#long post warning

[daguerreotypen]

Les Diaboliques / Diabolique Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955

[boinday]

[This is a story about Fate and Agency... And sexy pirates and monsters and the most reckless Princess alive]

Read the comic for free here! Hope you enjoy ^_^

[stergeon]

enbarr, sometime in 1186:

ok so @frozenartscapes made this addition to my post about byleth and edelgard writing each other letters all the time, right:

well i kind of lost my mind and now we're here.

i'm sure this meeting is salvageable :0) hubert's sanity, however,

[generation-fucked-nostalgia]

Old Facebook games -- Which ones did you play?

[dantheserialkillerman]

Hiroki Dan X GN!Teacher (one shot)

Contains: Gender Neutral Reader and Age Difference General warning: Medium-length post (1,461 words) TW: Possessiveness/Yandere vibes Characters: Hiroki Dan and You

– There is a theory called The Green World by Northrop Fry. It's actually quite simple. Shakespeare's comedies follow a structure: in spring, the fertility month, the characters transition from the everyday world, faced with societal bondage, to the wild, where everything becomes topsy turvy, back to the ordinary world renewed and unbound. As you skimmed your class, you couldn't help but wonder if the same theory also applied to your life. This moment did feel wild.

– The semester is your first as a teacher at one of Toyko's most highly regarded private high schools, and according to the curious stares from your students, they don't know what to make of you. It sets you on edge. Yet, there is also great excitement as you finally have fulfilled your dream of educating the next generation after years of studying. Is there a word for both terror and elation? Perhaps euphoria? It did once mean to be removed from one's body. However, frisson seems to settle in your mind. Your hair does feel on end.

– One..two...three...breath...one...two...three...breath. You repeat this phrase over and over again as you start your lesson. This subject is your favourite, and not to brag, but you are an expert in this field; the school would have never hired you otherwise, and the parents would have you fired, flayed, and put out front as a warning for everyone else. Even some universities would pale in comparison. These are households of politicians, millionaires, and businessmen. The top of the top and greatness ensures they only produce greatness, or at least the image of it.

– Everything seems to be going well; to your surprise, the kids are actively engaged, yet you cannot help but sense an uneasiness. You feel dissected, like a butterfly being prepped for a display case. When turning around, an intensity makes you pause over a word to prevent a stutter. You swear unseen hands are rushing over your body as if to hold you and say, "Stay still; I deserve to look," for what reason you don't know. It's nerves, you tell yourself, focus on the lesson; you can't mess up the first class.

– But it happens again during the next lesson. Then, the one after that. Again and again until finally, when handing back the first assignment, you meet the cause after class.

– It was Autumn when the weather couldn't decide if it wished to be hot or cold, the leaves turning into a violent swarm of reds and oranges as if the trees were on fire. It had been a long day; you had to send someone to the head office for interrupting class, forgot your lunch, and were stuck grading papers. The only people still here were after-school clubs and occasionally teachers you heard walking in the halls.

– You were so absorbed in your work that you couldn't help but jump when you felt a tap on your shoulder and a soft "Excuse me" in your ear. Looking up in shock, you are surprised to see a man...well, a teenager. Handsome for his age, most likely eighteen and in his final year, with a shock of dark hair and eyes against pale skin, a warm smile breaks the otherwise monochrome facade. An image of Adder Snake flashes in your mind when he tilts his head and beams...it is as if he enjoyed scaring you.

– "Oh, I'm sorry, professor," he places a hand over his heart and straightens, "I merely wanted to get your attention." His eyes are so black that you can see your own startled reflection, and despite being in a more senior position, how small you look compared to this boy. You hate it.

– "It's fine," you look at the clock, "it's past five; shouldn't you be heading home, or is there something I can help you with?" You attempt to clean your desk to make it look moderately presentable. In reality, you wanted to seem busy so you didn't have to look him in the eye again. There was something profoundly unnerving about how he could pin you down with merely a look.

– His hand moves gracefully into his bag and pulls out a piece of paper; you recognize it as the recently returned assignment from your afternoon class. He places it delicately on your desk, atop the other essays you were grading. Pompous little shit, you couldn't help but think. You tilt over and see the grade, a ninety-five, the highest score you gave out recently.

– Picking up the paper, you hold it out for the student to take back, "It was very well-written and researched, particularly the second paragraph. Congratulations..." You quickly glance at the paper, hopefully discreetly, "Hiroki-kun." The name settled in your mouth like honey, sticking to your throat unpleasantly despite how sweet it sounded.

– He leans against the desk, the same plain smile upon his face and a light chuckle escaping his upturned lips. There is an uneasiness in the air, that pressure you felt during the day in increments, dilating in this very moment.

– "Thank you," he moves closer, and you realize the door is closed; who shut it? "But I wanted to ask," Closer, "what could I have done to have gained that extra five percent?"

– "I..." You feel speechless, your face hot from panic, "Well...you could've shortened it, perhaps?" Say anything to get him to leave.

– "That's it?"

– "It was written very well; I wouldn't worry about your grade."

– He takes the paper and folds it absent-mindedly, "I will take it to heart," as if to prove it, he holds the essay to his chest, "You are my favourite teacher here, and any advice you give me is a great help." To your horror, he looks somewhat bashful. Yet, it would be a lie to say it didn't stroke your ego.

– You clear your throat, "Thank you, but it is getting late-"

– "Let me walk you to your bike." You wonder how he knew you biked to school? "My father is the police superintendent General, and I am also heading out; I don't want someone so..." He looks down to where you are sitting, "vulnerable to walk outside by themselves."

– You weighed the options in your head. Saying no could hurt your reputation; this was the kid of a high-ranking official, and if you pissed off Daddy, you would be fired on the spot. Was it unnerving and inappropriate? Yes. But you couldn't think of a way to worm your way out of this dilemma. It was a true dichotomy.

– "I wouldn't want to burden a young man like yourself...."

– His smile stretched wider, so vast you could count each pearly white tooth. What big teeth you have..." It would be my pleasure."

– Hiroki demanded to carry your briefcase and, while you walked, asked miscellaneous questions about your life. How old are you? Do you live alone? Are you Married? How far do you live from campus? You tried to answer him subtly, attempting to dodge the questions with little skill. You cursed the school for being so big and your pupil for being such a slow walker.

– Ten minutes later, you reach your bike. Or where it should have been. Nothing but the chain was attached to the fence. You look around and quickly conclude that someone has stolen it. Man, I'm a fucking genius, you thought sarcastically, but you had to Act professionally. Act bloody professional. Oh, God, how in the living hell would you get back to your dingy little apartment?

– "People these days," Hiroki shook his head, "my father has been trying to tamper down the rise in petty crime such as this," he slung your case over his shoulder, "but it seems he has a long way to go."

– You pushed your forehead in stress, "It's fine, I'll just take public transport." And it would be awful in that crowded cart filled with annoyed people.

– "Nonsense," He turned and started to walk towards the parking lot; in confusion, you began to follow him, "I own a car, and someone like yourself wouldn't be safe on public transport." He looked over his shoulder, and you felt your stomach sink, "I'll drive you home." Shit.

– "It's fine, really. Plus, you're a student-"

– "My father would never forgive me if I left you in such a state. Alone. Defenceless. I mean," He stopped and turned. Suddenly, you recognized how tall and broad he was as he towered over you. "I could attack you right now, and you would have no way to defend yourself." His left eye twitched softly like he trying to keep a particular thought at bay, and you felt your lungs freeze, "But you're lucky," He chuckled, "I would never harm my favourite teacher." The air seemed to stop momentarily as if the sky held its breath for what he would say next. "I only want to do a good deed," Another laugh, "They make me feel blessed," and softly grabbing your hand and bringing it to his cheek, he tilted his head into your palm, whispering, "Won't you bless me, teacher?"

– You wondered if Northrop Fry had a theory on Shakespearian tragedy. What dark world were you being brought into by those eyes?

[hoxooster]

On the DesBea situation:

I would've added my thoughts to the original post, but as I am not a part of their Discord server, I didn't think that that was any bit appropriate. However, I wanted to share some of my own personal experiences with her, so that y'all can see that her behavior in their server is a continuing pattern--I don't have pictures of what she said as proof, sadly, but I will explain why.

I'm also gonna slap this under a Read More. I apologize for its length, but the original callout post should be enough of an explanation as to why this post needs to be as long as it is.

And, as a quick aside, if any of you wish to completely block DesBea, NOT HARASS HER OR FEED INTO HER BEHAVIOR IN ANY WAY, be aware that her usernames are:

commence-screaming

des-paa-cee-toeee

pd3thoughts

If any of you know of any more, please tell me, and I will update this post. I don't want to be around her anymore than most people who've also interacted with her do.

About 2 years ago, I was invited to lilspacewolfie's server, Red's Ramblers, and I very quickly became a moderator there. Over time some people joined and a few left, but Ramblers remained stable through it all. DesBea joined later on into the server's lifespan, was around for awhile, said some nasty things, was given a warning (in the general), and just left without saying anything one day. After reading the screenshots in the callout post, I'm actually quite surprised by how much of a fit she threw in her efforts to make you guys apologize to her. Much like in the original post, with her gone from the server, things improved for everyone else, but the whole ordeal was rather confusing for all of us, in the aftermath.

See, DesBea was trying to be just as harmful in Ramblers, but it never really went anywhere.

Her hateful and self-pitying tendencies were the same around us as it was in their server. She really loved to talk shit about Yadoking and her writing--she would do this both in passing on random posts in the server, and while some of us were in-call when we'd play Payday 2 together as a group. It never smacked of genuine criticism for Yado's writing ability or style, as she only ever used childish language when doing it, and she would always do it right before she would try to push her own ideas and fics onto any of us who were online at the time. She was even trying to bully lilspacewolfie--which I will go more into later--over the tiniest of things. DesBea, in all of her posts, was either pushing someone else down, trying to make us all read about her rather disturbing fic ideas or headcanons, or trying to make herself look like the victim by claiming that she 'had bad experiences with abuse in the past' and that her 'PTSD was triggered over something someone in Ramblers had said' when we were trying to halt her bullshit.

It was all very aggravating to deal with, to say the least, but it also didn't have very much staying power, since most of us were just ignoring her in the server. And I do mean that, as most of the users in the Ramblers Discord server refused to interact with her posts over time, and people usually ignored her whenever she tried to insert herself into their conversations. It's probably why she left without much of a fight when lilspacewolfie posted "If you're being an asshole in this server, you better stop that shit right now" in the general chat. (That's not what she said, but y'all get the jist.)

Now, as for her bullying behavior in the server, I can't say for certain if she was targeting anyone besides lilspacewolfie (and badmouthing Yado from time to time, who wasn't even in the server), as I'm not a very outgoing or talkative individual. Despite the length of this post, I'm naturally quite taciturn, and even though I was a moderator in Ramblers, nobody in the server ever messaged me about any issues that they were having with anyone. But, I can say with accuracy that DesBea would go out of her way to harass lilspacewolfie--the creator and owner of the Red's Ramblers Discord server. Whenever she would join calls while we were playing together (but she was just watching from the server), she would only ever type in the voice chat channel, where she would wax poetic about her own fics and get rather offended that 'lilspacewolfie was intentionally ignoring her'. If we were playing a game of Payday 2 with her, DesBea would intentionally follow lilspacewolfie around as a character that she didn't particularly care for and spam callouts to scare and irritate her. And, when another user in the server was having an issue that caused them a lot of distress and made them go quiet for awhile (which had nothing to do with anyone or anything in Ramblers, when they were asked about it), DesBea tried to blame lilspacewolfie for it based on a lighthearted joke that she had made that dogged on Houston. So, not only was she trying to harass lilspacewolfie, but she was actively trying to turn others in the server against the owner of the Discord, as if she could muscle her out by making her out to be a villain.

Over a joke about a FICTIONAL character.

Because she started insinuating that lilspacewolfie had caused another user to 'go into a depressive spiral, and chased them away from the server with her insensitive comments about Houston', I got involved to shut that shit down. DesBea was always weirdly attached to me, because she had DM'd me a few times on Tumblr in the past. I can only guess that she thought that these few smatterings of messages made me her friend, and since, apparently, some people here think of me as being "Mr. John Payday", she figured that she could use me as an intimidating wall to hide behind whenever she was called out on her bullshit.

She was wrong.

After a while of still trying to get others in the server to hate lilspacewolfie for 'being mean to one of the other users in the server'--who ended up coming back once their mental health had improved, by the way--she finally left after the "Stop being a dick" post, and it took us a couple days to notice. So, all-in-all, it was a very weird and irritating experience, but, in this context, it shows a worrying trend of behavior that she ended up spreading to other servers.

Now, like I kind of glossed over earlier, I WAS a moderator in Red's Ramblers. (I ended up leaving the server last month due to personal reasons that're not germane to this situation, and I have no desire to talk about it on this forum.) As I was still a mod before I left, I took the time to delete every post and reaction made by people who were no longer in the server--this amounted to 7 people, DesBea included. So, all of her posts that I could've screencapped as evidence are gone, and even if they were still there, I wouldn't have access to them anymore, anyway. In fact, the only thing that I have left is this picture I took of my response to her whole "You're a bad person for hating Houston" spiel that she was going on and on about:

(I censored this to give some privacy to the person who DesBea tried to use as a cudgel to smack lilspacewolfie with blame for their condition at the time. Even though most people here probably won't recognize them from their in-server nickname, I didn't want to take any chances.)

But, anyway, as you have read from the callout post and these personal anecdotes that I have provided, her behavior in their server was an unsurprising, but also a very worrying trend that has effected at least 2 Discord servers and a good chunk of some of the people who were or still are in the Payday fandom.

If anything that y'all have read over these posts has angered any of y'all to the point of harassing her, PLEASE DON'T. Don't send her hate--anonymously or not. Don't engage with her. Just block her and make sure that others in the fandom are aware of her behavior, so they can avoid her if they wish to as well.

And, again, please tell me if she's operating under any usernames other than the ones I've listed. I was tired of her bullshit a long time ago, and I have no desire to entertain her further under yet another pseudonym.

[eunjiswife]

Grace Van Dien as Chrissy Cunningham in Stranger Things S04E01: The Hellfire Club #cinammonroll

[captaincassianandorr]

One Piece Live Action: Episode 1: Romance Dawn

[literalnobody]

One of my favourite scenes of Roha being a Crafty Bastard™ in all of Act One... >:3 You can read the entire story of these characters for free on Webtoons!

[foodsies4me]

6(?) Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

tagged by @faejilly, thank you for tagging me!💜

3 ships you like:

Malec, my forever hyperfixation that actually got me back into writing (TV Show Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood mainly)

Kurt Hummel/Happiness (He deserves to be happy, okay! Yes, I'm showing my Glee love for all to see.)

Patrick Brewer/David Rose (I love them, your honor. That said, choosing just three was difficult because there are so many good ships. I just ended up taking those I'm reading the biggest amount of fanfic for atm)

First Ship Ever:

This one ended up becoming a three-way tie because I couldn't tell you which one was first. So, here are the three ships that I shipped before knowing what those words even meant (aka 5 to 7 year old me).

Takari aka Takeru Takaishi/Hikari Yagami from Digimon. (These two will forever have a soft spot in my heart)

2. Sailor Uranus/Sailor Neptune from Sailor Moon (I love them so much!!!)

3. Yami Yugi (Atem)/Yugi Muto (Baby me was convinced they were a couple, leading to some interesting conversations with my parents.)

Last Song You Heard:

Marbles by The Amazing Devil

Currently Reading:

Something that the ever wonderful @to-the-stars-writing is spoiling me with but is still a surprise atm!

Other than that, my all-time favourite book that I reread (and sob over) at least once a month. (My only tattoo is from this book)

Currently Watching:

I'm not really watching anything at the moment as my brain hasn't been in a watching mode.

Currently Consuming:

Olives! I'm currently baking and thus snacking on olives as I wait for the pie to finish.

Currently Craving:

The pie that is baking in the oven!

I am tagging (without any pressure whatsoever) @to-the-stars-writing, @miss-mouse, @echo-bleu, @lawsofchaos1, @pocketoffeels and @myulalie as well as anyone else that sees this from me and wants to participate. (I'm always worried to tag people I don't know that well)

Stealing Jilly's idea for an easy copypasta:

3 ships you like:

First Ship Ever:

Last Song You Heard:

Currently Reading:

Currently Watching:

Currently Consuming:

Currently Craving:

[greenplumbboblover]

Looking at your Downloads page, I see you have a section entitled "Terms of Uses", in which you have numerous restrictions on how players may use your CC. I was wondering where you think you get the right to restrict usage of your material, since EA owns all rights to anything made for Sims games. Additionally, and in particular, the Sims 3 EULA specifically says that there can be no restrictions on how players use each others CC (section 2B4). Why do you think these laws don't apply to you?

Hey there,

First things first: I get why people ask others about this. I really do. But I think we sometimes forget that, TOUs, from a *legal* perspective, are incorrectly set up. (with other words, even with my TOU, I could technically never send a DMCA claim as the setup is incorrect).

We shouldn't forget that creator TOUs are there from a more morally correct perspective. My personal feelings on people just grabbing my items, especially meshes I meshed without asking, and then claiming as their own is just a dick move. Whether the EULA allows it or not. In the end, we're a community. Not a company.

Conversions on the other hand, that i've done (which my TOU does say) you can do all you'd like with it, as I don't own those meshes/textures at all. All rights reserved there.

Now, diving into the contract:

Section 2B4 says the following:

B. Contributing Content through The Sims 3 Launcher (Emphasis on LAUNCHER here)

(...) 4. In exchange for the right to use content contributed by other users through the Software, when you contribute content through the Software, you expressly grant to other users of the Software the non‐exclusive, perpetual, transferable, worldwide, irrevocable right to access and use, copy, modify, display, perform, and create and distribute derivative works from, your contributed content in connection with the Software, and to distribute and otherwise communicate your contributed content as a component of works that they create using the Software, for example, The Sims lots or The Sims videos, without further notice, attribution or compensation to you. You hereby waive any moral rights of paternity, publication, reputation, or attribution under applicable law with respect to EA’s and other players’ use and enjoyment of such content contributions in connection with the Software.

(SOURCE: https://media.contentapi.ea.com/content/dam/eacom/en-us/eula/eula-the-sims-3-row-pc-11-2015.pdf)

The way I, personally, understand it, and I read Copyrighting & Rights documents A LOT for my work and often confirm my findings with a third party, is:

It has to be content that's from and to the Launcher. Specifically with the exchange website in mind. We're talking Lots, Sims, Sims3pack store items. Videos recorded from TS3 > The sims 3 Launcher. Screenshots even. This is what this section specifically refers to.

The content needs to have come in a Sims3Pack specifically. Package files cannot be installed through the launcher, and therefore rules this part of the contract out as a potential illegal move. In fact, reading the full contract, it's a very gray area in said contract.

The "Software" (The sims 3) can't make meshes for you. It can't make textures, it can't make a script mod for you, but what it can make is the following within the game itself to share: Lots, Sims, Worlds (well, the TS3 Worlds EULA would come into play here, which is practically the same as TS3's), CASPart presets (So NOT CASparts), Patterns (again, TS3 Pattern tool EULA, assuming you didn't use a third party tool for this instead). Sharing "Objects" (in the sense of simply Presets), Pets and "Tattoos" (in the sense that, within CAS, you save your "Layered" tattoos and then share it on the exchange). With other words, the things you download OR share from/to the exhange, but not limited to third party websites, where the content also has to be installed through the Launcher. Those are the people you want to talk to, when they're complaining that people are modifying their Sims3packaged Sim/Lot. I'm the wrong target for this EULA honestly and sending this ask to.

In fact, just to do other people some favours, let's go through the whole Section B in a summarised, humanly readable way (Remember this is for the LAUNCHER)

EA/Origin account grants you the ability to download/upload from and to the launcher and it's websites (The Exchange for example)

Don't upload copyrighted stuff to the Exchange. EA has the rights to remove them then.

EA can use your lots/sims/presets of CASparts/objects in their promotion materials. As well as your images and videos even. You automatically grant permission to this once you share it to an EA website. (The Exchange)

See above.

The part that I do find interesting, and I know TS2's EULA had the same thing, is the following (I bolded the interesting part):

2. Intellectual Property Rights and Ownership. A. Reservation of Rights. You have purchased a limited license to the Software and your rights are limited to the license grant above and subject to this License. You may not otherwise copy, display, distribute, perform, publish, modify, or use the Software or any component of it. You are prohibited from making a copy of the Software available on a network where it could be used or downloaded by multiple users. Except as expressly licensed to you herein, EA and its licensors, as applicable, owns and reserves all right, title and interest in the Software, and all related data, characters, themes, objects, storyline, images, photographs, graphics, animations, video, music, text, and the associated copyrights, trademarks, moral rights and other intellectual property rights therein. This License is limited to the intellectual property rights of EA and its licensors in the Software and does not include any rights to other patents or intellectual property. Except to the extent permitted under applicable law, you may not decompile, disassemble, reverse engineer or created derivative works of the Software by any means whatsoever. You may not remove, alter, or obscure any product identification, copyright, or other intellectual property notices in the Software. All rights not expressly granted herein are reserved to EA

Now, you may think the term "Created Derivative works" must mean specifically modified meshes, but I'm guessing this was actually put in for in case someone is modifying Speed tree trees.

Besides, the meaning is:

Derivative work refers to a copyrighted work that comes from another copyrighted work. Copyrights allow their owners to decide how their works can be used, including creating new derivative works off of the original product.

Regarding the part of software modification: Third-party tools (such as S3PE) would seriously edge the line here, contract speaking. They don't have disassembled/reverse engineered code of the "Software" but they do create a copy of the content(s) in memory. (Think: meshes, textures, reading of package files)

The contract, however, is in this section extremely vague for a court to figure out whether they also mean textures/meshes taken from the game and modified as an override.

So if I have some feedback for their lawyers who wrote this, here you go :p. Though, let's be honest, the contract is only set up with EA's services in mind. I actually think those are the huge shortcomings in this contract.

Sorry this got so long. But I've had these talks SO often, that it's getting a bit tiring.

Please PLEASE PLEASE send the contract first to a third party that has a degree in law (which I have done, to someone who does international laws & Software laws), before sending asks like these. I know you mean it out of goodwill, I really do, but it's simply incorrect the way you're interpreting it.

[guardian-angle22]

Carlos is practicing for his Dad!look

[in response to this post]

I'm sorry my reply took so long, anon, but my invasive thoughts told me I absolutely had to make visuals for this, and so... it had to be done.

I would like to present the various versions of dad!Carlos I've observed thus far...

embarrassing-at-sporting-events-dad!Carlos:

trying-to-get-all-the-children-to-listen-dad!Carlos:

chronic-eye-strain-from-helping-with-homework-dad!Carlos (kids have homework on computers these days, right?):

bonding-over-wine-with-the-grandparents-dad!Carlos (or fellow parents at a... book club? is that something parents do?):

making-snacks-for-the-kids'-study-group-dad!Carlos (those kids will have the fanciest snacks ever):

'what-did-you-just-say?-dad!Carlos (I so clearly don't have kids but I feel like this look could appear often):

actual-playing-with-kids-dad!Carlos (the most obvious of dad-like moments):

thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[inkcurlsandknives]

Querying Stats for Saints!

This post originally went out via my author newsletter, but I realized that if I’m finally going to start using tumblr as an author platform that means I HAVE A BLOG AGAIN!! 

I  recently announced that Saints of Storm and Sorrow, my Filipino Epic Fantasy sold in a two book deal to Titan UK and will be coming out June of 2024. (if you’re interested in Submission Stats definitely go sign up for my newsletter as those stats will go out exclusively in this month’s newsletter. I also send out whatever Filipino recipe I’m tinkering with at the moment, this month is a mouthwatering Kang kong/water spinach adobo stirfry)

Saints was pitched as a Filipino EMPIRE OF SAND X POPPY WAR Lunurin, a mestiza stormcaller, hides in a convent—from the Inquisition branding her a witch, and the Goddess of Storms, who sings of drowning colonizers. When she’s discovered, a marriage-of-convenience might save her from the Church, but not her Goddess. A typhoon is brewing in Lunurin’s bones. Freeing it will destroy the violent colonizers, but also the family she found in the convent and her new marriage.  

QUERY STAT TIME!

I’d like to start by saying I did query 3 books in addition to Saints, And They Called Her Stormbringer (2018- Epic Fantasy), One Half a Dead Witch (2019-Contemporary Fantasy), and Mushroom ABCs (2022- Picture Book) and I’m glad to have signed with an agent who’s so supportive of my backlist. If I’m completely honest I sent my first query for And They Called Her Stormbringer, my freshman year of college in 2012 and received such a brutal (though personalized) rejection that I stopped querying for 6 years and creative writing for almost 2. I will admit now that the feedback was accurate, but as a young writer I had no idea what to do with it or how to revise as I had no writing partners or critique groups at the time.

Fast forward almost a decade. Saints of Storm and Sorrow was fast drafted all 131k words in 31 days for Nanowrimo 2020. I worked to revise it with help from beta readers and CPs from February through August of 2021, I’m a fast drafter and a slow reviser. I went through several rounds of revision. I started querying Saints in the fall of 2021. In Oct 2021 I learned I’d gotten into Pitchwars with my amazing mentor Michella Domenici <3 and I quickly pulled all my active queries and fulls promising to resend the manuscript after the revisions I’d complete during the Pitchwars Mentorship. I then spent the winter of 2021 in an absolute whirlwind of revisions that culminated in the PitchWars Showcase in February 2022. I got 15 requests!! I was thrilled and sure that my querying journey would soon be over!! Saints and I then entered the LONG WAIT. I went into and came out of several writing burn out funks. At no point in the last five years I’ve never written so little as I did in 2022, I found it very hard to write the wait for the first time in my querying journey. Every few months I’d drag myself out of my agonies of waiting and hurl out another thirty or forty queries. Over TEN months post PitchWars I sent a total of 164 queries for Saints of Storm and Sorrow, I received 50 full requests, 4 partial requests, and finally 3 offers. For those who like maths that’s a 33% request rate. In my low moments it started to feel like I’d written a great query but a terrible book! I was told the pacing was too slow and too fast, that the world building was too hard to grasp and not detailed enough! I completed a panic revision in September 2022 trying to address these issues. I nudged everyone who still had my full or partials with the revision, and low and behold two months later, Saints got its first offer on the week of Thanksgiving. I was ecstatic. I asked for three weeks to consider (on account of thanksgiving) and quickly sent out nudges for every open full (18!) AND every query remaining open (65!). OVER 80 emails/Query Tracker messages WOW. 10 more requests for fulls and extensions to read came in. I waited, my inbox rattling with news for almost three weeks. I don’t ever want to send that many emails again! My agent Ramona Pina with Bookends actually ended up requesting my full on my original decision date! But I’d been asked for an extension by a few other agents and let her know she had 3 more days if she wanted to read. Ramona read Saints in two days and the day before my extended decision date sent me her offer of rep. We hopped on a call and I quickly realized there was no way I could decide in 24 hours between such excellent agent choices. I reached out to the other offering agents requesting the weekend to consider and contacted several of Ramona’s clients to get their perspective. After a weekend of decision agony I made the best decision for me and Saints of Storm and Sorrow.

I can’t emphasis enough how much of this process depended on LUCK and GRIT. The Luck of finding a fellow Filipina mentor in Pitchwars who totally understood my vision for the book. The luck of getting Saints into the right hands at the right time. The GRIT to keep sending my query package out even though at points I was convinced far too many people had rejected it to ever find my yes. My book had to get in front of SO many eyes before I found the right ones, but if you’re in the trenches now remember it only takes one yes. Querying is a numbers game and a luck game more than one of skill. You may read about those unicorn authors who send out 15 queries on their first book and get 7 offers, remember they are the outliers. Their books had the exceptional luck of speaking to the market at the right time. Many many wonderful books, telling excellent stories, having great literary merit will struggle in the trenches for reasons that have nothing to do with the book, but everything to do with timing, a contracting market, layoffs of editors and closing of imprints for particular genres.

It can be so hard to remember that rejections can come on your manuscript that have nothing to do with the quality of your work, but I think it’s one of the essential skills that this long journey to become published forced me to learn.

[cloud-somersault]

Shadowpeach - who fell first and who fell harder

depends on what situation! and i'll just do 'em all for ya.

past shadowpeach - Macaque fell first and hard. I like to think that he just...loved that Wukong paid attention to him. That Wukong always sought him out. He didn't feel alone or forgotten because the Monkey King always talked to him and invited him in to things and included him. Wukong always made sure he was included even if, at times, Macaque didn't want to be. And on the other side of that, Wukong was just fucking INTERESTED in Macaque, okay. With his cool shadow powers. He'd ask Macaque about all the stuff he could do. And then Macaque would share his opinion on things and would teach Wukong some stuff and Wukong would teach HIM stuff and they just hung out more...and Wukong got smitten that way. divorced shadowpeach - I like to think if they work their shit out, they go through a long period of just like.......getting on good terms with each other. So! some awkward conversations. Some hurtful conversations. some fucking up and finding out. but then settling into this new normal that has remnants of their past love but its evolved into something deeper and more...core to who they are as people. It's not surface level anymore; they've been through too much together and separately for that. At this point, they know each other. They know themselves. And they have a bit more maturity to approach things in a more level-headed manner instead of just lashing out. So it's a long process, but ultimately a good one. divorced shadowpeach where wukong didn't do a murder - this one's pretty easy since there's less conflict and everything can be solved with a quick conversation. so! after it's revealed that wukong didn't kill macaque and it was the result of some trick played by someone or an illusion or whatever, macaque apologizes awkwardly and wukong says some mean jokes just to get some frustration out...but then they warm up to each other. macaque would still be a little awkward; he's not sure how to act and has gotten used to being on his own. but wukong would do as he'd done before and include macaque in things. he's bit of an ass about it like "where is that shadow? mac, i know you're listening. you wanna join the class or just be a loner all day?" stuff like that. the monkie kids have like a barbecue and macaque is over in the corner brooding (not knowing how to join) and wukong would just go over there and strike up a conversation and hang out with macaque. wukong doing this means that MK comes over at some point to talk, then Mei follows, then Pigsy and Tang, and the group moves to be over where wukong is. and Macaque is included in that way. and macaque notices what wukong's doing and gets a little fluffy-hearted about it. small smiles, light laughs. he might even initiate some subtle touching, like nudging wukong's elbow or something. and wukong would return it, and they'd get comfortable enough that they'd start slinging arms around each other's necks, shoving, flicking noses, and they'd get more and more comfortable as they hang out more. and then kissing happens!

[mishyoona]

Since the devs and creative minds behind the FFX -Will- have claimed they wrote the audio drama ambiguous on purpose in order for us to fill in the gaps using our imagination, I'd like to ask what your desire or vision of FFX-3 is! :D

Whether it be in fanfiction or fan art, speculations or whimsical thoughts, I'd love to hear about it!

Hi, Danko Kaji! Brace yourself lol:

I genuinely believe that the future of Spira, unless it's in a distant one, should be left alone. I think X-2 wrapped up the start of the Eternal Calm nicely, and there is no need to push it further. Continuing from where X-2 left off is an example of beating a dead horse.

Also, from what I've seen, going back to Braska's journey is a popular X-3 concept among fans, but that would be the worst, imo. I don't see how it would introduce fresh elements to the story. Essentially, it would be a rehash of X, but with no surprises. I think we should all appreciate how we learned about that time through Auron's recollections (from his personal stories and the memories we witnessed in the ruins), and I fear that a full game focusing on it would diminish that impact. It's an unpopular opinion, but I truly hope that never comes to fruition.

I have two ideas, and one of them is fairly stupid, but I'm sharing. In fact, let's start with that one:

01. Auron in Dream Zanarkand. Tidus once said that fiends were a rarity in DZ, and that it was a big deal when one showed up. It'd be incredible if we got to discover that Auron was the one responsible for keeping them at bay, and was also the one slaying them once they reached the city (a boss, even, which would indeed be a "big deal"). Not necessarily as a hero either, but specifically driven by his promise to ensure Tidus' safety. It's evident that he kept up with his combat skills during his 10 years there, since he wasn't at all rusty when the time for battle came. In fact, he was prepared. The Japanese dialogue hinted that Auron periodically checked in on Tidus. It's interesting to imagine him being away dealing with fiends during those intervals. Perhaps he even had some form of affiliation with a small group of people who learned to fight and are committed to protecting DZ and uncovering some truths. This group could have uncovered something odd that helped them understand there could be more to DZ than meets the eye. They'd be low profile to avoid being dismissed as wacko. Then comes Auron, a sensible man with a strong head on his shoulders, and his arrival in their lives would provide a sense of companionship. Yet he never says he believes them or knows something. Maybe he sees himself in these people who are driven by what they believe, and he knows their worlds would be shattered by the truth.

Since Sin was known to destroy anything/anyone who got too close to DZ, it's plausible that remnants from another world (Spira) would wash up on its shores. Maybr strange technology and trinkets, or unfamiliar clothing. Ideally something more creative than that, lol. Their group backstory would be that their discoveries presented a pattern that each of then began to notice at some point, thus rendering them "touched" by Spira. It would provide an opportunity to see how someone from a fayth's dream or summoning can transform into something more once they've been touched by Spira or Sin. Remember what Bahamut's fayth said:

"Both you and your father have been touched by Sin. Sin, the one whom all Spira—the spiral—revolves. You two are more than just dreams now. Just a little more."

Vague enough to have fun with, if you ask me. Exploring Auron's time in DZ (especially the period between his shattered beliefs and the end of his mortal life) could be awesome. It would allow for insight as to why he aged. Did he manifest it on his own, and if so, was it gradual or immediate? There's a scene in FFX where Tidus (talking to Yuna) revisits a memory that took place while he was still a kid, shortly before his mother's death. Auron was shown to have already aged by then. So, maybe the stress, heartache, fear, and grief (the immense emotional burden) manifested through his appearance, making him look as old and worn as he felt on the inside.

I can't see any of this being translated into a full-fledged game, though. Maybe a smaller game where the "big bad" is actually Auron's inner turmoil and dealing with his new reality—similar to Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 6, lol. But those are my unrefined thoughts on that jumble of dumb.

[theshadowsingersraven]

Why Azriel Suddenly Seems More Like Lucien

HOFAS SPOILERS

Also, DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT THE SHIPS/ START UP SHIP ARGUMENTS. I JUST WANNA TALK ABOUT MY BOY. 

I've been seeing a lot of people talk about how Azriel’s behavior seems out of character/mimicking Lucien. And I don't really blame anyone for having these takes, truly! Azriel is very understated, and if you're not actively looking for it (as I suspect most people aren't, I didn't even notice these seeds until I started analyzing him to write him properly. Genuinely no shade to anyone who didn't notice what I did.) it's very easy to miss. 

First, let's look at how similar Lucien and Azriel actually are, even before HOFAS:

Lucien grew up in an abusive household where his father held some type of power within the community. His mother was abused, and his half-siblings treated him poorly. 

Lucien was able to escape his family, having to kill one of his brothers in the process, and found family ties to a friend in a position of power. Lucien actively plays a part in his Court. His position requires him to gather intel and was noted to have spy-like responsibilities. 

Lucien seems to not have a true “home”, especially after ACOFAS. He doesn't seem to “fit” or belong anywhere other than with the Band of Exiles. He's often “othered” or seen as an outcast. 

Azriel grew up in an abusive household where his father held some type of power within the community. His mother was abused, and his half-siblings and stepmother tortured him. 

Azriel was able to escape his family and was noted by Rhys to have done something to his brothers for revenge. He found family ties to a friend in a position of power. Azriel actively plays a part in his Court. His position requires him to gather intel, as he is the spymaster and also a torturer.

Azriel doesn't seem to “fit” or belong anywhere per his admission to Feyre in ACOMAF.

“I don’t really know where I fit in anymore,” I admitted, perhaps only because the wind was screeching around us and Rhys had already winnowed ahead to where Cassian’s dark form flew— beyond the wall. “I’ve been alive almost five and a half centuries, and I’m not sure of that, either,” Azriel said.

So while these are general character beats, they are also major ones. All of these aspects play a huge role in how both characters are being/will be developed. 

Now, the moment in ACOMAF when Azriel confesses to Feyre that he doesn’t know where he fits in, subtle as it is, is a huge character moment in my opinion. This is a pretty big admission from someone normally reserved/who doesn't let his feelings show. Rhys even mentions in his POV in ACOFAS that he and Cassian could spend hours trying to get Az to crack and tell them what he's thinking/feeling, and he doesn't. 

Why is this situation different?

Because Azriel is good at recognizing people's needs due to his empathy. 

He's willing to open up to people when he can see they need encouragement. He can lower those guards to help other people.

This is exactly what happened in the Truth-Teller scene with Elain, he parted with something he normally doesn't/something he finds comfort in having because she needed something that made her feel safe. (And if anyone understands how necessary it is to feel safe through not having that comfort, it’s Azriel.)

“It has never failed me once,” the shadowsinger said, the midday sun devoured by the dark blade. “Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.” He gently took her hand and pressed the hilt of the legendary blade into it. “It will serve you well.”

Additionally, this is the second instance in which Cassian volunteered to help Elain in some way, and either he was shot down or refused, and thus Azriel stepped in. 

In the first instance, Azriel had been internally debating when he said "I'm getting her back", per Feyre's observation of how his voice sounded. He knew it was risky, but it was also apparent that if Azriel didn't act or step in, then who would?

This aspect of his character was already hinted at earlier in ACOMAF by Feyre.

Azriel just shook his head. “I’ll go. The Prison sentries know me—what I am.” I wondered if the shadowsinger was usually the first to throw himself into danger.

This is then cemented by his decision to go into Hybern’s camp and rescue Elain. Cassian was shot down by Nesta. Rhys is a High Lord, he can't risk an infiltration mission like that. If Hybern captured him, they'd all be fucked without his power on the battlefield. Azriel is a shadowsinger, his skill set perfectly compliments stealthy rescue missions.

Saving people is a major part of Azriel’s character psychology. 

Why is that? 

Well, who saved Azriel from his father's cell in the basement? Who got him out?

No one.

Azriel was never rescued, he was released. Those are very different things, especially when his next living place was the brutal environment of an Illyrian war camp.

With his trauma and empathy, regardless of where you stand on ships, it makes sense he would risk his life to rescue someone. Especially someone vulnerable or in an environment they cannot escape on their own like he was as a child.

Furthermore, Azriel went with Mor to rescue the priestess’ at Sangravah. Azriel murdered every male that had touched Gwyn, and then covered her with his cloak after her brutal assault. He also knew not to touch her since she had just been violated by males, so Mor carried her out. 

Azriel saved Mor from dying when she was left at the Autumn Court border.

It’s not a coincidence that all of Azriel’s love interests, confirmed or highly suspected, are people he had a hand in rescuing. 

It’s also not a coincidence that the two females he’s confirmed to have an attraction to are both unwillingly tied to Beron’s sons. 

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if it’s later revealed that part of Azriel’s draw to Elain is founded on him trying to “redeem” his “failure to save Mor” from Eris. Lucien being Eris’ brother is enough for Azriel to unfairly believe them to be similar enough to warrant his disdain. He could very well unconsciously be trying to “save” Elain from Lucien as he incorrectly expects something similar to happen.

I hope that at some point, Azriel does have a moment where he realizes that he is unfair to Lucien and that they are actually quite similar and could get along very well. Because if there’s anyone who should know that just because you share blood with your half-brothers, it doesn’t mean you’re like them, it’s Azriel.  

And I hope that happens because, despite his disdain and unfair view of Lucien, Azriel is also generally shown to be thoughtful as well as empathetic.  

A faint smile bloomed upon Azriel’s mouth as he noticed Elain’s fingers whiteknuckled on that fork, but he kept silent…Elain cast pleading eyes on Rhys, then Azriel, such mortal fear coating her features, her scent. “We are raised this way. We hear stories of your kind crossing the wall to hurt us. Our own neighbor, Clare Beddor, was taken, her family murdered …”...Elain said, “It’s all very disorienting.” “I can imagine,” Azriel said. Cassian flashed him a glare. But Azriel’s attention was on my sister, a polite, bland smile on his face. Her shoulders loosened a bit. I wondered if Rhys’s spymaster often got his information through stone-cold manners as much as stealth and shadows.”

“I was still sore enough the next day that I had to send word to Cassian I wasn’t training with him. Or Azriel.  A mistake, perhaps, given that both of them showed up at the door to the town house within minutes, the former demanding what the hell was wrong with me, the latter bearing a tin of salve to help with the aches in my back. I thanked Azriel for the salve and told Cassian to mind his own business.” But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, “Sit. I’ll take care of it.” Rhys was frowning, Cassian and Mor were both grimacing, and Azriel … It was pity on his beautiful face. Pity and sorrow as he watched my sister. Azriel plucked up the small folded silver wand within and unfurled it. One end held a clip, the other a small glass sphere. “You can attach this to whatever book you’re reading, and the little ball of faelight will shine. So you don’t have to squint when you’re reading at night.” Nesta touched the glass ball, no bigger than her thumbnail, and faelight flickered within, casting a bright, easy glow upon her lap. She tapped it again and it turned off. And then she jumped to her feet and flung her arms around Azriel. The room went silent for a beat. But Azriel chuckled and squeezed her gently. Cassian smiled to see it— to see them. “Thank you,” Nesta said, quickly pulling away to marvel at the device. “It’s brilliant.” Azriel blushed and stepped back, shadows swirling.

He also has his sharp-tongued, witty moments as well.

“…when Azriel clarified, “Cassian also excels at pissing everyone off. Especially amongst our friends. So, as a friend of Rhysand … good luck.” “No word on Bryaxis, I take it.” I peered toward the marble beneath my boots, as if I could see all the way to the library beneath this mountain and the now-empty lower levels that had once been occupied. Az studied the floor as well. “Not a whisper. Or a scream, for that matter.” I chuckled. My brother had a sly, wicked sense of humor. Azriel straightened a sagging section of garland over the windowsill. “It’s almost like you two tried to make it as ugly as possible.” “Pick on someone your own size,” Cassian said to Amren, shoveling roast chicken into his mouth. “I’d feel bad for the mice,” Azriel muttered.

And he proves his worth to himself and others by what he can do for them. 

When Rhys was done, his spymaster said, “I’ll contact my sources in the Summer Court about where the half of the Book of Breathings is hidden. I can fly into the human world myself to figure out where they’re keeping their part of the Book before we ask them for it.” “No need,” Rhys said. “And I don’t trust this information, even with your sources, with anyone outside of this room. Save for Amren.” “They can be trusted,” Azriel said with quiet steel, his scarred hands clenching at his leather-cladsides. “We’re not taking risks where this is concerned,” Rhys merely said. He held Azriel’s stare, and I could almost hear the silent words Rhys added, It is no judgment or reflection on you, Az. Not at all. But Azriel yielded no tinge of emotion as he nodded, his hands unfurling.

So, for me, as someone who writes Azriel's POV and studied all these scenes before doing so, the things Azriel did/said in HOFAS seem in the realm of possibility/believability for his character to me.

However, I don’t think that means that we had a smooth transition into this version of Azriel though. I’ll compare the scene with Nesta and the Mask and my own writing in the hopes of illustrating what I mean (and yes of course I’m going to take an opportunity to plug my fic lol)

Don’t worry, it’s a platonic interaction. 

HOFAS:

“Cassian’s waiting for you, Nesta,” Azriel said—tone gentling. “Take off the Mask.” Nesta stayed silent, Ataraxia ready in her hand. One swipe, and Azriel would be dead. “He’s waiting for you at the House of Wind,” Azriel went on. “At home.” Another blink from Nesta. The silver fire banked a little. Like whoever Cassian was, and whatever the House of Wind was … they might be the only things capable of fighting the siren song of the Mask. “Gwyn and Emerie are waiting,” Azriel pushed. “And Feyre and Elain.” The silver flame flared at that. Then Azriel said, “Nyx is waiting, too.” The silver flame went out entirely. The Mask fell from Nesta’s face, clattering on the stone. Nesta swayed, but Azriel was there, catching her, bringing her to his chest, scarred hands stroking her hair. “Thank the Mother,” he breathed. “Thank the Mother.”

My fic: (ACOSAR)

Azriel hummed, taking it all in. His shadows flickered in response to the animated wave of Solara’s hands, appearing to listen intently. "She sounds remarkable," he said, his tone sincere. "She is," Solara confirmed, a soft smile touching her lips. “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Well, properly, at least. I wrote to her, letting her know I was leaving.” “She'll understand," Azriel reassured her quietly. "If she's anything like you say, I'm sure she won't hold it against you." "I know she'll understand," Solara agreed, deflating slightly. "But it's not really about that." Her normal vibrance flickered like a candle in a breeze, eyes turning downcast as she folded her arms across her chest… …Azriel took a step closer to her, his wings stretching slightly. The closest to Solara curled around her, bathing in the light; the veins visible through the membranous flesh. "Then what is it really about?" he pressed gently, coaxingly. His eyes bore into hers, pleading with her to let him help. …Solara could not return to Exandria.  "We'll find a way for you to see her again," Azriel said. As if of its own volition, his hand found her bicep. The light touch of his hand seemed to banish the tension from her almost instantly. She never shied from his touch despite the vile, warped skin of his hands…"...I promise."... …"I think... I think I'll be okay here." Solara said quietly, her gaze meeting his again... ..."I think you will thrive here," Azriel agreed. “Prythian may not be as wondrous as Exandria, but it is a place full of beauty. And I know one thing for certain; we will never leave you. We all have hundreds, if not thousands, of years ahead of us. You will never be forced to outlive those you care about ever again.”  With another reassuring squeeze of her arm, Azriel gently guided her forward as he strode towards the entrance to the manor.

I wanted to point this out mainly because in my writing, that’s after ten chapters of seeing their relationship develop. His reactions to Nesta and my OC are similar. And I wrote that in May of 2023, well before I read HOFAS.

I'm not putting it there as an example to say my writing is as good as SJM's (obviously), but more so saying it is a fair assessment of his character's potential growth and behavior further down the line. If I picked up on it from what she wrote thus far, before HOFAS, I think it's probably where she plans for him to go.

With Az and Nesta, while we know they get along and likely could become closer, we don’t see the build-up to this level of closeness in HOFAS. 

Unfortunately, it likely happened in those six months between ACOSF and HOFAS, and I don’t know if SJM plans to expand on that at all.

So, to sum everything up, essentially:

Do I think Azriel’s treatment of Nesta is in-character? Yes.

But do I think the execution is there for it to make sense that he's developed to this point? No.

I don't believe SJM is making him "mimic" Lucien because they're already similar in key aspects. Azriel does have tendencies to be caring yet smart-mouthed. I think SJM skipped a bunch of steps with Az’s development. Which makes me very sad, and I hope we do get to see it. 

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk!