#loona haseul fanfic

[sinswithpleasure]

忘情水 （ft. 本月少女：黄珈熙）

—-------

This fic would have fit better in Mandarin, but I lack the skill to write it well enough to even try. 

This is for me.

—-------

Wong Kahei opens the back door to Within Reach, the bar she calls her workplace. The bar is almost full: 8:30pm—prime drinking hours—and the live band on stage right now plays something slow, romantic. Vivi has to bite back a sigh—working on Valentine's Day sucks when she'd rather be home, sleeping already. Her bills don't pay themselves, and here she is, out of necessity rather than choice.

It is with a heavy heart that Kahei heads to her dressing room to the back. She sighs when she reaches her room, the name of the bar engraved across the wood, her name beneath it. 

She's no longer within reach.

Kahei sets her guitar down, and she walks back out front. She smiles when she sees Choerry out at the bar, mixing up another one of her wonderful cocktails. 

"Yerimmie."

"Vivi-unnie!"

"One scotch, on the rocks please."

"Okay!"

Ka-hei is grateful for Choerry's bright smile. The world needs someone like her, someone exuberantly positive, someone as pure and bright as her who loves without question. Without people like Choerry, the world would be worse off. 

When Choerry hands her the glass of scotch, she downs it in one go. 

"You seem down, unnie."

"My depressed mug gave it away, didn't it?"

"Well… that, and you're usually never this gloomy."

Kahei thins her lips and nods.

"Another one, Yerimmie."

"Not too much, unnie. You still have your slot up at nine."

"I know."

Kahei sighs when Choerry pours her the second glass.

"Is this about Haseul-unnie?"

"Yeah."

Choerry gives Kahei a sad smile. She knows how much her Vivi-unnie hurts inside. Valentine's Day used to hold so much hope for her at one point, but… 

"I'll enjoy your performance later, unnie. Gotta get back to work."

"Go on." Kahei smiles at her favorite bartender. The younger girl has been much of a sister to her for years, and Kahei loves her as one would an actual sibling. 

Now, left alone with her thoughts, Kahei ruminates.

I don't like you that way, Kahei. I'm sorry.

Kahei swallows thickly at the words in her mind, the wound still just as fresh as it was a year ago. Wistfully, Kahei pulls out her phone and stares at the wallpaper on her lockscreen. Most of their little group's gone and scattered now—Heejin's a famous artist now, Jinsoul's a producer for one of the biggest labels in Korea, Choerry's bartending right in front of her, and Haseul…

Kahei's heart breaks again when she sees that pretty smile of hers on her screen. She knows she should change it, remove every trace, but she just can't bring herself to.

Slowly, Kahei nurses her drink. She's got fifteen more minutes to spare before her set comes on, and she takes in the atmosphere of the bar. She runs her gaze across the establishment—there are many couples around, as expected on Valentine's, but she notes that there are just as many patrons, if not more, who're probably just like her—lonely, heartbroken, alone. 

Sometimes, Cupid just isn't kind.

Kahei downs her drink and heads for her dressing room. Another ten minutes to her slot, and she has to get ready.

—

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the next act, Vivi Wong!"

A gentle wave of applause rolls across the bar as Vivi steps up to the stage with her guitar. She thanks the previous act for introducing her, and they return the pleasantries. Once her guitar's plugged in, she takes her seat in front of the mic and smiles as the cheers quieten. 

"Good evening, everyone. My name's Vivi, and I'll be your entertainment for the next hour. Please take care of me."

With a nod to her colleagues behind her, she begins her set.

—

Kahei begins with a few upbeat, romantic songs first. After all, most people do celebrate Valentine's Day instead of hating it like she does. She slows down the set later into the night when she approaches the last song of the set, when most of the couples have cleared out. 

"To all of the patrons who're feeling lonely, heartbroken, or sad tonight, I've not forgotten you all, because I've also been one of you too."

She's still one of them. 

"This song is in my native language of Chinese, titled '忘情水', which roughly translates to 'forget love water'. I hope all of you enjoy it."

She smiles when one of the AV staff flashes up the lyrics of her next song. Kahei's painstakingly done up a slideshow with translations just for tonight—no point singing the song if no one's going to understand it.

Kahei nods to the keyboardist, and she begins the opening notes to the song. She takes a breath as she takes a trip back through the swirl of memories that envelop her being, to the one name that she can never forget—Cho Haseul.

—

Kahei takes herself back to the first time she meets Haseul. She was new to Korea, having moved here when her dad took up a job here. She'd been so nervous on her first day at school, but when the teacher directs her to the only empty seat near the back of the class, she raises her head to meet a bright eye smile and a dainty hand reaching out to her. 

"Hi! My name's Cho Haseul, what's yours?"

—

She starts.

行遍千山和萬水

一路走來不能回

曾經年少愛追夢

一心只想往前飛

(I chased dreams when I was young

My heart only thought to fly

I've walked through mountains and streams,

my path cannot be reversed)

—

Haseul's pretty. So, so pretty. 

At first, Haseul's just a friend. A pretty friend that Kahei spends all her time around, because they're seatmates who live in the same neighborhood. Every minute of every day is spent close to Haseul, and Kahei learns about a whole new culture, country, and language with Haseul by her side.

A year and a half ago, Kahei met Haseul. A year and a half later, both girls have graduated, and are getting ready to move on into the next stage of their lives—college. However, they have a long break ahead of them before college starts, and that's more than enough time for Kahei.

A year and a half ago, Haseul was a pretty stranger. A year and a half later, Haseul is the pretty girl Kahei's fallen for.

"Kahei, what do you think about dyeing your hair with me?

"Come on, wasn't it what we discussed? Our shared sapphic dream to dye our hair stupid colours to get cute girls to look at us in college?"

Kahei already knows who's the girl she wants to look at her.

—

驀然回首情已遠

身不由己在天邊

才明白愛恨情仇

最傷最痛是後悔

(Suddenly, when I look back, [I realize that] the romance is already far away—I can't see you over the horizon,

From there I understand—in love, hate, feelings, or resentment—regret causes the worst pain.)

—

Kahei doesn't know when she started loving Haseul. If you asked her, she'd tell you she doesn't know. One day, she just woke up and realized she did, and it terrified her. 

However, there was a sense of comfort in knowing that it was Cho Haseul—pretty, bubbly, cute, fluffy Cho Haseul. The girl who's been Kahei's rock for so long. They were a package deal, a married-pair thing. Surely Haseul liked her just as much, right? 

Haseul, who was very physically affectionate with Kahei. Haseul, who was always the first and last person Kahei thought of when she woke and slept. Haseul, the girl that Kahei still spent day and night with. Haseul. Just… beautiful Cho Haseul.

And Kahei was going to make Haseul her girl on Valentine's Day.

—

如果你不曾心碎

你不會懂得我傷悲

當我眼中有淚 別問我是為誰

就讓我忘了這一切

(If you've been heartbroken,

you'll never understand my pain.

When I have tears in my eyes, don't ask who it is for,

just let me forget all this!)

—

"Haseul, can we talk?"

"Mm, what's up?"

Now's the moment! Kahei's so excited, because Haseul's finally going to be hers!

"I…"

Haseul waits patiently for Kahei. She always has. 

"Cho Haseul, I like you! I've liked you for a very long time! Please go out with me!"

Kahei bares her heart to Haseul, her hopes and dreams soaring in the sky. She knows Haseul loves her back too, there's no way she doesn't—

"I'm sorry, Kahei."

Wha—?

"I don't like you that way, Kahei. I'm so sorry."

—

啊，給我一杯忘情水

換我一夜不流淚

所有真心真意任它雨打風吹

付出的愛收不回

(Oh~ Give me a drink to forget,

Let my nights be tearless night,

All of my feelings lasted through the weather,

I can't take back the love I gave.)

—

Kahei's a pathetic mess. 

The heartbreak that follows drives her to do things she'd never do if she was thinking straight. She begs, cries, screams for Haseul to love her back. She even visits Haseul's house multiple times and tries to talk, but Haseul drives her away more and more in fear each time. Kahei gets increasingly more desperate—sending more texts, attempting more visits, and trying to intercept Haseul. It ends with Haseul blocking Kahei on every social media platform she can find, and her presence not welcome on the Cho family's residence any more.

(Future… well, present Kahei regrets the decisions she made then. She became a creep, and she still can't exactly forgive herself for that.)

Kahei is devastated when a letter without a return address comes one day. There's no need for one anyway.

'Kahei.

I thank you for your feelings for me, but there is no way I can reciprocate them. Not even if you beg and cry and scream. We need time away from each other.

By the time you're reading this text, I should be on my plane to the United States for college. I'm sure you knew that. 

I hope to see you in the future, when you're feeling better.

Goodbye.

Haseul.'

—

給我一杯忘情水

換我一生不傷悲

就算我會喝醉就算我會心碎

不會看見我流淚

(Oh~ Give me a drink to forget,

Let me live without the pain,

Even if I get drunk, even if my heart breaks,

At least you won't see me cry.)

—

As Kahei carries on singing the song, she's deep in her head.

Kahei feels stupid. Very stupid. A year has passed, and she's still hung up on… well… Haseul, sort of. She's not sure if it's her, or it's the regret that she became a creep. She's still not sure. 

Many nights Kahei has spent thinking about herself. She thinks about how she could've done better, should've done better. She should've stopped at Haseul's 'No' and let sleeping dogs lie, instead of trying to fix something that wasn't broken. Instead, she now leaves behind a broken friendship, and loose ends that may never end up tied. Kahei wishes for closure, for a chance to apologize, but there's no more chance for that now, is there?

Maybe she doesn't even deserve that much…

As the closing notes to the song float away, Kahei notes how wet her cheeks are. She takes a moment before she realizes she's crying, and she hurriedly attempts to wipe her face with her sleeves. As the bar patrons slowly clap, Kahei can feel how awkward she's made things. 

"Thank you all, and have a great night."

Kahei hurriedly exits the stage, and she leaves for her dressing room to compose herself. 

—---------

When Kahei returns home that night, she still beats herself up for being hung up over Haseul, who's long gone from her life. 

Kahei wishes to forget. 

(Kahei wishes for closure. Kahei wishes to repent. Even if she doesn't deserve it.)

[mechaknight-98]

Surprise (NSFW) FT Haseul

Author’s Note: Y’all are for sure going to hate me for this one but screw it. Think of this as a birthday present for my first Concert Crush Haseul and my favorite photo supplier @blanceverlast. May both of your endeavors and relationships be fruitful and significant

The soft glow of the evening sun filters through the curtains, casting a warm, orange hue across the living room. Haseul sits curled up on the couch, a half-empty glass of wine resting on the coffee table in front of her. The room is quiet, save for the faint hum of the city outside and the ticking of the clock on the wall.

The apartment is filled with little tokens of your time together—a Polaroid picture of you and her at the amusement park pinned to the fridge, a pair of concert tickets from your first date tucked into the corner of the mirror, and a small cactus you bought on a whim, now thriving on the windowsill.

Haseul's eyes wander over these mementos, and a bittersweet smile tugs at her lips. She picks up the small stuffed bear you won for her at a carnival, the one with the slightly lopsided grin. She hugs it to her chest, her thumb absently tracing the worn fabric.

On the coffee table, her phone lights up with a message. She glances at it—just another notification, nothing from you. She sighs and takes another sip of wine, the warmth doing little to ease the heaviness in her heart.

She had known you'd be at a gig tonight, but she had hoped—just a small, selfish hope—that maybe, just maybe, you'd surprise her. After all, it was her birthday, and this was your home as much as hers, filled with all these memories you had built together. But now, the silence feels louder, the emptiness more pronounced.

Her eyes flicker to the clock—8:45 PM. You've been gone since the afternoon, and she imagines you on stage, playing recklessly with your kit. A chibi sticker of her on the side to remember her lost in the music. She knows how much your music means to you, and she tries to remind herself of that. But the reminder does little to soothe the ache.

A small cake sits on the kitchen counter, a single candle still unlit. She bought it earlier, thinking you'd share it together. She glances at it, the frosting now looking less inviting and more like a cruel joke.

She lets out a shaky breath, leaning her head back against the couch, eyes closed. She knows you didn’t mean to hurt her, but she can't help feeling forgotten, left behind in this sea of shared memories while you're out there, making new ones without her.

Here's what she doesn't know. this "gig" you're at is secretly a surprise party for her where you somehow managed to get All 12 Loona girls and a couple of her other friends together to celebrate her birthday. The only issue is you just needed time as you were the sole effort coordinating this venture. So you needed all day to get ready. As the clock struck 9:00 you called Haseul. She wasn't picking up which worried you. So you did the "good boyfriend" thing and drove home. when you arrived you noticed the single wine glass in the sink and the Cake on the counter. you sighed but smiled. Always such a softie your little Seulie was. you go into the bedroom when you hear moaning.

you knew Haseul got "Excited when she had wine in her system but it was only one glass.

you walk into your bedroom where the moaning intensifies. you watch Haseul for a moment. Hungry, ravenous. you almost join her but when she reaches her peak you come down from your trance. As she relaxes she notices you in the door. the moonlight reflecting your eyes creating a ring of silver in them frightening her but also arousing her.

"Ah, Lance!" Haseul screams. you smile wolfishly.

"Is my little Seulie enjoying herself?" you ask.

"I thought you had your gig?" Haseul counters. you smile and say.

"Well it wouldn't be the same without you so come on let's go." You say.

Haseul pouts but relents. As she gets dressed you smack her ass and she moans and glares at you.

"Excuse me young man but if you're not careful you'll miss your performance," she teases. a hunger in her eyes you both share.

"Ah, I think they can wait for me you tease." Haseul smiles and then gets dressed before the two of you hop in your car.

The sky outside the car is a soft gradient of pink and purple, the last rays of the setting sun disappearing behind the horizon. Haseul gazes out the passenger window, her chin resting on her hand. The city lights begin to twinkle in the distance as Lance drives, one hand on the wheel, the other tapping rhythmically to the music playing softly from the car's speakers.

“So, where’s the gig tonight?” Haseul asks, turning her head slightly to look at you. There’s a small smile on her lips, but there’s also a hint of weariness in her eyes.

you grin, glancing at her before returning your eyes to the road. “It’s at this cool little spot downtown. You’ll love it. The crowd’s always great there.”

Haseul nods, her fingers absently fiddling with the hem of her skirt. She’s happy to be with you, but there’s a lingering sadness she can’t quite shake off. It’s her birthday, and while she wouldn’t miss your gigs for the world, part of her wishes they could spend the evening together, just the two of you.

As if sensing her thoughts, you reach over and gently squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you’re coming with me tonight,” you say, your voice soft and sincere. “It means a lot.”

Haseul’s heart warms at his words, and she squeezes his hand back. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

They drive in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the city’s skyline growing larger as they near downtown. Lance seems unusually relaxed, almost too relaxed, and it makes Haseul narrow her eyes playfully at him.

“You’re awfully calm for someone who’s about to play a gig,” she teases.

you chuckle, your thumb brushing over the back of her hand. “Well, I guess I’m just in a good mood. Got a feeling tonight’s going to be special.”

Haseul raises an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Oh? Special how?”

“You’ll see,” you say with a wink, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

you pull up to a small venue, a cozy-looking place tucked between two tall buildings. The marquee outside reads “Private Event – Closed to the Public,” which makes Haseul frown in confusion.

“I thought you said this was a gig,” she says, glancing at you as they park.

“It is,” you reply smoothly, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Haseul follows you, her curiosity growing with every step. The venue is dimly lit, the entrance quiet as you both walk in. But as soon as you two step into the main room, the lights suddenly flick on, and a chorus of voices shouts, “Surprise!”

Haseul’s eyes go wide as she takes in the scene— her members, her friends, family, and even a few of your bandmates are all gathered around, beaming at her. The room is decorated with balloons, streamers, and a big banner that reads “Happy Birthday, Haseul!”

She turns to you, who’s grinning from ear to ear. “This… this was the gig?” she asks, her voice trembling with emotion.

you wrap your arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “Yeah, I’ve been planning it for weeks. I wanted to make sure your birthday was special, even if I had to keep it a secret.”

Tears prick at Haseul’s eyes as she looks up at you, overwhelmed with happiness and love. “You’re amazing,” she whispers, standing on her tiptoes to kiss you.

You smile against her lips, your hand resting on her cheek. “Happy birthday, Haseul.”

The room bursts into applause, and Haseul laughs, wiping away the happy tears as she’s enveloped in the warmth of the surprise and the love surrounding her.

The room is alive with laughter and conversation, the low hum of happiness filling the air. Haseul moves through the crowd, her heart brimming with joy as she greets her friends, family, and bandmates, each one offering her hugs, well wishes, and bright smiles.

Her bandmates from ARTMS are gathered around one of the tables, chatting animatedly. They wave her over as soon as they see her, their faces lighting up with excitement.

“Happy birthday, Haseul!” they cheer in unison as she approaches, pulling her into a group hug.

Haseul laughs, the warmth of their affection making her feel like she’s glowing from the inside out. “Thank you, guys! I can’t believe you all kept this a secret from me!”

“We had to!” Choerry teases, nudging her playfully. “Lance made us promise. He really went all out for this.”

Haseul glances across the room, where you are talking with a few of her relatives, a proud smile on your face as he catches her eye. She sends him a small, grateful smile in return before turning back to her friends. when she catches you staring she flashes you when no one else is looking. you notice she is not wearing any panties under the hem of her cute skirt. you fight your instincts and let her have this little tease for now. She turns back to her bandmates and starts talking to them again.

“I’m so glad you’re all here,” Haseul says, her voice filled with sincerity. “It means the world to me.”

Heejin grins, holding up a plate of food. “And we come bearing snacks! You have to try the cake. It’s amazing.”

Haseul accepts the plate, laughing as they pile on more food and drinks. “You’re all spoiling me tonight!”

“That’s the whole point!” Jinsoul chimes in, raising a glass. “To Haseul—the best leader and friend we could ask for.”

They all clink their glasses together, and Haseul feels a rush of emotion as she takes in the sight of them, her heart swelling with love for each of them. The party feels like a celebration not just of her birthday, but of all the connections she’s made—the friendships, the memories, the shared dreams.

As the night goes on, the music shifts from background tunes to a more energetic beat, and it doesn’t take long before Haseul’s bandmates start pulling her onto the dance floor. They form a circle around her, cheering her on as she dances, her laughter mingling with theirs as they lose themselves in the music.

Her parents and siblings join in, clapping along and encouraging the younger ones to show off their moves. The atmosphere is electric, the room buzzing with energy as everyone comes together, united by the simple joy of being with each other.

Haseul’s gaze sweeps across the room, taking in the sight of her loved ones all in one place—her family, her friends, her bandmates, and you, who watch her with that same proud, loving smile. as the emotions get to her you catch her doing a few erotic moves here and there when no one but you are watching. she's priming you for the absolute wrecking she's going to give you tonight.

As the song comes to an end, Haseul is breathless, her face flushed from dancing and laughing so much. She’s surrounded by people who love her, and in this moment, she feels like the luckiest person in the world.

She walks over to you, and you immediately wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Having fun?” you ask, your voice low and warm.

“The best time,” Haseul replies, her eyes sparkling as she looks up at him. “Thank you for this, Lance. I’ll never forget it.”

you lean down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “You deserve it, Haseul. Happy birthday.”

Haseul gets a little frisky with her kiss as she says.

"Later tonight mister you and I are going to have a little one-on-one chat," her implication explicit as she thrusts her tongue in your mouth as a little teaser.

you smile and bite her tongue gently before saying, "I will be ready," Haseul smiles before going off again. She smiles and moves your hand (discretely) under her skirt.

"Feel how wet I am for you baby," she says and you feel her legs soaked with her slick as she has you massage her for a bit to remove a bit of the edge and tension in her body.

"I am going to wreck your little cunt when we get home," you say. Haseul smiles mischievously at you before racing off.

she plays this little game all throughout the party leaving you hard and hungry for her. when the party ends and you go to take she takes it up a notch. As you pull out of the parking space having gathered everything you need Haseul pulls up her skirt and begins to tease her clit in front of you. She looks at you with an intense gaze of pleasure, hunger, and malice.

"Keep your eyes on the road baby," she teases.

your eyes stay forward and you clutch the wheel with a death grip as her moans intensify.

"Good," she says as she continues to pleasure herself and moan. All you can hear is the soft bounce and clap of her flesh as she continues her ministrations. at some point, you tune them out, and then later you realize they stopped. when you go to look over Haseul is asleep. you chuckle as you head into the parking space for your apartment. As you carry Haseul in you think, "Should I wake her?" you decide against it as you lay her on the bed, after getting home and putting her back in her pj's as you go to change yourself you hear a familiar moan and her voice say,

"Where do you think you're going we aren't finished yet."

[port-sever]

capa de fanfic: operação cupido (heeseul)

eu posso até ter sumido por quase 3 meses, mas voltei entregando beleza e conceito pra vcs (realidade do conceito: bloqueio criativo e muito ódio acumulado 😗💅), amaram???? caso se inspirar, me credite!

[nekomancee]

★ CAPAS FEITAS ENTRE 23-24/12

[bearwry]

DOAÇÕES DE HALLOWEEN 🎃

oioi! eu lembrei que eu tinha duas capas de uma doação de halloween antiga, e decidi juntar com umas capas que fiz para uma doação futura, já que elas estavam paradas aqui mesmo, trouxe para doar no mês medo 🌙

antes de tudo, algumas REGRAS:

1. adote apenas se você tem certeza de que vai usar a capa!

2. responda o formulário com atenção, preenchendo tudo.

3. apenas UMA capa por pessoa.

4. eu vou escolher quem leva a capa.

5. prazo de 4 meses para uso, ao final do prazo, se não tiver usado a capa e não entrar em contato comigo, a capa voltará para doação.

6. não mudo o título, apenas adiciono o user.

7. certifique-se de que a história está dentro das regras do spirit.

8. após preencher o formulário, eu vou entregar a capa por mp do spirit, e então a contagem do prazo se inicia!

☆ formulário ☆

1 - poemas rabiscados de um vampiro apaixonado (jay & jungwon, enhypen) | indisponível

2 - docinho de abóbora (vivi & haseul, loona)

3 - choose your card (daejong & sua, pixy) | indisponível

4 - skeletons (soobin & beomgyu, txt | música: skeletons - keshi) | indisponível

5 - sussurros do outro lado (isa & seeun, stayc)

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Rain, Rain, Go Away - Haseul Ft. Jinsoul

It was dark night, clouds surrounding what felt like only around the home. The strong pitter patters of the rain droplets impact the window, the howls of strong winds can be heard from with in the home. With the sound of a storm, a loud bang is heard from the thunder, a bang so loud, waking up a certain red panda from her bed.

“Oh… Stupid storm…”

Haseul turns over in the large bed, seeing your side is completely empty. “Babe?” Haseul sits up, terrified that you’re not in bed. Your slippers aren’t at the side of the bed, the pillows don’t have any dents or signs that you even laid down. “BABE?” Haseul throws the comforter off her body, slipper her feet in slippers, almost running off the bed.

“Babe?! This isn’t funny!” Haseul walks out the bedroom, scared, anxious while grabbing her phone to use as a flashlight. The whole home is dark, asides from the sounds of the storm outside, the house is complete silent. Just the white sound of the clocks ticking in the home due to Haseul’s thing for collecting old style trinkets.

“I see why he doesn’t like the clocks now…” Haseul slowly passes by a ticking clock on the kitchen counter.

BANG

A loud crash can be heard outside, a loud thunderclap startling Haseul, screaming like a ghost laid their hand on her shoulder which caused her to drop her phone on the floor. Haseul is squatted down on the ground, covering her head, bracing for potential impact. After a minute of silence other than the rain and ticking, Haseul realized no one is going to bonk her on the head.

“Damn it…” Haseul stands up and picks up her phone from the ground.

1:08 AM.

“It’s late, where could he be?” She stares at her phone then brings it up to shine the light forward but shines at a photo of both you and Haseul. She slowly walked up to the photo and picked it up, she can remember that day like it just happened. The beaches of Jeju Island, the smell of the salty beach water, the sounds of seagulls squawking in the background.

“May the lovely couple say cheese!” The resort worker gets a camera out preparing to take a photo of you and Haseul. Instead of a regular smile, Haseul wraps both her arms around your neck pulling you in to kiss you on the cheek while your face is completely surprised.

Haseul smiles at the memory, it was the first vacation the two of you took alone. She takes a deep breath before putting the photo back on the shelf where she picked it up from.

Kerchunk.

A key turning the front door’s lock can be heard, Haseul picked up a bat that’s leaning against the wall, turning off her phone and getting ready to swing. The door opens and a dark figure walk in, Haseul lunging in and screaming “NOT TODAY YOU BASTARD!”

“BABE?!” You watch your girlfriend prepared to take a hard swing at you, thankfully you ducked instead of being frozen, but it led to a newfound hole in the wall… With a baseball bat sticking out of it. “Haseul?!” You stayed on the floor in shock to your stressed-out girlfriend ready to behead you.

“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry!” Haseul drops to her knees, shocked from who she almost potentially decapitated. “The storm! You weren’t here! The dark! I’m sorry!” In classic Haseul fashion, she starts rambling on about the last half hour, begins to cry like a little baby, well… Your little baby.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, I’m here now.” You take your wet coat off and move next to Haseul taking her in for a hug. Haseul went from crying to straight up weeping. “DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THAT!” Your crying girlfriend starts hitting you ever so slightly while you just sit there and take the hits.

Although you couldn’t help but smile.

After a while of trying to get Haseul to calm down, taking the bat out of the wall, and changing out of your drenched clothes, you finally get in bed.

The storm settled down. Real silence has come across your home, you lay down in your spot in bed while Haseul is sitting up scrolling through her phone, assuming to be Tiktok or Instagram. “Honey, come lay down with me.” You tug on Haseul’s shirt, but she ignores it as she’s upset with you for not coming home sooner or leaving any messages.

“Babe?”

“…”

“Honey?”

“…”

“Haseul?”

You took a deep breath and sighed; you knew you had to do it. Moving from your laying position, you sit up and wrap both your arms around Haseul’s waist, resting your head on her shoulder as your breath tickles her neck ever so slightly. Haseul’s straight face starts to break into a small smile as she loves it when you hug her from behind.

Haseul continues to scroll through her phone trying to ignore your presence, but you hold on to her tighter and started rubbing you nose into neck, tickling her even more. Haseul couldn’t resist anymore, she puts her phone down, turns and smiles. “Fine, you got me!” Haseul proceeds to wrap her arms around your neck and begins to assault you with kisses all over your face.

The both of you go down on the bed with Haseul now on top of you, the kisses turn into cuddling, cuddling turn into snuggling. “Try not to swing the bat every time someone goes through the door.” You continue making fun of Haseul for nearly beheading you earlier tonight, Haseul digs her face into your chest trying to hide from embarrassment.

“I told you! I was scared!” Haseul kicked her feet up in the air and started whining as her yell is muffled in your chest. “I know babe, I know.” You chuckle with a smile on your face, you then go on to stroke Haseul’s long brown hair, easing her to sleep. “Mmm, I like that babe.” Haseul is finally relaxed, being in your arms, laying bed with you.

She wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Goodnight Seulie, I love you.”

~~~~~

The chirps of birds can be heard loud and clear, droplets of water fall off the leaves of a tree standing next to the home. The sunshine gleams around the tree’s branches and leaves, birds flying off here, flying in there. The storm has long gone past, leaving a beautiful morning behind.

Haseul then wakes up in her normal side on the bed, slowly opening her eyes. She sits up slowly then stretches her arms out, letting out a loud sigh. After a nice stretch, Haseul looks over to your side of the bed. All clean, untouched, as if no one was laying down with her last night. “Another night, eh?” Haseul feels your pillow with a little smile before getting out of the bed and getting herself ready for the day.

The house was empty, just filled with photo frames and your favourite baseball bat. Haseul comes out from the bedroom dressed and ready to go out for the day, before doing so she goes to her desk and opens a notebook.

After spending a minute writing an entry into the notebook, she then goes on to grab her jacket that’s hanging on the wall next to the door, noticing that there’s no hole in the wall. Haseul smiles as she feels the wall with her palm, it’s like new, like as if it’s never been smashed in.

Haseul puts her jacket and boots on, opening the door and looking back in her apartment before leaving.

“I’ll be back, babe.”

Haseul left her apartment, greeting people in her community as she’s lived in the area for the last few months, with you and her just moving in recently. “Good morning Haseulie!” The flower vender by the building whom both you and Haseul has visited often over the time. “Good morning auntie Hazel!” An elderly woman tending to the flower displays outside the store greets Haseul as she enters the store.

“Off visiting?” Auntie asks Haseul as she’s taking a look at what today’s selection holds. “Yes unnie, I’m going to go see him today before seeing Jinsolie today.” Haseul finds a bunch of white tulips resting in a large bucket with water. “Unnie, can I get a batch of these?” Haseul points over to the tulips, where auntie walks over and grabs a few to wrap up.

“You’re a good girl Haseulie, I’m sure he loves you so much.” Auntie mentions as she wraps the flowers in wrapping paper. “Thank you unnie, I’m sure he would love to visit if he had the time.” Haseul smiled at auntie who is happily finishing the wrapping for the flowers. “Here you go Haseulie, don’t worry about it today. A gift from me to the lovely couple.”

Auntie hands over the flowers to Haseul, not taking “no” as answer. “Thank you unnie.” Haseul bids goodbye shortly after a small conversation.

The brown-haired songstress decided to take a walk to her destination today instead of taking her car, she deemed today’s weather to be perfectly breezy with consideration that it rained like hell just last night.

~~~~~

Haseul arrives at the front gate of the property and seeing the back of a very familiar raven character.

“How did you know I would be here?”

The woman in a black blazer and skirt, wearing high boots turns around hearing the voice of Haseul. “Because of the thunderstorm Haseulie, I know you always visit.” Jinsol says with attitude and a stare, quickly turns into a smile and goes on to hug Haseul. “I always want to be here for support.”

The two friends walk through the entrance of property, a cemetery ground. Jinsol looked around the grounds and sees a few couples and families coming by to pay their respects to their loved ones, just as Haseul is today.

Jinsol looks ahead where the gravestone is set but she sees someone in front of the stone. “Hey isn’t that…?” Haseul started running away from Jinsol, the closer she got to the grave, the more familiar the figure would be.

“YAH PABO!”

Haseul yells out, causing a little bit of a scene making Jinsol cringe as some bystanders are starting to stare.

“YEAH PARK MIN-JOON!”

Your head suddenly shoots up from a praying position to see Haseul marching towards you, to your surprise as you weren’t expecting to see Haseul here so early. “Hi babe?~” Your voice was little shaky seeing a possibly fuming girlfriend?

“Why didn’t you wake me up!?” Haseul puffs her cheeks up while she stomps like a child, while you stand in front of her and chuckle. You pat the top of her head while she’s puffing her cheeks out “You were sleeping so peacefully; I would have hated to wake up you.” Jinsol comes walking up rolling her eyes at the smitten couple.

“Jinsol.” You greet Jinsol after seeing how unamused she is, acting as the third wheel. “Where’s Daewon?” At that moment you realized you poked the wrong button. “Bastard’s shooting with Jiwoo right now.” Jinsol mentions under her breathe, you start to get nervous seeing that Jinsol seems a little irritated with the question.

~~~~~

After spending some time at the cemetery, you decided to drive Jinsol and Haseul over to the Modhaus building before going back to the library for your shift. “How’s things with Daewon lately?” Jinsol in the backseat definitely looks very unamused, Haseul doesn’t think anything of it as Jinsol and Daewon have been rocky since the group came back from tour in September.

“Why don’t you ask the bastard yourself.” Jinsol speaks with attitude, surprising both you and Haseul. “Is something wrong Sol?” Haseul asks while looking back at the angry little betta. “The bastard is too busy to see me, can’t even come for lunch or even visit the dorm. Idiot.” Jinsol starts ranting to herself, she’s so focused on her thoughts, completely ignoring that she’s in the car with the both of you.

“You know you and Dae can always get back together.” And at that moment, something snapped.

“I DON’T WANT TO GET BACK WITH HIM.” Jinsol explodes in the backseat, both you and Haseul shut up and just stare straight on the road. “Who cares that he spends so much time with Jiwoo. Jiwoo this, Jiwoo that. HMPH.”

Haseul has never seen Jinsol this livid before, neither have you.

The car ride has continued in silence before arriving at the Modhaus building. “Hey Sol, I’ll meet you inside, okay?” Haseul lets Jinsol go ahead first, which the Blue Betta just shrugs off since she thinks Haseul just wants to kiss you “goodbye” before leaving.

Both Haseul and you look out the window to see Jinsol walking in the building to make sure she doesn’t have sight of both you.

“We need a plan.”

Haseul just smiles at you.

-----

Think of this as a teaser for Season 2 of the MoonVerse, a prolouge if you wish. - CKF

[yunlyps]

[xmaeve]

➸ Don't let me love you. ▹ 🔔 Status ✘ Doada.

[gardenlovebug]

[9:43 pm] haseul had been sitting in front of her desk for 7 hours at this point. a neck pillow clung onto her neck and her bottom had begun to hurt from the uncomfortable chair. you placed a cup of water next to her books. “maybe you should rest for the night,” you said while standing by her right shoulder. she picked up the glass of water and chugged it down; afterwards, she shook her head. “i need this done now.” she was stubborn and a workaholic—if she didn’t have you around she’d probably be constantly passing out of exhaustion. haseul’s laptop flashed its final pop up and turned off. she let out a sigh, “i don’t remember where i left my laptop charger.” she slumped deeper into the chair but you quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her up. haseul’s body lightly bumped against yours. “we can look for it in the morning, okay? let’s get some rest for now,” you kiss the top of her head. reluctantly, she shuffled away from her desk area and towards your bed. 

[wonik1ss]

coffee shop girl — ha.l

pairing : non-idol haseul x m!reader

song rec : spin you round by rocco

The only reason you ever went to that coffee shop was for that one coffee shop girl.

You initially only went because one of your classes required you to get your own independent book, and well.. you didn’t read that much. So you went to the coffee shop knowing that they also sell books too.

It was Thursday in September when you first meet her. Since then you’ve always come to see here. She always sat in that one core we of the coffee shop with the same fat book.

Expect now when you see her she seems actually interested in it. Before she would always read for a few minutes before falling asleep. In a way you were like here. You didn’t see why some of your friends saw in books, you only read them when necessary.

But after sometime going to the shop every Thursday to see her.. you started actually liking books like her. To the point you would come there sometimes when she wasn’t.

You got so into books you decided to tell her one day to thank her.

“ Hi I’m Y/n.. I know you don’t know- “.

“ Your the guy who started coming her in September to see me until now in December “. She said smiling right back at you.

“ It- Its not like that “. You said waving your hands all over the place trying to prove your point of not being a stalker.

“ It’s not a bad thing.. I actually only continued coming here because you wee here too “. Your eyes popped out as she laughed and continued talking ushering you to sit with her.

“ I only came here to finish this Harry Potter book my friend made blue read.. but after seeing you here struggling to understand the books I assumed were for school.. I came to watch you “.

You smirked and then said. “ So your the really stalker “. She rolled her eyes but her cheeks were telling another story as then started to redden.

“ Your eyes are lying but your cheeks aren’t “. You said as she looked at you confused saying.

“ What are you talking about “. Cheeks still red as you said.

“ You rolled your eyes but you cheeks are just brightening by the minute “. You said as you pointed to the girls cheeks teasing her. She almost immediately cover them and said.

“ Didn’t you come over here to say something “.

“ Ya I did.. you really helped me want to read more.. when you started to read more I did too.. and now I see the beauty in it like my friends do now… also in you “. You said staring at her as her eyes did the same as your before and, she looked everywhere but your face.

“ What do you mean “. She said as you got closer to her and sat in the from of her seat, now cupping one of her cheeks.

“ I’m saying I see the beauty in books and in you coffee shop girl “. She laughed and said.

“ My names Haeseul “. You stilled smiled and said. “ I think I like coffee shop girl more “. As her eyes locked with your as you both got closer.

“ ICED MOCHA FOR HASUL “. You both looked over to the cashier and Haseul go up to get her order.

“ I’ll see you next Thursday right Haseul? “. You said sad you would have a whole 4 days to see the girl again.

As she moved to get her coffee she locked back and said. “ No your coffee shop girl will be here tomorrow too “. As she winked it was like you both new.

She was your coffee shop girl. Only your coffee shop girl.

[seullieverse]

Daily AU #2

Yves & Haseul, implied Yvesoul and Lipseul, college AU, 1.5k words 11.06.2024

this is another something lost on my drafts that i thought to revamp and repost @everydayau

Yves throws her phone across the bed, sighing heavily. She covers her eyes with her arms and flops into the bed, groaning.

“Why do you treat Jinsoul like that? Aren't you two, like, dating?” Haseul inquires from her side of the shared room.

Yves now sits on the edge of her bed, eyes frowning, “‘Like that’ how?”

There's silence, Haseul's trying to find the right words, she looks everywhere but Yves' eyes, fidgeting on her seat—it’s the same as ever, Yves talks to Jinsoul on the phone, Haseul explicitly shows her discomforted face from the exchange, they never talk about it.

Haseul turns her body to face the laptop on her desk.

“‘Like that’ how, Haseul,” Yves presses.

Haseul sucks on her breath, her back still facing Yves, “Like that… you know,” she clicks her tongue, again trying to find her words (as if it wasn’t the heavy air hanging above them; if it wasn’t for Haseul’s clear uneasiness or the topic she was bringing, it’d be amusing to see the always-awkward-and-never-stop-talking Haseul silent, Yves wouldn’t let her live another day without remembering, but she knows how to read a room, and she knows she’s not with the upper hand), she finally sighs and continues, “as if you’re doing her a favour for simply talking to her, like she’s not worth all the time of the world. As if you weren’t in love with her since, like, forever.”

Yves shrugs her stiffness away, “She’s used to it,” maybe not the best wording, she notices, but now she’s just vomiting the words without thinking, “and I’m used to her being used to it. We work fine.”

Oh. Maybe Haseul has a point, and maybe she hates to admit it.

“That’s not how you treat someone you care about,” she has never thought about the weight of having Haseul’s disappointed gaze on her before now, and how horrible it feels, how small she feels. How ironic to pity herself because of a scolding from her wrongdoings.

“You know, I’d never let you treat me like this and we’re friends, I call you out when you start getting bitchy with me. Jinsoul doesn’t, Jinsoul always thinks there’s a reason for you to act like this, ‘Soo’s just busy with college’, ‘Soo might be stressed, her family must be at it again’, ‘it’s just how Soo is, I’m used’, she looks so sad whenever she says this.”

Of course Haseul is right, of course Haseul just knows what to do with her oh-so-perfect relationship. “I know! It’s just,” it wasn’t in her plans to scream (kudos to Haseul for keeping her ground and not recoiling), but her thoughts are foggy right now and she’s more prone to burst when she’s not right. Yves rubs her face (she’ll keep her ground too, stubborness is a game two can play, even though she knows she’s wrong this time), “I just don’t know how to talk to her, I’m not good with honesty. I can’t help it if my only way of expressing myself is with this ‘bitchy and sarcastic persona’ you oh-so-hate.”

Yves expects Haseul to burst too; if she did, at least she wouldn’t feel so bad for doing so. However, Haseul’s disappointment only grows, and, again, Yves feels small. (She should’ve expected this reaction, Haseul doesn’t burst when she’s angry; she stresses-cry, excludes herself and plays the victim—at least in this aspect they’re the same, and Yves feels a little bit less bad for pitying herself.)

“That’s certainly not what I’m trying to say,” she curls her lips and breaks the staring match and Yves smirks out of reflex, bad timing, because now Haseul huffs quietly and fights a grin of her own. Yves feels proud, though, because Haseul softens and the tension subsides a little bit, “There’s other ways to show you care, you don’t need to touch or always talk, this is Jinsoul’s way. But you should try to treat her like she’s the most important person in the world—”

Yves’s smirk turns into a smile, now, “Because that’s how Jungeun always makes you feel.”

“That’s how Jungeun—yeah, you got it,” they laugh. Haseul rises from her place and sits beside Yves, “She has problems, too, you know, she doesn’t like when I get too touchy and she’d never talk about it at first. I had to walk around eggs, it was a big turn off to see her getting all fun and laughs with Jiwoo and not even look at me when we were together.”

Yves takes Haseul’s arms to snuggle on her lap to seek comfort, “And then you two talked about it and sorted everything out?”

“Not actually, to be honest” she starts to brush Yves’s hair, “we kind of started a silent fight of ‘who’s wronger’. I wanted her to see I was bothered, so I started to be monosyllabic when talking to her, and she started to talk less to me—I don’t know if you know, but when we’re alone Jungeun actually changes a lot, she gets all clingy with me! And she also does all these things, you know, when she gets really soft, she only used to do that with Jiwoo, and only when they were alone, so it was pretty surprising for me to see this side for the first time—”

Yves scoffs, makes sure to pinch a little bit too hard Haseul’s cheek, “You’re digressing, go back.”

Haseul whines dramatically and holds Yves’s pulse away from her face, which earns her another pinch from the other hand—she has only herself to blame, she always tells Haseul to work out more, only to fall on deaf ears—and a laugh, “Okay, okay, going back to the story since it seems you don’t like seeing me happy.”

Yves rolls her eyes, “Good that you know, you dramatic ass.”

“So, silent fight, she started to ignore me—okay, in our heads, we thought that whoever talks first was wrong, so we started to give the other hints, it somehow turned into a competition; I was so frustrated with everything, well, frustrated with myself, and I was so angry with Jungie because she’s really good at hiding her feelings and pretending nothing’s wrong and I was mad because, like, I couldn’t be the only one affected by it, right?”

“Was it that month you were really snappy with me and blamed it on finals?”

“Yeah… sorry about that,” Haseul flushes, it takes a while before she continues and Yves waits in the caring touch patiently, “It took a whole month for us, in the end we gave in together, funny right? We were watching something really boring Jungie chose to piss me off and by the end of it she gave me a small present and I said  ‘I forgive you’ to her.”

It’s not uncommon for Haseul to deflect the blame, but it still impresses Yves, “You’re really passive-aggressive when you want to, you know that?”

“I know that, I’m working on it,” she pinches her nose, “In the end, she got really angry with me because according to her I was acting like ‘a frigid bitch’ and I should’ve said that I was jealous—which I wasn’t, I was just feeling really ignored.”

Now she’s even more amused, “You’re really trying to defend yourself to me?” Yves raises her eyebrows, holding back a smile, “In the end, you were wrong, got it.”

“It doesn’t matter who’s wrong and who’s right!”

“Something the wrong person would say.”

“Good to know you’re in a good mood now to be teasing me,” Haseul groans. She shoves Yves from her lap, “In the end she understood why I was acting like that, and she started giving me attention in other ways. In the end, she did that because she’s not really fond of showing off her relationship to the world, so she started taking enough lunch for both of us and leaving me notes when we couldn't talk, holding hands under the table and so on.”

“Of course she is cheesy like this,” it’s playful, but Yves’s somehow glad.

“What I want to say is: There’s always something you can do to show you care. Doesn’t need to be in words, but please, Soo, you need to start showing it, it’s really tiring to feel like everything you do is one-sided.” Haseul hands her the phone with a soft smile, “You should call her, plan a date, make some dinner, candles and everything, make her feel loved.”

“I will,” Yves feels lighter now, typing incessantly as Haseul goes back to work on her laptop, “Thank you, Haseul, it really helped.”

"Why are you so smug right now?"

"I don't know," Yves says, nonchalantly,  "there's something really comforting in knowing you have trouble in paradise"

[mechaknight-98]

Dominant (NSFW) FT Haseul

Author’s note: Wanted to experiment a bit so I did a little something for @blanceverlast

"What do you mean I'm a surrogate baby?" I ask my parents.

"Well, JJ, you know we've had fertility issues, so we turned to surrogacy for help," my mom explains, but I narrow my eyes, questioning why this revelation is only surfacing now.

"Well, your 'mom' would like to meet you," my mother adds.

"And what does she do?" I ask, puzzled.

The plane ride to South Korea overwhelmed me; I never imagined my "mom" would be so far away. Yet, surrogacy can originate from anywhere, I suppose. As I sit in the back of the plane, my seatmate approaches.

She wears a mask, yet there's an enchanting aura about her. Smiling (or at least I assume so, judging by her eyes), she sits beside me. The plane takes off, and we sit in silence. Despite my efforts to stay awake, exhaustion eventually overtakes me, and I drift off to sleep.

Upon awakening, I feel a lightweight on my shoulders. I crane my neck to see my seatmate. Her mask has slipped down, revealing her face. As our eyes meet, arousal floods through me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," she says, smiling.

Enraptured by her beauty, I stumble over my response. "I'd love it if you bothered me. Wait, no... you're no bother."

She smiles and sits up across from me. "Call me Haseul," she says with a pleasant voice. I smile back, extending my hand for her to shake.

"JJ charmed to meet you," I reply. Haseul takes my hand happily.

"So, what brings you to Korea?" she inquires.

I hesitate, searching for an appropriate response. "Um, my surrogate wanted to meet me," I reply. Haseul looks at me, puzzled, before smiling.

"Okay," she says before taking out her tablet. I glance over her shoulder, and she catches me.

"Do you like Kaiju research?" she teases, having caught me off guard. Surprisingly, I enthusiastically replied yes. Haseul's eyes flicker with interest.

"Oh? Then look this over and tell me what you see," she says confidently, handing me the tablet. I study the notes and diagrams, absorbing the information.

"This is a new species of Kaiju," I declare.

Haseul looks surprised. "Wait, how did you deduce all of that from my research?"

"Well, the DNA sequence at the 8th and 24th helix links is wholly different from any other Kaiju in the same family. Plus, if you examine the dorsal plates aligning with the spine, there's an unusual vein structure depicted in them," I explain.

Haseul's eyes widen in astonishment. "How did you notice all of that?"

"I like Kaiju," I admit.

Haseul looks impressed and asks me to go over all the research she just completed. Over the next several hours, we fill the time pouring over her findings. By the end of the flight, we've barely scratched the surface of this new Kaiju she accidentally discovered.

"Shit, we need more time. Hey, when you're done visiting your 'surrogate,' come to this lab," Haseul says as we pack up. She hands me a business card and her personal cell number. As we prepare to go our separate ways upon landing, I notice a dark-skinned woman who sees me and says, "James?" I look at her before Haseul pops up behind me.

"Yuma, you know JJ?" Haseul asks.

"Yes, he's my son," Yuma replies in English before saying something else in Korean that I don't understand.

Haseul's eyes widened as she smiled knowingly. The two women led me to a van, and we all piled in. Yuma remained silent for a while before speaking up, "You're probably hungry, James. Are you in the mood for anything?" she asked hopefully.

I nodded, replying, "Teriyaki Chicken sounds great about now." Haseul burst into laughter, causing Yuma and me to turn to her.

"What's so funny?" I asked. Haseul responded between chuckles, "You really are Yuma’s son. She loves teriyaki chicken as well," teasing with a cheeky smile. I shrugged, and Haseul's smile softened into an unfamiliar emotion. I chuckle as we get the food to go before piling back in the car.

We arrived at the laboratory, and Yuma took me aside to her office. "You’re probably wondering why I brought you here, why I did all of this," she said with a crooked smile similar to mine.

"Well, I just wanted to meet you and talk to you," she explained.

"I carried you to pay for my doctorate in Kaiju studies. I read field books to you while you were in my tummy, watching marathons of Godzilla, and Gamera movies while I studied just to stay awake, and feel you kick. It made me reconsider numerous times if I should give you up, but I was in no space to take care of a child. So I buried my growing feelings and went to term, but recently I have been feeling this gnawing emptiness. Against my better judgment, I reached out to your parents to meet you. I just wanted to hold my baby boy one more time," she said, hugging me tightly.

"A baby boy who's not so baby anymore,"

Yuma said, and I chuckled at her observation. A feeling of safety washed over me, and tears poured from my eyes. Before any other words could be said, a voice interrupted us. A big, burly man entered the room and said, "Excuse me, Yuma, you are needed." My "mom" broke the hug and smiled at me.

As I waited in the office, the door opened, and Haseul popped in. "Oh, great, you're here. Can I get your help with something?" she asked with a mischievous smile. I hesitated but couldn't resist her, so I nodded.

"Good boy," she purred, and I felt a strange sensation as she kissed me. Haseul broke the kiss and smiled. "Good, now you're nice and dumb. I need your help looking over a few charts for me, and I need you not to overthink," she said with authority. My mind was left in a hazy fog as she led me into the room.

I put my headphones in as Haseul sat at her desk and asked me to go over and aggregate some data charts. She handed me a laptop and an Excel sheet, and I diligently compiled and aggregated the numbers she'd asked for, going above and beyond by conducting a qualitative analysis of Kaiju markings and identifying outliers and notable specimens. When my "mom" came to look for me, I'd finished a substantial amount of work.

"Oh, JJ, there you are," she said as she entered the office. I looked up and nodded. She walked over and examined what I was doing, furrowing her brows before turning to Haseul, who was deeply engrossed in her work. A smile crept onto my lips as I watched her. My mom noticed and smirked before addressing Haseul, "Um, excuse me, but I think my son has helped you do half your work."

Haseul looked up at my mom and quickly apologized, "Oh, Mrs. Yuma, I'm so sorry, but JJ has been so helpful."

"I can see that. His notes on your compilation have been extensive," my mom teased. Haseul turned red but quickly pressed on, "It's not just that; he has an almost ocean-deep knowledge of Kaiju."

I shrugged, "I just like them," I responded. Haseul smiled, and I felt that strange sensation again, but this time, it was more intense. My mom noticed and smirked as we headed back to her place. On the way back, she asked me a question I 100% expected.

"Do you like Haseul?" I nodded, and my mom smirked, "Be careful with her," was her only warning. Sadly (but not really), I didn't heed it.

Haseul’s claws (she's a Red Panda Kaijin) were comforting and sexy even before she wrapped them around my throat. She started small with pet names like my puppy or Handsome. Then came some light flirty glances and touches. That's what sealed the deal I was hers. Her little pup to mold and shape how she saw fit. 

This all culminated in the day before I left. I helped her and my mom finish something and Haseul said, “Oh my little pup so dumb but eager to please,” my brain broke and I responded (thankfully my mom wasn't there to hear this)

“Oh please fuck me dumb. Mark me and claim me as yours Haseul,” Haseul smirked at me. Her eyes narrowed as her scent filled my nostrils leaving me lightheaded and aroused. She slipped over to me and sat on my lap. Her voice took on a Saccharine and lurid pitch as she spoke, 

“Oh my needy pup, what makes you think you deserve my touch,” she coos and I moan which turns her smirk into a wicked smile. If it wasn't clear to her before it was now. I am her little pup. I'm only hers to play with and manipulate as she sees fit. One hand palms my hardening cock and the other wraps itself around my throat. She smiles maliciously as my breath hitches and her control over me becomes absolute. She extends her talons enough to draw blood but my horny head only draws a euphoric pleasure from the sensation.

“I could rip your throat out and you'd ask me if you were a good little pet?” she said which elicited another moan from me, “Oh dumb pup I'm going to have fun training you.” Haseul gloated, as she began to stroke my rod.

As she did she licked my blood off of her talons the lurid sight drove me to new heights. After she licked the blood off her talons she licked my neck where she pierced me. I felt the wounds begin to heal as she eyed me with a ravenous hunger before telling me, open your mouth for me pup, and stick your tongue out.” I follow her command and she sucks my tongue while it's out before inching closer until our lips touch and devours me in a kiss. I resign myself to being her prey, she smiles viciously and then abruptly stops. My body jolts at her with a drawl of touch. 

“Later my puppy. I don't want you to make a mess,” Haseul replies. I groan and get up trying to relax and take my mind off of her touch

Before I could walk off Haseul said, “No stay!” I returned to her as she commanded. She smiles. “I trained you so well. What a good boy.” Haseul says with her most proud and soothing tone.

“Sit” Haseul commands and I do. She revels in her power over me. I'm just so happy to see her happy. 

“So here is how it's going to go puppy. I am going to not touch you for the rest of the day but when we get off meet me at my apartment and we will finish what we started,” Haseul said seductively. I nod and she smiles. We get back to work and she says, “Good boy,” 

After I finish my “work” my mom has to stay late and leaves in the care of Haseul. Before I leave my mom gives me a rather large sum of won and says “Treat Haseul well tonight.” I nod and we drive off. I ride with Haseul and ask

“You hungry,” Haseul nods and we decide to head to a nearby restaurant. It's a pizza joint. We get in and I sit with Haseul. I'm nervous as this is a very different level type of intimacy that we haven't shared before. I swallow my nerves and go for the safest compliment I could think of. “Your glasses are great really show off how your eyes are dazzling,” I say. Haseul beams with a shy smile. “Oh, so that's the way to turn the tables,” I tease. Haseul narrows her eyes. 

“Careful pup. I can take you to heaven tonight or leave you in purgatory,” Haseul says bitingly. I smile 

“What so funny?” Haseul asks accusingly. 

“Haseul I'm not trying to do anything funny I just really like you and no it's not just because of all “claiming” you've done. You're witty, compassionate, and gorgeous. Plus you like all the dumb stuff I like. Why would I upset you,” I reply Haseul blushes intensely before our food arrives. We eat in relative silence but Haseul makes sure I'm full and hydrated. She reasons that she wants her puppy to be ready for his walk. We entered her apartment and she excused herself to her bedroom before calling for my help.

And now you're all caught up

“So my pretty Firebear, what would you like to do first,” I ask. Haseul smiles

“Ooh, I like that,” Haseul coos, and our lips meet. 

We break out first kiss and she smiles before pouncing on me. She rips open my pants and shirt before saying, “Be a good little puppy, and let me ride you,” 

 

Haseul takes me inside her and my mind goes blank. She’s so tight. I try to formulate words but she starts to grind her crotch against mine. She leans in closer and says, “Oh my little puppy isn't so little,” I moan at her expert control over my body. Her touch is delicate but powerful. I watch as she sets her hands down and uses me as a tool for her pleasure. 

“How is it,” I ask eagerly to see if I can grant her higher satisfaction Haseul moans out 

“Oh God Puppy you fill me up so well,” I smile seeing Haseul lose herself to the pleasure. Her folds are soft and giving but viciously tight causing the friction between us to become so intense that I can't help but moan out as my mind turns into further slurry. 

Watching me devolve seems to excite Haseul more as she gets tighter.

“Is my needy little puppy gonna cum,” she asks I groan and she laughs, “Come on puppy. Use your words.” 

Haggard, I rasped out (in English ), “fuck take me. claim me as yours!” Haseul smiled 

“Oh I like it when you lose control and your native tongue comes out,” she coos. My cock swells within her as her pussy tightens around me. 

“That's right my little dumb slut to be used and abused,” Haseul said before wrapping her hand around my throat my breathing hitched as the terror and pleasure mixed. I couldn't think straight and just fed into her degradation of me, 

“Yes, I'm your slutty puppy. I'm only good for my cock which doesn’t deserve to cum,” I watch as Haseul's eyes widen at my words. she smiles,

"Yes You're my puppy who only cums when I want him to and you've been such a good puppy," she says moaning as I can feel her near her release. "Now Puppy cum with me," Haseul says while moaning. I groan as her words and her pussy push me to release. we cum together and Haseul Smiles.

"Good puppy," she coos, as we pass out

[port-sever]

capa de fanfic: love & live (viseul)

que tal minha capinha estilo coquette galerinha, gostaram????? confesso que foi bem desafiador kkkkk eu não tenho costume de fazer capas em tons pasteis e toda hora que eu olhava demais sentia vontade de desistir pq não tava gostando 🤡👌 ah, por último e não menos importante: que saudades do meu loona mds bbc vc me paga 😭😭😭 caso se inspirar, me credite!

[nekomancee]

★ NOSFERATU; para uso pessoal.

[snutts]

Icons da passarinha Haseul, do Loona 🕊

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Our Twilight - Chapter 4

A/N: trigger warning for suicidal thoughts. Everything in this part is all a flashback from what happened in years prior, it will be following the fic as a Third POV.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

MoonVerse

August 9th, 2011

“Come on! We’re going to be late!”

“No, we aren’t. We still have at least 30 minutes to spare.”

“You’re no fun!”

A young Haseul is currently pulling young Min-Joon through the streets, on their way to start their high school life.

“Aren’t you excited for high school?” Haseul asks him excitedly, with a glimmer of joy and excitement in her eyes, to which Min-Joon can only chuckle. “Not really, you know I’d rather not to make any new friends if I can, Seulie.”

“Aw, why not? Making friends is part of the charm from school, you know?” Haseul pouts at your answer.

“Why make more friends when you are enough for me?” Min-Joon smirks mischievously before hitting Haseul (figuratively) with a flirty line, to which Haseul fumbles to even think properly. “Yah! Park Min-Joon!” she blushes furiously “You’ve been reading too many novels!” Haseul yells at him, eliciting another chuckle from him “And you should read more, Seulie~”

With their banter, the two eventually reach the school’s gate, where they happen to witness a… Peculiar pair of students, with the girl lowkey dragging the boy along with her. Even from a distance, Haseul and Min-Joon can hear the girl’s voice. “Yah, Daewon, cheer up! It’s the start of our high school years!”

Min-Joon can’t help but chuckle once he heard that, nudging Haseul “Hey, she sounds like you, don’t you think?” Haseul only smiles brightly, before ditching Min-Joon and running towards that pair of students. “Hey!” and of course, Min-Joon is too late to stop her. (Not like he can stop her anyway.)

Choosing to walk instead of running after her, Min-Joon watches as Haseul runs up to the point, saying something that makes the other girl looks at her with sparkles in her eyes, while the guy behind groans even more.

He then sees Haseul pointing at him, so he takes it as a cue to speed up to catch up to her. “So, what did I miss?” Min-Joon can’t even finish his sentence before Haseul quite literally jumps in his mouth, introducing the pair. “She is Jinsol, and that guy is Daewon, and they are starting high school today as well! Just like us!” Haseul seems to be very hyper to have already found a friend.

Min-Joon, on the other hand, notices the guy behind Jinsol instead, and approaches him, letting the girls talk to each other. “Hey, are you okay?” Min-Joon asks, seeing that the guy looks half asleep, half dead, and very much look like he would rather be somewhere other than here. “Sleepy.” The other guy responds with a delay, looking at Joon with a glare.

“Let me guess, you stayed up late playing games last night, and this morning your friend woke you up early to drag you to school?” With the way the boy’s eyes turn from a glare to a full circle, Min-Joon’s guess was right on the mark.

“Seeing that our friends over there are already getting to know each other” Min-Joon points to a lively Haseul and Jinsol chatting with each other “I think that we are going to see each other more often.” The other boy nods at that. “My name is Park Min-Joon, but you can call me Joon, what’s your name?” Joon offers a hand. “Hak Daewon, call me Dae.” The boy now known as Daewon, takes Joon’s hand.

“See! I told you they would be friends!” The two girls walk over to the two boys, giggling. Joon only shrugs at that, while Daewon grumbles about something underneath his breath. “Come on! we need to get our schedules, and I don’t want to be late on our first day!” Jinsol says while grabbing Daewon’s arm, dragging him in while waving Haseul goodbye.

“They’re kind of odd, aren’t they?” Joon comments, looking at the pair “Like you’re one to say, Mr. I-stay-up-all-night-to-read-a-book.” Haseul snickers “Guilty as charged, heh.”

Haseul then starts to enter the school while Joon is just standing at his spot? Seeing Haseul making friends so easily stirred up something inside of him that he can’t find the words to describe, because, somewhere deep in his heart, he just wants him to be her only friend. (If only he knew back then, what the feeling was.)

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” Haseul notices that Joon is still standing at one spot, making her go back to him. “Promise me, you won’t leave me?” Unconsciously, Joon blurts out those words. He managed to cover his mouth, but it was already too late. However, “What are you saying Joonie?” Haseul bursts out laughing “We’re best friends, I will never leave you.” She smiled at him brightly, making him think for a second that her smile was like the sun, warm and bright.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

--------

September 10th, 2012

It’s been a little more than a year since Joon and Haseul started high school, and things have changed quite a bit. As expected, Haseul and Jinsol got a lot closer, prompting the two boys to talk to each other quite frequently as well. As it turns out, when he isn’t sleep deprived, Daewon is a pretty cool guy to hang out with.

The four of them become more of a group, almost always seen with each other. The girls gain looks of attention and admiration due to their appearances and kindness, while the boys receive glares of jealousy from the other boys from being friends with Haseul and Jinsol. Neither Joon nor Daewon care about that though, and even actively taunts the other guys as retaliation.

However, as fun as it might be, Joon and Haseul doesn’t spend too much time together as they usually did, due to a difference in their classes and club schedules, with Haseul partaking in choir club with Jinsol, and Joon joining the library committee, as predicted by Haseul.

Nonetheless, things are working out, and all 4 of them seem to fit in with high school life by now.

“I want to be an idol.”

Halfway through their lunch break on a particular dull Wednesday, Jinsol drops a bomb on the table. “I’m sorry, I lied. Both me and Haseul want to be idols” Jinsol corrects herself after receiving a glare from Haseul.

“What made you think that Solie?” Daewon questions his best friend as this came unexpectedly. "Don't pretend that I didn't notice you playing SNSD songs, Dae" Jinsol glares at him.

“I don’t know what you mean!” Daewon denies these claims, although Jinsol takes his phone and unlocks it with ease since she knows all his passwords and opens his music playlists. “Mhmm…” As she scrolls through all SNSD.

"Just give up, she knows you more than you do at this point." Joon casually sipping on his juice, not really bothered by the news.

“Okay Mr. Cool, Haseul could you please?” Daewon looks over at Haseul who’s also holding Joon’s phone who has SNSD wallpaper. "Hey, when did you even get my phone-" Joon is bewildered that his phone magically appeared on her hand.

“Black magic!” Daewon is well aware of the women sorcery.

Joon groans at that, while Haseul snickers and hands his phone back to him.

“One more second…” Jinsol mumbles as she’s setting Daewon’s wallpaper to a picture of them when they took it in the summer after their first year.

"Solie!” Daewon is powerless in front of Jinsol at this point. “I’m the only pretty girl you need!” Jinsol hugs Daewon after giving his phone back.

“Yah! I’m going to be an MV director! I’m going to meet real pretty girls” Daewon raises his fist in the air with stars in his eyes.

"Good luck with that" Joon shrugs, finishing his lunch.

Joon really not feeling impressed with this idol talk while Haseul just stays silent for the rest of the lunch period.

Knowing Haseul for a long time, Joon knows something is up. "Are you okay?" He nudges her as they are on their way to the next class, which both of they attend

“I’m okay Joon.” Haseul smiles and tries to reassure him. "You can hide it from everyone, but not from me, Seulie. We've known each other for too long." Joon glances at her

“I’m just tired of studying, I’m fine!” Haseul wraps her arm around his, trying to convince Joon that she is 100% okay

Joon isn't entirely convinced by it, but he drops it nonetheless "I'm always with you no matter what, Seulie, remember that" He instead pats her on the head, smiling gently to her, a gesture he rarely does at school since he doesn't want there to be any misunderstandings.

“I know Joonie.” Haseul smiles slightly as a response to him, leaning her head against his arm

“I know…”

.

.

.

Later that day

“Hey, do you think they are serious about becoming idols?” Dae asks Joon, the two guys hanging out together at the arcade due to the girls having club.

“Probably, Haseul joined a youth choir in elementary, she then got so hooked on singing that she studied opera in elementary as well. Be careful.” Joon says as the 2 guys are blasting through hordes of zombies on a rail shooter game, with Joon saving Dae due to the guy being distracted by their conversation.

“Seeing that both her and Jinsol share a passion for singing.” Joon continues “They really might become idols.” Joon chuckles. “Ah, that makes sense.” Dae nods his head absentmindedly as the 2 guys blast their way to the final boss of the game without even realizing it.

“It’s not like you won’t meet Jinsol again if she does become an idol though.” Joon continued the conversation. “What do you mean?” Dae glances at him. “Didn’t you say that you’re going to be a MV set director, tch, pay attention, you just lost a life.” Joon groans, trying to focus on the boss fight. “If you become a MV set director, you can still work with her, yes?”

“Huh.” Dae becomes silent for a while, completely ignoring the game at this point “Why didn’t I think of that?” “Dumb ass” Joon scoffs. “Then what about you?” Dae turns the question around “If Haseul becomes an idol, are you going to find a job near her as well?”

Joon turns silent at the question, giving enough time for the boss to land a blow, landing them a ‘Game Over’ right at the edge of game completion, to the dismay of the observers around them.

“I… Never really thought of it.” Joon slots the light gun into the holster, stepping aside for others to get their turn at the game, with Dae following him. “I always know Haseul loves singing, and she might become a singer at some point, although…” He falls into contemplation. “I’ve never given much thought about it.”

Feeling slightly guilty for bringing his friend’s mood down, Dae attempts to lighten the mood “It’s ok man, it’s still a faraway future, we can’t say anything for sure.”  Dae puts an arm over Joon’s shoulder, shaking him slightly “Besides, I’m sure you and Haseul can’t be apart for long anyways, and you know that.”

Joon can only chuckle, remembering the times when Haseul dragged him out for something that she could have done herself. “Fair enough” He shrugs. “Now…” Dae glances at the time on his phone. “It’s about time their club activities are finished, what do you say we head back?”

“Sounds good.” Joon nods, leaving the arcade with Dae.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, bro.”

--------

June 6th, 2013

“Aw, don’t look so down, Joonie, I’ll only be gone for a year~”

Despite his best effort at poker face, Joon can’t help but be sad at the sight of his best friend about to board a plane to the other half of the world, away from him.

“Who said I’m down? Without you, I can finally read in my free time.” Joon still tries to put up a brave front, to the exasperation of his aunt, and his friends, Jinsol and Dae.

“Does it kill you to just show your emotion? Damned kid” Joon’s aunt ruffles your head “The library is going to be real quiet without you, Haseul. Do your best over there, yeah?”

“Thank you, auntie, I will” Haseul smiles, before being embraced by Jinsol “You better come back, yeah? We still have our dreams to fulfill” With a strong hug, Jinsol lets Haseul go while trying her best not to cry. “Good luck over there, we’re going to miss you” Dae smiles fondly, patting Haseul in her shoulder. “Of course! Who do you think I am?” Haseul snickers at him.

Meanwhile, Joon watches them all silently, letting them have their moments, until Haseul turns to him. “I’ll improve on my English, mark my words!” Haseul points at him in a dramatic way, puffing up her cheek, inciting a snicker from him “Mhmm, I’ll be waiting.”

Haseul then suddenly pulls him in for a hug, mumbling something only for the two of them to hear “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my promise, I won’t leave you.”

Just as suddenly, she releases him from her hug, a bright smile plastered on her face “Did you know? We say goodbye for now, so that we can say hello to each other again. So, I’m definitely coming back, because this is where I belong.” For Joon, her smile at that moment is brighter than even the sun itself, bright, warm, and full of hope.

And with that, Haseul follows her aunt into the boarding station, gradually disappearing amongst the crowd of people, with Joon trying to find her silhouette until she can’t be seen anymore.

“You’re finally being honest to yourself, you brat” His aunt seems to snicker, as Joon’s eyes turn blurry from the tears that he’s been holding in ever since he heard that Haseul’s going to leave.

“You better keep your promise…” Joon mumbles to himself.

--------

September 11th, 2013

“……”

“……”

“…. Joon.”

“…. Joon…”

“PARK MIN-JOON!”

With a deafening shout, Joon snaps out of his stupor, looking up at the owner of the voice “You need something?”

Dae lets out a sigh as he sits down next to Joon. “Are you ok?” Dae looks at Joon worriedly “Duh, I’m fine, what do you mean?” Joon raises his eyebrow

“Bro, you didn’t join me and Solie at our usual table, opting to sit outside. Also, lunchbreak is almost over, yet you barely touched your lunch” Dae points to the sandwich that Joon’s been holding ever since lunch started.

Joon lets out a single ‘oh,’ before looking down on the ground, not even bothered to eat his lunch.

“Look, I know you miss Haseul, we all do, but you can’t be like this, you know she won’t like it when she knows you’re being like this” Rather uncharacteristically, Dae scolds Joon for neglecting himself, despite being scolded by Jinsol in a regular basis for the same reason.

“I know, it’s just…” Joon lets out a sigh “Never mind, I’m sorry for being like that, just give me some time alone for now” Joon stands up and walks off, leaving Dae sitting there, looking at the guy.

“I know they are close, but I never thought it would be this close…” Now it’s Dae’s turn to let out a sigh.

Surprisingly enough, a few days later, Joon begins to return to his normal self again. Although, for Jinsol and Daewon, they know that he’s just trying his best in order to not let Haseul down. But seeing their friend behaving normally after months of being down, they are content with Joon trying his best to be happy again, even if his best friend isn’t here for now.

--------

December 7th, 2014

On a typical winter day, with snow covering almost everywhere, most people would rather stay at home, wrapped in a warm blanket while enjoying a cup of hot cocoa. However, Park Min-Joon is not ‘most people.’

Ever since early in the morning, Joon has been up and running, being too excited to stay still. “Kid, calm down, looking at you are walking around like this is making me dizzy” Joon’s aunt scolds him.

“But today-”

“Yes, Haseul is coming back today, but her plane isn’t landing for another hour, so would you please calm down, dear nephew of mine?” His aunt interrupts him “I made you some hot cocoa, so it would be wasteful to not drink it, hm?” She slides a mug to his usual spot at the table, the steam coming up from the mug indicates freshly made hot cocoa, perfect for weather like this.

“Fine….” Begrudgingly, Joon takes a sit at the table and sips it “…Thank you auntie” “Don’t mention it kid” His aunt ruffles his head gently with a smile.

The two of them sit there in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying their hot drink in the chilly weather, that is, until….

Ding Dong

“Oh…did you order takeout, auntie?” Joon asks his aunt while looking at the front door. “Let me get it” Before his aunt says anything, Joon is already up and on his way, entirely missing the mischievous smile that his aunt has….

“Hello?” Right as Joon opens the door, expecting to see a delivery man, what he sees is entirely different. A petite frame, wrapped in a bundle of coat and scarf. Black, slightly wavy hair, down just pass her shoulder, pair with her mesmerizing brown eyes and a charming smile.

Her smile.

“Surprise!” It’s none other than Jo Haseul, standing in front of his doorstep, completely catching him by surprise, as shown by the completely befuddled expression on Joon’s face

“H-huh?”

“Did you miss me so much that you turn stupid?” Haseul giggles at the state of her best friend. “B-but your flight was supposed to land an hour later!” Haseul only smirks “Hehe, I lied about that, I wanted to give you a surprise, and looking at you right now, it’s safe to say that my plan worked” Haseul smiles proudly and satisfied, finally getting a leg up over Joon.

“Well, you’re not going to invite me in?” She says innocently, with her cute puppy eyes that snaps Joon out of his daze. Groaning, he steps aside for her to come in “You got me this time, Seulie”

“Hehe~” Haseul giggles as she heads in, greeting Joon’s aunt with a quick hug.

“It’s nice to see you again, Haseul” “It’s nice to see you too auntie”

They then head to the kitchen where they proceed to chat with each other, catching up with what’s been going on, completely forgetting Joon who is still at the door.

“Seriously, I’m her nephew, not her….” Joon grumpily complains, mostly to himself, before closing the door then joining them at the table, not really saying anything else besides enjoying Haseul’s presence again after so long.

Soon enough, Joon starts to space out listening to the conversation, like he usually does these days, when Haseul isn’t around to pull him away.

“Joon?” hearing her say his name is enough to snap him out of it. “Yeah?”

“Can we get some rest? I’m still kind of tired…” Haseul yawns slightly. “Aren’t you talking with auntie?” “What do you mean? Auntie left like, 5 minutes ago” Haseul raises an eyebrow.

“Oh….”

“Joonie, are you sick?” Haseul starts to get worried “No, no, I’m fine, I just…tend to space out a lot nowadays I guess” Joon shrugs. “Really? I don’t really remember you spacing out back then though” Haseul tilts her head confused. “Well, I never had the time to be by myself with you dragging me around almost all the time” Joon snickers, patting her head, causing Haseul to laugh slightly as well.

“True enough….” Haseul lets out another yawn, stretching her arms. Wordlessly, Joon lead Haseul up to his room, with Haseul following him obediently. “Wait, your parents know you’re staying over here, right?” “Of course, they do”

Reaching Joon’s room, Haseul takes a few minutes to look around “It didn’t change much, huh” “Well, I don’t see why I would change it, you helped with the decoration after all” Joon shrugs, preparing the bed for Haseul, unaware of the look in Haseul’s eyes when she hears that “Feel free to use my bed, like usual, call me if you- oi!”

Not letting Joon finish his words, Haseul tackles him onto the bed, hugging him tightly “Be careful! I almost hit my head onto the bedhead!” Joon complains, yet Haseul stays uncharacteristically silent.

“…Seulie?” Joon notices it, switching his tone to a gentler one. Haseul mumbles something, barely noticeable for Joon if it wasn’t for the fact that Haseul is hugging him: “I kept my promise.”

Joon lets out a scoff, despite the big goofy smile on his face, as he puts her back gently.

“Welcome home, Seulie”

Joon doesn’t receive any answer to that, but he feels a nod from her head, rested against his chest. And for him, that’s all he needs to know.

The reunited pair of best friends gradually fall sleep together, cuddling and clinging to each other.

--------

May 6th, 2015

“Please Joonie, please, please, please~”

“Seulie, you already know the answer….”

“But! It never hurts to actually try, you know!”

Dae is just sipping on his juice as he watches Haseul bugging Joon for the past hour. “Uhm, why is she bugging him like that?” He leans to the side and whispers to Jinsol. “Oh, there’s a singing contest happening soon nearby, and teacher recommended Haseul to join.” Jinsol answers while fiddling with Dae’s phone, changing his wallpaper into different pictures of her and the group.

“Ok….and how does that relate to Joon?” His question earns a sigh from Jinsol “She wants him to join with her as a duet, of course” Daewon finally connects the dots, much to the annoyance of Jinsol. “But he can’t sing though?”

“According to Haseul, he can, he just doesn’t like to” Jinsol goes back to messing around with Dae’s phone. “Well, he doesn’t really join us on our karaoke hangouts, so make sense I guess.” Dae takes a few minutes to remember to all the times Joon reject going to the karaoke with them.

“Please.” Haseul now hits Joon (figuratively) with her puppy eyes, knowing that Joon cannot reject her with that. “Urgh, that’s cheating!” True to form, Joon crumbles underneath her puppy eyes “Fine, I’ll join your contest, only this time, okay?”

“YES! FINALLY!” Haseul bear hugs him “You won’t regret it, Joonie!” “Yeah, yeah.”

And with that, Joon starts to join Haseul in her room that evening, finding a song that they could perform for the contest.

“How about we do an English song?”

“Why?” Joon seems genuinely confused

“Because I’m pretty sure everyone is going to do SNSD songs, and I want us to be different!” Haseul cheerfully replies to him.

“Mhmm. Are you confident in your English?”

Haseul rolls her eyes “I lived for a year in America, of course I am!” She then browses through the selection, before selecting a song “How about this?” “This song!” Joon looks at Haseul skeptically

“Yeah! I listened to it all the time when I was abroad!” Haseul smiles at Joon brightly.

“Would it work?” Joon plays the song on her speaker

“It’s ok, we can figure it out as we go” Haseul hums with the song, already making some kind of notes.

“Alright then.” Since he has already agreed to it, Joon decides to do his best as well. Anything for her.

From then on, Haseul and Joon spend a lot of time together after school practicing for the contest, with Haseul fixing Joon’s unhealthy habits in order to improve his singing voice.

“Joonie, I believe you can be a singer someday if you want to.” Haseul comments during one of their practice sessions. “Why do you think that?” Joon raises an eyebrow, chugging his bottle of water. “Well, you already have good foundations, minus the few bad habits, you even know how to use your diaphragm, despite rarely singing at all, are you sure you aren’t practicing behind my back?” Haseul smiles teasingly, poking his cheek.

“No, I read about it in a book from the library, and tried to use it whenever I exercise, so it became a habit.” “That explains why you look thinner!” Haseul exclaims, feigning shock. “You’re not my Joonie, my Joonie would never go exercise without me dragging him, what have you done to him?!” She points a finger accusingly at him, although her giggle is betraying her real intention.

“Because when I exercise, I wouldn’t miss you as much.”

“Do I need a reason to be fit?” Once again, Joon covers up his real reason with his brave front, managing to successfully fool Haseul once more. “Well, it’s good that you’re more conscious about your body now, Joonie~” She pokes his abdomen through his shirt. “Keep this up and I might fall for you~” Haseul smirks at him teasingly, turning Joon’s face slight red. “W-what are you doing?!”

“Hehe, just joking~” Haseul smiles brightly.

“Don’t joke like that!” With a flustered face, Joon looks away “People might get misunderstandings!”

Haseul rolls her eyes at him. “I don’t really mind that, actually…” She thinks to herself but decides not to say anything about it.

Days gone by, both of them practice almost every time they are free, and it’s been fun, really fun. For Joon, he realizes singing isn’t as bad as he thought it would be, and when Haseul is by his side, everything is good, everything is right. As long as she is with him.

For Haseul, just the fact that she got Joon into singing is good enough for her. Her best friend, her favorite person, doing the activity that she loves the most with her, what more can she ask for? Well, there is one more thing that she wants to do with him, but for now, she is content with this. As long as he is with her.

.

.

.

Two weeks later…

Here they are, hours poured into their practice, for just a few minutes of standing on the stage, a few minutes where the spotlight is on them, and them only, thinking about that make Joon extremely nervous, despite the fact that he’s been trying to hide his nervousness under his usual calm façade.

And of course, his façade doesn’t work for Haseul, whose hand is patting his shoulder gently “Deep breaths Joonie, don’t worry, we can do this.” With a gentle smile and her soothing words, she manages to calm his nerves down a bit.

“I just hope I don’t screw it up” Joon lets out a shaky laugh, his hands intertwined with each other, thumbs fiddling and pushing against each other in an expression of nervousness.

“I know you won’t, Joonie, trust me” Once again, Haseul smiles gently at him, reassuring him that everything will be fine.

“Look, it’s our turn now” Haseul catches the announcement, gently pulling Joon up, and away from the waiting room, and onto the stage, into the spotlight.

With her.

For a moment, Joon can’t really hear anything around him.

Sure, he can make out somewhat that Haseul is introducing the both to the judge’s bellow. He can see Dae and Jinsol sitting in the audience seats, bickering at something, like they usually do. But this moment feels surreal to him.

He looks at Haseul shining brightly on stage, talking with the MC, and he has a small revelation in his heart. One that has always been right in front of his face, but he has never had the courage to look at it directly.

Haseul belongs to the stage, the spotlight, the attention. It is her rightful place, and she deserves all of it. And there’s no place for him next to her once she’s there.

Thankfully enough, Joon snaps out of his stupor at the sound of music, the piano notes leading gently into Haseul’s part.

(A/N: the italic part in the brackets indicates Joon as backup vocal for Haseul, the bold italic part indicates their inner thoughts)

“Love that once hung on the wall,

Used to mean something, but now it means nothing”

When her voice fills the auditorium, everyone turns silent, she demands attention with her voice, and she gets it.

With every single syllable coming from her lips, she slowly lulls everyone into her dream, her own world. Joon almost fell into a daze as well, but he remembers that he has a mission to do here, and that is to make sure Haseul gets the spotlight she deserves.

“…Oh, there isn’t one thing left you could say,

I’m sorry it’s too late”

So Joon does what he is here to do, he joins in at the chorus, harmonizing with her vocals, alleviating her gentle voice with his warm, low tone.

“I’m breaking free from these memories

       (breaking free)      (these memories)

Gotta let it go, just let it go

        (let it go)    (let it go)

I’ve said goodbye, set it all on fire

             (Goodbye, set it all on fire)

Gotta let it go, just let it go

        (let it go)    (let it go)”

Both harmonize at the last note, as his low voice compliments neatly for her high note, creating a perfect harmony for the ears.

After the chorus comes Joon’s turn, not that he has anytime to panic, he just jumps straight into it. Just like how they practiced.

“You came back to find I was gone

And that was empty, like the hole that was left in me”

For Haseul, all she could think about at that moment isn’t about how she is finally on stage, doing what she loves best. But rather, how smooth, and gentle Joon’s voice really is.

For all his reasoning about not wanting to sing, her friend really has a talent for it. Haseul smiles lightly as she takes a brief glance at him. Her dream hasn’t always just been her and Jinsol becoming idols.

What if….

“It's not that you meant to me”

What if Joon becomes an idol like her as well? Wouldn’t it be great?

“Thought we were meant to be”

What if he could stand with her on stage just like this?

How awesome would it be?

“Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say

I'm sorry it's too late”

Haseul almost misses the next part, being too deep into her thought, but thankfully they manage to harmonize again for the chorus, captivating the audience once again with their synchronization.

Now comes the final part, the duet, where they sing together, where they practice a lot, all their efforts rest at this moment. Their eyes lock sight of each other, like they are having a conversation just to themselves.

“I let it go…” “I let you go once…”

“…And now I know”

“I know, it’s ok”

“A brand-new life…” “But I’m back”

“…is down this road”

“So, this is our new ‘life’”

“Where it’s right….” “It’s right when we are together”

“…you always know”

“Always have been”

“So, this time…” “I won’t leave you anymore”

“I won’t let go!”

“I’m never letting you go”

.

.

.

At the audience seats

If Dae had any doubts about Joon’s singing, they are all dispersed now with that performance Joon is having with Haseul. “Holy shit….” Jinsol can only nod silently to that, being equally shocked as well. “A voice like that and he refuses to join us in karaoke…” Dae mumbles grumpily somewhat, to which Jinsol ignores.

However, at the moment that Haseul and Joon finish their performance, Jinsol immediately pulls Dae backstage, where they wait until Haseul and Joon come back to the backstage, after receiving the applause that they absolutely deserve.

“You guys did great!” Jinsol pulls both into a hug, squealing “Oh my god! I really can’t find a way to describe it, it was so…good! Even though it was in English.” Jinsol is still hugging both. “Also, yah! Park Min-Joon! I’m dragging you to every karaoke session from now on!” to which Joon only shrugs.

“Excuse me” Suddenly, a voice comes up behind them.

All four of them turn around to see a man wearing a formal suit, with a polite smile on his face “Can I talk to you guys for a bit?” The man gestures to Haseul and Joon, both looking at each other for a bit, before Haseul agreeing to meet him, and gently peel Jinsol off them.

“I’ll see you guys in a bit, ok?” Haseul smiles, pulling Joon with her as they follow the man into a nearby room.

“Who is he?” Dae raises an eyebrow quizzically.

“Maybe… A scout?” Jinsol wonders “For real?” Dae snaps his head, looking at Jinsol “After a performance like that, why are you so surprised?” Jinsol glances at him.

“…Yeah, you’re right…”

After a while, an excited Haseul bursts out of the room, followed by a calm Joon, closing the door behind him before approaching them.

“So?” Both Dae and Jinsol ask simultaneously.

“We got scouted!” Haseul hugs Joon excitedly “We’re going to be idols, Joonie!”

“Congrats!” Jinsol jumps in joy, hugging Haseul as well, making Joon also bear the force of her hug along with Haseul’s. “Girls… Can’t breathe….”

“Oh, sorry!” Both girls release him from their hugs, turning to hug each other instead. “This causes for a celebration!” Both of them skip away to their favorite snack spot, leaving the two boys behind.

“Heh, it looks like you know what you’re going to do in the future, huh?” Dae pats Joon’s shoulder, to which Joon turns to smile at him…

Now, despite them only being friends at the start due to the girls being friends with each other, Dae and Joon quickly grew to be close. Close enough that Dae can tell that Joon’s smile never reached his eyes. Instead, he looks more somber and contemplative rather than excited and happy.

“What’s wrong?” Dae turns worried

After a few moments of silence, Joon finally answers:

“I’m…”

“I’m not going to accept the offer.”

--------

A few days later…

Joon hasn’t been able to meet Haseul ever since the contest.

Given that she won first place, and was even scouted as a trainee, she should be happy. However, upon hearing that Joon isn’t going to join her as a fellow trainee. Haseul’s attitude change a whole 180

She ditched them midway through their celebration, and decided to give Joon the cold shoulder, even in school.

Seeing that, Joon can’t help but be hurt about it, but still decided not to reach out, to give her space for herself.

He can see that his decision affected her a lot, thanks to the fact that her eyes almost always look bloodshot, and puffy.

What else can he do, though? Joon thinks to himself. He is not meant to be on stage, he is not meant to be in the limelight, to be the focus of attention, to be-

Ding Dong

Well, this seems oddly familiar.

He knows that, beyond that door is Haseul, and she is here demanding to know the reason why he refused.

Steeling himself, he opens the front door to indeed see Haseul, looking tired with puffy eyes, yet with a stern gaze.

He lets her in silently, then walks to the kitchen where he prepares a drink for her and himself. The two of them now sit at the kitchen table, sipping on their drinks in awkward silence.

“Look, Seulie.” Joon decides to speak first, not wanting this silence to continue anymore.

“Why?” He is cut off by Haseul, her eyes looking directly at him. “Why did you refuse?”

With a heavy heart, he decides to tell her the truth. “I’m not fit to be on the stage, Haseul.”

“Then what about our performance?” Haseul’s strained voice, clearly due to her crying a lot, breaks his heart into pieces.

“I joined, because I didn’t want to disappoint you, Seulie. Also, because it is only a one-time thing, which was why I agreed” Joon tries to explain slowly for her.

“Then our time practicing together, you didn’t enjoy them?” Haseul looks at him with a sad gaze

“Of course, I do Seulie, of course I do.”

“Then, why?”

“B-because I’m not suited in the stage, Haseul!” Joon finally lets out his real thought

“That stage is yours, Haseul. All the spotlight, attention, all-all the love and affection from the audiences, which was all for you, Haseul, not for me” With each work Joon utter, he can see Haseul looking even more sad, but it’s too late to stop now.

“It’s your dream to become an idol, Haseul… Not mine.” Joon begins to choke on his words.

“I-I don’t want to be stuck doing something I don’t like…I-I just wanted to stay besides you….”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU AGREE? WE WOULD BE TOGETHER IF WE JOIN AS TRAINEES!” Haseul stands up with a glare at him, a glare void of any real anger, but filled with sorrow and pain.

“BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE ONE, I WAS NEVER ONE FOR IT, ONLY YOU ARE SUITABLE FOR IT!” Haseul’s anger fit seems to trigger Joon’s as well as it’s his turn to raise his voice now.

“THEN WHAT ABOUT OUR PROMISE?” Haseul isn’t holding back her tears anymore, as she glares at him with tears running down her cheeks.

“YOU MADE ME PROMISE TO NEVER LEAVE YOU, THAT’S WHY I WANTED YOU TO JOIN ME” Haseul yells at him, before her voice turns strained, broken like shattered glass, each piece impaled themselves into Joon’s heart. “I’m keeping my promise, so why is it that you’re the one leaving me….”

‘Haseul, I- That’s not what I meant!” Joon at this point has also lost control of his emotion, his tears rolling down his cheek.

“We’re done, Min-Joon” Haseul glares at him. “I don’t want to see you ever again.” She abruptly leaves the kitchen, and goes out his front door, before Joon gets the chance to say anything else.

 “Haseul, p-please, listen to me! I-” Joon is almost begging her to stay, but it’s too late. The front door has already been slammed shut, just like his connection to Haseul. “Seulie… Please.” He breaks down sobbing on the floor like a baby losing its toy. Minus the fact that Haseul was never just a “toy” or a “friend” to Min-Joon.

She is more than that.

She is his first love.

And now, he has lost her.

--------

December 8th, 2016

It’s been more than a year since their argument.

Joon has lost every contact with Haseul, his messages were never returned, calls he’s made always end with a beep. He can’t even see her now, since she moved into the trainee dorm right after their argument, not wanting to see him for a second longer.

It was hellish for Park Min-Joon.

His grades started to plummet, and he began to skip classes, to the constant worries of his teachers and friends alike. He retreated into his room, refusing to go out for weeks at a time.

His once fit body became frail, and he lost all motivation towards improving himself.

Without Haseul, Joon loses his guiding light, and it seems like he is spiraling further and further down into depression.

“Kid? Joon?” A knock on his door, the voice sounds like his aunt’s. Everything is blurry to him now, he has a tough time recognizing her voice, it’s not like he cares anyways.

“I left you some food in the fridge, ok? Please eat, I’m worried sick about you. Even Daewon has been visiting more often, please at least meet him once, ok?”

Joon makes no effort to respond to her.

“Ok, I love you kid….” Coupled with the sound of footsteps, Joon is sure that his aunt has left for the library.

Daewon.

Joon hasn’t seen him in a while, nor does he want to meet with him. Apparently, Dae is really going to become a MV set director to work with Jinsol, who was admitted into a trainee program. “Good for them, I guess.”

Looking at his friends, Joon curses himself for being so…weak. So helpless. So pathetic. Wouldn’t it be better if he wasn’t alive anymore?

Joon’s attention turns to the bottle of sleeping pills sitting on his bed desk.

With just a chug, everyone will be rid of the baggage that is him. Sure, they will cry and mourn for him, but in due time, he will be forgotten.

Just like how Haseul has forgotten him.

Just as he reaches for the bottle though, his phone’s screen turns to life with a blinding light amongst his dark room, with a notification.

Joon was about to dismiss it, until he sees the phrase ‘Haseul’ in the notifications.

He immediately checks it. Turns out it’s a message from Daewon.

“Look, Haseul is debuting soon. I don’t know if you’re reading this, but I think you would want to know.”

Attached to the message was a twitter post from a page titled “Girl of the Month (Loona)” with its content being to tease the debut of someone, with a picture of her, with her face hidden.

Joon instantly recognizes the girl as Haseul and realizes that her dream is about to come true.

“Then what about me?” Joon thinks to himself.

After a while to think for himself, he decides to dial her number yet again, hoping she would pick up so that he can congratulate her. Only that he is met with the cold robotic voice: “This number is not available.”

“Heh… Haha… HAHAHAHAHA!” Overwhelmed with sadness and sorrow, something seems to snap inside Joon, making him laugh out loud almost manically.

Haseul…

She left him a year ago to become an idol, and now that she’s about to debut, he has to know about it through their mutual friend.

A strange anger seems to be ignited within him.

“So, I’m not worth anything in your eyes unless I become an idol like you?”

Joon thinks back about the argument they had a year ago.

“Fine, two can play that game” Joon grinds his teeth in anger.

“I’ll become even more famous than you, you will have no choice but to notice me again”

Joon stands straight up, the flame of anger and revenge burns bright in his eyes.

“Watch me, Jo Haseul. I will make you notice me again.”

.

.

.

.

--------

April 21st, 2017

It’s already past midnight.

At this point in time, most people would have been buried inside their blankets, resting after a long day of working.

However, Min-Joon isn’t most people.

At this ungodly time of night, when everyone should be resting, Min-Joon is still practicing hard.

“Niga hamyeon da majneun mal-i dwae, niga hamyeon nan igiji moshaneunde”

Besides the music, all that can be heard is the sounds of footsteps when Joon moves with the beat of the song, and his heavy breathing.

Due to his exhaustion, his movement ends up sloppy, and he trips on his own feet, falling face first onto the floor. “… Fucking…” Min-Joon grunts, trying to get up on the floor to no avail thanks to him practicing endlessly ever since morning.

For the past 4 months, Min-Joon has been busy. He started going out and working out again, to the delight of his aunt. However, Min-Joon decided to drop out of high school, to the utter surprise of everyone who has ever known him.

When asked about it, he refused to say anything, except for his aunt, and Daewon, that he is ‘going to be an idol.’

And with that, Joon dedicated his time into building up his body once again, focusing on maintaining a fit physique with lots of stamina, like the ‘male idol’s ideal body.’ Afterwards, he focused on his vocals, relying on YouTube and the internet for free lessons to enhance his singing voice. (He resolutely refused to apply Haseul’s old teaching, unless it was mentioned in a video or article.)

After 3 months of upgrading himself, he directly applied for trainee at Polaris, the parent company of Blockberry Creative, the label that Haseul was contracted with. After an audition that was, frankly, quite easier than he thought, he was admitted as a trainee, under the nickname of ‘MJ.’

Thanks to him having already prepared himself beforehand, Joon quickly got recognized for his talent, and became one of the top trainees in the company.

Though he wasn’t good enough to debut quite yet, they told him that with his efforts, it would be soon.

That was a month ago.

Currently, Joon is lying on the floor of the dance studio, exhausted and sore, yet determined to practice more, to the point of overworking and potentially harming himself.

“As expected, you’re still here.” A feminine voice rings out from the entrance, prompting Joon to turn to the door. “…Instructor-nim….” He manages to croak out with a tired voice.

“Aish, didn’t you just have your evaluation the other day? Why are you pushing yourself so hard already?” His dance instructor walks over to him, before sitting down. “I had a conversation with the other instructors this morning, and they were all amazed by how much you progressed in just a month.” She says to him, patting his back.

“I get that being a trainee is unforgiving, and strict. But it isn’t worth potentially harming your body just for it.” She gives him a stern look.

“I’m fine, instructor-nim” Joon manages to let out a small smile as he struggles to sit up next to her, his arms, and legs trembling. “…Mhmm, say that to your shaky arms and legs” Of course, there is no hiding that from his instructor.

The instructor watches as Joon slowly sits crossed leg on the floor, his posture hunching forward, causing his sweat drenched hair to cover up his eyes, making the instructor unable to tell what kind of expression Joon is making.

“Tell me, MJ” The instructor lets out a sigh “Why are you doing this?”

Joon looks up at her with a confused expression. “To become an idol, of course-” “Not that.”

“Eh?” Joon eyes the instructor weirdly. “I’ve seen many trainees with a burning conviction to become an idol, but they have something that you lack.” The instructor’s gaze turns sharp “You lack the passion, MJ” Joon’s eyes turn downcast as he listens to his instructor’s words.

“I’ve spent a lot of time teaching others how to dance, so I can tell what their personality is based on how they dance.”

The instructor takes out a can of beer from her coat’s inner pocket. “And I can see that you do not enjoy dancing.” She cracks it open and sips from it. “Your body might memorize the moves quickly, but your movement lacks a sense of purpose, you’re just dancing because you need to, not because you want to.” She then turns her gaze back to the silent Joon, smirking slightly.

“Did I hit the jackpot?”

Silently, Joon offers a small nod at her words.

“Then, why do you want to be an idol?” The instructor leans forwards, her eyes glued to him. “What is it that you need to do so much, that you’re willing to break your body for something that you don’t even enjoy?” Her voice’s filled with curiosity.

“I’m sorry instructor-nim, but I can’t tell you.” After a long while, Joon raises his head to look at her, his eyes filled with…something, something so strong and deep, it sends a chill down the instructor’s spine.

“...Fine, if you still insist on being an idol, who am I to stop you?” She decides to give up on her curiosity. “However, I do not want to see you harming yourself like this again, or else my evaluation for you will drop, got it?” She eyes him with a glare.

“Thank you, instructor-nim.” Joon bows deeply, expressing his gratitude.

“I’ll talk with the other instructors, take tomorrow off” Finishing the beer can, his instructor stands up “Eh? But practice?”

“Will be move to the day after, your body clearly need rest, after you put it through the ringer.” She smirks at him. “Don’t worry, the other instructors won’t mind, trust me.”

“You don’t have to.” Before Joon got to finish his words, he is interrupted by his instructor “I do, and I will.” She looks at him “How long do you expect to last, when you’re harming yourself like that? Think about the long term, won’t you?” Her eyes softened just a tad bit. “I have no doubt that you can become an idol, but try to enjoy yourself while you can, ok?”

“This is the only time I’m covering for you, MJ. There won’t be a second time.” Her final words as she leaves the dance studio, leaving Joon alone with the music still playing on loop from the speakers.

“…Enjoy myself huh….” Joon mulls over his instructor’s words.

“Unfortunately, I can’t do that, instructor-nim….” Joon slowly stands up

“Not until I meet her again.”

After some time, Min-Joon decides to get some rest. After all, his instructor is right, and he should take care of himself more. Joon chuckles to himself, thinking back to his aunt, who would also act similarly to his instructor.

“I should give her a call” Joon mumbles to himself as he cleans up and leaves the studio for the dorm, finally getting some rest for the day.

.

.

.

--------

November 20th, 2017

And so, time goes by. Days, weeks, months, Joon fully devotes himself to training, improving, molding himself into the ‘perfect idol.’ With a great body, flawless looks, and gentle personality, he gradually wins the hearts of the instructors and fellow trainees alike.

He still isn’t good enough to debut as an idol.

But he is close, oh so very close.

He can see her again, he can flaunt that he is a better idol than her, and then, she will have to look at him… right?

Why is it that the closer to the goal, the more he feels… sad?

For the past months of his training, Joon has witnessed many things. He witnessed the harshness of a trainee’s life. Being unable to eat what they want, always having to watch their diet, to the point of almost malnutrition. He witnessed the intensity of the training, nothing that he couldn’t handle, but certainly too much for trainees who have never had any kind of preparation.

How many times has he heard the cries of trainees coming from the bathroom?

Trainees, who always had a smile on their faces, but were also suffering, and for what?

It didn’t take long for Joon to realize: It was their dream.

No matter what, they wholeheartedly, genuinely want to become an idol. They were inspired, and they wanted to stand on the stage. Because it was, no, it still is their dream. They learn to enjoy the dancing, the singing, learning how to make their presence known. They take everything they have learnt, and they still enjoy it, no matter how harsh it may be.

They can endure everything if it means their dream can come true.

If so… What about himself?

The trainee MJ never found any enjoyment out of singing or dancing. He never wanted to become an idol. Everything he did for the past months….it was only for Haseul to look at him again.

And if she does… What’s after it?

Is he going to continue to be an idol? Doing something that he’s never wanted to do?

If he became an idol just to see her, then quit once she’s acknowledged him again, won’t he just be breaking their promise once again?

“What am I supposed to do….” Joon mulls to himself, sitting on his bed at the dorm.

Today’s a rare day off, and everyone has either gone out to relax, or get some more sleep. The only one awake in the dorm right now is him.

With nothing else to do, Joon absentmindedly plays some random videos on YouTube to distract himself from his thoughts.

However, not even on YouTube can he escape, as the next video that plays is a Loona video. More specifically, it’s Haseul.

“Great….” Joon considers turning off his phone and gets some sleep, but for some reason, he can’t bring himself to turn it off, his eyes immediately glued to Haseul as she was on her way to airport for some sort of abroad filming.

Before Joon even realized it, he binged through many Loona TV episodes.

Watching Haseul interacting with her fellow members, how happy she is that she was chosen for Loona. And Jinsol! or should he say, Jinsoul, now? She also managed to become an idol as well, debuting in the same group as Haseul.

Watching both together again brings back memories for him. Memories of a time long past, of how they were always together as a group, studying together, causing chaos together…

Seeing Jinsoul inevitably cause Joon to remember about her male counterpart, Daewon as well.

It’s been a long time since he’s met the guy, both barely communicate via texts and calls. Part of Joon is surprised that Dae still replies to his messages. From what Joon knows, Dae has been very busy as well. Is he pursuing his dream of being a MV director?

Then, what about himself?

Unbeknownst to him, tears have already streamed down his eyes as he lays on his bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling.

“Why am I doing this….” He mutters to himself.

Haseul and Jinsol pursued their dream, and they were successful. Their fans love them, with the ‘Girl of the Month’ project certainly creating a lot of hype and appeal for them. However, that doesn’t deny the efforts that the girls put in.

They really, truly love being an idol, and are determined to be one.

Then, there’s Daewon, whose dream is to be a MV director so that he can work with idols, and to an extension, Jinsol.

Joon can’t help but chuckle to himself. With how much Dae gush over Jinsol in the chat, to the point that he intentionally sets his dream to be close to hers, one would think that he’s in love with-

…

Wait.

Joon sits up from his bed abruptly, looking like he’s just found out the secret to the universe.

Well, Joon really did just find out the answer for frankly, a lot of things.

Love.

Daewon definitely loves Jinsol. The hints are all there, even if Dae refuses to admit it. They might start as friends, but with how close they really are, it’s a no brainer that eventually, Dae would fall in love with Jinsol.

Then… Joon thinks back to his past.

Did he love Haseul?

Or more importantly, does he still love Haseul?

Joon takes a moment to compose himself, sifting through the memories of their past, his actions, his motivations, his mindset. And he arrives at his answer quickly.

Yes, he still does.

Who frequently pulled him out of his house to go out and play? Haseul.

Who showed him that there were other interesting stuffs besides reading? Haseul.

Who was willing to stick by his side, although he can be a prick at times? Haseul.

Who never failed to pull him into activities, afraid that he would be left out? Haseul.

Who helped him find new friends to talk with, such as Daewon and Jinsol? Haseul.

Who, besides his aunt, was always by him when he was grieving for the loss of his parents? Haseul.

Who was there for him when he needed it the most? Haseul.

Who kept their promise? Haseul.

Who broke their promise? Himself.

That’s it.

There’s no stopping the crying from overflowing now.

Luckily enough, Joon was fast enough to run to the bathroom and locked himself there. He can’t have others questioning him after all. Even if no one is currently awake right now, he doesn’t want anyone to see him vulnerable.

Once Joon is sure that he’s alone, tears start to fall uncontrollably from his eyes, as he slumps down onto the floor, sobbing quietly to himself.

Hic. “Haseul…I-I’m…sorry…” For the first time in a long while, Joon loses control over himself. No longer the charismatic, charming yet somewhat aloof trainee MJ, who excels in everything. Now lies a sobbing Park Min-Joon, a mess of a human being, someone who realized what he had actually lost, yet it was too late to make any amends now, so he does the only thing that he can do.

He cries.

He sobs for the fact that, he never realized his feelings for his dear friend, and only realized it too late, even thinking about revenge on her for abandoning him.

It took him this long to realize it, but there’s no way he can deny it anymore.

He loved- no, loves Jo Haseul.

Always have been, always will be.

.

.

.

.

--------

April 25th, 2018

“What, you are going to refuse the debut offer?”

“Weren’t you the one who told me that I’m not suited to be an idol, instructor-nim?”

“Aish, that was… Aigo, you’re driving me mad, MJ!”

“Sorry, instructor-nim”

At the rooftop of the building, Joon and his instructor is having a conversation about his debut, however, everything is going very weird…

“Then why did you even practice that hard?? You wasted all that time, and for what? You’re just going to back down, just like that?” To say that his instructor is irritated is an understatement, as she is hearing Joon say that he is throwing away all his hard work.

“… I thought long and hard about my purpose to be here, instructor-nim.” Instead of answering her, Joon seems to talk about something entirely different.

“I thought I was doing the right thing for myself, being here and all… It turns out, I was wrong, like always.” Joon lets out a self-deprecating smile. “You were right, instructor-nim. I have neither the passion, nor love for this profession.” Joon pauses for a bit, gathering his thoughts. “I thought that if I manage to become an idol, I will gain someone’s recognition, and they would finally look at me again.”

“MJ…”

“But… I realized that isn’t the case here. I realized that I was thinking too shallowly, and nothing is going to turn out the way I want it to. That’s just how life works.” Joon’s smile turns melancholy, before he stands up and bows deeply to his instructor.

“Thank you for looking after me all this time, instructor-nim. I won’t forget the lessons you gave me.”

His instructor can only stares at him silently, before her expression softens “There’s nothing I can say to change your mind now, can I?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve already decided to quit.” Joon stands up straight again.

“Fine, then go do what you need to do. You’re really irritating, you know that?” Rolling her eyes, his instructor shoos him away, to which he complies. Just as he reaches the door, however…

“…Wait” His instructor calls out to him before he leaves the rooftop. “Yes, instructor-nim?”

“At least tell me your real name, damn brat” Joon chuckles lightly at the tone of her voice.

“It’s Min-Joon, Park Min-Joon.”

Seeing that his instructor is going to say anything, Joon says nothing besides bowing to her for one last time before leaving.

“Min-Joon huh, you were good kid… Real good.”

Afterwards, Joon has…quite a tubulous morning, with him rejecting the debut and leaving the company. However, somehow, things managed to smooth it out somewhat, with Joon leaving his dorm with his backpack and suitcase.

With a deep breath, Joon takes in the fresh air, and for the first time in months, he feels free and unburdened. No longer was he MJ, the perfect trainee. Now, he is simply Park Min-Joon. He may not be as perfect as ‘MJ’ is, but strangely, he’s fine with that.

“First time I talk to auntie for a while, and I asked her for a large sum of money….” Joon thinks back to his aunt, who graciously helps him with the contract cancellation. “Hopefully, I can survive her rage.” Joon chuckles to himself, humming as he makes his way back home.

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June 5th, 2022

“Kkum-eun anilgeoya meolis-sog-eun bogjabhae,

 neon naleul aljanh-a Oh yeah”

It’s been 5 years since Joon left the trainee/idol dream behind. It took him a while to regain his bearings, but somehow, he managed to do it.

Given, it was rough for the first year. Besides Joon himself trying to at least finish high school, he had to manage his old relationships once again. His teachers and his few friends, who were disappointed that he left. (except for Daewon, as somehow, that guy has already forgiven Joon.)

And then, there was his aunt, who, despite everything he did to her, still managed to accept him back again. Safe to say, both Joon and his aunt cried their hearts out that day.

They spent the next few days catching up with each other again. And Joon cursed himself for neglecting his aunt, for taking her for granted. So, he decided to help her in her work, managing the library in the town, and learning the works so that he could one day replace her to be the librarian of this place, just like how his family did it for many years.

And so, years have passed since then, and Joon is currently managing the library alone, to let his aunt rest. She absolutely deserved it, after the past hectic week of people coming to borrow books and studying due to it being exam periods.

That was last week though, for this week, the library is…unexpectedly quiet, so much so that Joon can play music on his phone, and no one will complain, because there is no one here besides him.

“Nae ma-eum deulkilgeosgat-ae yeah yeah,

 neon tto nal deul-eossda nwassdahae”

Currently, his phone is playing ‘Not Friends’, with him being too engross in the music, failing to notice someone coming in…

“Ne nunbich-e simjang-i meomchwo,

 Not tryna talk Just tryna kiss ya”

Besides Jinsol’s heavenly voice, a sudden familiar voice chimes into the song, although the voice is so out of tune that it snaps Joon back to reality.

“Fucking hell?” Joon turns around to see Daewon, his best friend, standing at the counter smirking at him. “When did you get here?”

“Just now, I see that you’ve really taken a liking to Loona, eh?” Dae wastes no time teasing Joon. “I don’t know what you mean, I’ve always been interested in them.” “Yeah, yeah, keep talking….”

Despite the bantering, the two friends let out snorts, clearly enjoying each other’s presence.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Joon turns off the music, leaning against the counter.

“Nothing, just feeling like visiting you” Dae winks at Joon, causing the guy to fake gagging at it.

“Tch, this guy. You should be grateful that I still remember your sorry ass and visit you regularly.” Dae huffs at Joon, to which Joon bows at him grandiosely in an act of sarcasm. “Yes, yes, you’re the best, I’m the worst.”

“… I saw Haseul recently” With his next sentence, Dae causes Joon to drop his act immediately. “Is she doing well?” Joon’s voice turned soft, a stark contrast to his attitude to Dae just now.

“Of course, she is….” Dae looks at his friend’s melancholic expression. “Do you want to see her?” he asks, surprising Joon. “Why would I want to see her?”

“Look, I know you guys didn’t get a proper closure back then, and it hurt you guys greatly.”

Dae leans against the counter “You took a year off training your ass of to be an idol, only to drop it before you actually became one, and Haseul. She seemed to have forgotten about you.”

Joon winces slightly at the mention of this. This isn’t the first time they’ve talked about this. Apparently, some trauma, if sufficiently severe, can cause the recipient to lose the memory of that incident as a coping mechanism. It just goes to show how big of a mistake he made back then…

“Are you sure you don’t want to meet her? I can definitely arrange for you to be at the backstage.” Dae offers Joon, hoping that he would see his friends reconcile again.

“I’m sorry Dae, but I don’t think I can.” Joon mutters silently.

“Why?”

“If you truly love something, you got to let it go” Joon smiles lightly to Dae, a smile that Dae knows is fake.

Well, it’s not like Dae hasn’t anticipated this situation though, that’s why he has a plan B.

“Fine, but as compensation for this, you are helping me with a show I’m working on right now.” Dae immediately switches topic, to which Joon happily obliges “Sure.”

Unbeknownst to Joon, however, his action that day would serve to be the catalyst for him and Haseul’s reunion days later…