#like. im okay briefly seeing it im like aw people an ship what they want but idk if i see it for ntoo long its like

[sensitive-switch]

Fandom: Be More Chill

Ship: Dillinjer (Michael is in it too tho)

Word count: 1,042

Prompt: Michael is ‘helping’ Jeremy to get Jake to like him

AN: I AM INCAPABLE OF WRITING SHORT FICS IM SO SORRY

“He’s never gonna like me!” Jeremy said with a sigh and fell back against the bean bag. He had had a crush on Jake Dillinger for the longest time now, and Michael was his wingman.

“Aw come on, you’re adorable, who wouldn’t like you?” Michael teased and playfully poked Jeremy. Jeremy groaned and rolled over facing away from Michael.

“He’s probably into big and strong boys with six packs and big biceps and-”

“Hey, it’s okay Jer. Just because that’s what he’s like doesn't mean that’s the type of person he’s into. Who knows, maybe you’re exactly his type!” Michael reassured.

“I doubt that..” Jeremy mumbled and picked up his controller.

“Hey, you’re like the cutest person ever. He’s gotta like you. We just have to show him that!” Michael said and picked up his controller too, resuming Apocalypse of the Damned. Jeremy blushed at the compliment.

“Thanks..”

A few days later

With enough convincing, Michael had asked Jake to hang out with him and Jeremy a bit later, in hopes of getting Jake to like Jeremy. The three of them were just sitting on the couch talking, relatively bored. Every now and then Michael would try and compliment Jeremy hoping that Jake would notice, such as say ‘hey Jeremy, your hair looks so great today!’ or ‘Jeremy did you get abs?’. Unfortunately, Jeremy would just mumble in embarrassment, causing Jake to laugh awkwardly. Michael would also tease Jeremy every now and then just for his own entertainment. It was for his own good though, as Jeremy was ten times cuter when he was flustered, Michael thought.

“Hey Jake, did you know Jeremy has a stuffed dolphin that he sleeps with every night?” He teased.

“MICHAEL- '' Jeremy said quickly and turned towards Michael who was laughing his ass off. Jeremy was too embarrassed to defend himself so he just waited for Jake to talk.

“Heh, that’s kinda cute.” Jake said. Jeremy and Michael exchanged glances briefly and Jeremy squealed quietly in excitement at the word ‘cute’.

Michael reached over Jeremy to grab the remote, but accidentally poked his side. Jeremy let out a small yelp and covered his mouth quickly hoping Jake hadn’t noticed. Luckily he didn’t, but unfortunately, Michael did. He had an evil idea. Jeremy looked at Michael for a second and mouthed ‘don’t you dare’. He knew it was too late though.

“If you think that’s cute, you should see how ticklish Jeremy is!” Michael said to Jake and suddenly pinned Jeremy down on the couch. Jeremy’s eyes widened in fear and his face turned beet red. Michael was so mean when he wanted to be.

“M-Michael wahahait I will kill you-” Jeremy said with pleading eyes, although he wasn’t intimidating at all. Jeremy wasn’t just ticklish. He was the most ticklish person Michael had ever met. In fact, most people are surprised as to how ticklish he is. If Michael actually went through with this, there would be no hope in Jake liking him- or that’s what Jeremy thought. Michael had a different perspective, and thought of it as he was trying to help Jeremy out by showing how cute he was.

Jake chuckled slightly, not too amused as he sat back slightly on the couch. “Hey, don’t kill him, I want him to show me this dolphin of his.” Jake teased, making Jeremy’s face turn ever more red.

“Don’t worry, you will.” Michael said before digging his fingers into Jeremy’s underarms. Jeremy’s arms shot down by instinct as he shrieked loud enough to startle Jake.

“He’s so ticklish as you can probably tell, and I take advantage of this all the time.” Michael explained to Jake. Jake looked at them and smiled, slightly confused but also pretty entertained.

“If he’s ever being annoying or anything, just know that he has this as a weakness!” Michael said as he switched to digging his fingers into Jeremy’s ribs and stomach. Jeremy was a mess. He was in absolute hysterics and Michael just started. Not to mention he was so embarrassed, he wanted to get up and run away from the humiliation. However Michael did a good job at keeping him pinned so this was hard.

“MICHAEL WAIT THIS IS MEAHEAHEAN!” Jeremy shrieked, his arms trying to bat away Michael’s hands, although he kept failing.

“How is this mean? I’m just tickling you!” Michael teased and lightly squeezed Jeremy’s knee cap, sending the smaller boy into hysterics. Jeremy reached his hand down to try and cover his knee, but felt a hand on his wrist. He thought it was Michael’s, but shockingly, it was Jake’s.

“Mind if I help you out Michael?” Jake smirked and held both of Jeremy’s wrists above his head with his iron grip. Michael looked at Jake with an evil grin and kept tickling Jeremy.

“Not at all Jake, go ahead!”

“SHIHIHIHIHIT-” Jeremy squealed. With Jake’s strength and Micahel’s tickling, Jeremy knew he was toast. This was the most embarrassed he had felt in a long time. He felt so small right now, and so helpless. Michael moved his hands quickly between Jeremy’s armpits and his sides, squeezing lightly at his skin. Jeremy tried to move his arms down, but he couldn’t as Jake’s grip was too strong. Michael gave Jake a look telling him to stop, as he felt like Jeremy had had enough. Jake let go of Jeremy’s wrist. He immediately shot them down to protect his sides and stomach from Michael’s hands.

“P..pleaheasee!” He pleaded weakly as he rolled over on the couch. Michael then stopped too and helped Jeremy up.

“How is it even possible for someone to be so ticklish~?” Michael teased and ruffled his hair. Jeremy’s face was bright red and his hair was messy from rolling around. He couldn’t stop giggling from the torture. He hugged onto Michael and giggled into his hoodie, not wanting to look at Jake as he didn’t want to embarrass himself any more.

“Who knows. It’s pretty cute though,” Jake admitted. Michael lifted up Jeremy’s head and gave him a look when Jake said ‘cute’ again. Jeremy looked at Michael happily and back at Jake. He found it hard to admit, but maybe he was glad that Michael had tickled him right then.

[casvist]

hello my lovely peaches , *puts my clown wig on bcs i’m shy* i’m back at it again, being a greedy bitch and bringing you my second  and super fake muse, yeva.  remember that part where the darkling’s fake ass pretended to be all nice and wholesome. well, yeva is faker than that. she probably has severe back pain from single handedly carrying all her lies on her back. anyway, i could slander her more but i will probably do that later. if you want to plot please LIKE this post or IM me/message me on discord and i’ll bring some clown shoes and ask for some plotting ( but in.... greedy )

PINTEREST  . PROFILE .    BIO (tba) .  VIKTORIYA.     discor*d     six of hoes🔪#7888

[ yeva zudina ], an [ twenty-eight ] year old grisha in the little palace. she is a [ tidemaker ] and are known in the little palace as the [ mountebank ]. they are known to be [ adaptable ] and [ devious ] and vaguely resemble [ davika hoorne ]. 

( okay my soc ass had to make her grow up in ketterdam i’m sorry )

- before yeva knew that she was a tidemaker, she was what one might call an “ordinary” girl in ketterdam. ( as far as anyone can be ordinary in ketterdam )

- as many people living there, she didn’t really have the best time of her life there. her father, well, he was just a name causing an uncomfortable silence whenever one would mutter it. her mother, she tried her best to survive in that hellhole. although, yeva knew how much her did for her, the only person she really could get close to was her step-sibling. ( a wc i’ll elaborate more on when i’m finally requesting that wc). though not bound by blood, they meant the world to yeva and little yeva felt as if she had to protect her from whatever was lurking in ketterdam’s (shady) alleyways.

- despite of her noble intentions, realistically she wasn’t strong. and how so? no one taught her how to protect herself and she was still a child. however, yeva didn’t want to wait around for nothing. instead, she decided to take matters into her own hands and looking back this idea was really stupid, but she wholeheartedly believed that messign with some other kids would be a brilliant way to improve her combat skills ( all my muses have to be stupid at some point i’m sorry, theyre all dumb)

- of course this plan failed terribly ( and instead she was the one getting her ass beaten  ).  luckily someone witnessed that (comedic) unfortunate scene and helped yeva out. and this somehow became the turning point of her life. yeva, completely awe-struck with the stranger, wanted to know more about him. truth to be told, he didn’t do much and his presence alone somehow scared the kids away ( poor kids almost got into a fight with a grown-ass man) but yeva didn’t really care. turned out he was a drüskelle (retired though (as much as one can), thus he didn’t really have to rely on any grisha “magic”, something yeva really admired.

- long story short, he not only became a mentor to yeva ( who successfully convinced him to show her some “cool” drüskelle tricks) but also a father-figure. yeva really trusted him and his beliefs also became hers. which we might say weren’t exactly grisha friendly. at first she didn’t get why he hated grisha so much, to her they didn’t seem too bad but as time passed his words left a mark.

- however, what actually made her end up despising grisha was a certain incident. as much as this day affected yeva, everything happened within a second. a short moment of exchanged laughter, cruelly disrupted by two grisha. tidemakers ( a cruel twist of irony ) . looking back at it now, yeva figured that these two grisha had a long and unresolved grudge against him ( which wasn’t too surprising with him being a drüskelle) and had their eye on him ever since. 

- to put it briefly, yeva was forced to witness the death of someone whom she considered a father to her. yet, fate couldn’t be more cruel on her and it was also the moment her abilities were triggered , and , of course, she turned out to be a grisha as well. make it worse. a tidemaker.

- skipping over all the formalities (bcs this is getting too long) and luck not really being on her side she was brought to the little palace. her mother wasn’t too surprised and knowing that yeva wouldn’t have a future here at ketterdam, she thought that ravka was far more appealing.

- yeva wasn’t happy of course. not only was she forced to be with the people who she despised she herself was one. at first, she refused to do anything at all, she didn’t mind if she were to be punished for her stuborness. no one knew why she was behaving this way, they just shrugged it off as her being a spoiled brat refusing to be useful. yeva, however, didn’t continue to be like this forever and what happened next surpirsed everyone. suddenly, she was eager to train and improved quickly. all they saw was a hardworking grisha but what they didn’t know was that yeva’s intentions weren’t noble. 

- instead of wasting her time at pitying and hating herself, she realized that she was at the perfect place to learn everything about her ‘enemies’. 

- basically, she has that grand plan of trying to destroy things from within, being the wolf in sheep’s clothing (cutting this short bcs this is getting long again). 

personality

- honestly, as i’ve mentioned before she’s fake. and not in that way where she’ll just pretend to smile and go on with her day, she really goes out her way in acting as if she was the sweetest and kindest girl out there. however, everthing she does serves some purpose. she helps you with some training ? she gives you some advice on a personal matter ? she compliments you on your smile ? lets say she doesn’t do it out of kindness. not when you’re a grisha. of course, she isn’t perfect at keeping this act up all the time.  and if one pays a little more attention to her actions, they can see her facade crumbling. still, where vika is all about being straight-forward and accidentally hurting one’s feeling without meaning it, yeva is all about sugar-coating when she needs to but also deliberately using one’s weakness against them.

traits ( adding some bcs i want to redeem her a little bit but i also don’t respect her so..) 

[+] adaptable, decisive, loyal , observant 

[-] ruthless, doesn’t think through consequences, blindly faithful, intrusive

headcanons

- tba ( but i just had to add that yeva prbly wouldn’t hesitate to push someone from the ship when they’d travel through the shadow fold.)

- every time she must do more than simply tolerating grisha, like saying that they’re great she probably loses one year of her life

- trying to keep her reputation yeva is known to give exceptionally good advice

- as much as she despises that “grisha magic” she believes in things like card reading, fortune telling and is quite faithful to the saints (regardless of being grisha or not)

connections

someone who sees through her (shit) facade and unlike everyone else who perceives yeva as that sweet angel, they find her suspicious and doesn’t trust her.

a grisha who is the complete opposite of what yeva think they are and might as well be someone yeva tolerates and might add that 0.1% of character development 

listen an unrequited love bcs i’m laughing at the idea that someone might fall for her super fake persona and the more time they spend with her they start to realize that it is just an act.

someone who turns for advice to yeva bcs of her reputation

*sneakily puts my step sibling connection here so if u r intreested hmu ;) but i’ll also request it later but rn i’m too lazy*

HONESTLY EVERYTHING i love angsty and dramatic shit, but i’m super open for other ideas bcs my two braincells need that wonderful input and inspo so gimme all the connections PLS !!! *types this in thirsty for all ur wonderful muses*

[darylwillfightnatureforcarol]

(WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF THAT STUPID TEENY BOPPER BLONDE GIRL IN THIS POST)

Guys, please pray for my soul. I'm about to start on Season 4.

How the hell am I going to get through that damned cringey ass hug in 30 Days Without An Accident?

If I'm already stressing over that, how am I going to get through Alone and Still.

I can't even skip the damned episodes because I'm watching it with my mum 😏

Please send me ideas on how to look at this humorously.

Btw (and warning for b3thyl rant):

Just to say it for the millionth time: Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to write that stupid ass Daryl and B3th storyline in the first place?!

That hug is so uncomfortable to watch. Did they think we would think it was sweet because 'Aw, she's so cute, trying to make him feel better' I just watch it with the sense that the FBI should be busting into that prison. I thought the same in the scene where B3th kisses Rick on the cheek.

Was the writer or whoever proposed the storyline a closet pedo? Or a teenage girl? What the hell was the point of pairing them up for those episodes?

They say that they never intended for it to be perceived romantically, but come on, there's no way they couldn't know some people were going to interpret it that way. Especially teenage girls.

Im aware that EK is older than the character she played and that she briefly dated Norman (which is still kinda gross imo but they're adults. To each their own) but you can't just overlook the fact that she was playing a girl that was AT LEAST only 18.

How do you go about justifying that. As if Daryl would ever touch her when he is clearly so against exploiting children. The fact that she is 18 is hardly anything worth mentioning. She is BARELY 18 and still basically a child.

To ship that trash heap is to basically admit you have no idea who Daryl Dixon is. It's actually insulting to his character if you think about it.

Do those crazy people think the group or Maggie, for that matter, would have been okay with that shit? No freaking way! As much as Maggie cares about Daryl, you can bet she would have found something sharp and used it in unsavoury places.

God, I'm sorry for the rant guys. Just, this lead up to this abuse on my eyes is stressing me tf out.

I'd love to blame it on the shippers for making watching those episodes uncomfortable but it's not even that. Even I can feel that tension on screen and it makes my skin crawl.

It's Norman and EK that cause it, I know. It's their real life stuff coming through because honestly, they're both not the greatest of actors. No offense to them. It's just how I interpret their talents.

So, like I said, we're all pretty sure the two of them had something going on, which while creepy, was not illegal. That clearly translated into screen and that's why those episodes seem loaded with sexual tension that makes me want to barf.

Because I'm not watching it as Norman and EK, I'm watching it as Daryl and B3th, with all I know about their characters in my mind. And it's just wrong. It feels wrong. It looks wrong. It IS wrong.

The amount of disgusting b3thyl fanart I've been bombarded with on Pinterest lately has also not helped matters. What the fuck is wrong with their algorithm? I like a shit ton of Caryl fanart, so you punish me with that trash?

I need some postive vibes guys. I keep seeing the same damned D0nnie fanart on Instagram too.

[aeirithgainsborough]

very Important adam/ronan things to take away from the cdth sampler:

“like the other lynch brothers, he was a regular churchgoer, but most people assumed he played for the other team.” i am SCREAMING. top tier gay joke. well timed.

everyone: ronan’s eyes aren’t pretty. adam: mhmm  e y e l a s h e s

much to say about the revelation that ronan is partly at the barns to keep his dreams hidden and in check, and how much he relates an inability to change and be like everyone else to having to stay there. almost like he’s stuck huh! i’ve been saying!!

of note that words used to describe ronan’s existence are BORED and MALINGERED.

fingers crossed he finds some balance between his dreams and his wants/needs that allows him to leave the barns and grow but after the Great Crab Disaster I’M WORRIED.

fire imagery EVERYWHERE. i’m WORRIED again.

“there are stains that spread faster than you drive. if you drive, it’ll take fourteen years to get there. seventeen. forty. one hundred. we’ll be driving to your funeral by the end.” good to know ronan is still the most DRAMATIC boy in the whole of virginia. absolutely no chill.

dont like the possible foreshadowing of that driving to your funeral by the end, though. must leave lynches alone!

“it’s very safe” asjkajjka DECLAN PLEASE 

“ronan kicked one of the volvo’s tires” asjkajjka RONAN PLEASE. 

ronan trying to act nonchalant by cramming chocolate covered peanuts into his mouth and choking a little is Peak Disaster Gay. 

matthew’s music must be awful if ronan and declan are in agreement over it, must have playlist. 

ronan who lives to pretend he doesn’t care wondering if his brothers didn’t say anything about his moving because it didn’t make a difference to them is huhhh. don’t like it, take it away pls.

i’m sorry, ENTIRELY WRAPPED UP IN! ENTIRELY! 

entirely

wrapped

up

in

shut up!!!! shut upppppp! 

“is there any version of you that could come with me to cambridge?” tbh nothing would have readied me for this. adam i-can-do-everything-alone asking ronan if he could go with him. so much growth, too much pride, nowhere to put it, send help.

the fact that ronan doesn’t stay in cambridge when he visits adam because of plausible deniability, that if he doesn’t try there’s no evidence he can’t make it there. rip. 

ronan! missed! him! like! a! lung! 

dramatic again, but entirely relatable bc damn, same ronan, same. 

a) ronan thinking about how his heartbeat is the same as everyone else’s so he wasn’t that different and b) JUST LIKE ADAM’S HEART WHEN HIS HEAD WAS RESTING ON HIS HEAD = much too much to think about. need to lie down for a bit.

he could move to follow the guy he loved!! we all knew it was love, we’ve always known it was love, but! the words. the words!!!!! brb sobbing.

i have only had jordan for a day and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself. 11/10 would marry.

art forgery plot confirmed!

THIS WAS HOW IT HAD BEGUN

bitch fkajdkajksja GIVE ME A WARNING. 

still can’t compose myself RE the info that ronan saw adam and immediately sent a desperate prayer up to god 

will the word please ever be the same again? definitely not!

adam’s arms adam’s hands his lovely! boyish! hands!

the description of his expressions with all its contradictions and multitudes is just my favourite thing ever. it encapsulates everything i love about adam fucking parrish.

and the fact that ronan instantly recognised all those multitudes in him. there was always a level of understanding ronan had for adam throughout trc that no one else did and this tells us he had that before he even met him, he just... recognised something in him i just... ;______; 

please 

ronan knowing all the harvard stats because he was the person adam could crow to, how he takes on that adam that is still full of contradictions and multitudes, how he finds it hard but he absorbs all the facts and all of adam’s anxieties, even in the face of his own anxieties about adam leaving and falling in love with the shining, educated people that ronan thinks are better than him. that absolute, unwavering support 😭😭😭

tbh there’s a whole ass lot to unpack in this section so imma try and do it briefly (she says!)

ronan lynch is a romantic cdth confirmed: 

he could have texted adam but he liked the soft surprise of it

over the past few days ronan had played his reunion with adam over in his head MANY TIMES

adam i love you but that outfit sounds awful. you are a student, it’s a friday night, put some sweats on and stuff some cheetos in your mouth. 

the sweet nervousness of their reunion, how they walk past each other and both seem so uncertain. they’re a year into dating and the still get nervous and unsure after a few weeks apart and it’s CUTE and definitely speaks to their excitement/anticipation levels.

THE WATCH. big time softness. 

they hugged hard ;_____; 

im just so relieved that they’re allowed to touch each other and be intimate and aren’t consigned to the ‘boys in love aren’t like that boring boring’ corner. 

the way ronan thinks about how adam fits as he remembered. huh. you’re really gonna do this to me.

his hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it ALWAYS did when they hugged. 

you smell like home. you smell like home!!!!!! brb ive gone absolutely fucking feral. 

i both want to play repo because it sounds fun and don’t want to because it sounds complicated and i fucking hate instructions. much confusion. 

adam pressing his shoe hard against ronan’s and then his leg and then breathing in ronan’s ear I AM HOWLING. ronan’s nerve endings being made a marvel of I AM SOBBING. it’s very important that m/m ships are afforded the same level of explicit attraction as m/f (and i don’t mean explicit as in nsfw, i mean as in obvious)

no offence because i love them but all of adam’s friends sound Extra™

“to the outside eye, ronan lynch was a loser” pls ronan, you are giving me an ulcer.

scary spice i asjkjdkjskdjak

queer crying club! i stan!!

also adam saying in the epilogue of trk that he wanted to save all the adam’s hidden in plain view and then going to college and scooping up all the criers and giving them something to do is far too much to handle.

don’t think about that and the time he thought about how he used to spend his nights crying on the trailer steps and wondering why he bothered until gansey came along and offered him friendship. dont think about how he’s essentially paying that forward DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

hand holding, arms around each other, hip to hip walking, can’t wait anymore kissing, I MISSED YOU. love that for me! 

but also the fact that adam reaches down for ronan’s hand and its so natural. ronan’s hand is there so he just. takes it. 

hearing ronan’s thoughts on what happened with robert at last is A Lot. the way it’s still happening, always happening, kept fresh and savage shows how affected ronan was by it all and still is and i think its so important that he’s not just. angry and hot headed. there’s more to it than that. its painful, it makes him feel sick, its unending and it really speaks to how much adam means to him. 

adam thinks he has no one BITCH YOU’VE GOT ALL OF US. 

and ronan. 

but. how he feels like he has nothing still. the way his voice hitches on ‘because’ because it’s all still so painful. i wanna wrap him up. i wanna take everything that hurts away. i wanna tell him he’s so loved. guess i’ll just have to sit back and watch him work his way through it all I GUESS. no but i am looking forward to his growth in this trilogy, especially considering how much he’s grown already. adam parrish invented character growth lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

it had never been a fight between them/it was a fight between adam and himself, between adam and the world/for ronan it was a fight between truth and compromise, between the black and white he saw and the reality everyone else experienced. i LOVE this. it so well encapsulates them. and it’s so important that they can realise their differing world views and their complexities and meet in the middle somewhere.

“ronan put his lips on adam’s deaf ear, and he hated adam’s father” FUCK ME UP. my absolute favourite bit 103930%. absolute incoherent mess over here. not! okay! see other post for more coherency because i only had it for 5.7 minutes. 

frowning, guarded, crumpled adam who i’ll literally. never be over in all of my life. 38983/10 will love him until the end of time. 

i want it too much. !!!!!! going feral again over here. WHAT DO YOU WANT ADAM? I WANT IT TOO MUCH. definitely will never shut up about this. 

scared adam is going to be a visionary so pretending chapter 6 doesn’t exist. 

LINDENMERE ;________;

i love it already

i CANNOT believe that ronan is being dream invaded and challenged and he’s over here like hmm nice bike ELEGANT and ROUGH and READY like ADAM asjkasj please ronan you are so embarrassing!! 

also. ronan thinks adam is elegant and rough and ready so! there’s that!

i literally. cannot. cope with the HILARITY of chapter 8. the whole thing is a complete and utter DISASTER. it’s absolutely gone off in adam’s room after all his work at constructing a well put together boy. ronan comes for a night and everything goes BONKERS. amazing. 

(really worried about what this means RE ronan being able to exit the barns and grow and change and not be bored and not feel like a loser so we’re focusing on the hilarious disaster of it all.)

p.s. adam sleeping slotted between ronan and the wall OKAY. THIS IS FINE! 

p.p.s. adam’s bed hair is WILD. 

p.p.p.s i have missed adam and ronan so so so so so much and im an emotional fucking wreck

[all-hail-the-witcher]

one expensive can of easy cheese

crack head hours my kids

also inspired by a hot guy i saw at walgreens today

the walgreens chaos returns

______

ship: ralbert

genre: crackhead angst

words: who knows, not super long

warnings: mentions of a twine kink, easy cheese, concussions, walgreens, race thinks another guy is hot, uhhh, hot men in scrubs, minor bits of violence, new yorkers been new yorkers, albert is a dumbass, race is more of a dumbass

editing: nah

_____

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese.

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do). So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place.

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat, he was able to dislodge the duct tape.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?”

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick. “Hmmmmmmm. No.”

“But-!” He wriggled around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!”

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell.

“Can you at least untie me then?”

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time.

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?”

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists.

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.”

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.”

“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.”

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!”

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all.

Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese.

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese.

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when-

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled around to see Mr. Man Candy himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!”

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese.

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?”

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!”

“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” Race was fuming but the time that he was done.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.”

Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick. “Buy some fucking vegetables!”

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame.  

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?”

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.”

“Wait, you know him?”

“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.” There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.”

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.”

______

that was a ride

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[turtle-steverogers]

al is ripped and race is whipped

oof some Not Angst for once

warnings: implied steamy situation

editing: no

ship: ralbert

Albert looked up from his phone, laughing when he saw his best friend being wheeled in from the operation room, heart-shaped bandaid on his forehead and socks on his hands. He was smiling goofily around a straw that was protruding haphazardly from a can of Ginger Ale.

“Hi, Albie!” He exclaimed, earning amused glances from surrounding people. He turned his head to look up at the nurse that was pushing him, “That’s my best friend, Albert!”

The nurse nodded, a fond smirk gracing her features, “So I’ve heard,” they approached, Race looking around wide eyed as they stopped in front of Albert, “He wouldn’t stop talking about you the entire way back down here,” the nurse finished.

Albert felt a blush creep up his neck and he looked down at Race, “He’s something else.”

“Sure is,” the nurse agreed, “He liked his hospital socks, but didn’t want to wear them with his sandals so he put them on his hands, instead.”

Albert snickered, earning a questioning stare from Race.

“What’re you laughing at?” Race asked, struggling to get the straw in his mouth a few times before taking a long drink.

“You,” Albert commented, eyes crinkling.

“Oh,” Race giggled, mirroring Albert’s blush, “Am I funny?”

Albert nodded, “When you’re hopped up on laughing gas, yeah.”

“Anywho,” the nurse interjected, holding out a small bag for Albert to take, “These are his pain meds, make sure he takes them hourly for the first six hours he’s home, then every two hours after that for a day.”

Albert slipped the bag into his backpack, taking the wheelchair handles from the nurse, “Thank you very much, ma’am.”

“My pleasure,” she smiled kindly.

“Yeah, thanks bro! Fist bump,” Race stuck his tongue between his teeth, holding up an unsteady fist for the nurse to bump.

“You’re welcome, bro,” She winked, giving him one last wave before leaving down the hallway.

“How’re you feeling?” Albert asked Race as he pushed him out of the hospital and through the parking lot to his car.

“Alive, man, I feel great!” Race said, voice gaining volume slightly on the last word.

Albert looked down at him, “I’m glad.” he tried to ignore the butterflies that manifested in his stomach upon seeing Race in this state. He had been doing well in hiding his newly developed crush on his best friend and roommate recently, but seeing him in his current sedated state was increasingly adorable and Albert couldn’t help but fall harder.

“Alright,” Albert said, bringing the wheelchair to a stop by the passenger side door to the car, “We’re here, chief, we gotta get you up.”

Race pouted, “My legs feel like jello, though.”

“I know,” Albert said, taking the ginger ale out of Race’s socked grip and opening the door to place the can in the cupholder, “I’ll help you, don’t worry.”

“Okay!” Race said, lifting his arms like a child, making Albert laugh. He bent down and hugged Race around his torso, straightening his legs slowly to hoist the other man up. It took some maneuvering, but eventually Race was secure in the passenger seat.

Albert made to let go, but Race grabbed his bicep, eyes bulging once more, “Holy shit, dude, you’re ripped!” Albert swallowed, staring down at where Race’s hand was gripping his arm, “If I had known you could throw me on the bed with one arm, I’da fucked you by now, I mean,” he paused and scrunched up his nose in thought, unaware of the Albert’s incredulous expression, “I would fuck you, anyway, ‘cause you’re hot, but now I’d definitely bottom.”

“Oookay, buddy,” Albert interrupted, pulling his arm out of Race’s hold, “Let’s getcha home and into bed.”

“Only if you come with me.”

“Oh my god, you’re high,” Albert rolled his eyes, shutting the passenger door and crossing to the driver’s side. He climbed in, turning on the bluetooth and handing Race his phone, “Pick something.”

Race nodded, putting on his ‘intense concentration’ face as he pulled up ‘All Star’ by Smash Mouth on YouTube.

“Oh, Jesus,” Albert mumbled as the beginning played and Race began singing along loudly. The rest of the car ride was spent with Race putting on various songs and performing them off-key. By the time they got back to their apartment, Race had worn himself out and was dozing against the window, still mumbling along to the music in his haze.

Albert helped him out of the car and back into the wheelchair, wheeling him into the building. They took the elevator to their floor, Race talking to himself quietly about ‘meerkats’ and Albert mostly zoning out, thinking about what Race had said in the parking lot. Did he truly return Albert’s feelings? Or had it been a medicine induced infatuation? Would he remember what he’d said to Albert after the medicine wore off? Should Albert bring it up?

He shook the thoughts from his head as they approached their apartment and fumbled with his key for a few moments before entering. He situated Race on the couch, ignoring his protests against sleeping, and went to his room to do some homework.

About an hour later, he heard a knock at his door.

“Yeah,” He called over his shoulder, flipping through his textbook to check his answers. His door opened and he swiveled around in his desk chair to see Race, hands still in their socks, standing in his doorway.

“You seem to be moving around better,” Albert commented, raising his eyebrows.

Race nodded, “Yeah, the medicine wore off,” he seemed nervous and was rubbing his hands together through the fabric of the socks, “Uh, did I really…” he trailed off, looking at Albert for the first time, “Did I really, uh, tell you..”

“That you wanna fuck me?” Albert finished, biting back a smile.

Race flinched, looking sheepish, “Yeah.”

“You did,” Albert said, standing and crossing over to Race, “But don’t worry,” Race’s head snapped up, hope glinting in his eyes, “The feeling’s mutual.”

Race breathed out a laugh, studying Albert’s face for a few moments, before surging forward and kissing him, hands reaching up to rest on his jaw.

Albert reciprocated, warmth spreading through his chest and expanding through his body until his entire being felt like it was on fire. Kissing Race was better than he’d imagined. The other man’s lips were soft, yet commanding, and he melted into the feeling. They pulled apart, panting as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Race?” Albert whispered, breath ghosting Race’s lips.

“Hm?”

“Get your socks off my face.”

Race blushed, deep scarlet, and he hastily tugged off the socks, “Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled.

Albert took his bare hands, placing them on his waist, “That’s okay,” he said, kissing Race again briefly, before asking, “So, what’s this about you being a bottom?”

Race’s eyes widened and a smirk settled on his face, “Only for you, Dasilva.”

-

idiots oof

thanks for reading, chiefs

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[super-lemon-sama]

I’ve made a very personal realization recently.

I normally don’t post personal stuff that isn't just like a funny story or something silly, but I really wanted to share this.

It’s pretty long and kind of a jumbled mess so I’ll leave it under read more.

Okay this is gonna sound weird but- I just realized that I’m like really actually gay.

I mean the past two years I’ve been pretty open about liking girls so we been known, you know, but not like known known?

That probably doesn't make sense.

What I mean is I didn't totally understand it.

(if you wanna skip to the chase you can scroll down to the bottom and read under the horizontal line)

You see my family is pretty conservative, and I love them and all but I have to be honest, they aren’t very open minded. On top of that It wasn't until VERY recently that I’ve had any openly gay friends or piers.

So for the past seven years I’ve really struggled with who I am and how I feel. It’s hard to talk about it and accept my feeling because for years and years I really convinced myself that I was just fucked in the head and couldn't love anyone. I thought the only correct option for me was to like guys and that if I didn't like guys there was something wrong with me.

It wasn't even on my radar that a girl could actually like a girl. It was so cemented in my brain that guys were the only option, and never had anyone around me who could show or tell me otherwise. Like it wasn't that my family or community forced those crazy “you cant be gay!” or “gay is a sin, and if you’re gay you’re going to hell!”  “values” upon me. It’s that no one ever spoke about the gays or being gay.  Gay just didn't exist in my world.

I was so completely... uninformed I guess. 

The first time I discovered anything gay was around 8th grade; I was on the internet by then and hung out with the weebs at school so I had heard of Yuri and Yaoi. (I rarely saw yuri though) These two girls in particular who I was the closest to in the weeb group, were in fact lesbians. But like my brain just couldn't recognize it. I didn't realized they were ACTUAL lesbians for the longest time, one because I just thought they were acting like these two anime characters they shipped together and two because I still didn't know what a lesbian was, I just knew that a girl kissing a girl was yuri.

there’s so much that I didn't know or understand. I wish that someone who could have just told me so I wouldn't have had to suffer so much just to learn what I know now.

it was also around 8th grade that I found out Asexuality was a thing and was like:

 “Oh yeah that’s super me!” 

because back then (and even now) I hated the thought of being physically intimate with a guy. It super freaked me out and made me uncomfortable. 

Additionally America is fucked and likes to make people scared of sex instead of actually educating anyone about it; so for most of my life intimacy of any kind has always been labeled as “A bad bad terrible thing you should never do or you’re a shameful and disgusting person”. It was so bad that I thought that it was wrong to even think about holding someones hand. (I’m still struggling with that tbh. partly because of my anxiety and slight germaphobia. But i’m getting better about it and it almost not even a problem around people I’ve known for a long time)

I dont really remember when or what led me to realize I liked girls. I just remember it was around maybe 11th or 12th grade, when I befriended this guy and thought that since I liked him more than other guys that I had met that it meant I “like liked” him, so we started dating. Around this time I still considered myself asexual, but started joking about anime girls and shit like that, because it was the hip meme at the time. 

But the more I joked about liking girls the more I realized that it wasn't really a joke. I started thinking about how pretty and nice girls are; and about how I like being around them. How I never really felt any strong or even really positive feelings towards any guys. So I started thinking if I had ever liked anyone more than my boyfriend at the time, and it hit me like a brick. 

I dont want to talk about it to much but there’s a certain person I used to talk to that I was really really close to. I always thought about how I wanted to live in a house with her and see her everyday and joked about getting best friend married to her. They were jokes but I did mean them. I really did want to live with her, I wanted to see her everyday, and I remember really wishing there was such a thing as “best friend marriage”.

If I had even one openly gay friend back then I think I would have figured it out so much sooner. 

Actually Thinking back on it now all my friends probably thought I was gay, wish one of them would have told me, lmao. 

(I also realized that a majority of my ocs were very very gay)

But I was fucked up about it for a long time, because she was my best friend, and I had been saying I was straight or asexual for so long, I was so scared people were going to think I was a crazy liar and hate me. Plus she was straight and had a boyfriend by the time I moved away. 

Which I wasn't sad or mad about actually. He's a really cool dude and he made her really happy which always made me really happy. Like he would make her laugh and I would almost want to just thank the dude for making her so happy.

We drifted apart, which is kind of my fault. I missed her so much but I felt like it was wrong for me to miss her, and I was scared that I would confess my feelings to her compulsively and it would make everything awful and weird, and that she wouldn't want to talk to me ever again. To me our friendship going unruined was the most important thing, because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable or unhappy, so and my dumb ass brain decided that If I basically stop being friends with her by ghosting her that I couldn't ruin our friendship.

It’s not like our friendship ever “ended” or anything. If I wanted to talk to her I’m sure I could. But it’s been so long that I just want to leave that door closed. But I’m at peace with that and have actually been able to move on.

There’s some stuff I want to briefly mention just because they’ve all happened pretty recently so I don’t entirely have my thoughts on them settled yet.

How about two years ago in my collage art class I made friends with some lgbt people who Invited me to their club, and started going to meeting with a couple different lgbt students. I learned a lot there. I wish I would have asked more questions back then but it was all so new at the time I dont think I could have reaaaally understood any explanations I got anyway.

I dated someone who was non-binary trans for a while, and I have to be honest I didn't really get it back then; transgender was a new concept for me at the time so I kept getting confused. You see I thought trans only applied to mtf and ftm and that non-binary was a category all it’s own. I mean it is but you know what I mean.

 I wanted to understand but felt like asking them questions about it would have been mean so I didn't. hhhhhhhhhhhh im so fukin dumbbbb.

I’m not proud of it but I broke up with them because I felt so bad for not understanding them, I felt like I wasn't giving them the understanding and validation they deserved. I really liked hanging out with them and talking to them, but they really liked me and I just felt like I wasn't a good enough. I was so scared of hurting their feelings that I... hurt their feelings.

Flawless logic, I know.

and here’s the part were I finally realize that I’m a big gay

It’s stupid because It’s literally the most basic and obvious thing you would realize when you’re gay and yet it somehow took me this long to figure it out.

I realized that the thought of kissing a guy is gross, but the thought of kissing a girl is nice.

I would be comfortable and happy being in a relationship with a girl.

I would like to live with and marry a girl one day.

I’m mad that it took me so long to freaking realize this shit, but I’m glad that I have.

I dont think I’m a lesbian technically since I do like non-binary people too (Though with a fem lean. if that’s how you say that???)

But there’s a lot I still dont know, like what I would even call myself, but I would really like to learn; So if any of you have read this far and want to share some of your knowledge please do!

Thank you all so much for your time and support, I love you and hope you have a great day!

[unstoppableforcce]

Princess (Poe Dameron x reader) part 1

A/N: Another multipart Poe x reader, I hope you enjoy it. Feedback is always welcome. No warnings I don’t think.

“Wow.”

The beauty of the planet quickly overtook the pilot as he drifted the transporter into the atmosphere. He was surprised to see the whole planet coated in a bright sunlight, multiple suns shining over the horizon, basking every tower and structure in a golden glow.

Every single thing about the planet was gorgeous. The trees reached high and far, every structure somehow reaching even taller. The architecture looked old but so intricate and every surface was covered in vines and flowers.

“It is beautiful, isn’t it?” The calm voice of the General spoke up from behind the curly haired pilot. He turned briefly just to confirm it was her before staring back out at the beautiful landscape.

“Every thing is so beautiful.” He added back, softer this time as he navigated through the tall buildings of the city. But as he moved through the city, the city began to fade away into more villages and market places. “How far is the palace outside the city?”

“Not far, you can’t miss it.” She added, watching the awe on the pilots face as he admires the landscape.

He was about to question what she meant by that but then the palace came into view over the horizon. A gorgeous building that seemed to go on for miles almost. The whole west side seemed to be a hub for ships, watching them fly in and out. But the opposite side was on the bay of a beach and ocean, surrounded by a market place. There was too much to focus on honestly. But one thing that couldn’t be missed was the giant statue of some woman in the expansive courtyard.

“Who is that?” He questioned as he maneuvered over to the west side, where all the ships were moving in and out.

“Their old queen, she’s dead now.” Leia explained as they flew into the hub, being directed to the upper level for parking.

“Who are we meeting with then?” He asked her, landing the ship and continuing to stare out at the beautiful expanse.

“The Princess, (Y/N).” She added as they walked out of the plane. They were both dressed in casual clothing, nothing marking them as resistance, knowing that the first order could be anywhere.

“She’s not the queen?” Poe questioned, stopping briefly to watch a flock of beautifully vibrant birds storm to the bay elegantly.

“The king is still alive, dying, but alive.” She continued, ushering Poe into the elevator, chuckling by how fascinated he was by the scenery.

“So the princess runs everything? Interesting.” He added, finally turning to face Leia.

“You better play nice, you know how much we need their sponsorship, we couldn’t survive with out it.” She added as they stepped out into the main hallway. People were casually mewling around, dressed in natural looking fabrics, flowers in their hands, ink covering their skin.

“Don’t worry, I will.” Poe comforted, following Leia as she approached another hallway where guards were standing outside.

“Elias? Is that you?” Leia questioned as she approached the man, heavily armed, stern look across his face. Though all his sternness faded away as he saw her walking towards him.

“Ah, Princess.” He smiled back, welcoming her with open arms. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“We have a meeting with the Princess.” Leia explained but the guards face twisted with confusion.

“I’m sorry but she’s not here currently.” He explained.

“Where is She?” Poe questioned casually, drawing attention towards him.

“She often travels around our planet. This isn’t unusual, I mean, for her to forget she has meetings.” He explained.

Leia and Poe glanced at each other, suspicious of who they were doing business with.

“But, She should return soon, you’re welcome to wait for her in the throne room.” He added, sensing their apprehension, stepping aside to let them pass. “You remember the route, I’m sure?”

“Yes of course.” Leia comforted.

She began walking and Poe followed on her heels. Poe was growing overly suspicious, he didn’t trust a woman who couldn’t even remember her own meetings. Or who was actively trying to avoid them. Who’s side was she on.

“She forgot our meeting? And she runs this planet?” Poe questioned, turning Leia to face him as they stood down the hallway.

“She’s not away, her ship is still in the hanger.” Leia countered, surprising Poe.

“Why would he lie to us?”

“I don’t think he knows that he’s lying.” She added, taking a detour down another hallway instead of heading to the throne room as directed.

“You think she’s avoiding us?” Poe concluded as they continued down the long hall, arriving in one of the main passage ways filled with people.

“She’s probably already fielding offers from the first order. She’s a sweet kid, she probably is afraid to tell us no.” Leia nodded to a man passing them as they continued to walk towards the east wing of the palace. She hardly remembered the princess but if she was anything like her father, she could expect her to be nothing but sweet and kind. The more they walked, through halls and past open rooms, the less official things began to feel, suddenly it felt more as if they were in a market and not a palace.

“You think she’s here?” Poe questioned, now immersed in the busy market place, spotting the shore of the beach on the other side.

“I’m almost sure of it.” She added and they began to walk through the market, her eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of the princess. There wasn’t much Poe could do to help, not knowing what she looked like, but he was easily admiring the beautiful sun coated landscape.

They reached the end of the market place, standing on the shore when Leia casually pointed to the bank of the water. Poe looked over to where she was pointing and was struck with awe. There sat the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He could hardly see her face but her smooth skin contrasted the cool white sand of the beach, making her shine. She was sitting alone, draped in a thinly strapped black dress, making her look like a natural beauty of the surrounding nature. He could see a long tattoo drawn down the line of her spine, he couldn’t make out what it was but it was long an intricate, stretching across her whole torso.

He must’ve been staring too long, because he didn’t realize Leia had began walking towards her. He quickly caught up but they were stopped by a guard who seemed to appear out of no where when they got close.

“She’s busy.”

Leia went to argue but the princess turned her attention to them, sighing deeply before turning back to stare at the water.

“It’s okay Xia, let them through.”

Poe eyed the guard carefully as they passed him and approached where she sat, casually draped in her dress across the sand.

“Princess.” Leia asked harshly as they approached her.

She looked up at them and Poe was mesmerized by her grey eyes, so light and pure seeming.

“I was hoping that by not being at the palace, you would get the feeling I didn’t want to meet with you.” Her smooth voice, vaguely accented, spoke out, her eyes returning to the sea.

“We did, we just ignored it.” Leia spoke and the princess laughed lightly.

“We.” She repeated, beginning to stand up, turning to face the two of them. “I wasn’t aware you were bringing friends.” Her words were just as pointed as her stare became, directed completely at Poe.

“I-“

“He’s my pilot, Commander Dameron.” Leia interrupted Poe’s chance to speak for himself, knowing he could piss her off easily. She was able to spot quickly that they were on thin ice with the princess.

“Commander Dameron? Does he have a first name?” She questioned Leia jokingly, but face straight and determined.

“Poe.” He commented, drawing her stare back to him.

“Well, Poe, if you could leave us to talk. You might as well wait by the ship you came in, I don’t imagine it will be a long conversation.” She spoke slyly as he frowned.

“Actually-“

“I was actually thinking he could join us.” Leia added, again cutting him off, not allowing him the chance to speak to her directly.

“Really?” She said, face remaining stoic. “Doesn’t seem like he’d be much for conversation.”

Poe huffed out annoyedly but Leia held a hand up to stop him from responding yet again, but he wouldn’t let her comments go undefended.

“I am one of her highest ranking commanders.” Poe noted, trying not to sound bitter, knowing it would only anger Leia who need this mission to go well.

“Im sure.” She added as she began walking away from them, easily expecting them to follow, which after a few seconds, they did. “As you can imagine, your being here has put me in an unfavorable position.” She explained, weaving effortlessly through the market place as they followed her back to the palace trying to keep up.

“We don’t wish to cause you discomfort Princess, but it is a rather important conversation we need to have.” Leia argues back as they struggle to follow her through the crowds.

Poe kept his eyes staring directly at her back, using it as a marker to chase her through the crowd eagerly trying to keep up, Leia at his side.

“That’s funny, I swore I very clearly conveyed my position over our last call.” She stopped walking and waited for them to catch up, standing in front of a booth with children selling fruit.

“I was hoping that a face-to-face meeting would allow us to change your mind.” Leia explained but the princess was no longer looking at her, now paying her full attention to the children at the booth.

She had grabbed a small pouch of shining coins from her guard and crouched in front of the children. The children quickly began to kneel in front of her but she waved their greeting of respect off. “How much for a pouch of the Mewe?” She questioned.

“Free for you, my princess.” The child in front told her but she shook her head in a laugh, this being the first time Poe had seen her crack her stoic disposition.

“That’s no way to run a business.” She spoke easily, the child smiled, gesturing for one of the other children to prepare a pouch.

“Four.” He responded and she smiled back, passing him the necessary shiny coins. He in return, handed her a pouch of the fruit she requested.

Standing back up with it, she handed her coins back to her guard and began walking, Leia and Poe following behind again. When they reached the edge of the palace, she led them to a more quiet and not as crowded hallway before turning back to them.

Reaching into the bag, she flipped a fruit at Poe with a stoic face, then gently handed one to Leia.

“It’s a Mewe, one of our sweetest fruits. You can only find them here. They can’t grow anywhere else because they need massive amounts of sunlight.” The Princess explained, pulling one out for herself and easily taking a bite out of it.

Poe tried to notice the way the juice dripped down her chin from the corner of her mouth. So he adverted his eyes to Leia who had taken her own bite, eyes imploring him to do the same.

So he took his own bite was overwhelmed by the amazing taste instantly. He grew up with the same foods his whole life, nowadays stuck with whatever bland ration packs the resistance was supplied with. He hadn’t ever tasted anything so sweet.

She quickly took notice of his reaction, a smirk now cracking her hardened exterior.

“This is one of the many things that makes my planet not only unique but extraordinary.” She explained as the two of them watch her take another chaste bite.

“We don’t disagree-“

“I think you do.” She responded, interrupting Leia. “You would have me pledge my sponsorship to your futile movement and sacrifice my whole planet to the wrath of the horrid first order. You do this, with nothing to offer me in return. You just hold tight to the idea that long lasting relations are infallible.” She spoke back with nothing but composure despite speaking so passionately.

“We can offer your planet protection.” Leia added, “putting you safe and on the right side of history.”

“Because that worked so well for Alderaan or the Hosnian System?” She countered rudely, elevating tensions with her low blow. “You can’t protect yourselves, how do you expect to protect my planet.”

“So you’d rather pledge allegiance to a murderous sociopathic regime?” Poe questioned rudely, fed up with her attitude.

“I’d do whatever it takes to save my people.” She argued back, turning her full attention towards him. “We are a peaceful planet, there is not much we can do to arm ourselves outside of diplomacy, and right now, the First Order is being very convincing.”

“They’re lying to you.” Poe argued heartedly, surprising her with his attitude, she wasn’t used to this kind of outward disrespect.

“And you’ve been doing what exactly for the past years of our alliance?” She questioned, stepping up against Poe in a fit of annoyance.

“Whatever they’re promising you, they’re lying. They’ll exploit your home, steal your resources and take over. You have to know that.” Poe argued back, stepping forward and backing Leia unwillingly out of the conversation.

“They’ve promised me protection and have been nothing but cordial, unlike you.” She said, shaking her head with a chuckle of disbelief, stepping back away a foot to clear the air between them. “So I would watch your tone before you overstep.”

“You’re worried about niceness? People are dying.” He didn’t think he was as loud as he was, but people began to take notice. “The first order is manipulating you and you’re letting them.” Poe argued back loudly, taking another step towards her, grabbing her arm to stop her, though it soon looked like it might be the last step he would take as the guards stepped up from behind the princess. Leia stopped his movement before the guards even got there, reigning him back.

“Stand down, Dameron.” Leia ordered strongly, pulling him back as the guards approached.

“No, I think the damage has been done, General.” She added, brushing a long strand of her hair from her face before waving the guards all the way forward, watching intently as they each grabbed for one of the pilot’s arms.

“What the hell are you doing?” Poe asked violently as he tried to rip his arms away.

“Your highness, please-“ Leia attempted but it was clear the princess wasn’t having it.

“Let him think over his words with a sleep in our jail.” She argued back, dismissing her guards who pulled Poe away kicking and fighting but no match for her strong guards.

“Are you out of your mind?” Poe shouted, attracting attention but she looked un-phased.

“No but seems like you are.” She argued back before turning to face Leia. “I’m sorry, but you brought him here. You can leave with him after he’s learned his lesson.”

She walked off, gently grabbing a worker and ordering them to direct Leia to a room for her to stay in, not wanting her brought by guard out of respect, not wanting to make her feel like a prisoner.

She walked back to the throne room, directing the assistants that quickly swarmed her to make Leia feel at home and give her regular updates on her new prisoner. Then she eagerly dismissed them, allowing her some alone time in her throne room.

The room had high ceilings and huge windows, ushering in the glow of the planet, covering her dark wooded chair. She collapsed into the chair as her minions dispersed, releasing a heavy sigh, rubbing her temples.

She wanted to agree with Leia and the hot headed pilot, she really did. She wasn’t ignorant, she knew the resistance was the morally right choice in terms of saving the Galaxy but she had to think about her people and her planet.

The first order members she had been communicating with ensured that her planet would be safe as long as they promised to turn away the resistance and provide safe harbor for some of their ships.

What was she supposed to do?

[circuitousgrievance]

KANKRI: -Its been a lot. Everything. Everything ever has been a lot and Kankri isnt quite sure he knows what he feels right now as he sits outside right near the entrance of the ship. Ideally maybe the air would clear his head and he could think a little better about what it is he should be doing now that this whole nightmare is over.-

GAMZEE: =Whitenoise, all of it. His head has been worse for the duration of this experience. All emotions and thoughts he can't get a hold of, arrange in any kind of comprehensible fashion, or simply allow to settle. It's been a stupor of anger and helplessness, and he's struggling to cope. With himself and everything around. With everyone around. He's been out walking again, more or less in a daze trying to outspeed the hazy flickering at the back of his mind seeping into the corners of his vision. It's frizzing even now as he spots Kankri sitting outside.= 

GAMZEE: =Ultimately, after just watching for a little, he walks on over to him to plop down by his side. He doesn't look at him, instead trying to catch what Kankri might be looking at out in the air.= mind trailing on the breeze?

KANKRI: -He is not quite looking at anything in particular, probably that rock several yards away. He doesnt much react when Gamzee sits down next to him, but he does briefly glance at him.- Yes. 

KANKRI: Very much s9.

KANKRI: H9w are y9u?

GAMZEE: =A very interesting rock then, since they are both looking at it. He shrugs a shoulder.= LIKELY AS FINE AS ANY OTHER MOTHER FUCKER LEFT AFTER THIS HORROR SHOW. 

GAMZEE: regardless ain't me what i be of concern on now. =Looks at him finally (guess the rock wasn't that interesting after all). Instead of asking if he's okay, a stupid and pointless question, he wraps one arm around his shoulders in a one armed hug.=

KANKRI: -He thinks an interesting rock, in fact boy that rock is damn awe inspiring just look at how his eyes start to water a little when Gamzee wraps an arm around him, all for that rock, boy.- 

KANKRI: -He does briefly tense up during the initial embrace but only for a moment before his muscles relax and he leans against Gamzee.-

GAMZEE: =The rock is truly an inspiration to us all... He simply holds his arm on him in a loose drape while Kankri tenses, only pulling him in against him once he's relaxed and leaning. Fingers rub against Kankri's shoulder in slow steady motions, his cheek resting against the top of Kankri's head. He's never been good with words, not even after the supor left his system. They're caught in his chest, and for now he doesn't know if he's capable of fishing it out. Instead he speaks with a gentle squeeze to Kankri's shoulders, giving what comfort he could.=

KANKRI: -The silence is really appreciated, more and more lately Kankri found himself not wanting to spend the energy on the words he usually gushed out. Simple was fine, simple was better. And after a minute or so of this, and a few silently shed tears, Kankri slowly straightens himself up and wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.- 

KANKRI: I'm fine. Its 9kay.

GAMZEE: =The tight grip on him loosens somewhat once he straightens, letting him move as he liked. Gamzee watches him wipe his tears, turning more towards him to let his free hand touch his cheek. Thumb swiping below his eye, catching tears.= YOU AIN'T. 

 GAMZEE: but ain't no crime in having youself be so.

KANKRI: -No, his cheek is gross with the wetness of his weakness.- 

KANKRI: -But still thats a really sweet gesture and he reaches his hand up to take Gamzee's and hold it.- Well I'm g9ing t9 6e fine. 

 KANKRI: Its just a matter 9f waiting it 9ut, which I will d9. In the mean time I can f9cus 9n h9w thankful I am that this is 9ver and I w9nt 6e l9sing any9ne else.

GAMZEE: =Crying isn't weakness, but whatever floats his boat. He twines their fingers together, not saying anything straight away as his words swirl around in his pan. The whitenoise is more insistant. He has to wet his lips before speaking, gaze flitting off just to the side of Kankri's face then back again.= 

GAMZEE: DOUBT HE NEEDING ON HAVING ME TELL HIM THAT SIMPLE WAIT WITH FEELINGS UNPROCESSED AND ADRESSED AIN'T HOW A MOTHER FUCKER BEST HANDLE HIM SHIT. 

GAMZEE: requires work, adressin', have a real time to break apart then build back on up anew.

KANKRI: Perhaps that is true, 6ut currently my moirail is unc9nci9us and s9 at the very least Im just g9ing t9 have t9 wait until I get t9 adressing any 9f it. -Its a good excuse.-

GAMZEE: =Squeezes his hand.= CANNOT LET THEM FEELS FESTER WITH LINGERING CLAWS, BROTHER. 

GAMZEE: find on ways to give release elsewise while john rest.

GAMZEE: =He scoots closer, eyes firmly set on his.= WAYS OF ESCAPING-- RETREATIN', FIND SOME PLACE WHERE ALL AIN'T SO MUCH WHAT IT BE. 

GAMZEE: for a time, not always, until it good.

KANKRI: -Turns to meet his deep purple gaze with his own duller red, and he listens to him and tries to grasp the concept of those words.- 

KANKRI: Are y9u suggesting t9 me attempts 9f meditiati9n?

GAMZEE: =It's frustrating how he can't seem to make people understand, much less himself. The idea was already there, he knew, but all this time he'd been teethering. Unsure whether to do one thing or the next. He had never made true desicions for himself, where to go, other than... Ones that lead him to other people, make connections he so longed for. This time it was nothing like that, a desicion that would lead to more loneliness he had thought, but maybe it didn't have to.= ESCAPE IT BE WHAT I SUGGEST, PHYSICAL AS BE SPIRITUAL. 

GAMZEE: have a way aways from here, noise and mofos suffering louder than what they dare speak, than what they dare spill from headspace feeling on too heavy for themselves. 

GAMZEE: AS OF PATH WE NOW DO TRAVEL, TIME WILL COME WHEN A MOTHERFUCKER CANNOT KEEP HIS STEPS, AS WHAT WICKED NOISE ROLLS IN HIM FEELS AND MIND BE TOO PIERCING.

KANKRI: -His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he hears out the idea, and then it hits him what Gamzee is proposing and suddenly his stomach is swirling and it feels like up and down might be switched.- 

KANKRI: .....Leaving. -He needs to say it just in his own voice, for clarity. And he briefly flashes back to his last sugar high and all the rambling about living on Avalon and finally escaping the misery that followed this ship. It was still such an intoxicating thought and dream, but without the drug jacking up his heart rate and erasing the emotional and responsibility tethers he had here... Kankri found the idea a gut churning bitter sweet.-

KANKRI: I... Leaving the ship. Leaving every9ne else.

KANKRI: I d9n't think that I...can. J9hn will never leave and. 

KANKRI: And then there is Porrim, and Horuss, and-- -He swallows.-

KANKRI: I kn9w I'm n9t much use t9 this crew 6ut we've c9me this far while I d9nt really 6elieve t99 hard it fate I still feel like there is reas9n t9 stay, t9 keep seeing where it leads.

GAMZEE: =His eyes are searching, confused, even after Kankri is done explaining. His knuckles whitening at how tightly he is holding his hand, then easing the grip once he realises how tightly he'd hold the hand resting in his. It wasn't a surprising answer. He'd expected it frankly, but there had still been that brief flash of hope that he didn't have to start over. That someone would be with him. It's a selfish request, he knew it deep down. One that couldn't be done. Still, apart from his desire to not be alone, he did want for Kankri to be happy. To find some peace. He laughs airly, shaking his head.= ain't useless, all peeps got some use in them for one or other. 

GAMZEE: DON'T SUGGEST ON LEAVING FOREVER, AIN'T WHAT-- MOTHER FUCK. 

GAMZEE: ain't what i'm saying at yous, or... what it be i is suggest. 

GAMZEE: JUST 'TIL ON AIN'T HURT NO MORE. 

GAMZEE: 'tils you don't cry or feel like you ain't you and none is right.

KANKRI: -He did wince a little from the strength of the grip, but since Gamzee stopped soon enough he didnt say anything or pull his hand away.-  

KANKRI: -He does need to look away though, feeling the tightness in his stomach rapidly crawling up into his chest at the flashes of upset he can see in Gamzee's face.- As great as that s9unds, (fuck) as amazing and h9pefull as that s9unds. Leaving isnt g9ing t9 make me feel 6etter, Gamzee. 

 KANKRI: I already tried leaving my pr96lems 9nce, and thats h9w I ended up 9n this ship in the first place. I just-- -He pauses a moment to take a breath and force himself to look at Gamzee again, just really take in the sight of this troll sitting next to him, being there for him, pestering and pushing him to get better.- I can't leave. I d9nt want t9.

GAMZEE: =It hurts hearing that, and it hurts more feeling how he's getting angry about it. Angry that Kankri is saying no, that he has so little hold on his temper, angry that his wistful fantasies so rarely come true. He knows it isn't right to demand it, to expect it, nor to get angry over him telling him no. The whitenoise is overpowering, and he swallows. He wonders if he is doing the same thing, that when presented with the option to "take a break to heal" by Tavros he wasn't actually going to do so. That he was just finding another way of escapism. Gamzee's jaw sets tightly, as if he wants  to yell (and he wants to), something stinging painfully at his eyes and then... His expression falls, tension gone, but with apathy in it's place. The one safespace he had left.= 

GAMZEE: KNOW YOU BEST, THAT HOW IT FALL IN THE END OF ALL THINGS. 

GAMZEE: ain't forcin' you to do none what you don't wish, can't push mine careless shit so far. 

GAMZEE: =He swipes a thumb over Kankri's knuckles slowly, then lets go of his hand all together to wrap his arms around his own knees. Eyes back to the rock over yonder.= 

 GAMZEE: =The rock holds no answers to his thoughts, of what might be right, instead he spills the truth as it is. Harsh and all.= 

 GAMZEE: ONCE WE ALLS MORE SKYBOUND, A TRASHASS CLOWN WILL BE NONE MORE.

KANKRI: -That split moment of anger in Gamzee is shocking, it threw Kankri off to see it but at the very least its ebbing away and so Kankri can release the breath of anxiety he didnt know he was holding onto. However when Gamzee releases his hand he almost tries to grab it back, but no, he hesitates and then lowers it.- 

KANKRI: .................... -It was what he had been starting to fear over the course of this conversation. Obviously he couldn't stop Gamzee from leaving anymore then he could convince him against staying. And it sucked. It actually physically hurt and suddenly Kankri feels extremely winded and like his entire body is burning and there isnt any real way to stop it. He wont cry though, hes not going to cry now. He just swallows it down a dry throat, and turns his gaze forward again.- 

KANKRI: If thats what y9u want then 9kay. 

KANKRI: ...I will miss y9u.

GAMZEE: =His fists clench as he sits there. Only briefly as the nonsensical swill of grief and anger rises in his throat, only to be pushed down again. He keeps his eyes focused on the rock to keep from going back on what he's saying. What he is going to do.= 

GAMZEE: =He laughs, humorless.= ain't what i want. 

GAMZEE: BUT IS WHAT I IS NEEDING. 

GAMZEE: can't go on up and witnessing these sickening displays, have them what matter torn apart while own pan make none sense. 

GAMZEE: SPEAK OF USELESS THEN IF THERE BE ONE HE NEED LOOK NONE FURTHER THAN HERE. =Taps a finger to his temple.= 

GAMZEE: more in the now than before, be what i is slow to realise. 

GAMZEE: BRING ON MY OWN ASS UNDONE, TO CONTINUE THIS HERE PATH WHICH I TAKE. 

GAMZEE: thus bring on all else what mattering to me. 

GAMZEE: =Sighs shakily, swallowing thickly.= SO IT MUST BE, THAT I STRAY. GAMZEE: =His voice shakes now, angry and upset.= but never don't come at me like that. 

GAMZEE: THINKING IT SOME SHIT I GONE UP CRAVE AND WANT. GAMZEE: for none less true. 

GAMZEE: =Rubs his face, turning to Kankri with his voice more level.= YOUS MATTER, STILL DO, WON'T STOP. 

GAMZEE: don't think i ain't true in that.

KANKRI: Right. N9, I kn9w. -He still doesnt look at him and keeps turned away.- 

 KANKRI: We are 69th d9ing what we need t9. I hate that circumstances are what they are and that every day its wearing d9wn every9ne that much m9re. 6ut I understand y9u want-- needing t9 leave. 

 KANKRI: I w9uldnt want y9u t9 stay and risk y9urself anym9re then I w9uld h9pe y9u w9uld feel if the r9les were reversed.

KANKRI: I'm angry. I d9nt like it. 6ut that has n9thing t9 d9 with y9u, and it w9uld 6e selfish 9f me t9 h9ld any anam9sity t9wards y9u f9r it. S9 I d9n't.

GAMZEE: RATHER YOU UP AND SPILL WHAT FURIOSITY YOU GOT AT A CLOWN. 

GAMZEE: than keep it on inside with the rest.

KANKRI: -He finally looks at him again and when he does Gamzee can see his face is red and he scowls and snaps.- I just t9ld y9u I d9nt!!

KANKRI: ........have any. -Takes a deep breath and tries to settle himself.-

GAMZEE: =He's watching him, the whitenoise overpowering and the apathy fully settled.= 

 GAMZEE: AND IF SHIT BE TRUTH, THEN SKIES BE GREEN AND GRASS BLUE.

KANKRI: UGH! D9 y9u want me t9 6e angry with y9u?? T9 6e upset and yell? What g99d w9uld that h9nestly d9 f9r either 9f us right n9w!

GAMZEE: to let it go.

KANKRI: May6e I d9nt want t9! 9r at the very least end it all with us screaming at each 9ther.

GAMZEE: GOT ALL RIGHTS TO BE ANGRY, WON'T UP AND TELL ON YOU TO BE ELSEWISE. 

GAMZEE: only have none want to know i leave when words are unsaid. GAMZEE: FILL ON NOTHING BUT REGRET.

KANKRI: 9kay fine. Then I'll say it. -He huffs and folds his arms tightly.- KANKRI: I am angry. Furi9us. At y9u f9r saying y9ure g9ing t9 leave, and its stupid and childish 6ut it feels like y9u are leaving just me and- 

 KANKRI: And it hurts! It hurts 6ecause it makes me wish we never g9t inv9lved 6ecause then I w9uldn't 6e feeling like calling y9u a c9ward 9r 9ther h9rri6le things purely 9ut 9f pers9nal spite. 6ecause as much as I want t9 reas9n with myself that y9u getting away fr9m all this is the 6est p9ssi6le thing f9r y9u I can't help 6ut feel resentment t9wards y9u and its n9t fair t9 either 9f us and that just manages t9 get me even m9re angry a69ut the wh9le thing!!

GAMZEE: =In one way apathy really hurts, it makes you numb and nothing... Nothing matters or feels remotely real, but at the same time it can serve as a comfort. A protection against things that are too much. It's the latter now, a comfort as he simply takes it. Takes the anger Kankri is spilling over him.= GAMZEE: cannot blame you on your feels, brother. 

GAMZEE: IF ROLES WERE IN REVERSE, KNOW WELL ON HAVE HIMSELF THE SIMILAR STIRRINGS IN MINESELF. 

GAMZEE: feel anger on mine own ass as were, that i ain't more right in the pan. 

GAMZEE: STRONGER OR BETTER, MORE KNOWING ON ALLS THIS SHIT WHAT SPILL. 

GAMZEE: but i ain't, and that what i hate. 

GAMZEE: THAT WHAT I NEED. 

GAMZEE: to figure on out. 

GAMZEE: SO CAN BE SOMEONE I AIN'T HATE, THAT CAN BE SOMEONE WHO KNOW MORE HOW TO BE OF ASSIST TO THOSE WHAT MATTER TO ME. 

GAMZEE: so can feel more like i is normal.

KANKRI: -He knows this, he understands it, and hell he even agrees with it. But it still does nothing to settle the swirl of horrible emotions inside of his chest and mind.- 

KANKRI: (I kn9w.) -He hisses out through gritted teeth and then wills himself to calm again, he said his piece, there is no more reason to continue to throw that anger when it will do nothing to solve the problem.- 

 KANKRI: I want y9u t9 get 6etter. And then perhaps when y9u are, tell me.

GAMZEE: =Watches him hiss, then looks away.= 

GAMZEE: STILL PLAN ON GIVING PESTERS. 

GAMZEE: tell on how i do, how you do, for ain't much crueler thing i can be think of than leave all in silence. 

GAMZEE: UNLESS SO HE WISH OF ME.

KANKRI: N9. I w9uldnt wish that 9f y9u. 

KANKRI: 6ut. I need time t9 reflect 9n this and 9ther things....

GAMZEE: so i realise. =Looks back to him, an extended pause before speaking.=

 GAMZEE: STILL. TIME DO REMAIN IN SPACE BETWEEN HERE AND NOT. 

GAMZEE: don't need be "see you later" just on yet, as i remain. 

GAMZEE: BUT IT IS FOR YOUR FEELS TO DECIDE ON. 

GAMZEE: whatever picked, clown do comply.

KANKRI: -He simply nods.- Right. 

KANKRI I'll 6e keeping y9u updated then. 

 KANKRI: -And with that he risks touching their shoulders together, leaning into him. Even if he is angry, and hurting and sad, Kankri wont let it ruin this one last moment where he can have that comfort.-

GAMZEE: =Again, the hope comes creeping, and he hopes that they will be able to have good... Or at least civil days, without bitterness and anger, until the day comes for his departure. A fake hollow sense of peace maybe, knowing that it's coming to an end, but better than the alternative he thinks. With Kankri leaning, he leans back, arm coming back around him carefully. Hand hovering above his shoulder, hesitating, before placing it on him.=