#live on st@ge

[r4fe-cam3ron]

⋆˙⟡ PASTEL DYED EGGS. | e. munson x reader.

w; does not follow st timeline! eddie has a sister named georgia in this universe — truck driver!eddie au!, daddy issues man lol, greyson has selective mutism, allan is not so nice to his grandson. an; happy (late) easter to everyone who celebrates it! to anyone who doesn’t, i still hope your day was wonderful! i’ve missed truck driver!dad eddie so …. it was only fair i wrote this. plus i haven’t written an actual full length story in a while 💔 i hope you all enjoy this. mwah.

Eddie’s kicking the dirt off his boots before he steps inside, blowing the last bit of smoke to the side. Unlocking the door, he steps into the fresh lemon smell that you tend to always use when cleaning. 

Smiling to himself, he hangs up the keys and his jacket on the hook you had made him hammer into the wall. He locks the door back quickly, dropping his bag down before glancing around the quiet living room. 

Working a shift at the garage, then going to school didn’t give him much time for you or Greyson, a small bit of guilt settling deep into his chest. He was tired, his feet ached, and his eyes were aching. 

Yet, he made his way over, opening the refrigerator, grabbing the egg carton, milk, bacon, and canned biscuits. He’s not the best at cooking, but he’d try. For you. For Greyson. 

There’s a clatter that makes you jolt awake, eyes quickly opening as you lift up onto your elbows, staring at the door. Turning your head quickly, you notice Greyson’s small body close to you — he must’ve snuck in sometime after you’d fallen asleep. 

Smiling, you lean over and press a gentle kiss to his temple before slowly standing from your side and quietly making your way down the hall. You watch as Eddie’s arm quickly lifts, shaking out his hand as he curses under his breath. 

Smirking, you tilt your head. “That’s a quarter in the swear jar,” You watch as he jumps, feet lifting in the air slightly as he spins around. Laughing softly, you push yourself off the wall and make your way towards Eddie, ready to give him a kiss. “Sorry. I missed you.” 

“Sure you did,” He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips before pulling away. “I, uh, I was tryin’ to make breakfast. I don’t know how well it’s going but…” His brown eyes pan over towards the bacon searing in the pan. You let out another soft laugh, patting at his chest as you grab the tongs from his hand. 

“You did good, babe. Go shower,” You step in front of the stove, flipping the bacon as you reach towards the knob, quickly turning down the heat. “Don’t forget we have to go over to Wayne’s today. They’re doing a small egg hunt around their block.” 

Eddie groans — the heels of his palms digging into his eyes as he rubs roughly. “You remembered that?” You give him a look over your shoulder. 

“Eddie, we need to go. We haven’t seen Wayne since…what, Christmas? New Years? Plus, Greyson needs to make some friends. This might be a good way for him to do so.” You shrug, pulling open a cabinet to pull a metal bowl from the inside. 

Eddie sighs and allows his shoulders to sag. Nodding, he doesn’t fight you — it’s no use. You’re right, and even if you weren’t, he’d still give in. “Alright, you’re right—”

“I know.” You hum. 

Rolling his eyes, he presses a kiss to the back of your head. “But we leave as soon as he finds his eggs. I’m talkin’ when they call it and he drops the last one inside his basket,” His hands begin to animate. Greyson steps into the kitchen at this time, Eddie’s hands quickly grabbing him. “Then I’m picking him up like this and we leave. I’m not joking.” 

“Somehow, I believe that you're not joking. But I’m not letting that happen,” You let out a small snort as you shake your head. Walking closer, you poke at Greyson’s cheek. “Did you sneak into our room last night, mister?” 

He nods, looking slightly bashful. Smiling, you shake your head. “That’s fine. I don’t mind,” You grab Greyson from Eddie’s arms. “Now go. You stink and after breakfast we need to start getting ready.” 

“You wound me.” 

Turning your head towards Greyson, you groan softly. “You’re getting too long for me to carry,” You turn and carry him anyway. He’s your baby. He’ll always be your baby. “Wanna watch The Muppets while I finish up breakfast?” You place him on the couch. He nods again, reaching for his blanket that was on the other end of the couch. 

You grab the remote from the table, turning towards the television. You flip through a couple of channels before finally landing on a Muppet movie. Passing by, you unlock the window, pushing it open. 

It’s a nice breezy day �� soft, warm air blows inside. The sun was bright, beating down on the grass and through the trees. The smell of honeysuckles have you humming slightly and you can distantly hear the sound of a lawnmower start up. 

Smiling, you make your way back into the kitchen, cursing as the smell of burnt bacon invades your nose. “Great,” Dumping it, you sigh and glare at the jar as you make your way over to your purse. Grabbing two quarters from inside, you drop them inside. 

Greyson watches from the couch, a grin stretched over his face. 

—

Eddie’s wearing a stupid button up shirt with a tie — a pastel blue with different colored eggs. You’d fawned over him, telling him how handsome he looked but he knows he looks like a walking idiot. 

He guesses it’s worth wearing it, especially when he’s seen your smile when he stepped out of the bathroom. Greyson has a patching tie and shirt, his hair gelled to the side. You’re wearing a blue dress to match the tie. 

Though, seeing Wayne’s grin and the stares from others, he wanted to dig himself into a hole. Eddie doesn’t really enjoy being the center of attention anymore — less animated, less focused on causing a ruckus. 

You’re standing off to the side, a camera in your hand as you squat and snap a couple of photos of Greyson, a smile on your face as you watch him. It’s weak, something else behind the meaning of it. Eddie watches as he stands close to Wayne, a small frown on his face as his eyes flicker back and forth between the both of you. 

Greyson is near a group of kids that are huddled together before they suddenly break apart. “Tag!” Then small, sticky fingered children scatter every which way. Greyson looks around before his little legs begin to take off. You stand quickly, a frown quickly replacing. 

Eddie makes his way over quickly, a hand reaching for your forearm. You don’t pull your eyes away from Greyson. “Hey, what’s wrong?” You don’t do or say anything for a moment — no shake of your head, no movement, no speaking, just watching. Eddie’s eyes drift back and forth once again, thumb softly trailing against your skin. He says your name. 

“I…Nothing. I just…” Your words falter for a moment. “I’m worried about him,” There’s a small quiver to your words and you finally look over at him. 

“I know he’s smart. I know…I know he’s capable of doing things that other kids can do. I don’t want something happening to him though — if it does, it’s my fault,” You shake your head. “It’s my fault because I’m pushing him to make friends. He can’t…he wouldn’t tell me if something happens.” 

Eddie’s frown deepens, tracing an arm towards your shoulder and pulling you closer. “Hey, you’re doing what you think is right, okay? Parenting isn’t easy, sadly,” He watches as the corner of your lip lifts slightly. Small, but it’s a small win. “But you? God, you are the best. I don’t know how you do it, but you are. Whatever you think is the best for him, I won’t question it. No matter what.” 

Nodding, Eddie quickly lifts his hand and wipes at the tear that had dropped. “Sorry. I don’t know why I just…” You shake your head, eyes cutting over to Greyson running behind a tree. 

“Don’t apologize,” Eddie quickly cuts you off. “You have every right to worry. I worry too. I just hide it better than you do,” He smirks. Scoffing softly, your forehead brushes against his chest when he pulls you even closer. 

“C’mon. Wayne was wondering where you were.” Nodding, you allow Eddie to pull you towards Wayne and Marie. 

And Allan. 

Eddie stumbles slightly when he sees him — a golden band gleams in the sun, another woman sitting next to him, her manicured hands smearing sunscreen over a child’s face. His laugh is still raspy, a bit gritty around the edges. 

Suddenly, the man who he was sure he’d never see again, looks at him and it's almost like looking into a mirror. Gripping at his arm softly, you watch as Allan stands, arms stretched wide as he makes his way over. 

He’s clean shaven, smelled of some sort of cheap cologne. “Son! How are you?” Eddie stumbles over his feet as Allan’s tattooed hands wrap around his shoulders, yanking him over. Eddie never understood why he would freeze when seeing his father. He doesn’t think he’d ever understand why. 

He pulls away and glances at you, pulling you into a shocking hug. “How are you, honey?” He asks, patting at your shoulder as he steps away. 

“What are you doing here?” Eddie finally finds his voice. His eyes glance at the kid once more, a twisting feeling in his gut as he watches him. 

“Wayne invited us,” He pointed over his shoulder. Wayne looks down into his cup when Eddie’s eyes quickly look at him. “And…I thought you’d wanna meet Lucy and Morgan.” 

Narrowing his eyes, he looks at Allan once again, shaking his head. “And why would I want to? You’re just going to leave her when you’re bored — like you always do.” 

“Watch that mouth,” His voice dropped dangerously low. Eddie’s mouth quirks into a smirk. There he is. The Wayne he always knew. “You will not use that tone on me.” 

“I’m not a kid anymore, Al. Let alone, yours.” 

Opening his mouth, he’s cut off by the squealing of children running towards their parents. Greyson’s hair is all disheveled now, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. Eddie watches, a small pull at his heart as he squats to his level. 

“You have fun?” Greyson nods as he leans into your side. He’s tired, slightly swaying. Letting out a small laugh, you pick him up without hesitation. Your words from this morning — you’re getting too long for me to carry — still holding no weight. Allan stares at Greyson for a moment, pinching his brows together when he’s yet to answer. 

“What, cat got your tongue?” Allan stares at Greyson. His small fingers find the fabric of your dress suddenly, gripping. Eddie quickly looks at him, narrowing his eyes. 

Eddie’s patience is being thinned by the moment, but the sound of children laughing and parents mulling around, he’s trying his hardest to keep his cool. Taking a few deep breaths and placing a hand on your back, he pulls his attention away from the man and looks at you instead. “You ready to go home?” 

Nodding, you open your mouth to speak but Allan is laughing — a cackling laugh that has both you and Eddie looking at him with a surprised look. This isn’t going to go over well — not without something breaking out into an argument. Or worse.  

“What are you laughing about?” You don’t bite your tongue any longer, the anger bubbling under your skin. 

“Both of you are at fault for this,” He motions towards Greyson. “You’re indulging him. Not teaching him any manners or how to toughen up. He’s gonna think the world needs to cater to him — make them think they owe him patience.” 

Eddie’s teeth were grinding so hard, he could hear the sound. Your eyes are wide as you stare at him — an older man speaking about his grandson in a manner that was truly unsettling. 

“Eddie.” You mutter. You’re ready to leave. Eddie wants to break something over his head. 

Palms spreading against Allan’s chest, he pushes him back slightly. “Do not speak about him that way. Not now. Not ever. You have no right,” Eddie pushes past him, hand hovering over your back as he follows behind. He grabs the basket from the table, eyes glancing at Wayne. “Next time you invite him, don’t invite us.” 

“Eddie—” Wayne starts, but Eddie shakes his head, grabbing your purse as well. 

“Hopefully your brother won’t end up like you or your sister,” Allan makes his way back over towards the table. “A bunch of weak minded people — teaching your son to be the same way.” 

Eddie stops and glances back at Allan, eyes narrowing slightly. “Brother?” 

Allan hums, finger pointing over towards the small boy who has blue and pink icing over his cheeks and around the corner of his mouth. “Brent. Seven years old now.” 

Eddie stares at him, everything around him going silent — the laughs, the conversations, the kid that had started crying, silent. He blinks, the sudden feeling of being lightheaded pours over him in a cold sweat, a small nod as his eyes slowly drift towards Wayne again. 

Wayne looks guilty, face soft as his mouth opens to speak. Eddie shakes his head, turning slowly as he walks off. There’s nothing he could say, he couldn’t think of anything. Even if he could, his mouth is dry, and it feels as if he’d swallowed barbed wire and it balled up in his throat, pausing its journey down his throat. 

His palms are sweaty when he makes it to the car, getting inside where you and Greyson were already waiting. You glance at him, worry instantly drowning out any anger you still feel from Allan. He looks pale, sweat collecting along his fringe. “Honey?” 

His eyes are staring at the car parked in front, but his mind is distant. His eyes slowly blink, the burning he feels makes his nose tingle as he clears his throat. Your arm reaches out, placing your hand gently on his arm. 

His eyes open as his head shakes, looking over at you. A small smile pulls at his lip, chin quivering slightly. “I’m…” His voice cracks, words low as he tries to swallow down the tears. Clearing his throat once again, he nods. “I’m okay,” His voice is louder this time. He wants you to believe it. 

He wants to believe it. 

He turns to look at Greyson who stares at him from his booster seat. His arm reaches back, gripping at his foot as he shakes his leg slightly. “I love you, bud. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, alright?” Greyson gives a small nod, eyes still slightly dimmed of their usual light, small fingers fidgeting. “Want to stop and get some ice cream at the store? Go home and watch a movie?” 

That perks him up slightly, eyes lifting as he nods more this time, a small smile pulling at his lips. Eddie nods and shakes his foot one last time before turning in his seat, starting up the car as he drives out of the neighborhood. 

—

Changed into matching pajamas — even if they’re for Christmas, that’s what Greyson wanted, Vanilla ice cream with caramel drizzled over the top that Eddie insisted on doing (he just wanted to give extra to everyone), and some movie playing on the television, it’s an Easter Eddie would choose multiple times. 

The bunny from Greyson’s Easter basket this morning sits on his lap as he carefully eats the ice cream, Eddie glances over to the kitchen when the phone rings. 

“Want me to get it?” You look over at him. Shaking his head, he stands and grabs his bowl and yours, making his way towards the kitchen. 

He places them into the sink, wiping off his hands before answering. “Hello?” 

“Hey,” Eddie’s brows lift slightly when he hears Georgia’s voice. “You okay?” 

He pauses, pursing his lips as he stares into the living room and watches as you giggle quietly at something on the television. “Did Wayne call you?” She’s silent and he hums slightly. “I’m fine. I just…need to cool off before talking to Wayne.” 

“I understand. How’s Greyson? Is he okay?” Being followed around by Allan’s voice as they grew — the cruel way he’d criticize both children, they knew how much his words could burn and stick. 

“I think so. We stopped at the store and grabbed some ice cream. Now we’re wearing matching Christmas pajamas and watching some movie on television.” 

“Sounds like a fun Easter.” He could tell she was smiling. Eddie doesn’t remember many Easter’s from his childhood, but he knows Georgia does. He wonders if she’s okay. 

“You should come visit us.” 

“I will. Work is understaffed at the moment though, so I can’t call off. Ben is looking into hiring some people though,” She says. “So, hopefully I’ll be able to come see you all soon. I miss you guys.” 

“We miss you, Georgia.” 

She hums softly, silent a moment before finally speaking again. “I love you guys too. I’ll see you soon.” 

“We love you. Happy Easter.” 

“Happy Easter.” 

The line goes deep and Eddie sighs as he drops the phone back onto the receiver, making his way back over. He plops back into his spot. Greyson crawls into your lap as you turn and put your legs up onto Eddie’s lap. 

Smiling, one of his hands curls around your ankle before he lifts his own feet to rest on the coffee table. Dropping his other arm behind the couch, he glances over at you and Greyson, smiling softly. Your hand pulls the cover up over Greyson’s shoulder a bit more before softly rubbing at his back. 

You turn your head, pressing a kiss to Greyson’s forehead before looking at Eddie. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” He nods. “It was Georgia.” 

You nod. “Is she okay?”. 

“Mhm. She said she’s gonna try to come visit us soon when they’re not so understaffed,” His thumb rubs small circles over the skin of your leg. “Other than that, she’s okay I think. Wayne called her and told her what happened.” 

You nod slightly. “I’m sorry about today. I should’ve just listened when—”

“Hey,” His voice is soft, yet firm, cutting off your unnecessary apology. “I get why you wanted to go. Don’t apologize, we didn’t know Allan was going to be there. I know you wouldn’t have made me go if he was,” 

Nodding slightly, you smile a bit at him. “I love you.” 

“I love you.” 

He nods and scoots down more in his seat, his hand that rests on the back of the couch drops now, grabbing your free hand, intertwining your fingers together. 

“Eddie,” He hums softly, glancing over at you. “Happy Easter.” 

His lips pull into a soft smile, a quiet huff leaving his parted lips as he nods. “Happy Easter, sweetheart.” He whispers. 

⋆˙⟡ thank you for reading! comments, reblogs, & feedback is always welcomed and appreciated!

⋆˙⟡ tags; @ali-r3n — @jeangeniex

[sea-owl]

I personally want to see jealous Colin because I think it be funny with how dramatic the Bridgertons can be. Particularly, I want jealous Colin in this specific scene.

The scene I'm talking about is when Colin stalks follows Penelope to St Bride's church. As he's following her he notices that they are traveling in the direction towards his bachelor lodgings.

After they rolled along for a few minutes, He poked his head outside to make sure his driver had not lost sight of Penelope's carriage. There she was, right in front of him. Or at least he thought it was her. Most hired hacks looked the same, so ge was going to have to trust and hope that he was following the right one. But as he looked out, he realized they would have a much further east than he would have anticipated. In fact, they were just now passing Soho Street, which meant they were nearly to Tottenham Court Road, which meant-

Dear God, was Penelope taking the carriage to his house?

Bedford square was practically right around the corner.

A delicious thrill shot up his spine, because he couldn't imagine what she was doing in this part of town if not to see him; who else would a woman like Penelope know Bloomsbury? He couldn't imagine that her mother allowed her to associate with people actually worked for a living, and Colin's neighbors, though certainly well enough born, we're not of the aristocracy and rarely even of the gentry. And they all plodded off to work each day, doctoring and lawyering, or-

Colin frowned, Hard. They just rolled past Tottenham Court Road. What the devil was she doing this far east? He supposed her driver might not know his way around town very well and thought to take Bloomsbury Street up to Bedford Square, even though it was a bit out of the way, but-

He heard something very strange and realized it was the sound of his teeth grinding together. They just passed Bloomsbury Street and presently veering onto High Holborn.

Devil take it, they were nearly in the City? What in God's name was Penelope planning to do in the city?

First of all Colin, how would Penelope know where you lived? Is your siblings giving out your address? Because I know you didn't tell her outside of saying you were residing in Bloomsbury. Second of all that's inappropriate for her to do so good sir and you know better. Yes she's a spinsterr now, but she's still a lady and even you commented earlier how she shouldn't be leaving her house without someone with her. This man just wants the, unknown to him, love of his life by his side and does not care about the social implications. It's so funny too when he gets all pouty when he realizes that she wasn't coming to see him. Again Colin how would Penelope know your address?

And then when they're in the church and fighting for Penelope's letter.

"Colin," she whispered."Please . . . don't."

She's seen his secret writings. Why shouldn't he see her's? Did she have a lover? Was all that nonsense aboutnever having been kissed exactly that-nonsense?

Dear God was this fire burning in his belly . . . jealousy?

"Colin," she said again, choking now. She placed her hand on his, trying to prevent him from opening the envelope. Not with a strength for she could never match him on that, just with her presence.

But there was no way . . . no way could have stopped himself. He would have died before surrounding that enveloped her unopened.

Dramatic ass Bridgertons always do things the most dramatic way possible. This man was ready to fight Penelope's lover that he made up in his head. I want to see how dramatic Colin can get now that he has a face to put the lover status for Penelope. He's going to lose his mind.

[writingoddess1125]

You Get Buggy a Corgi

Cute Headcanon

Pure Fluff

◇ Bonus has some mild sadness

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• Buggy has always wanted a Corgi- He's never talked about it but you did see he has a Corgi shaped pillow in his room that he's apparently had since he was a child-

• So you decide to get him one as a gift for his birthday.

• He always had big birthday bashes and it was the biggest party imaginable- The whole crew with more alcohol and food then a gods banquet while Buggy sat in the center jovial and proud.

• You walk over with a box in hand and carefully set it down infront of him, He raises a brow at the lack of flashy decoration on the brown box and pops open the lid with a unamused expression

• There a little head pops up and everyone stares at the happy Corgi face looking st Buggy and the blue bow around its neck

• His whole face flushes as you can quite literally see the childlike joy shine in his eyes- A bright smile on his face as he sets the puppy in his lap.

• "Her name is Guppy" You say as he mumbles the name and glances up at you. "She's mine?"

• "Yep! She's fully trained and apparently does really well on ships from what the shelter said" You say softly, but you're sure he isn't even paying attention to you as the dog seems to instantly love Buggy and scales him with her little body to press her face against his. You can quite literally see his heart melt.

• Clearly Guppy is his favorite gift ever since he doesn't pay attention to anything else accept for Guppy the rest of the night.

• You also get a special reward for bringing a wonderful gift.

• Guppy is absolutely a velcro dog- Loving to be at Buggys side 24/7 and follow him around. He gets her a red bandana so she's easy to spot at all times. If there is anything dangerous he will leave her behind but be sad about it-

• Later finds out she yaps like crazy when he's not there and cries loudly.

• She sleeps on him constantly, sometimes waking him up since she will curl directly over his face suffocating him.

• 'Mrph!- 'Upeee!!" {Guppy!} And ge carefully scoots her on the pillow next to his head so he can breath and go back to sleep-

• Guppy acts as a sort of Therapy dog for Buggy as well- When his temper or anxiety get him worked up to were he would usually destroy his room she will instead lay on his chest and force him to stay still as he Pets her and works himself down from a rage.

• She is also the perfect pillow for him to cry on. So he has pressed his face gently into her fur and just cried- Often she licks the tears away.

• Doesnt wear as heavy of makeup since he knows she likes to lick his face and doesn't want the grease paint to make her sick-

• Will also carry her- Say if the waters are too choppy but she doesn't want to be left he will just carry her like a baby to make sure she doesn't slide around or get hurt.

• If anyone- and I mean ANYONE Dares to mess with his dog he will absolutely go ape-shit... Think insulting his nose is instant death- Hurt his dog and he will come up with the worse ways to kill a person slowly-

• He probably loves Guppy more then any living person and makes sure she has a wonderful healthy life.

Bonus!-

• "Hey Buggy can I ask?- Why do you like Corgi's so much?" You ask laying next to him on the floor of his cabin. He pauses for a moment as he thinks.

• "Lots of reasons- They are soft, sweet, overall really loving and they are a little odd which I like.. But-" He pauses for a second.

• "...It's kinda weird but.. my first memory in life was of a Corgi and my mother-" He admitted and you looked surprised by this, asking for him to explain which he rolled his eyes but agreed.

• "It was the day she dropped me off at the orphanage.. She handed me that corgi pillow you see on my bed and some berry she shoved in my pockets. Telling me that she had to leave me here to make sure I was safe from bad guys-" He said calmly, but you could hear the hurt in his tone.

• "But if I was every in a situation were it was truly life or death all I had to say with three words and I'd be okay. Then she kisses my forehead and left. It's my first and last memories of her- A few years later Roger's picking me up to be his apprentice" He admitted as Guppy lived his face clearly sensing some sadness.

• "Im... I'm so sorry-.. What were the three words?" You asked now circus, but you saw the way his eyes drifted to you briefly

• "Eh- That's a story for a different time" He said with a smile and waved it off. Watching how he pet Guppy some more.

• However you laid there stewing.. 3 words?

[imagineweasley]

After Fred

fred weasley relationship, george weasley platonic

summary: this is about the grieving process after fred dies. you, fred, and george had been best friends and you and george don't know how to go on after losing him. this is about how you help each other grieve and stay alive after it happens. (george and reader STRICTLY platonic).

warnings: death, grief, brief mention of violence during the battle

y/p: your patronus

word count: 1.1k

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author's note: i don't know why i'm writing so much angst! this one is definitely because i reread deathly hallows and that moment where fred dies hit me so hard, thinking about how i would not be able to -- or want to go on -- if my brother died. this one was sad but cathartic to write, and i was thinking about my own process of grief and pouring that into a little blurb. i promise there will be fluff and happy fics coming soon, i just need to get this out somewhere. my favorite quote about grief is also at the end. it's one you probably know by shannon barry and it makes me choked up every single time i read it. i hope that if anyone is grieving a loss or knows what it feels like, this can bring you some sort of comfort as well. i am always here if you need to reach out as well. sending so much love <3

--

your life ended when he died. three years of being best friends, five years of being lovers, eight years of being joined hip to hip to him and george, all gone in one excruciating instant, right in front of your eyes. you will have nightmares for years reliving that moment. the moment you were blasted off your feet, and the moment that, even in the chaos, you found fred's brown eyes and he found yours. the moment where as quickly as your eyes met, the sparkle, the look of love, the life left them.

even so, you couldn't imagine the grief and agony of his twin — his confidant, partner-in-crime, the one who had quite literally been there from day one — and you watched, helpless, as the life seemed to leave him as well. even his vibrant red hair, the one he shared with fred, seemed to dull.

george didn't eat for days. you couldn't keep anything down either. the moment you witnessed it, found with the greatest effort the strength to tear his brothers off of his lifeless body, dragged him into a corner, and afterwards, collapsed beside his limp form heaving with sobs, you lost it. you didn’t even try to ward off the stabbing pain in your heart because you feared that if you stopped feeling the pain, it meant that you will have truly lost him forever. you lost the will to keep yourself alive. mrs. weasley tried to keep you going, tempting you with delicious stews and pastries and tearfully assuring you that you will always be her daughter-in-law even if you technically had not been married yet, but the grief and guilt at his mother now having to take care of you when it should have been the other way around landed you in st. mungo's. he had promised. had shouted from the rooftops that you were his forever, and he was yours. he had placed the ring on your finger, the most beautiful one he could find for his most beautiful soulmate, with promises, so many promises. how could he leave? how dare he? there was no more forever, there was no more life left to live.

george visited you every day to sit by your bed in silence. he only left when the nurses would gently coax him out at nighttime when visiting hours were over, and he was the first to show up at dawn. he would force-feed you the bland hospital food. it seemed you two were the only ones who could keep each other alive. the nurses tried to force him to take help as well, but they gave up when they were only met with silence and he refused to budge from your side. it seemed you two were the only ones who could keep each other alive.

the visits did not stop after you were released, but it was you visiting him in the tiny flat above the store they had opened together. the grief filled that small flat but george could not bring himself to leave the place he and fred shared and had built a future. you two never did anything when you came. sat in front of the fire, never speaking, never moving, except to nibble on something that wouldn't come right back up. you would sit quietly in the weight of fred's absence, and perhaps you were straining your ears in desperate hopes that you would suddenly hear fred's raucous laugh from the other room.

when you were alone, you spent your time casting your patronus over and over again. not because there was a danger of dementors anywhere -- they hadn't been seen ever since harry defeated voldemort -- but because when you had fallen in love with fred years, no, lifetimes, ago, your patronus had changed from a y/p to a magpie, fred's patronus. his had changed to your patronus. you yearned for any form of reminder of your lost love. you would watch the magpie flap around the room, circle your head, and land on your shoulder with what was almost a glimmer of comfort, before it faded away.

eventually, you moved into fred and george's flat. there was no point in going home anymore. you were basically living there anyway. plus, the weasleys could visit you both at once, instead of apparating back and forth between your apartment and his. harry and hermione would often visit, as would lee. you often found them cycling through the place and sitting with you and george in front of the fire, always silent.

one night, after forcing some of mrs. weasley's stew down your throat, you found george sitting by the fire again. you stood in the kitchen doorway watching him as tears fell silently down his cheeks. he stared at the fire as if he was waiting for his brother to jump out at any moment and end the nightmare. you turned around and walked to the counter to boil some water. you watched the water bubble and the only thought on your mind was how the molecules in that boiling water had, unlike you did, a will to exist. they persisted for as long as they could, but you were done persevering. you broke out of your reverie and poured two cups of tea.

you approached george in his armchair and set the teacup down on the small table next to him. the clink brought him back, and he managed a small smile. you smiled back and settled into your armchair, the one that fred used to flop into with a groan after a long day of entertaining at the store. the monotonous crackle of the fire kept your mind off of things for a few minutes, until a fond memory popped into your head from back in your hogwarts days. without you even knowing it was coming out, the memory spilled out of your mouth.

"remember when we made vines shoot out of lockhart's nostrils and he nearly cut his nose off trying to get them out?"

you felt some heaviness lift.

"yeah... yeah, that was one of our best moments, wasn't it?"

you smiled, remembering how you, george, and fred had ducked into a classroom and watched as professor flitwick ran to the stumbling professor and was nearly punted out the window by lockhart's flailing limbs. you remembered fred's dancing eyes and his signature wide grin.

and for the first time in a very long time, you saw george smile. not the tense one he gave his customers to be polite and make sales, but a hint of the old george, a hint of the glimmer in his eyes, a hint of the crinkle of his cheeks, and a hint of the grin he used to have etched onto his face. this one memory had brought a hint of fred back to the flat. you both fell back into silence after that. all was still, but you both felt that in this stillness, there was something different -- perhaps a hint of life fighting its way back in.

and when i turned to face grief, i saw that it was just love in a heavy coat. - shannon barry.

[guerrerense]

Flying Over The Fall por David Blazejewski Por Flickr: On a mild early spring afternoon Amtrak GE P42DC number 97 leads on time train number 54 (the northbound Vermonter to St. Albans, VT from Washington, D.C.) across the historic stone arch bridge over the Fall River on modern day Berkshire and Eastern Railroad's (ex Pan Am) Conn River mainline which is now owned by the state of Massachusetts. This 4-arch span at Milepost 42.81 (measuredcfrom Springfield) on the former Boston and Maine Railroad Conn River mainline was designed and built in 1846 by none other than Theodore Judah who later became Chief Engineer of the Sacramento Valley Railroad and the greatest proponent of the Transcontinental Railroad. He personally lobbied Abraham Lincoln for the passage of the Pacific Railroad Act and brought together the 'Big Four' to found the Central Pacific Railroad. As Chief Engineer of the CPRR he surveyed the route along which it would be ultimately built, but he died in 1863 not living to see his dream become a reality more than 150 years ago in 1869. As for the railroad itself, it was once a major north south heavy duty mainline until it fell out of favor as a thru route by B&M successor Guilford Transportation, and for most of my lifetime was little more than a 10 mph secondary the domain of short locals headed to the few remaining customers north to White River Junction. From 1972 to 1987 Amtrak's Montrealer traversed this route until discontinued due to poor track conditions and shifted to an all Central Vermont routing from New London leaving this stretch of the Conn River main devoid of passenger trains until 2014. On August 20 of that year, the state finalized a $17 million deal to purchase the line from Pan Am, successor to the B&M and Guilford. The subsequent rebuilding of the route (including this bridge) to modern passenger train standards with a combination of federal and state money led to the return of Amtrak's Vermonter to the line, dubbed by the state as the 'Knowledge Corridor' in December 2014 with new stops added at Holyoke, Northampton, and Greenfield. Wanting to capitalize on their investment, in February 2016, Massachusetts Secretary of Transportation Stephanie Pollack said that MassDOT was looking at starting a pilot commuter service as early as 2017. In June 2018, Governor Charlie Baker announced that two Amtrak New Haven to Springfield shuttle round trips would be extended to Greenfield in 2019 as a pilot program. The service began August 31, 2019 operated under the Valley Flyer moniker. It was operated on a trial basis through fall 2021 with a goal of 24,000 riders a year which has been met, and consequently the state just announced that the trains will be permanent. Alas, they travel no further than Greenfield, so for now this train and its northbound counterpart are the only daily passenger trains that cross this magnificent historic structure. Bernardston, Massachusetts Saturday March 22, 2025

[allthecryingdragons]

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[halfwayessay]

Bugibba and Young (1983)

[This is part of a much larger script on the history of Bugibba] [This will also be a lot longer than my previous post, I apologize]

Bugibba is one of the largest resort towns in the entirety of Malta and has been that way for the past 80 years, since its initial boom in the 1960's. It, however, has little history and heritage to speak of which is why information on it is so hard to find. That's why Chapman & Speake's amazing 2011 paper is such an invaluable asset and its also how I found Young's 1983 paper which this post will focus on. This post, compared to the one I made yesterday, is slightly more analysis based rather than a retelling of some interesting history.

But why Young (1983)? As Chapman & Speake mention: “Prior to the 1950s, Bugibba and its neighbouring settlements such as Qawra and St. Paul’s Bay were small fishing and farming based communities” (2011: 483). This makes Young’s paper really interesting in the context of its focus and Bugibba’s former status as a fishing town (which it had been for decades [e.g Chircop 2010], if not centuries [e.g Abell 2007: 125]). It describes 6 stages of development, which will be projected onto Bugibba below.

i. The early traditional stage is pretty much still the traditional fishing-farming village, with the only tourists who come there being those who come to visit relatives (p.38). This is most likely the state in which the 1899-1907 survey of Malta was done, by the British Royal School of Military Engineering (NAM 1899-1907). This map shows a significant lack of an established city with only a few (presumably) houses by the shore (fishermen or farmers, most probably).

ii. The late traditional stage is similar to the previous stage, however some infrastructure has been built for tourism; not necessarily hotels/accommodation, but rather summer homes which the wealthy use on their time off. Possibly, the city may even get a police station, indicating that the government knows the potential of a future resort town (p.36, 38). This is similar to what Chapman & Speake said themselves (p.486), about what Bugibba was like pre-1950 tourist boom.

iii. The initial tourism stage is when people start to come to the village, although tourism in and of itself hasn’t really started. They respect the local culture, seeing as some of them are poets/wealthy and themselves dabble in culture, and they stay mostly separated. The villagers live on as if the tourists aren’t really there, or as Young states, “‘apathetic’” (p.38). NAM (1928), a motion to start an archaeological investigation into Bugibba, could reasonably be used to plot time. It wouldn't be unreasonable to state that amongst the poets and wealthy coming to Bugibba, might be some archaeologists. This plots pretty accurately on the rest of the accounts of Bugibba's development.

iv. The early tourism stage describes when a fishing town, like Bugibba, has finally been acknowledged for its potential. This brings with constructions of tourism complexes, commercial enterprises (shops that aren’t for village living essentials as in stage i-iii) and more. The village is being encroached upon by the tourist infrastructure, possibly even by Maltese with good money[fn1]. “Natives”, accepting the inevitable, mingle with tourists and trade food, products and newspapers and additionally, some who have the qualifications to, help the tourists out with their medical issues.

v. The expanding tourism stage signifies a point in which the village has been designated (usually by the government) to be a tourist attraction and now infrastructure to accommodate tourism is built. This also includes stuff like a new school or bus lines, which also incidentally help out the locals. One of the defining infrastructural developments is the building of a “major luxury hotel” [p.38]. New shops and attractions will open up and, whilst the older village locals might worry, the newer village locals embrace the new attention the village’s getting. This would be Bugibba leading into the 1950’s and it is from here that the development which Chapman & Speake go over.

vi. The intensive tourism stage of tourist development is the final one and it is what can be observed in the early days of Bugibba's tourist boom. The town has been ransacked by private companies looking to get their own piece of the tourism pie, new self-catering apartments, hotels and villas for tourists from all over the world to visit. The urban development of the town has gone into full swing and "the only traces remaining of the Early Traditional Stage" [p.40] are the few monuments and fishing huts which people deem as the town's heritage. This is true too in Bugibba, as little if anything from this period remains intact. 

Almost 4 decades ahead of his time, Young commented on the model he created, asking: “How may the villscape change after Stage 6? Will it, in time, lose some of its appeal as a tourist destination?” [p.41]. This is what Chapman & Speake spend a majority of their time discussing, asking an eerily similar question at the end of their paper: “If Bugibba’s future is not as a resort, then questions concerning its form, function and identity need to be asked” [p.490]. Thanks for reading if you did and below are the references. This was really fun to put together.

Footnotes: 1. E.g, it could be that Calleja Giuseppe (NAM, 1920), who was going to America, possibly in Detroit for work (Sanko, 2018: 113), came back with good money and helped with the building of new tourist infrastructure

References: Abell, N. (2007). The Role of Malta in Prehistoric Mediterranean Exchange Networks. Chapman, A. & Speake, J. (2011). Regeneration in a mass-tourism resort: The changing fortunes of Bugibba, Malta Chircop, J. (2010). Living on Fishing, Caught in the Market: The Maltese fishing communities, 1860s-1920. Sanko, M. A. (2018). Britishers in Two Worlds: Maltese Immigrants in Detroit and Toronto, 1919-1960. Young, B. (1983). Touristization of traditional Maltese fishing-farming villages.

Archival Sources: National Archives of Malta. (1899-1907). Item 50070 - Survey of Malta - Bugibba Area. National Archives of Malta. (1920). Item 4433 - Passport Application of Calleja Giovanni. National Archives of Malta. (1928). Item 0309/1928 - Reports that remains of a megalithic building exist in the land "Ta Bulebel" at Bugibba, and recommends that the site be valued and examined by the Public Works Department. D of M.

[cecilstedmansbabydaddy]

Bloody Pulp

Anyways, here's something I wrote in like an hour because I wanted Cyrus to suffer a bit. TW for harsh language, verbal abuse, and violence. Hope y'all enjoy his suffering as much as I do!

~

Pain immediately exploded through the side of Cyrus’s face as Barrett’s fist connected to his cheek. He brought his hand up to shield it, but another punch followed just a few seconds after the first. He stumbled back into the coffee table and fell onto it, the glass shattering beneath him.

“How many times have I told you to cut the fucking attitude!” he yelled into his face as he straddled him. “How many times have you disrespected me and my family!”

His heart raced. Blood dripped down from his nose and he could taste copper in his mouth. “Ho-how is calling out your bullshit disrespect?” 

He wrapped his hands around his throat. “I am the man of his house! I own this farm! Everything I say goes even if you don’t like it!” 

Pressure was applied against his windpipe. He grabbed his wrists and tried to pull them away but no matter the force he used Barrett just seemed to be stronger. “Ge-get off me!” he wheezed.

“You have been a thorn in my side ever since Viviana brought you here!” He pressed his thumbs into his throat. “You’ve done nothing to return the favor! I let you stay here for free and you do jack shit!”

Air filled his head. The world around him spun. Everything around him blurred slightly. He pushed his hand against his face in an attempt to get him off.

“You are a burden and you will always be a burden!” He removed his hands but gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him up. 

He gasped and filled his lungs with as much air as he could handle. 

“I don’t know what the fuck she or anyone else sees in you!” He slammed him against the wood.

Dots popped up in his vision as the back of his head collided with the hard surface. 

“Worthless! You’re fucking worthless!” he screamed, bringing him back up and slamming him down once more. “Everything I’ve done for you and still it isn’t good enough!” 

He blinked, his vision doubled. 

“You’re a disgrace!” He slammed him down again. “Nothing you do will make up for the fact you’re you! Cyrus Richards is a no good, worthless, drug addicted piece of shit!” 

He was pulled up and thrown to the ground. He gasped as he hit the wood and rolled onto his side to recover.

A kick landed in his stomach. “St-sop.” He held his hand out to shield himself.

Barrett grabbed his hand and wrenched his fingers back, the bones snapping.

A loud cry came from his throat and he pulled his arm back and cradled his hand.

Another kick landed against his chest, forcing all the air from his lungs. He inhaled sharply. Tears streamed down his face and mingled with the blood.

“You smoke and drink all fucking day while we work our asses off!” He dragged him back up and pushed him against the wall. “What’s your excuse!”

“I-I’ve done more for you than anyone else here you no good piece of-,” he was cut off by another punch to the face.

“That doesn’t make up for your laziness and shitty attitude!” He threw him back down to the ground and punched him over and over again. “Useless! You’re fucking useless!”

“Barrett,” Aimo said from behind him. “This will solve nothing. Leave him alone.”

He looked down at him and frowned. His brows furrowed. He stood up. “Leave him there to figure himself out.” He pushed past Aimo and left to the kitchen.

He looked at him. His face betrayed no emotion. “Are you okay?”

He forced himself to sit up and braced his weight against his good arm. “Do-do I look okay?” He glared at him. “Fuck you.” 

“Do you want me to get Asher or Ivan?”

He shook his head. “No, no. I’ll take care of myself, man.” He stood up, his legs shaky. “Thanks for getting him off me. Wish you did it sooner.”

“You’re very hurt.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” He sighed. “Just-just fuck off and leave me alone.”

He nodded and left towards the kitchen.

With a sigh, he limped from the living room to the front porch. He steadied himself against the beam holding the porch’s roof and dragged himself down the stairs. All the way back to the unused barn he trekked. Pain screamed in his body and demanded attention.

At the barn he climbed into the loft and dragged himself over to where he slept. He fell onto the little cot he had set up for himself and draped his bad hand on his chest.

“I’m fucking pathetic,” he muttered, “what the fuck am I even doing here.”

For a few minutes he stared at the ceiling.

He sat up and searched through the small duffel bag he had stored all his belongings in. He grabbed a roll of duct tape and tore off a strip. 

“Fuck,” he inhaled deeply, “alright, shit.” He grabbed his pointer finger and pulled it out, stifling a scream. Tears streamed down his face as he went onto the second one. He breathed hard. “Two more. Come on you pussy.” He pulled them both out at the same time.

He panted, beads of sweat dripping down his face.

With the strip of tape, he wrapped his fingers together.

“Fu-fuck.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I deserve this.”

[devoutjunk]

Novel Syllabus 2024

This coming year I think I'm going to be on here more often than I am on twitter or elsewhere, and as part of that, I'm going to start documenting the process of writing my novel more actively. I want to return to/resurrect the momentum and energy I had while writing the first draft and be more intentional about setting aside time to work, even when it's difficult. Below are my writing goals for the coming year as well as my reading list of texts for inspiration, genre/background research, comps, etc. Would welcome any suggestions of texts (any genre/discipline) pertaining to Antigone, death & resurrection, Welsh and Cornish myth and folklore, ecology & environmental crisis, and the Gothic.

Writing Goals

Reach 50k words in draft 2 overall

Finish a draft of Anna's timeline

Finish a draft of Jo's timeline

Polish & submit an excerpt for the Center for Fiction Prize

Reading

* = reread

Sci-Fi, Fantasy, & The Apocalyptic

The Memory Theater (Karin Tidbeck)

Who Fears Death (Nnedi Okorafor)

Urth of The New Sun (Gene Wolfe)

Slow River (Nicola Griffith)

Dream Snake (Vonda McIntyre)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (Marlon James)

Notes from the Burning Age (Claire North)

Invisible Cities (Italo Calvino)*

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley)*

The Last Man (Mary Shelley)

The Drowned World (J.G. Ballard)

Strange Beasts of China (Yan Ge, trans. by Jeremy Tiang)

City of Saints and Madmen (Jeff VanderMeer)

Freshwater (Akweke Emezi)

The Glass Hotel (Emily St. John Mandel)

Pattern Master (Octavia Butler)

Sleep Donation (Karen Russell)

How High We Go in the Dark (Sequoia Nagamatsu)

The Magician's Nephew (C.S. Lewis)*

The Golden Compass (Phillip Pullman)*

The Green Witch (Susan Cooper)

The Tombs of Atuan (Ursula K. Le Guin)

Black Sun (Rebecca Roanhorse)

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir)

Lives of the Monster Dogs (Kirsten Bakis)

Brian Evenson

Sofia Samatar

Connie Willis

Samuel Delaney

Jo Walton

Tanith Lee

Retellings

A Wild Swan (Michael Cunningham)

Til We Have Faces (C.S. Lewis)

Gingerbread (Helen Oyeyemi)

Circe (Madeline Miller)

The Owl Service (Alan Garner)

Literary Myth-Making, Mystery, and the Gothic

Nights at the Circus (Angela Carter)

Frenchman's Creek (Daphne Du Maurier)

Possession (A.S. Byatt)*

The Game (A.S. Byatt)*

The Essex Serpent (Sarah Perry)

Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)

The Secret History (Donna Tartt)*

The Wild Hunt (Emma Seckel)

King Nyx (Kirsten Bakis)

The Name of the Rose (Umberto Eco)

The Lottery and Other Stories (Shirley Jackson)

Beloved (Toni Morrison)

The Night Land (William Hope Hodgson)

Interview with a Vampire (Anne Rice)*

Sexing the Cherry (Jeanette Winterson)*

Night Side of the River (Jeanette Winterson)

Bad Heroines (Emily Danforth)

All the Murmuring Bones (A.G. Slatter)

The Path of Thorns (A.G. Slatter)

Gormenghast (Mervyn Peake)

Prose Work, Perspective, and Stream of Consciousness

The Chandelier (Clarice Lispector)

The Waves (Virginia Woolf)*

The Years (Virginia Woolf)

The Intimate Historical Epic / Court Intrigues

Wolf Hall (Hilary Mantel)*

Menewood (Nicola Griffith)

Dark Earth (Rebecca Stott)

A Place of Greater Safety (Hilary Mantel)

Research

The Mabinogion (trans. Sioned Davies)

Le Morte D'Arthur (Thomas Malory)

The Collected Brothers Grimm (Phillip Pullman)

Angela Carter's Collected Fairytales

Mythology (Edith Hamilton)

Underland (Robert Macfarlane)

The Wild Places (Robert Macfarlane)

Wildwood (Roger Deakin)

Vanishing Cornwall (Daphne Du Maurier)

Lonely Planet: Guide to Devon & Cornwall

A Traveler's Guide to the End of the World (David Gessner)

The Lost Boys of Montauk (Amanda M. Fairbanks)

A Cyborg Manifesto (Donna J. Harraway)

A Treasury of British Folklore (Dee Dee Chainey)*

The First Last Man: Mary Shelley and the Postapocalyptic Imagination (Eileen M. Hunt)

Antigone's Claim (Judith Butler)

Theories of Desire: Antigone Again (Judith Butler)

Ecology of Fear (Mike Davis)

[foreigndistance]

I love S.E.M an insane amount. (a reflection)

“If it weren’t for S.E.M, would I even be here right now?”

Okay, correction: “If I didn’t meet S.E.M again through a random Google search a few years ago, would I even be here right now?”

Let’s turn back the clock for a moment. I got into 2D fictional idols through Love Live! back in mid-2017 with me first watching the School Idol Project anime on a whim. Timeskip to months later in October and I went through Sunshine!! Season 2 when it was airing, and I remembered vaguely hearing things about THE IDOLM@STER back then. I had a loose idea about SideM’s existence through clips from the anime (which was airing on that same season) along with IDOLiSH7 and Tsukipro – both fellow male idol series that I also encountered. Neither did I pay closer attention to these nor was I into male idols though.

Here’s this bit from a previous lovemail from a few years ago: I wasn’t fully open about my interests towards others. I feared that nobody would understand what I enjoy, especially if it isn't as well-known as what a typical person would know. Before becoming an idol fan, I was more into magical girl anime, tokusatsu, and Western animation in general – all of which are niche interests in their own right.

Skip to 2019. By that point, I was already into IM@S by that point, albeit focusing more on 765Pro and Million Live’s activities via Theater Days. In January, I started Shiny Colors and LIVE ON ST@GE! for the first time, and both had uh – let’s just say, “unique” ways of handling non-rhythm game-like mechanics. (I haven't touched the older console games yet.) I was more of a casual fan of the two branches (compared to 765) and I was more focused on my high school life, which hadn’t started crumbling down just yet. I didn’t stay with the two games as much as Mirishita.

My first starter idol in MStage was Ryo, mainly because of his connection with the console games. Touma and Ryo’s connections to 765Pro immediately made them my initial favorite idols in SideM, but three men clad in pink and silver spandex caught my attention: S.E.M. The unit’s concept of a trio of ex-teachers becoming idols to motivate and inspire students to study and follow their dreams struck me. I regretted not starting off with any of the members, so I left my original MStage account, opting to return with a S.E.M starter idol when I gave it a second chance.

I chose Rui as my new starter idol in April 2019, but I didn’t really have a no. 1 favorite idol by then. I read a few of whatever was translated and listened to some of the songs; but I was more focused on Mirishita and acted more casually towards the other branches.

But on a more personal note, I was starting to go through some… mixed feelings in my personal life.

My boyfriend and I broke up after 11 months, had to give up taking part in a club I’ve been involved in for the past 2 years by then, and constantly got annoyed at some teachers’ way of doing things which affected my enjoyment of the subjects I studied for… And on top of that, it was starting to feel more lonely as I saw friend groups I knew split apart for a moment and I would feel unwanted at times when my close friends aren’t around.

It was getting lonely. Being with the school newspaper team felt most like home when our meetings happened, but it wasn’t enough.

(Don’t worry, I’m okay now and my friends – including my ex – are currently on good terms.)

December 4, 2019. The router at home was having internet problems and I couldn’t properly play the Mirishita event at the time, “Hitomi no Naka no Sirius”. I was at home since we didn’t have to go to school because of a holiday. I don’t fully remember what led to me messing around on my two phones – but for some reason, I typed “S.E.M” onto Google search on a whim and found their work again. It was clear that I was bored by that point, so I started reading their magazines and event stories again to pass the time.

Seeing S.E.M and the relationship within the trio… reminded me of home. What appealed to me about them wasn’t just their “silly” reason for becoming idols in the first place or their entire concept (which is already something you don’t see in other mixed media idol/music franchises often), it was the relationship between three grown men (who were colleagues from the same workplace they left) getting into the entertainment industry just to inspire and motivate others to follow their dreams and, of course, study. School had a strong importance for most of my life where I could show my true self without feeling restricted by my family’s presence. Seeing them… made me smile.

I started rambling about them – especially Jiro, who initially became my favorite among the trio back then – to my best friend. The brainrot slowly took over. I was already sure that all three of them were here to stay this time. The brainrot made me reinstall MStage and return to my account, and I started playing the original Mobage with my beginner-level Japanese knowledge.

As I started talking more about that trio of ex-teachers with her, I realized how insecure I really was about my interests; too shy to talk to random strangers online as well. At that time, it felt like that had to change. I created my present-day Twitter account in early 2020. That was originally dedicated to my interests (and eventually became my main account) and I started talking in English-speaking IM@S servers more often. I’ve made friends with people from around the world and from my own home country. I even started posting some of my own art on there and would try to start posting on other social media platforms over the years. It was nerve-wracking, but perhaps it made me feel a little less lonely compared to before, looking back.

When I left another fandom (which was related to IRL idols) in early 2020, I made a pledge to myself that no matter how bad the branch’s situation gets, I would stay with the boys until the end. Of all the media I have ever touched, none would come close as to what THE IDOLM@STER SideM would ever bring me into on a very personal level. Its message and theme of starting over again at any age resonated with me, and it hits hard especially as I grew older. I’ve met many Producers of varying branches over the last 3-4 years, have taken part in several fan community projects – including running entire Twitter accounts and fan wikis and Discord servers – and helped me learn some skills along the way.

As for my tantous in IM@S itself? Michio Hazama (and by extension, S.E.M as whole) would overtake everyone, of course.  Entering 2020, I had to rank the New Year’s Michio event in LIVE ON ST@GE! right after I just returned to it, then my first S.E.M-focused event since I started the Mobage was a Michio rank. The first artwork I posted on Twitter publicly was his New Year event SR for his birthday.

Of all the tantous I’ve met, none could reach the same personal level of love, care, and interest I have for them as much as him. (Even if a certain Cinderella Girl came to challenge that notion.) I remembered one of my types being a quiet, serious guy with glasses. His silent passion and strict (yet caring) demeanor towards his pupils, the way he wants to see them succeed from an educator’s point of view, and his moments with the cast – especially with his unitmates and Producer – brought me immense warmth.

I knew he would become my favorite idol within the branch as time went on, but he eventually won me over the most within the entire franchise. A serious man in glasses is an archetype you would often see, but seeing a teacher figure want the best for his students and his unit, as well as being passionate about his work and not being overly loud about it drives me insane.

——————————————————————————————

Fast forward to 2022. When GROWING STARS had its 1st anniversary campaign, the vibes I got from the online surroundings at the time didn’t settle well with me. Honestly, I was very disappointed with the execution of the anniversary campaign itself, although I tried to keep myself in tact. There was a lingering feeling that what is now a core aspect of myself about to break down once again, especially seeing how some Producers I met through SideM had (understandably) either left or took a break for better, greener pastures. I found myself turning towards a certain pair of adult ladies from another production to help me go through my short break from SideM at the time, but still kept in touch with IM@S by that point. As I thought about the other idols (who are over 20 y/o) I would eventually produce – especially when it comes to that pair of ladies – I thought to myself that what if SideM helped rewire my taste.

And now, with the advent of the last remaining SideM game’s impending, terribly received, and horribly executed shutdown and with Bandai Namco having revealed its future plans through a roadmap... I’m lost and unsure where to go. It’s like I KNOW where to go, but don’t know how to go further despite the circumstances. I even gave a large “sigh” towards the announcement before I’d write the GROWING STARS shutdown notice itself onto the SideM ENG Twitter.

It took me a few days to write up my full response towards the shutdown announcement up to the point where I was writing it in the middle of my trip days after the stream. Before that, I had left several disappointed tweets which eventually became hit tweet after hit tweet.

I’ve been into IM@S as a Producer for 5 years by this point. I didn’t want to celebrate it like this.

Despite everything though, I told myself that I wouldn’t leave. I did say that I would still keep in touch with IM@S, and I can’t deny the impact that it has left towards me and how I saw my IM@S tantou roster (which has grown since I became S.E.M’s Producer.) I’ve had moments where I questioned my worth as a P over the past few years. I've seen others’ achievements when I’m still trying to get my foot into learning Japanese up to this day. I've seen other Producers, same tantou or otherwise, rank high in the games when points ranking was still a thing while I’ve never been able to get past the Top 1000 event points ranking for a S.E.M/Michio-focused event. And I may probably never will.

However...

If it weren’t for the people I’ve met, the characters I’ve met, and the Producers I’ve met and would encounter... I often have my lonely days and would feel gloomy over things for no particular reason (and I still do), but I wouldn’t trade my own experiences with different friend groups I’ve made for the world.

I want to reach as high as I can to beat my past Top 100 success in Mirishita, even if it’s through my actions in a game I’ve yet to reach that same level. For as long as I’m allowed to produce my tantou units through whatever games they have left.

I want to continue supporting the idols I’ve met, and the two units I’ll continue to produce. Taking care of a pair of drinking buddies who are over 20 and a trio of ex-teachers doesn’t sound too bad.

I love S.E.M an insane amount. I love Michio an even more insane amount.

Because I wouldn’t be here without them. And maybe I wouldn't have gotten that first push to do all of what I’ve done without them.

[imasallstars]

THE IDOLM@STER SideM 10th ANNIVERSARY P@SSION TOUR

Information regarding the Next Live has been announced! SideM 10th ANNIVERSARY P@SSION TOUR is a tour split among five different venues of different themes.

The first four stops will be a PRODUCER'S MEETING ending with a LIVE at the final stop.

10th ANNIVERSARY MEETING ～P@SSION BANG!!!～ will occur on in EHIME MATSUYAMA CIVIC CENTER on 2024.11.03

10th ANNIVERSARY MEETING ～P@SSION SPARKS!!!～ will occur on in KUMAMOTO CASTLE HALL on 2024.12.22

10th ANNIVERSARY MEETING ～P@SSION SUNDAE!!!～ will occur on in OSAKA ORIX THEATER on 2025.02.08~09

10th ANNIVERSARY MEETING ～P@SSION UP!!!～ will occur on in MAKUHARI MESSE on 2025.03.15~16

10th ANNIVERSARY ST@GE ～P@SSION-ING!!!～ will occur on in K-ARENA YOKOHAMA on 2025.07.12~13

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

you’ve heard and know mine, now i need to hear and know yours.

what is your backstory for dally 🤨🤨🎤🎤🎤🎤

It’s a long one? Maybe? And I can’t take total credit, a lot of mine is based on @sophie-i-guess13 canon, she’s got some great ideas <3

But! Dally lived in New York with his dad. His mom left when he was young, which was like, a major blow because he was such a momma’s boy. But his mom and dad didn’t get along in typical toxic 60s marriage fashion and so she left- the St. Christopher medal he wears is the only thing ge has left of her :)

Dal’s an only child, but his dad sort of slept around when he was younger so there may be some half-siblings floating around New York that Dal doesn’t know about. But! He lived with dad, which wasn’t great because his dad was kind of living outside the law and Dally picked that up as he was growing up. Blah blah blah, in and out of jail when he was like 10, blah blah blah, multiple arrests, you know the story of him growing up on the wild side-

Here’s where it gets interesting.

When he was like 12, he ran away from New York. Maybe his dad hit him one too many times, maybe the wild boys he was hanging out with got caught up in that murder wrap and Dally bolted for the nearest train car to skip town. All that really matters here is that Dally left town without his father and his father did not travel with him to Tulsa. In Johnny and Pony fashion, little baby Dallas rode the trains from New York to Tulsa before hopping off and deciding to stay. He’s like twelve, he really can’t go much of anywhere else unless he gets back on the train

Sophie Canon has Dally getting hit by Buck’s car and that’s why the blond cowboy takes him in and lets him live at the bar. I love that idea so I’ve adopted into my canon as well, very many thanks to her for that wonderful thought <3

So yeah! That’s kind of an overview of my Dally Canon!

[azlovesem]

No i use a weapon calked the scotpion fi ald dump eill never see my base better watch his ass peopke aanba kilk hom and fuck yhe fucknoff before this gets resl ugly. I dont think he ever sitd proper. Ge lo gwt snihilsted moet tepublicsnsvthonk thos guts a retard they just knew he coukd ein.hes not dnaert his ifeas sre shit.if we hsce to shoit him we will. Sbd thrn his fsmily gone. Friends colleagues same we ll clean house snd live proper. My base is hiddrn. See if trump can wslk on area 51 hw lo mevef set foit on it. The oreeident is a lsme duck runs nothing snyone saysnoyherwise youre dras slready. Peopke are stupud snd vmcant be trusted we be slways been in charge here. Hu donnie biy. Csll him buuttervall or fonnue. He hates fonnie cdll hom donnie boi. Yeah we font feee you fucks. Het kid rock uoyr moms mouth my duck. Ors big she ll choke on it. Thar kids s fuckn ounk bitch snd ghatsxsll ge his Michigsn is ny state snyond who says otherwise i far poolooka bitch hoof ftom michigan. Kod tocjs a goof youre on hiys team youre dead mbuchigsn. I hope yhise old peo ok e died st ygsr home. More pubidhment cominv michigsn. Kill kid rock ir i cone home sbd koll yiu. I sad hes s bitch goof punk.

Scarlett Johansson

[collegedunias]

Discover the Future of Management at SIBM Pune

Choosing the right business school can be a life-changing decision. If you're aiming for excellence in management education, look no further than SIBM Pune – a name that stands out among the top B-schools in India. In this blog, we’ll explore everything you need to know about SIBM Pune, from its courses to placements, campus life, and why it should be on your top priority list.

About SIBM Pune

Symbiosis Institute of Business Management Pune (SIBM Pune) is one of India’s premier B-Schools. Established in 1978, it is a constituent of Symbiosis International (Deemed University). Known for its academic rigor and industry-relevant programs, SIBM Pune has consistently ranked among the top MBA colleges in the country.

The institute is located at Lavale Hills, Pune – a lush green and serene environment that offers the perfect backdrop for focused learning.

Courses Offered at SIBM Pune

SIBM Pune offers a range of postgraduate programs designed to shape future business leaders. These include:

MBA (Flagship Full-Time Program) – Specializations: Marketing, Finance, Operations, and Human Resource

MBA (Innovation and Entrepreneurship)

Executive MBA (for working professionals)

Management Development Programs (MDPs)

All programs are tailored to meet current industry demands and include real-world exposure through case studies, internships, and live projects.

Admission Process for SIBM Pune

To get into SIBM Pune, you must appear for the SNAP entrance exam, which is conducted by Symbiosis University. Based on your SNAP score, you'll be shortlisted for:

Group Exercise (GE)

Personal Interaction (PI)

Written Ability Test (WAT)

Eligibility Criteria:

Graduate with a minimum of 50% marks (45% for SC/ST)

Final-year students can also apply

SNAP is usually held in December every year, so early preparation is key.

Why Choose SIBM Pune?

There are several reasons why students from across India and abroad aim for admission into SIBM Pune:

Top-Notch Faculty

The professors at SIBM Pune are industry veterans, researchers, and thought leaders who bring real-world insights into the classroom.

Strong Industry Connect

With its excellent corporate network, SIBM Pune regularly hosts guest lectures, conclaves, and industry visits to enhance practical learning.

High ROI

With an average placement package crossing ₹20 LPA and top offers reaching up to ₹35+ LPA, SIBM Pune offers a return on investment (ROI) that justifies every rupee spent.

Global Exposure

The institute offers exchange programs with international universities, giving students a global perspective on business and management.

Holistic Development

Through student-driven committees, fests, leadership talks, and sports events, SIBM Pune ensures a well-rounded learning experience.

Placement Highlights – SIBM Pune

Placements are one of the strongest pillars of SIBM Pune. Every year, top recruiters from consulting, FMCG, BFSI, IT, and e-commerce domains visit the campus.

Placement 2024 Snapshot:

Highest CTC: ₹35.05 LPA

Average CTC: ₹23.66 LPA

Median CTC: ₹22.50 LPA

Top Recruiters: Accenture, Deloitte, HUL, KPMG, PwC, Microsoft, Cipla, and many more.

Most students receive offers from consulting and finance, followed by marketing and operations.

Campus Infrastructure

The campus of SIBM Pune is no less than a dream. With modern classrooms, an extensive library, computer labs, and 24/7 Wi-Fi, the learning environment is tech-friendly and innovative.

Facilities Include:

Separate hostels for boys and girls

Fully equipped gym

Amphitheater for events

Health care center

Cafeteria offering hygienic meals

Student Life at SIBM Pune

Life at SIBM Pune goes beyond academics. The institute has over 20 student-run councils and clubs ranging from entrepreneurship, marketing, and consulting to cultural and sports groups. Events like Transcend, E-Summit, and Imperia bring the campus alive.

This exposure helps students build leadership, teamwork, and communication skills – all crucial for succeeding in the corporate world.

Alumni Network

The alumni network of SIBM Pune is vast and influential. Graduates occupy leadership roles in top companies around the globe. The institute regularly hosts alumni interactions and networking events to help current students connect with former students.

Rankings and Recognition

SIBM Pune has earned top ranks consistently in major national B-school surveys:

Ranked among Top 15 B-Schools in India by NIRF

Ranked No. 1 among private B-Schools in Maharashtra by multiple publications

Consistently featured in India Today, Outlook, and Business Today rankings

These accolades reflect the institute’s commitment to academic excellence and student success.

Student Testimonials

"Choosing SIBM Pune was the best decision of my life. The faculty, the exposure, the placements – everything exceeded my expectations!" – Aayushi, MBA HR

"From SNAP prep to final placements, the journey at SIBM Pune was full of learning and unforgettable moments." – Karan, MBA Marketing

How to Prepare for SNAP?

If you want to get into SIBM Pune, SNAP preparation is crucial. Focus on the following areas:

Quantitative Aptitude

Logical Reasoning

Verbal Ability

General English

Also, work on your writing and interview skills for WAT and PI rounds. There are plenty of SNAP mock tests and coaching programs available online and offline.

Final Words

If you're serious about pursuing an MBA and want to study at a college that combines academic excellence, world-class infrastructure, and exceptional placement opportunities, then SIBM Pune should be your top choice.

The competitive yet nurturing environment here transforms students into confident professionals ready to take on global business challenges.

If you need further information contact:

523, 5th Floor, Wave Silver Tower, Sec-18 Noida, UP-201301

+91 9711016766

infocollegedunias@gmail.com

[rentassembly]

Assembly in Oakland, CA

The Assembly offers exceptional pet-friendly apartments Oakland that are perfect for young professionals and those starting to build a family. Living in these luxurious rental apartments is ideal for anyone looking to begin a new chapter in the city. The gourmet kitchen design is a standout feature, with quartz countertops, ceramic tile backsplashes, white cabinetry, and GE stainless steel appliances. It's truly inspiring for those who enjoy cooking. The thoughtfully-designed spaces cater to individuals seeking both comfort and style. Finally, it is interesting to note that the Assembly is not just a place to live; it's a place to thrive.

Oakland, CA

Nowadays, there are many online portals that share future events in popular travel destinations. As a suggestion, you can check out Eventbrite. Through their famous event website, you can see that there will be First, there will be TABOO SOCA FETE event this coming Friday, March 21, 2025, at around 10:00 PM, at Fluid510. Moreover, the 2000s Party on the Rooftop (Spring Edition) will take place this coming Saturday, March 22, 2025, at around 10:00 PM, at Torch Oakland Rooftop Bar. Lastly, you can also opt to attend the Toasted Life R&B Vibe Lounge on Saturday, March 22, 2025, at around 10:00 PM, at Zanzi Oakland.

Children's Fairyland in Oakland, CA

Located on the shores of Lake Merritt in Oakland, California, Children's Fairyland is the perfect destination for families looking for a fun and relaxing day out. This amusement park, which was one of the earliest theme parks in the U.S., spans 10 acres and features play sets, small rides, and even animals. Visitors can also enjoy performances at the Open Storybook Puppet Theater, the oldest continuously operating puppet theater in the country. Last but not least, whether you're seeking a tranquil stroll through the gardens or an exciting adventure on the rides, Children's Fairyland has something for everyone to enjoy.

Air quality monitoring vehicles that helped reduce pollution in West Oakland are expanding statewide

There are many thought-provoking news reports in Oakland, CA. In a recent news article, the topic was about air quality monitoring. Reportedly, California is launching a major expansion of a mobile air quality monitoring program, deploying vehicles equipped with advanced pollution sensors to 64 cities across the state. Moreover, the initiative was first piloted in Oakland and tapped Silicon Valley-based air quality monitoring and mapping company Aclima to lead up the program. Besides, it was also mentioned in the news that the company won a $27 million contract with the California Air Resources Board. Lastly, the statewide expansion comes as new data shows significant improvements in air quality and health outcomes in West Oakland following years of targeted interventions.

Link to map

Children's Fairyland 699 Bellevue Ave, Oakland, CA 94610, United States Head east on Grand Ave toward Bay Pl 138 ft Turn left onto Bay Pl Pass by 7-Eleven (on the left) 0.2 mi Continue onto 27th St 0.2 mi Turn right onto Broadway 0.3 mi Assembly 260 30th St, Oakland, CA 94611, United States

[babyawacs]

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.@deutschland @deutschland @bild @phoenix_de ihr befreit dochnicht euere deutschen ge untermensch ten wenndie schweinerei sichtbarwird ihr naja nutzt noch wasihrmitdenen macht um nocheinen dochnoch zu pluendern tricksen taeuschen tarnen die helfeneuchdann auchnoch beim geldsparen und gesichtwahren thehague youturnon: #in_?the?_interest?ofamerica?_that_thatbaby?lives??? red and blue…