was this written to solve my own inconsistencies because i keep forgetting Eddie literally hotwired the RV, they don’t need keys, why do you keep mentioning keys, you fool? maybe. do i also think they’d be this stupid? yes. ❤️
“Oh, son of a bitch,” Dustin says, midway to The War Zone.
Steve, who is used to this sort of outburst for things as mild as Dustin forgetting just one out of the eight pens on his person, does not react.
However Eddie—Hellfire rants aside—is not quite as familiar yet. He jumps practically a foot in the air.
“Jesus Christ, what now?”
All Dustin offers by way of explanation is an accusatory, “You,” pointing his finger right in Eddie’s face.
And then Eddie sees what’s dangling from said finger.
“… Oh.”
“What?” Steve says, glancing at the rearview mirror; Eddie quickly blocks Dustin from view, goes right up on his tiptoes and spreads his arms wide, curses when Dustin throws the keys—
—to Max, who catches them one-handed, who gives Eddie a grin that’s not so much pitying as it is evil, and then she—
—throws them to Lucas, and he somehow gets the metal ring to land on his finger, like he’s in a movie, and he twirls them round and round until Max snorts, and he grins like that had been his aim all along.
“Sinclair,” Eddie says, “I am begging you.”
“I’m not hearing much about what’s in it for him,” Erica says.
Aha! Eddie zeroes in on Erica and blocks her from Lucas, like a very unjust game of Keep Away.
“Dude,” Lucas says, affronted, “that’s not fair.”
Eddie has the decency to look a bit ashamed. Not too ashamed to stop because he is a pathetic man, but at least Steve still hasn’t noticed the—
“Lucas,” Erica says, in the aggrieved tones of a sister who’s despaired at him many, many times. “You’re on the basketball team. Just do a pass fake, nerd.”
Lucas feigns to the left, and Eddie falls for it—but, in what he’s sure is a completely unsportsmanlike move, he uses his height to his advantage, jumps…
And drops the keys with a clatter.
Steve must instantly recognise the sound for what it is, because he starts to cackle.
Eddie’s only saving grace is that Steve is driving, so at least he can’t see—
“Eddie’s going, like, super red in the face right now,” Dustin narrates helpfully.
“Scarlet,” Lucas says.
“Vermillion,” Robin pipes up from the floor.
“Ooh,” Dustin, Lucas, and Max chorus, impressed. Jesus Christ, they almost harmonize.
“Yeah, Eddie,” Steve says dryly, “you fucking moron. How did you miss those, it’s not like you had literally anything else on your mind.”
“You’re a real gentleman, Harrington, anyone ever told you that?” Eddie says weakly.
“Maybe once or twice,” Steve says, drawing it out teasingly, as if he means not often enough.
“Well, at least we got on the road,” Nancy says. Her voice quivers like she’s trying not to laugh—perched on the table, eyes shining with amusement. “And it did look pretty cool, Eddie.”
Eddie thinks this is an incredibly generous assessment, considering his main thought while breaking into the RV had been don’t get stuck in the window, Jesus Christ.
And then… like, he didn’t expect Steve to actually come up and watch him hotwire the damn thing, like, with rapt attention, so close that Eddie was kinda concerned he’d electrocute himself instead. Honestly, it was a miracle he got the engine started.
“That’s sweet of you, Wheeler, but I’m self-aware.”
“Since when?” Erica says.
Underneath everyone’s laughter, Steve grins and says, “Hey, don’t worry, man.” He catches Eddie’s eye in the rearview mirror, winks. “It was an educational experience.”
“Oh, wow, your face is even redder.”
“Henderson, I’m gonna put those goddamn keys so far up your ass.”
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