#like. no further comment. this is SUCH a dogwarts song

[theminecraftbee]

25 for the wrapped drabble!

25: "Bremen", PigPen Theater Co.

It was part of the plan, everbody would stand On their hind legs, hands holding high the other Like a tower of brothers, and the one on the top Would crow warnings and call in the morning And call out the storm that was coming The one on the bottom would steer 'til the road was clear And people would learn to rejoice and to fear our coming

It is, ironically, a mild, wet temperature over Dogwarts, the sort of weather that mostly feels dreary rather than being properly cold, or snowy, or icy, or any of the sorts of things that the kinds of people who claim to bring forth winter would be expected to have over their fortress.

"Oh, come on, you've gotta be cheating!" says Skizz, throwing his cards down on the table. They're stained a strange purple. "Dippledop, tell them that he's cheating."

"I mean, I don't know, Skizz," Impulse says. "You aren't good enough at cheating to have taught me how to spot it..."

"I mean, you're the one marking cards," Martyn says idly.

"You know I can't help it!" says Skizz. "It's my ender-what's-its. My purple scales. My, my general, uh, what's a good word for it -"

"Ourple," Etho says.

"What?" Impulse says.

"He's ourple," Etho says, and then doesn't elaborate at all.

"You know, if you're going to accuse me of cheating, why not accuse him?" Martyn says. "I mean, look at him. He's wearing a mask while we're playing poker. That's basically against the rules."

"I don't have a face, man," Etho says.

"Did you mean -" Big B starts. Impulse puts a hand on his leg. Big B stops.

"I'm just saying," Martyn says, as he takes the distraction as an excuse to palm one of the cards using and replace it with a king he's been keeping in a pocket. He knows the king won't be suspicious largely because he's been keeping track of the cards Skizz has had, and the king he's about to put in his hand is the same one that Skizz had three hands earlier.

Martyn is going to win, like, so many meaningless favors from people who are all definitely going to die before Martyn can call them in, but hey. He's definitely going to die before he has a chance to worry about it, either.

(At one point, it had been about winning. He's good at cheating.)

"You know what, yeah! That is cheating! Show us your face, huh, Etho?" says Skizz, pointing dramatically. Big B snorts into his cards.

"Uh, I mean, I don't know, man," Etho says, putting his hands up and nervously backing up. "It's like - you know I don't take this off..."

"Actually, yeah," Impulse says. "I sorta wanna see you try to keep a poker face. Take it off, Etho."

"Woah, woah boys. I know we're all friends here, but I don't know if I'm ready for a strip tease," Martyn says, which makes Etho turn bright red, and also makes Big B flustered enough that Martyn can see his hand. Okay, that's not a threat. Not that Big B's a threat to anyone, really, but he's still green for a reason.

Skizz isn't a threat for a completely different reason. His heart's right there on his sleeve. He has a shit hand this round. He gave that given that well away the moment he drew it.

That leaves Etho and Impulse to figure out.

"I - oh, geez, guys," Etho says. "I -"

"Take it off!" Skizz starts chanting. "Take it off! Take it off!"

"I'm - I like you guys, but I'm not taking off my mask!" Etho says. "Impulse, Impulse, we're buddies. You should understand!"

"Yeah, but like..." Impulse says, before shrugging. "I mean, if it really upsets you, I guess... Guys, maybe we should stop."

"Naw, don't try to talk him out of it!" Skizz says.

"Haha, you know, I want to see it too," Big B says. "It's a bonding thing, right?"

"Oh, well you can't argue with the bonding thing, now can you," Martyn says.

"Guys," Impulse starts saying, and then there's the sound of a creaking door, and everyone stops at once as the courtyard changes from dreary and wet to a certain chill. If Martyn didn't know any better, he'd say it's the chill of the grave, but there hadn't ever been any for him, so. Probably not.

Instead, it's just...

"My loyal Dogwarts," says Ren, quietly. "What is all of this commotion about?"

"We're playing cards, My Lord," Martyn says immediately. "See?"

He shows his hand to Ren. Ren chuckles.

"Well, laddie. Show me how you win at cards."

Well, the answer to that's 'by cheating'. But he can't really show Ren that, now can he? He's got to keep some things in his pocket. Besides, it's not like any of the favors in the pot matter.

They're all gonna die before they matter. Some of them already are.

Martyn loses the hand to Impulse. He collects the favors with a sheepish grin. Ren barks out a laugh. "You'll get them next time, laddie."

"I'm sure I will," Martyn says.

"Mom, Ren's playing favorites," Etho whines.

"That's - that's unbecoming a knight of -"

"Yeah, Ren's playing favorites," Big B says.

"I mean, dudes, uh, I mean - my loyal Dogwarts -"

Martyn laughs so hard that he forgets to pay attention, and loses the next hand too.