#long gone are the days of looking up AMVs on youtube that used your favorite songs........

[undertalethingems]

What was "the royal we" animatic about? and would you still consider doing it in the future? it sounded interesting 👀

well, it boils down to one thing: I Am Not Immune To Cool Murder Route Imagery

the murder route of undertale is not usually one I find particularly ripe for fanworks, partly because it's been, uh, pretty well covered for a long time. but that isn't to say there hasn't been some really excellent art and character analysis to come out of it, and of course, where would i be without the gaster blaster XD

so, like I said in the other ask where i talked about the animatic, the lines in the chorus are really great for a murder run--and particularly, a murder run from Sans' point of view. the "we" singing is Sans, playing with the idea of casting him as the royal fool, and follows him as he follows the murderous human's path. I can picture the whole narrative, starting just after Papyrus' death, and ending with... well, provided i get around to making it, you'll see. :>

and yeah, as long as a given project still needs to be worked on, it'll remain an option in any polls I post. So even though the animatic won't win this time, it's not out of the running. what's been good is that knowing at least a few people are interested in the concept at all, so I might even work on it outside of streams ^^

[subject-2-change]

28, 38, 49 for the ask game!! ❤️

28. an unusual song that’s your favorite?

Verbatim - Mother Mother. It's a whole ass mood and also makes me think of my D&D character (Scratch)

Hypnodancer - Little Big. It is so silly and maybe my all-time favorite music video

38. what’s the meaning behind your url?

I was changing my AMV YouTube handle after nearly a decade. I put in "Subject to Change" as a placeholder. Never changed it. So it kinda stuck. I love the irony of my online moniker being consistently "subject to change". I will not be changing it. (Unless it is for a bit)

49. what scents do you like?

Classic things like rain and fresh bread. Also the typical sometimes ick things like gasoline and tobacco on someone's clothes. The smell of the pizza at the shop I work at. It makes me so fucking hungry all day.

Very long, specific smell story under the cut: tw death

But the most sentimental smell is this specific vanilla spray that this older woman who owned a vintage shop used. She would spray it on the paper she would wrap the clothes in (in a very careful and specific way) and the smell would last months, lingering in the closet if you kept the paper in there. She would, of course, ask consent of the customer first.

Her name was Nita. She was an incredible woman, talented and open minded. She was an award winning designer. She sold discreet lipstick pipes, she was super body positive, she would design anyone in anything saying her shop doesn't care about gender or sexuality. She was once perusing another shop, and the owner shooed a homeless man out, who had collected solid perfumes and wanted to sell them to her. Nita looked at the woman and put down the hundreds of dollars of stuff she was going to buy, and said, "we don't shoo human beings." She followed the man out and said she'd buy the perfume from him. He said "how much would you pay?" And she said "how much do you need?" Nita had stories like that for all sorts of stuff in her shop (early supporter of small businesses, crazy stories, vintage pieces, etc.) I learned them all when I worked for her.

She was the first job I had after returning to LA post... a lot of life stuff. It got me out of my mom's toxic household. It got me the job at the pizza place I'm at now. She set me up with my partner of nearly 2 years now. I already knew him, but she really showed me just how much he adored me. If I would believe anyone had any sort of spiritual future telling abilities or "sixth senses", it was her. She would read people as soon as they came in. Like she could see into your soul.

Nita had gone through so much hardships in her life. Family was Holocaust survivors. She was living with lung cancer. But she didn't take care of herself enough to be on the transplant list. She kept her oxygen tank hidden behind her desk in the shop. As we got to know each other, I told her about my mental illness. One her brother had. He recently passed. We have the same birthday. I told her I've been on medication and therapy for years, and taking care of yourself is super important. She started using her oxygen tank regularly. After being there a few months, she admitted to me why. "I don't want to be attached to a tank. I'm not weak. But seeing you be so strong, even though you ask for help-- because you ask for help-- it made me realize I need to get my shit together, huh?"

There was one day we were packing up late after a special client had a wardrobe pull. She was exhausted and her oxygen tank wasn't sealing. Any time she'd turn the knob, the air released rather than going through the tube. It was her last one on her. She started panicking, which didn't help. I had 911 dialed in case she passed out, and tried to fix the tank. I managed to rig it (basically this screw wasn't sitting right in its indent, and I manually manipulated it with pliers). She called me an angel and gave me this gorgeous shirt that looks so much like the top for my angelic D&D character (which is very near and dear to my heart).

Nita got on the transplant list! She was due for new lungs. It would be several months, but she was going to get the surgery. I eventually couldn't continue working there because I picked up more time at the pizza place which was frankly just a LOT less emotional labor and I'm not pressured to sell so much as serve. It was only a block away so I'd go in to see her regularly.

One day, it was only her husband and this douchey guy working. He was better than me with sales, but was super pretentious. Like I said, she was an award winning designer. I was the first person who worked for her because I liked her shop, not her name. Nita was at home sick. She had caught covid. It wasn't particularly bad, she wasn't in the hospital, but it wasn't... ya know... good. A few weeks later I found out from her friend (my partner's employer. He looked good one day and she sent him straight there for an interview) that Nita had passed. She was too sick to pass her check up, and she would not be healthy enough for the transplant. It was the first death of someone close to me I had ever experienced. Her shop is closed now.

Her husband gave me a bottle of that specific spray she kept in the back (the last new bottle he had left). As I said, it lasts months, so I still have plenty left. I keep a scented piece of tissue paper tucked into the drawer with my angel shirt. I get to wear it twice a week when I play the character, and it smells of this vanilla buttercream. It always makes me think of Nita.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #318

“what can you do, where can ya go, when your mama is a burnout, and your daddy is a pyro?”

Do you have your ears pierced more than once? Yeah. Do you use an electric toothbrush? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? Oh, I have no idea. That's something I avoid like the plague because I loathe my body. When was the last time you got high? Never. Do you get along with your parents? Yeah. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No, I don't fuck with that stuff. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don't answer numbers I don't recognize to begin with. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? Nooooo. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot of 'em. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Have you ever walked through a forest at night on your own? Uh, no sir. When was the last time you were in a graveyard? It's been many, many years. Do you know what an ‘AMV’ is? Yep, used to make 'em. How many items are in your recycle bin? (On your computer!) Oh yikes, probably loads. I haven't emptied it in... I don't know how long. Would you rather be a bird or a fish? A bird. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? Joker. Heath Ledger's is my favorite. Have you ever had a pet rock? No. How much do you weigh? Yeah, no. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Taking nature photographs. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don’t do roller coasters to begin with. Have you ever gone in a sauna? Ugh, hell no. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Are you attracted to people outside of your race? Yes. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Best cough drop? Those creamy strawberry ones. If you have a pet, does it make a lot of noise? One's a snake, so she's silent as could be. My cat is generally quiet, but he has his times where he just walks around meowing, normally for attention. Are you a fan of eyeshadow? If I actually wear makeup, yeah, I like black eyeshadow. Can you tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi? Absolutely. I don't like Pepsi. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, didn't feel weird. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? A Silent Hill poster. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yeah, as a kid. What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? Brown. What was the title of the last song you listened to? So today I've really been digging dark synthwave/cyberpunk-ish music, and right now I have a playlist on that's currently playing "DNA War" by Absolute Valentine and Billy Mays. How far away is the closest Walmart? Not even five minutes. Can you do a backflip? No. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Well, Ozzy is the lead singer of Ozzy Osbourne, haha. When was the last time you went fishing? Not since Sara visited and we went catfishing with my dad one night. What brand of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? My mom, lmaoooo. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Also my mom, haha. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Juan's maybe like... 28 or something by now, idk. Have you ever run a stoplight? No. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? YIKES, no. That sounds miles beyond awkward. Are both your parents still living? Yeah, thankfully. What’s something that makes you feel more creative? Music, for sure. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I do find those super cute. What gives you a quality of life? Not much nowadays, idk. What would give you a high quality of life? A sense of purpose, direction, and worth. Do you have any rugs on top of carpet in your home? We have a big one in our living room, yes. I don't get it. Do you have a mattress cover on your bed? Yeah. Do you hate taking naps during the day? No; naps are normal for me. Who has the best personality on YouTube? Maybe I'm biased, but I genuinely do think Mark for a multitude of reasons. He's just extremely likable imo and sincerely a fucking spectacular human being. Do you have any vinyl records? No, but I would love to collect classic rock and metal ones. Which serial killer(s) do you find most fascinating? I'm quite honestly not well-informed in serial killer stories. I think they're interesting, but not enough for me to learn about them. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's fuckin dope. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? ALL OF THEM AHHHH!!!!! But I particularly love learning about social animals, like meerkats (mongoose in general, really), African wild dogs, wolves, etc. What are your thoughts on gun control? I don't support the idea of banning firearms altogether, but I am very much in favor of some reform. There needs to be a much, much more strict and complex system in order for you to legally own a gun, and I also support periodic "check ups" to ensure you still fit whatever criteria is laid out. "Bad people will still find guns;" yes, some most certaintly will, but you can't convince me that the numbers wouldn't decrease. It would take a serious villain to put so much effort into pursuing obtaining a firearm. Do you like animals better than most humans? Sure do. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I've blocked people to prevent that. If you collect anything, what is your favorite piece of that collection? I cherish the plush meerkat Jason gave me most, probably; out of my Silent Hill stuff, the limited edition Revelation flyer I have in Japanese. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? Hi, meet my best friend lmao. Are there any musicians you didn’t like at first, but grew on you? Probably. Do you have any favorite books you’d like to have signed by the author? Not really. Well wait, Ozzy signing my copy of his autobiography would be pretty damn cool. Do you like any board games or card games? I'm not really a board game fan, but Magic: The Gathering is fun as far as card games go. What historical figure(s) are you most interested in? I'm not incredibly interested in any, but I do think Pharaoh Hatshepsut was a bad bitch. She was one of the extremely few female pharaohs, and if my memory serves me right, one of the most successful. Do you like Breaking Benjamin? I sure do. How many people of the opposite sex have you told you loved them? One. Have you ever had to change your phone number? Yes, because I was getting strange texts from numbers I didn't know. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. What’s your favourite comic book/graphic novel? I don’t read any. What is something you take pride in? How far I've come as far as my mental illnesses go, particularly depression and PTSD. What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I'm not getting up to go look. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No; I hate lettuce on burgers, so. What brand is your vaccuum cleaner? Dunno. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Sure, but I don't believe it's a must for everyone. Plenty of people don't even want to get married. Be intimate once you're comfortable with the person, and be safe and smart about it. Are you for or against abortion? I'm pro-choice. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? It's fact that I need to. My body just doesn't want to, afuckingpparently. All I seem to be capable of is either maintain or gain nowadays. Is summer your favorite season? It's my least favorite, actually. Do you wear glasses? I'm basically blind without 'em. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? Yeah, in German. What do you want out of life? To feel like I made a difference, even if it's a small one. Do you ever get carsick? No. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore, no. Have you ever liked someone who treated you badly? No. When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Oh boy, probably not since I had my cyst in I think '16. I was in so much agony and we had no painkillers, so I had to wake up Mom to go to Walmart to grab some. They barely even helped at all. God, I couldn't imagine dealing with that again. Were your last two kisses with the same person? Yes. Do you have alcohol in your house? I don't think we do right now, no. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? Yeah; I don't wear anything that shows my legs unless I shaved, but I will never wear a dress that isn't at least past my knees. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? Avril Lavigne was/is an ICON. I still think she looks badass. So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say the opposite, but I say "gif" now. Apparently that's how the creator of the term says it anyway. When you are invited to things like wedding showers or baby showers do you tend to go or skip? What about graduation parties? If Mom is able to take me, I'll try to go to the first two if they're my closer friends. Do you like spicy chips? Oh FUCK yes. What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? Elf with Sara's fam. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. Dad's, only the month. Do you read your friends' surveys? Yep, I love learning about them. Do you know anyone with a glass eye? Not to my knowledge, no. Do you ever use the n-word? Absolutely not. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I tend to like lip piercings. Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? Chicken. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah, multiple times as a kid, "camping" in the yard with Dad, haha. What do you call your grandparents? I called both sets just "Grammy" and "Grampa." Have you ever cried while reading a book? Oh, certainly. How many college degrees do you want? I got none, and I'm not going back to college. Do you know how to play pool? What about foosball? Yes. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey with my dad a few times. Do you own any jerseys? No. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; that's why I had braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Maybe like... Victor. Idk. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a soup person. Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Yeah. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? My pre-teen and teenage years house: in the woods on a dead-end road and down a gravel path that everyone always missed when learning where our house was. The actual road itself had very, very little traffic, and there was a large expanse of cotton fields. I loved it and miss the house itself, but it's got a lot of bad memories rotting in it. Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? My niece and nephew. <3 Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. We barely interact at all. Does one side of your family live in another state? Literally none of my extended family (or half-siblings) live in NC. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No. Is there a good hospital where you live? God no. It is notoriously awful. When was the last time you were asked out? Did you accept or decline? Mid-2017. I aceepted. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? N/A Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? Yeah. Probably white/ivory or black. Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? No, I don't like the texture. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? Probably not. What’s your favorite amusement park? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Do you play video games? If so, what kind? Yeah. My favorite are horror games, but I also love me some story-driven survival games like The Last of Us, and then there's "kids" games like Spyro, etc. I like a looot of different kinds. Would you buy used clothes? I don't think so. I know it's easy to wash clothes and stuff, I'd just still feel kinda... grossed out by it.

[purplesurveys]

1027

Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Have you ever hit on a teacher? That’s just cringey. No, I’m glad none of the teachers I ever had did this to me.

Do you tend to eat more on Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas? As far as I know Halloween was never one of those holidays where families go all out and prepare a feast, and we don’t have Thanksgiving over here; which leaves only one option.

Three more days until what? Work again.

Do you know what an 'AMV' is? No but this just reminds me of vehicles because there’s ATVs and there’s also the DMV in the US hahaha. I’m sure this has got nothing to do with cars though.

Trigger warning? Maybe? Idk if it counts.

Who do you not like more: your dentist, your eye doctor, or your doctor? [slight trigger warning] I don’t have a regular any-of-these. The only doctor I ever hated was the one who took my physical exam before I was permitted to enroll in my university, because she had such a negative vibe and just looked like she hated her job. She also went ahead and touched my breasts to check for abnormal bumps - which, as a doctor, I understand is a part of her job, but I would’ve appreciated if she asked permission first. But nope, slid her hand underneath my shirt before I could even realize what was going on.

Why do/don't you like cats? Because they never seemed to like me.

What is your favorite music artist's hair like? Beyoncé’s hair has been brown for most of her career and she’ll either style it in curls, make it wavy, or have it straightened. Hayley’s hair has gone through the entire rainbow.

Do you like Crayola or Rose Art better? Crayola. Rose Art is a joke.

What is your favorite type of dog? Anything that isn’t a chihuahua or pug. Actually pugs are a little ok, since they’re chill. Chihuahuas are the ones I honestly just cannot stand.

Have you ever considered making videos for YouTube? Yessssssss, just never gotten around to it.

What is your favorite type of nut? Hazelnut when it comes to desserts or drinks, but I've never actually tried hazelnuts. My favorite nut to eat is pistachio.

What would you do if it snowed right now? Message everyone I know saying that it’s snowing and take a bunch of photos. It doesn’t snow here, so it would literally be a historical event.

Where would you move, if you would move anywhere? Chicago.

Do you like it when people touch your hair? Sure.

Do you think you have a sad life? For now it kind of is, but I also don’t want to deny the few ups that I’m getting to enjoy, like my job that I genuinely love. It’s the one thing saving me from completely going into a downward spiral, so I’m grateful for it because it’s actually saving my life atm.

Lets say someone calls you at 3 AM and you're sleeping, what do you say? If it’s an unknown number, it’s getting rejected. But as long as I recognize the caller, I’m picking the phone up and answering like normal.

If it was a text would you ignore it or reply? It would depend on how groggy I am. 

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T like the POTC movies? It’s not that I dislike the series; I’ve just never been interested in seeing them. Pirates were never really my thing.

What's one award show you have to watch every year? I don’t necessarily have to *watch* the Oscars, but I have always kept track of the winners every year, at least since 2013 or 2014.

What is the last five words you've said out loud? No idea. I’ve been alone for a few hours and haven’t really spoken since.

What subject do you just not get at all? Calculus. How did I even pass that class?

How often do you go shopping just for fun? Used to be once every 1-2 weeks, but I obviously haven’t been able to follow this schedule.

When did you start wearing makeup, if you even do? I started experimenting in high school but it didn’t last long.

What's the show that you can't miss a week of? It used to be The Walking Dead, but I stopped following once they started killing off every character I originally watched the show for.

On that note, what's the worst show on television? I never liked MTV’s shows, like Teen Wolf or Scream.

Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? No preference.

How many songs are on your iPod/MP3 player? I had a peak of around 300-400 songs maybe? when I was still using my iPod.

Current book/s you're reading? Not reading anything.

How would you go about making a peach color with paints? I’d probably just buy peach paint, if that’s what I wanted. < lol same, but if I had limited resources I’d look for red, white, and maybe a light orange?

Why do some people like stuffed animals? They’re a comforting presence.

What's your favorite Panic At The Disco album? A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out. < Easy. Vices & Virtues is a very, very close second.

Do you ever feel like no haircut suits your face? Sometimes.

Best time of the day? Evening.

[szopenhauer]

If somebody paid you a million dollars to get a green mohawk would you?yes!

Do you like Youtube? yup

Have you ever gone into a toystore just to play with the toys? not play, look at them

Do you have an annoying dog? no, it had a phase for howling all nights when our neighbors moved out with their dog but that’s all

Do you like kids pop-up books? yeah

Does anybody else think bugs are cool and interesting? might be but only rarely

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Meridol and it reminds me of Merida princess lmfao

Do you press buttons just to see what they do? omg nooo

Do you still play pokemon? I never did

Are you blond? looking at my alters I wonder why not lol

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? it’s cool

Does fire excite you? magic and fire dances but that’s probably all

Have you ever sung in a choir? hell no

Do you think Orlando Bloom is hot? nah

Do you think Twilight is over-rated? for sure

ZZZ, im tired….are you? mhm

Have you ever pet a monkey? slightly, barely

Have you ever ridden a camel? I'd like to, honestly would prefer to own a camel than a horse

Do you like cupcakes? I do indeed Orange or lemon flavoring? lemon

Touchpads or Mouse’s? mouse

Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Have you ever hit on a teacher? hope not and no

Do you tend to eat more on Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas? Christmas, we don’t celebrate Halloween and especially Thanksgiving

Do you know what an ‘AMV’ is? anime music video

Why do/don’t you like cats? I like ‘em but don’t wanna own a cat, long story

What would you do if it snowed right now? nothing, I listened to Christmas music already and it didn’t snow which is weird as it works 90% of the time for me

What’s one award show you have to watch every year? none but I like to browse MET gala pictures later

What is the last five words you’ve said out loud? I’m not sure which were last

Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? Batman but Joker is fun too

Why do some people like stuffed animals? why not? :o

Do you ever feel like no haircut suits your face? oh well...

Best time of the day? late evening/night?

Are you looking forward to tomorrow?: no longer...

On a scale 1-10 how much do you like spaghetti?: I hate rating in scales

What age did you stop playing with dolls?: I can still play if I wanna but I don’t

What makes you want to take a survey?: questions I didn’t answer yet, bonus points if they make me think deeper

Does anyone currently like you right now?: apparently

Do you believe that there‘s life out there somewhere else?: no comment

Would you rather visit The Eiffel Tower or the Egyptian Pyramids?: neither, not interested

What smiley face currently expresses you?: dunno Do you watch the show The Simpsons?: fragments/episodes

Who is your favorite cartoon character?: I like many, can’t choose only one

Would you like to work at a candy shop?: no thx

Do you only buy clothes that are under $20?: I buy clothes that are under 5 PLN, sometimes more expensive but not over 10 PLN

Do you care: not enough, too little or too much?: all at once

Did anything brighten up your day today?: that conversation about snake and cow for example

Has someone upset you within the last 48 hours?: yasss

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH AND for the other ask thing, mayhaps 🎯 🔭 🎞 🥐 and 💌? this is also quite a few hgjkghd if u don't wanna do them all that's fine!!!! i hope u can find a moment of relaxation tonight

it’s no worries!! i’m really appreciative of these because my sister and her fiance are talking about me flying home in the other room and i am truly tryna be like ⬇️ thank you for the kind wishes man… you already know this but ilysm ; J ;

the rest of this gets really long, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore!

🎯 if you could gain any skill instantly, what would it be?

broo this question is like a callout post… i have a list of skills i’ve been meaning to learn since at least august of 2018 that has regretfully gone untouched + unloved.. I would say, either the ability to speak spanish or ASL? or maybe how to hand embroider, or to do calligraphy? (fun fact: i bought a quill at last year’s ren faire, mostly as a prop for the game of whodunnit we do every day + I was going to learn to use it properly but it’s sat in my RF tub since november.. la tragedie) i’m really godawful at cooking and i don’t know how to bake, so maybe i should prioritize those..i desperately dream of baking loaves of bread for my friends and family, wrapping them in twine + writing kind notes, and hand-delivering them.. uGH ;J;

🔭 what’s your go-to topic to learn about when you’re bored?

it really depends on what i’m into! most of the time, i love deep-diving and learning the weird ins-and-outs of the lore of whatever i’m really into! my brother can testify for me staying up all night on the dragon ball wiki trying to make heads or tails of the different timelines.. August-November, though, i love learning about handicrafts! i have an entire playlist on youtube dedicated to leatherworking, bookbinding, woodburning, + other funky crafts that i’ll hopefully one day delve into so that Corylana can evolve from Ditsy invader zim-kinning elf to a tru Explorer of the Woods who has seen shit + lived to tell the tale! c:

🎟 what are some artists/bands whose music brings back childhood memories for you?

i’m such an audiophile so this question, i think, is probably the loveliest one to be asked ^ ^ a really important thing to understand about this answer is that i spent the latter half of my formative years locked up in a house all day w/ 2008 internet as my primary source of entertainment. 

most of my childhood is tied up in songs as opposed to bands. my sister and i were really Addicted to yugioh amvs, so we listened to a ton of alt rock bc that’s what all the amvs were set to? the most iconic one was this joey x mai amv from like 2008 that i am SO glad still exists.. he is everything you want Stays one of my favorite songs solely bc of polarshipping (this is a Lie that song SLAPS)  chasing cars, eclipse of the heart, iris, you and me, and hfhsh remember the name were really Crucial songs ;v; i was also ObSESSED w britney although my mom hates her + i vividly remember that they used to play hips don’t lie Every Single Time we went to eat at buffalo wild wings, so it became another obsession. my mom really loved ymca so we listened to that all the time, too c:

also FUCK my sister brought this up… the first 3 seconds of untouched by the veronicas sets off my fight or flight response because SO many people used it for their iconic 2008-2010 “xyz productions” title cards, FUCK.

things changed once we moved back to north carolina (read: my sister and i became mortal enemies?) i’m about to oust myself but vocaloid was such a huge part of my childhood (it’s also why i joined choir at all, which is hilarious considering that’s basically the rest of my life lol) i enjoyed a TON of different artists, but i remember for a fact that i was obsessed with wowaka, deco*27 (egomama and aimai elegy were particular faves) (ALSO TWO BREATHS WALKING + LOVE DISTANCE LONG AFFAIR WAIT.. WAIT…. OMG), and jin (ms. kagerou project....

on a mildly unrelated note (does hs count as one’s childhood? hm), disney’s candlelight processional brings back so many warm memories from high school! although I cannot fuck with the hallelujah chorus, even 2 years after graduation, because it brings me back to the first time I performed it + my throat locked up on stage and i couldn’t breathe consistently for like 4 minutes! ; J ; i vividly remember debating whether or not i could make it through the song w/o passing out or sitting down (if you sat down to be carried out during the performance, you didn’t receive your complimentary tickets bc you didn’t perform the whole show. My dilemma was that Hallelujah is the final song of the show + i had powerhoused through every song before it)

🥐 what food is your go-to when you want something easy to make/prepare?

in moments of dire hunger, my brother and i always resort to ramen with broccoli! ramen is a1 on its own but there’s something about the broccoli that truly elevates it.. idk. i cannot wait for when i have more time to cook + look back on this answer and cackle at my lack of cooking skills ;v;

💌 what’s something you love about the last friend/family member you texted?

the last person i texted was my brother ben! and bro where the fuck do i even Begin with benji, oh my god.. he and i have been through the trials and tribulations of childhood alliance + betrayal, we’ve walked through the fires of hell + lived to tell the tale of it to our mom even though we both agreed we wouldn’t snitch.. benji is a legend

I feel the same way about ben that you do about lj! we’re almost always on the same wavelength about stuff, and i feel like i can talk to him about genuinely anything c: we swing wildly between being Literally Incoherent and manic to being very real and sometimes philosophical and it is always yeehaw Times. one of the things i appreciate most about ben is that he’s SUCH a good sounding board for ideas- i always bounce my new concepts off of him and he almost always has something interesting to add or consider. sergio, and most of my other aus, would deadass Not Exist without ben’s inputs c:

[callmearcturus]

Old Vid Recs (2002-2012)

(This post is also on Pillowfort! If you want to comment, that’s prob the best place to have a conversation about this. Otherwise, feel free to like/reblog.)

This is not going to be comprehensive. Just be aware of that. This is going to be pulls from the shoddy memory of a nearly-30something fanperson, and will be a mess. But I really desperately love all the vids I'm gonna talk about below and I highly suggest checking them out.

EVERYTHING ABSOLUTEDESTINY EVER DID. This person started in AMVs and then transitioned to Live Action vids and was a fucking powerhouse of both. Probably the most straight up ingenious vidder with concept and execution. A lot of my favorites are more of a comedic slant, but goddamn he did everything. AbDest has all his shit on a fabulous website, and you can save videos with a right-click it looks like! Here, see!

"Too Much Light In This Bar" - Life On Mars - 2006. Incredible thematic summary of set to a fucking weirdass "song" that using some phenomenal editing to make beautiful hilarity. I can still see perfectly in my mind's eye the amazing bit at "Dicko Sauve walks-- NO WAIT-- swaggers into the room like a gunfighter with too many bullets" and it's stupefying and brilliant. It is so strongly ingrained in my mind, I can recite the entire song and often mutter snippets of it to myself. (NOTE: Video has brief nudity and a lot of suggestive stuff, NSFW!)

"Gold Digger" - Gone With the Wind - 2007  (YouTube) I have a complicated relationship with this song (I mean it's Kanye so of course) and this is similarly a sort of complicated vid that does not make any absolute (lol) statements about Scarlett, but definitely hands you some interesting ideas. Also this remix of the song is a fucking banger and this is one of the finest character focus vids ever. Fucking amazing.

"Shameless Rock Video" - FLCL - 2002  (YouTube) I often wonder if Ian Roberts is tired of being known for this video, because I feel like any mention of his work demands a reference to SRV. But. See...... It's a classic? It's amazing? It's transcendent. It's perfect.

Charmax. My mother's favorite vidder. A very wide range but always thoughtful and devious in execution. A few faves:

"Seven Nation Army" - Multifandom - 2009. "Rainbow Coalition vs the fascist robots." There are some edits in this that I will never dislodge from my head, they are so ingrained in me. This fucking vid is like writ in my DNA.

"I'm Your Man" - Multifandom - 2008. The Femslash Cliche Vid. God this hit me at such a formative time in my life and helped contextualize my own feelings about women, and I'll always be grateful for it. It's a celebration, and I love it.

"Protege Moi" - Supernatural - 2006.  GOD THIS IS ANCIENT BUT I STILL LOVE IT. It's slightly Wincesty which I was a DeanCas person for the ten seconds I was in SPN but WHO CARES this video is so dense with style and some honest to fucking god Baroque-looking moments, it's still amazing. Only a touch over a minute long, entire in black and white and red, the way shadow and light move together is to this day incredible.

Luminosity. They created Scooby Road, one of the greatest pieces of transformative work. It's the fucking Detective Pony of vidding.

"Scooby Road" - Buffy the Vampire Slayer - 2005. Guys. This is the entirety of the Beatles Abbey Road album set to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Or, yanno, vice versa. I don't know how to express the monumental work this is. I don't. To me, this is a pinnacle. I have never watched Buffy myself, so that's gonna sound extra weird, but this is just formative. Please watch it. Then, honest to god, go fucking read some of the commentary linked in the Fanlore article about it. It's mandatory. Fuck. I would do some dark shit to get ahold of the DVD, ngl. boy, you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time

obsessive24. I don't know how justified the idea is, but there are times I've thought about O24's stuff like fucking............. Arthouse Fanvids, because they are often so fucking brave and devious and against the grain. Also their use of continuous motion in so of their vids gets me uh really revved up? Yeah.

"OMG!" - Torchwood/Doctor Who - 2004. THAT SAID I'M GONNA REC A COMEDY ONE FIRST. God, so this is a cut of a then-newly-dropped Lily Allen song that appeared on the radio. So the DJ randomly "talks over this to prevent bootleggers." And O24 reframes this as fuckign Torchwood interjecting into mainline Doctor Who and it's ingenious. I love it. I love this medium. I think my favorite part is that before the interjections start, it's already a great vid, and then the stupidity starts and it's just elevated. It will be a hot show. BYE I'M DYING. I'M GONE.

"Cells" - Fight Club - 2006. I think this was the first vid of O24's I saw and I remember watching it about ten times in a row just trying to absorb it fully. It's one of those moments of tremendous unity in song and source and editing. Astounding and hypnotic work. (NSFW for violence and nudity, obvs)

... a lot of others but you'd be best looking at their site and judging for yourself what you wanna tackle. INCREDIBLE SHIT. VERY INTENSE. /ahem

Laura Shapiro. I was gonna just link one vid in the next section, the stand alone vids, but looking at her site it seems she's made uh MANY of my all time faves! Okay! You'll need this link to her site, as many of her vids aren't available anywhere else. They are worth the download.

"Mothership" - Doctor Who - ?. My mother's favorite fanvid. It's pure incandescent joy and has weirdly one of my all time favorite transitions/edits, at "it's more like a big ball of vibration and frequency." Something about it is........ jubilant and perfect. Watching this vid is like treating yourself.

"Goody Two Shoes" - due South - ?. Ah yes. The Fraser Vid. This is not just the character set to music. It's like having a lens tightened into place that finally makes Fraser come into focus. I would hazard to say this vid is why I watched due South (it was before my time, I had to buy the DVDs for RayV then pirate RayK, those were the days). It's sweet and clever and it's got layers in itself, and the tongue is so firmly in cheek. Like rewatching this.... this video feels like really intense innuendo, and an exercise in sexual frustration, between the Rays and Fraser, but also between the citizens of Chicago and Fraser. How the fuck don't they strangle him? Oh right. He's gorgeous. I mean, obviously

Astolat. If there was anyone who "needs no introduction," it's fucking Astolat, who kicked off Vividcon and started Yuletide and who named the AO3. Like. Jesus christ. Their fanfic was goddamn influential in my life as a fanperson. Anyway. They did a lot of vidding too. Holy shit.

"Zebra" - due South - 2005. Okay. I can definitively say I got into dS in 2005 because I got into it because of this video. I'm thirty seconds into a rewatch and I think I'm gonna have to go rewatch dS before the end of the year. Jesus fucking christ. Ray Kowalski was my Type before I knew I had a character type. But romantic tricksters with a tenuous grip on their own identity who will do anything for the Greater Good up to and including immoral acts-- that's this character, that's this vid, and it's brilliant. This is a vid that clearly and coherently explains Ray Kowalski and sells you on an idea. It's like a vid going "hey your first hit is free, now go buy all these fucking DVDs of this oldass show because you need more." Yeah, it's like that.

"Pon de Replay" - Entourage - 2007. I have never seen Entourage. I can only assume these two dude get it on on the reg in that show. It's the only acceptable reality. This is fun. This is a treat for yourself. And you should always treat yourself.

"Bohemian Like You" - Stargate: Atlantis - 2006. This is a must-watch for two reasons: 1. It looks so fuckign dated in a very particular way. The footage with the SciFi channel logo in the corner, the rapid slideshot intro/outro, a few odd moments. This video feels like a piece of an era that a lot of y'all do not know, and I want you to see it. 2. It's still a fucking great vid with a lot of funny moments. There are so many cute and clever moments. I think my fave is the "no I haven't heard your band but you guys are pretty new" and all the moments of Shepard being kind of a clumsy fuck? I love it. It's endearing. Go try it.

Some loose single-vid recs

"Welcome To The Jungle" - Hot Fuzz - Danegen, 2007. I cannot fucking believe the mediafire link still works, holy fucking shit. There are times I think this might be my favorite vid. It's perfection. It encapsulates everything Hot Fuzz is about and goes hard as hell and is a delight to watch every time. Just. /chef's kiss

"Tonight I'm Fucking You" - XMen First Class - kuwdora, 2011. Look I'm not sure this is a pinnacle of any vidding artform but it's deliriously fun and cheeky and it's been SEVEN YEARS and I remember it, that has to mean something doesn't it? God it's so well-done, I adore it. That year after XMFC came out was a rodeo. (Also that soulful little moment at "baby you'd be the truth" i fucking DIE LAUGHING EVERY TIME. A THE LUDACRIS GUEST VERSE. Fffffuck. Actually I take it back, maybe this i the pinnacle of something. <3)

"Machine" - Mass Effect - beccatoria, 2012. THIS VID IS A MARVEL. Taking the disjointed confused themes and narrative of the Mass Effect Trilogy and drawing out such a remarkable cohesion is a miracle in of itself, but the depth of storytelling here boggles my fucking mind. Shepard set up as a reluctant transhumanist messiah and the direct parallel in scope and power to the Reapers is a more fascinating narrative than Bioware ever imagined telling. This is a STORY. Watch it.

"Time To Begin" - Community - atsp88, 2012. Hey look it's everything wonderful and heartfelt and optimistic and loving about Community in a single video. Brisk and cathartic and lovely, a true ensemble piece that to me feels like a pitch to embrace compassion.

""White" & Nerdy" - Psych - talitha78, 2009. Equal parts commentary and ballin' fun, I fucking adore this vid. When i think about how meta has largely moved to written essay form and away from vidform (not that it was the only form of meta obvsly) this is the kind of thing I miss. Insightful and colorful and loving. A+++ There is something about this style of interacting with the canon that I like. It's a critique. It's interesting to see a combination of constructive and deconstructive meshed together.

"Working Class Hero" - Firefly/Serenity - bradcpu, 2007. Imagine being 17 and coming into adulthood and seeing this shit. Formative. In a way I feel like this is a sort of inversion of a fanvid. It's less applying music to the source and more applying the source to the music, if that even remotely makes sense. The message of the song is lifted and heightened by the careful application of familiar imagery.

"Handlebars" - Doctor Who - Flummery, 2008. I cannot make someone understand the atomic explosion of this vid. You have to understand, this came WELL before we knew the conclusion of Ten's arc, and it called all of it. It's best explained by the Fanlore article on it. I could literally go shot by shot on the brilliance of this video and it's terrifying dark apotheosis of Ten. The split second nervous sideeye of Madame du Pompadour. Rose silently calling out to Ten outside his vision. The fucking long drop zoom shot of "my cause is noble, my power is pure," the repeated application of ramped up Messianic imagery, the moment when Ten just fuckign slams the camera and it goes black for a half-beat, and the way is comes back with "it feels so good to be alive and on top" and Ten's fucking face. And the terrifying recontextualization of Ten snapping his finger to open the TARDIS, from happy ending to harbinger of doom. Absolute. Fucking. Masterpiece.

"Pavlov's Bell" - due South - butterfly, 2006. Uh. I don't know how to talk about this video. i don't even know if it belongs in this post, honestly. But I feel like I've been haunted by this vid for at this point a large chunk of my life. I'm honestly just astounded and relieved it's still available for download. Formative. Yeah. Really intensely bedrock formative. /coughs and wipes eyes. Man, dusty in here huh.

That's all. Happy viewing. Reblogs are fine. Please feel free to hit me up to discuss this shit. I am fuckdeep in nostalgia.

[reefs-n-relaxation]

Getting to Know me

There’s a thought that often times pops into my head when I’m super depressed, “nobody knows who you are, not really.” You’d think that’s just the depression talking, but it’s actually true. I unintentionally do a pretty good job of hiding aspects of myself. In an attempt to rectify that, I’m going to ramble on about whatever comes to my mind. I’m not interesting or anything, but if I were to suddenly vanish I’d like if people actually had a proper idea of who I was. Here we go:

Name: My name is Reilly. That one I haven’t really kept much of a secret, haha. Who Am I: I’m a guy who was raised by two different households which I’m very greatful for because I think it helped me in being more open minded and aware of stuff in life. Later on I was also raised by an even larger household known as the internet. I loved going on to youtube to watch AMVs, listen to Linkin Park, and check out memes, but I loved it most of all for a chat site called TinierMe. TinierMe introduced me to so many people who had the same interests when back home nobody in the area really understood me or gave a shit about my interests. My pals from TinierMe helped me so so much in becoming who I am today, but its closure and the subsequent loss of said friends put me in a DEEP depression that hasn’t gone away no matter how many friends, exercise, medication, or improved eating habits I throw at it. I don’t let me depression define me, I’m not just a sad sack and I do what I can to keep people around me from being sad, but it’s also done a lot of damage and influenced many of my life decisions. Depending on my mood I could either give everyone in the world a hug and some good memories and compassion, or I could destroy the planet without a moments hesitation. At my worst and most depressed I used to go to certain websites and watch people die to make myself feel better, not because I liked watching people die, but because I liked to pretend they were me. It was fucked up, and I’m not like that anymore nor have I gone on to the site in years. I’m very ashamed and saddened at how desensitized I’ve made myself. These days I try to be far more positive and increase positivity in others as well, and it’s very hard work but also very worth it. In the end, I’m a passive average joe who likes to think, observe nature’s beauty (especially oceans and the stars), and dream about having dreams. I’m not really overly good or bad at anything, and when I die it’ll go unnoticed by the world.

Favorite Color: This is always changing. Usually though my favorite colors are shades of pink, purple, or green. 

Favorite Food: My food tastes are all over the place. I’m willing to try just about anything, though I tend to dislike foods that are eaten by themselves (Ex. steak, pork chops, chicken breast). That being said, my #1 comfort food would have to be fried/coconut shrimp with some fries and cola. It’s not something to have very often, but every time I do have it I’m relaxed and genuinely happy/SUPER.

Music Tastes: My musical tastes are about as varied as my food tastes but I’ll try to condense a list of some of my all-time favorite stuff:   Grynpyret - Boba Beach   Sonata Arctica - San Sebastian   Flight Facilities - Clair De Lune (feat. Christine Hoberg)   The Protomen - Keep Quiet   Flight of the Conchords - Rambling Through the Avenues of Time   The Pierces - We Are Stars   Oasis - Don’t Look Back in Anger   Milo - The Ballad of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy   John Denver- Annie’s Song   Enigma - Sadeness   Akeboshi - Seeds   Rei Brown - Picture Frames This list was waaaaaay harder to make than I thought it’d be, and there’s stil a whole lot I’m leaving out haha. 

Favorite Movie: Swiss Army Man by far. The music, scenery, plot, symbolism, humor, writing, acting, every aspect of the film is pretty close to perfection in my eyes. When I saw it for the first time I was mentally in a situation very similar to the main character though, so I know there’s a bit of bias here. The movie is weird and definitely isn’t for everyone, but very few movies about a suicidal mean teaching a corpse that life’s worth living will be. Please go check this film out!

Hobbies: I really don’t do much in life aside from lay motionless in bed like a vampire waiting for the moon to rise. I enjoy scribbling and imagining about creatures and characters but never actually doing anything with these thoughts. I’ve also taken up painting miniatures which can be quite fun. My main hobby though is voice acting. Recently I’ve been straying away from it, but it’s brought me a lot of joy and helped me to meet a bunch of really cool people so I’m sure I won’t be gone for long.  Love Life: Once upon a time I had a wonderful dream, it took place in a wonderful Venice-like city with pastel colored buildings and vibrant plantlife everywhere. This dream spawned a crush that crippled me for YEARS. Nothing ever came of it in the end though, which is probably for the best. I’d like to think I’m a romantic, but really I’m just lazy and want someone to talk to haha. So, in conclusion I probably should not’ve added this segment, but oh well.  Friends: Over my life I’ve had so many friends. Frankly I’m a VERY shitty friend to have, and I feel bad for people who like me to tell you the truth. That being said I love each of my friends very much, even if I don’t show it and push them away. Favorite Book: When I was little I used to love reading and would read all kinds of stuff, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve read books less and less. I think school is to blame for this, but some of my favorite books have come from forced readings. At the height of my love for reading I actually used to browse a fanfiction site named after Lemmy Koopa from Super Mario every day haha. These days I mostly just read Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure with the occasional comic book or other Shonen Jump series. Favorite Video Game(s): This is always a hard question for me, but I always reach the same conclusion: The World Ends With You. It’s a game I picked up in my younger more emo and angsty about socity years, so the game and especially the ending were very influential to me. I play and have played all kinds of games, however, I love the culture and creativity of video games far more than actually playing them. When it comes to Nintendo stuff though, I could talk about most series’ all day (Yoshi and Kapp’n are two of my favorite characters in all of gaming), and Smash Bros. especially always makes me happy because of how it brings everyone together. P.S. A Rhythm Heaven rep for Smash PLEASE Random Thought/Philosophy: One of my favorite games is Yoshi’s Island on the SNES. That game in particular has a fantastic philosophy. The game is a simple platformer where you must traverse the level with a baby on your back who you have to take care of by not getting hit. You can beat the levels normally, or you can try to perfect the levels by finding all of the hidden red coins, hidden flowers, and by not allowing the baby to take damage. Each level has a brand new Yoshi (indicated by a new color) and introduces new elements and themes. These ideas translate well to a happy life in my eyes. Take good care of those who you love and those who you can protect, go with the flow and embrace whatever new experiences life throws at you, don’t be afraid of change, and you don’t always have to be perfect just make sure that you are having fun as you go along.

I think that’s good for now. Apologies for the long post, but this is something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time but haven’t really had the courage or the drive to do. If you’re reading this I both apologize and thank you for taking the time to do so, and I hope your opinion of me hasn’t soured (though if it has that’s completely understandable). If you have any other questions or clarifications about stuff that you’d like to know I’d be delighted to talk to you, but if not that’s cool too. Hope you’re having a wonderful day/night, and hope you keep having these wonderful days until we meet again. :)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #42

“i don’t ask much, i just want you.”

have you ever been to the white house?   no, i haven't. what are your plans for tomorrow?   not shit.  like always.  maybe be able to adopt my snake. do you have a debit card?   no why did you stop working at the last place you were employed?   i kept having anxiety attacks that induced vomiting. have you ever made out with a complete stranger?   no...? what would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child?   probably kill myself. are you very close to your siblings?   no would you kiss the last person you kissed again?   i'd love to. what bugged you about the last person you dated?   well i know now that he's not very understanding.  but he tried to be. have you ever slapped someone, why?   i hit my sister when i was little.  don't remember why. have you ever had sex with someone the same night you met them?   no, because i'm not a whore. if you could fly or breathe underwater, what would you choose?   the latter, i think. is your life the same as it was a year ago?   exactly the fucking same. are you in love with someone?   should be obvious enough. what is your relationship status? are you happy with that?   single, and no.  i'm lonely as fuck. have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president?   hell no. when people smoke around you, does it make you cough?   sometimes.  it'll always give me a headache. would you rather name your child michelle or monica?   michelle do you know anyone who works at mcdonald’s?   no have you ever felt like you lost a part of yourself?   i KNOW i fucking have.  when jason left, it was like the majority of me fucked off. have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair?   no. when you younger and misbehaved, what did your parents threaten you with?   mom would threaten to spank me or take away computer privileges do you think it’s weird how babies are made?   i mean yeah, i guess, but it is what it is. how would you react if your last ex wanted to get back together?   i would just... fuck, man.  i'd be so damn happy. are you comfortable in a short skirt?   fuck no. do you and your family go on a vacation every year?   no.  we never do. when you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them?   absolutely not.  i don't care who my celeb crush is, no one lights a candle to jason. does your dad swear?   yeah if your last kiss asked you on a date, what would you say?   absofuckinglutely!!! do you think braces are sexy?   does anybody, really?  it's just something you tolerate.  i don't think anyone's "sexy quotient" is affected by whether or not she/he wears braces. do you know anyone that is gothic?   i'd love to be a goth if i could afford the wardrobe. how many coats of mascara do you use?   like two what were you almost named?   kathryn does your family hire someone to do your chores for you?   no do you know how to use photoshop?   very vaguely how about sony vegas?   yeah what is the main reason you want to have children when you grow up?   idk, i just... do?  when i was with jason, i wanted children because i loved him so much and thus human instinct would have it i wanted his kids, but now that i'm with nobody idk, i just want kids one day.  i guess. what do you struggle with?  depression, anxiety, ptsd, bipolarity, no job, no money...  i struggle with everything. are you self conscious?  VERY what is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)?   brittany marie is all you need to know. what day did you take your first breath?   february 5th, 1996 what are the names of the lovely individuals that brought you into this world?   donna and ken. the stereotyped image of a girl LOVES to shop. does this hold true to you?   i like to shop only if it's for myself.  i know that sounds greedy, but i just like... don't get the pleasure sensation otherwise. even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. what’s yours?   hottopic which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties?   if i wear underwear, bikini. describe your style for me, using minimal words?   comfortable do you have a walk in closet? do you even have a closet it all?   no, yes. tampons or pads? why?   tampons, because i don't like feeling like wearing a bloody diaper. do you ever pamper yourself? what do you do?   no, because i'm fucking poor. do you like surprises?   no.  i get scared of what it is. how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?   none. when is the last time you watched a hockey game?   yearrrrssss ago. ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor?   nope. have you ever been to a strip club?  no, and i never will. do you listen to a variety of music, or do you tend to stick to one genre?   i stick to a genre.  metal. when you’re going to be at home all day, do you bother to get out of your pajamas?   no.  which is like every day. do you play angry birds?   no.  i just recently saw the movie tho and it was super cute. what do you have pierced on you?   ears, nose. what’s important about april?   my little sister's birthday is there anyone who hates you?   probably if I say “psycho”, who is the first person that comes to your mind?   me dated someone more than once?   no where did you get the last shirt you were wearing?   hottopic does your mom know your deepest darkest secrets?   no. are you scared of needles?   nah, not really. do you know what an ‘amv’ is?   yeah, i make them sometimes. how many songs are on your ipod/mp3 player?   over 1,000 are there any orange clocks in your house?   no do mice freak you out?  not at all. how many formal dances did you or have you gone to in high school?   i went to two proms. is there a certain movie you always cry at when you watch it?   yeah, "the notebook" tears me up everytime. are any of your siblings married?  yeah do you like kiwi?   hell yes. ever go ghost hunting?   no when it’s time to dress up for a special occasion, are you more likely to wear a dress, a skirt, or dress pants?   dress if you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? what is your favorite flavor?   milk, bc i dislike its flavor when i add water.  my fave's apples and cinnamon. if you could only own a hair dryer, curling iron, or straightener, which one would you choose?   straightener if you’re straight, have you ever thought about kissing the same sex? if you’re gay, have you ever thought about kissing the opposite sex?   no. your last relationship, who dumped who?   he dumped me. do you believe in love at first sight? explain.   no, because even thinking it's possible to look at someone and love them is ignorant as fuck. do you keep a planner?   no, because i don't need one.  i don't do anything significant, ever. do you want kids anytime soon?   no. are you excited for next year?   not really.  new years doesn't mean anything.  what occurs in time isn't affected by one year suddenly ending and changing into another.  2017 will be just as bad as 2016, probably. do you know any german words?   i took four classes of it, i know plenty. do you say any words that are pretty specific to your area?   no have you ever smoked?   nope can you make yourself cry?  no. have you ever held a starfish?   i don't think so. would you rather live in hawaii or alaska?   alaska could you use a haircut?   totally what do you put on your scrapes or cuts?   usually, nothing.  sometimes a band-aid. do you like cheez-its or cheese nips better?   cheez-its by a long shot. have you ever held a snake?   yes.  i hope to again very soon<3 do you know anyone from canada?   yeah, jacob's ex.  nice girl. has a wild animal ever been loose in your house?   mice are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound?   naw, shit's cool. have you ever met an alaskan?   only online.  my friend mikaela's alaskan. did you ever play spyro?   lmao.  i'd STILL be playing it if i had my ps2. have you ever had a near death experience?   car wreck, yeah. do you think some babies are ugly?   some definitely are. do you love stuff crusted pizza?   no, actually. do you apply lotion after you bathe?   no, but i REALLY should. has a youtube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views?  nah son. would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone?   ha ha, i already do. do gangs scare you?   of course they do.  the bloods tried to break into our house once when ashley was home alone with maddie. what do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public?   i don't care how big your boobs are, if your breasts are developed, wear a bra, please.  it's only to be decent. does your best friend wear makeup?   she rarely does. do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship?   be a fucking adult and fix the damn problems. would you rather have donuts or donut holes?   donuts do you still watch movies on vhs?   no, mom got rid of ours have you used a ouija board and had a freaky experience with it?   no, never used one. what’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have?   get rid of my depression.  god, please. what “group” did you belong to in high school?   everyone considered me an emo.  guess i was and still am one, i'm so ridiculously emotional. what is the best thing you have done in your life?   dated jason. what is your favorite animal? list three adjectives to explain your choice.   meerkats, as they're very social, ridiculously bold, and curious. what was your nickname growing up?   twinkie if you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why?   a meerkat biologist, because i love meerkats so much and they make me happy. have you ever had feelings for 2 people at the same time?   nope. if you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?   at my age, no. if your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back?  probably not, honestly. have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated?   yep do you think the next person you kiss will be a better kisser than the last person you kissed?   HA.  i HIGHLY doubt that.