#lmao no one tell my husband

[wanderingarcherviola]

We found yarn! And I bought some. Look!

Mam for scale.

[youhalfwit]

instagram requests :]

(Mostly)

[mx-anthony-janthony-crowley]

here, have a cumulative graph of every time crowley has called aziraphale "angel" <3

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY'S BIG CAT HUSBAND HOUSEHOLD: RELATIONSHIPS

▹ toji and chuuya: get along very very very well. they like to take naps together, that's what the do most. and when they're not sleeping, they're just enjoying the comfortable silence between them. #tojichuu for life

▹ tengen and dazai: best friends ? somehow? i don't know how it happened but they love to fuck around together a lot. they also love to sleep on the floor, in a patch of sunlight together a lot. dazai looks like a twig compared to tengen.

▹ sukuna and tengen: also best buds. they laugh a lot together. it's so fucking loud, they genuinely sound like maniacs sometimes. they also like to playfight a lot, they're constantly roughhousing with each other lmao

▹ satoru and chuuya: satoru likes chuuya sm. he's constantly trying to nuzzle his face against chuuya's he kind of addicted i think. he wants to impress him so bad it's very cute. chuuya thinks he's a little weird but he doesn't really shove him away or anything he just him do what he wants most of the time. satoru purrs a lot when he's with chuuya.

▹ suguru and dazai: ......... suguru bullies dazai. he also tries to make him jealous by getting touchy with chuuya. who btw doesn't really understand what suguru is doing, he thinks he's just being nice and that just pisses dazai off even more lmao

▹ toji and sukuna: the scratching poles of the house. there's always at least one person on them, neither of them get any space ever. they're fine with the scratches though - sukuna's weird ass likes them and toji's just unbothered. also, toji is sukuna's scratchpost. and i am.. somehow. toji's.

▹ sukuna and dazai: sukuna uses him as a head rest. he thinks it's very funny. but they do actually get along surprisingly well idk it's weird. they too, take naps together sometimes and that usually just means that dazai's layed over sukuna in like a very dramatic way.

▹ suguru and chuuya: they like to judge others, but while suguru is very serious abt that chuuya.. gets very irked if suguru teases dazai too much lmao. but then in retaliation, chuuya points at satoru, who's hand is stuck in the cookie jar and they both just shut up and don't bring up their boyfriends anymore. they like to do skincare together though (and they both also have to apply face masks to their boyfriends bc they will whine otherwise)

▹ toji and satoru: satoru's constantly glued to toji, he has the fattest crush on him. satoru also likes to sleep on top of toji a lot.

▹ dazai and toji: dazai ALSO has the fattest crush on toji. toji thinks they're both a little weird<3 aand dazai likes to hold onto toji's biceps a lot.

▹ tengen and chuuya: makes fun of chuuya's height and thinks chuuya's angry face is very cute. but backs off when he gets glares from EVERYBODY. chuuya is the most loved person in the entire household btw

▹ toji and tengen: tengen has an arm over toji's shoulder at all times. i think that he.. also has a fat crush on toji (everybody is literally obsessed with him). they like to talk abt martial arts a lot, it's something they bond over!!!!

▹ sukuna and chuuya: sukuna likes to kiss his forehead?????????

▹ dazai and satoru: the stupids together. they get special treatment from me bc they are Special boys (😭) no but yeah they are unfortunately getting babied the most and they think the glares they get are very funny they know exactly what's happening and they both love it very much

▹ satoru and sukuna: freaks. they like to compare their teeth all the time????????? they also like to stare at each other while they eat?????

▹ suguru and toji: somehow. the mother and the father of the household😭😭😭😭 don't get me wrong they're both still annoying shits but they do make everything go around ok they are the most responsible ones. ? they get along ok. nothing too wild. (they might have some silent beef with each other)

▹ tengen and suguru: suguru keeps side-eyeing him, he thinks he's very loud. tengen doesn't care though, he likes to bother suguru a lot.

▹ satoru and tengen: they really like each other. satoru might also. have a crush on him and tengen might. know that. but he's fine with it idk he sees satoru as like a kitten or smth i think. he likes him!!!!!!!!!!!

[moeblob]

So it occurs to me that I posted most of their lore on my OC blog (though a few posts on here have the story info) and honestly I think it's very important to note that the entire reason a guy from Florida is recruited to help defeat the demon lord isn't him as the hero. His younger brother (by about ten years younger) is the Chosen Hero and... not very good at it. So the goddess (Solei) who had selected the hero has to begrudgingly go back to earth and convince his older brother to help save her world.

(Also Reynold admits to Solei that "Sascha could never be a bad influence. He's the best impulse control I've ever had" and she really doesn't like to hear it. That's terrifying.)

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[yenpondering]

Entitled customers are funny, imagine kicking up such a fuss with our managers that 2 mall security guards had to be called to come mediate all because you and your wife not only can't read but also can't see that our menu literally serves soft poached egg, not a boiled egg, in our Japanese rice bowls

Anyway read the menu properly y'all and ask questions if you're unsure, don't be a dick to hospitality workers especially over dumb shit

[caeslxys]

how is the cr fandom that petty oh my god

but van don't you know it's like a cardinal sin to give a flying fuck about uh. fuck. nuance I think.

[gaycrittercentral]

I’d like to know where the Maxlings came from

Oh hell yeah I’d love to tell!! ok so I had the concept planned as a comic initially but it really got away from me and got too long for me to actually make, so what I’ve got is sort of a script-lookin thing that I would have used as framework for it. I hope that’s an ok format?? I considered trying to write it into more of a prose/fic format but honestly I like it best like this. Ok enough rambling I hope it’s funny to y’all lmao (also it got. Um. Very long)

First scene is in the middle of a beautiful glade deep in the woods, where Sam and Max are dancing in a crowd of magical-looking fairies, grinning at each other. It’s late and there are fairy lights (teehee) illuminating the area, tables of food and drink scattered around the outskirts of the crowd.

S: wow, quite the day we’ve had, eh little pal?

M: you can say that again, Sam! I mean, how often do you get to save an ancient fairy commune by beating up their evil warlock oppressor?

S: and on top of that they throw this little shindig in our honor! I have to say, I never knew lutes could play such great club music.

M: and I’m living for these hors d’oeuvres! We simply must get the recipe.

Behind them, a pair of fairies in big leafy crowns talk quietly.

Fairy queen: these strangers are so delightfully mischievous.

Other fairy queen (they are lesbians): quite! Truly a pair of mortals after our own hearts. How should we reward them for defeating our fell foe?

FQ 1: hmm…I have an amusing idea. What’s better than two chaos-causing mortals?

FQ 2: ahhh, I see! A marvelous idea!

The queens approach Sam and Max, with several other smiling fairies clustered around.

FQ 2: well, my friends, it has been a true pleasure to have you! Before you depart, my queen and I have a gift for you as thanks for defeating the dreaded warlock Snivellion.

(M: tee hee)

FQ 1: here, please take these.

She hands Max a little package made of leaves and tied with twine.

FQ 1: these magical seeds will grow into a wonderful gift if you keep them warm and safe.

M: well, we don’t have the best record with houseplants…

S: but we’ll happily accept your gift anyway! I’m sure they’ll be fun for the few minutes they manage to survive in the harsh climate of our office.

M: if they live through the trip back in my pocket, that is.

FQ 2: oh, trust me, I’m sure they will be every bit as hardy as the two of you.

Max stuffs the leaf packet in his inventory and he and Sam take their leave, waving to the fairies as they go.

S: so long now! Have fun partying eternally!

M: you know, we never did get introduced—don’t suppose I could get your names?

FQ 1: hah, nice try. Fare thee well, mortals!

FQ 2: farewell!

As they go, we see a shot of Max’s inventory, with his gun and maybe a hammer or something to show that’s what it is. The leaf package sits quietly for a moment, before releasing a tiny sprout.

Several months later…

Sometime in the dead of night, they’re both sleeping until Max stirs and sits up with his ears all lopsided, looking kinda disgruntled and tired.

M: I’m gonna go take a dump

S, not quite asleep yet and regretting it: you don’t have to tell me every time. I actually think I’d rather if you didn’t.

M: but what if I fall in? I’d want you to know what I was doing! :D

S: *half-asleep grumbling*

Max wanders off to the bathroom to perch on the can and read a magazine.

M: oh, Martha, you get me. Mostly because we’ve both been to the slammer

Suddenly a baby wail echoes from the toilet (thank you, mammalian diving reflex) and Max immediately screams, flings his magazine to parts unknown and runs for the hills.

M: Sam!! SAM!!! The toilet screamed at me!!!! I think that ill-advised bathroom exorcism we did instead of cleaning the shower drain didn’t work, we must’ve summoned some kind of toilet ghost instead!!

S: what are you talking about, numbskull? You interrupted a perfectly good dream I was having about a discontinued ice cream bar :(

M: just come help me get rid of it! I can’t go with some spectral peeping Tom shrieking at me!

They get to the bathroom and Max hovers by the door as Sam inspects the toilet.

S: Max, you cotton-brained dolt, there’s no ghosts in—GREAT GALLOPING GEYSERS TAP DANCING ON SATURN’S FURTHEST MOON!

He immediately reaches in to save the weird little wet rat almost glaring accusingly at him from the bowl (it could glare a little better if its eyes were functional yet). Max cringes at him.

M: Jesus, Sam, I know we’re both nasty, but I thought we agreed to leave this level of grossness to me! Wait what the fuck is that thing.

S: well, if my outdated recollection of mammalian biology and your horrifying baby pictures is correct, then I’d say it kind of looks like a neonatal lagomorph. Did…did this come out of you?

M: oh please, I think I’d know if I had something like that stashed away somewhere in here. (Vaguely gestures to himself) Now could you get outta the way? If it was just some weird naked rat that crawled up the toilet to yell at me and not a ghost, then I’d like to finish my business in here.

Sam stares at the little rat-looking baby. It has teeth. Teeth like Max’s. He grabs a towel out of the bathroom closet instead and tosses it in the bathtub, then nabs Max by the scruff of his neck and deposits him on top of it.

S: why don’t you just wait down here for a minute while I get this little thing cleaned up?

M: Sam what the hell I don’t need to be housebroken!! Ugh fine but you’re cleaning the towel if—oh my god there’s another one.

S: SWEET SAINT OLGA OF KIEV SINGING OPERA FOR AN AUDIENCE OF PUPPETS WITH A TIN FOIL SUIT AND TIE AND A CREAMED CORN CROWN

Several escaped kits later…

Sam and Max lie together in bed with the kits on top of them, all wiggling around and squeaking faintly. Sam looks vaguely shaken by the experience, but Max just kinda looks like it’s totally normal.

M: haha I thought you guys were just weird little turds! Well, aren’t all children though, come to think of it

S: and you’re sure they came out of your inventory and not some hitherto unknown reproductive system of yours?

M: Sam, at this point I think I’d be able to tell if they’d been up my ass, don’t you?

S: well, sure, but also that’s not where—

M: and besides, my pocket snacks have been going missing all day and this totally explains it. Look, that one’s still got Cheeto dust all over her face!

Sam looks down at one of the girls, who is indeed very orange.

S: ooh. Let me just clean you up there, sweetheart.

He licks her clean gently. She squeaks in approval.

S: huh! What do you know, that really is Cheeto dust.

M: see, I told you so! I still have no idea how they could’ve gotten in there, though…I mean, they look brand new. And also a lot like us.

S: well, mostly like you.

M: nah, see, this one’s got little floppy ears! And lookit their tails, mine’s not long like that. Oh! And this one’s got your nose!! Oh, Sam, it’s so precious I could just squish her like an overripe tomato! …um, but I won’t, obviously.

S: personally, I find myself rather enamored with their tiny little toe beans. Just look at that! They’re so little…

They both giggle delightedly over the kits for a minute, before relaxing back into the pillows. It’s still the middle of the night and they’re both exhausted.

S: so…if we don’t know how they got there, and they don’t look like they could be anybody else’s…

M: 👀

S: I mean unless we want to take them to the vet to check for microchips or something…?

M: too late I’m already coming up with names and dreaming of all the bad words I’m gonna teach them

S: oh, good, so am I. I guess it doesn’t matter how they got there, then…but you really have to wonder…

Something like a half hour ago…

The kits are sitting in a little pile in the middle of Max’s inventory, the opened leaf package below them and Max’s gun leaning against the wall beside them (it’s bigger than they are). Lacey’s face is covered in Cheeto dust and there are a few remaining Cheeto crumbs scattered around them. They have a brief conversation of squeaks, translated into pictures.

Maisie: >:/ *exit sign, there isn’t an emoji for it but just draw one*❗️(she’s bored and she wants out)

Lacey and Crowbar: :o ???

Maisie starts crawling around determinedly until she comes across some kind of rift in reality, through which the toilet bowl is visible. But not to her, of course, because she can’t see just yet. She immediately plummets out of the rift with a tiny shriek, and her siblings react like :0 there’s silence for a second, before Crowbar squeaks and is translated to:

C: dare you to go after her

L: 👀

And that’s it!! Hdkhsshsg here’s hoping it’s at least a little amusing to y’all because it’s very funny to me for whatever reason hdjshsjhddhdjhfjd

Oh! And as a reward for sticking around here’s one of the other first drawings of them I ever did :’> they were very much inspired by @lillylunala’s drawings of Max as a baby if it isn’t obvious, which you should absolutely check out if you haven’t seen them bc my god she really nailed it heheheeee

[todayisafridaynight]

Is that character gay? *points at Mine*

Allegedly.

[savage-rhi]

YOU, MY GOOD FRIEND, HAS OFFICIALLY BROKEN MY JAW THIS MORNING WITH THAT FREAKING JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN GIFSET.

BECAUSE MY FREAKING JAW LITERALLY FELL ON THE FLOOR, AND I AM IN NO CONDITION TO PICK IT UP.

*rewires jaw tentatively* Seriously, I was sitting by my husband having some breakfast and browsing through the dash, AND THAT POST LITERALLY LEFT ME SPEECHLESS.

Bloody hell, I said it once, I said it twice, and now I will said it again,

you, my dear, have MARVELLOUS taste.

MARVELLOUS.

@nemo-of-house-hamartia HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS, GET YO ASS SOME INSURANCE! I CAN'T KEEP FIXING YOUR JAW OUT OF POCKET 😭😭😂😂!!

OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. That's ANOTHER for blorbo-man bingo that we have in common 😂 I want to make sure we crossed our T's and dotted our I's here so 'scuse me while I whip this out:

(Translation: Below is my male blorbo list I want to see how our numbers stack shot for shot in no particular order 😂)

(Added Carlos cause after our last conversation, FUCK IT HE'S ON LOL)

(^^2 in 1 blorbo gif!)

(^ Another 2 for 1)

I probably have a shit ton more I'm keeping in the back vault somewhere, but is there anyone else I need to mark off 😂😂😂

[pynkhues]

Armand's hand with his long fingers on Lestat's face in that catacombs scene was so hot.

In the sixth gif on the right of this set when Armand has his hand on Lestat's neck and then suddenly uses his thumb on his chin and a finger at his jaw to tilt his head to the side to bite him...

[acuar-io]

Visited my grandparents today I had sm fun looking at photos and just seeing everyone after so long!!

[saturfied]

me when my sister randomly calls jeffy jiju :

[mieczyhale]

"Never apologize for putting stupid in its place."

- t.

[sunkern-plus]

also i'm sick of people treating emotional eating as something that makes you pathetic

it's LITERALLY consensus that it's caused by poor emotional regulation (which is caused by trauma or disability most of the time) and issues related to trauma and it's often genetic (purely anecdotal but i literally come from an entire line of emotional eaters)

and also from the autistic and adhd community i feel like the only autistic/adhd comorbid person who COMPULSIVELY and EMOTIONALLY eats and everyone on tumblr seems to like. not do that. even though compulsive and emotional eating is more often associated with more severe presentations of adhd/more common in afaik low-middle and middle support autism presentations and autism that's frequently comorbid with intellectual disability so i guess you people don't wanna be like Those Autistics, which, somehow includes me!