#listen the song made me ok I've been thinking about doing this for Months

[auroradicit]

god made me pretty, you made me mean I brought a blade to the dance routine

 endless muse edits | dead by daylight kalma + cheerleading

[thoughtsonkm]

Goodbye, for now

BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!

This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.

~

SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :

Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jimin

~

It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.

Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)

~

Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol

~

Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏

~

Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂

I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..

NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol

His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂

~

No one ever:

Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY

(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)

~

They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..

Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS

HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't

BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.

~

This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.

~

"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK

Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??

~

Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.

I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU

Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭

The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.

Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.

Signing off, J&J 🥹

Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

Hey how are you doing? I would really like to do a fluffy, comfort kind of a Loki smut. I've been going through a bit of a rough time and if this story can be around the Lana Del Rey's song Cinnamon girl it would be so sweet.

Not the whole song but the lyric "there's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live, like if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did".

Thank you so much in advance ❤ I love your writing so much

Hi 👋 thank you ❤️ I am ok .. lots of work lately ..not much time to write ✍️ but I hope you feel better now ❤️ thank you that means much to me ❤️ I hope you like this one too - I listened to the song over and over it made me kinda sad lol

Hold me

Not for Minors ⚠️🔞🚫

For a long time Loki and you were Friends- very good Friends .

That Friendship was like no other , there was always this undeniable Chemistry and Sexual Tension.

Spending time with him was always fun and exciting.

It took you a while to realize that you are in love with him and accept your feelings .

You tried to hide and ignore your Love for him but after a few months it was too much you couldn't do it any longer you needed to confess your feelings to Loki .

Standing before him , nervous- a blushing stuttering mess "Loki , I ...I ..need to tell you something... important..." - trying your Best to declare your Love for your Best Friend.

I .. - suddenly your thoughts went a different Route - what if he doesn't like you that way,what if he doesn't want to be your Friend anymore,what if you lose him forever now

A moment later you felt Loki's Hand holding yours

"Darling, I love you too" hearing him say that brought you back to Reality , you never felt so happy.After that you both spend the rest of the Day kissing , hugging and cuddling

A few weeks later Loki saw you on the Couch looking sad - thinking about something intensely.

" My Love,are you alright? " he asked , sitting down beside you

Glancing at him you answered "I was just thinking"

" About what?" He needs to know - to help you - to comfort you

"About Us " you whispered

Seeing him with a sad look in his Eyes breaks your Heart that wasn't what you intended

"There's things I wanna say to you

But I′ll just let you live

Like if you hold me without hurting me

You′ll be the first who ever did" you tried to explain

"Hold me, love me, touch me, honey" you said almost begging

"Darling, I love you deeply, I don't want to hurt you,never .I just want you to be alright and happy" Loki replied comforting

You smiled at him softly

"My Love, come sit on my Lap " he commanded in an gentle Tone

Sitting on him you rest your Head on his Body as he hugged you close and caressed your Back.

Kissing his Cheek you comb your Fingers through his black Locks ,a soft moan escaped his lips

"I love you soo much " you smiled -kissing him passionately

For a moment you see him unsure not knowing what to do next - he wants you to be comfortable and not just use you for his own needs.

"Please Loki ,I want you,I need you, I need to feel you " blushing you confirmed you want this.

Taking your shirt and Bra off , kissing you he stands up - clinging on to him - he carried you to the Bedroom - lays you down gently

"My Love, you are soo beautiful " Loki praised

"and you are soo good to me " you answered looking at him - you were surprised as he was suddenly in Bed next to you already naked -you grinned

Excited you removed your leggings and panties and moved close to him .

Holding you he kissed you hungrily. Caressing each other's bodies - you purred- "that feels so comfy "

Moving his Hand down your inner thigh, you gasped as you felt his magical Fingers teasing your Folds , spreading your Wetness around , playing and circling your clit - you moaned heavily for him - it didn't take you long to cum for the first time

After a few deep breaths and coming down from your high - needy you put your leg between his scissoring - with a Smirk Loki inserted his glorious Dick inside you - you gasped as you felt him so deep inside making you feel amazing

Kissing -grinding and thrusting

"Mmmhh ... Loki ... that feels amazing, you feel sooo good" you moaned

"My Love,I love when you moan my Name" he groaned

" Loki ... Mmmh...I am close" you informed him before cuming faster than you expected

Pulling out he kissed your Cheek -

and held you close cuddling and praising you

My Masterlist

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

the pages are turning~

a months old pic of my desk

29th august 2024

day 4/50 - productivity challenge

🕒 6:00 a.m.

sleep deprivation is hitting. eating leftovers and coffee for breakfast.

checked notifs

actually ate some goddamn breakfast

not me realizing that i barely eat 2 meals every school day..

revised psychology: ch-1: what is psychology

here's a (self) reminder to actually go study instead of procrastinating 30 mins by watching study motivation videos.

also i recommend listening to non-lyrical music while studying. i personally listen to classical piano music. this is what i was listening to today morning.

showered

morning skincare

extended duolingo streak

aaand off to school. thought i would be late but honestly i've been reaching at the correct time all these days. if i leave my house by 8:05 then i'm good.

at school i first had physics and then 2 continuous chemistry classes (the teacher is good but her classes are so draining ugh).

completed physics classwork (the stuff i missed when i was absent on tuesday)

did the OCEAN test in psychology class! idk why but i love personality tests. i'll discuss my results with my teacher tmr hopefully but what i gathered is that i'm an ambivert leaning to introversion and ok emotional regulation & stability. my other classmate was very much an extrovert with higher tendency to take others' words to heart. we bunked the last 2 english classes together in the library lol. also want to say that i'm so ashamed for having formed an image in my mind of her, without really knowing her that well. i cruelly judged her prematurely and though we didn't really talk about our lives and stuff, we did get closer (maybe even friends?) today and i regret my judgments. ik i would be crushed if someone thought up an image of me in their head like that and i try not to do the same but sometimes i make mistakes. i'm trying to be more aware of that.

studied psychology ch-6: human memory (in the library when i skipped english)

lightly rained the entire trip home and got much louder as i ate a hearty lunch 😋

started a word doc for biology investigatory project

started a word doc for chemistry investigatory project

me and my bestfriend have been much more honest with our feelings recently. the saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" was actually made for us. she's in a new college all popular with new pretty friends and boys probably crushing on her and she says i'm her favourite person. i'm at a new school slowly making new friends and she's my favourite person. i told her i love her. she deserves to know that. and i meant it totally platonically and that doesn't make it any less. if anyone ever asks, "who's your first love?" i'll say her name. it'll always be her.

practiced playing keyboard 🎹

read newspaper 📰 (some of those cases make me feel sick)

post for studyblr weekly prompt

dinner. yum. noodles and cake.

made notes psychology ch-1: what is psychology?

night skincare

🕒 nope! pulled an all-nighter.. yes i have school tmr 😃 listen i do not recommend doing this shit at all. why did i do it you may ask? i don't really have any crushing deadlines as such, but i've tricked my mind into thinking my own plans are deadlines. this week my sleep has been astronomically fucked up. the weekend will be a reset (i have school on saturday 😭) and i will prioritze sleep. i need to at least manage 6-7 hours everyday.

edit: actually i fell asleep around 2 a.m. and did no other studying..

🎧 i love you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams

her songs are actually just excerpts from my journal but minus the romance unfortunately like where's my gf ugh we're wasting time

a months old pic of my desk

[pianostarinwonderland]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZUL

i have nothing prepared for you except my wet soppy thoughts

maybe i might rush write something bc i do have a few ideas on what to write

fucking breathes

the best. fucking. groovy. ever.

like everyone go home right now.

I have tried to think of every way they could make him look good but it ends up being how they could fuck it up because I’m gonna be honest, a lot of Azul’s recent cards are either decent or not hitting that well 🤡🤡

but this. THIS.

HOLLLLYYYYYYYY FUCK IT’S EVERYTHING

THE LIGHTING . THE THE FUCKING FUCK.

TEH ? VMS LISTEN. HE'S THE CHARACTER FOR EVIL SMIRKS, SO OFC THIS SERIES OF EVIL GROOVIES WAS GONNA BE PERFECT FOR HIM BUT BU T BU T

THIS IS SOOOOOO GOOOD. LIKE??????? DEADASS THE BEST ???? SMIRK??????? HE'S EVER MADE?????????? AND HE LOOKS SOOOO MUCH LIKE HIMSELF

THIS IS ALSO THE BEST ANGLE WE'VE EVER GOTTEN THAT SHOWS HIS 'BALD' SIDE AND THAT'S S OGUFKCKNGJ GOOD

AND AND

🧍‍♀️

h

he hey sir.

your hand looks cold.

m mm mind if i h hh hh hhhh hhol— gunshots are fired

ADN CAN I JUST

CRY ABOUT

PART OF YOUR WORLD BEING THE PAINTING LIKE LEI EK JLGSLKGNLSKDNGOADSNGOAINSAONGOAISNGI0AOHGIOAHGSDHIFGHSDOIGFHNSDINGIDSNJGKVDS

FUCKKKKK THIS WAS WHAT I'VE WANTED FOR THE PAST FWE MONTHS

THE PART OF YOUR WORLD SEGMETJKNJENJKSNGFNDKSJNGKSDKGNSDKLNGLSDGNDSLGS

FUCKGN ISN FCYRING

LISTEN LISTEN.

LISTEN.

I WILL DROP A HOT TAKE RIGHT NOW

THE LITTLE MERMAID SONG THAT DEFINES AZUL IS NOT POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS BUT IT'S PART OF YOUR WORLD

AZUL'S SCHEMING AND CUNNING IS DEFINITELY FROM URSULA AND IS REFLECTED SOOOO MUCH IN POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS

BUT HIS DREAMS

HIS GOALS

HIS AMBITIONS AND DETERMINATION TO MAKE HIS WISHES COME TRUE

PART OF YOUR WORLD REFLECTS THAT.

AZUL WOULD NOT BE AZUL IF IT WASNT FOR PART OF YOUR WORLD

AND THE SPECIFIC PART THEY SHOW OF PART OF YOUR WORLD. IT'S THE PART WHERE ARIEL WAS DETERMINED TO GET TO THE SURFACE

THAT'S LITERALLY AZUL

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

OUGOSHGHSODGHSUGUDSOHGODSGHOSDGDSGOSDHGISDOSDNGDGDSNGNSDOIGNIONAONGNAONSGIOSOGA

ok and can i just

scream about his story

BECAUSE. GOD FUCK THAT STORY LEFT ME DEAD.

loike like AZUL TALKED ABOUT HIS GRANDMA?????

THE SECOND BDAY STORY IN A ROW THAT HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HIS GRANDMA RAISED HIM AND AND HOW SHE'S BEEN SUCH A BIG INFLUENCE IN HIS LIFE

he's a grandma's boy ouhghfohfgf he loves his grandma sm he respects her and cherishes her goddddddddd

i love how he's aware that true compassion comes from not just spoiling someone but also disciplining them and whatnot

it adds to the balanced theme that he has going on

i also just rly love in general that azul loves and respects the maternal figures in his life not only because it makes him more respectable but also because it ties in with the feminism theme that you find in the little mermaid (whether animated or live action)

then then THE WHOLE LIKE,,, PART WHERE AZUL TELLS JAMIL THAT HE WAS SO SURPRISED AT ALL THE NEW SCENTS ON LAND THAT HE WAS SNIFFING AROUND LITERALLY

i first saw that part in an out of context screenshot, where jamil's like "lol haha you were just sniffing around everywhere omg" and i was like HUH?????

@/doom on twt also pointed out that it might be why Azul's into colognes and i think i shuold just be defenestrated at this point from how insane i've been goign

THE BARBEQUE PART THO

IT'S SO CUTE

AZUL, FLOYD, AND JADE DOING A BARBECUE....... WHEN THEY BARELY KNEW ABOUT LAND CULTURE AND PHYSICS................

AND THEY BURNT EVERYTHING LMAOOOO AND THE TWEELS BLEW SMOKE INTO HIS FACE THAT WAS JUST SO CUTE HONESTLY

jamil's like wow that sounds funny haha and honestly same jamil same

AND THEN THE PART WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE PR FOR NRC

god typical azul for doing it so that he can boost himself before graduatign

but i also got a lil emotional on that part not gonna lie bc he's Still grabbing opportunities to achieve his goals and he's working hard for them and god honestly that's one of the main reasons why i fell for him and i still love him for it

i also like

fucking died over his voiced line s

wtf

wtf are those lines

azul actually talking about love and crushes in his groovy....... but it's just him saying it's great cause he can exploit it lmaoooo

babe you're gonna be a disaster when you actually like someone i know it

jamil's already bordering on it, but if you actually end up liking Liking someone it's so over

personally what really fucking sent me though was Azul going "I take art as one of my courses so I can explain to you any painting you're interested in" LIKE

CMON.

CMONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

lore on NRC courses???

but also the way that's phrased sounds like art is an elective you can opt to take ? ?

and he CHOSE to take art? //? /

hELL O

AHAHFAHSHFOIAHSIOFHIOASHFIAS THE ARTIST IN ME IS GOING AWAOHOAHGOAH

ofc Azul looks at art in a business sense, but i love that he's so wiling to branch out and rly appreciate it

cause how many ppl out there put down art :')) employers in particular are really iffy about this

Azul's also designed mostro lounge so you know he has his own style

also wtf Azul, you have your tentacles in business, in science and maths (science would be chemistry ish because of alchemy and arithmetic is Literally listed as his talent), and now in the arts

just.

just

man

happy birthday ashengrotto. take my tears and my insanity for now until i can writey ou smth better

[kani-miso]

self indulgent essomnia

i feel left out being the only one thinking of insomnia as es instead of mikoto. i know it does fit for mikoto, but hear me out.

ramble under the cut

there's actually a lot of reasons on why i think about es insomnia !!

i made this before the new official lyrics came oh my god i needed to update it.

the whole motif of everyone around them being balloon headed people remind me of the es covers album. they're both covered and still have the distinct features of the person (balloon heads still having stuff like glasses and hats, and es covers having each characters character color).

mr creepypasta watching over sunao really radiates panopticon vibes. i've always seen mr creepypasta similiar to jackalope since they're basically the all seeing eye. the way that mr creepypasta takes care of sunao reminds me of how jackalope (more exactly, milgram as a whole) takes care of es, especially if you connect it with the ca theory (we'll get to that later). the difference is that mr creepypasta is actually caring (i think?) and milgram is harsh, the system is just messed up. you can also count the novel jackalopes, they really don't care about their wardens well being (novel jacka (almost) cutting of one of their wardens breath, mv jackalope being absent and verbally abusive).

"what day of the week is today?" "surviving days are too painful" every month, every week, each day, their schedule is packed with work. because they have been working mindlessly they would forget what day it is (also i'm pretty sure you can't really track time in milgram). everyday would be painful for them since there's really nothing to do except work, interrogations are also tiring.

"my smirk is more recognizeable" *bang* each interrogation, their "apatheticness" becomes more visible because the prisoners become more unbearable (ex: fuuta t2 vd ). since they've gotten enough of it, they lash out to the prisoners (ex: fuuta and es' argument).

"even when transmitted in words, they wont intersect" even when es explains the verdicts through words, the prisoners (guilty) wont understand.

"even chant for disagreements, huh, whether those are justice or evil" this line fits perfectly with the guilty 4 (and maybe some innos). the guilties are chanting their disagreement towards their verdict, but es wouldn't listen even if they're right (justice/justifiable reasons) or wrong (evil/malicious reasons).

"as long as we can only be judged subjectively" basically judging the prisoners according to personal biases. they rely on those biased opinions because the viewers technically have more authority than es. the original milgram experiment proves that people(es) will listen to commands even if they're Immoral as long as those commands are sent/told by those above them(us).

"this is the place where i can be myself" this line plays while the mv shows sunao with mr creepypasta behind him. i like incorproting this as milgram being the place where they can be "themself" (even though jackalope is still watching).

"don't mix yourself up" there's many mini sunao's everywhere. it reminds me of how the voices in es' head probably makes them confused on which thought is actually theirs. also, that part of the mv, all of those posters (?) of mini sunao's are like self promoting the song by putting 'insomnia' in every poster. it reminds me of how milgram self promotes in the prisoners mvs (ex: the perfume bottle in weakness, fuuta's phone in bio, yuno's socks having the word 'umbilical' on it, etc).

"don't lose sight of your heart" not sure if this makes sense but es' heart is just feelings of their duty being warden.

"i want to know you, and cross the borderline where neither good nor evil exists" literally the es line ever. they want to know the prisoners and their sins without personal biases (since morality differs from person to person). it really fits with one of the lines in undercover (Is it really ok to be done with deciding with just your EGO?).

"here's the night we can't return anymore, but let me go beyond that with you" isn't the kidnapping of the prisoners and es the night where they can't return no more? the prisoners are trying to make es is tag along with the prisoners to go "beyond" it (ex: some of the prisoners saying how they're both on the same boat (something like that)) milgram is the place where you can't exactly return (in the novels, there's only one person who succesfully left milgram (torch/touchi) but only because he rebelled against the rules).

"one day, we will see each other in the proper world" *mr creepypasta leaving sunao* idk it really just feels like how jackalope is absent and not caring for es 90% of the time.

↑new lyrics: "i hope we can meet in the world i envisioned" this line fits more with es and the prisoners instead of es woth milgram.

"everything will stay vacant if this continues" i actually didn't want to add this but hey. what if the "this" is milgram. everything will stay empty if es chooses to continue along milgram. i hope you understood. also the scene fits as well. the scene is mini sunao looking at balloon headed people with one eye. it's similiar to how es' whole life is broadcasted worldwide til other people can see their immature and childish acts/behaviors.

↑ new lyrics: "at this rate, i'll keep being empty in this unfufilling city".

"i intentionally threw away my longing" "it makes me sigh" "in front of my blurred future" i don't really want to talk about the lyrics, i want to talk about the mv but wtv. they threw away their personal desires (autonomy and their free will) making their future inconsistent (blurred future). ok the mv. the mv scene shows sunao being led by mr creepypasta, since nobody can see mr creepypasta, sunao looks like he's holding onto nothing. it's similiar to how es talks to jackalope. since only es can hear jackalope, they look like they're talking to themselves. (pointed out by muu)

"honestly, i'm evil with a rotten soul. i wish for misfortunes to happen." es knows what they're doing "is sort of" wrong at some point iirc ("I get that this is painful for you, but I'm telling you my own thoughts.") and ("Yet I've been dealing with it this whole time! I've been desperately thinking about all of the prisoners, including you! So I don't think I was ever wrong. No matter what hell I make this place to be, I will not run away! I won't make someone else deal with it!") <not really but they do emphasize that they could make milgram a living hell. they also technically wish for "misfortunes" to happen via guilty verdicts although they're not the one that chooses ("Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here!").

"i even don't know about myself" "but i know my fate, riddled with misfortune, is at a dead end" *sunao sleepwalking (?) while holding mr creepypasta's hand* *sunao getting recorded live and people laughing at him* this fits so well i'm going insane. since es has weird habits (ex : mumbling to themselves alot, talking to nothing/themselves) that the prisoners can't understand, some of them just laughs at them and tell them they're weird (ex: muu). (the text on the phone filming: "♪ im rambling", 'ha?", "filming/recording something?", "dangerous wwwww", "seriously, stop filming and run away", "this guy's dangerous", "report")

"those pierced words that strike my heart" "they still haunt my memory" it fits one of the vds but i forgot which one (…This is bad for my heart. Stop it. Besides, that’s what I’d like to know as well…)

i didn't put this in bc of the image limit (on mobile rn) but i want to talk about the chorus lyrics too.

"from the depths of hell, i've been climbing up my whole life. but perhaps i can look at this ruined future and lay a flower of hope upon it's grave, even now i'm still praying. we're still connected, i saw this day in my dreams" guys this line is just so es coded idk how to word it. "i've been climbing up for my whole life" feels similiar to how es bears to keep on going with 10 troublesome prisoners ("Yet I've been dealing with it this whole time! I've been desperately thinking about all of the prisoners, including you!") and ("I am watching over ten troublesome prisoners, after all. Even if I don’t want to, I’m being relied on.").

the scene is just like what i said before, their childish actions/behaviors are broadcasted to the world (in this scene it's on a big screen). also es fighting their own instincitual/childish desires is so real, they force themselves to put that wardenly facade and repress their childishness. (also the 'pray' on top is interesting). not talking about the lyrics since it really isn't important for now.

ok this is where we talk about the ca theory. the reason es trusts milgram so much is maybe because milgram supposedly "saved" them from their abusive household. how would you know they have an abusive household? you can see by how they react to physical touch and other stuff ("Don’t touch me like we’re friends.") and ("Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It’s disgusting."). you can assume that they went through csa too. the fear of being touched and looked at does not come out of nowhere, it comes from previous traumatic events that made them uncomfortable with it. also, more stuff to add up to the csa theory ("It's a personal dislike of mine. People who acts based on their sexual urges like that, that is"). if we do use the ca theory, this whole scene fits so well. mr creepypasta literally saved sunao from his abuser.

for the last two scenes, no matter how hurt es is, they would still be focusing on milgram instead of themselves.

there's probably more things i want to talk about but i can't talk about it properly. anyways omg the new lyrics are so cool i love the way they gave effects on it.

i'm relatively new to eve lore so i probably made mistakes about these two characters (mr creepypasta and sunao) so im really just basing it off of the insomnia mv only. (i love mr creepypasta (for now)!!! (fun fact: i thought on one of the scenes, the hand was pouring boiling water on sunao was mr creepypasta and then i disliked them, i just realized after a few days that it's not them (and now i love them)) (i also really like sunao,,, the mipy ever (i dont know much about tobi but they're cool))

[huellitaa]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[elly99]

Ditto

Part 5 of 5. Check here for more details.

Something was different about her recently. Yes, your best friend was now a superstar. Yes, you weren't able to hang out as often, especially with a new release coming soon. But that wasn't it. You felt there was something more. Maybe it was something different about you.

You found yourself missing her. A lot more than usual. There was a certain emptiness you felt when she wasn't around. It was subtle at first, but now, it was all you could think about. She was all you could think about.

You recall the last time you saw each other. It was a few weeks ago, when she stopped by your place to rest with you and talk about her upcoming song Ditto. She couldn't talk about the lyrics just yet, but she told you that something about the song resonated with her and that she was excited to share it with you. Before she left that night, you swear there was something different about the way she hugged you goodbye. Or maybe it was something different about you. You remember not wanting to let go.

A notification on your phone pulls you out of your thoughts. It was a message from Mingki 🐻.

"Can I come over for a while? Gonna be really busy this month so just wanna spend some time with you. I bought you coffee!"

Your heart started racing. And you were starting to understand why.

"Of course, Min! What time were you thinking?"

"I'll be at our rooftop spot in 10."

Your heart continued racing. And it wasn't just because you were now scrambling to find a proper outfit to wear.

Having settled for just a t-shirt and jeans underneath your padded jacket, you waited for her on your favorite bench. You had shared a lot of memories with her here. It was sitting on this bench that she first told you she was going to debut. It was sitting here amongst the trees that you told her you made it into university. It was sitting here under the stars that you promised to always look out for each other and to never keep secrets.

"Bro, stop shaking your leg. You look like you're having a nervous breakdown or something."

You turn around to see her grinning at you and handing you your cup of iced coffee. But taking it from her did not immediately occur to you, because you could only process one thing: she looked gorgeous.

"Yo, are you good? Did I get you the wrong drink? This is your favorite, though..."

"No, no, it's perfect! Thanks, Min."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine! I just missed you. I'm happy to see you."

"Aww, I've missed you, too! That's why I'm here."

She sits beside you, leaning close for warmth. Your heart is still racing. And it wasn't just because of the caffeine.

"How have you been?"

"Mmm, busy. Very busy. And very tired," she sighs, then carefully leans her head on your shoulder. "I just wanna stay quiet for a while. Is that ok?"

"Of course," you reply, wondering if the drum inside your chest would be able to comply with her request.

Half an hour passes as you just silently enjoy each other's company. In that time you allow your thoughts to wander again. There was something different about her. Even in the winter air her presence had never felt warmer. In the golden light of the sunset she had never looked more beautiful. Sitting here with her now, closer than you'd ever been before, you felt it. You felt it in the now steady beating of your heart. Weeks of confusion culminating in this one moment of clarity. But you didn't know how to tell her.

So instead you ask, "Wanna listen to some music?"

Seeing her nod, you take out your phone and choose a song that would hopefully get your message across.

My mind is running circles, my heart's out in the rain I know that this is sudden, but Do you feel the same?

"I like this! Can you send me the link?"

"Yeah, of course."

When the song is over she checks her phone then turns to you.

"Hey, I'm sorry but I need to go."

You were suddenly gripped by fear. Did she understand what you were trying to say? Did you make her uncomfortable? Did she not feel the same? Seeing you frown at her sudden declaration, she immediately moves to hug you. The warmth of her embrace feels different. Hopeful. But maybe it was just you.

"I'm sorry! I know I didn't get to stay long. I just have a lot going on right now. I still appreciate you staying here with me, though. I really needed some peace and quiet... with you," she trails off.

"Yeah, it's no problem! I understand. I'm just going to miss you again," you chuckle, attempting to mask your disappointment.

"I'll miss you, too! But before I go I have something for you."

She reaches for a folded up piece of paper in her jacket pocket and places it in your hand. The unexpected contact gives you butterflies.

"It's about Ditto. We promised to not keep secrets, so here's everything I have about our new song. Keep it to yourself, of course! I'm trusting you. As always."

"You got nothing to worry about, Minji," you smile. "When will you be free again?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll come see you as soon as I can," she says reassuringly and hugs you again. "I promise."

As she gets up, the cold is suddenly overwhelming. You fight the urge to grab her hand and stop her from leaving.

"Read that carefully, ok? I would've talked about it now, but it was easier to express my thoughts in writing. Text me what you think."

"I'll read it before bed. Thanks, Min."

And as she walks away, you fight the urge to run after her and never let her go. To ask her how she felt. You just needed to know.

Maybe some other time.

You tell me that you're leaving, but I wish you would stay I think that this is worth it, but Do you feel the same?

Back all alone in your apartment later that night, you feel it again. The cold embrace of her absence and the uncomfortable company of your thoughts. Before you sleep you finally read the note, imagining the words in her voice, trying to feel her close again.

Hey,

I don't really know where to begin. I'm not good at things like this. But our latest song has had me thinking a lot recently. About you, actually. It goes:

My feelings for you Like the memories we share Have grown so big Summer's gone and it's autumn Been waiting all this time

I got no time to lose I had a long day I miss you I got nothing to lose I like you

I don't want to Stay in the middle Like you a littlе Don't want no riddle Say it, say it back, oh, say it ditto Can't wait 'til the morning, so say it ditto

I want you so, want you, so say it ditto

I don't want to keep hiding anymore. I can't keep hiding. And we promised never to keep secrets, right? So here's me saying that I like you. I'm always happiest when I'm with you. I've had feelings for you for some time now, but I only let myself feel them completely after singing this song.

We've known each other for so long, but I still can't be sure if you'll like me back. And I was scared at first about messing up our friendship, because it's one of the most precious things to me. But Ditto made me realize what it's like to have nothing to lose. It made me realize that liking someone is a beautiful thing. So here's my heart. I like you. I want you.

I hope we can still be friends if you don't feel the same. But if you do, it's going to be hard. We'll have to keep us a secret. And we did promise never to keep secrets, but I think it would be worth breaking that promise just this once.

Sleep well tonight. I'm sending bear hugs! If you want.

Love, Your Minji

Screw sleep. Screw texting her back. You grabbed your phone and called her up.

"Minji-yah..."

Ditto.

[savventeen]

hmm savv what would u do with mutual pining and woozi? :3c

daisy,,, beloved,,,,,,,,,, how dare you make me think about mutual pining w/ woozi ( /hj ) (i am already pining for him and thinking abt MUTUAL pining is going to drive me actually insane methinks g o d sdkjflskjdf)

ok so. SO. after vibrating in my seat and fantasizing abt lying down in the middle of the floor for the rest of time as i think about this concept, i have come to the following conclusion: mixtapes. and i mean in the classic "hey i made you this mixtape" sense

reader and jihoon are both producers for the same label and don't really interact that much at first. in fact, they don't actually even meet for the first time until soonyoung invites them both to his birthday party and they start talking shop, bonding over teasing soonyoung, and then ending the night with a promise to grab lunch together sometime.

fast forward a couple of months and they are officially Friends. they've managed to start a tradition of getting lunch together once a week and bitching about various work bullshit, and they've also started to hang out together in group settings after realizing they have more mutual friends as well

reader is the first one to send jihoon a song. it's a few hours after their weekly vent session, jihoon having taken up most of the time complaining about shitty higher-ups giving ridiculous deadlines and stuck-up idol wannabes trying to tell him how to do his job without having a clue about what his job actually is, and he gets a message from reader that says "i feel like this fits ur current mood" with a link to a song. [cw the song linked has a somewhat startling gun sound] he clicks on the link, curious, and then bursts out laughing after a few confused moments of listening bc that was NOT what he was expecting, at all

and that's how it starts, really. a few days later, he sends reader a song with the caption "how much u wanna bet soonyoung would choreograph something to this just bc it has the word 'tiger' in the title" / "no bet he absolutely would" / "ur no fun :P" / "sorry can't hear you i'm sending it to soonyoung as we speak"

pretty soon they're sending songs back and forth almost daily "what are ur thoughts on this" / "?? i don't speak french" / "and?" / "...ok yeah this is p good" "is this kinda close to the vibe you're trying to get for that one group you're working with?" / "not quite. but that's ok bc IM Vibin with this one" "i need u to stop whatever ur doing and listen to this with the bassist bass you can get with w/ ur setup" / "ok??" ... "holy shit" / "RIGHT?"

fast forward another couple of months, and reader shows up to jihoon's studio with a can of coke zero and a flash drive. "what's this?" / "this, my dear woozi-ssi, is going to be the solution to our creative blocks" and then reader goes on to explain their idea: they both have tracks that they're stuck on (personal, professional, or otherwise), and so they're gonna 'sisterhood of the traveling pants this shit' ('i literally have no idea what you're talking about'). aka: reader put some files they're having trouble with on this flash drive, and jihoon's gonna add any notes/ideas he has and then give it back with some of his own trouble files on it. rinse and repeat

and not only does it work ("ohmygod i've been trying to figure out that bridge transition for DAYS THANK YOU") but it also becomes Their Thing. like, they're used to collaborating with other writers/producers/etc bc it comes with the job, but something about this silly little flash drive... feels Special. [*cough*it's because they're catching Feelings*cough*]

tHIS IS GETTING SO LONG FUCK OKAY other things i would include in this fic: - one noticing the other has been working on a lot more love songs lately (or maybe a lot more Sad (read: pining) love songs) - reader has a bad day at some point and they end up losing the flash drive and they have a breakdown over it (jihoon comforts them and also helps them find it we love emotional hurt/comfort in this household) - scenes where they're individually waxing poetic about the other to different friends and the friends are like "bro. ur in love with them" "uh, no? they just have a great work ethic and a great taste in music also their lyricism is just—" "you. are. in. love." "i admire them professionally!

AND THEN THE CONCLUSION!! one of them decides to bite the metaphorical bullet and confess their Feelings. this could be either of them, but i'm gonna go with jihoon bc i can. so of course he can't just say "hey i love you" like a normal person, he has to confess through music. so he goes out and buys a new flash drive (with a really cute cover bc he knows they'd like it) and puts two folders on there. the first folder is full of instrumental files and is titled "all the times i couldn't find the words". and the second folder is titled "and all the times i could" and it's all love songs he's written inspired by/for reader

he sneaks into their studio and leaves the flash drive on your desk while you're in a meeting, and then he Waits and waits and waits some more until it's time to go home and it's been total radio silence and his heart feels like it's been crushed. so he starts to head home in the rain (bc i am a cheesy bastard and love rainy confession scenes) but after a few minutes of walking he hears shouting behind him and he turns to see you sprinting at him while screaming his name and before he can get a word out you're clutching his shoulders, soaked to the bone and asking "do you mean it? the songs, did— do you really mean it?"

and all he can do is nod because his heart still hasn't quite found its way back to his chest yet, and then he can't nod anymore because you're kissing him. you're kissing him, and he drops the umbrella he was holding and you're both kissing in the rain bc you're both obnoxious helpless romantics and "y/n-ah, i mean it— i mean it. i love you"

"i love you too, you stupid romantic bastard oh my god"

"hey, you're the one who started kissing me in the rain"

and it ends like the cheesy romcom this turned into bc i couldn't help myself and i need to lie down in a puddle of feelings now k thx

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[jessicas-pi]

DIRECTOR'S CUT ON COMMIT TO THE BIT but only like the first two chapters i am so far behind 😭

girl I wish I had been as productive as you think i've been 😭 there's only two chapters so far-

(But, hey, good news! Chapter three is verging ever closer to probably being done! And it's only taken me about... eight months... hahaha *dies on the inside*)

Anyway, i'll do what I did with the other ask and just go through it and talk about stuff!

Okay, so this fic was originally called "The Con" because it involved winning a lot more bets via subterfuge and holding hands. That changed and so I renamed it!

Oh yeah! And so, this fic was partly inspired by the song Summer Nights from Grease, where the guys and girls are enthusiastically listening to completely different stories of the same event. I flipped it around so they had completely different reactions to the same story and Sabine and Ezra were very UNenthusiastic and that was what the scenes with their friends were based on!

Aylan (the vostress kid) definitely heard some obitine stories from his dad and finds the parallels very amusing.

I know i've said it a few times before, but it always delights me to mention that the three Togruta sisters (Chisica, Am-lee, and Khenna) are based on me and my sisters.

OHHH fun fact! Originally the conversation where they split up the profits from the bet and the conversation where Sabine brought up fake-dating were two different conversations! The first one was as-is in the fic, but the other one happened like a week later when Sabine was hanging out in a tree coral with some of the girls and watching Ezra doing lightsaber forms and maybe drawing him shirtless a little bit and they hype her up to "ask him out again" and she goes over and interrupts him and they end up having the fake-dating idea conversation while he's not wearing a shirt and she's blatantly checking him out (and at one point actually half-reaches-out to touch his abs before she catches herself) and he's just "????" the whole time. It was funny, but I decided it was too early in the (fake) relationship for her to be so obvious about it, and I needed Fenn Rau to overhear the conversation and that was easier if they were on the Ghost, so I combined the scenes.

Oh also! Originally, both Vinn AND Tarik were gonna get kicked out of the friend group for being nasty but then I decided to make Tarik less nasty and give him a redemption arc.

ok, reading on, la de da...

The post-stargazing scene! So, I had to keep dialing things back because my shippy writer brain was moving their relationship ahead WAY faster than it was supposed to go. For example, in this scene, originally, they were going to share Sabine's bunk and definitely not cuddle or anything, it won't be weird at all, but again--just too soon. I made up for it with excessive cuddles in the end of the chapter & in chapter 2.

KATKA CAMEO!! Ok so for those who don't know---katka is an OC from my Teenage Rebellion AU. She's Gar Saxon's niece but she's utter sweetness (with a slight twist of crazy) and totally on board to stick it to the Empire. In the TRAU, she also has a massive raging crush on Ezra (albeit an Inquisitor iteration of him), so when I needed a random character to be envious of Sabine here, I figured I'd reuse her lol.

Oh yeah! Another condensed scene! Where she tells him about the Mandalorian ways of saying "I love you" and where she asks him to fake marry her used to be two different scenes! Like with the other one, I added the second one to the first. I went through a few versions of the fake-marriage-proposal, including one where Aylan came along with Ezra to Mandalore and was the one to suggest they tie the knot, apparently unaware it's all fake (but actually 100% aware it's all fake because his psychometry revealed it)

not to brag or anything but "Ezra did not regret fake-marrying into money" is one of my favorite lines i've ever written.

(btw, I still crack up when I remember that in your comment on chapter 1, you called Ezra a repressed victorian maiden for panicking over being able to see sabine's arms and legs. and I think everyone should know that You Are Right, Ezra Is A Repressed Victorian Maiden.)

OK ON TO CHAPTER 2!

i had so much fun with this chapter because they're both full to bursting with love for each other and neither of them will admit it until the last possible moment. I think that might actually be why Chapter 3 is taking so long--they're not hiding their feelings anymore so there's no more poetic internal monologues about how much they adore each other lol

Ah yeah on the topic of repressed feelings--the line "Kanan is fairly sure it’ll take at least five years and possibly a child for Sabine to admit that she’s actually in love with her husband" was supposed to actually be what happened. Sabine and Ezra were going to go on pretending the marriage was fake for years and finally one night when they were cuddled up, Sabine blurted out that she was in love with him and he was like "Yeah. I know." and she was like "wait what?? how did you know?? I was so subtle about my feelings!!" and he was like "Sabine, you kissed me good-night ten minutes ago. you're constantly calling me extremely romantic pet names in mando'a. we have two children and only one of them is adopted. your feelings are about as subtle as a paint bomb to the face." and she was just like "....oh." and then that was the end of the story! BUUUUT then I decided to do a love confession during the Lothal arc, and that led to the... surprise... at the end of chapter 2, which led to there needing to be a THIRD chapter!

OH HAHA OK MORE FUNNY STUFF. So the part with sabine's nightmare that leads to the "two besties chilling in a bathtub...?" scene was ALSO split up into two different events! I've been thinking about doing some edits of both chapters of CttB because I didn't really stop to edit either of them before posting (and a good chunk of chapter 2 was literally written the day before I posted it), which I mention because I was considering reverting the two scenes back to their original versions because the og tub scene was pretty funny. It's hard to describe in brief words, but basically... yeah it's too hard to describe, just take my word for it, it was pretty funny. (it involved Ezra singing along to We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with a shampoo bottle for a microphone and Tristan playing a petty revenge prank that goes sideways.)

The cut between Ezra worrying about Sabine being upset about his feelings for her and thinking "what would she think if she knew??", and sabine's pov opening with "Sabine can't stop thinking about kissing his stupid face" never fails to make me snicker.

Oh hey I just got to the thrawn pov and that reminds me. at one point I was thinking about having a scene including Ezra and Thrawn's conversation aboard the Chimaera and thrawn REAAAALLLY pushes his buttons about Sabine, using the information that he figured out about their marriage. Actually, if I do that edit, I might write that scene.

Poor Hera--she keeps unintentionally being responsible for all of the sabezra relationship development lol.

OOH SOMETHING ELSE! So, originally, the love confession was WAY different. First of all, it wasn't in their room--it was in one of the caves. Sabine still went looking for Ezra, but she found him by following a Loth-wolf. And he actually confessed his feelings first! In this version, he was afraid he was going to die and impulsively blurted out that he loved her. Then he got nervous and started rambling a little and she shut him up with a kiss. But I changed it--I wanted her to be the one to take the leap and 'fess up, and if I set it in her room, I could have the funny Ketsu scene afterwards.

And then True Love's Kiss woke someone else up! (aka kanan got yoinked out of his comatose state by telepathic TMI)

oh yeah and to anyone wondering, that "another dawn breaks" line from the Kanera scene was ABSOLUTELY a reference to A New Dawn.

Oh and that Ketsu scene---that was actually a scene I saved and reused after cutting it from a different WIP of mine! There were two variations--the one I ended up using, and one where she accidentally interrupts the very first kiss and they're both like "OH COME ON!" because they've been waiting for this moment FOREVER and like ten seconds in, it gets interrupted, and Ezra decides that, darn it, he's been waiting for this for so long, he's not going to wait any longer! and he just pulls Sabine right back into the kiss and uses the Force to shut the door in Ketsu's face. I did this version so that I could include dialogue!

I'm just now realizing that I actually skipped over the entirety of Family Reunion and Farewell, I went straight from Jedi Night to Happy-Ever-After. But in my defense, plot-relevant episodes don't matter much when it comes to crack fix-it fics.

And... I think that's all my thoughts I have on this! Thank you for the ask!! :)

*roll end credits*

[astroceans]

11.02.22

i dont know how to stop it. the thoughts the memories. i thought that maybe when you decided it would all stop. contrary, they wont stop. im stuck thinking about the last 6 months and the times i could of been better and done better. the times where i should of stayed quiet where i should have loved you more. theres no benefit in thinking it though. i know you've made up your mind. and when i called you out i didn't think you would leave. i thought you'd stay like you had before. i thought you would fight more or maybe even just try. but this time you didn't. you left, you moved on. and now i think where i went wrong and if i could just been different. that if maybe i wasn't so messed up you would of stayed. maybe if i was less sad less me you wouldn't leave. but its ok. i know she is kind and she is beautiful. she is loved and taken care of. she can love you. and i know you deserve who takes away all the lies and brings you hope, poetry, and most importantly coffee. if i could talk to her, i would tell her this. his birhtday is january 10. hes actually not a typical capricorn but that might be because his mother is a cancer. hes emotional. he is kind. he is thoughtful. his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. hes a great gift giver. he has the biggest heart. hes easily influenced. gym is his therapy. he loves his family especially his sister and his mom. hes actually a feminist. hes a clean person. his alcohol tolerance is suprsisngly high. he likes to party and have fun. but more importantly i think he likes to stay in and do nothing. his favorite color is blue but he looks great in orange. his favorite artist is j balvin. and his music taste is impeccable. hes cannot park if his life depended on it but hes a great driver. he has a sweet tooth and probably the reason he has so many cavities. his favorite sweet is donuts, coming in second gummies. his grandpa is his biggest inspiration. and like many people, he's been hurt too many times especially by me. he has the worst anxiety and overthinks too much. his best friend committed suicide and his cousin was close to. he needs reassurance and lots of love. overall, i think he's the only person who has fought for me and for our relationship something i couldn't understand and maybe why i can't let it go. 

i know you deserve more than i could ever give you. you deserve an easy love with someone who doesn't have so many layers to cut through. someone with less complications and more love to give. in fact someone who isn't afraid to be loved. i know my thoughts wont leave because i live with regret, i live with sadness. i know i'll have to live without you and live with the thought that i failed you. and more importantly that given the choice, you wouldn't choose me anymore. that i am no longer the girl you want to be with and the one you want to spend the rest of your life with . i am not the first thought in your mind and i am not the last one either. you have simply moved and found arms to come home to. and i am stuck being the sad story. the girl who cannot love and be loved. and maybe thats what kills me the most. you get to move on and i cannot even find myself talking to another person without crying. i cannot listen to music without breaking down. i cant eat without feeling guilty. that i've lost myself throughtout everything and it took you a week to move on. i'd like to ask you how you did it but i fear that when i hear your voice i would lose my breathe. i have no hope for life. and i find no pleasure in it. i live day by day hoping one day i feel less sad but its been a month and a half and i still can't listen to our song. i know its not your fault but how cannot it not be? when i told you this you didnt seem to care and you chose to move on. im so tired of crying and the sleepless nights. the calling out of work. the torturing myself at the gym. the breaking down every time i go out with my friends. you're the punchline to all my jokes and the topic of conversation when it comes to gossip. you're the theme of all my spotify playlists and the inspiration behind my new hair color. youre my excuse when my parents ask me why i can't be more active in church and the reason i dont text back any guy. the reason i've started smoking again. i dont want to love you anymore. but im sorry i love you.

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[kairithemang0]

Ok ok just a small rant

XEHAQUS???? I just... GAH I love them so so much.

When I first got into kh I wrote a 183 page Xehaqus fic that I never finished but they were my life for so long. And this was before Dark Road finished! I love them even more after dark road because oh my gosh they're so cute in that game. The graveyard scene???? It's a crime they didn't kiss. I wish they had better communication skills after what happens in dark road because it's a shame they became so distant. Like they went through so much together and the fact they didn't work through it together and instead went wildly different directions that lead them to hating each other hurts my soul.

I don't think Eraqus ever got over him though, and as much as Xehanort probably wanted to he probably never could.

Have any of you heard butterflies by leo? You should listen to it, I'll die on the hill that that is a Xehaqus song. Other than the first verse which doesn't fit with them too much I think it really is just so perfect for them.

I’m counting the seconds And waiting for you The sky sure looks pretty But you’re my favorite view

I’ll welcome the storm soon

But just for tonight

I’ll pretend that it’s still our room

I’ll pretend that you’re still mine

When will it feel okay

To know that you wouldn’t have stayed

Before mine flew away

I feel them

Please kill them

I’ll heal someday

I cried in the shower

‘Cause you’re not around

Quite funny how I’m still

The hot mess that you found

I know that they’re gone, dear

But picture my eyes

And tell me what happened

To your butterflies

Ok ok sorry but now this post is just me ranting about this song and these lyrics bcs I've thought about this for months. "The sky sure looks pretty, but you're my favorite view" I'd like to think that this would be Xehanort saying this, he does become obsesed with Kingdom Hearts after all, which is a moon in the sky. Although I do interpret most of the lyrics from Eraqus's POV, there are many I see from both or Xehanort's as well. "I’ll welcome the storm soon, but just for tonight I’ll pretend that it’s still our room , I’ll pretend that you’re still mine" a very Eraqus line personally. The storm could represent the events after dark road, and how Eraqus just wants to go back to the way things were before it all. "When will it feel okay to know that you wouldn’t have stayed before mine flew away" to me sounds like either of them could say it. After Dark Road they went on very very different paths, Eraqus going on the path to stay loyal to light while Xehanort walked a dark road (wow I'm funny) and became the person he ended up becoming. "I feel them, please kill them. I’ll heal someday" lets face it, they both still had feelings and died with said feelings. They never got over each other I'll die on this hill. They will never heal. "I cried in the shower ‘cause you’re not around. Quite funny how I’m still the hot mess that you found. I know that they’re gone, dear, but picture my eyes and tell me what happened to your butterflies." This is an Eraqus line to me, I've always pictured their fight in dark road as the final lyric. Just Eraqus wondering how Xehanort changed and how he wonders what happened to his feelings, his butterflies. The first part of it definitely could have been how Eraqus felt in the days following it.

WOW ok rant over, that was in fact not a "small rant". I love Xehaqus, they're my kh OTP (although I do love Akusai and Soriku, these 2 will be on top forever). I made a playlist for them and have written a decent amount for them, they just make me happy. I'm sorry to the people who went into this thinking it wouldn't be me ranting about a silly song I like and also one of my favorite ships.

[deadsnothere]

I've never requested anything before so sorry of this is in the wrong spot.

If you're still taking requests could you do one with Cynthia and popular girl? Kind of 'Little Miss Perfect' thing

Little miss perfect.

Synopsis - After agreeing to fake date potato, Alias runs into a little bit of trouble with their manager and Cynthia gets wedged into the equation, from a fallen jacket.

WARNINGS!! - MENTIONS AN ABUSIVE ADULT CHILD RELATIONSHIP (Alias & her Manager)

Request - YES!!

Word count - 1.8k

Speak Ali! - Got motivation randomly.

…This feels wrong- this feels so wrong- but here i am!

My name is Alias Foreman.

My brother is Shy guy, he's on a very different popularity level than me but he's also one of my favorite people. He's a part of a ‘gang’ called the T-Birds, their affiliated with the girl gang The Pink Ladies.

And i would never ever say this to any of my friends, but i absolutely adore them. I mean Jane was bold enough to run for president after being humiliated by the people i call friends! And Olivia is amazing, she's just got her head stuck in the wrong place. Nancy is bold, she's talented and amazing! and the prettiest in my opinion, Cynthia. I know it's hard to believe- I mean my brother has a crush on her! but she's just so…Magnetic! She's funny and cute, and reckless, and downright rude, sometimes...but i'm just so pulled towards her!

I adore all of them, but I act like I don't so my parents won't suspect anything…I've been "popular" and "smart" and "perfect" since grade school. If I mess that up now I'm screwed. Which is why I needed a cover, and I knew just the person.

----

“Potato! Can we talk before you leave?” The pink ladies, and T-Birds sat in the same car, obviously all stuffed in as the car is way too small to hold them all. They all stared at me like, I was a threat to their name or something. It made me want to crawl up and die. “Uh- What do you need?” I smiled softly trying to keep a smile on my face as I got glare’s all over. “Uh can we talk inside?-” I pointed to the front door, opening it up for him as he jumped out of the car, almost everyone groaning, realizing their going to have to wait longer now.

“Alias this is really unlike you- what's up?” Patato, who was clearly confused, looked at me like I was crazy. I was looking down at my feet and trying to pull all my thoughts together- “You like Nancy, And- I-I like Cynthia.” When I spoke I immediately closed my eyes, only opening them a bit, to look at his face. Which looked more shocked, than anything. “Y-You know I like Nancy!-” I opened both eyes and looked at him confused. “You're not surprised I like Cynthia?” Now he looked at me, confused. “Not really, Me and the T-Birds have been making jokes about it for years-” My face dropped a bit, before he explained himself. “Not! not because your gay or anything but because both you and your brother like her!-” My face turned into a smile again, laughing. I jumped to hug him. “Oh my god- Ok wait, so now that we both have that established- Do you want to fake date to get their attention?”

He hugged me back for a moment, pulling away as soon as I suggested the fake dating. “Your crazy!-” i interrupted him almost immediately. “But just think! Nancy is going to notice you! Someone will have what she wants- and I'll be able to hang around you guys more- and maybe you can get the gangs to listen to my songs when i perform at the frosty palace, I can send Cynthia messages through them!-” I'd be lying if i said i didn't have this planned out for a while, Like months.

He still looked unsure. “What about your brother?-” I sighed softly, looking out to see if anyone was looking from the car. “I love him, and he's the only one who's truly there for me, but look at cynthia. She is not straight- She is a circle amongst circles.” Potato nodded, solemnly. An idea popped into his head. “Get your coat! You're coming with us-'' My eyes widened in shock. “I can't- I have to perform at the frosty palace!-” Potato thought for a second before grabbing my coat off the rack and putting it on my shoulders, dragging me out holding my hand. “Guys! We're going to the frosty palace instead!”

I could feel them staring at us, feel them stare at me. “Uh- Hi?” A few of them rolled their eyes but either way I somehow got into the car and sat down in between my brother and Potato, who has his arm around me. Nancy was glaring at me, Cynthia and Ant (Shy guy) were glaring at Potato.

Once we arrived at the frosty palace, I could hear someone screaming from the inside. “ALIAS BETTER BE HERE-” Oooh fuck- My eyes widened as i jumped out of the car, grabbing my jacket, Potato grabbed my arm before i could run off. The only one who looked worried was Shy guy, but that's also because Shy guy knew what happened behind that stage. “Alias what's wrong?-” I smiled and patted his hand, acting like i wasn't going to get slapped and punched as soon as i got backstage, i was supposed to be there at 8:00 it's currently 8:02 and my manager is going to be pissed. “It's nothing! My manager just gets a little rowdy sometimes-” Nancy looked over to me with her eyebrows furrowed- “Sometimes? I've seen that women get so pissed-" - “Anyways! I gotta go before I get any later- Bye everyone, thanks for the ride!”

I ran into the frosty palace as fast as my flats would allow me to. As soon as I got backstage, I threw down my stuff on a vanity set there for the performers to get ready. Taking note of my missing jacket which I swear, I grabbed.

“MS.FOREMAN.” Oh shit. I quickly tried to get myself together, grabbing my bag and holding it close to me. “Do you understand how horrible you being late looks to us? Do you really think anyone is going to sign with you if you continue this laziness, you inconsiderate slut!” I stood there, I could feel my body trying to shake as she stood in front of me. I clenched my entire body, stopping the shaking before it could get bad.

“You’re such a brat!”

One.

“I do all of this for you and you come in late!”

Two.

“Other clients have never shown me such laziness.”

Three.

“I could quit- right now! and everyone would believe it's your fault.”

Four.

Two slaps on each cheeks.

I stayed quiet, not showing any weakness. She just laughed and scoffed at me. “Cant even have to decency to show some remorse.” Once she walked away, I sat down at the Vanity. Taking makeup out of my purse and starting to cover the redness is my cheeks.

“You shouldn't let her do that to you.” “OH MY GOD-” i jumped, almost falling out of my seat as Cynthia came out from behind the curtain I usually pulled back to change. “It's- Fine..What are you doing back here? only staff is allowed back here-” She scoffed leaning into the wall beside my vanity as i went back to covering my cheeks with powder. “You dropped your coat, your boyfriend told me to bring it to you.” I grabbed my jacket from her, our hands touched as she passed it over.

She didn't move from her spot as I continued to finish my makeup, inspecting my face. “Tell someone.” I stopped and looked up at her. “What?” She looked at me like I was stupid. “Tell someone what she's doing-” I stood up from my stool and went to her face to face, even if she's a few inches shorter than me. “I can’t- You don't understand-” She interrupted me. “Yes I do! Stand up to her, Stop it!” I rolled my eyes and started to put my makeup away. “No you don't Cynthia. I've been dealing with her since I was five- I told my father! I'm not sure how perfect Anthony has set our home life up to be, but I promise you it's not.” Cynthia looked at me, shocked. “Shy guy hasn't said anything about your home life..”

���Well good- If my home life got to the school I'd be ruined- i’d be killed socially-” Cynthia scoffed and laughed sarcastically. “Come on? Is that all you're worried about- Your social level, shallow Alias.” I rolled my eyes, I could feel anger bubbling up in my stomach, or its butterflies-..I can't tell. “No- it's not all i'm worried about, if it got out to the school i have to take care of four children by myself while my dad gets drunk all the time, I’d be fucked because they would call CPS.” I rolled my eyes again, closing my purse. A stage manager opened the door slightly, not looking up from her clipboard. “Foreman you're on in 10!” I waved at them, with a smile watching as they walked out with no other words.

Cynthia didn't say anything, she wasn't sure what to say. “Listen, that isn't even what we're talking about-! You shouldn't put yourself through that!” I leaned onto the vanity, my head rocking back as I sighed, my eyes closing. “I've tried to tell my dad, he just laughed in my face and told me I probably deserved it.” Cynthia looked around, trying to figure out another way for me to get out. “Listen- I have a contract with her I can't defy.” I finally stood up again once the same stage manager came in, still focused on her clipboard. “I was wrong that last time- Five til!” Watching her leave, I sighed and shook my head fixing my hair softly.

“Listen Cynthia, I’m stuck. I don't know what else you want out of me.” She now stood in front of me, blocking my way to the door. “Just!- You have to look out for yourself to-” I rolled my eyes, trying to get a way out. “I have four kids to look out for, there's no time for myself.” She blocked my way cornering me at my vanity.

I kissed her. My hands slipped! They slipped onto her face as I leaned down to kiss her. Ok so maybe it was stupid decision- but there was so much in me screaming at me to kiss her, and i just had to give in. I had to. It felt amazing for the few seconds she kissed back, but she almost immediately pulled away. When we were both staring at each other, neither was sure what to say. I panicked when her face twisted into some feeling. I couldn't tell what it was but- I was so sure it was disgust. “I-I…I’m so sorry- I have to go!” I was quick to grab a pair of gloves from behind me and run away from her as she tried to grab my arm. I ran into the stage director on the way, telling me I had seconds until I had to be on stage.

The stage and the heat of the lights around me felt comforting for the first time in years.

[starlene]

"Keep them coming"? Ok! 1, 3, 6, 33, 48, 31!

More! More! More! Thanks!

1. How did you first get into musical theatre?

Answered.

3. What is the newest musical you love?

Änglagård (2023). I admit it's a bit of a weird relationship I have with this show – I think there's so much wrong with it, especially when it comes to dramaturgy, and that feels very frustrating to me. But I'm also seeing it for the third time next week, can't wait, and listen to the cast recording all the time.

...though I guess that's more or less my relationship with Jekyll & Hyde too, so maybe it's actually exactly on brand of me to love Änglagård. I can't stop myself from enjoying these problem shows.

6. Who is your favourite musical theatre director?

Answered, but let's talk about a close second.

Tuomas Parkkinen. Of course. When you direct a production of Jekyll & Hyde that worms its way directly into my brain, takes over a large chunk of it for over a decade, and absolutely refuses to leave, you're a forever favourite, no matter what you do afterwards. And that's not to say he hasn't directed other musical productions that I've enjoyed, too – at his best, he has a mischievous (sometimes to the point of bordering chaotic energy) but at the same time extremely well thought out vibe that I really like! Case in point: Evita (2020), gone too soon but never forgotten.

About that Så som i himmelen, though... I've been throwing so much shade on it, I can't not mention it here. Of course, since I refused to actually go and see it based on everything I heard about it, I don't think it'd be quite fair of me to hold it against him. But oh man. Let's just say he apparently sees my favourite musical from a perspective I can't even begin to understand, and probably vice versa.

33. Talk about a performance in a role that you can't forget.

I still think about Morgan Alling as Harold Zidler daily. Just spin him around in my brain. He was perfect in a way I don't really have words for, he just made me like the character so much, I wanted to watch him all the time and lift him from the stage and put him in my pocket so I could put him on my bookshelf back home and always keep him?? Just so enjoyable to watch every second he was onstage. I loved him. I want him back.

48. What's the worst musical you've ever seen? What made it so bad?

The Prince of Egypt was such a thorough downgrade of every aspect of the source material that I doubt... well, I hope no other musical will ever be able to let me down like that.

Maybe, had I seen it without any prior knowledge of the movie and the story of Moses and whatever, it wouldn't be the absolute worst I've seen – it did have some nice choreography, and the original songs will always be bangers, even when butchered like some of them were – but when compared to the movie and my sky-high expectations, and then the fact that we went all the way to Denmark to see it... for me, it really doesn't get any worse than that.

31. Is there a musical that means a lot to you that isn't one of your favourites? What made you feel that way about it?

Cats. I don't think I would be the person I am today without it, really, but I also don't consider myself a fan. I had an intense three-month relationship with it back in the day, and that was it, pretty much.

Ask me some musical theatre questions for old and cynical musical theatre fans