#lil bit of meat lil bit of fruit yum yum yum

[cappurrccino]

i need a hundred bajillion dollars and an infinite supply of dried/cured/smoked snacking meats

[caribwolfie]

Both men’s and women’s “tastes” are affected by diet and hygiene. Obviously, cleanliness is important. But when it comes to lady bits, keep it simple: very gentle soap and water. The vagina has it’s own ways of cleaning and keeping things running smoothly. Eating yogurt regularly or taking a probiotic will keep you healthy and balanced downstairs. Don’t douche. Not good for your puss. Men: keep your junk clean too. Sweaty penis does not taste or smell very delicious ((ONIONS))

As for diet, same ideas work for both men and women. The goal is to make it sweeter rather than salty or bitter. If you want to be an extra tasty treat,

TRY:

lotssss of fresh fruit, especially pineapple and mango

plenty of water

fruit juice, esp cranberry and pineapple (healthy note!: get real cranberry juice, not cocktail. Cocktail is all sugar. Real cranberry juice is reallllly strong so you have to mix a few splash with water and then it’s yum. With sparkling water it’s extra yum)

coconut water

AVOID:

cigarettes

coffee

beer

meat

asparagus

onions

garlic

Basically, if it makes your pee and/or breath smell funny, it will probably make your come/juices not as yummy. Aw, that’s a cute lil rhyme. I should put that on a plaque and sell it.

Important: it’s unnecessary to change your whole diet just to taste better, and who’s to say you don’t taste great already? Everyone has a different flavor, don’t obsess over yours. And if you’re curious about your taste try a sample. It won’t kill you.

Happy tasting!

[coffee-and-kilometres-blog]

What are your typical daily meals? Do you eat according some sort of diet (ex. vegan, vegetarian, paleo etc.)?

Hmm I don’t think there is a label for my diet. I don’t eat dairy or meat, fish being the exception, and I eat eggs. I aim to get at least 100g of protein per day or else I find I don’t recover well between training sessions.  

Here’s typically what/ how I eat: 

Oats for breakfast every day:

About half a cup quick oats with about a cup of berries, half a banana, 1 tbsp PB and then I sprinkle a little bit of coconut flakes/pumpkin seeds/hemp seeds/ whatever and pour some soy milk on there. I also have a big mug of coffeeee

If I snack between brekkie and lunch I’ll be grapes or an apple with a fruit and nut bar (Kind or Lara bar) 

Lunch 

One piece of some fancy sprouted grain high protein bread with sauteed mushrooms, spinach, 1 egg + maybe 100g of egg whites. Salsa and maybe some canned beans if I have them on hand. 

I usually have a bowl of cereal after lunch 

If I have training in the evening I will have another snack beforehand, usually PB on a rice cake with banana and coffee. 

Dinner

Either a salmon filet with sweet potato and some green veggies like Brussels sprouts, peas, or broccoli. Lil bit of coconut oil and salt. 

or

Tofu or shrimp green Thai curry- I crispy up some tofu (or shrimp) in coconut oil then add some red pepper and broccoli with maybe 1/4c lite coconut milk and curry paste. Once the sauce has boiled down a little I add a little cooked jasmine rice and lots of frozen peas. SO yum! 

I always have some sort of “healthy” dessert like some dark chocolate or another bowl of cereal. 

Thanks for your question! 

xx

[ritingsandwramblings]

Tom and Jerry: a story told by Jess at modnght when shes fucking losing it

so to give you a taste of what happens when i write late at night, heres what happened last time i turned off autocorrect and wrote at 2 am.

*backstory: my friend asked for an essay prompt so i said “prostitute falls in love with her recent customer: a pineapple” bc i was already tired and losing it and she was like “ok essay on pineapples” and said something in her essay for class “my friend jess is currently writing a story about a pineapple. it is very good” anyway i daid “what if the pineapples the prostitute” and she said “DUCK” bc typo so i decided the customer would be a duck named tom (bc we decided the pineapples name was jerry lmao) so here yall go look forwsrd to the pen15 fic tomorrow morning when i wake up and reread and remember what i did lmao

••••

“Who is Jerry to you? To some, he was just a pineapple, one you would skin and eat with other fruits yum yum slurp. But jerry was more than just a pineapple to m to me he was my friend my besyest friend. jerry was a kind souk. he was the sweetest pineapple i ever darn did meat lol. it all started the many years aho when i first met jerry…

"hey bois wanna prace of this sweet poneapple ass i make ur cum taste like gods piss you knownyou want that bby” jerry called to various passerbys on the bussy street. he didnt want his life to come to this knviously but he was a poor lil poneapple dude and needed the money somehow and in this day and age mobody would hire a pienapple like him everybody wanted to hire bananas and grapes these days. jerry was just happy the apples were off the market man did he hate competing against apples. they aalways thought they were so perfect because they were round amd shiny and a pretty dark shade of red or sometimes they were a pretty shiny green and yellow and the green snd yellow ones tasted discisting but they didnt care they thought they were the shit. they were so happy about theyre lil botch ass woden stems and made fun of jerry bc of his big ass leafy stem. it hurt jerrys feelings and he wished that he wasnt distantly related to the apples they wrre like second cousins twice temoved or some shit but still he shared a name woth them. he wished hcould be pinekiwi instead man the kiwis were hella cool unlike the bitch ass apples. suddly, a duck walked by. he was walking to a nearby lemonade stand to buy some grapes bc he was stuck in 2011 when he noticed jerry selling hid hot ass pornapplr body on the street cornee. he was instantly distracted from his previous missio of getting some hot ass grapes when he saw jerry. his spikeh yellow spokes. his long hreen leaves. everything about jerry made this duck wanna cross the streey so he did.

“ay tou walkin or workin baby” the duck called to the pineapple. the pineapple turned and blished.

“im working but i guess i could walk for you,” jerry giggled ad twirled a leaf making a seductive seg deg face at the duck, “whats your name bby?”

“im tom, and you are?”

“jerry. but you can all me big papple. its like pineapple but just the p and then apple and it sorta looks like papi get it lol”

“oh yeah i got it baby, how much you charge?”

“no charge for tou, for now bbay”

“in thta case lets fo”

jerey followed tom back to his place the two amking out once they got there with lots of tongue idk how kissing works bc im megavirgin™ but go with it. tom quacked in excitement as jerry ruffled his feathers literally. tom ran his beek through jerrys leafs, the two noth groaning ar the action. the two had logs of fun ifyaknowhatimean for a while and laid there happily. tom fell asleep and jerry looked lovingly at him but then was sad bc he was just a prostitute and he couldnt sgay with tom he needed money. so he left without a note or goodbye and cried as he walked to a new dtreet corner hoping tom wouldnt find him again.

jerry had many more custmers since he left tom. jerry hadnt seen tom since but tom watched jerry from afar bit it wasnt creepy he loved jerry and watched him bc he wanted to slirp his yum yum yummyness. one day jerry started to look worn down and tired after being a prositute to some scummy cucumber. tom risked everything and walked up to jerry askig ifmjerry was okay.

“jerry?”

“t-tom senpai!?” jerry stutterdd and di a anime gasp like “uh-hUH”

“yes its me jerry im sorry i couldnt just let you goni had to know youre safe are you okay baby”

“mo bby im sorry i got the hiv from a rotten old cucumner but he paid good morny but im not gonna libe so take the money tom ily”

“oh shit ilyt jerry” tom said. he leaned in for a kis agter taling the money when suddenly jerry droped his lesfs hitting the floor. he was ded he died from the cucumber hiv.

“NKOOOOOOOOOO” tom yelle as passerbys watched and slowly sang.

“mmmmmm watchaa sayuyyyyy mmmmr hat you only meant weellllll” they sang…

jerry and is love was short but it was meaningful. i may just be a duck and he may be a pineapple but together we were the romro and hulejt of modern times man and ill never get over losing my papple" jerry wiped a tear from his eye and ran from the cuneral service quaking about the loss of his papple.

chapter 2 coming soon…

*edit this was copied and pasted straigt from my notes so idk if midnight me will write a chapter two lmao

[napavale]

Ummm my type of night! Movie 🎥 Popcorn 🍿 & some JCB Rosé🍾! There's always a time and a reason for some Rosé! 🍷 🍷 A lil' bit of info on this vinito: JCB Nº 5 Rosé is selected in honor of @jc_boisset sister, Nathalie, it's her favorite number and her favorite region to visit to inspire and energize her free-spirit – Provence! 🍇 🍇 Pairs well with- Meats & Fish: Grilled Prawns, Red Mullet w/Fennel Cheese & Nuts: Fromage Fort Fruits & Vegetables: Roasted Beet Salad Sauces: Olive Oil & Balsamic Vinegar Grains: Focaccia Loaf, Mushroom Quiche 😋 And popcorn 🍿 ‼️ 👩🏻‍💻 👨🏼‍💻 Learn more about the @jcb_collection at https://my.boissetcollection.com/wendybarba/wine/2015-no-5 . . #rosewine #rosé #wine #vino #vinotinto #jcb #jcb5 #boissetcollection #winelovers #winelove #napa #napavalley #provence #france #yum #yummy #querico #napavale #napavalegirl #popcorn #winepairing (at Napa, California)