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#love it when he’s just guessing peoples passwords first try and having phone on their phones :3 let him play it’s fine !!
milimeters-morales · 1 year
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Peter: where’s my phone ??
Miles already selling his apartment, leaking his address, signing him up for the military, and accepting a marriage proposal from a nigerian prince:
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corrodedcoffins-blog · 3 months
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The boys finding out about Y/n
luke hughes x actress reader
word count: 1.1 k
note: fr loving these two so much at the moment!
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It was summer at the lake house, a time Luke usually loved. Not to say he wasn’t having fun with his brothers and friends on the lake everyday, he just desperately missed his girlfriend. Missed being able to call or text her at any time, with her being in Scotland filming a movie they were in different time zones, and he had yet to tell his brothers and friends about her yet so he couldn’t even bitch to anyone about it. In Luke's time he could only chat with her from lunch to dinner time, of course the time of day he was most busy with the people there.
Today was a more casual day with the boys staying in the backyard of the house. So finally Luke had time to text Y/n, sitting inside at the kitchen island, only him inside everyone else had made their way outside. So engrossed in the text conversation he was having, Luke didn’t notice his brother walking into the kitchen.
Jack walked into the kitchen looking for another beer, what he hadn’t thought he’d find was his little brother’s eyes glued to his phone, blushing, so obviously talking to a girl. And being an older sibling, an older brother at that, it was his job to tease Luke about girls. Quinn did to him, so he has to for Luke. Do unto others what others have done unto you. That's how the saying goes, right? 
“What’s got you so smiley?” the boy asked, in a sing-song voice. Causing Luke’s head to shoot up, not knowing Jack was even in the room. He decides to respond, casually so as to not cause suspicion, “Nobody.” he replies, turning his phone face down on the island.
“Sure didn’t look like nobody.” grabbing a beer from the fridge, Jack leans over the counter of the island opposite to Luke, continuing, “Lukey, you can tell me.” “It’s not that I can’t tell you, it’s that I don’t want to.” “That’s rude, why don’t you want to tell me?” “Cause you won’t believe me.” On Luke’s side that was probably the dumbest thing to say at that moment, just a prompt for Jack to continue asking until Luke caves and just tells him. But he never said he was good at thinking through his decisions, that’s how he ended up with Y/n in the first place. And to Jack, what the fuck does that mean, know he has to know. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Nothing.” the younger brother says, quickly, getting up to grab a drink, as to look more casually and not like he was freaking out inside. “That’s fine, you don’t have to tell me.” Jack concluded, walking outside to the group, beer in hand. That set off a couple red flags in Luke’s head, Jack came to the conclusion of giving up far too fast by Jack standards. After pondering for a moment, the boy quickly turns to where he was sitting, no longer seeing his phone where he sat it nicely, face-down, on the counter. He then hears distantly from outside, “Lukey has a girlfriend!” This causes him to run outside in an instant.
“What’s your password Lukey.. Or do I not want to see it?” Jack’s comment caused the guys to laugh at Luke’s expense. “Jack give me my phone.” “Jack give him his phone.” Quinn buts in, still laughing at Luke's expense but having some mercy on him, but when Jack doesn’t acknowledge Quinn or Luke’s demand. Then of course the worst of the worst happens, a notification pops up on Luke’s phone. “Who is this from?” the boy holding the phone says, looking at the screen and seeing the contact name ‘y/n (heart x3)’ 
Luke didn’t even try to fight for his phone anymore, he guesses deep down he wanted something like this to happen. He wanted to at least tell his brothers this summer, but as summer continued he just couldn’t muster up the courage to tell them, and it coming out like this was jumping right into the deep end and maybe that was what he needed.
“...Y/n? You’re talking to a girl with the same name as Y/n L/n?” “This crush is becoming more of an obsession, hughesy.” Alex adds onto Jack's point. “It’s because it is her.” Luke finally confesses, walking over and snatching his phone from his brother.
“Yeah fucking right! No offence Lukey.. But not in your wildest dreams.” “Oh, Taylor reference.” “It is her, and I can prove it to you.” In his heart he knew he didn’t have to because she loved him, and he loved her. But god, Luke wanted to prove it to see the look on his brother’s and friends’ faces. “Okay go ahead.” And with that Luke sent Y/n a text saying, ‘Is it okay if we call for you to meet my brothers?’ Luke knew it would be a yes, Y/n had been asking when she would get to meet his brothers, it was always Luke who softly shot it down. And the answer is if fact clearly yes when he gets a facetime call, that he accepts right away. “Yes. I want to meet your brothers! Where are they?” “Hey we’re here too!” Cole yells, in reference to him, Alex, Trevor, and Dylan. 
Luke sets up his phone to lean on a cup, which was on the small table next to his chair. “Hi! I’m- wait have you intro- I just will. I’m Y/n!” The girl on the small phone says, waving enthusiastically. “Trust, we know.” Alex mumbles, himself and everyone else in shock.
“Holy shit.” “No fucking way” “You should come here and actually meet us.” 
“Is he paying you?” After Dylan said this, Luke put an end to this meeting. “Okay, I’m leaving because I only have this next half hour with her. I’ll be in my room.” All the boys watched as Luke walked back into the house. “I can’t believe that.”
“Sorry about them.” Luke mumbles, closing the door to his room. “Don’t be, I’ve been wanting to meet them.. What would you think of me coming there like, I think it was Trevor said..” “I would say, come at your own risk.” The girl chuckles, grabbing her planner and bringing it onto her lap. “I leave Scotland late tomorrow, then I fly to New York for a photoshoot, but that will only be for that day. I was planning on staying there just because I didn’t have plans but I can go see you instead.” “Are you sure, cause it’s going to be what just happened times ten.” “I’m sure, I want to actually meet your brothers where you can’t just walk me away from them when you get embarrassed. And to meet your parents.” “Okay. I’m excited to see you.” “I am too, I’ve missed you so much.” 
The couple continued to talk for the half an hour they had, before Y/n had to leave for the cast dinner. And when Luke returned to the group, it was never ending questions. 
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life's not fair, but it could be (not old enough ch. 7)
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pairing: leon kennedy x reader
cw: masturbation, idk? surprises?
summary: a mysterious stranger arrives with advice, you receive some life-changing news, and then your love returns, but will he accept you back, after all that's happened?
word count: 6.2k
ao3 link
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At this point phone sex would be a gift from god. You were doing things the old fashioned way, which took longer. You were lazy and broke, so you decided not to take a trip to the mall and buy a vibrator. You could’ve bought one online, but it’d take forever to come - ha! Just like you. It wasn't really that funny anymore, though. It was actually quite frustrating. You were beginning to reconsider an errand to Spencers, or an equivalent, but the awkwardness one feels in the sex toy section of those stores is unparalleled. You really have no allies in the sex toy section, do you? It’s full of gross grown men who stare at your ass and giggly teenagers.
Leon didn’t have anything fun in his house. You looked. You were hoping you could find a dildo buried in a dresser or a playboy under the bed. Not that you really felt like getting off to a playboy magazine, but some reading material would help you pass the time until your boyfriend came back from his heroic quest across the world. 
There was a cucumber in the fridge, but that would require a new level of desperation and courage that was surely not worth it, considering the shame and the possibility of infection. God, what if you ended up on that show “Sex Sent Me to the ER” for getting a cucumber stuck up your - 
Wait. What was Leon’s computer password? Leon had two laptops in his house - one in the bedroom and one in his office. You were not to touch the one in his office under any circumstances because you didn’t have “top secret clearance and the government would send an army of men to kill you in your sleep if you so much as pressed one key” or something like that. But, Leon never said anything about the computer in his bedroom. You’d bet your savings on the fact that this bedroom computer was 100% certainly for porn. A laptop is portable, so why have two for work? What else is a computer for? Facebook? Instagram? YouTube? No, Leon is 41 years old. It is for porn. 
There were only two questions: How to get in? And what’s inside?
You took out a pen and paper to write out possible password combinations, so you could pick the ones you deemed optimal, not wanting to risk locking yourself out of the computer by guessing everything your mind could conjure up. 
What do people have as their passwords? Mother’s maiden name? Childhood pets? Birthday? Girlfriend’s name? 
“Hell yeah!” you said to the empty room when you guessed correctly on the first try. It was your first name. No numbers or symbols. Dumbass. 
There wasn’t anything saved locally, so you had to go to the internet and hope that he hadn’t deleted his search history. Yeah, you could just search up whatever you wanted to watch, but what’s the fun in that? You typed “P” into the search bar and the first thing that came up was Pornhub. Is Leon really that horny? Ew, gotta check the desk chair for jizz stains. Nothing you hadn’t tasted before.
You looked at his recent searches when you clicked on the site.
Amateur, lesbian, creampie. Pretty basic, nothing to do with stepmoms or women getting stuck in washing machines. How do they even get in there in the first place? What does sex have to do with getting them out? Your mind trailed off for a moment contemplating porn premises - maybe this was why you couldn’t get off...
Oh. There was something interesting. One word: Daddy. 
If only you could look at the time he’d searched it up. Was it after you’d called him that? Or had Leon always wanted to be your daddy? You clicked on some stuff with 'daddy' in the title, and tried to get into it, but it wasn’t Leon. That man in the video isn’t daddy, not to you. It wasn’t enough to get you off, not even close. 
Back to square one. You decided to search through your photo gallery. Leon’s face - hot. Leon sleeping shirtless - a little creepy, but hot. Leon straight out of the shower - really hot. Looking at Leon with a towel hanging around his waist was enough for your fingers to find their way back to your clit.
Leon wasn’t hairy per se, but he did have a nice happy trail leading from his belly button down to what you really wanted. The towel was riding low on his hips and you could see it, could almost see further. 
Finally getting a little excited, you continued to sift through your Leon catalog. The next picture had a perfect shot of that five o’clock shadow, the one that tickled your thighs when his face was between them. His lips, so soft against your skin, his nose that would press against your clit anytime he tongue-fucked you. 
Jackpot, A video. Of Leon. You were eternally grateful to past-you who took tons of pictures and videos, but especially this one. It was Leon, getting ready in the morning, so ridiculously mundane, but his raspy, deep morning voice. 
“Mornin’, Baby. What are you doing?” he asked. 
Touching myself halfway across the world from you, daddy.
This was way better than porn. Leon’s laugh once he realized you were filming. Hot. Leon slipping on a t-shirt, showing off his perfect physique... and the happy trail again. Hotter . Leon buckling his belt - unbuckling would be better, but clinking sound had long ago linked itself to the moment before you’d have him. Have him in your mouth, have him on top of you, have you on top of him. In bed, in the car, in the bar bathroom. Have him inside you however he wanted.   
You remembered his thumbs playing with your nipples, hands running down your sides, gripping your hips, pushing you down, so he could thrust up into you harder. If only your hands were Leon’s hands. Leon’s big hands. Leon’s big dick. Leon. Leon. Leon. Oh Leon . 
It’s a shame he wasn’t there to hear you moan out his name. 
Fucking finally. All you had to do was look at a video of the man. Yeah, you were fucked. No, you weren’t fucked, but you’d like to be. 
That night, you were up late, bored out of your mind. And lonely, very lonely. This was retribution for cheating on Leon. In a fit of every single emotion known to mankind, you betrayed the man you loved.
You made your bed, now go lie in it, you thought.
You were sitting on the couch, trying to balance the line between self-pity and self-loathing, while biding your time by watching rom-com after rom-com. The Holiday, When Harry Met Sally, Jerry Maguire. All of 'em.
The doorbell rang. The little unmistakable jingle bounced off the high ceilings and echoed through the room. Did you order strippers in your drunken stupor the night before? Was a serial killer dumb enough to ring your doorbell? Who the fuck was on Leon’s doorstep at midnight?
You got up and looked through the peephole before opening the door. On the front porch stood a woman -  a short black bob, maybe 5’7”, looked to be in her 30s, a bit overdressed for the occasion, but most of all, drop-dead gorgeous. Doesn't matter how straight you thought you were, you weren't not going to let her in. 
“Um, hi,” you said, cracking the door open, enough to lean your head out, but hopefully not enough for her to see your pajamas. 
“Hello,” she said, “Can I come in?”
“Are you looking for Leon? Because he’s not home.”
“I know he’s in Moscow. I’m looking for you.”
Was the government coming to kill you for breaking into Leon’s computer? Did the government monitor his porn too?
“Are you Hunnigan?”
She was the only person you could think of who would know Leon's location.
“My name is Ada.”
Ada . Leon’s infatuation began to make sense. 
“Okay,” you said and let her in, god knows why. Maybe you could pry more information out of her, but based on what Chris had told you, you weren’t optimistic. 
“You can sit down if you want,” you offered, trying to be a good hostess.
“Thanks,” Ada said and sat down on the living room chair. 
“Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’m okay. Thanks.”
You downed a glass of water because your mouth had dried up completely in the last five or so minutes. As not to keep your guest waiting, you returned to the living room. You looked around at the cluttered room, blankets strewn around, an empty bowl of popcorn, the TV still on. 
“Sorry. I would’ve cleaned up if I knew you were coming over.”
“It’s not a problem,” she said, “Is this 10 Things I Hate About You?” 
“Yeah,” you said, pausing the TV, “have you seen it?”
“I have. I don’t usually like rom-coms, but I like this one.”
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, you thought to yourself. You already had two things in common: you liked to watch the same movies and fuck the same man. 
You sat down on the couch, facing Ada. “If you don’t mind me asking, Why are you here?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Leon.”
Alright. No beating around the bush with this woman.
“You love him, right?” she asked. 
“Yeah, I do. A lot.”
You felt uneasy. It sounded like the beginning of a ransom note. “You love him, right? Wire me 10 million dollars by the end of the day if you want to see him again”. You were completely off-base in your suspicions, however. 
“That’s good. He deserves someone who loves him.”
“You’re right. He does. He deserves someone way better than me.”
She waited in silence for you to continue. She seemed oddly unbothered by your guilty demeanor, but was clearly unsatisfied with your vagueness.
“I cheated,” you said quietly, unable to meet her prying gaze. 
“Okay. Not a great look for you. Does he know?”
“No, but I’m gonna tell him. I know it’ll break his heart, but I can’t lie to him,” you divulged way more to her than you’d intended to, but she was a good listener, “I wish I could take it back. I hate myself for doing it.”
“We all feel that way sometimes, but what’s done is done.”
Her nonchalance was getting to you. Is this how she felt about what she did with Leon?
“Can I ask you something?”
She didn’t respond, just waited for you to speak again.
“Did Leon tell you we were together?”
“He didn’t, but I did suspect there was someone. The signs were there - bobby pins on the bathroom counter, a thong in his laundry basket, you know, things a man wouldn’t have without a woman.”
“Why did you do it?” you asked the question that’d been bouncing around your mind since you’d let her in the house. 
Did you really want the answer? Yeah, no matter how much it might hurt, it was worth knowing.
“Why did he do it? Why did you do it?” she said.
You agreed with Chris’ assesment - mysterious. Mysterious had an undeniable allure, but it did not answer your questions, only posed more. Despite your frustration, you ended up answering her.
“I don’t know. I guess I just wasn’t thinking. I was pissed at him for sleeping with you and I was lonely.”
Talking to Ada felt similar to going to therapy, but if your therapist was the oracle at Delphi with her cryptic sort of guidance.
“I see,” she said, looking you up and down with her x-ray-like eyes. Ada, to your surprise, gave you her explanation in return, “He gives me a sort of love that I don’t deserve, and that I can’t get from anyone else, and he’s stuck in the past. He thinks of me as a person that doesn’t exist anymore. We like the people we pretend to be.”
“Do you think he’s stuck on you?”
“In some way, maybe, in the way that we all get stuck in the past, all too stubborn to change, but I still think that given the choice, he’d pick you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I spoke to him, recently, in Moscow. He talked about you.”
Un-fucking-fair that she got to see him. What if they-?
“Did you guys do anything?”
“No. I proposed the idea to him, and he said no. He said he’s in love.”
“And I broke his heart. I'm the worst person ever.”
You wanted to cry, bang your head against the wall, crumple up and die. 
“You’re not. You’re not, I’m not, Leon’s not. There are people in labs across the world creating viruses to wipe out millions. And they sleep well at night.”
“So, because other people suck worse, I should be okay with what I did?”
“No, but you’re young and naive. You make mistakes. I met Leon when he was around your age. He made worse mistakes because he was lusting after some woman,” Ada spoke of the past with a unique glint in her eye. Not quite nostalgia, but close.
You listened intently. She sure was interesting, that was for sure. 
“You got all wet over a second meathead of a man and cheated, but at least no one died,” she said matter-of-factly.
“I’m gonna break his heart. That’s like, practically killing him.” 
“You’re so dense. Perfect match for Leon.”
Ouch. 
“You care, Leon cares, and for some reason, I care enough to come here and try to play love-guru. You can work this out. You can give him a type of love that I cannot, and with all he’s been through, he deserves it.”
If Ada turned out to be just an apparition of your conscience, the angel and the devil on your shoulders, you wouldn’t be surprised. You’d despised her since the moment you found the condom in the trash can, despite the fact that you’d never met. It was easier to put it onto her than Leon. A faceless, nameless threat to your relationship. 
“I feel bad for hating you,” you apologized to her - not that she knew about your feelings in the first place. It just felt like the right thing to do. 
“Don’t. You have a right to be angry.”
“Do you wanna stay over?” You asked pathetically, still looking for friends wherever you could find them.
“Even more like Leon than I thought,” she said, and this time it didn’t seem like a jab. Her face said she found you a bit charming. “I can’t. I have somewhere I have to be,” she let you down easy.
“Well, I hope to see you again soon.”
She hesitated, but said, “Likewise.”
You hugged her before she left, which clearly took her by surprise. She was rigid in your arms, but seemingly tried to loosen up a bit, and gave you a friendly pat on the back.
At the door, she turned back and said, “Have you had your period recently?”
“Uh, no, why?”
“Take a test.”
You knew what kind of test she was talking about, but what in the fucking world? You didn’t have time to ask, though because she was already gone, practically disappearing into thin air. 
Leon had now been gone for around four weeks at this point. Still lonely, still guilty, but starting to feel a little nauseous in a way that couldn’t be accounted for by any of those feelings you had. 
You assumed Ada was just taking a shot in the dark with her whole ‘take a test’ thing, but maybe she was onto something. 
Your period wasn’t always on time, sure, but there was a normal range and it was obvious to you, even without tracking the days, that it had been too long since your last one. You really should’ve been more diligent about taking your birth control pills. “You’re young, you make mistakes.” Maybe this was what Ada meant.
You bought a pregnancy test. You spent five minutes waiting for the results to appear, sitting on the toilet while the plastic stick was next to you on the bathroom counter. You could easily glance over, but you didn’t dare look until you knew the five minutes were up. 
You took a deep breath, crossed your fingers, and picked up the test. 
Two lines. Clear as day. Couldn’t be a hallucination. At best, it could be a false positive. Luckily, you had purchased a three-pack, so a few hours later you took another one. 
Two lines. 
For good measure - though you were pretty sure two false positives would be so rare is was almost impossible - you took the third. 
Two lines.  
Good things do not come in threes. Three pairs of two little lines and one pregnant woman, alone in her bathroom. Good things do not come in any number. Good things do not happen to you. 
You had to tell Leon. But you’d have to get through Hunnigan first. You’d have to get to Hunnigan first. 
It was difficult to get her contact info, but you were persistent. Reluctantly, you called Claire, Jill, even Chris. None of them had any way to contact her. Claire however, gave you Sherry’s number. The little girl turned DSO agent he’d mentioned.
Sherry, god bless her, had Hunnigan's number and was nice enough to give it to you. You made the call and picked up on the first ring. 
“Hello?” Hunnigan's voice was more pleasant than you expected. Based on the fact that Leon was always so stressed when he picked up her calls, you'd expected her to be rude or aggressive.
“Hi, you don’t know me, but I’m Leon’s girlfriend”. You sounded like a high schooler when you said it like that. 
“Okay,” she said in a neutral tone, waiting for more information. 
“I need to speak with him.”
“I’m sorry, but that would go against all protocol.”
“It’s really important.”
“I understand that, but his life is on the line, and I cannot let him get distracted.”
“Please, just trust me, it’s so important. You have no idea.”
“What do you need to tell him? Maybe I can relay the message.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Oh.”
Yeah, ‘oh’ is right.
There was a pause before you asked for the second time, “Can I talk to him?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that. It would give him extra things to worry about, and he’s already incredibly overworked and stressed right now. Distraction can be the direct cause of death. I cannot have him get distracted by anything. It’s for his own safety, and I hope you can understand that.”
You wanted to tell her to fuck off or to force her to patch you through, but instead you just hung up. Great. You’re pregnant and alone. 
There were countless unanswered questions, making you feel queasier than you did before. 
How can I tell my parents? How can I tell anyone? Who do I even have to tell? What should I do? Give birth in 8 months or get an abortion? What would Leon want? What if Leon doesn’t even want me back?
The one you typed into the search bar was: How do I get rid of morning sickness? You spent the following few hours curled up on the bathroom floor. No, this was your retribution. 
As much as you felt like you should keep it to yourself for a while, you ended up having lunch with Jill. You figured it would be better to not speak to Chris, and on the off chance that you couldn’t keep your big mouth shut, you were wary about speaking to Claire for the time being. That whole situation was one you needed to talk out with Leon before anyone else. Jill seemed like a safer option. Plus, she gave off such a mature, pragmatic vibe that made you feel like she’d be the type of person you’d want to call for advice. To be honest, she reminded you a lot of Leon. Maybe if you could tap into her thinking, you could tap into Leon’s on some level. 
Jill offered to buy you lunch - a friend and a meal was a win-win. You convinced her to go to a diner with you, not letting her in on your little secret until later. You were already getting cravings - milkshakes, pickles, you name it. 
At some point during your meal, you couldn’t keep hold of the secret any longer, it was eating you up inside. 
“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out.
Jill spit out her soda. 
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” 
Dammit! You had the worst track record with making friends. 
“It’s okay,” she said, wiping herself off with a napkin. 
She stared at you for a moment once she’d finished dabbing the spill out of her clothes. 
“Wait, you’re serious?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit. That’s…”
“Not great, yeah, I know.”
“It sucks that you have to go through that alone. I shouldn’t even ask because it’s none of my business, but have you thought about what you’re going to do?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“It’s a scary decision, but I’m here for you no matter what you choose, and I’m sure Leon would feel the same.”
“You think?”
“Positive. He’s a good guy underneath all of the bullshit. Plus, he’s crazy about you.”
“I just wish I could tell him.”
“I know. I wish there was a way I could help you there, but I can’t. I have no way of reaching him. Did you end up getting in touch with Hunnigan? Is that why you asked for her number?”
“Yeah, I did, and Claire gave me Sherry’s number who gave me Hunnigan’s.”
“I assume Hunnigan said you couldn’t talk to Leon.”
“Yep.”
“That fucking sucks. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, but I’m glad I have people here who are good to me, like you, for example.”
You realized that may have sounded a little bit cheesy, but what the heck, you thought, you were a pregnant woman, dealing with hormonal changes, it was okay to get sappy. 
“Yeah, you have me. And Claire, and Chris, and I guess you know Sherry now, too.”
It was definitely not time to tell Jill about the situation with Chris. One bombshell was enough for one lunch outing. 
You ended up talking to Claire as well, managing to keep the Chris situation out of the conversation. 
“Hey, how are you doing?” Claire greeted you with a hug. 
“I’m okay.”
You weren’t feeling super well, so you’d invited her over to your place - well, Leon’s place - rather than asking her to go out with you. 
“You sure? You’re looking a little pale. Do you think you could be coming down with something?”
“No, no, I’m fine. I mean, I’m - I’m pregnant.”
“Congratulations?”
You shook your head.
“I’m sorry?”
You gave her a little hand gesture to indicate that her answer was “close enough" to whatever reaction the situation should've warranted. Honestly, there wasn't a perfect reaction to that kind of news.
“Now you know why I’ve been sticking around the house.”
“Morning sickness?”
“Yeah. It sucks.”
“Sure does. Not that I’ve ever experienced it, but I’ve seen it in action and it takes a strong woman to be able to handle it.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m very strong when I’m sobbing into a toilet bowl.”
“Have you gotten in touch with Leon? I know I gave you Sherry’s number…”
“I did talk to Sherry, and she gave me Hunnigan’s info, but Hunnigan wouldn’t let me talk to Leon.”
“Did you tell her you’re pregnant?”
“Yeah.”
“And she still wouldn’t let you talk to him?”
“Nope.”
“I would rarely ever say this about another woman because I think it’s pretty sexist, but what a bitch! I can’t believe she’d do that to you.”
“I definitely thought that at first, but I know she’s just trying to protect him. Who knows how he’d take the news.”
“I’m sure he’d just wanna be there for you.” She put an arm around your shoulder. 
“I hope so. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do in this situation.”
“There isn’t a ‘supposed to’. You do what’s right for you, and you only. Don’t worry about what anyone else might think because I’ll be there for you, and so will Leon, and everyone else.”
“You sure?”
“100%”
“Have you made an appointment yet?”
“For?”
“With an Obgyn. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to go to one. No matter what you choose.”
“I guess I have to make one, then.”
“I could go with you, if you’d like.”
“Really?”
“Mhm. I know it’s not the same as Leon, but you shouldn’t have to go alone.”
And she did accompany you. The nurse asked if you two were partners and you explained that she was just a friend. The nurse seemed hesitant to let ‘just a friend’ come with you into the ultrasound room, but when she saw Claire holding your shaky hand, she let go of whatever was holding her back from allowing Claire to accompany you. 
The gel they put on your stomach is cold. The thing that looks like a grocery store scanner that they use to look into your uterus feels weird. They press harder into your skin with that one than you’d think. Claire holding your hand kept you from swatting the woman’s hand away. 
The three of you studied the monitor, though the nurse was the only one who could really tell what was going on.
“I can see an embryo in there.”
You sighed, letting reality sink in.
“I can see that you’re nervous. I won’t pry into your situation, but just know that there are many options available and no one is here to judge you for whatever you choose.” 
“Thanks,” you said simply. 
She was nice, but it didn’t make the choice any easier. It was tiring to hear everyone say ‘we support you’ and ‘we won’t judge you’, when all you wanted was for someone to tell you what to do. Ideally, you wanted Leon's input. You'd still have to make your own choice, but it'd be nice to hear his thoughts, considering he got you knocked up in the first place, and you definitely couldn't afford to take care of a baby on your own. 
You saw the doctor briefly and told her you’d think over your decision, but when she was about to leave the room, you remembered the dream you’d had the night before. You held a newborn baby in your arms while Leon doted on you both. Real life was never as perfect as it was in your dreams, but you could see a real future like that with him. 
“What if I want to keep the baby?” you asked when the doctor returned.
“That’s one of the multiple valid choices. If you decide that, I would suggest you book another prenatal appointment about a month or so out from now.”
“Where can I do that?”
“I can give you a slip to take to the front desk and they can get you set up.”
You and Claire were alone for a moment while you redressed. 
“So, you’ve made your decision?” she asked. 
“Yeah, I think so. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think Leon would want me to choose this?”
“I can’t speak for Leon, but I’m sure he would want you to do what you think is best.”
The diplomatic answer.
“But if it were up to him, would he want to be a father?”
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think it was in his plans, at least, not for some time. You know, he’s been through some shit, and his job is hardcore. He’d be a good dad, though.”
“You think?”
“Oh yeah. If only you could’ve met him when Sherry was a kid. He was so good with her, sometimes in a way that I couldn’t be. I mean, I like to think I was a good mother figure for her, but he was a really good father figure. So, if I had to guess, I'd say that in any other life, Leon would’ve been a father already. If Raccoon City never happened, I think he’d be a dad.”
“Well, what about in this life?”
“It seems like he’s already on his way to fatherhood, and he doesn’t even know it.”
It was late in your first trimester when you got a call, a good call, the call you’d been waiting for. 
“Hey, baby, I’m coming home,” Leon said, so blissfully ignorant of the situation that it stung.
Still, you were overjoyed to hear his voice. 
“Yay! You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you,” you said.
“I actually do. I’ve been missing you for the same amount of time.”
Oh yeah. That’s true. Brain fog. 
You weren’t going to tell him over the phone. He’d have a heart attack. The hours waiting for him felt longer than all the weeks he’d been away combined. 
When he got home, Leon settled on the couch with his feet up while you paced the room. He had a glass of whiskey - something you thought he’d given up, but you weren’t going to judge him for it. He was clearly exhausted and honestly, it might be better if he mellowed out a little before you gave him the news. 
“Baby, what’s up?”
“I gotta tell you something. Actually, multiple things. Don’t freak out.”
Not yet at least . 
“Okay… You wanna sit next to me while you tell me?”
You sat down next to him, still restless. 
“Do you want the bad news or the… surprising news first?”
“Good news?”
You shook your head. “Let me just get the bad news off my chest because it’s making me sick not telling you.”
The other news is making me feel sick too, but for a slightly different reason. 
“Okay…” Leon’s inquiring eyes seemed onto what you were about to say.
“I cheated on you and I’m really really really sorry.”
You broke down immediately, and his instinct to protect you took over any anger he felt. He held you in his arms and rubbed your back.
“Breathe, baby.”
“I’m so sorry, Leon. I love you, and I ruined everything. I fucked it all up because I was lonely and pissed off at you for what you did with Ada.”
“I understand,” he said with a sigh. He wasn’t happy, that was for sure, but he continued to soothe you with his steady, reassuring hands. 
Once you’d stopped crying, Leon said, “Who was it?” He was firm, but not angry 
“Chris,” you said, already on the verge of tears again, “I’m so so so sorry.”
Your words came out all in one breath, all laced with anxiety. Your whole world was about to crumble in front of you.
“Stop saying you’re sorry! It’s not helping either of us. I understand that you’re sorry.”
He’d never been harsh with you before. It was unsettling. The waterworks returned.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used that tone with you. Even if I’m upset, that was wrong of me to snap at you.” Leon pressed you to his chest while he apologized and you could feel his heartbeat. Fast, and yet he was so focused on calming you. 
“How exactly did this come about?” He asked. 
“I was really lonely and so I texted Claire, but I was too shy to tell her that I wanted to hang out so I asked her if she knew how to change your AC, and she said no, but she could send Chris and I just accepted because I couldn’t tell her the truth about the AC…”
To your surprise, Leon was laughing.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because that’s hilarious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still upset about you cheating, but it just sounds like a dumb porn plot. You can’t figure out the stupid air conditioner so you have to call the maintenance man to come fuck you about it.”
After he got his giggling out, he sighed and said, “I doubt the rest is funny, but I still think I should know what happened.”
“It just happened.”
“What happened?”
“We made out and he…” You made a motion indicating ‘fingering’. 
“And then?” He sounded impatient, probably thinking you were holding back something. 
Well, you were, but not about the cheating. 
“And then nothing. Haven’t spoken to him since.”
“You fucked up, that’s for sure.”
“But please don’t get mad at him. He was the one who stopped me when I offered to ‘return the favor’. He told me not to tell you because he felt really bad and didn’t want to ruin our relationship. He wants you to be happy.”
“That doesn’t make him better than you.”
“I know.”
“You said you were pissed at me? That’s why you did it?”
“I missed you and was pissed at the whole world, but mostly because I asked Chris about who you slept with and I basically forced him to tell me, and he told me about Ada. Just hearing about your relationship with her and thinking about her in your bed and how you just expected me to never find out.”
You couldn’t hide the lingering bitterness when you thought about him intentionally hiding her from you. 
“I know. It was wrong of me to do that, and I’m sorry. There’s no relationship, though, just so you know. Me and Ada, we've never been in a relationship.”
“But you love her.”
“I do not love her.”
“But you did.”
“Maybe, but things change. I might’ve loved her 20 years ago, but that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is us, and working our shit out.”
He still wants to work things out? Well, that’ll be short-lived. Might as well bite the bullet and spill.
“Can I tell you the other thing?”
“There’s more?” Leon gulped down the last of what was in his glass and poured himself the equivalent of a shot which he also downed before gesturing for you to continue. 
“So, the more shocking thing that I mentioned.”
“I don’t know what else could shock me more, but go ahead.”
“I’m pregnant.”
He was silent, looking at your stomach as if he didn’t believe you. You didn’t have a bump yet, but that was to be expected at this point in the pregnancy. 
“Do you wanna see the ultrasound?” you asked, feeling shy about it since you couldn't decipher his reaction. 
“You got an ultrasound?”
“Yeah, I’ve been to two appointments.”
“Alone?”
“No, Claire went with me.”
You got up and pulled the pictures of your purse.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he mumbled into his empty glass.
“Here,” you said, thrusting them at Leon. 
This was make or break. Your nerves made you feel sick to your stomach. Or maybe that was the morning sickness. 
“Wow,” he marveled at the pictures, “Where is it?”
“Here,” you pointed to the tiny embryo in the fuzzy black and white image.
“That’s in there?” he asked, pointing at your belly.
“Yep.”
“It’s not about me, but you have to make that choice pretty soon, don’t you?”
You couldn’t tell what he wanted from his tone, but you’d already made your choice. You were going to stick to your guns on this one. Yeah, you’d fucked up a lot recently, but this felt right. Unexpected, nerve-wracking, but somehow right. 
“I’ve been planning on keeping the baby... becoming a mom.”
“Okay. Then, I’ll be a dad.”
“Really? It’s that simple?”
“I think so.”
“But I fucked everything up and you have this weird job and we’re not married and -”
He cut you off with a kiss. “We’ll figure it out,” he said.
“You don’t hate me?”
“I never hated you.”
“Really? Even after everything?”
“Do you hate me? Even after everything I did?”
“No.”
“Then I think you understand.”
“Do you hate Chris?”
“No,” he sighed and paused, “but I’m going to have a talk with him. Does he know about the baby?”
“I haven’t told him.”
“Who knows? Other than Claire.”
“Jill and Hunnigan.”
“Hunnigan knows?”
“Yeah, I asked her to patch me through to you, so I could tell you, but she said no.”
“She said no?” Leon looked like he was about to snap again, you could see him tense up. 
“She was just looking out for you, didn’t want to let you get distracted and get yourself accidentally killed.”
“No, fuck that! I’m done with the DSO dictating everything about my life. They took away any plans for a normal life, a normal job, having normal friendships, every vacation I’ve ever tried to have, but now they’re fucking with my family? No. That’s it. I quit.”
Family? Family, you were going to be a family. Those pregnancy hormones were close to making you tear up.
“You said you can’t quit.”
“I’m going to.”
“What if they kill you?”
“They won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“I’d kill them first. They shouldn’t have trained me in combat if they wanted me to be a target.”
“You’re willing to put your life on the line?”
“I put my life on the line for way less for the last 3 months. For my kid? Hell yeah, I’ll put my life on the line.”
“Your kid,” you echoed, rubbing your tummy.
“Yeah, our kid, our little baby.”
Leon was smiling, really smiling. Okay, maybe good things do happen to you.
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five-rivers · 5 months
Text
Ancestral chapter 15
For Ectoberhaunt 2023 day 18: unravel!
.
We traveled to the Revyvtech offices.  At first, it seemed not unlike when we shadowed the young twins.  There were places we could not go, then, too.  
"Well," said Iris, as Danny translated, "Why didn't they investigate then?"
Do not think us incurious.  There are many things that can turn aside such weak spirits.  Not all of them are sinister, or even purposeful.  Some of our number cannot be far from their kin.  Some, their loves.  Some may only walk the paths they walked in life–
"Are you saying that there aren't any ghosts here who used to work for Revyvtech?" asked Iris.  
Gwensyvyr looked amused despite the horrific damage to her arm.  There are, but in their own accounts, they were not highly ranked, and are quite sure their passwords will no longer work.  
Danny wasn't so sure of that.  He wasn't a computer genius, as indicated by his 'plan' to hack Revyvtech, but he'd spent enough time helping Tucker to be embarrassed he hadn’t thought of asking.  He looked up hopefully at the other ghosts.  
“Sometimes people don’t change things like that right away,” he said.  Jazz came back in as he spoke, and Danny set the phone on the floor while he took the jar and a pair of plastic gloves from her.  “Maybe if we can find some people who only died recently, we could try out theirs?”
Some ghosts left the room.  Others engaged in hearty bouts of mime.  Others glared at him.
Gwensyvyr touched his arm with her uninjured hand, and gestured back at the phone.  They glare because they are troubled by my injury.  Danny was fascinated by the fact that Gwensyvyr seemed to have spontaneously reinvented texting lingo.  Although, it was possible that her current batch of spelling decisions just happened to look like that.  They should glare at me instead.  
The ghosts looked more or less appropriately chastized.
“Right,” said Danny.  “Okay.”  He unscrewed the lid of the jar.  “That doesn’t explain how you got hurt.”  He frowned at the cream.  “This works for me, but you’re intangible…  I don’t know if I can even put this on you.”
Gwensyvyr shrugged, then held out her arm.  
“Yeah, I guess there’s only one way to find out.”  He pulled on the gloves and scooped out a small amount of the cream.  Then he reached out, and to his surprise, was able to smear it on Gwensyvyr’s arm.  
Although, maybe it shouldn’t be such a surprise.  Ever since that first day, she and the other ghosts had been growing stronger.  Just now, she’d been able to touch him, and he’d been able to feel it, and she had at the Masque as well.  
“Oh,” said George.  “That’s– That’s really weird to look at.  Sorry, honored ancestor, but it is.”
Danny didn’t stop applying the cream.  “Do you see her?”
“Not.  Not really.  More like, I can tell there’s… something.  Like heat over a sidewalk.  Where you put the cream.”
“Are you seeing the cream?”
“I don’t think that’s it,” said Iris.  She sounded fascinated.  “It’s like looking at glass in water.”
Danny was honestly just relieved that it was working.  He took some more cream from the jar and continued up, past Gwensyvyr’s shoulder.  
It felt as if Danny were on the verge of a revelation.  As if he had the end of a string in his hand, and all he had to do was pull it to unravel the knot of this mystery.  But he was missing something.  Some puzzle piece, some scrap of information that would make this all make sense.  Or maybe what he was missing was perspective.  
Gwensyvyr had run into blood blossoms.  Probably at Revyvtech.  Blood blossoms hurt ghosts and half ghosts.  Gwensyvyr was growing stronger.  She was stronger than she’d been when Danny had first arrived.  
He finished rubbing in the cream and started peeling off the gloves.  “Can you tell us what happened now?” 
Gwensyvyr reached over and tapped the phone, which had gone dark.  It turned on.  
“Huh,” said Danny.  “Okay.”  He unlocked it and brought up the keyboard.  Gwensyvyr began to type.  
The building was largely empty, and we became frustrated.  I saw movement and light behind a door, and became convinced that secrets were being spoken of within.  But the space beyond it was one that was barred to us.  Once, before we grew so weak, I could defeat such barriers, push them aside.  I pushed.  The barrier defeated me, however.  Gwensyvyr gave Danny a wry smile.  Yet, in harming me, it revealed its nature.  Although it seems that you already know the name of the scourge.
“Blood blossoms, yeah,” said Danny.  
I thought them eradicated, or nearly so, wrote Gwensyvyr.  I must ask, how did you encounter them?
“One time was a fluke,” said Danny, not wanting to get into the time travel thing, “leftovers from the sixteen hundreds.  But then Mom and Dad found some old seeds and got them to grow.  They put them all away when they realized I was allergic, but–”
“Wait,” said Iris, “it’s something you’re allergic to?  The ghost you’re talking to was hurt by something you are allergic to in Revyvtech?”
Gwensyvyr nodded.  
“Yes?” said Danny.  
“What happened to–”  Iris swallowed.  “What happened to everyone but Vivian and Grandma Rose looked like an allergic reaction.”
Danny nodded.  He’d already been solidly convinced that Revyvtech was up to no good (see: the Vlad look-alike), but he knew that the others might have needed more convincing.  
They didn’t anymore.
But– Wait.  Wait.  “I’m pretty sure my reaction to blood blossoms is more of a syvyr thing than a family thing,” said Danny.  “Jazz didn’t react like I did, when we had them in the house.  Neither did Mom.  There’s nothing to say that anyone else is going to be allergic.”
“We didn’t try to eat them, though,” said Jazz, “and regular things like that - allergens - can be concentrated, can’t they?  Why not more supernatural allergens?”
“There’s another factor, if we’re taking all the, ah, magic to be true,” said Lewis.  “If this thing works on ghosts.”  He waved in the general direction of Gwensyvyr.  “Maybe it’s more myth than fact, or an artifact of someone screwing up a timeline, but Gwensyvyr was supposed to have had children with her dead husband.  A ghost.  Unless there’s some kind of nasty scandal lurking unknown in the family tree–”
“There definitely is,” said Eugene, “there are always scandals.”
“--we’re direct descendants of that union.”
“Do you think any of your ghosts know, Danny?” asked Iris.  “Any of them know Gwensyvyr when she was alive?”
“Um,” said Danny, looking sideways at Gwensyvyr.  “Yeah.  I mean, there’s probably someone.  Around.”
The door to the room opened up, which was a shock, because everyone was accounted for, except–
Oh.  It was Joanna.  She was still in her pajamas, but she had her phone in one hand.  
“What have you kids been doing?” she asked.  
Iris looked down at her phone, which she had, up until that moment, been using to interrogate Aunt Alicia’s security detail.  Everyone else looked at Lewis’s crime phone, which still showed the last thing Gwensyvyr had typed out.
“Investigating?” suggested Jazz.  
“Have you been up all night?” Joanna asked in faint horror.  Danny realized belatedly that most of them were still wearing pieces of their Masque costumes…  They were kind of surreal in the early morning light streaming through the windows. 
“We couldn’t sleep after hearing about Alicia,” said Eugene.
“And why did none of you wake me when you heard about this?”  Joanna waved her phone, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.
“You seemed really tired,” said Eugene, lamely.  
The more accurate answer, as far as Danny went, was that they were really tired, and then forgot.  
Joanna looked back at her phone and rubbed her eyes with her free hand.  “Why all these questions about Alicia’s medication?  I don’t understand–”
“We’re pretty sure that Revyvtech was involved in the poisoning,” said Danny.  “The first one.”
“Probably they were involved in the second one, too, with those special release capsules,” said Iris.
“I don’t know that they were that special,” said George.  
“Pretty sure?” asked Joanna.  “How sure is pretty sure?”
Danny turned to Gwensyvyr.  “Would blood blossoms have affected them like that?” 
Yes.
Which, of course, begged the questions of why– especially given that only some family members had been affected, and they’d apparently all been eating the same thing.  Still, details like that could be worked out later.  
“We know they at least have something that would act like the poison that killed everyone but Vivian,” said Danny.  
“The spirits…?” asked Joanna, not finishing the phrase.  
“Yeah,” said Danny.  
Joanna took a deep breath.  “Thank you, honored ancestors.”
Gwensyvyr gave Joanna a thumbs up.  Joanna jumped.  “Oh!  For a moment I thought–”  She shook her head and started pressing buttons on her phone.  
“What are you doing?” asked Eugene.  
“I’m calling your uncle,” she said.  
“He wasn’t picking up for us or for security.”
“He wasn’t being called on his personal phone.”
The phone rang, tinny and distant to Danny’s ears.  And rang.  And rang.  Joanna sniffled and switched to a different number.
“Who are you calling now?” asked Eugene.  
“Mr. Kynbaz - yes, on his personal phone.”
Oh, so everyone just had two phones, now, huh?  Good to know.  
This time, the phone was picked up.  Danny heard a tired “Joanna?” from the other side of the line.  
“Kevin,” said Joanna, “I need you to authorize an extraction for Alicia.”
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Text
Okay so there is this person, right? To protect his/their privacy, I’m referring to them as Mitch. This is nowhere near their actual name. He is a good friend of mine, and I am grinding my teeth in annoyance because they have a boyfriend who is a MAJOR red flag. The boyfriend guilt trips him over everything, forced them to cut off a bunch of their friends, tries to keep them from texting other people, and then it gets WORSE. The dude used to track them on Life 360. He can have the password to their phone, but they can’t have the password to his. HE MONITORS THEIR DMS WITH THEIR FRIENDS. He goes through their phone. Any time they mention hanging out with friends he tries to guilt trip them and say something like “Oh well we haven’t really talked much in three months or whatever but okay” or “That’s fine, I’ll just burn myself out working to keep myself busy while you’re out on vacation with them, but hanging out with them must be more fun” and try to manipulate them into doing what he says. I’ve been trying for MONTHS now to get Mitch to dump him, but Mitch is still hesitant to leave the relationship. Apparently a few weeks ago Mitch did in fact try to dump the guy and the fucking douche nozzle replied with “Oh, you really decided to do this to me on a day I was feeling really suicidal???”
🚩🚩🚩
And so of course Mitch being the kindhearted person that dumbass DEFINITELY DOES NOT DESERVE, felt guilty enough to stay. The guy proceeded to love bomb them like crazy afterwards, too. Three days later I’m hearing this and I’m like “Well he seems happy enough all of a sudden with you he must not be so suicidal anymore. You should dump him now.” And Mitch is like “No because he’s being so nice now!!! And loving and attentive and he has issues but he’s trying to change.” And I am like “Bro you JUST wanted to break up with him. How long has he been telling you he’s trying to change and what changes have you seen?” And Mitch listing a few small things that were the bare fucking minimum like “Oh well I guess he’s not getting so mad. Like the other day I mentioned wanting to hang out with (mutual friend) and he didn’t get mad about it, he just acted a little weird.” And showed me the texts where he got “weird” where he essentially said “We never hang out anymore… but it’s just so much easier with your friends, ig”. BRO WHAT THE FUCK?????? And I’m pretty sure it’s like Mitch has to ask the dude before they even try to think about hanging out with their friends. The guy doesn’t even go to our school. He goes to an entirely different school. And I have this one friend who used to date the guy before and he said the guy was doing that bullshit then, too. And I’m trying to tell Mitch that they deserve someone SO MUCH BETTER. They said that they understand that but they really want their relationship to work. I essentially told them their relationship was more than a couple cracks in the wall or a leaky pipe, it was a whole burning house. And they are still with the guy and it’s so SO frustrating because I can’t stop thinking about how much more they deserve.
I can’t stop thinking about them, and at first I was convincing myself that it’s nothing. I’m not interested in Mitch, I’m just a concerned friend who hates their toxic boyfriend and wants the best for them. I’m just protective of my friends.
…right???
Wrong. Because then the thoughts turned to something different. I keep thinking about how they deserve better. How if they were MY partner, I wouldn’t be treating them like that. I’d be giving them respect and space when they need it, and I wouldn’t make them ask for my permission for anything. And then it proceeded to me thinking about how cute they are and how amazing they are. And then I started having these little daydreams of taking them out on a date.
So, in spite of me saying literally two months ago that despite being bisexual, I have never felt myself attracted to people beyond male and female, I am finding myself developing the smallest, tiniest crush on my trans/genderfluid friend.
What the fuck do I even do with this??????
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magnumdays · 1 year
Text
Magnum PI 5.08 “Out of Mind, Out of Sight” review
Okay, we all called it but still, I did very much enjoy dressed up Miggy being all adorable on their date. Until of course, it all went horribly terrifyingly wrong. Man, those were some freaky hallucinations.
Anyways…
I’ve been trying to gather my thoughts on this episode and I can’t decide if I’m hugely disappointed or extremely thrilled.
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So three plots this week, but I think they made that work even though they were very separated from each other and Childs really had no one to talk to. He was/is really growing on me which means it would make sense for them to kill him. Likeable people die… it’s the TV way.
The Miggy/ case-case
As some clever people had guessed the proposal was not real (I mean we knew it wasn’t going to be real but the fan girl in me so wanted it to be!) but just how quickly it was going to go from ‘awww adorable Miggy date’ to ‘Higgy’s worst nightmare’ had me a little shook. But that wasn’t even really the nightmare… oh boy, that was some freaky hallucinations there at the end, well done.
Problem with putting the proposal and Higgy in trouble first thing… well, I’m just waiting for that moment to happen. So everything leading up to it is a little…well for me, I don’t really super focus on it. Or I didn’t today. So yeah, the Miggy + case was a little bit of a blur to me. I did enjoy our babies having their first fight, brought on by Magnum’s terrible password etiquette and looming death. Very fitting for our duo.
(Also, Higgy, 64 symbol passwords? What are you trying to protect? The lumminati deepest darkest secrets?)
Higgy doing her American accent always amuses me, but I did like southern belle from season 4 better, that was hilarious! A patient figuring it out and Higgy actually telling her because even if the patient told…who’d have believed her?
Magnum just knowing Higgy was in trouble there at the end did annoy me a little. Like come on, surely there must have been a better way? Also him rushing up the stairs - like boy? where are you going? Higgy’s find my phone was offline! Making for good last second rescue drama, sure, but still, not sure it made 100% sense.
It did get us both this
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and this
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so can’t complain.
Also can we talk about how it’s Higgy having the proposal dream? I half expected, even as I knew it was her dream, for it to be drugged Magnum having the dream. Our girl sure has come a long way :-)
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Even if the more horrible bits of that scene, with the two Higgy’s and the padded room/corridor - was my favourite.
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Also heartbreaking with the whole “whose blood is that”. In fact that whole drugged Higgy sequence was freaky as shit. I will be having nightmares of American accented Perdie going ‘whose blood is that?’, (and Higgy will be having those nightmares too in the fan fic my muse really wants to write -let’s hope muse-me sticks around when I’m starting at the blank pages of my google docs later…)
Did enjoy bad ass bitch Higgy being all “do you think you’re the first person to drug and interrogate me, you’re an amateur”. Like, part of me really would love to know just all Higgy’s crazy spy adventures.
Anyways, did love most of it and it does fit with nervous Higgy which we have been getting lately, so bonus points for continuity but… still IDK, maybe the clickbait proposal thing but something throws me a little?
I’d have had them hiking at pillbox and being all normal cute and not proposal cute, that would have made for more of a gut punch when Magnum was suddenly coughing up blood. Maybe? Because we wouldn’t have gone ‘oh dream/hallucination’ right away.
Also why did Higgy get banged on the head there at the start and then her wound just disappeared? Did they decide to add that in once filming was done to give her a moment with the creepy nurse or something? At least they could have given her a bandaid? IDK, just random intrusive thoughts made me super annoyed by this.
Childs getting himself killed(?)
So not confirmed dead, but since we seem to be getting a very dramatic mid-season finale next week (which already started this week to be honest!) I’m a little worried about Childs’ survival odds.
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Especially since he was almost nice and did claim our faves as his friends. Plus got a cute talk/moments with his GF. That feels like nails in his coffin. But I had just begun to like him so let’s hope.
Gordy and baby-Gordy
The father-son ‘adventure’ to the mainland was maybe my favourite bit. Mostly because of this moment.
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This moment really got to me. Because like this is the feeling. The feeling when something happens, and even though bad guy is thrown out/sent to jail, the host lady is all nice and apologetic and stuff, the bad unfair thing still happened. And it will keep on happening. And how do you fucking deal or talk about that.
I feel like this is one of the most relatable things for anyone who has ever been a minority one way or another, as a woman, different ethnicity, religion or social class.
Very much liked that Gordy did find some words to talk about it and found a way to sort of help reclaim the situation at the end. But still. Something weirdly emotional and relatable and important about that just eating in silent scene (for me at least.)
Other than Higgy’s freaky hallucinations and the Miggy feels at the end, Gordon and Dennis’ scenes were the best.
Next week
My goodness, not one second of downtime for anyone on this show, ever. Even before the episode we already have.
TC beeing shot.
Childs has been maybe blown up.
youtube
In the promo we see Higgy doing some seriously impressive flipping over fighting moves (someone make a gif of Higgy kicking ass from the promo, pretty please!) and Rick being chased through the rainforest?
Figuring Shammy saves the day with TC and takes him to Robin’s Nest where we know will be under siege? So TC, Shammy and Magnum & Higgins there and then Rick being hunted on his own?
I’m excited but I’m also not, because frankly I like being the one that causes my faves pain because then I know I can also give them some comfort and happiness later. This just seems like lots of hurt and very little comfort!!!
(At least it seems to not be another slightly disappointing SUV plot line?)
Well, next week can’t come soon enough while at the same time as soon as it does there won’t be any more Magnum until September. Which is a terrible terrible fate and the only good thing about this would be if this made made my muse wake up and I got to finish some of my fics!
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realityescapee01 · 2 years
Text
Steo and Chill
Steo | Stiles x Theo | Vacation
Theo brings Stiles to a vacation. He wanted his mate to relax. Stiles have been so stressed out lately; FBI and Beacon Hills stuff.
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Stiles was so stressed -always irritated, can't sleep, always angry and really needs to relax.
So Theo planned a vacation.
"I can't, I have to email a vacation day leav-"
"I already did."
"Theo baby darling doll face honey, you did what???"
"I submitted your vacation leave. And it's approved." Theo showed him the approval email.
"You-When-How'd-You used my FBI email??? How did you ope-you know my password???"
"I know all your passwords on all your accounts."
"Wh-What-"
"Pack your bags." Theo ignored his questions and just lifted him up to his waist and carried him to the bedroom.
Theo dropped him on the bed, kissed his forehead and placed his luggage in front of him. Stiles was now packing his things for vacation. "Where are we going, Theo?"
"Beach." Theo has his luggage packed already.
"Okay." Stiles guessed that Theo's luggage most likely consists of beach shorts; and just a few tank top or muscle tees. Theo loves being shirtless.
Stiles got his beach clothes. Then he started packing the other stuffs.
Stiles grabbed the vials of mistletoe, wolfsbane, mountain ash and his trusted bat.
"No no no, baby honey sweetheart love of my life. You won't need that." Theo intercepts the bat, sets it aside and unpacks the vials too.
"We never know if we'll need it." Stiles grabs the vials again.
Theo stops him by kissing him. As he was kissing Stiles, he was taking the vials away. Stiles kinda always stops working whenever Theo has his mouth on his. Tongue on his.
"This is a vacation. I assure you, no supernatural problem. I won't let it." Theo assured him.
"Okay... now, kiss me again and fuck me real good." Stiles demanded as he pulled Theo down to bed.
---
They arrived at the beach and are now checking in in their hotel room. Theo took care of everything. But Stiles is still on edge. He kept checking his phone. Which Theo took away.
"Stiles, FBI and Beacon Hills will not implode over this weekend. Right now, relax. With me." And Theo kisses him again.
They were on the beach and Theo could tell Stiles is still in on his head. Theo asked him to go to the bar and get some drinks. Hoping to get Stiles to not think so much.
Stiles made his way to the bar. He looked back at Theo.
'Damn. My boyfriend really is beautiful.' he told himself.
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He started to smile and have this warm and fuzzy feeling. This started to feel like a vacation. And he started to relax. Until he noticed something.
There are other guys and girls checking Theo out. Some even takes photos of him as discreetly as they can. Now, he understood the people who gets so angry when people look at their significant other. Stiles suddenly felt like he just wanted to hide Theo in the house. But of course, that's not good. Stiles started feeling on edge again.
'Okay, no supernatural problems, but there is a -people thirsting over Theo- problem!' Stiles bit his nails.
He got their drinks and intentionally blocked that one girl trying to snap a photo of Theo. "Here you go, babe!" Stiles intentionally said it out loud too.
"Thanks." Theo got his drinks and kissed Stiles on the lips.
"Yeah. So uhm, let's go over there." Stiles wanted to go to a spot with less people.
"Getting relaxed yet?" Theo asked as he sat behind Stiles, putting the human between his legs.
"Hmn, not really."
"And why is that?" Theo pulled Stiles closer to him, making Stiles lie back on his chest.
"Because, Theo. There are lots of guys and girls checking you out. And it's not okay with me."
"Oh..." Theo kissed Stiles's nape. "Come on." Theo stood and pulled Stiles towards the water to swim.
The first few minutes, they were swimming and enjoying the water. The next, Theo was groping and kissing Stiles. "Oh shit, Theo-mnn." Stiles got horny. Theo knows exactly where to grope to turn him on.
"Wanna get back to the room?" Theo asked, voice raspy.
Stiles just nodded while his mouth was open. They both got out of the water and made their way back to their hotel room. Stiles was aware that he has a half-hard dick straining against his swim shorts. And some people were trying to steal a look at it. He placed his hand over it and
'What??? If your boyfriend is this hot, you'd have a hard on every time too!' Stiles having an inner dialogue with himself.
Once they reached their floor, Theo pulled down Stiles's shorts and boxers. "H-Hey, where's still in the hallway!"
"We're the only ones on this floor." Theo said, sucking on Stiles's neck.
"T-The cctv's?" Stiles let Theo suck on his nape and slap his butt.
"Taken care of-hmn!" Theo nudged his crotch against Stiles's butt.
"Ohfuck, Theo!" Stiles faced Theo, kissed him and pushed him against the wall.
"Oh! Someone's happy." Theo said, just letting Stiles have his way. But not for long.
After a few minutes of moans and groans and groping, Theo decided that Stiles had enough of 'top' moment and its time to reclaim his top position. Theo grabbed Stiles's butt and lifted him up like he weighs nothing. Stiles let out a very appreciative moan. He loves it when Theo handles him.
Theo carried him and proceeded to press him against the opposite wall. Theo then took his cock out and started prodding Stiles's hole. Stiles thudded his head back against the wall as he felt Theo push in.
Theo started pumping in him against the wall.
Stiles cursed and couldn't believe he's getting railed in the hallway. It gave him some kind of a different excitement.
Theo gave him a few pumps against the wall before lifting him off and into their bed. Dropping him on the bed.
"I'm gonna make you forget all your worries, Stiles. You'll think about nothing but me. And this." Theo grabbed and stroked himself as he strode confidently towards Stiles on the bed.
Stiles gulped as he stared at Theo's very appealing erection. 'My worries are gonna get fucked away... ain't complaining though.' Stiles thought as he spread his legs for Theo.
After how many orgasms, Stiles couldn't really keep count. He laid there, looking at the ceiling. He's so sex drunk and he's hole could still feel Theo's knot a while ago. He's still so high on the sex.
Theo chuckled beside him. "Are you alright, Stiles?"
"You fucking milked me, Theo. I swear I'm dried up."
Theo laughed hard. Stiles says the dumbest thing after sex.
"Are you complaining?"
"No."
Theo laughed harder. "It's been weeks since we had sex. Can't blame me." Theo kissed his mark on Stiles's neck.
"Oh... I didn't notice. I was so stressed out. Sorry."
"No, no problem about that. I understand. I hope this vacation would make you relax."
"Oh I am. I am."
---
Stiles wakes up to a breakfast in bed. A full morning meal. Plus a newly bathed Theo in only a towel, freshly out from the bathroom.
Stiles watched Theo as he ate. He stared at Theo's chest as he took a piece from his fluffy pancake. Then his stare ran down to Theo's abs as he took a bite from his toasted bread bun.
Stiles watched as Theo wiped a water droplet that had slid from his chest down to his happy trail. As he took a sip from his orange juice.
And then Theo let the towel around his waist drop just in time as Stiles bit on his hotdog breakfast.
Stiles choked a little bit and scrambled for the water.
Theo let out a little laugh "Stiles, are you okay? You didn't choke on mine last night."
Stiles was hitting his chest and was able to get rid of the block. "Shut up, Theo. I'm eating for god's sake."
"You're the one ogling me while eating."
"Just get dressed, okay?" Stiles took another bite of the hotdog while watching Theo get a boxers on.
After Stiles had his breakfast, the couple headed out to the beach again. Stiles went to the bar to get their drinks again.
And then Theo saw Liam, walking around, seeming to be looking for someone.
Theo panicked a little because he knew what this was. He ran to Liam and dragged him away, away to where Stiles will not see them.
"Liam?!? What are you doing here?"
"Theo! Oh, I'm looking for Stiles. There's a problem-"
"No no no. Stiles is on vacation. He can't have any troubles."
"Well, Scott is away and I have no idea what to do, so I thought to ask Stiles."
"You won't do that... what's the problem?"
"Well..." Liam started narrating the problem.
And Theo took it upon himself to think of a solution. It's rather simple but since Liam is still new to being a leader, it's understandable he would ask for advice.
Theo enumerated evey step Liam has to do to solve the problem and even gave a plan B and plan C.
And then he sent Liam on his way. Went back to the beach before Stiles does and behaved as if nothing happened.
"Here we go, Theo." Stiles sat next to him on their beach towel.
"Thanks." Theo will never let this vacation be disturbed. Stiles needs to relax.
Theo and Stiles sunbathed for a while and then took a swim. They went back to their room again when Stiles got horny again. To be fair, Theo was groping him underwater.
After 2 rounds of making Stiles cum, Theo washed and went downstairs. He wanted to pick alcoholic drinks to bring back upstairs. Room service would be too noisy and wake Stiles up. He didn't want that.
At the hotel bar, he saw Peter Hale.
"What the fu-" Theo walked over to the older Hale. "Why are you here?" Theo knows if Peter is there, something supernatural is going down.
"Hey there, Raeken. How's the honeymoon?" Peter looking around for Stiles. "Where's Stiles? Oh, Theo. Calm down a bit huh? You're exhausting your mate." Peter had a naughty smile on.
"That's none of your business. Whatever you're here for, get it over with. And don't let Stiles see you." Theo knew Stiles would freak and worry and investigate whatever Peter Hale was here for.
"Fine. It's just tonight, then tomorrow I'm gone. I'm just meeting a friend." Peter looked over to a lady walking over to them.
Definitely a werewolf, Theo sensed. "You better be gone tomorrow, Peter."
Peter just grinned at Theo as he grabbed the lady towards himself.
Theo got a hold of their liquor and headed upstairs. He knows Stiles is awake by now. He did hold back a while ago so Stiles isn't that tired.
"Where'd you go?" Stiles asked the moment Theo walked back into the room.
"Got us vodka." Theo set the drinks on the coffee table. "And curly fries."
Stiles smiled at that.
-+-+-+ ( complete ) +-+-+-
---
The next day is their last day of vacation, the following day after that, they're heading home.
Everything was perfect. The weather was good. The waves are good. The sunset they spent together, cuddling on the beach.
Night time came and Stiles was a loti tipsy. He was initiating sex with Theo on their empty floor's hallway; groping Theo's chest and abs. Loving the feeling of those humps and bumps.
They got into the room kissing. Stiles stripped and jumped onto the bed. Theo went to the bathroom to wash sand off his feet, he carried Stiles from the beach until here.
In the bathroom, Stiles's phone was ringing. He checked and it was Corey.
"What is it now?" Theo answered the call.
"Theo? Hey uhm, where's Stiles?"
"He cannot be disturbed. What's the matter, Cor?"
"Uhm, you know the thing Liam followed you there for?"
"The thing I gave 3 solutions for? Yeah, why?"
"Well, we need a 4th solution."
"How in the hell did you still fail?!?"
"Sorry."
"Theo? Hey! What's taking so long? I need you. Now!!!" Stiles was whining from the bed.
Theo sighed. "Cor, be fast. Tell me about it."
"Theo!!!" Stiles was becoming restless. "I'm not gonna fuck myself!"
"Okay... here's the solution." Theo gave Corey another plan to their little intruding omega in the preserve. "I gotta go, Corey. Stiles needs me now."
"Okay. Thanks a lot, Theo."
Theo hang up as Stiles was banging on the bathroom door now. Theo opened the door in time and immediately kissed Stiles, lifted him up and brought him back to bed.
---
The next day, they got back to Beacon Hills and Stiles wanted to check on the puppy pack.
Liam told him about how they were able to track down an omega and convince him to leave without anymore incident.
Stiles was impressed.
"Oh, that's great! Wow, I can truly relax about leaving you guys this area without mine or Scott's supervision. Good job."
Liam and Corey sheepishly smiled and glanced at Theo.
Theo simple gestured to never tell Stiles he had anything to do about it.
Like the gifs used here? See source under them. Reblog, do not repost. Thank you all gif creators here ♥️
thank you. more on my master list here
I also have an AO3 account
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yawnzzjun · 2 years
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"I wonder how school life will be when Mia is out of it.."
"What did she do to you?" I asked Niki snapping him out of his fantasy. Ever since I told him about what I'm gonna do today he won't shut up about how happy life will be with her out of it.
"She's like a mosquito that won't leave you alone."
"How?"
"When Jungwon and I first attended here she wouldn't leave us alone I mean I get we are both good looking but personal space you know?"
"Sounds.. hard to believe.."
"EXCUSE?"
"I'M KIDDING."
-
We joked a lot on our way to the office but when we reached to the entrance we stopped and looked at each other.
"Will this actually work?"
"Don't know.."
"What if she actually doesn't get punished?"
"I just want her OUT the school."
"How are we gonna do that?"
..
"Kinda want to embarrass her."
"How?"
"We get the video from the camera." I answered back. Niki asked again how are we gonna do that and I called our bestest friend in the world.
.
.
.
"No."
"WHY NOT?"
Niki and I said at the same time. We both went begging Jungwon to get us a specific timing on getting into the camera and take a video of the recording but he downright declined the idea, I mean who wouldn't but thats beside the point.
"That's gonna get all of us in trouble."
"Better than nothing." I said with Niki backing me up.
Jungwon stared at us, trying to find a way to remove such ideas out of our head but gave up and accepted the offer, his reasoning was we might cause bigger problems without his help or whatever.
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It was now lunch break and Jungwon told us to meet him at the restrooms. Apparently he said they isn't anyone around the office at that time, being a goody good momma's boy helps you sometimes I guess.
Niki and I met up with Jungwon and we all made our way to the office.
"I'm so scared my cheeks are sweating."
"Which cheeks?"
"Uhm."
"Will you both shut up."
"Sorry."
-
Now entering the room Jungwon rushed us to get out our phone as he got in the computer.
"Boy how do you know the password?" I asked him holding my phone out.
"I have my ways." Was all he said.
.
.
"I think I found it.. " He said as he played the recording and indeed it was us in the hallway and very clearly you can hear the conversation. I was recording the video but Jungwon and Niki both watched the video in shocked.
"Woah she really said those stuff.." Niki said while Jungwon nodded.
"Let's.. leave this room." Jungwon ordered and we all left.
-
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"Y/N L/N, YANG JUNGWON AND RIKI NISHIMURA, PLEASE COME TO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!"
Ah such loving words I was expecting to hear the next day I came to class. My tweet got alot of attention especially since I uhm used the school name as a tag but ever since the whole morning I got a lot of attention, people waving and smiling at me, some saying sorry for what happened and some giving me disgusted looks for dealing with the situation poorly which I understand.
-
"Do you three know how much this could harm our school name?"
..
"Staying silent here but you can go tweet your life away huh? Miss. L/n? Answer me."
I shifted on my other leg, even tho it's my friends with me it's still embarrassing being singled out like that.
"I'm sorry." Was all I could say, of course I know the answer I was gonna get, but I couldn't say what I really wanted to, might cause me more trouble.
"I've called your parents to come pick you up and to hear what you've done. Mr. Yang I'm disappointed I you especially, doing such acts and going through my computer without permission? I've expected something better from you."
The principal took a glance at Niki then looked away. Our parents came and my mom gave me a look that could kill.
"Good morning, do you all know why you are here?" They all shook their head and waited for the rest.
The principal told them what happened and they looked at us in disappointment. Thought my mom did spoke up on something that didn't cross my mind at this time.
"What punishment is your daughter getting?"
"Excuse?"
"I get what my daughter did was out of line but yours was too. I will accept the fact that Y/N is getting suspended and will go on her school record but I won't stand here and let you leave your daughter out of this, she's the main reason Y/N and the boys did what they do."
The principal was shocked and wanted to back up his child but the parents agreed with what my mother did and gave all four of us suspension for 3 weeks.
-
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SYNOPSIS:Due to family reasons, you had to move away from your old country and start over a whole new life in Korea but the thing is you have never been to here before.
In creating your new life, you began a secret relationship with Choi Yeonjun.
MASTERLIST | NEXT ->
TAGLIST: @kaal-ee
(it's open btw if you want to be added😊)
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mrlnsfrt · 2 years
Text
The Relationship Episode
I strongly recommend you listen to the audio of this interview, but I will also have the transcript of our conversation in case you want to read it.
Disclaimer: We are not marriage counselors. We're just married people. So we're just sharing our personal experiences. We are sharing what worked for us. So, this is not like marriage advice per se. This is just, what's worked in our marriage.
For this episode, I have a very special guest. My wife, Vanessa. We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and we're celebrating with a special episode where you guys sent in questions anonymously.
So we don't know who asked these questions. We shared the link to our social media, to my Instagram and our Facebook page. And now we're gonna be looking at those questions and answering them. 
Boundaries
The first question is what kind of boundaries protect your marriage?
So what kind of boundaries protect your marriage? I wish there were more details on this question.
I'm not sure who was asking what kind of boundaries specifically they're talking about. We're going to assume it's regarding fidelity and some of the boundaries that I set for myself. Is that I, I avoid being by myself, with a member of the opposite sex. So, I don't go on car rides with another woman if it’s just the two of us.
If there are other people in the car, that's fine. If I meet with someone in my office, usually my administrative assistant is right next door. I also have big windows in my office and they're open.
It's not that there's a lack of trust. We just this protect each other. And also to avoid the appearance of, anything negative.
My wife and I also spend a lot of time together.
We do everything together, mostly together. We have joint bank accounts, and our Facebook page is together and that's more for convenience because I don't go on Facebook that often, so my wife runs it. We have, passwords to each other's phones. We don't really have anything that we keep from each other. We don't feel the need to separate things or that we have to have our own thing.
I guess we trust each other to the fullest. Yeah. To my wife, you know, every now and then, you know, I give her my phone. Hey, can you look this up? Or can you check on this? And you know, she'll give me her phone and there's. No fear or like, oh, don't look at my phone or don't check, you know, it's, it's fine.
It's we, we share everything. We talk about everything. Um, but I find that it's, it's important and, and it's good to have, um, boundaries and I think also. There is boundaries in the sense of work and activities where we, we separate, uh, we protect time that we spend with each other. So I guess, boundaries in that sense as well, we don't let, we don't allow work or school or children, um, to take up.
all of our time so that we don't have time to invest in our relationship to sit down, to talk, to share, you know, how was your day and whether you're struggling with whether you enjoy and actually, you know, continue to get to know each other and discover, you know, how we're maturing and growing. And so I think there's boundaries also to protect that time that we spend together.
Difference
What is your biggest difference?
The biggest difference? Well, we have, we have a few, it's hard to rank. I (Vanessa) like quiet. I like to work in quiet environments, they help me focus. I don't like to have any music or any noise so I can focus, especially if I'm writing something like a paper or a text or replying to an email.
If I really am trying to focus on something, noise just frustrates me and makes me anxious. But my husband loves to work with music for him. He can have music all the time. It's on from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed, (if he's not talking to somebody). Music is always going on and the kids are going along with his preference.
They're always playing music in the house and I'm always the one asking everybody to shhhhh.
Yeah. So for me (Marlon), when I'm working, I need music because for me, the music blocks out the other noises. So I just got headphones and now I wear headphones. If I'm working on my sermon or something at home, because I find that the music helps and my wife finds it distracting.
So yes, that, that’s right. If I (Vanessa) am cleaning or doing something like that around the house. . I like music, but not if I am trying to focus on like actually writing something.
The other thing is I (Vanessa) like math and science and my husband likes English and history. So that's another difference, I like the numbers.
I like the forms. I like doing the finances. I like. You know, calculating things out, planning months, dates, years, calendars. That's all me. for my husband, time is a lot more fluid. You know, he, he's not really sure what month we're in or year. Most of the time he has to have his agenda with him constantly.
So he, so he can keep track of his things. Time in his mind is a lot more fluid than for me.
So I (Marlon) like stories, I like poetry, I like music. I like art.
I (Vanessa) like those too.
I (Marlon) like games. I like, being goofy, making her laugh, and doing spontaneous things.
I (Vanessa) am definitely more serious.
I (Marlon) am like, Hey, you wanna bet. Or let's make this into a game. She's like, no, this is serious.
That's another difference between us, but I think that we complement each other. Yeah. It's not a source of, disagreement or tension it's whether it is rather, you know, we, it's a complimentary thing.
We try to use our differences to our collective benefit. So we bolster one another, and strengthen one another with our differences.
(quick note, due to a time crunch the remainder of the blog will not be as cleanly edited, it will just be a transcript of the audio, but I hope to come back later on and edit it more clearly)
Compromise
So how do you deal with things that you can't compromise on? Whether it be morals or stances that you are not willing to budge?
So this is a really tough question.
Once again, we don't know, um, who sent these in, and I wish I knew more details because these are things, um, my wife and I. Sort of have a lot of conversations about this while we were dating, we dated for a long time before we got yes, seven years. So was six years of dating one year of enga engaged. So there was a lot of time for us to talk.
And most of four of those seven, we were, um, we were in college, um, apart, you know, long distance I was in Massachusetts. He was in Tennessee. We only saw each other a couple times a year. So there was a lot of time to. . Yeah. And, and I find that, you know, if you're already married and you're in this situation, it's really.
because, I mean, my wife and I, we agree on the morals. We agree on the ethics. We are of the same faith. And I think that that helps a lot, uh, you know, being on the same page on the sort of the big issues in life and then on all the other things, you know, we, we come to an agreement. We, we usually meet halfway.
or we manage to convince the other that, you know, our, the way that we're pushing for, or that we have in mind or the way that we desire is, is the better way. And you know, when the other one agrees and that's great and we move forward. So I would definitely encourage couples to figure this out. Before you get married, once you're married, it's, it's tough.
Um, I, I would have to know more about this question. Uh, yeah, I'd encourage, you know, if you're having some really tough disagreements, especially when it comes to moral, ethical things that you find somebody to talk to a counselor, a pastor, a counselor, somebody just to kind of help, um, facilitate a discussion and, um, figure out, you know, how you can work through it.
Yeah. And also just be aware, you know, Pastors are not marriage counselors, some are. Um, but you can, you know, it's good to be aware when the pastor has reached his limit and when you should seek professional help, but sometimes you don't need professional help. Sometimes it's just a matter of someone helping you take turns when you're talking and clarifying, what's being said, I find that just clear communication can help a lot of times, but sometimes there are issues there's trauma.
There's other things where you definitely need. Professional help. Mm-hmm so that's my that, and by the way, any of these questions, if you wanna go deeper, just reach out to us through social media or, you know, my blog, just leave a comment and we'll try to get back to you. And, um, we would love to go deeper on any of these issues or questions.
If you have no follow up questions on any of these.
Head of the Household
So here's a question that somebody sent, that I think was specifically for you, cuz it says as a pastor, do you believe the man should be the head of the household and wive should be submissive? I feel like this can be dangerous.
I agree that it can be dangerous.
Uh, there is people that misuse. This principle, because I think they misunderstand what it means to lead what it means to be a leader, what it means to be the head, especially a, a leader based on this verse they're referring to. Yeah. If you're looking at the Bible, Jesus is not the extreme example of the best possible leader.
And he led by serving. by giving of himself. And I believe that if husbands want to lead, like Jesus led, if they're gonna lead by sacrificially giving of themselves for the benefit of those around them, then yes, they should be the leader. Um, but I don't think you should ever tell your wife to submit to your will.
uh, it should be her joy. To follow you because you're such an amazing leader. so the challenge is for the husbands to lead in such a way that others want to follow them, that their wives want to follow them. But if you have to tell your wife, Hey, I am the head of the house and you have to do what I say.
You have failed as a leader. You are not a leader and you need to learn how to be a leader. So I would say never quote this to your wife. I believe the husband should be the leader, but I believe that it should go without. That you're just such a good leader that your wife desires to follow you and just, you know, the way that I go about this, I always talk with my wife, ask her for her input.
What are her ideas? Ask questions, clarify, make suggestions. And this is also how I lead the church. You know, I have amazing leaders. Every church I've worked with. I've had great leaders, wonderful church boards, great elders, great leaders. And I just, I listen to them. I, I take in their wisdom. I am not the smartest men in the room.
I don't want to be, if I am, then I'm in the wrong room. And I don't think, uh, you should marry someone that is inferior intellectually, just so you can feel superior. And, and, and I'll do what I say because I'm smarter, no marry someone that you respect, that you admire, that you look up to that you. To have their input and then yes, lead by all means.
Um, but lead in a way that people want to follow you. Not that you have to tell them that, that you're the leader. And I think in our marriage, we pretty much look at each other as equals. I mean, we discuss everything. We, um, talk through our, our differences until we come to some sort of agreement. Um, so I that's pretty much, you.
Yeah. I have a lot of respect for my wife. It's why I'm married. Her more respect for you. So I, I feel like this text can be misused. So if a husband is ever telling his wife, I'm the head, you have to follow me, then you have failed as the head so you can read the next one.
Overcoming Hardships
What's the hardest thing you have overcome as a couple?
Um, I, that I can remember. I think it's when I was pregnant with Zara, uh, our youngest daughter, well, our, our youngest child, our daughter, our, yes. Um, and I had some complications during pregnancy and then, um, we had to have a C-section and she was born and this, everything seemed fine. But as time went by, there were certain things that weren't.
Like we, you know, quite like they should. And there was lots of doctor's appointments and, you know, suppo, um, possibilities of terrible things. And we prayed a lot and it was a tough time for me, cuz we were also moved at that time. We, we moved districts far, further away from all her, um, her specialist that she was seeing at the time.
So it was. Um, very, just, it was hard on me spiritually and emotionally. I think there was a lot of things going on. So I, I feel like that was a, a tough time, but I appreciate that my husband is, um, he's level headed and he's appreciate that you, I should be talking about cuz you're writing for me here, that you are level headed and that you provide that just.
Support and, you know, over time we have come through that and, um, now, you know, things are well and great. Um, but I, that's the only thing that I can think of specifically. Yeah. I thank God for bringing us through that. And, and I agree. Yeah, it's, it was probably the hardest thing that we've had to deal with or to face together.
Not that life has been easy, but that was like something that we felt like was beyond our control. There was only so much we could do, um, everything else, you know, just life in general, we faced them together and I think it's. It's good. As long as we're on the same team, I think, you know, especially with, with faith and, and God, and that's, that's a big thing in our lives.
Um, we feel like, you know, I've never been without hope. It's always gonna be okay. It's always gonna work out. That's what I was gonna say. We've had difficult times in other areas like financially or, you know, like moving a lot and there's been other things, but I, I don't think. You know, all through that.
There's always that hope in know life things are, are okay. You know, God's still guiding and we know we're gonna make it through. And that was just, it was just a lot all at once. And it was hard. Yeah. It was a combination of things, but yeah, that, that happened. But Hey, we're here and good question. This next one.
Favorite Things
What's your favorite thing about each other.
I'll I'll go first. So the fav my favorite thing about my wife is her character. That's. I think the first thing I admired about her, um, she is. Driven. She is focused. She gets things done. She's the person with the plan. And when we were younger, we were both involved in ministry and, and she just, she excels at everything that she does.
So in school and in everything. And I just admired her for that, for that drive and resilience and just, you know, nobody ever. Push her or has to push her ever. She pushes herself, she sets the goals and she, she does what needs to be done to accomplish them. And I admire that and I wanted someone like that in my life because I feel like I have accomplished more in life as well because of her example and her support and just the way that she is.
Hmm. Thank you. And I appreciate your steadfast. that you are, you know, like you start something, but you, you carry it through, um, Uh, I appreciate that. You love to read widely and listen to many different things. And it is always interesting conversation. I can always share whatever I am, um, studying or if I heard something or if I, you know, I can always share with you.
We have some good conversations. I look forward to our time that we spend together, that we try to get the kids to bed on time. Uh, every day. Hopefully, you know, when my husband's not too busy in the evening, he can make it back home before it's too late. So we can spend a little bit of time and just catching up and sharing different things that we we heard or, or read or, or seen through the day and just catch up on each other's lives.
And I look forward to that so much. So I really appreciate that about you, that. It's never boring. and I appreciate also that you have an interest in, in theology and church things. So we, we can always be interested in each other's lives and each other's worlds. And, um, and talk about it. Just things in general, just things happening all over the world.
Oh, and I also appreciate that you like, um, like you. You like to, how do I say this? Um, I, I don't care too much about dress or about, you know, like, um, I'm just not a very, how do you say fashionable? I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for just, but you enjoy, um, Like you like to look nice. So I appreciate not that I don't like to look nice, but , I don't know how to say this.
So it comes out right. Well, thank you. And I'm glad that you enjoyed it. You're very handsome. . And I'm glad you enjoyed the things that I buy you to wear. Yes. Thank you. I find you very much between you and my mom. They got me covered. Yes. Um, so this next question here is great. You wanna read it? How do you support each other in life in life, endeavors, careers, hobbies, et cetera.
Oh, I guess going back to the other question too, just reminded me. I love to hear your laugh. That's something also. I really love about you. Thank. .
Mutual Support
So how do you support each other in endeavors, careers, hobbies, et cetera?
I think we're a team, a pretty good team. I think. So. I think we have both accomplished more because we have, we can rely on each other, you know, at times.
Um, and we are, we know that we are there for each other, whatever it takes, you know, once we embark on something, whether it's me or him, it's not something. We do on our own as something we do together. Um, so for example, uh, we both did our undergrad and then we graduated and then I went back to school, we got married and then I went back to school after two years, uh, the conference, I guess, enjoyed the work that I was doing said, Hey, well, you know, how would you like to get your master?
So they, they sponsored me for that. And so while I was going to school, you were working and. Later for a time, for a time, then you decided to go to school as well and get, uh, your first degree in biology. So you wanted to get a nursing degree because we felt like that would be helpful. And it was an area that you're interested in medical field.
Mm-hmm so you went for that and we did that together. And then, uh, since we graduated, you know, then the kids were born and. You know, you focus on that and it supported you through that. And now the kids are in school and you wanted to go back to school as well. And we're supporting that. And I also feel supported by you.
You support me in ministry and also in the activities that, that we enjoy share something about that. Yeah. Um, you know, like, I, I, I. Wanted to play the piano and then, you know, you went out and got me a piano so that I could practice and I could, well, a nice electric piano. Yeah. Yes. And I, I nice keyboard. I feel like, um, I've come a long way because of that.
Um, so many other things, I, I, I have lots of ideas and lots of things I like to do. I like to try, I guess I know the ukulele, the, I had a guitar time and a ukulele time and . You know, and you're, he's pretty good at, you're pretty good at encouraging me and supporting me through my photography. Yeah. Um, so I, not that, you know, I, I.
You, I like, you know, I like taking pictures, but you saw more like, oh, I think you could do, you know, more, let's get you some, you know, better equipment and then has take some classes. And so just so I feel like we're both accomplished more, you know, same with you and different things that you're interested in.
Podcasting blogging. yeah. You, you here, I am sitting in this chair. . I wanted to invest a little bit and buy some new equipment. You, you were supportive of that when I wanted to try rock climbing, you were supportive of that as well. So I'm glad that we get to do these things together and we take interest in each other.
I think it gives us joy to invest in one another. Uh, even if it's financially time wise or, you know, going out of our way to do this thing because you know, our spouse enjoys it. Yeah. And definitely do more because we are together individually. We can do more because we can rely on each other. Right. Very good point.
Next question.
Boundaries
What should we do if for a husband does not respect our boundaries?
Oof. That's a tough one. Yeah. And that's a, that's a really difficult one because. , I don't think I have experienced that personally where my boundaries were not respected. Um, it, it might be because we had a lot of discussions.
Like I said, a lot of communication before we got married. So our boundaries were pretty clear and, you know, agreed upon. Well, thank you. Um, they're pretty clear and agreed upon before we came into marriage, but if we were to have an issue that we couldn't communicate about, like I couldn't share and we could come to agreement to definitely look for, for outside help for that one, because that's the tough one.
Yeah. And then though, just for the husbands, you know, I think this was back that leadership thing that we had talked about earlier. Uh, husband, you should always respect the boundaries of your wife. Now, if you don't agree on the boundaries, have a conversation about ask her questions, you know, try to understand the boundary and maybe she's not able to, you know, explain it clearly or in a way that you find satisfactory, find help, get counseling, um, find someone that can help you in your marriage, but never.
Push, never disrespect. Your wife's boundaries always respect it, always respect your wife and respect her boundaries. And, and I think that goes just as Christians. We should be that way towards each other, regardless if you're married or not. But it's very important to respect each other's boundaries and to have a conversation and they'll find help, but never force it never force your wife to do anything she does not want or.
Force anything that she's not comfortable with. Respect each other's boundaries have a conversation about and no seek professional help. But I, I believe husband, if you're, you need to respect her boundaries, even if you disagree with them or you don't understand them. Then talk about it, you know, until you come to an agreement, but never force it.
Yeah. So this kind of goes to, you know, I, if you are considering marriage, this is definitely a key point. Yes. If you are considering marriage, you should definitely, um, talk about these boundaries. You should have definitely come to an agreement as much as possible because it does facilit. Your marriage, you know?
And, um, and sometimes things come up that you don't realize are gonna be an issue, and then you're already married in the arm. And then if you get to that point, it's talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And if you can't come to a, a, you know, a mutual agreement on anything. Or, or in something you should seek professional help.
Yeah. And it's, you know, it's really important to have these conversations when you're dating, but then yes, respect the boundaries and talk about it. And, you know, I would say to, to the wife in this case seems to be the one asking the question, you'll try to explain it in a way that your husband understands or ask him, you know, what is it about this that you don't understand?
You know, what part of no don't you get, or, you know, um, but just, just have a conversation, um, And, and husbands be, be understanding and, and listen and ask questions. I really find that communication, at least in our marriage has been the key to, to solving all of our problems. And of course, you know, God at the center of it.
But, um, I think that God just helps us to be more loving and, and intentional about listening and, and being kind towards one another.
Secrets
A secret you kept from your parents.
Oh, that's, that's an interesting question. You want me to go first? Or you go, yeah, you, you go. Okay. So when I was, I think I was nine years old, I filled up a two liter bottle.
Uh, you know, those solo bottles, the, the plastic ones we used to have 'em in Brazil. Um, when I was younger in the nineties and I'd lived in the 13th floor, an apartment building. And I filled it up and I went to the kitchen window, which faced towards the there's sort like this space in, in the building where the, the, uh, elevators were.
So there was no nothing behind it, except for in a little bit of space. And there was the other windows. And I dropped the, the water bottle in between them, cuz I wanted to fall down there and the, for the noise to echo and the, the water bottle just sailed all the way down, 13 floors and it just smashed and it was loud and the water came out and the water kept coming out and kept coming out.
And then I realized that I had smashed the pipe. Um, and I don't think I ever told my parents that it was me. You know, the building went without water for a while surprised and they had to fix it. I don't know if they even knew what happened because it wasn't much of the water bottle left, but yeah, that's something that I never really told my parents.
Oh boy. All right. Uh, I can't really think of anything myself. I don't know. My parents pretty were. They knew all my crazy things as a child. And, and as an adult, I respect them. I talked to them once in a while, but you know, we keep our, I don't tell 'em everything about my life. so, um, there's things are just not their business anymore.
Yeah. Yes. So, but, um, yeah. So I'm glad you had something okay. Next,
Attraction
Have you ever been attracted to somebody else besides your wife? how did you overcome that same question for her?
Okay. So I guess it's addressed at me first, you know, um, to, so let's, you know, use your words carefully here. I, I, I don't think I can say that I've been attracted to someone and I guess we could talk about what being attracted means.
I have found women beautiful or cute, uh, that are not my wife or that were not my girlfriend. You know, when we were dating. But I never had any desire for them. So I don't know if attracted here is in that sense. For me, the desire for my wife comes from lots of different things. She's someone that I wanted to have in my life.
I respected her. I, I respect her. I admire her. She's someone that I enjoy being around and that's so much more than just her appearance. Now I do find my wife very attractive as well, but that's just one dimension of it. So finding somebody. Beautiful or cute, um, is not enough to make me attracted to that person.
There has to be other qualities I need to be, you know, there's, there's other things there. And, and I think because I've only shared like intimacy with my wife, then I don't have anyone else to compare it to. I don't have anyone else to that desire to sh it's such an intimate thing that I can only imagine sharing that with one person.
And that's the only person that I ever desire to be with. Um, You know, I think I've had men ask me about this, uh, specifically men that were not members of my church. We were just talking, I think my church members tend to be a little bit shyer around me and other men that don't come to my church here, you know, a little bit more open.
Um, and he was struggl in disregarding in this regard. Yeah. With, you know, Um, relationship, I guess, type of thing. And this gentleman was sharing with me. No, he was having an issue with, with being attracted to somebody else. And he was asking me, how do I dealt with, and I'm like, I never really had that issue.
Um, but in talking, he believed that it was because. Before getting married, he had had several partners and he feels like that did something. And I shared with him, well, I've never had anybody besides my wife, so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it or not, but honestly I've never really felt attracted to anybody else.
Have I've. Found people cute or beautiful. Yes. There's, there's beautiful women in the world and I can look at a woman and say, she's beautiful. Do I desire to be with that woman? No, not really. Um, especially if I don't know anything else about her besides, you know, the picture or the way that she looks that's, that's not enough for me to, for someone to be attracted.
There has to be. More, I need to enjoy being around that person. There needs to be a level of respect and, and several things. And I only feel that towards my wife and I think it has to do also with the time we spent together, the things we've been through and the more I am with her, the, the more, the stronger those feelings grow, because this is something that's not just like a fleeting, emotional thing.
This is something that I've invested 15 years into. It's so shared emotional bond. Yeah. It's so deep. And it's so precious, uh, that I don't, I don't want anything to, you know, interrupt that or get in the way of, I hope I'm making sense as I share this. Yeah. And I, I feel the same. I mean, we were 15. I was 15 when we started dating, I was 16.
Yeah. And, um, he was my, my one and only boyfriend and the only person I've ever been. So I, like he said, you know, there's some, he men around the world, but there aren't really any that I'm attracted to besides him. So not that no. And, and I think, you know, if, if I, if you're looking for tips on how to overcome that one thing that I would say, one thing that I do as habit and my wife is here.
So she can say whether it's true or not, uh, I'm always praising my wife. It's true. I'm always sharing and telling her the things that I like about her. Like she just finished. Are you very generous with your, with your compliments? That's sure. I mean, she just finished working on our finances and I was like, babe, I love you.
You know? And the fact that you do that, cuz I could never do that. I mean maybe if I really tried, but I would hate every minute of it and you just sit down and you. I know how many hours, you know, just going over everything, all the receipts, making the budget, looking at it, and then we discuss it together.
And I just love that. And other things too, you know, when you, you put on something that I like or you're here or different things. And so I find that complimenting my wife. It's important because I think that our words are so powerful and it's important for my brain to hear me complimenting my wife.
It's important for me. It's important for my kids. It's important for her. And I believe that with our words, we reinforce our values. So be careful if you're just saying negative things about your wife, about your children, about your job or whatever, you're gonna make yourself miserable. Uh, look for the positive.
Celebrate the positive. And that way, you know, I never want my first word or my only words to my wife to be something negative, something that like, oh, you didn't do this or you could have done this better. No, I always start with the positive. I always emphasize the positive and that way, you know, if there's ever anything to work on, we can work on that, but I don't want her, I want her to always feel secure in my love for her.
And I guess this would be my advice for you, make your spouse feel. In your love for them not insecure, secure. I believe that that leads to a better healthier intimacy and, and sharing and just being really open communication, open communication. Mm-hmm just being real and, and honest with each other. Uh, so that, that's my that's like one of my goals or, or values, you know, my wife and I would do that in the beginning of the day.
We write down goals and different things and for our relationship, I just, I want my spouse. To feel secure in my love for her. And I say that out loud, I do that with my actions and I find that investing into my wife also pushes out any other person or any other, because I'm, I'm too busy investing into this.
So it's not just an emotion I'm, I'm deciding. So there are things that she likes, well, I'm gonna do those things. I'm gonna go out of my way and make the time to do the things that she likes. Cuz I want to invest. I wanna be the hero of my. I guess, you know, I want to be the one that she falls in love with again and again and again.
So I, I like that. I like that challenge. I think it's part of what I'm called to do as a husband. And I want my kids to witness that and I want my wife to never regret marrying me. I wanted her to be excited and happy. About this. And I think that you can do the same for your spouse. It is true. You, you do do that.
You're very intentional. And I see that, like you, you have things written down. It's not just like a, a thing in your mind. You know, you, you spend time, you write things down, you, you ask a lot of questions. You want to know you, you make an effort. It's not just, you know, your words. Put your, how do you say you act on your words?
All right. I think that was our last question. Yeah. And I, I hope that, you know, it doesn't seem like we're not perfect in any way. Like, we, we have lots of flaws. We have lots of issues that we work, but I think the key points, um, so far for our marriage to this point is. Communication. Yeah. Uh, we invest a lot in talking to each other and trying to solve things and figure things out.
And, um, I'd say also trust and mutual respect, trust. Yeah. And respect. So we listen to each other, we care about each other. Um, and we, we show up for each other, you know, we don't avoid, um, only if it's just, you know, temporarily because of, you know, tempers running high or something. . Yes. Um, but the love is always there and, yeah.
Good, good talk. Thank you, babe, for taking the time. Thank you for the questions. Oh yeah. Thank you guys for the questions. And if you have more or if you want to, you know, another one or if you wanna go deeper in any other. That's what the comment section is for. So you can check out my blog, PR marlon.com or reach out to us on social media.
Many of you have us where you can just search for us and, and find us it's not, not too difficult, but until next time, God bless. All right. Bye-bye.
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sellieellie · 2 years
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writing this post to distract me from the recent supreme court decision:(
so i saw spencer again last night.
bella and i were at jason’s house with a few of his friends and he told us we could invite more people over so we invited spencer, another friend who i will call will, and we tried to invite connor but he was busy. spencer and will showed up around midnight and since spencer had to drive home a couple hours later he didn’t drink. jason was already wasted and had thrown up so he didn’t drink anymore, will only drank a little bit and bella only drank a little bit as well. the point i’m trying to get to is that i was the most, maybe only, drunk there.
spencer left his phone at jason’s when he went to pick will up and gave us his password in case his mom texted him. being the nosy bitches we are bella and i looked through his text messages and found the girl that he was talking about at the last party, we’ll call her chloe. this is not my proudest moment at all and in fact i feel horrible about it but we looked at their messages and it looked kind of serious like they have good morning goodnight texts and she even called him baby. so of course i was sad and i told bella we should stop looking which she understood because she knew i was hurt.
earlier in the night i had found out exactly who this chloe was. there are so many people with that name at our school so i didn’t connect the dots but it turns out that this particular chloe is one who was in my fourth period class last year and the teacher often got us mixed up and mistaked us for one another. additionally, the last girl he “dated(?)” has been mistaken for me before. basically he has a very particular type?? idk. but that was kind of nice to hear because i thought the reason he wasn’t with me was because i wasn’t pretty enough but that’s not the case i guess. but i’m still comparing myself to them and it just kind of hurts to know that he chose her over me. idk. he was talking to her first so it makes sense but it still kinda sucks.
bella also told me the full story of our last party. she said that when she spoke to spencer about me he said that he was gonna talk to me but he was also talking to other girls and bella didn’t want me to get hurt so she told him not to. which i’m kind of pissed at her for because i know she had my best interest in mind and i also don’t want another girl to go through what i’m going through but i really did like him and i wanted to at least talk to him. but i know that it’s for the best that i didn’t.
anyways, back from that side note. spencer came back with will and asked if we went through his phone and we said no of course not and i think he believed us. spencer and i seem to have gone back to a more normal friendship dynamic. he didn’t drink which is why i think he wasn’t as touchy as he usually is with me. either that or things have just recently gotten more serious with chloe. we had some good conversation and i really do love talking to him but it still hurts. it’s something i just need to get over like i’m really milking it and i don’t even mean to i wish i could just turn my feelings off sometimes.
anyways, later in the night when it was just bella and i, i told her that i was open to something with connor. i told her that i didn’t want to go to college the next year without even having my first kiss yet. i said i was open to anything. earlier in the night spencer let it slip that when connors not at work he’s just bored at home, which is exactly my situation. i hang out with bella as much as i can but she’s often with jason and when i’m not doing that i get so bored. when bella and i were driving back to her house to go sleep i confessed to her that i wanted to spend more time with the rest of our friends. she said she felt like it would be weird for her to hang out with any of them alone which makes me feel weird for wanting to because she’s the one who introduced them to me. i told her that i felt like i could hang out with all of them without her while she’s on vacation but i don’t actually see that happening. i feel like i’d be okay with spencer and connor alone because i just feel like they’re fun to smoke with as well. i also mentioned that i think it’d be nice to hang out with connor since spencer said he’s often bored at home.
bella proposed a plan to get me alone with connor so it wouldn’t be awkward to hang out alone after that and it just seems so obvious. i don’t want to force him to hang out with me if he doesn’t want to but if spencer says he’s bored then i’m hoping he’d want to. i just don’t know if i’m the person he wants to hang out with because we both only really talk when we’re drunk. but i do want to hang out with him, even if it’s not romantic, so that i have someone to hang out with when bella is with jason.
i just always feel like i’m the person who puts more effort into a relationship and wants to hang out more and i don’t want to be overbearing but i just want to be close to my friends, especially since we’re splitting up next year.
anyways, i think that’s all for this one. long story short, i’m still trying to get over a guy who literally just cuddled with me and i’m also trying to hang out with his best friend. that makes me sound like such a hoe but i swear to god i’m not i haven’t even kissed someone before lol.
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itsapeterthing · 3 years
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The Long Run || Bucky Barnes
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pairing: bucky barnes x doctor!reader
summary: after discovering that you’re bucky’s secret girlfriend, sam invites you on a mission with them. when bucky gets injured and you save his life, you give him news that will change the both of your lives for the better and bucky has a very important question to ask you.
a/n: this is technically a part two to Who’s She?, but can be read w/o the first; reblogs and replies are super appreciated!
word count: 4.9k
warnings: blood, bucky getting shot, mentions of bucky nearly dying, mentions of pregnancy, some swearing, angst, fluff
Who’s She?
masterlist || request || taglist
“Absolutely not.” Bucky told Sam. “No way. We have to find someone else to do it.”
“I’m sorry- do you have any other secret girlfriends lined up?” Sam asked, crossing his arms. “Because from what I understand we’re supposed to be doing this all under the radar and you and I don’t exactly have a lot of friends right now.”
Bucky stood his ground, staring down the man in front of him. “I’m not bringing her into this.”
“You brought her into this as soon as you decided to date her and she knows that.”
Bucky scoffed, rolling his eyes before shoving his finger into Sam’s chest.
“You know- I knew I should have never brought you back to my house.” Bucky said. “I knew I should have let Romanoff have you instead of bringing Y/n into this.”
Sam sighed, stepping away from Bucky, understanding that he was putting him in a difficult situation. Not even a month ago when Sam was shot during a mission, Bucky had brought him and Natasha Romanoff back to your shared home so you could patch him up. Until then, you had remained a secret to them- Bucky being sure to never even mention your name. He kept your relationship a secret from not only the world, but the team to ensure your safety. The last thing he could ever bare despite everything he had been through was for you to get hurt- especially if it was because of him.
Sam could understand. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid of the people around him getting hurt because of his choices. A part of him was envious of Bucky for being able to keep you such a secret, ensuring your safety. He understood that Bucky risked his only sense of normalcy to save him and that you- a stranger to him until that night- risked your safety to help him.
He knew he could only ask so much, but he also knew that you were the best choice.
“I get it, Buck.” Sam told him finally, placing his hand on his shoulder. “I know why you’re worried, but she’ll be fine. If I thought there was any way she could get hurt, I wouldn’t even suggest it, but she’ll be so far away-”
Bucky shook his head, crossing his arms.
“I’m not calling her. Find someone else.” Bucky told him finally, seating himself in a flimsy folding chair across the room.
“Fine.” Sam threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “I guess I’ll just find someone else to be our getaway driver.”
With that, Sam left the room, making a phone call through the door.
A half an hour filled with silence later, Sam and Bucky heard a car pull up outside the small abandoned building. Quickly glancing at each other, they both stood up, making their way out of the room and towards the entrance of the building. Without opening the door they heard knocking coming from the other side. Just as Bucky’s hand went to pull on the door handle, Sam’s hand stopped him, holding his wrist.
“Before-”
Glancing from Sam’s hand on his wrist to his eyes, Bucky furrowed his eyebrows. “Who did you call?”
“Look, b-before you get mad-” Sam attempted to reason.
That was enough for Bucky to pull Sam’s hand off of his wrist and yank open the door. On the other side he was immediately met with your face staring back at him.
Before you could even open your mouth to greet him, Bucky spun around to face Sam.
“What the fuck did I tell you?” Bucky asked, raising his voice. “I told you not to do one thing and you just go ahead and call my girlfriend.”
“There was no other choice-”
“How did you even call her?” He asked, voice still raised, cutting Sam off.
Finally Sam loosened up at the question, turning to look between you and Bucky. “Listen, that’s your own fault. Who doesn’t have a phone password?”
At that, Bucky threw his hands up in the air, turning to face you instead. You smiled, shrugging.
“I told you to put a passcode, baby.”
Looking at your smiling face, Bucky softened up, lowering his voice. He could hardly ever be mad at you.
“Doll, you shouldn’t have come.” He sighed. “You should go back home. Go enjoy your day off. We can handle this on our own.”
You had known your boyfriend long enough to know that he was only speaking out of love for you. The kind of love that drove him to keep you a secret for so long from even his own friends in order to protect you. Although you understood how he wanted to protect you, you also understood that Sam wouldn’t have called you if there were other choices on the table.
“Buck, it’s okay.” You assured him, tugging on his jacket to pull him closer. “Sam said that I’d be fine. Let me help.”
Glancing at your face and looking into what one could only call your “puppy dog eyes” he cursed to himself, knowing he couldn’t resist giving in for you.
“Okay. Fine.” He sighed. “But only if you stay in the car.”
Smiling you tugged on his jacket once more, pulling him down to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “Thank you, Buck.”
“I’m going to regret this aren’t I?”
And he did.
When he, Sam and an injured Natasha Romanoff were running out of an exploding building while agents continued to chase after them still shooting, he was truly regretting ever letting you come on this mission- even though you were only there to serve as their getaway driver and first aid kit for Agent Romanoff.
When you felt the rumble of the explosion shake your car and heard the gunshots going off you jumped in your seat, firmly grasping the wheel. You quickly glanced over your shoulder to see your boyfriend, Sam and Natasha running in your direction and you hovered your foot over the gas, shifting the car into drive.
“Go!” Sam shouted as soon as he got one foot in the door after pushing Natasha inside.
The second your boyfriend slid into the passenger seat you hit the gas at full speed, but before you could speed far enough away you heard one last gunshot sound off before you heard Bucky shout from his seat, swinging the door shut.
Still speeding away at the fastest speed you had ever gone in your life, you turned to face your boyfriend, feeling your heart race in your chest.
“Buck-” You started but before his full name could even slip out of your mouth you could see blood begin to soak the bottom of his shirt. “Oh my god!” You shouted.
“It’s fine-” He attempted to calm you down, groaning while holding his abdomen.
Hearing the commotion, Sam gripped Bucky’s seat, pulling himself up from the back seat to look at Bucky’s wound.
“Shit!” Sam swore.
As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, Bucky swatted him away.
“You’re not helping, Sam!” He grunted, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back.
“Oh my God. Is it bad?” You asked shakily, meeting Sam’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “It’s bad isn’t it, Sam?”
All you saw was Sam’s eyes wide, staring right back at you in the mirror. Glancing between your gaze in the mirror and Bucky looking over his shoulder glaring at him, Sam shook his head.
“Uh-” He started.
Feeling your hands begin to tremble on the wheel, you glanced back at Sam.
“Sam just tell me-”
“Sam you better shut the hell up!” Bucky shouted.
Realizing that you had driven for long and far enough that the men that were chasing you were no longer still following you, you slammed on the brakes. You heard the grunts of Sam and a incoherent Natasha in the backseat and the muffled shout of pain from your boyfriend besides you. As soon as the car came to a stop, you threw your door open, climbing out of the car and stomping to the passenger side door, swinging it open.
When your eyes met Bucky’s he just shook his head, eyes wide. He knew that no matter how many things you saw in your time as a doctor that it would inevitably hit you differently to see him so badly wounded and he couldn’t bare to see you so upset.
“Bucky,” You said, laying your hands on top of his bloodied ones. “Let me see it.”
He shook his head again.
“Doll-”
“James.” You stated more firmly, gripping his hands. “Take your hands off.”
Knowing that this argument couldn’t go on for much longer without him caving in, he lifted his hands from his wound and when you laid your eyes on the bloodied section of his abdomen you couldn’t help but gasp knowing your boyfriend was injured this badly.
“That bad, huh?” He asked, groaning again.
You had seen plenty of injuries this bad, but you had been in a hospital and they hadn’t been on your boyfriend- the man you swore was the love of your life. Pulling your hands away from the wound, you could feel them begin to tremble as the horror of what was happening washed over your body, gluing you to your spot. When you looked up, rather than looking at Bucky, your eyes met Sam’s who was still sat in the back seat.
Seeing your eyes wide and your hands shaking Sam immediately made his way out of the vehicle to stand by your side. Your boyfriend’s eyes were still squeezed shut in pain and as you stoood watching him you felt Sam’s hands land on your shoulders to turn you to face him instead.
“Y/n?” Sam asked, trying to get you to focus your attention on him. “Y/n you need to breathe.”
You shook your head, staring at him with your eyes wide. You could barely choke the words out. “I-”
“Y/n listen to me.” He said, gently shaking your shoulders. “You need to calm down so you can fix this-”
As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, you could feel your heart racing in your chest. How could he expect you to do this?
“No, no Sam I can’t-” You told him.
Resilient as ever Sam nodded his head. “Yes you can.” He said. “You have to. The next hospital isn’t for another thirty miles- it’s you or nothing. You can do this, Y/n. You fixed me and you came for Natasha-”
“That’s different.” You sighed.
“I know that, but there’s no other way.”
You rung your trembling hands, looking between Sam and your boyfriend still groaning in the passenger seat of the vehicle.
As you looked at him all you could think about was how you couldn’t lose him- especially not now. You needed him. You didn’t know what you would do without him. You knew Sam was right too- that if it weren’t for you doing something, he wouldn’t survive. You couldn’t allow that to happen. 
Taking a long, deep breath you looked up at Sam.
“Okay.” You nodded.
Sam released you from his grip. “Okay?” He asked, making sure you were willing to help his friend and when you nodded once more he smiled. “Okay. What can I do to help?”
You instructed Sam to go fetch the supplies that you had brought and stored in the trunk when he asked you to come in the case that Natasha would need medical aid after being held hostage by the organization they had just saved her from. Although she was barely coherent on the backseat, you knew that she would be okay compared to your partner who was currently bleeding out in the front seat.
While Sam fetched your supplies, you tugged on the hem of your boyfriend’s shirt, trying to ease it over his head.
“C’mon baby.” You cooed. “The shirt needs to come off.”
In too much pain to speak, he lifted his arms slightly, just enough for you to pull his shirt off of his torso and over his head. When you did, however his dog tags came off with it, slipping into his lap. Just when you were about to turn around to take the kit from Sam, you felt the familiar touch of cool metal grasp your wrist.
When you turned around you first met Bucky’s eyes before following his gaze down to his hand that was balled into a fist, the chain of his dog tag slipping through his fingers.
“What-”
“Take them.” He told you, sighing from the pain. “I want you to take them, Y/n.”
Staring at his dog tags and the solemn look on his face, you could feel your heart practically stop beating in your chest. Bucky had lived a long, complicated life- longer than most, but stolen from him at the same time. He had been given these same dog tags when he was sent to fight in World War II. Although a part of him had died during the war, he had survived to live decades more, the dog tags staying with him.
As he attempted to hand them to you, you realized that although he didn’t admit it- he was sure he was going to die in that moment. He had survived for over a century and because of this one bullet that he could’ve escaped from if he was just an inch to the right he thought he was living through his final moments. The dog tags had survived along with him all this time and you couldn’t bare the thought that he decided that now was the time to give them away.
“Buck, no.” You shook your head. “I can’t take those. You’re going to be okay-”
“Doll.” He said. “Just take them.”
You took his vibranium wrist in your hand and pulled it away from your arm.
“You’re not dying on my watch, okay?” You said finally, turning around to take the kit from Sam. “Now... there’s no easy way to say this... this is going to hurt.”
Bucky couldn’t help but throw you a lopsided smile at your resilience.
“How bad can it be?”
It was bad.
Due to you performing all of this on the field, you hadn’t been able to numb Bucky’s pain at all. Even though he had been through what he thought until now was the most horrible pain a human could ever experience, he could barely sit still throughout the entire thing. As soon as the first shout escaped from his mouth, you had stopped in the middle of what you were doing, glancing over your shoulder at Sam. Without even a word coming out of your mouth you and Bucky watched as Sam undid the belt from around his waist.
“Woah, wait-” Bucky began but before he could even finish, Sam was holding his belt in his hand, offering it to Bucky.
“Here.” Sam told him.
“What- I’m not putting this in my mouth.” Bucky said.
“Man, just put it in your mouth-”
“I am not putting this thing in my mouth, Sam. There has to be something else I can bite down on-”
You shook your head, sighing to yourself as you snatched the belt from Sam’s hand, slipping it into your boyfriend’s mouth. Eyes wide and not in a position to argue, he bit down silently.
“There.”
As soon as you placed the belt in his mouth, you went back to work on his abdomen. As you performed the procedure, removing the bullet and stitching up the wound, you could hear your boyfriend’s muffled shouting. You couldn’t help but cringe and feel hurt knowing how much pain he was in, but you also knew that there was no other way and you had to put him through this so he could come out the other side.
The pain was so bad at one point, however, that after a particularly nasty yell, followed by his legs jolting you looked up to see Bucky swing out his free hand to Sam which Sam took wordlessly. You felt guilty, but you couldn’t help but laugh when while you were still working on stitching up the wound you heard Sam shout.
“Y- you’re crushing my hand! Stop... squeezing.. so hard.”
When you finally finished, pulling your hands away from the freshly stitched wound, you glanced up at Bucky. You could tell immediately that he looked exhausted, slipping his hand out of Sam’s and opening his mouth to let the belt drop onto his lap.
“You can rest now, baby.” You told him, standing up from your kneeling position, wiping your bloodied hands on the cloth that Sam handed you. “Rest.”
As soon as you told him too, Bucky couldn’t help but allow himself to fall into a deep sleep.
When he woke again, he immediately realized that he was laying in a hospital bed and was hyper aware of the needles sticking out of his flesh arm.
His eyes immediately landed on your figure, standing on the other side of a glass wall speaking with a doctor. Suddenly the memories came flooding back into his memory of him getting shot and you saving him with the supplies you had on hand on the side of some abandoned, dirt road. Along with the memories flowing back into his mind, he could feel his chest become full, remembering how you had just saved his life- that you fought against your own fears of hurting him to save him. He had always known that you gave his life meaning, but as he sat there in his bed he realized that he was alive because of you.
Snapping him out of his own thoughts, Bucky heard a voice speak up beside him.
“How are you feeling-”
Before Sam could even finish his sentence, however, Bucky cut him off.
“I need you to do something for me.” Bucky told him, sitting up in his bed with a grunt, still sore.
When Sam heard the urgency in his friend’s tone of voice, he leaned over in his seat, pulling his chair closer to the side of Bucky’s bed.
“What is it?” He asked furrowing his eyebrows.
Bucky knew that he couldn’t wait any longer and he didn’t want to either.
“I need you to go to my apartment.” Bucky told him, giving him instructions. “In the bedroom there’s a safe. The code’s my birthday and I need you to get-”
“Woah, woah, woah.” Sam shook his head. “Slow down. What do you need from a safe right now? Incase you forgot you were just shot.”
This situation was probably the last one Bucky thought he would find himself in when he had first planned the event seven months ago, but he couldn’t stand the idea of waiting any longer. He could barely believe the words coming out of his mouth as he told Sam.
“The ring.”
Upon the two words that Bucky had just said, Sam’s eyebrows creased even more, attempting to understand the words Bucky had just told him. When it finally clicked, Sam leaned back in his seat throwing his hands up in the air.
“A what? Wait.” Sam said and Bucky was almost beginning to regret his decision as a smile began to play on his partner’s face. “You... you have a ring?”
Glancing at where you were still standing to make sure you didn’t hear what the two men were discussing, Bucky turned to face Sam nodding.
“Yeah, a ring.” He said.
Sam shook his head. “You’re going to propose?” He asked, then looked around the room. “Right now?”
Bucky knew that the hospital room he was in wasn’t exactly the ideal situation and when he bought the ring months ago he had ran through all the ideas in the book from a restaurant to a vacation, but he could never decide. In this moment, though, he knew that now was the time to ask.
“Yeah.” Bucky nodded.
Sam just smiled standing up from his seat. “Okay, okay.” He said, patting down his pockets. “I’m gonna go get it- God! I can’t believe this is happening, man!”
Hearing the door to the room open, Bucky glared at his friend, halting himself from having more words slip out of his mouth. Sam nodded, giving his friend a thumbs up before running out of the room.
When your boyfriend’s eyes landed on you and noticed you glancing between Sam and him while laughing, he rolled his eyes.
“What was that about?” You laughed, gesturing towards his friend running out the door.
Keeping his cool as always, Bucky shrugged. “It’s Sam.”
You smiled making your way over to the side of the bed and when you did, Bucky reached his arms out for you. When you sat yourself on the side of the bed next to him, you felt his hands rest on your waist while you played with the dog tags that were once again lying on his chest.
“I was so scared you were going to die, Buck.” You said in a hushed voice.
Seeing the downcast look exhibited on your features, he felt his heart break knowing that you almost lost each other.
“I thought I was.” He said. “The feeling was worse than... worse than when I fell.”
You sighed at his confession, taking one of his hands off of your waist- instead lacing your fingers with his.
“I- I can’t do this without you.” You told him, your eyes not yet meeting his, just staring at your fingers interlaced. “I couldn’t let you die, Buck. I need you here.”
“I know, doll-”
“No.” You cut him off, looking up to allow your eyes to meet his blue ones- the same ones you always got so lost in. “You don’t know. There’s... there’s something I need to tell you.”
Bucky’s mind began racing from the best case scenarios to the worst case scenarios. Were you dying? Did you not love him anymore? Did you find out about the ring? Oh God, maybe you did and he would have to tell you now even if he was still waiting on Sam to bring him the ring.
“I have something to tell you too.” He said, squeezing your hand.
You, however, shook your head. “No, Buck, let me go first. I have to get this off my chest. You almost died and the thought of you never finding out almost killed me.”
Instead of cutting in again, Bucky just nodded his head, seeing how serious you were.
He watched as you took a deep breath and a smile began to make its way onto your face.
“I’m pregnant.”
Bucky could of sworn to God that his heart stopped in that moment and it was confirmed by the beeping of the heart monitor beside him. His eyes went wide and he was praying that his mouth didn’t drop as he tried to process the information you had just told him.
You were pregnant. He was going to be a father. He was going to share a child with you- the best thing to have ever happened to him.
Going with his gut and leading with his heart, before his brain could stop him he finally asked.
“Marry me.”
Unlike your boyfriend, you didn’t need a heart monitor to tell you that your heart skipped a beat before racing immediately after.
You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about marrying Bucky so often it almost felt like a memory. To hear the words finally slip out of his mouth, you couldn’t believe it was finally happening to you.
Until you realized what situation the two of you were in.
He didn’t ask you out of love- he asked you out of commitment- or that was at least what you thought.
The light drained from your face as you scoffed pushing yourself off of his bed.
“Really, James?” You asked.
Confused by your reaction, Bucky stiffened in his seat on the bed, furrowing his eyebrows.
“What?” He asked.
You couldn’t help, but laugh at his naivety.
“You’re kidding me, right?” You scoffed once again. “You know- I thought you had moved past all this old-fashioned stuff. It’s not the 40′s anymore, Buck. You don’t have to marry me because you think you ‘knocked me up’ or whatever. Don’t let little old me hold you down.”
“Woah- what the fuck?” Bucky asked in a raised voice, genuinely shocked.
“-Because I don’t want you marrying me because you feel like you have to.” You continued. “I’d want you to marry me for me.”
“Do you think I want to marry you because you’re pregnant?” He asked.
Cooling down and wringing your hands, you nodded. “Yeah.”
You could tell just by looking at him that he was hurt not just by his gunshot wound that was still healing, but by your words.
He found it hard to believe that you could possibly think that he would only want to marry you out of circumstance and not because he had an undying love for you or because he couldn’t see himself living life without you by his side. You were the first thing he thought about every moment when he woke up and the last thing he thought about when he went to bed every night. You practically made the world spin round so how could you possibly believe that he wouldn’t want to marry you out of pure love and devotion to you?
Before he had the chance to say any of that though, the door to the hospital room behind you swung open and Sam stood in the doorway. Sensing the tension in the room he eyed the two of you.
“Did I... miss something?” He asked, focusing his attention on Bucky.
You shook your head, wrapping yourself in your arms. Just when you were about to excuse yourself from the room, you saw Sam holding his hand suspiciously behind his back.
“What’s that?” You asked, pointing at him.
Sam decided that the wall behind you was very interesting in that moment as he avoided looking at you. “Nothing.”
You eyed him warily and watched as his gaze fell on Bucky still sat in the hospital bed.
“Sam...” You said.
“What?” He replied. “There’s nothing behind my back. I just... like... putting my hand... there.”
You watched your boyfriend sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Glancing between the two men, you reached behind Sam’s back and stole the box from his hands. As soon as your eyes met the small, black velvet box you felt all the air escape your body. You looked at your boyfriend before opening the box.
Inside sat a beautiful diamond ring.
“... Buck?” You asked, slowly stepping towards him.
He gave you a soft smile. “If you don’t like it you can tell me. I picked it out with Steve-”
“You picked it out with Steve?” You asked, smiling. “That means...”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Picked it out seven months ago... before...”
You knew what he meant- before his best friend decided to leave the modern age to go back to the forties, leaving Bucky here. Although you knew is was a hard topic to discuss, knowing the truth lifted a weight off of your chest. He didn’t propose to you in the heat of the moment because you were pregnant- he had been planning on proposing to you for over half a year. Not only was he planning on proposing for that long, but before you told him you were pregnant he must of asked Sam to pick up the ring.
You felt guilty for yelling at him earlier and for believing that he didn’t have your best intentions in mind, but overall you were just so overjoyed to know that you were going to spend the rest of your life with the man in front of you.
“I love you.” You told him in a hushed voice, sitting yourself back down on the side of his bed.
“Is that a yes?” He asked, gently taking the box out of your hand.
You couldn't help but smile.
“Yes.” You laughed. “Of course I’ll marry you.”
Although Bucky Barnes was known for his infamous glare, he couldn’t help but smile in that moment, the pieces in his life finally falling into place after all this time. He couldn’t possibly be happier.
When he finally tore his eyes away from your smiling face that he swore would rival any goddess’, he shakily took the ring out of the box, took your left hand in his vibranium one and slipped the diamond engagement ring over your ring finger.
Before you could let him say another word, you leaned forward, cupping his face in your hands and kissed him. You couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss, so filled with love and joy that you could barely contain it.
When you finally pulled away, you still couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, so wide it almost hurt your cheeks.
As the smile fell from your boyfriend’s face you furrowed your eyebrows.
“What is it?” You asked him, fiddling with engagement ring on your finger.
“Did....” He began glancing between a still silent Sam and you. “Did you agree to go on a mission when you knew you were pregnant?”
Instead of meeting your boyfriend- no- fiancé’s eyes, you decided to admire your ring. “Uh...”
Bucky didn’t have a chance to press you further on the topic when the other man standing beside you’s voice rang through the room.
“Wait! You’re pregnant?”
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kookiecrumb · 2 years
Text
jjk || New Mary
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Prologue: The Angel Gabriel
warnings: religious trauma, psychotic behavior, stalkerish behavior, general mature themes (18+)
series masterlist
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It is so easy to lose hope in this world. People turn to religion and throw themselves at meaningless things in order to try to hang on to some kind of sanity.
It is common to see people devote their entire lives to a vague purpose that does not have any definite goals, to want something so badly that the means by which their goal is achieved does not matter to them. This is when it becomes dangerous.
Professors of sociology have studied the phenomena of cults in western society for decades. Studies trailing back to the psychological study boom of the sixties.
Then, war rampaged the world, and it was the first time that we began to realize that we had limited say in changing the state of the world.
That made people afraid.
Every time that there is fear, people will turn to religion.
"Please, God! Stop this war!"
"Please, God! Stop this death!"
"Please, God! Stop this plague!"
"Stop this hate, stop this pain, stop this suffering!"
We would rather listen to the sweet lie than accept and work with the truth. It is the only way some of us stay alive. You hung by a thread of hope that someday you would stumble upon something life-changing. You were sure that you were destined for something greater, but you did not know what. That is, until you met Mr.Jeon.
Life was a blur before you met Mr.Jeon. Day after day, you lived miserably without any real purpose, talents, nor achievements. Looking back, you cannot recall having a job or a family, having any meaningful relationships or even friends. There's only a void in place of your past life. This is intentional.
He remembers thinking that you'd make a remarkable trophy. You're striking to him, a perfect candidate and an obedient servant. Naturally, he chased after you-- subtly, at first.
Here is the cat and mouse game. He had no issue disguising himself as unassuming denizens that appear and disappear from your life, casually-- which he only did for you, by the way. You were that special. He knew you were special. He never doubted you, Y/N.
You were his chosen from the beginning. You must know that. You simply must.
His eyes chased you like a lion chased a gazelle and his mind fixated itself in your every action. He spent days formulating, planning, and preparing to approach you.
It was constant, it was restless, it was pure infatuation with the idea of your purity.
Chasing, thinking, planning, feeling, tracking, tracing, trailing, hiding, racing, leering, breathing, hunting, latching, bracing, lacing, breaching, breaking, touching, falling for you.
It took him such a long time to find the perfect moment to capture you. Mind you, Mr.Jeon was a genius man. He would sink his teeth into you soon enough, with his gnawing tusks piercing the skin of your neck. Metaphorically, of course.
The easy part was cracking every source of data you regularly used. Getting inside your phone, reading all of your messages, et cetera. There was no chink in the software that he couldn't slip by. That being said, most media platforms are nearly impossible to crack without triggering some kind of internal alarm. He guessed your passwords. That was just easier, and safer.
One by one, he isolated you from your distractions. Whenever one of your little degenerate heathen friends popped up on your phone, Mr.Jeon reached it before you did and shut it down. It took some persistence. After all, Satan is persistent in his effort to consume the souls of God's chosen people.
There was no challenge that Mr.Jeon's love could not overcome, Y/N.
They stopped calling. They stopped messaging. They stopped reaching out to you entirely.
He sanctifies you. You're made perfect, cleansed by his presence. You're made pure. Perfect, like him.
Yes, he was sure of it now. You would be his New Mary. It would only be a matter of time.
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The Angel Gabriel.
It's often that in order to draw in customers to a psychic shop, clairvoyants litter their business cards all over parking lots and football stadiums in order to create a false sense of coincidence or divine intervention. A potential customer becomes curious, picks up the business card believing that it's a sign from a higher power, calls the number and schedules an appointment.
Jungkook considered this method for a little while. He was uncomfortable with the chance aspect of it, though. He did not want to waste his time waiting for you to pick up one of his business cards.
Another idea was to kidnap and drug you the traditional way.
At first, it felt like a solid method to get you where he needed you to be. It was quick, efficient, and he could do it relatively unsuspectingly. The tranquilizers were easy to access in non-lethal doses, the benzodiazepines were semi-accessible with an anxiety diagnosis, and the rest of the equipment could be purchased discreetly over a period of time from multiple addresses and accounts that he made sure were untraceable.
He could not do it alone, however. You'd squirm and put up a fight, and there would be a possibility that you'd slip from his reach.
He would send an Angel Gabriel to direct you towards his light.
This was interesting! You were going home for the holidays this year.
You had purchased a roundtrip plane ticket to your hometown a week ago. It showed up on your bank statement. The ticket was for November 27th at 6:00 PM. It was on a Saturday.
Jungkook tapped his fingers lightly against the surface of his desk, thinking. He would come to you.
It is a common misconception that people like Mr.Jeon conjure up their plan on a big board in some hidden room in his beaten-down apartment in nowheresville, but this is rarely the case. He had everything he needed with him at all times to devise and strategize how he would encounter your little brother on the train ride to your hometown.
You see, your brother had just gotten his driver's license in September. He'd gotten himself a new car to celebrate.
It was a used car, an older model that he could afford all by himself with the job he had, working weekends at some fast food joint. It was a decent ten miles from the house, so it was natural for him to drive his car both to and from work.
The GPS system that he uses to get there and back momentarily uses a highway that is notorious for its terrible cell service. Bingo.
Yet another misconception is that people like Mr.Jeon cannot or don't know how to function, or understand social norms, within a society. This isn't true. Mr.Jeon was not sociopathic; he participated in society on a daily basis and could mirror someone's emotions in order to manipulate them for his personal gain.
Your brother doesn't know shit about car mechanics. It only takes a measured amount of oil to cause the engine to smoke and have him pull over on his way from work.
If it were to work, then that would open up the possibility of the manager raising suspicions and sending somebody over to investigate. That's the last thing he needed. Instead, he would catch him on his way back.
The employee parking lot camera is broken, which is technically a violation, but it was evident that the manager had other priorities. A little digging revealed that she was fucking the regional manager for the company and was able to treat the place like her personal food kitchen.
Now, it isn't easy to get a car rental the day of, so he had to call from the hotel room, stay the night, wake up early in the morning on a Saturday to pick it up and time the encounter down to the last second.
He's meticulous, but it's all in good fun. It would only be a few days before you'd be in his hands, safe and sound. There was no need to rush or worry. Your Angel Gabriel was here.
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taglist (open): @mwitsmejk
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jae-canikeepyou · 3 years
Text
| into you | j.jh
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pair: jaehyun x fem!reader
word count: 7.7k+
summary: as the uni campus’ social butterfly, it’s a given you have a lot of friends, invited to almost all gatherings and all adore you. for the latter, jaehyun does too. he’s so into you and likes how you’re his happy place. or; jaehyun— an unsocial, often misunderstood person, finds his behaviour different with you and perhaps wants to keep you for himself, not anyone else.
genre: fluff + elite!au
a/n: i’m back after a while since i’ve been so so busy! this is not proofread again and i’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes down there :> this is not canon with “letting go” scenario in case there’s any similarities with the characters. hehe anyway i hope you all enjoy reading! ♡ ~j.
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seated at the front row in the amphitheatre-shaped lecture hall, jaehyun frustratingly put his hood back on to hide himself from those who were staring from all around. they were definitely whispering about him, hands by their lips to conceal their voices in case he heard them. he hated this much attention, all because he chose stay of out school and classes— and claimed that it didn’t interest him.
so did coming today.
but the point was his attendance for this class was on the line and his busybody parents were sick of receiving phone calls or mails that kept filling their boxes, all for the same reason; that their son could be expelled despite handing assignments.
he rolled his eyes at the heat creeping up his ears as the whispers grew louder. he slammed the thin granite table, causing everyone to flinch at the sound and his presence. “can i have some quiet?! i can hear you guys talking crap about me!” he turned around at the pairs of eyes, soon frozen like meerkats.
they ticked him off. he couldn’t stand being in the same room with people who repeatedly questioned his existence of being here. he knew that rumours were going around, that the ‘jeong jaehyun’ in high school got into an private elite university— it could be anywhere but never expected it‘d be this campus. it was written in the judgment of their faces.
“chill man,” a guy his age swung his lollipop with legs on the desk. “some are curious why you decided to show up today since first semester’s a week away from ending, while some even wonder why you got into such prestigious and elite university.”
jaehyun’s eyed him slowly from legs to head. “who are you supposed to be?” he snorted at the stranger.
“just a guy who wants to break the distraught you’re trying to start.” he kicked his legs off the desk and stood up on his suede shoes, showing off his pearly whites.
he looked at everyone whose eyes averted from the two of them. “our town’s a small neighbourhood, so everybody knows everybody. we know exactly who you are, jeong jaehyun.”
“excuse me?” he swirled his tongue that it was evident he was pissed. “careful what you accuse me of. you and i both know it’s not going to end well-”
“they’re near they’re near!” a voice echoed the hall, cutting jaehyun’s attempt to intimidate the young man any further.
and with that signal alone, jaehyun could see and observe ladies fixing their hair and make-up, while the guys gave fistbumps to those near them. he rolled his eyes at him returning the favour to them as the guy unbuttoned his collar. “what’s wrong with you?” jaehyun was utterly weirded out. “with everyone?”
the crimson-haired guy only gave a flirty grin with raised brows. “this happens everytime.“
the door swung open with the professor rushing in. the students swifted heads, it wasn’t the first time he ever was late. he was young and good-looking, and it was hard to believe he still a bachelor. he gestured someone at the door, then the held-in giggles and mumbles were soon replaced with whispers of awe, as you walked in carefully with a tower of binder folders halfly covering your view.
clearly the guys around him have been secretly admiring; some had the confidence of taking selfies even if you were far, while others took a picture with their eyes so you were marked in their memories. ladies flocked towards the flustered professor like little chicks and surrounded him.
and that’s when the comments started coming in.
“park seojoon is so hot.” “hey remember to use ‘professor’.” “i guess genes runs in the family.” “his sister is ethereal too.” “i see her weekly and y/n’s a goddess.” “y/n! are you coming to the party tonight?”
jaehyun knew who you were through social media and common friends. and he included himself part of the people who admire you. he also remembered because he bumped into you during orientation. he wouldn’t usually care about passerby’s and strangers and although that was a brief moment and short eye contact, something about you was hard to not forget. you had people and friends under a charming spell he couldn’t describe, and that was in a good way.
you tucked a strand behind your ear and became shy afterwards as they whistled and cheered towards your gesture, making you heat up a thousand degrees higher. you should be used to this but every time it happens, you were just as flustered as your brother.
jaehyun’s legs got up on its own and was surprised at himself for making his way to help you. he picked up the fallen binder files and scattered papers while the whiskers by your eyes creased up in shyness.
he hitched a breath realising that the clumsy you was adorable too.
“thank you.” a smile then appearing at the corners of your lips caused jaehyun to freeze for a while. yuta wouldn’t miss anyone’s reaction. he slid his chair close to jaehyun’s as the he came back, nudging his chair for him to give into your beauty.
“i know a person with heart eyes when i see one. now you understand why we’re whipped for y/n. isn’t she a babe- agh.” he held the back of his head from the smack.
“don’t call me that, nakamoto.” you hissed sharply with how confident and careless he could get, especially with people you weren’t familiar with. you looked at the guy in a black sweater and let out an embarrassed sigh. “i’m sorry about my annoying best friend. yuta tends to be chatty when he feels lonely.” you winked at him.
it was jaehyun’s turn to flash short chuckle, its faint sounds perked not only your ears, but yuta’s as well. “not a problem. i know a lonely person when i see one.” jaehyun emphasised through his gaze.
“i’m not lonely! i have y/n and my men!” he whined and turned towards you. “see what you did y/n?”
“it’s good to finally see you, jeong jaehyun.” you ignored yuta and brought out a hand for a greeting.
you pursed your lips to stifle a laugh, jaehyun’s ears quickly turned from pink to red. he gulped loudly and took your hand in his, eyebrows lifting at how you knew his name.
lost for words and you both locked eyes where he forgot to let your hands go. “we take the same course together? i know your name because you’re the only one missing from the class-” you said, shaking his hands to subtly let him know it had been a minute since your hands felt his vainey flesh.
“okay young lad that’s enough time holding my sister.” seojoon separated your hands and jaehyun snapped out of his admiration, inhaling quite stressfully with how stupid he looked. “get to your class y/n.”
“alright, i’ll see you at tea hour.” you waved at the boys.
“as long as you’re treating i’ll go.” yuta hummed in a monotonous voice, fixing his laces that went untied.
“i’m not talking to you dimwit.” you flicked his forehead, leading to your satisfaction of the nut-like sound from it. “jaehyun, because you missed yesterday’s class, prof assigned me to assist you, along with the other topics you’ve yet to cover. i’ll be expecting you at the café near campus.”
before you stepped out of the hall, yuta pulled your sweater, yanking you back. “are you going to taeyong’s party tonight? you never miss an event!”
you puckered your lips, pinching his cheeks that a cute gummy smile came out from it. “you know my rules. as long as you’re driving me home, i’ll go. see you later.”
jaehyun nodded yet was still in a daze. he realised what you said when yuta pushed him. “gross. don’t act as if we’re already close.”
“hm? was i really? i think it’s normal when you’re making a move on my best friend.” he brought out his laptop and typed his password.
i wasn’t. “whatever.”
and to say that jaehyun didn’t feel butterflies flying uncontrollably in his stomach would be an understatement. they made the intestine churn in ways he couldn’t imagine, and he himself wanted to deny that what he was feeling was just from the influence of others. but wouldn’t that mean his feelings were temporary? because if it were, he should perceive you an ordinary person.
yet here he was outside, still admiring you before he entered the café. he found it was amusing of how oblivious you were of his presence— you were too immersed into this assigned task by professor, but others found it funnier when jaehyun looked stupidly in-love and cowardly the lad looked, despite having the overall aura of a stuck-up.
as the sun’s rays brightened the city and the wind’s breeze made the trees leaves dance, only then had you raise your head to see jaehyun waving at you. ten minutes early, not bad for an actual first impression. “hey,” he greeted, making you smile with his low but gentle voice. “am i late?”
you took your bag from across and asked him to sit down. “no no. you’re just in time, it’s really nice to have an early bird around.”
his dimples deepened at the compliment. “how about the project? is it too late? you think i can still catch up?” jaehyun cleared his throat.
“that depends on your dedication. based on the record professor gets, you’ve been doing your tasks and homework quite diligently. he’s just worried about your habit of not attending his lectures might lead to procrastination when second semester starts.” you gave him a slice of cheesecake to eat. “he’s still teaching us another subject.”
“it’s quite the contrary.” he dove in for the dessert. “i don’t have the will to procrastinate at all.”
“then good.” you twisted the pen in your fingers. “let’s get started?”
for that span of two hours, how he wished it could be more. who knew you would have a lot of things in common with him? that time alone was not enough to talk about vinyl and jazz singers and pretty much everything that were overlooked by people. he brought up his favourite spots in the city and how they became a safe haven to escape the reality.
to cut the explaining short, his shell slowly started to open, bits and new things were showing. if you were surprised he was a good person, jaehyun himself couldn’t believe he was able to converse with people normally. being the awkward and shy type, doing this almost seemed impossible.
was it your magic that caused him to do so?
you learnt that jaehyun was rather special and by special it meant he had gifts that you believed were way beyond human limits. he never studied in a library, rewatched lectures or written his notes. and the professor mentioned how jaehyun received good grades in most of the things he submitted.
to be very honest, you were a little jealous. from how he was sitting in front of you, he didn’t seem to be interested but was definitely listening. and you sort of gave up in continuing anyway. “i don’t understand why i’m told i need to guide you when you’ve already caught up with everything.” you let out a soft chuckle that seemed more of a question.
“i was waiting for you to stop..” jaehyun said quite blatantly and stretched his arms and you were hurt because if he didn’t want to, he could’ve said so. heck, even more so, he shouldn’t have come here and wasted time-
“..because it looked like you were forced to do this by prof.” his smile then faded seeing you mirror the same. “are you alright? you’re a little pale..”
your eyes widened. “oh uh, sorry, i assumed-” you sputtered and probably died inside with what he said. you cursed in your mind. dammit y/n.
jaehyun raised his brows, making you more flustered and panicky. you sighed and waved your ‘its-nothing’ hand. “assumed that i’m brusque and a stuck-up?”
he pierced his eyes at you and you weren’t going to lie, he scared you a bit. but that fear immediately disappeared when a gentle giggle and adorable dimples replaced it. “i get that a lot, but don’t worry. i’m different from what people think. they think i’m not friendly, a-and a loner too.”
“you’re not.” he heard you counter him, slightly slamming the fork down. “if you were, you wouldn’t be here with me. or even bothered to come.”
his heart became warm through your words, that act of kindness torn down his walls of inferiority and his perception towards people changed. “thanks.” he checked the time on his watch and twisted his wrist to show to you. “don’t you have a party to attend to?”
“lee taeyong’s?” you stood up to leave the café. “i feel like skipping it for tonight. i’m not in the mood for parties somehow.”
“because i’m a better company for you?” jaehyun teased and boy was he proud with his remark, you didn’t even deny it. “you don’t have to go if you really don’t want to. it’s better to have time for yourself sometimes.”
“you’re saying from experience?” you asked, putting pressure on your words about his claim of being alone.
“it’s more of an advice for you.” he winked.
you thought he was quite observant even though he barely socialised with others. he noticed the light in your eyes sparkling, in which he felt his chest squeeze. you twirled in your toes as you hugged your laptop. “say.. are you up for a movie marathon?”
including now, it’d be the fourth time you both have rewind the specific scene just for that certain song jaehyun kept singing nonstop. and although you loved his voice, having the song on replay would be a little too much and the purpose of the marathon might go in vain. it seemed jaehyun was way into it, so interrupting him would be mean of you so you sang along.
“the nostalgia still hits me ‘til this day.” jaehyun tossed a bag of chips from your kitchen island to you.
jaehyun kept saying it may sound stupid and corny coming from him, but as a child he liked the whole high school musical series; and he pretty much became one when breaking free started to play.
because you both couldn’t decide where to watch the beloved movies by everyone, the marathon ended up being at your apartment. it was subtle, yet quite obvious to you he didn’t want it to be held in his place. you thanked your psychology course for giving lessons to notice even the little things in behaviour.
“how many times do i have to keep telling you it’s okay to like it? not like anyone would tease you for it.” you giggled as you opened the bag and popped a couple of chips into your mouth.
“yeah sure, but i know you would.” he squinted his eyes for you to admit that that was your plan eventually.
“have i?” you singsonged, sipping on the large cola cup.
he pointed at the hairbrush you held and suddenly you bursted out in laughter since jaehyun was obviously— maybe a little— offended with how you mimicked him singing earlier. “okay you caught me.”
jaehyun felt his entire body heating up. still in denial about actually being into you, he took a challenge upon himself and scooted next to you. his arms slightly brushed and touched against yours. “you in for hsm 2?”
“well we are having a marathon, might as well go for camp rock later.” you shrugged and eyed him with a confirming gaze.
“uh-huh.. but i’m still a fan of the trilogy.” jaehyun stole the chips in your hands.
“now aren’t you cheeky.” you gasped at his playful behaviour, and you didn’t dislike it. perhaps you prefer this naught over yuta’s as it didn’t get into your nerves or have the urge to hit him because of the hyperness.
he sat deeper into the beanbag. “i’m comfortable in here. your house feels too homey.”
“so is it my fault that you’re in your comfort zone?” you stated, taking the bag of chips back into your arms.
“yes.” he protested with frequent waves of his palms. “you’re too kind and i might come here to visit often.”
“suit yourself.”
since he arrived here it had him wondering, why did he decide to show up today at campus when there was actually a pure human being like you? he just needed a person— just one— to knock onto his heart. yet with many people in his life trying to do the same thing, none held the correct key. and somehow,
it had to be you.
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you’ve lost count of the number of times jaehyun has been hanging at your crib since then. it became a normal routine but never have you been to his place. it was always yours and you didn’t mind that. though he did promise, you respected his decision.
you found out he could be little dorky and corny but that was the unique trait about him. like friends at kindergarten, you both were still at a get-to-know-each-other stage. so that day, he created a schedule where he would hang out with you on wednesdays and fridays, claiming that he didn’t want to be seen by others, e.g. mr. nobody with ms. golden girl.
however, since then, people close to you have been looking at you rather differently. it wasn’t because they sometimes see jaehyun following you around, they sensed a different aura from you. you could feel their piercing stares from all directions, as if you were the centerpiece of a watch. there was something a little different than usual.
and you tried to ignore this ominous feeling for now.
yuta shook his legs vigorously, in which was an unsightly act to see for someone on the soccer team. you could see him from afar with his hands by his lips, biting it as he waited for your arrival at the university’s sports ground. jaehyun jogged towards you with his bag slung diagonally across his torso. he poked your neck and as a person with severe tickle spots, that caught you off guard into a fight-me position to the doer.
“chill, it’s just me.” jaehyun had both of his hands up, whiskers appearing just by the sides of his nose.
“jaehyun!” you relaxed your limbs. “got a better way of greeting? i don’t like being surprised.” you pulled the hem of his sleeve, missing how he pursed his lips in glee when you both instantly became close, like it was overnight.
he let you grab him as you both walked towards where yuta was standing by the bleachers. “i’m sorry?” he giggled loud enough only for you to hear. “i thought i’d get a priceless reaction from you.”
you rolled your eyes that it almost hurt doing so. “be glad i have enough patience for you.”
“and i didn’t have enough patience last night!” yuta joined the conversation seeing you and jaehyun before him. “where have you been? you said you were coming to my place yesterda- why is he here?” he looked at him then at you. “with you? again?”
“ever thought that i want to have my own ‘me’ time for once?” you took off your cardigan and placed it on the bleachers. you could feel jaehyun chuckling softly when you made reference to his remark.
and boy was he proud. “you’re emphasising on that quite often nowadays.” he helped you carry your bag as you to settled down.
“that’s because i never realised how true it actually is until i say it out loud, since being in everyone’s eyes does pressure me.” you balled your fists to nudge him lightly on the arm, and for him to dramatically receive the attack did put yuta in an awkward position.
“uh hello? i’m still here!” in front of you and jaehyun, yuta snapped his fingers several times to divert attention. “what’s going on with you two? how are you both suddenly so close when you’ve just met for the first time two weeks ago?”
jaehyun swifted his head towards you, and the telepathic exchange of words between you and him had yuta clicking his tongue in disbelief. “you were right, he will react.” jaehyun’s voice prolonged while munching on a corn dog.
“told you so.” you flicked your hair and turned to yuta as you continued talking. “bestie, we’ve been seeing each other since then.”
what the hell? the way yuta’s face turn sour at your smile towards jaehyun, he could almost faint right then and there since he swore he saw mr. dimples smile subtly at you too. “and with just that i’ve been replaced-”
“no i would never replace my best friend.” you held his palms hoping he would calm down from his high emotions, but he immediately pulled his hand away from you, much to your dismay. “hey, i’m here to make amends-”
“yeah?” he clicked on a pen and wrote something on a tissue, soon grabbing your bag from the seat and fished out your wallet. “then you’re treating me my meals for a month. i have another order right now.”
now it was your turn whose face became sour. “a month?! i can’t do that- hey!”
yuta tossed your credit card up in the air and upon seeing his eyes darken— though that was all in your head—you gave in and sighed heavily. you stomped your way to the caféteria while yuta comfortably put one leg on the benches with a satisfied grin. “man she’s easy to tease.”
“is that so? then i know now who she gets it from.” jaehyun said through his chews on his food, making yuta’s ears perk up at the response.
the atmosphere lingering between the two of them invited dark clouds. both could sense the change in their moods, and they both weren’t liking it.
yuta spun and played the ball on his hands then forearms, later let out a scoff when jaehyun raised his brows. he didn’t like the vibe jaehyun was giving and so did the latter. “i do it for fun. it’s natural between us.” yuta said.
“hm? she told me she doesn’t like it when you do.” he saw you on your tiptoes as you struggled to tell the order to the person at the high-levelled counter. but another scoff came out from yuta. “you got a proble-?”
“yeah kinda.”
“i don’t think so. i can tell it really bothers you when y/n hangs out with me.” jaehyun sat up straight at yuta’s comment about him.
“i should be. because i’m her best friend and who knows what type of person you are.” he did a few tricks with his legs. “but if you really want to know then your attitude is what i have problems with.”
“i remember telling you it wouldn’t be good for you when accuse me wrongly.”
he let out a monotonous and rather mocking laugh, taking jaehyun aback but he anticipated this kind of response from him. “and what? you’ll go berserk like you did years ago? as a high school freshman? beating the innocent up or whoever comes your way?”
“look i don’t know where the hell that came from but it’s not what you or everyone else thinks.” jaehyun aggressively crumpled the hotdog wrapper in his palms.
“c’mon you don’t have to hold it all in,” yuta set his ball aside and rested his hands on his waist. jaehyun was getting uncomfortable the more he listened to him. “unleash that side-”
jaehyun rolled his tongue, nodding his head to test him. “alright, i guess i don’t have to when i have feelings for y/n. thanks for the advice.”
what the..? yuta stared at him when there wasn’t a change in his expression. jerk- “now you’re talking. you wanna fight? let’s do that-”
“tsk yuta! the bill’s too expensive!” you whined and gently put down the tray.
while yuta clicked his tongue at your sudden entry and with how quickly you came back, for a moment jaehyun wanted to hug you for being his saviour. he was so close to lose his temper towards your best friend. the relief seen in his tensed shoulders, but you interpreted it otherwise. “are you okay?” you asked while you sat down beside him.
he hummed, folding his arms and looking at the distance, clearly avoiding eye contact with yuta. “mhm, i just realised the deadline is coming up in three days.” he excused.
you managed to utter out a giggle as you finally ate, finding out how jaehyun’s ears always turned red when given attention to. “you’re stressed about it?”
“aren’t you?” jaehyun drank the remains of his soda.
“not really since i finished mine. but, if you’re worried about your progress, i can help you.” you swirled the fork in the air like a wand. jaehyun smiled to himself when yuta took his ball to throw a fit.
“i’m not worried about the project. but there’s an annoying bug i’m trying to hit so help me.” jaehyun’s dimples appeared deeply again and as the darkening ombré sunset shoned his side profile, there you witnessed how pure he actually was— and you missed out on yuta’s frown towards jaehyun.
you gulped and almost choked on your own saliva, eyes still locked in jaehyun’s. his hair caught in the wind, making it look fluffy and his entire demeanour softer than you usually see him. you hitched a breath since jaehyun seemed like he had no plans to avert his gaze too. both of you were definely mesmerised and hypnotised, and for jaehyun it was just like that time. he remembered the colour palette of your makeup while you recalled the perfume he wore.
in the recent marathons with him you’ve never been this close, physically speaking. so this close-up really debunked the impression you heard from people, especially from yuta.
however, as you were oblivious with the pressure behind jaehyun’s words and even smiled back at him, yuta flicked your temple. he was indeed a worry wart and sometimes he would like to flick you just this once for being too much of a social butterfly. he knew it was in your nature to be kind and always on the look out for others. he’s fine when you were with anyone except with this guy you befriended. not him.
he dodged your flying limbs in attempts to hit him. “oi, you’re not going to ask how i am? if i’m worried?”
the pain from the flick remained on your temple. “no? you look fine to me-” you stared at your phone. the message reminding you of the singles elite party a month from today at 8pm. “a party?”
“yeah if you attended the previous party you’d know that there’ll be another one after taeyong’s.” yuta took off his shoes in change for his casual.
“hm. i’m don’t feel like going.” you jumped off the bleachers to dust off your pants. “probably gonna be boring.”
“i’m the one who’s holding it this time!” yuta put you under a headlock in his arms. “you’re ditching your best friend?!”
you giggled and ticked his sides and followed it with a playful hug. “just kidding. i heard from momo! i’ll be there.” you brushed your hair up into a messy bun while spotting jaehyun starting to feel out of place. “oh! do you wanna come to the party, jae?”
yuta mentally facepalmed and it was given he didn’t like what you did. but your eyes were quick to see his reaction and you slapped his chest. he glared at you while his hands caressed it. why did you have to invite him? it was the whole purpose why he decided to hold a party; maybe you’d finally appreciate his hardwork, or perhaps, notice him as someone more and as not a best friend who only worries and teases you.
jaehyun nodded in response, no words needed. a smile crept your lips as if you were given chocolates on valentine’s. “cool.” you pulled him on the wrist after hearing the coach calling yuta, followed with a loud whistle. “ah yuta, we‘ll get going! see you.”
“mm yeah..” yuta hummed, seeing you both vanish in the distance. “see you..”
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your sulking self laid sideways by jaehyun’s lap, head rested on a pillow. it’s been too long since yuta avoided you, purposely ditched your hangouts, seenzoned your messages and ignored your calls. as if these weren’t obvious enough for you to know something was up. there definitely was but you couldn’t put a finger to it. so you forced jaehyun to let you stay at his place, being it your apartment was currently invaded by your brother’s friends from abroad.
but honestly it was also because you discovered jaehyun’s unit was blocks away from yours. fate was gladly on your side.
“y/n, you know i can’t work properly when you’re like this.” jaehyun sighed while he adjusted his sitting posture and lifting his laptop.
you slightly and lazily your body turned upright, seeing his dimples beginning to show themselves. “let me be.” you complained.
jaehyun put down his laptop. “i can’t. you’re in my way of cramming hours. plus, how long have you been coming here? it’s getting too frequent..” he paused when your eyes were no longer on him— rather they were on your phone, staring at the last conversation from yuta.
he couldn’t bring himself to say that he was reason why yuta acting the way he was to you. and for all honesty he would keep this matter to himself. “did i do something wrong?” you asked.
“of course not. he’s probably in his emo phase. guys have them a lot more than you think.” jaehyun typed on the keyboard for the remaining parts of the essay. “but he’ll get out of it eventually.”
“fine i’ll trust on that.” you sat up and scooted over to see his progress. you submitted your assignment hours ago. looking at jaehyun, it seemed he was struggling at some parts. were you unconsciously pressuring him? the beads of sweat began to roll down his temples and that made you giggle if it was the case. uh-huh. he was really feeling that way.
he gulped so loudly that it came out as a weird noise. he hoped you didn’t hear that. but the way you pursed your lips to hold the laughter in only had him discontinuing his report. “d-don’t do that.”
“do what?” you snicker.
jaehyun rolled his eyes and poked your forehead. “you’re too distracting.”
oh how the tables have turned. that comment flipped your head upside down, your heart in a frenzy and stomach churning. it wasn’t “so”, but “too”— that only meant he wasn’t concentrating on his work for a while.
even so, you waited for him to finish despite questionable feelings you’ve been feeling. his coffee cup already did seconds and thirds. and suddenly you remembered the happy hour the local café was promoting and there was a few minutes left until it ends for the day. you had to bring him there.
but you decided that because you wanted to be out of that suffocating air jaehyun caused.
the more you walked faster, the more jaehyun’s wrist reddened and hurt. but he let you be as he liked how you were comfortable with someone like him. your hair flowed with the wind, the remains of your shampoo left a sweet scent. was it lavender? and the wind blew stronger, making the scent clearer to the nose. his heart skipped beats, because it was indeed lavender. he swore in his head. scrap aside the frequent marathons and meet-ups. lavender’s all the more reason why fell for you quickly than ever.
and when the local café closed early for the day, you almost lost sight of the pedestrian signs. jaehyun pulled you in as the light emitted red. though you had your emotions get the best of you, you realised how childish you were for something so minor. you laughed in awkwardness, he did too. “i didn’t want anyone to see this side-”
warmth. that was all you thought of right there. you were in his embrace.
“..of me.” you soon mumbled in his chest, realising later of the action he just did. “jaehyun-”
“it’s okay. i don’t too.” his hand gently caressed the back of your head, treating it with care as if he held a newborn baby. “so can i keep you?”
that warmth became hotter, almost boiling that you weren’t able to breathe properly. “i’m sorry.” he said, that must’ve surprised you.” jaehyun chuckled.
surprised? of course you were. how was it natural for him to do skinship? and that smoothly? you both weren’t at that stage yet, let alone have a relationship with mutual feelings. even yuta couldn’t hug you because of how conscious you felt.
but then again, you looked up. you saw his ears. it was red, the usual reaction whenever you were with him. was it normal though? you were never aware of it up until now.
because it was so clear now.
“i’ll see you tomorrow? i have to help my mom with some things.” you lied as you scratched your neck.
jaehyun nodded and pulled away. “alright, go on ahead.”
you poked his dimples because he has been staring at you like he had questions to ask. “what is it?”
maybe he didn’t notice or maybe he did, but he was leaning closer, his head tilting to the side and eyes staring into your soul. you knew what he was about to do, you feel like letting him do so but at the same time you weren’t sure of your feelings.  
just a little more and you could’ve locked lips but..
your phone vibrated.
in panic you looked at your device and eyes widened that brought jaehyun aback.
“ah yuta!” you brought your phone so close to your face, not believing your best friend’s announcement on social media, in which he then followed up with a text message.
the light in your eyes was something jaehyun liked seeing, but didn’t so as well.
“oh! he said the concept for the elites’ party is live wardrobe. all singles will go through a ballot draw. it’s for the clothes to wear for the night..” you locked your phone. “tsk i wanted to wear my favourite dress.”
“i think you’ll look great in whatever gown is chosen for you.” jaehyun pat your head while you were immersed in your phone. “now go. it’s getting late.”
“i’ll expect the same for you.” you replied.
he laughed and that didn’t want to make you leave just yet. “nah don’t. i’m just ordinary in a suit.”
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funny how he was so damn wrong.
fate let him draw red, and confidently chose a suit once it was his turn to change. it was as if he knew this attire would go well with him. a suede texture with a black outline on its collar accentuated his brushed up light brown hair, while his black under-shirt contrasted with his porcelain skin. gladly it wasn’t halloween, or else you would’ve mistaken him for a vampire.
he had you feeling all sorts of things, and you didn’t know why when you were nothing more than friends.
an hour ago he was in his usual casual wear. now he was surrounded with ladies who already seemed like they were friends with him for decades. you could see jaehyun was uncomfortable but he kept his cool with folded arms as he leaned against a column. the comments from them irritated you, because at one point they were badmouthing him— and the second he showed up they flooded him with compliments of his good looks and how they named him the “model elite”.
you swirled the wine glass in your hand, the other arm hugged your waist. you rolled your eyes at the falseness these people have towards him. “can’t believe it.” your fingers curled as irritation began to cover your sight. “look at them trying to make a move on him. erlgh too close. they weren’t like that before.”
sicheng rolled his tongue, hands in pockets and walked to be in front of you. “really? you weren’t like that before too.” he pointed out.
“i agree. recently you’re stuck like glue whenever you’re with him.” yuta gestured.
“am so not?” you gasped while your eyes trailed to jaehyun, who was still had patience for the ladies surrounding him. “i just like how he’s a good friend.”
“doubt it.” sicheng poked your cheek. “you wouldn’t feel like this when you have feeli-”
not this again. “i’m grabbing a drink.” yuta suddenly cut the conversation.
“get me one too!” the younger one yelled and after he was satisfied with the gesture, he winced as you pinched his sides from the remark he said earlier. “ow! y/n! it’s true though! i know what i’m seeing!”
truthfully, nothing about sicheng’s words or actions bothered you. but if there was anything that did, it was your own heart. as of tonight, you began to question your feelings towards jaehyun. when did it start? how was it possible to like someone so quickly? “i’m telling you i don’t.” your eyes trailed to him, not realising the rush of heat creeping your cheeks.
jaehyun was approached by yuta, who was giving him a glass of beer. the ladies fled after stealing pictures of the guy and he took the drink in his hands. then they headed towards the garden of the mansion. wonder what he’s here for?
“nice party you have here. concept’s cool.” jaehyun started to break the lingering silence because he knew how awkward this was going to be with your best friend.
“yeah, never knew you’d end up in red. it’s y/n’s favourite colour.” yuta’s voice lowered. there was an impact jaehyun could describe but assuming that would be too rude of him.
“really? i didn’t know.” he hummed. aren’t you a little too happy, jaehyun told himself. he shook it off, for he doesn’t expect him and you to go any further than this.
“now you do. so can you back up for a while? take a week off or something from y/n.” yuta raised his brows.
this was the same feeling from before. he knew this feeling because he felt the exact same way. he wanted to be selfish for once. not like he hated yuta, it was just.. he always had to appear whenever he didn’t want him to. then he would mess his mood. he interrupted his joy of admiring you. jaehyun licked his lips to dampen them. “i’m sorry, who are you to tell me what to do?”
yuta grinned and leaned against the column as he mirrored jaehyun. “don’t you get it?” he asked, his tone rising. “i love y/n. you entering the picture just ruins everything.”
my hunch’s correct. he does love y/n. “if you love her you wouldn’t ignore her.”
“it’s because you’re with her! and she does the same to me! it’s like she’s found someone else-”
“you’re being dramatic.” jaehyun pushed himself off the column and turned to him. “y/n’s sad and moping around because you treated her like she’s all alone. you have no idea how much she waited for you to contact her.”
“what do you know, smartass? you’re just another guy trying to fit in when you know you couldn’t. no matter how much you tried, everyone’s afraid of you. and now you’re telling me you have feelings for y/n? please.” his lips jutted with sounds of disbelief while his body posture challenged jaehyun. “y/n’s kind to everyone she meets. it’s who she is. but to think you have hope to be with someone like her? if you ask me, all i see is a greatest mismatch.”
jaehyun usually didn’t give a damn of the comments about him. he couldn’t care less of any of those. in fact he’d hear them through one ear and out they went. but when he said anything, it irked him.
you see, that was the thing— right now, he actually listened.
he turned a blind eye on yuta’s words and let it off for the night. he was given a drink and maybe the alcohol didn’t work its way on him than it did to guy. in the end, yuta was probably spilling tea even if he didn’t intend to.
“what i feel for y/n has nothing to do with you. just like people can’t control the tides,” jaehyun lightly knocked onto yuta’s chest. “i can’t control mine.”
the footsteps echoed in yuta’s ears, he could hear them despite the noisy hall. “rghhh!” he grabbed hold of his glass and threw it towards jaehyun.
sounds of shattering glass met the ground, as well as catching everyone’s attention. then there was silence. jaehyun began to lose his patience as he turned around. his smirk challenged him. ouch. this was the fight yuta was looking for, seeing jaehyun’s heavy breaths only made him stand on his toes.
jaehyun punched him in the jaw though he knew it wasn’t worth his time. but he wanted to give him a taste of stepping beyond boundaries. yuta punched him back too. he made sure the star of the night was the other— shone the brightest and reveal his true nature. he didn’t count the number of hits he received, as long as jaehyun stayed that way.
“i told you it wouldn’t be good if you provoked me!” jaehyun growled. “you’re asking for show? i’ll give you one!”
“huh..” yuta wiped his bleeding lip. “you sure about that, beast?”
jaehyun held himself for the next punch, feeling all of the pairs of eyes on him. yours included. that was what he feared. “aw. what impression does she have on you now?” yuta’s cooing words caused jaehyun’s eyes to soften.
all bleeding and bruised, jaehyun’s injuries have matched with his suit. he clenched his fists as he frustratingly left the hall.
in your peripheral, your eyes trailed his direction and your legs followed him by heart, without realising yuta calling out your name several times. everything went blank, not thinking things straight because while everyone watched, no one understood. you glared at yuta before heading outside, a more disappointed sigh was the only response he got from you.
yuta was then nudged by sicheng. the latter could see the change in his expression. “what did i tell you?”
“you don’t have to tell me.” yuta dusted his pants.
“i’m still gonna.” sicheng rolled his eyes and poked the lad’s temple. “that’s what you call ‘stupidity’. if only you confessed to her before maybe things would be different between you guys.”
“i don’t want things to be different dude.”
“i’m gonna state the obvious, you probably already know this but.. you lost this battle.”
“crap..” yuta’s voice changed from a nervous chuckle to a soft sob. “i liked her first.”
you spotted jaehyun sitting atop a metal barrier just in front of the carpark— head down to mend his injuries and scratches. he sniffed from the cool night breeze before hopping off. “you’ll hurt your feet.” he pointed at the heels you had dangling in your hands.
his gaze softened when you pointed at his face, especially the black eye. “touché.” he chuckled, later feeling your cold hands against his throbbing flesh. “it’s no big deal-”
“i’m sorry about yuta’s behaviour.” you sighed. “don’t let it get into you. he’s an airhead when he’s drunk-”
“you sure? he seemed pretty sober when he said- ah.” he pursed his lips to speak any further. “nevermind.”
now that gotten you curious. “what did he say? spill it!” you whined, causing jaehyun mouth to curve a little in amusement.
jaehyun prolonged the silence and grabbed your shoes, leading you towards his car. once he unlocked it and opened the door, he bursted out in a loud, healthy laugh. “he said he was head over heels for you.”
you pushed him to the driver’s seat and slammed the door, rolling your eyes at the pun. “that was so lame!” you sat on the other side. “but i know that already if you thought i didn’t. i subtly turned him down ages ago. guess he didn’t take the message.”
“clearly.”
as you tended to his wounds, one question still had your curiosity at its peak. jaehyun was quiet through-out, so it was hard to bring the topic up for a while. until your eyes and his met.
“what did you tell him before he threw the glass at you?” you dabbed the cotton onto the beaten area. “it must’ve pissed him.”
he dropped his car keys and let out a nervous hum. “uh..” he didn’t know what else to say. right when he was finally about to tell you, you suddenly giggled.
“unless you told him you like me and that made him angry, but i doubt that happened.” your lips shrank to a circle, cursing at yourself for assuming too much. girl the guts you have was incomparable—
jaehyun’s large hand held yours while you continued to apply medication. the warmth, the heat and the building tension of skinship made you weak. “you’re right.”
your smile and breaths changed in an instant when he fixed himself on the seat. he smirked a little, finding how cute you were. it drove him crazy.
“i like you, for the longest time, since the orientation. i’m so into you that i couldn’t help myself be selfish and have you to myself— i- i don’t know what i’m saying.” he sighed, pushing himself away in embarrassment with arms above his face.
“t-thanks.” you fiddled with your fingers.
“i’m not asking for an answer. i just wanted to let you know.” he said. “gosh this is a bad timing for confession.”
“then is it a bad timing if i said i’m into you too?” you looked away and out in the distance. you could see his reaction on the window’s reflection. he was shocked, but an uncontrollable smile was forcing itself on the surface. it was written in the dimples.
“no,” his husky voice called you to look back. “you’re just about right.”
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Text
love letter, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: Jeon Jungkook gets love letters shoved in his mailbox and under his apartment door all the damn time. You, too, get love letters shoved in your mailbox and under your door. All the time. It could be a sweet gesture, but this is the twenty-first century. Love letters aren't all they're cracked up to be. 
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; short graphic descriptions of sex acts; smut (fem reader, a very intense make-out session including some wild tongue and too much saliva, nipple play, a bit of m-receiving oral, cowgirl, handjob); non-idol!BTS – technically university, blond, softsub!Jungkook x working, softdom!reader; slightly desperate and needy JK
yes, yes, it’s MTV Unplugged ‘Telepathy’JK
--
"I'm so tired of people thinking they have a chance with me."
Was the exasperated declaration as you backed up into your apartment, only to turn around and witness Jeon Jungkook dumping a waterfall of colorful envelopes from his giant black backpack onto your hardwood floor. 
"At least remove your shoes before you start flaunting how hot you are," you replied dryly.
Jungkook rolled his eyes as he kicked off his large white sneakers. "Look at this shit! It's relentless! It's annoying! I just want to live my life!"
You vaguely recalled Jungkook being excited about his first love letter upon reaching university, and then the second, the third... and now you were staring at pile number five hundred on your doormat. "I don't know, put a sign on your door? 'Please stop, the answer is no?'"
Jungkook winced. "I can't do that. How many hearts am I going to break?"
"Uh, I dunno, you already broke half the campus by existing in general."
He bonked you on the head lightly with his denim jacket sleeve. "I have not. I've only slept with a couple people and that was supposed to be no strings attached."
You shrugged. "People can't understand that. Especially women."
He puffed his cheeks and stepped over the pile. You noticed the small stickers and nice handwriting on the colorful pastel paper. You almost felt bad, seeing all the effort put into them.
"At least they're cute. I only get torn notebook pages with scribbles."
"Stop lying. You get girls' letters too," Jungkook grumbled. "Can I borrow your computer? One of my professors assigned an online quiz and the internet at my place is down, again."
"You gotta move," you commented, kneeling down to collect the mess Jungkook made. You noticed Jungkook flit his eyes about before throwing up his hands and bending down to help you. 
"I'm trying to get out of the lease, but I have a couple more months left," he complained childishly.
"What about your other friends? Can't you go bother them?"
Jungkook frowned, sticking out his lower lip. The tiny mole underneath winked at you. "You hate me now or something?"
You laughed, standing up with a stacked pile of confessions to Jeon Jungkook. "No, I'm just curious as to why you always come here."
He shoved the rest in your arms, his pile slightly messier than yours. "You live the closest and you're usually home. Plus, you have two computers."
"A laptop and a desktop," you corrected. "Don't you have a laptop?"
"It's easier to borrow yours."
"Lazy."
Jungkook ignored your remark and ticked his silvery-blond head further into the apartment. "Can I borrow it or not?"
You laughed. "Of course. Laptop's on the bed."
He turned and followed the hallway to your bedroom. "Same password?" he yelled, not looking back.
"Obviously."
"Why is it my birth date?" he shouted.
"Because, one, no one will guess it, and, two, you're a dumbass and always forget it."
"I do not!"
"How many times did you ask when the password was Klingon?"
"I don't know your nerdy shit!"
"Do your fucking assignment," you belted down the hall. 
Jungkook stuck his head out of your bedroom door and scrunched his nose to make a hideous face at you, holding your gunmetal-colored laptop. You rolled your eyes as he disappeared again. This crackhead. You let out a sigh, walking past the acrylic painting of a blue sky with pink-purple clouds hanging in your living room, flicking through at all the letters addressed to Jungkook.
Surprisingly, you knew what he felt like. With you, it started with inviting one guy over to your place, sucking his dick, and then suddenly a letter appeared. Well, letter was putting it nicely. Dirty napkin with words scrawled with smeared ballpoint pen shoved under your door, explicitly asking for more. Then another, wanting it. Then another, begging for it. You ignored them. At some point, you invited a girl over, ate her out, and then the colorful envelopes started appearing, with cute stickers and neat handwriting.
Mmmhmm.
Why did Jungkook bring them here anyway? To brag? For you to peruse? You spread them out them on your coffee table and tore one open. Read it. Simple confession of love, no name. You were kind of jealous. Jungkook always got nicer ones than you did. Something about being a sexually uninhibited woman seemed to translate to others that you were down to fuck anyone, anytime, anything. You tossed the letter aside, ripped open a folded card closed with lilac tape. Another, 'I love you, please go out with me', no name. Toss. And you opened another one, reading out loud. 
"I want to cram all one hundred and seventy-nine centimeters of you into me?”
Uh.
Huh.
Still no name.
Cute peach stationery though. 
Was it a euphemism? Symbolic? Thinly veiled code? Hm. In any case, this was more along the lines of shamelessness you encountered yourself. 
By all conventions, Jeon Jungkook was attractive as fuck. Pretty pink lips, big brown eyes, manly sharp jawline. He kept his hair on the longer side, around ear length, now silvery-blond compared to the usual black. You heard he dyed it a couple times, but now it had since faded to the original blond.
Oh, yeah, also he had nice hands and a body to die for. 
You could see why Jungkook got all these love letters. You? Well, similar reasons, except less muscles. Also, yours weren't really love letters. More like vulgar remarks on the backs of grubby receipts. 
Probably just as heartfelt.
The only reason you knew of Jungkook was because you were friends with one of his close friends. Alright, maybe you sucked his friend's dick. More than once. But anyway, not the point. The point was that the topic of love letters came up one night when everyone was hanging out and you voiced your predicament. It was the summer before Jungkook entered university. He had burst out laughing, thinking it was a hilarious situation.
"Haha, that would never happen to me!"
Jokes on you, Jungkook, karma's a bitch. 
You thought about moving, but the location was close to your work and the internet service was great here. At least you always recycled the paper. What were you supposed to do? Keep an album of Starbucks napkins of people asking if your tongue was good or not?
You opened another envelope addressed to 'sweet, adorable Jungkookie'.
Their words, not yours. 
"Shove your dick down my throat and make me gag? Smiley face?"
Well, that's a contrast. 
Jungkook didn't start contacting you on his own until the letters started coming and then they didn’t stop coming, flooding his mailbox and underneath his door, overwhelming and confusing him. He didn't think he would get much attention, although perhaps it might be your fault, since you seemed to have set the precedence for this type of thing at this particular university. There was at least one person in every year that got this treatment, and it all started with one dirty napkin with smeared ink. Rumor caught on and then bam! It became a thing. 
So, yeah. 
Maybe kind of your fault.
You shouldn't have told so many people about that napkin. 
You fished out a pizza receipt from the pile, inspecting it. You couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. Then you noticed it had Jungkook's phone number and an order of three pizzas. Not a confession, just trash from Jungkook's backpack. Did he really eat three pizzas? Hopefully not by himself and in one sitting. You noticed the timestamp. Mmm, three in the morning. Okay. Maybe he did eat three pizzas by himself in one sitting. 
You filed through the rest, removing trash from the recyclable paper. Paused when you found a scrap of paper that said, "Put your dick in my ass." You recognized this curvy, narrow handwriting, slightly heavy-handed. Same person wrote you the same note this week. 
This was why you didn't take the messages too seriously.
You saw a particularly thick purple envelope and picked it up, tearing it open. It was several pages, with tiny, crammed handwriting on paper with cute bunnies on it. Several pages detailing straight up porn with Jungkook as the leading role. 
You almost burst out laughing. 
Who the fuck would write this?
And send it to him?
Not you, that's for fucking sure. 
Still, it wasn't the worst thing you've ever read. Had some spelling mistakes and poor grammar. Instant turn-off. Needed a good proofread. You settled onto your brown leather couch, highly entertained as you read it. Then you actually burst out laughing, because said person wanted Jungkook to lift them and fuck them at the same time and that kinda shit just wasn't possible. You would know, because you’ve tried. It sounded good, but in practice, the dick ended up falling out pretty quickly if the pussy was any sort of wet.
If you weren’t wet, then, eh, not sure why you're fucking. 
"What is so fucking funny?" Jungkook grumbled, poking his head around the corner, still holding your laptop. 
You held up the sheets of bunny-printed paper, still laughing. "Someone sent you their written erotica and you're the star!"
Jungkook grimaced. "Oh yeah, that person. They write something new every week. It's weird." He frowned. "I try to take it out so you don't have to read that shit. I must have missed it."
"It's hilarious," you chuckled. "You should publish them into a book."
"You know I can't do that," Jungkook sighed, putting your laptop on the coffee table and snatching the pages from you. "I throw them away like everything else."
"Did you finish your assignment?" you chortled, leaning over to look at the laptop screen. Submission successful. "80%?! When you could easily cheat?"
"I read a question wrong," Jungkook whined, balling up the paper and throwing it down. "Ack."
You looked up at him and he was looking upset at the pile on the table. 
"What's wrong?"
"What if one of them is real?" 
"Huh?"
"I mean... I just throw them away now. But what if one of them is real?" Jungkook wondered out loud. 
You shrugged. "Does it matter? They'll tell you in person if it's that important."
Jungkook tilted his head at you doubtfully. "Will they?"
You sat back into your couch, with your legs wide open. You were wearing sleek black leggings and a cropped pink sweatshirt. Not the most ladylike pose, but you didn't really care. You gestured to the stack of letters on your wooden coffee table. 
"They should. If they actually like you and it's not a joke, then they should tell you in person and accept that they might be rejected."
Jungkook frowned and slumped down next to you. His light-wash denim jacket made a loud floof as his ass hit the brown leather cushions. The wash of his jeans matched his jacket. He wore a white graphic t-shirt under. It looked vintage, but it probably wasn’t. 
"What if they're nervous?" he questioned, twisting his pink lips around.
"So what? Everyone's nervous. We all live in a perpetual state of terror."
Jungkook rolled his eyes. 
You leaned forward and plucked a sky-blue memo note from the table, reading it out loud. "I love you. Marry me." You held it out to him. "See? You get nice ones. I get, ‘choke me like you hate me’ and 'shove your tongue into my asshole, please'. Rarely do I get is that please at the end," you finished with a dry laugh. You looked up to see Jungkook staring back at you. Your laugh died a little seeing his serious expression. 
"Yes."
You blinked at him. "What?"
Jungkook ticked his chin to the note, then shifted his eyes to you.
You pointed to the memo sheet and raised an eyebrow. "I didn't write this."
"I did."
He was so serious that you couldn't laugh. You just blinked at him rapidly and turned your head to look at the sky-blue memo sheet, finally recognizing the clean, block-like handwriting and spotting the bottom right corner. English letters. A J and a K fused together, the way Jungkook usually signed his paintings.
You dropped the note like it was on fire.
Jerked your head up, not to him, but to the painting across from you in the living room, the one with the blue sky and pink-purple clouds, with a tiny JK signature in black at the bottom right corner. The painting you asked Jungkook to make you a while back. 
"You paint, right? I want something calm for my living room. I bought a canvas, so about this size. It's that cool?"
Jungkook had squinted his eyes, nodding. "Yeah, I could draw a pretty big dick on it."
"This is for my living room, dumbass. And I said I wanted something calm."
"A flaccid dick then."
You turned your head back to Jungkook of now, who was wringing his hands on his thighs, wiping off his palms. He noticed you watching him and puffed one cheek before letting out a big sigh. 
"I was... gonna leave it on your laptop," Jungkook mumbled, flapping a hand to the sky-blue note. "But I couldn't find it in my backpack, and then I realized one of the pockets was open, the one where I keep receipts... anyway I had put the note there, so I came out to see if it was in the pile... yup, there it is."
He sucked in his cheek and fell back against the leather sofa.
"Was a joke."
Jungkook's voice sounded hollow. Empty. 
"... Ah." You tucked the tip of your tongue in your cheek.
"Not the greatest joke," he added flatly.
“No, it’s not,” you agreed. "Jokes that are insincere are bad jokes."
The black words glared back up at you, contrasting the pale azure paper. You picked up the memo sheet again. Turned to face him, holding it up next to Jungkook's head of silvery-blond hair. He pursed his lips and looked away from you, jaw clenched in nervousness. 
"Just say it."
He puffed one cheek again. "It was a joke."
"Then why are you saying it in past tense?"
His brown orbs shifted from side to side before Jungkook tried to bolt out of his seat, only for you to slam a hand down on his shoulder and throw a leg over him, straddling his lap before pinning the note to his chest. He yelped sharply and looked up at you with huge, shaking irises. 
In all your time knowing him, you never tried to sleep with Jungkook.
Never. 
You jabbed the note into his white shirt and he gave you a terrified squeak in response. 
You scrutinized his face, jaw slack, eyes wide, blond curls framing his chiseled cheekbones. One of your eyebrows raised, your voice calm and unfazed.
"Say it."
"You say it," Jungkook finally shot back, furrowing his brows, biting on his lip and mustering up the most indignant look he could produce at this very second. You didn’t react. He seemed to have forgotten you did, in fact, say it, although perhaps that wasn’t exactly what he meant.
You never tried to fuck Jungkook because he didn’t treat you as anything more than his primary source of internet when his own was down. Ah, and also his outlet for complaining about his love letter problem. And then there was that other little wrinkle, the unwritten societal rule one of sucking a guy's dick you're still friends with - don't suck his friends' dicks. Surefire way to fuck up a friendship, especially if the dude’s ego was fragile.
Jungkook’s friend was dating someone else now though. His ego couldn’t be that fragile.
You leaned forward and Jungkook's annoyed gaze faltered. He gulped and tried to shrink into your brown leather couch, as if he could somehow disappear under you.
"I love you," you stated clearly and firmly. You glanced at the slightly crumpled piece of blue paper before your eyes flickered back to his face. "Marry me."
Hah, the thing about rules with you was...
Fuck 'em.
Not actually. 
Eh, not the point.
"Really?" Jungkook squeaked, voice cracking slightly.
Ah, right, the other reason you never tried to sex up Jungkook because he was a little bit of an idiot around you. But maybe this sky-blue note detailed the reason for it. 
"Say it," you repeated crossly, poking him in the pecs. "Stop avoiding it."
You observed Jungkook swallow hard again, Adam’s apple bobbing. You furrowed your brows, tipping your head down so that your forehead was hovering over his, eyebrow cocked, gazing into trembling brown orbs. Why was he taking so long? He wrote the damn words. Were they really just a joke? Hmph, why were you even trying then?
That’s how everyone was.
Not putting any stock or thought into their fucking words.
You lifted your finger but Jungkook’s right hand, the one with tiny tattoos, suddenly darted in your view, grabbing your hand back and jamming your finger onto his chest again. His heartbeat raced under your fingertip, thud-thud-thud, rapid bass accenting the moment. Electrifying it.
“Don’t.”
Whisper so faint you frowned and closed even more distance between you two, picking up the scent of vanilla fabric softener and lush cotton. A little different than you, who used a blackberry and spiced vanilla perfume.
“I like this,” Jungkook breathed under you, chewing his lip anxiously. You could feel his warm breath tickling your lips and chin with how close you were. You could count his individual eyebrow hairs, even though the eyebrow product he used.
“I… really like this.”
He let go of your hand.
Now you raised both eyebrows.
You slowly uncurled your middle finger, landing it on his chest next to the index. You felt him shiver a little, lips parting. Straightened your ring finger, planting it down. His lashes lowered a little, brown orbs on your face, watching your reaction to him. You could count the moles on his face. The one on his nose. The one on his cheek. The one under his lower lip. The one on his neck. Your pinky slid onto his chest. A wispy moan left his lips, eyelids fluttering, blond strands floating around his head with the little rise and fall of his heavy, tense exhale.
Why is it your birth date?
Take a wild guess, dumbass.
Your fingers abruptly dug into his white t-shirt, crumpling the note and scrunching the graphic up in your fist. He inhaled sharply, head tipping back and lips nearing yours, a whine escaping his throat. You quirked an eyebrow, drawing back slightly, taking in the rich depth of his tan skin, the sensual line of his neck, up to his angular chin and his dangling silver earrings. All of it. His hands immediately came up to grab your wrist and forearm, ensuring you and himself that you wouldn’t let go, the tendons in your flexed wrist right against his large palm.
“Say it, Jungkook,” you demanded. “Say those words with your pretty pink tongue hanging out your mouth for me.”
You watched him obey immediately, tongue sliding out and touching his lower lip, brown eyes framed by his long lashes and hazy with lust.
“I love you,” Jungkook breathed, a little gargled with his tongue out. “Fucking marry me, please.”
Ah, you couldn't help it. 
You smirked.
"What about all your admirers?" you murmured, twisting your fingers in his shirt, digging your nails into his chest. "You'll break all those poor hearts you’re worried about."
Those dark brown eyes told you they didn't give a single fuck. 
"What about you?" he countered, closing his mouth a little to speak more clearly.
"Me?"
The definition of trouble?
Well, if you looked that up in a dictionary, there would definitely be a picture of you. 
Jungkook’s lips parted once more, keen to submit to your wickedness, pink tongue slipping out again, shiny and glistening with saliva. Breathing shallowly, rubbing your wrist with his thumb, encouraging you to keep going. 
Your lips curved into a treacherous smile.
"I'll break all the hearts to get to yours, Jungkook."
And then you licked his tongue. 
A low moan bubbled from Jungkook's chest, his eyes rolling back and his hips bucking up, desperate for friction as the tip of your wet muscle glided over his warm softness, your spit dripping down his throat, listening to his moans turn into messy garbles of your name, begging you, pleading you, more, more, kiss me, please, and you hooked your tongue around his, gently nudging his jaw with your other hand. Knuckle to chin, tilting your head as your lips closed onto Jungkook's. 
It was not a neat kiss.
There was spit running down his chin, dripping onto his neck and your skin, your lips roughly working his, tongues intertwined and making even more of a mess, you sucking forcefully to earn pained, delicious whines. Jungkook was far too turned on to attempt to glamorize it, cries a jumbled mess under your greedy mouth, but none of that mattered. The moment was sensual and dark, bodies speaking to each other through dopamine and adrenaline. Your hand released his shirt, breaking his grip, switching to burrowing your fingers into his soft blond hair and running your nails over his scalp, leaving lines of prickling pain to enhance your kiss. 
"F-Fuck, oh fuck, yes..."
Your teeth caught his tongue, pulling back and forcing his head to follow. Jungkook made a pained noise, trapped in your embrace, whining as you took him to the brink. You released him swiftly and he snapped backward, blinking hard, trying to reorient himself, but it was impossible, your lips crashing down again, thrusting your tongue into his mouth aggressively, one eye open to witness his fucked-out state, pupils unfocused, long lashes quivering, moaning into your mouth and you inhaling it all, literally taking his breath away. 
It started out with a kiss. 
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss. 
It was only a kiss. 
You dropped your lower half onto his crotch and Jungkook gasped, breaking the kiss, strings of spit breaking between you two. You smirked wickedly as you felt his hardness trying to escape its clothing jail, his large hands already on your thighs and hips, sinking his fingers into the soft fabric of your leggings, rocking you into him, desperately trying to get some stimulation.
"Please," he croaked, panting for breath, pulling himself up to sitting position, so easy and smooth, fuck, so sexy, and now Jungkook was in your face, pleas on the tip of his tongue pouring out, tempting you, wanting it. 
"Please, wanna be yours so fucking bad, seeing all those fucking letters and notes you get, and it pisses me off, it's me, I want it to be me, I want to be yours and I'm telling you to your face." 
Whisper achingly hot, deep voice soaked with longing, staring into your eyes with those shaking brown orbs, spinning with emotion like an unstable top, barely enough torque holding it in place and all it took was another spin to encourage it or a gust of rejection to topple it over. 
"And you don't even care about mine, you think they're fucking funny, fuck, I can't stand it, let it be me, please..."
His hands running up your sides, grazing against your breasts, and now his hands were in your hair and yours were in his, bringing your face close, the crumpled sky-blue note right between your joined crotches, forgotten, witnessing the agonizing lust wound tightly in this embrace. 
"Let it be me," Jungkook begged.
You licked your lips slowly, scarcely swiping against his. He shuddered, leaning into it, taking whatever crumbs you gave. His long fingers tensed in your hair, yours buried in the dark roots of his. 
"You'll have to skip the marriage bit for now," you teased lightly. "I don't think my parents will appreciate you slapping down papers before you finish school."
Jungkook snickered, tucking his tongue in his cheek roguishly. "Can't they understand I have to snatch this ass as soon as possible to make people back off?"
Your hands slipped down to his jaw, fitting it in your palms, his silvery-blond stands wrapped around your fingertips. "They'll back off my door once they hear you screaming my name." 
You leaned in, but Jungkook stopped you, brown orbs glittering with mischief to get in one more quip. 
"I doubt it," he purred. 
Yeah. 
Jungkook was right. 
Ah, well. 
You seized his face and kissed him again, fuck, such malleable lips just pleading to be bitten by you, gazing up his nose and to his beautiful eyes, his soft skin in your hands, clenching his jaw under your power, letting you have it, letting you control it and him. You felt him scramble and throw his denim jacket off, dumping it onto your couch to cup your cheeks with his hands, sighing in satisfaction as you inhaled him. Your tongue lazily traced the outskirts of his lips, hearing the rattle of his beaded bracelets by your ears, amused, knowing they were his good luck charms. 
"They bring good luck," he had answered when you saw them for the first time.
You remembered tilting your head at the wooden beads on his slim wrists. "You trying to get your dick sucked or something?"
He had broken out in a loud guffaw. Nudged you with his elbow, cheeky smile on his lips. 
"Never gonna say no to getting my dick sucked."
"Mhm, cool, where's my painting of the flaccid dick?"
From then on, you noticed he wore the same wooden, beaded bracelets every time he came to your apartment.
Hmm. 
Now, your hands falling from his face, yanking his shirt from his pants, annoyed it was getting caught, and then Jungkook fitted his hands around your ass and lifted you easily, breaking the kiss, a moment for you to bear witness to his arms flexing – holy fuck, that’s sexy – right one covered in tattoos. Images and script, with one catching your eye, a string of words running up the inside of his upper arm. One you recognized because you had those words written on your bedroom wall, on a canvas hanging above your bed. A canvas you made, background a chaotic mess of varying dark red brushstrokes, the black script in the center, written by your hand. 
The exact black script with your flourishes and ticks, now tattooed on the inside of his right arm. 
Your eyes drifted to Jungkook's face and his naughty smirk, pleased to be found out. Your lips formed the sentence slowly, in awe of his audacity.
"The devil knows my name."
the devil knows my name. 
Hung above your bed, where all manner of marvelous sinful acts were performed. 
Jungkook grinned deviously. "I saw it. I wanted it on me."
Wanted it on him. 
Oh, fuck. 
Did he know? Could he guess?
"Who's the devil?" you whispered, smile widening, matching his. 
Jungkook reached down, yanking his t-shirt out of his jeans and pulling it up and over his head, revealing the body he sculpted himself, tan skin taut over hard muscle, toned and...
"You're the devil, of course," he snickered. 
Yours. 
"Ding dong daeng," you sing-songed.
How many people have been on your bed, head pulled back by your hand, blinking hard, trying to read the words on your wall through waves of forced ecstasy? Gasping them out, ending with a question, inquiring for an answer.
The devil knows my name?
And you, leaning forward, haunting whisper in their ears, yes, she does, before pushing their face down into the sheets.
"All those love letters not good enough for you, Jungkook?" you breathed, running your hands over his bare chest, spreading your fingers, letting your exhale out through your teeth. His eyes on you, torso trembling, hairs raising, feeling your nails dance up, up, raking over his collarbones and neck, leaving little pink lines of intensity.
"They're not you," he whispered. His hands brushing over yours, outlining your fingers, eyes darkening as you pushed him back into your sofa, lowering your head. "You, the one they talk about..." Your lips on his hot skin, kissing softly, tongue so slight that it made him whimper. "You, the one they look for..." His voice, deep and rumbling, vibrating your lips, pitching as you bit and sucked, leaving small hickeys. "You, the one whose bed I sit on, wondering who else has been there, wondering why it's not me, when I make myself available to you, so easy to prey on, but you let me be..." Your lips closing around his dark brown nipple, scraping your teeth against it, making him squirm and look down at you, you and your self-satisfied, ravenous smirk. 
"I let you read them," Jungkook whimpered, blond strands curled around his cheeks, chest shuddering at your nail flicking his other nipple while your mouth worked the other. "Let you see everything they want to do to me and you still didn't know."
You chuckled darkly. "What's there to know?" you mused, sticking your tongue out and pressing it against the now hard pink-tinged nub, receiving small whines of pleasure as your reward. "It's obvious what you wanted. I was right in front of you. All you had to do was say something."
Jungkook frowned as you sat up, tongue in cheek, half-grinning.
"Look at you."
You crossed your arms and pulled your pink cropped sweatshirt up and over your head, dropping it to the floor. Casually running a hand through the top of your hair to pull it away from your face, gazing down at shirtless Jungkook covered in your red bites, cocking your head with a smirk. He raised an eyebrow, eyes roaming over your figure and the curve of your breasts molded to smooth black satin. 
"You look like you eat hearts for breakfast," he murmured, admiration in his tone.
The side of your lips quirked further upwards.
"And yet you wanna love me."
Jungkook grinned. "I don't want to. I already do."
And then he was the one to pull you to him, kissing you hungrily, you immediately turning it into your favor, your pace, his tongue commanded by yours as he unhooked your bra, moaning into your mouth, rubbing your exposed nipples with his palms, unable to do much as you pushed him into the couch again, guiding his tongue down with your teeth and running the tip of yours over his wet muscle once more, trickling saliva into his throat and onto his chin and neck, messy and lewd. 
"The devil knows your name," you sighed into his mouth, feeling him knead your breasts, thumbs brushing over your hard nipples, tendrils of pleasure making your skin tingle. "And now the devil takes what she wants."
You saw the sides of his lips curve upwards as you backed up to strip the rest of your clothes, amused at Jungkook eagerly following suit and unbuttoning his jeans.
"Can't wait to flaunt how hot you are?" you laughed, reaching down to the shelf under the side table where a ceramic R2-D2 cookie jar sat.
"Do you think I'm hot?" Jungkook haughtily accused before gawking at your waist to ass ratio, his hands slowing, pants stopped to his knees in his distraction.
You gently took off the head of R2-D2 and plucked a condom from it. Some guy told you once that you couldn't like Star Trek and Star Wars at the same time and you told him to shut the fuck up as you slapped his nuts. He begged you to do it again. You fondly patted R2-D2's head after you fitted it back.
You straightened to see Jungkook on your couch with his hard dick on display.
You looked him dead in the eye. "You think I'd let you borrow my laptop if I thought you were ugly?"
Jungkook broke out of his trance and shrugged, finally yanking his calves – holy shit, his calves and thighs were muscular as fuck – out of his jeans, underwear and socks gone with them.
"Maybe you pitied my grades."
"I'd just pay for you to go to the library and fuck off, dumbass," you muttered, pushing his hands aside and ripping the condom open, drinking in the delicious sight of his throbbing red cock dripping pre-cum, his balls just waiting for – fuck it, you got down on your knees and wrapped your tongue around his length, Jungkook sputtering and gasping at your suddenness. Fuck, he smelled and tasted fucking good, clean and velvety to your lips enclosing around the head and sliding down, using one hand to scoop up his balls. Made eye contact with him again.
Jungkook breathed your name hesitantly.
Your tongue slid out of your lips and you jammed his cock all the way down your throat, slathering his balls wetly with your whisking tongue, circling around one and then the other, long expansive strokes that went past the girth of his cock, your pink tongue visible to him. Jungkook's pupils blew wide with shock, moans catching in his throat, whole body shivering, trying desperately not to look away even through you could tell he wanted to throw himself into your sofa and fucking lose it.
"Oooooooh, fuck, that's amazing.... Holy shit, your tongue is everything...."
You chuckled and pulled your head back, satisfied with his reaction. He seemed slightly disappointed until you rolled down the condom, cracking your neck.
"I think I've given enough." You stood up, getting back on top of him and his glorious thighs. "Time for you to be taken."
Jungkook smirked.
You smirked wider and more wickedly.
The sky-blue memo was crumpled into a ball, fallen to your hardwood floor.
Held him with two fingers, ugh, the weight of his cock, fuck yes, and those beautiful dark chocolate eyes, Jungkook, you dumbass, cursing that he didn't tell you sooner so that you could watch him groan and throw his head back like he was right now, gasping at your tightness, your name torn from his throat as you took in every centimeter of him, every pulsing vein and contour of his wonderful cock, stupid Jungkook and his attractive self not using his damn words so you could ride him like you were right now, setting up a fast, bruising pace. Your fingers dug into the back of the couch as you bucked your hips into his violently, keeping yourself tight because you were so fucking wet, fuck, so wet for Jeon Jungkook and his idiotic self, asking for internet to do his school assignments and not asking for his dick to be used as your fucking joystick. 
Dumbass.
"Oh fuck," Jungkook gasped. "Oh, fuck, you're so wet and tight, shit, shit, shit..."
"Tell me something I haven't heard before," you chuckled, only half-meaning it, waving your entire body to deliver a particularly hard smack to his crotch, Jungkook whimpering under you, his hands flying to your upper arms and clutching them, trying to hold on to your wildness.
"Holy fuck, you have some hard biceps," he blurted out, startled at the prominent muscle.
Well, you haven't heard that one before.
"Guess that's what happens when you jack off a lot of dick," you mused nonchalantly.
You ticked your head to Jungkook's arms – delicious – and he frowned at you, opening his mouth to protest and you cut him off by shoving two fingers into his lips, pressing them down into the wet warmth, grinning maniacally as you watched him struggle with your fingers rubbing his tongue and his cock getting assaulted by you aggressively slamming your hips down and clamping around his stiffness, tighter, faster, whines of your name in his throat, head falling back onto the couch with a flump. You were careful not to push your fingers too far. 
Getting vomited on wasn't really on your sexual activities bingo card.
Jungkook was, however, drooling down his chin and neck, and you pulled back to grab his shoulder with your wet hand – oh, fuck, his shoulder, what a lovely shape – and Jungkook wheezed for breath, you ignoring it as you focused all your energy on fucking the life out of him, dirty squelches and smacks of hips on hips, staring down at his abs and v-line, all his hard work at the gym on display, his hands still on your upper arms as he raised his hips to meet yours, needily moaning for you to destroy him with your pace.
Damn, maybe you would have sent him a love letter if you had seen him naked at least once.
"A-Ask me to cum for you," Jungkook finally got out, voice hoarse from breathing so hard for so long.
"You're going to anyway," you taunted.
"Want you to ask," he whined, almost pouting. "Tell me to do it."
You gazed into his eyes, into those brown irises overtaken by black pupils, him a top spinning by your hand, your plaything commanded by your body, pussy clenching around his twitching cock, spurred on from his pleading tone, giving him a devious and wicked grin, speaking to his swollen lips, the devil knows your name, Jungkook, and him moaning back, fuck yes she does, so close, so fucking close, unashamedly barreling towards your release, power in your veins and under you, his muscles rippling as he fucked you back, amplifying every thrust.
"Jungkook."
"Y-Yes?"
"Say it."
Brown eyes locked with yours.
"I love you. Marry me."
You smirked.
"Cum for me."
A half-second and then you let go, letting the feeling rush in and envelop you, the moment held back to torture him, and now you felt it all, already at the tipping point, strained moan as your orgasm crashed into you, shudders all over and falling, sitting all the way down in his lap to experience the throbbing ache of your core giving out and spilling onto his cock and balls in rapid bursts, viscous and sweet. The scent of sex mixing with blackberry and spiced vanilla, his length jerking inside you, and only then did you hear Jungkook crying out your name over and over, the roar in your ears fading out to his shivering moans, hands sliding up and down your arms, eyes closing and lost in the pleasure of your pussy squeezing out his cum. His touch travelling down to your waist, pulling you to him.
Messy, soft kisses, your name and curses mixed together.
"It's me, right?"
You smiled into his mouth that was still asking questions.
"Please let it be me. You'll let me love you for real, right?"
Pushing your hair back, his sweaty blond locks sticking to your face.
"Because I already do, can't stop, won't stop–"
"Yeah, Jungkook, funnily enough I figured that from the first kiss already," you chuckled, running your fingers through his ash blond hair and pulling his head back lightly, seeing him pout, the mole underneath his lower lip peeking out.
"But..."
"Hm?"
His voice suddenly small, vulnerable, his semi-hard dick still inside you.
"Do you love me?"
You lifted a brow. "What kind of dumbass question is that?" You grabbed his arm and pressed your nail into his tattoo of your words, drawing a pink scratch under them, making him gasp. "How can I not love you? Fuck, that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen, my handwriting tattooed onto you. Yes, I love you, Jungkook."
Jungkook's jaw dropped.
This fool is still shocked after all this?
You reached down and held the condom down as you lifted yourself off, yanking him to his feet, pushing Jungkook to your coffee table, right in front of the pile of letters with his name all over them. You picked up your laptop and pushed it onto his chest, forcing him to hold it, him still confused, mildly stunned, not knowing what the fuck was happening.
Then you made him half-straddle your coffee table and yanked off the condom.
"Um–"
Grabbed his cock and started furiously jacking him off.
"Oh, f-fuck!"'
And then he realized what you were doing, the sheer wrongness of it, getting harder and harder with every second, throbbing in your hand.
"You're just like them," you chuckled through exerted breath.
Faster, rougher, tighter, Jungkook clutching your laptop, his larger frame leaning against yours, head thrown back so far that his blond hair was brushing your shoulder, moaning lustfully as he thrusted his hips into your grip. White pooled onto the purple-red tip of his abused cock, far too sensitive to be jacked off this hard right after orgasm, but Jungkook begged you not to stop, streams of residual cum running down your slicked fingers.
"Always looking for your fix from the addiction that's me," you whispered into his ear, laced with an authoritative growl. 
You saw Jungkook's head lower out of your periphery, eyes opening, staring at the colorful envelopes with his name printed on them, the cute stickers and neat handwriting, panting your name, tendons and veins standing out on his neck, sweat beading on his tan skin. 
A low, dangerous chuckle rising in his throat. 
"There's a difference between them and me."
You felt his cock twitch in your hand, ridiculously hard at what you two were about to do. 
"They're not going to get their fix."
Jungkook shuddered against you, jerking his hips forward, thick white strings splattering all over the pastel paper as you watched, fascinated, the scent of his cum saturating the air and the envelopes, drops soaking and smearing the carefully written ink, time wasted and defiled. 
"I am," he moaned, twisting his body on your arms, leaning down to kiss you hungrily as you squeezed his cock, draining it all out, all over your coffee table and coating your hand, stained with Jeon Jungkook's love letter to you. 
--
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connordavidscamera · 3 years
Text
A Jealous Household | Connor Brashier
A/n: listen, I know it says y/n, but we all know it’s written about me, right? Okay, just wanna put that out there lol
Summary: Shawn and Brian want to have a party, but this party causes a few problems for Connor and y/n
Warnings: angst, underage drinking (for US standards, at least), pining
Word count: 7.5k, she’s a long one
***
“You want to have a party? When?” Y/n asks, closing her book and setting it in her lap.
“This weekend,” Shawn nods. “And it won’t be a big thing, I promise. Maybe fifteen, twenty people.”
“Thirty or forty, max,” Brian interjects.
I can’t help but laugh at that, neither can she as she says. “You know we can’t even fit thirty or forty people in the condo, right?”
“I know that, but that’s why we’ll have some of them in the backyard too.”
“So what’s the party even for?” She asks, leaning into my side. On instinct, I wrap my arm around her shoulders. 
They both shrug, “A house warming party? Does that still count if we’ve lived here for almost two months?” Shawn questions. 
She shrugs, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t see why we couldn’t have one. We just have to be considerate of our neighbors. And nobody’s allowed in my room. If there’s alcohol, I’m not chancing anyone going into my room for a sloppy fuck.”
Shawn laughs, “So your sloppy fuck is gonna be in Connor’s room then?”
I roll my eyes at the comment. Shawn and Brian love to tease me about my crush on y/n. They have since the beginning. Shawn’s taunts are light hearted, but they’re plentiful now that we all live together. Brian’s at times feel almost malicious. But Brian also isn’t aware that I still have a crush on her, he thinks the feeling has passed. It definitely hasn’t. If anything, being in such tight quarters with her at all times has made me like her even more. Watching her move so effortlessly around our home - seeing her do her nightly routine, watching her polish her nails every Sunday like clockwork. I have undeniably fallen even deeper in love with her in just these few short weeks we’ve lived together and it’s killing me.
It’s killing me because we still haven’t talked about what she said to me a couple weeks ago when we were falling asleep together. I don’t even know if she remembers saying what she did. And I could have misinterpreted her words, I mean, she was falling asleep, her words were slurring. I could have misunderstood. At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself every time the memory pops into my head. Which is about six times a day for the past three weeks.
Y/n gasps and tosses her book at him, "Asshole!"
He laughs, picking the book up off the floor from where it ricocheted off his chest. "I'm kidding. Kidding. But it's cool?"
She shrugs, "Yeah, whatever. Go nuts."
"Yes!" Shawn pumps his fist in the air before high fiving Brian. 
"We gotta get alcohol."
"Ah, wait. Before you two go broke buying drinks for the party, remember that we have bills to pay. So save us all a headache and make it BYOB."
Brian snaps and points at her with a click of his tongue. "This is why we keep you around."
She laughs, "Oh is that why?"
"Indeed," he nods.
"Okay, well can I have my book back, please?"
"Yeah, here," Shawn leans over the coffee table to hand it to her before disappearing to his room, Brian heading to the kitchen.
"What's wrong?" I ask, not looking up from my phone. I can sense that the wheels are turning in her head and she sighs dramatically.
"I don't remember which page I was on."
I force myself not to laugh. "243."
“Hmm?” She flips to that page and looks up at my side profile. “How’d you know that?”
I shrug, “I always memorize the page you’re on before you close the book, just in case.”
She smiles sheepishly and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “You’re cute,” she whispers before turning her attention back to the page in front of her and resting her head in the crook of my neck.
I squeeze her shoulder hoping she doesn’t look up and notice the growing blush on my cheeks, “You’re cuter.”
---
“Do you have any idea who’s coming to this?” Y/n asks as we move a cooler out to the backyard.
I shake my head, “Not really. I think Matt and his girlfriend, honestly, I have no idea. It’s Shawn, so there’s bound to be more people than we’re anticipating.”
“Lots of girls then.”
“Why do you say that?” I ask, setting the cooler down, providing her with my undivided attention (which she has always had). 
“He’s making a name for himself out here. Playing a few more gigs than at home. I noticed at the last one, he’s got a few groupies.”
I chuckle, “Oh really?”
She nods, “There were like five girls there just holding onto his every word. It was actually pretty cool to watch. But he got nervous. Started fidgeting with his necklace, so I had to get him out of there, which of course resulted in death glares from his adoring fans.”
“What? What do you mean? Death glares towards you?”
Y/n laughs, fixing the collar of her shirt that’s falling off her shoulder. “Yeah. I think they thought there was more there than there is,” she shrugs, “And if looks could kill, I would be dead five times over.”
I shake my head, I don’t like that thought, and I say as much. “I don’t like that thought.”
“What? Shawn having groupies?”
“No, girls staring daggers at you because you’re friends with him.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
I know it’s not, but the thought of someone not liking her is appalling to me. “I still don’t like it.”
“Is it because if something happened to me you’d be left to live alone with Shawn and Brian? Because that would make me sad too.”
I force a laugh, “That, and I’d be bored without you.”
She nods understandingly, “I get it. I am the light of your life,” she teases.
You are, I think to myself. “Yeah, yeah,” I say instead, stepping forward, wrapping my arm around her waist. “Let’s get inside, it’s hot as hell out here.”
Shawn and Brian are sitting on the floor in front of the TV, trying to get the wifi hooked up to it. We barely got wifi installed at the beginning of the week, but we’ve all been so busy, we haven’t had the chance to get everything hooked up to it. 
“It’s not working!” Brian complains, throwing his hands up in frustration.
“Well try again! That’s what the router says.” Shawn counters back.
“Let me see that,” Brian snatches the router out of his hands. “Dumbass! You’re reading me the product number! Not the fucking password!”
Y/n and I hide our faces to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter, but we both break when Shawn pouts when Brian puts the router back in his hands after successfully connecting the TV.
“Oh, what’s with the pouty face, rockstar?” y/n asks.
“Brian’s a dick,” he mutters, which causes Brian to punch his shoulder.
“Ow!” Shawn exclaims, reaching to hold his arm. “That hurt!”
“It was supposed to. Want me to do it again?”
“Craigen,” y/n shakes her head and before I can protest, she’s out of my grasp and I suddenly feel lonely without her body next to mine. “No more fighting.”
“Just one time in the face,” he tries to reason. “Just once. Come on, it’s a long time coming. I’ve wanted to punch him in the face since we were kids.”
“No,” she squats down behind Shawn, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, leaning her head against his. I watch Shawn fall into her touch and I’m envious of him. Even though she holds onto me in the exact same way, almost daily, she isn’t right now and it makes me long for it. Especially when I watch her start to massage his scalp and he hums because her head scratches feel like you’re in heaven. “You can’t punch him in the face. That’s the money maker,” she squishes his cheeks with her free hand and speaks in a mock baby voice, “And if he’s got a black eye how will he charm girls with his pretty face tonight?”
Shawn laughs and pushes her hand away, but he reaches back and pats her calf. “Sit down,” he says and she obliges, her legs spreading and bracketing Shawn’s. He falls back into her and takes her hand that was just squeezing him and brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles before bringing it to his hair as well. “More head scratches.”
She rolls her eyes, but continues anyway. “So fucking needy.”
He hums, “Could fall asleep like this.”
She hums too and looks up at me with a smile that melts my heart, “Connor does all the time.”
I nod, “I do. Feels good. Your hands are magic.”
“How magic? Like you could get me off in three seconds?”
“Brian!” I growl. Yep, we can always count on him to ruin the mood.
But y/n’s laughing, “I’m sure I could, I mean, if you ask your first girlfriend, you only last five so I don’t think it’ll be difficult,” she answers.
Shawn’s hysterical in y/n’s arms, as am I as I fall to the floor, clutching my stomach. But Brian? Brian is livid.
“I can’t believe she told you that! She said she wouldn’t tell anyone!”
This only makes Shawn and I laugh harder. “Wait, did that actually happen?” I ask between fits. “Craigen, come on,” I groan when he’s silent. “Five seconds?”
“It was our first time!”
“And last, apparently,” y/n comments.
“Shut up!” he groans. “Fuck, I can’t stand you.”
She nods, “I know.”
“No, but seriously, when did she tell you that?”
Y/n breaks out into a wide grin. “She didn’t. But you just did. Thanks for that.”
He’s speechless. Absolutely speechless. And his face is so red; I don’t know if it’s in anger or embarrassment, but either way, Shawn pipes up. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, my first time I only lasted like twenty seconds.”
“I lasted fifteen,” I confirm, but I immediately regret it when y/n’s face morphs into one of confusion. 
Oh, oh fuck. I never told her that I-
“Wait, you’ve had sex?”
“You didn’t know?” Shawn questions, looking back at her.
She shakes her head, “I guess not.”
I sigh and scratch the back of my head, “Yeah. It was… during that time where we weren’t really talking,” I mumble.
She nods slowly, scoffing, and I can’t quite pin her emotion, but it’s definitely a cross between anger and… is that jealousy? “Ah, good ol’ McKenzie,” she mutters under her breath. She exhales deeply out her nose and focuses her attention back to playing with Shawn’s hair. 
“I would have told-”
“We weren’t talking. I know,” she cuts me off. “And it’s none of my business. It wasn’t then, and it’s not now either.”
“Oh, right. Okay,” I nod once. “New subject.”
---
We’re tiptoeing around each other the rest of the day. Or more so, I’m tiptoeing around her. She somehow is coming off as completely unbothered, but at the same time completely bothered. I don’t know what to make of this situation. I don’t know if I should apologize for not telling her, or if she even wants me to apologize. I don’t know and it’s killing me not knowing what I can do to make this better for us tonight.
I’m helping Brian pour more ice into the cooler we have in the kitchen when she walks out of her room. “Where’s Shawn?” she asks.
I look up at her and my heart stops for a moment. She’s wearing red, my heart never knows what to do when she wears that color. Does it stop? Does it speed up? Yes. 
“He went to his car to get the beer we got this afternoon,” Brian answers, closing the lid. 
SHe nods, “I’ll go help him.”
I watch as she leaves, not taking a full breath until the door shuts behind her. 
“She still mad at you?” 
I shake my head, “I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is mad at me.”
“Well, it’s y/n. You kept something from her for almost three years. I’m willing to bet she’s a little upset.”
I sigh, “Yeah, I know. But I mean, how was I supposed to tell her. She would barely even look at me during that time, so -”
“Yeah, because McKenzie was a bitch to her. How was she supposed to look at you when she was practically threatened or called out or god know what when you weren’t listening. I’d hate to know what she actually said when none of us were there to listen.”
I exhale deeply. I know my ex was the worst to her - she’s the entire reason y/n and I weren’t talking. She told me not to hang out with her as much, so I didn’t (also because I was trying to prove to Brian that I didn’t have feelings for y/n anymore. That was a mistake.) “So, I should apologize.”
Brian shrugs, “We all know you’re gonna apologize. You can’t stand it when she’s mad at you. Honestly, we can’t either. We have no idea what to do when you two aren’t talking. And since we all live together now, it’ll be even more awkward for you two to not talk.”
I nod, “Yeah. I know. I’ll apologize later. You should go get ready. I can finish up out here.”
Brian claps my shoulder, “Thanks, man. I’ll be quick.” He disappears at the same time Shawn and y/n walk in the front door with the drinks. I make my way over to them.
“Here, let me get that for you,” I tell her, reaching to take the cases from her hands.
“Oh, it’s okay. I got it. You want these inside or out, rockstar?”
“In the fridge, in the back. Gotta keep the good stuff for us.” Shawn hands me a pottle of vodka, “Put this in the freezer? I got it for y/n, I’m gonna make her a new drink.”
“You’re gonna risk giving her alcohol poisoning?” I question, raising one eyebrow at him.
He rolls his eyes, “I’ve gotten better at making drinks, dickhead.”
I laugh and hold my hands up in surrender, “Alright, sure.”
“I’m gonna put these in my room for now, and then I’m gonna get ready.”
“Brian’s in the shower, you can use my bathroom,” I say as y/n moves past us to the kitchen. 
“Good looking out, thanks.”
And now it’s just me and her. It’s like any normal day. So why is my heart beating so quickly?
I watch her move some things around in the fridge to make room for the drinks, and I can’t help but smile. “You look pretty tonight,” I tell her, leaning against the counter.
She looks over at me and smiles softly, “Thanks.”
I clear my throat, “Hey, y/n?”
“Hmm?” she turns her attention back to her task at hand.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asks, closing the fridge.
“For not telling you that I slept with her.”
“Oh,” she nods. “It’s fine. It really is not any of my business who you have and haven’t slept with.”
“Well maybe not, but you are my best friend, and we tell each other everything. I know if we were on better terms when you were dating Noah, you would have told me that you-”
“I didn’t tell you because we didn’t sleep together.”
“What?” I stare at her with wide eyes. 
“Noah and I didn’t sleep together.”
“But I thought-”
“You assumed. But no, it didn’t happen. I wasn’t ready. I mean, I barely let him kiss me, so how the hell was I gonna sleep with him?”
I nod because I don’t know what else to do or even say. She’s right, I just assumed that they had sex because he always had his hands all over her. I almost scoff at the thought. I hated watching him hold her in the hallway, his hands in her back pockets as he pulled her closer to him. Seeing them together everyday made my heart clench every time because it should have been me. I wonder if that’s how she felt when I had a girlfriend. 
“Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? So, let’s just drop it. It’s not like I’m mad you had sex, I was just surprised to find out this way, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I get it. And I would have told you sooner, but there really was never a time, you know? And it was just with her a couple times, nothing since.”
“Connor, you really don’t need to explain it to me. Actually, if we could just stop talking about her all together, that’d be great.”
“No, yeah. Of course. It’s dropped.”
She nods, “Okay, good. So, you should go get dressed.”
“What do you mean? I’m wearing this,”  I gesture to my torn t-shirt and my sweatpants with paint stains up and down the legs from when we painted the living room a few weeks ago. I’m totally joking, but I want to see her reaction anyway.
She looks me up and down and scoffs, “Yeah, no. Go change. You’re not wearing that.”
I pout dramatically, “Why not?”
“One, those pants are a mess. Two, you know you run hot when you drink, so why would you wear sweatpants? And three, that shirt is literally falling apart. You are not wearing that, go change.”
I can’t fight the smile that tugs at my lips because just like that we’re back to normal. “Okay, I’m going. Do you have something you’d like for me to wear?”
“Yes, your black pants with the white tank top and your peachy cream shirt. The one you wore for our graduation party.”
I nod, “Yes, ma’am. You wanna do my hair?”
“Come find me when you’re done, and I’ll see what I can do.”
---
I’m talking to my friend Will out in the backyard as the party becomes bigger than anticipated. Yeah, definitely called that situation. 
“Bro, I wish I would have saved up more so I could have gotten a place like you guys did. I emailed my roommate last week to see what he wanted to get for the dorm and he straight up said, ‘I don’t plan to be roommates long, so nothing.’”
I can’t help but laugh, “Hey, we’d take you in over Brian, but he’d throw a bitch fit.”
He laughs too, twisting the cap off his beer. “So what’s it like living with y/n? Everything good?”
“Yeah, everything’s great. She knows how to run a household. She made a chore chart that goes on the fridge. Shawn had to beg her to take it down for the party because he was embarrassed.”
“Sounds like y/n. But that’s not what I meant.”
I take a swig of my beer and shrug, “There’s nothing else to say really. She’s nice to live with.”
“No progression between you two.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Right, right. Because you’re not in love with her, right.”
“Will, come on. Not tonight.”
“Okay, okay. I get it. We’re not in a teasing mood tonight.”
Or ever. Will is a great friend of mine, and I would take a bullet for him, but he asks me for y/n updates every time we’re together, and I never have any for him. When I told him we were moving in together, he was stoked, but less so when I told him we were moving with Shawn and Brian too. 
He - like Shawn - is an avid supporter of us getting together. Will found out about my so-called crush one night in high school, actually a couple weeks after my breakup with McKenzie. Y/n and I still weren’t talking. I was trying to mend things and  she was trying to push me further away. I don’t remember much of the night he found out because I got shit faced drunk, but I somehow admitted to him that I had feelings for her and he’s convinced himself that he knows the biggest secret in the world. He treats it like he holds the key to the universe. If anyone wants us together more than I do, it’s him.
“Just don’t want to risk her hearing anything,” I tell him. “I already made things awkward earlier.”
“What? How?”
I shake my head, “Let it slip that Kenz and I slept together.”
He blanches. “She didn’t know?!”
I shake my head, “No. I never found the right time to tell her. But she keeps saying it isn’t her business, so I don’t know if that means she’s hurt by it or if I’m imagining it because right now it seems like she doesn’t really care. But - I don’t know, I want her to, I guess.” 
He smirks, “She cares.”
“I don’t know,” I mutter, looking inside, lifting my bottle up to my lips, but halting when I see her standing near the sliding glass door with - “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“What?” Will asks, turning toward the door. “What hap - is that? Wait, is that Noah? What is he doing here?”
My jaw clenches, just like the grip around the bottle in my hand. “Better question, why the hell is he so close to her?”
Will sucks in a breath, “Are they still friends?”
I don’t answer him because I don’t know. I’m 99% sure they aren’t, but that 1% that says yes is simply because I’m watching them right now and she’s hugging him and letting him kiss her cheek before he pulls away. “I didn’t think they were. She hasn’t brought him up since the breakup.”
I don’t take my eyes off them as I start chugging the rest of my beer. It was still pretty full, but at this moment, I need to finish it because I need something stronger. 
“I’m gonna go get a drink,” I mutter, tossing my bottle in the trashcan near the cooler. I walk inside, but neither of them notice me. I shake my head and walk to Shawn’s room where he hid most of the hard stuff. I find the bottle of tequila that he stashed because he knew if he put it out, it’d go fast. I twist the top off and take, maybe a little more than a shot. I cough into my elbow when I pull the bottle back because wow he got the strong stuff.
Shaking my head, I close the bottle back up and sneak out of Shawn’s room. When I enter the living room, they’re still standing there talking. Or, he’s talking, she’s nodding at something he’s saying. I click my tongue and walk into the kitchen to grab another beer. SHould I be mixing my alcohol? No, I should not. Is that going to stop me? No, it is not. 
My girl’s ex-boyfriend is over there talking to her and touching her like they’re best buds and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand him. 
I still remember the day she told us that she was going on a date with him. 
All four of us are sitting in our usual booth at the diner, everything seems to be going like it always has. Just us four, laughing and making our weekend plans. The difference though is that y/n and I aren’t sitting shoulder to shoulder right now. She’s pushed against the window, and I’m toward about as far left as I can get without it being noticeable, or falling. 
“So, we’re aiming for Saturday afternoon, right? Y/n, you’ll ride with me?” Shawn asks.
“Oh,” she sits up straight, “um, could we maybe do it on Sunday instead? I kind of already have plans on Saturday.”
“What?” Brian furrows his brows, “Without us?”
She nods, “Yeah,” she takes in a sharp breath beside me. “I um… I kinda, I have a date.”
At that exact moment, our heads whip in her direction - I’m pretty sure if I turned any faster I would have given myself whiplash.
“A date?” I ask as calmly as I can.
“With who?” Shawn questions.
She shrugs, “You know that guy Noah? I have him in like all of my AP classes? He asked me out after class this morning.”
I don’t think I can clench my jaw any harder. Noah. I hate him. I’ve never personally met him, but I hate him. “Cool,” I mutter, turning my head back to the table to reach for my drink. 
“Well?” Shawn prompts. “What are you gonna do? Where is he taking you?”
She clasps her hands in her lap and shrugs again. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me. Said he wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Ooh, romantic,” Brian teases.
“You hate surprises,” I mumble into my cup.
Y/n clears her throat and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “It’s just one date. Not a big deal.”
“Okay, sure,” Brian says. “So Sunday then?”
“And you’ll tell us all about it?”
“Sure.”
There are very few times that I wish I was deaf, but that day was one of them. I didn’t sleep that whole night. I couldn’t. And the night of her date? Forget it. I was up all night wondering what was happening. Did he hold her hand? Did he hug her? Did that bastard take her first kiss? The first kiss that was supposed to belong to me? 
And right now, as I watch him reach for her elbow again, I decide, fuck it. I don’t care if I look like a jealous asshole, I’m taking my girl away from him. I stride over to them and place my hand on her hip, “Hey, baby. Can you help me find the bottle opener? I can’t remember what drawer you put it in the other day, and I think my eyes are failing me.”
She shakes her head, “Um, yeah. It should be in the drawer closest  to the fridge.”
“I checked there, please, come help me look.”
She rolls her eyes and turns back to Noah who is staring daggers at my hand on her hip. I smirk. “Noah, it was good catching up with you. I’ll find you later. I’m gonna help him out.”
He looks back up at her and forces a smile, “Sure. Sounds good. Save me dance?”
Over my dead body. “Come on, baby,” I say, guiding her toward the kitchen.
She steps in front of me, mumbling a couple excuse me’s to the people blocking the kitchen. Then she b-line’s to the drawer closer to the fridge, which I definitely did not check because I wasn’t really looking for the bottle opener. I just needed an excuse to get her away from Noah.
“Here,” she holds it out to me. “Wait, I thought Shawn got twist tops.” She takes the bottle from my hand and laughs, “Bub, it twists off.” She says, taking the cap off the bottle. 
“Oh,” I chuckle. I knew it was a twist top, again, I just needed an excuse to get her away. “Whoopsies?” 
She puts the bottle opener back in the drawer and leans against the counter. “You having fun?”
I shrug, “I’m alright. So um… Noah’s here.”
Y/n nods slowly, “Yeah, he is.”
“Kinda weird that he showed up after we just talked about him,” I mutter.
“Yeah, I guess. He just tagged along with one of his friends.”
I nod, “Mhm. You two looked pretty cozy.”
“Excuse me?” 
“Nothing. Just, I mean, I haven’t heard you talk about him since the breakup,” I take a sip of the beer in my hand. “I didn’t realize you two were still so close.”
She tilts her head at me, “We’re not. We were just catching up. He didn’t know that I lived here too.”
“Uh-huh, so you haven’t talked to him recently?”
She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s with the third degree, huh?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I mutter.
“No, Connor. I haven’t talked to him recently. In fact, I haven’t talked to him since the breakup. But what does that matter? Why does it matter who I do and do not talk to?”
“I just think it’s a little strange that he came here tonight.”
“Well, I didn’t invite him, if that’s what you’re insinuating. He came with a friend. He didn’t even know it was our party, or our house. He just showed up.”
“So he crashed it. Classy.”
“What is your deal?” She pushes herself off the counter and stands face to face with me, her forehead creasing as she glares at me. I want to smooth the crease and tell her not to do that because she’ll get a headache, but I refrain. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Please,” she scoffs, “you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend! Newsflash, Connor, you’re not my boyfriend.”
I recoil, because sure I know I’m not, but the words spew from her lips like venom. “I know that.”
“Do you? Because right now it doesn’t seem like you do. Now unless I completely missed the part where you asked me to be your girlfriend, you have no right to be upset over me talking to my ex-boyfriend.”
“He was an ass to you then.”
“How would you know?! We weren’t even talking then.”
“Because you didn’t want to! I was still trying to fix things with us but you were pushing me away.”
“No, I wasn’t pushing you away. I was protecting myself from getting hurt again.”
“But it wasn’t me, that was Kenzie, and -”
She groans in frustration, “Why are we talking about her again? Why? I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
Y/n pinches the bridge of her nose. “Look, you’re my best friend, and I love you. But you have no right to be upset about Noah. You are not my boyfriend -”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because you aren’t! You like to act like you are sometimes, but you’re not.”
“Do you want me to be?!” I exclaim, setting my bottle down.
She scoffs, shaking her head. “Not like this,” she says quietly, pushing past me.
“Y/n!” I call after her, but she ignores me. I, however, can’t ignore the eyes that are on me.
---
“He’s jealous?” Alessia asks, leaning back on her hands. We’re sitting on the grass in the backyard. It’s quieter out here, and far less crowded. “Does he even have a right to be?”
“That’s what I’m saying! He’s my best friend, but sometimes he acts like he’s my boyfriend and I just - I’m over it.”
She sighs, “You’re over him acting like your boyfriend.”
“Yes,” I say.
“Because you want him to actually be your boyfriend.”
“What? No! No,” I shake my head, “that’s not it.”
Les smiles, “Honey, it’s obvious the way you two look at each other. And you can deny it because you’re best friends, you live together. You don’t want to risk the integrity of the friendship that you have. And that is totally reasonable, but you two need to discuss what you are to each other. Because it’s clear that in his mind, you’re a little bit more than just ‘best friends.’ And well, you’ve always wanted to be more, so what’s so wrong with him being that?”
I sigh and pick at the grass beside me, “I don’t know if he feels this way genuinely or if it’s because I’m closer now. We live together, it seems almost easy or convenient for him to develop some tiny crush because of the proximity.”
At this she laughs, “Oh, honey. That is definitely not it.”
“How do you know?”
“Because that boy has been in love with you since before I even met you guys. It’s written all over his face and if you took a second to just stop and -”
“Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,” Shawn says, breathlessly, pushing his curls out of his face. “Y/n, Connor’s drunk off his ass, and I need your help”
I sit up, “Okay, How much did he drink?”
“Like, the entire bottle of tequila I had in my room, plus however many beers he had.”
I stand up, swatting at the backs of my legs to get off any dirt, “Is he throwing up?”
“No, he’s just asking for you.”
I nod and look back to Alessia, “We’ll talk later, Les?”
“Mhm, go take care of your boy.”
“Why did he drink so much?” I ask Shawn, following him toward the sliding glass door. 
He shrugs, “I asked him. He said you were mad at him.”
I roll my eyes, “Well yeah, he was being an ass. But it still doesn’t make sense.If he drinks every time I get upset with him, he’d be an alcoholic ”
“All I know is that he was asking for you,” Shawn says just as we find Connor sitting outside my bedroom door, nursing another beer bottle. 
I shake my head, “God, he knows not to be switching between alcohol.”
“Connor, buddy?” Shawn says, squatting down next to him. “I got her. Why don’t you give me that beer, eh?” He goes to take it from his hands, but Connor’s quick to move it, spilling a bit of it on his shirt in the process.
“No, this is mine. Get your own,” he slurs
I sigh and squat down next to him, too. “I think you’ve had enough, bub. Come on, let me have it.”
He looks at me with heavy eyes and he pouts, dramatically. “Y/n… you’re so pretty.”
“Connor,” I shake my head. 
“I love you in red. God, you look so good. Could never get,” he hiccups, “tired of looking at you.”
I blush, looking over at Shawn who’s still sitting with us. “Okay, come on. Let’s get up. We need to get you to bed.”
He nods slowly, “Whatever you want, baby.”
I take the drink out of his hand and set on the floor beside us. “Shawn, help me get him up.”
Shawn nods, “You got it.” He does most of the heavy lifting, but when Connor’s on his feet, he leans into me, hugging my waist, burying his head in my neck. 
“I’m so sorry, y/n. So sorry.”
“I know, come on now. We’re going to your room.”
He groans into my skin, but helps me and Shawn take him to his room as best as he can, only stumbling once when we round the corner. We push his bedroom door open and walk further into the room, plopping him down on the bed. 
“Thanks, Shawn. I got it from here.”
“You sure?” 
I nod, moving to grab his trash can from next to his desk. “Yeah, we’re good. Thanks for coming to get me.”
He nods, “Of course. Come get me if you need anything else.”
Connor groans as Shawn slams the door shut behind him. I sigh and move around the room, turning on his bedside lamp and going to his desk chair where his outfit from earlier is laid out. “Okay, bub, I’m gonna need you to help me out, alright? I need you to get out of your clothes, I’m gonna put you in pajamas, okay?”
He shakes his head, his pout even heavier than usual, eyes struggling to stay open. “Too tired. You do it.”
I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. Of course he’s gonna be difficult right now. I shake my head, throwing his clothes beside him, “Can you stand up?”
He mumbles something incoherent, but I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere along the lines of “The room is spinning.”
“Fuck, Connor, why did you drink so much?” I grumble, moving to the floor to take his shoes off.
“You’re mad at me,” he whines.
“Yes, I am. You know your limits. What were you gonna do if this didn’t happen at the house, hmm?”
“M’sorry.”
I roll my eyes, “Okay, sit up,” I reach for his hands to help pull him to a sitting position. 
He makes an unnecessary amount of groaning sounds as he moves around to accommodate me.
I push his shirt off his shoulders, it’s almost damp, he’s sweating so much. I throw it to the side, I’ll put it in the laundry room when I go get him some pain meds in a little bit. I take hold of the hem of his tank top, “Arms up,” I pat his side and he obliges, looking up at me with a sad smile on his lips. “What’s wrong?” I ask him, tossing his tank top off to the side too.
“I’m sorry I got mad earlier. About Noah.”
I shake my head, “It’s fine. Lay back, lift your hips for me.”
He lays back, but his pout still remains on his face as I lean forward to unbutton his pants.
“What now?” I question softly, pulling down his zipper, “Hips up.”
He’s looking at me with such sad eyes and it’s killing me. “This isn’t how I wanted you to undress me for the first time.”
My breath hitches, “What?”
“Wanna make love to you,” he slurs. 
I almost choke on his words, “Connor, you’re drunk,” I shake my head, pulling his pants off him and grabbing his sweats to pull up his legs instead. I decide to forgo the shirt because he’s already sweating a lot, I don't want to make him even hotter. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I’m gonna go get you some water and pain meds. Stay here.” I move the trash can closer to him, “The trash is right next to you if you feel like you’re gonna get sick.
I pick up his discarded clothes from the floor and walk to the door and out the room before he can say anything else he doesn’t mean. After tossing them in the hamper in the laundry room, I squeeze past the group of people still congregating in the hallway. I slip into my room and grab some of my pain meds from my book bag and quickly slip out again to head to the kitchen which is also crowded. I mumble out a general excuse me, and go to the fridge to grab Connor a bottle of water. 
On my way back, I stop and go to his bathroom which is thankfully empty, and grab a hand towel and wet it under the faucet to hopefully cool him down a bit. When I’m back in his room, he’s laying face down on his bed and I stop for a minute, admiring his smooth skin, and the way the muscles in his shoulders tense up when he moves his arm above his head. It’s not fair. No one man should look this good. 
I shake my head, focusing back on the task at hand. I close the door behind me gently. “Okay, Connor. I need you to sit up just one more time to take these pills and then you can go to bed, yeah?”
He groans, “I think I drank too much, baby,” he mumbles, pushing himself up and I'm once again in awe of how his muscles move with him. 
I scratch at my scalp and nod, holding out the pills for him. “Yeah, I think you did, too.” He takes them in his hand and I sit next to him, uncapping the water bottle before handing it to him as well.
“Thank you,” he hiccups.
“You’re welcome.” I look down at my hands as he takes the pills. He goes to hand me the water bottle back but I shake my head, “You need to drink it all. We’re trying to avoid a hangover.”
He just holds the bottle in his lap, not moving to drink anymore of it, so I look back up at him only to find him already staring at me. 
“You okay?” I ask.
He hums and reaches forward. He runs his thumb under my eye, “You got an eyelash. I got it,” he mumbles, but he keeps his hand cradling the side of my face. 
My eyes search his tired ones, they’re glossed over, but they always get that way when he drinks, making his eyes seem just a little more blue than green. 
“Have I told you tonight that you look pretty?” he asks quietly. 
“Multiple times,” I confirm. 
“Good, because you are… so, so pretty.”
I lick my lips and watch his eyes move from my eyes to my lips and back. I take in a shallow breath as he starts to lean closer. His eyes closed as his face inches toward mine. I push him back gently just before his lips have the chance to connect with mine, and I mean just before because I could feel his breath against my mouth. “What are you doing?” I question.
“I was… I was trying to kiss you. Did you, I thought you wanted to - when we were laying in bed a couple weeks ago, you said you wanted me to kiss you.”
“Well, I… Connor,” I shake my head. I didn’t think he heard me when I said that. “Not like this. Not tonight. Not when you’re drunk and not thinking clearly.” I stand up, pacing slowly in front of him. “If you’re gonna kiss me, I want you to be sober, and to actually want to do it. Not just because we got in a fight earlier. I don’t want this to be something you do now and then completely forget about or ignore, or fuck, even worse, regret in the morning. I don’t want that. I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve to be led on by you again.”
“Again?” He asks, tilting his head at me. 
“Nevermind. I should go back out there, start cleaning up so it’s not so much tomorrow.”
“Wait, y/n, please. Stay here, please. Stay with me tonight.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I won’t try anything, I promise. Please, just stay?”
I sigh, “Just until you fall asleep.”
---
It’s nearing eleven in the morning when Shawn finally retreats from his room. He’s not nearly as hungover as I bet the other boys are going to be. If he’s even hungover at all, he doesn’t seem to be. 
He leans against the counter, watching me pull my second batch of cookies from the oven. “You’re stress baking,” he observes.
I scoff, “I made muffins too,” I nod in the direction of the counter in front of him where a plate of blueberry muffins sits. 
“Ooh,” he reaches forward and takes one, “Not that I like when you’re stressed, but this my favorite of your coping mechanisms.”
“For purely selfish, I presume.”
“Of course,” he says around a mouthful of muffin. “So,” he says after he swallows. “Does this sudden urge to bake have anything to do with what happened last night with Connor?”
I tense up at the memory of Connor leaning in to kiss me. Me pushing him away. “Maybe.”
“So what did happen after I left you two?”
“Nothing,” I shake my head.
“Well, the glorious smell of our kitchen and the spotless living room say otherwise.”
I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face. “He, god, he tried to kiss me.”
“What?” Shawn chokes. 
“Shh! You’ll wake them.”
“Oh please, Brain will be asleep until five. Nothing will wake him. He kissed you?! Well, how was it?”
“I said he tried. As in, I didn’t let him. I pushed him away before he could.”
“Why? Don’t you want him to?”
“Of course! But not like that! Not when he’s drunk and not himself. WHen he’s saying stupid things like he wants to make love to me, and that he wishes I was undressing him for the first time under different circumstances.”
“What? He said all of that?! Oh my god! Go, Connor!”
“No, not go Connor. Because he’s not going to remember any of this when he wakes up and I’m going to remember everything and have to pretend that he didn’t say anything or try to kiss me. And I’m stuck being led on once again, except this time he lives just down the hall and I have to see him everyday.”
Shawn sighs, “Okay, you’re right. So, what are you going to do?”
“Same thing I always do.”
He nods, “I’ll get my guitar.”
***
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flowesona · 3 years
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Wicker Man - yandere! jungkook x reader
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so my child @babeejk​ wanted a y! sugar daddy jungkook, and i live for nothing if not to fulfil her jungkook obsession so here we are. 
word count: 2.1k
pairing: y! jungkook x gn! reader
Most people (Y/N)’s age would spend their Friday night partying, hanging out with friends, trying new things. But (Y/N) was spending the best days of their life entertaining a young, rich CEO who would no doubt dump them for a new pretty face in a few years.
Jungkook was a sweet gentleman. Always made payments on time, and usually never pushed the boundaries. But there were instances where his hands crept a little too far for (Y/N)’s liking, or his grip on (Y/N)’s arm got a little too tight in the presence of his friends.
He was peaceful enough that Friday night, having ordered takeout for the two of them and put on a movie. Clearly, he needed the company of (Y/N) more than their body as most of their previous sugar daddies had coveted.
With (Y/N) placing their plate down onto the coffee table and relaxing into his arms to watch the movie, it was almost like they were dating. Jungkook didn’t dare push this idea often, happy to stick to the simple domesticity they had as if they were already in love and nothing needed to be said.
He pressed a kiss on the back of (Y/N)’s neck, enjoying the fleeting feeling of his lips on their skin. 
“You seem tired, baby. Want to go to bed?” The film was reaching its climax, but (Y/N)’s eyes were barely able to stay open.
“Mmmmm.” They replied, not protesting as he lifted them like a bride and carried them into his room to rest on his king sized bed.
(Y/N) had allowed a gentle smile to settle on their lips, their eyes having drifted closed. Jungkook settled himself beside them, feeling equally as at peace.
“I wish every night could be like this.” He mused allowed. “Would you like that, baby?”
(Y/N) was only his for two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays, wherein he would often have them stay for the night.
“Mmmmm.” (Y/N) gave an ambiguous grumble as he hooked his arms around their chest to spoon them.
“Really? I can’t wait, baby. I love you, so much.”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
The morning after, (Y/N) woke up to an empty bed. Unusual, considering that Jungkook loved to wake up beside them and talk in the morning. Brushing that aside they stood up and padded out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
Jungkook was seated at the counter, glasses perched on his nose and his laptop in front of him next to a steaming cup of hot water (allegedly, it had health benefits but (Y/N) had never understood it).
“Good morning, baby.” Jungkook had a bright smile, beckoning them to join him at the counter. (Y/N) followed his instructions, hopping onto the stool beside him and leaning on his shoulder in a move they knew he adored.
“I’ve been working hard for you this morning, baby. You know, I want to get this done as soon as possible so we can be together.”
“That’s good.” (Y/N) hummed in reply.
“How do you feel about the moving company getting there at two today? That’ll give us time to have lunch on the way.” Jungkook ran his hand down their arm, soothing them as he noticed how they tensed up.
“What?” 
“So you can move in, baby. Of course, you don’t have to bring everything here and I’ll be more than happy to buy anything extra you need-”
“Wait, wait, wait a second.” (Y/N) breathed out slowly. “Moving in?”
“We talked about it last night. You agreed, didn’t you?” (Y/N) scrunched up their nose, trying to recall the conversation but drawing a blank.
“No, I never agreed to that. And I never would. It’d break the terms of our contract.”
Jungkook had such a sincere look of hurt in his eyes that it tugged at (Y/N)’s heartstrings.
“We don’t need that contract, baby. We just need each other. You know I’ll give you anything you want, right?” 
“And what I want… no, what I need… is for some space. This is just my part time hustle, I still have college and a life outside of this. I want to keep it to two days a week, otherwise it’ll blur the lines between you as a sugar daddy and you as a boyfriend.” (Y/N) tried not to let their irritation show as they spoke.
“Fuck the lines, (Y/N)! We don’t need any of those labels, I just want you to be mine as much as I am yours!” Their companion’s grip on their arm had grown tighter to the point that his nails started to draw blood. Realising this, (Y/N) pried his hand away and stood up.
“I’m sorry if I’d misled you. But I’m not looking for that kind of relationship with you, I’m just looking for strictly business. If this doesn’t work, maybe we should end this.” 
Jungkook stared at them incredulously.
“Well…” He bit his lip, deep in thought. “Fine. Life will go on, I guess. I’ll call up the moving company and cancel it. Let’s not end this beautiful thing we have over a silly argument.”
(Y/N) nodded, although they had a horrible feeling in their stomach that it was not the end of the conversation, and Jungkook would stop at nothing to get his way.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
(Y/N) had chosen to make Thursday a ‘me’ day. They cooked themselves breakfast and lunch, did some online shopping and applied a face mask. They had zero intentions of visiting anyone else, when all they wanted to do was de-stress from life.
As they were lighting a candle and listening to some Beethoven, a shrill alarm rang out.
‘Huh. They don’t normally hold the drill today.’ (Y/N) shrugged, waiting for it to cease. However, it didn’t stop.
After a few minutes, (Y/N) grabbed their phone and stepped outside, only to see people hurrying down the stairs. 
“Hurry! Fire!” One of her neighbours yelled, jogging past them. 
Their eyes widened, but sure enough they could see smoke curling throughout the air and they knew they had no time to lose. Leaving their apartment with only their phone in hand, (Y/N) followed their neighbours down the stairs and out of the building, standing on the pavement as they watched the flames licking at the building and smoke billowing out of the open windows. Soon enough there were fire engines on the scene and ambulances to deal with the people who’d inhaled too much smoke. 
(Y/N) found themselves sitting on the pavement, numb with shock. To think everything they owned was going up in the flames was terrifying, even as they saw the firefighters doing everything to minimise the damage. 
“(Y/N)! Baby!” Their state of shock was broken by someone yelling their name, and suddenly they were pulled into a tight hug.
“Baby, thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you.” 
“Jungkook?” (Y/N) instantly recognised the voice. “What- How-”
“I was in the area when I heard about what happened. I came as quickly as I could.” Jungkook pressed a kiss to (Y/N)’s forehead. 
“You need to rest. Come back to my place, okay?”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
(Y/N) had ended up staying there far longer than intended. Their apartment had been completely wrecked by the fire, since it had started on their floor. Every possession of theirs, gone so quickly, although of course Jungkook insisted on replacing whatever they wanted.
Jungkook seemed to be very much content with their prolonged stay. In fact, he’d been working from home for the first few days to make sure they were settled in and not feeling too lonely. (Y/N) would sit with him in his home office, since they didn’t really have much else to do, and scroll on their phone until he inevitably called them over to cuddle with him. 
The young man had become progressively bolder with his skinship, never holding back from pressing kisses to their neck or holding them a bit too tightly to his crotch. They hadn’t done ‘it’ yet, but with how he was acting it was only a matter of time. 
They were just sitting together, (Y/N) scrolling through instagram and Jungkook answering some emails when the desk phone rang. Jungkook reached around them to answer it, holding it to his ear for a few seconds before putting it back down.
“Your nintendo switch has just been delivered. I need to go down to the lobby and sign for it. Are you okay waiting here for a few minutes?” Jungkook pouted, as (Y/N) nodded in reply.
He pressed a kiss to their cheek before standing up.
“Don’t miss me too much, baby.” He smiled before leaving. 
(Y/N) let out a breath they didn’t realise they’d been holding in whilst he was there. But now, they were bored as ever. 
A chime rang out, and (Y/N) found their attention drawn to Jungkook’s phone, sitting there innocently. They reached over and picked it up, only seeing a text from his mother asking about dinner plans next week. But they noted how he’d changed his lockscreen to a picture of them, from a few nights ago when they’d accompanied him to a formal event and he’d asked one of his colleagues to take a picture of them together.
(Y/N) suddenly had something to do. They set about trying to unlock Jungkook’s phone, first trying their fingerprint and face ID but to no avail. Then, realising that he had a numeral password they tried typing in a few dates - his birthday, his parent’s anniversary. Then, out of sheer boredom and with only one attempt they tried their own birthday only for them to be granted access to his lockscreen.
‘Jeez, he needs to get a life if he’s that whipped for me.’ They sighed, as they scrolled through his phone. Nothing was particularly out of the ordinary, until they checked the photo gallery, to be met with tons of pictures of them. Screenshots from social media, snaps from their ‘dates’, selfies with them fast asleep in his arms. It was enough to make (Y/N) shudder with fright.
Another message popped up.
‘I need the other half of the payment, sir, or I will be contacting the police.’
(Y/N) clicked on it, expecting business talk only to be met with something else entirely. Fear settled in their stomach as they scrolled up through the messages.
‘(Y/N) has been evacuated outside, doesn’t seem to have been hurt.’
‘Someone’s called emergency services, but the fire should spread far enough that (Y/N)’s apartment will be damaged.’
‘I’ve started it, it’s spreading quickly.’
It didn’t take a genius to realise what had happened. 
(Y/N) dropped Jungkook’s phone on the floor in shock, standing up immediately. They’d walked right into his arms without hesitation, they’d played into his plan perfectly. Jungkook always got what he wanted, no matter the cost.
‘I have to get out of here.’
(Y/N) started for the door, only stopping to tuck their phone into their pocket. They were just by the entrance to the penthouse when they heard talking outside.
They knew they had to hide, but it was too late. 
Jungkook burst through the door, accompanied by a stern faced delivery driver carrying a large box. This was subsequently placed by the door and he made a swift exit, avoiding (Y/N)’s existence the entire time.
“Ah, baby I missed you. Here, come and see what I bought for you.” Jungkook beckoned to them, but one look at their face told him he’d read their mood entirely wrong.
“What’s wrong, baby?” He cooed as he approached them. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it for you.”
“Get the hell away from me.” (Y/N) snapped. Jungkook froze. “I know what you did. What the hell is wrong with you? I could’ve died in that fire?”
His face became stern.
“I would never have allowed that to happen. I just wanted to give you a little push to move in with me, that’s all.” 
“You’re insane!”
“And you’re too stubborn to progress our relationship!” Jungkook bit back. “Can’t you see how hard I try to make you happy? Is that not enough for you to love me?”
“I never want to see you again.” (Y/N) huffed, trying to show past him only to be caught in his iron grip. 
“You’re not going anywhere.”
(Y/N) struggled, but Jungkook’s determination was stronger than their body weight.
“Maybe I am crazy, baby. And you know what that means?” He leant in close, so (Y/N) could feel the warmth of his breath. “You never know what I’m going to do next. So don’t try me unless you want to get burnt.”
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