#listen i HATE the 12 step job

[lovifie]

Lift Me Off My Feet

Chapter 12: Finale

Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

“You are not listening!” You shout, frustrated with the man.

In the couple of weeks that you have known and lived with them, you never expected that you would end up arguing with them. Even less with Price.

“No, Birdie. You are the one that needs to listen!” The man argued back.

“You got me fired, John! What else do you want me to hear?” You ask, running your hands through your hair. 

It finally set in, the reality that the idyllic life of living with the four of them without a worry was just an illusion. You were here because you were hiding, and they were here because they were hiding you. 

“I didn't get you fired, Birdie. Your boss did.” Price says, crossing his arms.

“Don't get sassy with me! He told you that they needed to know if I could get back to work any soon or they would be forced to fire me and you told them to do so!” You shout again, feeling like Price is lying to your face. “Why would you do that?!”

“Because you hate that job!” He shouts back. “And you don't need to work!”

“Yes, I do, Price! Yes, I do!” You say, a dry laugh leaving your throat. “Like everyone! I can't just live sponging off of you guys!”

“That's not what's happening and you know it, birdie!” He exclaims. “Don't manipulate the situation into making it look like a bloody transaction!”

“I'm manipulating the situation?!” You ask, pointing to yourself. 

“Yes! You are making it look like we are paying you to stay with us, birdie!” He explains, moving his hands to his hips.

“Oh, for god's sake, Price!” You exclaim, rubbing your face. “Why don't you exaggerate it a bit more?! I don't even know why I'm arguing with you about my job!”

“Neither do I?! Because I think it is pretty much settled!” He says, walking away towards the kitchen. 

“IT IS NOT SETTLE!” You scream, shocked by his response. “The reason why I don't know why we are arguing is because I don't know who gave you the right to choose over me!”

That makes him turn around, looking at you like you grow a second head. “Well, excuse me. For believing I have a say in your life, I just assumed I could since we bloody love each other and all that!”

“Don't pull that shit on me, Price! This has nothing to do with love!” You say, crossing your arms. “I don't have a say on your work! So why should you have it on me!”

“It's not the bloody same!” He says, rubbing his face.

“It's not for you because it doesn't benefit you!” You scream, looking back when you hear the door open as Gaz, Soap and Ghost enter the house. The three of them having left the house not too long ago to buy breakfast. 

“What's going on? We could hear the shouts from outside.” Gaz asks, entering first and looking between Price and you, seeing the wide cliff between the two of you.

“Nothing!” Price barks, crossing his arms again. 

You ignore the looks on everyone's face, instead walking to the door. 

“Where are you going now?!” Price asks, moving to be able to see you.

“Out! So I can fucking breathe without feeling I'm choking!” You say, opening the door after the boys closed it. 

“Don't go far!” Price says, still caring under all his bad mood 

“I KNOW I CAN'T GO FAR!” You say, slamming the door on your way out.

You hate screaming, hate shouting, hate raising your voice and even more if it is at Price or any of the men inside. It's not their fault and screaming at each other is not the way to fix it. But you can't help it, tired of being pushed around at everyone's mercy without asking what's your choice. 

Sitting down on the step right outside the house, not wanting or needing to go any further, you hide your face behind your hands, letting your palms get wet with your tears. 

“Hey, you alright?” A man's voice says, making you look up, to come face to face with an unfamiliar face. 

You don't have time to answer, because something hits the back of your head and everything blends to black.

Price updates the boys once you are out, he tells them your ex-boss called, told him you needed to get back to work the next day or he would fire you, he tells them how he told him to go ahead since you couldn't go back to work jet, he tells them about how he wasn't able to tell you about the empty position at base that you could filled to work with them because you started screaming, he tells them about how he lost his cool and just screamed back instead of explaining.

He tells them everything, feeling like the worst person in the world for making you leave the house with tears on your face. It's Gaz the first one to stand up. “I'll check on her.” He mumbles, as he walks outside to an empty staircase. He walks down, checking both sides of the street only to find it just as empty. 

An anxious feeling starts to brew on his stomach, entering back to the house with a worried expression on his face. “She's gone.” He says almost casually, as if not voicing one of the biggest fears the men around him have had for the last month.

“What do you mean she's gone?” Soap asks. “She must be around the block, she'll be back in a bit, mate.”

No one believes him, not even himself. You wouldn't have walked out of his sight like that, not without dragging them with you, not without a phone, not without telling them. 

There is a beat of silence, each debating whether it is plausible that you simply left, all of them feeling that the most possible chance is that something happened to you. 

“I'll check the car camera, it is parked right in front of the door.” Ghost says, taking his phone out to check it. 

They all check the screen, seeing the door open and close. They see you sit down, body shaking as you cry, Price feeling his heart shrunk at the sight knowing it was his doing. 

They then see the two men walking in front of you, how one of them takes advantage that you have your face covered to stand behind you, how the other calls your attention to look at your face, and how once he knows it's you he nods to the other man, who knocks you out hitting you with a bat at the back of your head.

The wave of all the different emotions hitting them at once keeps them in place for a second, paralyzed on their chair. Soap jumps first, talking about checking the cameras on the street, checking the cars, their licence place, anything. 

But it doesn't reach Price's ears, the only thing he can hear is the voices in his head telling him that he has failed twice now. The first one he wasn't able to keep you close enough when you left in the middle of the night, and now he was the one that pushed you away. 

You were just on the other side of the door a moment ago and now… now he didn't know where you were. All because he didn't explain himself and let his emotions take control of him.

“Price!” It's Ghost's voice that wakes him up, standing beside the sergeants. “Move.”

That's all he says, and that's all Price needs. 

They'll get you back, whatever it takes. 

Two weeks.

That is what it takes them to finally find a trail.

That is what it takes Price to breathe again.

That's what it takes Simon to let be seen outside the office.

That's what it takes Soap to let himself be embraced by any of the others.

That's what it takes Gaz to stop baring his teeth to everyone. 

They have a trail. 

And god knows that's all they need. 

What you need, is a doctor. A shower. A glass of water. A nap. Anything that is not forced or thrown at you. 

Two weeks of torture. 

Two weeks of just getting hurt, insulted, humiliated, all of it just for the purpose of causing you pain. 

The henchmen of the man you used to say good morning to were the ones that have stolen you away. 

The ones that have thrown you into an empty dark room.

The ones that have “interrogated” you about who you worked for. 

The ones that have “interrogated” you about how much they paid you. 

You didn't say a word, which usually resulted in a punch to the face or a kick to the ribs. 

You want to believe that they will find you. 

That they will take you back home.

That Price will forgive you for shouting at him.

Hell, if you die and the last thing you did was shout at him.

You'll live.

They'll find you.

Two weeks.

Of fighting with yourself.

The side that says you'll live.

And the side that tells you to give up already.

The second one usually wins.

Like today, when the man that enters the room every day walks up to you, limping and with a knife in his hand. 

He yanks your hair, pulling you up on your feet and pressing the knife on your throat. “Make a sound and it'll be the last thing you do.”

He moves you into a chokehold, pushing you in front of him as he walks down the hall. There is shouting and the sound of guns inside the building. 

The moment he sees the car where they push you in, the one they saw on the cameras; Price almost needs to pull Simon back from running inside the building.

This is it.

This is the headquarters they couldn't find for so long. 

The headquarters where all the important information and the guns they have looked for so long are at.

The headquarters where everything that matters is.

The headquarters where they kept you at. 

Price sends Ghost to the building on the other side of the road, not trusting the man in face to face with what they can find inside. 

And he obliges, hating the rank differences.

They move in, clearing room after room.

No sign of you.

The move to the second floor.

You are not there.

More and more people that hit the ground when they found them.

You are still missing. 

Until you see it. 

The unmistakable blue cap on Gaz's head.

And you shout.

You shout louder than you shout at Price.

You shout louder than when Soap scared you hiding behind the door. 

You shout louder than when you called for Ghost when you thought he fell on the shower but it was just the shampoo bottle.

You have never shouted at Gaz.

Until now.

And the moment you do you feel the blade dig into your skin, moving your hand between the knife and your neck.

The three of them turn to you, immediately updating Ghost and telling him to move. 

The window behind you is almost like a target for a perfect shot. 

But Ghost can't shoot.

Not when he can see your head.

Not when there is a possibility that he may hit you. 

But he can when you move.

When you grab the blade, breaking the skin of your fingers, and you pull back just enough to squish yourself down. 

You are still against his chest, the man still holding you. But Ghost can now see your head, lower than before. And the arms around you quickly go limp, falling forward taking you with him. 

A ringing in your ear keeps you from Price's voice calling your name. Everything is dizzy for a moment, there is a warm sensation on your elbow and when you look back a red pool of blood is bleeding onto your clothes.

You liked that t-shirt. 

You'll need to try with peroxide, see if you can take the stain out. 

Your brain ignores the corpse lying next to you, but for some reason you can't stop looking at the blood on your elbow.

It isn't until Price cups your face, your grimey, bloody and sunken face. And you look up to him, his blue eyes. 

And you let yourself cry.

After two weeks.

You cry.

So hard you can't see nor hear anything. 

You cling onto Price, hiding your face on his neck, digging your nails on his back needing to feel him under your skin. 

Apologies fly from one to the other.

For shouting, for pushing away, for failing to protect, for not shouting, for being taken away.

You feel two more pairs of arms around you, feeling the fourth person only when you start to leave the building. 

Not much longer an ambulance arrives, finally taking you to safety.

The four men in the car right behind. 

Recovery is just as slow.

No permanent physical damage.

But not all the wounds are on the skin.

Those heal quite fast. 

And soon you are back on your feet. 

On your scared, wobbly feet.

The boys are back around, always one of them close.

“I'm never leaving you out of my sight again.” Price says, cupping your face as he kisses your forehead. “I don't care if I sound like a madman.”

They make it easy to get back.

Price finally tells you about the job at base, which you gladly apply for.

Surprisingly you got it, and started working soon.

It was easy.

You got a better flat, easy to pay when four more people chime in for the bills. 

You got a better job, with better pay and a better boss.

You got, not only one, but four lovers. 

And you have all the time of your life to heal everything that's left. 

You still wonder how you managed to get into your garage that night. 

But now you're glad you did.

And with this, ladies and gentlemen.

Lift Me Off My Feet comes to an end ❤️.

Thanks for joining along, for all the support that you have given me the last couple of months, for the patience between chapters, special thanks to @darkangel4121 for listening to me complain so much and to everyone who has joined and will join the blog.

I love you, my lovelies 💗

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[miniwheat77]

Brat. (dbf!Captain Price x Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, oral sex (f receiving), using worms as bait, age gap, (sorry if I missed any)

Your body feels warm, the hot sun beating down on you as you swam with one of your friends in her swimming pool. You had one as well but her parents weren't as strict as yours so you spent most of your time there.

You had just turned 18 but since you still lived with them for the time being you had no other choice but to follow their rules. You still had a curfew, had to tell them when and where you were going and what time you would be home. They still had to approve of it of course. Although they rarely ever told you no anymore since you were 18.

Your dad sat at an old wooden bar in and old dive bar him and his best friend, John Price liked to hang out in. They've been neighbors for years and years and it's essentially how their friendship started. They spent every holiday, game day, barbecue, and family get together with each other since then. They got along well, never fought. John was invited to everything and since he didn't have a family of his own it wasn't too hard for him to show. He wasn't married, had no kids, and lived too far away from his parents and siblings to plan the flights. He also didn't know when he'd be deployed but since he took on a job on the base and was only backup for missions, he was always home. Usually worked a 9-5 on the base. It was out of the ordinary for him and apart of him felt useless but it paid the bills. He was still there if they needed him anyways.

You dad was tipping the whiskey back like it was water which only meant one thing. Something was stressing him out.

John smiles after drinking some of his own bourbon. "Something going on mate?" He asks your dad. "Ah yeah. Y/N has been driving me crazy lately." He groans. "Me and her mom." He laughs. John tilts his head in confusion. "What's been going on?" He asks. "If you don't mind me asking of course."

"To be honest? I don't know. She's just been a real grouch lately. Has an attitude, doesn't listen, complains all the time. We've given her much more freedom since she turned 18 so I'm not sure where it's coming from." He shrugs. John nods his head. He's still listening. "I mean.. we convinced her to go to the doctor to get a few scans and blood work done, thinking maybe it was hormone imbalance or a mood disorder but those all came back fine and seemed to piss her off even more to be honest." He shrugs. "She got something going on in her personal life? Maybe she's fighting with a friend or boyfriend?" John asks. Your dad shakes his head. "She hates guys her age. Hates pretty much everyone she isn't close with anyways. She always said she won't date until she's older after her first boyfriend but I mean. She was like 12 so it was stupid anyways. She's only got a couple close friends and that's where she is right now. I don't know what it is." He tips back another shot of whiskey.

"Must just be moody. Maybe you guys should come out to the lake with me this weekend. I’m taking the boat out.” He shrugs. “Yeah that sounds good.” Your dad smiles. “Maybe getting out of the house will help her out.” He shrugs.

“I don’t know, I just know she’s in my damn nerves.” He laughs. Once they finish up their drinks, they part ways. Driving down the same roads to get home since they were neighbors. They’d usually carpool together but they’d met after work. When your dad arrives home, you’re home already. Watching a show on the couch. He closes the door behind him as he steps inside, smiling when he sees you. “Hey. John invited us out to go fishin this weekend. I said we’d go.” He smiles. “Do I have to?” You mumble. “Yes.” A grumble leaves your lips. “I’m not sure what the attitude is but it better quit young lady.” You roll your eyes, going upstairs to your room. Throwing yourself back on your bed with a groan.

—

John smiles at your dad, he’s sitting up at the front of the boat. You’re laying on your stomach, bikini leaving little to the eyes, you’ve got a pair of sunglasses on and you haven’t spoken much the entire trip. “John, you mind letting me off at the doc? I’m gonna go get another case of beer.” He nods his head, starting up the boat and making his way to shore. He lets your dad off, letting him know he’s going to go back out with you and to let him know when to come get him. When he’s back out on the lake and the anchor is down, he flips his hat around. Scooping up some water with his hand and flicking it all over you. He draws a gasp from your lips and you turn around, “John what the hell!” You gasp. Wiping the water down. “Cmon kid. You’re driving your poor ol’ man nuts. What’s with the attitude?” He crosses his arms, lazy smile playing at his lips. “I don’t have an attitude. Why does everyone keep saying that?” You roll your eyes. “Oh come on. The eye rolling, talking back, ignoring people when they talk to you. Being a real brat little lady.” He teases. You grumble, laying back down. “Nope. Cmon. You’re gonna try fishing. You’ll have fun.” He picks up a fishing pole. “We’re using worms. I mean.. you can use power bait but the stocked fished are smaller than natural spawn fish. It’s up to you.” He shrugs, holding out the styrofoam container that has the worms in it. You sigh, taking it from him. “You want me to show you how to put a worm on?” He asks. “Yeah sure.” You mumble. “Alright, here. You basically just thread it through the top.” You watch him hook the worm and thread it on, watching as it squirms. You take the pole from him, casting it out into the water and waiting.

Pretty soon, there’s a boat full of younger guys creeping up near you. They cat call you, yelling out obscenities at you. You ignore them, rolling your eyes. John is a little amused because he knows what your dad has said about guys your age and how you hate dating. They leave just as quickly as they come. “Can we just home? This is boring.” You roll your eyes. “No, not until we catch some fish.” He laughs.

This is where he starts to see it.

When you think he’s not paying attention, you’re adjusting yourself. Sliding awkwardly on the seat, rubbing up against your fishing pole for any sort of friction. Acting more and more bratty as the time ticks on. It’s amusing to John really, to see just how frustrated you are. “Where is my dad? He’s been gone a long time.” John shrugs. He pulls out his phone. He notices a text from your dad, seeing that he’s received a text from him a few minutes before.

You mind giving Y/N a lift home? Her mom texted me and said she took a bad fall at work and is in the ER.

Yeah no problem at all, see you later mate.

“He said your mum fell at work so he’s going to go see if she’s okay. It’s just me and you kid.” John sits down. “So we can go home now?” You ask. “No.” He laughs. You mutter something under your breath. He laughs. Your fishing pole bobbing startles you and John perks up. "You got a fish!" You set the hook, yanking the fishing pole and starting to reel it in. The fish puts up a pretty good fight and when you reel it closer to the boat, John scoops it up with the fishing net for you. Helping you get it off the hook. "Look at that darling." He smiles as you pick it up. "Good girl, see? This is fun." He smiles. His statement takes you off guard, cheeks heating up. "Uh.. Yeah. Whatever." You shut down quickly. He thinks it's odd at first. Once you've thrown the fish back into the water, he sits down across from you at the front of the boat.

He looks around, making sure no one else is around. “Look. I know what’s going on.” He smiles. “Yeah? And what’s that?” You look at him. “Well.. I’m putting two and two together here. The attitude, the never wanting to go out.” He smirks. You look up at him. “I mean.. you’ve been grinding up against your fishing pole since I gave it to you. Rubbing your thighs together when that boat full of guys came by.” Your lips part slightly, cheeks going red. "And when I called you a good girl." He chuckles, seeing how you start to squirm from his watchful eyes on you. “Do you not know how to make yourself cum sweetheart?” He laughs. "T-that's inappropriate John." You look away from his gaze, thankful your sunglasses help conceal your embarrassment. He laughs. "Oh come on, what your dad doesn't know won't hurt him, besides. You've been on his nerves lately and if I help you out, maybe he won't be so stressed out. So talk to me." He smiles. You stay quiet and he moves across the boat, sitting right next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulders. "You can talk to me darling. I can help you." Your heart rate picks up, it's racing in your chest. "I.. I don't know what you want me to say." You breathe. You're one step away from panting at his close proximity. The only thing you can think about are his hands on you. "Have you ever had sex before?" He asks. You shake your head. "Have you.. done anything at all?" You shake your head again. "I've tried to it myself but it makes it worse." You look down at your hands nervously playing with them.

He smiles. Right now, John is thankful there is a room below on his boat. "I can show you." He rests his hand on your thigh, feeling you stiffen up under his touch. "O-okay." You breathe. "Come on." He grasps your hand. There aren't many boats left on the water, it's getting late in the day and everyone is going home thankfully, you might get a little loud. He pulls you down the small set of stairs into the cabin of the boat. It's really small. He makes sure to wash his hands before he touches you, having you do the same.

There's a small bed and a table and chairs and that's it. "Lay on your back." You swallow hard, getting up onto the bed. His deep voice has your clit throbbing at the attention it knows it's about to get. You're sure you've soaked through your panties. He leans onto the bed, helping you remove your bathing suit. When your bottom half is exposed to him, he wants to drool. "God you're beautiful." He groans. He glides his hands down your exposed thighs, causing chills to rise on your skin. You're panting now, small gasps leaving your lips. "Relax." He chuckles. "I'm going to help you, try to calm down sweetheart. You're too eager." He runs his fingertips over your skin, his touch is searing, it burns your skin as his fingers move across you. You want his hands on you. You want them inside of you. He takes a deep breath of his own, trying to ignore the way his cock throbs against his cargo shorts. "Start slow. Little circles on your clit." He reaches forward. "Like this." He breathes. He uses his thumb, rubbing circles over you. Your lips part slightly, a whimper leaving your lips. It’s different when he’s touching you. You can feel your lower stomach swirling, something is building already. “You try.” He draws his hand away. Resting your hand over your mound, rubbing circles over your clit just as he said. The sensation is gone just as fast as it came, causing you to whimper out at the loss, your touch feels like nothing. You draw your hand away. “This isn’t going to work John, it doesn’t work.” You blush.

You try to sit up but he pushes you back. “Have you ever cum before?” He asks. You shake your head. “Oh darling.. no wonder you’re so bratty.” He smiles. “All of that sexual tension and no way to release it. Poor thing.” He’s teasing you, but at the same time actually feels really bad. He knows it’s harder for you to cum. “Stop it John.” You try to push him off, tears gathering in your eyes from frustration. “I’m just teasing darling, let me help you.” He moves himself up further, grasping your thighs and pulling you down on the bed further, you let your head rest back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. The boat rocks back and fourth over the water. You’re nervous. You don’t know what he’s going to do to you. He moves himself between your legs, and you don’t understand what's going on until you feel something warm and wet against your entrance. You lift your head up, jumping at the sensation. “Oh f-fuck!” You gasp. He glances up at you. He’s still got his hat on, but he’s flipped it backward by now. Giving himself room to devour you. He moans into your opening, you taste sweet. You’re breathing hard, clutching at the sheets as he flicks his tongue over your clit. He starts slow, letting your sensitive nub get used to the sensation of his tongue, not wanting to overwhelm you. You clutch at the sheets, melting further and further into him as he laps at your entrance with his tongue. It's clear that he's had a fair share of experience. You feel something building in your stomach and you know you're about to cum.

You're getting louder and louder, crying out his name and he's never imagined himself in such a position.

This is just to help her dad, so that he isn't so stressed out.

That's all.

John rocks his hips into the bed, cock hard and throbbing against his shorts. Begging for some kind of friction. He imagines your pretty lips around his cock, maybe your pretty eyes looking up at him as you take him further down your throat. He groans into you earning another moan from your lips. When you're wet enough from his spit and your arousal, he slides a couple of his fingers into you. Feeling you tense up around him, all of the air leaving your lungs, you've never had anything inside before and he can't help but smile into you.

He sucks against your clit, swirling his tongue around it, you're squirming, struggling to stay still beneath him, even his grip on you doesn't keep you completely still. He sucks your clit into his mouth one more time, lapping his tongue over you, his fingers curling into the sweet spot inside of you and you lose it, lips parting as moans leave your lips. A mewl leave your lips and you squirm out of his grasp as he desperately laps up your arousal from your orgasm. You push him away, closing your legs. You're looking at him with a look of pure shock, panting, a little sweaty. The look you're giving him it's unsettling how fucked out you look. He wipes his lips of you, looking up at you. "Do you feel better?" He laughs. You nod your head. "Good. Try to relax." He smiles. "Still got about an hour of light left, let's make it worth while and try to catch some fish yeah?" He smiles, standing up. When he's out of your line of sight, he sucks the taste of you off of his fingers. Groaning at himself.

What has he just gotten himself into?

[pretty-circa006]

Unhealthy Attachments pt.3

Space

◀︎previous part

Coach! Negan x Student! F! Reader

summary The relationship between you and Negan progresses, but is that necessarily a good thing? tags mentions of bullying, violence, angst, crying

wc 1.2k words

*you are responsible for your own content consumption. if this is something you DO NOT like, simply DO NOT read or interact! :) *

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ 

 It was finally the Friday before spring break. After what happened yesterday, you didn't want to come to school, but you had to give Negan his sweater back. You were tempted to keep the garment and just tell him you lost it, but stealing is wrong which is why you washed it and put it in your backpack to give back to him. 

...

 Your leg bounced anxiously as you watched the clock. Lunch couldn't come sooner. It wasn't that you were starving and eager to eat, you just wanted to be with Negan. Today was going horribly; people would point and snicker whenever you walked by but just roll their eyes and ignore you whenever you asked what was so funny. Being the butt of a joke always sucked, but not knowing what the joke was made it that much worse. As soon as the clock read 12:45 and the lunch bell rang, you were out of there, backpack on your back and quickly striding down the halls. 

"Hurrying off to see your boyfriend?" Some random taunted in the hallway. You ignored them, not knowing who they were or what they were talking about and continued your path to the gymnasium. 

"Hi!" you greeted cheerily. You felt better once you were in his office. Spending time with Negan felt like stepping into the sun after being in a freezing room. 

"Hello," he replied, but he didn't sound like his usual self. He greeted you as if you were any other student and not his favorite. You parked yourself in your usual chair and handed him his sweater. 

"Thanks again for helping me out yesterday," you mumbled, cringing at the memory of being in that locker room. He just hummed in response and accepted the sweater. You were on edge, he was off and not knowing why made your heart sink. Was he mad at you? Had he finally had enough of you coming into his office every day? You wanted to ask, but every time you thought you built up the courage to, the words died in your throat. You took out your lunch and handed Negan the extra sandwich you always packed for him. Concern flooded your face when he didn't accept. 

"Is something wrong?" you asked weakly. 

 Negan sighed. He didn't want to hurt you like this, but he had no choice if he wanted to keep his job. He already felt bad for being so cold toward you, but he needed to bite the bullet and get this over with. 

"Listen, kid." He knew you hated when he called you that. He called all his students 'kid' since he didn't feel like memorizing so many names; so him calling you that really made you feel less special. 

"You can't keep comin' in here during lunch...or ever." Your face dropped and you started nervously fidgeting with your fingers. 

"Why? Did I do something wrong?" Negan noticed you were already struggling to fight back your tears, which made this all the more harder. 

"There have been rumors going around and in light of those rumors, I realized it is inappropriate for us to be hanging out together like this." 

“What rumors?” You asked indignantly. He so desperately wished you could connect the dots and figure it out for yourself so he didn’t have to say it, but he knew your mind wasn’t twisted like that. So disgusting and twisted as to think that something as innocent as a teacher and student sharing lunch could be anything but that. 

“Rumors that…” he thought of a more delicate way to put this, not wanting to say ‘people think we’re fucking,’ “the relationship between us is inappropriate. Inappropriate in the way that I could lose my goddamn job, you could get fuckin’ expelled, or I could even get my ass thrown in jail.” He didn’t mean to raise his voice, especially after seeing the way you cowered in your seat with tears silently streaming down your face. 

“B-but we’re not doing anything wrong? Can’t you j-just tell them that?” You pleaded. 

“Now you know that won’t work,” he said softly. 

“I-I’ll tell them, I c-can explain-” He said your name firmly, and that shut you up immediately. 

“You gotta go. Now.” He gestured to the door and waited for you to leave. Your hands shook as you placed Negan’s sandwich on his desk and clumsily gathered your things, the tears blurring your vision making it difficult. Your pleading eyes bored into his hazel ones as if to beg him to take it all back, but he couldn’t, and he couldn’t even bear to look at you anymore. 

“Negan?” You whimpered. 

“Out.” 

You grabbed your backpack and hurried out the door, closing it gently behind you. Negan let out a sigh, not quite one of relief, but he still felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, but at the cost of a pit in his stomach. He was relieved that he may have put the rumors to rest, but having to hurt you in order to do so overshadowed that relief. He looked up at the clock, only five minutes had passed since lunch started, meaning he left you to fend for yourself for the remaining time. When he grabbed the sandwich you left him, guilt crushed him. How you could still be so kind to him after he deliberately crushed your heart puzzled him. 

…

“Break up with your boyfriend?” One of the girls from yesterday jeered as you stormed through the halls. Her smug face boiled your blood. The one good thing you had going for you at this hellhole of a high school was ripped from you by the very people who made your life a living hell in the first place. The aggravating laugh that tore from her throat had you seeing red. The ringing in your ears tuned out everything but her shrill laughter and before you knew it your fist made contact with her face, knocking her over. She wasn’t the only person who’s bullied you, but she was the one beneath you, at your mercy, so you took out all those years of repressed rage on her face. You landed blow after blow on her, her pained screams nothing but background noise. 

“Leave me alone!” You sobbed as your rage dissipated into emptiness. Seeing the bloodied half-conscious girl wailing on the floor brought you back to your senses. The shocked faces of the surrounding crowd of students as staff hurried to the girl’s aid made you nauseous. You were yanked up from the floor by someone, your mind was too addled to care who, and dragged to the principal’s office. You looked back at the scene only to make eye contact with a shocked Negan. You tore your eyes from him, not wanting him to see you like this, to see this side of you you didn’t even know existed. Neither did Negan. He was actually happy to see you defend yourself for once instead of just rolling over and taking it. He couldn’t even hide the pride that swelled in his chest. 

 You felt numb sitting there in the principal’s office waiting for one of your parents to get here. This was no way to start spring break. 

next part ▶︎

[jinxedmuse]

고갤 들어 헤매다 꽃은 피어

🌒 purple rose — yoon jeonghan 윤정한

🎵 all night - beyoncé, bartender - lana del rey, kiss me - cassie, fantasize- ariana grande, girls need love (w/ drake) - summer wlkr, so anxious - ginuwine, like i need u - keshi, tumblr girls - geazy, next to you - bryson tiller, 7 exp ver - jk

in which: you find out that your cranky boss at your bartending job turns out to be quite the mischievous co-host of an exclusive bdsm club. not wanting to back down, you try to ignore this new found info when at work. but once blurred lines are already crossed, can they really be forgotten?

authors note: hiiii! im kinda proud of this:?/! (spoiler i hate this rn) this is part 1 of 2. started writing this 4 days ago after watching thing 1 & thing 2 & developing a filthy jh brain rot >< not proof read (clearly , ew) but enjoy plz & ty :,)!!

warnings: fem biology, v frequent cursing, absolute filthy smut (bdsm including but not limited to: degradation/praise, oral/cunnilings, raw sex,consented force, restricting toys, & etc) angst (?), alcohol, use of mj, pet names; princess, darling, slut

tags: 25 y/o bartender!reader x 27 y/o boss!jeonghan — boss/subordinate to fuck buddies to lovers (?)

friday 5:48pm kst

you exit the employee break room after hearing some frustrated curses and grunts. to no surprise, you see your boss yoon jeonghan, struggling with something up front.

you approach him cautiously, “you okay boss?” once you’re by him, you see clearly what he’s struggling with; the tap handle.

shit.

you were supposed to tell him about that problem like an hour earlier.

“no. it’s this stupid fucking lever that won’t go down and when i try-“ you listen to his complaints silently, biting your bottom lip. a habit you’ve formed whenever you get anxious.

he realizes how quiet you suddenly got and he pauses, looking at you with a slightly raised eyebrow.

“why do you look like you know this already?”

fuck fuck fuck.

you let out a stale laugh, jokingly slapping his back. “haha what? no way, is that the tap handle? yeah so about that, i meant to tell you earlier but i forgot because i was busy with the..?”

the? the? the absolutely nothing. the truth is you forgot all about the stupid, useless lever as soon as your boss walked into work. his sleeves rolled up, his first two buttons unbuttoned and his semi-long hair pulled into a ponytail.

he takes a step back from you, putting his face in his hands and taking a deep breath. he drops his hands, putting one into his pocket and taking his other hand and poking your shoulder back with every few words he said up until you were completely back up unto the wall behind you.

“the first thing i asked you when i walked in here, was if there was something i needed to know. cat got your tongue staring at me or what?”

your head hit the wall slightly. not enough to hurt but enough to make your breath hitch. you were starting to get aggravated with the demeaning tone he constantly had with you.

you muster up your best apology, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

“i really am sorry. won’t let it happen again boss.”

he lets out a sardonic laughter before completely turning his back to you and garnering attention from the rest of the team.

“when i ask you if there’s something i need to know, you tell me immediately. not less than an hour before opening, yeah?” he says clearly and sternly. eyes going cold for a moment.

they all nod their head in compliance, looking at you from the corner of their eye. some out of pity and some annoyance.

almost as soon as it was there, his mild scowl left. replaced with his notorious, easygoing smile. he claps his hand before looking at his watch. “great. everybody take positions, we open in 10 minutes.”

saturday 12:39 am kst

“i’m seriously, seriously, so fucking over him. as soon as i rack up enough money for a new apartment elsewhere, i’m quitting this job,” you say with a huff, falling back into your reclinable chair.

your best friend, hae won had picked you up from work after your 8-hour shift and brought you home. you both were currently on your patio as she let you vent your heart out into the night.

she lays out a blanket over you and goes to sit down across from you. “babe, you say that after every shift.”

you set down your drink in exasperation. “you don’t know what he’s like. he’s so fucking passive-aggressive- scratch that, just aggressive. only towards me!” you complain while flailing your arms.

she looks at you, amused by your expressive way of telling stories and the reactions that match them.

“and you think he’s singling you out?” she asks raising an eyebrow.

“he might as well be! dude, i fuck up once in a while and it’s like i’m begging on my knees to keep my job, meanwhile that jisoo guy- which i’m sure they’re friends by the way, could sleep on the job and he’d probably get a raise. it’s like they’re evil twins!”

hae won lets out a sympathetic laugh before speaking. “hm i would’ve never thought he was like that. he’s hot. like, beautifully hot. especially when he has his long hair?”

she lets out a cat call-like whistle into the air and you both erupt in laughter.

“i mean, i guess he is,” you say as y’all simmer down, agreeing with her comment. to deny it would be a blatant lie. if there’s one thing yoon jeonghan, it was beautiful.

his hair is always perfectly styled. he had these intense eyes when he was focused on working. he’d roll up his sleeves and sometimes stand behind you, instructing you how to work something with a low voice.

she interrupts you out of your thoughts, eyes scheming with a look that says she has a plan.

“you know what you need?” she asks getting closer to the table. you look up at her desperately. eager to hear what it is she has to say this time.

“to get laid. like some mind-blowing sex that distracts you from all this work bullshit.” she deadpans.

you let out a stale laugh, not taking her seriously. “right, and where am i gonna find the time for that? and don’t say a dating app because i’m cursed with those things.”

her face remains serious, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.

“wanna know a secret?” she asks while scooting her chair closer to yours. you lean into her, slightly curious at what random, outrageous plan she is cooking up.

“i have a club i go to,” she says simply. you back up & look at her perplexed; was this the big secret that she was supposedly hiding?

you pick up your beer, taking a sip. the cool foam hitting the back of your throat before the actual drink does. “what club? did a new one open in Hongdae?”

she takes a sip from her can, a non-alcoholic beer, while slightly shaking her head. “no, not that type of club. they’re having an event this weekend, come with me on sunday?”

now you’re skeptical, had your best friend been lured into something? “this better not be some cult shit, i already deal with enough of those recruiters on the way to work.”

hae won loosens up now, returning to her playful nature and laughing at your claim. “it’s not. i promise, i’ve been there before.”

you thought this through for like half a second. you had work on monday but so what? you haven’t made an impulsive decision in a while.

“alright, why not.”

hae won claps in excitement, eyes practically beaming with delight. she had finally roped you into her plan.

she finishes up her drink and starts getting up while speaking.

“good! wear all black, doesn’t matter what and make sure it’s ‘accessible’ if you know what i mean.”

grabbing her coat and purse, she winked and left. heading home for the night.

sunday 10:15pm kst

your rush up to your best friend's car while pulling down your mini-trimmed black skirt. it had paired up well with an off-the-shoulder, see-through, black button-up shirt that you were wearing with no bra.

you had decided against safety shorts after thinking about it for like 5 minutes in front of your mirror before just saying fuck it.

a big regret.

“get in, we’re already kinda late.”

you get into the car, close the door, and start zipping up your black, knee-high, faux leather boots. “well hello to you too, princess” you say jokingly.

she was wearing almost the same thing as you but instead of a top and skirt combo, she had opted for a sheer, slightly see-through, button-up mini-black dress with thigh-high boots.

“oh and put this on once we reach” she hands you what seemed like a masquerade mask. it had a gold band with cute gold fringes and small cat-like ears at its peak.

that didn’t stop you from being completely thrown off guard though. “dude what type of fucking club is this?”

she puts a finger on her lips before starting the engine and pulling out of the lot. “shh just trust me, this shit is gonna rock your mind”

10:28 pm kst

when you finally arrived at the destination, you looked through the car window and your mouth immediately dropped.

undoing your seatbelt, you got out of the car with your best friend who was taking quick and hasty steps towards the front door.

you follow her and find yourself standing in front of the giant double doors, practically in a state of shock. “why are we at a mansion right now?” you ask while trying not to freak.

hae won looks at you, smiling before pulling her mask up to her face and ringing the doorbell once and then knocking on the door twice. “nice, right?”

“yeah but where is the club? you know what—fuck this, i’m out” you start walking away but your best friend tugs you back and quickly hands you your mask once more.

you give her a stern look but the door starts unlocking and you find yourself immediately putting on the mask.

the guy that opens the door looks like he came straight out of a dream. he was large with broad shoulders and muscular arms almost as big as your thigh. his hair was blonde and kinda of long, stopping right by his ear, styled perfectly. his eyebrows dark and prominent.

he was wearing a black and red masquerade mask with emerald green accents. he opens the door wider and with a deep husky voice, he finally speaks up.

“so, what is it tonight ladies?” he asked while holding up a variety of different colored wristbands.

your best friend speaks up for the both of you, knowing you were still shocked. “both single, both bicurious.” she rushes out.

she then takes your hand in hers and walks through the door, standing in front of the man.

he lets out a genuine laugh. skies above, it was so sexy. he then closed the door, taking two pink wristbands and wrapping them around both your wrists.

his big hands were warm and scruff but clean, it was obvious he worked out. yet he was being gentle as if we were delicate flowers.

he looks up, accomplished. “right all set, follow me.” before we gave a reply he already turned his back towards us, heading deeper into the mansion.

the further in we went, we started hearing low r&b music, like some actual baby-making music. there were all types of girls and guys and people in general of different heights, wearing different clothes, and in different masks, each with a different colored wristband.

he stops in his tracks and you almost bump into his large back, smack dab with what seems like a tattoo peeking out from under his collar. he turns around, holding you steady.

his touch was warm and stern and very caring like a worried leader. he rubs your shoulder before dropping his hands and speaking up once more.

“alright, ladies. drinks are to your left, rooms are upstairs, enjoy yourself” and with that he walks off, heading to a group of guys, all seemingly just as attractive.

you finally turn towards your best friend who seems to be just beaming under her mask, taking in her surroundings.

“okay, now fess up. what is this place?” you ask in a hushed whisper. she looks up at you innocently.

“let’s just call it a bdsm castle, yeah?” she says all too casually.

“oh. you’re fucking joking.”

“nope” she pops the p and scans the room some more before looking back at you.

“and you’ve been here before?” you ask, wide-eyed.

“yes, well once with that one ex that was an investment banker.” she then takes your hand and starts walking with you, going further into what seemed like the lounge room.

you were nervous, super nervous. you wanted to bail and quite frankly you should’ve but behind your already jarred morales, your subconscious was screaming “why the fuck not” and to be honest, you were intrigued.

“what the hell am i supposed to do here?” you ask curiously

“what the hell else? mingle, fuck, have fun. seriously anything.” she starts. she then nods her head towards a group of people that are standing by a piano, drinks in hand while in deep conversation. “you see those people with the white wristbands? they’re observers.”

squinting your eyes in their direction you could see their white wristbands. you turned towards her, curiosity growing by the second. “observing for what?”

“means they’re not here to have sex. just here to watch people have sex. voyeurism or some shit, at least for today i guess.” she says quickly before moving on.

“pink means single and willing to get laid basically and red means in a relationship but willing to get laid.” she further explains.

you look at her perplexed. “so cheaters come here to get their dick wet?”

hae won laughs at your remark but shakes her index finger signifying no. “mainly means that they’re polyamorous and looking for a third or fourth or whatever it is they’re into.” she breaks down.

the essence of this place was starting to make sense. you nod, showing your comprehension and edging her to keep talking.

“oh, and you’re not allowed to say your name. you don’t need a code name or some shit but usually, these things are exclusive and private ie: CEOs, your local librarian. anyone could be here and unless you decide you want to sleep with them, which is the only time you can take off each other's mask, you can’t ask for their name.”

you look at her with a sly smile. “you know for someone who's only been here once you sure do know a lot.”

“oh, did i say once? I thought i said twice. i’m thirsty, are you thirsty? i’ll go get us a drink” before you could reply she was already making her way to the bar.

she orders the drinks but lingers, it seems like she is flirting with the bartender who has dyed hair. he was wearing a slightly orange and silver mask with pointed cat ears. he was tall and lengthy, his movements clumsy yet still confident as he made the drinks.

you rolled your eyes in adornment, looking around. your feet were hurting, they were low-heeled boots but still. you sit down on a lounge couch and roll your ankles slightly.

“you okay there?” a voice asks in a dialect you aren’t quite used to. it sounded more like an accent from elsewhere. their voice was smooth.

you look up and a slim and tall man has come up to you. he has multiple earrings and fiery red hair styled nicely. he had on a green mask with gold lining. he was holding a drink in his hand, which seemed like some type of wine and you noticed that his nails were clean and painted.

you smile before remembering your mask. standing up, you approach him and stretch out your hand to shake his. his hand meets yours, a white wristband around his small wrist.

“here to watch?” you ask. he leans in closer to you, your hand still in his. his voice was low and smooth, yet full of personality.

“that’s only if you allow me,” he says, tugging you slightly closer to him. his actions were bold, making your face heat up almost immediately but he radiated a type of calmness to him that you rarely saw in men nowadays.

just as he’s about to whisper something in your ear, someone else joins you too. slinging an arm around his shoulder and pulling him back away from you.

“aw not fair man, you know i called dibs.” said the new man.

dibs?

now he was a sight for sore eyes. even the bunny-shaped white mask couldn’t hide the fact that there was certainly a handsome face underneath.

his almost jet-black hair was long and had a sheen to it that made you know he took proper care of it. it hung over his face, well mask, with only one side tucked behind his ear. his eyes through the mask were mischievous and his tone playful. he was wearing a prada suit with its tie lazily undone, barely holding it together.

the guy in the green mask let out a small laugh. “i was only introducing myself” he said, keeping his eyes on you.

“yeah well introduce yourself elsewhere. besides, your twin asked me to call you over.” the mysterious man said, nodding his head towards the bar.

mr. green mask looked back and you followed his gaze. sure enough, you saw the guy with oreo hair waving him over. your best friend looking up at him lustfully.

he cleared his throat, biting the inside of his cheek at the sight. he slowly stirs his wine, taking the last sip while not breaking eye contact with them. he looks back at you swiftly, excusing himself before walking over to them.

you were now alone with the guy wearing the bunny mask. he approached you confidently, taking 3 long strides towards you but he didn’t stop there. he kept going until you fell back onto the couch. both of his hands were at your side, keeping you in place. the move felt eerily familiar to your boss.

nope. you weren’t going to do that. think about your boss on a weekend? you refused.

you finally spoke up to him directly, even leaning in slightly, not backing down from the confident man.

“someone seems interested.” you tease all whilst maintaining eye contact.

“oh trust me, very,” he replies back before you can even finish your sentence. he then takes a hand and brings it up to your face. you flinch, not scared of him but about your mask.

“relax darling, in due time,” he says. he leans in closer, your face now practically inches away from each other. he then raises a leg, putting his knee in between your legs. once positioned, he straightens himself up, now looking down at you.

with one hand now in his pockets once more, he uses the other to gently cup your face; his slender and cold fingers slightly squeezing your cheeks. you felt like a doll under his touch, your face gradually growing warmer.

“hm someone getting hot, huh? you interested?” he asks, not breaking eye contact. still cupping your face, one of his fingers, his thumb specifically, grazes over your now pouted lips underneath the mask.

you nod, almost too frozen to speak but he shakes his head, kissing his teeth.

“c’mon darling, we’re grown. use your words.” he insisted, cupping your face a bit tighter now. this makes you respond almost immediately.

“very interested.” you manage to get out.

he laughs at you. “atta girl” he says, as if he knew full and well the effect he had on you. a familiar heartbeat appeared in your cunt, you could already feel it getting warmer as you got more excited.

he lets go of your face and backs up from the couch. he straightens himself up and slightly cracks his neck, relieving the tension from looking down at you.

he then offers you the palm of his hand. you look at it for a second but he takes it as hesitation.

“don’t worry, i don’t bite; that is of course unless you want me to.” his voice sounded like a trance, you could tell he was the type to be able to convince someone to walk off a cliff if he truly wanted to.

you take his hand and he jolts you up, pulling you into him. he catches you effortlessly, wrapping an arm around your waist lazily. he gets closer to you, his cologne smells good, probably expensive.

he whispers in your ear as if no one else in the room full of other people who had the same plan, needed to hear your intimate conversation.

“let’s go find ourselves a room.”

11:16 pm kst

the masked man walks you to a secluded area of the house. stopping right before a door that seemed to have a keypad instead of a keyhole.

he looks back at you once more, raising an eyebrow . “not backing down?” he asks, tone hopeful that you say no.

honestly, this wasn’t your style. sure you’ve had a one night stand before but this whole bdsm castle thing? you felt like a virgin all over again.

yet there you were, anticipating for this masked man to fuck you funny. your cunt already slick with wetness, his actions from earlier had a strong effect on you and you wondered just if this man could truly satisfy you.

you nod, stepping closer to him and the door. “not backing down.” you say firmly, keeping direct eye contact.

with that, he punches in some numbers and the door clicks open. he leads you in and you have to mentally stop yourself from your jaw-dropping. the room was huge, all the furniture black and the bed could easily fit at least six people on there.

you stepped closer, taking it all in. at the head and feet of the bed, there were stainless steel handcuffs. at the foot of the bed, there was a thick rope lying on top of the bedroom bench.

you touched it gently, tracing a finger along it’s rigid and dry nylon. was he planning on using this on you? and almost as though he read your mind, he kept up behind you, leaving no space for imagination.

his hard cock twitching against your ass, his chest against your back. he brought down his still-masked face into the crook of your neck, pulling you into a back hug, arms wrapped around your waist.

“you wanna use that tonight darling?”

his voice rose the tiny hairs on your arm, your cunt now pulsating in an almost painful and steady beat, asking, no, begging to be used.

“i’ll do whatever it is you want me to,” you replied, voice shaky, heavy breathing.

with that, he faces you towards him. your back to the bed before he pushes you onto it softly with one finger.

he crawls on top of you. both thighs at your side, knees dug into the plush and satin bedding. “now i warn you, i have a slim frame but i am a bit sadistic. scratch that, extremely sadistic. is there anything you’re uncomfortable with?”

you thought about it for a moment. aside from your ex and that one, one-night stand, you haven’t been sexually involved with anyone else. you weren’t too sure about the entire bdsm world. you’re old enough to get the gist but you weren’t sure how far you could go, how much your body could take.

“hm, i don’t mind spit but i’m not sure about it in my mouth. i’m not a fan of the butt stuff and i think that’s it? we can try anything tonight, i’m willing.” you consent. he laughs at your eagerness, finding it cute. finding you adorable.

he then brings a hand up to your hair, stroking it gently. “once i take off these masks, if, by some off chance, you ever see me outside of these mansion walls, know that i don’t know you and you don’t know me. strictly pleasure okay?”

his words weren’t harsh but it still made you flinch. it’s fine, he was simply being direct. you’re both consenting adults for a fun night, no need to turn this into something more and complicate things. besides, seoul was huge. no way you’d see each other outside of here. slim to none chance.

“yeah i’m cool with that, strictly pleasure,” you repeat back, anxious as ever.

“you wanna have the honor or may i?” he asks, finger slung into the string of your mask, slowly teasing it off.

you give it a split second thought before reaching for his. “let’s do it at the same time.”

he laughs, amused at your suggestion. “ i don’t see why not.” he holds your mask as you hold his and you both take them off.

the mask comes off and it seems like someone just knocked the wind out of you. no fucking way.

absolutely no fucking way.

“what the hell.”

it was non other than your boss. yoon jeonghan.

you must have upset the universe somehow, your shakras aren’t aligned, SOMETHING, because there is no fucking way your boss you had to meet at work on monday was getting you dripping wet on a sunday.

he smirks, dropping your mask and letting out an amused laugh.

“now this, this is interesting.” but he doesn’t back up, instead he keeps on getting closer and backing you up onto what seems like a dozen pillows.

“i should’ve known something was off by that voice” you murmur, no longer maintaining eye contact yet still trapped beneath him.

“awh c’mon, i’m not that bad,” he says in a low and husky voice. he licks his lips slowly, almost in a circular motion while eyeing yours. he then brings a hand up to your neck, pulling you closer to his face before he lets go, hands at your sides again.

he drops his head onto your shoulder, into the crook of your neck before letting out another laugh.

“ahh, what should i do? i really want to fuck you right now.” he says this casually, as if it’s a random daily thought.

it makes you instinctively clench your throbbing pussy. his words weighing more now that you were out of the confines of your job.

jeonghan then backs away from you and sits at the end of the bed, he opens up a drawer at the table side and pulls out a case of joints. he brings one up to his lips before looking over at you.

“want one?” he offers, the joint going up and down as he speaks.

you hesitate, observing his face. were you really about to fuck your boss. should you? i mean this was the same guy who usually gave you hell on earth while at work.

he puts down the spare joint as if coming to a realization. “ah, i probably shouldn’t be offering my employee weed huh?” He’s about to put it back and away into case when you suddenly stop him. your hand grabbing his wrist.

“yeah, i want one.” if he was going to be casual about this, why couldn’t you?

“hm. okay. grab a lighter from the left nightstand. It’s in the top dresser.”

you nod and open the drawer, sure enough, there are a few lighters. you grab a random one and hold it up to him but you realize he had put away the case of joints and was staring at you curiously.

“where’s mine?” you ask, still holding up the lighter.

he shakes his head, a sly smirk on his face. he then comes closer to you once more, joint still in his mouth. he points it out so you can light it.

you flick it once, it buffers. the second time, a dim flame comes out of the lighter. as you’re sparking the joint, he’s not breaking eye contact. finally he drags in a puff, holding it for a second.

“so, what’ll it be? are you gonna give me the honor of fucking you tonight?” he asked while inhaling smoke, eyes glued on you.

you knew it was wrong. it’d be awkward at work and you hardly even like him. but you were already in too far and honestly it had been so long since you slept with someone. to say you were touch starved would be underwhelming.

“yes.” is all you simply respond, now staring back at him with the same intensity.

he studies you for a few more seconds before holding out his pinkie, “no strings?”

you look at it and intertwine your own with his, then connect your thumbs. “no strings.” you repeat.

with that, he pulls you in roughly, exhaling smoke into your mouth. your eyes get watery but you successfully hold back a cough. he turns the shotgun into a kiss, wrapping his cold hand around your throat and brushing his tongue against your bottom lip, asking for access.

as soon as your part your lips open, he glides his tongue against your own, taking it roughly yet passionately. soft groans leaving his mouth. He laid you down on the bed, not breaking the kiss and the harsh movements caused you to moan into his mouth.

his other hand finds itself at your waist, holding you firmly beneath him. fingers digging into your skin as if there was still too much space between you too. it didn’t seem possible but the kiss deepened as he fully put himself on you, his body pressing hard against yours. his hardening crotch rutting against your core, eager for some kind of friction, eager to make you feel good.

you bring down a hand, starting to palm him through his once smooth slacks and almost immediately he moans into your mouth, shuddering at your touch.

he pauses, pulling back from the kiss with haggard breathing, you chase after his mouth. already missing it’s warmth on yours.

he giggles, almost too cutely for such a vile scene. “aww, you like my mouth that much princess? i can do much more with it.

“let me serve you,” he says this almost desperately, hands roaming your body.

your back arches at his touch, your cunt leaking wetness unto the satin sheets underneath you. “please, i need your touch.” you say between anguished moans.

he cocks his head to the side. “such a needy girl huh?” he was enjoying the view of you pathetically rutting yourself against the satin sheets. your fist gripping onto them.

he gets up and takes off his tie, he then takes one more puff of his joint before tossing it back on the nightstand. you were still on the bed, your core wet and aching badly. you needed him to do something to you soon or you would practically go crazy.

he smirks, pleased with simply seeing you shift uncomfortably. you can tell he wanted you just as much. his hardening cock making a very apparent dent in his pants.

“strip,” he demands. his voice broke you out of the strange of looking at his crotch, you didn’t even realize you were still fully clothed.

you complied almost pathetically too fast. taking off your mini skirt and your sheer shirt. immediately, the cold air hit you. your nipples getting instantly hard at the feeling.

his eyes dropped to your body, a lustful gaze with something so much more. as if he would spend the rest of his life admiring your body if he could. “fuck, you’re beautiful.”

he watched almost in awe, gently patting your hair before roughly pulling you closer to his face. he started kissing you once more, tongue eagerly greeting yours as if he couldn’t go another second without your mouth.

it was a sloppy kiss, just needing to feel each other. mouths desperate and far too eager to worry about presentation. he pulls back again, a string of mixed saliva breaking off between you too.

you moan dissatisfied as he pulls away, looking up at him with confused doe eyes.

“lie down.” he ordered, the lustful glimmer returning to his eyes.

“yes boss.” is all you can pull together, it was small and measly but he heard it.

fuck. you were so used to saying it out of habit at work you didn’t even realize it slipped out until he had gone silent.

too scared to look at him, you kept your head down. ashamed you could’ve fucked up that bad. instead, you feel his cold hands lifting up your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“i like that.” is all he says before he nods to the bed, signaling you to continue lying down.

you obeyed him and he found himself at your sides again. taking his hand towards your warm and soft body. he dragged a delicate and icy finger along all your curves, minuscule and large. just needing to feel the touch of your skin beneath him.

he drags it back up, reaching your plump breast and he starts playing with the bud of your nipples, making you wince at the feeling, back arching at his touch.

“fuck that feels so—ngh shit.” you tried to string some words together but all you could do is whimper pathetically.

his dick was practically begging to get out of his boxers, hell, even just his pants. at every pretty moan, you let out, it twitched, your lewd noises already having control over it before you had even touched it.

“mhm what did i say about using our words princess? since you’re so bad at following instructions, i’ll have to punish you like the perfect slut you are for me, eh?”

you look up at him weakly, eyes beaming with anger. he already had you pathetically curling over at his simplest touches, how did he plan on punishing you even more?

“wrist or ankles?” he asked while pointing at the cuffs at the top and bottom of the bed. before even thinking it through you said wrist.

he then briefly got up to tie your left wrist to the left bed pole and your right wrist to the right one. the handcuffs were cold and firm, the type that you could only imagine cops used but it felt like a slightly different material. it felt safe.

he then took the keys and gently grazed them over your nipple bud, earning another breathless moan from you.

he shuddered at the sound of you. one part of him wanted to release a full load right into you but the other wanted to make this last as long as he could.

after all, how often was he going to have his back-talking employee with such lush lips, underneath him? mouth slack, pathetically begging to be touched by the boss you claimed to hate.

“p-please boss, ah fuck- c’mon, just ngnnh fuck me already” you yelp desperately, head was thrown back, no longer able to take the teasing while your cunt wanted to be rammed into harshly.

you could tell he liked seeing you like this. squirming in pain did nothing but make him smile.

“in due time my pretty, pretty princess.” he placed the cold small key on your stomach and then kneeled at the foot of the bed. he trailed both his hands up and down your thighs, your core throbbing harder by the second.

“how bad do you want my mouth?” he teased, kissing your thighs and going higher and higher until he reached your dripping core, it’s heat practically begging for him.

“so-ngn, so bad so so fucking bad please— fuck i can't take it anymore.” that set him off, blowing cool air onto your clit before pulling you towards him.

the action caused a tug on your handcuffs and wrist, causing you to cry out in pain but it quickly turned into pure bliss because not even half a second later the flat of his tongue was on your heated core.

it was like he was on death row and you were his final meal.

his soft and pink tongue delving deeper and deeper into you. even kissing your folds every once in a while. he then took a hand off your thigh and spat on two of his fingers before roughly inserting them into you, curling them slightly so they hit the g spot that made you a moaning mess all while giving you kitten licks on your clit.

the feeling of both his fingers sliding in and out of you at a rapid pace tied with his excruciatingly slow licks, even sucking on your clit harshly every time you moaned out an excruciating “boss.”

your stomach tied in knots, your heat clenching around his fingers that were now wet and covered with your fluid. it felt so good how he was ramming his fingers into you, the palm of his hand slapping onto your core and hitting your clit at a rapid speed.

you swore you could see actual stars.

he moaned into you pussy, barely able to contain himself. “fuck baby you’re making such a mess.”

his praise makes you jolt your hip forward, being met with his eager tongue, “mnnhmgmm it’s all because of you boss, hmhm i need you so fucking bad-d.” you dragged out.

jeonghan couldn’t help himself. using his other hand, he started palming himself through his slacks, desperate for some kind of relief, some kind of touch.

“mhm fuck just like that, keep talking to me baby.” he egged your own, getting drunk at the sound of your messy moans and the squelching sound your cunt made every time his fingers went into you.

you kept praising him, saying anything that came to mind so he wouldn’t stop. your words almost coming out as gibberish because his fingers alone were clouding your thoughts.

“ah-shit, boss just like that, please keep going,” you begged and he abided. he took out his finger and went to work with his mouth again, his tongue harsh and fast, licking your folds and going as deep inside you as he could.

you were so close to an orgasm. your vision getting blurry by all the tears brimming your eyes. he felt the tightness of your cunt around his tongue and fingers.

“tell me when you’re about to come okay baby?” he asked in a haggard voice, pre cum oozing for his tip already.

“ah mgh— y-yes boss im so close” you breathed out.

while he was eating you out, he took the hand he was fingering you with earlier and started rubbing your clit slowly; giving it small slaps that made you squirm around the bed, unable to move much because of the cuffs.

your stomach hit a specific knot and you knew for sure you were about to come undone within the next few seconds.

“i’m—fuck, about to come,” you whine out pathetically, your eyes closed, chasing the high towards the climax.

right as you reach your peak, he pulled away from you.

your eyes immediately snapped open, wide and frustrated that the knot in your stomach was left unsatisfied.

you looked at him, heavy breathing, hair stuck to your face due to sweat. he simply smiled and licked your wetness from his lips and fingers, not wasting a drop.

“why?” was all you managed to whine, practically on the verge of tears at the loss of contact.

he shrugged, a satisfied smirk on his face “the only time you get to come is when i’m fucking you raw princess, simple.”

your eyebrows knit up in confusion.

“so fuck me.”

his eyes went from playful to lustful in an instant at your words. in a swift motion, he undoes his belt and drops it onto the floor. with one hand, he unzips his pants, they hang loose a few inches, showing off his prada briefs. his curved length pulsating underneath.

he then gets back onto the bed, discarding his shirt and revealing a slim but toned body. his arms slightly flexed as he threw the shirt onto a nearby couch.

jeonghan then positions himself on his knees, hair falling unto his face. he looks back up at you, eyebrows knitted with a now unfamiliar expression. he seemed needier as opposed to the hungry mess earlier. “touch me.” is all he says in a low voice.

you crawl towards him yet you feel like a prey being stalked by a predator. you take a nail, trailing it up his thigh, earning a slight grunt from him. your finger stops right above his length, twitching in eagerness. its pink hue apparent from underneath the white briefs.

monday 12:58 am kst

you both fall back onto the bed, worn out and still coming down from the high after exhausting each other to your limits.

he looks at you as if to say something but stops himself. you wanted him to say something. make one of his borderline rude yet sly remarks but he is silent. the sound of both your heavy breathing starting to calm down in the still bedroom.

“uh, is there a bathroom in here?” you ask, refusing to make eye contact with the main that had just fucked your senseless.

he brings up a limp arm, hand pointing to a door by the right nightstand. you get up cautiously, wrapping one of the sheets around your body. you make your way to the door and go through. the bathroom was big and spotless as if it had been cleaned just recently.

outside you hear some faint movement. a dip in the bed followed by careful footsteps. you had a clue you knew what was happening but a part of you wished it wasn’t so.

you use the toilet, never losing your habit of peeing after having sex and then you get into the shower. needing to get the remnants of tonight off your body.

monday 1:47 am kst

you get out of the shower, feeling refreshed and squeaky clean. you use one of the clean guest towels to dry your body and wrap it around yourself.

you reach the bathroom handle, hand hesitant on the nob. unsure if you were ready to face the scene or potentially a person outside. in a swift motion, you open the door and exit the bathroom.

you look to your side unto the bed just to find it neatly made but with no one in it. no scattered clothes lying around, instead it seemed he took his and even folded yours, putting it in a bag on the nightstand with clean oversized clothes next to it.

you were relieved to not have to face your boss after fucking each other for what seemed like two hours but there was a pang in your heart at the fact that yoon jeonghan didn’t even bother at least mention he was leaving.

you dressed yourself in the new clothes and put on your mask once more. as you were finishing up, there was a knock at the door.

“boss?” you called out. no way, he had the code right? you walk towards the door, your belongings in hand and open it. sure enough, your best friend standing at the door.

“oh, it’s you,” you say casually, giving a faint smile.

“damn bitch can you be less excited pretty please? you’re overwhelming me.” she teased sarcastically. she was wearing a change of clothes too but she still had on her mask.

“you’re done right? your bunny boy told me you would be up here.”

you let out a dry laugh. so he could tell her but he couldn’t say anything as he was leaving? you know what, fuck that. you can be super casual too.

“yup!” you say popping the p, you exit the room and close the door behind you. your best friend takes your free hand and you both walk down the steps together.

you quietly dip out of the mansion through the front door, making your way to her car.

“can you drive? i had drunk earlier and i still feel kinda dizzy” she pouts.

“yeah, toss 'em,” you say about the keys and she does. you unlock the car and head in, making your way home as your best friend sleeps in the passenger seat, adamant about sleeping over at your house.

monday 4:50 pm kst

on her way home from work, your best friend picked you up and dropped you off at yours. you stopped in front of the bar. it’s large and luminescent name shining above, “purple rose.”

you felt queasy, nervous, nauseous, and anxious all at once. yet you also felt excited, a newfound secret to keep as yours. you entered through the front and made your way to the back, the employee room to clock in.

your fellow bartenders were gathered at the front. some sleeping on the table, others talking behind the bar.

“good morning guys!” you say in a more chirpy voice than usual.

no way you had become one of those people who finally get laid and suddenly you’re ms sunshine walking on a rainbow.

they noticed the slightly higher octave, raising an eyebrow but nevertheless, they said their fair share of greetings.

you start heading to the break room when one of the workers stops you. a slightly concerned look on her face.

“i wouldn’t go in there if i were you, boss is in a bad mood,” she whispered the last part, clicking her tongue.

what the hell could’ve happened in the last 12 hours since you had sex that had the whole bar walking on eggshells?

you smile at her warning but disregard it. not to see him, you say to yourself, but because you needed to clock in any way.

you open the door and are immediately met with a pacing jeonghan. he looked disheveled, handsome, but still disheveled. as if he didn’t get a wink of sleep.

he sees you by the door and motions you in.

“what took you so long?”

what was he talking about? you looked at the clock and you were exactly on time.

“i’m here on time, what do you mean?” you asked while setting down your stuff.

the atmosphere was tense as if you had truly done something wrong. jeonghan pauses in his tracks and starts walking towards you. he was unreadable, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling at all.

“being on time is being late,” he answers, eyebrows furrowed, breathing haggard. he was a couple of inches away from you, far more than what was appropriate at work. his eyes fell to your lips before begrudgingly looking back up.

“so, what do you have to say for yourself?” he ask, almost in pain.

you were truly lost. was he seriously mad because of the time? he pulls you out of your thoughts, hand slamming on the desk behind you.

“i asked what you have to say for yourself.”

now you were seriously annoyed, what the hell was his problem? you answer, tone curt and firm. no longer wanting to indulge in this conversation or his presence.

“my apologies boss, it won’t happen again.” you spat out, tone laced with venom. you said it formally, not missing any honorifics and he caught this. gaze going cold before breaking out a smile.

he hung his head low, muttering a curse before looking back up at you. the night you spent together, the line that was crossed, almost as though it never even happened.

a mere figment of your imagination. ha, if only.

“it won’t happen again? we’ll see about that. come back out immediately after clocking in, you have front duty again today.”

and with that, yoon jeonghan, no, your boss left the break room.

leaving you in a complete state of confusion.

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[rorywritesjunk]

There's no race, no ending in sight

(because I fixate on things. pg-13 rating. title comes from "two of us on the run" by lucius)

pt 1 + pt 2 + p3 + p4 + pt 5 + p6 + pt 7 +Pt 8 + Pt 9 + Pt 10 + Pt 11 + Pt 12 + Pt 13 + Pt 14 + Pt 15 + pt 16 + Pt 17 (End)

Pt 1

"If your way doesn't work then we sell the clown."

Sunny could only shrug as she looked up at her husband towering over her, cigar between his teeth, the smoke lingering in the air with each puff. She hated the smoking and he knew that, but she always found ways to get the smell out of their clothes.

"I don't really care either way." Was her response as she reached up to adjust his cravat. There was never anything wrong with it when she did this, it just became a nervous habit after being married to him for so long. "I don't even know who he is. He may kill me if I speak to him."

Crocodile chuckled softly, removing the cigar from his mouth long enough to give her a smoky kiss which has her flinching. She hated that he did that. She could taste it. Once she tried one of his cigars early into the marriage but made the mistake of inhaling it. She was sick all night but he at least held her hair back and brought her water.

It was... A marriage. For Sunny it wasn't happy or horrible, just neutral. They met when she was a young apprentice, not even twenty yet, and he wanted a wife. A promise to let her see the world, a gentle threat to her livelihood should she deny him. She was young and scared but she went along with him, not wanting anyone to get hurt.

While he never raised a hand or his voice to her, Sunny had been terrified of him until he went to prison. She knew what he was capable of, saw it plenty of times in how he treated others.

"He knows to expect you." Crocodile continued as he raised his hook up to her face, stroking it against her cheek. The cold metal caused her to shudder and she closed her eyes for a moment. There was always a moment of concern when he did that, what if it slipped and cut her? "Why aren't you wearing the clothes I bought you? He'd be sure to listen to you then."

"They're too tight." Sunny told him as she opened her eyes. Her choice of clothes were overalls and a T-shirt with a cute bunny on it. Comfortable and practical. "And Mihawk talked about starting up a garden and I asked if I could help. I couldn't wear a form fitting dress to dig a hole."

"My wife shouldn't be getting her hands dirty like that." He sighed as he took hold of her hand in his, raising it up to press a kiss to the back of it. "There are others who could do that work."

"That may be, but I like to do it." She replied firmly. "Besides, you don't want to deny your wife her happiness, do you?"

It wasn't often she said those words, your wife, because after losing him to prison she felt free, no matter how short of a time it has been. She managed to convince the ones who arrested him that she had been innocent, unaware of what he had been up to this entire time. There were so many tears, claims that she was just the wife, she spent her days doing very little and was completely unaware of what he had been up to and what his plans were!

It worked. She got away, seeking refuge on a ship to be dropped off elsewhere. She had a little money to get by, starting up her own shop for special clothing orders and alters. It worked out for her until Crocodile hunted her down.

"I would never." He assured her, pressing another kiss to her hand. "Take your time with that clown. If he doesn't agree then let me so so I can take care of him."

"Agreed." Sunny replied as she stepped back. "Don't do anything to him until I say, however. If he's as pathetic as you say it may take me a while."

"I trust you to get the job done."

"I know you do." She managed a smile. "I'll come back when I'm done."

He knew she would come back. Where else on the island would she go? He pulled her back over to him, cupping her face with his hand before giving her a kiss. She managed not to pull away or make a face, returning the gesture even before pulling back.

"I'll be back."

~

An actual circus tent greeted her. It... It was nice to see. Sunny remembered going to a circus as a child with her parents. They saved up to take her and it was magical. The animals, the performers, everything! She remembered feeling the heat from the fire breathing and how loud the lion roared.

It didn't disappoint when she went in. There was a lion, fat and scruffy as he helped himself to some food. There were some performers, cleaning the area up. Middle of the day there wasn't much to expect but Sunny still thought it was neat to see.

"Hey! We aren't open!" Someone shouted from the arena. Blue hair, red nose, wearing turquoise pants and a striped shirt. That had to be the clown that owed her husband money.

"You're open for me." She shot back as she made her way over to him. His jaw dropped. Who would speak to him in such a way?

"Listen, baby, I don't know who you are but you can't walk into the tent like this."

"Baby?" Sunny repeated, amused by this. "I don't know, my husband lets me do what I want."

"Yea? Who's your husband?" He asked, making a face as he looked her over. "Listen, baby, sweetheart, whoever you are, I don't have time to entertain some looky-loo. I'm waiting for someone, okay?"

"Oh, and who are you waiting for?" She asked curiously. "Someone important, I imagine?"

Buggy looked her over with a sneer. "Not that it concerns you, but I'm meeting some wife of Sir Crocodile. You're distracting me so go away."

"Oh, you're the one I'm supposed to talk to?" Sunny feigned innocence. "I didn't think you'd be so mean to me..."

"The one..."

Buggy's eyes bugged out, his body split into pieces before coming back together. He actually stood there, trading barbs with Crocodile's wife. He didn't know it was her! She looked nothing like he expected! He expected someone covered in jewels, shimmering outfits, expensive shoes! Not someone in pigtails wearing overalls. She looked like a farmer, not the wife of one of the most dangerous criminals in the world.

He... He was going to die.

[purifycantyouhelpme]

Before He Cheats | Chapter 7 | Duff Mckagan x Reader

Word count: 1395

A03 Link<3

Warning: Warning: Sex scene… again, sorry and I hate adding that stupid duck park scene–

12:00 AM

It was very late at night. (Y/N) was still lying on the living room couch, watching something on TV. She hasn’t gotten up from the couch except to go to the bathroom and get a water bottle. (Y/N) was struggling to sleep, her argument with Slash still haunting her thoughts and keeping her awake at night. Since she couldn’t sleep, she decided to go through her messages on her phone and text Duff. She texted: Duff, I had a great time with you today. I want to spend more time with you. I miss you having you around and I love you.

Immediately after (Y/N) sent that text, he put her phone on the coffee table.

“He probably won’t respond.” (Y/N) thought to herself. Her phone went off as she continued to watch TV for a couple of minutes. She was wrong, Duff did respond to her text saying, “I love you too, darling <3.” (Y/N) had a smile on her face, tears running down her face. She couldn’t express how happy she was that Duff liked her back. She was struggling and Duff was there for her the entire time, even when they stopped talking for a long time.

10:00 AM

For 2 weeks straight, Claire was wondering why she was throwing up and suddenly acting emotional. She thought it was her period but he hadn’t got her period this month. What else could it be?

Claire was trying to make an egg salad in the kitchen. She kept messing up the salad and making a mess. She ended up throwing the ranch bottle on the floor. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Every little thing is making her more and more mad. Claire opened the door, Slash was at the door.

“Are you okay?” Slash asked, his voice filled with concern. Claire didn’t answer him back and turned her head to the side. “You have been acting weird–”

“I have not been acting weird, you dick!” Claire yelled at him as Slash wiped his mouth off. He could have felt her spit on him from the yelling. “C-Can I come inside, dear?” Slash asked.

“Whatever.” Claire walked back into her house.

Slash sat on the couch, watching a horror movie, while waiting for Claire to come back from whatever she was doing back there. “Come on, Claire.” He muttered to himself, clearly impatient. Finally, Claire emerged from her room

She sat next to Slash with a disappointed look on her face. She kept picking at her clothes, it's clear that she was nervous to say whatever she was going to say. “I’m pregnant,” Claire said nonchalantly. Slash’s eyes widened in shock when Claire announced her pregnancy to him He was in disbelief. “Fuck.” Slash facepalmed meanwhile, Claire was so devastated about this news. “W-We shouldn’t had sex in that c-car…” Claire’s voice filled with regret as she started to cry. Slash immediately held her close to his chest. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.” Slash kissed her on the forehead.

2:00 PM, At (Y/N)’s job

(Y/N) was behind the cashier. (Y/N) was getting tired of dealing with a lot of annoying customers, wishing they could just read the signs sometimes.

Izzy steps inside the store with a non-expressive look on his face. He’s wearing a black jacket and jeans. His eyes landed on (Y/N), taking in her awful state of being. (Y/N) looked back at him with a forced smile and said, “Hey, Izzy.” Izzy heard her and walked up to her.

“It’s annoying to deal with Axl sometimes.” Izzy groaned. Izzy looked around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation.

“Anyways, how are you doing?” Izzy asked her as he leaned toward her. (Y/N) stepped back from Izzy, feeling a little awkward.

“I found out that Slash… is cheating on me with Claire.” (Y/N) said, looking away from Izzy, trying to not cry. Izzy let out an angry sigh at the word, Slash.

Izzy put his hand on her shoulder, comforting her. “You deserve better,” Izzy said, rubbing her shoulder.

(Y/N) turned around to face Izzy. Tears were running down her face. “Well… me and Duff finally hang out with each other and… I told him I love him.” (Y/N) sniffled.

“What should I do, Izzy?” (Y/N) asked as she wiped her tears from her face.

“J-Just follow your heart.” Izzy smiled.

It's been an hour later. (Y/N) was still doing her job while thinking about what to do.

As she gave a customer a bag, she looked at a couple who are shopping in the store. The couple looked so happy to be with each other and helping each other out in the store.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile at their wholesomeness, thinking that could be Duff and her. Now she knows what she’s going to do. She’s leaving Slash and dating Duff. Why would she stay with a guy who cheats on her and lies to her constantly?

The next day, at the duck park

Slash is feeding the ducks bread when Claire keeps telling him not to. But Claire decided to leave it alone by crossing her arms in anger. “I’m gonna get a snack from the car, Slash,” Claire said as she started to walk back to the car. “Okay,” Slash responded.

Claire leaned against Slash’s car. She took off her shoe to get the pebble out of her shoe by shaking it.

She glanced up to find Axl gazing at her with a seductive look. Now she’s even angrier.

“Hey, darling.” Axl winked at her, smiling. There was so much anger inside Claire but her being

“Stop trying to flirt with me,” Claire said as she put her shoe back on and put her hands back on her stomach. Claire looked at Axl and rolled her eyes at him, saying, “Slash satisfies me in bed already. I don’t need–” Claire stopped talking when she realized that she fucked up. She was pretty done for. “H-Hey! You didn’t hear anything!” Claire yelled at him. “I’m not deaf, darling. I heard everything.” Axl said to her in a teasing tone.

“See you later.” Axl walked away from Claire. “All of this anger is not good for the… child,” Claire muttered. Unfortunately for her, Axl did hear what she said.

2:00 PM, At Duff’s house

Duff was sitting on the living room couch, his legs spread apart.

(Y/N) was kneeling between Duff’s legs, sucking his cock, her tongue swirling around the head taking him deeper and deeper into her mouth. She looks up at him occasionally, her face with desire and anticipation.

Duff

(Y/N) pull her mouth off his cock and she chuckled. She started to stroke Duff’s cock. “I miss… this. You know?” She said as she stroked his cock a little.

Suddenly, she stops stroking Duff’s cock and goes down the floor. She slowly spread her legs while looking at him with a smile. She had a twinkle in her eyes and excitement in her breathing.

“Put it in.” She told him in a soft seductive tone.

Duff positioned myself between (Y/N) legs as she wrapped her legs around him. His cock was throbbing with need, begging to take her.

He hesitated, staring at her a bit before slowly pushing inside her. “This feels so nice…” She moaned. With a grunt, Duff began thrusting into her slow and deep.

“I-It does…” Duff said as he hold her legs in place. “You’re so tight.” Duff groaned.

(Y/N) kept moaning with every thrust, bringing closer and closer her to the edge.

The room were filled with Duff’s grunts and (Y/N)’s moans. Duff’s thrusts were getting faster and rougher, indicating he was close to climax

He was leaning to closer to her and (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Duff, pulling him closer.

“I-I’m cumming.” With one last thrust, Duff cums inside her. (Y/N)’s eyes widened as she felt Duff’s thick cum filling her up. It was hot and sticky, seeping deep inside of her. After he finished, Duff layed on top of her, heavily breathing. “I-I love you…” Duff whispered in her ear. “Y-You… too.” (Y/N) panted, her words coming out between breaths.

[chatterbox-73]

Twelve days of Smutcember 2022.

Day 12 - Like it was.

Izuku Midoriya (Katsuki Bakugo) x fem!Reader

This story is a smut story for Smutcember, I’ll be writing more characters x reader one shots for Smutcember and if you want to see a character please let me know...

finally I think it’s important to note, I might be a person who celebrates Christmas, however I know not everyone does so I won’t/try not to mention or reference any particular festive holiday in these one shots, out of respect for everyone.

You must be 18 years or older to read this...

🔞⚠️NO MINORS ALLOWED⚠️🔞

A/N: Parts one: When he’s away (Katsuki Bakugo)

Also I have started working on a part three☺️

Kitten’s name is Fuku, 福 in Japanese kanji which means ‘good fortune’ or ‘good luck’.

Do not mistaken with ふく which means ‘clothes’.

Summary: your husband has changed since finding out about you and his friend, nothing is like it was… but maybe that’s for the best.

Word count: 2.3k

CW: slight role play, rough sex, open relationship (slight cheating), mention of oral, size difference, slight bondage, swearing.

You sat on the couch holding the small kitten you and Katsuki had rescued two weeks ago, you had decided to name the kitten Fuku, “he’ll be home soon, it’s been nice having him around more…” you spoke to the cat as he purred and snuggled into you, “…his first reaction to me sleeping with Katsuki-Kun was scary, but he’s been so thoughtful and loving…” you sighed and as looked up at the ceiling, “…would it be so bad to start a family with him, I mean, I love my job and I don’t really wanna give that up yet…” Fuku licked your fingers as you tickled his chin, “…and I now he’s not seeing her anymore, but despite that we still haven’t been intimate at all, and well… me and Katsuki-kun have seen each other, every other day…” you hummed thinking back to only a few hours ago were Katsuki had you bent over his work desk as he ate you like you were the last meal on earth, “…you know me and Katsuki-kun have fun, but that’s all it is… I care about him but I also really care about Izuku…” you sighed and sat up, looking down at Fuku, “I really do care for Izuku, he’s all I’ve ever known, all I really have, and despite that one incident I think I might want to start being with him again” you explained and Fuku meowed, you smiled before placing him down, he then ran off. Your eyes followed were he ran to find you husband standing in the hallway with a bright blush taking over his face, “I didn’t mean to listen… I’m sorry, I-“ he cut himself off from a long winded rant, he placed the groceries bags on the kitchen counter and began to unpack them, you walked over to help, “it’s fine, I don’t mind” you explained as you place the vegetables from the bag you were emptying into the fridge, “I think we should be more open with each” you smiled and watched as your husband placed the last of the groceries in the cupboard, he turned to look at you and nodded, “I think your right…” he stepped closer to you and reached out a hand, “…I miss being close to you, and I hate the idea of you seeing Kacchan but if he makes you happy I’ll over look it…” he said softly as his large hands incased your smaller ones, you opened your mouth to speak but was cut off, “…but I do wish you’d let me be the only man in your heart, even if I’m not the only man in your body” Izuku leaned down to your eye level and smiled, you blushed uncontrollably, you both knew this was an unreasonable request as you didn’t think you ever could love someone, but it was sweet and made your stomach flutter, “Izuku, you know I-“ you were cut off once again as your husband placed a finger over your lips, “I know, but call it wishful thinking… I’m a master at waiting until the impossible becomes possible” he chuckled and kissed your hands before turning to leave the kitchen, you grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it slightly, “did you want me to make you dinner?” You asked Izuku turned back to look down at you and he shook his head, “there’s no need, I stopped off for some takeout on my way home… but if you’re hungry I can make you something” he smiled and you shook your head, “no it’s okay, me and Fuku ate before you got home… we were going to wait but you know how he gets with food” you chuckle slightly and say goodnight, before grabbing the collar of your husband’s shirt and pulling him down as you lean up on your tip toes to kiss his cheek.

You lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, you really did hate your bed, especially when Izuku wasn’t in it, as his large body would usually take up most, if not all of the space, even when the both of you were trying to sleep on opposite sides of the bed his body would still manage to touch and graze yours, but ever since that day he found out about you and Katsuki he hasn’t slept in the bed with you. You rolled onto your side and looked at the spot your husband would usually be sleeping, you sat up and sighed before throwing the blanket off you, getting out of the bed and walking down the hallway towards the living room to find the mountain of a man you married fast asleep on the couch, you walked over to him and pulled back the blanket covering him, Izuku was in nothing but some baggy All Might boxers, you chuckled and climbed on top on him settling on his chest. You closed your eyes and hummed in delight as your felt Izuku huge arms wrap around you, “why aren’t you in bed?” He asked in a scratchy tired voice as his eyes remained closed, you looked up at him “it’s really lonely in that bed” you whispered and he hummed, the vibration rumbling through your entire body and leaving a tingling between your legs, “if you don’t want me here say so…” you huffed and your husband’s eyes finally opened, before focusing on you, “I want you here… but you know how I get with I wake up” he whispered as he squeezed you a little tighter in his arms “I won’t be able to stop myself, you’re just so irresistible” he breathed in your scent and hummed deeply as his huffed out, “I wouldn’t mind it… I wouldn’t mind you” you leaning in close to his face and kissed the tip of his nose, before closing your eyes and beginning to drift off to sleep with Izuku following suit.

You felt huffing on your neck and your hips being held tightly, pecking your eyes open you notice it was now morning, you where no longer in the living room but now in the bedroom and your husband was leaning over top of you, “good morning…” he whispered into your skin and you shivered, his voice was still deep and scratchy like last night, Izuku leaned up and looked you in the eye, “good morning… looks like we slept in” you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, “it certainly is a ‘good morning’, especially waking up next to a beautiful woman like yourself” he chuckled and you blushed, your pulled Izuku down closer to you and rested your legs on his hips. “Shall we fuck?” Izuku questioned before pressing his face into your chest, you ground you hips against him “yes, let’s do it” you giggled and tugged the hair on the base of his neck. Izuku slowly undressed you, he groaned at the sight of your naked chest, “so soft… so squishy” he groaned even louder as he grabbed your breasts and squeezed them while he began to grind his hips into you, “that feels good…” you pant and grab his shoulders as he kept grinding into you, “put it in…” you moaned and tugged on Izuku’s shoulders.

You laid back flat on the bed as Izuku slowly stripped himself of his boxers, flexing his muscles with every move he made. Izuku was finally stripped, he knelt between your legs and began pumping his girthy length, you whined loudly as you grew more impatient by the minute, you grabbed one of the pillows you had pushed to the side earlier and throw it at him, “put it in… please” you cried and lifted your butt off the bed, you watched as Izuku leant down to your bare cunt and spat on it, before he roughly grabbed your hip and held them up off the bed. Izuku rubbed his tip against your clit before tracing your entrance, you reached for one of his scared hands on your hip and dug your nails into his skin, “please… please Izuku… I need it in” you begged gripping onto his hand tightly, he chuckled at your pathetic desperation but it did really exist him listening to you like that, “beg louder, I wanna see some really pleading… maybe even some tears, now beg” Izuku chuckled before dropping his voice towards the end, you felt goosebumps form on your body as your opening clenched around nothing. You managed to wriggle from Izuku grasp before crawling up to him and placing you hands on he muscular stomach, “please… please… I need it” you begged with big eyes as one of your hands traveled down his stomach past his bush and wrapping around his shaft, the mountain of a man roared with laughter before he grabbed your wrist and moved your hand away from his dick, “still not good enough… why not put on a show for me” he smirked. You quickly crawled away from him and got on your hands and knees with your ass up in the air facing him, you shook your ass slightly and looked back with big eyes, reaching a hand to your wet cunt before pushing two fingers in, you moaned and watched Izuku as he watched your dripping sex. You gave all kinds of dirty descriptions on what you wanted from your husband through desperate moans and whines, Izuku was slightly taken back because not in all the time you’ve been married have you ever been so sexually or kinky, only a year ago you would have been hiding under the sheets if he had tried any ‘dirty talk’ like he had so far, you certainly wouldn’t have ever shaken your bare ass him. “Mmmm, what a yummy view” Izuku smiled as he began pumping throbbing shaft, “oh are you going to punish me for playing with your meal” you breathlessly giggled as you slowly pulled your fingers out and began rubbing your clit, “maybe a little, I hope you can take all this” he hummed as he held his length upright for you to get a full view of it.

You smirked as an idea suddenly came into your head, you remembered Izuku telling you about a fantasy he once had, though he believed he ‘grew out of it’, which you knew was a load. You gave the man your best pouty face, “please don’t punish me too bad Mr hero” you fake cried, Izuku gasped and blushed heavily for a moment before, his eyes narrowed into glowing green slits and his muscles flexed, “you dumb little cock tease” he growled and he reached down to where he had discarded your shirt before he leaned back up and ripped the material, Izuku then roughly yanked your arm behind your back and tied them together tightly, he made sure there was no way you’d be getting out of this. Izuku grabbed your hips before flipping you on to your back, “you naughty little girl, taking up a big strong hero’s time…” he huffed as he gripped your hips and lifted them off the bed, “help me be a good girl Mr hero… please teach me to be a good girl” you were almost surprised at your words, you didn’t think you’d find something like this so hot, but you did and so did your husband. Izuku began to push into your tight entrance, you whined as his tip popped inside, “it’s tight, relax baby… please” he groaned before he leaned into you and cupped your face in his hand, “breathe baby… breathe” he hummed while he pushed further and further into you.

You moaned and whimpered as Izuku thrust roughly into you, your body moved and the bed shook with the force of his thrust, Izuku eyes were glued to his member sliding in and out of you while your cunt wrapped tightly around him, “Izuku, it’s too much” you gasped, you honestly thought your hips would give out under all the pressure of his thrusts, you couldn’t think of a time were Izuku ever fucked you like this, it was so raw and rough, yet so attentive and caring. You struggle to get your hands free but the shirt was tied too tight, “I wanna hold you” you whined and Izuku clicked his tongue, “not gonna happen, you naughty girl” he chuckled before flipping you onto your stomach, your husband then grabbed your tired arms and held the up, your body shook as he continued his brutal pace, he groaned and squeezed your arms, you began to babble nonsense as you felt yourself slipping into ecstasy, you tightened around his and he looked control of himself. You screamed out as Izuku hooked his arms under your legs and hoisted you up, he movements were so strong and unmanageable, yet so effortless and before you noticed it the bed snapped and broke under his forceful movements and weight, however you were both too lost in the moment you didn’t realise it, “fucking god damnit” he clenched his teeth as he released, he huffed in and out as his fell back and held you tight.

You both stayed like that, basking in your post orgasm glow, “that was fucking amazing” Izuku groaned as you felt his member twitch inside you, you hummed in agreement before sitting up, “Izuku, my arms” you said and felt him untie them before discarding the fabric, you turned and sat on his hips “cuddle with me?” You question before he pulled you into his arms.

You stood in the kitchen phone pressed to your ear as you watched Izuku carry broken pieces of the bed frame outside, “I’m sorry Katsuki-kun but I can’t see you tonight” you spoke before you felt an arm wrap around your back, “it’s alright, meet him tonight… but be sure to ask how my dick tastes or stay and maybe we’ll break more furniture” your husband whispered and you felt a shiver down your spine and your thighs pressed together.

Day 11: The Union - Tenya Iida.

Smutcember Masterlist.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower: Book 1, Chapter 12

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: None- a bit fillery AN: There is some whiplash when you side step into a new and hyper fixation that is so far *not this* that this felt weird lol.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Tom sat at the small dining table talking on the phone. Mia tried not to listen but it was hard not to. What she needed to be doing was sleeping in. 

It was Tuesday morning and the strangest weekend of her life was well in the rear view mirror. She had to face reality and go to work tonight. Thankfully her shift was an early one, all things considered but still. It felt like returning to a world that she didn’t quite fit into again and she couldn’t put her finger on why.

“Everything alright?” Mia asked, sitting down at the cramped table with him. 

“The lease is signed and you can pick up the keys as early as tomorrow.” Tom started with the good news first. “But I’ve got to fly out to New York today for an interview.”

This was it. Mia knew it was coming. There was no way their lives would allow them to be together and after the night before, it hurt. She hated that it hurt. 

They should have kept things business. She shouldn’t have let him in, even a tiny bit. She shouldn’t have opened her heart to the possibility of him. Dumb. God she was so dumb. 

“I need to be there for two days.”

“Work snuck up on you?” Mia tried not to sound sad. 

“In a way.” Tom took her hand in his, the casual affection burning her heart like a knife. “I’ve been dodging Luke for most of the weekend and it slipped my mind. I can come back here after for a but. I’ll need to make a stop home though in a few weeks.”

“You don’t have to stay here so much.” Mia cringed at her words. 

“I want to, darling.” The endearment pulled her eyes to him. Had they gotten to that point? “You’re my wife and it’s only right that when we can be, we’re together. I’ll leave you with some funds for a new couch, groceries and what have you. Whatever you think you’ll need.”

“I can take care of the utilities.” Mia insisted. “I can transfer services from here, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I’ll let Luke know.” 

~~~~~<3

Mia’s phone pinged, drawing her nose out of her book. It was Ashley texting her a link to a news article. So far, she had been so good about avoiding looking at the tabloid stories for the weekend. 

This one though, she couldn’t not see if she was going to dismiss that annoying ‘unread message’ notification. The article preloaded a headline and the picture without her having to click on it. Technology was ever so helpful. 

Looking back at her was a picture of her walking, her arm in Tom’s toward the restaurant from the night before. It had worked, someone had taken the picture. There was a zoomed in shot of her left hand, the unique ring set she loved from the moment she woke up married. 

“Don’t click it.” Tom’s voice was soft. “That’s not a path you want to go down, trust me.” 

“Okay.” She locked her phone. “If you say so.”

“It exists, it means Luke was right and did his job. That’s all that matters.” 

~~~~~<3

Sally hugged Tom tightly at the apartment door. Tears glittered in her little blue eyes as her arms strained to hold onto him as hard as she could. She was wrapped in Tom’s arms as he knelt on the ground between his two suitcases and held her to him. 

This little person was a part of his life now and in a few short days, he cared for her greatly. It terrified him how quickly that bond developed, more than anything else had. She was a little person who was caught up in this whole marriage business and the chaos of his life. She was a child with no say.

“Are you going to come back and tell me more stories?” Her little voice was muffled by his shoulder. 

“Of course.” 

“Do you promise?” Sally asked. 

“I do.” 

Mia’s back stiffened. She was protective over her daughter, as was to be expected of a single mother. There had been countless promises made to Sally over the years that hadn’t been kept. Sometimes, it was Mia herself who didn’t keep the promises but a broken promise that could be avoided was different than someone promising something they couldn’t deliver.

Never promise anything you’re not sure you can keep was a concept she lived by. It was the only thing she could do to try and counter the look on Sally’s face when the promised phone call never came or the Christmas present that was ‘in the mail’ never was delivered. 

When Sally got older she will start to question why the gifts were mailed and the time together was by phone when her father only lived on the other side of the city. But for now at least, she was young and thought the best of everyone. 

“They’ve got to get going, Sally.” The neighbor girl elected babysitter for the night sat on the couch as she waited. “Come on, let’s watch the Nightmare Before Christmas.” 

The movie was Sally’s latest obsession. She loved that she shared a name with a main character. 

“I’ll be back in about an hour, give or take.” 

~~~~~<3

It felt strange to watch Tom load is bags into the back of the car. She didn’t like it and that was something she didn’t like even more.

They drove to McCarran International Airport with tension thick in the air. It didn’t feel good that he was leaving like she thought it would. 

She wanted him to stay longer. She wanted to get to know him more. 

Tom shifted, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. Mia watched but didn’t say anything. It felt like there were so many words inside her that she wanted to say but she couldn’t identify a single one. 

Tom held a card out to her. “Here,” The card hung in the air, suspended by his fingers. She glanced at it then back to the road.

“You don’t-”

“Think of it as a promise that I’m going to come back.” Tom set the card in the cup holder rather than wait for her to take it. 

“That is so cheesy.” Mia couldn’t help but laugh. It was short and died under the tension in the car.

“The movers will be paid ahead. Use that card for a couch and coffee pot- whatever else you feel you need.” 

“I can’t just use your card. I don’ want to leave you in a pinch or something.”

“It’s a credit card. It’s got enough on it and won’t leave me stranded if you go overboard. Not that I think you will. Please, use it. Get a couch and coffee maker. Whatever else you need too. And if something comes up and you need it for something else, use it. If you’re unsure, text me. Call me.”

Mia sighed. She wanted to protest and wanted to send him away with his card but she couldn’t. There were things she needed to replace if she was going to not take the bugs with her. 

“Fine.” 

~~~~~<3

“What airline do you want me to pull up to?” The airport was almost always busier than it had any right to be regardless of the time of day. This time was no exception.

“Can you park?” Tom asked. 

“What?” Mia hadn’t expected to park. They’d already gone by the short term parking. “We’d have to swing around again…”

“Delta it is then.” 

The car stopped on the side of the road designated to load and unload passengers for Delta airlines. Fiddling with the hem or her shirt, she didn’t know what to do as she stood on the sidewalk. 

Tom retrieved his bags from the back of the car without trouble. She had wanted to help but she didn’t want to be in the way. It was easy to be in the way at the airport.

The, in what felt like a blink of an eye, they were standing on the sidewalk together. What an awkward pair they made. 

“You should probably get going, huh?” She didn’t know what else to say. What she really wanted to say was: ‘don’t go’. She couldn’t say that though. 

“I’ll be back in a few days.” Tom said and they stood in silence again. 

People moved around them. The night sky was a deep dark blue though the ground all around them was lit up bright as day. There was no shortage of lights around the airport.

“Come here.” Tom reached out and grabbed her by the wrist. 

She was caught off guard by the action. He pulled her to him and she went easy enough. In a blink of the eye, she was in his arms and the world slowed down and tears she didn’t expect burned at her eyes. 

It felt safe in his arms. The heat of his body radiated off of him. There was more than enough heat in the air already but the heat of his body was something different. She could feel the pounding of his heart in his chest. The scent of his body wash clung to him.

Had he held her since the morning after they changed their lives forever? She didn’t think so. There had been small moments of careful affection but this was not that. Was it a show for anyone observing them? For some unseen cameras he forgot to warn her about? Was it real or was it an act?

“What are you doing?” Mia carefully wrapped her arms around him. 

“I’m holding you.” Tom said as if he didn’t know what the actual question was. 

“Why?” Mia mumbled, her cheek resting on his chest. “Is someone taking pictures?” 

“Not that I know of.” She could feel him sigh. 

“Then why?” 

He was quite for a few moments. The world moved around them and she couldn’t help but to relax into the embrace. The airport faded away as her eyes slipped closed. 

“Because I wanted to.” Tom finally answered. “Because I think I’m going to miss you.”

Nothing seemed like the right response to his confession. In the absence of words, she simply pulled herself tighter against him for a moment. Would it convey what she wanted to say but was too scared? 

And then, the embrace was over, and he was walking away with a parting wave. 

Watching him disappear into the airport, bags rolling behind him left her feeling alone. He thought he was going to miss her. She was scared to say it but, she thought just maybe she would miss him too. It was something she should have said. She wished she had said it. 

She stood watching as he made his way toward the ticket machines. He stopped and looked out the large windows. Her breath caught in her chest as a look of surprise crossed his face for a moment before it lit up in one of his smiles. His smiles were beautiful. 

Raising his hand, he waved at her a final goodbye. 

~~~~~<3~~~~~<3

Mia’s hands were held in his. Her heart felt like it was trying to beat out of her chest. The words said to here were hard to follow but she loved the way they sounded in his voice. 

He had a magical voice. This was magic. He was magic. 

“Do you take this woman to be your wife?” The officiant said. The rest of the things after were lost to her but that lingered in her mind. 

“I do.” Tom said as clearly and confidently as if he had been sober. 

It took a few tries to thread the matching wedding bad onto her finger though once it did, it nestled against the engagement ring perfectly. She hoped that they would nestle their lives together into one just as perfectly. 

“And do you take this man to be your husband?” Again the other words were lost. Was he able to keep track of the things being said to them? 

“I do.” She hoped she sounded as clear and confident as he did. The simple gold band slipped onto his finger as if it was made to be there. It felt like his hand had been waiting forever for her to put that simple ring where it had always belonged. 

“You may kiss the bride.” The officiant said. 

Tom reached out, caressing her cheek with his hand before pulling her into him. She could feel the metal ring on his finger and loved it. Then his lips were on her’s.

Soft and strong. She could smell the whiskey on his breath and as she gasped a breath, she could then taste it on his tongue. Her arms were around his neck as she arched into his embrace. 

There was no where else in the world she was meant to be in that moment. 

~~~~~<3

Tag List: @winterisakiller @alexakeyloveloki, @jennyggggrrr, @dangertoozmanykids101 @tilltheendwilliwrite @tinchentitri @wizardcherryblossom @buttercupcookies-blog @violethaze @kats72 @soulpiercing

[buckets-and-trees]

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/imyourbratzdoll/712204199793917952

Stop I love you for this

He’s the most beautiful most scrumptious man

I’m so happy for his gfs who get to have him

This is honestly so sweet

I need someone to do this to me, to bring me back to life. NOW 😭

OKAY YES, BUT LIKE I SAID BEFORE...

jdka;f;adlf

And nonnie, your ask here got me thinking about this again okay I think about his forehead kisses many times a week but that's beside the point

But I got to thinking about how this would play out with Bucky...

Characters/Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader - gif above is a female, but writing below is not female-coded, can be read gender neutral Content: bulleted head cannon, fluff, workplace angst A/N: we're just letting this spill out and seeing where it goes, no editing, and maybe I'm not the only one who needed this

there's an element of touch-starved in Bucky Barnes because of his time as the fist of HYDRA

but I think as he begins to come into his own again, one of the things he's probably constantly aware of is his body

because not only does he have fully autonomy again, he's also the super soldier - increased strength, sharper senses

he's not a weapon, but his movements matter, and especially because they're finally all his now again

once he's seeing you, in a relationship with you, he's very aware of how the acts of physical intimacy - hot and heavy and sexual, to the nuance, the normal moments

and he doesn't smother you 24/7 with constant touching, but once he knows he's all in with you (even if it's still early stages of the relationship and he's letting it move at a natural pace, not pushing because he just knows and he's content to let things unfold because he's happy) he doesn't hesitate or hold back at all with physical touch

one day after work, he's invited you to come to his place for dinner

he's cooking when you arrive, so when he lets you in, he greets you with a warm smile, pulls you in for a short but sound kiss, and then ushers you back into the kitchen with him

and as you fall into conversation, he can tell in your tone, it's finally been an awful day

he knows you've been burning the candle at both ends, and the past couple of weeks you've been putting in a lot of extra hours because there were special projects that really were important to you, and you're not one to half-ass anything, you're a stubborn over-achiever, and he loves that drive and spirit in you but he knew your relentless pace would call for recovery at some point

so first he listens while you explain what happened that day, continuing to fix dinner while you lean up against the counter

"and I love my job, and of course it isn't perfect, but for the most part I still love the work, even though Rachel is still a pain in the ass, and I wish Jerry would do a bit more, and usually that's fine, but today I just wanted to cry or punch people pretty much all day after 12:30, and I hate that I felt that"

Bucky steps in front of you, letting one arm wrap around you to pull you close while his other hand cradles your jaw, tilting your head slightly, and his nose softly nuzzles over your brow before he plans a kiss on your forehead

you soften into his hold and he wraps his other arm around you

you tuck your head into the crook of his neck and he slowly rubs your back

"you're allowed to not like your job sometimes - it's work"

you groan, "and it's worse because I'm complaining to a freaking avenger as if you don't risk your life every time you go to work"

"don't do that, what you do is important, too - and let's not over exaggerate: I'm more durable than your average avenger, so it's not that risky"

he can't fix this, and he knows you don't want him to, but he can listen, and he'll hold you and tell you with more touches and kisses throughout the night that you matter to him and he sees the hard work you put into you career, and he'll talk and not talk with you the rest of the evening

he'll worship you properly in his bed, and then he'll convince you to stay over, and in the morning he'll convince you to take the day off because you really do need the rest and he can spoil you and spend more time memorizing every inch of your body all day which is just a fringe benefit for him

but orgasms aside, the way your heart swells each time he takes a moment simply to plant his affection, his adoration for you with a soft kiss on your forehead...no one needs forehead kisses, they're not in the script, and so they mean something both to him when he gives them and to you when you feel those lips mark you with tenderness

he did it when you dropped off to sleep, he did it when the two of you woke up

you'll stay in his arms forever if this is what it will mean to be his to care about and share a life with

[fluentmoviequoter]

Redeemed

Day 3 of 12 Days of Ficmas

Pairing: Clint Briggs (Spirited) x fem!reader

Summary: Four years after Clint broke your heart, he knocks on your door. You plan to close the door in his face but see a different man than the one you used to know.

Word Count: 2.7k+ words

Warnings: spoilers for Spirited (2022) and a specific reference to the song 'Bringing Back Christmas,' fluff, slight angst, flashbacks are italicized, more fluff.

A/N: Spirited is one of my favorite movies, and the Santa suit is one of Ryan Reynold's best looks! I wrote this last Christmas but I changed a few things and I like how it turned out. Clint is an underrated character and deserves more attention (I also changed his ending, which he also needed because... that ending? woof).

Masterlist Directory | Request Info

Christmas Past – 4 Years Ago

“You already made me watch Nora leave, and the worst day of my life. What more do you think you can accomplish?” Clint asks.

“Maybe nothing,” the Ghost of Christmas Present says, gesturing to the new setting.

“Clint, can you please just listen to me?” a young woman asked, standing across the desk from Clint.

“I don’t know what you want from me! Do you want me to quit my job? Leave everything I’ve worked so hard for?”

“Please don’t do this, I’ve relived it enough,” Clint pleads, his eyes not leaving the woman.

“No, of course not. I just think you need to rethink what exactly it is you’re doing, what you’re sacrificing,” the woman continued.

“And what is it that I’m sacrificing? Time with you?” Clint asked sarcastically.

“This isn’t about me, Clint. This is about you turning your back on who you really are. You are an entirely different person than the guy I used to know. This company is stealing more of your soul every day!”

“If you hate who I’m becoming so much, you can go,” Clint said, bordering emotionless.

“I don’t hate you, Clint. I miss you,” she said, shoulders dropping.

“If you think I’m going to change, even for you, then you really don’t know me.”

She took a deep breath before looking into his eyes, “Do you want me to leave?”

Clint’s gaze leveled with hers. “I won’t stop you.”

“Clint,” she said, stepping backward toward the door, “you’re a good man. I hope you realize that someday.” She turned and walked out the door, not looking back.

“I remember all of this, what’s the point?” Clint asks.

“You didn’t see this part.”

“What happened?” Kimberly asked, standing when she saw the girl exit Clint’s office.

She had tears streaming down her face as she said, “I don’t even know him anymore.”

Kimberly hugged her, shaking her head as she looked at Clint’s office door.

“She’s spent every Christmas since then alone. Sad.”

Clint can’t speak, willing himself to wake up from this dream.

Present Day

Time freezes as Clint braces for the impact that doesn’t come. Music begins to play as “Roberto” cheers that this is it. Breaking into song, yet again, Clint finally understands the beauty of changing and doing good things. As the song ends and time remains frozen, he starts running, leaving the bus to squeal to a stop for no reason. He runs through town into a residential district, not stopping as people whistle and yell at “Santa Claus.” Turning down a once familiar road, he slows in front of a house. More Christmas lights are on this house than the rest of the street combined. A Christmas tree in the front window harshly contrasts the blinking LED party lights next door. He walks onto the porch, freezing as he raises his hand to knock.

The party next door is driving you crazy. You are trying to enjoy your favorite Christmas movie and hot chocolate in peace, distracting yourself from the now-familiar loneliness of the season. Four people in Christmas costumes have already come to your door by accident, causing you to pause your movie and direct them to your neighbor’s house. One of the partygoers hit on you, but it didn't help you feel any better. You finally get comfortable again just before the doorbell rings. Sighing, you remove yourself from the nest of blankets on your couch, and goosebumps spread down your arms at the new lack of warmth. Looking out the peephole, you see the top of someone’s head and a Santa suit. 

You open the door a few inches to say, “Party’s next door.”

Someone says your name quickly, stopping you from closing the door. You pull the door open further, standing halfway in the opening.

“What are you doing here, Clint?”

Clint smiles, a small, sad smile, as he looks at you, but it falls when he begins speaking. “I know I shouldn’t be here, but I need to tell you that I’m sorry. If you want to slam the door in my face, I deserve it. But you have to know that letting you walk out that day was the worst mistake of my life.”

You shake your head and argue, “No it wasn’t.”

He furrows his brow in thought before nodding. “You’re right. I’m working on that one though; Owen and I are going to the lawyers after New Year’s so I can adopt her.”

“Seriously?”

“A lot has changed tonight. I think I’ve changed tonight." Clint smiles, chuckling as he thinks about everything that has happened. “I couldn’t let another Christmas go by without apologizing to you. I’m sorry if I overstepped by coming here but I had to let you know. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I miss you and I regret everything I said and did.”

You open your mouth to say something before closing it again and looking up into the sky. As you step onto the porch, hugging the door frame to keep your distance from Clint, he turns to see what you are looking at, smiling when he sees the snow falling.

“Still love the snow, I see.”

You nod, distracted by the flurries, as you begin walking into your yard, nothing but a thin Henley, leggings, and fluffy elf socks protecting you from the elements. Clint watches you before realizing how under-dressed you are, rushing toward you as he pulls his jacket off and places it on your shoulders.

“You’re going to get frostbite,” he chides gently, standing beside you and looking down at your face as you look up at the snow.

“Do you believe in Christmas miracles?” you ask quietly.

“I’m starting to,” he replies, still watching you with a smile.

You turn to face him, shocked to see his gaze already focused on you. “It hasn’t snowed on Christmas in four years.”

“I know. But you need to go inside, at least put some shoes on,” Clint says.

“What was your plan? After you apologized?” you ask, stepping closer to him.

“Honestly, I thought you’d tell me to get lost. Best case scenario, you’d tell me we could be friends again.”

You nod, rubbing your hands together to warm up. “Do you remember what I said to you that day?”

“You said I was a good man and you hoped I realized it someday.”

“You finally realized, Briggs.” You smile for the first time that night, and Clint feels his heart skip at the sight.

“You need to go warm up,” Clint whispers.

“I feel fine,” you reply, smiling. “But if you want hot chocolate, we can head inside.”

“I would love some hot chocolate.”

You boldly take his hand, leading him inside and closing the door behind him. As you walk into the kitchen, he stops by your fireplace, looking at the pictures on the mantle. He runs his finger along the top of one of you and him, smiling as he remembers the day it was taken.

“I have something for you,” you say as you return and set the hot chocolate on the coffee table.

You grab a gift from under the tree and pass it to him. He sits on the couch with it, watching you as you sit on the ottoman across from him. He tears his eyes from you, opening the gift and smiling.

“I meant to mail it every year, just… couldn’t,” you explain, shrugging.

He sets the box on the table. “Thank you,” he says quietly, eyes dropping to the floor before looking back at yours. “I like your elf socks,” he teases.

“I like your Santa suit, very GQ winter edition,” you reply.

“It’s not even complete right now!”

“Oh,” you say quietly, moving to take the jacket off.

“Hey,” he interjects, his hand covering yours. “I’m kidding, you’re fine. Looks better on you anyway.”

“That’s not correct.”

He glances at the TV. “Your favorite. How many times have you watched it this year?”

“Too many,” you answer, laughing. “Not like I had anything else to do.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you believe in me? You always told me I was good; did you really think that was true?”

“Of course, I thought it was true. I know you, and no matter how hard you tried to hide it, it was still obvious you were good.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you.”

“You didn’t have to, Clint. I always hoped you’d realize how good you were and find someone who actually deserved you.”

“What does that mean?”

“You were always going to be too good for me.”

His hands grab the corners of the ottoman, dragging it so it is right in front of him. Your knees touch his, and your breath catches at the proximity.

“No, I wasn't,” he says.

“Clint, you deserved better. Someone who wouldn’t have walked out that day.”

“You deserved someone who wouldn’t have let you leave like that.”

You silence as you look down at your hands, fiddling as you try to think of something to say.

“I’m sorry for, uh, interrupting your movie and your Christmas. If you want to come over for Christmas, please feel free,” Clint says as he stands and walks to the door, closing it behind him as he leaves.

You look at the empty seat in shock, jumping up and running behind him. “Clint!” you yell as you follow him onto the sidewalk.

He stops and turns back toward you.

“You can’t just tell me all that and then leave!”

“I thought you were mad I came over,” he explains, hands moving as he speaks. “I didn’t want to ruin another Christmas for you.”

“Clint, you didn’t ruin Christmas for me. Yes, I miss you like crazy every Christmas, but it wasn’t ruined. I’m the one who made the problem.”

“I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Shouldn’t I get a say?”

He shrugs noncommittedly, eyes going over your shoulder to the party momentarily.

“You forgot something when you ran out,” you say.

“You can keep the jacket.”

“Not what I meant.”

“The gift?”

“No.”

“I don’t- “

You cut him off, stepping toward him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and kissing him. He freezes momentarily before wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer as his lips move against yours. You and Clint shiver in tandem, pulling apart but keeping your arms around one another. The snow falls heavier, beginning to coat the ground.

“You’re still not wearing shoes,” Clint points out.

“You ran out like the place was on fire, I didn’t really have a choice."

Clint leans down, nudging his nose against yours before his phone begins ringing.

“Hey, Kimberly,” he says, gesturing his head back towards your house and wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you begin walking. “Yes, thanks. We’ll be there… Yes, we… I know… Bye.”

As you enter your house, he ends the call and turns to look at you. You extend the Santa jacket to him and laugh as he puts it on.

“Was that my best friend Kimberly?” you ask.

“It was,” he answers, wrapping his arms around you as he walks to the couch.

He falls back on the couch, pulling you into his lap.

“Who is we?” you ask, leaning against his chest.

“Us. You and me.”

“And what exactly did I agree to?”

“Christmas at Kimberly’s. Owen and Wren are going too. They were all ice skating tonight and came up with it.”

“Why didn’t you go ice skating with them?”

“I was there for a few minutes. Then Roberto lost it and I had to come to see you. Oh, hey, you get to meet Roberto!”

“Who?”

“The guy that helped me change, he’s my bro.”

“Oh.” You nod as your eyes narrow. “I’m eternally indebted to him for that one.”

“You did, too,” he adds.

“Whatever,” you mumble, rolling your eyes and leaning into him further.

“I have a gift for you too. We can go get it on the way to Kimberly’s.”

You turn into his chest, leaning up to kiss him again. He returns it, arms wrapping around you and holding your shirt. He pulls back suddenly and looks at you.

“Is this my shirt?”

“It used to be. Mine now.”

“I stand by my previous statement that you look better in my clothes.”

“And I stand by my previous statement that you are wrong and absolutely no one could look better in that than you.”

“Are you saying I look good?” he asks, raising his eyebrows and smiling.

“Yeah,” you say, as if it is obvious. “You should wear it tomorrow.”

“I wore it to a costume party today.”

“You could wear it every day and no one would complain, Clint.”

“I’m trying to ease up on the ego, so chill,” he requests, laughing at your comment.

You roll your eyes before kissing him again and standing.

“Where are you going?”

“I was thinking about running down the street again.”

“Rude.”

“I want hot chocolate,” you say, shrugging before picking up the mugs and walking into the kitchen.

Clint is right behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and dropping his chin to your shoulder as you reheat the drinks. You return to the living room and restart the movie, watching it as you drink the hot chocolate. As the movie ends, the party next door finally wraps up, and the lights and music turn off as cars drive away.

“Who has a party that loud on Christmas?” Clint asks. You glare at him silently, and he sighs before conceding, “Yeah, I heard it as I said it. That’s not the same neighbor you used to have, is it?”

“No, the new guy’s name is Doug.”

Clint leans back with the force of his sudden laughter. “I’m sorry, just- “

“I know. Kimberly has sent me videos of all of your performances.”

“Are you serious?” he asks, face falling as his laughter ceases.

“That’s why she’s my best friend.”

“I thought I was your best friend,” he says, frowning.

You kiss him again before whispering, “I think we’re more than friends.”

“Tonight went much better than expected,” he says against your lips.

Christmas Day

You walk to the large window in Clint’s penthouse while he gathers his gifts before going to Kimberly’s house. He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. You lean against him and hold his arms. 

Turning in his arms, you kiss him before whispering, “I love you, Clint.”

His eyes widen, and he raises one arm behind your head and hugs you tightly. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeats before kissing the top of your head.

“That’s a lot of love,” you say, chuckling wetly.

“One for every Christmas I wish I had said it.”

You pull back, and he wipes your tears before kissing you again.

“We need to go,” you say quietly.

“Five more minutes,” he replies, squeezing you tighter.

Wren yells your name and rushes forward to hug you when you walk in, followed shortly by Kimberly. 

“Why are you still wearing that?” Wren asks Clint, laughing.

“Someone liked it,” he answers, gesturing to you.

“I asked you to wear it and you said no!” Kimberly exclaims.

“Yeah, but I love her a little differently,” Clint counters.

Your eyes widen as Kimberly and Wren hug both of you again.

“’Bout time!” Owen yells.

The doorbell rings, and Kimberly opens it, announcing, “Roberto’s here!”

“You’re together!” Roberto cheers, looking at Clint’s arm around your waist.

“I feel like I missed a lot,” you whisper to Clint.

“I’ll explain later.”

“So, you lived your own Christmas Carol?” you ask, back at his penthouse with his arms around you.

“Pretty much,” Clint answers.

“And you saw me in Christmas Past?”

“Mmhmm. And then I ‘changed’ and immediately came to see you.”

“And Roberto is Christmas Present?”

“Retired, but yes.”

You nod, eyes going to the bookshelf behind Clint.

“Do you believe me?”

Your eyes widen as you nod. Clint turns to see Marley standing on his table.

“What do you want, Marley?”

“I wanted to ask if I could use part of your song for future unredeemables?” he asks.

“Sure,” Clint agrees.

Marley falls through the table, his chains following him. 

Clint dodges one of the chains as he yells, “Still not funny!”

“Huh. Sounds like a movie,” you say, more to yourself than Clint.

“Kind of does. I’m glad I got the girl,” he says, smiling before kissing you.

“I love you, Clint. Merry Christmas.”

“I love you. Merry Christmas.”

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Consequences 

Summary: What if you weren’t sure if you wanted to have a family with Frankie? What if you had to make that decision while your husband went on a mission that was supposed to last 5 days, but already lasted 12? What if he would hate you?

Pairing: Franke Morales x fem. Reader

Wordcount: 2.4k

Rating: M

Warnings: angst, unplanned pregnancy, discussions of abortions, mentions of drug prorblems, character death, more angst, also fluff?

Masterlist

The word didn’t change, no matter how much you looked at it. 

Pregnant. 

You were pregnant.

One little world that made your stomach turn and feel nauseous. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. 

This was… This was not your plan. You didn’t even know if this was ever really in your plan. You were careful. You were on birth control and Frankie used condoms almost every time. 

Fuck… Frankie. 

Sweet, caring Frankie, the man you loved. The man who very much wanted a family. You… fuck you didn’t know if you could do this. He was just out of rehab, he had no real job and you were just a secretary, studying in evening school to get your masters degree. 

This was…

There was a knock on your door and you called out that you’d be out in a minute. You carefully wrapped the test in some tissues, pulling it into your purse before you made your way out to the front and continued to work for the rest of the day.

“I need to tell you something and I don’t want you to react. Just listen,” you said later that day after dinner, sitting across from Frankie on the couch. He was freshly showered, only wearing boxers and a white shirt. 

“What’s going on babe?” he asked, his brown eyes wary. He gave you a small smile and you were reminded of the fact just how much healthier he looked now than back when you first met him almost two years ago. 

You took a deep breath, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. You felt his hands on top of yours. 

“You can tell me anything, you know that,” Frankie said, sitting a little closer. 

“I know. I just… I’m scared that you will hate me after you listen to what I have to say.”

“Hey,” one of his hands came up to touch your cheek. He smiled softly at you, his eyes warm and welcoming. You had no idea how he made you feel at peace with just the touch of his hand or with a look, but you hoped you would have it in your life forever. 

“It’s not possible to hate you. I love you,” he said and you sucked your bottom lip in as you tried to not cry on the spot. 

“Just get it out. Rip it off like a bandaid. I can take it,” he said.

You took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, nodding at you. 

“I’m pregnant and I don’t know if I want to keep it,” you closed your eyes, not wanting to see the hurt and resentment in his eyes. You felt his hand tense for a moment, before his thumb continued to brush over your chin. 

“Okay,” he whispered and you opened your eyes to look at him. You knew the expression on his face, he was hiding his feelings from you. 

“Okay?” you asked in a whisper. 

“Yeah.”

“Just like that?” you were suspicious. 

He took a deep breath, his hand parting from your cheek to rub over his face. 

“You didn’t want me to react.”

“I’m beginning to regret that decision,” you mumbled and he chuckled. “Tell me what you think,” you whispered. 

“I… Fuck… Even though it’s shit timing and we’re broke as fuck… A part of me is… happy? But like… it doesn’t matter what I think if you’re not on board? It’s… you have to do most of the work, all the work really, I’d be just… there for the ride and support you on every step of the way. And that goes…” he took a deep breath, “that goes for whatever you decide.”

“Frankie… I know you want kids.”

“And I know you don’t know if you want kids.”

“So what do we do now?” you asked. He kissed your temple. 

“Now? Now we’re going to sleep cause it’s been a long fucking day. And then we’ll talk some more tomorrow,” he said. 

“I love you, you know?” you whispered and put your arms around his back, letting your head drop to his shoulder. He rubbed your back. 

“I love you too.”

“What is your biggest fear if you terminate?” Frankie asked. You were lying in bed, your head on his chest, as his fingertips ran patterns on your back. 

“That you’ll hate me? That you relapse? That I am going to regret it?”

“Do you think you would regret it?”

“I don’t know if regret is the right word. I don’t think there’s a woman on this planet that makes this decision without much thought. I just… I don’t think this is the right time. I don’t think I am ready for this,” you whispered out the words. 

You had done a lot of thinking. And while Frankie was as supportive as you had expected he would be, you could see his eyes light up everytime he talked about the potential of a future family, which made this so much harder. 

You never saw yourself as the motherly type. But meeting Frankie changed that. He was so in love with the idea of becoming a parent one day that a little had rubbed up on you. While the thought of having a baby scared you shitless before, the thought wasn’t that… scary anymore.

You could see having a baby in the future. But… you didn’t know if now was the right time. But what if it wouldn’t work if you finally decide you were ready?

Is anyone ever really ready for this?

“If you’re not ready for this, I understand.”

“That doesn’t mean that I…”

“Shh… Let’s just wait until the appointment tomorrow. I gotta meet Pope after, but I’ll pick up dinner and then we talk, okay?” he said softly. 

You nodded against his chest. 

“You're not gonna hate me, right?” you whispered. 

“I love you too much to hate you.”

You were sitting on your couch, staring at the ultrasound picture you had gotten earlier today. You were waiting for Frankie to come home.

How do you make a decision like that?

You hadn’t told Frankie but you had made an appointment to terminate in 10 days.

But you did not know if you could go through with it. 

No matter how often Frankie assured you that he would love you no matter what you’d do, your biggest fear was losing him. 

Both of you had used the last couple of days to go through the numbers. 

You were barely making enough money now to cover the costs. With all the shit a baby needs and the hospital costs alone you’d need at least an additional 10k. 

And that was only if there weren’t any complications. 

Money you would need to get Frankie’s licence back. 

You were so fucking anxious about it all. 

The door opened and you turned your head, seeing Frankie come in. You tried to smile at him, but tears were welling up in your eyes and you turned away from him before he could look at you. Or so you thought. 

“Hey,” he said soothingly, sitting down next to you, his arms pulling you against his chest.

“You’re okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“You can’t be serious,” you huffed.

“If money is all you are concerned about, then this is the solution,” Frankie said, sitting on the couch. You were walking through the living room, trying to keep calm. 

“You are telling me an OP in south america which could also fucking kill you is the solution to me deciding if I want to have a baby?”

“You are already pregnant. We just need the money…” Frankie started.

“I don’t fucking know if I want to keep it Frankie. It’s not just the money. I am fucking scared. Scared that I can’t do this. Scared that I fucking die. Scared that I will resent this child if I go through with it cause it might turn out that I do not want this.”

“But at least if I do this money wouldn’t be a concern, baby. We’d have everything we could dream of. I could stay home and help you. You and the baby.”

You took another deep breath, looking up at the ceiling, shaking your head. 

“I can’t do this,” you whispered. 

“Can’t do what?” Frankie asked, standing up. He took your hands and you looked at him. 

“You said you would love me no matter what,” you said quietly, tears in your eyes. 

You saw in his eyes, the moment he realised what you were saying. He nodded, pulling his arms around you. 

“Will you stay here, please? I don’t want you to go,” you whispered against his ear. 

“I already said I was going,” he said and you sighed, before you pulled away from him. 

“Baby…” he said but you shook your head, trying to fight the sob. 

“I have the appointment in 10 days. Be there or I don’t know….”

“You already made an appointment?” he asked in disbelief. 

“I wasn’t sure I would need it. But apparently we both make decisions that concern our future by ourselves now,” you said before you turned away and walked into your bedroom, closing the door behind you, before you broke down crying. 

You hadn’t seen or heard from Frankie in 10 days. 

He had packed his stuff and told you he’d be back in five days. 

Now it had been ten days. 

You called Molly, asking her if she knew something but she hadn’t heard anything either. She was sitting with you in the waiting room as you looked at the clock, seeing the seconds go by.

What if Frankie died?

What if he will never come back?

What if this child is the only thing…

“Hey are you okay?” Molly asked and you looked at her. 

“I don’t know,” you whispered. 

“You know you have time left. You don’t have to do this now,” she said, squeezing your hand. 

The door opened and your name was called. 

“No. I have to do this now,” you whispered, before you took a deep breath, looking at Molly before you got up and followed the nurse into the room.

It was four days later when you received a phone call at 3 am. It was Frankie, telling you how sorry he was. Telling you that they lost all the money. That Tom was dead. And that he would be home in a couple of days. 

You had cried yourself to sleep that night. 

Relieved that he was still alive, scared for what was yet to come once he got back. 

They all came home three days later. You were standing next to Molly, her hand in yours as the casket was unloaded and the boys walked behind it towards you. 

She was trembling, but you held her. 

She didn’t as much as glance at the four men as the casket was rolled towards her, turning her back towards it to follow it being rolled to the car which would take it to the funeral home. 

You however caught Frankie’s gaze for a second, dark bags under his eyes that probably mirrored yours before you walked away from them.

You had temporarily moved into Molly’s house. 

To take care of her and the girls, but also because you couldn’t face Frankie. 

You were disappointed and angry that he made the decision to go on a death mission. Not a night went by that you imagined it was him not coming back instead of Tom. And you hated yourself for being glad it wasn’t him that died. 

It made you wonder if he would ever make decisions like that again in the future. If you had a future together. 

There was a knock on your door and Molly walked in. 

“Frankie is outside,” she sat down next to you and you looked at her. 

“He looks like shit. Wants to talk to you.”

“I was wondering when he would show up,” you said. 

“I… I don’t want him in my house. Not after… I know it’s not his fault but…” you took her hand. 

“I know.”

You sat in silence.

“Are you gonna tell him?” she asked. 

“I don’t know. I think I have to.”

You found yourself in her arms the next moment and you smiled against her cheek.

“You can sit outside on the porch with him,” she whispered before she got up and left your room. 

“Hey,” you said, pulling the blanket around your shoulders tighter as you walked out. Frankie turned around, taking off his hat. 

“Hey,” he said nervously. You gave him a small smile before you sat down on one of the chairs pulling your legs against your chest. He walked past you, sitting down on the chair next to yours. 

“I’m… I’m glad you.. I’m glad you’re back,” you said quietly. 

“Me too,” he said. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before I told Pope I’d go. That’s not…. I don’t want to be like that. You’re the most important thing in my life. I don’t… I can’t lose you.”

You closed your eyes, listening to him. 

“Frankie…” you whispered, looking at him. 

“I… went to the appointment? To… to terminate?” you said and could see his shoulders drop. 

“I sat there, wondering if you were still alive, and.. It.. it broke me. Thinking that I would never see you again and that the last thing we did was fight. They… They make you listen to the heartbeat before? To confirm it? Or I don’t know some modern kind of torture I guess. And I… I couldn’t do it Frankie,” you whispered the last part.

“I couldn’t do it, knowing that maybe this child was the last thing I had left of you…” Frankie got up and knelt down in front of you, taking your hands. 

“I’m so fucking angry at you,” you shook your head, tears running down your cheeks. “But I love you. I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too.”

“I’m so fucking scared, Frankie,” you whispered and he carefully pulled you into his lap, his arms around you, your face in the crook of his neck. 

“Me too,” he admitted and you sobed. 

“But we’ll figure it out,” he kissed your shoulder. 

“We always do.”

[spookyspecterino]

15 Lines of Dialogue Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Thanks for tagging me! @fangbangerghoul

(This is a Picrew of my OC, Canary. I created her for the Bale Batman universe, where she commits various unhinged crimes. Just writing her for fun at this point and I've had a blast with her so far. I really was put on this earth to write crazy characters.)

Lines are below the cut

1. Canary tosses her cigarette into the street with a flick. "I don't know what you were originally thinking, big guy, but you're fucked now."

2. "You know that job was mine... are you stepping on my toes here?" She crosses her arms, leveling him with a stare. "Actually, don't answer that. I don't care."

3. Canary shrugs, that signature, slow smile stretching from ear to ear. "Bats...come on...let's just talk this out first!"

4. "Oh, I would never!" She hesitates, "Unless someone paid me to do it. Then...yeah, then I'd do it." Crane gives her a look. "What? I like money."

5. "Well, I could always break the Clown out..." The startled stares around the room turn to her. The conversation hushes. Canary smiles. "I'm joking, I'm joking!"

6. She takes a drag from her cigarette. The blood on her fingers stain the yellow paper. "You do that again and I'll kiss you on the mouth."

7. "I'm a fairly simple person. I like murder and I hate being in jail."

8. "Sounds good!" She shoves the knife deeper in the man's chest. He's already dead from the looks of it. "Absolutely no problem at all!"

9. "Do I look like I'm the kind of person that goes to a hospital?" Crane just stares at her blankly. "Come on, I keep duct tape in the car for a reason."

10. Canary scratches her head, or tries to to, but the cuffs restrain her movement. "Hey, bats. Can we hurry this up? I have a 7:00 I gotta get to." He ignores her. He always does. "I reaaally can't miss this, Barb is gonna be pissed if I do." Her cuffs rattle as she shakes her hands for emphasis. "We're reading The Great Gatsby this week and I'm in charge of bringing the snacks!"

11. "Fair enough. But I'm still going to put a collar on you and make you walk on all fours."

12. "Please don't growl at me, Croc." She pouts up at him. "You know I'm sensitive."

13. "How on earth am I--" Canary switches the cellphone to her other hand as she kicks the dead man's arm into the trunk. "--supposed to get anyone to respond to an email these days?"

14. "Yeah, listen. I've never had a problem with clowns, but this..." She looks around the room at the sea of colorful masks. "This is a little much for me. And I'm fairly easy going."

15. "So you want me to kill someone?" She shifts her weight, leaning against the half-wall. Her fingers turn over a pack of cigarettes. Crane nods in that solemn way he always does, never giving anything away behind those blue eyes. Canary continues, "Ok. I like you, so I'll do it. But I expect a favor, later on." She waggles her eyebrows trying to get some sort of reaction from him.

- - -

No pressure tagging others that might be interested in playing: @nocturnest @aro-pancake @jakopom @bokatankryze

[chvoswxtch]

👋 hi, i'm back again already :)

i'm so glad i'm not alone in being completely feral for those set pictures. like it's insane what just seeing them has done to my brain chemistry. i saw them like an hour or so before i had therapy on wednesday and i felt like i was going insane for the rest of the day. the frank brainrot is real and i will be binge-reading ur fics again (bc i love ur portrayal of frank and i need that man in my life) and just UGH, i can't even explain how this man makes me feel without sounding fucking nuts.

and okay after finishing season two, i just, i have no words. i know that the fandom doesn't always love amy but genuinely, she has such a special place in my heart. and the lengths that frank went to protect her actually just made me want to sob. he absolutely melts my heart and i remember when i watched the start of season 2 all the way back in like september last year, i literally sobbed at the end of the first episode after he had that conversation about maria with the woman he met at the bar. like i am such a simp for this man, it's insane how emotional i get over it sometimes.

also i know you've watched criminal minds (the two fics u wrote were absolutely delicious btw) so i feel like you will understand this but pilgrim's actor being the same as will's just made it slightly hard for me to take him seriously. like the actor did a phenomenal job but i just couldn't help but see him as will. it was so jarring and also just a little bit funny. either way, i didn't hate the storyline as much as i thought but the connection between him and the schultz family did seem a little jarring? or like out of the blue? but i'm not sure if that's because of the writing or because of how long it took me to actually finish the show. but i think it was such an interesting way to connect the two plots even if it confused me?

then okay, like billy this season, he was a complete fucking psycho and usually ben barnes can make psychos be so hot but after he and dumont tried to like break frank by making him think he killed innocents, bro i was not on this man's side anymore. like i honestly was so mad at him. i haven't like been that mad at a character in so long, i was concerned for myself. honestly, i could have strangled billy in that moment. also dumont was just such a kind of dull character? i think the scene in like episode 12 when dumont and madani are having that conversation about like the trauma she (and billy and frank) went through was so good but that was like the most interesting i found her. i'd love to know your thoughts on her!

and like madani? i can't talk about madani without going too feral. like her and frank are my definition of bisexual panic. any time they are on the screen together, i go insane. the thought of the two of them actually is just- it's too much. i feel like madani doesn't get a lot of love in the fandom which always makes me sad because she is (to me) a literal goddess. but anyway.

i have so many more thoughts (mainly about how much i love frank and how fucking good a job jon does at portraying him) but this is already such a long message. i am SO sorry, i can do nothing but apologise

(the only reason it's so long is because none of my friends have actually watched the punisher so i have no one to talk to. sorry court <3)

i'm gonna ramble below the cut with you, please step into my office <3

those set pictures are ruining my life. like it still feels surreal that it's happening?? but i'm so happy they listened to the fans and seem to be taking the reboot seriously. also I know how protective charlie and jon are over matt and frank, so I trust they're making sure it's done right. akjdfhdfh you're too nice to me pls

I loved season 2, personally. it felt a little rushed, but I think that has to due with the fact that they planned more storylines and got cancelled because of the disney plus thing. I liked that we got to see a more fatherly side of frank with amy because it added so many more layers to his personality. we got to see it with the micro's kids, but we got to see it so much more with amy and I loved that

OMG WHEN WILL SHOWED UP I WAS LIKE SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? WHERE IS JJ??? it's so funny you say that bc the first thing I saw that actor in was a horror movie and then criminal minds but I always think of those two when I see him lmao. the pilgrim/schultz storyline was a little strange but again I think it's one of those things where they planned for more and weren't able to do it with the cancellation

I did not care for dumont's character at all to be candid. I don't really feel like she added much to the storyline. my main complaint about billy in season 2 is he still looked too pretty LMAO. like I get it, it's ben barnes, they can only do so much, but frank rocked his shit too hard for him to have a few scratches. I would've preferred to see him be more evil and psycho and bloodthisty for revenge but that's just me

DINAH MADANI THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. she and frank are the definition of bisexual panic. she's just...like that scene of her and karen in the conference room when she's asking her if she knows anything about frank being alive?? karen is a stronger woman than me bc I would've let her bend me over that table. dinah doesn't get enough love in this fandom and that doesn't sit right with me and I feel it is my civic duty to keep the thirst for her alive

pls don't apologize! I am happy to chat about frankie anytime :)

[piovascosimo]

the blur thing is making me insane, and it is maybe hard for people from the outside to get it. but picture this, a 16 year old starts getting into a band in 97, then goes crazy about them when they release a masterpiece a couple of years later but we were still mostly offline back then, access to things was so limited. my first email is from 98 but back then we didn't have internet at home or even a good computer. i used to listen to music on cds, waiting all day for mtv to show one video, and here in brasil they've always privileged awful american bands like 'faith no more', and 'rhcp', ugh. i was thinking beetlebum, but i am pretty sure it was 'country house' or 'the universal', that first appeared to me late at night at some point, that is why i went and bought blur/blur when it came out in 97. i still remember the store and the act of me buying it, that spark of energy that you could feel back then, oh i think this is for me. when 13 came out i was in love with them enough to not need visuals for it, but i used to buy 4th gen copies of concerts via mail order from a pirating store in são paulo. it was so hard to come by any kind of content. finally by the early aughts we got the early (good) internet, some official dvds, and we could illegally download so many great music, buy on ebay old magazines, and discover every single hidden blur song that they ever made, but what i was really excited about were the new songs, the new album. and then i find out via a shitty webcam that graham was out of the band. i understand now that it was a hard time for everyone, but i couldn't help and really resent them for leaving graham behind. it was so depressing, it felt like getting really into the beatles just as about they were to break up, i picked sides, i was upset, i hated (still resent) that album that sounds nothing like blur (and that hideous banksy cover, barf). it was such a bittersweet feeling, when i finally could get somehow near them, my main reason for me loving the band was cast apart. years went by, every reunion they did felt like a triumph and a step closer to where they were before, i saw them for the first time live in 12, after missing the 09 ones, bc i couldn't afford it. you could feel they wanted to put it right, but often you could tell the wound was still raw. i'm a big fan of the magic whip, the album that graham put together, because he wanted there to be more blur, that think tank wasn't the end. i understand that the way the album was created wasn't 'organic', graham made it happen because he wants to work with damon, he wanted to show they could do it again, and i think he did an amazing job, i think it is a beautiful album. but it was not until now, that i have felt that we've come out at the end of the tunnel, so now i am reading all these interviews of damon talking about their friendship and how important musically it is for graham to be there for blur to be blur. it feels like 23 years later i am getting what i was expecting to get back then. the more i listen to the album, more layers i find about them, their friendship, and it's so fucking nice that damon is finally talking about it too. i guess most people get over their teenage obsessions, i am not 16 anymore, but unlike most bands from that era they've kept growing and growing, they don't want to be stuck to the past anymore than i do (my teenagedooom was the worst). it feels really nice growing up with your favourite band. that is why this feels so joyful, and why i can't stop talking about it. feeling grateful about it.

[sprnklersplashes]

uhhhh don’t even know if i’m doing this one right but talk about nbr if you want 🙏 anything you want about it my brain is empty i just like new hyperfixation lore

the not beyond repair director's commentary let's goooo!

So I knew the general structure of it from the beginning and the main plot and relationship beats, such as Martha and Heather coming together because Martha was tutoring her, JD's mum's death coming up at some point. I didn't initially plan for it to become a chapter for each month type of structure, but I think it was the best way to tell the story.

I'm 99% sure I only gave Claire's POV once, in chapter 14, which on the one hand I'm like "sorry bb girl" but on the other, it feels important that we get Claire's POV when JD is at his lowest.

I also didn't know what Claire's last name was going to be until I wrote chapter 17, but I can't imagine it now being anything other than Monroe.

My favourite chapter to write was probably Chapter 12. Not because I'm a sucker for Christmas but it was because I loved the soft friendship moments and the progress of JD and Veronica's relationship

It was super important to me that I emphasise Martha and Ronnie's friendship. Not just because I am a Martha Dunnstock warrior but also because I hate the trope in media of valuing romantic relationships over platonic ones. And if I may say so myself, I think I did it justice.

It was also important to me that Claire and JD's relationship isn't quite like a parent-child dynamic. When writing it, it felt more like they're buddies or maybe closer to siblings. They can't really put a label on it, which is one of the reasons he still calls her Claire and not 'Mom'. It's not that he doesn't love her, he does, it's because their dynamic is different to a typical family.

Okay another Claire note; I also wanted Veronica to kind of be closer to Claire than she is with her own parents. Claire is just housing these wayward teenagers like it's her job.

If I may be critical of myself for one second, if I were doing it again I'd split the chapters up and make them way shorter. So it'd probably be 35-40 chapters rather than 20. I'd also give Dunnmara some more focus but I guess that's what time won't fly is for.

Something I really wanted to dig into when writing it was the themes of the original movie/musical while putting my own twist on them. Looking at the idea that high school feels like forever while you're in it but as the characters get closer to graduating, they realise it isn't and that life goes on outside of it. Hence the moments of Duke and Chandler at prom and graduation starting to mature and step out of their roles of Queen Bee.

On that, if the adults in the original exist to show adults not taking teenagers seriously, Claire is the antithesis to that.

I forgot this until recently but I realised that Veronica started calling JD 'J' and I think it's neat.

Initially I just listened to the Heathers soundtrack while writing this, but when Taylor Swift dropped Lover it became the unofficial soundtrack for this fic.

I love the Martha+JD friendship that emerged from it. SO much. I love that they (to me) felt like they could be friends outside of JD's relationship with Veronica.

I do find it significant that the last few chapters start revolving around the future and how uncertain it can be and growing up and they were written a) during my last year of uni and b) in a pandemic.

Overall I still cannot believe I wrote this. Despite my small criticisms with hindsight and things I'd do differently now, I still consider it one of the best things I've ever written. And personally, I wrote it during such a difficult time in my life. Like the fact that people are still invested in it and still revisiting it and commenting on it four years later is... mind-blowing to me. Truly.