#lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes

[zemnarihah]

much to think about.

[stgosupremacy]

MY SATOGOU GOODBYE RANT.

so yeah i said i would do one so here i am. honestly dont know how long this will be so let's get stuck in lmao <33

I'm starting after the 'im glad i met you part', bc i kind of already did a post on that anyway lol (and just wanted to add, in the dub they changed it to 'I'm sure glad i met you,' and Ash says it so soft omg i literally died on the spot watching it ;-;

(headsup ignore the fact some of the images are off a youtube channel i couldn't find the scenes💀)

so i hope this is all in order, but this bit is so so SO sweet when Goh tells him 'thanks for reaching out for me' like no surprise i was literally crying at that point like sgdxkjnfsgf it's so sweet to me that without Ash none of his journey would have really happened, but tbf you could say the same for all of his companion tbh. either way, i am very glad goh met satoshi too omg <3 🥺

theennnnnn this part is Ash just offering some sweet words of advice and comfort, talking ab their dreams ect, like, nothing too bittersweet to see here, but i guess you can say the way he said 'WE' and meant both of them is sweet lmao

OK so on the palm of our hands thing i have a few things to say

first of all i love how Ash knew that he knew what to continue with bc they are just so in sync with each other ofc <3 and OFC they had to put that scene in for the last episode, like when it was in the Mewto episode for the first time, i was honestly screaming of how cute it was LIKE THE FACT ASH MADE THE LITTLE ADD ON OF 'OUR HANDS' IN THE FIRST TIME THEY DID IT JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE CUTER EJHSKF

but anyways as much as i love this scene because of how 'the future is in the palm of our hands', can be interpreted in some otherways, 👀 I also couldnt help but thing about something else.

after/before the Project mew stuff actually started/finished (pretty sure it was after,) we see a scene of Goh, Gary and Horace using the 'palm of our hands' phrase together, and yeah its rlly cute lmao, but i was kind of hoping it was something unique for Ash and Goh, not trying to be a fusspot, but i think the scene now feels slightly less special to me now Goh used it with some other people?

I mean sure, ash and goh were still the first people who did it, and it IS their kind of thing lmao, like they created it. Even tho it was just an initial thought, it is still really sweet that goh used it with others don't get me wrong <3

when i was watching this i was like no way this is it lol like are you not gonna confess

jokes but thankfully they made a bittttt more to it (and good bc if they left it there I would be sitting there like what)

so they start to walk away from each other and you see Goh is still quite sad while Ash is still holding up, my heart was dying </3

STOP IT WHEN GOH STOPPED AND HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY AAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺

BUT OFC

OFC ASH HAS TO CALL OUT TO HIM AND THE WAY GOH'S EYES HAVE THE LITTLE SPARKLE WHEN HE HEARS HIS VOICE 💖 The fact Ash actually thought while he was walking away 'oh shit need to check up on the bf' lol and climbed up the little hill to wave him off again is the cutest thing; CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE this made their whole goodbye for me tbh 💕💕💕

SUPPORTIVE BROS FOR REAL <3

ofc they want each other to achieve their dreams aww

ok but THIS

the bit where they nod at each other is so comforting to me like it's weird, but it gave me a little more satisfaction i'll say, lmao. also gives you a hint that they are wrapping up the goodbyes fully so it gave me some very brief preparation time 😢

and with that, Goh runs off into the distance.

</3 (my boy has grown up sm) 🥺

OK i do love that when he runs off, he's more confident, and when it switches back to Ash, it has him watching over Goh until he can't see him anymore, which is rlly cute <333 ahhh they're so pure man

Ash runs off to his new journey too, and he begins to talk about Pallet Town to Pikachu...

Thats it

yeah

SOOOOO BASICALLY THIS IS MORE OF THE RANT SECTION:

uhmmm so first things first. Did i like the goodbye for them? Well, yeah, it was quite cute, especially the end part where Ash gives him that last bit of encouragement and called out his name, because SHEESH if they left that part out and gave them that first goodbye without Ash calling out to him, and they just left each other....yeah, i wouldn't be happy.

see, i just kind of thought they deserved a bit better. It was v cute and all, but like they've been through so much together 😭 😭 😭 😭 like I'm saying this as a shipper but still 😂 tbf if they hugged I probably would have cried but let's be honest I could cry at anything at this point

but hey what we got was pretty cute, I just would have tweaked some things because honesty this duo are literally the closest I've ever seen in the anime, and I would have hoped for a little bit more, BUT IT'S FINE IT HAPPENED *mentally counts*

9 MONTHS AGO (??? where has the time gone)

but thank you for coming to my TED talk <33

[ashtraythief]

Hey! So ive been a long time reader of ur underneath verse (since like.. 2018? Maybe even 2017?) and i just wanted to drop by and tell u how much im enjoying rereading ur writing! Like in general i think this is one of my fav fics series just bc its so extensive and well done and thought out and fleshed out so well it works so well? Like seeing all the different angles and the way u choose to frame things is really fun for me and kinda inspires my own writing in some aspects.

Ive never read the whole thing all in one go before so ive decided to do that right now and im just about done with the pied pipers song - more specifically willys chapter. And i kinda needed to let u know that ur series really stands out to me just bc of how many glimpses into other characters and all these different povs of the same thing like on it stands out on a technical level but then ur actual writing of these things is so good and compelling and like as an outsider pov bitch it hits the spot for me so well? Like ur writing is never stale and its always interesting.

I specifically wanted to take this time to mention that i really love willy and winstons characters and how u went about it. Like im ngl the way u wrote them kinda makes me want to cry tears of happiness for them bc they have found ppl who appreciate them and they have connections with other ppl but then the bittersweet tang of jensen and willy is kinda fucking me up rn /pos djjdjdjd like in general u really do the bittersweet jensen is stuck undercover angle really well and it HURTS so good

But yes i dont really have a good concise message or comment to leave beyond the fact that i keep stopping every few sentences to get up and jump bc im so excited about what im reading i need to get rid of that excess energy lol so sorry if this is all over the place and a really messy message! I just really wanted to let u know how much im enjoying reading it all rn. Thank you so much for sharing ur writing with us and for continuing to write for this series its so fun!

omg nonnie, I'm kinda speechless here (this is the second wonderful message in two days so I'm kinda overwhelmed. is it send wonderful messages week somewhere??)

I just am so grateful and this message made me so happy. never apologize for maybe not having a five point outline lol, this is amazing.

The underneath verse has always been my fandom baby, so praise for it is already amazing, but the pied piper fic and Winston and Willy epsecially, it just makes my heart so full. Ten years ago, they definitely started out as stock characters of mob drivers, because I didn't think this fic would get so big, but then it did, and Willy especially became a real character. a) because I knew he'd fall in love with Jensen too, as anyone does really and b) because I looooove the bittersweet undercover Jensen shtick where I write from other character's POV and the reader knows how wrong they're getting it but they don't *mu har har* (yeah I'm a little mean sometime. sorry?)

but in all seriousness, the Willy chapter, I'ev been working on that for months. And I kept adding things and rewriting things and trying to get it perfect even though I know that most people who read the story mostly care about Jared and Jensen (which is totally fair and understandable), but I care about him and there are a few people out there who do too (and I love you for it, so much), but with Willy, I just wante to do this /right/. I've come to love him so much, and he's come to be so important to Jensen, it felt like he and Winston really deserve their own story told even though that's kind of ridiculous because they're not real, but they're a little real to me now. All this to say, nonnie, this comment and your appreciation of Willy means so fucking much to me. And my poor alpha reader who read like four drafts of this (seriously, M. is a saint) and my beta readers who then had to beta four iterations of this. To know that this effort is appreciated this much honestly make me cry a little (I am not having the greatest time right now, so I cry easily but the point still stands. Thank you.)

This message was actually such an energy boost I'm currently trying to fix the next timestamp, lol so I'll have something to post next month. You're a true treasure, nonnie <3

[bonesandthebees]

okay so like i was gonna just start on this tonight and get the general ideas down and finish this when i was Awake and Functioning but then i started rambling so uhhh jazz handss

take me describing the diff energies ur fics give off, i am sorry if this is uncomprehensible fjwaewf (is that even a word?? incomprehensible? ye-)

through a glass divine: DEFFFF rainy day vibes, the au feels very Elegant to me even though glass!wilbur himself is very much not, when I read glass I get the same vibes as being in a car /pos, it's comforting but can get intense at times, sometimes with no warning. like one minute your head is against the glass (heh, pun unintended lol), and ur looking out at the streetlamps, the next the breaks are SLAMMED and u get whacked against the seatbelt lmfaoooo (this is all /pos !! i love the angst lol)

world forgetting: FOGGG, that's the first thought that pops into my head, things are unclear first and it's a little eerie but there's also something comforting about it (i will use this word a lot bc . well ur writing is comforting hehehe), the first half of wf was very exciting, it reminded me of when i used to have my mcu marathons, edge of my seat, shoving popcorn into my face, and just glee, the first few chapters with wf especially with the combat made me so fucking giddy lmfaooo i had so much fun reading it, the second half was a lot more calm and melancholy, it was defff sitting on the couch while it rains outside vibes, like MM the hurt comfort?? give me a blanket and a pillow to squeeze bc hot damnn

stars and their children: stars man . hooweeee, this fic was binging a 12 season show vibes, you invest a lot into it and wow the emotional damage?? for real. this fic was late night rants at sleepovers, theorizing n coming up with silly conspiracy theories (i think this was when i really started reading the asks, so for me it has a lot of those vibes tied to it), when i read stars… i feel a lot of Awe. it feels big, it feels important, it also feels like im reading a very fancy novel from a very big library, like i feel like i've stepped into a massive multi-tiered library and plucked my favourite book from its shelf, i can imagine the hardcover being absolutely gorgeous, it gives me the same vibes as getting assigned a book to read in class and having your mind blown /pos from it, like "damn i understand why they make us read this bc wow"

(fun fact i have ur ao3 page bookmarked on my toolbar lmaoooo)

honey and tangerines: well . this one just gives me island and coastal vibes lolll u described them very well, but okay from a reading perspective? besides indie movie lmao. i'd say… hanging out with a friend you haven't seen in a while. it's familiar, it's bittersweet, it's thrilling. honey and tangerines gives me the vibes of doing something youve been wanting to for awhile but were always too scared to. pushing your boundaries. it's all those classic "finally living life vibes", staying out till 3 am, finally getting around to decorating your room, going on a roadtrip. when i read honey and tangerines, it feels like i'm experiencing life. all the prev fics either feel like novels or movies, but hats feels like life

what the water gave me: ngl when i read this i just feel such pure emotion that i cry like idek how to explain it man. it's so all encompassing /pos it does give me staying up late in my room with fairy lights vibes though, dunno why. just gives off that same warm energy

A DUSTY TOMB OMGGOJEAWE i need to reread that anyways

a dusty tomb: straight off the bat, playing dnd. dnd is so much fun and i have so many happy memories from it and a dusty tomb defff gives off those vibes, chaos, freeing, family. it also gives off the vibe of finding a piece of old writing in a buried notebook and reading it and going "wtf?? when did i write this this is amazing" maybe that's just bc it feels like u read my mind writing it lmao it's perfect i adore it so much and i have reread it an unholy amount of times, i just get the vibes of sitting criss cross on the floor and reading it, it's not necessarily a comfy position but it's enjoyable nonetheless, just a happy moment for oneself, it feels like giving yourself a treat, self care, all of that good stufff

no time confounds me: def feels like watching a tv show /pos, it def feels like smth i'd put on w my stepmom or my birth mom and just absolutely fucking Vibe to it bro, that fic is suchhh a vibe, i'd sink into my couch and get HOOKED, it also ofc brings w it all the vibes of just where i live LMAO, and the motorcycling reminds me of my dad <333 i miss motorcycling with him dawggg it's so much fun, but yeahhh. all the vibes described in the fic just make me want to go out for a hike in a forest lmao, i love it. also hot chocolate. this fic is defff drinking hot chocolate vibes

nocturnal animals: ooohh this one is defff late night vibes, working late on hw and looking out ur window and just taking a moment to appreciate the stars n stuff, also windy day vibes, this def feels like a novel my friend would shove at me to read and i'd be like "brooo i dont even LIKE vampires" and theyd be like "no bro just trust me" and then i'd be really bored one day so i'd pick it up and then get addicted . and then in this hypothetical series that has like a billion books i'd go to the library and borrow them all and binge them in a week lmfao, i love this fic sm ngl, i would proudly display this fic on my bookshelf (well i mean, i would literally display all of ur fics on my bookshelf KING i would have a shelf dedicated to ur fics 100%)

okay… i think those are all the main fics, there're a couple more that i've read but i am . getting really really reallyyy tired and idek if any of this is comphrensible lmfaooo 😭 😭 😭

i hope u enjoyed bee <333 tldr: i love ur writing and i have core memories attached to all of these fics and they are all special to me in their own way <33

ohhhh these are so cool to read icy (sorry it took me so long to respond I've been so busy lately)

lmao love all the drama in glass being compared to a car braking super suddenly. rainy car drives is definitely not the vibe I think it has in my head but that's super sweet to imagine :)

comparing stars to a Big Fancy Book makes me so happy thank you so much. I have this absolutely gorgeous fancy version of Dune with a stunning cover and I always imagine something kind of similar as the 'cover' for stars in my head so i love that you imagine that too

in contrast you and i feel the exact same about honey and tangerines. it's definitely that kind of bittersweet reconciling friendship vibe. saying it feels like life means so much thank you <33 thats exactly what I was going for

to me what the water gave me feels like swimming in a warm tropical ocean at night which might be a bit on the nose but yeah that's what I think of. but fairy lights in a room sounds so nice I love that

awww I love that idea for dusty tomb. just rereading something nostalgic and wonderful and feeling so comforted by it. that makes me smile a lot to imagine :)

hot chocolate and watching a tv show YEAHHHH you get it that's exactly what i was going for from no time confounds me. also that's so funny that you mention motorcycling with your dad bc that's where my descriptions of riding motorcycles comes from. my dad always used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle when I was a little kid, it was so much fun

oooo windy day for nocturnal animals is interesting but I love it. also god you saying it feels like a series with dozens of books reminds me of this vampire series i read in middle school that had like 10 books it's absolutely nothing like nocturnal animals but now I'm having a nostalgia trip thinking about it lol

thank you icy this was so sweet to read :)

[prisonguards]

I am sending this ask because I need something to distract me while I am out of internet so feel free to ignore, or delete this. So hi! It's the person who mentioned the smallidarity life series partners thing and I am being pushy by just saying it now LOL

I think if they teamed up for a series, it would start with them finding each other and Jimmy wanting to team. Joel would light heartedly half joke about how he'll do it but only to show he's clearly the Superior player in the series bc he will be the first to MAKE SURE Jimmy doesn't die first as his partner.

They'd build a base together and Jimmy would be dragged into conflict after conflict because Joel likes to cause problems but Joel will come running to help him if HE causes problems too even if he's "late" (he was there as soon as Jimmy called) and complains about needing to save Jimmy from himself afterwards.

They are both loyal, but I think Jimmy is more loyal in the sense that I don't think he'd be capable of betraying Joel or hurting him in a way that matters while I can imagine Joel choosing to betray Jimmy but ONLY if it will garuntee him a win or at the very least something as valuable as a life when he needs it. [Joel is attached though. No matter what, he'd be so very attached despite his best efforts not to be.]

Jimmy dies first. I know Joel was the reason for at least one of Jimmy's deaths. Whether he lost his final life because of himself or because of Joel doesn't matter. Joel will be upset either way, and he will kill whoever caused Jimmy's death directly. And if he did it to himself, then he will kill whoever took any of Jimmy's other lives as revenge. He'd be a lone wolf for the rest of the series and while he may make an alliance of obligation with other reds or other non reds, he will never be loyal or attached to them like he was Jimmy.

Every episode he does without Jimmy will be spent making jokes about him while also simultaneously missing him and admitting to it on the very rare occassions. I don't think Joel would win but if he did, it'd be bittersweet I think. He won, he's happy, he kills himself to join his little buddy in the afterlife.

OH PLEAAASEEE. my internet was. SO BAD when I got your ask and I prommy I tried to answer it SUPER enthusiastically but it got eaten. twice. because of the bad data and then I forgot to answer it when I had better connection cause Im so scatterbrained. AND THEN I got back from vacation and got swamped with work and couldnt finish replying but seriously I could nawt want anything more. Life Series Smallidarity is my evvvveeeerything they mean. SO SO SO fucking much to me. you and your thoughts are ALWAYS ALWAAYYYYYSS so so so fucking welcome here in my inbox. PLEASE.... I adore them

ALLLLLL OF THIS IS SO GOOD AND SOOO REAL. you know them Perfectly. this all feels so so real. I need this more than anythiiing next season. I really do. I just MMMMNNGNMMMNG. you got them so perfect Im gonna SOB. I think they would meet eachother First again too. Like Joel is the first player Jimmy sees all season, and yup. they do their whole spiel where Jimmy asks something of Joel but this time Joel accepts it— its only to prove hes so much better than everyone else, than Scott and Tango and the whole goddamn Southlands because hes the fucking best and hell keep Jimmy by his side and alive when they couldnt.

They really would cause. soooo many problems. Joel is. Always so annoying (endearing) and so fighty and shitty and when Jimmy gets a little touch of confidence and ego hes SUCH a shithead too. theyd talk their way into a lot of problems theyd have to fight (or cowardly scurry) their way out of.

dunno if this is as realistic/in character but thinking abt Joel being the first red name again, or an early one. through either his own overconfident idiocy or. even. semi on purpose so he can be a violent mess. but they ignore the red rules and him and Jimmy stay allied. maybe Joel claims he keeps attacking Jimmy and trying to chase him off, but its not working. Jimmys too stupid (read; too loyal) to keep his distance. just the vibes of that 3rd Life era red x yellow/green allyship combined with Joels insane longevity and threat level as a red name in Last Life.

anon. anon I am speaking directly into your ear you have no idea how insane Joel post Jimmy death makes me. Joel expressing his loss and mourning through vengeance even if its (at least partially) his fault OOOOOOOHHHH. OOOOH OH. you get HIM and you get ME. the joking about him in his absence intercut with genuine care and missing him. when he does that it drives me CRAZY it would be even more batshittttt if they were direct allies

HE WON... HES HAPPY... HE KILLS HIMSELF TO JOIN HIS LITTLE BUDDY IN THE AFTERLIFE.... ANON YOU BROKE MY FUCKING HEARTTTTT. I think a Jimmy first dead and a Joel win while theyre allied would be INSANITY it would be PEAK thematic yumminess. especially with Joel being responsible for taking one of Jimmys lives. oooooh you have to sacrifice what means the most to you to win. this is a cruel fucking game and only loss and sacrifice and loneliness wins it for you.

anon you have made me do something drastic. help.

HELP

(I have started a traffic smallidarity PMV)

anyway silliness aside youve really got to the heart of why they would be suuuch a powerful and heart wrenching team and why I love traffic smallidarity so much. all of this is so real and canon feeling because so much of it has. happened before. even with them being only loose allies and there being. so little content technically. theres just so much potential there and if they were teamed it would be amped up even more and absolutely destroy me. anon I have been rotating everything you said and the traffic smallidarity possibilities in general in my head since I got this, youve really made my week (SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG I HATE BEING BUSY,,,,) and you really have such an excellent read on themmm, this is why traffic smallidarity is still my fav and what got me crazy abt them. augh. me when theres Them.

[vacantgodling]

would you ever write a post-apocalyptic story? bonus: would you write zombies?

thank you for the ask!

technically speaking i do have an apocalypse wip—i don’t talk about it Much bc there’s a lot i have to figure out and unfortunately i don’t get much brain rot for it bc apocalypses aren’t REALLY my thing. however i can talk about it a bit! it’s in my wip intros

so, the wip is called the white shirts. basically, the world ended cuz uh. ww3 bs and sommore shit i haven’t truly figured out what’s going on aside from your stereotypical the world is ending vibes lol. however, it’s been several years removed from the cataclysmic event like 20 probably.

prosper and jane morning (twins, 16) are born into a small, rural town who’s backbone is its fire department bc a lot of fires crop up due to the idk. radiation and shit. one day however a bunch of expensive cars pull up (shit they’ve never seen) and men with shades and suits (with white button downs) and essentially massacre everyone there. no REAL reason is given (and none ever will be why this is happening isn’t the point of this wip) however, prop and jane manage to escape the massacre but this isn’t supposed to happen so the white shirts start hunting them.

as they’re on the run they meet an older guy marin (19) who is also being hunted by the white shirts and he tells them of how he’s trying to make it from where they are (midwest) to the east coast because he’s heard there are ships there that can take them to europe which, while fucked, isn’t as fucked as america is. the twins decide to go with him (tho prosper more unwillingly because he doesn’t trust marin) and yeah. just them getting hunted and going through it and the ending is very bittersweet :)

in terms of zombies though i probably never will write them. even though train to busan is one of my favorite movies, i’m actually not a huge fan of zombies or the zombie genre. it’s not only boring but it’s just like. gross to me lol. and it feels like there’s only so many stories you can tell within that framework, like zombies and the apocalypse have been done to DEATH. so unless i found a very very very original idea for them that i want to explore i highly doubt i’ll ever have zombies in any wip they just don’t do it for me

feel free to send me a writers would you ever :3

[sostrangerous]

Sooo... I've been talking to my friends about your fanfic and we've been wondering where do you get your inspiration from? I mean, where did the idea for this fanfic come from and if anything about it is kind of... personal? If you don't feel comfortable answering, don't feel pressured! I'm just very addicted to it, I've reread everything about 5 times 😭

ooh i love this question!! im gonna be kinda long winded here so sorry in advance 🙏🏼

ive been a big reader since i was a child, and ive been writing fanfiction since i was 13 or so. this basically means ive been practicing writing stories for at least 10 years, and I've gotten slowly better at it as I get older. it's fun, and i like doing it, so that's kind of the reason I write in the first place

my fics usually come together from a small idea, and then snowball from there. like, fyck started as silly self indulgent porn and then turned into what it is, because for me i really discover characters and stories as im writing them. when i write i feel like im 'meeting' them and learning more about them. for example mark is the catalyst for fyck and its built around him, as I develop his character and his life the story molds around him

it's probably obvious from the way im talking about them, but even though i write rpf, my characters are 100% fictional characters, and I think about them that way. i get some inspiration from Mark as a real person but the character comes from my imagination and things I think would be interesting to write avout

I like writing about things that are stressful and upsetting, i think in part bc im kind of a narrative adrenaline junkie. if im not feeling emotions intensely, usually negative emotions, then im not interested in writing because it's boring to me. however im still very invested in characters being happy at the end. it's kind of a form of self soothing; i make up a guy, i put him through hell, but throughout his suffering the anchor of stability and happiness is always there waiting for him (even if he doesn't know it yet). i admire people who can write really bleak or bittersweet endings but i personally don't care to, at least so far in my writing career

anyway!! yes, writing characters is fun, and they're very separate from me. Mark in fyck, or jaemin in igbl have mindsets that are not mine, and are extremely maladaptive. it's fun to explore. however there are always little moments that reflect my own experiences in life (they're often the most stressful to write lol) but usually i don't even realize how much i relate to a certain emotion until I'm already writing it. im pretty self aware but not self omniscient

hopefully, this was interesting and kind of answered your question :) ty for the ask <3

[negative-speedforce]

for Earth-2002 or Earth-2022 your choice :) 🛏️💍🐈🌈🌸💡

Gonna go with E-2022 bc I can lol-

🛏️ BED: What do your OCs dream about?

Pippa: Usually either something generic like going to work naked, or making out with her archnemesis

Onnie: Trauma nightmares, going to work naked, weird Negative Speed Force induced temporal nightmares, making out with her archnemesis

Jessi: Eobard finding her and killing her for real this time, losing her money and connections, having a voice crack on stage, being actually happy for once

Hyun-ki: Getting back with his band, Jessi letting him go, going on stage naked, weird stuff from movies he saw like 15 years ago

💍 JEWELRY: What are considered luxury items in the world of your WIP?

Due to its 1920s/1930s-esque setting, alcohol is a major luxury item on Earth-2022, since prohibition was never lifted. Especially if it's champagne or some kind of expensive liquor, most stuff is "bathtub booze", which is usually laced with all kinds of toxic chemicals. It's much more difficult to get the real stuff, and it's very, very, expensive.

🐈 CAT: Does the world of your WIP have any superstitions or folklore?

Not really, however, ghosts are very real and very common, and unlike the half-alive spirits of Earth-2002 a la Hailey Laurence, these ghosts are much more like your traditional movie ghost. Also, tobacco was never proven to cause cancer there, so smoking is much more common.

🌈 RAINBOW SLOTH: Wild card! Share one thing about your WIP that you have been waiting to be asked about!

Onnie accidentally killed Earth-2022's Jay in the same method that left E-2002's Jay wheelchair-bound; blasting him out a third story window using her lightning.

🌸 PERFUME: Describe the setting of your WIP using the five senses.

Reach around the back of a filing cabinet on the ground floor of STAR Labs and pull on it with all your strength. Immediately, light floods your eyes, and soft jazz trickles into your ears. The air reeks of cigarettes, and people old and young, men and women, and everything in between, sit and laugh, dressed in their finest clothes. You sit at one of the tables, and a woman in a red flapper dress sits on the table, grinning smugly. She passes you down a sip of her drink. The red wine is bittersweet on your tongue, dry and flavorful. She winks, wobbling the table as she stands, leaving to return to her friends.

💡LAMP: Talk about a scene you are working on—is it easy or difficult? Why?

Currently, I'm working on the scene in which Pippa starts her corruption arc, and that's super hard to write, since I have to be kinda subtle about it, because Onnie doesn't notice at first, but Pippa's so sweet that her acting like anything less than an angel would be super out of character for her.

[whomst-the-hell]

ok wait but lets revisit camp camp tim drake real quick bc i have Thoughts:

i was debating between photography camp and like,, hero camp? but the only visual element of hero camp i was sure of was blanket cape, and space kid already has one of those sooooo. photography camp.

i wanted him to start at camp pre-figuring out batmans identity so at the time of the camp camp show hes 8

he signed himself up for camp bc he was bored of hanging out alone in his house during break

he insists on returning every year, even post-adoption

idk what the age brackets for summer camp normally are but ive decided camp cambell is 6-18 which seems unrealistic but shhhhh

tim stops going at 17 bc hes a businessman now :( so he attended for 9 years

the campers figure out hes robin kind of slowly over a couple years (max was first ofc)

space kid still doesnt know lol

in this specific au im going with a “well meaning but distant” kind of batfamily

tim thinks of them as more,, friendly coworkers than “family” (except cass of course. cass and tim are brother and sister no matter what idgaf) so tims much more. polite? stiff? with them.

and tim was just like “i have a lot of friends at photography camp, pls let me go.” and they were like “haha ok nerd”

so what im saying is when videos or photos or stories or whatever the fuck come out about tims time at camp (full of cursing, arson and physical violence) the bats are. Shocked.

if i ever set a story in this au itd probably be pretty far post-camp camp when tims like. 19? and itd follow the batfam slowly figuring out the Wild Shit tim did at camp and how feral tim is naturally, and realising how strained their relationship is

ending option A: the batfam is closer than ever for the experience

ending option B: tim leaves (serious bittersweet vibes bc aww the batfam but also he becomes like a counselor or smth which makes him much happier/healthier so.)

mostly itd be a comedic outsider pov kind of fic exploring the batshit insane nature of camp cambell hijinks, through the lens of my fav superheroes

+ i love exploring the aged up cc characters its always so fun

[cielospeaks]

well 2/3 aint bad lol

and to be fair the f h one at least has alfred and timerra who are cool so. :/ (if this means solm soon im very hype bc i like those guys. they give me sheperds vibes. mom as the ghb would be fun too! gosh please)

but like. -go which for two years in a row has had extremely insensitive events that just revolve around the same unfunny joke of “riyo art is soOoo wacky XD” all of a sudden has an event that not only features a variety of artists but also isnt fucking making a joke out of real people losing their lives. good for you. theres still minor problems i have (like why have a difficulty spike on a game available for 24 hours, and minor gripes but thats more towards the game in general lol) but it was overall muuch better than previous years

and g-f. perhaps the most fucking surprising of all. has a cute collab w sanrio which is actually wholesome and sweet. ofc its the same characters as always but i dont mind so much bc i can write fun and bittersweet/emotional fics. same w go’s one.

and like. honestly. f-h could have been so much worse. im just irritated that the emotionally manipulative slimeball is the focus even tho its not even his year’s story just because he has a muscular physique and is a fan favorite. like idk. i love characters that are complicated, i love characters that are little bastards. but i love it when they are called out for it. like at least the author admits they are nasty or has underlying tones of “yea theyre sympathetic but you dont really wanna see them succeed bc it means they are giving up on their decency and morality/mercy/ect”. or like. you’re enjoying watching them be awful and thats fun bc everyone is a jerk. but like in f-h they have so many nasty characters, a guy who wants to marry his sister off to her abusers and has no problem kidnapping and forcing into labor poor children but throws a moral fit if he accidentally kidnaps a rich kid, a person so obsessed with their first love that they perpetuate a failing government and manipulate an abused child through his fear of abandonment to essentially lead to his adopted brother’s death just so she can get the kid descendant of her first love in charge of a country she doesnt even want to be in charge of, and theyre all seen as sympathetic and likeable by the series creators and bc they dont fucking think a big majority of the fans.

[goji-pilled]

Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka. 

(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)

(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)

Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.

On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.

Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)

In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj

(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)

Okay okay I'll get back to it!

So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).

Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.

Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK

While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!

Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.

Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)

Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out. 

As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):

"Unit! Are you back in the game?"

"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"

"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"

"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"

"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"

There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I do feel better."

That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)

To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.

After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:

Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!! 

Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.

Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain? 

And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.

In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."

But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.

It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.

And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them  so much man.

[0tivez]

im a sucker for dad!everyone and I have no idea why

okay so tokyo revengers spoilers below

---------

when akkun jumped off the roof in like episode 4?? (I found a way to not say the word LMFAO) the sound the put when he makes contact with the ground is the sound a box filled with books makes when thrown off a window and it reminded me of the bread video bc its such a dry sound why would they do that

Literally just for the hot guys someone send help-

I wanna say thats kinda a meet cute and lowkey adorable that he mentioned meeting up but 'remind me and we'll arrange it' sounds like a business transaction im so sorry ✋ if you feel comfortable sharing the long story im all ears!! I love long stories 👀 feel free to go off topic more often I well I always do that anyway 😭

OKAY oh boy, where do I start. Its literally so simple to explain but im dramatic as fuck so let me indulge myself ANYWAY so basically we were talking through chat, we spent almost everyday talking and it was sweet and funny and stuff, ya know?? or maybe I was convincing myself he was lol so it was just a normal day after school and we were talking and I think at some point he got boring of just texting so he said "give me a sec im gonna go play with a flamethrower" mid convo and I think something inside of me died. kinda glad he gave me the ick tho, I don't think I liked him that much :/

much hatred for the "I watch real shows lol" >:( specially bc all of the people saying that watched dragon ball or pokemon 😭 when I was younger I usually responded like "haha yeah...ig :,)" but now im ready to smack a bitch; you know what they say, violence isn't the question its the answer 😌

You're gonna make me have a soft spot for eremika TT it sounds very bittersweet when you explain it, but it does make sense why romance wasn't a main plot (I dunno if this is the correct way to say it). AND JEAN! he grew on me so yes, he definitely deserves to be first choice>>>

I think im gonna watch the anime after it finished airing or something. I always say im gonna do so many things but then I get distracted by fanfics lol watch me scream

Aki and Megumi found family trope??? 👀 this is making me think of hurt/comfort followed by pure angst, hurt/no-comfort huh :)

KANEKI??? HE VOICES KANEKI???? I loved watching Tokyo ghoul (I watched two seasons!) :( I had the softest spot for Kaneki but I refused to accept it bc I was scared were gonna make fun of me LMFAO I did have a massive crush on Hide tho, and was very vocal about that lol

I remember watching a gif set of baby tanjiro and my heart melted; same thing with Yuuji I think

Hollywood only thinks of making money over hiring good vas and like random celebrities voicing characters isn't bad ig?? like quality wise, the movie is watchable and entertaining, but still I'd like to see vas recognised for their talent a lot more.

Chris pratt *massive sigh* I heard the only reason why he was taking so many va gigs was bc he didn't get the vaccine so he couldn't go to work or smth; I could be wrong tho.

wait, which dub were you talking about?? the jjk dub??

NO.

NOT GOJOGUMI OR WHATEVER IS CALLED 😭 why?? why with the kids?? 😭

ive seen monstrosities on ao3, I could name them but huh...

Gege I a sadist and I refuse to think to think otherwise LMFAO I little part of me thinks that he might see himself in gojo a bit too much and thats why he doesn't like him lmfao

I think my brain blocked the opinion bc I cant remember?? I think they talked about how the hidden inventory arc made no sense bc apparently gojo is constantly jumping dimensions or something?? and like fair ig bc I know shit about this series but?? I was so confused, I think it just short circuited. Its that a take on his character?? I think I worded it wrong now that I think about it, I love her so much she's the best of the best but I felt attacked, and thats on me 😔 she also hasn't read the manga so we're Ig in even common ground lol

YOU WILL GET IN!!! It sounds so fun :D im sending you as much positive vibes as I can <3 disabilities law sounds interesting! do you have any idea what you'd like to specialise in the future??

I'll be on the lookout for the honorary dilf 😌

right?? wtf 😭 ive only seen college aus in which the pairing is like teacher/student with nanami and like I don't mind but I want my student/student college aus LET ME INDULGE 😤 thanks for hyping me up :,) its gonna be more fluffy+suggestive id say?? def not angst bc I cant write angst for nanami; Shibuya already did that for me lmfao

tho if im honest, I think im stuck bc I keep comparing every sentence to the gojo fic I uploaded lmfao

<making you blush3

sending wet slurpy kisses right back 😌💕

I hope you have a good week! and sorry for the late reply, I was stuck using Tumblr mobile for a while 😅

OH AND IM WATCHING THE JJK MOVIE ON THURSDAY 🥳 think Im gonna put mascara solely on my lower lashes just bc 🤷‍♀️ I hope the song at the end doesn't hurt me too much tho lmfao it will

-🥳 anon

ps: I probably should've put this at the beginning but I feel like this wasn't the best response?? like I feel like the energy in my ask is a little down, and I think it might've been a bit venty as well?? I don't now if you can feel it TT I felt a bit like a poser after I finished writing this and I'm sorry if anything I wrote came off wrong :,)

STOP APOLOGISING

anyways lol there is a long ass story about a guy i liked in hs under the cut 👀 it's really long tina i'm so sorry 😭

OHH OKAY LMAOOOO YEAH HE JUST WENT plop

LMAOO YEAH that's what i thought too 😭 my friends got the ick when he said that

okay so!!

i met this dude in 10th grade and he was a senior (12th grade here). we had this jukebox kinda thing in the backyard of our school and we got the keys for it that year, which meant that we could play songs for everyone to hear during lunch breaks. so, that week, i went to watch bohemian rhapsody and OBVIOUSLY had queen brainrot and i was OBSESSED with killer queen. my phone had died so i had left it in my classroom. my friends weren't very fun, they all were doing their homeworks etc etc and i was just sooo bored. anyways, at the last 10 minutes or something, there were only like 4 of us left. my friends were begging to go upstairs and we almost did lol this group of older students came, which meant that they would annoy us and beg us to let them play something shitty (not in genre, they would purposefully open popular shitty songs- it's hard to explain lol it's kind of a turkish thing) so we were like okay :/

i was talking to my friend, this dude started playing killer queen LMAOO i looked at him and smiled, i was like "i love this song!" idk man i used to be so shy but something in my brain flipped off wlsakmdasmwed he looked straight into my eyes and was like "you know queen?" i said "yeah! i love them! i've been dying to play this song but my phone is dead" and he just looked at my eyes like 🧿👄🧿 his eyes were really pretty 😭 i went back to talking with my friends anyways the class was about to start, so we got up and packed. i was soooo nervous lmaoo i didn't even look at him LKMWALKDSMASWED IT GETS WORSE LATER HOLD ON he called behind me and asked which class i was in, NOT MY NAME anyways i told him and waved. my friend was teaaasinggggg me but i shook it off

i started gathering info about the dude. i found his class and stuff, nothing more. idk who sent follow request on instagram first, it was probably me lmaoo but turns out, he's pretty popular! everyone knows him too. i would sometimes share songs on my story and he would always respond. he asked me if i liked david bowie and i said never really listened to him so he shared his bowie playlist! anyways this went on. i would see him in the school garden lol i wouldn't say hi, because we never really met you know? this is a huge problem of mine lkwmsads people think i hate them or something to this day, i'm just too shy what if they don't recognize me NAYWAYS

i thought about the pros and cons. turns out, this dude was living in the dorms (our high school was the best in our city so people from other towns would live in dorms) which meant that he wasn't even from my city? he was also a senior so he probably wouldn't like to be involved with those kind of stuff so i didn't really bother. it was fun tho! so, the day before his uni entrance exam was our last day of school, so the teachers arranged this party stuff with cakes and shit (also! i found out that he was a pretty successful student and would score high on his tests klmsewdlmef this is kinda important cause i like academically successful people 😭my sapiosexuality only works that way) i built up the courage to go wish him well on his test. i could never get him alone, and since my friends didn't know we used to talk occasionally, i left. i waited to make eye contact with him, but i guess it was his time to avoid me. so, i sent my wishes that night, thinking he wouldn't respond. he did, like 2 minutes after i sent the message. he said "we never really got time to get to know each other" GOD I REMEMBER THIS NOW EKSAMDCDLSW i don't remember what i said, i remember i felt kinda embarrassed cause it felt too, out there obvious. it hit me then, that i would never see him again. NOT. we'll get to that >:) i felt sad, i liked having a lil crush. that lil heart skip. i'm not really sure if it WAS a crush, but it definitely was something. oh, he also added me to his close friends like the moment we started following each other and i did the same. WAIT FUCK kKLMWSADLKASEWF HE LOVED DONNIE DARKO??? WHICH IS MY FAVORITE FILM??? I HAVE AN ORIGINAL POSTER IN MY ROOM???????? WHAT THE FUCK???? anwyays i watched pulp fiction for him 😌 it was a win win. oh right, i was sad so i chugged down a whole beer, which was a lot for 16 year old me who went out with her parents lmaooo i was like "pour another one, we're drinking tonight" and they only let me drink 1 💀

what's crazy is

i used to be a scout right? we went to this camp. i got bored, and decided to check if he had a facebook 💀 he didn't, so i was like damn.

2 DAYS LATER HE POSTS A NEW FACEBOOK ACCOUNT ON HIS IG STORIES???? WHAT THE FUCK??? i ran laps i screamed i cried anyways i went to send him a friend request, he already sent me one. cool! i was 14 on my profile picture 💀 thankfully i had deleted everything ages ago

all summer, nothing. NO! results come in, HE'S 1ST IN OUR SCHOOL?? LIKE HE SCORED AN UNGODLY SCORE?? i was like holy shit he went to one of the best, if not the best, uni in our country

so, fast forward 11 grade, first day of school. we were talking in our class (our classes got mixed that year) dude walks in to greet our teacher with his friend and starts talking about the exam and shit. no eye contact? alright whatever lol. 2 or so months later, we go on a trip to visit the unis in that city and his uni is a famous student attraction. he has close friends from his dorm too, so he jumps in on our bus. it was raining so much so we had to stay inside the bus. anyways, we go down, no eye contact still. klsmwadslakwme whatever i say it really is time to stop thinking about him. he vanished off the surface of earth not too long after too lmaoo anyways he probably had a girlfriend back then. so, early pandemic, he deleted his twitter and stopped posting on ig and i hadn't even thought about him at all

he posted a pic on his story... uh,,, october this year? idk at least i knew he was still alive 💀

we went to ikea with my friends one day and got in the wrong bus, ended up in the most ridiculous place so i posted a selfie of us and added it in my close friends (mind that i post from new years to new years) and he responded! he said "you're in this city and didn't invite me?" and i jokingly responded with something. this was late at night, i didn't see him respond and went to bed. i woke up at 9 am and saw that he said "oh btw congrats on your uni! turns out we are really close (our unis are super super close), so we can sit down sometime if you'd like to" and i thought i should respond when im fully awake and went back to sleep. i woke up at 12 pm with my brain mushy and responded with some cringy fucking joke and just liked the message he talked about sitting down. he liked my respond. we were gonna go to a concert that night. i started getting ready, didn't think much of the message. as i was plucking my eyebrows, it occured to me, how DUMB i was. how much of an IDIOT i was. i texted my friends "i did something horrible". i got ready and hopped on the bus, thought about it the whole ride. i got out, met with my friends and told them, HOPING they would at least support me a lil. the first thing they say? "zee, you're such a fucking idiot" i was like "I KNOW" anyways it went on a little more. i said "if i drink enough tonight, i will text him"

2 beers in, mid concert, i sent him a message. "you know, i double tapped it or smth like that but i would really love to meet" sent it, pushed my phone in my pocket. 5 minutes in, i see a notification saying "we only talked on ig" CHILLS MAN I THOUGHT HOLY SHIT THIS DUDE IS SAYING wtf we only talked here KMDSLWKMSDWLKFR FUCKING IPHONE i opened it and he said "same! we only talked on here right? never met face to face" "yeah, guess it was meant to be in this city" "haha yeah. remind me of it and we'll plan something" "sure :)"

this was it omg this shit is so long for no reason, sorry for this lmaooo he's really pretty too lkwsmdaxlsamdwecf i can't i will probably never remind him lol

oh shit wait

my hs friend who goes to the same uni as me, when i told her about my past with the dude, she said she hated the guy bc he ghosted one of her friends. like, he wouldn't wave at her, respond to her texts and stuff. he didn't do any of that with me, so i'm wondering if he liked how i wouldn't really acknowledge him irl lol

yeah that was it lol

flamethrower?? yeah bestie you dodged a bullet there

that dude was also a huge naruto fan. like, he would sometimes wear that bandana and i was like "hmmm okay" i became a weeb literally one year after that 😭 karma is a bitch, death note is bitchier

kaneki was HOT. i liked it when he got violent >:) i could never warm up to tokyo ghoul and keep forgetting that i watched it lol. kaneki was hot tho. i want to read the manga so much, sui ishida is a legend

LKEMWSADCFLKWSDMF NOT THE VACCINE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE THOO

dubs in general i guess? jjk dub is pretty meh imo. i liked the part where yuji calls nobara a bitch tho

i don't like the so clearly american accent in anime dubs, you know? the way they overdramatise the voices gives me the icks. thats why i loved the death note dub! it was so on point, no unnecessary dramatic moments, following the steps of the original vas. also light's monologue was sick, l's voice was sicker

wait, how does your friend find it bad if they haven't read the manga yet?

aah i didn't get in lol i didn't really expect to be picked anyways so it's cool. thanks for the vibes tho <3

i haven't picked anything yet, i still have very little law knowledge. i've always wanted to be a criminal lawyer (like higuruma hehe) but it looks like i would be more successful (money wise) in private law branches. i also don't know if i want to be connected to the government in any way. fuck the government. i probably wouldn't be picked too lol i'm super marginal for their conservative views. i would LOVE to be a da or prosecutor in usa, like new york lol i watched too much law and order. but yeah, for now, i'm focusing on exploring and seeking out anything involving foreign countries. i would love to study abroad for a master's degree too

ooh hell yeah! go for it!

i was writing the vibrator fic with nanami and realized how LITTLE fics with nanami eating reader out exists lmaoo sorry for the sudden nsfw topic but it was so weird! i don't think i've read it outside of fics specifically for eating out???

WATCH IT FOR ME TOO >:'''''')))) HOW WAS IT DON'T TELL ME BUT TELL ME HOW WAS IT??? HOW HOT WAS GETO

LOVE YOUUUU HAVE A GREAT WEEK <3 <3

[ficsforeren]

what do you mean with the: why i am crying KANA THAT THING WAS DEVASTATING, i will send you how much you own me with the tissues which was a lot. not just bcs it was sad it was a roller coaster of every single fucking emotion. Idk if its bcs im not used to REAL ANGST or im super sensitive or both who knows JAJAJAJ but yeah my eyes still hurt JAJAJAJ like i fucking cry babe

im not overreacting when i said that i cry from the beggining to the end.... for real

idk if you realize the power of that fic and yes laught bro bcs it was so embarassing how much i cry and was suffering JAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJAJA and it was so funny bcs in the middle of the reading i could feel how i hadnt have any more tears but no i was so wrong JAJAJAJAA

i know that the mains have their happy ending but its bittersweet like they could have a better ending you know? raising beautiful irene together and dying OLD lol

talking about irene i fucking love here so much!!! how you wrote about here and her relationship with everyone specially porco. Im so happy about porco and pieck like 4 childreeeeeeeeeeen? JAJAJAJ i need a story lol

and i laught with the marco cursing at the hospital jajajaja the wedding part was so (im crying now lol) pure idk i died before eren bro

all the armin parts were so beautiful i could feel the love jajajaja AND LOVE how you put the book the main wrote for eren in the story, the ending: the part of "its a love letter" ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 i died that part was so wonderful

well kana im not god at expressing how i feel and its worst bcs its in english but everything was wonderful and painful. every part, every song you put in the story. i could feel the love you put in this and the passion , i love you kana and your writting so much, im so glad you told me to read this wonderful story thanks for writting this like for real

CAMIIIIII AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LONG MESSAGE THIS IS SO CUTEEEE

i still can't believe to this day that you're reading my AOT fic lmaoooo but i'm very thankful that you did. your commentaries always make me smile. i can't believe i made you cry, i really tried to keep the angst to minimum but i guess it's still going to be sad when someone, especially someone like eren, dies huh? i'm so sorry 💀

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH CAMI FOR REAL THANK YOU FOR EXISTING

[morkofday]

fic tag game

thank you so much for tagging me @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥ i love rambling about my fics and my writing even if it always also brings up all the doubts and insecurities i have but. these are my children so i will show them some love :’) and it is always just wonderful to share this all with you my dear ♥

placing under cut bc i do ramble, as yall know to expect by now!

Name: VishCount i’ve already explained the origin of that name a couple of times so am sparing you from that but gotta just say that i never expected to get so fond of this username and the nicknames that followed ♥

Fandoms: wow ok so buckle up, this is gonna be a ride first i gotta mention the finnish fandom for this youtuber group called LaeppaVika. i adored them as a teenager and i still watch the videos sometimes :’) couple of the members still stream stuff even if the group has pretty much fallen apart by now and am just very fond every time. they feel like home in a way. those fics were my first ones and am still kinda proud of some of those?

then there’s this one random finnish utapri fic i once wrote... tbh i’m not sure why my anime fandoms never made me write anything? maybe it was the inexperience and the fear of using a second language lol 

after i got over that and got into BTS, i’ve written a ton for them. most of those are oneshots that vary from 1k words to 10k or something. a couple of longer ones have sprouted too and one is still in the making and i have sooooo many ideas. mostly just random aus. i adore to write those. 

lately MDZS has been my favored fandom and it has gotten some oneshots too as well as my gigantic xicheng fic that hangs somewhere well above 100k now. i wish to finish the last part for that soon but who knows, maybe it will take longer than expected sigh. and now DMBJ has pushed in as something that yells at me to write tho i’ve only posted a short oneshot for it for now. and oh, last year i also posted a couple of silly oneshots for 2moons! that was... weird tbh but am glad i did that. 

i wish i had more fandoms tbh bc there is so much interesting stuff there and i have so many ideas and inspirations but i’m very slow at writing. things don’t always just come out and some fandoms don’t grasp me for long enough that i would be able to tap into any projects. but i have no hurry, right?

Tropes: hmm do i have any? am not sure. i thought that maybe soulmate aus or some abo stuff was my thing but i’ve slowly drifted away from those. then it comes to just... idk. hurt/comfort? found families? i also adore slow burn these days and i feel like i’ve gotten a bit better at writing that but it’s still a struggle. also just, as already noted, all these different aus? mostly fantasy based ones. those are always so cool and somehow very whimsical? and lately i’ve also just fallen into this hole where i love to write some bittersweet tragedies or at least stuff that feels like a tragedy in some sense (and i blame my dear kiddo for that bc they’ve written the sweetest of tragedies and i want that too ok)

Fic I spent most time on: how do you count this? do wips count? bc if they do, then I feel like my xicheng fic called you’re the sunset and i’m the last purple left behind is it. it just keeps on going and i feel like i’ve given it all of my waking hours and heart and soul.  then it could also be my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe that is slowly reaching its second year? am not sure. but it has been going for ages bc sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes and currently i’ve spent over six months without updating it and. yeah.  (it would be nice to mention some fic here that i’ve made some research for but tbh i never do any research. am horrible like that but i’ve never just. had the energy? tho i have hopes that i could go on this wild research spree for this one guardian idea i have but let’s see...) 

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: (making a list bc am unable to choose, fight me)

and you remain - my pingxie oneshot that just helped me to get all of the feelings i had after tlt2 pour out. am very fond of it destiny tied us together - some introspection of lwj and jc’s relationship and how it changes throughout the years as they both mature, learn things about themselves, fall in love and realize that they share the same ppl in their hearts (and maybe develop a tentative friendship bc they’re so similar in so many ways). i had so much fun with this and it just felt like my brightest moment haha painting your skin with all of me - the xicheng soulmate oneshot i wrote at some point and still adore. it just seemed to work and in the middle of my xicheng struggles writing them so briefly and gently just felt right pouring love (growing flowers) - the ot7 oneshot i wrote bc of this one amazing twt prompt/moodboard. it was the last part of my mono series. i love it so much. joon was so nice to write throughout the whole thing ;;  lilies bloomed under your carpet - my god au for taejoon. it poured out of me so wonderfully and it was so amazing. still one of my favorite creations, this whole au.  Stories Untold / chapter 3 - this was a collection of taejoon oneshots that i was trying to make but am not sure if i will ever finish them all. but this one, where tae is a forest god and joon a human able to see supernatural things, is very dear to me bc it just feels complete

Fic I spent least time on: gosh i think it must be either my first wangxian oneshot we had it almost or my touch-starved joon oneshot show me my skin and touch my heart with very soft and lovely taejoon. both created themselves in a couple of hours?

Longest fic: currently my xicheng monster but i somehow expect my bts abo fic to get even longer if i ever manage to finish it

Shortest fic: it’s apparently my namseok fic for joon’s tokyo called missing you (i’m homesick). it created itself out of my own experiences of living in a long distance relationship and is one of my faves in that series.  

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: most hits and comments go for my bts abo fic which doesn’t really surprise me when it’s a multichapter fic :’D most kudos go for the already mentioned xicheng oneshot and most bookmarks go for the bts ot7 fic!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: hmm if i could rewrite something, it would probably be my first bts fic and my second long fic called Even the Universe Makes Mistakes. that soulmate au now feels a bit outdated and there are many parts i would like to change and things i would love to think again.  then if i was allowed to expand some world, i would love to write more for the xicheng soulmate au bc there are many other pairings i would love to explore there too or just to see lxc’s take on the events perhaps. other thing would be my namgi oneshot it passes (for us both) bc i adore namgi and the love they create in that brief moment. 

Share a bit of a WIP: it hasn’t been long since i shared snippets of several wips but let’s go with my pingxie which i’ve been working on and am just so damn excited about (especially now that i can use the bazaar photoshoot imagery as inspiration):

“He moves, pulled in by the darkness of the lake, mirroring the softly blue sky with its gray, heavy clouds. The snow lands on his nose, into his lashes, clings to his coat and his shoes. He doesn’t feel cold, doesn’t hear anything beyond the softness of the snowfall. Nothing exists and everything does, real and fake at the same time, comforting but still making him feel afraid.

He could lose himself here, could be lost from everything. He could stay and be forgotten, could join those people that tried to make him remain, could take the easier way. He could rest, just like he was supposed to do so many times before.

Maybe he does belong, after all. Maybe he is part of this place, so awfully familiar with it, so willing to even stop his own heart to get here. And maybe he is not, this place only hungry for those who don’t yet remain, refuse to give into this dream-like space.”

thank you once more for tagging me my dear! this was fun even if looking back to my old fics and all the lack of updating and posting these days makes me feel kinda bad... i’ve just been in a slump lately and am slowly trying to get out of it even if i almost fall back in all the time. it’s funny when last spring i felt like i was at my peak sigh. but well, as i’ve already said, i have time right?

i dunno so many writers over here but i’m tagging @cross-d-a and @kholran bc i’m curious about your work. also tagging @inkblue-black and @jockvillagersonly if you want to blabber about something or if you just want to see this. and oh also tagging @wangxianbunnydoodles bc am always open for new ppl and i know that you write ^^ 

[pipskippy]

sudden need to dump thoughts abt ntwewy umm very spoilers also its long

ok like neo twewy is such a sad story im thinking about it. there’s so much lightheartedness and distraction of the cool visuals and music and everything (which is not to say that’s bad it’s a huge strength of twewys) but each character’s story is so sad and lonely. it’s definitely bittersweet bc ultimately it’s a story of friendship but thinking about neku makes me sad, beat makes me sad…tsugumi and coco…i don’t even care much for shiba but his story is depressing too. he was lied to and ended up causing a lot of pain for his friends…obviously kanon is so so sad she deserved so much better! there’s so much opportunity to delve into the stories of pretty much everyone save for rindo and maybe shoka (bc it was already the main focus of the game)… on one hand that’s exciting bc it means there’s plenty to think about and fans can make our own investigations into them but im so hungry for more info. all this to say i really wish they had the time to have have delved into neku’s disappearance to funny ghost shinjuku more particularly in relation with beat looking for him the ENTIRE TIME like i really need it so bad i can’t even articulate any of this lol. anyways im thinking about how gentle and patient neku seems in neo especially with beat and it feels like a reflection of how neku is to ppl who r familiar with the first game like…at least for me seeing neku is a comfort and makes me feel like everything is gonna be okay. but i also got this this feeling of melancholy and loneliness like he’s used to being completely alone (literally and for YEARS) and just so content and happy to just be around people again, especially an old friend like beat…like is it not so fucking cruel how this kid who was so spiteful toward the world and believed he would never understand or need other people, blocked everything out, etc. finally reached a point where he had friends and realized how expansive the world really is when you accept it and it accepts you in return and then almost immediately after that he’s shot and sent to an empty uninhabited city. with no real people at all, much less his friends. and he was stuck in that solitude for 3 years. isn’t that too cruel? like it actually makes me feel sick to think about it makes my teeth and chest ache lol neku twewy is too special to me so i can’t think about sad twewy for my own health

[herotheshiro]

alrighty i used to try to find posts to reblog with my review but now that tumblr has this new system of notifying the op with all the tags, i don’t want to spam someone with my hella long tags lol. so now i have to stick with this system of shitty-quality cover pic + my review in an original post for all reviews now lol

anyway. just read 3-chapter oneshot kokuhaku no jikan by tsubasa yamaguchi which is actually by the same mangaka of blue period fame. i had heard from my sibling that she had done a shounen ai but didn’t look it up so i was taken by surprise when i opened this newly uploaded manga to one of the sites i check; the art looked so familiar but there was no other works by them on the site and then i realized the art was familiar bc the art here is a rougher version of the pretty art you see posted across tumblr/twitter for blue period lol. anyway enough abt the art

rough summary of story: 2 high school boys’ paths cross one day bc of a relay race they both join. they become close romantically and they eventually decide they’re going to confess to each other to make it official (this is explicitly discussed bw the 2 of them). the day of this planned confession, one of them (urashima) gets into a non-fatal accident and the other guy (imada) confesses to him at his bedside. imada returns the next day and turns out urashima’s memory now resets every 24 hours post-accident -- so he remembers everything up until the accident but not afterwards. imada decides to confess to him every day to remind urashima they’re lovers but eventually this repetition with essentially no reward begins to take its toll...

i actually really liked this story tbh. i think it’s a very straight-forward story but also is complex at the same time (if that makes sense) -- it’s basically 2 guys trying to communicate but there’s an exterior issue causing their miscommunication. it’s such a standard story but this case is refreshing bc 1. the 24hr memory reset is believable. there are differences bw long-term and short-term memory retention and i’ve heard of illnesses/neuroses where ppl can’t retain memories irl so this whole thing isn’t entirely pulled out of the author’s ass and 2. the miscommunication issue is very much due to an external issue and not them jumping through fucking mental hoops to convince themselves to not see the situation accurately. i did read through the story pretty quick so tbh i didn’t really absorb too much abt how the author presented their conflict, but i think the obstacles that get in their way and the way these two high-schoolers respond to those obstacles are very believable.

the story also progresses well too: beginning with them in their own little world and then eventually outside forces along with time question their relationship which then makes them question themselves. i don’t think anything got elongated uncomfortably and it follows the standard story conflict progression (initial problem presented, things pile up until conflict comes to a head, conflict then solution, then coast to the ending) with each event/plot point transitioning well into each other. the ending of them proposing to each other isn’t anything new, a standard dramatic romantic end -- dramatic bc like uh you’re high schoolers, how can you possibly dedicate your lives to one another already but i mean they’re going through this whole situation with one of them literally having a memory loop and yet still love each other at the end -- imada has already proven himself to be willing to dedicate himself to urashima regardless of what happens so.

anyway it’s technically kind of a sad story since in the end, urashima prob won’t be able to really retain memories past 24hr well into the future, but it was still good bc urashima does still have the memories of their burgeoning relationship and they’re together in the end with the ring reminder for him daily. i think it would’ve been REAL emo if they made it so that urashima didn’t have memories of their burgeoning relationship so imada had to help him fall in love with him over and over, but i think them having that initial foundation made the story believable/more straightforward and the ending hopeful rather than bittersweet.

tl;dr is that the story was well-done, nice and simple but also complex enough to not be boring. i don’t think the premise is that unique, like i’ve read stories of ppl forgetting their lovers and so the lover has to work to be with them again, but this story did that premise very well and in a believable way without having to really get into under-developed details. the author is good with expressing emotions through body language/facial expressions too. it’s a cute story that provides both conflict and sweet stuff with a happy ending.

side note but i’ve been wanting to read blue period for a while, and this honestly has incentivized me to actually go and pick it up. this work is obviously one of the author’s early works if the art wasn’t obvious enough, and surely she’s polished up her writing and art skills in the time since so i can see why ppl would be into blue period past its messages about the struggles of doing and pursuing art. i’m looking forward to it!