#lying gently in the cold hard earth rn

[tenderphilosophia]

heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i??? i would not change it each time?? I AM SCREAMING! LIKE HE REALLY JUST CASUALLY SAID THAT AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY? YOU EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL???!!!??!!? GAHAHIEOAJFDKNZJLFFLI3PQ4T9UOR;A:#TY%WTEHS/RGF

[angstalottle]

Protection Squad

@causeimanartist sorry this took so long I have like 5 WIP’s rn

Spending your days as a billionaire that takes canon fodder away from villains by offering potential henchmen jobs has made Bruce a target on more then one occasion.

It was fine, he could handle himself just fine, like the time some poor assassin had grabbed him from behind only to wake up a week later in hospital with no memory of the entire thing.

The problem was when somone publically declares they had their sights on him.

Funny how willing the entire police force is to work over time when it’s the local rich guy that funds half the city’s infrastructure is threatened.

Usually Bruce spends a few weeks in a dingy Gothem PD safe house having to make small talk with skittish officers and wait till somone eles saves the day.

It was torture.

So of course when mad hatter appeared on TV and said he planned to kill Bruce at midnight he was not going to spend his entire day with people he can’t stand playing nice.

“Get to Gothem I need some body guards for show”

That was all he needed to say for Clark and Diana to fly down mid press conference just in time for Bruce to assure everyone he would be fine.

The plan was to deal with Mad Hatter soon as the three of them were out of sight, unfortunately the hotel they chose was currently surrounded by the press and even Bruce couldn’t find a way out.

“On the bright side you get to hang out with us” Clark smiles as he closed the blinds on a particularly determined photographer.

“While I’m always happy to catch up this isn’t exactly what I had in mind” Bruce sighed drumming his fingers on the desk he had claimed as his work station.

He had spent the last two hours combing through possible leads and so far had come up with nothing.

“Well we could always make out a little” Diana suggested with a shrug. She was just as bored as Bruce.

Unlike Clark who could spend days in one place not really doing anything the other two were already going stir crazy.

Bruce looked tempted for a moment, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks before he cleared his throat and made a big show of turning back to his work.

“I just need to figure out Hatters game. And why me.”

“Erm your a billionaire and public face of Gotham.” Clark supplied.

“Yeah but going after public figures isn’t Hatters style, he settles personal grudges and I havnt done anything to piss him off.”

Clark and Diana exchanged a look which made Bruce bristle “not as Batman.”

“Maybe it’s about Wayne tech then? Has your company done anything that could set him off?” Clark asked literally hovering over Bruce’s shoulder to look at the screen.

Clark may have been a super powered alien and one hell of a reporter but he had no fucking clue what Bruce was looking at.

It just seemed like a huge list of sprawling random numbers and letters.

“That’s what I thought, I started by combing through the personal expense accounts of board memebers where they ussually hide fishy percheses but other then the usual prostitues nothing illegal”

“Your ok with members of the board getting prostitues?” Clark asked raising an eyebrow.

“As long as their respectful to them yeah I don’t give a fuck. Besides I’ve hired a good chunk of them, Katie down in public relations can speak seven languages and now gets health care.” Bruce shrugged missing the jealous expressions that crossed the others faces.

They knew Bruce wasn’t exactly the play boy he pretended to be.

Hell as far as they knew the only reason he wasn’t a virgin was cause Talia and Catwoman got there first.

It didn’t change the fact that whenever they heard stories about him with hordes of women a red hot jealousy burned in their guts making them want to slam him against the wall and remind him who really loves him.

The pair were pulled out of said thoughts by Bruce letting out a honestly pretty cute “ah ha”.

“What is it?” Diana asked joining Clark in the hovering.

“It wasn’t under the table that’s why it took me so long to find it. Honesty is hard to find these days.” He chuckled as he pointed at a news article from a couple of weeks ago.

A local theatre had burnt down and the Thomas and Martha Wayne foundation pledged to rebuild it.

That was easy to ignore as just another charitable even the company did.

The problem was that it pulled all the publicity was another local theatre that was doing a production of Alice in Wonderland.

Looking through the advertisement Bruce could see that it was clearly a trap made by Hatter that failed because no one bothered to go.

“He blames me for his last plan failing. I bet the Batmobil he’s in the theatre.”

“Ok I’ll tell the commissioner Batman told us where to find him and go pick him up.”

Clark headed for the door only to be met with a crowd of flashing lights.

It was so bright everyone in the room overed their eyes.

There were sounds of a scuffle but Clark and Diana couldn’t see anything.

“Please turn off the flash” Clark said as the lights continued with no click...

No click of the cameras mechanism...

Clark was around cameras all day he knew what they were supposed to sound like and this wasn’t it.

He took in a deep breath and blew into the crowd sending them scattering to the other side of the hallway.

The strange thing was that even with the cameras knocked out of their hands they continued to press an imaginary button.

Cold dread settled into Clark’s stomach when he realised they were all under mind control.

He quickly turned round to see Diana rubbing her eyes and Bruce lying of the floor.

“Bruce!” Clark yelled as he sped over hands hovering in terror.

Diana gently pushed him to the side as she rolled Bruce over.

There was a gash on his forehead sluggishly leaking blood but his eyes were quickly flickering open.

He looked up at Clark and Diana’s worried faces and gave him a crooked smile.

The kind that only they were allowed to see and no one else.

“Don’t be mad but I figured this would happen.”

“Did you use yourself as bait?!” Diana let go of him and let him flop harmlessly back to the floor.

Bruce let out a soft groan as he gestured to the unconscious Mad Hatter on the other side of the bed.

“I figured if we didn’t find out where he was he would come himself. Especially with the entire of Gotham talking about where I was hiding out.” Bruce pulled himself to his feet and pulled a pair of hand cuffs out of god knows where and secured Hatter.

“Ok but how did you take him out when we couldn’t even see.” Clark asked already picking up the phone to call the police for a pick up.

Bruce just smirked at them knowingly “because I’m Batman.”

The next hour was spent with the police dealing with Hatter and his victims.

After the camera incident they decided having any media around was a security risk and had them clear out.

Bruce had managed to avoid going to the hospital mainly thanks to having fucking Superman flutter around his injury like a mother hen.

The officers found it kinda funny how nervous the superhero’s were around their little billionaire.

Almost made them feel proud.

The trio were eventually dismissed and assumed to have gone their separate ways.

Which was the plan until Bruce grabbed the two super strong hero’s and pulled them into a empty utility closet like they were kittens.

The following make out session more then made up for the stress of the day.

Right up until one officer wearing a body cam opened the door to see the three wrapped up together.

It bought Gotham PD a few new squad cars and a coffee maker to keep that footage from being leaked.

Alfred did however still manage to get a copy and laughs about it whenever he can.

One good thing did come out of the situation though.

Whenever Bruce Wayne was publicly threatened the police saw no reason to step in.

After all when your banging Earth most powerful superhero’s who needs protection duty.

They did feel bad for Batman though...

Poor guy must feel like such a third wheel.