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#loveless aro
askthebadkidz · 2 days
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“Riz isn’t canonically aro, no one has said it yet!” Do you need everything spelled out for you like a baby? Ya’ll can take anything a character does to argue they’re canon gay but suddenly not wanting to make out is too hard to think about?
ya’ll have literally decided Aelwyn is canon lesbian because of one line of dialogue but Riz saying several times how much he doesn’t want to have sex or kiss people and having a romance partner be his literal living nightmare doesn’t mean anything?!
-Mod Fig
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kruncher · 13 hours
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Honestly BAFFLED that I was out on the internet as aro for almost three years and yet I learn about loveless aros just now. How could I not consider the possibility that some people don't even need or want platonic or familial or any other love, when the human experience is so endlessly vast and different?
Loveless aspecs, you are so valid and your experiences and voices are extremely important in the community, your takes on love and it's absence genuinely helped me broaden my views on this topic in general💚
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for me L*** has always always ALWAYS been performative. i was never given a chance to explore it on my own terms - my mother expected my L*** her on HER terms, in the way SHE saw fit. In the way she wanted.
My first relationship I tried so so hard to L*** him like the storybooks said to, and it was sickening. empty. disgusting. thank god we broke up because of our absent sex life instead, because i was NOT ready to face my lovelessness yet.
Then with my friends, I kept trying to do it like the majority of the aro community did - soft heartfelt aesthetic perfect impossible lahhhve. lavish them with gifts and cursive cards and everything is steamy fresh mugs of tea and baking together. aros can feel platonic love too! aros are still loving humans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no. fuck that. loveless community for the win.
see, this is how it is - after almost a year of trying to figure shit out.
i think (i'm pretty sure) most people feel an emotion (L***) which prompts an action.
Instead, I will do something and this may (or may not) produce an emotion. I will make shit for a friend aligning with their interest, and if they are happy that makes me happy. Happy like a sunny day or hiking a mountain. Something grounded, reliable, tangible. None of this flighty tempest bullshit or floaty soft pink clouds, platonic or no. Earth domain, not the skies.
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silliest-basilisk · 1 month
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since valentines day is tomorrow (or already here for some people), i just wanted to give a shoutout to my fellow loveless aros. shoutout to those who are still alienated when people do that whole "valentines day is for all kinds of love you can still celebrate it yippee!!!" thing. i'm holding all your hands (edit: and if you're touch repulsed, i'm simply nodding at you in understanding and psychically beaming good vibes towards you)
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sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?
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about a month ago, my uncle asked if I had a significant other. I appreciate his gender inclusivity, of course.
I'm used to the question. it's not like it's something outrageous that he's asking. so I simply said no, that's not for me.
he looked at me and said "well, someday." not someday maybe, just.... someday.
of course I'm not quick to anger, but there's a part of me that's a little more defensive about my aroace identity. so I jumped to my defense.
my uncle isn't a bad guy, he's quite nice and tries his best to be respectful in the current political shit storm by supporting queer people. but apparently that does exclude me, an aroace.
I reiterated that I'm just not interested in a romantic or sexual partnership, and I really do not ever see that changing.
and he said something to the effect of "it's okay if you don't want that now."
and I said, "no, it's just okay that I don't want that."
and he said that I was pessimistic. as if I was secretly searching for a relationship or a partner, but was rejecting love because I could not find one.
I calmly (with all the rage in my veins) told him "no, a life without love or sex is something optimistic for me."
he had the gall to look horrified.
I'm sick of aroace people not being seen as normal human people when they don't want the outcome of their life to look like everyone else's. I'm sick of the white picket fence, I'm sick of the assumption that everyone has another half out there.
I'm whole on my own.
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zephyr-heart · 1 month
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monstrousparalysis · 8 months
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"Loveless marriage" except in a joyous, loveless aromantic way instead of a miserable amatonormative way.
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fallenrain40 · 1 month
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"but aroaces can still feel lo-" shut up. it doesn't matter if we can feel love or not. why is this always your defense to why aroaces should be valid? it gets even worse with alloaces and alloaros. people constantly saying "aces can still have sex!!" and "aros can still have love and have partners!!" YES, they can, but you aren't bringing that up just to bring awareness towards aroaces. No, you are using that fact as a way to ignore and condemn the part that makes us aroace; the lack of attraction. I'm sick and tired of seeing aces and aros have to defend themselves by bringing up all the other ways they can love. Why can't we for once celebrate the parts of us that DON'T love?
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redysetdare · 6 months
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No I don't want to marry for benefits. No I don't want to be in a QPR. No I don't want to have a platonic life partner. Yes I do want to live with my friend and live a nice domestic life with them. No these are not contradictory things to want. Check your amatonormativity if you think so.
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shmaroace · 11 months
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hey so i aro-ed your boyfriend. yeah he's rejected the concept of love and amatonormativity. no, no he's still your boyfriend, he's just aro now
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positivelgbtqvibes · 1 year
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Gonna start saying "love is a strong word" the same way people say "hate is a strong word"
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bee8467 · 7 months
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ok you support aro people but are you normal about loveless aros
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klavierpanda · 1 year
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Not aro as in "I'm still normal because I love my friends" but aro as in "I'm going to burn down the relationship hierarchy and the idea that 'love' or experiening any form of attraction is what makes us human". Aro as in "fuck you, I'm queer"
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lovelessrage · 4 months
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This post goes out to unfeeling aros. To aros that choose to reject love and aros that don't see it as a part of their life. To aros that had no choice in what love they struggle to or can't feel at all. To aros with low or no empathy, to aros that can't fit the ideal of "still caring in a different way". To aros that very rarely or will never "love in other ways". To aros that can't, won't, or don't want to be defined by how much they love their friends or family instead.
Being aromantic is not something to "redeem".
Being aromantic should not be something you have to dress up in "buts" and "ifs" about feeling in other ways.
Being aromantic means supporting the aros around you, not punching down because you found a way to be accepted more broadly and don't mind who gets left behind. It's all of us or none of us, and that includes aros who can't love, can't care, and won't fit the image of a "good aro" who's perfectly platonic, familial, caring and loving. Even the most solitary aro you can think of is deserving of a judgement-free life.
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Remember folks the solution to amatonormativity isn't to replace one type of expectation (romantic love) with another, slightly less restrictive but still restrictive expectation (every other form of love) but to erase the expectation altogether and let people be
It is true that (some) aros can still love but not all of them, and aros shouldn't have to make up for their lack of romantic attraction/love by feeling other types of attraction/love stronger. Love should not be a requirement to be treated as people
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