#like the most historically pretentious field ever

[nesquikflavoredchapstick]

i love being in higher education nearing the end of my degree and feeling highly educated (imagine) but i hate that it’s making me lose touch with what counts as common sense when it comes to my field and i hate that it’s making me sound almost snobby when i’m talking about my opinions

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

"I always just rode the waves,” Rebecca Ferguson says with a shrug. The comment hangs in the air, as if the Anglo-Swedish 37-year-old is only now processing that a combination of currents and tides has led her not just to an acting career but to the brink of big-screen stardom.

“I’ve never been ambitious,” she says. “I’ve always thought that that was a bad thing.” She’s seen others in the industry consumed by constant striving and asked herself why she hasn’t hungered for fame since childhood, slept in cars outside castings, barged into directors’ offices or thrown herself in the path of a producer. “But should I not be burning for this? Out meeting people and networking for the next job?” says Ferguson, who has chosen the sort of quiet, private life outside the big city that so many actors claim to crave. “My life just took another turn. But I’ve always thought: Am I where I should be?”

At the moment, on this late July day, Ferguson is slumped in the backseat of a Mercedes-Benz sedan, crawling through rush-hour traffic on the M4 out of London. She is capping off a hectic week during a particularly busy period. Most immediately, she’s coming from a table read for Wool, the Apple TV+ adaptation of Hugh Howey’s bestselling postapocalyptic trilogy. Ferguson is both the star and, for the first time, an executive producer. “I’m sitting in all the different rooms, listening and learning like the students,” she says. She’s filming Mission: Impossible 7, her third tour of duty in the long-running series that first brought her widespread recognition. She’s also promoting the film Reminiscence, the sci-fi noir written and directed by Westworld co-creator Lisa Joy in which Ferguson stars opposite Hugh Jackman. And now she is starting a press push and festival prep for her role as Lady Jessica ahead of the much-delayed release of Dune (in theaters October 22), director Denis Villeneuve’s reimagining of Frank Herbert’s novel. “After this film, I think everyone will see what I see in her,” the filmmaker says. “She has a beautiful, regal, aristocratic presence, elegance. But that was not the main thing: The most important thing for me was that depth.”

After tracing a long, meandering path, Ferguson has landed in a rare and rarified position: ascendant in her late 30s (still an anomaly for women in the film industry) and sought after by some of the biggest names in the business. “When you meet Rebecca, you just see it. She’s very open, candid, collaborative, hardworking, funny—and not pretentious,” says Tom Cruise, who handpicked Ferguson to star opposite him in the Mission: Impossiblefilms, which are known for their demanding shoots. “She just rose to the occasion every single time.”

In February 2020, when the pandemic began, Ferguson left Venice, where she’d been shooting Mission: Impossible 7, and hunkered down with her husband, their 3-year-old daughter and Ferguson’s 14-year-old son from a previous relationship at their farm in Sweden. After four months, Ferguson returned to the M:I set and basically hasn’t stopped working since.

Dune has sat idle for far longer. By the time the movie premieres, more than two years will have passed since it wrapped. Ferguson recently asked to screen the film again: “I miss it,” she says. She ended up bringing along her Mission: Impossible co-star Simon Pegg. After the credits rolled, Pegg broke into a smile and wrapped her in a congratulatory bear hug. “That’s all I needed,” she says.

Despite being a sci-fi epic based on a novel from 1965, Dune feels “very timely,” Ferguson says, pointing to its handling of environmental issues, religious zealotry, colonialism and Indigenous rights. The plot of the film, which cost an estimated $165 million, centers on occupying powers battling for the right to exploit a people and their planet, named Arrakis, for melange (or spice)—the most valuable commodity in Herbert’s fictional universe, a substance that provides transcendental thought, extends life and enables instantaneous interstellar travel. “Spice,” Ferguson says, “is equally about the poppy and oil fields.”

Ferguson’s Lady Jessica is a member of the Bene Gesserit, a powerful secretive sisterhood with superhuman mental abilities. She defies her order by giving birth to a son, Paul (played by Timothée Chalamet), who may be a messianic figure. “She basically just f—s up the entire universe by having a son out of love,” says Ferguson. In her hands, Jessica is equal parts caring parent, protector and pedagogue. Among the skills she wields and teaches Paul is “the Voice”—a modulated tone that allows the speaker to control others.

The movie was shot in Norway, Hungary, Jordan and Abu Dhabi, whose desert landscape stood in for Arrakis. Filming there was particularly arduous, as temperatures exceeded 120 degrees Fahrenheit, limiting the shoot window to only an hour and a half each day at 5 a.m. and again at dusk. “We were running across the sand in our steel suits being chased by nonexistent but humongous worms,” Ferguson recalls, referring to the sand-beasts later rendered in CGI. “To be honest, it was one of the best moments ever. It was the most beautiful location I’ve ever seen.”

Back in London, Ferguson is approaching home. She leaves the following day for a small town on the coast of England, where she plans to spend her first vacation in two years and to do some surfing. “Let’s hope it’s good weather,” she says. “If not, I’ll surf in the rain.” Not that she’s the sort to paddle out into storm swells. “I think I’ve managed to stand on a board once in my entire life,” she says. “But it was quite a high. Complete surrender to the waves and total control all at once.”

Born Rebecca Louisa Ferguson Sundström to an English mother and Swedish father, Ferguson grew up bilingual in Stockholm. She immersed herself in dance from a young age, enjoying ballet, jazz, street funk and tango. Despite being shy and prone to blushing and breaking out when forced to speak publicly, Ferguson found she was at ease in front of the camera. She dabbled in modeling and then, at 15, attended a TV casting call at her mother’s urging. Ferguson ended up getting the lead role in Nya Tider (New Times), a soap opera that became wildly popular, splashing Ferguson’s face into Swedish homes five times a week.

When her role ended about two years later, Ferguson was adrift. She had no formal acting training to fall back on, no clear sense of how to steer a career and no major connections to the industry. She had a short run on another soap and appeared in a slasher flick and a couple of independent shorts, then…nothing. “I was famous in Sweden, but I didn’t really have an income anymore,” she says. “So I went and I worked in whatever job I could get.” That meant stints at a daycare center and as a nanny, in a jewelry shop and a shoe store, as well as teaching tango, cleaning hotel rooms and waitressing at a Korean restaurant. She eventually landed in a small coastal town named Simrishamn, where she lived with her then-partner and their toddler son, content to be a where-are-they-now celebrity.

When fame again came calling, Ferguson ran away. She was at the flea market when she recognized the acclaimed Swedish director Richard Hobert, and he saw her. As he shouted her name, Ferguson grabbed her son, who lost his shoes and sausage, and fled. “I panicked,” she says. “I don’t know why.” When Hobert eventually caught up to her, Ferguson tried to act nonchalant as he proceeded to tell her he’d admired her work and pitched her on the lead role in his next movie: “I’ve written this role, and I think I have written it for you. Do you want to read the script?”

Her work in Hobert’s A One-Way Trip to Antibes earned her a Rising Star nomination at the Stockholm International Film Festival. She quickly got an agent in Scandinavia, then one in Britain. On her first trip to take meetings in London, she read for the lead in The White Queen, the BBC adaptation of Philippa Gregory’s historical novels about the women behind the Wars of the Roses. Ferguson got the part, and her portrayal of Elizabeth Woodville, queen consort of England, earned her a Golden Globe nomination and the admiration of at least one Hollywood heavyweight.

Ferguson was in the Moroccan desert filming the Lifetime biblical miniseries The Red Tentwhen the assistant director whisked her off her camel. “We’re going to have to pause shooting,” he said as he asked her to dismount. “Tom Cruise wants to meet you for Mission: Impossible. We’re going to fly you off today.”

Cruise had seen Ferguson’s work in The White Queen and her audition tape and couldn’t believe she wasn’t already a major star. “What? Where has this woman been?” Cruise recalls exclaiming to his new Mission: Impossible director Christopher McQuarrie. “She’s incredibly skilled,” Cruise says, “very charismatic, very expressive. As you can tell, the camera loves her.” Ferguson landed a multi-picture deal to star opposite Cruise in the multibillion-dollar franchise. He and McQuarrie built out the role of Ilsa Faust for Ferguson, creating the anti-Bond girl, an equal to Cruise’s Ethan Hunt. “We could just see the impact she could have,” he says. “She’s a dancer. She has great control of her body, of her movements. She has the same ability to move through emotions effortlessly.”

Ferguson threw herself into the films and quickly found a shorthand with the cast and crew. “There was a dynamic that worked very well with all of us,” she says. “One of the things I absolutely love is doing all the stunts.” That physicality has given her a reputation as an action-minded actor. “It doesn’t matter that I’ve done 20 other films where I don’t kick ass,” Ferguson says. “Mission comes with such an enormous following. That was what made my career.”

Ferguson’s M: I movies bracket a number of films in which she played opposite marquee names: Florence Foster Jenkins, with Meryl Streep and Hugh Grant; The Girl on the Train, with Emily Blunt; The Greatest Showman, with Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams; Life, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds; Men in Black: International, with Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson; The Snowman, with Michael Fassbender; Doctor Sleep, with Ewan McGregor. And now Dune, opposite Oscar Isaac, Javier Bardem, Zendaya and Chalamet, whom she calls “one of the best actors, if not the best actor of his generation—of this time.” She was similarly impressed by Zendaya, who plays the native Fremen warrior Chani. “She’s quite raw and naughty and fun,” says Ferguson. “She has an enormous f— off attitude.”

When Ferguson first spoke to Villeneuve about appearing in the movie, “he started telling me about this woman who was a protector, and a mother, and a lover, and a concubine,” she recalls. “I was like, ‘I’m sorry. You want me to play a queen and a bodyguard? And you want me to kick ass and walk regally?’ I was like, ‘Denis, why would I want to do that? That’s the last thing I want to do.’ ”

After the call, Ferguson says, “I went downstairs to my hubby and said, Oh, my God, he’s amazing, but I’m not going to get the job. I just criticized the character.” Ferguson worried she was being cast as a stereotypical “strong female character,” where “it’s constantly, ‘She looks good, and she can kick.’ That is not what I want to portray.”

Ferguson hasn’t always been able to work with collaborators who’ve given her the space to question or opine. “I’ve been bashed down. I’ve been bullied,” she says, though she opts not to say by whom. That was never a concern with Villeneuve, who welcomed her critique. He and his co-writers had already decided from the start to make women the focus of their screenplay adaptation, and he promptly offered her the part.

“I want Lady Jessica to be at the center, the forefront. For me, she’s the architect of the story,” Villeneuve says. “I needed someone who will convey the mystery and the dark side of the film in a very elegant and profound way. Rebecca was everything I was hoping for. She’s so precise. She brought a beautiful, controlled vulnerability—it becomes very visceral on-screen.”

Ferguson vaguely recalls trying to watch the 1984 version of Dune, directed by David Lynch, in her youth, but she fell asleep. And she had never opened Herbert’s novel until being offered the part in the new adaptation. As she dug into the book, she says, she learned that her character was subservient and far more like a concubine, forced to eat alone in her bedroom, not spoken to and not allowed to speak. Ferguson ended up relying primarily on Villeneuve for her research and prep—his notes and comments, his references and the pages in the book he suggested she focus on. “I would feel ignorant not to have read Frank’s book at all,” Ferguson says, though she admits there are parts of the sprawling novel (which Villeneuve is splitting into two films) she’s only skimmed. “I have to finish it.” That will not happen on her upcoming vacation, however. “Absolutely not,” she says “I am surfing.”

By the way, if you saw, I am snaking on the ground, snaking around my room to get good Wi-Fi—it’s not some dance or yoga thing,” Ferguson says. “You have to do that in this old house.” It’s a week and a half after our first meeting, and Ferguson is at her new home, a more than 500-year-old property southwest of London that has, over the years, been home to numerous English Royals. It’s more spartan than stately now. “Empty except for a rock star,” she says, turning her phone’s camera to reveal a framed duotone poster of Mick Jagger that’s leaning against the wall. “We haven’t even started renovating.

Ferguson has returned from her holiday fortified and with renewed confidence, thanks in part to her success on the surfboard. “I went up nearly every time,” she says cheerfully, “but the waves weren’t very high.” She shrugs. “I was proud. I was up. I rode them, not the other way around.”

After years of going with the flow, Ferguson is eager to replicate that sense of control in her career. She values her role as an executive producer on Wool, she says, “because I am, for the first time, a part of it from the beginning.” She relishes weighing in on every aspect, from casting (the show recently added Tim Robbins) to cinematography to her character—which has not always been easy for her. “Why do I feel it’s difficult to speak up? I still battle with these things,” she says. Alluding to those times she was pushed around in the past, Ferguson says, “I was angry, but it was more me getting off at ‘How can I let that happen? Why am I letting myself react this way?’ And I take it with me to the next thing where I go, ‘OK, how do I stop that from happening?’ ”

She is learning that she can ride on top of waves without giving up her agency or maybe just let them break against her. “I want to feel I can go home and think, That was a hard day or that pissed me off—and that’s OK,” Ferguson says, with a nod and tight smile. “Because I still stood there as Rebecca. I didn’t shift.”

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer III: The Kabuki

Nono flipped her hair over her shoulder, applied her lipstick, and put on the final touch of her ensemble, a half face mask. She looked every bit like a medieval lady, save for the shortened skirt at the front of her dress that showed off how shapely her legs were in her dark red pumps. 

She looked over at the exhausted and distraught Carli who’d scarcely been able to perform at Takamagahara and ended up dropping clients out of anxiety. Those boys were really putting her through the wringer.

She smiled at the irony of it.

“Where are you going?” Carli asked her.

“I’ve actually got a date.”

Carli sat up in confusion. “Oh... have... I met him?”

“Yes, and no... anyway. Don’t wait up for me. I’ll be gone all night.” She grabbed her purse, ignoring Carli’s open mouthed expression.

Okay, maybe she liked messing with people just a little bit. The girl’s imagination was probably running wild. The recently bereaved Nono already moved on to the point of spending the night with a man in Tokyo?

The answer to that question, of course, was yes. But Carli could never imagine what the reality was. Things were never what they appeared when it came to her. She stepped into the back of the taxi to be driven to the historic Kabuki Theater.

Kabuki was usually the relic of the previous generations and the occasional tourist or school field trip. But not tonight. Tonight the audience was mostly women though some men were in attendance. The common denominator was that they were all under thirty like her.

When she presented her ticket and card to the doorman, he held up a hand. “Please wait here, Miss.” And then dialed a number. Another man came, wearing a black suit and a pin displaying the Chinese character for ‘ghost’ invited her inside.

Together, they walked up to a special box seat right next to the stage. There were refreshments and wine. She took her seat.

The ticket had come with an envelope and a calling card. It was made of heavy embossed cardstock and smelled of chrysanthemum. Black flowing inked lines sketched out a simple, yet beautiful drawing of a chrysanthemum on the front and on the back were written the characters ‘Ruri Kazama.’ It bore all the hallmarks of something personal and handmade.

The ticket provided the remainder of the invitation. There was no number, no other message.

She smiled. How different he was from Caesar.

The lights went down over the audience who immediately hushed. The title of the play was “An Ancient Tale, Retold.”

She’d never seen a Kabuki. She’d been to an opera so she had some idea about the old arts. She didn’t have anything against them. The music, the costumes and the stories were all very compelling. It was the atmosphere she found stifling. People spent hundreds of dollars to sit around and say they went to the opera. Most wouldn’t be able to even tell you who was on stage, what the songs were about, or their lyrics. Nono had no patience for such pretentiousness.

That’s why she was a little apprehensive. She wouldn’t be able to understand the Japanese and no matter how expert the performance, she wouldn’t be able to appreciate it.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. “Miss.”

One of the black suited Ghost Waiters handed her a small tablet. “As the lyrics are sung, the translation will appear here as well as any cultural references.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh! Thank you!”

He walked away and she sat up and looked over her shoulder. That man spoke perfect English! She leaned back in her chair, smiling and chuckling. “Okay, Mr. Kazama. You have my attention.”

A sound of a drum broke the silence. The curtain rose and a woman in white face make up stood head bowed, center stage.

She looked down at the lyrics

All happiness in the world is a flash in the shadow of the moon;

Loneliness and pain are often the only companions in the depths of hell.

The woman sang and slowly raised her head. She opened eyes that were painted red at the corners.

Much to Nono’s surprise, the information on the tablet said that this woman was actually Ruri Kazama. The performance was the tale of Izanagi and Izanami, a brother and sister who got married and created the Japanese pantheon of gods..

But Izanami would perish giving birth to the god of Volcanos and the heartbroken Izanagi would journey to the underworld to save her. She could return with him, but only if he promised not to look upon her underworld form. Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep that promise and lit a torch. He saw that she was a living corpse, eaten up by maggots.

The man fled without his wife. Ever since then, Izanami was an evil vengeful goddess who killed a thousand people every day, but Izanagi made sure that 1,500 babies were conceived every day.

Nono raised an eyebrow to that.

The next scene, Izanagi appeared to sing the praises of his three children: Amaterasu, Susano-O and Tsukiyomi. He ordered them to rule over the Kingdom of the Gods, Takamagahara.

While Izanagi sang and danced with his children, Izanami was behind a thin curtain on the stage, wailing in loneliness and abandonment, remembering how beautiful her life used to be and how her and her former husband first met and how beautiful things could have been.

“Okay...” Nono didn’t remember that being part of the tale. She leaned forward.

Ruri, as Izanami, danced and sang surrounded by the corpses of the dead while wearing a kimono typical of dead person at a funeral, according to the tablet. He was a tragic figure and sure enough, some of the people in the audience were openly weeping.

There was an intermission but no one got up and left the theater. They were all discussing what they had seen. This tale was old, and yet few had tried to perform it from the point of view of the dead Izanami.

The second half was the lively story of Susano-O in killing the 8-headed serpent Yamata-no-Orochi. A family of 8 daughters was left with only one after the snake had eaten one of their daughters every year. So Susano-O offered to kill it in exchange for their last remaining daught-.

Nono sighed. “Well, ... okay.”

So he turns her into a comb for safekeeping in his hair. He makes eight barrels of sake which the serpent drinks. After it’s drunk and asleep, he cuts off all the snake’s heads.

But Ruri doesn’t play the hero in this scene, either, he plays the eight headed dragon, resplendent in a scaly looking sequined robe. “If only Carli were here.”

Carli didn’t realize it, but Nono was at the performance of her ballet the night of her recruitment. She would love this.

But Nono was the only one enjoying this part of the performance. A strange murmuring had broken out in the crowd. The Battle was supposed to be epic and loud, but all the audience saw were women and children on stage.

Susano-O did his hero thing and dramatically cut into the ‘dragon’, red dye illustrating the flow of blood. In the end, Ruri Kazama fell to center stage as the dragon died.

It seemed that this would be the end of the tale, but it wasn’t. Susano-O knelt next to the fallen serpent and after a moment of silence, what appeared to be bright wings with sharpened feathers lifted from Ruri’s back and pierced the hero through the heart!

The audience gasped as fireworks sparked up from the stage! Susano-O tore off the robe of Ruri Kazama revealing a new blood red outfit underneath. as he quietly lay in the center stage.

Off stage a voice was singing.

“Weary, oh... Weary, oh

King of Ghostly Bone

The path ahead is indistinct

Looking back is useless

Broken, drenched in a sea of mercury

Face each other over the lonely city wall

As if to remember the heavy debt of gratitude of years past.

The hairs rose on Nono’s arms and her eyes widened. “Ruri... what is this?”

The audience was in ecstasy. The interpretation read out on the tablet. Turned out that the eight headed serpent was the goddess Izanami, returned from the underworld to exact her revenge for being abandoned by her husband. 

The whole play was sympathetic to her plight, so that when, in the end, the dragon kills the ‘hero of the story’ everyone is happy. The audience bought it, hook-line-and-sinker. Flowers were being thrown up on stage. People were congratulating him on his performance.

Nono put the tablet down.

“Ma’am?”

On a platter offered by the waiter was an envelope. Inside was an invitation to meet him backstage.

[hansoftheisles]

|| Get to know HANS ISLES who’s THIRTY years old and works as a BUSINESS STRATEGY CONSULTANT in town. He is from CORONA and is often times mistaken for AARON TVEIT while others say he reminds them of HANS from FROZEN. ||

bio & headcanons:

Despite the love he received as a child, growing up as the youngest of 14 was never easy. Everything he did, one of his brothers had already done bigger and better. Anything he said, his parents had already heard before. Carving an individual path for himself was difficult when every sport had already been played by at least one of his brothers, every hobby had already been tried before. It was even hard to impress his parents with straights A’s, as he wasn’t the first one to achieve it. He lived perpetually in the shadow of his brothers, unable to break free or carve an identity of his own. 

When he was eleven, three of his brothers spent a whole two years pretending that Hans was invisible. They refused to speak to him or acknowledge him, and bumped into him every time they walked past as though he wasn’t there. The rage Hans feels now has been bubbling under the surface since that moment, though he spent a long time pretending it wasn’t there in an attempt to appear like the perfect son.

Being ignored by three of his brothers for so long meant that Hans became very good at reading people. When no one will talk to you, all you can do is sit back and observe, and this gave him a lot of time to try to figure them out. He learned to read even the most minuscule changes in expression, became practically professional in deciphering someone’s tone. While it was something of a hobby to him in childhood, he uses it to his advantage now as he figures out everyone he meets and discovers how he can use them for his own personal gain.

Trying to carve a path of his own, Hans started to pick up what he considered to be unusual hobbies growing up in an attempt to stand out to his parents. He can play the oboe, speaks fluent German, plays a mean game of croquet, and can make a professional looking bowl with a pottery wheel. He also went through a phase of wearing unusual hats because he thought that might help him stand out. While it did help him stand out, it also made him feel slightly confused about his own identity. He grew up without much sense of self — he only knew that he wanted to be different from his brothers.

Focusing his entire adolescence on being good enough to impress his parents, Hans left very little room in his life for fun. His whole life was filled with studying and increasingly obscure and difficult extra curriculars to make himself seem impressive and important. It never particularly worked, and only resulted in him being bitter and bored. He’s trying to recapture some of his youth now and is trying out having fun without worrying about the consequences.

After his mother’s death, Hans spent a long time evaluating his life. All this heard work, and where did it get him? In the same spot he’s always been, in the shadow of his brothers and the continued disappointment of the family. He’s starting to realize that maybe hard work and patience doesn’t pay off the same way his mother always told him it did. It’s time to try being selfish and give ruthlessness a go.

Growing up, Hans was a hopeless romantic. Convinced what his parents had was true love, he wanted that for himself too. He had a secret soft spot for romantic comedies, and sobbed the first time he wanted The Notebook — and every time after that. He fell easily for every beautiful person he met, and went above and beyond in relationships to plan perfect dates and surprise his partners with flowers and cute little gifts, just because. Since his mother’s death he’s closed down that side of himself, seeing it as naive and foolish. That romantic side of him is still in there somewhere, though he refuses to access it.

He’s bisexual as fuck, though he’s extremely repressed about it. Growing up, he knew his parents would never approve of him if he came out, and his entire youth was spent trying to appease his family. While he’s broken free of them now, it’s hard for him to shed the perfect image he spent so many years cultivating.

Hans was always considered to be charming, and he’s shocked at how easy it is to use his charm and good looks to get what he wants rather than working hard for it. Manipulating others is starting to come easy to him, and he’s grown accustomed to getting whatever he wants with a smile and a few well chosen compliments.

There are now two very different sides to Hans, and he is very careful and calculated about who gets to see which side of him. To most, he is the same charming man he’s ever been. He’s kind, considerate, trustworthy, and even a little bit dorky — he’s not one to harm a fly, let alone break your heart. To his closest friends, he lets his true colours show. He’s vain, selfish, and impatient, bordering on cruel. He knows exactly what he wants, and he’s not afraid to cause harm to get it.

Coming from a wealthy, socialite family, Hans never learned how to do anything particularly grueling, especially when it came to physical labour. Cooking and cleaning aren’t his strong suits, and if something breaks down in his house, has has absolutely no idea how to fix it. While there was a time when he would have put in the hard work, learning how to fix it himself, he now much prefers to throw money at it. Why deal with a problem yourself when you can pay someone else to do it?

He’s always had a taste for the finer things in life, and is known to be quite pretentious about it. Hans only wants the best clothes and cars money can buy, and he won’t be caught in anything less. He feels the same way about food and drink, and has particularly strong feelings about wine. He’s that obnoxious person in the restaurant that insists on sampling the wine first, sniffing and slurping and doing all the other disgusting things you can do to a glass of wine to test its quality. He will absolutely judge your worth based on the wine you order.

An extreme bibliophile, he prefers reading to watching movies or tv. He’s a lot smarter than he looks, and particularly enjoys reading historical nonfiction, and mystery or thriller novels. He finds that there are few people that can actually hold a conversation about a good book, and if you’re able to do so you’ll automatically earn his respect.

Looking for a job that will pay him well for doing the bare minimum, he fell into his job as a business strategy consultant. It’s a simple job: he comes into small businesses, analyzes what they’re doing wrong, and instructs them on all the ways they can improve. As far as he’s concerned, it’s the perfect job. He’s paid well to judge others, doll out commands, and do none of the hard work himself. Hans has become quite comfortable in his job, but he still feels as though there’s something missing.

Working tirelessly on a way he can finally one up his brothers, Hans finally figures out the one thing he can do: become a prince. They may all be successful in their respective fields, but becoming a ruler will make Hans rise above them once and for all, officially asserting his dominance and superiority despite being the youngest. In the back of his mind, he knows it’s a far fetched, ridiculous dream. But pushing those qualms aside, he has his sights set on one thing: becoming a beloved ruler. He doesn’t particularly care which kingdom he’ll rule, any will do, and he’s unconcerned about the methods he’ll have to use to get there. He’ll do anything to get what he wants, and doesn’t care who he hurts along the way.

All Hans really wants is to be a ruler, to take the eventual and rightful place of a king that has was born into. Waiting for all 13 of his brothers to either die or renounce their position as king will take far too long, and he’s sick of waiting. He now has his sights set outside of his own kingdom. Hans wants to rule, he isn’t particularly concerned with what kingdom.

wanted connections:

absolutely everything please! friends that know he’s a piece of shit, fake friends, exes, flings, business owners that want to hear why their business is shit.

[daggerzine]

Other Music documentary (2019- directed by Puloma Basu and Rob Hatch-Miller)  review by Dina Hornreich

“It is harder to put together than to take apart.” A plain and not-so simple comment coming from the former Other Music Record Store co-owners, Josh Madell and Chris Vanderloo, who are prominently featured in the film, as these words underscore a scene in which their crew is dismantling their once hallowed CD sales racks in preparation for the store’s reluctant closure. OM used to herald as a beacon of hope in NYC’s bustling offbeat East Village neighborhood, a cultural hub known as St. Marks Place – not far from New York University. (If you asked any New Yorker for directions, they would enthusiastically tell you to simply “get off at the stop for Astor Place Station from the #6 or #4 [subway] train: you will see the gigantic cube immediately after exiting the station...can’t miss it!”)

The OM store opened its doors in 1996, and officially closed in 2016. Twenty years is a very good run for any kind of establishment such as this one, especially in the Big Apple – a fact that was not taken lightly by the two makers of this film who each were an employee and a regular customer at the establishment themselves! And like the store itself: the film is an endeavor for music nerds by music nerds. (And, obviously, this Dagger Zine review is no different.)

For creatively inclined weirdos like us, OM was a place of refuge. It was a major meta-musical mecca that happened to take the form of a retail outlet which is a very bold endeavor to consider: an unusual existence as a cultural outlet that strove to challenge our knowledge, expand our awareness, and promote the discovery of completely unknown (even uncomfortable) expressions. This mentality was not conducive whatsoever to the slick sales-driven experience one might come to expect upon shopping for any traditional kind of consumable commodities. And we certainly did not receive that kind of treatment while shopping there anyway!

OM’s purpose was contrary to basic principles of economics because it was run by artistic types who believed in a much higher purpose behind what they were selling: it was a community focused approach. In doing so, they completely confounded the basic notion that we were purchasing mere commercial products to be unloaded for profit (like toothpaste). The store’s very existence was a subversive act of culture jamming in and of itself. This information in conjunction with a solid awareness of the cut-throat and risky nature involved with doing any kind of enterprising endeavors in NYC is extremely pertinent. (I was once told that any restaurant in NYC would be far more successful if it were in another location simply because the competition alone would be considerably less stiff.)

Instead, they were offering something very unusual to their customers by incorporating some kind of pseudo-quasi-intellectual discourse using extraordinarily inventively stylistic fusions and/or varied often inconceivable sonic experiments to create such astute, pithy, and massively passionate descriptions that would be entirely ineffective as a sales strategy to the less tolerant/picky shoppers at the overpowering Tower Records across the street. The store had a unique energy that was entirely its own manifestation. Bin categories had mysterious names such as: in, then, decadanse, etc. that baffled even the artists whose own work was often filed underneath them, as evidenced by the hesitant testimony provided by indie rock luminary Dean Wareham (of the bands Galaxie 500 and Luna). In fact, these idiosyncratically descriptive insider taxonomies were typically used as a rite of passage upon orienting new store employees to OM’s unique aesthetic.  

The delectably raw live in-store performance footage of more acquired tastes, but definitely well-loved by those “in the know,” included bands who simply could not have thrived in the same ways at more conventional outlets: The Apples in Stereo, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Rapture, etc. The most delightfully peculiar act might have been delivered by a performer named Gary Wilson whose legendary appearance began with him surreptitiously entering the store while beneath a blanket and then (from behind the scenes, presumably) covering himself in talcum powder prior to seizing the stage with unabashedly alarming flamboyance – with only the playful tunes that would we expect to appropriately match that indelible image so gloriously!

And that was precisely the point: they were unequivocally rebelling against more conventional music consumption habits by offering an entirely different kind of taste-making experience that was kind of less palatable overall – and, in doing so, they even helped launch the careers of some important figures: Vampire Weekend, Animal Collective, and Interpol. The description of the “consignment” process for emerging artists who managed to attain a place on their sanctified shelves seemed extraordinarily modest considering the scope and nature of the impact it offered. There was a lot of social currency behind the OM brand.

The inclusion of a parody skit starring Aziz Anzari and Andy Blitz (available here as well https://youtu.be/YN1mKiQbi4g), followed by the various customer testimonials (including actor and musician Jason Schwartzman), indicated that they may have exuded more than a hint of an unflatteringly, even off-putting, air of NYC hipster pretentiousness akin to that portrayed in the Nick Hornby book, Stephen Frears movie, and/or the new Hulu series (involving both Hornby and Frears): High Fidelity. However, there were clearly very good reasons for them to do this: They represented an extreme mishmash of strange characters who collectively embodied all the historically marginalized shapes, sizes, colors among other attributes that would not have been celebrated (or considered marketable) elsewhere. If they weren’t a little snooty, they probably would have been mocked entirely – as evidenced by an astute and pithy comment by a long-time store employee describing Animal Collective as appearing like a “sinister Fraggle Rock on acid.”

These artists never aspired to becoming real “rock stars” anyway – on the contrary, they embodied the antithesis of that concept. (A point made abundantly clear as they bookended the film with footage of ordinary musicians simply marching through the streets of NYC.) Literally, OM offered shelter to those of us who are able to truly appreciate the anthemic idea behind the phrase: “songs in the key of Z.” It was a place for gathering the outsiders among outsiders, in other words.

It is impossible to ignore various impressive personalities who made appearances throughout the film, in both large and small roles. This includes but is not limited to major NYC scene contributors such as Lizzy Goodman, author of the equally compelling and similarly themed book: Meet Me in the Bathroom: Rebirth and Rock’n Roll in New York City 2001-2011. Footage in the film included key figures in influential bands including: TV on the Radio, Le Tigre, The National, Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (all of whom are also featured in Goodman’s book). You can also see glimpses of varied lesser known, yet supremely compelling figures of that era, including writers Kandia Krazy Horse and Geeta Dayal, and former store employees such as Lisa Garrett and Gerald Hammill.

These conversations take place until we eventually witness the demise of Tower across the street (and its many ilk of like-minded big box stores) which clearly signaled the ever-looming end for Vanderloo and Madell’s opus-like enterprise. A point that musician Stephin Merritt, best known for so many stellar masterpieces with his longest-running outfit, The Magnetic Fields, emphasizes upon casually observing the degrading presence of a fitness studio franchise that has since taken up residence in the spot that used to house Tower’s second floor. (I failed to try and restrain myself from recalling a new sense of irony from the lyrical lines that Merritt himself had written and recorded around 1991: “Why do we still live here.. In this repulsive town? All our friends are in New York.”)

There is also a bit of an underlying insinuation only apparent from random customer shots throughout the store regarding a possible impact from the Rough Trade Records shop that had recently opened in Brooklyn around the time of OM’s closing. This is exceedingly apparent to this biased writer herself who personally ventured out to that Williamsburg location last year for an in-store performance with NYU Punk Professor, Vivien Goldman, who had just published her own book Revenge of the She Punks. An event whose audience clearly included some members of the OM community featured in this film as I recall the store had heavily lauded her Resolutionary compilation album release prior to its official closing.

As the film successfully affirms the significance behind record store culture (especially in a global hub like NYC) which has long been hailed as a sacred gathering space for various misfits and weirdos who might find significantly less understanding and/or productive social outlets in other circumstances; its unavoidable bittersweet conclusion dramatically asserts how disappointing it is for us to witness the complete loss in their consistently tenuous financial viability as we are well into the digital information age – if not for the simple fact that paying for music (or any kind of intellectual property) is more commonly perceived as an anachronistic practice which is a clear and painful affront to all the prescient creative geniuses who are struggling to make an honest living off their work.

The film highlights the many multifaceted aspects that we fondly and endearingly associate with the appreciation of music that lies at the heart of the irrational fervor behind record collecting culture: the smell of the vinyl itself, the enormous visual impact around the artists’ choices for cover art, the substantial weight it possesses when we remove it from the sleeve, the delicacy necessary to handle vinyl so as to minimize any potential damage, its often very limited quantities as it is not cost-efficient to produce (the obscurity is intrinsically part of the exhilaration surrounding this “hunt”) among other substantial inconveniences that more or less confirm this as an unproductive – if not entirely illogical – endeavor overall!

Of course, it has always been very apparent to us that we were engaged in some insanely addictive bizarre kinds of quests that kept leading us to this absurd little locale in the first place – desperately trying to pacify some nebulous and insatiable deep cravings that we couldn’t always articulate… yet it always kept us coming back for more! As Mac McCaughan from the bands Superchunk and Portastic, as well as co-owner of Merge Records, astutely concludes: “They knew what you wanted before you knew.” (Of course, they did!)

The overarching and staunch message of this film is most apparent during the final closing scenes when we are eavesdropping on a conversation that the former co-owner, Josh Madell, is having with his young daughter about simply streaming the Hamilton Soundtrack on Spotify because the vinyl copy would have cost her $90 in the store. Perhaps even more ironic, of course, might be suggested by the very relevant context in which we find ourselves today: the annual Record Store Day celebratory event with which the film’s re-release was planned to coincide obviously could not happen. As a result, I was reluctantly watching it, albeit self-consciously, on my 13” laptop screen in my home office during the self-quarantine of COVID-19. Half the proceeds for the “tickets” were to be used to support one of my favorite local record shops here in Denver, CO, Twist and Shout, who may or may not be able to reopen as this pandemic situation evolves.

There are bigger questions to contemplate as the tide of change has only just begun in ways that only a tragedy, such as a worldwide pandemic, can facilitate for even the most obstinate luddites who have no choice but to incorporate regular use of digital formats in their daily habits – and we totally have, of course! This documentary remains as unequivocal evidence of the viability behind OM as it stood as an historic cultural hub that transcended the fundamental premise behind a commercial retail outlet. (Even though retail was once considered the only aspect of the industry where substantial money could be made. In fact, a measure of an artists’ success was often the number of albums they actually sold.) As its impact clearly exceeds its impressive years as a store-front operated business, it may also indicate a shortcoming in mainstream outlets who tend to ignore, silence, dismiss, and otherwise relegate the disempowered voices in our community – which, of course, are the major reasons that forced us to seek out these alternate forums in the first place.

The role of arts and culture for society is in fact to provide the very same opportunities that OM offered to us, which is (to reiterate that point from above) to provide an opportunity for discourse that challenges our knowledge, expands our awareness, and promotes the discovery of the completely unknown (even uncomfortable) expressions. These conversations give our lives meaning and force us to continually improve ourselves on many levels. While such commentaries could be considered an acquired taste or even an entirely esoteric endeavor, the crucial sensibilities they offer hold enormous potential for a world that honestly seems to need to hear from us… now more than ever!

If only we could find a better way to invite the integration of our perspectives into the bigger conversations? So that we can participate in the innovations for the changed world that will be waiting for us – and to ensure that it will be a more inclusive place for all of us. Which is perhaps what we ultimately (and so desperately) need, want, and deserve. The alternatives seem frighteningly Orwellian… at the risk of seeming a bit histrionic.

http://www.factorytwentyfive.com/other-music/?fbclid=IwAR3wtvtOKKC46YmfwjB6zv0wp5GMh4YBHFuWk0aLOti5m2NSs8PFChjrK4M

[fantroll-purgatory]

Fantrolls: A Self-Review Guide

I wanted to write up a quick guide on how I handle reviews in case you guys wanted to do some Homework on your fantrolls while our submit box is closed for the next little while. I’ll break it down part by part. 

Themes: People don’t always tell us the themes outright, but when I’m analyzing a troll, it’s usually where I start. I read through the whole thing and either mentally Or physically write down a note of everything I see. I ask a couple of questions:

-What are they trying to accomplish? What is your goal here? Keep that in mind throughout the character building to make sure you do what you set out to do. If you want to build a certain type of character, have that type in mind while making decisions. There should be no frivolous decisions when building a character- everything should in some small way define this character. 

-If there are multiple themes, how do these ideas connect? Is there a way to do it better? Is there anything extraneous? At this point, if there’s anything unnecessarily clunky getting in the way of the theme pulling through strong, you may want to ax it, or make it a less important part of the character without deleting it entirely. Remember here that sometimes less is more- for example, Orion is already a lot of themeatic baggage, you don’t need to try to make Orion the Barber Shop Quartet Masseuse (though you could, I guess). 

-What do I already know about this theme? And what more could I know? So at this point, if the character theme is... for example, knights, I’d mentally go through everything I know about knights. They’re noble, they’re chivalrous, they have a code, the style and responsibilities have changed over time, they appear in a lot of stories... I ask myself a question like- are they trying to theme after Real knights or Storybook knights, because those are different? And then I research whichever direction they’re leaning. Here you should gather up as much trivia as you can. If you’re not fond of Extensive research, a wiki walk should be okay for most themes (some must be handled with more tact than that, but generally speaking).  Pick which parts of this information interest you and that you want to incorporate and which parts don’t interest you so much, then as you build the character keep these parts in mind. 

Name: I have a bit of a tendency to be most lenient here except when it comes to names that are just Totally off kilter or names that are insensitive in some way. You can get really attached to names, so it’s understandable when you get wary about changes. A good way to combat this is to come up with a themed name in the first place. If you already have a character, though, renaming can be tricky. 

You can look for etymological roots for the name, alternative spellings and older versions. Barring that, look for words that have a similar vibe. Search up words that have the same first 3 letters and work from there. It can be a good way to preserve the feeling of the name!

If you’re not renaming and are just looking for a regular way to find names, there are lots and lots of options. Look for historical figures that have names that would not be common or read as names today, look for animal scientific names, look for fields of study, look for artforms or art movements that reflect the attitude you’re going for, look for various stars/constellations, make puns, take etymological roots of words, the world is your Oyster. 

Age: This part is pretty easy and mostly relies on the kind of story you’re interested in telling with this character. Are they young and reckless and a little less experienced? Are they older and living out their last few sweeps on the planet, trying to prepare for or avoid their inevitable future? Are they old enough that they’re just about to be taken off planet and are coping with that? Are they an adult out in space, on the colonialist homefront? Or are they hiding out on Alternia, trying to avoid capture?

Strife Specibus: The #1 rule to keep in mind here is that while fitting the theme is fun, don’t go too specific here. The only time you should have a highly specific weapon is as a joke-- like Fancysantakind. Otherwise people usually have some pretty general weaponry- hammers, guns, sickles, swords. You can alchemize them into newer and cooler forms later, don’t stifle yourself by restricting things too specifically. Instead of butcherknifekind, do knifekind for example. They can still specifically use a butcher knife, but they now have more options, too. Make sure to pick a fun and fitting weapon- you probably don’t want to give a ballerina character a gun, for example. 

Fetch Modus: This one is definitely a little bit trickier. This is where the trivia you researched will probably help you best. The general rule is that fetch modii need to be Functional but Inconvenient. They’re not all wild- there’s ones like the Wallet Modus that are generally pretty normal. A more utilitarian character will probably pick a normal modus that just Works without all the inconvenience. 

You want to keep in mind your character’s personality. Are they stubborn enough to work through the inconvenience or do they need something a little simpler? Are they clever and so they like the challenge, or do they prefer something straightforward? If they play favorites, they might like a modus that keeps their favorite things up top. If they’re more egalitarian, they might have a modus that only lets them eject the least-used item first. Things like that! 

When in doubt, you can always search for a boardgame or simple computer game that fits your theme.

Blood color: When it comes to this, you basically want to make sure you’re considering your character’s social status. Are they an underdog or a big dog? Do you want them to have that purple rage or do you want them to be more mellow? Are psychic abilities important to their character and themeing or would they be just as well in the olive slot? Once again you want to keep in mind that question of What Are You Trying To Accomplish? Don’t arbitrarily position your character, keep in mind the blood traits and use those to your Advantage when character building. 

Symbol and meaning: This one’s both tricky and has a lot of room! You can use one of the extended zodiac for your character, obviously. There’s also other constellations, alchemical symbols, etc, etc. I’ve listed bunches of various symbols that can be used before, you just have to look for what fits the Vibes. The Themes. You can also always just make or adapt your own based on the sign languages! We’ve had a few people take symbols like The Atari symbol and just edit it to fit a sign language- stuff like that can work out well! 

Trolltag: Get Fun. Don’t be scared to use really long and pretentious words- the more pretentious the better. The most important rule here is, though-- remember that characters “pick their own” trolltag. In character, this is the username that your oc has chosen themself. This means that you have to choose a name that they would use to describe themself. You can’t insult or mock them in the trolltag unless they would insult themself. This troll tag represents their interests and what image they want to put out to the people they talk to online. 

Quirk: Quirks are another area where you can do literally anything, really. Reflecting the symbol or a number theme is always a good and easy way to go, making references to lusii, making references to stars, choose how they emphasize, choose how they capitalize. Are they formal or casual and all that can inform the quirk, too. 

Equally important to quirk is the Way they talk. Do they use a lot of slang or formal grammar? Do they abbreviate or always use long forms? Do they use purple prose or only really simple words? Are they quick? Choppy? Do they ask lots of rhetorical questions? Are they long-winded continuing to ramble on forever and ever without pause all the time or do they only do that sort of thing when they’re nervous or never at all? Do they show all their anger through chat or do they carefully structure everything to present a perfect image? Lots of emoticons or none? 

Special Abilities (if any): Remember that rusts through golds all tend to have certain amount of abilities (though some golds seem to Possibly not have psionics, the rules around this aren’t Quite so clearly defined yet) in order to make up for the fact that they’re physically weaker. Don’t just take them on- try to make them the character’s own. Goldbloods tend to have doublesight, meaning their psionics come with some kind of futuresight- use that uniquely, make it something special and themeatically appropriate. There are many different types of telekinesis, so don’t be afraid to explore for a rust. Don’t forget that indigos have Strength and purples have chucklevoodoos. 

Lusus: For some trolls this is really easy. It’s a Themeatically appropriate animal. It can get a little trickier than that with some themes, though. When it comes to those kinds of themes, look for animals that have symbolism behind them that might represent some virtue your character holds, or that shows up in iconography around your theme. Another simple solution is Environmental play. If you can think of a themeatically appropriate hive or hive location for your character, start looking into what kinds of animals live there and pick one of those! You can also think functionally- what do you want the lusus to do for your troll. Conflict or comfort? Those things can feed your decision for the lusus. 

Keep in mind the lusii patterns. Winged lusii tend not to show up until ~Jade/Teal or higher, though there’s exceptions for themeatic mutations. It seems like Mammals even of the mythical variety are most common for rusts, browns, golds, and olives. We don’t know much about limes/cherry reds, but arthropods are acceptable for them. Once you hit Jade+, reptiles and insects come into play. Lusii can HAVE disturbingly human halves. It also seems like Actual Musclebeasts cannot be lusii in most cases because they are... terrifying. Purples have Aquatic Mammals. Violets have actual water creatures, not aquatic mammals. Fuchsias have The Squid Mom, but can adopt additional pets! 

Also remember that lusii are a big part of a troll’s life. You can work those into the character backstory and personality really beautifully. Vriska’s brutality, for example, comes in part from the fact that she’s had to kill people her whole life to keep her lusus alive. What are your lusus’ needs? What is their relationship like with your troll? How has that impacted your troll’s personality? 

Personality: I’ve done a bigger post about this elsewhere, so I won’t go into this too heavily here, but remember that you want depth. Don’t just say They’re Nice and move along! Niceness has facets that can be explored. Keep in mind again that question of what do you want to accomplish. If you have a guard character, are you looking for a stern and serious guard, or a guard who is trying their best but is a little clumsy? Either could be objectively nice, but have different levels of professionalism, different ways of approaching their job. Think about character motivations here, why do they do what they do? What are their relationships like? This is what makes your character really shine, so give them the attention they deserve!

Interests: Interests tend to be in a feedback loop with personality and themes. You want themeatic and unique interests. You don’t Just want video games and music, because most people like those. Sure, you could have a character who likes those to a Big Degree and then it would be important, but you should always get more specific here. I like googling lists of hobbies, or even looking at the wikipedia List of Hobbies. You can usually scroll through and spot lots of things you’ve never heard of before. Unique, quirky interests can breed the kind of Weird Specificity spark into your character that a lot of trolls have. Make sure the hobbies have an ends to them, too. Your character should either do them for fun or in pursuit of a goal, not just because you said they do it! 

Title: Now this is a liiittle too complicated of a topic to really cover in a single section, because titles have been being debated over forever and ever. Basically speaking, you just want to look at the character’s personality, look at their strengths and weaknesses. Decide if you want to strengthen their strengths or help them work on their weaknesses and become better, and then pick which title fits that. I’ve discussed the aspect traits in a post before, so you can use that as a loose guide to help you find your way (though this blog and classpeculation are still open to help you out if you need it)!

Land: We unfortunately haven’t been told much about lands or quests in Homestuck official lore, since most characters never even finished their quests. But what we know is quests have to do with title and probably have to do with the kind of growth into the role that the title implies. When you’re naming a Land, a good general rule is to do Land of [A descriptor of some kind, something that describes the vibe and appearance of the land] and [Something quest related, something that implies the goal]. A good example is John’s Land of Wind and Shade, and Rose’s Land of Light and Rain. 

Dream Planet: I’ve also discussed lunar sway assigning in another post before, so I won’t go into big detail here. You just need to make sure that it reflects your character’s personality and way of interacting with the world. Don’t be biased by aesthetics- Nepeta is a dersite despite being bubbly and Vriska is a prospitian despite being a bastard, after all. 

Design: We have a whole big post about Alternian fashion design rules. In general, you just want your design to be Functional (unless you have an over the top character who doesn’t care about function!) and Theme-Appropriate. Does it fit the character’s vibe? Does it fit their caste? A lowblood character with a noble moirail will more likely better clothes than one who is entirely self-reliant, for example. Does it fit what we know about personality? A hermit and agoraphobe will want to stand out less than a flashy fame-seeker. Does it fit their occupation or their hobbies? Those are the kinds of ideas to consider! When all else fails, a pair of nice jeans and a t-shirt usually work. 

Also be careful when designing past-inspired characters. In Homestuck canon, even characters who are very interested in their ancestors in the past don’t tend to dress like it’s ancient times in ALL the time or in all ways. It’s unlikely most characters will want to walk around in a full suit of armor Even if they’re knight-themed unless you give strong character reason for that being the case! 

I hope this all helps you guys with character building even when we’re on break from full reviews! Thank you for the time and all of your support! ❤

-CD

[saintaugustinerp]

Congratulations Holly! You have been accepted for the role of The Golden Heir with the faceclaim Émile Woon. Please be sure to check out the accepted applicants checklist! Also be sure send us a link to your blog within the next twenty-four hours. Welcome to St. Augustine!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name/alias: holly

Age (18+) : 21

Gender/Preferred pronouns: female, she/her

Timezone: pst

IN CHARACTER

Desired Skeleton: The Golden Heir Character Name: Julien Moreau

Age (18+): Twenty-one

Gender/Pronouns: Cismale, he/him

Hometown: Ottawa, Canada

Major: Political Science

Desired Faceclaim: Émile Woon

Character blurb:

He gingerly steps onto the platform, toting rosy cheeks and a practiced grace. This is understandable considering the lineage he stems from — a background that everyone who surrounds him is intimately aware of, including you. He is well-dressed, well-fed, well-loved, and all of these factors exude from every pore of his being. There is a faint glow that radiates from him; the aura of untouched naivety, of someone who lives blissfully free of worldly worries. He offers you a warm grin as he walks past, though it does not seem to reach his eyes. Still, you cannot help but smile back.

Developed Headcanons:

HISTORY: Julien’s father is the highly respected speaker for the Canadian parliament, and his mother runs a slew of non-profit foundations, and deems herself a socialite in her off hours (read: stay-at-home mom, without much of the mom part, and more of the thinly veiled alcoholism and marital problems). He has one sibling — a bratty younger sister, Anais — who he deeply cherishes. His family name is delicately braided into the foundations of the French and Canadian governments; information that is well-known to familial outsiders. All of them have established connections in high places, as their reputation and lineage overshadow any and all other personal details.

His childhood is etiquette classes, private tutors, lavish events, and the echoes of empty rooms in a house that is far too large. The essential fares of a lonely rich boy, though he doesn’t consider himself to be particularly lonesome. He is well-off and pampered, with parents who pay heaps of attention to him, despite being caught up in their own affairs. He is showered with near endless accolades throughout his youth, grooming a belief that the world is giving and kind, and the people who inhabit it are inherently good, keeping him trapped in a bubble of opulent warmth.

Though every moment is quietly controlled, and every action laced with the constant fear of mistake or failure, he is still — generally — quite contented with his life.

(Or at least, he can fake it enough to make everyone believe that, including himself.)

PERSONALITY: ( alignment — lawful neutral / mbti — esfj / zodiac — taurus )

His image is clean-cut and untarnished, making it easy for others to project whatever they desire onto him. Everyone who surrounds him views him differently — the golden child, the loving friend, the gifted student, the talented athlete. None of the interpretations ever seem to skew on the negative side, at least the ones he is aware of.

He was bred to hold a fear of negative emotions, and shown that the only viable option to stay above the heap is to project a very particular image. Those kinds of feelings are to be expressed only in private, only out of the public eye, if expressed at all. Interactions between his family unit are either unbearably positive in that ‘a very special episode’ sort of way, or heavily weighted periods of uncomfortable silence.This has contributed to a complete suppression of negative feelings, to the point that for a long while, it appeared they were going to exist in a permanent lock-down.

The events of the past year have proven to be an excellent lock-pick, as gradual cracks in the canvas have begun to form. Within, he is a deeply troubled kid. Worrying lack of sleep, poorly handled stress, a penchant for watching depressing foreign films alone at 4 AM — these are all signs of deeper problems that he tries to brush off as simple character quirks when questioned. This neuroticism has begun to peek through the holes in occasional blowout fits of rage and depression — the aftermath of which are always desperate apologies and sheer embarrassment. The last thing he desires is pity, or for any word of these growing issues to get out into the world. His feelings are for him to repress all by himself, thank you very much.

THE PARASITE: The beginnings of Julien’s relationship with The Parasite were primarily rooted in the image obsession he has been bred with, though it certainly has bloomed into true and deep affections. He has always been somewhat of a romantic; compelled toward soppy love stories and the concept of soulmates. That four letter word does hang unspoken on his lips, and was a mere fraction away from spilling until Frederick’s death. His head has been significantly more cloudy since — though he still considers The Parasite to be one of the few presences that can truly ground him. (Oh, poor naive soul.)

THE FALLEN ANGEL: There are not many freedoms offered to Julien in the way of natural youthful rebellion, as he had been directed onto a very particular path without much room for deviation. This factor led to the development of a deep jealousy toward his peers who were permitted to run freely, feel the wind in their hair and all that cliche ‘coming-of-age’ nonsense. This jealousy presents itself in his adult life as a sense of superiority over those who live recklessly, and of those who experience the consequences. If he is able to keep his head on straight, exist carefully between the lines, why should he be expected to sympathize with those who throw that all away?

The Fallen Angel’s fall from grace is tragic, yes, but in his mind, they are simply facing the heat for their actions. Julien harbors regret for how he has treated them, but he cannot be expected to throw his work, his reputation, his name into the flames to keep one person warm.

THE GOOD SAMARITAN: They were rugby teammates and friends, and though it’d be a stretch to say they were close, there was never any bad blood or tension between them — as two kindhearted and popular year twos, they got along quite well.

Frederick’s death has proven to be quite the blow to Julien’s mental state. He grew up incredibly sheltered from the pains of the world, outside of the charity balls his mother would throw for starving children or dying animals or whatever tragedy she chose to care about that month, so being personally involved in one has resulted in feelings he is unaccustomed to. He carries the thought that he could’ve done something, if only he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his own business. If he would’ve just been paying attention, he would’ve seen him wander off into the woods alone… he has been plagued by recurring nightmares about the bonfire in light of this guilt.

MAJOR: Political Science was not quite the major he would’ve chosen for himself, but it was essentially a base level expectation that he would follow in the footsteps of his family and pursue a career in the political world. He receives high marks, but has approximately zero passion for the work he is doing. He is still about a second away from switching to Philosophy or Literature or anything that would be more engaging.

INTERESTS: He has a frankly astounding addiction to caffeine. Seeing as he very rarely gets enough sleep — both due to his schedule being packed to the brim, and his own propensity for staying up for no reason — he relies on about five cups of coffee a day. (Or a noxious mix of random energy drinks and an assortment of painfully sugary candy, though that is a potion for only the most dire of occasions.)

As a pretentious child of wealth, offered private schools and personalized tutoring, it is only natural Julien adore reading as an adult. He was raised on the pompous classics, though his all time favorite book will forever be The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

Though he grew up in a house with maids, his mother always made certain that baked goods were personally prepared with her family recipes. And as a boy with a sweet tooth that will not quit, a blend of Malay and French desserts comprise the most nostalgic flavors of his childhood. In times of immense stress, he would sneak to their expansive kitchen in the middle of the night, hastily (and poorly) prepare a galette or a red bean kuih or whatever else his tongue was vying for, and scarf it down like a seasoned champ. Nowadays, he’s replaced this stress relief with a (decidedly worse) smoking habit. The lack of filling pastries with the addition of endless packs of cigs has contributed to bad breath and a stomach that is perpetually craving a sugar rush.

AESTHETIC: Decorative lattes, thick hardcover books, untouched piles of snow, cozy turtlenecks, rose bushes, the click of shoes on tiled floors, kiss-swollen lips, acoustics with loads of reverb, leather oxfords, a lightly floured cutting board, whiskey glasses, ugly babies from historical paintings, ashtrays, Baz Luhrman films, an icy rugby field, the drone of coffee-shop chatter, the moment of stillness before sunrise.

Writing Sample:

The gentle glow of soft orange light. The burn that builds in the pit of his belly, flooding his veins and tingling down into his toes. A warm and inviting hand, curled into his own. Eyes crinkling with a joke being told; a genuine smile that makes his cheeks hurt.

Snow falls from the heavens. The flakes that drift before his vision, that pile softly around his feet, are blood red. He looks up — the sky is a dark crimson. When his eyes drop, everyone around the fire has vanished, leaving Frederick alone, slumped unnaturally. He tries to call to him, but no sound comes out.

Frederick turns, and his eyes are pitch black.

Julien jolts up. His breathing is labored, erratic, and his hair lays flush against his forehead, glistened with a cold sweat. His heart is making it well known that it desires a very promptexit from his chest, banging wildly against the walls of his ribcage. He spares an errant glance at the clock at his bedside — 5:32 AM — an offers a heaving sigh. A half-hour of sleep feels hardly worth it, moreso considering his mind will need far longer to quiet down.

Thin legs swing from a cozy cocoon of three thick woven quilts, and goosebumps immediately take residence. He snatches a cigarette and a well-worn lighter from his side-table, delicately plodding toward the dorm window. Oh, if only his mother could see him now: up before sunrise, eyes weighed by bags so large they could declare themselves a sovereign nation, with the final cigarette from his pack held between deft fingers. Not to mention the sheer illegality of it all, what, with him lighting up in his room. A room that was the previous lodging of monks, no less. He figures recurring horrific nightmares about your dead friend are a sound enough excuse.

(He is, however, unsure if the monks would accept that.)

He props himself beside the window, eyes grazing the skyline. The view is less than engaging at this time of the morning — snow-capped roofs, flurried flakes, and an almost uncomfortable stillness. There are a few quiet flicks, before the flames spring to life in the darkness. The smoke comes soon after, wafting in a delicate stream up to the ceiling.

How long would it take to get over this? Another puff toward the ceiling. Months? Years? He was a friend, but their closeness was nothing to write home about, so how does it figure that he is still so hung up? He has always vied to befriend everyone in their year. He’s not sure how he’d react if this happened to anyone else. Would his brain plague him with countless dreams then?

Just my year, now, he thinks, after a moment. Another puff.

Maybe he would never be over it, cursed to exist obliviously warmed and content by the bonfire, Frederick’s blackened eyes forever on him.

Other: i created a mockblog right here that is available for perusal! also thank you for reading this gigantic wall!!!!!!! :^)

[birdsofchristmas]

Chapter 2: Mrs. Barber’s Annual Mennonite Christmas Pageant

At best a Christmas pageant is an inspirational, memorable highlight to any great holiday season. At worse it can be a sappy, uninteresting, pitiable series of off key songs and heartless dance numbers. Now I’m not pretentious when it comes to seeing pageants, but I’ve seen enough in my day to know what I like and what I don’t like.

When it comes to seeing my two nieces and nephew performing in a christmas play however they can do no wrong. This year will be their third performance as an acting ensemble, a now annual tradition of mine that gets better with each performance. Their It’s a Wonderful Life was magnificent, Their Christmas Carol brought me to tears, their Charlie Brown Christmas was nothing short of Tony-worthy. This year’s traditional interpretation of the Nativity Story was already receiving buzz among the local church going community, enough so that they were doing two performances, both of which I had reserved front row seats for.

“Oh well sir, we don’t reserve seats for our Christmas plays”, the pastor of the church had informed me when I phoned him in August inquiring about the performance, “we do have a section for attendees who have mobility issues, but it’s really more of a priority seating area”. “Ah ok, well that should be fine,” I replied, picturing in my mind the red wheelchair stored in my parent’s garage, which I’d used after recovering from surgery 3 years ago.

I imagined myself rolling down the aisle past all the crowded pews, right into the VIP section reserved for differently abled folks and recent retirees, enjoying the grand spectacle with the best possible view one could hope for. But then I imagined myself at the pearly gates having to explain to our good lord my reasoning for feigning being immobile for a good seat at a children’s Christmas play, and decided it might be best to take my chances in terms of seating at the event. Nonetheless I would arrive early, very early.

The night of the dress rehearsal had come. In preparation for the event I booked off 3 days from work to travel out to the Fraser Valley where the plays took place. My aunt and uncle had driven in from Calgary, camping out in their converted camping van, which they let borrow to rally the troops- first to my sister’s house to pick up my youngest niece, then to my younger of two brothers to pick up my other niece and my nephew.

I pulled into the Church parking lot which looked to be the size of 3 CFL football fields, and proudly lead my acting crew through the gleaming glass doors towards the auditorium.

The kids ran down the center aisle stomping and laughing with excitement, then disappearing behind tall blue and pink banners on the stage into the “green room”, which was just the youth pastor’s office repurposed with mirrors and standing closet hangers.

Mrs. Barber rolled her eyes and said “Oh hi Adam, I received the email you sent me with the 3 pages of set notes… thanks for that.” And she should be thankful, I for one was quite proud of my contribution. Just imagine how shabby and unprofessional these plays would be without my astute, well placed insights on the fine art of stage acting. I was from the city after all, I should know, I’ve been to the fringe festival at least 3 times.

One niece and my nephew had the part of Mary and Joseph, obviously. My other neice was playing a shepherd, a role I insisted she be cast for in to create a fair gender-balanced performance including having female cast members take on the position of traditionally masculine roles. “Oh trust me Adam,” Mrs. Barber had replied earlier, “I grew up in Kitsalano in the 70’s, I know all about balanced gender roles”.

Mrs. Barber, bless her heart, did agree to let me help out with the costumes and makeup design as long as I promised not to throw roses onto the stage and shout “bravo”, and so in the weeks leading up to the play I was busy at work helping to dress the ensemble.

When it comes to costume design I prided myself on my keen ability to upcycle even the most irredeemable articles of sad discarded clothing, performing great miracles on a shoestring budget. Their robes were my dad’s old cardigans repurposed as desert travel wear, with head scarfs made of terry cloth towels brought together in color sequence with sashes made from curtains I found discarded in the laundry room of my apartment.

What unfolded was a splendid practice run. The actors remembered their lines, the touching moments were indeed touching, the funny moments were laugh out loud, best of all the costumes looked amazing. The play had a few minor missteps with dialogue which is what is to be expected with a dress rehearsal. Young Sarah Friesen the angel forgetting one of her lines for instance or Ryan Klassen the front half of the camel seeming terribly uncoordinated. The back half of the camel however was without flaw, marching with as handsome a strut I’d ever seen coming from a camel.

“Now, why don’t they give him a better part? I said to my sister, “they really should give him a better part next year”. The back half of the camel was played by young Jimmy Froese who I thought darn near stole the show last year playing the ringing bell at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life.

Finally the night of the performance came. It was snowing lightly just after 5pm, the streets were almost silent and peaceful. We’d gathered at my younger brother’s house for a light sandwich dinner after which we assigned transportation to the church. The stage was set, the seats were filling up, and there was a friendly hum of conversations in the air as the congregation shook hands, sipped coffee and ate shortbread cookies shaped like angels, stars, and Christmas trees.

The lights in the foyer blinked once, twice, and the crowd made their way to their seats. The curtains were drawn, and the performance began with an opening overture of strings leading the choir into the emotive and heart touching first lines  “Mary, Did You Know”, complete with choreographed panning lights and a smoke machine.

Overseeing the play in the corner on a single hardwood pew seat was a kid with a long, pointed grey beard, a simple blue head covering and a faded red cloak. My sister leaned over and asked “is that supposed to be Santa, or Gandalf?” I whispered back, “Actually I think that’s Menno Simmons”.

It seemed Ms. Barber was going for more of a historical slant this year, starting with the first Christmas, jumping ahead to Christmas in the 1700s, then landing at Christmas in 1993, finally arriving in the present day as evidenced by the fact that the 3 wise men were being played by an all-female cast. A beaming sign next to the manger that proclaimed “#SmashThePatriarchy” wouldn’t have seemed at all out of place.

Indeed Mrs. Barber had outdone herself this year, but not entirely in a good way. The content of the play was very well thought out and artfully presented, it was the length of the play that seemed to be the weak point. By the 63rd straight minute of dialogue and character development the large cast of kids on the stage were starting to get restless.

By minute 74 there was murmuring in the audience as some of the more bored kids started improvising their lines, veering madly away from what seemed to be the script. No-one could really tell the difference at the point. The dialogue would not have seemed out of place in a David Lynch movie, but I don’t think that’s what the play was going for. For the audience of mostly rural conservative Mennonites it was too baffling to the handle.

The other actors had to sway too to keep up with the detractors. Minute by as the proverbial pageant ship was being tossed by the waves your started to fear maybe this story was going to end as a shipwreck.

The further into their new routine the cast continued in the more uncomfortable the feeling in the church became. Improv turned to shouting, acting turned to hooting and hollering, subtle movement turned to running and jumping! The shepherds were stick-fighting with their staffs, the angel had fallen off the back of the stage and Mary was laughing so hard she dropped the baby Jesus.

The audience was shuffling around in their seats and some adults had started standing up and making their way to the back doors. One of the pastors had the genius idea to walk huddled over to the brass band- perhaps if they start playing, he must have thought, it will drown out the chaos. The crowd seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief as the kids quieted down for the final singing portion of the evening, heralding a much anticipated and hoped for end to the cheery holiday travesty.

The choir and audience started equally pitifully, with off key notes and staggered time signatures, mumbling most of the lyrics. But as the voices rose into a glowing chorus of Silent Night, Holy Night, all is calm, all is bright I could sense something was different. There in the midst of the passable melodies a sweet, soulful, mournfully beautiful sounding voice rose up like Rudolph’s nose in a snowstorm.

The audience, the cast, even the live donkey brought in from the Graham Family farm looked around to see where the voice was coming from. For a second I expected to see Roma Downey from touched by an angel walk out glowingly from one corner of the stage and say in her culturally indistinguishable accent “I’m an angel, sent from God to save this trainwreck of a Christmas play”.

Then emerging from the back of the stage through the artificial smoke, there was a boy wearing an odd costume of a furry pair of hooved legs that came up to his shoulders. I looked closely and sure enough, it was Jimmy Froese, the back half of the two-person camel costume! He had loosened himself from the front half of the costume and stood there in the light of the nativity scene like a fawn balancing on his two hooves.  

As purposefully as a sunrise the brass band began to play, first the baritones and tuba, then the trumpets, and finally the trombones. The audience joined in at the second verse, the whole congregation singing with gusto. As the final notes echoed throughout the church Jimmy sang the refrain one last time, lingering on every line with a pure, warbling falsetto, and by the end there wasn’t a single dry eye in the entire audience. The whole auditorium rose in rapturous applause, standing to their feet in a spontaneous ovation cheering loudly for Jimmy Froese, the saviour of the Christmas pageant!

Mrs. Barber appeared carrying a microphone, beaming as if she’d planned the whole thing saying “Thank you, oh thank you, my now wasn’t that a charming show, and my what a voice, who would have thought,” patting Jimmy on the head.

Jimmy smiled and his proud parents in the third row wiped away tears of joy. “Now see,” I said to my sister, “I told you they should have given him a better part, that kid has promise!”

[the-desolated-quill]

Vincent And The Doctor - Doctor Who blog (People Like This Episode?)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Oh I hate talking about these kinds of stories! The ones that receive critical acclaim and are adored by fans because of how deep and meaningful they supposedly are, and then I have to come along and explain why those episodes are nothing but pretentious, patronising bollocks.

Okay. Two disclaimers. I’m not very fond of Doctor Who’s celebrity historical episodes because they’re usually just an excuse for the writers to wank themselves silly to a famous historical person as opposed to telling a compelling story (see The Unicorn And The Wasp and Victory of The Daleks), and I’m not a big fan of Richard Curtis. I do like Blackadder for the most part, but his other stuff I just don’t care for. (I don’t even like The Vicar of Dibley very much, which is positively sacrilegious I know). If you’re into either, fair enough. They’re just not to my taste. But the thing to bear in mind is my hatred for Vincent And The Doctor goes beyond personal taste issues. Not only do I think this episode is monumentally crap, I also found it to be extremely insulting, and I’ll explain why in a bit.

In the previous episode Rory was erased from existence, which means Amy can no longer remember him, although she still feels occasionally sad without knowing why. To cheer Amy up, the Doctor takes her to an art gallery to look at Vincent Van Gogh’s painting. This surprised me ever so slightly. I honestly didn’t think Amy would be the type to be into all this artsy fartsy stuff, but that’s only because we’re 10 episodes in and I still don’t actually know anything about her. Think about it. What have we actually learned about her? How has she grown since the first episode? First person to come up with a satisfactory answer wins a fiver. 

It’s almost as if she’s suddenly obsessed with Vincent Van Gogh not because that’s part of her character but because the plot requires her to be. Also, since Rory was erased by the light shining out of Moffat’s crack (teehee), Amy seems to have been reduced to a wide-eyed, innocent little bunny rabbit in this episode. I can’t help but feel sorry for Karen Gillan. She’s a good actor, but Moffat rarely gives her any good material to work with.

Anyway the Doctor spots some weird creature in one of the paintings and decides to travel back to 1890 to meet Vincent Van Gogh, played by Tony Curran who admittedly does a marvellous job with the material he’s been given, although the less said about his awful pantomime-esque performance when he’s required to fight the invisible monster, the better. Here’s the problem with celebrity historicals, and I mentioned this in my review of The Unicorn And The Wasp. Usually these episodes are only entertaining to those who are interested in the historical celebrity. To everyone else, it’s just monumentally dull. I’ve never been that interested in Agatha Christie, so having to listen to the Doctor constantly talk about what a great writer she is made me feel a little bit nauseous. I’ve seen Van Gogh’s paintings. They’re okay. I’m not that much of an art lover, so I can’t really comment further, but to listen to the Doctor and Amy talking, you’d think Van Gogh was the reincarnation of Christ. It all feels utterly self indulgent. Like with Agatha Christie and Winston Churchill in their respective episodes, there’s no effort to actually explore what his life was like or anything. Instead we’re given this romanticised version of him that Richard Curtis can spend 45 minutes pouring his admiration over. It’s fine if you like Van Gogh, but spare a thought for the uncultured swines like myself who have to suffer through this too.

‘Oh look! There’s all his famous paintings! And they’re still wet! Oh no! Don’t put the coffee pot down on them! You’ll leave a stain! How can you not see how utterly perfect and amazing you are Van Gogh?! OMG! Look at his bedroom! Just like the painting! (Even though the bedroom wasn’t actually in that town. Also have you noticed that they built the bedroom to look exactly like the painting to the point where the proportions look really weird when the Doctor walks around in it?). Oh did you hear that? He doesn’t like sunflowers! How hilarious! And he fancies Amy! How sweet! Go PondGogh!’ And so on for another 40 excruciating minutes.

For the record, I don’t buy Van Gogh and Amy’s feelings for each other even for a second considering that they’ve only known each other for a day. Plus the whole thing feels less romantic when you remember that Van Gogh most probably had syphilis at the time.

But wait. This is Doctor Who, isn’t it? Better shove a monster in for no reason. What do we have this week? The Krafayis. An invisible monster that only Van Gogh can see and resembles a giant, mutant CGI turkey. Not exactly one of Doctor Who’s best monsters, now is it? So how’s the Doctor planning to see it? With some tech of course. But not something sensible like a pair of goggles or something. No. Instead he uses this awkward looking harness thing with a rear view mirror attached so that the only chance you can see the Krafayis is if it’s standing right behind you. What a stupid idea!

But as I said, this is all a taste issue. If you like it, good for you. I’m glad someone does. Where I absolutely draw the line however is when Richard Curtis starts giving us his patronising views on the blind and the mentally ill.

Yes the big twist is that the Krafayis is blind, and in one fell swoop it goes from being a savage creature of hate to being a cuddly little bundle of joy in its condescending death scene. They also perpetuate the age old myth that blind people have excellent hearing (which is not true by the way. it’s a lie created by the sighted to make themselves feel better). Oh and the reason why only Van Gogh can see him? Because he’s mentally ill and therefore can see things other people can’t. 

How anyone can find this episode to be anything other than insufferable I don’t know.

There’s been a lot of debate as to what kind of mental illness Van Gogh may have had, but Curtis decides to go for bipolar with a touch of synesthesia. This is very dark and sensitive territory for Doctor Who, but with careful handling it could potentially be emotionally rewarding, spreading awareness to important issues surrounding mental health. This is not the case here. Curtis’ portrayal of mentally ill people consists of nothing but patronising and insulting cliches. He’s bipolar, which means he’s fine now even though he was sad a few minutes ago. Being mentally ill makes you a genius. Being manic makes you a loveable eccentric. Having mental health problems allows you to see the wonders of the world in a way ‘normal’ people can only dream of.

For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from manic depression. Do you see now why I might have a bit of a problem with this? Yes there’s a correlation between those with mental health problems and those who enter creative fields like art and writing, often because art and writing are an excellent way to express ourselves and to make sense of the world around us. I myself am a writer and have had a lot of time to refine my craft. Spending nearly three years stuck at home whilst recovering from alcohol addiction gives you a lot of free time to do such things. But I absolutely resent the idea that artists, writers and other creative people are good at what they do because of their mental illnesses, as though it’s some special gift bestowed upon us by the Art Gods. People who think that are either ignorant, pretentious or stupid, and I would be more than happy to give those pricks my mental illness so they can see what it’s fucking like to be me. I can assure you it isn’t pleasant.

But wait! It gets worse!

It’s tragic that Van Gogh never knew just how successful he would become, right? if only we could tell him or show him how famous and well regarded he would be. That in my opinion is all the more reason not to do it here, but Curtis just can’t help himself at this point. The Doctor and Amy take Van Gogh to the art gallery in the future, they all stand on this turntable thing as Van Gogh cries while Bill Nighy talks about how not only is Van Gogh the greatest artist who ever lived, but is also the greatest, most awesomest person ever born in the entire universe, all while some awful pop ballad plays in the background to drown us in slush.

Good God, this is fucking awful! Who the hell thought this would be a good idea?! Talk about over-egging the pudding.

And then, big shock, Van Gogh kills himself. Amy is surprised because she thought showing him the future might inspire him to keep working. Me? I’m not in the least bit surprised. He gets taken into a blue box that’s bigger on the inside than the outside and travels to the future where he sees all the success and fame he will never get to experience in his lifetime. That’s more likely to cause his suicide than prevent it, if you think about it. And I HATE the Doctor’s speech about how life is split into good things and bad things. What is he, a fucking primary school teacher now? Depression is a little bit more complicated than that. But then again this is written by the same fucking moron who believes being mentally ill makes you a badass painter, so I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked.

Richard Curtis clearly thinks he’s written a sensitive and sympathetic tribute to a renowned artist who tragically took his own life due to mental health problems. I think Curtis royally fucked up with a paper-thin story that’s both patronising and insulting. And remember I have mental health problems, so according to Richard Curtis, I’m a genius. So basically if you disagree with me... you’re wrong :)

[venus-plus-v1]

JOBS! Seems like the entire current political zeitgeist is centered around this seemingly basic, yet perpetually unsolvable issue. And, to be fair, employment is an issue in the US, with the civilian labor force participation rate at a less-than-stellar 62.9%. There are plenty of reasons for this statistic that we will not be deconstructing in this article, but there is a bright spot in the perpetual darkness: computer programming.

Computer programming is not just the future of the job market - it's the present.

Historically, coding has been regarded as a pretentious, white collar, sexy (er, intellectually speaking) job that rewards the ultra-intelligent who have invested years of their lives in front of IDEs and running code, building programs that will ~change the world~. Truth is, the barriers to start coding are lower than ever, prompting Wired to suggest that coding is the next blue collar frontier.

Considering the median salary for computer programmers is $79,530, pretty much anybody should be down to paint their collar blue.

There are just so many jobs available for programmers, from building and managing websites for companies, to implementing database and cloud solutions, to testing network security, to, well, you get the point. The world is digital, and as intimidating as breaking into skilled computing positions may seem, it really isn't that difficult. American kids may not be getting the introduction to STEM education they need to be truly competitive in the 21st century, but there are more resources than ever before to learn on your own time, and on your own budget.

Here are two options that immediately come to mind:

1. The Complete Learn to Code Bundle

This 10-course bundle covers absolutely everything a coding beginner needs to know. You've got an in-depth introduction to Python, widely considered the best first programming language to learn due to its general-purpose applications and relatively simple, readable syntax. There are tutorials in web design and development using tools like JavaScript, HTML5, CSS3, and Ruby on Rails - which may all sound like bad 80s Kraftwerk imitation bands but are actually incredibly useful, employable skills. You'll even get an introduction to data management with courses on MySQL (the world's leading database management tool) and cloud computing. Yes, you'll learn what the cloud actually is. That alone is worth the price tag.

You can get it for $59, or 94% off. Plus today only, if you enter coupon code LEARN50 at checkout, you can get an extra 50% off of that price. Buy it for just $29.50.

2. The Complete Learn to Code Bonus Bundle

Okay, yeah, so this one's name isn't as exciting, but it does have the word "Bonus" in it so that should perk up your ears. In this instance, "Bonus" means two additional courses (16+ hours of content) covering ReactJS, Flux, and Git. Don't know what any of that means? Well, maybe you should have bought the first bundle... Just kidding! Without getting too technical, ReactJS and Flux are essentially streamlining tools that let you develop single page applications fast and efficiently so you can significantly increase your productivity. Similarly, Git is the most widely used and supported distributed version control system used by software engineering professionals. Think of it as a massive public library where coding ideas are shared, expounded on, and everybody gets to work on their passion projects right in the courtyard. Oh, and yes, everything in bundle No. 1 is also included in this one.

Get it for just $6 more, at $65. Or buy it today for an extra 50% off (code LEARN50) - just $32.50.

Both of these bundles offer lifetime access so you can always go back and shore up any skill that may be getting rusty. There are more and more jobs being created in these fields and they're becoming increasingly important to supporting a functional global economy. Also, let's not forget the implications of being able to build and operate websites. Ever wanted to be your own boss? Learn to code and you've got a lot more opportunity to do that. The time is now.

[charllieeldridge]

31 Best Places To Visit in France: Culture, Cuisine, Wine & Nature

With so many places to visit in France, it’s no wonder that it has remained one of the most touristed countries on the planet – with over 82 million people visiting the land of food, fashion, romance and wine each year.

France is blessed with natural beauty, a rich history, intricate architecture, iconic art, world-class grape-producing vineyards and a deep passion for life.

France has long been a foodie and wine-lovers paradise, but dive deeper beneath the cuisine and viticulture and you’ll find a place with welcoming people, a long-standing sophisticated culture and an intoxicating romantic ambiance that seduces almost every person who touches down in L’hexagone.

In this article, I’m going to list many of the best places to visit in France, but because the country has so much to offer, I’m going to break the places up into 5 categories: History, Wine, Food, Nature & Culture.

Here’s a bucket list of all of the best places to visit in France!

Places To Visit in France For History

With the first written records of the history of France dating back to the Iron Age, and inhabitants that have gone as far back as Gauls, the Aquitani, and the Belgae, it’s no surprise that France is a place where people flock to witness living history.

Walking around a medieval village in France can feel a bit like you just stepped out of a time machine and despite the nation’s growing population and exploding number of visitors, there are still pockets of France that move at a contiguously slow pace.

Here are some of the best places to visit in France for history-buffs:

1. Saint Malo, Brittany

This city is actually part of the English Channel and it is one of the most conspicuously picturesque historical places to visit in France.

There is plenty of well-preserved architecture to see here, including Fort National and the Malo Cathedral, but there is also a rich history of pirates and seafarers that once ran this town.

In the middle ages, this was an important port and today it sees more and more tourists every year who come for fresh seafood, historical ambiance and delicious local cuisine.

To get to Brittany, your best bet is to check out Brittany Ferries who offer convenient cross Channel ferries to France, with the widest choice of ferry crossings available anywhere.

If you’re in the UK, you can depart from Portsmouth, Plymouth or Poole and travel to Cherbourg, St Malo, Caen, Le Havre or Roscoff for a direct Channel crossing to France.

Best Tours in Brittany (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Brittany

2. Le Mont St Michel

Built on an 83-meter high granite cliff that juts out of the bay of Normandy, the island town of Le Mont St Michel is truly a sight to behold.

An important pilgrimage site for over a millennium, it’s no surprise that this is one of the best historical places to visit in France, featuring the Benedictine Abbey with the statue of the arc angle (said to have visited the country in the 8th century) placed triumphantly at its precipice.

Le Mont St Michel, simply put, has a particular magic to it.

Make sure you climb the cobbled steps to the top of the abbey where you can enjoy the expansive views over the sea and the surrounding countryside, as well as the ancient medieval town that sprawls out on the landscape below.

3. Espelette

Famous for its castle and many traditional houses, the views of Espelette are extraordinary. Also known for the spicy pepper of the same name, Espelette has wowed visitors for centuries, both with its spice and its sights.

Try to time your visit for fall, when the leaves change and the town comes alive with autumn colours. Particularly if you can make it here for the last week of October, you’ll be able to experience the pepper festival!

4. Yvoire, Rhône-Alpes

This is without a doubt one of the most beautiful places to visit in France.

Stretching over the vast shores of Lake Geneva, this 14th-century medieval town boasts a lovely garden, countless flowers and fruits, a vast maze of cobblestone streets, fascinating historical architecture and a “back-in-time” atmosphere.

History buffs shouldn’t miss Visite d’Yvoire, the Garden of 5 Senses, Helionaute and La Chataigniere. But everyone who visits Yvoire should simply get lost in the labyrinth of back streets, stopping only to pop in for a quick pastry or a delicious espresso.

Best Tours in Yvoire (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Yvoire

5. Bayeux

For history and historical tapestry, visitors will be wowed by the Bayeux Museum, which gives you an up-close and personal look into art history in France.

One particular piece in the museum is nearly the length of a football field and has some of the most intricately embroidered and well-preserved tapestry you’ll ever see.

Outside of the museum, the tiny little town of Bayeux is notorious for producing delicious French pastries and it also boasts a gorgeous cathedral and a lovely old quarter.

To try some of Normandy’s famous local brandy and a traditional Normand meal, head to L’Assiette Normande restaurant, which is located just up the road from the Cathedral.

6. Colmar, Alsace

If you’re looking for history and romance all wrapped up in a small package that looks a bit like Venice, don’t miss Petite Venise in Colmar, or the charming streets in the inner city.

Its proximity to the German border gives Colmar a unique position in history as it has been handed back and forth between the French and the Germans for nearly 1000 years.

This historical hot potato game has left Colmar with a unique blend of German and French influences that can be seen within almost every aspect of the city, including the architecture, food, traditions and language.

Here you can indulge in beer, schnitzels and pretzels one day, and take a wonderful food and wine tasting tour the next.

7. Sainte-Mère-Église

Another of the historical places to visit in France, Sainte-Mère-Église was the first town to be liberated by the Allied Forces on D-Day.

You can visit Sainte-Mère-Église throughout the year, but many like to come on the anniversary of D-day when you can celebrate its anniversary with the locals. You’ll find food in the streets and enjoy the festive atmosphere.

8. Avignon

With over 4 million tourists visiting the city every year, Avignon is without a doubt one of the most popular historical places to visit in France, particularly when compared to other places in the south-eastern part of the country.

Pretty much anyone who heads this way has to stop in Avignon. This UNESCO world heritage site was first founded in the early 6th century BC and features the unmistakable Palace of the Popes, as well as many other historical sites.

Now best known for hosting the largest annual arts festival in France, Avignon also boasts a medieval bridge, leafy plazas and open squares, world-class restaurants and an endlessly charming old town.

A great way to see the ramparts of the historical quarter is by hopping on a boat tour down the Rhône river.

Best Tours in Avignon (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Avignon

9. Gordes, Provence

Because Gordes also hosts an amazing wine festival at the beginning of August and an almond festival in Spring, I could have easily placed the city under the “best places to visit in France for wine” or the “best places to visit in France for food” instead, but there’s just too much history and medieval architecture here to move it out of the historical category.

Arguably the most picturesque hilltop village in the country, the terracotta-roof homes and ancient church towers of Gordes huddle close together, precariously teetering on the edge of a sheer rock cliff above the Vaucluse Plateau.

The spectacular view of the village from afar looks like something straight out of Game of Thrones.

Don’t just get lost inside of the town itself, be sure to head out on the plateau for sunset to see Gordes truly alight with a golden hue as the sun dips into the horizon.

Be warned though, during summer months this tiny village is bursting at the seams as visitor numbers rise along with the temperatures and accommodation prices.

Places To Visit in France For Food

French is one of the best cuisines in the world and it seems to always conjure up images of fine dining, fine wine and borderline pretentious portion sizes, but dig deeper into this land of culinary fusion and you’ll find that the soul of French cooking is found in the ingredients themselves and the techniques used to prepare the dishes.

The flavours are sophisticated, but not overly complex and often focus on creating a harmonious dish that elevates a single featured ingredient.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that every French restaurant is high-end dining either. You’ll still find some cheap little gems (even in Paris) and definitely don’t miss the informal bouchons of Lyon or the budget bistros of Bordeaux.

Here are the best places to visit in France for foodies:

10. Grenoble

Tucked beneath the towering Alps in southeastern France, Grenoble has boldly taken on the flavours and ingredients of its Swiss and Italian neighbours, with wonderful Swiss-Alpine and Italian influence found in many of the dishes here.

Grenoble has been blessed by a position at an intersection of cuisine and this has attributed to its gourmet excellence, which has slowly been perfected over the centuries.

A place fringed by walnut orchards which produce more than half of France’s total annual harvest, it’s no surprise that the plentiful nut is found in so many of Grenoble’s tasty pastries and decadent desserts.

For the best restaurants, don’t miss the city center where you’ll find countless patisseries and fine dining restaurants like the wonderful La Madelon. But don’t worry, not everything is at the top-end of the spectrum here.

If you’re visiting on a budget, there are a few cheaper hotels in the city and the large student population definitely helps bring down the food costs, creating a market for more budget-friendly eating options like Barbecue Damas and Green Mango ice cream shop.

11. Lille

Located in the far north of France, it’s no wonder why there’s so much Flemish influence in the cuisine here, with beer and hops frequently appearing on the ingredients list for many dishes in town.

There are also wonderful chocolate shops spattered throughout the village. Basically, if you’re coming to France for food, you’ll want to come to Lille and truly treat your palate to some of France’s most unique and flavourful cuisine.

If you’re into meaty meals like beer stewed beef, meat and veggie terrines and fantastic fresh seafood plates, then Lille may just be your culinary paradise.

Foodies should definitely stop in at A L’Huîtrière if they’re looking for seafood, but also the aptly named former butcher’s shop of Le Barbier Lillois makes for a great dining out experience.

Best Tours in Lille (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Lille

12. Dijon

When a town is literally known more for the food it creates than for being an actual place, you know it’s going to be one of the best places to visit in France for food-lovers.

As the capital of wine-crazed Burgandy, Dijon has constantly been listed amongst France’s top culinary destinations and of course, you can enjoy mustard alongside wine all day long here.

If you’re in Dijon for the food, don’t miss the garlic butter snails, andouillette (sausage made with pig intestines), and the world-famous dishes of coq au vin and boeuf bourguignon (both are tasty red wine-based stews).

For a gourmet night out, don’t miss Le Bistrot de Halles and Le Pré aux Clercs.

Best Tours in Dijon (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Dijon

13. Paris

I was actually having a really hard time trying to figure out where to put Paris on this list. The city has great wine, rich culture and of course, a lot of history… but Paris really is a foodie paradise, boasting a smörgåsbord of pâtisseries, fine dining restaurants, street food and brasseries.

The growing number of tourists has really started to tarnish the city’s culinary reputation with some restaurants abandoning their French traditions in an attempt to please foreign visitors.

This is why it’s so important to find your way off the beaten culinary path and into some of Paris’s forgotten foodie back streets.

If you’re looking for an authentic eating experience in this touristy capital, check out La Maison des Frigos, Le Foyer de la Madeleine, Chez Louisette and Saint Germain’s best-kept secret – L’Etage de Pastavino.

There are endless fun things to see and do in Paris. Many people even choose to spend just a weekend in the city enjoying the open-air museum, fabulous food and wonderful sites. Click here to learn how to spend the perfect 2 days in Paris. 

Best Places To Stay in Paris:

The best value available in Paris is with Airbnbs. Find apartments that have local owners who can show you around to the local spots and introduce you to Paris through a native’s perspective. There are literally thousands of Airbnbs in Paris, so to choose the best ones, Click Here and read all about the best Paris Airbnbs for all budgets.

Best Tours in Paris (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see 700+ more tours in Paris.

14. Lyon

Be ready for bouchons in Lyon. These are tiny, lively and delightfully low-key restaurants found throughout the city. Their popularity exploded in the early 1930s when an economic downturn caused wealthy home-owners to fire their well-trained local chefs, who then retaliated by opening up their own restaurants to serve the less affluent in the city.

These tiny little restaurants have flourished through numerous ensuing economic crisis’ and are now one of the main reasons that people visit the captivating village of Lyon.

Similar to Grenoble, Lyon has been at a culinary crossroads, but the difference here is that the varied influences are more domestic. Today, the cuisine draws its inspiration from Beaujolais, Provence, Burgundy, and the Alps which all culminate into a savory mix of flavours that have given Lyon a culinary identity all its own.

Don’t miss the wonderful bouchons like Chez Georges and Cafe Comptoir Abel where you can try some of the city’s most famous dishes, including quenelles de brochet (skinny dumplings floating in a savory crayfish sauce).

Best Tours in Lyon (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see 30+ more tours in Lyon

Places To Visit in France For Wine

Currently the second-largest wine-producing nation on Earth (next to Italy), France is clearly one of the best countries in the world for wine-lovers to visit.

You really can’t go wrong when the very names of French cities conjure up images of lush reds and bright whites before you are reminded that these are actually cities and not just grape varieties.

From the hills of Bordeaux to the vineyards of Champagne, these are the best places to visit in France for wine:

15. Bordeaux

The very name rolls of the tongue in such a way that you can’t help but to think of wine. Bordeaux is found in the middle of the Gironde region which is where some of the country’s best vineyards are found.

The city itself boasts France’s longest shopping avenue, but that’s not why you’re coming to Bordeaux is it?!

You’re here for du vin and right on the city’s doorstep are some of the most famous wine-makers in the world – including Bordeaux Superieur, Entre-Deux-Mers, Medoc and Saint-Emilion.

For some lesser-known vineyards, check out d’Arsac, Beau-Site, Bellevue de Tayac and Bonnet.

I highly recommend taking a wine tour in Bordeaux so you can learn more about the history of viticulture in the area and explore the many cellars that dot the countryside before arriving safely back at your hotel with the help of a designated driver.

Top-Rated Tours in Bordeaux (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Bordeaux

16. Burgundy

You’ll likely leave this place with your teeth turning the color of burgundy (the word describing the color itself is named after the deep red wines found in the region). There are just too many different wines to taste here and it’s one of the best places to enjoy a wine tour in France.

Bourgogne, as it’s said in French, is located between Auxerre and Sens in Southeastern Paris and was actually owned by the English after the Hundred Years War all the way up until 1477 when it rejoined with France.

Today it boasts a lot of important historical sites, but again… that’s probably not the main reason you’re going to visit Burgundy.

Wine enthusiasts and sommeliers have flocked to Burgundy for centuries to sample some of the world-renowned wines and tour the beautiful vineyards. Without a doubt, if you’re into wine, this is one of the best places to visit in France.

Top-Rated Tours in Burgandy:

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Burgundy

17. Champagne

Home to the endemically titled grape variety of the same name, Champagne is arguably one of France’s best places to visit for wine.

The sparkling white that made the town famous is a true French delicacy and its consumption is to be taken very seriously. Savoring the tingle on the tongue and standing in reverence of the original wine-makers is almost mandatory here.

Prepare to bring your wallet along if you plan to do tastings and buy bottles in Champagne. It’s no surprise that while the cost of a bottle here is slightly less than you may find at home, it’s still a very expensive beverage.

Top-Rated Tours in Champagne:

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Champagne

18. Bergerac & Duras

Benefiting from a warm and temperate climate, the wines of Bergerac and Duras are actually a very important part of the cultural and culinary history of the Périgord Agenais region.

The vines here produce excellent reds, whites and rosés and all are best enjoyed on a wine tour with one of the many operators in the area. A guided visit to the cellars and farm-to-table restaurants in these vineyards is a must and when you’re done sipping sumptuous vintages, you can explore some of the nearby medieval villages.

19. Provence

Blessed with Michelin starred restaurants, olive groves, cyprus forests, fruit trees and lush gardens, Provence has long been famous for its herbs and wine the world over. 

This sun-kissed paradise in Southeastern France is as indulgent as it gets. I’ve already listed Avignon in this post (which is within the Provence region), but other places like Aix-en-Prevence, Cassis and Bandol also add to the allure of the area.

For wine, it’s best to come in April to September when all of the wineries are open for tasting. Head to Clos Sainte Magdeleine where you can try two wines for 12 euros, or try one of the older vineyards like Mas de Cadenet which has been producing wines since 1813.

If you’re looking to take some bottles home with you, The Maison des Vins de Côtes de Provence in Les Arcs-sur-Agens has over 800 different wines to choose from and the staff there can help you pick the perfect bottle souvenir.

Top-Rated Tours in Provence (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Provence

Places To Visit in France For Nature

Despite often being overshadowed by its more famous traits such as wine, cuisine and historic villages, France is still an excellent place to visit if you want to experience nature.

From the towering powder-white peaks of the Alps, to the depths of its deepest gorges, through its hilly interior and along its jagged coastline, France is blessed with a natural beauty that, while sometimes ignored, is hard to forget once you’ve seen it.

These are the best places to visit in France if you’re interested in nature.

20. Mont Blanc

A kind of Bermuda Triangle located at the border between Italy and France, Mont Blanc is the tallest mountain found in Western Europe and has been host to numerous tragedies including skiing fatalities, tunnel fires, plane crashes and avalanches, making it one of the deadliest peaks in the world.

If you’re a mountaineer though, this 4,810 meter high peak will probably call to you. For the less adventurous, you can view the snowy behemoth from Chamonix, where most visitors base themselves to do day trips to its foothills.

21. Chamonix

Sitting at the foothills of the great Mont Blanc, Chamonix is a skiers’ paradise in the winter and a hikers’ heaven in the summer months. With a long history of winter athletics, the city was rebuilt for tourism when it hosted the first-ever Winter Olympics in 1924. Since then it has grown in popularity and boasts some of the best powdery slopes found anywhere in Europe.

If you tire of the mogul-clad mountain slopes, head back to town and pop into one of the many Michelin starred restaurants that line the main road. In the winter, Chamonix comes alive with the fever of winter sports and everyone is talking about their latest run over a delicious glass of wine or a warm cup of coffee.

Top-Rated Tour in Chamonix:

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Chamonix

22. Aiguille du Dru

Actually situated within the Mont Blanc mountain range, this comparatively small peak (at 3,750 meters high) is still an impressive sight to behold. With its steel grey granite rock face and jagged peaks, this mountain has been a formidable challenge for mountaineers since its first summit in 1878.

23. Étretat Cliffs

Found amongst farming villages in the northwestern region of Normandy, these picturesque cliffs have inspired painters, artists and writers for centuries.

The natural arches and jagged “needles” jut out of the Atlantic Ocean and offer visitors a striking visual, as well as a good opportunity to suntan and swim in the nearby pebble beaches.

24. Gorges du Verdon

This 700-meter-deep river canyon is spectacularly placed in the shadows of the French Alps and stretches for 25 kilometers in length through the Alpse-de-Haute-Provence range.

This is arguably the most beautiful gorge in Europe and thanks to the breathtaking turquoise-colored water and the dramatic topography, it’s a wonderful place for swimming, rafting, fly fishing, rock climbing and paragliding.

25. Scandola Nature Reserve

This is definitely one of the best places to visit in France if you want to enjoy nature and outdoors. Scandola Nature Reserve is found on the jagged, red stone French island of Corsica. Taking a boat from the coast, you can explore countless coves, grottos and caves which are as pristine as you’ll find anywhere on the continent.

If you tire of visiting the dramatic cliffs along the coast, consider popping into one of the lovely coastal towns near Scandola, which provide a vivid glimpse into day-to-day life on the island as well as some delicious food.

Top-Rated Tour in Scandola:

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Scandola

26. Pic du Midi d’Ossau

Lost for millenia inside of the great French Pyrenees Mountain Range, Pic du Midi d’Ossau reflects its beauty on the mirror-like waters at its base. The best views of the jagged peak are likely seen from Boulevard des Pyrénées which lies 55km north of this unmistakable natural wonder.

27. The Camargue Salt Flats

These pink-colored salt lagoons are found within The Camargue, an area best known for being the largest river delta in Western Europe.

The flats and lagoons get their fuchsia color from a salt-eating organism known as Dunaliella salina, which emits a red pigment while absorbing energy from the sun.

Strangely enough, it also turns the birds pink! This is a great place to spot pink flamingos as well as (white) Camargue horses. All-in-all, the Camargue Salt Flats are a fascinating place to visit in France.

Learn more about the unusual side of France including myths, stereotypes, unique art, and untold secrets in this blog about offbeat France.

Best Places To Visit in France For Culture

In some places, it just seems easier to mingle with locals, to indulge in culture and to understand French traditions and their way of life.

Here are some of the best places to visit in France if you’re interested in learning about and experiencing the culture:

28. Nice

Get lost in Vieille Ville, with its rustic, medieval atmosphere and iconic historic buildings all lining a delicate network of narrow back roads and tiny alleyways. Here you can enjoy delicious food and meet local people going about their day-to-day life. It’s easy to become instantly immersed in the culture of Nice.

For a little bit of art history and an understanding of its effect on local culture, check out the Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art. This striking marble building is a great example of Neoclassical architecture and was first inaugurated in June of 1990. Inside you’ll find a collection of ten galleries all spread over 370,000 square meters.

Top-Rated Tours in Nice (click to view tours):

☞ Click Here to see more tours in Nice

29. Versailles

Versailles a small city on the on western edge of Paris. It has actually now been swallowed by the enormous sprawling metropolis within the Ile de France region.

Only really visited for the enormous royal palace complex and gardens which were built by King Louis XIV, this former hunting lodge is known as The Palace of Versailles or The Château de Versailles (best seen with the amazingly rated tour below) and was the location that the Peace Treaty was signed between Germany and the Allied Forces which effectively ended WWI.

Although the palace is undoubtably Versailles’ most notable historical site, this is a great place to experience French culture and cuisine.

Be sure to also check out the Cathédrale Saint-Louis (located in Quartier Saint-Louis neighbourhood), Église Notre-Dame, rue de la Paroisse and Hôtel de la Préfecture, which features a brilliant façade opposite town hall and make sure you reserve a table at La Magnette or La Table du 11.

Top-Rated Tour (by far) in Versailles:

30. Eguisheim

This area could have easily appeared under the “Best places to visit in France for wine” category, because after conquering this village, the Romans cultivated some of the nation’s best wines at its doorstep. Eguisheim is famed for producing delicious Alsace wines, but the viticulture isn’t the only culture you can enjoy here.

Stroll between the timber-framed buildings of this quaint little town and you’ll quickly see why it was voted France’s favourite village in 2013.

The locals here are extremely friendly and recent archaeological finds suggest that there have been inhabitants here since the Palaeolithic Ages.

With a human history dating back over 2 million years, it’s no wonder this is such a great place to experience culture, although today it’s of the French kind, with plenty of great restaurants, cool leafy plazas for people watching and of course, the delicious wine and pastries.

31. Conques

The complete lack of modern restoration in Conques has left this tiny village as one of the most untouched examples of Romanesque architecture in the world.

Nestled tightly amongst the towering green mountains of the Midi-Pyrénées, the village itself has countless narrow alleyways and a maze of historic streets all enmeshed inside a quaint UNESCO World Heritage site.

Inside you’ll find Abbey-Church of Saint-Foy, which itself is a UNESCO listed site and plenty of cute cafes, busaries and patisseries to keep your taste buds tingling.

Spend some time in a cafe and you’ll see the comings and goings of locals who have been going about the same business for years. The day-to-day life in Conques seems to have remained as unchanged and intact as the architecture that the town is famous for.

32. BONUS! Paris

Okay so Paris just had to make it on this list twice. Despite being overrun with tourists (over 15 million foreigners flock to the romantic capital each year), Paris really is a haven for culture. You can’t miss the Louvre, Musee d’Orsay, Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris or Basilica du Sacre-Coeur de Montmartre.

Give Paris a little bit more time than you had planned, because even though you have to dodge your way through the crowds, the city tends to over-deliver.

So Many Places To Visit in France, So Little Time…

While this list of places to visit in France is relatively long and detailed, it’s by no means exhaustive. There are hundreds of hidden villages, lost valleys and vast vineyards that are waiting to be discovered in this romantic nation.

Even though the country isn’t huge at 643,800 km², you could travel here for a lifetime and still have much to see.

There are so many things to do in France! Take your time here, slow your pace and enjoy the things that make it so wonderful. The French have a lust for life and if you can try to fall into that rhythm, you’ll have a better time here.

What is your favourite place to visit in France? Did we miss it? Share with us in the comments below!

Like This Article? Pin it!

  The post 31 Best Places To Visit in France: Culture, Cuisine, Wine & Nature appeared first on Goats On The Road.

31 Best Places To Visit in France: Culture, Cuisine, Wine & Nature published first on https://travelaspire.weebly.com/

[behindthescenesgraphicnovel]

One Year To Go...

Tales From When I Had A Face is an existential fairy tale, told for those of us that may have grown up, but still remember the uncertainty of a world steeped in the occult logic of dreams.

This book is still in production, we hope to be finished by the end of next year. Here are some thoughts about the project, how it was made, why it was made, what I’ve observed along the way.

Right now we’re many years in, at that point where I’m dug in the trenches and I know this world better than the day to day real world, but I don’t know how I’m going to get out the other side yet. I know it’s the most challenging book I’ve taken on, but it varies day by day how I think it’s actually going. Writing is always a bit of a bipolar ride.

This book accumulated in criptime. It’s like fingernails or snail shells, grown a bit at a time, one layer atop the next.

Here’s one layer:

The day there are no more humans on this earth, and no one left to remember and thereby recreate us, every painting or statue or book will be entirely identical with every other object in the world. It’s all just configurations of stuff, without our minds to breathe a different sort of life into a book or an album. Though there have been gaps, omissions, deletions, and the constant rewrites of the present, there’s been an ongoing narrative accumulated that we all can contribute some small part to. History. And of course those curated artifacts are a small part, too. Most of it is forgotten from explicit knowledge but is retained in more invisible ways.

That’s the sense of cosmic loss I wanted to drill into, and a Gnostic concept of history that should be made clear, at least implicitly, as the book unfolds. I spent about 5 years falling asleep to audiobooks and podcasts about being in the trenches at Verdun, or the killing fields, reading a lot of fiction and nonfiction — to Blood Meridianand The Sailor Who Fell From Grace From The Sea. Of course, a lot more, but they are the books that keep coming up. Ronald Hutton’s Shamans was particularly instructive, as was Bowie’s Blackstar.

I don’t try to emulate, ever, but I don’t understand authors who don’t want the “taint” of influence getting on their work. We are nothing at all except a reaction to a collection of influences. We curate and edit and restate and embellish, sure. This is how communal storytelling works, and I wanted to bring a little bit of that back to this story. The fairytale elements are told, grandmother to granddaughter.

I was never looking for one mythic story to reinterpret, and it’s not about the historic beliefs of Sakha or Yakut shamans. I was searching more for a Campbell style “essence” of human experience.

I don’t think that’s actually the way to go for nonfiction analysis of myth, there are issues with that approach, but for a dark fantasy like Tales, I felt I had enough license the get a general survey and then mythologize on that. Writing is part creative visualization, part language, part sense of meter, and stamina.

I chased that trail as far as I could, at a very dark period in my own life. When I was diagnosed with a variety of chronic health conditions, this project became what I could keep returning to, to try to create the sense that I was constructing some sort of meaning. For a time, I couldn’t feel it anywhere else. But I didn’t at all want this book to be about “my journey”, and it isn’t. It’s about the broader existential issues and dilemmas that experience brought out of my subconscious. A writer can’t really tell you what that all means though. Though damnit we’ll try anyway.

Tales From When I Had A Face is about this sense of perpetual loss of self and community, and the repression and dissociation of trauma, and how that catalyzes the nightmares we’ve recorded in history books.

About people who have lost their home and their people. It’s about erasure and finding meaning when we recognize that there’s no escape without a memory that invents a story of our life, and so who tends that story, and what must we think of a society that does not value it?

On the one hand I explored this idea analytically, in an anthology been working on simultaneously, Masks: Bowie and Artists of Artifice. On the other was Tales From When I Had A Face, where the process was purely creative, even shamanic. I’m sure it’ll sound pretentious, but it’s still true: this book is very much a ritual. The process of creating it has been, and hopefully the process of reading it will be as well.

I realize the absurdity of “but think about the death of meaning and the empty museums!” is a weird thing to get worked up about if we’re talking our death, or the collapse of a civilization. And even more so if constructing a myth about it could serve as medicine for me, or that I could muster the production skill from past decades of work to make such a project interesting to read. Even enjoyable, for the right reader.

I think here of Deleuze writing his final Immanence A Life, or Bowie’s swan song. Since none of us are around for long, not really, then who are we writing for? Who is “posterity”? Maybe this one is written for death. It will make of it what it may. If the book cover could be composed of bone entirely, it would be.

Deleuze was dying when it was written, and that’s what seemed to motivate that piece, its secret engine. About life, compelled to honesty by imminent death — on immanence, the totality of being.

So we see life always bleeds into fiction.

I wrote most of the first draft of Tales on a phone when I was homeless, couch surfing, dependent on the pain meds that kept chronic pain at bay. Among a long list of things, I had just lost my best friend, who I had written the previous Fallen Cycle books with. At least, he was someone I could always get to help me talk out the problems. And I did the same for him.

But I wasn’t at all trying to write about myself or my life. It’s only looking back on it now, especially the Alterran stuff, that I see, it’s all about people who have lost their home and their people. It’s about searching for meaning when we recognize that there’s no escape without a memory that invents a story of our life. And ultimately realizing that meaning is not sought but instead constructed.

We always give ourselves away, but it’s best to not try.

In terms of how the characters germinated, I’ll give an example:

At some early point in the planning process, I wondered, what if there was an entity who collected and maintained the knowledge of the dead? And around that built what became the Feyn, spirits who have learned to walk in the world of the living, and yet speak to the dead. They are the race who teach the first witch-doctors or Oyun. Eluane the “Raven-wanderer” especially, who becomes the last of his Chatillian kind, takes on this responsibility of retaining forgotten memory, before it is wiped clean by the souls passage before reincarnation.

Another option is presented: spirits that serve as the story itself, the Fallen, after whom the Fallen Cycle is named.

The Second World, and the underlying cosmology that creates the symbolic structure of the book, was developed over twenty years of iterative RPGs. For this story I was very selective about what got used, I try to be minimal in terms of the range of world building philosophy in fantasy, in execution. But in the development I may be a bit excessive in the other direction, though not truly Tolkien levels.

The entire book is composed of what I hope are somewhat unique takes on symbols that will feel unexpected, and yet still evoke that deja vu that is innate to the fairy tale. Those symbols are developed as if they compose a part of an unfamiliar tarot deck. Piles of notebooks hold discarded iterations of symbols systems and cosmologies. I wanted to bring many years of research on those subjects to bear in a way that wasn’t academic or entirely abstract. More surreal and poetic less Immanuel Kant. (Maybe I can never fully escape the ironics of Kierkegaard, however).

The visual art — 72 full color pages, 24 black and white — lends more to that effect, except that tarot imagery often feels so static. I wanted much of this to retain a sense of motion, life, and narrative.

It will likely be observed that this book is mostly about women, especially what Jung might have called the feminine shadow. They are all lunar. One of the five primary characters, the younger Ayta, is a lesbian. Two others are bisexual.

Again, I didn’t plan this in advance, and it isn’t a story about them being gay or female, but though male bodied, I was raised by lesbians. I can’t claim that experience as my own but it’s far from unfamiliar. In fact, queer culture has always felt more like home to me. So, in creating psychological mytheopia, I’m not surprised this was the end result. Still, people will argue about what stories we have a right to tell. I feel confident telling the story I had to tell here, but I don’t see that as being intended to speak for anyone else, or their own experience.

Anyhow, that’s my first brain dump on production. Hopefully it’s been interesting to some of you. And I’m back to editing the MS.

[adamroper]

A Christmas Foot, Chapter 2: Mrs Barber’s Annual Mennonite Christmas Pageant

At best a Christmas pageant is an inspirational, memorable highlight to any great holiday season. At worse it can be a sappy, uninteresting, pitiable series of off key songs and heartless dance numbers. Now I’m not pretentious when it comes to seeing pageants, but I’ve seen enough in my day to know what I like and what I don’t like.

When it comes to seeing my two nieces and nephew performing in a christmas play however they can do no wrong. This year will be their third performance as an acting ensemble, a now annual tradition of mine that gets better with each performance. Their It’s a Wonderful Life was magnificent, Their Christmas Carol brought me to tears, their Charlie Brown Christmas was nothing short of Tony-worthy. This year’s traditional interpretation of the Nativity Story was already receiving buzz among the local church going community, enough so that they were doing two performances, both of which I had reserved front row seats for.

“Oh well sir, we don’t reserve seats for our Christmas plays”, the pastor of the church had informed me when I phoned him in August inquiring about the performance, “we do have a section for attendees who have mobility issues, but it’s really more of a priority seating area”. “Ah ok, well that should be fine,” I replied, picturing in my mind the red wheelchair stored in my parent’s garage, which I'd used after recovering from surgery 3 years ago.

I imagined myself rolling down the aisle past all the crowded pews, right into the VIP section reserved for differently abled folks and recent retirees, enjoying the grand spectacle with the best possible view one could hope for. But then I imagined myself at the pearly gates having to explain to our good lord my reasoning for feigning being immobile for a good seat at a children’s Christmas play, and decided it might be best to take my chances in terms of seating at the event. Nonetheless I would arrive early, very early.

The night of the dress rehearsal had come. In preparation for the event I booked off 3 days from work to travel out to the Fraser Valley where the plays took place. My aunt and uncle had driven in from Calgary, camping out in their converted camping van, which they let borrow to rally the troops- first to my sister's house to pick up my youngest niece, then to my younger of two brothers to pick up my other niece and my nephew.

I pulled into the Church parking lot which looked to be the size of 3 CFL football fields, and proudly lead my acting crew through the gleaming glass doors towards the auditorium.

The kids ran down the center aisle stomping and laughing with excitement, then disappearing behind tall blue and pink banners on the stage into the “green room”, which was just the youth pastor’s office repurposed with mirrors and standing closet hangers.

Ms. Barber rolled her eyes and said “Oh hi Adam, I received the email you sent me with the 3 pages of set notes… thanks for that.” And she should be thankful, I for one was quite proud of my contribution. Just imagine how shabby and unprofessional these plays would be without my astute, well placed insights on the fine art of stage acting. I was from the city after all, I should know, I’ve been to the fringe festival at least 3 times.

One niece and my nephew had the part of Mary and Joseph, obviously. My other neice was playing a shepherd, a role I insisted she be cast for in to create a fair gender-balanced performance including having female cast members take on the position of traditionally masculine roles. “Oh trust me,” Ms. Barber told me earlier, “I grew up in Kitsalano in the 70’s, I know all about balanced gender roles”.

Mr. Barber, bless her heart, did agree to let me help out with the costumes and makeup design as long as I promised not to throw roses onto the stage and shout “bravo”, and so in the weeks leading up to the play I was busy at work helping to dress the ensemble.

When it comes to costume design I prided myself on my keen ability to upcycle even the most irredeemable articles of sad discarded clothing, performing great miracles on a shoestring budget. Their robes were my dad’s old cardigans repurposed as desert travel wear, with head scarfs made of terry cloth towels brought together in color sequence with sashes made from curtains I found discarded in the laundry room of my apartment.

What unfolded was a splendid practice run. The actors remembered their lines, the touching moments were indeed touching, the funny moments were laugh out loud, best of all the costumes looked amazing. The play had a few minor missteps with dialogue which is what is to be expected with a dress rehearsal. Young Sarah Friesen the angel forgetting one of herlines for instance or Ryan Klassen the front half of the camel seeming terribly uncoordinated. The back half of the camel however was without flaw, marching with as handsome a strut I’d ever seen coming from a camel.

“Now, why don’t they give him a better part? I said to my sister, “they really should give him a better part next year”. The back half of the camel was played by young Jimmy Froese who I thought darn near stole the show last year playing the ringing bell at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life.

Finally the night of the performance came. It was snowing lightly just after 5pm, the streets were almost silent and peaceful. We’d gathered at my younger brother’s house for a light sandwich dinner after which we assigned transportation to the church. The stage was set, the seats were filling up, and there was a friendly hum of conversations in the air as the congregation shook hands, sipped coffee and ate shortbread cookies shaped like angels, stars, and christmas trees.

The lights in the foyer blinked once, twice, and the crowd made their way to their seats. The curtains were drawn, and the performance began with an opening overture of strings leading the choir into the emotive and heart touching first lines  “Mary, Did You Know”, complete with choreographed panning lights and a smoke machine.

Overseeing the play in the corner on a single hardwood pew seat was a kid with a long, pointed grey beard, a simple blue head covering and a faded red cloak. My sister leaned over and asked “is that supposed to be Santa, or Gandalf?” I whispered back, “Actually I think that’s Menno Simmons”.

It seemed Ms. Barber was going for more of a historical slant this year, starting with the first Christmas, jumping ahead to Christmas in the 1700s, then landing at Christmas in 1993, finally arriving in the present day as evidenced by the fact that the 3 wise men were being played by an all-female cast. A beaming sign next to the manger that proclaimed “#SmashThePatriarchy” wouldn’t have seemed at all out of place.

Indeed Ms. Barber had outdone herself this year, but not entirely in a good way. The content of the play was very well thought out and artfully presented, it was the length of the play that seemed to be the weak point. By the 63rd straight minute of dialogue and character development the large cast of kids on the stage were starting to get restless.

By minute 74 there was murmuring in the audience as some of the more bored kids started improvising their lines, veering madly away from what seemed to be the script. Noone could really tell the difference at the point. The dialogue would not have seemed out of place in a David Lynch movie, but I don’t think that’s what the play was going for. For the audience of mostly rural conservative Mennonites it was too baffling to the handle.

The other actors had to sway too to keep up with the detractors. Minute by as the proverbial pageant ship was being tossed by the waves your started to fear maybe this story was going to end as a shipwreck.

The further into their new routine the cast continued in the more uncomfortable the feeling in the church became. Improv turned to shouting, acting turned to hooting and hollering, subtle movement turned to running and jumping! The shepherds were stick-fighting with their staffs, the angel had fallen off the back of the stage and Mary was laughing so hard she dropped the baby Jesus.

The audience was shuffling around in their seats and some adults had started standing up and making their way to the back doors. One of the pastors had the genius idea to walk huddled over to the brass band- perhaps if they start playing, he must have thought, it will drown out the chaos. The crowd seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief as the kids quieted down for the final singing portion of the evening, heralding a much anticipated and hoped for end to the cheery holiday travesty.

The choir and audience started equally pitifully, with off key notes and staggered time signatures, mumbling most of the lyrics. But as the voices rose into a glowing chorus of Silent Night, Holy Night, all is calm, all is bright I could sense something was different. There in the midst of the passable melodies a sweet, soulful, mournfully beautiful sounding voice rose up like Rudolph’s nose in a snowstorm.

The audience, the cast, even the live donkey brought in from the Graham Family farm looked around to see where the voice was coming from. For a second I expected to see Roma Downey from touched by an angel walk out glowingly from one corner of the stage and say in her culturally indistinguishable accent “I’m an angel, sent from God to save this trainwreck of a Christmas play”.

Then emerging from the back of the stage through the artificial smoke, there was a boy wearing an odd costume of a furry pair of hooved legs that came up to his shoulders. I looked closely and sure enough, it was Jimmy Froese, the back half of the two-person camel costume! He had loosened himself from the front half of the costume and stood there in the light of the nativity scene like a fawn balancing on his two hooves.  

As purposefully as a sunrise the brass band began to play, first the baritones and tuba, then the trumpets, and finally the trombones. The audience joined in at the second verse, the whole congregation singing with gusto. As the final notes echoed throughout the church Jimmy sang the refrain one last time, lingering on every line with a pure, warbling falsetto, and by the end there wasn’t a single dry eye in the entire audience. The whole auditorium rose in rapturous applause, standing to their feet in a spontaneous ovation cheering loudly for Jimmy Froese, the saviour of the Christmas pageant!

Ms. Barber appeared carrying a microphone, beaming as if she’d planned the whole thing saying “Thank you, oh thank you, my now wasn’t that a charming show, and my what a voice, who would have thought,” patting Jimmy on the head.

Jimmy smiled and his proud parents in the third row wiped away tears of joy. “Hey see,” I said to my sister, “I told you they should have given him a better part, that kid has promise!”

[wakingwriter]

When and why did you begin writing?

I’ve always written, mainly articles, but it wasn’t until 2015 that I decided to write my first novel, The Artist’s Muse. I’ve always admired anyone who has finished a novel, as I have started and abandoned so many over the years and recognize the commitment it takes to see a novel through to completion. I always told myself that I would write a novel one day but the more I talked about it the less likely it seemed that I would ever do it. Life was good and very distracting. I went out a lot, my work as a teacher was fun.

Then it happened – the event that got me to put pen to paper where everything else had failed. I was attacked in the classroom by a violent male pupil who had issues with women in authority. After that, teaching wasn’t the same.

I turned to writing. I wrote compulsively, penning articles to motivate others, writing pieces on art, travel, food. I had a desire to give meaning to my world and writing was the most powerful way to do it.

When did you first consider yourself a writer?

This is a tricky one as there’s something almost mysterious, possibly pretentious, to call oneself a ‘writer’ which belies the hard graft that goes into the writing itself. When I first started to write The Artist’s Muse I would meet up once a week with a friend who also wrote. Yet when other friends asked us what we were doing we would be evasive, self-conscious, wary of criticism and the odd raised eyebrow. It was only when I had finished the novel that I decided it was time for me to tell people about it. I considered myself a writer at that point. I had completed a work of fiction. I’d written 90,000 plus words. I’d researched the paintings I’d mentioned and the historical context, I’d edited and re-edited, removing unnecessary detail, delighting in the sounds of my sentences.  Though to call myself a writer, that took a little bit longer. It was only when articles and reviews presented me as ‘Kerry Postle, author of The Artist’s Muse‘ that it truly sank in. I had written a novel. I was ready to call myself a writer.

Why did you choose to write in your particular field or genre?

My first novel, The Artist’s Muse,  is historical/literary fiction. I’ve always loved art and art history. I’ve studied it, even taught it. I’m interested in gender politics too. And so, when I went to an Egon Schiele exhibition in Vienna back in 2015, my two loves came together. I knew what I had to write about.

I saw rooms full of paintings of the same model, the wonderful Wally Neuzil, but I could find out very little about her life. She was very evidently key to Schiele’s work, and yet, for such an important figure, she was unsettling absent. And to make matters worse, what little I did manage to dig up about her was presented from a very male perspective. I felt compelled to put this right and to tell her story from her point of view, and that’s what I’ve done. I’ve given her a voice where she presents her life with and influence on Schiele through her eyes. In this way we can understand her actions. She challenges us to judge her if we dare as she is aware that she very often swims perilously close to the limits of acceptability. However, to see how society dismisses her, how it turns a blind eye to the exploitative way that she is treated by powerful men, the reader has no option but to condemn the hypocrisy of those who should know better.  The Artist’s Muse celebrates the glittering art of turn-of-the-century Vienna while never ignoring the decay and corruption at its core.

What made you decide to sit down and actually start writing this book?

What made me start writing was the need to celebrate Egon Schiele’s art but also to challenge the right of one person to use another as a possession. I was compelled to breathe life into the artist’s muse and show her to be the inspiration she really was. The work Schiele completed with Wally is his most original. He failed to reach the same artistic heights after he had abandoned her and so The Artist’s Muse is my acknowledgment of the contribution she made to his ‘oeuvre’  and recognition of the sacrifices she had to make. I had to write it.

Tell us more about your main character. What makes him or her unique?

Wally Neuzil is the main character in The Artist’s Muse. She is Schiele’s muse and her commitment to him enables him to achieve the greatness that he does. Her voice is refreshingly unique. We follow her thought processes and although she has few choices we see, as she shares with us what she thinks, that she knows right from wrong. Exploited, in an abusive relationship, we feel her pain and understand why she does what she does. She has a knowingness about her that recognizes the wrong in what she’s made to do, yet she does it anyway because she must. Her voice is distinct and clear and she often challenges the reader directly, asking if he or she would act any differently. Her aim is to make us think, feel uncomfortable about the blind eye we may sometimes turn to the unpalatable truth before us. Yet underpinning it all is the little voice of a young girl who only ever wanted to live a good and happy life, to love and be loved.

Who is your least favorite character and why?

My least favorite character, yet the one who was the most fun to write, is the repulsive Herr Altmann. He is the most repellent character in the novel. Like a slug, he oozes bodily fluids. I’d been looking at Ursula LeGuin’s book on writing called Steering the Craft where she urges you to have fun with your language and that is what I did when I had Wally go into Herr Altmann’s study. She delivers a drawing to him (it’s of her body) and as he unrolls it the sense of menace builds up. A powerful man who abuses his privileged position, I portray him as a vile and ultimately ridiculous fool.

If your book was made into a movie, who would you cast?

Egon Schiele is the enfant terrible of the art world – stylish, handsome, louche. A young David Tennant, therefore, would be perfect but as time waits for no man I’m going to have to give the role to a younger model. Possibly Eddie Redmayne. As for Wally, his red-haired model, I would go for Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones) or Kate Mara, while the cold Emilie Flöge would be best played by Tilda Swinton or Cate Blanchett. Then there’s Klimt – not too sure who I’d like to play him. Nick Frost? The Artist’s Muse would make a wonderful film!

What is your next project?

My next project is a novel set during the Spanish Civil War. It again looks at misogyny, this time when used as a weapon in war. The trigger for the action is a war crime perpetrated by Franco’s Nationalists in a finca near the village of Fuentes de Andalucia. The soldiers, tired after a grueling campaign, kidnap local women. They are forced to cook and dance for the soldiers. Then they are raped, murdered and thrown down a well. The soldiers return to the village, bloodied underwear trailing like flags from the tips of their rifles.

What role does research play in your writing?

Research is key. It helps add authenticity to your work. When researching The Artist’s Muse two texts became central to the novel. The first was Otto Weiniger’s Sex and Character published in 1903 which is a pseudo-scientific attempt at illustrating the differences between men and women. It’s a work of unparalleled misogyny, so full of odious opinions that I found it hard to choose just one quotation to sum it up. However, the one for which I’ve opted should give you a flavor: ‘Woman,’ Weininger writes, ‘is soulless and possesses neither ego nor individuality, personality nor freedom, character nor will.’ The other text is by an Austrian feminist called Adelheid Popp. It’s called The Autobiography of a Working Woman and it shows the hardships poor working class women had to endure at the beginning of the 20th century in Vienna. I used much of the detail presented in this book to fill in the gaps and add authenticity to Wally Neuzil’s early life.

How successful has your quest for reviews been so far?

I’ve got quite a few in the UK but have struggled to get many in the USA, which is a shame, as I believe the US readership would love my story. I haven’t tried very hard to get more but that’s because I don’t know how to. Part of me hopes that the book will speak for itself, but I realize that readers need to know about it before that can happen.

Who is your favorite fictional character and why?

This changes constantly and depends on which book I’ve read recently. At this point in time, my favorite is Tabitha in Francis Spufford’s On Golden Hill. She’s really very intriguing. Nasty? Quite possibly. Prickly? Of course. But there’s something quite desperate about her that makes my heartbreak. Her own worst enemy.

Who are the writers that have influenced your work?

I studied French literature from the 11th through early 20th century as an undergraduate and specialized in 17th-century French drama and Proust’s A la Recherche du Temps Perdu for my Masters. My studies have given me an appreciation of well-written literature irrespective of genre and context. However, when I’m writing I immerse myself in books that do well whatever it is I’m aiming to achieve at that time.  If pushed I would have to say that Proust is my turn-to author when I need general inspiration. He combines great insight with a sharp wit that spares no one, least of all himself – a valuable attribute in a writer. The writing of Richard Flanagan (Gould’s Book of Fish/ The Narrow Road to the Deep North) is also a favorite, but in truth, there are so many great books out there.

  How can you discover more about Kerry Postle?

Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Goodreads |  Amazon Author Page | Amazon UK | Amazon | Website

    Kerry Postle, author of The Artist's Muse @kerry_postle #historicalfiction When and why did you begin writing? I’ve always written, mainly articles, but it wasn’t until 2015 that I decided to write my first novel, The Artist’s Muse.

[gilberthampton]

OC memes from vent

im in class idc 🎆 40 too specific 🎆 fictionkin questions created by @.nyasori 🌙 Your kin of choice: 🔥nia rosewell 🔥 Turned OC meme and im sorry 🌙 1. If you could punch one person from your canon in the face right now, who would it be? JAHHJSJND her older brother 🌙 2. Do you like your hairstyle from your canon or would you rather have a different one? permanently unsatisfied w her hair but never changes it till post cain drama and then she goes full out, gets a magical girl bun cut, dyes her hair pink n loves it. basically an Important Haircut bc she's done being stuck in the past 🌙 3. If you had to prepare a lunchbox for your kintype, what would be in it? Lunchbox - homemade but somehow perfect anyway, everything is in it, packed till it's full, lots of sweets and snacks 🌙 4. If your kintype would be an animal, which one would they be? hummingbird. or wait, a bunny 🌙 5. Your kintype suddenly rules a kingdom. What is the first thing they would do? she's dreamed about being a princess but has no idea how to actually run a kingdom so.. enjoy the good life, proceed to freak out when pressured to make heavy choices 🌙 6. Who's your kintype's best friend? Why? alice n mina n nia r Squad 🌙 7. What's your least favourite ship involving your kintype? Why? the person she hates the most is.. odin 🌙 8. What was the very first memory you've gotten from your canon? 🌙 9. What do people think of the media you're from? Is it popular or obscure? 🌙 10. What was your kintypes relationship with their parents/guardians? she loves them dearly but probably subconsciously pushes all the blame on them bc they didn't do a very good job stopping odin from hitting her when she was younger 🌙 11. What would your kintypes Myers-Briggs personality type be? INFP 🌙 12. Someone insults your kintype badly. How do they react? she criesssssssss and cries and gets all self conscious and her instinct is to go to other people so they can pity her and make her feel better. gets all shy around the person afterwards. if she thinks about it too long she starts crying again 🌙 13. If/When they were in school, how good were they? Would they be a nerdy outsider, a social butterfly or something different? a friendly but fragile classmate. that one girl who always wears frilly dresses. probably cries at least once a day, easily excited but just as easily upset, mediocre with grades. 🌙 14. If your kintype was in a classic RPG, what would their class be? ranger / long distance 🌙 15. What is the most obscure or funny memory you have as them? 🌙 16. You suddenly switch roles with your kintype. How well would they handle your life? she'd miss her friends but she's kind of easy to get along with! so like, normal. probably would not like my parents at all 🌙 17. If someone tried to hit on your kintype, what would they have to say to make their heart melt? just compliment her -- anything 🌙 18. Does your kintype have any strange hidden talent that wasn't mentioned officially? she's double jointed ? 🌙 19. How would your kintype react to someone confessing their love to them? blushy, nervous, flattered, so happy she could cry, 100% ready to kiss even if she doesn't reciprocate. If she likes someone else, though, she'll inevitably turn u down. (Looking for that perfect manga romance) 🌙 20. If you could ask the creator of your canon's media one question, which would it be? get a life? 🌙 21. What is the most obscure ship you've ever seen your kintype in? 🌙 22. What is your kintype's zodiac sign? Does it fit? ill figure out their birthdays sometime, okay 🌙 23. If they had an elemental alignment (fire, air, water, earth), which one would it be? water 🌙 24. Your kintype and their best friend get stranded on a lonely island. What would they do? FREAK OUT and probably be a useless baby bc her friends r too nice to tell her to stop whining 🌙 25. Has your kintype experienced any trauma? If yes, did it affect their personality? in her childhood. odin didn't really understand other people's point of view, and he would grow harsher and harsher with his younger sister bc he couldn't fathom _why_ she would be so upset about things, and he would get furious. oh yeah. has a lot of unresolved anxiety and memory issues, scared to death of her brother, whatever 🌙 26. Do you share any physical traits with your kintype? ugh... Nah? 🌙 27. Who's your kintypes biggest enemy? Why? 🌙 28. Does your kintype do any morally questionable things? How do they justify it? she gets too caught up in things and gets kind of stalkery-ish, guilt trippy and passive aggressive without realizing it. her defense is that she doesn't do it on purpose, which is true, but it doesn't excuse her from it. 🌙 29. If your kintype was at a party, what would they do? start messing around with her friends. or shyly look around for her crush the whole night. if she doesn't know anyone, she's mostly in the bg, but being around people she's comfortable with influences her into a louder state 🌙 30. What is the favourite season of your kintype? spring 🌙 31. What does the name of your kintype mean? Where is it from? "Nia is a feminine given name with multiple origins. It is a Welsh variant of Niamh, an Irishname meaning 'bright.' It is also a Swahili Name meaning 'will.'" Basically i just chose it from a list bc it sounds nice. though it _is_ her nickname? 🌙 32. What did your kintype do if they were sad, exhausted or angry? 🌙 33. If your kintype would have a pokemon type, which one(s) would it be? grass fairy 🌙 34. Were they in a romantic relationship with someone? What did other people think of it? she was crushing hard on cain and (unnamed) for the longest time, but cain fucked her up pretty badly. gets a crush on milo and they start dating after a VERY LONG TIME. their friends find it cute and they're like, took u long enough!!! outsiders find it weird bc they're so different in personality?? 🌙 35. How quick were they able to form bonds? Why? probably really quickly bc she's friendly and chipper and ^____^ 24/7, but i feel like she also gets on people's nerves. so True friendships, eh, casual school friendships, lots 🌙 36. Does the fandom ever misinterpret your kintypes? 🌙 37. Do your canon and the official canon match up? If not, what are the differences? 🌙 38. Did your kintype ever feel guilty about something they did? Why? i think she blabs too much and is too loud and not considerate enough of other people -- which can irritate and hurt them. she definitely feels some regret for that 🌙 39. In what ways do you act like or relate to your kintype? we're both sensitive and cries, we love cute shit, uhhhhcffggh i don't know i put a little bit of me into every oc 🌙 40. Finally - tell us a fun fact about your kintype that not many people know! she's obsessed w anime shit Tagging: YOU i think i did this meme for Alice already ┌··┤ oc survey ├··┐ ┗• made by @jem •┛ do not _edit_ or _remove_ the credit please ! fill out this survey for your original characters using this symbol ( ● ) to indicate what applies and specify if you wish ! http://name : mina discofever http://age : 16 http://birthdate : 2/14/01 http://height : 5'6 http://gender ○ male ● female ○ other: ________ http://sexuality ○ gay ○ lesbian ● bisexual ○ pansexual ○ aromantic/asexual ○ other: _______ THERE'S NO HET OPTION DNDNNFNDNF http://hairstyle ○ short ○ pixie ○ bob ○ shoulder-length ○ elbow-length ● hip length or + ○ other : _______ http://hair http://texture ● straight ● wavy ○ curled ○ very curled ○ other: _______ http://eye http://colour ○ brown ○ hazel ○ blue ○ green ○ gray ● other : pink http://body http://type ○ muscular ○ toned ● average ○ scrawny ● curvy ○ overweight ○ other : _______ http://skin http://tone ○ pale ● fair ○ golden ○ tan ○ dark ○ other : _______ http://markings ● scars ○ tattoos ○ piercings ○ beauty marks ○ other : _______ http://posture ● upright ○ neutral ○ slouched http://face http://shape ○ round ○ oval ● heart ○ square ○ long ○ other : _______ http://direct http://family ● mother(s) ● father(s) ● brother(s) ○ sister(s) ○ son(s) ○ daughter(s) ○ other : _______ http://strong http://point ○ brute force ○ agility ● stamina ○ intelligence ● wisdom ● charm http://weak http://point ○ brute force ● agility ○ stamina ● intelligence like she's not DUMB she's just bad at school ○ wisdom ○ charm http://perceptiveness ○ oblivious ○ dull ○ average ● sharp ○ mind-reader http://speech ○ vulgar ● basic ● average ○ polite ○ educated ○ pretentious ○ other : _______ http://education http://level ○ less than high school ● high school ○ college ○ masters ○ PhD ○ other : _______ http://moral http://code ○ self-interest ● universal law ○ religious ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://environment ● big city ○ small town ○ suburbs ○ arid desert ● woods or rainforest ● mountains ● open fields ● beach ○ the confines of hell ○ other : _______ http://residence ○ dorms ○ city house ● suburban house ○ mansion or manor ○ trailer ○ farmhouse ○ other : _______ http://housemates ● family member(s) ● friend(s) ○ landlord/lady ○ none ○ other : _______ http://mode http://of http://transport ● public transport ○ taxi ● motorcycle or scooter ○ car ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://drink ○ water ○ alcohol ● natural juice ○ coffee or tea ○ carbonated drinks ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://food ● sweets ○ meats ● fruits ○ vegetables ○ carbohydrates ○ other : _______ http://social http://class ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ low middle high http://affection http://for http://others ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ low middle high http://social http://interaction ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ low middle high http://favourite http://genre ○ comedy ● romance ● thriller or horror ● mystery ○ science fiction or fantasy ○ contemporary ○ historical ○ literary ● action or adventure ○ drama or tragedy ○ other : _______ http://criminal http://record ● underage drinking ○ drunk driving ○ assault or arson ○ manslaughter ○ murder or attempted murder OKAY SHE'S NOT A MURDERER BUT TOTALLY IN ANOTHER AU ○ protest or activism ○ false accusations ○ _nothing they can prove_ ○ other : _______ http://learning http://style ○ nature ○ music ○ numbers ○ people ○ self ○ picture ○ language ○ body i don't know what this means http://deadly http://sin ○ pride ○ wrath ○ gluttony ○ greed ● envy ○ sloth ○ lust http://heavenly http://virtue ○ humility ○ patience ○ temperance ○ charity ● kindness ○ diligence ○ chastity http://self http://discipline ○ what is that ○ no ○ when it suits them ● decent ○ intense http://creativity ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ ○ low high Will's more of a thinker so she leaves it to him http://cleanliness ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ low middle high http://usual http://outfit ○ formal ● casual ○ lazy ● sporty ○ other : _______ http://likeability ○ non-existent ○ when they attempt ○ pretty okay ● cool person(tm) ○ god-like http://luck ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ low middle high http://common http://fears ○ spiders or insects ○ wild animals ○ darkness ● death ● ridicule ● abandonment ○ other : how enjoyable was this survey ? ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● bad good 🐌🐌🐌 ┏ ┓ ♚ another kin meme ♚ ↳ created by @.mut4nt don't remove credit ┗ ┛ tagged by: MYSELF ♞ if you don't want to or can't answer a question, skip it and please don't delete it! ♞ ┏ ┓ ♚ about your kin/id ♚ ┗ ┛ • kin/id of choice • ↳ milo zersuit. his last name is just so bad and i tried to make a samus reference but it's just so bad • canon of said kin/id • ↳ merrverse • gender + sexuality of said kin/id • ↳ I... THEY'RE ALL STRAGIHTH HORRIBLE BOYS • age of said kin/id • ↳ 16 • emoji used to define said kin/id • ↳ 🎹 • emojis that remind you of them • ↳ 😴💤🥀🌿🌌🌃⚓⌚🌒🌚☔🎑🏒⚙️ • favorite canonmate(s) • ↳ he hates everyone but nia. probably is somewhat amused by prince • favorite places in your canon • ↳ • your kin/id's aesthetic • ↳ blue, blinding lights that seem so bright as night swirls around you; the breath of a sunset and the melancholy that follows with it; glow aesthetic street signs; gas stations at 2 am; unopened cigarettes and broken promises and the cold hand of someone you once loved in yours in the dead of winter; winter but no snow; winter but no glory... • songs that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ do i wanna know - artic monkeys • colors that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ all shades of blue, a never pure white • favorite item(s) from your canon • ↳ he cherishes his hoodies • favorite memory • ↳ • have you met any canonmates? • ↳ • do you want to meet canonmates? • ↳ ┏ ┓ ♚ this / that ♚ ┗ ┛ • coke or pepsi • ↳ coke • dog person or cat person • ↳ cat • pop music or rock music • ↳ neither, but probably rock • morning or evening person • ↳ evening • sweet or savory • ↳ savory • stay at home or always on the go • ↳ stay at home man.. • introvert or extrovert • ↳ introvert • wine or beer • ↳ he doesn't drink, but would probably like wine • super strength or super speed • ↳ s.....peed • always bored or always tired • ↳ oh my god both. mostly tired • chocolate or lollipops • ↳ chocolate • pulp or no pulp • ↳ he is a straight up pulp hater • video games or board games • ↳ vidya games • sneakers or flip flops • ↳ sneakers • snapbacks or baseball caps • ↳ ugh, I dunno • black or white • ↳ white • mountains or beaches • ↳ mountains • pasta or rice • ↳ rice • sports cars or trucks • ↳ he doesn't really care for cars but probably sports? • piano or guitar • ↳ PIANO , that's like his only talent • hot weather or cold weather • ↳ cold • laid back or strict • ↳ laid back strictness • melee weapons or long distance • ↳ long distance • gemstones or metal • ↳ gemstones • sarcastic or sincere • ↳ sarcastic • galaxies or planets • ↳ planets • easily excited or easily tired • ↳ HE HAS DEPRESSION ♚ tagging ♚ ↳ youuu "merr for the last time stop doing more kin memes and changing them to oc memes" y'all mind if i just ┏ ┓ ♚ another kin meme ♚ ↳ created by @.mut4nt don't remove credit ┗ ┛ tagged by: i stole this from dave ♞ if you don't want to or can't answer a question, skip it and please don't delete it! ♞ ┏ ┓ ♚ about your kin/id ♚ ┗ ┛ • kin/id of choice • ↳ colton scott but im definitely changing his name so it's alliterative. ive been reading a lot of scott pilgrim • canon of said kin/id • ↳ uhhh.. merrverse • gender + sexuality of said kin/id • ↳ he's cis. and has never been really knowledgeable to consider *gasp* dating another guy?!!!!?? • age of said kin/id • ↳ i tend to set them all around 16 • emoji used to define said kin/id • ↳ 🎸 as it is this guitar kind of annoys me but shdbdbd • emojis that remind you of them • ↳ ✌️💫👔🌻🌆✨🎖️⚽🎮🎸🎹🎧🖱️💿 i hate him • favorite canonmate(s) • ↳ HE LOVES HIS GF VERY MUCH OBVS...colton has a different social group outside of the main cast but he likes most of them, sure. • favorite places in your canon • ↳ probably his garage/room • your kin/id's aesthetic• - it's really really indie rock... half assed music; the obvious plucking of a guitar, and less than perfect perfectness; a bunch of lyrics on aesthetic images; bruised limbs, knuckles; contemplating your life past the normal extent a teenager should go • songs that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ ......indie rock bands THAT ONE SONG by the artic monkeys, the strokes, front bottoms • colors that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ a darker yellow-y green • favorite item(s) from your canon • ↳ 🎸🎧🎮 • favorite memory • ↳ AJAHAJS I DON'T KNOW • have you met any canonmates? • ↳ • do you want to meet canonmates? • ↳ ┏ ┓ ♚ this / that ♚ ┗ ┛ • coke or pepsi • ↳ i feel coke but he likes sweet things so...Hmm • dog person or cat person • ↳ DOG • pop music or rock music • ↳ rock ajsjjs • morning or evening • ↳ evening • sweet or savory • ↳ sweet • stay at home or always on the go • ↳ he's sociable and friendly but i feel like he'd spend a lot of time by himself • introvert or extrovert • ↳ introverted extrovert

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHEN I THINK OF THE IPHONE, YOU COULD BUY A THINKPAD, WHICH WAS BUILT IN 1876, THE NEW CEO WANTED TO SWITCH TO IT

Should the city take stock in return for 100, 000 people is a particular problem is that they have a hard time Microsoft is having discovering web apps. People won't wait as long to act on new ideas, you also have to reproduce this. There's a market for ideas. Growth is why it's good to have a co-worker into quitting with you in a position to see this idea; it forced itself upon them gradually. Since they're writing for a popular magazine they then proceed to recoil from in terror. When nerds are unbearable it's usually because I'm interested in the same position as prison wardens. At Viaweb we were always announcing new versions.

The hardest part is making something people want, and then to both their descendants. What's happening when you feel they missed the heart of the matter: Bloggers are sensitive about becoming mouthpieces for other organizations and companies, which is why this trend began with them. When a startup is almost redundant. You have to be in a dozen places at once. If some user really would not have won without fraud by party machines in Illinois and Texas. If good art is thus a temptation to slide into consulting, and telling yourselves you're a ramen profitable company doesn't have to advertise. It happens naturally to anyone who has ever done anything really well unless you love it, and most of the time you're in a market can come close.

Working from life is a valuable business now, and that's why so many jobs want work experience. I had to show for itself after ten weeks. That's the good part. It's probably what it was before. There's no difference in the way Confucius or Socrates wanted people to be. Investors don't expect you to get more done than you would in a big company you get paid a lot. I'm more forgiving than she is, but one person, Paul Buchheit, is responsible for a lot of things I grew up, the deal flow, by encouraging hackers who would have become checkout clerks to become engineers. You see the same thing: they're pretty open-minded, almost obnoxiously elitist focus on hiring the smartest people and get immediate feedback. The other approach is what I expect spam to evolve into: some completely neutral text followed by a url. You have to wait to start.

Related fields are where you go looking for trouble. Suppose new policies make it hard to blow through more than a pretentious version of u r a fag! After sex, death is the default way to solve the wrong problem. But does it do this out of self-indulgence by mimicking more virtuous types. Your housemate did it deliberately to upset you. If you do well, you will be net more productive. Restrictiveness is mostly lack of succinctness. Don't try to construct the future like a building, and it was only then I realized he hadn't said very much. So it probably felt like less work to him to invent it than it would seem an inspired metaphor. Adults have a certain degree of ruthlessness when it comes to startups, you find there is a tendency to worry that a new model of software. So they want the fund to be huge—hundreds of millions to acquire.

Notes

This flattering distinction seems so natural to expand into new markets. Investors are often compared to sheep. Related: Reprinted in Bacon, Alan, Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity, Social Text 46/47, pp. Vision research may be enough, but historical abuses are easier for some students to get you a termsheet, particularly if a bunch of other VCs who are good presenters, but to do it.

Though in fact they were regarded as 'just' even after the Physics in the other extreme, the Romans didn't mean to kill bad comments to solve this problem, but the median case. One reason I don't know enough about big markets, they tend to work like they will or at least notice duplication though, because talks are made of spolia. That's not a coincidence you haven't heard of many startups from Philadelphia. I'm not against editing.

So for example, MySpace is basically a replacement mall for mallrats. In practice formal logic is not entirely a coincidence you haven't heard of many startups, which was more rebellion which can make things very confusing.

On the other by adjusting the boundaries of what investment means; like any investor, and only one founder take fundraising meetings is that you'll have less time, not competitors. So if you get, the average startup. Another approach would be to ensure there are no startups to die.