart attack.
“(Y/N), are you okay?” Donna asked, running to your side while you bent down to pick up the plates, suffering the doll's mockery. “Che cos’è sucesso?”
“Nothing… Nothing… Angie scared me,” you said in a low voice, embarrassed by that exaggeration. Your heart was beating fast, the fear never went away.
“Angie!” Donna shouted furiously, making the doll run away from the place. “Let me help you.”
“Th-Thanks…” you murmured, looking down.
“You shouldn't be that scared, Angie always does the same,” the lady said, helping you with the plates. “(Y/N)”
“Mm?” you murmured, trying to pretend that you had regained your composure.
The lady in black slowly stood up with a cold look, crossing her arms.
“You're still scared of that man,” she said in a dark tone, looking at you almost with contempt.
“What? N-no, that doll scared me, that's all,” you lied clumsily, unintentionally agreeing with her.
“You know you can't, and shouldn't lie to me, (Y/N),” she hissed, without taking her accusing eye off yours.
“Fine... Yes, I'm still a bit scared,” you finally confessed, looking back at the window, where the trees mocked you by forming sinister shapes.
“I thought I told you to forget about that nonsense,” the lady scolded you, placing her finger on your chest. “Can't you hear what I'm saying?”
“You don't understand that I'm scared? Fuck, Donna, how can you be like that?” you protested, letting out the stress you had accumulated.
“If you're unable to be calm around me, it's because you don't trust me,” she said arrogantly.
“You always twist everything!” you screamed, clenching your fists on either side of your hips. “I haven’t any problem with you! I love you, Donna, I love you...” you sighed, trying to relax. “I'm just scared, fuck, I'm scared, isn't that logical? Are you so insane that you can't even understand me?”
The lady sighed, raising her gaze and turning around to leave.
“W-Wait, Donna, I didn't mean that,” you said hastily, grabbing her wrist, a grip she pulled away abruptly, too abruptly.
“If you don't feel safe with me... Just leave!” she shouted furiously, making you flinch.
“Donna, wait, wait,” you said nervously, trying to stop her. “It's not that, it's just that…”
“You're stupid!” Donna shrieked, approaching and making you back away. “You’re acting like a scared little girl when you should know that nothing will happen to you because you're with me, why is it so hard for you to understand?”
“You're the one who doesn't understand… Donna, calm down…”
“Stupida…” the lady hissed, with a look that hurt you, turning around and disappearing down the elevator hallway. “Porca puttana!”
“Damn it… Arghhhh!” you growled, kicking the wooden floor, unable to make Donna understand your fears, which were insignificant to her.
Getting some air was the best thing.
Trying to calm your breathing, you walked towards the exit, feeling the cool breeze relax your nerves. It was difficult to understand her anger, her rage, it always was. You knew she really wanted to help you in her own way, release you from those fears that were probably absurd.
Poor Donna had been alone for so long, she didn't know how to deal with such things. Your mind excused her for her attitude, as did your heart. You couldn't blame her for feeling desperate, for feeling that your trust in her didn't go far enough.
The fear was much greater. It surpassed the limits of your logic. Yes, that man would never approach the house of a Lord. It was a rational thought, one that Donna tried to make you understand in every possible way.
But you didn’t give in. You were not able to calm down. Maybe the fact of seeing herself unable to help you as she would like frustrated her. It wasn’t the first time that it happened, that Donna's problems came from her inability to cure yours.
Her anger wasn’t towards you and you knew it, it was towards herself, for not being able to help you when you needed it.
While you turned over everything that had happened, you contemplated the waterfall illuminated by the full moon, calming yourself. The landscape was calm, peaceful. Yes, she was right. You had to start to stop thinking about your past. You had to trust her.
To start with, you had to apologize, since surely, she wanted to do the same.
“Okay…” you whispered, moving away from the railing, freezing when you heard the creak of the door, the door you couldn't see due to your position. “Donna?”
There was no answer. A shiver ran down your spine as you approached the door. There was no one there.
“It, it must have been the wind,” you said, looking at the door, now half open.
Slowly, you closed it, sighing, walking slowly through the entrance, looking for the best way to fix things with the lady in black.
“Finally,” that dark voice scared you.
You felt someone grab you from behind, holding your neck with one arm. An evil laugh ran through your ears and your irrational fears disappeared. Someone had entered the house, someone you knew.
“Help!” you screamed, immediately silenced by a disgusting hand on your mouth. The grip was too strong to break free from.
He was back, that man was back, it wasn't paranoia, he had entered the mansion and he had caught you.
“Well, well...” he whispered. “How much time has passed?”
“Mmmm,” you protested, fighting against his grip, panic increasing your adrenaline.
“Don't bother talking... I never liked talkers, (Y/N)...” the man whispered sinisterly, warming your ear with his breath.
Using a bit of strength, you managed to remove his hand from your mouth, taking a breath.
“Donna! Donna!” you screamed, running away from the attacker, something he stopped by grabbing your ankle and dragging you towards him.
“Shhh don't scream, no one is going to come to help you, darling…” he said in a disgusting voice while you kept moving, desperate. “I think you stopped being that innocent little girl a long time ago.”
“Let me go!” you screamed desperately, kicking the intruder, looking for help with your eyes. “Donna!”
A strong blow to the head made you shut up. Your forehead was wet against the wooden floor, you were bleeding, dizzy, scared…
“Shut the fuck up,” he said, pulling your hair, satisfied by your inability to move. “Look at you… The little whore of Beneviento… You didn't know you had such high aspirations…” he mocked, laughing sinisterly. “I'm sorry, (Y/N), but I'm afraid that nutcase won't be able to protect you… Not when I've been… Looking for you for so long!”
“Donna…” you whispered in a small voice, trying to stop that animal from climbing on top of your body while licking his lips. “Please…”
“Calm down, you'll be back between that bitch's legs soon… But first… I think we have something pending…”
“No!” you screamed when those disgusting hands wandered over your clothes, moving them with a strength you didn't know you had, managing to punch him hard in the face and make him retreat.
“Damn bitch…” he hissed angrily as you crawled on the floor, looking for help. “I've got you!” he said triumphantly when he grabbed you by the hair, pulling it to bend you up. “This time you won't escape.”
You could only cry desperately, until you heard the hurried sound of heels.
“She was screaming, I swear Donna!” Angie's shrill voice was the next thing you heard, along with the sight of the doll pointing at you nervously. “Donna, Donna!”
“Don't move,” the man whispered in your ear, tightening his grip on your hair as you cried, while your blurry eyes watched the lady approach.
“D-Donna…” you said with a distorted voice.
The lady's eye widened, her chest rising and falling rapidly, but there was no shock or panic in her gaze, only serenity.
“Don't take another step,” the attacker threatened, taking out a knife and putting it to your throat. “Or I'll slit her throat from end to end.  (Y/N), you disappoint me…” he hissed in your ear, with a sinister smile, surely due to Donna's immobility. “Do you really prefer that disgusting nutcase over me?”
“Shut up!” Angie shrieked. “Donna, do something, quickly…”
“Donna…” you sobbed, looking at the lady, who remained serious, unmoved by the aggressor's painful words.
The lady took a slow step, then another. The grip on your hair tightened even more.
“I said don't come closer,” the man threatened, stabbing the knife into your skin harder. “Back off, you monster!”
Donna stopped, sighing and glancing at you out of the corner of her eye.
“Help me, please…” you begged, stretching your arm out as far as you could trying to reach the doll maker.
“No one touches what's mine,” Donna whispered, darkening her gaze and raising her arm towards the man.
Suddenly the grip on your hair was released, causing you to fall to the floor with a thud and allowing you to crawl towards the lady, who helped you up, hugging you tightly against her.
“Donna…” you cried desperately against her dress, pulling at her clothes desperately, terribly scared. Your body trembled hopelessly.
You moved your head to look at your attacker, who had a lost look, looking up as if he were hypnotized.
“Angie,” the lady said in a dark tone, pushing you towards the doll, who approached you.
“(Y/N), silly, are you okay?” the puppet asked, helping you sit on the floor as you cried inconsolably.
Among tears, you looked at the lady and the attacker. The woman in black went a little closer, with that cold, expressionless look, moving her hand.
The man growled, grabbing his head as if it were about to explode. Slowly, trembling, he began to move involuntarily, picking up the knife he had dropped.
“No… No…” he whispered, moving his arm, pointing the blade towards his chest and slowly sinking it into his flesh. “Ahhhhh!”
You watched the scene in horror. Blood was pouring from his self-inflicted wound as he pulled out the knife, stabbing it somewhere else nearby, into his chest again.
“Ahhhh!” The man's screams of pain echoed in your ears. You looked at Donna, who seemed to smile at his suffering. A dangerous smile like you had never seen before. “No, no, have mercy!”
“Did you have mercy when you killed that girl?” Donna whispered, tilting her head mockingly. “Mm, I guess you didn’t.”
“Ahhhhh!” the man screamed again, stabbing the knife all over his body under the steady gaze of your girlfriend, who reveled in his suffering, bending down and grabbing his hair tightly.
“Mm, you don't deserve me wasting my time with you,” she murmured disinterestedly, letting him go in disgust and moving her hand again.
“No...No...” the man pleaded, with his knife resting on his throat.
You looked away when he began to cut it among screams of pain. Then, there was only silence.
You looked over your knees to contemplate that horrible scene, to see how Donna touched the lifeless body of that vermin with her foot. Her face was expressionless, cold.
She had killed him, but not only that, she had been cruel. She had enjoyed doing it. The fear you had for the attack was transformed, heading towards the lady in black.
“Angie,” Donna said, walking towards you. “Call Karl, he has to take care of taking out the trash,” she ordered, to which the doll nodded, quickly going to fulfill her request.
The lady sighed, looking for the last time at that lifeless body bleeding out on a carpet.
“Tesoro...” she said, changing apathy to concern, crouching next to you. “Amore mio... Has he hurt you?”
“N-No,” you murmured, uncomfortable by her caresses, by her hand in yours, the hand that guided the thoughts of that man, that guided him to his death.
“Oh, you are hurt,” she sighed with a sad look, touching the wound on your head, which you had forgotten. “Come, let's go to the basement.”
Helped by Donna, you went down the elevator. The shock was slowly wearing off, but in your head you only had one thing: her smile, Donna's smile as she made that man suffer.
You knew she was dangerous, that she was sick, but you had never had the misfortune of confirming those rumors.
In your head there was no relief or gratitude, only fear, a new fear, the fear of the lady in black.
You knew she loved you, you were sure of it. You were hers. She always made a point of reminding you of it but... What would happen if she got tired of you? What would happen to you if she stopped loving you? Would she make you suffer like that too?
All those questions clouded your thoughts as she sat you down on a chair, searching for the first aid kit in one of the closets.
“Look at me, tesoro…” she told you in a soft voice, as if she hadn't just killed a man.
You involuntarily moved away from her touch, one that you irrationally saw as threatening. The lady growled, grabbing your chin tighter so you would look at her.
“It's all over, (Y/N), that bastardo won't bother you again, relax,” she said to you, changing the strong grip for a caress on your cheek and a tender smile.
You nodded, hissing in pain when a cotton ball brushed your wound.
“You deserve an apology, (Y/N),” the lady commented, sitting in front of you to better heal your wound. “I never thought that man would be so stupid as to break into the house.”
You nodded again, it was the only thing you could do without trembling.
“Mm, okay… It's nothing serious…” she sighed, soaking more cotton in the alcohol. “Amore mio… This wound hurts me more than it hurts you… I should never have let this happen.”
“It's not your fault,” you whispered in a weak voice, looking away.
“Shh, look at me,” she corrected, moving your face again. “I hope you'll be able to forgive me for my carelessness.”
“I have nothing to forgive you for,” you murmured, wiping away a tear that was running down your cheek.
The lady sighed, putting down the bottle and the cotton and grabbing your hand, leaning in to kiss you, something you rejected.
“It's okay, I understand, you're angry with me,” she whispered in a strangely understanding way. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”
You shook your head, moving away from her.
“Okay…” she murmured, getting up from the chair with a sad look. “(Y/N) if I lost you… It would be, it would be hell for me, do you understand?”
You nodded reluctantly.
“You don't want to talk to me,” she sighed, shaking her head and running a hand through her hair. “Okay, do you want to be alone, tesoro?”
“You enjoyed it,” you murmured in a low voice, gaining enough courage to tell her what was really going through your head.
“Cosa?” she asked, looking at you confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You killed that man, and you enjoyed it, I saw the way you smiled,” you hissed in a dark voice.
“What did you want me to do, (Y/N)? He was going to hurt you,” Donna said, looking at you with a frown.
You shook your head, looking at the floor.
“You could have scared him, you could have made him run away forever,” you said thoughtfully, with your hands starting to shake. “But, but you have tortured him… You have made him suffer.”
“Anyone who dares to touch what is mine suffers the consequences,” she said, with that cold look again, still proud of her actions.
At that moment you exploded.
“So what will happen to me if I stop being yours? Are you going to torture me too?” you asked angrily, getting up from the chair. “You scare me, Donna, I have never been so afraid of you.”
“(Y/N), how can you think that way? Tesoro, you're really upset, let me…” she said, coming closer, something you stopped by cowardly running away from her touch.
“Don't touch me! Get away from me!” you screamed nervously, pathetically protecting yourself with your hands.
“I would never hurt you, I'd rather die,” the lady said, with a sad, pleading tone, one that you ignored.
“I don't know if I can believe you, not with what I've seen,” you said, relaxing the tone of your voice.
“(Y/N)… What's wrong with you? Was I supposed to let that man abuse you? Let him get away with it and let him get on with his life?” Donna said, coming closer in a threatening way. “I was just protecting you!” she yelled nervously, grabbing the collar of your dress, making you close your eyes tightly, expecting the worst.
“Donna…” you gasped in fear.
She blinked, watching as her hand grabbed your clothes, seeing your scared eyes and getting scared, of herself.
“Gods, (Y/N), I'm sorry…” she said, letting you go softly. “Tesoro, please, understand me, I love you so much that… I would do anything to protect you.”
“Leave me alone,” you hissed, pushing the lady away roughly. “Please, I want to be alone.”
“No, wait, wait, please,” Donna said, grabbing your wrist. “Please amore mio… For-forgive me…”
“You can't apologize for something you aren’t really sorry about. You don't regret what you've done, you're a psychopath,” you growled, tears streaming down your face again.
“Don't say that, please…” she sobbed, shaking her head at the harshness of your words. “Please… Stop, stop insulting me…”
“I love you Donna, but you made me think, so it's best that I go to my parents' house for a while,” you said grimly, with all the coldness you were capable of.
“No…” she sighed, opening her eye wide. Her breathing was completely uncontrolled. “No! Don't leave me!” she screamed desperately, throwing herself to the floor to grab your legs, losing her dignity.
“Let me go, Donna… I have, I have to think about many things… I need some time,” you said, struggling with the tearful mess that clung to your body. “Let me go!” you shrieked, pushing the tearful lady away from you, causing her to fall to the floor.
“No, don't leave!” she screamed furiously, her face torn by tears. “Don't leave me!”
“I'm sorry,” you said crying too, turning around only to hear her outburst of fury, how she hit everything with her fists while she cried in agony. “I'll come back when I have a clear mind.”
“No!” she screamed, hitting the floor with her fists, writhing in her madness. “YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!”
Her fury was hard to ignore as you walked towards the door.
“You can't leave me because I saved your life!” she finally sobbed.
Those words did something in your mind.
Saved your life…
You were so blinded by fear, so scared that you had forgotten the most important thing. Without leaving the room, you moved your hand to the wound on your head, unable to take another step.
That wound was not only a reminder of Donna's rage, of her sadism and torture. No, that wound had another meaning that you were beginning to sense.
Yes, she tortured that man. She made him suffer but… What would have happened if she hadn’t intervened? The answer was in the marks on your body, in the sad look of your best friend, in your terrible memories.
If Donna hadn’t been there to protect you, your end would have been long and horrible. Surely that disgusting man would have had fun with you until you were completely useless, and what for? Why leave the witness of your atrocities alive? No, you would have been of no use to him anymore.
 You would have died, like Mihaela’s sister.
That terrible truth ravaged your thoughts with horrible images of your body used and abandoned anywhere. That man was not a man. He was a beast, one which would never rest until it got what it wanted.
What would have happened if Donna had been merciful, if she had spared that wretch’s life? You could read the answer before your eyes, he would return.
Maybe not the next day, or the next month, but he would come back. Those kinds of disturbed people always did. And… If that were the case, what would happen to you? Your terrible end.
You couldn't stop thinking about when you were a child, when that beast was stalking you, about Mihaela's tears when she lost her sister. It was all so unfair, so terrible… Did that man really not deserve that torture?
For all the girls who suffered, for all the harm he did, for everything he was, he deserved it. He deserved every stab, even some more.
Then you realized your mistake of misinterpreting Donna's actions as those of a psychopath. Imagining that sinister smile of the lady again, you could see your friend, her sister smiling next to Donna, enjoying revenge, thanking the lady for make that monster pay for his crimes.
Donna had protected you, she had saved your life, she had saved what was hers. She had saved more girls from suffering in the future. She wasn't a bad person. She had her flaws, her illness, but still, she saved you and how did you thank her? By abandoning her, making her believe that saving you was a mistake.
You turned around slowly, looking at the lady curled up unable to stop crying, pulling at her hair.
You bit your lip and approached slowly, crouching down next to her.
“Donna, darling,” you said softly, freeing her from her own grip. She looked at you with her eye red from crying, unable to do anything else but sob. “Donna, stop, stop please, I'm still here…”
“(Y/N)…” she sobbed, blinking rapidly. “(Y/N)…”
“Shhh, it's over, my love… I'm not going anywhere. My place is here, with you…” you whispered in a calm voice. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I behaved like that, I… Donna, I haven't even thanked you for saving my life… I'm, I'm stupid…”
“Don't leave…” she whispered, letting you wipe her tears, staring at you. “Please…”
The lady in black, broken, bowed her head to your chest, head that you hugged without thinking, kneeling on the floor and comforting her crying.
“I won't leave, darling, I won't leave…” you repeated, holding back your tears. “I just got, I got scared… I was, I was scared.”
“How can you be afraid of me?” she asked, with her head buried in your dress. “I would never hurt you, never… E-Even if you leave me I… I would be incapable of hurting you… You are my precious girl, my sunshine, my everything… I love you more than anything… You have to believe me… I would never hurt you… Never!”
“I know, I know, Donna,” you said nodding, moving her away from your body so you could look at her properly, to relax her with a soft caress that preceded a tender, salty kiss, a kiss that ended her fears, and yours. “I love you, I love you… And… I, I like that you protect me, I want you to always protect me… Donna, my love… You are the love of my life…”
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cityof2morrow · 21 hours
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CDK: Design Department
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Published: 9-25-2024 | Updated: N/A SUMMARY Cubic Dynamics by John B. Cube and Marcel Dusims forged the future with furnishings that were minimalist in design and maximalist in erudite pretension. Generations later, the company continues to produce edge-of-cutting-edge designs. Use the Cubic Dynamics Kitbash (Simmons, 2023-2024) collection to set up corporate, exposition, and office environments. Envisioned as an add-on to the Cubic Dynamics set (EA/Maxis, archived at GOS), it features minimalist and retro-futuristic objects. Find more CC on this site under the #co2cdkseries tag. Read the Backstory and ‘Dev Notes’ HERE. Where do the geniuses who dress SimCity’s best come up with their ideas?! Who knows…but with the DESIGN DEPARTMENT, you can finally set up proper digs for your designers, artists, and other creatives! This set includes edited items originally by Shoukeir and Spaik (see compatibility notes below). Cubic Dynamics wants your design department to be top notch – that’s why we include a free copy of the Bella Brand Designer’s Style Guide (HINT: check the low bookcase).
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DETAILS All EPs/SPs. §See Catalog for Pricing | See Buy/Build Mode You need the Company Expo (Mesh Pack) set (Simmons, 2024) for TXTRs to show properly in game. ALL files with “MESH” in their name are REQUIRED. You may need “move objects” and “grid on/off” cheats to place some objects to your liking. When placing partitions/floating shelves and tables/desks/counters on the same tile, place the partition/shelves first. I recommend using this set with Object Freedom 1.02 (Fway, 2023), which includes Numenor’s fix for OFB shelves (2006), for easier use overall. ITEMS Bookcases 001-003 (340-832 poly) Chair (727 poly) Corner Tables/Sideboard (238-420 poly) – only shelves/legs visible on corner tables when placed against walls (this is intentional) Deco (148-795 poly) Desks (106-240 poly) DOWNLOAD (choose one) from SFS | from MEGA COMPATIBILITY AVOID DUPLICATES: The #co2cdkseries includes edited versions – replacements - for items in the following CC sets: 4ESF (office 3, other 1/artroom, other 2/build), All4Sims/MaleorderBride (miskatonic library, office, postmodern office), CycloneSue (never ending/privacy windows), derMarcel (inx office), Katy76/PC-Sims (bank/cash point, court/law school sets, sim cola machine), Marilu (immobilien office), Murano (ador office), Olemantinker, Reflex Sims (giacondo office), Retail Sims/HChangeri (simEx, sps store), Simgedoehns/Tolli (focus kitchen, loft office, modus office), ShinySims (modern windows), Shoukeir via Sims2Play(reverie office, step boxes/shelving), Spaik (sintesi study), Stylist Sims (offices 1,2, & 3, Toronto set), Tiggy027 (wall window frames 1-10), Wall Sims (holly architecture, Ibiza). *The goal is link the objects to the recolors/new functions in the #co2cdkseries without re-inventing the wheel! Credit to the original creators. CREDITS Thanks: EarlyPleasantview, Panda, Soloriya, ChocolateCitySim, HugeLunatic, Klaartje, Ocelotekatl, Whoward69, LoganSimmingWolf, Gayars, Ch4rmsing, Ranabluu, Gummilutt, Crisps&Kerosene, LordCrumps, PineappleForest. Sources: Any Color You Like (CuriousB, 2010), Beyno (Korn via BBFonts), EA/Maxis, Offuturistic Infographic (Freepik). SEE CREDITS (ALT)
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oblako · 2 days
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vetted palestinian campaigns [24/09/25]
please donate if you're able to or at least share these fundraisers for more reach & visibility! 🍉
@nepalalser -> fundraiser link 🚨 #66 on gazavetters list ✅
@princessworlds-posts -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by nabulsi, fairuz-fan, 90-ghost and others (see post) ✅
@aboodnemer -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by el-shab-hussein and 90-ghost ✅
@yousef-falestinef -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by 90-ghost ✅
@maysmohmmed12 -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by association ✅
@hanyfamily -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by association ✅
@ahmed79ss -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by 90-ghost and by association ✅
@olagaza -> fundraiser link 🚨 #205 on the vetted fundraisers sheet ✅
@maram-gaza & @mahmoud-gaza -> fundraiser link 🚨 #196 on beesandwatermelons list or verified campaigns ✅
@supportgaza -> fundraiser link 🚨 #151 on the vetted gaza fundraisers list ✅
@anas12a -> fundraiser link 🚨 #83 on gazavetters list ✅
@hanangaza24 -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by 90-ghost ✅
@eman-kha -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by 90-ghost ✅
@aya2mohammed -> fundraiser link 🚨 #166 on the vetted gaza fundraisers list ✅
@ahmedomar3 -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by association ✅
@fadiafamily11 -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by 90-ghost ✅
@robarabah -> fundraiser link 🚨 vetted by gaza-evacuation-funds ✅
please also take a look at the following campaigns that are not vetted yet (at least i couldn't find confirmation as of time of writing this) but are very likely to be legit, as reverse image searches are clean and the fundraisers are donation-protected:
@osama-family -> fundraiser link 🚨
@d-mohammed -> fundraiser link 🚨
@sabah-family -> fundraiser link 🚨
please stay safe and hopefully you reach your goals asap! 🍉
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isharaneith · 1 year
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Like, reblog or comment if you save, please
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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Your fears that you don't have a body that will transition "well" are, sure, understandable, but there isn't truly such thing as a body that's unworthy of transition. Perhaps your changing body won't suit everybody's taste, but would you rather live for yourself or for the whims of random people who don't care about your happiness as long as they're attracted to what they see?
Transition is for anybody who wants it. It's okay to be fearful. It's okay to be uncertain. But it isn't the end of the world. You are in control, and if you choose to transition to any capacity, it should be at your behest. You and your body are worthy of transition. I hope you are able to seize transition and do what you truly want for yourself.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#have been seeing a small resurgence in some trans spaces that there is such thing as an 'untransitional' body#there are people out there who cannot transition for medical/financial/social reasons but that isn't what people often mean#kill the person in your head that says you need to adhere to cishet standards. it's okay to be trans and *look* it if you want#transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want#while yes it's complex because appearing trans can be dangerous i ultimately want people to have the freedom to make decisions solely...#...on what *they* want y'know?#i have seen this idea that some people just aren't 'able' to transition because they won't 'appear cis' for years now and it's heartbreaking#like i used the whole 'i don't look cis' against myself because it's impossible for me *to be* cis...#...i will never be non-trans. i will never not be a transsexual and i used to hate that about myself...#...because i was taught that being trans is bad. i was taught that looking trans is a curse that nobody should EVER inflict upon themselves#and that the goal was to essentially distance yourself as far away from transness as you can#and it's okay for people to not want to 'look' visibly trans. it's neutral. what was harmful was the idea that TRANS was bad#there's a huge difference between 'i don't want to be visibly trans' and 'i think being trans and looking it is bad'
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edwinisms · 1 month
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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That post about everything being "Nah" I felt in my core. I'll always respect people who identify differently but when they ask me "what's your pronouns?" Or "where do you lie romanticaly?" I'm just "eh call me whatever you want I guess" or *I don't feel romantically for much anything" maybe cause online people always thought I'm one gender and irl people always thought I was the other so I just responded with "sure I guess"
and it's honestly such an easier way to live ngl... like when it comes to people who Know that i use they/them, it hurts to hear my given pronouns. but when it comes to strangers and just people who i haven't told, it's like... "yeah. ok. ill put on this hat" it feels a bit like a performance. it feels Mischievous, even! ohoho, they've been Tricked!
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bigkickguy · 3 months
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hehe i made a megaman oc ! He's kind of a functional remote base to help with running missions or rescues he's... a table on wheels LOL he can control all 12 drones at once like a camera system - but the more he is using the less control of his main body he has
he can also hook up other equipment to the backpack based on whatever the remote mission needs
...table guy ....office chair guy ....2 in one office chair table guy
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pied-piper-pluto · 6 months
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freiren sounds so up my alley and the one thing that's holding me back from watching it is that I hate the costume designs.... this is not a freiren-exclusive problem i feel that way about most fantasy anime these days it just bothers me with freiren because otherwise i Want to watch it
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i hope the tumblr girlies know about the fact that the handler was originally supposed to be in winter break. bc i don't think a day goes by that i don't think about it.
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carebeardean · 1 year
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ponniyin selvan + vanthiyathevan being a bisexual legend 👑✨
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kandicon · 1 month
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Avatar of the Web who keeps getting mistaken for an avatar of the Stranger because nobody cares to understand the nuance between marionettes and mannequins.
#she starts. like. shoving spiders into the gaps of her ball joints just to prove a point.#actually wait I love this idea#this bitch has everyone tangled in her strings abd playing the part she wants them to. but no matter WHAT she does she can't get ppl to know#what the actual Fear she serves is unless she directly tells them (and then they don't always believe her).#She'll have a hunter quite literally caught in her web and being eaten by spiders and they'll still b like#''hmmmm idk I could have sworn I heard a calliope around here.'' and she'll be like ''That was my ominous organ music u BITCH''#What if she hangs out at festivals and raves and clubs and the like bc of how heavy they tend to b with addiction and hot beds for gossip#but everyone thinks she goes bc of the performance aspect/seeing everyone and knowing no one/getting lost in a crowd/unfamiliarity/etc.#because both the Stranger and the Web can thrive in those areas for completely different reasons#Also she always has a running tape recorder at music performances bc she thinks the Mother of Puppets would appreciate her edm <3#It isn't particularly appreciated but as far as offerings go it's relatively sweet so the spiders let it slide#I cannot overstate how much this web avatar clashes with Annabelle. Oh they're polite enough and have the same goals but anyone who sees#them in a room together will immediately start bleeding from the eyes.#It's the pairing of an immaculate vintage gothic paired with neon mismatched ravewear.#Plus where Annabelle looks very alive and leans into the spider aspect the other avatar is a lifesized marionette with her#wooden body visible where her skin tone makeup has smeared#I picture this avatar as like. she wears the shortest and skimpiest clothing that can still be qualified as clothing n not underwear with#kandi to cover her ball joints.#She decorates her marionette strings in neon lights and dances with them so nobody notices a few of those are connected to her ''flesh''.#and she marks in many ways but esp by trading kandi. the connection formed by a kandi trade is far more literal in her case. if u have kandi#from her it is a mark for you to be tracted down later yo either be tormented or feasted upon (preferably both)
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pisshandkerchief · 10 months
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the thing is I love dressing and looking feminine but it often gives me dysphoria to do so. which is why I've been contemplating testosterone so much lately
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palms-upturned · 3 months
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Sorry for being late today coming online, a lot has happened and I am trying to think about the best way to organize this blog going forward. For now though I will try to get the list updated quickly and read through my messages/@'s
#meg talks#mainly thinking about how best to spotlight people's fundraisers because so many are gaining and losing traction periodically#and some of my posts seem to get more reach than others#mostly what troubles me is i think that the more campaigns i boost the less effective it is for each campaign#i think that the small batches of donation matching campaigns that i organized with other people was the most effective thing so far#bc it guaranteed at least one donation to each campaign#i think i'm going to try to make other small batch posts too each day#like ''here are some campaigns that are close to their goal/low on funds/almost to the halfway mark or some other milestone/etc''#but idk. i just feel troubled and i think some people who have reached out to me think i have more reach than i actually do#i have less than 3k followers and a lot of them are inactive blogs from over the past ten years#ofc that still isn't nothing and im going to keep doing what im doing but im afraid people might be reaching out to me#thinking that i'll be able to give their campaigns more visibility than i actually can#im grateful that my master list has gotten some traction but the longer it gets the tougher it is to single ppl out#i don't know. if people have suggestions please let me know#for now i would really really appreciate volunteers to help w the donation matching campaigns#if i can have ppl committing to donating like 5 bucks to a handful of campaigns once or twice a month#then at least that's something that IS guaranteed u know... though i feel ashamed that i quit my job#and can't guarantee much myself until i find a new one#idk im just troubled and i'm not going to stop boosting campaigns but i hate the thought of getting ppl's hopes up and not delivering
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