Tumgik
#look I know it’s ridiculous but it’s hilarious
ponderingmoonlight · 3 days
Note
Hello!! I hope you’re doing amazing!!! I really like your megumi works, so id like to request a fic where him and the reader have a very under cover secret relationship and yuji,nobara and gojo try to figure out why fushiguros been acting so weird. I’d love to see it! And more megumi works 🙏🏽. It’s just a request it’s totally okay if you don’t want to!! Hope you have an amazing week!! 💗💗
Okay, I probably never laughed this much while writing a fic lmao, this right here is ridiculous y'all
Keeping your relationship with Megumi a secret until you can't anymore
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Pairing: Megumi x fem!reader; pure comedy friendship with Nobara and Yuji lol
Word Count: 3k
Synopsis: Megumi Fushiguro’s secret relationship with you has been going smoothly—until his friends start noticing his odd behavior. Yuji and Nobara grow suspicious, launching a hilariously relentless mission to uncover what he’s hiding, while Gojo sits back, amused by the chaos. Will the two of you finally confess?
Warnings: y'all, I almost died writing this hilarious piece of work lmao, I never praise my own work but that bonus has me rolling, if you're looking for a bandage for your broken heart there it is, fluff fluff fluff
Please let me know what you think! If this does well, I might write some more about the chaotic trio lol
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You never thought keeping a secret would be this much fun.
Your relationship with Megumi started quietly, just like most things with him. There was no grand confession, no dramatic kiss in the rain. It was slow, understated, like the way shadows stretch out under the setting sun. You had been drawn into his orbit naturally, like you’d been waiting for it to happen all along.
Still, it wasn’t exactly planned. One moment you were sitting next to each other in silence, and the next you were sitting a little too close. Your fingers brushed. His eyes lingered. The air between you became charged with unspoken things, and soon enough, stolen moments were the only thing keeping you sane. The decision to keep it quiet came easily: neither of you had any desire to deal with the chaos that would break out if anyone found out. And besides, it was kind of thrilling.
But now it’s starting to get tricky.
It’s a normal Wednesday when the subtle shift in the atmosphere begins. Megumi is acting just a little too normal - stiffer, as if he’s hyper-aware of everything. He’s not good at this, at pretending everything is fine when there’s something simmering underneath. And unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for his odd behavior to catch some unwanted attention.
“Hey, Megumi,” Yuji calls from across the room, his eyes squinting suspiciously.
“You’re acting weird. Are you okay?”
Megumi doesn’t even flinch, though his eyes are literally glued to the ground.
“I’m fine.”
That’s it. Flat, simple, closed. He’s good at short answers. It should be enough. It’s not.
Yuji leans over the back of the couch, brow furrowed in confusion.
“No, you’re definitely acting off. You haven’t been sarcastic all morning. And usually by now, you’ve threatened to hit me at least twice.”
Megumi sighs, fingers twitching in his lap, the only outward sign of his discomfort.
“I’m fine, Yuji. Maybe you’re just imagining things.”
Yuji is definitely not convinced. He glances at Nobara, who’s lounging nearby with her arms crossed, already suspicious. She had been eyeing Megumi the second he walked in, catching onto his strange energy faster than Yuji had.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed it too,” she adds, voice sharp.
“Something’s up. You’ve been... I don’t know, distracted?”
“Seriously, I’m—” Megumi starts, but Nobara cuts him off, grinning.
“You’re not hiding anything from us, are you, Fushiguro?” Her eyes gleam with mischief, and you can tell she’s just playing around.
For now.
“Oh, I think I know it!”, Yuji suddenly announces with his arms stretched in the air.
“Do you really, idiot?”, Nobara remarks.
You almost lose your cool, cold sweat dripping down your neck while waiting for Yuji’s next words. He didn’t catch it, did he? Not when you’ve been carefully avoiding being too close to Megumi while they’re around since you first joined Jujutsu High. He simply can’t know it-
Megumi’s eyes flick to you, a barely noticeable glance paired with his reddened cheeks, but it’s enough. Too much. Your heart skips in your chest, and you quickly look away, hoping no one else caught it. But then-
“Oh.” Yuji’s eyes widen in realization, a slow grin spreading across his face.
“Oh, I get it now.”
Megumi’s spine visibly stiffens.
“No, you don’t.”
But it’s too late. Yuji has already decided he’s figured it out.
“You’ve got a crush on someone, don’t you?” Yuji practically shouts, leaning forward in his seat with excitement.
“That’s why you’ve been all weird lately!”
Nobara sits up, clearly intrigued by this new development. “Wait, what? Megumi has a crush?”
“I do not,” Megumi says, but he’s starting to lose his calm now.
You can tell by the way his hand runs through his hair a little too harshly, as if he’s trying to ground himself.
You bite back a smile. Megumi can be as composed as he wants, but when it comes to things like this, he’s terrible at hiding it.
“You’re totally lying,” Nobara declares, standing up and crossing the room to get a better look at him.
“Who is it? Do we know them?”
Megumi groans, pressing his fingers to his temples as if he’s already getting a headache. You’re trying hard not to laugh because if you do, they’ll turn their attention to you. You’ve been careful this whole time to stay out of the line of fire, just a silent observer to this chaos.
But you know it’s only a matter of time.
“I’m not lying,” Megumi grumbles, clearly regretting every decision that led him to this point. “There’s no one.”
It’s almost convincing. Almost.
Yuji leans back, a teasing glint in his eyes.
“Nah, you’re definitely lying. You’re terrible at it. You get all tense, like right now.”
“I’m always tense,” Megumi shoots back.
“True,” Nobara agrees,
“but this is different. You’re acting sketchy.”
Megumi shoots her a flat look, but Nobara only smirks back. She’s having way too much fun with this.
“Is it the one we’ve met at that pizza place yesterday, the one with a big ass and those nice hair?”, Yuji shouts into the conversation.
“The girl from yesterday?”, you repeat before you can stop yourself, arms crossing in front of your tightening chest.
“You guys are gross.”
Megumi’s gaze meets yours, panic shimmering underneath the surface while he fumbles with his own hands.
“What? No! It’s not that one!”
“Oh, not that one, huh? Who is it, then?”
“Fine,” Megumi says, standing abruptly.
“I’m going for a walk.”
Before they can say another word, he stalks out of the room, leaving you alone with Yuji and Nobara. You let out a quiet breath of relief, grateful they didn’t notice you.
Yuji turns to Nobara, eyes wide.
“This is huge. Megumi’s got a crush.”
Nobara hums thoughtfully, rubbing her chin.
“He’s never shown any interest in anyone before. It must be serious.”
“I wonder who it is,” Yuji muses, glancing around the room as if expecting the answer to jump out at him.
Your pulse quickens. If you stay here any longer, you’re going to blow your cover.
“I’m gonna grab some water,” you announce quickly, standing up.
You manage to make it halfway to the kitchen before Nobara’s voice calls after you, filled with sudden realization.
“Wait a minute. You were with him all morning, weren’t you?”
You freeze, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Weren’t you two on a mission yesterday?” Yuji adds, piecing it together far too quickly for your liking.
“And last weekend, too?”
Panic rises in your throat, but you manage to keep your expression neutral when you turn back to face them.
“We’ve just been on a few missions together. That’s all” you say, voice steady.
Nobara narrows her eyes, scrutinizing you.
“Uh-huh. And you didn’t notice him acting weird?”
“Not really. Maybe he’s just worn-out” you lie, doing your best to stay calm.
Yuji tilts his head, still unconvinced but willing to drop it for now.
“Yeah, maybe.”
But Nobara isn’t so easily swayed.
“You sure? Because you’re looking a little-”
“Nobara,” you interrupt,
“you’re overthinking it.”
For a moment, there’s silence. Then, with a final hum of suspicion, she shrugs and lets it go.
But just as you think you’re in the clear, a new voice cuts through the tension.
“Well, well, what do we have here?”
Gojo saunters in, sunglasses perched lazily on his nose, a knowing smirk already playing on his lips. He must have been eavesdropping because he’s grinning like he’s just hit the jackpot.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to figure out what’s up with Megumi,” he notes, voice dripping with amusement.
“That kid’s an enigma even to himself.”
Yuji perks up at the sight of Gojo, excited to rope someone else into their investigation.
“We think he’s got a crush.”
Gojo pauses, grin widening.
 “Oh, is that so?”
You stand frozen in place as Gojo’s eyes slowly slide over to you, lingering for a beat too long. He knows. You don’t know how he knows, but he knows. He’s always been good at reading between the lines, picking up on things that most people miss. Megumi that traitor, did he really leave you all alone with these two and now even Gojo?
His smirk deepens.
“Well, well, well,” he drawls, leaning casually against the wall, clearly enjoying this far too much.
“I wonder who it could be.”
You’re going to kill Megumi. You’re both dead. This is it. The end of your secret.
But before Gojo can say anything else, Megumi walks back into the room, his expression darkening as he notices Gojo’s presence.
“What are you doing here?” Megumi asks, his voice flat.
“Oh, just catching up with the kids. They were telling me about your little crush” Gojo replies innocently.
Megumi’s eyes dart between you, Yuji, Nobara, and Gojo, clearly calculating his next move.
“There’s no crush,” he replies, exasperation creeping into his voice again.
“Yuji’s just being an idiot.”
“Hey!” Yuji protests, but Megumi ignores him.
Gojo chuckles, pushing off the wall with an exaggerated stretch.
“Well, I think I’ll let you all handle this. Good luck with the investigation.”
He winks in your direction before sauntering out of the room, leaving you tense and trying to avoid Megumi’s gaze.
Yuji and Nobara are still watching him, and you can tell they’re not going to let this go anytime soon.
“So,” Nobara says, crossing her arms. “Are you going to tell us who it is, or are we going to have to follow you around until we figure it out?”
Megumi pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly fed up. “There’s no one.”
“You’re such a bad liar,” Yuji mutters, shaking his head.
Megumi’s about to respond, but then his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out, glances at the screen, and his expression softens for just a split second before he tucks it away again.
You know who it is. He knows you know.
You’re barely holding back your laughter at this point, trying to keep a straight face. You can feel the heat rising to your cheeks, and you have to look away before anyone else notices.
But Megumi, in his ever-stubborn way, is still trying to salvage this mess.
“I’m going for another walk,” he announces abruptly, clearly done with this interrogation.
“Uh-huh,” Nobara calls after him, grinning like a cat who just caught a mouse.
“Sure, go clear your head, lover boy.”
You can’t help but chuckle quietly as Megumi shoots you a helpless look before heading out the door.
As soon as he’s gone, Yuji leans over to Nobara, whispering loudly.
“Do you think he’s texting his crush?”
Nobara grins, leaning back in her chair.
“Definitely.”
You bite your lip, doing your best to keep your composure while peeking at your phone.
Sorry for the mess. Meet me later in my dorm?
This is going to get much harder to hide.
Later that night, when you and Megumi finally have a moment to yourselves at his dorm, he sighs heavily, dropping down onto the couch beside you. He looks exhausted, and not just from the missions. The day’s events have clearly taken their toll.
“This is getting ridiculous,” he mutters, rubbing his temples.
You smile softly, leaning into his side.
“It’s kind of your fault, you know.”
Megumi groans.
“I know.”
There’s a moment of silence as you both sit there, the weight of your secret relationship pressing down on you. But it’s not a bad weight. It’s more like a blanket, warm and comforting, something shared between the two of you. Something that’s just yours.
Still, you can’t help but tease him.
“You’re really bad at lying.”
Megumi turns his head to look at you, a small, exasperated smile pulling at his lips.
“Shut up.”
You laugh quietly, resting your head on his shoulder, feeling the tension melt away as his hand finds yours, fingers intertwining. For now, it’s just the two of you, and that’s all that matters.
“Maybe we should tell them,” you suggest softly, half-joking.
Megumi’s body stiffens for a second, but then he relaxes, a soft hum escaping his throat.
“Maybe,” he murmurs, voice low.
“But not yet.”
You smile, content with the secrecy for now. It’s your little world, and as chaotic as it is, it’s yours to navigate together.
And for now, that’s enough.
Bonus:
The decision to finally tell them wasn’t exactly well-planned. In fact, it wasn’t planned at all.
It happened after another long day of training. Yuji had been particularly insufferable, constantly pestering Megumi about his “mystery crush,” while Nobara was fuming over how Megumi wouldn’t let her in on the secret.
You and Megumi exchanged looks all day, the unspoken question hanging between you both: Should we just tell them?
By the time the sun set and everyone was lounging in the common area, the atmosphere was thick with anticipation. Nobara was pacing the room, practically radiating with frustration, while Yuji sat on the edge of the couch, watching Megumi like a hawk.
You were sitting next to Megumi, trying not to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. You hadn’t expected the pressure to mount like this. They’d been relentless for days now.
“Okay, I’m done!”
Nobara throws her hands in the air, eyes narrowing at Megumi.
“I can’t take it anymore! You have to tell us. Who is it?”
Yuji nods rapidly, his eyes wide and pleading.
“Please, man, just tell us! The suspense is killing me.”
Megumi lets out a long, exasperated sigh. He’s been handling this for a week now, and it’s clearly taken its toll. He shoots you a quick, sideways glance, silently asking for your input.
You shrug with a small smile, mouthing.
“Your call.”
With another sigh, Megumi straightens up and clears his throat.
“Fine,” he says, his voice firm.
“I’ll tell you.”
Both Nobara and Yuji freeze, their eyes going wide with excitement.
“Finally!” Nobara yells, nearly vibrating with impatience.
“Okay, okay. Who is it? Is it someone we know?” Yuji questions, leaning in closer.
Megumi looks at you again, and you give him a reassuring nod.
Then, with a small smirk tugging at his lips, Megumi casually slips his hand into yours, right there in front of them.
At first, there’s silence. Complete, deafening silence.
Yuji’s mouth falls open, eyes flicking between your joined hands and your faces, his brain clearly short-circuiting.
Nobara, on the other hand, just stares. Blinks. Then her hands slowly rise to cover her mouth, her eyes growing impossibly wide.
“Wait—” Yuji finally speaks, voice squeaking a little.
“YOU—YOU AND—”
Megumi sighs.
“Yeah. Me and (y/n). We’ve been dating for a while now.”
That’s when all hell breaks loose.
“WHAT?!” Yuji practically screams, jumping up from the couch and pointing at your intertwined hands like they’re some sort of mythical creature.
“NO WAY! This whole time? You guys were dating this whole time?!”
Nobara just starts shrieking incoherently. It’s a mix of disbelief and outrage, her voice a high-pitched wail as she dramatically collapses onto the couch like she’s been personally betrayed.
“YOU HID THIS FROM US?!” she yells, clutching a pillow like it’s the only thing keeping her grounded.
“HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!”
You burst out laughing, unable to keep it in any longer. Megumi pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly regretting every choice that led to this moment.
Yuji is pacing now, running his hands through his hair, still trying to process everything.
“How did I not see it? I mean, I thought you had a crush, but I didn’t think it was… this!” he gestures wildly between the two of you, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Oh my God!” Nobara yells again, standing up suddenly.
“This is insane! You’ve been sneaking around this whole time? That’s it. I demand details! Right now. How long has this been going on?”
“Yeah!” Yuji chimes in, pointing accusingly at Megumi.
“How did you manage to keep this a secret from me of all people?”
You laugh again, raising your hands in surrender.
“Okay, okay, calm down! It’s been a few months. We just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
“A few months?” Nobara shrieks, grabbing Yuji’s arm like she needs to hold onto something before she passes out.
“That’s practically a year in relationship time! How did you keep this from us? I’m so offended right now.”
“I knew you were acting weird!” Yuji exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.
“All those times you disappeared, Megumi! I knew something was up!”
Megumi groans, running a hand through his hair.
“You guys are overreacting.”
“Overreacting? This is the most exciting thing that’s happened all year and you hid it from us! You’re for the streets, Fushiguro!” Nobara echoes, voice high-pitched with disbelief.
Yuji nods, agreeing way too quickly.
“Yeah, we need details. Dates, first kiss, how did it start, everything.”
Before you can answer, a familiar voice interrupts the chaos.
“Oh, you guys are just figuring this out now?���
You all turn to see Gojo leaning casually against the doorway, a smug grin plastered on his face, arms crossed like he’s been watching this unfold for a while.
“What?” Nobara screeches again.
“YOU KNEW?!”
Gojo shrugs like it’s no big deal.
“Obviously. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out.”
Yuji’s jaw drops to the floor.
“You didn’t tell us?”
Gojo tilts his head, grinning.
“And ruin the fun of watching you two idiots freak out? Why would I do that?”
Nobara looks like she’s about to combust.
“So, you just let us suffer, while you were sitting there knowing the whole time?!”
Gojo shrugs again, completely unbothered.
“You’re welcome.”
Yuji groans, dramatically flopping onto the couch beside Nobara.
“I can’t believe this. I feel so betrayed.”
Nobara crosses her arms, huffing.
“Yeah, same. This is worse than the time Yuji ate my fries.”
“Hey, that was an accident!” Yuji protests.
Nobara glares at him.
“It was not an accident.”
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solxamber · 13 hours
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Crisis Averted - Cater Diamond x reader
After a royal screw up, Cater is left scrambling trying to fix his mistake before you find out. Best part? You've known what he did from the start and you think it's hilarious.
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It started out as a normal day. Sun shining, birds chirping, and Cater Diamond doing what Cater Diamond does best—being charming, taking selfies, and generally vibing. But today? Today was different. Today, something bad had happened. And Cater was in full-on crisis mode trying to fix it.
The problem? He’d accidentally erased an entire folder of your saved photos. Not just any folder, either—the one with all your most treasured memories. Birthday celebrations, vacations, goofy selfies of the two of you, everything. Gone. Deleted. Kaput.
Now, to most people, that might not seem like a big deal. But Cater knew better. Those pictures? They were important to you. You loved looking through them on rough days, getting lost in nostalgia, and reliving all those sweet moments. And now? Now they were digital dust, and he was freaking out.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…” Cater muttered under his breath, pacing back and forth in his room. He tugged at his hair, his phone in one hand as he furiously scrolled through every possible "how to recover deleted photos" forum. “I am so dead…”
What Cater didn’t realize, however, was that you already knew. In fact, you’d known from the start. He wasn’t exactly subtle, and after the fifth time he started texting you, only to delete the message before you could read it, you had a pretty good idea that something was up. Honestly? It was kind of… cute. Watching him scramble to fix things like that, his usual cool and carefree attitude unraveling right before your eyes.
You decided to sit back and let the chaos unfold.
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Meanwhile, Cater was in full-blown panic mode. He had no idea how you hadn’t noticed yet. He'd been avoiding you all day, coming up with the most ridiculous excuses for why he couldn’t meet up. His messages were starting to get weirder, too.
Cater: Heyyyyy, babe! Can we talk? Wait, no. Scratch that. Uhm, are you free? Like, soon?
Cater: Actually, no. Never mind. I’m busy. Super busy. The busiest. TTYL!
You stared at your phone, a smirk playing on your lips. He was so bad at this. Deciding to mess with him a little, you shot him a casual reply.
You: Sure, I’m free! Wanna hang out?
There was a solid three minutes of radio silence before Cater’s reply came in.
Cater: Haha, maybe later? I’ve got, uh… stuff. Very important unbirthday stuff.
You could practically feel the anxiety radiating through the text. Oh, this was going to be fun.
Back in his room, Cater was biting his nails, sweat beading on his forehead. “Okay, okay, okay. Gotta fix this, gotta fix this now,” he whispered to himself, pacing like a madman. He quickly uses split card, and suddenly, there were three Cater Diamonds standing in front of him, all looking equally panicked.
“Alright, team,” the original Cater said, clapping his hands together. “We’ve got a mission. We need to recover those photos before they notice anything.”
One of the clones raised an eyebrow. “How are we supposed to do that?”
“I don’t know!” Cater wailed. “That’s why we’re brainstorming!”
The clones exchanged a look before launching into a ridiculous plan. Clone One suggested hacking into your cloud account, while Clone Two thought maybe bribing one of your friends for a copy of the pictures might work. Neither idea was particularly realistic, but desperation was a powerful motivator.
“Alright, alright, calm down, me,” Cater said, rubbing his temples. “Let’s start with trying to recover the deleted files. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll… we’ll figure something out.”
The next few hours were a blur of Cater running around, trying every possible recovery trick in the book. He even roped his clones into checking your laptop, your external hard drives, and even the trash bin on your phone, all while sending you increasingly bizarre texts to keep you from getting suspicious.
Cater: Sooooo, what are you up to today? Got any fun plans? Not that I’m prying! Just curious!
You: Just chilling. You?
Cater: Oh, you know, vibing. Totally normal day here. Nothing weird happening.
You: Uh-huh. Sure.
By this point, you were just waiting for him to crack. And when he started sending his clones to “casually” check in on you—one pretending to drop by for a “totally innocent, nothing-to-see-here” visit—you had to bite back laughter.
The first clone showed up at your door, grinning nervously. “Hey! Just thought I’d swing by and say hi. You’re not, like, working on anything super important, are you?”
You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Not really. Why?”
The clone scratched the back of his neck, eyes darting around. “No reason! Just checking! Everything’s fine! Great! Haha, okay, bye!”
And he was gone just as quickly as he’d appeared.
You leaned back in your chair, shaking your head. Poor Cater was really losing it. And you… well, you were having the time of your life watching him squirm.
Finally, after what must’ve been hours of frantic searching, Cater hit his breaking point. All of his clones were gone, exhausted from their efforts, and he was alone in his room, slumped over his desk, completely defeated.
“I’m doomed,” he muttered to himself, face in his hands. “They’re going to hate me. I’ve ruined everything…”
That was your cue. You figured you’d let him off the hook before he spiraled into a full-on meltdown. Casually, you made your way over to his room and knocked on the door.
“Cater? You in there?”
There was a long pause, and then the door slowly creaked open. Cater peeked out, looking like he hadn’t slept in days. “Oh, hey…” His voice was weak, his usual enthusiasm completely drained.
You smiled softly, stepping inside. “You okay?”
He let out a shaky laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. I mean, no. Actually, no, I’m really not okay. I screwed up, and I didn’t know how to fix it, and now you’re going to be so mad at me, and I just—”
“Cater,” you interrupted, placing a hand on his arm. “I already know.”
He froze, eyes wide. “You… what?”
You chuckled. “I knew the second you started acting weird. You accidentally deleted my photos, right?”
Cater stared at you, completely dumbfounded. “You knew?”
“Yup,” you said, grinning. “And honestly? Watching you try to fix it has been hilarious.”
He gaped at you, his face a mix of relief, confusion, and a tiny bit of betrayal. “You… you knew? And you didn’t stop me?!” He whines "You're so, so mean!"
You laughed, pulling him into a hug. “I thought it was kind of cute. Plus, I backed up the photos ages ago, so it’s not a big deal.”
Cater sagged against you, all the tension draining from his body. “Oh my Seven… I thought I was going to die from stress.”
You smiled, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not off the hook, though. You still owe me for all the chaos you put me through today.”
He groaned, burying his face in your shoulder. “Fair. Totally fair. But… thanks. For not being mad.”
“Who could be mad at you?” you teased. “You were way too entertaining.”
Cater finally pulled back, his usual grin returning, though there was still a hint of sheepishness in his eyes. “Well, I guess if you enjoyed the show, then it wasn’t a total disaster.”
You chuckled, ruffling his hair. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Diamond.”
He flashed you a wink, back to his old self again. “Oh, I know I am.”
And just like that, the crisis was averted.
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Masterlist
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blurbfics · 1 day
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There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part eight]
Summary: A normal morning in Azriel's life.
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: fluff, slight sexual insinuations (when are Nesta and Cassian not banging tho), anxious mannerisms, beginning of emotional turmoil (not yet angst)
Minors, do not interact.
a/n: yeah yeah its another short one but i guess i can only write 2k words at a time unless its cassian's pov? anyway, hope yall are riding with me still! i just finished an outline im feeling more satisfied with so fear not my friends! there will be more plot coming soon. besides we gotta let them fall in love, right? here's some luna lovegood-esque content. also if you haven't seen dinner in america, you should give it a try. it's so cute i havent had a crush in so long
part seven
Masterlist
"Creature of my desire, takes us higher
To not hold your face or feel your embrace, is why I waste
But she's just a phase, just a phase
Boy yeah, she's easy to replace"
Puma Blue, (She's) Just a Phase
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It was yet another day of training with the priestesses and nothing was truly different than any other day. 
Every morning he would wake up alone at his townhouse in the city and quickly down his plain but nutritious breakfast before winnowing directly to the House of Wind, and if he heard disconcerting sounds coming from inside the house, he pretended he didn’t and that he didn’t notice the bright red bite marks on his brother’s neck when he appeared a few minutes later, eyes hazed and a smug satisfied smile in place.
Except that when he winnowed to the training ring that morning he found he wasn’t alone. 
The sun was only barely waking up and yet she had already made the day her own.
Eowyn panted from her spot on the floor (at a reasonable distance from the now faint creaking sound coming from the house), the only visible skin around her eyes bright with perspiration yet she didn’t seem to be doing anything to explain her clearly strained behavior.
Clearly sensing his approach, the young priestess snapped her eyes open and evened out her breaths. “Oh, hey Master of the Shadows” she breathed casually, using one of her usual obnoxious titles she thought were hilarious, having heard them spoken earnestly from a brown nosing vendor in Velaris. The first time she’d called him ‘lord of shadows,’ he’d been so gobsmacked by the ridiculousness of the title and had let the surprise slip on his face, which had caused her to latch on to the titles. Since then, he refused to correct her, knowing that doing so would only be fuel for her to do it more. 
He frowned at her, “what are you doing here?”
“Can’t a priestess admire a sunrise around here?”
His frown smoothed into something more neutral. While not letting it show, he found himself curiously amused, but mostly profoundly intrigued. As if she was a puzzle he couldn’t help but try to solve. “You looked like you were convulsing.”
Her dark eyes narrowed at him and despite the thrill he felt shooting down his spine and the smile he felt threatening to rise on his lips, he quickly composed himself, masking any rising emotion with a stoic look on his face. His clear dismissive disinterest seemed to irritate her further. “I was warming up,” she shrugged, looking away and he needn’t see her eyes to know it was a lie, despite how casually she tried to make it sound, “thought I’d take a moment to rest.”
He couldn’t help himself, “right…unless you’re here to listen to Cassian and Nesta…?”
She tilted head slightly to the side in confusion, her dark eyes seeking and he watched in amusement the second it clicked, the top bridge of her nose, barely covered by her veil, scrunching cutely as she grimaced at him. He half-mindedly wondered if part of her clear aversion to the sun was due to the possibility of freckles on such lovely skin but quickly rid the notion, knowing somehow intrinsically that her aversion to the sun ran deeper than vanity. A shame she didn’t spend more time in it, he considered. She’d look lovely with freckles.
“Please,” she snorted, “I’ve enough with Nesta’s detailed descriptions to last a lifetime, I don’t need to hear her make Cassian cry out her name and beg her to ‘let him cum’ right now, I’m getting the full story later.” And while the casual talk of sex surprised him, somehow foolishly expecting pious shyness from her, it was the next sentence that intrigued him. “I’ve been hearing too many things in the wind all morning to focus on something so banal.”
Perhaps there was yet another exception to his otherwise normal and routine morning— his immediate and decided rejection of Rhysand’s attempt at a mental connection, his rhetorical daily debriefing where his boss presented him with his case file and mission for the day, except Azriel had no intention to go on any missions today. He’d told Rhys he’d be busy three days of the week every week, and any missions he assigned would either have to wait a day or he could deal with the problem himself. Today, as he knew very well, was a Juneday and today he trained with Eowyn after their daily group training, and he had no intention of canceling his meeting with her.
“Are you okay?” She asked him, and when his eyes came back to focus he saw that she was now back to her feet, no longer looking as out of place as she inspected him with a hint of concern in her eye. “You just…left.”
“I was talking to Rhys,” he explained, a half lie. He figured that Rhysand’s lack of insistence meant the conversation could likely wait.
She only hummed in response, nodding understandingly and asked nothing further. 
“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her.
“What was your question?”
Irked, his eyebrows narrowed at her, “what were you doing?”
“You don’t let anything go, do you?” She rolled her eyes, exasperated, but he saw a glint of absolute glee light her eyes. “My Venus dionaea has officially held onto the will to live for a month and even sprouted a companion, so of course I had to stay and offer moral support to a postpartum mother.”
He stared at her, “this is…a cannibalistic plant?”
“Close, it’s carnivorous, but I’m glad to know you’ve been paying attention to my ramblings the past couple days. Do you want to see it?”
And he did. Pay attention to her, that is. Eowyn was an enigma to him. He couldn’t say he’d ever met any fae, male or female for that matter, that intrigued him as much as she did, for the interest he had in her was not the allconsuming yearning for belonging he’d wanted from Mor nor the passionate protective desire he felt for Elain. What started with simple curiosity and intrigue in the young priestess turned into a challenge for him, to uncover layer after layer to her person and know— he just wanted to know her secrets, had no intention of using them against her or doing anything with them, really— he just had to understand her.
And every day, Eowyn revealed only enough for him to obsess over all over again. She barely opened the curtains to the window of a locked chamber, allowing him just enough to know there was something there but never know what it was. Not all of her revelations were shown through conversations– in fact, the majority was based on her altering moods, as indetectable as they were to others.
He continued to stare, mind truly blank for something more to say. “Sure.”
He couldn’t help the deep breath he inhaled inside the warm greenhouse, that smelled mostly of varied flora but contained something else, her own scent somehow intertwined in the greenhouse from all the time she spent in there. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at the thought of what her office in the library must smell like, of what her bedroom smelled like.
“Now before we approach her, there are some rules,” she spoke so quickly and lowly, he had to strain his neck down to catch everything. Surprisingly, he found that he didn’t need to pull his wings tighter into himself to fit, the small space somehow big enough to fit both of them comfortably through the rows of plants. “You do not, under any circumstances, point at her,” she instructed, “it makes her feel insecure and anxious and it will kill her. You’re not allowed to speak to her unless you’re praising her in some way, and please, for the love of the Mother, do not approach her if you’re in a sour mood. She can detect that and it makes her so upset, she’ll refuse to eat for days”
“And why am I speaking to a plant?”
“Because here, life is precious,” she said grandly yet the way her gaze held his told him she did not speak lightly. As boisterous, even performative, as Eowyn was when she was feeling particularly tired— a rather common occurrence he’d noticed in the few months they’d trained together— there was an edge to her voice, only barely noticeable enough for him to know that she truly meant her words, believed in them. “A greenhouse oversees the line between mortality and immortality. Here, plants may sometimes die, but I’m here to make sure that their kind doesn’t die with them— thus they will live on, as long as the earth, its nutrients, and the sun allow it to. I quite enjoy the perspective it offers.”
He’d noticed this of Eowyn, as well. As sharp and cunning, if perhaps somewhat timid and shy at first glance, as she was, there was something peculiar about her that one could never pinpoint. It was no secret that she was bright, that she held an infinite wisdom in her sharp dark eyes, but they also held something some may find… jarring. An almost imperceptible but always present sort of manic way about her. 
Her eyes, the only indicator he had to perceive any type of true emotion, were always flittering around, always inspecting her surroundings, as if looking or expecting something to occur at any moment. He noticed, sometimes, how she seemed to tremble in place in a way that went beyond exertion or even cold from the brisk mornings, like there was something rattling inside her that needed to get out.
It was particularly present now. He inspected her and noticed the dark circles under her already dark eyes framed by long soft lashes. He’d known for a while that Eowyn often had trouble sleeping, and he was beginning to recognize the signs when she was going through a particularly tough episode. 
She had told him that since their training had begun and she became more exposed to the outside world, she’d found solace in nature beyond what was contained within a mountain. This helped, she told him, but it clearly wasn’t enough.
Despite her clear sleepless frenzy and anxious energy, Azriel thought, objectively, of course, that she looked rather beautiful. 
He immediately chastened himself at the thought.
He’d made a vow, if only to himself, to focus on himself for once rather than to yearn for or ‘pant’ after females, as Rhys had so gently put it. Had decided that unrequited affections only brought hurt and pain, and going after a priestess that sought haven in a library precisely because she’d been so hurt by a male that she would want to live in a micro-society where they couldn’t invade, was like a slap in the face. As if he only went after unavailable females and what did that say about him as a male?
As always, he stopped the thought and filed it away for later.
Instead, he spent the rest of the morning listening to Eowyn coo and awe and the truly puny and ugly plant barely sprouting two leafs that looked like flat lips, but he kept the comment to himself, promising not to look at the plant that she’d ever-so-lovingly called Thelxi, in tribute to the Siren Thelxiepeia from the human tales that cunningly seduced her prey before consuming them like a true predator. She cooed at the plant, telling it how smart and cunning it was in between her truly fascinating bits of information that she often shared with him. Information he cherished, despite its lack of practical use.
It wasn’t until his shadows pulled him away from the bubble he hadn’t realized he was in, whispering of his brother’s annoyance mixed with concern about his lack of appearance in the sparring ring.
Even as he rushed Eowyn out of the greenhouse and into their group session, feeling Cassian’s red hot glare upon him when he showed his face, he couldn’t bring himself to regret the slight alterations to what was otherwise a perfectly normal day.
taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel, @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland
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markscherz · 2 years
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what's the stupidest/silliest looking frog you know of?
Oh
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heck
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that's
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such
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a
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great
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question
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where
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do
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I
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even
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start?
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[In order of appearance: Glyphoglossus molossus, Myobatrachus gouldii, Choerophryne proboscidea, Nasikabatrachus sahyadrensis, Pipa pipa, Litoria pinocchio, Triprion petasatus, Synapturanus danta, Breviceps verrucosus, Notaden bennettii, Hemisus guttatus, Hemiphractus bubalus]
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sonknuxadow · 5 months
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knuckles series spoilers like actual spoilers not just me vaguely talking about my feelings
i cant believe they put iblis in the sonic movies before amy . what timeline are we in . sorry i was gonna hold out for a litlte bit on saying anything that could be an actual spoiler but i literally cant stop thinking about Giant Iblis Puppet Jumpscare . also for people who didnt actually watch it and are reading the posts about it this happens when wade is knocked out and sent to the magic ghost dimension and meets pachacamac and theres a musical number where wade is in a knuckles costume acting out knuckles' life so far and the giant iblis puppet shows up because apparently knuckles has fought iblis before??? and the iblis puppet is holding a laptop singing about facebook marketplace. im not lying i couldnt even make this up if i tried
also when i say "damn cant believe iblis got in before amy" i understand that amy would have been harder to incorporate its just wild that this happened. does that make sense. idk
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citizen-of-the-fandom · 8 months
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Loving the idea of Astarion Origin runs. This guy? The guy whose plans have never developed beyond:
Stab
???
Profit
That guy? That guy is in charge of 5 chaotic strangers and making decisions and saving the world now?
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daxite · 21 days
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i think some of you guys are looking way too fucking deep into the shitty minecraft movie lol
#dax rambles#yes it looks complete fucking garbage but like#wow no way the billion dollar highest-selling game franchise got a terrible movie?#the franchise that has been a cash cow for over a decade?#people going on about how “MINECRAFT IS ABOUT THE UNIVERSE AND LIFE IT IS NOT CRINGE!!!! IT IS HECKIN DEEP AND STUFF!!”#is just so moronic lol#i agree that minecraft -- especially early days -- is very special and has this feeling to it that is weirdly magical and beautiful#but at the end of the day it's a silly fucking block game about creativity (that's a complaint i do agree with for the movie as well)#no minecraft wasn't designed to be this super deep subtly narrative-driven game the end poem doesn't actually mean anything#notch just wanted something weird for the end credits and the guy delievered lol#like obviously people's interpretations of the end poem are great and i love that and feeding into it for the movie would've been kino but#it's so tiring seeing people acting like minecraft is actually this super 2deep4u game when it really is not#again this is a billion-dollar franchise i expected the movie to be slop the moment is was announced i really do not care lmfao#people asking to boycott and shit is fucking hilarious though like it does not even matter at all LOL#like genuinely just who gives a shit it was going to be bad and looks bad if you don't want to see it then don't watch it#originally i was going to see it for a laugh but it just looks so boring not even funny-bad so i'm not bothering lol#not even because i'm “boycotting” i just don't care it looks terrible#saying this as someone who very much grew up with minecraft i've been playing since fucking alpha 1.1.2#and lord knows how much of an impact it made on me for many many reasons LMAO#but yeah no people are reading way too deep into it and getting way too mad over it#it's just kind of ridiculous
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mad-hunts · 27 days
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imagine how drastically different spending a day with barton could be as his friend though... like, it's literally a coin flip between him doing something illegal but perhaps objectively kind of funny in a 'wtf is happening?' way, to him doing just completely morally bankrupt. and for the first thing, i'm talking about barton stealing all of the candles of a certain scent from a store because he liked it and because 'they're already making enough money.' or, for the latter, barton not telling your muse anything about how everything they're doing that day is to prepare for him to MURDER someone. which then all of a sudden comes to a climax when he kills them like that is a totally okay to do (and this is sarcasm, OFC jsjsj) while he genuinely thinks he looks like this to your muse afterward when he just committed a damn atrocity:
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arklay · 2 years
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DIANA x ALBERT WESKER / template.
#mine.#pair: ewskers#oc: diana#click for better quality ♡#posting this before i start changing more things lmao but yes i went nuts and made my own psd from scratch... don't look at me#changed ages to birth years cause of how much time passes in the story!! and also gives cheeky fc for you hehe runs away#the checkboxes make me scream like he almost had a clean sweep it's so funny. and he could've had one more i'm not even joking. cause their#first kiss was technically both of them... like idk how to explain this but they were already standing close then diana moved even closer#and was tracing his jaw and such and they were just lingering while holding eye contact but he was the one who actually closed the distance#so i mean... yeah. she was just about to and he beat her to it!! but diana made the move to get them into that position in the first place#is what i mean. i just couldn't give him more it was already too hilarious lmao#can't tell if i like the lil icons but i can't doodle so peace and love on planet earth but yes i'm happy with how this came out hehe#clueless levels are cause they are clowns <3 i have a lot of thoughts about all that but yes they both take hints in some aspects but i#think they both have trouble telling if they are genuine or not or if they are misreading the situation or whether something is romantic or#not (unless ofc it's over the top and ridiculous. ahem. excella. cough. explodes her with my mind) but yeah hit him with the tism so he's#learnt how to read people very well as he's gotten older but i think when it comes to actual just genuine like wanting to get to know#someone and not just someone wanting to get in his pants he seconds guesses it a lot. and diana's all stems from being rattled by her past#experiences oughguhh and i mean her not actually having experienced proper feelings for someone until him lmao but she's got trust issues#also there were so many tropes i could use (thank you to bestie elliot for helping me finds names of things) but i had to do i got you a#drawer specifically because that moment has such a special place in my heart!! like i need to finish the wip where i talk about that cause#it makes me so silly i'm not even joking#anyway omg i hope the mentions work because doing this on the legacy editor after copying the html for beta one because the image just#didn't want to work in the beta image for some reason rip
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loveoaths · 2 years
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I’ve been reading through Darth Momin’s Wookiepedia entry recently and he is fascinating. Momin is considered a “Sith heretic” which, conceptually, is just…… how bad/weird/annoying do you have to be for the SITH, the biggest annoying asshole whiners in the galaxy, to look at you and think, “Yeah I’mma need this bitch OUTTA HERE ASAP”???
The answer is: pretty goddamn annoying. But I’ll get to that in a second.
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His “heresy” is believing that the Sith do not control the Dark Side; the dark side controls them. They exist solely to serve it, to please it through their works and actions. He does not believe in the wanton destruction of his peers; he believes in creation. Adding to the world instead of taking it apart. Unfortunately his idea of “adding to the world” is shit like “use the Force to lock an entire city in the second before it’s utter annihilation, thus creating an endless source of pain and fear and terror to fuel my Evil Engine so I can get a good grade in Being Loved By the Dark Side, which is both normal and something possible to achieve.”
And then he fucking FAILS at it because some pesky little Jedi get onto his engine and the mere presence of light side energy distracts him so much that he EXPLODES HIMSELF. this guy sucks so fucking bad it’s unreal. I’m obsessed.
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Momin thinks the Sith obsession with Jedi is stupid and irrelevant to their purpose, which is to honor the Dark Side and execute its will across the Galaxy. This school of thought appears to be unique to him, since it is considered antithetical to everything mainstream Sith believe, and it dies with him, because they ensure his name is not recorded in any Sith or Jedi holocron; his legacy is all but eradicated. This is 1) hilarious, but also 2) indicative of the accusation he levels against the Sith: they are so focused on hoarding and hiding knowledge that they undermine themselves and the efforts of their entire group, when they could be serving one goal — honoring the Dark Side — and rebuilding the galaxy in its image. This guy is technically the eclectic fringe hippie guy of the Sith, and he’s like. An art / architecture / engineering triple major with a minor in being fucking creepy.
And the reason he is LIKE this is because he got one (1) bad art review on his first sculpture — which was totally understandable considering he made said sculpture out of the family pet. And Momin decides, fuck it if y’all don’t like my work then I don’t like YOU. Also DIE.
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His art (and therefore life) philosophy becomes obsessed with pain and fear. To him they are the only true emotions, the only ones that define our nature, the only emotions that matter. Sure dude. I’m sure that has nothing to do with everyone hating your art and being freaked out by you. You totally didn’t create an entire artistic vision that claims how people receive YOUR work is universal and the only purpose of art, because there is no way your art isn’t just awful and bad and nauseating. Noooo, that’s what art is supposed to be!
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He also thinks Vader is a bitch, which is hilarious, because seconds after this Vader smears him across the floor.
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If this guy was a doughnut, the outside dough would be Art/Stem Boy Who Tells You You Like Art Wrong and his inside would be Hannibal + Villanelle jelly.
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He may as well have said “This is my design.”
Oh, and on top of being a brilliant dingus, this guy somehow conjured a door to the dark side itself, pulled his original body from it and transfered his consciousness to it (implying that he has technically unlocked the key to immortality that the Sith have been banging on about for eons), is strong enough in the dark side that a fragment of his soul can survive inside a stupid little helmet long after he’s dead, doesn’t believe in the Master-Apprentice dynamic, is a perfect plot vehicle for any time travel fic because if any bitch has found a way to the World Between Worlds it’s this guy and he WILL be making it your problem, and is somehow both one of the most unique and most exhausting Sith —
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All while looking like a rejected Keebler elf.
I’m obsessed.
(Credit to @gffa for these comic images I found in the #darth momin tag!)
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sophiethewitch1 · 6 months
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wait wait i think i might have it? this idea might be it
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tj-crochets · 2 years
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Hey y’all! Weird question time! First, an explanation: - I am allergic to vinegar - vinegar is acetic acid + water - apparently, the human body naturally produces small amounts of acetic acid And now, the question: Could I be slightly allergic to myself????? To the acetic acid??
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I just discovered that the news letter for the catholic church reviews movies and rates them im having a riot y’all this almost makes up for the ✨trauma✨
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niuxita21 · 1 year
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I don’t want to go through two breakups. I know. I... I don’t like this at all, either. The thing about the medicine was a misunderstanding, a lack of communication. We have to talk to each other. Hey, you started with your tantrums! Yes, I know! I’m here to apologize and see how we can fix this, so that things can work out. I think we could start by telling each other everything about our babies. Yes. [beat] How are you? I miss talking to you, but I know... that this is for the best. I’m not ready. Regina’s tummy is doing much better. Aw, that’s good. Well, I’m off. 
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#the more I rewatch this scene to cap it the more I love it for all its angsty goodness#ana's soft 'hola' when mariana comes in :))))#mariana having no qualms about calling ana out on her hilariously ridiculous behaviour earlier in the episode#I did love the return of the bickering because it tickles me that mariana always gives as good as she gets#mariana's soft and sad 'how are you' and ana admitting she missed her (basically in so many words)#and I'm OBSESSED by what she meant by not being ready like is she not ready to be with mariana so being apart is what's for the best#or is she not ready to see mariana on a regular basis bc it still hurts too much so the divorced wives routine is what's for the best??#what does it mean what does it all meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn#I'll tell you this much though this scene single-handledly filled the 50-metre hole episode 5 left in my heart so thanks for that show#seeing these two talking to each other again even if in a very stereotypically angsty otp way is truly a balm to the soul :))))#continuing with things I loved: mariana interjecting about regina's tummy almost like looking for something to fill the silence#or to change the subject to something less raw and painful than their feelings for each other ugh *chef's kiss*#AND THEN... ana's awkward hand thing when saying goodbye like she didn't know if it was ok for them to touch even in a friendly way again#and how mariana leans forward infinitesimally like to kiss her goodbye (on the cheek)#just the general awkwardness of not knowing what to do with each other in this new limbo they've walked into I LOVE THAT SHIT#and mariana's downright devastated lil face as she watches ana leave :((((#friendly reminder that she had already broken up with ferrán by then#(btw I find it hard to believe that THIS is how the great love story of mariana and ferrán will come to an end but hey I'm NOT complaining!)#so her expression is not 'I feel bad bc I'm happy in my relationship and you're still hurt and sad'#it almost reads like something is shifting within mariana that she's only now realizing after talking to ana in a friendly way after so long#brb flying into the sun#and next episode ana does ayahuasca (??!!!) and mariana gets a job offer in another city??? shit is kicking into high gear!!!!!
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Hetalia except for some reason the main cast randomly decides to be superheroes and they become a superhero team.
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mywritersmind · 22 days
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THE BOOTH - LN4
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summary : The booth. A notorious club in the heart of london, where y/n and lando met again after two years of silence.
listen up : fewtrell!reader. She sits in his lap. no smut, just hot and suggestive. creepy guy in the beginning! Prob my fav short i’ve written omg
word count : 1732
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“No.” I giggle out of uncomfortableness at the man getting closer to me.
“C’mon, let me buy you a drink.” the man reeks of alcohol and has fucked up teeth. I’ve seen enough. I pull down the bottom of my mini dress as I stand.
“No.” I repeat, pushing past him. The club is crowded and sticky, I see my friends but a hand around my wrist pulls me back.
“Really? Too good for me?” He scoffs in my face but the next thing I know he’s being pushed away from me.
“She is.” The voice comes from the man in front of me, the guy who pushed this dickhead away. “Piss off. She’s with me.”
The guy seems intimidated enough because he gives me a dirty look and leaves. “Thank y-” I pause when the man turns around.
I pause because the man is my childhood crush, brothers best friend, and fucking formula one driver.
“Lando?” I’m genuinely shocked that the britt I haven’t seen in two years is standing in front of me.
“Y/n!?” He looks me up and down, his mouth open, “Fuck… You look good.” I could say the same for him, in a navy button down, jeans, and his jewelry adorning his hands. He’s ridiculously hot.
I laugh, “Careful Lan, my brother could be lurking.” I switch my weight onto one leg as he smirks.
Max loves Lando. Max loves me.
Therefore, Max HATED the thought of us even speaking. We were all friends in childhood but our teens hit and suddenly I was completely off limits. I’m pretty sure he noticed how much I asked about Lando and swore that he would kill both of us if anything happened.
Someone walks behind him, causing him to get closer, his hand brushing against my hip, “Don’t scare me, yeah?”
I bite my lip at the thought, we start walking across the room, Lando’s hand firmly on me now as he ‘guides’ me. “Don’t worry. Idiots in Monaco… which means we have free rein.”
I see his jaw clench, his drink slide onto his lips again, “I’d like to keep my friendship.”
“I’d like to lose my panties.” I’m quick to reply, messing with Lando used to be my favorite thing.
You see, Lando is Max’s best friend. He feels bad lying and this would definitely be considered a betrayal of trust.
But for me… Max is my brother. I can lie and do whatever I want with no remorse. Lando is something I could do easily and as much as it would make me happy to piss off my brother, Norris has always been that one guy in the back of my mind.
“Christ Y/n. Missed your remarks.” We make it to the wall, it’s a bit quieter over here.
“You mean you missed my flirting?” I look up at him, he just bites his lip, hiding his smile.
“I missed you.” He surprises me with this.
“I missed you too.” I push my hand through my hair, “How’ve you been?”
“Good. Really good.” He smiles big and I know it’s because of his racing.
“Watched your win in Zandvoort.” I sigh, “Simply lovely was brutal.” He rolls his eyes, laughing and leaning his head back on the wall.
“Not you too!”
“It was hilarious! I liked it!” I hit his arm and the way he looks at me… it’s like every emotion that I've tucked away and only opened up in the darkness of my bedroom after midnight, comes out then. “I like this too.”
My hand goes to the back of his neck, playing with his curls that shape his baby mullet.
“Don’t do that.” He shakes his head, his eyes cut into me, his voice weak.
“What?” I say innocently.
“You always do this.”
“Do what, Norris?” Lando never was that much taller than me, but something about the two passed years has changed that.
His tongue runs over his teeth, he’s about to say something but two guys appear next to us, “Mate! We’ve been looking for you!” Another British man speaks, Alex Albon to be exact.
“Found a friend?” Carlos sainz eyes me, dressed in all black.
I smile at the drivers, Lando eyes Carlos. “Max’s sister. Y/n.” They both nod and look much too interested in how Lando says it, “Y/n… this is Alex and Carlos.”
“Pleasure.” I smile wide. I am an F1 fan, it’s a bit weird seeing Lando on the grid but I’ll sit and watch with Max almost every weekend that we’re together.
“Pleasures all ours! I’ve always wanted to meet Lando’s childhood crush!” Lando hits Carlos, making him grab his stomach, “Worth it!” The Spanish man chokes out.
Lando scratches the back of his neck, not looking at me. “Are you here with anyone?” Alex asks me, I knew he would be nice.
“Yeah! I’m not sure where they are but…”
“That’s okay. You have us now!” Alex and I end up getting a drink, Lando stays back with Carlos who’s definitely teasing him.
I get a vodka lemonade and four shots. Alex and I are already best friends and laughing so hard that Carlos and Lando won’t stop asking us what’s so funny.
They don’t know that I showed Alex a photo of Lando and I as smurfs when we were five.
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LANDO NORRIS
Describing Y/n is something i’ve done many times. To friends, for context in stories, but if i’d really describe her… I don’t think I would have an ending point.
She’s got long blonde hair. She cut it all off when she was fifteen and I almost fainted when I didn’t recognize her. She loved it.
She’s confident, you can see it in her walk. Her hips sway and the click of her heels is something I'll never forget.
When she talks to you, all attention is on you, her eyes are hazel, appearing brown in the dark but if you get close enough… you’ll see the green.
She never quite had an awkward stage, always been beautiful, probably always will be. I haven’t seen her in years yet she acts like I talked to her yesterday.
Y/n sucks on a lime after her shot, smiling and clapping her hands together, “God, I feel like i’m in highschool!”
I obviously didn’t go to school with her. She’s a year younger and Max would non stop complain about her. She was more popular than him, going out, and was basically friends with everyone.
I remind myself again that Max is the reason why my arm is around the couch and not her waist.
⋆。‧˚⋆
Y/N
“Norris!” I stand, holding out my hand, “Picture time.” I smile as he stands with me.
“What?” Carlos asks.
“Called the booth for a reason, Sainz!” I grin at the boys, gripping Lando’s hand tight and maneuvering us through the crowd.
There’s one photo booth in the back corner of the club. It’s notorious for famous photos and making everyone look good.
I look back at the boys who all look confused. All except Lando.
We came to the booth when Lando was in town from F2, we were 17 and 18. Max had gone off with some girl and we found ourselves in this exact booth.
We swore never to talk about it.
But I’m all for repeating history.
“Fewtrell…” He warns in my ear as we walk to the starred booth.
I glance back, dragging out his name, “Norris.”
He gets in first, unlike us as teens, only one person can fit. I smile and watch Lando’s face drop, I sit down on his lap, “Playing with fire here, love.” he says in my ear.
“I don’t mind getting burned.” He slips two coins in, his hand moving to my waist and holding me steady.
We smile first.
SNAP
I move a bit and give him bunny ears.
SNAP
Lando clears his throat, gripping my skin tighter as he looks at me. I move again, my skirt riding up a bit. “Trying to kill me?”
I smile and kiss his cheek, feeling something hard against me.
SNAP
“Of course.” I look at him, “The memories in here… You remember?”
“I’d be an idiot to forget.”
His hand moves down my hip, closer to my thigh. I look at him again as the photo booth starts up for the second time, “I shouldn’t.” He whispers, my face centimeters from his. I hear the whistles outside.
I shift once more, turning more to him. He groans, his head falling backwards and his eyes closing, “Give me a good reason.”
SNAP
He opens his eyes, meeting mine. I know I've got him. My hand rests on his neck, my rings pressing against his skin. He mumbles something but it’s too loud, “Speak up, Norris.”
“Never spoken.” His eyes flick to my lips, trying to get me to promise this is a secret.
“Never ever.” He leans in closer.
SNAP
“Come on rule breaker… I believe in you.” I whisper in his ear and it breaks him. I’m pulling his head closer to me, his lips on mine, a relief like no other.
He grabs ass, pulling me closer in the tiny space. I slip my tongue in his mouth, whimpering a bit. He bites my lip. I’m melting into him. It’s hot and needy but so much more than I could have ever wanted.
SNAP
Kissing Lando at Seventeen was scandalous and drunken. Kissing Lando at Twenty Three flat out sexy.
“Need you…” He whispers into the kiss which makes me almost come undone right then and there.
Someone bangs on the booth, “Alright Lovebirds!” Lando laughs but I'm the one to pull away.
“I can’t leave this booth.” He says quickly, his face red and sweaty.
“You’ll be fine-” I understand what he’s talking about when I go to leave and something brushes against my leg, “Oh.”
He looks away from me, blushing.
I smile, proud of myself for the boner and his pink cheeks, “Aw come on! I’ll cover you.” I wink and he rolls his eyes, He walks out behind me, his arms firmly on my waist again.
The two drivers grin at us, “You covering a boner?” Carlos starts but gets punched for the second time tonight by Lando. He holds his stomach again, “Still worth it!”
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