#like the league and Lex search it everywhere

[nelkcats]

Amity Candy Store

It turns out that having a portal to the Infinite Realms gives you resources to materials you've never seen before. Due to the recent peace treaty between Amity Parkers and ghosts they had begun to exchange products.

Some ghosts felt very nostalgic and wanted to try the food of the living again, or have access to objects not available on the dimension. Others simply wanted to show their shiny items to the liminals, after all there were so many portals on the dimension and they had a lot to trade!

One of those items was Kryptonite, ghosts were sure it was candy of some kind and told the liminals that and since ghosts and liminals could eat it without any consequences (Frostbite approved) the liminals assumed it was some kind of special candy. Like shiny rock candy.

So it is not surprising that when they opened a candy store they began to sell Kryptonite there. When the Justice League began to investigate the town's sudden silence from the outside world Clark didn't expect to feel extremely weak walking past the local candy store. Or that being around the local children would make him sick.

[kentruth]

( édgar ramírez. 44. he/him/his. cis male. ) are you a HERO? something tells me that flannel shirts, thick framed glasses, ink stains make you who you are, CLARK KENT. with the powers of SUPERHUMAN CONDITION (KRYPTONIAN), you’re sure to have a optimistic, reckless personality — and you definitely belong to UNAFFILIATED. were you listening to EVERYWHERE by FLEETWOOD MAC on your way to the subway? it suits you. we can’t wait to see what you do next!  ( @reshieldedintro​ ) 

                     𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐄𝐄!  

character name: Clark Joseph Kent  age: 44  faceclaim: Édgar Ramírez  voiceclaim: Édgar Ramírez  skill set: Kryptonian Physiology with full control and experience with his powers. Clark has been Superman for over 20 years now and has gotten to a point where he is extremely comfortable with his abilities.  affiliations: The Justice League, but he often operates on his own to right the wrongs of the world and protect those who need it no matter the place.  family: Lois Lane ( wife ), Jon Kent ( son ), Conner Kent ( son despite his claims ), Jor-El ( biological father, unfortunately ), Lara Lor-Van ( biological mother ), Jonathan Kent ( father, deceased ), Martha Kent ( mother ), Kara Zor-El ( cousin )  zodiac: Sagittarius ( December 1st )  favorite movie: encanto (2021), it felt important to add.  wiki link: up up and away? 

what were they doing when they passed through the portal?

Clark was actually searching for Lois and Jon, who had passed through the portal prior to him without his knowledge. He had just returned from a mission that had taken him to the Phantom Zone, and upon coming back to Metropolis realized his family was missing. It was luck that made the portal manifest to him, but it was hearing Lois's heartbeat once it opened that made him cross it. 

where are they living? are they living with anyone?

Currently at the same hotel that Lois is at, but will likely move in with Kon and Jon to be a nuisance to them and hopefully embarrass them into shape. 

why is your character affiliated with who they’re affiliated with?

Chiefly, the Justice League. Clark has no ties to the military or any governmental organization. Superman is not a figure that is attached to one country, but to Earth as a whole. Clark doesn't limit himself to borders. Superman belongs to the world and is here to protect it. 

who are their major friends, allies, and foes?

Clark believes he has a lot of close friends, even among the ranks of the Justice League. His best friend (other than Lois) would be Jimmy Olsen, a trusted sidekick to both Kent and Lane. He knows Bruce Wayne doesn't think they are friends, but he likes telling people they are best friends to see the look of utmost displeasure on Bruce's face when he does. Among the league, he is also very close to Diana Prince and Arthur Curry. 

His biggest foe is Lex Luthor, or is he? Lex is nicer to him than Bruce. So is Zodd, to be honest. Perhaps Batman is his biggest foe. 

whose hands do they believe the country should be in?

In the hands of someone who believes in equality and treats people fairly no matter who they are. Despite always wanting to believe the best in people and holding a lot of hope for human kind, Clark can't say he puts a lot of trust in any kind of government. He is very much anti-establishment. 

what’s their current mental state at? their physical state?

Having recently missed out on a big chunk of his son’s life (thanks to sorry excuse for a father) and having gone through the stress of thinking he’d lost his family before crossing the portal, Clark has definitely had better days. He is bouncing back now that he has Lois and the boys back on his side, but there is something haunting about a parallel world that has swallowed up his entire family and that they can’t seem to get out of. As always, he will try to make the best out of the situation and help when he can, but the circumstances trouble him more than he cares to admit or show.

[oopshidaisyy]

August Fic Recs

a love song for schrödinger by patho With his own two eyes Carlos has observed a house that empirically doesn’t exist. He’s never seen a quantum particle, but his computer models and lab readouts reassure him of their presence. Cecil – lovely and wonderful and strange Cecil – is comforting and solid in every way…except in Carlos’ peripheral vision, when his edges waver as though the lack of direct observation has left him unsure of what shape he should be. It means absolutely nothing, to see a thing in Night Vale. Carlos/Cecil, 2k, T Note: achingly lovely

Easy Open by Helenish “So you and Hunt are a package deal these days,” Bryson says. “Uh,” Benji says, jerking his head up from his computer, ballpoint in his mouth. Benji/Ethan, 6k, M Note: i read this at least once a month and it’s just,, so wonderful

Four-Letter Words by idiopathicsmile  Prompt: "humiliation kink by way of compliment, Aziraphale gets Crowley hot and bothered by accusing him of goodness." Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k, M Note: i still remember getting the email notification for this one and being like “exactly what i want?? from one of my favourite writers??? what a concept”

and if sun comes by susiecarter Post-JL: Steppenwolf isn't interested in accepting defeat and walking away. Superman's proven that he's the key to conquering Earth, and Steppenwolf returns with a plan for how to deal with him. A plan that Bruce is able to throw a wrench into—but not without certain unintended consequences. Clark/Bruce, 30k, E Note: it’s involuntary soul-bonding and it’s so good it makes me want to cry

Richie Tozier: The Manchild Tour by hellotailor The Manchild Grows Up: An interview with comedian Richie Tozier, November 2019. “Everyone in this industry either has a pill habit, or they can’t hold a relationship together for more than two months," Tozier explains. "Or they spend 16 hours a day arguing with people on Twitter. Best case scenario is you find a way to be reasonably well-adjusted about your desperate need for strangers to laugh at you.” Richie/Eddie, 3k, T

In This Cold Heart by pineapplecrushface The future Richie sees while he's caught in the deadlights gives him a chance to save Eddie. In the year afterward, they both try to follow Stan's advice. Richie/Eddie, 16k, E

want to feel something again (won’t you help me) by susiecarter Damn, this chick just won't give up. Harley/Diana, 6k, M Note: this pairing seems like it shouldn’t work but then it just...does?? and it’s incredible?? and somehow everything i needed???

come into my parlour by arriviste  After the revolution failed, Grantaire became Enjolras's keeper. Enjolras/Grantaire, 8k, T

a tree that has not blossomed (yet) by susiecarter An accident involving a Kryptonian device meddled with by Lex Luthor sends Bruce forward, into a future that must not—cannot—be his own. Because sure, Clark's joined the Justice League. Clark's willing to work with Bruce to save the world. Clark's even forgiven him for what he once tried to do. But that doesn't mean they're going to—that doesn't make it plausible that they'd ever be—that they would get married. Clark/Bruce, 8k, T

there was no sacred place by firstaudrina It's in the moment between wishing and knowing that Lestat realizes the approaching figure is Louis. Lestat/Louis, 1k, Not Rated

afterparty (aftermath) by thingswithwings Tony's kissing everyone tonight, or at least everyone who'll let him. Bruce/Tony (+ with a little Tony/everyone), <1k, T

talk to me by theappleppielifestyle “I was offering to talk dirty to you so you’d stop thinking I was such a stick in the mud.” Tony considers. Steve’s from the 40s, he assumes dirty talk back then wasn’t as graphic as it is today. “Go ahead.” Steve cocks his head at him, lets his gaze linger on Tony’s mouth and the exposed collarbone before saying, “Sometimes when you’re doing tune-ups on your armour I think about stripping you out of it and fucking you against the desk in your workshop until you scream for me.” "Holy god," Tony hears himself say, and Steve grins before continuing. Steve/Tony, 1k, E

Convenient Husbands by Annie D "It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?" Dean/Cas, 39k, E

The Missionary Position by matchsticks Ethan and Benji have to pretend to be a married couple for a mission. Well, Ethan and Benji are already a married couple, but now they have to pretend to be pretending to be a married couple for a mission, and the rest of the team has to help them keep their secret. It'll definitely all work out fine. Probably. Hopefully. Benji/Ethan, 2k, T

whatever you ask by theappleppielifestyle Tony is temporarily cursed to answer any question truthfully. Steve/Tony, 1k, T

Perhaps It Is Everywhere by matchsticks_p Canon divergence: Poe and Finn crash land together on Jakku and don't get split up. Poe spends the next few days searching for his droid, attempting to save the galaxy, trying not to die of dehydration, and discovering that the newly-minted Finn (minted by me, Poe realizes over and over again, and it feels like a new revelation each time) carries a lot of bad habits from the First Order he has just defected. Finn/Poe, 4k, T

Leave My Body, Moving Up to Higher Ground by triedunture Castiel must take a new vessel to return to earth, so he strikes a deal with a woman who isn't as willing as Jimmy had been. But Dean's in a bad way and Leviathan needs to be smote, so what else can he do? Dean/Cas, 17k, E

Vae Victis by Elspethdixon "But you, Patroclus, you would not let me weep… You were always kind." Achilles/Patroclus, 3k, G

we should just kiss like real people do by theappleppielifestyle Hoodie-guy stops in front of Steve just as he snaps, “FINE, I want to bang Tony Stark like a screen door in a hurricane, could we drop it now?” “UM,” Sam says, loud enough that they both turn to look at him. He’s wide-eyed as he jerks his head meaningfully, gestures getting looser and more pointed as they continue not to get it. Steve stares at him. This is why Sam is never picked for a partner when they all play Charades. There’s a tap on his shoulder, and Steve turns to see Hoodie-guy smiling. Steve opens his mouth to say do you need something when he realizes why the man’s face is so familiar. “Hi,” says Tony Stark. Steve blurts the first thing he thinks. “Fuck.” Steve/Tony, 5k, T

A Dream of Flight by triedunture  Cas starts visiting Dean in his dreams with astonishing regularity.  Dean/Cas, 7k, M

[tessatechaitea]

Superman: Year One: Book Three

Here's the back cover instead because I misread it as "We serve one purpose: Jesus," and I was ready to accept that.

Due to the amount of lava and debris, I would have gone with "sharts."

Superman saves Lois Lane from dying under the ocean which probably means she's going to reward him with her big city sexual prowess. But before Superman can accept his reward for being a nice guy, he has to defeat a troop of Navy SEALS who have come to capture him. So everybody's looking for Superman now because he showed off a few too many times while training in the Navy and his commanding officer became jealous that the mermaids let Clark fuck them. So Superman's big enemies are the god Poseidon and the American military, both because Lori Lemaris chose to fuck Superman instead of them. You might think I'm concentrating too much on Superman fucking the women he saved, and people being upset that they didn't get to fuck those women. If you are thinking that, it's probably because you haven't actually read Frank Miller's Superman: Year One. You'd totally understand that it's not me who is obsessed with Superman getting laid for fighting for truth, justice, and the American Way (honorably discharged version). It's apparently the entire theme of Frank Miller's Superman story. I just realized that I was going to make a Batman sucking Superman dick's joke based on the cover but then I didn't scan the cover. Oh well! Lesson learned! Any time somebody says, "Lesson learned," you should immediately ask them, "Oh? What was that then?" I bet most of the time, they won't be able to explain how they learned anything. The good thing about the cover of Book Three is that it was drawn by Frank Miller. And no matter what you think of Frank Miller's art, you have to agree (or at least better agree or we're going to have a problem) that it's better than John Romita Jr's art and better than Frank Miller's writing. After beating up the Navy SEALS and rescuing Lois Lane, Clark Kent winds up graduating from college and interning at the Daily Planet. Don't ask me what happened to Lori Lemaris and Atlantis! I guess it was such a terrible break-up that even Frank Miller doesn't want to write about it.

You can tell how dumb a person is by how much they defend Trump and blame the mainstream media. The fucking mainstream media bends over backwards not to point out just how fucking ignorant Trump is about everything!

Stepping away from the comic itself for a moment, here's what John Romita Jr had to say about this comic book after it was announced amidst a lot of "eye-rolls and groans" at San Diego Comic-Con. "The cynics that don't like my artwork or Frank's work were everywhere on the social media. Now we'll see what they have to say, because this is damn fresh, and I'm really proud of it." Well, I didn't have anything to say about it before reading it. I even bought it mostly knowing that I wasn't going to enjoy it even though I always hope that I enjoy everything I purchase as entertainment! Why else would I bother if not to hopefully be surprised and elated? Well, let me tell you, I was not surprised nor elated. Superman in the Navy might be fresh but it's also pretty fucking stupid. The whole idea was that Superman would join the Navy so he could see the world? But then he spends his entire time training in California where he learns he doesn't want to kill people after battling pirates in the Pacific waters off of the coast of California? Also he fucks mermaids during that time because why the fuck not? Now imagine reading all of that while looking at John Romita Jr's terrible facial expressions. The announcement of this comic book with this creative team should have garnered a lot more than groans and eye-rolls. There should have been jerking off motions as well. Working at the Daily Planet with Lois Lane (who, if you remember from the part where I said she wants to fuck him, wants to fuck him), Clark Kent realizes he needs a disguise. So Frank Miller makes sure to explain how the hat and glasses work as a disguise. The hat "changes his silhouette" and the glasses are just "the geek factor" he needs. The whole "dress to unimpress" angle is the disguise. Fucking bullshit. We all know that the glasses and the outfit are the least part of the disguise. He needs to discuss how he changes his posture, how he acts clumsy, how he puts on the air of naive farm boy, how he's terrible at pleasing a woman in bed. These are all aspects that work to make it unbelievable that he could be Superman. Christopher Reeves in Superman nails all of these aspects and I wish writers would be more upfront about how Clark Kent's disguise is less about the accouterments and more about the act Clark puts on. Superman begins deciding how to fight crime now that he's come to Metropolis. And his logic goes like this: "What do criminals want? Money! Where is the money? Banks!" And just like that, he becomes the protector of corporate America! He even thinks, "Never mind the third rate muggers and street swindlers." No wonder Batman doesn't respect this asshole! A third rate mugger killed Batman's parents and Superman is all, "Bah, they're harmless! Better get the guys going after the money that's insured!" Fuck this Superman! Next Superman goes after street level drug makers. That's better, I guess, but couldn't he go after the pharmaceutical industry itself?

What the fuck is "factory brand duct tape"? Having managed a warehouse on the Netscape campus back in the 90s, I'd say they should be wrapped in shrink wrap.

This morning, I discovered Carrot Cake flavored Oreos. It was nice living without diabetes but I must say goodbye to those years now. Later, Superman stops a man from abusing his wife and kids. I don't find out if she thanks him with her sex. But from what the previous chapters of this story have taught me, she did. After that, Superman frees some hostages from a hostage situation that was set-up by Lex Luthor so he could meet Superman. Lex manipulates Superman into working for him to stop Batman. Why does Lex care about Gotham and Batman? I don't know! I don't even really know how Lex manipulates Superman! And I don't think it's because I'm too stupid to follow the story. I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to understand a comic book! But this comic book feels like a bunch of pages are missing. Hell, Superman's first words to Lex Luthor upon meeting him for the first time are "You're a damned liar!" What did he lie about? When did he ever say anything to Superman? What the fuck is going on?! Over in Gotham, Batman uses a gun. Okay. Whatever. Let's wrap this shit up.

Here's a terrible picture of Superman since I can't write about a story I can't follow.

The gist of the rest of the story is that Lex Luthor is tired of Batman and Superman foiling his crimes. So he decides to convince Superman that Batman is a jerk. After they get done killing each other, Lex Luthor will profit. Not that he isn't profiting already. But he'll profit more, I guess? Superman lands in Gotham to speak with Batman and Batman instantly tries to kill him. Oh yeah, Frank Miller totally understands these characters. Batman wants justice but is willing to kill Superman because Superman wants to talk to him. And Superman goes around doing good while constantly thinking, "I'll show them!" and "I could kill these guys!" and "Which other woman should I save so I can fuck her?" Batman tries all kinds of violence on Superman while telling Superman smarts are what counts. If only he'd use some and realize he can't hurt this guy. This might be the dumbest version of Batman I've ever seen. Eventually Wonder Woman arrives to point out to these two blockheads that maybe they should stop fighting and work together to make the world a better place. Batman is all, "Well, I can't hurt him anyway so I guess I'll work with him." And Superman is all, "How is she stronger than me? She doesn't need rescuing from anybody. Has she ever gotten laid?!" The issue basically ends with Wonder Woman telling Superman that she's ready to fuck him after he goes into space to learn to fuck (by fighting Brainiac?) and Batman telling Luthor he hopes he gets raped in prison. So exactly the way I'd expect a Frank Miller Superman comic book to end.

I wish I were right popular in high school.

Superman: Year One: Book Three Rating: What I learned from this comic book is that every woman in the DCU wants to fuck Superman and every man in the DCU is jealous of all the women Superman gets to fuck. What I also learned is that I should have read this series before purchasing Dark Knight Returns: The Golden Child. I'd still like to know what happened between Clark and Lori. I guess he just left her the same way he left Lana and the same way he left Wonder Woman (who he fell in love with immediately, I guess?).