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#look at this man. you are trying to tell me he isnt bisexual are you fucking CRAZY
im-in-a-love-cult · 6 months
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Marauders era headcanons!!
The Royal court
Requested by @thestarslittleking
Sorry if you disagree with some of them!!
Regulus
Pouty
Like a pout is almost always on his face
His eyes are really telling of his emotions sometimes
Likes physical contact with people hes EXTREMELY close with
Likes being called Reg by people hes close with
If a random person calls him it theyre going to the hospital 💀💀
Bi, trans and asexual
'Its the 70s he wouldnt be-' kindly stfu 💞💞🥰🥰
This is a common one but hes practically a poet
Strong French accent
Japanese/british English/ French
As i said in the previous hcs his accent is stronger then Sirius's
Loves the water
He's actually really smiley around his friends
Classical music but when he gets into his later years in hogwarts he starts to like goth music
I can see him being good at gothic dances
Black cat animagus IDC
Barty
unhinged
Thats it. Thats the hc.
A whore tbh
Liked Reggie for a while
Until he was like 'dayum look at Evan 😼'
LMFAO
Ok I'll try not to include too many ships in these
This isnt my original idea but affectionately bites people
'Barty... what're you doing?" "Nom"
When drunk hes...something
Take that how u will
Tw for drugs in the next hc!!
Honestly more of a weed kinda guy
Ok tw over continue reading
Professional complainer
If complaining was a job he'd be the richest man alive (well not alive but..)
ROCK MUSIC
queen fan idc
Him and Sirius are actually very similar in a lot of areas
Thats why Reggie was drawn to Barty
Plays the drums
He wears tank tops a lot
Always hurts somewhere
Its mostly his fault
I can see him being bi with a preference for boys or just full on gay
Dorcas
Sirius has competition to whos the most beautiful person in the Marauders era fr
Almost always has locs or braids
Scarily good at makeup
Tall
Potential to be a 2000s Victoria secret model fr
Has the most beautiful soothing voice
Lesbian non-binary (they/she)
So many people have a crush on them
Fav alcohol is wine
Classy 😻😻
Extremely smart
Really long eyelashes
I love her
Doesn't care for animals
Really likes dragons tho
HER AND REGGIE ARE A POWER DUO IDC
Steady hands
Wears lots of rings
Ignores people a lot 💀💀
Sassy as HELLL
Barely ever means it tho
Evan
One of those scary blue eyed blondes
Kind of a less energetic version of Barty
BISEXUAL IDC
A gentleman to all girls he dates
All the boys got usual, casual dating
Barty gets to be treated like a one of those dogs that look like rats 🥰
I KNOW WHAT THE NAME IS BUT I CANT SPELL IT
Chiwawa
Ciwawa
Chiwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can see him having really light freckles
Will punch someone in the face for funsies
"Evan why would you do that!?!" "I was bored bro"
BARELY passes his tests
He passes but only by a few marks
Loves making fun of peoples voices
Its his favourite pastime
Pandora
So unnecessarily nice to 1st years
And everyone tbh
Smiley
Pansexual
Loves animals of any kind
If shes angry shes lowkey scary 😨😨
Actually really funny
Her hairs messy 84% of the time
When shes too active or gets too hot her cheeks go really red
ME TOO BABES ME TOO 😭🤞
Spaces out so easily
Blonde blue eyed but less scary than evan 😭
A bit of a potty mouth
Also really smart
"Wow this friend groups so smart!" And then theres Evan and Barty 💀💀
Really posh accent
Has scars from thorns and animals and shit 💀
Loves learning new things
No matter what that thing it
'Knowledge has no boundaries' i feel like she says that
Or at least goes by it
Shes so real wtf
YES YOU CAN MAKE REQUESTS!! I'm new to this so please be patient 😭 i prefer requests to be put in my asks!! Thanks for the positive feedback yall :)
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charalysis · 10 months
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Sebastian Vael
Opinion: Sebastian Vael isnt boring, you all are merely unwilling to recognize a victim of religious brainwashing and abuse when it’s someone like him.
Firstly, let’s establish a timeline. 
Canonically, in Act 3 of Dragon Age two, Sebastian claims he has not seen Starkhaven, his home, in fifteen years. He was forced into the Chantry shortly after his grandfather gave him his bow, which was at 13 years old, making Sebastian, at minimum, 13 when he was forced into the Chantry. This timeline honestly doesn’t sit right with me. Given the reason his family put him into the Chantry was they were “worried he would sire a bastard child”, this implies Sebastian, at 13 years old, just hitting puberty, was already having such an active sex life (which has alarming implications on it’s own), that his parents decided to take action and force him into Chastity.
I find it far more likely Sebastian was 16 at youngest when he was doing this, thus making him 31 or so by Act 3. While a hypersexual 16 year old is still concerning, it’s far more believable than a 13 year old.
Regardless, Sebastian was shoved into the Chantry between 13-16 years old in Kirkwall, under the watchful eyes of Grand Cleric Elthina.
To understand Sebastian’s behavior, we must understand Elthina’s interactions with him.
Elthina plays the roll of overbearing and manipulative mother to Sebastian, as he doesn’t seem to ever see his mother again after being thrown into the Chantry. Elthina, throughout DA2, is seen berating Sebastian for his behavior, for his mere personality. Sebastian acts impulsive, she yells as him, he makes friends outside the Chantry, she yells at him. He’s considering his faith and trying harder to be devout, it’s not good enough, and she yells at him. Elthina repeatedly comes at Sebastian like a chastising mom and gets frustrated when he questions her or disagrees. Elthina is even seen/ heard trying to make things Sebastian’s fault, as if his impulsive and inquisitive personality is glaring flaw. She does not tolerate him questioning her.
Sebastian always leaves his conversations with Elthina confused or frustrated, as she’s defensive and shuts him down immediately.
Given this, we may also examine Sebastian’s habit of relating things back to Andrastianism and his faith. Based on how hard Elthina drills things into his head with Hawke around, it’s entirely possible that before Hawke arrived in his life, Sebastian blindly followed whatever she said. It’s not exactly clear what Sebastian specifically dealt with before he met Hawke, but given Kirkwall’s Chantry is as corrupt as the rest of the city, there’s a possibility he wasn’t fed his beliefs and the Chant of Light by reading.
When Sebastian recites things about the Maker or the Chant, at times it feels as though he’s more so trying to convince himself more than anything, especially given he doesn’t try to push his beliefs onto others. The closest he gets to that is A) helping Fenris navigate his own struggles with faith, B) suggesting to Merrill it’s possible both faiths are correct and can can coexist. 
Another thing that leads me to believe he’s not as invested in his faith as he claims is one quote from him to Varric. “Varric, would the Maker but approve, you and I could be more than the best of friends”.
Opinion: Youre gonna look me in my eyes and tell me that’s a straight sentence from a heterosexual man??????????
It’s established that Sebastian was going to be bisexual, but that the devs decided he was only to be romancable by Female Hawke due to him being in the Chantry. 
Thus another thing Sebastian is forced to hide about himself.
Sebastian’s interactions with Elthina often leave him sad, distressed, and confused. It’s these moments that often make him question himself more than any other time. He expresses regret after acting out of anger fueled impulse and questions if it was the right thing to do, but after Elthina berates him, he’s more likely to question his own thoughts and personality as it relates to her and their shared faith. She has whittled away at his self worth that he actively talks about how his behavior, no matter how justified, isn’t appropriate.
And this all STILL doesn’t even talk about the issues he must have had as the youngest of three in a royal family. His parents had their heir and their spare, where did that leave him? He never mentions his parents much, only his grandpa, and even directly brings up the heir and spare thing. I’m willing to bet Sebastian was an oopsie baby; an unexpected third child in the family and due to him not fitting into the heir/spare dynamic, his parents focused on their older sons, ensuring they got attention and proper ruling education. This would leave Sebastian to be raised by servants and taught by his grandfather, I also find it possible that Sebastian may have had a decent age gap between himself and his siblings, thus further isolating him from his family. In fact, that could explain why he’s so accepting of others in the Kirkwall gang ragging on him. It’s interaction and attention.
This could also explain the copious amounts of sex and partying that lead to him getting tossed into the Chantry. He got attention from his bed mates and fellow partiers, and eventually it got his parents to pay attention to him. Though it inevitably backfired on him, as they tossed him away to forget about.
TL;DR: Sebastian Vael was likely neglected emotionally and has suffered from Chantry brainwashing and never realized. He’s not boring, most just find him irritating due to their own issues with religion and don’t look at what his backstory truly is.
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🥺archer emiya
favorite thing about them
incredibly funny how w so many characters that have been released he still consistently makes like top four on reddit popularity polls every time. ik thats a nothing fact compared to what i could go with but its very iconic of him tbh
least favorite thing about them
smug bicnh. ok stupid comment aside his np/reality marble line always drives me a little batty bc it feels grammatically incorrect but whenever i actually look at it i cant figure out in what way. grrrr
also its wack that one of his secret gardens in ccc is locked if you play as the male mc. youre really trying to tell me this man isnt bisexual?
also all his bg stuff and outfits related to it implies he probably contributed to the instability somewhere in western asia as a mercenary. :/
favorite line
'i am the bone of my sword' kinda suggestive innit it. what are you trying to say
im sorry i wish i could give you a more indepth examination but ive barely gotten through the fate route and the ccc playthrough i watched was gilgamesh so i dont know much about him outside of his more chill fgo side
brOTP
really funny how he and cu chullain are cosmically fated to consistently annoy the shit out of each other
i also like him and saber being friends :)
OTP
cognitive behavioral therapy. also dont dislike stuff like yariyumi tbh
nOTP
rin. that was like the girl he had a crush on when he was a highschooler and when he sees her still a highschooler hes like 'damn past me was stupid as shit shes like 8 or whatever' (he has forgotten past him was also a highschooler)
random headcanon
true good end is where he quits the counterforce and gets really into decorative patisserie work/j
unpopular opinion
shipping him w pseudoservants like ishtar and parvati just bc of who their host bodies are is disrespectful to the characters of like shirou, emiya, the goddesses, AND the original fsn girls in question. like for god's sakes just go write fsn fanfic since clearly thats what you want to be working with. he doesnt even really care for them the same way shirou does he was more like an au adult version of shirou who had mostly forgotten what the girls he went to highschool with were like anyway and has way less attachment to them as a result. he might be friendly to them bc of the grail war connection but i really doubt he'd want to date them even if they were receptive (and lbr, neither rin nor sakura nor saber ever seemed to be attracted to archer specifically)
song i associate with them
youtube
physically struggling not to just put last stardust here. this is actually a counterforce song i think
favorite picture of them
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hate him so much <3
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gemsofthegalaxy · 7 months
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tbh i agree with Sarah Z
. acting like no celebrity Could be queerbaiting when their public image is a carefully crafted by a marketing team is like.... silly. it is fully possible that someone who is straight and cis and does not personally feel a connection to an ambiguous or otherwise queer aesthetic might still dress like that or make queer-seeming media etc, in order to get the queer audience dollars
but, ultimately, it's not worth it to try to snoop and speculate and drag people through the mud for not "coming out" or forcing them out of the closet, because that is a very shitty thing to do, and people don't deserve for it to happen to them.
thinking specifically of Becky Albertalli and queer creators, i do think it's challenging when it comes to trying to critique a depiction of queerness by taking the author's own sexuality and intent into account. because, well, looking into authorial intent and the circumstances around someone's writing is not an unfair thing to do. to compare it to something that may be similar, like. if a white person from California is writing about/from the perspective of a black person from the south, personally i think it might be worthwhile or at least relevant to know that the author is white and from California when evaluating how you feel, or how well you think the author did with their subject matter. it is NOT to say the white person from California shouldn't have touched the topic with a ten foot pole, they very well may have done an excellent job with their story, but those details are still relevant when it comes to understanding the text in some ways. maybe.
i don't disagree that it gets heated and nasty, though, because it did when it came to Albertalli's work, she was lambasted as a straight writer catering to a straight audience with a gay love story. but she isn't straight. and, well, she's still not a gay man, but... believe it or not, even queer people can write queer media that some queer people hate (lol)
tangent: i fucking haaateed the movie The Kids Are All Right and low and behold, one of the directors was a whole lesbian. i was surprised! it seemed like such a fucking shitty and annoying depiction of a lesbian couple (including scenes where a lesbian who proclaims she's exclusively a lesbian sleeps with a man several times. no mention of the notion she might be bisexual. the lesbians also watch gay male porn which i guess was supposed to be transgressive and showing that sexuality was complex, but to me it was so eye-roll worthy like what's wrong with showing women who are... into women? sorry im getting off track. maybe there are lesbians who love this movie. im bisexual so /shrug)
anyway. unfortunately, being queer does not mean you will tell an amazing queer story. and knowing an author is queer does not mean you have to like the way queerness was used in the story even if you think it was bad. but, still, i am usually more likely to at least be lighter with criticism if i know the author depicting the story is of the same community or has lived experience, even if i still dislike the overall depiction. maybe that unfairly absolves them of a shitty story, idk. btw this isnt to say Simon vs the Homo Sapiens was bad, it was, like, fine tbh. some of the plot points annoyed me, but that's common in YA novels by now. one of my advisors who is a gay man really loved it so that also made me like it more bc it was cute seeing how much he enjoyed it (ironically, lol)
not sure where i was going with this anymore. but it's an interesting, challenging topic to address "real people queerbaiting". ultimately i think it CAN be done, by celebrities who are crafting an image to market to fans, but that it's not worth the harm of pushing people out of the closet to try to "stop" the "problem" from occuring.
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softartemisart · 7 months
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welcome!
call me artemis, or art for short!
he/him - 19 - white - nonbinary trans man - aroace and bisexual - disabled - pretty kinky
this is an 18+ zone! DNI if you are a minor - if you do not have your age in your bio i may block you
this is my kink posting blog. thoughts, writing, art, whatever i want. main blog + reblog acc is @softartemis.
kinks im into (probably non-exhaustive list):
feedism, weight gain (rapid or slow, natural or magical), stuffing, bloating, belly play, tight / outgrown clothes
kind of / sometimes into inflation, hucow + lactation, monsterfucking, praise, humiliation, intox (mostly alcohol)
kinks im NOT into:
death feedism, detrans kink, slob, scat, ddlg, pregnancy. i dont really care if you follow me and are into these things, but it's not my cup of tea. (im not into a lot of other stuff but these are common around this corner of tumblr so they're the most relevant).
i'm iffy on immobility, health stuff, and more extreme degredation. sometimes fun, often isnt!
Boundaries + Misc:
DNI IF: you are underage, post underage stuff, post creepshots of real people or stolen images, are transmed/truscum or r generally exclusionary. (also general no racists/homophobes/transphobes/ableists, etc., but that goes without saying lol)
if you are significantly older than me then feel free to interact, but please be mindful and not weird, please.
i'll also just block you if you make me uncomfortable generally
i cant guarantee that i will always be active or online (mostly just when i am horny lmao). i am also terribly awkward and social anxious, so responding to DMs and asks can be difficult for me (i'll try though). i have this account mostly for good kinky fun, and content creation + interaction isnt an obligation for me
i am not looking for a partner or a feeder/feedee. dont ask.
these tumblr blogs are my only kink accounts, im not on other platforms. dont ask what my non-kink accounts are on anything, i either dont have them / wont tell you.
feel free to send me asks of your fantasies or ideas (if they're something i might also be into)! you can send requests if you like but i offer no promises
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➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      
Chapter 4 - Christmas Feelings. Episode 1.
Evan: *Over the next couple of days, it became harder and harder to deny I wanted to kiss him. I kept smiling goofily everytime I looked myself in the mirror. But at the same time, I had this stinging denial in the back of my head, trying its very best to cover up the butterflies in my stomach. I was afraid. I had so many questions racing my worried mind. Why was I longing for kisses from my best friend, a man? Why did I ask him to kiss me? Did this mean I was in love with him? Did this mean I was gay? Or at least bisexual? Was I gonna discover just like Andy did, that I had had a whole other sexuality all along, but had just been fooling myself? Or was this all just lusting? A craving to be touched by someone? Anyone… Furthermore a few other questions started poking my brain. Was he in love with me, and if so for how long? Or was this just Andy as always wanting to stick his dick into anything? Yes, I know that makes him sound bad, and most of hs one night stands might agree he is bad. But truth to be told, he isnt. At all. He is always fair and honest when it comes to sex, never leading anyone to belive they will get more than sex. He has just… been around a lot. But then again, he used to be the lead singer of a platinum selling band, the same band I was in.. well and Daniel too for that matter, including a 4th member Thomas, whom we havent been introduced to yet. Point is, when you are famous and travel a lot, offers tends to happen, a lot. Andy just took what was offered. As we got closer and closer to Christmas eve, things got more and more tense between us, specially when we were alone. The few times that is, cause I tried my best to only be "alone" with him when people were just in the next room. My security of nothing more happening between us, I guess, at least not more than the occasionaly kisses we shared. He would suddenly grab me from behind a closet, yank me into a shadow and kiss me passionately for a brief moment, then let me go before anyone could find us. Or once in a while he would simply plant a small butterfly kiss on my shoulder or one of my hands…. wrists… maybe even my cheek. I think it was his way of letting me know he was still there… available for me. He wanted me, no doubt about it. But I couldnt figure out in which way that was. And I wasnt going to be just another conquest for him. Just another nodge in his bed post so to speak. I wasnt available for a one night stand, specially not with my best friend. I wasnt going to ruin almost 15 years of relationship purely because of sexual needs. On the 23rd he dragged me aside and asked me to go for a walk with him. Alone. My heart was pounding so fast I thought it was going to explode, but I knew it was now or never. I had to tell him once and for all I wasnt up for any fling with him. There wasnt gonna be any one night stand. I think we had walked for about 15 minutes before he fnally stopped between some trees, turned to me and placed his hands on my cheeks. As we have the same height, we stood eyes to eyes, close, I could once again feel his hot breath as he spoke in a lowered soft voice.
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1990jeevas · 3 years
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Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!
okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo
disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited
tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops
going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!
so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!
so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.
now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.
speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.
moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"
so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:
Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.
Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously
Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him
Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away
Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else
when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.
whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo
generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.
also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.
edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!
now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]
so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!
um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:
cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him
paints nails various different colors
the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc
gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)
comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)
moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.
so, let's start with good things!
i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol
mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.
that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,
namely:
dizzee and thors first kiss
the lack of development this pairing got
the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders
the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not
dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????
now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.
so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????
also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it
so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.
the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)
and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.
during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.
so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol
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tigerdrop · 3 years
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Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship
okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*
(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)
first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.
but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit
but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.
lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.
(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)
the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.
(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)
all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.
and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.
its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.
(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)
the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.
how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are
i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.
a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.
sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.
i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.
it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.
but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former
because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.
can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO
after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk
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artreider · 3 years
Text
Station 19 returns in a little over 2 weeks so im going to try to finish my rewatch this week.
Im doing todays rewatch while my daughter plays we'll see if i can work this out.
This is one one of my favorite episodes but im liable to cry watching it again.
Ugh dixon why cant we have lost him this season.
I love the family talks between the crew to start the episode and jack with his seemingly random trivia/information that he just feels like educating his team about.
Poor vic you can see how much she is struggling as the news is on and her crew discusses protesting and police brutality.
I love what Montgomery says that things felt different right after george floyd and breonna taylor were killed, like something was going to change. But now a year plus out i cant help but feel like nothing is really changing, like we all forgot what we saw.
I do love their shirts.
Oh maya trying to navigate being there for her team, doing whats right and whats expected of her. I don't envy her. Also its all in vain and she came so far and is the best captain.
Hughes wanting to change the subject and celebrate marina's engagement, i love her but my heart hurts for her. I also love the support for maya from her team.
I know some fans take issue with vic calling it a lesbian wedding but im onebof those who isnt. That comes from a bisexual woman married to a bisexual woman who normally just tells people she is gay or a lesbian because ita simpler. And also because you can sometimes avoid the inevitable question of why did i choose a woman instead of a man.
I love the i could barely agree to get carina to marriage line and i dont know why.
There's hererra eating away lol; either they just had fun messing with fans or really planned the long game pregnancy. Is it possible we'll see glimpses of her pregnancy in flashbacks this season and then she'll have a baby in present day. This could've been their way of getting around having to film a pregnancy over the course of a season and keeping andy in the action. Hmmm
Vic and travis, i love them. Im glad travis trying to get vic to open up. I just want to hug vic so much, i cant imagine what she's going through.
Barrett kills this episode.
Bishop is right, vic cant be objective she needs to foucs on her family and trust her team.
I love watching maya captain.
Asshole kids.
Vic talking about her team is love. In light of the following episode i wish we could've had them all be introduced to her folks on screen. Also i need fics of how the wedding came to be at the restuarant and just marina month apart after becoming engaged.
Ugh between the popo and news its like vultures outside the fire. Also the portrayal of the news pisses me off as a news producer. Thats not to say some news stations may have agendas or some reporters an inability to seperate themselves from the story but in my experience that is few and far between.
"Fire" "whatever your question is the answer is fire and we are working to put it out" ugh i love the bde and quote from maya. And the "buhbye" so much love here.
These officers are out of line, if you cant do your job properly then hand in your badge you pos. Love the female officer here, ill take more of her. Clearly she has no issue with the station or the lawsuit.
Im glad dean listened to maya and didnt question her. I also just realized she said "ill deal with pd", such a good captain putting herself between the pos and her team.
As maya watches vic and her family you can just see her heart going out to them.
Ugh vic you need all the hugs, also mama hughes is so stubborn lol but i love her.
I love them ribbing on andy about eating and her choice of food as well as her loud stomach rumbles.
Too much bad news delivered by emails/texts to the team.
Its not fair the team seems upset with maya about the city's decision.
Perv andy lol also totally pregnant. Also the look she gave sullivan when they were on their way to the fire just screamed i know im pregnant and love my baby daddy.
Theo means well and im glad travis is letting him help.
Sometimes moms say things and mean well but they just dont come across right.
Stupid news reporter.
I love this scene and mama hughes. "Let it burn" so succinct. She is an icon. The recitement of the names never fails to bring tears to my eyes.
That her parents know the names rings differently for vic, its like she feels seen amd that maybe they werent as unaware as they came across.
Jack seems so lost and is just trying to understand the world and himself. I just want him to find his purpose and happiness. I swear it just seems like he'll be the next person killed off after finding his happiness.
I love the boards dedicated to vic, just goes to show sometimes parents care more than they seem and are just not good at showing it. They are so proud of her.
Them both telling just a second made me chuckle so much.
The apology may not bring back michael but its important none the less.
Im glad maya checked on dean. And the solution they came up with. Side note danielle looks so good in this scene, i may have a crush.
Fhe breath she takes when he stops her from leaving, it hurts me. I take it as she is bracing herself for the worst especially when he says he doesnt want to be disrespectful. Its still hard for her to believe she has the teams unwavering support. I love dean telling maya to have a wedding for her station.
The breaking the plates scene i love it. Love the conversations between vic and her mom.
The breaking of the plates, such love.
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somefandomimagines · 3 years
Note
Hi! Im not sure if matchup request are still open but if it is here's my entry :))
Id like one for death note and/ or dsmp, but if you onky do one fandom per request, death note is k for me!
Im pretty tall (5'7) with smooth shoulder length black hair and dark brown eyes, slightly curvy and a bit tan. Im bisexual and my pronouns are she /her & they/them. I do not jave any triggers or disabilities, as far as i know just social anxiety because im insecure and self-loathing. Im known to be kind,sympathetic, responsible( well yes i very much like to take control if thats what they mean), thoughtful, approachable and optimistic. But i can be stubborn, indecisive, insecure abt myself.
im fond of music(classics to rock its pretty diverse.. Ithink) aside from horror, thriller and comedy. Also im trying to learn how to play the ukulele and the piano 😤🖐️. Im always up for science and anything connected to literature. Just dont... Pls keep math away from me, i beg you dont jusy dont.
Im sorry if this was very long, i got carried away teehee~ but yep tysm i hope you have a great day :)))
YOOO SO UM- HI GUYS IM ALIVE AGAIN? AFTER SO FUCKIN LONG! LMAO! But sorry for such a late response to this, I kinda lost interest in tumblr for a while so I'm gonna try and be more active!! For Death Note I'd match you up with.... MELLO! - You would kinda just join his gang one day, no one knows how it happened but he was drawn to ya - You'd quickly make your way up the ranks, your good leadership shining through!! - It also didn't take long for you and Mello to get surprisingly close! - Obviously he wasn't at the point he'd tell you anything personal, but you'd hang out with him and Matt! - You guys were comfortable to the point you'd both sit around quietly with rock music playing as Matt played his games - But one day Mello noticed you were more... I dunno, lifeless - Matt was out doing his own shit, so Mello scooted over to you on the couch and roughly put a hand on your shoulder - This would scare the fuck out of you, but you'd calm down once you saw Mello's face... Even if he was basically giving you a death glare - He'd simply ask what's wrong, no context or nothin' - You could tell he wouldn't take any bs... But that he also DID care - So you kinda just opened up to him about your anxiety and the things you were stressing about - This man took it seriously, listening to every word - He noticed at some point you were getting REALLY emotional... And Mello? He ain't good with that - He didn't know how to respond except to quietly listen, but when you were about to cry you quite literally had a piece of chocolate stuffed in your mouth - It definitely did calm you down a bit, especially when you looked at Mello and... His gaze was just so soft - At least softer than you've ever seen it - Serious but in a caring way - And since then you two got closer... He'd even just casually let you steal a chunk off his chocolate at some point - Matt wasn't happy abt that, he wanted chocolate too - BUT THEN - The main area of your guys' hangout got stormed - Bullets were flying everywhere and Mello didn't know where you were - He'd first think about killing the motherfuckers that got there but... He needed to know if you were ok - At this point he opened up to you even the littlest bit - And he cared so much about you - You were different than anyone he's ever known, he didn't know what these feelings were - Jk, he's a genius ofc he knew- but he wasn't used to them - When he found you holding yourself up, being all badass but barely holding yourself against the bad guys - He didn't think twice to help out - After the entire situation, he just held you close and muttered smth about how worried he was - You just... quietly held him back, which was exactly what he needed at the time - He realized how much you grounded him - When you guys started dating, he didn't even tell anyone - You didn't either, you guys would just casually sit really close on the couch - Matt damn well knew, but when Mello ONE DAY kissed your head, Matt knew that Mello would give the world for you - That head kiss took you so off guard - Mello isn't into PDA, but that? In front of Matt? WILD - You guys don't even need to tell each other words at some point, you guys just know what the other is thinking - You're sitting on a couch and Mello taps your shoulder without looking at you? You knew he wanted the TV remote to turn that shit off since Matt was raging - Anyways, you two have such a weird dynamic - Btw... Btw... When you two are alone Matt let's you rest your head on his shoulder and he'll wrap an arm around you - It's rare that you two get much alone time since you guys are so damn buisy - Also... kisses taste like chocolate THIS ISNT MUCH BUT IM LIKE- GOING BRR RN SO HERE YOU GO!
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fleshblueberry · 3 years
Note
Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored
Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality
I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-
When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)
Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.
now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-
Jam out!
... I don't even know what to say to this
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thoriffix · 4 years
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Can you rec some media with canon queer characters 😌
ofc!! thisll by no means be an exhaustive list but idk what youre looking for specifically so ill break it into categories
my current favs!! if u follow me u know these already lol
the umbrella academy: netflix show abt dysfunctional superpowered siblings reuniting to stop the apocalypse. canon mlm character (pansexual according to his actor) w mlm romance, canon wlw character (lesbian according to someone on the show dont rmr who) w het romance in s1, wlw romance in s2 - this is one of my absolute fav shows at the minute in general its brilliant
the magnus archives: horror podcast abt the head archivist of an institute researching experiences w the supernatural. protagonist is canonically biromantic asexual, in a mlm relationship in s5, and there is another canon bisexual character, as well as (iirc) a canon wlw couple - yall know ive been so into tma lately its so so good, obviously if you dont like horror its not for you but if you do.. 👀
sanders sides: youtube series abt a gay dude working out his emotional problems via personified aspects of his personality. all the characters are gay cuz thas what thomas is baby! - i was hesitant abt putting this cuz thomas is a person not a character lol but if u haven't seen sasi i recommend it its like free therapy but theres songs sometimes
shows!
julie and the phantoms (netflix remake): musical show abt a teen girl rediscovering music after her mothers death w the help of three ghosts who were in a 90s band. canon gay character w a slow burn romance (not yet canon bfs but s2 lets go) - its very cheesy and the musical segments can drag on a bit but its p good overall
lucifer: detective show abt lucifer abandoning his rule of hell to buy a nightclub and beginning to solve murders w the lapd. lucifer is canonically bi/pan, as is his demon pal mazikeen, but queerness rly isnt a focus of the show its more casual rep - that being said its a good show overall, if a little predictable now n then (s1-3 on amazon prime, 4+5 on netflix)
kipo and the age of wonderbeasts: fantasy cartoon set in a future filled w mutant intelligent animals, kipo finds herself lost and has to get home w the help of her friends. canon gay character as one of the mains, canon nb side character - its a rly good cartoon! lots of fun, excellent soundtrack, and the main characters are all poc which is rly nice to see
the dragon prince: cartoon abt two princes and an elf assassin returning a dragon egg to its mother. canon mlm couple, several canon wlw characters, canon nb character - i havent seen the show myself but ive heard very good things abt it!
i am not okay with this: netflix show abt a teen girl discovering she has superpowers and hating it. protag is canon wlw (i THINK shes a lesbian but i havent watched it in a hot sec), developing wlw relationship - ianowt slaps! sad that s2 got cancelled but s1 is real good its a touch spooky and theres a bit of gore/blood so watch out lol
schitt's creek: sitcom abt a rich family who lose all their money and have to move into the motel of a town they bought as a joke. canon pansexual character and canon gay character w one of the sweetest mlm relationships - a rly good witty show w excellent character development for every character!
good omens: show abt a demon and an angel trying to stop the end of the world. every celestial character in it is nonbinary, + crowley and aziraphale have a nonexplicit (ie no on screen pda lol) romance - good omens is such a good queer show none of the characters care abt gender in the slightest lmao, plus the show in general is fantastic (the book is also very good)
movies!
the old guard: a group of immortals fight an organisation that wants to capitalise off their immortality. canon mlm couple - another one i havent seen yet (i will!) but apparently very good
it chapter 2: horror sequel to It, w the main characters returning to derry to defeat pennywise for good. canon gay character in unrequited love - i only say chapter 2 because his queerness isnt referenced at all in the first film, again its big horror and theres no gay romance just gay tragedy but its a good film
love, simon: romcom about a closeted gay teen falling in love w someone over emails. do i even need to state the rep? - honestly if u haven't seen love simon yet what are you even DOING its so good proper fluffy queer romcom, the book (simon vs the homosapiens agenda) is also really good!! so is the sequel (leah on the offbeat) where the protag is a bi girl + it focuses on a wlw romance
the way he looks: brazilian coming of age film abt a blind teen boy falling for the new kid at his school. canon mlm relationship - this doesnt seem to be on (british) netflix anymore so idk where youd find it with subtitles but i rmr liking it a lot!
games!
night in the woods: 2d platformer abt a young woman (well. cat) dropping out of college and coming home to live w her parents + discovering spooky happenings in her hometown. canon mlm couple and i believe the protag is canonically bi? - i will recommend nitw to literally anyone who will listen its one of my all time favourite games, deals w a lot of mental health issues and its absolutely gorgeous w a brilliant soundtrack and rly good dialogue thats witty and serious and realistic (its on steam + switch for sure dk abt other platforms, abt 15 quid i think?)
tell me why: adventure game abt twins returning to their childhood home + findin Secrets. canon trans male character - i havent got around to buying + playing this yet but it looks really good! (its in three chapters + on steam, not sure on price)
other media!
the art of being normal: slice of life novel abt a young trans girl discovering herself. main characters are a trans man and a trans woman. - a good novel! trigger warning for transphobic actions including descriptions of a transphobic attack on the guy, and its certainly not without its faults otherwise, but i thought it was pretty good
the adventure zone: dungeons and dragons podcast by the mcelroy brothers. idk specifics but theres a lot of canon queer characters in it! - i havent listened to taz yet but i know a lot abt it, inc that its good and funny and has plenty of queer rep
theres several more i like that arent listed here but to keep this from getting just ridiculously long ill leave it there :] tried to get a range of genres and medias, hopefully theres something for you in there!
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makotoscoffee · 3 years
Text
some thoughts
I don’t want to point fingers or be mean to anyone but please grepre fandom I am BEGGING you to stop being SO in mlm’s business. Occasionally I have come across fujoshis, I just block them, and most of you don’t interact with them as far as I know (which is good!) but it’s still concerning that they’re present. 
1. As a gay person, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable when people talk about things like sexual position headcanons etcetera just like that so casually and explicitly. It GENUINELY sends me into a full body cringe and I feel bad. there's a time and place for everything, and this isnt 100% bad, but sometimes its so blatantly obvious whether someone is interested in the characters or just interested in being crass.
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2. Makoto is often made out to be extremely feminine, and while it’s okay to have headcanons obviously I feel like some of it is very out of character and only serves to make him “Laurent’s tiny submissive effeminate younger Asian boyfriend.” 
3. If Makoto is gay, he is a twink. Yes this is about a specific post but again I am trying to educate, not hate. The definition of a twink is a young, slender, hairless, often boy-ish looking gay man. That pretty much sums up Makoto’s looks. It is a term for and by gay men. 
A “himbo” started as a meme trying to find the male equivalent to a bimbo (misogynist idea of a dumb ditzy hot woman that women and girls have started reclaiming as a beautiful kind and emotionally intelligent woman.) George of the Jungle is considered the posterboy for himbos, they must be 1. beefy/muscular and dashingly handsome 2. Respect women, usually out of a lack of intelligence 3. Dumb and kind. I AM NOT IN ANY WAY ACCUSING SOMEONE OF RACISM, BUT THERE IS A TENDENCY ACROSS ALL FANDOM CULTURE TO MISCATEGORIZE POC AND DARKERSKINNED CHARACTERS AS HIMBOS. Here is an example: https://twitter.com/kurog3c/status/1348779792049569793?s=20 
4. PLEASE DO NOT CALL EDAURENT OR ANY MLM SHIP A YAOI SHIP IT IS OUTDATED AND HOMOPHOBIC do not tag your fanfics or ship art with the term, mlm are begging people to stop using it and as a gay person it makes me ucomfortable too
5. None of my mutuals are guilty of this but occasionally I will see a post from someone who just finished great pretender saying that it queerbaits. This is literally just factually wrong, nothing in great pretender fits the quota for queerbaiting and Laurent is even canonically bisexual. I personally think grepre is one of the greatest crime shows of all time and romance very much comes (not even second) it comes like FOURTH in line. Here is a great post from @shirodevorak​ about it https://shirodevorak.tumblr.com/post/639298838403874816/today-im-thinking-about-the-biphobia-surrounding and some examples
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and ofc you know my thoughts:
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I am writing this out of love because seriously you guys mean so much to me and this fandom is so sweet I just want to protect it and keep it healthy you know? If you EVER feel I am being hypocritical, please! tell me! let’s talk it out and discuss it maturely :)
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CHARACTER INTRO || Hyrene Braeden Writeblr Masterlist
Quick Facts:
Story | Wretches and Kings Age | She’ll tell you 28, but who’s to say Gender | Female Sexuality | Bisexual Occupation | Thief, gang member Face Claim | TBD Hogwarts House | Gryffindor MBTI | ESFJ
Physical Appearance:
Hyrene is beautiful the way the lioness is beautiful. Lovely the way the wolf is lovely. With blood dripping from her teeth, abundance of silver scars a stark contrast against the strange golden glow she seems to radiate, her smile promises vengeance.
Hyrene is of average height and build, though she possesses an uncanny ability to get in and out of the hidden places of the city without so much as a whisper. Urban legends speak of shadows in the back alleys of Easthold so thick they’ve taken on a life of their own. Legends claim there are people who have gained favor with these shadows - people who can bend and command them to their will. Whenever anyone on the crew asks Hyrene if she’s one of them, she laughs it off and flicks her long, golden hair over one shoulder, winks, her green eyes freezing them in place. Where did you hear something so absurd? she beams that vengeful smile, I’m in command of only one thing: myself.
Hyrene looks after her appearance meticulously. Though her body is covered with scars, she wears them with pride, and she doesn’t try to hide them. When she dresses up, does her makeup, grooms herself for any event, she’s not afraid to show them off. When she does wear makeup, one might assume she does it in a way to call attention to them.
Be careful when Hyrene smiles at you. She may not be smiling. She may be baring her teeth, green eyes judging you for unspoken crimes, and promising justice.
Background
Hyrene is not imbued with an otherworldly kind of power. Her power is hers and hers alone - and the knowledge that she is beloved by beings not entirely of this world. What more is there to want, or take? She got her start as a thief on the streets on Easthold. Her ability to navigate the back alleys so well that she may as well have been vanishing and popping up somewhere different entirely was what got Marlene’s attention.
When Marlene first approached her about joining her crew, Hyrene laughed it off and walked away. Something about a crew she used to work with not working out. It wasn’t until Marlene said the word revenge that she got Hyrene to stick around for a conversation longer than five minutes. Hyrene’s been around ever since. She protects the other members of her new crew as if they were her own. She didn’t earn the title Lioness for nothing, after all.
For all her quick temper and flippant attitude, Hyrene can be utterly pedantic about checking and rechecking the timers on bombs, which honestly isn’t an awful trait. What’s odd is the way Hyrene gets angry about it sometimes, storms about the penthouse yanking out every last alarm clock, the way she swears she can still hear something ticking with furious intention, like the last seconds of a countdown.
Blurb:
I bet it makes you feel powerful.
The words had rang through Hyrene’s head since she woke up an hour ago, when the sky was still dark and the city still bustling far below. Satisfaction still thrumming through her, there still remained a part that felt deeply unsettled by the implication of what Terrance had meant by that statement.
She already was powerful. She was Hyrene Braeden, beloved by beings that were not entirely of this world. What more was there to desire - or take?
A lot, according to the man who called himself Terrance Phoenix.
As she’d tossed and turned, chilled to the bone despite his warmth and the down comforter that did more than a satisfactory job of reflecting their body heat back to them.
I bet it makes you feel powerful.
It started as a low hum in the back of her mind, growing with her increasing restlessness until it became a veritable roar inside of her own skull. She’d even covered her head with a pillow, but that only seemed to act as an echo chamber, worsening the repeated mantra. So she’d ripped it off and chucked it across the room.
It was a wonder that Terrance hadn’t woken up through it all.
I bet it makes you feel powerful.
In the back of her mind, Hyrene believed she knew exactly what he was talking about.
The more important question was if she believed she was ready to do it.
That was the new question buzzing through her mind as she’d gotten out of bed, hunted through her dark room for some clothes, then snuck through the dark penthouse and out into the city.
Am I ready for this?
Taglist:
@firefeatherx @goldenhour-goldenboy @mandoplease @mylifeliterally @phoenixhalliwell @havenforafrazzledmind @living-reminder @beatriz-silva-00 @pascalz @worldominatorx @givemethatgold @agirllovespancakes @lilacyennefer @dignityneeded @veuliee @briskywalker @davairys @aetherwrites @ryns-ramblings @teriwrites @wishing4wishes @isnt-it-byronic-dont-you-think (let me know if you want to be +/-)
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Destiel Trope Collection Day 25: Slow Burn
The difference between living and existing (WIP) | @lucy-is-alive
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6052 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester's A+ parenting, College AU, Sexuality crisis, PTSD, Childhood trauma, Recreational drug use, Angst and hurt/comfort Summary: As soon as he got the chance, Dean left his father behind and went to college. However, he never anticipated that the absence of the person who had disrupted his entire life would make it worse. With the help of his friends, he tries to navigate through the emotional hurricane that comes with complex PTSD.
Celestial | @deservetobesaved
Rating: Mature Word Count: 10585 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, emotional affair, bottom!dean Summary: Dean is in a less than stellar marriage, but he assumes things will work themselves out. At the same time, Mr. Castiel Novak becomes his new co-worker at school and Dean has to rethink everything he thought he had figured out.
Welcome to the Badlands (WIP) | @cr-noble-writes
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15386 Main Tags/Warnings: graphic violence, dystopian au, fusion, into the badlands au, slow burn Summary: The wars were so long ago, nobody even remembers. Darkness and fear ruled until the time of the Barons, seven men and women who forged order out of the chaos. People flocked to them for protection. That protection became servitude. They banished guns and trained armies of lethal fighters they called Clippers. This world is built on blood. Nobody is innocent here. Welcome to the Badlands.
Profound Kisses | @verobatto-angelxhunter
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20700 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, post 8x07 canon divergent, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, angst with a happy ending, clueless! Castiel, pining!Dean, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas, slow burn, love confessions, first kiss, french kiss, Sammy knows. Summary: Dean knows he's screwed. He discovers he is in love with Castiel in Purgatory, and now he can't even have the angel in front of him, because he knows it's a one sided love. It’s Valentine's day and Dean tries very hard to hook up as always, but he can't get Cas out of his mind. So he drives back to the motel, drunk, and he finds Castiel trying to help him. Then, when Dean asks Castiel for some experimental kisses and the angel accepts, Dean starts a very dangerous game… finding in Castiel's kisses the most delicious experiences, but also, his own perdition. Will Castiel fall in love with him? Or will he stay emotionless as always?
Hate me, but love me too | @notfunnydean
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23310 Main Tags/Warnings: Virgin!Dean,f hate spell, hate curse, younger!dean, older!sam, Grace Sharing, First Kiss, First Time, Hate Sex, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent, Cas is cursed, (not really MCD but Cas isn't alive in the beginning), Castiel has sex with somebody else in the beginning(and Dean sees it), Heartbreakbut I will fix it! Summary: Dean’s whole life changes when his mother tells him that John isn’t his biological father and he needs to save the world from his sibling Adam, who is the King of Hell. But he can’t do that alone, he needs the best Hunter earth had, Castiel Novak.
Starstruck (WIP) | @peanutbutterjelly-pie
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40860 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Slow Burn, Actor Dean, Single Parent Castiel, Pining Summary: From the outside Castiel Novak looks like a regular guy: a good job, two teenage kids, a nice house and a crappy car he’s way too attached to. But there’s one thing no one knows about him: that, over twenty years ago, he used to live next to no other than Dean Winchester – back then a brash and loud-mouthed boy and nowadays a huge movie star and Hollywood’s sweetheart. Castiel never bothered to tell anyone about his childhood friend because frankly, who would believe him? Probably even Dean himself already forgot about his former awkward and weird neighbor, so Castiel seriously doesn’t see any point in mentioning the whole thing ever. But then an interview on national TV happens where Dean reveals way more about his past than ever before … and Castiel - as well as the rest of the world - suddenly realizes that he left a much bigger impact on Dean’s life than he originally thought.
Letter to Dean Winchester (WIP) | @castielsangel-blade
Rating: Mature Word Count: 44182 Main Tags/Warnings: Past Lisa/Dean, Past Aaron/Dean, Past Castiel/Dean, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Mentions of Past Cheating, Mentions of Past Toxic Relationship, Gray Romantic Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Epistolary, Bisexual Dean Summary: Castiel writes and sends a letter to Dean Winchester. He wants closure for the toxic relationship they had in high school.
Falling Apart | @cr-noble-writes
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 49204 Main Tags/Warnings: minor character death, sam deceased when fic starts, alcoholism, drug misuse, addiction, rehab au, soulmate au, flashbacks, ptsd Summary: Sword & Cross Resident Rehabilitation is a last-ditch effort for Dean Winchester to move past the drug and drinking problems he developed to bury his guilt over the fire that killed his brother. Not to mention the wild visions and smoky, sentient shadows that have plagued him his entire life. It's supposed to be the best Savannah has to offer, but one look at the crumbling tile floors and dangling crown mouldings, and Dean has his doubts. Enter Castiel Novak. He’s rude, aloof, and a total dick from the moment they lay eyes on each other but Dean can’t help but feel a mysterious connection to the man. Maybe he really has lost his mind. But when Castiel starts making appearances in Dean’s vivid visions of the past, he knows there is more to their link than meets the eye. Even if Cas keeps telling him otherwise. It seems everyone at Sword & Cross knows what’s going on except for Dean. Trying to conquer his mountain of guilt and doubt and figure out the connection he is certain he shares with Castiel is only made harder by the “accidents” that seem to follow him. Not to mention his attraction to Gadreel. Whatever secret Castiel is trying so hard to keep, Dean knows he has to uncover it.
Will you be my ten inch hero? | @notfunnydean
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 57468 Main Tags/Warnings: Bullying, Homophobic Language, Abusive John Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, giving a baby to adoption (not between Destiel), Rape/Non-con Elements, John kicked Dean out, Virgin!Dean, surprise guest appereance, Minor Crowley (Supernatural)/Bobby Singer, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Gabriel, two surprise pairings, not Ketch or Mick Davies friendly Summary: When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?
Roll With It | @saltnhalo
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 72818 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Boss/Employee Relationship, Secretary Dean, Alternate Universe - Not Hunters, The Proposal AU, Alternate Universe, Romantic Comedy, Romance, Editor Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Sam Winchester at Stanford, POV Alternating, Geek Dean, Russian Castiel, Sharing a Bed, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Misunderstandings, Tattooed Castiel, Love Confessions, Slow Burn Summary: For two years, Dean’s been slaving away beneath his boss – many label him a secretary, but he fucking hates that and feels like it only applies to someone wearing a pencil skirt, so he insists on his title of Executive Assistant. And for what? In the vain hope that one day he’ll manage to become an editor for Sandover Publishing, and that he’ll see the manuscript that he’s slaved over since college finally realized in print. That’s the dream, anyway. Right now, he’s fucking late. Dean wants to be an editor. Castiel just wants to stay in the country. ‘The Proposal’ – as you’ve never seen it before.
When the Magnolias bloom (WIP) | @flurryflair
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 92951 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, human!Castiel, divorce, infidelity, middle aged destiel, explicit sexual content, top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, top Dean Winchester/bottom Castiel, POV alternating, unresolved sexual tension, denial of feelings, porn with feelings, anxiety attacks, manipulative relationship, unhealthy coping mechanisms, canon-typical violence, case fic, bisexual!Dean, demisexual!Castiel, semi-canon, minor Castiel/OMC, minor Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden Summary: It's been ten years since the Apocalypse. Ten years without talking, without knowing one another. Castiel has a company to handle and a wedding to plan, Dean has a broken marriage and a decision to make. They have separate lives, lovers and families of their own, they aren't supposed to meet again, to mess it all up. And yet they do, when they least expect it, and maybe when they most need it. A story about second chances, about hope and resilience, and a love that feels both doomed and inevitable.
Unsung Melody (WIP) | @toomanyships-sendhelp
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 177617 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Character Death, AU Slaves, Slow Burn Summary: Dean runs a busy bar and grill in Lebanon, Kansas. Semi-retired from hunting, he'll still catch a case when one blows his way or the urge to hunt strikes him again. It isnt until a case that opened decades ago claims another victim and Dean has to get back in the game a little more than he expected.
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queer-as-frikc · 3 years
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My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too
So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.
Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.
I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."
Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.
Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.
So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)
I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.
I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.
Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.
The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.
When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.
But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.
But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.
I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.
hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)
again, tysm <3
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