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terfslying · 6 years

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How did you leave the radfem community?

Firstly I fell off the map in terms of interacting online, to be honest. Around the time my mental health was absolutely atrocious a few years back, I stopped following basically any source of news about the world. I unfollowed people who would go on about current issues because I was burned out. That culled pretty much all of the loud radfems from my followers list, for obvious reasons.

Then I went back to university and finished my degree part time. During that time we had the same-sex marriage referendum in Australia, which meant it was a big topic of public discussion, and as a member of my uni’s queer community club I was involved in first the demonstrations against the vote even happening (it was a shenanigan, nobody wanted that bullshit vote, not even gay people), and then in the protests to raise awareness and participation for a “yes” vote. I met several trans women through uni’s queer community at that time and realised that at least on a personal level, not each individual trans woman is a predator. There were a few I just didn’t interact with or get along with. There was one I dated for a while, then moved along.

Meanwhile, as I do all this, I am doing literally every unit I ever had to do in my degree about research at the same time (because yes, I deferred all of them to the last moment because my past self is a dickhead sometimes). So I’ve had special permission to simultaneously take the units on research skills, examining sources, writing scientific literature, doing literature reviews on scientific topics, etc. Some of those units were also breadth units (basically they just have to be something in a different area than your degree) which included these things in the context of feminism, social sciences, etc (I did one course on the complete history of criminology which was interesting but a terrible class, but had great discussions of criminalisation of minority groups, women’s behaviour, disabled people, etc.)

So as all this shit is bombarding me at the same time I come to the realisation that a) the things I formerly thought were convincing (ie. news reports of trans sex offenders) are more psychological trickery to persuade you to be biased, b) if those weren’t true, then what evidence was there that trans women were actually a risk?

So I looked. And I looked. And I looked and looked and looked some more. Back then I had my account with my university library so paywalls weren’t a problem, I just researched… a lot. And at first I was like, “what the fuck, there’s some very mixed opinions about this”. And then I started looking up the source of each article - who made them, who donated, etc etc. It turned out that the very negative articles tended to be made by right-wing biased sources.

So I started this blog. Made one post correcting someone. Lost interest, went back to uni stuff.

Around this same time The Trump happens. I got very, very, very very interested in fascism at this time because I have studied the rise of Nazism and saw some parallels. So I did a lot of reading on the characteristics of fascist arguments so I could be more informed and filter out the propaganda from the news.

I reconnected to social media more recently, since I’ve been homebound with disability for the most part for the last year. When I got disabled I started out in cripplepunk spaces, which has a lot of overlap with queer disabled spaces. So I started following LGBT supportive blogs and people. And stuff would pop up all the time - Fair Play For Women encouraging hate in the UK, LaTrobe University in Melbourne was targeted by TERFs and the razor-blade-poster scandal happened, Women’s Liberation Front working with Alliance Defending Freedom…

And after that point I wanted to start talking to TERFs again, from the other side. There’s a lot of people who are anti-terfs who don’t bother to engage with the exact same arguments over and over again, which I understand - but it can leave people thinking that there’s no evidence against these beliefs, which isn’t true. So hopefully I’ve been able to educate some people in that respect. But if I haven’t, well, at least it’s a hobby lol.

#tag for asks #what a ramble

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luciferismyhomeboy · 7 years

Text

On the Brink - Chapter 7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Pairings: Lucifer x You

Warnings: Mild swearing. A little bit of angst.

Author’s Note: I got a little carried away with this one. Special thanks to @dekahg for the idea for this chapter. Enjoy!

Tags: @krysta1kitkat @caffeine-nights@dekahg @capsofwinchesters @casteelle @tolieboy @xmaspumpkin @amyapathetic @littlepandadreamer @only-a-nerd @uruburock13 @teamfreewilllovesyou @supernatural-everyday @queen-of-the-lost-ones @jezzula @fangirl1855 @sympathyforluci @fromhellswithlove @youraveragespaceprincess @messengerofdark @imagesforfandoms @extreme-supernatural-lover @graysonatbest @kcam16201 @shadypeachrunaway @uzum4k1-uch1h4 @depravedandwickedchild @extreme-supernatural-lover @just-a-bit-evil @wayward-hell @wearealltalesintheend @nicowhereinhadesareyou @pineapplesbelongonpizza @imincastiels @stillnotginger2294 @weirdlyobsessedreader @saltyasshxe @fandom-planet-lover @cozyjaws @wait-what5 @cloudyaries

A week later, the big SUV rolled into a small Alaskan town just over the border. You were going stir crazy having been in the vehicle for 8 days now and wanted nothing more than to never see the inside of a car again. You jumped out before the wheels stopped turning and walked a few paces away. You studied the small, rundown motel you all were going to be staying at while you hunted the alpha werewolf. You had stayed in some shoddy places before, but you thought this really took the cake. You vaguely wondered if it was vacant and if you were going to be squatting there before you saw the one light on in the dingy office. It shined dully in the dark night.

Mick stepped up next to you and smiled. You smiled back at him. True to his word, Mick had been the perfect gentleman on your second date. And on your third and fourth one as well. You were genuinely having fun with the British man. He was a nice break from the hustle and bustle of everything else.

“Some help would be nice.” Dean’s gruff voice cut through the night.

You turned to see him and Ketch grabbing some bags out of the SUV’s trunk. Sam was trudging towards the office and Lucifer was just leaning against the vehicle, looking off into the distance. You sighed and went to help your brother.

The archangel hadn’t changed his mind at all in the week since he said he was done with you. He wouldn’t speak to you or even look in your direction. It was like you didn’t exist to him and it was starting to get under your skin. You hadn’t done anything wrong, but you knew that didn’t really matter. Angels were hard to figure out at the best of times, and Lucifer was especially complicated. If he wanted to be done with you, so be it. You had better things to do than worry about a moody archangel.

The research began as soon as all the bags were moved into the rooms. The whole group was gathered in the room you were sharing with Sam and Dean (they wouldn’t pay for you to have your own room - dicks), and everyone had their laptops out, or were looking through books.

You were sitting on your bed, a book opened on your lap while Mick reclined next to you with his laptop. Even so often while he was thinking, he would absent-mindedly rub your leg or your arm. You didn’t think he meant anything by it as he just naturally just seemed to be very touchy-feely, but it was driving you crazy, and not in a good way You had a thing about personal space and while you could technically be termed as “dating”, you still didn’t like it. Eventually, after one long moment where his hand had just rested on your leg before he began to type again, you hopped to your feet.

“I need some air,” You stated as four pairs of eyes looked up at you. You noticed Lucifer’s icy gaze was looking out the window, purposefully avoiding you, but you didn’t care. You had to get out of that room.

You stepped out into the chilly Alaskan night and closed the door tightly behind you. The parking lot was deserted except for the SUV and there was no one on the road. The tiny town all seemed to sleeping, which was appropriate considering it was about 2 in the morning. That’s when you realized you were finally alone. A smile broke out on your face. You hadn’t been alone in over a week and it felt so freeing.

Still grinning, you set off down the road, just reveling in the fact that you were finally alone. You walked about a mile down the road before turning off on a trailhead that would run a loop through the forest according to the map on a sign at the turnoff. The trail ran about 3 miles and was very clearly marked, so it was easy going. You figured you had gone about 2 miles down the trail when a chilly breeze began to blow. The forest was dark and silent, so there was no mistaking the voice that spoke out from behind you.

“Now what would a Winchester be doing here?”

You whirled around to see a tall woman standing about fifteen feet away, dressed in business casual attire. Her eyes flashed blue.

“Going for a walk, what’s it look like?” You asked, your tone lazy. “The real question is, what is an angel doing out here?”

She chuckled. “The name is Serus. And I’m hunting, much like you.”

“I very much doubt that you and I are hunting the same thing, Serus.” You said gruffly. “Why don’t you cut the bullshit and tell me what you want.”

She crossed her arms. “Lucifer.”

Your head cocked to the side. “Huh?”

“You heard me.” She scowled. “I want Lucifer.”

“What for?”

“He belongs in the Cage. My brethren and I are going to make sure he goes back there.”

“And what makes you think I know where he is?” You asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Please. We caught one of Crowley’s dogs. We know about the two of you.”

You shook your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know where Lucifer is. You’re barking up the wrong tree here.”

“So what happened after your brothers freed you then? They just let him go?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I didn’t ask, they didn’t tell.”

“Oh how militant of you.” She said, her eyes narrowing. “Too bad. I was planning on letting you go, but now I think I’ll take you hostage. Maybe the brothers Winchester will be willing to trade.”

You shrugged and pulled an angel blade out of your jacket pocket, where you always kept it. “You can try, Serus, but I don’t think it’ll go very well for you.”

She cocked an eyebrow, her own blade sliding out of her sleeve. “Or maybe I’ll just kill you instead.”

Serus took a step towards you and your grip tightened on your blade.

“Or,” A voice rang out. “We could all just get along.”

Serus whirled around and you could see Lucifer standing several feet behind her. The moonlight cut through the trees, giving his hair a silvery glow. The sight of him bathed in the glowing light took your breath away despite the circumstances. He was truly beautiful.

Serus didn’t waste any time. She leapt towards him swiftly and silently, her lips peeled back in a terrible sneer. Lucifer was quicker though, despite not having access to his powers. A second later, he was in between you and Serus, facing the latter.

“Let’s talk about this, Serus.” He said calmly.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” She snarled. “You’re going back where you belong, Deceiver.”

“Nope. I’m not. But I’m giving you the chance to walk away. I suggest you take it.”

She flung herself at him again, her blade flying through the air. Lucifer went to sidestep her again, but this time she was expecting it and changed her angle of attack. You moved without conscious thought, stepping quickly in front of the archangel and shoving him backwards. You brought up your blade in an underhand arc, plunging the tip into her ribcage. At the same time, her blade plunged downwards right under your left shoulder. You screamed as the blade went all the way through and ripped out the other side.

Serus was screaming too, blue light pouring from every orifice as she died. Her vessel dropped to the ground and you dimly recognized the dark shadow of wings spreading out from her back across the ground.

Bitch, you thought.

Your knees buckled and you sank to the ground. The angel blade was burning in your shoulder and you knew that if it had gone any lower, you would have been dead immediately. You grasped the handle protruding from your body, steeled yourself, and yanked. The blade was firmly lodged and didn’t budge, but you almost immediately passed out from the pain. You fell onto your side, feeling your strength starting to fade. You had felt this before, many times, in Crowley’s dungeon. You would be blacking out any second now.

“Y/N!” You heard a frantic cry, but you were fading fast. Your vision began to darken and the last thing you saw before slipping into unconsciousness was a pair of icy blue eyes looking down at you with all the fear in the world.

The first thing you noticed was that your mouth felt like cotton. The second thing was that your head was pounding.

“Water,” You croaked.

You felt a cup being held up to your lips a second later and you drank the cool liquid greedily. Once you had quenched your thirst, you opened your eyes.

You were in a hospital, hooked up to at least a billion different machines. Sam, who had given you the water, sat by your side. The lines in his face were deep and you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. Dean stood leaning against the wall a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked even worse than Sam.

You smiled at the two of them. “Hey.”

Dean scowled. “What the hell were you doing in the middle of the damn woods, Y/N?”

Sam scowled at him, but you answered.

“Just taking a walk, Dean.” Your voice was raspy, but strong. “That’s all.”

He clenched his jaw and stalked out of the room angrily. Sam watched him go, then looked back at you.

“He’ll be okay.” He said.

“I know.” You gave him a small smile. “He’s just angry because he couldn’t help me.”

Sam took a deep breath. “That, and we just got you back, Y/N. I know we haven’t talked about it much, but we were both really worried about you for that year. We had no idea where you were, we thought you had just run off somewhere to live a normal life. You talked about it sometimes and we thought that’s what had happened. But…then we found out you had been tortured the whole time. And we hadn’t been looking for you. I know you’re going to say that it’s not our fault, but it’s still a weight we carry around every day. You’re our little sister. We’re supposed to protect you and we’ve failed twice now.”

“Sam. I’m a Hunter. Torture and angel blades in the shoulder are occupational hazards that I’ve accepted.”

He gave a small nod. “That doesn’t mean we’ve accepted them for you, Y/N.”

You pushed the button on your bed so that you were sitting up. “You don’t have to,” You said kindly. “It’s my life, you big bozo.”

Sam smiled and some of the cloud over his eyes seemed to dissipate. “I better go check on Dean.”

You watched as he left, then laid your head back on your pillow and closed your eyes. You weren’t sure how long you were out before the change in temperature woke you. The room was suddenly ice cold. You shivered and pulled the flimsy hospital blanket up to your chin. You opened your eyes a crack and saw Lucifer’s form sitting next to you in the chair that Sam had vacated.

“It’s a little cold in here,” You said, your teeth chattering.

He said nothing, but the room heated up quickly. You opened your eyes and looked at him. He sat there hunched over, his hooded gaze on you. It was a little unnerving.

“Um…hi.” You said. He still said nothing, merely stared at you. “Staring is rude, you know.”

His gaze finally dropped and he took a deep breath. He whispered something.

“What?” You asked.

“An inch.” He said, raising his voice. “An inch from your heart. That’s how close the blade was.”

“Ah, well, guess I can say it literally missed it by an inch.” You quipped, trying to hide how much that information shook you.

His gaze snapped back up to you. “You’re making jokes?” He asked in a low voice.

You lifted your good shoulder in a half shrug. “What else can I do?”

“How about not leap in front of a blade that was meant for me?” He shouted, startling you.

“You would rather I let you die?” You asked incredulously. “Are you serious?”

“I had a plan!” He said, leaping to his feet.

“Did your plan include getting stabbed to death with an angel blade?” You shot back angrily. “Because that’s what was going to happen!”

He glared at you, breathing heavily, his hands on his hips. “So you getting stabbed instead was better?”

“Uh, yeah!” You said pointedly. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not dead!”

“But you could have been,” He said, clearly frustrated. “One inch lower-”

“But I’m not.” You said firmly, interrupting him. “And neither are you. That’s a win in my book.”

He clenched his jaw, but sat back down in the chair. All the fight seemed to go out of him in an instant. He leaned against the bed, his arm and hand resting lightly on the mattress.

You studied him for a moment before asking the question you really wanted to know the answer to. “So what were you doing out there? Were you following me?”

“I was just out for a walk.” He said, not looking at you.

“You stalker.” You said, a little playfully. “You think I can’t handle myself?”

He looked at you and cocked an eyebrow. “Apparently not.”

“Pfft I had her handled. Piece of cake. Until you showed up.”

“You were outside alone at night in an area where the alpha werewolf is running around murdering people. You really think I’d let you wander off alone?”

“Aha! So you were following me!”

He sighed. “You’re impossible.”

You merely smiled. You were beginning to feel sleepy again. “I knew you still cared about me.”

He looked startled. “Who said that?”

You rolled your eyes. “Please.”

He was silent a moment and you could feel sleep dragging you ever closer.

“You’re right.” He said lowly. “I do still care.”

A funny warmth began to spread through your body, making you giddy and content all at the same time. You didn’t think it had to do with the pain meds they were giving you.

“It’s okay,” You said, peaking at him from the corner of your eye. You couldn’t open them fully anymore. “I still care about you too.”

You moved your hand over to where his was resting and squeezed it lightly. He looked up at you in surprise. You thought you could see something else there too, something that looked like…hope? But that could have been the meds. Either way, you felt his cool hand turn and clasp yours tightly, as if he were afraid you would float away. And in a way, you were floating.

“Don’t leave me again,” You mumbled, hardly aware of what you were saying.

His other hand wrapped around yours and you felt his cool lips touch your fingers. You heard him whisper, “Never.”

And the blackness took you once more.

The next time you opened your eyes, your mind felt clearer. You knew the doctors were beginning to cut back on the meds. Hopefully you would be discharged soon.

Mick sat next to your bed, reading a lore book.

“You shouldn’t really be reading that in public.” You said.

He looked up at you and grinned. “You’re awake.”

“How astute of you.” You said, grinning back.

“Well, darling, my astuteness is what I’m known for.” He stood and leaned over to kiss you. He straightened afterwards and looked down at you. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m a hunter, Mick. This sort of thing comes with the territory.”

He nodded, but still looked a little forlorn.

You smiled up at him. “Think about this way. Now I have to stay back at the motel HQ with you instead of going after the alpha.”

He gave you a small smile. “I’d rather you were whole again, dear.”

“And I will be.” You said. “It’ll just take some time. I’ve had worse than this, believe me.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. Now, when am I being discharged?”

“Doctor said today. If you were feeling up to it.”

“Thank goodness.” You said. “I am more than feeling up to it. Is everyone else back at the motel?”

He nodded, then looked away. You knew something was bothering him.

“Out with it.” You said. “Spill it, Mick.”

He looked at you and sighed. “It’s mad.”

“Just ask.”

He sat back down and looked at you with apprehension. His voice was soft when he spoke. “Why were you and Lucifer out there alone?”

“We weren’t. Well, I mean, we were, but I thought I was alone.”

“So you didn’t plan it then?” You could see he wasn’t being accusatory. You could also see that he was afraid of the answer.

“No,” You said. “I didn’t plan alone time with Lucifer. I went for a walk and he followed me. That’s all.”

Mick gave a small nod. “Okay. Sure, okay.”

You cocked your head, curious. “Why would you think we had planned it?”

“I’m not sure.” He said, shrugging. “It just has seemed to me that you two have some sort of…connection, I suppose, and I was worried about it.”

Maybe he should be worried about it, a small voice inside your head said.

“I’m not going to deny that there’s a connection between us,” You said kindly, ignoring the stupid voice. “We shared the same cell for months. But that’s all it is. Mick, I’m dating you. No one else.”

He didn’t look completely convinced though and you couldn’t blame him. There was something between you and the archangel that you couldn’t identify. The more you wanted to pull away from him, the more you were pushed back towards him. And apparently it was the same for him.

You were discharged from the hospital, your arm in a sling to keep you from moving it, and Mick drove you back to the motel. You walked in to your room to find your brothers, Ketch, and Lucifer all sprawled out around the room. Ketch was sleeping on the couch while your brothers were sleeping on one of the beds. Lucifer was reclined lazily on the other bed and he cracked an eye as you walked in.

“About time.” He said dryly.

“Sorry, the doctors were really busy today,” You said sarcastically. “Something about having other patients.”

His mouth quirked up slightly in the corner and you knew he was happy you were back. You walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. Lucifer quickly moved over so that there was more room on the blanket and you leaned back against the pillows gratefully. It was the same as before, in the cell. The cooler air around the archangel seemed to soothe your throbbing shoulder.

“Ahhhh,” You breathed, closing your eyes.

“Can I get you anything, love?” Mick asked. You opened your eyes to see Mick eyeing Lucifer. But the archangel’s gaze was on you.

“No, I’m fine. I just need to rest a bit more.”

“Alright.” Mick sat at the small table in the corner of the room. Its surface was littered with lore books and newspaper clippings. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

You snuggled down further into the bed and felt the temperature around Lucifer drop a few more degrees. The throbbing in your shoulder subsided even more and you sighed in relief.

“I’ll be right here too,” Lucifer said lowly, so that only you could hear.

You smiled and drifted off to sleep.

#lucifer #supernatural lucifer #lucifer spn #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer fic #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural family #lucifer x you #lucifer x reader #supernatural lucifer x reader #supernatural lucifer x you

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ladyakahiko · 8 years

Text

Choking on Nostalgia

It’s 2017, officially ten years after my high school graduation. So of course, people are on Facebook reminiscing and planning our reunion. I posted a few pictures and a lighthearted comment about how people used to throw sandwiches at our group of friends. Nothing to be angry about, every high school has its misfits and we were certainly quite vocal about how much we didn’t fit in. We would play Red Rover in the hallways and refuse to let people through our chain of people. We jousted with crutches when our friend had surgery. We would randomly institute pirate days wherein we all showed up to school in various garb. We had fun, and we enjoyed being the misfits. It wasn’t always easy, but we had each other.

I guess my “offhanded comment” about the sandwiches made some people feel uncomfortable though, because I got a Facebook message from J.M. asking me who threw it, because nobody he asked could remember this incident. I don’t remember exactly who it was myself, but starting a witch hunt wasn’t my intention with that at all. I told him not to sweat it, this happened a long time ago. There are other instances I remember quite clearly compared to the sandwiches. Am I going to mention those to anyone? Nah. I’m not looking for vengeance, I’m not looking to shame people for being shit lords all those years ago (because god knows I did my share of shitty things in the past too). I just wanted to acknowledge that those things happened.

But for my own peace of mind, I want to go ahead and air some of the instances I remember most, the ones that have stuck with me. When I remember these things, I think about how horrible I felt at the time, but also how much I grew from dealing with that adversity. I suppose I should thank the people who did these things!

Anyway, without further adieu, here’s my list. The names are only initials, because as I’ve said I don’t want to start any witch hunts. If anyone from my graduating class happens upon this, I’m sure they could figure out who is who, but I ask them not to do that. This is for my own cleansing and healing purposes, so I don’t bottle this shit up for another ten years...

* I remember in 4th grade when J.H. said my teeth looked like banana peels.

* J.H. also said that he refused to go to Michigan State University in the future if someone like me would also be there. Imagine my surprise fifteen years later when we were in the same Nonverbal Communication class at WMU...

* I remember all the time when C.P. would snap my bra in 7th grade gym class and then run away with an evil looking grin on her face.

* I remember all the times J.D. would slam my locker shut in 7th grade, right as I would open it each morning.

* I remember our About Me collage projects in 5th grade, when I gave some Backstreet Boys pictures I found to H.A., B.K., and A.R. I was trying to be nice, but they looked at the photos as if they were diseased.

* This same diseased look happened in 6th grade when I tried to help T.A. with her wax museum project and let her borrow my book on Cleopatra.

* I remember walking home from the bus stop every day in middle school and having to watch behind me or walk extra fast so that R.S. wouldn’t come up behind me and steal pads or tampons out of my bag, then run up and down the street screaming about how disgusting they were.

* I remember J.M. and his band of idiots making fun of Andrea about liking Harry Potter, and how I stood up to them and gained an amazing friend <3

* I remember when T.S. and his friends wrote me a fake letter claiming that C.H. wanted to date me in 7th grade. They told all the popular kids so the next day the girls came over to my lunch table and just started laughing at me. For weeks T.S. and C.H. would get off the bus and scream “I love you Laura!’ while smirking and laughing their way into C.H.’s house.

* I remember at Senior Prom when all the popular girls were in the bathroom drunk, and they tried to give me a hard time because I happened to have the same dress as T.W. Too bad they were too sloshed to get out coherent sentences...

* I remember the first day of AP English 11, when I didn’t know what Ms. Pittman was talking about with “6+1″ in writing assignments. I went to Farmington for my freshman year, and when we were taught the same concept we just called it “the writer’s method.” The whole class laughed at me and assumed I was stupid. I transferred out of the class because I was too embarrassed and didn’t want to fight an uphill battle with everyone, because even the teacher assumed I was stupid.

* I remember wearing shorts in 6th grade gym class and T.S. made up a jingle that went “who wears short shorts? You wear GAY shorts!”

* I remember all the eyes on me when I couldn’t run for the full 20 minutes in 9th grade gym class--I only made it up to 7 at the longest. I didn’t know at the time that I had asthma...

* I remember the day that my pants ripped and I didn’t know about it. All the popular girls in my 7th grade drama class were laughing, I thought they were laughing at something the guys were doing, so I joined in too. Finally one of the nicer girls told me that my pants were ripped, and I was mortified.

* I remember all the times on the elementary school playground when guys like J.M. and T.S. and C.H. would come in extra close every time I was at the plate to play kickball. And I remember how good it felt when I sailed one deep into the outfield.

* I remember having bike races in my driveway with C.H. and his brothers and other neighborhood boys. The one time I beat all of them, they kept searching for excuses to make my victory illegitimate.

* I remember in 3rd grade when N.N. stole my purple ring but lied about it in such a way that I ended up getting into trouble. She tattled on me about other false things many other times as well.

* I remember when J.D., E.E., and other girls made fun of my good friend Josh in 3rd grade and gave me the ultimatum--shun him and be accepted into the cool kids, or continue being his friend and face being an outcast. Of course I chose the latter, because I wasn’t an asshole...

* I remember trying to learn how to play oboe in 5th grade and N.N. would always shoot dirty looks at me when my instrument squeaked. Needless to say, my study of that instrument didn’t last very long, and I switched to violin in 7th grade.

* I remember auditions for The Music Man in 8th grade and I was so nervous during the vocal audition that my voice sounded terrible. It didn’t help that R.S. was there to get people to start smirking and giggling at my performance.

* I remember in 7th grade Social Studies class, when we had a daily writing prompt. One day we talked about Maya Angelou’s poem: “hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” I shared my thoughts on the poem, saying “I think it means that life really doesn’t have a point if you lose sight of your dreams. There’s nothing to strive for.” After this M.C. chimed in and twisted my words, saying “oh so you’re saying if I don’t have a dream then I should just kill myself.” I tried to defend myself, but when the teacher took his side in the debate I just gave up.

* I remember writing a poem for 7th grade English class that my teacher loved so much, she read to ALL of her classes. Word spread around the school that she was doing this and I got branded a teacher’s pet. By the time I got to her class for the last period of the day, I was dreading listening to her read it.

* I was REALLY GOOD in 8th grade history class, and me and two other girls would answer almost every extra credit question that our teacher asked. One question was particularly difficult and our teacher said we could go home and research it for 60 extra credit points. It was to find the name of the man that the film “The Patriot” with Mel Gibson was based on. I had seen the movie but didn’t remember, so I skimmed through our textbook, found the name that I thought was correct, raised my hand and shared it with the teacher. I was correct of course, and everybody else was FURIOUS with me. Oops?

* In 2nd grade I wore a shirt with a built-in vest thing on it and G.M. thought it looked like a bra, so for weeks his nickname for me was “wonder bra.”

* I don’t remember which grade it started in but for a long time in elementary school people would mispronounce my last name and sing the “Cruella DeVille” song from 101 Dalmatians but with my name in it instead.

* One day I wore a matching sweatsuit to school in 5th grade (I had absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever at the time and wore whatever the fuck was on hand) and E.E. asked in gym class why I never wore cool clothes. She then laughed and ran away.

* In the Pokemon card craze in 4th grade all the guys would purposely try to trade cards with me because they thought I was dumber and would therefore agree to shittier trades.

* One of the most ridiculous things I was bullied for... in 7th grade Social Studies we did and art project where we made tribal African masks out of empty plastic milk jugs. The smell of sour milk made the classroom stink as our teacher cut them for us, so I brought in an empty orange juice jug instead. PEOPLE BULLIED ME BECAUSE I WANTED THE CLASSROOM TO SMELL NICE.

There’s more I’m probably forgetting, or I’ve just blocked out of my mind. The moral of the story though? People suck, but the bullshit makes us stronger <3

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