Lilia in Malleus's history book
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TWST Incorrect quotes#648 Sassy mal
Lilia comes home absolutely drunk from a party with his old army veterans, undresses, and stands in Your Shared bedroom
Yuu*Blinks seeing He has been standing still for five minutes* Babe, are you...coming to bed?
Lilia*Still out of it, but shakes head*-No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a spouse and three adorable baby boys
Lilia*Lies on the ground and falls asleep*ZZZZzzzz
Yuu:...
-Next Morning-
Mal*Apperance of a 10-year-old, Holding baby Sebek who is wide awake, Holding the hand of one-year-old Silver who is still drowsy*Why is Lilia crying on the floor?
Yuu*Prepping breakfast for them*Because... apparently because i wasnt the first thing he saw when he woke up, I tried to get him in bed but he kept saying "NO!!!-IM MARRIED!!!" and kept hissing at me when I wanted to touch him...so I kinda just let him do as he please
Mal*Lets go of Sebek on the floor and push Silver in Lilia's direction, seeing the two crawl to him patting his back to comfort the old fae*Divorce is an option
Lilia*Glares, and gasps offended at Malleus'comment, cheek being kissed by Baby Silver and ear being nommed by sebek*MALLEUS DRACONIA-
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3:46Pm
Malleus: How to cook?
Malleus: Teach me how to cook
Malleus: How to not set food on fire?
Malleus: What good Dinner?
Malleus: How to cook good dinner
Malleus: How to tell when chicken is cooked?
4:15Pm
Yuu: Malleus I am not Google
Malleus: Oh....
Malleus:....
Malleus: Who is google?
Malleus: How to get onto Google?
Malleus: Where is Google?
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I know the fandom jokes about Malleus not getting the memo about twst not being an otome game but hear me out for a sec-
For the life of him, Malleus Draconia does not know what the fuck an otome game is so just imagine him overhearing Yuu say that shit.
Yuu is probably with Idia (bc gamer terminology things) and they’re discussing otome. Yuu brings up bits and pieces of their conversation with Malleus and Idia is like, “Wtf, he sounds like the main love interest” and Yuu is like “ikr”
Cue Malleus leaving and going to Lilia asking if he speaks like the main love interest of an otome before going what is an otome.
Lilia has a field day with this.
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I JUST REALIZED THE REASON DIASOMNIA IS CALLED WHAT IT IS BECAUSE IT'S MEANT TO SOUND LIKE DYSSOMNIA WHICH IS A SLEEPING DISORDER WHERE THE PATIENT HAS TROUBLE FALLING ASLEEP OR STAYING ASLEEP
reblog if you were today years old when you found this out like me
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my favorite genre in media is cursed food that always depicted with purple color and blurry pixels
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