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#lin rambles
miguelswifey04 · 7 months
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not back but yeah i’ve been so busy with college and talking to this one guy :,) in my soft lover girl era <3 he’s super fine and rly sweet.
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system-of-a-feather · 8 months
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Back from therapy and Riku recommended me to ramble about this a bit here, but in terms of the narrative of our CSA as I see it, I was a very broken and very hurt child who really needed gentle care and affection and in a time of need, rather than getting that, I was fed to the wolves and eaten alive and left spat out the other end way worse than whatever horrid state I was in before I was eaten.
As far as the narrative goes, from that point my life froze for years until the past year or two, and it took a while to get time to restart, but while that pain and hurt is real and it was horrifically unjust and cruel and nothing that I deserved, I have the care and affection that I needed at the time here within the system and the few people in our life that our system puts in our company.
I was failed by the world and the adults and peers around me there and got horribly hurt and taken advantage of and that betrayal was deadly, but it really is okay now because I have what I need to live again. It still hurts if I sit on it and simmer on it and I don't think itll ever go away, but life continues beyond the simmer and I'm ever thankful for my second chance at doing and getting what I needed now that I am free and honestly, I am blessed to have the care and love I needed even if it came late and after a horrible failure.
I honestly have more support and care and a more intensely supportive system that helps me and cares about me more than I ever could have dreamt of having before hand, so honestly, I struggle to hold long term complaints. Horrible things happened, but I currently have way more than what I could imagine when I was in need, and its met so much more than I requested that it does honestly make up for all the bleeding wounds I took on.
I guess I forgive the world for the cruel joke cause I guess I am just thankful to be part of this system and have so many supportive peers in this brain and body with me. It makes me feel like part of something and like I belong and am wanted and cared and thats really all I wanted since I've existed. I'm pretty happy and satisfied and its weird to say considering I was trapped in it for years upon years, but the CSA trauma I held just seems to disappear in the background as a side arc to my life the longer I float around the front and Ray helps me integrate more into the system. It's authentically kind of becoming an "oh that, right" than the endless spiraling void it used to be.
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hello my darling lin 💞 i'm afraid i can't keep it to myself any longer, i must know all about your character tags, they're simply too intriguing 👀.
Ahhh, my loveliest Lizzie! Thank you so much for sending this ask my way, it was such a lovely and generous surprise to find in my inbox today! 🥹❤️ I have a lot of different tags for five separate works so, please, bear with me as I briefly try to elaborate on all of them skdskfjsksfjsk. I apologise beforehand for my seemingly endless rambles, though I hope it will turn out to be interesting nonetheless! 🥰✨️
VOIEVOD:
The majority of my tags come from my medieval magnum opus sksksk because numerous distinct characters are already detailed and elaborate in my mind — let’s dig into them! I do have to confess that some of these tags have yet to make a proper appearance, but I have prepared them in advance, just in case.
( oc: if i cannot move heaven i will raise hell ) — Vlad Dracula. This phrase is a well-known quote from Virgil’s Aeneid: “Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.” I have always felt that it perfectly encapsulates Vlad’s entire life — he is quite the prototype of a Machiavellian ruler willing to resort to more violent methods if needed (which we know very well from history, after all). Throughout the works, he repeatedly acknowledges his belief that he is destined for hell and expresses his willingness to sacrifice his soul for the greater good of his people. And he is also a very strong-willed and stubborn person who will always find a way to achieve his goals, whatever it costs him.
( oc: sanctuary ) — Cătălina. At first, I greatly hesitated to use this symbolism as I truly believe this remarkable woman is defined by much more than her role as the royal mistress and the mother of the voivode’s sons, and I try to depict that individuality of her character. However, this role does significantly influence her life and defines many of the decisions she makes. Throughout their relationship, Vlad sees Cătălina as his sanctuary because she accepts him as he is, loves him despite his perceived defects, and offers him a sense of belonging and peace. Sure, he loves that she keeps him on his toes, but this acceptance and the notion of having a kindred spirit give him the feeling of healing and safety. He can take off the many masks and let himself be exposed as he is, deep down. She also serves as a sanctuary for their sons, acting as the family’s anchor since they spend most of their time with her.
( oc: golden child; lion boy ) — Mehmed the Conqueror. His tag comes from the beautiful poem written by madzieloss on Tumblr, with the whole quote going, “Golden child, Lion boy; Tell me what it’s like to conquer.” I initially tried to use one of Mehmed’s poems from his diwan to make it a bit more personal, but this particular poem works perfectly because it encapsulates Mehmed’s whole essence — the Sultan of the Empire, the gifted child, the great conqueror. I also love using the recurring theme of gold and sun for his character. Gold represents the splendour of the Ottoman Empire, as well as his personal visuals (a lot of rich clothes and jewellery, the gilded Ottoman armour, his ginger hair and beard). Sun is the lovely little dichotomy seen in his character as it is both radiant and invigorating (his manners, generosity, education, intellect, aspects of rule), and merciless and blazing (his cruelty and the destructive sides of his politics towards other countries). Like the sun, he can either help grow or burn everything down.
( oc: the dragon ) — Vlad Dracul. I hate admitting that I could not come up with anything even remotely unique for Vlad’s dad as his moniker Dracul literally means “the Dragon” skdhskfskdks. However, the nickname was used for a reason, and we do not fix what isn’t broken in this house. The dragon’s role in medieval symbolism reflects a complex interplay between themes of heroism, morality, and the battle between light and darkness — on the one hand, the creature is seen as a protector and symbol of power, strength, and courage, but on the other hand, a dragon also represents a cunning and dangerous figure. He is called “the Dragon” both by people who admire him and despise him, so it shows the double meaning and the complexity of a ruler’s nature. At the same time, the meaning also spills over to his private life as he is both a figure of protection and (unwilling and unintentional) destruction to his family.
( oc: of burning martyrdom ) — Mircea Dracula. The eldest sibling is without a doubt the most tragic figure in the entire story, and I wanted his tag to reflect the tragedy and inevitability of his fate. He was killed at nineteen at the hands of his father’s enemies and in the cruellest way imaginable, and the “burning” part hints at some of the circumstances of his death. In his own way, he dies as a martyr because he dies refusing to give up his beliefs — and he is a martyr figure because the majority of his short life is marked with great struggles.
( oc: keeper of secrets ) — Alexandra. This tag is supposed to represent all the inner turmoil and complexities fighting one another inside Vlad’s younger sister. Because the two siblings share most of their personality and physical traits and are also close in age (there is a three-year gap between them), Vlad has always had a fond spot for his little sister and always considered her his little confidante — hence the meaning of keeping secrets. In return, Vlad has always been the brother who has granted Alexandra the most freedom and experience. She also keeps many secrets because there is a lot of her she has to repeatedly suppress inside of her — as I have mentioned, Vlad and Alexandra are quite alike, but Vlad’s personality tends to be accepted more while the same traits in Alexandra are often frowned upon.
( oc: cel frumos ) — Radu Dracula. My laziness shows here once again as that is Radu’s moniker, meaning “the handsome” or “the beautiful”. Radu has been given a fair share of horrible portrayals in media over the years, so I aim to further develop his character and show the varied aspects of his personality that are frequently overlooked. I initially tried to find something that would suit his complicated character but eventually settled on the nickname itself as it nicely shows the irony of his life and the most defining issue of his life — always being disregarded and reduced to only a sliver of his being.
( oc: cel mare ) — Ștefan the Great. (Or, as I like to call him, Fane.) There is no possible tag that would fit the famous Voivode of Moldavia and Vlad’s cousin (Vlad’s mother was a Moldavian princess) more than his own nickname, “the Great”. He is considered a national hero in both Romania and Moldova and undoubtedly earned his monicker through his actions.
OPEN HEART:
( c: i rise with my red hair and i eat men like air ) — Laura Levchenko. Her tag comes from Sylvia Plath’s poem called Lady Lazarus and, although I wanted to find a fitting quote from Lesya Ukrainka to represent Laura’s roots (that form a great part of her being), this one has the right amount of sharpness and edge fitting for my darling spitfire. Her fiery hair is undoubtedly one of her trademarks, and the quote also represents an independent spirit that will not be pushed down by being seemingly “inferior”. It also shows her own stance towards men, beginning with the painful experience with her dad and marking her whole life, as well as people who look down upon her.
( c: veni vidi vici ) — E.R. This is incredibly embarrassing because I was desperate to find something better for Ethan, something more fitting for his character… but there it is skdksfksldls. I do not think this quote even needs any introduction, so I will mention instead that “I came, I saw, I conquered” expresses the way Ethan achieves everything he sets his mind to, as well as the ferocity with which he pursues all his goals. When we compare his character to Laura’s, it might also imply the briskness with which he achieves certain things in life as a straight white American man — as opposed to Laura who is not only looked down upon for being a woman but also has to face a lot of xenophobia in her life. (You also want to re-enact the Ides of March on him sometimes but… I digress sksksk.)
CRIMES OF PASSION:
( c: this ghost sitting year after year upon my heart ) — Milena Rosa. This quote comes from Federico García Lorca’s play Yerma, in Spanish being, “este fantasma sentado año tras año encima de mi corazón”. I have to admit that I have yet to get myself familiar with Milena and craft her character in detail the way she deserves, but we know from canon that Jimmy’s tragic death greatly defines not only her own inner life (because she battles with all the demons his loss has inflicted upon her) but also the trajectory of her future career and the purpose she finds in her mission.
( c: bleeding sun ) — T.T. Trystan’s tag is from Lucie Thésée’s Poem, and the full quote goes, “Handsome as life and poison. Sun-blood handsome. Bleeding sun.” This was an instant fit because Trystan is undoubtedly the product of the environment he grew up in — Drakovia is both a place of beauty and vibrance, but we know its regime is bloody and deadly. Trystan will also never suppress the essence of who he is, and his character is both full of life and somewhat fierce (sometimes even violent) in nature. A lot of my worldbuilding for the story comes from my own experience as an Eastern European, and this little corner of the world is brimming with endless contradictions, so I tried to come up with something that would evoke that as closely as possible.
THE WAYHAVEN CHRONICLES:
( c: i am the sea and nobody owns me ) — Kimberley Cunningham. Kimble is my TWC newborn that I have only recently crafted into a character she should have been from the very beginning. Her tag is actually the legendary quote uttered by Pippi Longstocking which, apart from its fierceness, also fits Kimberley’s playfulness and carefree approach to life. She is a rebel through and through in every aspect of her life, which stems from the disastrous nature of her relationship with Rebecca. Her main objective in life is to do the exact opposite of what she is told, and she enjoys shocking people around her. But, just like the sea, she can be tempestuous and unpredictable, and some of her decisions can be quite destructive. Kimble ends up in the love triangle which kind of mirrors the rest of her life — initially harmless fun turns complicated and messy.
( c: a ribbon of loneliness ) — Sydney Brannagan. My poor baby Syd has been characterised through his melancholy since the very first moment, so I needed to find this little nugget that would instantly evoke his inner world. Then I found this quote by Jenny Slate that goes, “I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that there will always be a ribbon of loneliness running through who I am.” Loneliness runs through Sydney not only in the sense that he is such a sorrowful soul, but also because a part of him always feels so detached from others. All his life, he has felt like he has to prove his worth to his mother to feel accepted, and he also unconsciously builds a wall around him as the time goes by. In the professional setting, his personality does not stand out in any particular way — he is diligent and polite, some might even consider him a bit bland.
BLEEDING HEART:
I do feel like I need to give a bit more context for this interactive fiction beforehand, especially because there is only Chapter 1 out so far. The story is a retelling of Bram Stoker’s Dracula through the point of view of Mina Murray, and the first chapter already explores several wonderful themes I cannot wait to get my grubby little hands on! I have a very clear idea of who I want Mina to be, how she struggles in the setting and society she lives in, and how her personality drives her emotions and decisions. I do not know if my personal HCs will align with the story as it progresses, but there is nothing this user cannot tweak to her liking skdhskfjfksks.
( c: growing fruit around cyanide ) — Wilhelmina Murray-Harker. Mina’s tag is a part of a poem from a collection called Swallowtail by Brenna Twohy and goes, “Peach pits are poisonous. This is not a mistake. Girlhood is growing fruit around cyanide. It will never be your for swallowing.” Essentially, it encapsulates the conflict between who Mina seems to be on the outside and who she truly is on the inside. I have always felt like the Victorian times were one of the most suffocating periods for a woman to live in, and Mina always has to suppress a huge part of herself to somehow “fit the mould”, hence how she grows fruit around cyanide. Just like the society, her relationship with Jonathan also suffocates her — her engagement is a choice made out of reason, but she does not feel fulfilled with him in practically any way, which ultimately drives her into the arms of Dracula.
( c: the master of the night ) — Count Dracula. His tag is just the tweak of the quote from Bram Stoker’s Dracula: “Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!” Since he commands all the creatures and phenomena of the night, I have changed the bit to the “master”. I wish I had anything interesting to add to his character but, so far, I am waiting to see what he turns out to be like in Bleeding Heart — I know we are able to make him be the big villain or give him redeeming qualities, so I will wait and see which route will seem more fitting to me though I do play around with the idea of making Dracula more redeemable and a different character more villainous). Also, Count Dracula the Vampire has absolutely nothing to do with Vlad Dracula the Voivode in my fictional world — I know merging the two into one character is very popular, there is even one novel that did this that I absolutely love, but… not happening here lmao.
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linwritesif · 2 years
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not-sparkling water just tastes sad
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linelpisffxiv · 8 months
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The one thing I love about the G'raha fanbase is that...
I don't think we ship just one WoL or generic WoL with him.
I know I ship several specific WoLs with him and they aren't just mine.
Vivi is different from Raih'a is different from Z'ahra is different from Lin is different from Rai is different from Leilei is different from...
Like, I ship generic WoL and Meteor with him too, but like... I can list several specifics that I'm all over for it with.
(I also ship him with quite a few other NPCs too. Snoegeim, Deryk, and Hyth all have desires to or have tapped that in various other verses, especially Teri's and Mneme's. And I like the idea of G'raha/Estinien in that funny High School AU. And I'm certain we can get many more options in the future, but those are the three on the top of my list. There's literally only two/arguably three NoTPs I have. Well, other than G'raha/Any WoL not into him.)
Anyway, yeah. I don't think I'm the only one not pretending that these scenarios are secretly my WoL and just... genuinely cheering on and enjoying each specific WoL's personal story with him.
(This applies to many other characters as well. If I'm enjoying pics of your WoL with a character, I'm not pretending it's Meteor or mine there. Your WoL's relationship with Y'shtola is different from Teri's. Go let your WoL live their best life with her. And all the WoLs who are with other characters too. I'm just... cheering you on.)
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i'll be taking a small break
So… yeah.
tl;dr i'm taking a small break from posting content on tumblr, longer explanation (+a bit of a rambling of mine under the cut.)
I don’t know why, but for a bit now I’ve been having sort of an imposter syndrome (?), I don’t know if it’s even the right thing for it. Basically, every time I publish an update, I’m happy—like, super happy—but then weeks go by… and basically every time like, 3+ weeks go by, I start getting the more or less subtle questions about ‘when is the next update?’ or ‘how is the writing going?’ and I’m just ashamed to say for example, that I have not even started to write a chapter, or that I’m still on the first scene in some chapter. That I have no idea when will the next update be, or that I didn’t write anything in the last 2 weeks.
Realistically I know I can take all the time I want—there’s no rush, after all—but there’s still this heavy, nauseating feeling of shame all the time. Like a little voice telling me it’s not fair to keep people waiting, or that I could really post monthly updates if I only forced myself to, or prioritised it over things like mindless scrolling of tiktok, reading fanfics, or watching shows. I can’t even say I’m taking ‘inspiration’ because majority of the time I’m just doing anything but what I should be doing.
And I see others updating often, or pushing out so much quality content, dropping long game updates, and yeah I’m comparing myself and my work to them. Yes, I’m aware everyone’s writing pace is different, short updates are just as good as big ones, and I don’t have to constantly drop a lot of content on Tumblr. I’m frustrated because I know this, but it’s still there. 
I also don’t feel like part of the community a lot of the time, I don’t know why. I just feel like I’m watching everything from the sidelines, just sometimes pitching in but most of the time I’m just a passive observer that’s not really in it, if that makes sense. It’s something I struggle with in general, in offline-friend groups and communities etc., idk honestly.
I’ve had low-mental health days more often that good ones for the past 1-2 weeks, and Pride honestly… kind of just amplified it, because I can’t be open or I won’t have a job. I just won’t, there’s little to no chances that I’d be hired if I was out. I can’t be open or I will be assaulted—even if I just walk with a friend, holding their hand, we’re getting looks. After going to Pride, literally not even an hour later, a group of boys (and I mean boys, 10-18 years old) burst into an establishment I and others from Pride were in, started screaming slurs and derogatory things about queer people, and burned a pride flag. Security was there, didn’t do anything. No one did anything, honestly, because everyone kind of just didn’t want to be targeted next. I’m tired also of arguing that my sexuality, romantic attraction etc. are valid, or people from my own community misgendering me. 
Basically, a lot of things just… accumulated in the past weeks and so I think I’ll be taking a small break from posting content Tumblr, just to recharge, focus on finishing the university (only a month to go thankfully) and hopefully finishing one of the chapters. I’ll still probably pop in to check or shit-post sometimes, but yeah. 
Stay safe everyone <3
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hylias-gremlin · 1 year
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Have the collection of my simping predicament
Thank you @swordsoffour @sparklingpixies @trulytiredhermit for these lovely on point presentations of what's going on inside my brain.
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captainlindoesstuff · 2 years
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I feel like At World's End missed a great opportunity during the last act.
I never understood why they had Will Turner become the new captain of the Flying Dutchman cuz I think Elizabeth Swann was the far more superior choice cuz not only was she already the Pirate King but she seems to already know how to be a captain.
Plus the next few movies wouldn't have that giant plot hole as to why Elizabeth just didn't sail the seas to meet Will ever so often.
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blueberryschulott · 2 years
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I need to call Deutsche Bahn customer service but I’m scared cuz my German isn’t very good under pressure. So does anyone know if they speak English!?
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that-culdesac-kid · 11 months
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So I was looking at Tamarack and Qiu's expression sheets a while ago and noticed that they have two versions of blush.
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I thought: "Huh. I guess blush 1 is a soft blush and blush 2 is a deep blush?"
And since I was curious, I tried to compare the two by layering the images on top of each other.
That's when I realized...
TAMARACK'S NOSE TURNS RED WHEN SHE BLUSHES DEEPLY
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AND QIU DOES THE SAME WITH THEIR EARS
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THAT'S SUCH A CUTE DETAIL I-
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Fic writers, this is a free real estate. Do what you want with this information.
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miguelswifey04 · 8 months
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hi baes! if you do send requests or asks pls make them short pls pls pls…i’m gonna start college soon and i will not be able to write as fast or pump out fics…this is why i’ve been writing short drabbles lately 🥲 but i’m fine!! i’m js so slow and unmotivated lately, andddd i have sm going on in my life rn :,(
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thenumbersgameif · 2 years
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may i ask for some wisdom on how to start writing interactive fiction? if it's alright with you :))
that's perfectly alright!
i can explain to you my personal process how i go about it
personally, for me it starts with the inspirations--songs (mostly), art, shows, movies, games. i start to create the vague setting and then the characters; Romantic Interests or Companions.
I make mood boards for them, pinterest boards, playlists, write up their profiles, incorrect quotes with them.
I spend 1-2 days thinking about the WIP itself as well; if it's do-able. if it's not too complicated.
i write up every variable i want to have in a separate google doc, and i write up codes i want to/will use in another doc.
it's important to think if this is something you're ready to spend days working on; the coding and writing. you will likely experience burn out, get mean/entitled anons, commenters. it's important to consider that. some people might hate the characters you love, etc.
for SaS, i made the blog when i already had half of the prologue written. i published the done and beta tested demo on december (took me about a month to finish the prologue) and then i took a few months break, changing details about Chapter 1 many times.
for TNG, i made the blog with nothing written but the intro post. and it's still fun!
tumblr blogs are helpful to get a hold of what your characters are, + it gives (me) the motivation to write, because i see the feedback and that people enjoy my creations.
for SaS, the first thing I wrote to set it in stone were the endings. I knew how the story would end before I knew how it would begin (and i changed the beginning 2 times!)
for TNG, i'm more going with the flow of what i feel up to. the missions with the vibes of 'monster/criminal of the week', the domestic interactions, the tension, the angst, the humorous scenes.
so, to make semi coherent list and to sum it up:
Have (even a vague) sense of the world of you WIP
Have the characters (ROs, companions, side characters) drafted in any way, even vaguely
Think about the plot--what will keep you enticed with the IF
Think about what you want to read
(optionally) Draft an intro post and a tumblr blog--the if community here is 99% supportive of each other
Read up on coding, make a list of useful codes
Make a list of variables you want / you will use
you just started your If!
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system-of-a-feather · 7 months
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I'm gonna roast him cause he deserves it but Chunns an abrasive idiot. He's by far one of our most simply driven parts and honestly the one best at just being in the moment and all - he literally is primarily motivated by the opportunity to just think while doing monotonous tedious tasks by himself and listening to music. However, he deeply finds people stressful and irritating so he typically finds anyone being around him something disrupting his peace so he's very easily annoyed by people, and so he's very abrasive and when in a bad mood, intentionally or not, one of the meanest parts (to people outside of the system).
And so this dude is simultaneously one of our most peace-seeking peaceful parts AND one of the meanest and harshest parts at the same time. And while I 100% get it and understand the mechanism, the dissonance between what he seeks and what he does is just... brain splitting I swear to god.
He's actually a huge himbo who would admit himself that he has two flies buzzing around a rotting apple for a brain, but he presents so angrily and abrasively to most people irl it just... my dude you give me a headache
-Lin
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sunflowersand-bees · 1 year
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two types of PJO fans
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linwritesif · 2 years
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I’ve decided the peace lasted long enough.
I’m just gonna say it: cow milk tastes like a mistake
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issamultistan · 10 months
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Can you do a jungwon smut?
hiiii anonie!!!
although i said i wasn’t comfortable with it before i think i’ll ease into it? i won’t write 100% smut for him rn but i can right some suggestive stuff!! for now u guys can have this ;)
remember to block these tags if i do write for jungwon like this again!
needy!jungwon x gn!reader
contents: race neutral reader, slightly nsfw, dry humping, messy make out session, marking, lwk spit play if you squint :p
the squelch of your tongues mixing together became louder and louder as the two of you became more needy. jungwon already had the both of your tops off, his hands were scrambling around your warm body, griping and groping your shoulders, chest, and neck.
“y/n— i need you— right now.” jungwon pants out in faint breaths. too clouded in pleasure, you only could faintly whimper in response.
your legs found their way to wrap around one of jungwon’s legs to straddle on. slowly, your hips rock back and forth on his sweatpants.
small patches of sweat were appearing on both of your foreheads, causing you to want him even more amidst the heat. even then, jungwon’s messily slid his tongue down your neck, securing a place and sucking on the hot flesh.
a small whine left your lips, causing your hands to shoot up to his black, tussled hair, pushing him on you even further than he already was. you chanted jungwon’s name over and over quietly before a small chewp! left his lips.
the color from his hickey drove him insane. you were already hot, but even hotter with a hickey he placed on you. “c’mon, y/n. take off— your pants already. i’m actually— gonna go crazy if you don’t.” jungwon mumbles in heavy breaths.
“i will, won. i need you just as bad.”
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lin’s kpop masterlist !
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