#like. his parents mourning the person they wished he was instead of who he actually was. or mourning the potential for him to change

[spacelesscowboy]

i think one of my biggest fears about dying isn’t actually dying, (although it is pretty scary to think about) it’s dying and then being remembered as someone i wasn’t.

[solitaryearthperson]

I have a readiest for Daryl Dixon if your doing it and feel comfortable writing it.

I need a Daryl Dixon fic with daughter reader except she's black (no shade to any other races I just have a specific idea with this one). She'd met the group in the first season and she's related to t-dog or Jaquie and she's suffering with their death she's like shut down and angry because they were the last person she had left but Daryl (despite how he grew up) took her in and became like a father/brother figure to her.

Because in all honesty I feel like Daryl is not at all racist even in early season 2

If you don't feel comfortable writing that's fine just let me know so I can ask another creator. If you do then thank you so so much 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

(Ps. I did copy and paste this ask from when I asked another creator and so if you see it again it is me but the creator didn’t write for it because they didn’t know how to go about it)

Help

Summary: After being silent and not leaving your cell, Daryl decides to talk to you.

(The reader is gender-neutral and their relationship with Daryl is platonic. The ethnicity/race is preferably black.)

"Fuck off!"

Daryl had just entered the prison when he heard the yell and instantly ran to your cell having a sneaking suspicion about who it was that you were yelling at.

Dropping off his catch on a nearby table, his footsteps were quick and surprisingly quiet as he ran up the stairs and passed numerous cells til he finally stopped outside yours and saw who he hoped was not on the receiving end.

At the sound of his steps stopping outside, Carol had turned to see Daryl, and he tried to control the anger at seeing the tears welling up in the poor woman's face. Similar to Carol's predicament, after the tragic death of T-Dog, you and Daryl had become close. He knew what it was like to lose family and how in a world like this, it was hard to take the time to fully process and mourn their death. He wasn't that close with the man, but he had helped and survived enough with him to have enough respect for him and you, his child.

"Hey," he said softly, placing his crossbow down against the wall, nodding to Carol.

She didn't verbally say it back, only nodded her head.

"How are they," he asked, already knowing the answer wouldn't be good.

Stepping closer to him and away from the cell's entrance, she spoke lowly to him. "They're finally talking a little bit. Although it's mostly telling me to leave." She knew you were still processing his death, and didn't blame you for being mad at her. His death was horrible and everyday, she felt terrible that he had died saving her.

"Have they ate," he asked her. It had been almost two weeks since T-Dog's death, and ever since it happened, you had become mute, staying mostly in your cell, and rarely ever eating anything. You allowed him and some of the others to come in sometimes, but you constantly fought them on eating and talking.

"They've drunk some water and ate a little bit of leftovers from last night, but it wasn't much."

Letting out a sigh, he stepped around Carol and entered your cell, letting his eyes run over it. The top bunk where you used to sleep was not touched since T-Dog's death, and instead you had moved down to his bunk, where you were currently wrapped in a sheet, hugging your knees, with dark rings forming under your eyes. Although he had seen and visited you plenty of times in your cell, he wasn't sure how much sleep you had actually been getting.

"(Y/N)," he said your name, and you looked up at him with eyes that he wished he could make happy again. "You know Carol wants to help you, right?"

You didn't say anything and instead lowered your head until your forehead was touching your knees.

"You shouldn't have yelled at her," he told you. "I know you miss him, we both know it, but..." Like with Carol, he struggled to find the right words to comfort you. He knew how it felt to lose a parent, but you and T-Dog's relationship was completely different from him and his father's.

"She wanted to apologize to me," you finally spoke, your voice soft and slightly scratchy from not having spoken that much in a while. "She wanted to talk about him, tell me that she's sorry for what happened, and..." you tried to control it, but it was too late. Tears began to run down your cheeks and you looked up at Daryl to see he was looking just as sorrowful as you. "I can't, Daryl...I miss him. I wish he was here. I can't talk about him."

With that he knew what you were doing. He had suspected it for a while, but wasn't sure until now. After getting separated from Merle, he had gone through the same phase of trying to not think or talk about him too much or else he would break down. He knew that's what you needed. To finally break down and talk.

Exhaling softly, he sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to lay your head on his chest, and he could feel your body begin to shake as you let out a sob. He knew this position would make you break as it was similar to how T-Dog used to hug you into his side before you both said goodnight to each other and go to your respective bunks.

Too busy crying, you didn't hear the slow footsteps outside your cell and entering it until you looked up to see Carol looking nervously down at you, her face, like Daryl's, full of sorrow.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)," she said, kneeling down to the floor to see your face. "I know you miss him. If you ever want to talk about him, we're here. Okay?"

Silently nodding your head, you found yourself enjoying the feel of Daryl's hand comfortingly rubbing your back. You still didn't feel comfortable at the thought of talking about your father just yet, and looking down at your face, Daryl could see it as well.

"I'll talk to you 'bout Merle and you talk to me 'bout T-Dog. How 'bout that?" He had read somewhere that after losing a parent, a person needed a support system. At the time, he didn't know what it meant by 'support system,' but now, after watching the happy, smiling person he once knew become this sad, quiet shell, he realized he, Carol, and the others were what you needed right now.

"Okay," you told him, lifting your head to wipe your face.

"Good." He lifted his arm from your shoulder and stood up with Carol doing the same. "You ready to eat now, kid? I caught some rabbits. You need to eat."

Feeling your stomach twist with hunger, you nodded your head, before standing up from the bed, and letting the bed sheet fall from your shoulders. You knew he was right, and that more than likely if you said no, he and the others would have probably tried to force you to eat again.

"Are rabbits good," you asked him, following him and Carol out the cell, your steps slow and tentative.

"Yeah. Trust me, you'll like it." He walked back to you and wrapped his arm around you again, making sure to help you as much as he could.

[emmawithtwoms]

MY TAKE ON SIRIUS BLACK

I feel like Sirus and Walburga's relationship has so much potential to be way more toxic than usually depicted.

I'm gonna use canon references here, and explain my opinion, here goes:

When Sirius escapes Azkaban and needs a place to stay, Grimmauld place is the last house he wants to go to, now, many might say that it's obvious why, his family was extremely abusive, but how abusive are we really talking about here?

We know that Walburga's portrait loaths Sirius with all her being, and yells at him constantly, aided by Kreacher, but then WHY would Sirius hide away in her room when he is sulking?

Same thing with Regulus: the very first thing Sirius does once he is back in that house is to clean everything: there is not a single corner of that house that he does not turn inside out in order to get rid of evrything that belonged to his family, except for three rooms: His Room, Walburga's room and Regulus' room.

If he hated him that much, how come he didn't even open that bedroom? He could have offered it to Harry to sleep in, but instead he kept it as if his brother had just left.

Could it be a way of mourning a family he wished he had? A brother he wish he could have known better?

Stay with me for another bit.

The only thig Sirius says about his childhood home is that he loathed his whole family, he never said anything about being phisically abused, although we can imagine that happened, seeing the magnificent collection of dark artifacts in that home.

The only time Sirius speaks about his brother all he says is:

"I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically Royal...my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them...

"He was younger than me, and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded...

"Stupid idiot, he joined the Death Eathers...

"They thought Voldemort had the right idea, they wew all in for the purification of the wizarding race...

"the got cold feet when they saw what he was prepared to do to get power, but I bet my parents thought Regulus was a right little hero for joining up at first...

"He was murdered by Voldemort. Or on Voldemort's order, more likely; I doubt Regulus was ever important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person. From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out."

OOTP CH.6

Now, Sirius doesn't say that anything actually bad to him happened in that house, but we can see lots of resentment towards Regulus. And even tho he could have called him any kind of names, the only things he said are that he was "Soft enough to believe them, a better son and an Idiot".

Here comes what I think happened in that house:

Sirius and his family had that kind of "I'm doing this because I love you" relationship: I believe that Walburga and Sirius had a kind of sick love between them, same thing for the brothers.

I think that Walburga was the kind of parent that would punish Sirius each time he would do something "bad", and it would be very stern and abusive punishments, to then close them with a kind caress on his face while she told him "You know I'm just doing this because I love you, Sirius" or "I just want what's best for you, darling." And that brought to this extremely toxic and codependent relationship where Sirius actually felt bad for disappointing his parents, even tho he knew he never did anything actually wrong.

I then believe that the constant comparison with his brother brought a young and affection starved Sirius to act out even more, to just wanting to be seen by his parents, and that made him develop a strong resentment towards his brother, who was much better than him at playing their parent's game.

I think Sirius actually loved his brother in his own way, and kinda felt responsable for his downfall: the word soft is the real key here, I interpret it as a way of saying that all Reg actually wanted was their parent's approval, and he ended up genuinely believing him, as I believe Sirius would have done if he ended up in Slytherin.

And I support this because Sirius actually reserched things about his brother's death, obviously it's all filled with hatred, but still he wanted to know what happened to his little brother.

Everything changed when he was 16 and he ran away from home, but we don't know what really happened, we can only imagine what the last straw was that made him run to the Potter's.

I firmly believe that Sirius would have been much more similar to Regulus, had he never known James Potter.

So, I think that Sirius not tearing apart his mother's portrait (He could have slashed it as he did with the Fat Lady's in PoA), him not touching his brother's room and taking refuge in Walburga's are all signs that he actually mourned a family he never had, he wished to be loved as a child, and never really realized what made it all so hard for them to be such a cursed family.

So yeah, this is my take on Sirius's relationship with his family, I would gladly talk to someone about ths because I really spend too much time analyzing Sirius Black.

[lloydfrontera]

i think there was a comparison of tcf and tged here but atleast in tged og lloyd's parents still notice their son is not their actual son, unlike cale's family who were glad he just simply become non trash (this was the most upsetting when i read here that arcos and marbella noticed but cale's did not or even the butlers), a non family member didn't wish or say that it was great that og lloyd was replaced by someone else even if that someone is more helpful to the county, unlike alberu who was glad that cale got replaced, and another atleast suho plans to tell the truth to lloyd's parents unlike with rok soo to cale's parents who accepted he is cale (but then again og cale did request to accept the body they are in as who they are actually are)

i feel like i got a bunch of spoilers shoved down my throat but i have no context to them so no harm done ajshdksfd

i have no idea how fair it is to compare tged to tcf, they're two different pieces of media with their own themes, plots and characters going on and different people like different things. that's fine. i just personally disliked that people kept comparing my blorbo to their blorbo to make theirs look better. i don't want to the same thing! that's not very nice!

so i'm just gonna talk about what i do know which is the way tged treated og lloyd! i've read a bunch of isekai stories and it's rare the times the og characters are taken into account or even acknowledged so i was pleasantly surprised with how much focus tged put on the fact that suho did take someone's place, he did lie to his family and he did pretend to be someone he wasn't. and he feels genuinely sorry about it. he doesn't justify it by thinking he's better than og lloyd anyway so no harm done. he genuinely wants to apologize and make it right and he wants to do it at the right moment.

and then when the people around him find out the truth, they're not,,, happy about it. they don't think it was for the best or that og lloyd got what he deserved or that they're glad for it.

javier is the closest thing we get to something like that and even then he's genuinely torn about what he should do with the information. he hated og lloyd, absolutely despised the guy's guts, but even then he's not glad that he got replaced even when he acknowledges the new lloyd is hardworking, constructive and reliable. he doesn't know where his loyalties should lie and he's "filled with anguish" as he tries to decide what to do.

it would've been very easy for bk moon to just go "yeah he doesn't care that the son of the family he swore to protect got replaced by a stranger that's been lying to him for years" like, ahem, some other people would have, but instead he took the time to acknowledge that "hey, this is a genuinely fucked up situation, there's no right answer here, anyway you slice it someone will get hurt and the only way to move forward is to minimize the damage and make amends to the people who were hurt".

which is nice to see in an isekai! even tho og lloyd was absolute human garbage the narrative didn't dismiss him as a person and instead acknowledge that while it wasn't lloyd's fault there was still a someone being hurt by the fact he possessed a body that wasn't his.

and then when his parents find out they genuinely mourn the child they lost. there's no happiness, no joy, not even relief at being rid of a constant source of worry and disappointed. they're so... sad and heartbroken about their son being gone. even while they accept lloyd as their kid, even as much as they come to love him, there is no moment where they express any kind of pleasure about him replacing og lloyd. rather you get the sensation that they wish they could've had both of them at the same time, that they wish one hadn't come at the price of the other, that they love both of them so, so much even as different as they are.

the only one who doesn't express any kind of regret or sadness about og lloyd is julian which... honestly, it's very earned. no one should be forced to mourn their abuser, which exactly what og lloyd was to julian. if julian had expressed sadness over og lloyd that would've been his right, but the fact that he never did, at least not on-screen shouldn't be held against him, considering the amount of hurt og lloyd caused him.

so yeah! i really like the way bk moon handled this aspect of the story! again, i don't know how tcf works or what happens on it and at this point i'm not really interested in knowing! i'm sure it did its own thing and that it was great too!

[daisymylove]

 Right, I may get some heat for this, but here we go. MAJOR SPOILERS OF CHOT AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

As someone who had been waiting for this book for TWO YEARS, my main take away is that Chain of thorns ended being an utter disappointment. As a former fan of Game of thrones, and other fans will get my meaning, I say this book gives me season 8 vibes: a ludicrous and incomplete conclusion to something that could’ve been epic, marinated on wasted potential.The thing is, we KNOW everything will turn out alright with the world at the end and the villains will fail, after all, this is a prequel on a ya series.We know that many of those characters are the ancestors of the TMI and TDA gangs, BUT that does not mean it couldn’t have been a very enjoyable story that leaves you at the edge of your seat, for we would get to see HOW things came to be

What bothers me the most is how Daisy’s protagonism was stolen, and that’s a first for a cc lead.

Its hinted several times in TDA that Cordelia was a hero whose name shadowhunter history would never forget.She was the sword that stood between evil and the world, saving it from doom on a byegone era... but she kinda didn’t? I shit you not, Cordelia’s greatest features on this book were to kill Tatiana (seriously?) and bang james on a tub.And that’s all.And if anyone had to kill tatiana at all, that person should be grace, it would be a great end to her arc of abuse, but that’s beside the point here

All the build up of “we must get cordelia in there so she can vanquish belial and end this’’ was for literally NOTHING.

After so many people either doubting her, or saying she was their only hope, after spending most of the book not fighting and staying on the sidelines because of the paladin busyness (and making some unhinged decisions along the way), she doesn’t fight Belial AT ALL. WHAT? If she had stabbed james, would it be cohf 2.0? well yes, but it still would’ve been better than james going “time for suicide mission lololol” and driving cortana to his chest.And the healing blade? where did that come from? That was such a cheap way for him to not die

The trip to Edom was for literally nothing.Sure, it brought her and lucie closer after the strain on their friendship,but that doesn’t require a trip to Edom, they could’ve just talked and sorted out their shit

Kit’s death was ridiculous and UNmourned. Tatiana, who has no training whatsoever, killed him throwing a poisoned dagger on his shoulder. Nevermind that In book one this boy survived an also poisoned gash that ripped his torso open. Who remembers that anyway? Its not absurd at all.

Point being that if youre going to kill him, do it with dignity and give weight to it.We don’t see his funeral, we don’t see the adults finding it out, nor his parents and henry mourning, we barely see the tlh gang mourning.Jem was throughly mourned, AND HE DIDN’T EVEN DIE.Kit’s death was the literary equivalent of the Loki meme “yes very sad, anyway”  

On the topics of things we didn’t see, I’m livid that there was so much page time wasted on that senseless love triangle THAT EVERYBODY KNEW WOULD AMOUNT TO PRECIOUS NOTHING, and many important things were either told, or left open.I just wish this love triangle had never happened and Cordelia and matt had remained platonic friends. Give matthew another love interest or none at all, he and james already had enough problems to work through as it was 

 They could’ve left for france together as just friends you know. They could’ve even kissed on the basis of “why the fuck not? we are both pining and everything already went to shit anyway”, but then realized it was a mistake and let’s leave it at that.Also it came to a point where the romantic stalling of the minor couples was just too much, it felt like page filler instead of the true conflict resolution they needed to set things right and be together.I was reading all that and wondering “all right, but where’s the actual plot?” 

the explanation for the family tree was ridiculous.I would prefer some “when the city of bones fell, we lost an awful lot of data, and thats why all the documentation of the period is messed up”

The whole conflict of the clave finding out about Jesse’s identity was resolved too easily at the end

Matthew coming clean to his parents and charlotte being pregnant again was such a big and anticipated moment, and yet all we get is Cordelia telling us what james told her

Charles comes out in front of everyone and we dont see that 

Will and tessa cry thinking their kids are gonna die and we dont see that

Thomas’ come out was a bit better, but it was still telling rather than showing

dont get me started on the plot holes.Im pretty sure cc said we would see james get more powers, but all we got was the as old as time cliche of protagonists losing their powers, and that didnt make a slight of sense.They automatically lose their powers after belial “dies”, while tessa remains very much a warlock and a shapeshifter? Make it make sense. Those powers come first and foremost from Tessa, Belial dying doesnt alter the demonic blood on their veins

The cherry on the top of a long list of absurdities, to me, are the watchers. Anyone can correct me if Im wrong, but how in the world there were so many dead silent brothers and iron sisters? it doesnt add up, there should be some of them, but not enough to flood dozens of shadowhunters on their own.The nephilim only have a thousand years of existence, (magnus said more than once that he has met warlocks who had been born before the first shadowhunter was created) and those folks not only live absurdly long lives, but tend to die of natural causes.Jem lived for over a century as a silent brother and aged only two years.It doesnt add up

also am I missing something, or how matthew, thomas and alastair escaped the massive statues was completely brushed over? 

The two truths and a lie was total bullshit.It was also said that there would be political marriage, the gang would go to idris and camille and wolsey would make come backs,but none of that happened.

thats it, thats my rant that probably no one will read bc of how fucking long it is

[starlit-dreaming]

[prologue] re: All in the Past

Fandom: Persona (3 & 4) Rating: M Major/Eventual Ships: Akihamu Minor Ships: Jundori, Minayuka AU: Twin Protags + Somebody Lives/Not Everybody Dies + Post-Canon AU Note: Cross-posted on AO3 under the same title.

Summary:

Kotone Shiomi might be an idiot. No, actually, she is undoubtedly an idiot, because no one in the right mind would choose to stick around in the same city that took her loved ones away, a place that had nothing for her. She knew that her parents loved this wretched place, that they often swung by to play concerts when they were alive. Her brother had loved this terrible place, enough to want to finish his schooling, enough to actually consider opening up that bakery she always joked about. Her brother made friends here, he even had a girlfriend (which, gross, someone actually thought her gloomy brother was attractive), and he was finally opening up his heart to people. On their phone calls, he had even asked Kotone questions of her life! Questions that he’s never bothered to ask before! And then he died. He died, leaving everything behind — money, his cosplay crap, the letters she sent him over the years, and… He left her a goodbye letter. //In which the aftermath of Minato's death affected those outside of SEES.

A/N:

I wrote a fanfic around 2014 on FFN under my first fanfic writing account (and I want no reminders of its existence, but if it gets found, just know I will scream and cry if you do find it). It was intended to be a one-shot, although it was very open-ended and I didn’t really want to think too deeply on it. Originally, this was meant to hype me up for P3: Reload, but I haven’t touched it yet because I’m still mourning over the fact that there’s no Female Protag. Hamuko is a nickname; Kotone Shiomi will be used as her full name! Also, I’ll be including Japanese suffixes to better portray relationships. Fun fact: The University is named “Hankyō” (反響) which means “echo” and “reverberation”, which I found to be poetic, because Hamuko’s following after the traces of her brother’s memory in order to solve the mystery of his death. @hwang-lucas because I'm posting this fic for you instead of letting it collect dust in my google docs LMAO

Chapters: [prologue] 1 | 2 | 3

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0. prologue

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Beginning of March, 2011

Breathe in. Breathe out.

This will be the third time in her life that she visits the Iwatodai Graveyard, and she wishes that it never went beyond the first visit.

But that’s the thing about life.

Like it or not, you don’t always get what you want.

“Thank you for showing me the way,” she politely bowed at the handsome silver-haired young man.

“No problem, Shiomi-san,” Akihiko Sanada gave her a sympathetic smile as he hands over the bucket of water — for cleaning the graves, she idly reminds herself as her eyes linger on his muscles for just a second too long. “Will you be okay from here?”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Yeah, no worries,” she replied, smiling at the stranger despite the clenching of her fists. It was very hard not to grab his shoulders and shake him for answers about her brother, but she knew better than to do that.

Easy. Just take it easy. They don’t know you, and he might not be one of them.

It was, predictably, harder to watch him walk away without any answers to any question of hers.

When she first arrived in the area, she got lost — plain and simple, and flat out embarrassing. Her phone was dead, and she couldn’t contact anyone who might know something — not that she knew anyone in Iwatodai, much less Tatsumi Port Island, to begin with. Maybe Mitsuru Kirijo, the person who helped fund her brother’s funeral and arranged everything, but she’s not sure if that’s how she wants to get back into contact with her brother’s friend…

Anyway, that was how she became acquainted with Akihiko Sanada — she wound up finding the police station and asked for directions to the graveyard. The officer at the desk was a rather intimidating fellow, and maybe it was obvious that she was gradually getting more and more confused at the older man’s instructions as he mentioned the names of streets and buildings, that Akihiko Sanada, a handsome young man who had been in the room, had politely offered to show her the way.

Which, she supposes, has been the only good thing about the day for her.

Talking to Akihiko was easy, and maybe that was because he was easy on the eyes. As she glanced at their surroundings throughout the journey to the graveyard, he made it easy to feel as if she hadn’t been an outsider looking in. He made recommendations to some of the food places, she asked about things like the bookstores and cafés. Eventually, they touched on the topic of why she was visiting the graveyard, and he sympathized with her by mentioning his younger sister after she spoke of her brother.

His name sounded familiar enough, so chances are, Akihiko had been one of her brother’s friends. There was a brief mention of an Akihiko-senpai, and she had suspicions that they were one in the same. She would need to revisit the letters her brother sent her as well as the emails to be sure. Detective Shirogane was arriving next week, so the sooner she figures it all out, the better.

Still, it was clear that Akihiko managed to walk forward with his grief, even if it still hurts.

She wondered, then, that if it was her who left this world, would her brother mourn for her in the same way as Akihiko had done for his sister? Would he miss her, often, but still find the strength within him to still push forward?

Or would he be standing here, alone in a world that feels strange? Alone, and unwilling to let sleeping demons be, to touch upon matters that were best left behind as everyone had advised? The past is in the past, but would he let himself feel angry at the world? Would he get frustrated when things feel hopeless, despair when it starts to feel pointless? Would he deal with detective after detective, the constant confirmations that he’s in over his head, and that the only logical explanation ought to be drugs and a friend wanting to protect their reputation?

Oh, but she knows. She knows her brother better than anyone else in the world prior to his death. And, maybe, the only thing she never knew was the him before he died. He would wear his apathy to mask the painful aches, if he ever allowed himself to feel in those fleeting moments.

But, unlike her, Minato had friends that he could trust. Friends he could count on.

Her brother was strong, both physically and mentally.

And, more importantly, he isn’t her.

He’s not Kotone.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

She won’t break down like this. She hasn’t cried in years, and she’s not gonna start now, when she knows absolutely nothing about the man her brother became. Oh, she certainly raged at his death, cursing the world for all that it’s taken from her, but she had yet to shed honest tears over his death.

And instead, she smiles. Smiles were a good thing. Smiles made people feel safe and reassured. Smiles made her likeable. Smiles hadn’t failed her, even when she’s alone and tired and sick of it all—

Eventually, she manages to find her brother’s grave, settled beside her parent’s gravestone. Her parents eloped and ran away from their respective families after marrying, but only her father was disowned by his family. The Shiomi Family was matriarchal, and because Kotone was the only girl born in her generation and was therefore the heiress — at least, until one of her cousins were born and Kotone was more than happy to pass on the hat, so to speak — she was accepted into the family with open arms after her parents died, even if they criticized her mother often.

So, it was a bit surprising to know that her parents didn’t have their gravestone in the Shiomi Family Graveyard. For Minato, it was probably thanks to his friend who likely argued in his favor. Did he ever talk to her about their maternal family? Or did he just leave the thought alone?

Vaguely, she recalls a blurry memory of her crouched down in front of their parent’s grave. She was just a little kid sobbing, her brother hugging her, traumatized and different because the adults said so, saying that he had been awake when the accident occurred.

(She woke up in the remnants of the accident, after their parents had passed, with her brother shaking her and trembling all the while, with an expressionless look on his face and tears falling down. In the midst of burning flames and blooming pain that looked almost like an ominous green, she was traumatized in a different way.

But that is neither here nor there.)

Kotone shakes her head, settling down and opening her yellow backpack for the cleaning rags and got to work cleaning her parent’s grave. Her brother’s grave was much cleaner and well-cared for, likely visited by his friends more than her parent’s have ever been. But, his stone sits beside them, like his cremated ashes placed beside their parents in her room.

Seeing his name engraved in the stone was a very jarring thing. It’s a strange sight, one that she never expected to see before she’s even considered a young adult. Like her brother, her name will also be carved in this place when she passes, and she hopes her family honors that request.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Kotone rinses out the cleaning rag and places the flowers for her parents.

Seventeen.

Minato died when they were both only seventeen.

And now here she was, eighteen and in a world without him.

Living in the same city where their parents died, the same city that traumatized him and left them both orphans. The same city that she recently moved to, just to cling onto the could-haves and should’ve-beens.

Eighteen and alone, when they promised to move in together so she can finally escape the Shiomi Family and he can finally live without them threatening to hold their parent’s inheritance against him.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

When she attended his funeral, her family — her mother’s side of the family, because father was disowned after he eloped with mother and adopted his own mother’s maiden name — was solemn and quiet, but all of them only showed up for appearances. Most inquired about possessions, and only some of them realized that she was still there. Everything went to her, except for certain boxes that he himself had set aside and noted for who it would go to. He drafted his own will, apparently, and left it with the same lawyer their parents used who looked at her with sympathy and pity.

All of his belongings had been neatly tucked and packaged away, as if to make it all easier.

Her brother had told her that his time was coming to a close, that he was tired. She thought he was joking when she first read that email, with him talking about graduation for his senpais. She thought that with how animated his letters and emails became after befriending his friends, that he was finally coming out of his shell. Maybe he had a flair for dramatics, something she never knew, and wouldn’t that have been nice to have in common with her brother?

She thought wrong, when she received that dreadful phone call from a stranger whose name she’s only known through her brother’s letters and emails.

It sickened her, really. She had months worth of letters and emails from him, and as his letters stopped, descending into short phone calls and even shorter emails, she thought nothing of it. He sounded tired, and she could only assume that he hadn’t been sleeping well again.

Final exams often did that to people. So what? He missed a few phone calls, and he sent her apology texts whenever he missed five. Whatever. He’s a busy guy.

How naïve of her. Did she really think it was normal?

She thought it was strange, maybe even suspicious at times. His first week there was odd when he emailed her about it, no matter how much the detectives justified it as delusions or just pure exhaustion. He even claimed it, but it still stood out to her.

Because apparently he was so exhausted and thought the city turned into some sort of deranged graveyard in greens, with blood oozing in places and the moon yellow. She even thought it was a dream of his, since he mentioned dozing off on the train at some point, and that maybe it’d be a great premise for a suspenseful horror story he wanted to write. At some point he mentioned his dorm mate-turned-friend-turned-girlfriend, Yukari Takeba, had pointed a gun at him. Granted, she supposes that having a gun was probably for the best safety-wise since only two girls and a guy lived at the dorms until her brother came along, as well as the others.

She wonders if this Yukari girl had known about her brother’s condition. Apparently, from what was told, the doctors claimed that her brother passed away in his sleep. How that was possible at such a young age, she hadn’t the slightest idea.

It was like one day, he was spirited away.

At one point in all their correspondence, he mentioned that his friend asked him to kill him, and that he felt horrified at the idea of it. She doesn’t blame him, but since she couldn’t even find a Facebook profile of this Ryoji guy, she wonders if her brother was… if he was talking about himself, rather than an actual friend. She hopes not — God, she really hopes not. How much was her brother struggling? Did he actually rely on his friends, or did he only tell her that so she’d feel at ease?

She… was too distraught at the funeral to take notice of them. His friends did show up, at least, she thinks they did, but they mostly didn’t approach her, and she kept to herself. A young woman, Mitsuru, had expressed her condolences to her directly, saying that she was her brother’s friend, and offered her phone number if she ever needed it.

But Kotone never called her. The number was saved on her phone, but… she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Her nails were digging into her skin painfully, and the pain quickly washes away when she immediately releases her clenched fists upon realizing this fact. She’s been staring at the bouquet of flowers resting before her brother’s gravestone — pinks and blues, seeming almost symbolic of something.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Vision is shaking, but that’s normal.

Right. She can think this over and over again a million times, and she will, but now she’s here visiting her brother’s… grave. What should she even say to him? Should she apologize for being unable to visit his grave because she hadn’t fully moved to Iwatodai yet, even though she prayed to him and their parents often? Should she tell him how exhausting it was to unpack everything by herself? That her university admissions made a mistake with her transfer paperwork, so she ended up wasting maybe an hour having to wait on getting that crap sorted out? Does she talk about the journey to the graveyard because she got hopelessly lost?

Does she talk about the detectives, all of the ones that rejected her case? Or what about the ones who threw insulting remarks about him or his friends, or the few believing that the Kirijo Group had some involvement? Not all of them were bad, she supposes.

But what does it say about all those full grown men, when it was a kid barely into his first year of high school who reached out to her first?

The same kid who asked her if she was still looking for someone to look into her case?

What the hell do normal people really talk about, anyway? What should someone say, despite the distant relationship they shared prior to them passing on?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Hey,” she settles on a smile. “Sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”

Before he decided to attend Gekkoukan High School, they were only able to meet up a few times in a year if they were lucky. All of them had been for family gatherings, and Minato had been shoved into house to house among their relatives because none of them wanted to deal with the more traumatized twin.

They only stayed in contact through her sheer stubborn will, and she doubts her brother would agree to it if she hadn’t been intentionally annoying and nosy about his life. The letters were meant to be his reprieve from her constantly trying to contact him by phone.

(Maybe she should’ve tried harder.)

It was a good thing that she didn’t give up on staying in contact. She doubts that she would be excluded from it as his twin sister, but if she wasn’t one of his contacts, maybe she wouldn’t have even known about the funeral. Some of their relatives still didn’t find out until recently.

(And they were all disgustingly the same, murmuring feigned sorrow with greedy eyes as they reluctantly ask about whatever was left of their inheritance from their parents.

She knows they wish she were out of the picture, too.)

“I know you didn’t want to talk to me about a bunch of stuff, but what the hell, big bro?” she dryly laughed. “What’s up with all the money and cosplay crap?”

Part of her thinks that maybe he really did do some shady jobs — the money he left behind to her was enough to buy her several houses and live comfortably unemployed for years, and that didn’t include the inheritance from their parents and the royalties they still received from their music. If she was smart with her money and didn’t waste it, if she made a few investments, then she’d be set for life.

(One detective thought that maybe he sold raunchy cosplay pictures, a mental image that was, and still is, very much unwanted and unneeded and made zero sense with what she knew of her brother. It helps that the detective seemed just as uncomfortable with the thought as she was.

Another suggested it was from video game competitions, which sounded much more likely and vastly more doable and preferable.)

Similar to their parents, there were royalties coming in under his name. Maybe she ought to revisit those papers and figure out why that is. The past few months, she’s been more focused on graduating and planning what to do next, so she tried to avoid thinking about most of the unpleasant aspects that come after someone’s passing, which included those royalties.

Still, he really did leave behind a lot of stuff. Weapons, clothes, accessories, books, and a bunch of miscellaneous stuff. The few detectives willing to entertain her case before declining after hearing that the Kirijo Group was involved considered that maybe his school club was one of those Dungeons and Dragons thing, but was much more serious to the point that they’d embody their character. His phone’s background was also proof that he was really into gaming. It explained half the problems and nothing more.

So this whole green world thing from the first letter was maybe a mistake, which was possible. He might’ve been tired and started writing a scene and forgot that it was a letter to her. Debatable, questionable, but not impossible. The weapons thing felt odd, but her brother had never been very forthcoming about his interests other than music, so that left room for possibilities. Books were normal, but the random outfits and accessories made sense when lumped together as part of the cosplay stuff. He had an armband with “SEES” on it, which was apparently one of his after school clubs.

What concerned her was the random health stuff. 

He had a notebook. It mentioned the names of the items, the effects of it, the HP and SP — that was one of the tip offs that it must’ve just been a group game thing. Some were items were relatively harmless, but the more concerning items were what he noted to be “Rancid Gravy” and “Odd Morsel”.

She supposes that it was fortunate that Mitsuru Kirijo had offered to buy most of her brother’s things for her, even if she sent an assistant to handle the deal. Even if she was sure that the Kirijo Group covered up her brother’s cause of death, she did seem guilty about it. And ashamed, if the avoidance of a second in-person meeting was any indication.

One of the suggestions for her brother’s cause of death was overwork, despite being at the pinnacle of health. That was the official story, anyway.

(How the hell does the rising star of the track team die in his sleep, without an ounce of drugs in his blood?)

It was painful going through his belongings, and the whole thing felt rather ironic. She would want for nothing thanks to her brother’s passing, and yet him being alive was the only thing she wished for.

She crouches down, feeling so incredibly small and sad and angry at the world. It looked like the grave was well-maintained. His friends, she thinks, because their family hadn’t thought kindly of her and her brother, except for a few who were never able to care for them.

A passing thought flickers in her mind, wondering if her brother ever visited their parents while he was here.

Probably not.

He didn’t like reminiscing any more than she did.

She places an incense, a habit that’s become second nature since the death of their parents. Even if she doesn’t believe in an afterlife, she finds comfort in the gesture. It helps, knowing that if it really did exist despite her disbelief, then she could make her loved ones happy even if just for a short while.

“I don’t even know if melon bread is still your favourite,” she admits softly, placing the plastic wrapped bread on the grave as an offering. “I’d like to think it still is.”

It’d be devastating if she were ever told otherwise, but she likes to pretend that she still knows her brother well. Her brother would eat anything placed in front of him, but he had minor dislikes that popped up from time to time. When she first started learning how to cook back when they were younger and still lived together, she was absolutely terrible, but her brother never complained and simply made suggestions little by little. He sent her compliments when she sent him cookies every once in a while, and she promised to cook for him whenever she had the chance to see him.

Her brother was always the better chef, though. He was always sending her recipes, mentioning alterations he’s done. She didn’t really have the chance to show off when they reached high school, but she promised she would. Hell, he entertained the idea of a restaurant, purely because he had a senpai who was good at cooking.

And now, she’ll never have that chance to cook for her brother.

“You promised,” she muttered, feeling so horribly hurt and broken as she smiled with gritted teeth. “Did you remember? We were going to be grown-ups and open up our own bakery or restaurant. I’d deal with the customers, and you could stay in the kitchen cooking and baking all day, rocking out to music as much as you want, and then when we close up shop, we can just go upstairs and be at home relaxing in minutes.”

It was a what-if, a possible future plan, but she wanted to be with her brother because he was the only person left who understood. She wanted them to live an easy and simple life, because it was hard to move from place to place with no one to return home to.

And that’s what will happen now. Moving to a new place with no one to come home to.

Again.

“You liar,” she muttered, bitter and hateful, burying her face into the palm of her hands. Part of her wants to cry, but she won’t, and she hasn’t. This dreadful place doesn’t deserve her tears. She could smell the sandalwood incense, and yet again, she’s reminded of that time during their parent’s funeral.

How could he leave like this? Did she even cross his mind?

Ah, but she knows. She knows that whatever happened to him, he didn’t want to leave her.

It wasn’t said outright, but there was a chance that he’d be fine. That he was going to hang in there.

Something happened to him, but what ?

She clenched her fists, her nails once again digging into her skin.

It’s very easy for her, she thinks, to feel resentful about everything. Resentful of her brother, of his death, of herself — everything.

Between the two of them, she was always selfish, something that she didn’t mind until now, always wanting things to go her way. She was always more resentful, she knew hatred so intimately well that it made her feel bitter to her bones. Maybe that was why she knew that he’d tell her to leave it be, let bygones be bygones, and to not even try to look into his death.

But her brother was gone, so he can’t really tell her what to do. And she won’t take the imagined advice — not even if he were to rise from the dead to tell her himself.

She’ll damn well figure out why he died.

——————————

[Unsent Letter]

From: Minato Arisato

To: Kotone Shiomi

January – 2010

Dear Hamuko,

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

I’m not sure if this letter will ever reach you, but if it has, then. Well, I’m gone, and the world hasn’t ended like we thought it would. This day came sooner than I thought, and it’s hard sometimes, but I think I get what you mean now. About rising above challenges as long as you’re with some friends, even if you were only talking about manga. I have a promise to keep to my friends, and I’ll die trying to achieve it.

Maybe in another life, or another world, you could understand what I’m going through. Or maybe we would live normal lives and build up that bakery you keep yapping on about.

I’m sorry for never really being present in your life. You always reach out to me, even when you get upset at me for something I’ve done. I do feel guilty about that, and I can’t make anyone happy here no matter what I choose to do. I know you’ll be okay, you always manage to bounce back up no matter what, but that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.

I’d like to tell you I’m sorry in person, but if you received this letter, then I can’t do that.

My choices have brought me to this point, and I can’t say I regret anything about my life now that I understand what true relationships are like.

I do regret one thing, and that’s leaving you behind. I’m sorry, Hamuko, for breaking our promises. I won’t ask you to forgive me.

This is just another consequence of my actions, and I will bear it as my responsibility.

You will always be my little sister.

Goodbye,

Minato

——————————

‘Now what?’ She thinks, staring blankly at the gravestone. ‘I bought an old dormitory to renovate so I can feel less guilty for using brother's money one I start getting tenants  — I need to do some tidying up, but it’ll be a good place to rent out, so I can have a little extra money just to be safe. I don’t have a meeting with the detective until next weekend, and I need to wait to hear about my enrollment to University.’

She looks up into the sky, watching the clouds floating by amidst the sunset skies.

How long has she been standing here?

“Shiomi-san? You’re still here?” comes the familiar voice, surprise and a hint of concern in his voice. Looking up, she finds herself staring at the man she’s seen only several hours ago.

“Oh, Sanada-san,” she politely greeted after a moment of silence.

She knew that seeing him again was inevitable, considering that he was a student at the university she’s enrolling into, but it’s only been a few hours. And, unlike before, he wasn’t alone. Standing a little away was a group of young adults, with a teen, a dog, and a foreigner girl.

“I was actually just about done,” she smiled at him. “There’s been a lot on my mind, so it’s rather refreshing to get it off my chest.”

It wasn’t necessarily a lie — she really did feel better, even if she had a minor headache from all the things that she needed to deal with. Renovations. Paperwork. Meeting the detective. University.

Paperwork was no joke, but solving a mystery with almost no clues was the absolute worst.

Ah… so much to do.

“I see,” he looked at her, understanding in his eyes as he simply nodded.

“Well, I ought to get going before it starts getting dark out, Sanada-san,” she bowed to him, smiling politely. “Have a good evening.”

She walks past him, getting a better look at the group. What a colorful group, she thinks. Blue baseball cap guy, a lady in a pink sweater, a petite lady in green, a blonde foreigner, a teen in an orange sweater, and…

Kotone instinctively smiled, bowing politely at the group and glancing up at Mitsuru Kirijo, the most famous among the group. The heiress, or rather, the leader of the group. Wasn’t she her brother’s friend? If that’s the case, then everyone here must’ve been the group who showed up at her brother’s funeral.

So she was right. Akihiko Sanada was the same Akihiko-senpai her brother mentioned in passing.

“I take it that you and your friends have been taking care of my brother’s grave,” she bowed again. “Thank you for looking out for him even now.”

She bites her tongue, her mind cursing at them. How much did they contribute to her brother’s death? There’s been shady rumours of the Kirijo Group, they were wealthy and had more than enough influence to keep things hidden.

Kotone will never know.

Before they could say anything — surprise, shock, or just downright confusion written all across their faces — she takes her leave. Fists clenching, she bites her lip and wonders how she ought to go about this.

She can’t take any risks right now.

It was safe to assume that they were all dorm mates or or they were all part of the same club, otherwise they wouldn’t plan on visiting together with an almost carefree air to them.  It was also possible that they all happened to know her brother from separate instances and came together to grieve after his funeral. He’s mentioned quite a lot of names, so that’s her first step: rereading everything and writing down names and his relation to them. That’s already her plan for before the detective arrives.

She wasn’t going to demand answers from them. Not right now.

For starters, a cover-up was still in the realm of possibility with the Kirijo Group involved. And it was very obvious now that they might know something from how they acted at the funeral back then. They grieved for her brother, but it was different from all the other funerals that she’s been to. Back then, she thought nothing of it because her mind had blanked and she couldn’t focus.

But Kirijo recognized her after she thanked her, with a flash of guilt and understanding. Maybe she’s grasping at straws for something, but it doesn’t matter.

She will find out the truth.

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Not that I ship them cause Kenneth be stinky but do you have any hcs for Kenneth and Si?

ovo.... yeahhhhhhh yeah I do. Keep in mind while a lot of this IS based on canon I've tweaked it a bit so I was more...not so comfortable but okay with some of the changes I had to make towards Sugar Si to fit canon since, outside of canon Si would personally beat Kenneth within an inch of his life. Tw for being threatened with a gun down below and general toxic/unhealthy relationships, suicidal thoughts?:

They've been childhood friends and crushes since as long as both of them can remember, but with Kenneth coming to terms with how his father is/what's expected of him as the future "man" of the house, he kept his options open with Steph just in case until he decides in high school/college that they're "too much" and not as easy as to control or manipulate as Si. Though, due to how smart Steph is and how they would warn Si about their ideas that he might be cheating, Kenneth's part of the other half that causes a rift between the two of them. I'd say they got together at the end of high school/before college. Si was definitely a little more confident back then even with Kenneth making to so that no one took him from him in that time.

They both have that sense of codependency and comfort of having someone who has been "there" your whole life- but their relationship is still pretty strained before the events of day 1. Si can notice the changes in tone, the boredom they both feel together, but there is a part of him that loves Kenneth and misses when he was...well...more attentive of him and actually interested in him. I do like to think that there were genuine feelings there at one point, maybe when they were really young, but it's since then been tainted and now Si's more of an object of affection than in a romantic relationship. He does his best to keep Kenneth placated with him, because the alternatives are pretty uncomfortable and Kenneth has a habit of putting his gun on display when need be to make a point and get Si to stop pushing back against him. Kenneth's made SURE that Si knows that no one will ever love him in the same way he does- and he uses the fact that Si's a secret cat person to that advantage and mentions a lot how most people would just turn him into a lab experiment again and that he's LUCKY to have someone like Kenneth in his life.

I had a whole au that I was working on that I've kinda scrapped due to reasons, but it was essentially Kenneth threatening Si and everyone he had learned to really appreciate and be close to during their "break" after Sarah goes off at their wedding shower (yes, this includes Ellie) if he doesn't come back quietly- and they have an INCREDIABLY private wedding afterward when Si is back in his arms. It's horrible, emotionally breaking Si in his new life as a "Trophy Husband". He did try to run away once, but that ended up with him being locked in a dark room for a few ours while being tied up to "teach him a lesson", which I've drawn out below (ew old art lol)

Si often dissociates while he's in this relationship, often thinking about what could have been from the chats from when they were kids about what they would have been like when they grew up- wishing Kenneth was the gentle painter he had always dreamed about instead of the habitual cheater that his is. He mourns everything they could have been, but doesn't have the support system to get out of the marriage. His parents finally think he's worth something and Kenneth's mom is too brainwashed to get through, so he has no choice but to close in on himself and wish that Kenneth would just get mad enough and kill him, but he knows he wouldn't. At a certain point, even stops reacting to having the gun shoved in his face, much to Kenneth's dismay (and like...small concern that he's not going to ever admit to). That isn't to say that Si doesn't put on an act when he's being paraded around, but when they're alone he's completely shut down.

It isn't until Si is pushed to have a child by not only Kenneth, but also both of their parents to keep up appearances does Kenneth have more "ammo" for Si to respond and behave better, because no the fucker's not above threatening his own children. It's also one of the few times Kenneth sees Si smile anymore, and a part of that does kill him because he loves Si's smile and misses when it was directed at him and real- not the fake smiles Si puts on at dinner parties. He takes advantage of it however and sneaks pictures while pretending that Si is smiling because HE gave him the light in his life back with their son.

Ezra does eventually save Si from this situation after going through a long process of convicting Kenneth of treason (that's a whole thing wheeze, government connections and all) after gathering a lot of evidence and pulling some strings here and there, because Kenneth's mansion is secured with a lot of alarms and security once he has Si in his arms again to both keep him from escaping and to keep Ezra from sneaking in, but Si's left pretty broken after everything and it takes him a while to really break back out of his shell and recover.....not that Ezra is complaining now that Si's completely dependent on him. :3 But, in cute fashion, Ezra adopts Erick as his own child and is genuinely a better husband and father than Kenneth ever wished to be. However....Kenneth is still rotting in a cell- waiting for the day he can get revenge and get Si back....or die trying. :3

[corruptimles]

I'd love that actually, hearing other people's takes is fun !! (most of the time anyway)

Yeee okay so again I haven't watched the last 2 3 eps yet so who knows if any of these points would change but I'll expand on my last answer below

For some more context, here's which KR shows I've watched to compare to: Kuuga, Blade, Hibiki*, W, OOO, Fourze, Gaim, Ghost*, Ex-aid, Build,. Zero-One, Revice, Geats*, Amazons*, Black Sun*

* means I'm still in the middle of them. Everything else I've at least watched the first two episodes for. I've not seen any of Showa yet.

Spoiler warnings ahead for: Geats up to ep 46, some of Kuuga, Fourze, Ex-Aid, and Gaim

Warning this is a LONG answer

It's done some things that I wasn't expecting from KR, at least from a Reiwa/Heisei 2 style. Heisei 1 had its serious/scary moments since those leaned more into the J-Drama side but those were yearsss ago so seeing it in Geats was an interesting whiplash (SPOILER: referring to some scenes/revelations that surrounded child death and existentialism)

Neon Neon Neon Neon the girl ever

She was unknowingly wished into the world to replace a murdered daughter. Her dream to have real genuine love because of her unkind parents suddenly feels further out of her reach. She was created at the suffering of others, clearly it's almost selfish to want something for herself, right?

We are originally introduced with version of her backstory where she was in a hostage situation. A saved 8yr old Neon is returned to her family.

And then the scene gets re-contextualized with Beroba revealing that it was all fabricated, and the flashback replays anew, where Akari in a body bag is brought out instead. This is the most explicit visual an focus of a child death they've had in a main series lately. The scene of her running to her mom's arms is replaced with the dead silence of a mother in grief. Everything up to this point with Neon and her parent's actions are in a new horrifically understandable light. This leads into so so so much for Neon as she struggles w the meaning of her own existence, desires, and relation to the child she replaced.

(again I say lately because some v-cinemas can get violent, Amazons and Black Sun are violent, and Kuuga is a main series that had a horrific serial killer type situation and suicides but that was 20+ years ago. Closest thing for Heisei 2/Reiwa of a human death was Gentarou dying in Fourze because you watch as his heart stops beating. Other human deaths have like. a character fading into sparkles, going off screen, or turning into the monster and then exploding)

Her relationship with her parents? Complicated. Fascinating. Riveting. Really compelling. A suffocating mother that wants her daughter to stay at home, follow the rules, never stray from her, later revealed to be fuelled from nearly losing her daughter in that hostage situation. When she gets her memory back, realizing her memory of Akari was rewritten with this stranger, that's not her daughter because her daughter died 11 years ago. She yells at her, pushes her away, only to struggle again because isn't she just losing a daughter again? but that's not her daughter except she is but.,, and it's hard! She's not a good person, she's controlling, her grief doesn't justify that, but she's so complex. Her father? losing the ability to love the day he lost his daughter. He fabricates a new one, one for him and his wife to raise but for him, as a successor to the business, not as a daughter. To secure his position. But he was still mourning, really. He focuses on Neon as a means to an end because he's still mourning Akari.

And it's not simply that the Kurama family reunites after realizing their wrongs! It took time! It took discussion and breathing room. When Neon left, it's not that she fully cuts ties, because that's not that easy. Eleven years is still eleven years. She sees her mother one last time, her father in prison, laments how he is unable to love.They're all deeply traumatized and going through revelation after revelation. Neon doesn't hate them, she understands the situation. It's alien. It's not fair. The parents don't hate her. They sit and talk to each other about this! She's still a kid they brought into this world. A child that grew up with them for eleven years. That's eleven years they couldn't truly love her because of the loss of Akari, whether intentional or subconsciously. They explicitly discuss with each other that they owe love to Neon. They acknowledge Neon's desire for true love is because they've been depriving her of that. They could do better and they want to do better.

The Kurama family had a premise that was grave and emotional and the resolution was handled with a maturity that could've easily been done hand-waved in a lighter, shallower beat. It's not new for characters that'd done awful things to be forgiven rather easily in these kinda shows which like, I get it, but,, But no, the Kurama parents still remain complicated people that did wrong and know they did wrong and it's not an easy fix, especially for the mother's controlling behaviour because that's trauma, but they're given the chance to start that I like a whole lot

[deletes my even further paragraphs about why Neon is my favourite rider girl]

I do have nitpicks but not enough to really ruin the experience for me. To be vague, it's about an arc's relevance/writing,

The Among Us Dezastar arc feels the weakest by far. It just felt so strange to me. I know it was important to introduce new cast (Daichi) and I think challenge how much characters are willing to do to win (Neon) but it could've been less awkward?

There's whiplash from the reveal that everything was in fact, a show, that their actions are broadcast as entertainment, not to really save anyone to whatever this arc was They were just kinda, hanging around? Compared to how other revelations were treated in the future, this just felt so jarring to follow up with. I thought they were gonna lean into the reality show aspect more to get into even more characterization but...

After everything Ace, Keiwa, and Neon went through, especially the last episode's scene defeating Girori, into the introduction to the new DPG where they not just ignore Keiwa as a funnee, have the weird Girls vs Boys thing, or Girls vs Boys vs Keiwa because we bully Keiwa now, that was all just kinda weird

I know Neon kinda had to throw someone under the bus because she was the culprit but there were so many scenes that just shoved Keiwa around just cuz. The revelation he had about the Jyamato acting like dead participants was serious but they're like noooo sorry you're sus loser :/ At least Ace was neutral on the matter cuz he been-knew, but man...

a specific character's writing,

Keiwa again :( I love Keiwa! But out of our main 3 (Ace, Neon, Keiwa) he has the strangest writing by the last half

He has such a strong start but then gets pushed down when the other characters are the story focus. You can have the other characters in the spotlight without needing to belittle and make fun of another. From Dezastar Arc onwards, he got fairly side-lined until the my next few points

Him getting mad at Ace for his mother being the Goddess was just, so unprecedented? Again he's been with Ace for a long while now but the 180 to 'HOW COULD YOU?' when even Ace just learned this. Ace just learned his mother was suffering as the Goddess and Keiwa, notably empathetic and world peace Keiwa, immediately went to blame rather than any sort of consolation or attempt to understand the situation.

I won't say Keiwa is not allowed to be angry or complex but they had set him up for like 70% of the series as the good hearted one, to the point that his devil in the crossover movie was still him wanting peace for others

on a related note, he did it again with Michinaga! Michinaga blaming himself for killing Keiwa's sister despite not knowing is interesting, but Keiwa once again goes over the fact the other guy is feeling just as terrible. I'm not saying Keiwa would be okay with his sister dying but he immediately treats Michinaga as if he actively, knowingly, killed his sister If this wasn't after having the exact same level of reaction to Ace's mother, it probably wouldn't feel as bad, but it did, so it felt like a 'here we go again'

Which leads to his Bad Guy arc which is not inherently bad as a concept. It's might as well after the stress they've already added to him. A character that's full of fairly naive hope losing the last family he has, learning that the system he's in has taken away his loved ones again, getting devastated and desperate when he has to listen to them die again just when he thought he had his life back I love the idea that "i want everyone to be happy but that means me too, what's the point if it's not mine and my family's too'. It's a neat take on that type of desire! But the execution was not a descent or even escalation, it was just another flip like the last two - Clothing change. Not the worst. It happened to Mitsuzane, who went from good kid to delusional fratricide. It happened to Jin, it happened to Hiiro w/ Masamune, it's just cheesy wardrobe change. (I'm going to personally believe Kekera had a part in this because he was shaping Keiwa into the rider he wanted him to be) I do wish Keiwa kept the new hair actually, it was cute lol - New edgy af henshin. Stop cracking ya knuckles. Goofy. Not the worst again, but in combination w the clothes kinda takes me out of it -overall edgy af mannerisms and movements -treatment of Tsumuri Everything escalated, he became desperate, was being manipulated, so capturing Tsumuri and making her use her new creation powers is understandable. The idea of him actively taking advantage of her empathy to his pleas and tears (which were probably real tbh) to get a new item? That's sick of him but in both a cool and awful way. What I cannot handle as an active choice from Keiwa? The god. The freakign. The classic creepy face caress when Tsumuri was imprisoned. Why did he do that!? Literally no reason!! It was just weird!! He's depressed and angry, not automatically a creep???!?! It can't really be justified as him like, mentally breaking, because it doesn't add up w literally anything else he's done. Especially when he looks normal again. We're just gonna ignore that happened? He went so close to her face so much. It felt unnecessary. Who told him to do that. Whaddahell.

I firmly believe are other ways to portray a character being threatening and aside from the overdone touchy creep(tm) style.

So just all of that in combination and in such a short amount of time was over the top. If we had to do the bad guy arc, I think we could've had more of the crocodile tears thing he had. Sad, pathetic but manipulating/guilt-tripping. We don't have much bad guys like that.

and a more inconsequential thing like lack of some specific character designs.

where are Kamen Rider Lancer and Kamen Rider Garun's designs!!! where are they!!

It has a consistent belt/power-up gimmick and is surprisingly versatile despite people only using the same one or two belt type

Realized how often I use the word 'consistent' lol. It's just one of my pet peeves if rider/power systems are just, thrown away, and people start getting belts and forms up the wazoo w no decent explanation. [deletes a bunch of typing here] That's another few paragraphs worth of explanation so I'll shorten it to this: it makes it less tv show and more toy commercial, if that makes sense.

After discussing this further w a friend I realized these points ^ only exist because I was watching this fresh outta Revice and unfortunately Revice had frustrated me quite a lot so that's something I'll spare you of for now

So those are the ups and criticisms I can recall for now. I still would probably have Geats up there on my personal favourites though. Despite how much I love Fuwa and Aruto, I like the overall story for Geats over Zero-One out of the Takahashi stuffs. Ex-aid is still higher overall. I'll need to finish those last few episodes and movie before deciding where I'll place Geats in my overall KR list.

[lightcreators]

@earthssprout​

Initiating  seriously  an  partnership  with  the  Weasley,  solely  for  the  sake  to  got  an  open  door  for  passing  time  with  the  little  Ari,  was  an  reaction  he  wouldn’t  never  expected  realizing.  Neither,  if  he  was  enough  honest  with  himself,  imagining  himself  various  ways  to  befriend  Potter  meanwhile  meantime  an  smokescreen  ‘reputation’  —  though  no  lies  was  attached  over  the  actual  frustration  he  feel  around  Potter  …  but  it  was  slowly  removed  of  actual  rage  about  what  consequences  of  his  existence  will  brought.  Somewhere,  he  accepted  the  dramatic  irony  of  circumstances.  It  was  the  end  of  his  innocence,  it  was  the  end  of  eventual  possible  happiness,  it  was  the  end  of  the  existence  he  would  have  dream  about.  Hence,  on  her  presence,  she  was  that  single  innocence  fragment  he  wanted  to  protect  at  all  costs,  as  he  desired,  deep  inside  his  heart,  her  beloved  little  sister  suffered  no  suffering  coming  about  what  going  to  happens.  Which  was  …  difficult  when  the  Game  Master  he  wanted  to  becoming  was  inside  a  magic  school  and  when  the  concerned  sister  was  miles  away  !  Nevertheless,  he  had  some  advantage.  As  proud  as  he  was  on  his  family  name,  it  was  possibly  one  of  these  rare  opportunities  he  could  test  his  powers  as  a  heir  to  indirectly  sent  support  towards  them  …  as  he  could  flattering  Ronald  Weasley  with  his  generous  intellectual  aid  …  and  slowly  influence  best  pieces  generating  moves  he  desired.  By  the  moment  attachment  over  her  had  been  seriously  pondered,  how  he  honestly  wanting  her  be  happy  and  safe  …  he  had  been  ready  to  offering  an  special  Malfoy  bribe  on  Arthur  Weasley.  Something  he  considered  if  he  even  managed  to  enter  into  the  Ministry,  for  be  certain  they  will  have  a  wonderful  relationship,  when  no  worries  would  be  present  on  both  side  …  an  dream  of  a  future  he  wasn’t  even  sure  to  be  alive  for  see  it.  It  remained  one  of  his  most  delicate  goals  inside  his  mental  list.  How  doing  that  without  be  know  by  his  parents  or  without  an  information  leaking  was  another  problem  to  consider  …

There  was  an  consciousness  his  parents  would  end  up  asking  explanations.  If  he  could  hide  his  strange  dynamic  with  Potter  on  his  clement  aid  to  clean  that  mess  before  oncomping  troubles  …  he  wasn’t  certain  the  others  Weasley  members  family  would  just  …  shut  up  …  over  their  literal    enemy  turning  into  a  pure  cinnamon  roll  for  had  wishing  'adopting’  one  of  their  family  members.  He  was  too  young  to  experience  this.  She  was  too  young  for  understand.  It  would  be  probably  turn  even  more  emotionally  difficult  as  time  will  move  on,  however,  he  preferred  not  thinking  too  much  about  it  …  By  the  moment  he  take  one  particular  decision,  he  decided  to  mourn  his  entire  existence.  Regardless  if  circumstances  showing  him  he  would  be  ready  for  do  everything  for  her  happiness,  how  he  was  feeling  like  a  big  brother  who  needed  protecting  her  …  Gentle  amused  laugh  born  as  she  shinned  his  first  name.  He  was  so  easy  to  criticize  that  he  prefered  respond  with  derision.    ❝  Oh,  it’s  adorable,  one  day,  you  will  call  me  Yoyo,  nobody  will  understand  the  joke  !    ❞  Possibly  single  person  so  far  he  accepted  to  self-flagellate  own  rude  terms.  He  laughed,  as  he  wanted  enjoying  her  presence.  Appreciating  a  lot  the  effort  she  had  been  doing,  he  cannot  helped  showing  her  a  huge  grimace.  One  hand  caressed  her  hair.  Another  welcomed  greatly  her  gift.  As  strange  as  it  was,  he  didn’t  remember  childhood  times  when  he  had  been  searching  flowers  …  There  had  been  instead  serious  matters  on  the  ground.    ❝  D~r~a~c~o    ❞  He  repeated  slowly  his  name  by  insisting  over  every  letter  gently.    ❝  Besides,  there  is  no  need  of  a  sir~  Lord  could  be  better  for  the  praise.  Lord  Malfoy,  currently  a  student  of  the  magical  world,  waiting  to  receive  a  crown~    ❞  He  laughed.  He  was  half-kidding.  For  a  short  while,  he  could  still  offering  couple  of  foreshadowing  with  complete  innoncence,  without  feeling  the  need  to  bring  details  towards  his  indirect  confessions.    ❝  You’re  adorable  !  ~    ❞  His  gaze  was  always  over  how  comfortable  she  was  around  him.  How  he  wanted  avoid  by  all  costs  to  hurt  her  or  exposing  an  undelicacy  inside  his  gestures.  All  his  expression  was  filled  of  brotherly  love,  as  he  slowly  hug  her,  always  checking  if  this  was  fine  with  her.    ❝  Your  big  brother  will  make  sure  his  little  sister  will  always  be  happy  no  matter  what  !  No  one  will  stop  him  !  ❞

[variantia]

          “   ... You know ... I never really got to be a CHILD.   I never had a youth or parents or any of that.   The only thing that came close to it was my time with Himmel ; he was an adult, sure, but he was still young, and he was always brave ... but ... he was also friendly and playful.   When I wanted to do something silly like blow his braids around, while I was still a WIND SPIRIT, he just laughed and went along with it.   Sometimes he would catch me in his hands and tease that he’d tamed the wind !   Ehe ...   ”

          Even after hundreds of years, he still mourns his best friend.

          Even more than that, he mourns the fact that he never could have been NORMAL.   There was never, ever any hope of that for him.

          He never had what everyone else had.   He looks at his people, the families of Mondstadt, with pregnant women getting things ready for their babies and men who laugh as they roughhouse with their little boys and children who run around barefoot playing tag without a care in the world.

          And it feels so wrong, but he’s JEALOUS.

          This is the life he wanted for his people, safe and free and living their lives, but he wishes he could have had it himself too.   Aside from Himmel and Dvalin and, once in a while, the other Archons ... he’s always been alone in this world, from the day he became aware of his own existence.

          Sometimes he wonders if Archons can even die, and then he wonders if he’ll STILL BE ALONE when his being flickers out.

          “   I ... I’ve always thought ... it would be nice to be a part of someone’s family.   To be someone’s son, or brother, or father.   Dvalin is kind of like my son, but ... it’s still different to the way everyone else exists.   And I know that’s not a bad thing, to be different, but ... even so ... it feels like there’s some part of me that was left unsculpted.   I went from one tiny wind spirit among hundreds of others, to realizing that I had a self of my own, not knowing how old I even was ... to being a god with the weight of a nation on my shoulders.   But there’s something inside me that ... never got to be.   ”

          His voice cracks.   “   I-I don’t even know ... HOW OLD I ACTUALLY AM !   Do I start counting years since I was still a wind spirit and gained a consciousness of my own ?   Do I start counting years since I became Barbatos ?   But how long did I exist before I realized I wasn’t just a little puff of wind ?   How long did I exist being just a part of something instead of SOMEONE ?   How long ago did I start being a person ?   Was I ever really a child at some point ?   Was I ever supposed to be ?   ”

          He doesn’t know.

          He is so, so tired.

          “   I ... I don’t know.   I don’t ... I don’t even know WHO I AM.   ”

[former-ly-darth]

Completely unrelated to Star Wars

I’m so protective of the movie Onward

Have you guys seen that one? I remember sitting in theater with my sister and seeing the trailer for it. I was absolutely disgusted. My dad died when I was 1 year old. He died when my older sister was 3. That pretty much the same age range and Barley and Ian in the movie, and although my Dad was alive for a year, it’s still pretty much the same effect as him dying before I was born.

But I remember just being disgusted with the idea that someone had approved that movie. Parents don’t get to come back from the dead. I hated the movie before it even came out because I was just sure that it was going to be some hot garbage posing the question: “but what if we could bring them back for the day?” Well you can’t.

And then when it was released on Disney+ I watched it out of some passing curiosity. Within the first five minutes, I was in tears—not just crying. I was absolutely sobbing. I have many of my Dad’s shirts, and I like to wear them. They’re special to me. Any good story writer could have gleaned that from a little bit of research or simple observation of people, but when Ian runs into one of his dad’s old classmates and is hanging on to ever last detail he can get, that’s when I realized that this story wasn’t just written by someone who thought the story might be interesting. This was written by someone who had experienced the same kind of loss of a parent as Ian and Barley.

There are so many details I love about that movie, but particularly the end is what gets me (of course). When Ian says “I never had a dad.” I’ve said that about myself before, and I usually get the same reaction out of everyone: “you had a dad! He was an amazing man and he loved you so much!” As if saying that I never had a dad is some sort of disgrace to him. Yes, I have a father, and yes I do admire him and wish I could have known him, but I never had a dad to be there for me. I never had a dad. Simple as that. No one who hasn’t experienced the death of a parent at such a young age would understand that enough to write it in a story.

And the scene where Barley is actually getting to speak with their dad, actually getting closure, while Ian is trapped within the pile of rubble…I think that’s the most profound moment in the movie. You see Ian trying so hard to climb out of the debris, to get the chance to at least see his Dad and maybe wave hello. In the end, he is denied that chance. All he can do is watch though a gap in the rubble at a distance, no way of communicating with his father, only observing. If that had been Barley who had been forced to only watch, it would have been so much more devastating for him to accept that he had not gotten the chance to say goodbye. For Ian, it’s still emotional, but nothing has changed.

It’s like the memories I hear from others about my dad. They all got to experience those moments, and my sister was even old enough to vaguely remember a few, but the closest I can ever get to having memories will have to be settling for the stories I hear about my dad instead, like I’m observing from a third person’s perspective at a distance. That’s all Ian has ever been able to do either, and that’s okay. That’s enough.

I was 20 when I watched that film for the first time. I’ve had several phases throughout my life where I “mourned” my dad, but it was always really just the mourning of not having met him. After this film was the first time I went into what I feel like a true period of mourning my dad, experiencing the stages of grief, mourning the man that I have heard people tell stories about and remember fondly. It lasted about a week, and although I was miserable, it was cathartic. The grief I’d been carrying around for 19 years and pretending to ignore was finally addressed and I was able to let go of it.

I’ve heard people say that Onward wasn’t really anything special to them, and I understand that. Dan Scanlon wrote the story for a very specific audience, and although it’s not as upbeat as many other Pixar films, its message is powerful. I just really treasure Onward for what it has given me.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'm pretty sure this is prompt four. Jiang Cheng/Qin Su - Jin Rusong as heir to Lotus Pier

ao3

Jiang Cheng heard the news in pieces, scraps of wild rumor and gossip repeated a hundred times over, but he still refused to believe it until he actually saw the official announcement.

Jin Guangyao had divorced his wife and sent her back to her father’s house, along with their son.

“Is he insane?” Jiang Cheng asked his second in command, who only shrugged helplessly. “Putting aside the fact that I’m certain that he loves her madly, putting everything else aside, Sect Leader Qin is influential and powerful, and a strong supporter of his father – no matter what happened between them, surely someone as pleasant and compromising as Jin Guangyao could find a way to work it out?”

Jiang Cheng had only met Qin Su a few times, always at Jin Guangyao’s side. He’d heard about how she’d fallen for the dashing young man that turned out to be Jin Guangyao and sworn to marry him, no matter the obstacles; he’d heard how they’d managed to overcome every storm, fight the wind and rain, and eventually made it to their marriage bed.

They’d even had a son together, little Jin Rusong; he was Jin Ling’s best playmate.

And Jin Guangyao was kicking him out? Kicking her out?

Absurd!

Who did he think he was?

And yet, contrary to Jiang Cheng’s expectations, Sect Leader Qin did not immediately explode, or, rather, within a few days, he did, but not in the way anyone had expected. Everyone had joked that he would find Jin Guangyao and strangle him, and he really did physically attack someone – but not Jin Guangyao.

He attacked Jin Guangshan instead.

It was as if he’d gone mad, red-eyed like Nie Mingjue in the throes of his qi deviation; he’d charged at Jin Guangshan, his old friend of thirty years or more, right in the middle of Jinlin Tower, and swiped at him viciously with his sword, cutting a gash in his chest as the surprised Jin sect leader darted back too slowly to wholly dodge.

What could be done? The Lanling Jin sect guards could not stand silently by with such provocation – they counter-attacked at once, and Sect Leader Qin did not survive. A little later, and it was discovered that he had never intended on it: his sword was laced with poison.

Sect Leader Qin died, but he took Jin Guangshan down with him the underworld.

The rumor mill exploded.

Everyone was talking about Sect Leader Qin’s motivations – the suspicious timing of the divorce – Jin Guangyao’s now inevitable ascension to the seat of Sect Leader Jin –

Only Jiang Cheng thought about Qin Su, who should have been ascending right beside him. It had been her father that had died, after all.

Laoling Qin was far enough away from Lanling Jin that they were still mostly independent, and they were close enough to the Qinghe Nie that Jiang Cheng could pretend that he’d only made a short detour on a visit directed towards Nie Huaisang, that notorious purveyor of gossip; luckily enough, Nie Huaisang remembered their old friendship and was more than happy to help cover his tracks.

When Jiang Cheng arrived, the house was already decked out in mourning. Qin Su greeted him, eyes red and swollen from tears.

“I’m sorry,” Jiang Cheng said awkwardly, then flinched when he realized he probably should have said something in greeting first – they really didn’t know each other well enough to skip over all that.

Nevertheless, Qin Su nodded, forgiving him the slip-up before he could even retract it. She was gracious and gentle, kind and quiet, economical and thoughtful – a consummate hostess. The wife of Jin Guangyao could not afford to be anything less.

Former wife.

Jiang Cheng’s gaze danced around the room, searching for something to say, and then abruptly he noticed – “There are two deaths in your household?”

“My mother took her own life,” Qin Su said, her voice dull. She tried to suppress it, but tears gathered in her eyes again. “Shortly before…”

Whatever it was that Jin Guangshan had done that had driven Sect Leader Qin mad, it had involved his wife, Jiang Cheng thought, and then abruptly he turned pale as he put two and two together. He’d never doubted that Jin Guangyao had adored Qin Su, so why would he divorce her?

Unless…

Jin Guangshan had a reputation.

Qin Su laughed a little, a bitter sound. “Everyone will know, soon enough,” she said wisely, seeing that Jiang Cheng had figured it out. “I don’t blame my former husband at all; he acted as he ought to in every respect. It’s only my poor A-Song…I can’t imagine what his life will be like from now on.”

Jiang Cheng looked helplessly at her. To lose not only your parents, one right after the other, but your husband, your reputation, and next even your son…

“Marry me,” he said suddenly, and Qin Su stared at him. “If Sect Leader Jin’s assault were recent rather than ancient, it would have provoked the same result. The only reason anyone might suspect the truth is because of the timing of your divorce – if there’s a reason given for that, people won’t think twice about it.”

His words had come out all in a rush, smashing together like stones tossed around by a waterfall; he hadn’t thought of the idea until right this moment.

“Are you suggesting I admit to adultery?” she asked. Her eyes were as round as the full moon.

Jiang Cheng shrugged, a little helpless. “Your reputation is gone,” he pointed out, wishing he knew how to be kind or tactful. “Adultery or incest – it’s the same either way for you. But for A-Song…”

To be the son of an adulterous woman was disgraceful, but such things happened and people generally looked the other way, as long as the real father was powerful enough.

It was better than being a child of incest.

“But what of your reputation?” she asked. “Sect Leader Jiang, you can’t. I won’t let you injure yourself for my sake.”

“Not for you,” he said, though maybe it was, just a little bit. The loss of your parents, the loss of your whole life, everything you’d ever believed – who could understand that better than him? “For A-Song. He’s Jin Ling’s best friend.”

Qin Su had always been kind to Jin Ling, he thought. She didn’t need to be, could just tolerate him the way most people in Jinlin Tower did, but she really seemed to like him…

It occurred to him suddenly that Qin Su met all of his requirements for a bride: a beauty from a good family, obedient, economical, with a mild personality who wasn’t too loud and wasn’t too talkative, who was good to Jin Ling…

“How’s your cultivation?” he asked abruptly. “Do you know how to cook?”

“Mediocre,” she said, blinking at him. “And I’m better at baking, I think. I like making sweets.”

“Good,” Jiang Cheng said, relieved. “That’s – good. I’m glad. Will you marry me?”

Qin Su bit her lip. “Let me think about it?”

Thoughtful, he added to the list. Cautious, not reckless.

“Take all the time you need,” he said.

She came back to him two shichen later. “What happens to A-Song?” she asked.

“I’ll adopt him as my own,” Jiang Cheng said. “Or he can keep the surname Jin, if you prefer. And if Lianfeng-zun agrees, which I think he will – it’s his birthright, after all.” Too many times over. “Jin Ling lives with me sometimes; they can grow up as cousins, the way they should.”

Qin Su nodded, lips trembling a little. “You won’t regret this?”

“I might,” Jiang Cheng admitted. “But I’m probably not going to marry anyone else, and I’m willing. Are you?”

“I am,” she said, and smiled at him. Her eyes were still red, and the smile shaky, but it was something. “Thank you. I…no, never mind.”

“If we’re going to be married, you’re going to need to learn to ask things of me,” he reminded her.

Qin Su wiped her eyes. “Yes, but there’s asking reasonable things, and then there’s asking to alert my former husband before we announce our engagement.”

“Oh, no, that’s a great idea,” Jiang Cheng said, immediately relieved. “If there’s one thing Lianfeng-zun knows, it’s how to manage an announcement of that sort of magnitude. We should definitely tell him.”

Qin Su’s smile this time was stronger.

Nie Huaisang pulled a few strings and got Jin Guangyao to come over to the Unclean Realm, and when he walked in and saw Qin Su, he flinched. Jiang Cheng could see on his face that he still loved her, and he felt bad for him – not enough to stop, but still.

“I see,” Jin Guangyao said, hearing the plan. His expression was surprisingly neutral – thoughtful, but not as upset as Jiang Cheng would have expected. “It’s not a bad idea. And you don’t even need to admit to adultery, either.”

“We don’t?” Jiang Cheng asked, surprised.

“We can say that my marriage with A-Su broke down after my father’s actions - painting them as recent, rather than ancient,” Jin Guangyao explained. “I didn’t feel I could oppose him, she had no choice but to do so – it was an irrevocable breach. You came to comfort her, having met her during your visits with Jin Ling, and her sect is in need of support…you can say it developed naturally from there. It might not work to quell the rumors, of course, but it would at least provide a way to save face in public…Leave it to me.”

“Thank you, A-Yao,” Qin Su said quietly, and he smiled at her, pained.

“Just be happy,” he said to her, then looked at Jiang Cheng. “Treat her well.”

“I will,” Jiang Cheng promised, and took her by the hand. “I swear.”

-

It was a few years later. Nie Huaisang sat beside Jiang Cheng.

“I think he killed my brother,” he said, playing with his fan. “I’m going to destroy him.”

Jiang Cheng stared at the newest memorial tablet in the Lotus Pier, his hands clenched into fists with knuckles turned white.

“Good,” he said, voice savage. “I’ll help.”

[routeweek]

Route Week Day 7: Just Some Headcanon’s

I wrote some headcanon’s for each route! 

Reko/Kanna Lives

- While Sara was in the Room Of Rubble with Shin’s body, Reko was quick to hug Kanna and reassure her that she isn’t a burden. She held the young girl until Sara returned. 

- In his final moments, Shin took a lot of comfort in the fact that Reko would be there to look after Reko. He knew she’d be safe with her. 

- Kanna is used to sharing a room with Shin. With him gone, Reko decides to share a room with Kanna to keep up the routine. 

- Sometimes, Sara passes by Reko and Kanna and just smiles. She’s truly happy that they are okay, and that her allies are still with her. 

- After they escape the death game, Reko often goes with Kanna to the graveyard. She’s a great source of comfort for the girl who’s mourning, and she always appreciates Kanna laying flowers down for Alice.

More Undercut

Massacre Ending 

- Sara spends months after the death game basically unresponsive. Nao take’s care of Sara like she promised, but she can’t help but be a bit resentful that no one is there to offer her emotional support. 

- The two girls go back and forth between being super dependent on each other, and not being able to stand each other. It’s day by day, and that leads to an unstable environment. 

- Nao doesn’t regret what happened. She wishes that things could have gone down differently, but she’s glad to be alive. Sara on the other hand would likely take it back. The guilt is a lot for her to handle, and she thinks about the people she killed everyday. 

- Nao paints a portrait of everyone who died. All of them are doing something that would make them happy. Joe and Gin are playing tag. Keiji and Q-Taro share a drink. Shin and Kanna read a book together. Reko and Alice play the bongos. Kai cooks, and her dear professor Mishima waits to eat his creation. 

- Nao and Sara go their separate ways eventually. They have some contact, but it’s too much to see each other all the time. For them to move on, they had to let each other and their last remnant of the death game go. They hope the group wouldn’t be disappointed in them.

Alice/Shin Lives

- Alice saying “I couldn’t vote for anyone’s little sister.” lives in Shin’s mind. He really does consider Alice to be a good person, and has no ill will for him despite everything.

- Shin has a newfound sympathy for Alice as well. He knows exactly what he’s feeling now, and honestly applauds him for holding it together so well.

- After checking on Sara, Alice snuck away from the group to find Shin. He was the only one to speak to him the night Kanna died, and he apologized for the pain Shin was feeling. Alice knows the grief well, and decided to sit with Shin until dawn so he wasn’t alone.

- Alice calls Shin “Shin” in his head instead of “Sou”. He can’t group those men into being the same person.

- Keiji thought of handcuffing Shin to Alice to keep him contained. Alice shut that thought down though.

Alice/Kanna Lives

- After the death game, Kanna calls Alice “My big brother”. It make’s Alice over the moon every time. 

- Alice makes a silent promise to himself that he’ll watch over Kanna in Shin’s place. He would want someone to look out for Reko if the tables were turned. 

- Kanna once called Alice “Shin” by accident. They both froze, and Kanna apologized. Alice didn’t really know what to say, so he just kept quiet. However he thinks about that interaction quite often. 

- Alice see’s a part of Reko in Kanna. Specifically that kinder side that he didn’t get to know long. He see’s Kanna as a second chance in a way, and he’d do a lot to protect her. 

- Alice often hangs around as Kanna’s babysitter after the death game. He watches her whenever her parents are out, or she just needs a friend. Even though Kanna’s at an age where she could be alone, she values Alice's company so much that she never says anything.

Reko/Shin Lives

- Reko was the first to find Sara passed out in the room of rubble. She was actually looking for Shin to check on him. As much as he hates the guy, losing a sibling isn’t easy. However all of those sympathetic feelings went out the window when seeing the evil Joe AI. 

- While Reko feels terrible for Shin, she’s also willing to fight him at any moment. She wonders if he’ll try to strike against the others for revenge, and if that happened she would stop it. 

- Reko hears Shin scream one night. She knows that he had a nightmare about Kanna, and debate’s calming him down. She almost knocks on his door, but Alice’s loner nature stops her. While growing up, Alice always needed to be alone when he was having a rough day. She assumes that Shin may very well be the same. 

- Despite their complicated dynamic, Reko genuinely wants Shin to get out of the death game. If Kanna died for him, it at least needs to be worth it. 

- Shin sometimes thinks of talking to Reko about Kanna. He knows that they both share good memories of her, and wishes they could talk about them. However, he knows they aren’t very close, and therefore never brings it up. Though Reko would’ve liked to talk about her.

[asterlark]

ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey

eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele

he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams

he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)

(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)

the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in

so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented

(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)

jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense

“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:

“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)

justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)

adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)

larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons

“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is

bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks

jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”

but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term

then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase

of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing

he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot

his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice

the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look

SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs

and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little

he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)

they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them

they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)

around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates

THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun

bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much

and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck

so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”

spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win

jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation

speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries

but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty

they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs

jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now

and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake

he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)

i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)

the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit

jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist

when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward

jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award

his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"

obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"

the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes

r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up

that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics

and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time

summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games

bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)

senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc

however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital

he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away

eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it

he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song

with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom

meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in

and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube

but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming

bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school

luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out

when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes

(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)

their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride

then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over

after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship

they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!

they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢

(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)

bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)

when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.

what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.

his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).

and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.

jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"

and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.

the end :)

[griffintail]

Finding a Forgotten Memory

Summary: A happy ending for this post and this one. 

Pairings: Parental! Ghostbur x F! Child! Reader

Tommy x F! Child! Reader

Warnings: ANGST! But there’s a happy ending.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Tommy swept his gear on the floor as he paced the length of his bedroom in his hotel, warm tears rolling down his face.

         He remembered the day Ghostbur had stormed into his home, balling, his tears creating smoke, that he couldn’t find his little blue. He had assured the ghost, she was fine. Probably hiding or she wandered a little farther than she should have.

         Grabbing his sword in case the search took too long, he followed Ghostbur into his sewer he’d moved back into after Tommy’s freedom from exile. Inside, Tommy had a few doubts as he looked at the bit of wreckage around the place.

         “Did you do this looking for her Ghostbur?” Tommy asked, sitting a barrel upright.

         “N-No. I-I s-s-s-he…” The ghost couldn’t form a coherent sentence.

         “I’ll look outside. Stay here in case she comes back alright?”

         Ghostbur nodded rapidly, clutching onto an already full piece of blue. Tommy nodded before leaving the sewer calmly then booking it to Phil’s.

         “Phil!” Tommy shouted, slamming the door open, startling the man and his crows. “There’s something wrong with Ghostbur.”

         “What? What’s wrong?” Phil immediately stood up.

         Tommy explained the situation and they both gathered everyone they could, a search party formed. (Y/N)’s name was shouted into the wind as everyone separated into many corners of the Dream SMP land and the L’Manberg land. Even people like Sapnap and Punz helped them look in their more familiar areas.

         But they couldn’t find the little girl and mobs had started to come out. Tommy, Phil, Techno, Fundy, and a few of L’Manberg citizens continued their searches. Techno and Phil went into more in-depth searches or rather questionings. Yet…there was no word of her…

         That was the night Phil fabricated the lie.

         “We’ll only use it till we figure out what happened. Ghostbur will have to believe it because Fundy refuses to talk to him but he likes (Y/N).” Phil assured the younger as he fidgeted in worry.

         They’d try to figure out what happened in the next few days!

         …

         Then a few days turned into a few weeks. And a few weeks turned into two months…

         They’d lost hope and even though there was no message on the walkies, they knew the magic had a range and (Y/N) …she had to be gone…They didn’t know what happened, could only speculate.

         Time had to move on and people grieved, Tommy taking it hard as the little girl had helped him through hell without knowing. She was part of his family and she had made him smile when he needed it the most, not even knowing he had needed her little games and laughs. He wished he had those when he had gone through the final battle with Dream, yet even after his victory, he continued to grieve and now seethe as Dream dangled a fruit of revival in front of him.

         Listening to the same horse shit, day after day…

         They had told Ghostbur once or twice in the beginning but Phil told everyone to keep up the lie when the ghost would just break completely, unable to function at all. Tommy couldn’t handle it anymore that Ghostbur didn’t remember the one thing he thought the ghost would never forget. That he wasn’t grieving like him. The little girl only helped Tommy through a rough time but that same little girl was Ghostbur’s entire world! It wasn’t fair to her memory that Ghostbur simply forgot the end of it!

         He knew the ghost couldn’t help it and that the ghost would break if he actually remembered but it frustrated him to no end because Tommy didn’t forget and broke at his own memories and he couldn’t live like this anymore! He…he couldn’t let the little girl be gone any longer…

         He looked at the prison from his window, before clenching his hands. He needed to pay an “old friend” a visit.

         …

         Tommy stood on the other side of the netherite blocks as the lava behind him finished cascaded down and the barrier was gone between him and the smiley masked man.

         “Tommy! What do I owe the pleasure?” Dream asked, spreading his arms as he laughed.

         “Business. I want that revive book Dream.”

         “The revive book? You know I can’t just give that to you Tommy. I won’t revive Wil—”

         “Not…Wilbur,” Tommy muttered.

         Yes, the boy wanted his older brother back but he wanted this little girl back first.

         “Not Wilbur? Who would you want? Not Schlatt.” Dream mocked and Tommy clenched his jaw.

         “Just shut up you bastard and listen!” Tommy shouted and Dream stopped, watching. “You’re going to bring (Y/N) back or I’ll never visit you again and we both know how much you want me to visit.”

         Dream stood there before grinning wickedly behind his mask. “(Y/N)? Huh. You’re going to have to remind me who they are…”

         “YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO SHE IS!” Tommy snapped, doing his best to keep his tears in. “She was the little girl you hated because she made me happy during exile!!”

         “Oooh, right. Ghostbur’s kid.” He chuckled, turning from him. “How’s he doing?”

         Tommy restrained himself with great difficulty.

         “Such a bad memory, his child going missing, I’m sure he’s practically been destroyed…”

         Tommy felt the warm tears in the corner of his eyes as he took deep breaths.

         “Or did he finally forget the little brat?”

         He lost it.

         He pinned Dream to the obsidian wall and barked at his smiley mask.

         “YOU’RE GOING TO BRING HER BACK RIGHT NOW YOU GREEN FUCKING PRICK!”

         Then Tommy saw his wicked grin under his mask.

         “I’d love to Tommy, but I can’t bring back what’s living.”

         “W-What?” Tommy sputtered, confused.

         Dream laughed as Tommy let him go.

         “You never saw the message because there was no message to have! It wasn’t my goal after all to kill her.”

         Tommy’s world stopped before his heart pounded. She…She was still alive?! But Dream had been in prison for three months after they finally decided she was gone. She…She wouldn’t have survived…

         “And now that you know, the clock is ticking Tommy. Will you lose her and have to deal with another ghost? Of course, I can make it simple. Let me out and I’ll give her right back.”

         Tommy shook. He had mourned for her. He had stopped…looking for her…

         Shaking his head, Tommy stepped behind the barrier, it going up, shocking Dream. No, Tommy needed to make this right.

         “I’ll find her. Suck it, green boy.” Tommy snarled, before stepping onto the bridge.

         “YOU WON’T! SHE’LL DIE BEFORE YOU FIND HER TOMMY! ONLY I KNOW WHERE SHE IS AND SHE’LL STARVE SLOWLY!”

         But Dream underestimated Tommy’s determination…

         …

         “PHIL!” Tommy shouted on the walkie as he sprinted back for his hotel for his gear.

         “Don’t talk to me, Tommy! How could—” Phil started to yell at him.

         “(Y/N) IS STILL ALIVE!”

         “W-What?” Phil stopped.

         “I went to Dream to revive her and he admitted to taking her. She’s still alive. We need to find her now!”

         Tommy slid slightly as he got to the entrance of the hotel before dashing in.

         “H-How, what?!”

         “IT’S A LONG STORY NOW WE NEED TO LOOK! We need to every fucking place Dream’s ever been!”

         They had figured she had been kidnapped. They just hadn’t known by who. Dream had been prime suspect, but even then, he had an alibi; and at the time, they couldn’t exactly search the most powerful man’s places.

         “O-Ok. Ok! I’ll get everyone!”

         Tommy grabbed his gear and went to meet with everyone else. The search was back months later but they had new information. Dream was tricky with his hiding and everyone had to be clever as they went into different corners of the world…

         Tommy didn’t sleep for two days as they searched everywhere they could as his thoughts went rampant. What if Dream was just messing with him again? Lying to get him to let him out! What if Tommy had just given everyone false hope…

         Then as the sun just breaking into light purples on a new day, Tubbo cried out on the walkie.

         “WE FOUND SOMETHING! WE FOUND SOMETHING IN DREAM’S BUNKER!”

         Fear didn’t even grip Tommy as he sprinted for the nether portal. Tubbo, Ranboo, and a small crew of others took to the task of taking the bunker physically apart in hopes to find anything.

         Tubbo justified by saying this was where Dream had held his biggest cards. He wouldn’t have kept (Y/N) too far from there.

         Tommy stumbled into the room as he saw Ranboo standing back to be there if someone got stuck as Tubbo, Foolish, and Jack carefully digging around a mechanism they had destroyed. Tommy pulled out his own pick and joined them.

         After some time, they managed to crumble away stone into a hallway.

         “I’ll go,” Tommy muttered.

         He hated the tight space of the hall but he had to know and if it was a trap, he wanted to take it. Carefully going down the hall with his axe instead, he didn’t go too far before he found a door. Opening it slowly, he found a plain room and…a little girl in a dirty blue hoodie spinning around bored in the room.

         “(Y/N)!” Tommy choked on a sob before dashing into the room and hugging her tightly.

         She yelped in surprise before grinning widely. “Uncle Tommy! I told Dream you’d visit!”

         Tommy cried as he squeezed her. She was so naïve as always. She hadn’t changed in the missing months…He missed his niece so much.

         “Your crying! I don’t have any blue.” She said, looking around the empty room.

         “I-I’m ok (Y/N).” He laughed quietly. “They’re happy tears…but there’s a ghost that would love to see you…”

         She gasped. “I missed daddy! Is he here?”

         “No…but I know he’d love to play a game of hide and seek…”

         “Ok, do you have any food? The tall man hasn’t brought me any.” She explained as he stood up.

         He frowned in confusion before his eyes went wide. The person that had been helping Dream while he was in prison.

         “(Y/N), what did she look like?” Tommy asked quickly.

         She shrugged. “He was very tall and he wore funny clothes and he wore a mask.”

         “Like Dream’s?”

         She shook her head. Tommy frowned deeply. Who the hell had been helping him?

         “I don’t have food on me but I’m sure Ghostbur will gladly give you dinner.”

         She grinned as he carried her out. The others cheered seeing the pair, sharing hugs with her as Tommy continued to hold her. Everyone over the radio celebrated as Ranboo made the announcement. Phil nearly collapsed in happiness when they got to L’Manberg, relieved he hadn’t lost another child he had helped care for.

         Reluctantly, before Tommy brought her to the sewer, Tommy told her not to tell Ghostbur about her “trip”. It was a little secret between the two of them. She promised not to tell and Tommy brought her into the sewer, seeing Ghostbur was doing his daily morning to find his little blue. He hid (Y/N) in a barrel he knew Ghostbur checked before rushing out.

         He waited by the door as he heard a cry of laughter, smiling lightly before leaving, his work done.

         “There you are little blue! It’s breakfast time, not time to play hide and seek!” Ghostbur laughed, hugging the little girl tightly, not really understanding why he had before he gasped hearing her stomach rumble. “You’re starving! Let’s have a big breakfast!”

         She giggled, agreeing with him as she snuggled into him.

         “Your hoodie is getting dirty, we’ll wash that before we go visit Phil and Tommy, ok?”

         “Ok, daddy. I love you.”

         “I love you too my little blue. I love you so much.” He muttered without thinking, nuzzling the top of her hoodie.

[erwinsvow]

𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.

summary: he wasn't always alone. in fact, there was a time when levi had you.

warnings: angst, fluff, mentions/description of injury and patching up, levi needs sleep

author's note: been in the works for a while because i couldn't figure out what i wanted to do, but this takes place after levi & zeke's conversation and there will be an angsty part two, i hope everyone likes it! it doesn't really make much sense but bear with me :)

listening to: don't let me go

“I bet you’re not popular with the ladies. Don’t act like you know about someone’s feelings.”

He pauses, feeling his heart skip a beat.

“I know. And I was… popular enough.”

He lets his mind take him back, back a time before everything in the world was so messed up. When he knew what his responsibilities were, and when there were clear orders to follow. He can’t seem to recall when everything went straight to shit. It feels like it’s been a long time coming.

He knew he was screwed years ago, when he was trying to stitch up the deep gash on his shoulder by himself, sitting in his quarters with a bowl of warm water and bloody bandages. You had been helping the others, a traumatized recruit with a concussion and broken leg, courtesy of the fifteen meter that had overwhelmed him.

There were a few others too, especially a familiar face that seemingly always needed your assistance after a mission. He wondered just how many times the boy—because that’s all he is, a boy, and that’s all you are, a girl—could get away with the same old ruse.

Regardless, he wouldn’t be visiting you tonight. Never mind that the cut he’s trying to nurse by himself is nearly impossible to properly reach, and that he feels dizzy from consistent bleeding and lack of energy in his body. The alcohol he ingested to calm his nerves doesn’t really do anything, either, since there isn’t nearly enough of the stuff in his room to actually have an impact.

He’s going to crash soon, he knows, and even though sleep always evades him, he just wanted to get this wrapped up and lay down without making a bloody mess everywhere. He releases a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. The very thought of you is enough to tense up every muscle in his body, and the idea of you being alone with that idiotic, improper recruit makes his fist tighten around the needle. Sewing himself up tonight is a lost cause. He finally decides a bandage, no matter how bloody it might become, will have to do.

He stands up, slowly because he doesn’t want to pass out from a head rush, when there’s a knock on the door. He groans a little too loudly at the sound of it. He doesn’t feel like talking to anyone tonight, especially in this condition, wearing a torn scrap of a shirt and blood trapped underneath his nails.

“Who is it?” he calls out harshly, wondering if maybe they’ll just leave if he sounds scary. The other scouts knew he didn’t like to be bothered, and wouldn’t have come unless there was an emergency. If it was Hange she would have barged in already, and he would have recognized Erwin’s heavy footsteps from down the hall. No, he knows who it is. He just wishes that he’s wrong.

“It- It’s me. Petra said you were hurt earlier and that it looked bad. I just wanted to make sure it was okay…” Your soft, hesitant voice trails off, and he knows how much courage it took for you to knock on his door.

What he doesn’t know is that there was no way you were falling asleep tonight without making sure Levi was okay, no matter how angry he would get at you for bothering him at night.

You’re bracing for that reaction when the door opens, but when your wide eyes meet his tired grey ones, you feel yourself melt and all the words in your head disappear. There’s only one fragment of a thought left, the fact that Levi’s bleeding, and a lot, at that. You don’t even wait for his permission to step inside, suddenly energized by anger and mumbling to yourself as you set down your supplies and rummage through them.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” he questions quietly. He tries to line his voice with steel like he always does, but the facade is fading with every passing minute.

“I have to clean out your wound, captain, before something festers. If you had told me about this, say, right when we got back, it would have been fine by now, but now I have to rush because you’re too proud to ask for help-” You still and silence yourself.

It was out of line to enter without permission, but this is something else all together. Caring too much is one thing, you know, but insubordination is not tolerated, especially not by Levi.

You pick up a clean needle and thin silk thread that you need to patch up the wound, while searching for the jar of boiled water you need to clean it out first. Alcohol would work too, and you can smell it in the air, but you can’t find the words to ask for it.

Levi’s hands are unusually still, you know because you always notice them, and it’s a stark contrast to the way you’re shaking right now. It’s strange, because you stitched up a handful of others earlier today, and you were completely fine. Even Gunther, who you had always thought was handsome and could make you blush with an off-hand smile, never incited this kind of reaction from you.

You’re silently praying that Levi doesn’t comment on the tremor, but since you’re about to dig a sharp point into his shoulder to tie the skin back together, it would be idiotic if he didn’t say something. You turn to look at him, but it feels like he’s not even there.

His head is hanging down, propped up by the single functional arm, as the other one continues to bleed. You know it’s painful and that he should be saying something, something that makes you stutter and stumble over your words like he always makes you, but he’s just silent.

“Well, get on with it then. If that’s really why you came here this late.” His voice makes you tremble even harder.

There’s so much you try hard at. You try to be the best soldier you can be, even though both you and your superiors know you weren’t meant for this. Sometimes you can fool your fellow soldiers, and the handful of people you can call your friends, and with a few years under your belt, it seems like it’s getting easier to live this life. But you know deep down that it’s not. The one person who always sees right through it is Levi, though.

It’s part of the reason why you’re such a damn mess around him, because there’s no reason to present a false veneer if he knows the truth. You’re not a real soldier, not a real fighter, and you’re more useful as a medic stitching people up than anything else.

And yet, it’s always him who saves you. Him, who makes sure that any threat in between you and the scout you’re trying to rescue from the brink of death is eliminated. Him, that keeps one eye on the target and one eye on your back just in case. And every time, every goddamn time you need to be rescued, he rescues you.

But now, with his head hanging low and any semblance of not knowing why he always saves you gone, it feels your chance to repay him has finally arrived. The shaking stops when you go to sit down near him. Maybe it’s the sudden rush of energy in your body, but you find yourself unbuttoning his shirt to remove whatever remains of the cloth.

His body tenses further, but he doesn’t stop you, and he doesn’t say anything. You’re as gentle and careful as you can be, and once you’re successful, you drop the mangled shirt on the floor. Taking the water, you pour it over the wound as Levi releases a soft hiss at the feeling, for which you’re apologizing before you can even realize the words have left your mouth. He doesn’t say anything, but his shoulder relaxing encourages you to keep going.

You take your time, trying to clean off all the blood you can. You think he’ll protest when you pick up his hands, and wash those too, but he doesn’t. It’s not until you run your own hand over his softly, squeezing the top of it because you don’t have any words to express the thoughts going through your mind, that he finally speaks up.

“Thank you.”

It’s so quiet, you could swear that you had imagined it. He doesn’t look up to meet your eyes like you wish he would, but a smile forces its way onto your face regardless. You focus on the hard part now; stitching up your captain and making sure your work doesn’t leave him with any scars. You focus on your technique, fingers working nimbly and mind focused on this, and for a short time, it doesn’t feel like you’re with your captain, your superior. It just feels like being there with Levi.

All the while, his brain is working overtime to figure out why you’re like this. Why you’re treating him so carefully and gently, when you have no reason to. He doesn’t pick favorites, and even if he did, you wouldn’t be anywhere near that list. You’re not the fastest, you’re not the most lethal, and in fact, he could count on one hand your titan kills and assists. You help people. You save people. But most of the time, you’re just recovering a half-dead soldier so that their body can be buried at home and not forced to remain out there, alone. You’re just there so that parents can have a grave to mourn at, instead of an empty tomb.

He doesn’t treat you better than anyone else, and most of the time assigns you more cleaning duties than the others. You always take it and never complain, something else that he always wonders about. He had come to the conclusion it was because he’s saved your life countless times, and the fact that he isn’t going to let up soon. So you take everything he gives you with a polite smile. And for some goddamn reason, he can’t get that smile out of his head, no matter how hard he tries. You don’t even know how you make him feel; like he’s special and that he deserves these attentions.

A particularly painful turn of the needle makes him flinch, and brings him back to reality. You’re apologizing again, murmuring how you’re almost done, but he doesn’t want you to leave yet. He lets his mind flicker over how you’re always apologizing, and how much he just wants to tell you that you don’t have to, not for anything. Not for having to come and save you, not for stitching him up, not for trying to fix him.

You let out a sharp breath once you finish, getting back up to fetch a dressing, but his hand grabs yours before you can get too far. Levi looks up, grey eyes full of an emotion you can’t exactly pinpoint, one you have never seen before from him.

“Will you stay a little longer?” And just like that, everything in the world seems to fall into place.

“Of course. Let me just wrap it up, first. I’ll stay as long as you want.” You’re surprised at yourself for finding the words so quickly, because your heart has never pounded so fast in your life. You fumble around, trying to find the right thing, hands shaking again, and you can’t seem to get them to stop.

You go back to Levi, wrapping the cloth around his shoulder and securing it around his arm, suddenly hyper aware of the feel of his skin. It’s softer than you had imagined it would be. Both of you sit in the silence for a while, your hand finding a place over his and rubbing soft circles on his knuckles with your thumb.

You want to say something, anything, but there aren’t any words that seem right. His fingers deftly work their way around yours, and you honestly wonder if he can hear your heartbeat or the blood rushing to your cheeks. It’s past midnight now, and you have a feeling dawn will be approaching before long.

“You should really sleep now. It won’t get better until you rest a little.” You’re speaking because his actions gave you a little bit of confidence, but he interprets it wrong almost immediately.

“Of course. You’d like to go now?”

“N-no! No, I just thought that, that you would be tired now. I can go if you want, I-”

“I don’t get much sleep anyways.” He doesn’t even mean to sound so dejected, but it comes out before he can stop himself. He’s spent too, too many nights laying awake, sleep ever-evading him, wondering how it might be to sleep besides you. Would he get some rest? Would he be able to close his eyes and not open them an hour later with a pounding chest? He can’t remember the last time he was able to fall asleep, and stay asleep. You don’t make any movement to get away, and he notices your hand twitch and wonders why.

You have to fight yourself internally to keep your hand down, and not wrap your arms around your captain as you process his words. Your heart feels strangely heavy at the thought of Levi laying awake, all alone, exhausted but unable to succumb to the ease of rest. He’s on guard, all the time, every minute of every day, and half the time he’s expending his energy on saving you.

You’re not confident, like some of the others. You never have been. But in this moment, you feel something rushing into your body and coursing through your veins, something close to confidence but slightly different. The feeling makes you release Levi’s hand and shed your sweater, and crawl into his bed. It’s almost exactly as you expected, and not nearly as soft or warm as your own. But you think about Levi sleeping soundly beside you, him peaceful and content, and it doesn’t matter how comfortable his bed is. You just want him to fall asleep.

He looks at you with a mix of emotions, surprise being mixed in with them. He hadn’t been expecting that, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it.

You’re sitting under the covers now, waiting expectedly for something. A part of you fears that this wasn’t what he meant, or wanted, but your racing heart calms down a little at the sight of him coming in to get settled beside you. He releases a sigh when his shoulder hits the mattress, at ease finally, and so exhausted that every muscle in his body is about to give out.

He sleeps on his back, you note, before shifting your gaze to the ceiling quickly. You certainly don’t want him to notice that you’re staring, or that you keep fingering the soft sheets between your fingers to remind yourself this is real and really happening.

“Stop fidgeting.” His voice is quiet, and even, and stills you instantly. You finally lift your head to look at him, letting out a breath at how he looks. Eyes closed, almost peaceful, laying on his back with his hand resting right near you.

You’re not sure if it’s the confidence from earlier, or something new entirely, but you adjust the sheets to cover him more, pulling them and letting them rest on his chest. He doesn’t open his eyes, but you notice the way he jerks a little at the motion.

“Sorry, Levi,” you whisper, trying to remain as quiet as possible. You lay your hand on top of his, intertwining your fingers and letting your own eyes close. You can hear his every breath, the scent of his skin taking over and clouding your mind as every sense slowly focused on one thing; him. “Let’s sleep now.”