#lys lb: merlin

[merlinemrys]

GOD ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE JUST SO … [KICKS SCREAMS BITES MAIMS KILLS EATS DEVOURS CONSUMES IMPLODES EXPLODES DIES RESURRECTS] THE WAY MERLIN IS SO OUTWARDLY FRIENDLY BUT HE HOLDS SECRETS CLOSE TO HIS CHEST, THE WAY ARTHUR’S OUTWARDLY DISTANT BUT HE WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE. I AM LOSING THE ABILITY TO THERMOREGULATE BECAUSE OF THESE FREAKS

[dreamertrilogys]

like on one hand everything IS entirely merlin’s fault!!! you can (and sometimes should!!) absolutely blame him for being everything!!! but! you can also see WHY he did things the way he did & how sometimes it seemed like he didn’t have a choice OR how he didn’t know the whole story or whatever. anyway the moral of bbc merlin is that internalized homophobia kills just as much as external homophobia in this essay i will

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

major should kill himself actually for lying to liv

[rorykillmore]

merlin really fuckin tests me sometimes.

[terriblelifechoices]

Well, today has been entertaining.  I have started a batch of strawberry liqueur, acquired nearly 40 lbs of frosting for Operation: Wedding Cake and finally seen Aquaman.  I am also almost done with 이모 sock #1, so all in all I think it has been a productive day.  I am celebrating with comment fic.

This was originally written for solarfox, thanks to their comment:

I wonder how Galahad would react to a younger sibling having to be his nurse because both his parents are gone and the next oldest sibling is working.

The answer is: with more grace than I would. 

New York, July 1958

The Pukwudgies had invaded.

Galahad squinted at his youngest siblings, trying to make sense of the world.  Nothing made sense at the moment, least of all the invasion of the Pukwudgies, but he was an Auror and a Graves and he felt honor bound to try.

“What --” he began, resisting the urge to cough.  He succeeded for all of five seconds -- a new record -- and then the jagged coughs burst free and he couldn’t stop.  He pitched forward, unable to catch his balance and cough and try to breathe all at the same time in his weakened state, and probably would have landed on his face if someone hadn’t caught him.

When had baby Dag gotten so tall, he wondered.

“Not a baby,” Dag said, reflexive.

Lyo patted Galahad’s cheek.  “He’s not.  You’re still a disaster, though.”

“Shut up,” said Galahad, pulling away from Dagonet and staggering back down the hall towards his bedroom.  “M sick, not a disaster.”

“You dosed yourself with homemade Pepper-up,” Lyo said, merciless.  “Which was dumb for multiple reasons.”

“You don’t need to tell me the reasons,” said Galahad.

“Oh, but I’m going to,” said Lyo, who had clearly taken lessons from Ollie and Ellie in the fine art of being mean to her older brothers.

Why were all of Galahad’s sisters so mean, he wondered.

“Because we have to put up with our dumbass brothers,” said Lyo.  “Now.  Getting back to the reasons you are a dumbass whose homemade Pepper-up didn’t work.  One: you are tragically, embarrassingly terrible at Potions.”

“Am not,” said Galahad.  He was not tragically, terribly embarrassing at anything, thank you very much, Lyo.  He might not have had Uncle Robert or Arthur even Lance’s instincts for Potions, but that was hardly embarrassing.

“Two: you live with a Healer,” said Lyo.

“Debatable,” said Galahad.  Aurors and Healers were both shift workers, so while it was nice to live with someone who understood insane scheduling, it also meant he went a long time without seeing his fiancé sometimes.

“Technicalities are for criminals, sophists and lawyers,” Dag sing-songed, quoting Dad.

“You could have gotten Sam to give you proper Pepper-up,” Lyo continued, as if neither of her brothers had spoken.  “Or you could have had her treat you.  But no.  You tried to medicate yourself.”

Galahad wanted to argue that point and couldn’t.  He had tried to medicate himself.  Although in his defense, he’d been working a lot because everyone else was out with the flu, and Sam had been working a lot because everyone kept coming in with the flu, and he hadn’t really seen her and couldn’t ask her to treat him.

“Yeah, that’s actually point three,” said Lyo.  “Working three weeks without a day off was really dumb, Galahad.”

Galahad frowned at her.  Lyo was not any kind of Legilimens -- thank Merlin and Morgana and all of Arthur’s knights.  She was terrifying enough without the ability to read minds.  All of his sisters were terrifying enough without the ability to read minds.  He’d never have been able to keep up with them, otherwise.

So why was she arguing with him like she could read his mind?

Both of his youngest siblings stared at him.

Galahad sighed.  “I’m saying all of this out loud, aren’t I?”

“How bad is your fever?” Dag asked, reaching out to press the back of his hand to Galahad’s head.  “Yeah, you should go lie down now.”

“I was lying down,” Galahad grumbled, shuffling into his bedroom.  “And then you invaded.”

“Oh, no,” said Dag.  “No, no, no, no, no.”

Galahad blinked at him.

“This is disgusting,” Dag declared, gesturing at Galahad’s bed.  “You are not sleeping in this germ-infested pigsty.”

Dag was kind of melodramatic sometimes.  Galahad mostly chalked it up to the fact that Dag was sixteen.  Also, possibly channeling Papa, who wasn’t as melodramatic but would probably also have things to say about the level of cleanliness in Galahad’s apartment.

It was a little bit pathetic, but Galahad really did want his Papa right now.  Papa was soothing, and he made the best soup, and he would have dealt with the invasion of the Pukwudgies firmly and quietly.

Ugh, why did Dad and Papa pick this month to go visit the Scamanders?

“There you go,” Dag said, gesturing to Galahad’s bed.  The bed had been made and -- because Galahad’s littlest brother thought he was funny -- also swapped for a fresh set of sheets that had tiny nifflers on them.  “Are you gonna fall in and drown if you shower?”

“Just let me sleep, brat,” Galahad growled, and had another coughing fit.  He collapsed into his bed and discovered that the ridiculous niffler sheets smelled like lavender and cedar, the way the linens at Graves Manor did.

“Fine,” said Dag.  “Sam can always give you a sponge bath or something later.  You can play Healer.”

Galahad had another coughing fit, in lieu of addressing the frankly appalling mental imagery that statement evoked.  Dag was not old enough for that level of innuendo.

“I’m sixteen!” said Dag.  “And you’re still monologuing like a crazy villain.  Please shut up.”

“Seriously,” said Lyo, reappearing.

Galahad was too tired to be terrified of where Lyo had been.  In his general experience, losing track of his younger siblings did not lead to good things, because they were wily and determined little monsters.

“I don’t want any traumatizing details,” Lyo explained.  “About anything, not just your sex life.”  She held up a hand to forestall anything Galahad might have said.

Galahad did not actually have anything to say, because he was feeling vaguely traumatized, or maybe vaguely terrorized.  It was hard to tell.  He was compromised and his brain was fuzzy, so everything was kind of vague right now.

“So you’re going to be a good little Auror and take your medicine and drink your soup and go to bed.”

“And you’ll go home?” Galahad asked.  He didn’t have enough energy to deal with any of his siblings right now, even if Dag and Lyo were being more helpful than any of the others would have been.

Also, he didn’t actually want the little brats to get sick.  That’d be a fine thing for Papa and Dad to return home to.

“Sure, Galahad,” said Dag, who was clearly lying.

“Then we’ll go home,” agreed Lyo, who was also a lying liar who lied.  She gave him a potion that tasted like feet, but she let him wash it down with a bowl of soup that was just as good as Papa’s, so he decided they could get away with lying for now.

Lyo curled up on the foot of his bed while he ate.  Dag settled into Sam’s armchair and pulled out his knitting.

“Why,” Galahad said flatly.

Dag had the audacity to roll his eyes at Galahad.  “Relax, big brother,” he said.

“You always take care of us,” said Lyo.  “It’s our turn to take care of you.”

As soon as Galahad had the energy to argue with them, he was sending a pigeon to Ollie and making her come deal with them.

“Ugh,” he conceded.

“Lyoooooo,” Dag whined fifteen minutes later.  At least, Galahad was pretty sure it was fifteen minutes later.  It could have been five hours, in his flu-addled state.  “I’m bored.  Tell me a story.”

Galahad wanted to call bullshit.  Dag had been self-entertaining ever since Papa and Aunt Dorothy taught him to knit.  As long as he had his needles and some yarn, he was never bored.  All of the Graves and Collins children had learned to knit, but Peter and Lyo and Dag were the only ones who’d stuck with it.  Galahad mostly approved, because if Dag had his needles he was also never unarmed, thanks to Dad’s tendency of finding ways to hide weapons in plain sight.  Every knitting needle Dag owned was a steel-silver alloy with a Pukwudgie-needle core, and could be thrown with deadly accuracy.

Calling bullshit would probably set off another coughing fit, though.  And whatever was in the potion Lyo had dosed him with made him sleepy, so it seemed like more effort than it was worth.

Lyo cleared her throat.  “A long, long time ago, when wizards lived alongside the No-Maj and neither feared the other, the steadiest of Arthur’s knights was his foster-brother --”

“No,” said Dag.

Galahad frowned at him.

“Fine,” said Lyo.  “The most beautiful woman in all the land was called Ygraine.”  She paused, in case Dag had some other mysterious objection, but when he said nothing she picked up the thread of the story.

Galahad fell asleep to the first Merlinian legend any of them ever learned, because it was the first one Dad had ever told Papa.  When he woke up, the most beautiful woman in all the land was taking his temperature and frowning at him like she thought he was an idiot.  But in a nice way, Galahad thought.  Like he was her idiot.

“Where are the brats?” Galahad asked.

“Lyo’s asleep on the couch, Dag’s in the study.”

“Oh, good.  How are you?”

“Better than you,” Sam said, amused.  Sam was his favorite Pukwudgie.  She stripped out of her Healer’s robes and into the loose cotton pajamas she wore in the summer.  She laughed at the ridiculous sheets and curled up behind Galahad, resting her head on his shoulder.

Galahad thought about protesting, but he didn’t actually mind being the little spoon.  He relaxed into the cuddle and went back to sleep.

Maybe the invasion of the Pukwudgies wasn’t all that bad.

Galahad’s opinion on being the little spoon are courtesy of one Detective Jake Peralta, who is absolutely correct:

[thisdayinfavrd]

May 6, 2009

If I jump out of the car now I'll probably break my leg but at least I won't have to think of something nice to say about her scrapbooking.   @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 115

Thanks for holding the door open even though you're like 50 yards ahead of me, ma'am. Hold on, I've got to tie my shoe. Look, a nickel!   @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 93

"Why don't you lie down on the couch while I pay bills?" "Why don't I lie on top of you while you forget about the bills?" Credit score: 480   @texburgher (Geoff Barnes) – 82

Writing a post on how I lost 200 lbs. in one day, simply by lying.   @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 81

I can't think of any body part that wouldn't be hilarious between the words "Restless" and "Syndrome."   @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 77

Missing tweet #1713161245   @luckyshirt (Unavailable) – 75

Sarcasm Society is now following me on Twitter. I can't wait to follow back.   @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 72

Bald men should rebrand themselves as imaginhairy.   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 68

Fact: Bugles corn chips are repackaged by General Mills and sold in Israel as Tastee Shofar. Not fact: All of that first part.   @lonelysandwich (Adam Lisagor) – 60

Sources of foreign policy advice, worst to best:  Kissinger. Washington Post editorial. Stopped clock. Mumbly guy on bus (if not Kissinger).   @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 59

Is there a doctor in the house? I seem to have tears of pride and joy in my eye.  Yes. Yes there is.   @SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother) – 58

FACT: Chinese symbol for "opportunity" is a character for "urban myth" inside a character for "sloppy translation" being peed on by Calvin   @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 57

When I do laundry, I rip everything out of the dryer like I'm on Double Dare & looking for an orange flag. People at the laundromat hate me.   @gordonshumway (Jelisa Castrodale) – 54

Missing tweet #1713567867   @cleversimon (Unavailable) – 50

Do you have to pee?  You probably do.  Just don't think about it.  You're thinking about it, aren't you?  Pee-thinker.   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 50

Me: "It's funny 'cause YOU made a starter wife joke!" Wife: "Are you saying I AM a starter wife?" Me: "Bu-" Wife: "Welcome to Thunderdome."   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 50

First World Problem: Having to explain "First World Problem" jokes.   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 45

"Mountain Dew Voltage Blue Raspberry Citrus with Ginseng" sounds like what you'd hallucinate if you drank something with a name like that.   @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 45

They had fifteen synonyms for grass, but not a single word for asteroid. Thus, the end was quick and confusing for the Thesaurusus.   @awryone (Josh Donoghue) – 44

Desperation is ten percent perspiration and ninety percent desperation. Plus ten percent desperation.   @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 44

[merlinemrys]

bbc merlin really is just a five-season long thesis of “love is not enough.” because it isn’t. love made uther slaughter thousands of magic users. love made merlin blind to anyone but arthur. love made arthur prone to betrayal after betrayal. love is not enough to save them. love dooms them. there was no happy ending for them, there is no believing love can fix everything, if merlin loved arthur hard enough that it will save him from his fate. love is the driving force of this series and it is detrimental and it hurts

[merlinemrys]

it always gets to me how powerful merlin is because if nimueh, one of the last high priestesses of the old religion, has to say a spell aloud to just unlock a door while merlin in the first five minutes just stops TIME for funsies then it's honestly a miracle that the whole of camelot doesn't just blow up if merlin sneezes too hard

[merlinemrys]

the narrative is SO mean to merlin in s2 especially. arthur took a possessed cedric as a servant, druids died when merlin sent morgana to them, gaius gets imprisoned and interrogated by aredian bc merlin wanted to do a little fun bit of magic, he falls in love with freya and she dies, he has to lie to arthur so he won't kill his tyrant dad, he has to poison morgana so that camelot won't die, and then merlin has to set kilgarrah free and then he wrecks havoc on camelot... it is unbearable how much the narrative MAKES merlin hide his magic even further

[merlinemrys]

s5 merlin’s voice becomes SO low and im SOOOO flustered about it

[merlinemrys]

s1 arthur's early moments of his fondness for merlin is so endearing bc merlin would just be like "oh valiant's a creep" and arthur gives him the tiniest smile before you see his walls come back up... god this show makes me feel every emotion possible

[merlinemrys]

when kilgarrah said to merlin in the first episode "how small you are for such a great destiny" he was so right. he looks so YOUNG!!!

[merlinemrys]

GAIUS: You are young. Your gifts, your destiny are far too precious to sacrifice. MERLIN: My destiny? This is my mother. My powers mean nothing if I cannot save her.

THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING. like after this it's a descent into tragedy. merlin believes other people to be above his destiny (re: hunith), but as he grows older he realises that destiny will follow him no matter where he goes. he's stuck. and it twists his insides. and then destiny—arthur—becomes merlin's crutch. he is NOTHING without arthur and it's so harrowing to watch ngl bc as merlin becomes more confident in his powers AND arthur, the more he sees the world through tunnel vision. he would sacrifice so much for arthur at the EXPENSE of his own life, his own magic, his own people

[merlinemrys]

i can't lie... every time i see arthur just pummel a man into humiliation i think he's the sexiest man alive i'm sorry i'm like this

[merlinemrys]

merlin feeling sooooo betrayed that arthur sacked him and doesn't trust him even tho they have not known each other for that long.... this shit's so hilarious like be gay elsewhere u destiny freaks

[merlinemrys]

the amount of times merlin has actually said and/or hinted about his magic to gwen makes me all soft inside she's his first friend in camelot and he cares for her so much ...