#lilith in her 'i just wanna be her friend' era

[whaledocboi]

“You don’t have to be happy, you know,” Lilith mentions offhand, helping Camila up. “I am beating you to a bloody pulp. You are not required to enjoy all aspects of the training.”

“I do enjoy spending time with you; the beatings, less so.”

“Good, I was beginning to worry you’re some kind of masochist.”

“She just said she enjoys spending time with you, she’s definitely a masochist,” Mary calls out in greeting. “Show me what you’ve learned, baby girl.” Mary does a combo punch and leg sweep that Camila deftly blocks and avoids. “Good! We should set you up with Beatrice, get you beat up in a whole new way.”

“Um, OK?”

“Mary always steals my most promising sparring partners and gives them to Beatrice; it was only a matter of time,” Lilith sighs.

“Shan needs you for something; less whining, more sister warrior-ing. I’ll take Camila to the range, see how she does with one eye swollen shut.”

“Thank you for the spar, Sister Lilith.”

“You’re welcome. Keep your left guard up; Mary is sneaky.”

“How dare you imply I would surprise attack her on the way to the range!”

“Would you?” Camila asks.

“Absolutely, baby girl. Let’s go!”

fuck yeah, thank you anon, im stiching these together like a frankenstein monster, please absolutely do keep it up (if this is one person. actually im not sure. doesnt matter)

its like camila saying "i enjoy spending time with you" didnt even register to lilith at first, and then after 5something minutes she's like "wait, what" (tfw someone hits on you and you only realize it a year later)

"you dont have to be happy. like seriously. dont keep smiling at me and be nice, i do not know what to do with that. no, stop, stop it immediately, because one day i'll wake up with the terrible horrible realization that i've fallen in love with you." - lilith probably

then one day mary probably will napalm her with the "wow do you have a crush on her or something with the way you talk about her all the time" and lilith is mortified because that cant be, i should find everything about this little guy unbearable and annoying and YET

camila on the other hand would just ask beatrice once like "do you think lilith hates me? i cant ever tell if she cares for what i say or wants to knock all my teeth out" and beatrice would go "im dont know what exactly she thinks of you, but she offers to help you up after sparring and she also willingly speaks to you for no apparent reason, and she hasnt done that since. forever basically."

and yippee, cam finally feels at home and less alone and surrounded by people she likes and cares for. i sure do hope nothing will happen to them.

[lovingaquarius]

My own little astrology observations ;p

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️

this is completely based on my personal experiences and observations do not take what i say literally i am NOT a professional astrologer 🫶

jj and kiara from “outer banks” are the PERFECT example of a leo and aquarius duo and the best thing is rudy is a LEO IN RL and madison is an AQUARIUS 😩 kinda wanna do a separate post on this…

idk if any other gemini moons like watching reaction videos but i love them sm (this may be a gem placement thing overall)

i feel like sag moons favorite tv/movie genre is comedy/adventure. my brother is a gem sun, sag moon and he refuses to watch scary movies, even tho he’s a scorpio rising?? then again he will fall ASLEEP to scary stories on yt??

heavy aqua placements may make you hard to read to people or seem unpredictable

7h moon synastry may make you and your partner feel like you can feel eachothers emotions or know what they’re thinking/going to say

10h lilith ppl need to get used to people talking ab you, rumors being spread about you or just all around peoples perceptions of you being contrary to how you really are.(i have many favorable placements but this one still has its power 😭) what’s helped me is realizing that everyone’s perceptions of you is purely based on their perception of the world and past experiences with people. it’s rarely even ever about you

i don’t know why but i feel like gemini and sag placements are the types to like anime/video games

if leo moons/venus feel like they’re not getting enough attention or validation in their relationship they will find it somewhere else that is not something they can be without

i hate to validate stereotypes but every person i’ve known with taurus placements in big 6 have a passion for food and sleeping.(one of my old friends had a heavy taurus stellium and she was alllways sleeping/falling asleep and would sometimes fall asleep with food in her mouth 😭)

is there such thing as an aries mars with a low labido??

i feel like water placements (especially pisces) are the ones to listen to and really appreciate Lana del rey’s music or like/romanticize the older eras like 50s-90s (i’m a 7h pisces venus and i’m obsessed w the aesthetic of the 70s flower child )

moon mars synastry is so real yall ofc the whole chart matters but if your persons moon sign is your mars or vice versa there’s just a strong attraction, sometimes you dont even understand why.

the leo and aquarius attraction is so true i can point them out in a crowd and everytime i want them 🙄 it’s suspicious at this point 😑

idk if this is a pisces moon thing but i’ve noticed the pisces moons i know always have their comfort movies they rewatch over and over again and never get tired of. (or prefer to watch what they’ve already seen and like) maybe it’s a nostalgia thing?!?

[spellmanmortuary]

To be fair Miner is a typical Halloween costume, Nick dresses like a normal person, don’t know how you can find Caliban’s clothes unless it’s the pac sun looking shirt. At least Part 4 can deliver Jock Nick and Cheerleader Sabrina costumes.

ok this ask made me crack open my computer so it should tell u how much i care abt fashion 

but basically !! no one is wearing the miner look. the harvey costumes are the plaid shirt, the jeans and the sneakers with the boy next door hair + the brown leather jacket. so basically the look he’s had throughout the show’s run. 

the problem is that nick and caliban don’t have noteworthy style. harvey’s isn’t exactly noteworthy or groundbreaking, but, it’s identifiable and he has a signature look going. like if you prop any dude dressed in the plaid + jeans + jacket combo next to a girl dressed as sabrina, you’ll know it’s harvey. 

however: the other guys don’t have this kind of signature style. 

take nick. in p1 his style ? mess. he had this schoolboy thing going ? like he was wearing the white button up shirt with the sweater and they had him wear that in the promo material for some strange reason. but then in p2 they found his groove and had him in the dark turtlenecks and all black outfits, which were honestly ?? great. but then for p3 the style said 😌 it was nice to meet u 😌 and they had a weird regression where they started putting him in the ill fitting jeans with boots but occasionally in the white shirts again ?? and like in my opinion his style throughout the 3 parts has been kind of inconsistent to the point where the Nick Scratch Signature Look is just. him shirtless in dark pants. which again, might be great for like character development ( which i’m not sure of either lmao ) but it isn’t great when you’re trying to build a costume. 

as for caliban ? missed potential tbh. like i get that they had to have him in the whole hell attire but couldn’t they make it a bit more fashionable ?? like. even beelzebub has that great fun flesh crown and he has those fur coats that he wears with skull belts and stuff. i think that what went wrong with calibans lack of ~iconic style-ness~ is that they put him in this ugly ass vest without a shirt for most of p3. and his style was not cohesive at ALL. like. we had the vest thing and then we got this amazing romantic novel prince moment but then we got this 70′s looking ensemble that looks like it could have been worn by logan lerman in hunters. so tell me, caos wardrobe department, what is caliban’s style ?

in my opinion, it was wasted potential lol. like look at the fashion warlocks wear in ahs: apocalypse !!! i think that the show and even nick’s character could have been a lot more stylish if they had given him the same style he had in the first two parts for the third one, but in colors that went from dark to clear. like i know the show loves the 60s so why did we never get a short sleeved turtleneck moment ? we know gavin would’ve looked really good in one of those. we could have gotten a preppy striped cardigan with a black tshirt underneath. we could have gotten long black coats and blazers in interesting cuts. we could have gotten a tie moment. but no.... ill fitting jeans we know he’s short you don’t have to spell it out for us with those jeans that looked like he took them from harvey but had to fold the legs so they would fit him. 

i love ambrose’s style but like it could have been a lot more fun and iconic. if they loved the psychdellic 70s menswear for him they could have leaned into it more and given him corduroy vests with funky print shirts/bellbottoms/funky colored blazers and big collars. 

for caliban they could have given him a much more regal signature look, which would have made sense because he wanted the crown so bad it was natural that he would want to look the part. they could have given him a campy ass wardrobe with like. over the top embroidered shirts/some bejeweling/some faux fur and like. an actual hair look bc that just looks like sam combed his hair and showed up to set. some guyliner even. 

because look, it doesn’t matter if they dress like regular people because if the character has great style that looks recognizable, people will want to dress up as them, like the euphoria characters, or buffy the vampire slayer, or even sabrina herself. sabrina has a ton of signature, identifiable looks and moments despite the wardrobe departments’ best efforts so people want to dress up as her. she looks cute, she looks fun, it works if you want to make it sexy or spooky or conservative or a combination of the three. you can pick the plaid skirt + turtleneck, the red peacoat, the cheer uniform or if you want to go all out, you can do the whole I AM THE DARK LORD’S SWORD thing. you can wear the red off the shoulder top from the promos or the black queen of hell dress. same goes for the weird sister’s dresses. they’re cute, relatively easy to copy, and they can be as fun and flirty as u wanna make them. 

to be honest, to me the problem is that the style in caos is.... a bit messy. it’s confusing because characters look like they all came from different eras and their styles ( except ambrose, who stays pretty on brand with the 70s ) blend together in the most boring, print crazy, muted tones ( which. why??? they’re teenagers why are they always wearing autumnal colors ), sometimes they put the actors in things that are unflattering to their body types like sabrina’s valentine’s day ruched red dress atrocity that shit belongs to in a middle school spring fling dance or nick’s weird carnival canadian tux, and sometimes they mix eras? like with sabrina’s style, which inexplicably jumps from 60s to 70s but nothing she wears looks like what her aunts would have worn at her age so where and how did she even get those ?? were those like... her mom’s ?? if they were, why has the connection never been made ? it could have been great for emotional depth.

but anyway, the characters that we see on halloween or at comic cons are usually the weird sisters ( specifically prudence ), hilda, zelda, lilith, harvey, sabrina, and occasionally ambrose. this is most likely due to the fact that they have the more signature, noteworthy, recognizable clothes. the weird sisters have that one signature look and they ROCK it, hilda and zelda both dress like different kinds of stereotypical witches with identifiable hairstyles and are a fun friends/sisters costume, and lilith had that MOMENT with the demon face. harvey’s style is cute and consistent and pretty much timeless, maybe sometimes 90s inspired-ish. sabrina has an identifiable look with the hairstyle even if that wig is awful. 

so yeah, that was my long way of saying that the reason why people aren’t dressing up as nick or caliban even if theyre in a couples costume with a sabrina is because those two have unidentifiable, non cohesive style. 

caos could have been a fashion show.... could’ve brought 60′s/70′s inspo in fashion back... but for some reason it didnt rlly do that lol 

[dreamycloud1]

Think Piece for 3/21 and 3/22

SHADOWHUNTERS

Are there... even words for it? I can’t really think right now I’m just dazed and high on euphoria and also sadness??

This is it. The end of an era. For now, maybe forever. Only time will tell.

This episode had so many things to talk about I don’t even know where to start.

At at the end of the day I loved this series finale more than anything I had ever watched on television, in my life.

It started with the hunt to save Magnus. Alec was so willing to give everything to be with Magnus, he was willing to leave it all behind for the chance to be with his one true soul again. Izzy knew this.

Magnus was her friend, her brothers world and she was going to use the last of the life she thought she had to make him happy.

Clary, who was so happy to help her friends and used the one strength she had to get them all to Edom. They met up with Magnus (after he gets through politely telling Lilith to fuck off) and all take a part of Izzy’s pain to destroy the ENTIRETY of Edom. Home of the demons, and Lilith along with it. (Don’t ask how the Downworlders didn’t die shhh it’s fiiiine)

They get back to relatively normalcy and Magnus Bane. Magnus LIGHTWOOD fucking BANE couldn’t wait to marry the love of his life. Just like Alec said Magnus has never been married. This is his first of many new experiences he will get to have in his long long life.

Also HC! Alec is immortal because I say and the writers never said he wasn’t haha take that.

Anyway. Clary is sat down by the one person who the angels thought could convince her and told that the power she was gifted with was being revoked. If she used one more self-made rune she would lose her entire Shadowhunters life. Clary knew this but nothing was ever going to stop her from defeating Jonathan. It had to be her, it had to be with her runes. She finally saved the boy in the tower from all those years ago.

And she paid.

Then she went to the Malec wedding and put on a brave face because two of her best friends in the world were getting married and she would be damned if she didn’t smile through the trauma for them.

Now that I’ve arrived here even after attempting to stall for as long as possible because I am going to start crying again, the Malec wedding. I know everyone is going to have their opinion of how it went. It’s how you feel and I’m never going to try and argue that with anyone.

To me, it was a moment of cinematic beauty captured in time. It wasn’t long, it wasn’t flashy, not in Abu Dahbi or Taipei, but it was *Malec*. In all their beauty.

Robert was invited because he was still Alec’s father no matter what. His mom and dad put aside their differences to walk their children down the isle on the most important day of their lives. The music had me weeping before anyone stepped out. Then Alec was brought in by Robert and I cried like a baby. Then Magnus. Oh beautiful Magnus. Walked out by the biggest mother figure in his life, not replacing his birth mom but filled the gap with so much warmth that it’s hard to be sad anymore.

And I sobbed.

And sobbed some more. Their vows I will listen to over and over again until I can recite them in time. They were simple yet so filled with love and adoration that you didn’t need many words for the bond to be felt through time and space.

Then Clary said her goodbyes to Jace. Despite being so against Clace from the beginning of the show this episode slowly broke that wall down. I will never truly ship them in the way you’d think but by the end of season 3 I see the appeal. Kat and Dom played them so well and it shows. Jace grew as a person so damn much this season and it shows. They broke my heart with Clary losing her powers so hard. Clace are meant for each other. Heart and Body, Mind and Soul.

Also side note... Magnus and Lorenzo talking before Magnus gave him the wedding invite?? Pure poetry. You can also see how much Lorenzo has grown. I’m sure this is perhaps their way of redeeming characters before the show ends but I don’t really care because I want to love and support all of them. Lorenzo wants for a family of his own just like Magnus has found. In my heart I think he got it. It’s not much of a connection aside from just shoving them together at the end but I still and very very fond of Underhill x Lorenzo anyway. Lorenzo deserves is and Underhil has never done anything wrong in his life TM.

Maia is leading the New York pack, and opening a restaurant! She wants to bring everyone together, guys I love Maia.

Sizzy is together! Like officially even more of a thing and Simon brings Izzy lunch and I’m so on board with this ship I’m so happy for both of them. And Saphael made up! They are friends now and Rafael is becoming a priest and I couldn’t be prouder.

Maryse and Luke are a thing and they both deserve it after everything they’ve been through.

Helen and Aline are together and wanna get married and I’m so supportive I love all my gay/bi/pan children! (Also thanks again Jem for like saving Magnus from being and idiot and officiating their WEDDING!)

Oh god we’re here so I’m gonna address it. Alec is the new Inquisitor! I’m so fucking proud. I guess the old hag wanted to settle down and Magnus finally can do and be as he wishes because Magnus will always be there. Magnus is the!!! HIGH WARLOCK!!!!!! Of ALICANTE!!!!!!! I love my husbands so much no words can fully get the message across. They’re so domestic and seem like they’ve settled in and I will never be happier st knowing I got to see them grown and be the happiest people in the world.

IT IS A TRAVESTY THAT IZZY AND CLARY NEVER GOT TO BECOME PARABATAI I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK. Anyway.

That’s my o my real complaint with this episode is that I was promised parabatai and then I get my heart ripped out (only to be thrust back in by the wedding).

To end it all, the elephant in the room. The Clace ending. I can’t say I’m mad about it. We have known the writers set it up on a never ending cliffhanger. They told us way in advance that they would leave the show like that. I don’t think they could have balanced it so perfectly again in a million years of they tried. It’s a perfect mix of being able to say that Clary slowly regains her memories of the shadow world and then comes back to Jace and they live on fighting demons and getting married.

But it also leaves it open to be able to be picked up if that were ever a feat that could be achieved. I think it’s brilliant and in a way satisfies something in us even if it is never picked up again.

Thank you, Shadowhunters. For giving me years of life and an endless world to believe in.

[kittenmalfoysactualartblog]

You said you had characters and I’m interested to hear more. I also wanted to know what a dollhouse is. I have an idea but I don’t wanna assume ya know

*toyhouse. Or more specifically toyhou.se a website for organizing characters, sub characters, literature, and images of said characters. It's super cool, but still in beta so one needs a code. I barely managed to snap one up from someone offering online. It's a bit of a lifesaver, although a bit annoying that I have to constantly log back in.toyhou . se/ KittenMalfoy/ characters/folder:295919I'm not sure if it'll let me link since I never get asks, but delete the spaces and you've got my toyhouse and the folder of my main characters and world. Vampires basically. I have a lot of lore unfortunately it's not linked and I might have to make another post for all of that, and me and my friend are working on a unique language for the vampires. And they have their own religion, and its said that all other religions are based on it. Not all but a lot, but the vampires exaggerate. And I have this gigantic world in my head and at least 90% isn't written down anywhere.Tera Perne is the real main character and the main plot line follows her from the time she was turned until modern era. And shes somewhere around 2000 so she's interacted with so many people. At first I just had the main "side characters" if you will on toyhouse. That would be Victoir Perne, Vita and Cassius Voltair, Iggy, Larry, Davide Knighting, Elizabeth Ringer, and Narcissa, and Lilith. With some added side characters for a chiche plot line that I decided not to pursue.So these main characters are important to me and I started building their mansions and clan houses in Minecraft when I didnt have motivation to write. But I started running out of my main characters. So some dumb part of me decided let's add 28 more characters, most of whom are not yet on toyhouse. So I started making icons and outfit collages for them to get a sense of who they are. Putting them online gives them age, clan, where the live, what they do. But I still havent given them personalities, so I scrolled on here for some quick prompts to write fast one shots for these new characters.And toyhouse added the literature feature so I can connect these oneshots to my characters. Most dont have any ideas yet, but there in the works still.I have so much of the lore in my head it will fill this answer fast. But the rundown is the common weaknesses of vampires are false. They are almost God like. Unless you set them on fire. Then they're dead dead. Forever. Lilith, Adam's first wife before Eve, was the original feminist and the mother of all vampires. There are real stories about this. And I played on that as the birth of vampires. This brings into the religion. Lumos, who is the good and light and creative powers in the universe, is the actual God in Christianity. Nox is all the dark, destructive, chaotic forces in the universe, and is generally Satan/the devil, although he has more powers. And it breaks off here that Lumos created the universe, Nox likes putting his(altho technically neither sex nor gender. Same goes for Lumos) nose into everything, but they both sat back to watch Earth come together with only some minor touches. And evolution is technically correct in this world. Lumos and Nox would simply help it along in the creation of mankind.Theres a lot more to the religion, but I'll save it right now. More to vampire lore. Lilith is the mother, and for a period physically birthed what is called the first generation of vampires. When she was cursed to be a vampire, so were her children. Nox blessed them with venom to turn humans to make more of their kind. Only those who were birthed are the first generation. I think we all understand how generations work. Lilith died eventually, and so her vampire children began splitting into clans. Generally, first gens were clan leaders. Altho, of course, as time progressed younger and younger vampires started their own clans.In more modern times, surviving first gens literally have control over the world. Mankind has the illusion that they have power, but in this reality they dont. At all. Vampires choose governmental leader, plan all wars and battles. Specifically I mention Hitler and the Nazis in my story. Hitler was definitely vampire appointed and rumored to be a vampire himself. Those conspiracy theories of him surviving after the war ended. Could be true in this universe. Vampires often had Nazi servants and would use the famous Nazi human experiments to find more servants, or just used them as a guise for research of vampirism, how it works, and where it starts.Blood servants are a whole other set of lore and history. Basically if a vampire shares his blood with a human, that human loses his will and the vampire can order them to do just about anything but kill themselves. The blood servants, or slaves as vampires call them because they're assholes, have no free will.I dont know what else to add cuz I havent slept, but theres a very long but shortened version of it all without all the complexities.

[drama-kid-search-history]

Alie glared at this, Actor person. "Sorry, Acty, but i dont roll that way anymore, im not a villain, and my teams really waiting for me-" "fuck your damn groceries, Alison" her old friends voice rang out, and Alie clamped her mouth shut, so thats what this was. Another damn way Amanda wanted to ruin her life. Again. "Could you have stopped when you DIED you dumb pain seekin whore?!" Alie called, feeling her wrists get pressed more into the wall by the masked man, she looked at him "protective over your damn slut? Dont be so, shes outta here the second you take that mask off" ..no reply, Alie rolls her eyes, before she feels somethin weird. Hands, on her stomach. She looked down and nearly screamed, to little children were lifting her shirt and peeking into the gaping wound on her stomach "g-get the fuck away from me!" She screeched, trying to kick the kids away. They snapped their heads up to look at her, smiling cruelly "mama, this will" the boy cut off, only for the female to tilt her head to the side with a cheerful giggle "barely hurt!" She finished, Alie blinked. Mama? Who the hell are these two.. "Mama?? Im sixteen! Fuck off! Os this some damn villain foster home? Bitch yall aint no miss peregines home for peculiar assholes!" Alie headbutted Actor, forcing herself free. She knocked both the kids back easily, knocking their heads together. She darted to the right, past the three of them.

"Amanda! Let me out!" She screamed, a growl in her voice. "I dont think so ms richsun. What happened to being my friend? That idiot team cant permanantly change you, youll hurt them. And besides, Vincey still hates you!" Amis voice had a sing song tone to it, teasing Alison. Alie fished her phone out of her pocket, opening Vincents text messages, as he was the last one she was texting. 'Vince, i need help, red alert, ami, cm.' She backed herself aganist the door, staring at the masked man and twin children. 'Vincent, please, please, i dont know if you hate me, but dammit you know ive done my best in the team, this is the least you can do for me, help.' She flicked out of vincents messages, going to Aris. 'Ari, for the lvoe of everything good i need help, actor, two kds, ami, help, i dont wanna turn out evil again, pelase' she was starting to shake, this feltnlike a damn horror game. "Ami! I dont want to hurt them!" She forced her fear down, a blast of magic passing her, knocking her phone from her grip. She reached at the purple collar around her neck, unhooking  her headband from it and putting it on, in an instant her magic was coursing through her veins, and a purple blast erupted from her the second she slammed her hands down.

She looked up, she'd knocked them over. She just had to stall. How long can she handle the magic though.. she sent a blast of fire magic at them, scrambling to start running to the other side of the room. She glared at them, almost daring them to approached her again..where the fuck did the boy go. The boy disappeared. The boys gone. Alie straightened, looking around the room. She wanted to get home soon, make it back from this. Lilith wanted a bedtime story. Phoebe and her were gonna play video gamee...minds racing, block it out- Alie was knocked over, a sharp pain in her lower back. She flipped, glaring at the little boy, who just stared down at her innocently "mama, we arwnt gonna kill you!" The girl skipped joyfully over, leaning to stare at Alie from behind the strawberry blondes head "come join us!" "You can be happy to mama!!" The kids pulled her up, Alie was starting to feel the magic..stronger. starting to shut down her rational thinking. She put her thoughts on her friends. On Spop. She had to get home. "Kids..m-mama doesnt wanna be safe..she doesnt wanna come." She mumbled, her eyes were stinging, she could see the purple around her vision, threatening to burn at her and take her vision away.

She yanked away from the kids, holding out her hand, letting a blast of magic knock the kids backward, slamming them into the ground. Every spell. It hurt more and more. She let herself fall for a moment. Itd be peacful. No more trying. Back to normal. She forced herself back. Lilith. Phoebe. Ari. Vincent. Era. Arthur.. she growled at the twins, the purole was spreading. She only had a few more minutes. Ari, Vincent, get your asses in here.. Alie backed up, only to feel arms wrapping around her from behind. "Alie, you feel it, give up. Join us! Those are your kids, Roneo, and Juliett. Alie stared up at the brown female, eyes sliding down to stare at the the kids. "Romeo..and...juli..ett.." she felt herself fading, trying to hang on to her thoughts of her old friends, maybe grab the headband, but her arms were pinned by Amis hug. The purple engulphed her vision, burning away at what she had tried to fix.

[deamonangelus]

Kiss Me

Summary:  You met Sam through your shared lifestyles, specifically hunting.  There was never any other option for either of you, in the end the two of you fully expected to die bloody, or at least alone.  Neither of you expected to find each other, and one look at your eyes had Sam falling like he’d never fallen before.

Hey Hey make a story with sam but you have to use the lyrics to an ed sheeran song. 

Warnings:  Nothing outside the average Supernatural episode.  It’s pretty long though.  Mentions of alcohol, some angst.  No spoilers for new episodes, but if you haven’t gotten to the post-Leviathan era there are spoilers.  Songfic for Ed Sheeran’s ‘Kiss Me.’

Pairing: Reader x Sam (as per the request)

A/N: I HAVE RETURNED!!  I’m so sorry this took so long Anon!!  I’m so, so, so sorry!!

Settle down with me

Cover me up

Cuddle me up.

Lie down with me

And hold me in your arms.

 You were both hunters, you knew that when you met.  You were stopping by Bobby’s place, checking up on the old grouch that rescued you from the demons tracking you when you were only 10, and the old man had convinced you to stay for Thanksgiving.  You couldn’t say ‘no,’ he had been the only family you had since your parents were killed, a side effect of coming from an extensive line of untrained and overpowered psychics.  He was sure to teach you, give you the space and everything else you needed to get a grasp on your abilities, and had raised you like you were his own.

You loved that old bastard like he was your own father, even called him dad instead of Bobby.

Of course, being a few years younger than the youngest Winchester, Bobby had saved you a few years after John cut off all ties to his fellow Hunter.  You had never met the Winchester boys, but you saw the pictures and knew Bobby still loved them like they were his own sons, even if he couldn’t see them.

With your busy life, and their own chaotic lives, it was a few years until you actually met Sam and Dean.  You were in the kitchen, you loved to cook, making a big Thanksgiving dinner for the family of four.  You were worried, Bobby loved these boys like they were his own and you wanted them to at least like you.  Little did you know the scent of the apple pie in the oven would be enough for Dean to immediately welcome you as his baby sister.

As for Sam…well…

The second you looked up at him he caught sight of your eyes, hell your eyes were beautiful.

The second he saw your eyes, he started falling for you.

And your heart’s against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet

And with a feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now.

 It was an…unexpected turn of events, to be honest.  After the final seal was broken and the Apocalypse started, Sam didn’t know where else to go.  He knew Bobby would welcome him into his home, but he also knew Dean was going to be there.  Calling you and asking where you were being the logical response…no…it was his instinctual response.  He had come clean to you about everything over that one phone call; the demon blood, Ruby, starting the Apocalypse by killing Lilith, everything.  He was so scared you’d reject him. 

You just gave him the exact address to meet you at, and told him the two of you would take some time off until he felt up to hunting again-even if he never wanted to hunt again.

You hadn’t even thought about it.  You knew what it was like to be the freak in the Hunter community.  Perhaps not nearly as much as he did, but you were still an overcharged psychic and you were still treated like a freak.  Sam needed a safe place, and even without the crush you harbored for him, you were family.  More than that, he was one of the closest friends you ever had, you loved Jo dearly, but there was a difference between the freak with the knife collection and the freak that could speak to the dead and move objects with her mind.

He found home with you.  Even as he rejoined Dean and the family was back together again, you were right there with him.  Every second he looked in your eyes he fell farther in love with you, and he couldn’t look away from your eyes.  It was painfully obvious he was utterly smitten with you.  Every second you helped the Winchester brothers fight off the end of the world, he fell deeper and deeper for you.

 Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

 Looking into your eyes, he felt ashamed.  He was deeply in love with you, irrevocably in love with you, and he couldn’t bare the thought of what he was about to do.  You knew everything, you were his support system, but he still couldn’t let you see him like this.  Knowing you would never think any less of him wouldn’t have allowed him to let you seem him drinking demon blood by the gallons, only to try to overpower Lucifer himself.  He just couldn’t let you see him like this.  If everything went wrong, he wanted you to remember him as anything but what he was.

He wanted you to remember him as the guy that cuddled with you as the two of you watched crap movies or binged Netflix or Hulu.  He wanted you to remember that, admittedly unwelcome, trip to Heaven the three of you shared as it was revealed meeting you was one of the best memories he had.  He wanted you to remember him as the one you’d trade favorite books with, binge reading as Dean drove the Impala and talking about the books you just read. He wanted you to remember him from that that first, and possibly last, kiss the two of you shared only seconds before he asked Bobby to make sure you didn’t see him like that.

You barely held back the sobs by holding your breath as long as you could, but that didn’t stop the tears or the way you shook.

 Settle down with me

And I’ll be your safety

You’ll be my lady.

I was made to keep your body warm

But I’m cold as the wind blows, so hold me in your arms.

 Sam had attempted to get you to promise to live a ‘civilian life.’  The two of you argued, you had gotten to the point you were screaming because you couldn’t even consider life without Sam anymore, but you came to an agreement as he held you close.  No matter what happened, you would find a place for yourself, not far from Sioux Falls, and stick to making a living as a Psychic and an expert for Hunters.  You did as you promised, but you still tried to reach out to Sam.  You failed to find a way to free him, but you could at least offer a form of comfort during his suffering.  It took a lot of effort, and a lot of practice, but you managed to reach him, even though his soul was in the deepest pits of Hell, during deep meditations.

You were utterly shocked to see him at your doorstep only 48 hours after speaking with him, last you knew he was still in Hell.  During your, then weekly, deep meditation you reached him yet again and were more confused by the situation.  Sam, even without his soul, felt an inexplicable attraction to you, and a physical need to keep you alive and close when he arrived at your doorstep. 

“Sam…” you whispered as you looked up at him, your eyes glistening with tears.  He didn’t answer verbally, instead pulling you into a heated kiss, picking you up with ease and kicking the door to your home shut as you wrapped your legs around his waist.  There was a physical satisfaction from carrying you to your bed and pinning you down against it he couldn’t explain, but he didn’t care.  The sex was, frankly, euphoric, for the both of you.

 Oh no

My heart’s against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet

And this feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now.

 It wasn’t until Cas admitted to leaving Sam’s soul in the Cage that you had your answer, and as Sam lie comatose in Bobby’s bunker you could barely leave his side.  As he wandered the land of the living, without a soul, you barely had enough power to reach his mind and keep him from doing things he would regret.

You should have known he was missing his soul.  You should have known.  You were kicking yourself, you couldn’t believe you didn’t figure it out earlier. You spent hours, sitting by him and wiping the sweat from his brow.  By the time he woke up you had been up for days, despite Dean and Bobby’s attempts to get you to sleep.  They had even slipped you alcohol to try to get you to sleep, Bobby even tried mixing sleeping pills with food, and it never succeeded. Cas offered what condolences he could, but nobody would feel better until Sam woke up.

You were at your wit’s end, you had run out of tears and couldn’t live with yourself if Sam…

The signs were right in front of you, and you still couldn’t figure it out.  Hindsight is 20-20, but you should have known better-

“[Y/N]?” Sam’s voice was groggy as he woke up for the first time in days, registering it was you before he was conscious enough to register the dark circles under your tired eyes.  Your attention snapped directly to him, and once again he was lost in your eyes.  He didn’t know why his head was pounding, or why he felt what he could only describe as a mental itch, but as he looked up at you he couldn’t say he cared. You kept telling him it was nothing, something he’d get used to living with.

Something he should just leave alone.

He wished he had listened, as visions of Lucifer haunted him and taunted him with the idea that you were just a fever dream.  Being safe with you and Dean was just a pretend world, and any minute he could be ripped from the safety of your arms and your lips against his and land right back in the Cage.  There were times pressing on the cut in his palm didn’t help, and at those times he would desperately seek you out and pull you as close as he could, pressing a desperate kiss against your lips.

 Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

 Yeah I’ve been feeling everything

From hate to love

From love to lust

From lust to truth

I guess that’s how I know you

So I hold you close to help you give it up.

 Things had gone unsaid, but understood.  You couldn’t say the two of you ever actually proclaimed your feelings for each other, not seriously anyway.  You vaguely remembered telling Sam you loved him when he got you the Chinese you were craving after about six or seven too many tequila shots with Charlie.  It wasn’t until Dean and Cas disappeared after killing Dick, ending the Leviathan threat, that things were finally put into words.  You would never be able to completely retire, you were a psychic, but Sam had a chance.  You were willing to split up, let him live a peaceful life, but he couldn’t let you go.

“Please!” he begged, eyes searching yours as he held your hands in his own, “I’ve lost everyone else…I can’t lose you too.  I love you.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you gently hushed as you pulled him down into a hug, standing on your toes as he was an entire foot taller than you, “I love you too, sasquatch.”

With a small, grateful, smile and a chuckle at your nickname for him, gently bumped his forehead against yours.  You couldn’t help but laugh, calling him a giant nerd and pulling him in for a gentle, loving kiss.  You weren’t going anywhere, you were going to stay right by his side as long as he wanted, for as long as he needed you.

 So kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

 Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We’re falling in love.

[primatechnosynthpop]

7, 12, 16 for the salty ask and BECAUSE you put a tag saying you have opinions and i am DESPERATE to know, please choose one more number that you want to have a rant over, i dont wanna miss out!!

7. I generally don’t go from liking something to downright hating it, but there are a few things I used to love but am now pretty ambivalent over. For instance, in middle school/early high school I was very into the anime Fairy Tail--which, while I don’t think the series is completely terrible, there are certainly better anime shows out there.

12. This is much broader than just a specific arc, but I like the other seasons of Heroes almost as much as the first!

16. You didn’t specify a show here and because it’s you asking, I’m trying to come up with something related to Star Trek... for TOS, I can’t think of much I’d want to change. For the Berman-era shows, if behind-the-scenes stuff counts, just. Remove Berman from the equation. That way, although the shows still wouldn’t be perfect, they would probably be much better off in several aspects.

And since you requested I do one more number, I’ll answer #17 for CAOS part 3 because that’s what my mind has been fixating on for the past couple weeks. Unlike some poeple, I don’t hate Sabrina as a character, but I definitely think she should be knocked down a peg. So, instead of everything turning out fine for her again... during the final battle, she gets stabbed or something but covers it up, not letting her friends or family see. Then she goes back to Hell and intervenes with her past self as she does in canon. However, while she’s preventing her past self from becoming trapped, this version of her is actively bleeding out. She tells herself about the now-averted grim future she saw, and says something along the lines of “I got lucky this time, being able to fix everything, but there might not be such an easy solution next time. So, next time, be there for your friends and family when they need you. You don’t really want to be queen of Hell, and I know that, because I’m you. Give the throne to Lilith--she deserves it.” So then that version of Sabrina dies, and the other version follows her advice and returns home, somewhat shaken and finally having learned a lesson. (I may actually make this into a fic at some point, if I can find the time.)

EDIT: Alternatively, one of Sabrina's loved ones actually does notice her injury and is extremely concerned, but she's like "oh yeah there's an uhhhh magic herb down in hell that can cure me! Brb" and technically she does come back a few minutes later... but it's a different version of her, and the people she just said goodbye to have no way of knowing that.

[nerdylittleshit]

The Sinner, the Saint & the Fangirl

Female archetypes in 3x12 & 5x01 aka The Great Meta Scavenger Hunt Round 4

In this weeks challenge our task was to take a closer look on both 3x12 and 5x01, with bonus points if our focus is on the female characters of the episodes. And obviously this meta challenge is not a comnpetion and the real prize is the friends we made along the way or so I have been told, but I also really wanna win this thing (whatever this thing is), so bonus points here we come. Instead of comparing the two episodes and/or their female characters though, I decided to place each of them in a certain category. Namely is that woman a sinner or a saint? (Or because this Supernatural, a fangirl.)

The sinner/saint dynamic is something that exists as long as movies exist, and of course it is the kind of stereotype reserved exclusively for women. It is very prominent in old western, but not limited to it. The names are already self-explanatory; the saint is a woman of virtue, symbolizing innocence and purity. They often end up being either a victim or at least the damsel in distress, and if they survive they are the reward for our hero. Opposed to that is the sinner, women who have a low social stand for whatever reason and are often portrayed promiscuous. They usually don’t survive the movie. And at least if you watch an old western chances are big our saint is portrayed by a white woman with light hair, whereas the sinner is almost always portrayed by a woman of colour (because next to misogynist those movies were also racist).

(As you can see during my time at university I also had a beginner’s course of film study)

Of course this kind of archetypes evolved over time and today female characters get to be more complex. That doesn’t mean they aren’t used anymore, or at least their basics. Because it’s something most viewers are familiar with, and whenever these archetypes appear the audience doesn’t need much time to decide how to view this character (basically: good guy or bad guy?). But it is also used to subvert our expectitations towards certain characters.

Some time ago I wrote a meta about Supernatural from a feminist point of view, with a special look at the Carver era (which you can read here). In it I also noted that during the first years (the Kripke era) almost all female characters end up in one of three categories: antagonist (sinner), love interest or mom/sister characters (saints). Especially during the Carver era female characters have become more complex, but even today it seems like Donna might be the only current female character who doesn’t fit in either character, but is instead one of the few female friends the Winchesters have (Jody is also a mom character, whereas Charlie was portrayed as a little sister). And looking back it made us realize that even in Supernatural early years there was a group that didn’t fit in either to one of the three groups: female law enforcers (which Donna is of course as well). (More on this here and here). But I digress. Going back to 3x12 and 5x01 we can place almost all characters in the sinner or saint category, with the exception of Becky, who gets her own category.

So let’s have a look.

3x12 Jus in Belo

Bela:

The episode starts with a reminder that Bela stole the Colt from the Winchesters. Dean assumes she just wants to sell it to the highest bidder, when in reality Bela tries to exchange the Colt for her soul.

Of course we as an audience don’t know this yet, and neither does Dean, so we just assume she is a horrible person, who is okay with hundreds of people getting possesed and causing mayhem, only to get some extra cash.

Of course one could argue that her goal only to save her own soul when the Colt could save so much more people isn’t any better. It is still a very selfish reason for her to steal the Colt. And it places her opposite to Nancy, who considers sacrificing her own life in order to save many more people.

If anything Bela is a great example of how our expectations get subverted. Until 3x15 we only think of her in terms of a sinner. None of her actions are selfless or in any way heroic. The way we view her character is only changed once we learn the reason she made a deal in the first place: to escape her abusive parents. It doesn’t make her a saint, but it removes her from being a sinner as well. If anything it places her near characters like Bobby or Dean who both suffered from abusive parents as well, but eventually made different choices (and is also a comment how different male and female characters with the same backstory are treated at Supernatural, just saying).

Nancy:

Nancy is probably the character who fulfills any stereotypes the most, mostly because she only appears in one episode and it is usually the recurring characters who are allowed to get more complex.

Nancy is a classic saint, no doubt. She is introduced wearing a cross and a rosary, telling us at first glance that she is very religious. The very first thing she hears about the Winchesters? That they are “ Satan-worshipping, nutbag killers”. Her fear of them is not just based on the fact they are criminals (she works at a police station, she is used to them), but that they are satanists. And yet it appears she believes in the good of the people after all, or otherwise Sam’s trick to get her close enough to their cell in order to steal her rosary wouldn’t have worked.

After Victor Henriksen and the others learn the truth - demons are actually a thing - we get this little exchange.

Dean: How you holdin' up, Nancy?

Nancy: Okay. When I was little, I would come home from the church and start to talk about the devil. My parents would tell me to stop being so literal. I guess I showed them, huh? That should hold.

It further confirms Nancy’s religious nature, as well as showing us that Nancy at least as a child divided the world into black and white, evil and good. We can only assume her morality got more complex over the years, as she wasn’t completely hostile towards Sam and Dean even when she still believed them to be the bad guys.

As the plot thickens Ruby appears and offers a spell to get rid of all demons, though it includes killing a virgin. Which is how we learn that Nancy is still a virgin. Interesting enough Ruby speaks first of a person of virtue, before she specifies her request that she needs a virgin. We can argue therefore that in Supernatural a virgin automatically translate as a person of virtue. Furthermore virgins seem to symbolize purity and innocence. The only other time virgins were brought up again was in 6x12, where again their virginity was tied to the mythology of the show, in that case dragons who were after virgins. (And then of course Eve, who chose the body of a virgin as her vessel, subverting the image of the pure and innocent. But furthermore also a body nobody had used before (so to speak) and the irony of course of a virgin mother.)

Of course this is also bullshit. Your decision wheter to have sex or not (and with whom and how often) doesn’t say anything about your virtue. Deciding to stay a virgin doesn’t make you a good person, the same way that having sex doesn’t make you a bad person (especially not as a woman, no matter what people say). But its an image so old - virginity = purity - that we buy it without a second thought. That is the way arechetypes work after all, because they are familiar.

It is also the reason why Nancy never becomes a love interest. Apart from the fact that she appears to be rather young, the fact that she is a virgin immdiately not only places her in the category of a saint but also regarding the Winchesters in that of a little sister.

The reason though Nancy is a person of virtue/a saint is not her virginity but her willingness to sacrifice herself in order to save all the people the demons have possesed. She is also doing this while everyone around her (Sam, Dean, Ruby, Victor) still argue whether it is the morally right thing to do, reminding them it is her choice.

As I said before Nancy functions here opposed to Bela. Whereas Bela’s actions are based on selfish motives, Nancy is willing to do the ultimate sacrifice, a completely selfless act. We could further argue her decision is based on her faith as well, as Christianty is about altruism.

The episode ends however with all of our sinners surviving (Bela, Ruby, Lilith) whereas our only saint dies, despite the fact Sam and Dean tried everything to save her. Portraying her as the genuine good person she is, her loss perhaps hurts the most.

Ruby:

Enter Ruby. The great thing about her character is that during the whole of season 3 and 4 she is written ambiguous enough that we are never quite sure in which category she belongs, until her final reveal in 4x22. She is without a doubt no saint, but the show up until the end of her story makes us wonder if she a sinner either. And we are reminded of this here, because the very first thing Sam says about her, is that she is here to help them, marking her her as an ally.

Ruby, or more specific her spell, represents the moral dilemma of the episode. Is it okay to kill one person in order to save many others? Especially if said person is willing to sacrifice herself?

It leads to a great display of the different kind of moralities Sam and Dean have ( @postmodernmulticoloredcloak wrote a great piece about it here). Sam is willing to think about it, whereas Dean pretty much says that Ruby’s choice is no choice at all.

Henriksen: We do not sacrifice people. We do that, we're no better than them.

Ruby: We don't have a choice.

Dean: Yeah, well, your choice is not a choice.

Dean’s position here equals Victor’s. You can’t fight monsters if in order to do so you become a monster yourself.

Dean: It doesn't mean that we throw away the rule book and stop acting like humans. I'm not gonna let that demon kill some nice, sweet, innocent girl, who hasn't even been laid. I mean, look, if that's how you win wars, then I don't want to win. 

Ruby on the other hand thinks certain sacrifices are neccessary in order to win a war. She even points out that doing the spell would kill herself as well, a sacrifice she is willing to do if it helps the Winchesters. This particular part made me wonder if Ruby didn’t secretly count that Sam and Dean wouldn’t go through with her plan. Because what would have been her gain if she died? Her offering along makes us wonder about her true nature. If Nancy’s virtue is displayed by her willingness to sacrfice herself, can’t we say the same about Ruby?

This explanation makes a lot of sense. Ruby offers to sacrifice herself, therefore she places herself in the category of “good”. But it would also include the sacrifice of someone else, testing if Sam would be willing to consider it (he is, and we see the exact same dilemma in 4x22, where Sam kills a nurse because he believes it is the only way to defeat Lilith). She knows the Winchesters won’t go through with it, with Dean basically preventing it (because Sam only gives in to Ruby fully once Dean is gone). She still survives, leaving the police station once the Winchesters don’t agree with her plan and probably told Lilith where they are, to finish the episode with a great “I told you so”, showing them that her way would have been the right way all along.

Ruby: Don't thank me. Lilith killed everyone. She slaughtered your precious little virgin, plus a half a dozen other people. So after your big speech about humanity and war, turns out your plan was the one with the body count. Do you know how to run a battle? You strike fast and you don't leave any survivors. So no one can go running to tell the boss. So next time… we go with my plan.

In hindsight Ruby is a classic example of a sinner, including her seducing Sam. But up until the big reveal in 4x22 the show plays with our instinct reaction to her (she is a demon, she must be bad), making us constantly wondering in which category she fits (just as Bela’s story only gets complete with her last episode).

Lilith:

Aka the big bad of the season. I love how Dean after Ruby tells him there is a new big bad out there instantly assumes it is a he, until she correts him. You know, men don’t have the monopoly on murder.

This marks also the first episode we actually see Lilith, and it is interesting what kind of vessel she chooses: that of a young girl. Just as with Nancy we instantly assume the little girl to be innocent, only to get that expectation subverted as well. It is not the only time she appears as a little girl - she does the same thing in 3x16 (in a really creepy way I might add, causing the moral dilemma if it is okay to kill a child if said child is possesed by a demon).

We only see her in an adult vesel in season 4, still wearing white and having long blonde hair, both visual signs of purity, while also presenting her in suggestively way. Furthermore I might add Chuck’s vision in 4x18 of Sam and Lilith having sex, which by then has become a little theme, after sleeping with Ruby and presenting Meg initially as a love interest.

Lilith of course is a classic sinner. From a demon’s perspective though she could be seen as a saint as well, sacrificing herself for a greater goal (the rise of Lucifer).

5x01 Sympathy for the Devil

I don’t count Lucifer disguised as Nick’s dead wife here, because I think Lucifer mostly identifies himself as male.

Becky:

And this is where we add a third category, the fangirl. Becky is of course no sinner, but also no saint. For this episode she is merely a plot device. And another example of the shows long list of consent issues, as she seems to have a problem to let go of Sam.

Furthermore Becky is a comment of TPTB of how they view their audience/fandom. And it is not a very pretty picture.

When she appears again in 5x09 she is yet again just a plot device (getting the Winchesters to the con in the first place, telling them later about Crowley and the Colt). 7x08 is so full of consent issues I’m not even going there.

It seems like once Becky fulfilled her job (giving the Winchesters information they need) the writers didn’t really know what to do with her, and transformed her into a big joke about fans and their delusional way to see the world. Not really funny.

It took one Robbie Thompson to give us Charlie Bradbury instead, and later 10x05, to show us that fandom and fans can be portrayed in a much mure postive way. 

Meg:

And the last one on the list. Meg’s journey starts as someone who looks like an ally/love interest back in 1x11, only to be revealved to be a sinner all along. She pretty much stays this way in the first five seasons, but eventually works together with the Winchesters in season 6, 7 and 8, as they have a common enemy in Crowley, leading to her sacrficice in 8x17. It doesn’t make her a saint of course, but again we can’t put her into the category of sinner either. What is interesting here is that she stays a sinner all along in the Kripke era and only becomes something more, more complex once Sera Gamble and later Jeremy Carver took over.

In 5x01 we see her in all her evil glory though. She kisses Dean against his consent (demons and sexual assault is a topic of its own), and arranges it that Bobby gets possesed and almost kills Dean. Like she could have killed Dean a million different ways, but she wanted his surrogate dad to do the job, punishing Bobby along the way.

Tl, dr:

Archetypes, such as the sinner and the saint, are used frequently in Supernatural, especially in the first five seasons. They are used especially if a character only appears one time, because the audience is already familiar with this kind of characters. Recurring female character tend to be more complex, with the show often subverting our expections. Also, sacrificing yourself is kinda a big thing.