#losing a friend

[seasofjupiterx]

why does no one talk about how friends can break your heart so devastatingly intimately sometimes a million times worse than romantic partners

why does no one talk about friend break ups…

[chaosmagicwanda]

No matter how good you could be to somebody, no matter how much you love them, they can and will turn their backs on you.

[drowninginred]

Nobody prepares you for the heartache losing your best friend will cause you. Maybe for a relationship, but never for a friendship.

How utterly devastating it is to see your best friend pick someone over you, and little by little fades you out of their life. And all you can do is watch…

Watch how yet another person favors others over you. Prioritises anyone but you. Even though you had always prioritized them…

Watch how the person that was supposed to be your friend, treats you worst than a mere acquaintance would.

And all they leave you with is one question, one word: Why?

[robinsnestwoutrest]

How I’ve Been Feeling // A Friendship is Burning To Ashes (And I’m Not Sure If I’m Angry Or Just Tired)

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms // Tired - beabadoobee // ritikajyala // Tucker Edwards // aidashakur // Best Friend - Lauren Aquilina

[soliel-et-lune]

[dontknowwhyiam]

i don’t know if it hurt more to know you or to let you go

// pinterest // phoebe bridgers, waiting room // pinterest // audrey emmett // pinterest // vladimir nabokov // pinterest // steven espada dawson, elegy for the four chambers of my brother’s heart //

[greyaugustuspoetry]

I know we’re not talking right now

But I miss you so much

And now I’m crying on my walk home

Because I can’t see you anymore

-Grey Augustus

[unsentmails]

dear you,

i hate you for leaving, and i hate me for crying.

[whispersofthepurplevalley]

I see a lot of people talk about accepting the ultimate truth -- people die one day, and sometimes, they are our loved ones. And I see people who continue to ask the reason why we fear losing someone if we know that death is inevitable. Now that I think about it, I don't think it's necessarily the fear. It's the burden of stories we share with someone that we have to carry alone after them. Carrying memories for two can be heavy, and sometimes, they can make you lonely. I think it's the unpreparedness to take such a weighted responsibility that scare people.

Sabina Yesmin

[hauntedbythenarrative]

Nance and Barb

Richard Siken//Ocean Vuong//Finneas O'Connell//Beat me to it, Brendan Maclean//Old friends, Jasmine Thompson

[fuckingstupidgayperson]

ending a toxic friendship and feeling happier but then you have to change your matching home and lock screens, stop drawing your shared ocs, delete your pintrest boards together, and delete shared google docs, and then it really hits you:

theyre gone

[seasofjupiterx]

And then finally

It didn’t hurt anymore

[chaosmagicwanda]

It’s one thing to miss someone that’s no longer here but missing someone that’s still alive, that you can no longer talk to fucking sucks.

[feyti-odinsdottir]

It's embarrassing how long I'd wait

If someone told me you were coming

-Dear Somebody Me

I lost a friend

Just little bits of poetry

By FLH

[shadowsnblood]

All these poets and authors and philosophers talk about getting over romantic loves but no one ever taught me how get over you. How to deal with your absence when you were the first person in a while who I was confident would stay a little longer, if not forever. Watching you leave was not abrupt, it was gradual. Watching us fade away was like watching the slow withering away of a flower, death of beauty. Years of laughter, tears, love, quarrels, companionship slowly extinguishing because of the lack of fuel perhaps. I'm sorry I wasn't enough, I tried. And maybe you tried too. And maybe it was worth letting go of me over a stranger. It's okay I understand. I cannot make people stay and maybe it's my narcissism to blame. But I hope you're happy. I hope they're enough for you. Maybe their altruism will make them stay.

However, remember this, I never willing let go of anyone's hand but I do not cling on to those who wish to leave. I wish there was an easier way to say this but I didn't find one.

(-on losing platonic love.)

~V.J.C

(01.11.2023)

[borderlinebelle]

Someone in my life, someone that pursued a relationship with me, has put up a boundary and chosen to exit my life because I trigger them.

EDIT: Despite what I wrote earlier in the day while emotionally charged (see below…) I’m choosing to believe this decision is what’s best for the other person, so it will be what is best for me.

Sometimes people leave our lives for reasons that have nothing to do with us and everything to do with choosing to care for themselves first… and that’s okay. I’m trying not to internalize and to instead regroup and keeping moving forward in my search for more genuine human connection.

feel the feeling, sit with it, let it go, stretch: grow forward

🧠

Logically I understand this person is doing what they need to do to keep themselves safe but it’s guttting to have it confirmed that I’m the fucking problem.

baby really hurt me, crying in the taxi

he don't wanna know me

says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm

says it was poison

I left this friend on read on Monday while I wrapped up a 20 hour shift that went through the night. It was also my son’s birthday so after working those 20 hours I dragged my bones home to sing my son happy birthday. I fell asleep on the couch and then it was Tuesday and I was rushing to work where I got battered a bit by my inability to get things done on time and so I didn’t respond to him until I was walking into my home Tuesday and … I triggered him. My inability to communicate triggered him and for him it was the last straw.

I had probably triggered him a dozen times before. Too chaotic, too childish, too self absorbed, too scattered, too flighty, too much.

He said he thought he had a problem with alcohol and a problem with our friendship. He never did quit drinking but he sure as fuck quit me.

Too much. Too much. Too much. Between the bpd and the adhd… Always too much.

I thought this person was my friend. I … do not understand why I am so delusional in believing I can make an actual friend but it’s exhausting to keep trying.

People, men in particular, will seek me out looking to fill their needs… she’s so full of life, she’s so funny, she’s so pretty, she’s so wonderful, she’s got such a “good heart”.

I try to be open and kind and honest and myself… I stupidly allow myself to be VULNERABLE…. again and again … and then once they’re done with me, it’s directly to the nearest trash. 🚮

the truth is I am a toy that people enjoy

‘til all of the tricks don't work anymore

and then they are bored of me

i know that it's exciting running through the night, but

every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone

better on my own

I’m so toxic he can’t even speak to me anymore. 🙂

Everybody agrees.

Friends communicate. Friends work it out. Friends … TRY. Were you ever really my friend? Why not communicate with me? Maybe we both could have grown… but it’s not even worth the fucking effort. I’m not even worth the effort.

The reality of being the manic pixie dream girl is so fucking lonely and gutteral. It’s being the fucking pretty positive ray of sunshine everyone wants to talk to, but the person no one wants once they get to know.