#mad scientist. also he can’t get over shit

[slavicwetcat07]

can’t let go

victor rothstein dnd vers

[rebelfell]

urgent.

eddie munson x fem!reader

"I want it to be urgent. Like you can't keep your hands off me."

Smut blurb featuring no *actual* smut, in which Eddie is doing his best to help you get over your ex. Cause that's what friends are for. Right? cw: drinking/smoking, references to sex acts.

18+ MDNI 2.8k

“Alright, that’s it. I need another.”

The cushions of Eddie’s well-worn sofa bounced beneath you as he stood, sighing as he headed to the kitchen. His shaggy hair flew up as he glanced back at you with a playful twinkle in his eye that fully betrayed his attempt to sound irate.

“Can’t believe you talked me into watching this shit,” he added with a scoff, indicating the movie flickering on his television screen.

With a quiet giggle, you tucked your legs further up underneath you and squished deeper into your seat. The smile on your face only widened when he returned carrying two new bottles, one of which he passed into your waiting hand.

He’d successfully bribed you into coming over for a long overdue movie night by texting a picture of his fridge that was almost barren except a case of your favorite beer and a couple boxes of day-old pizza captioned, “how can you resist???”

Evidently, you couldn’t. Hence your arrival at his door not even an hour later, swathed in baggy sweats and a giant hoodie without a speck of make-up on your face. Your uniform of late.

“She lives!”

He bellowed in his mad scientist best, practically dragging you through the door to wrap you up in a hug so tight it threatened to crack your bones and made your lungs ache as they attempted to draw air—as if he thought he could wring the sadness out of you like a sponge.

Admittedly, it had been too long since you’d seen him. And not just him, but any of your friends.

For weeks now, you’d been using excuses of work and needing to catch up on laundry or cleaning to avoid facing them. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see people. You just knew any attempt to hang out would only lead to questions about your recent break-up.

Questions you didn’t have the answers to, nor the mental capacity to tackle.

Eddie was a safe bet in that regard.

He’d always had what you could only call a morbid curiosity about your love life. If he asked about it, he did so in such a way that it made you feel like he was sort of dreading the answer? Like checking under a shoe to make sure a spider was really dead. You had figured that he of all people wouldn’t press you for too many details.

It was as close to a perfect evening as possible.

The remaining half of the joint you shared still sat smoldering in the ashtray on the coffee table. The two of you basked in the rosy glow of Christmas lights strung up on the walls he had yet to take down even as summer rapidly approached.

Beer and pizza sat in your belly, it and the weed only making the travesty of a bad movie you had basically bullied him into watching all the funnier.

You’d almost, almost, forgotten about your current tragic circumstances. And then…

“We can talk about it, you know,” Eddie said during a quiet stretch of the movie.

He instantly clocked the stiffening of your spine and the tensing of your shoulders he knew had nothing to do with the appearance of the killer following a side character down an alley.

“We don’t have to,” he went on, forcibly keeping his eyes forward like he was talking to the guy on screen now getting gutted, “I’m just saying if you wanted to, we could. Or we can just keep drinking and watching this garbage.”

With a laugh, he indicated the screen again.

The killer completed his deed and the wide shot revealed a painfully obvious dummy version of his victim lying on the ground beneath him. You were also pretty sure a boom mic dipped into frame.

It made you chuckle along with him and you turned your head, finding his doe eyes shining in that annoyingly endearing way of his that never failed to soften you to his whims.

“It wasn’t anything bad-bad,” you muttered, half talking to yourself. “He was just sort of…selfish.”

“Selfish how?” Eddie asked, brow knitting in confusion. “Like he hogged the covers? What?”

“No, like…”

Your cheeks burned as you stared at your hands in your lap, your thumbnail scraping against the pulpy label of your beer bottle that had begun to sweat profusely the longer it went un-drunk.

“Like in bed,” you said at last. “He didn’t ever go down on me, or do much of anything other than jump straight to fucking. And it was always over very…quick. Once he came, it was right back to business as usual. He wouldn’t check in with me or even me ask what I—”

Your voice wavered slightly and you clamped your mouth closed, forcing back the bitter taste suddenly filling your mouth. With a deep and steadying breath, you finished your thought.

“I just didn’t feel like a priority.”

The detached tone was one you’d been working on for weeks. You knew eventually you’d have to crawl out of the hole you’d banished yourself into and when you did, you would have to sound okay with the fact that you’d been burned yet again by another guy you foolishly got your hopes up for.

Eddie leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together. He shook his head, baffled by what he was hearing.

“Did he ever give a reason? I mean, did he…”

Eddie trailed off, not sure what he was getting at.

Because what kind of person had to be told to make their partner a priority? To make them feel important? Beyond just pleasure, beyond just making them come. How could anyone be lucky enough to land you and not do anything and everything they could to make it work?

His eyes bored into the coffee table, unable to lift his head to look you in the eye. It was hard for you to read the expression on his face. It looked like a cocktail of all the different things you had felt during your isolation. Anger. Sadness. Disappointment. Disgust. Pity.

“We talked about it.” I talked about it, you wanted to say. “But he wasn’t interested in changing, so I said we should end it. And we did.”

Your words seemed to hang in the air after you said them. Eddie stayed silent a few moments longer, seemingly deep in thought. The movie played on, but the words and pictures both sort of blurred into static neither of you were paying much attention to anymore.

“That’s awful,” he said at last. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Your eyes darted up, surprised by the softness in his voice. The soothing, calming reassurance thing was much more Nancy’s speed. You knew Eddie could be sweet, but it was always buried under a million layers of sarcasm the same way he hid himself behind the armor of his leather jacket and denim vest. By the look on his face, he’d surprised himself as well.

“He’s a fuckin’ loser,” he grumbled, almost angry. “You were right to dump him.”

“Maybe,” you sighed back, staring down at your lap again. The swishing of Eddie’s curls told you he was shaking his head emphatically.

“There’s no maybe about it,” he insisted, tipping his beer back to take a long swig. “If he doesn’t appreciate someone like you he doesn’t deserve to be with anyone, s’far as I’m concerned.”

The tiniest smile emerged on your lips when you heard the little southern drawl that crept into his voice whenever he got a bit worked up. It makes him sound like his uncle Wayne grumbling about the noisy neighborhood kids or “those damn bureaucrats with their burea-crock-a-shits.”

“Thanks,” you said, nodding weakly. “I know it was the right decision and all, I just…it all feels so fucking hopeless. Even if I find another guy who seems nice, who knows if he’ll stay that way? I don’t want to just fuck a bunch of frogs on the off-chance one of them is a prince.”

Eddie snorted, nearly spraying the sip of beer he’d just taken out of his nose as you went on.

“The worst part is I’m so, like…”

You shook your head as you laughed in disbelief, hiding your face with your hand as it flushed with heat at what you had almost blurted out. Were you really about to say this?

His brown eyes danced under arched brows. He smirked, daring you to say it. Fuck it.

“I’m so pent up, my vibrator is gonna file a complaint for hazardous working conditions.”

“Maybe you need a new vibrator,” Eddie suggested. Or someone new behind the wheel.

You shoved his shoulder playfully, wide smiles spreading across both your faces. He grabbed at your wrist, wrestling your hand away and bringing it towards his mouth, feigning like he was going to bite. Squealing giggles erupted out of you as you pulled it back and he gnashed at the air.

Breathless from laughing, you settled back into your seat and inhaled deeply a few times trying to catch your breath. Eddie brought his hands back to his lap and looked down, allowing a small smile at seeing your face light up like it just had.

He’d do anything to see you like that.

“I will say,” you started, absently drawing circles on the arm of the couch, avoiding his gaze as his eyes jumped to your face, “It would be so great to get, like…one good night. You know, just scratch the itch so I can think clearly for once.”

Eddie paused, mulling again.

What he meant to say was…what if it was with someone you knew? Someone familiar you were comfortable with? Someone you knew you could trust to take care of you? What if it was someone you had known a long time, who cared about you and would put you first the way you deserved?

But the words that actually came out were—

“I could do it.”

“You…what?”

He knows that sound. That nervous, breathy little exhale that just came out of you. You blinked at him, stunned into silence as you tried to figure out if he was being serious. Eddie shrugged.

“I’m just saying, you don’t want to fuck a stranger. And I’m certainly not a stranger, so…”

He gestured vaguely at himself with his hands, a goofy little movement that had you rolling your eyes and tssing at him through your teeth.

“Eddie, don’t be stupid.”

“I’m not being stupid!” he exclaimed, only to stop and reconsider. “Okay, fine, maybe I am. But I'm also being serious. You’re my friend and I wanna help you out. However I can.”

“You seriously think…” You shook your head. “I mean, are you even attracted to me?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he groaned, “is that even a question?”

“No, Ed, I’m serious. Really think about it.”

So, Eddie thought about it.

He thought about that two-piece you wore that one sticky-hot summer day when you all piled into he and Argyle’s vans and drove out to Lover’s Lake to swim. He thought about how he had to keep reminding himself not to stare and how his shorts got so uncomfortably tight until he had to fuck off into the trees for ten minutes to take care of himself. And how when he got back, he had endured everyone’s teasing about taking a shit in the woods—because he would much rather they thought that was what he was doing instead of jerking off in front of some voyeuristic squirrel.

He thought about the way your lips wrapped around the end of every joint he’d ever shared with you and how his heart would race when you asked him for a shotgun. He thought about that one time he was sick as shit and had that fever dream about you in a nurses outfit he’d torn off you piece by piece, kissing you all over your body until you were writhing underneath him crying out his name until he woke with a violent jolt and had to throw his sheets in the wash at 4am.

And now not only was he extremely sure he was attracted to you, he also had a significant piece of evidence to back up his claim.

“I think it’s safe to say I am,” he chuckled, shifting in his seat.

Your eyes flitted down to his lap and you inhaled sharply at the sight of his growing bulge and the piss-poor job his thin sweats did of concealing it. Your cheeks burned just thinking about it and you simply had to laugh at the absurdity. If only it hadn’t come out so breathy and nervous…

“What about you?” he asked, his voice lowering to a suggestive timbre as he scooted in closer. “Are you attracted to me? Really think about it.”

Your pulse thrummed as your eyes scanned him, taking in every detail. Cutoff sleeves that showed off his taught arms, inked all over with scratcher tattoos. Narrow hips sort of mesmerizing in the way they swiveled whenever he played guitar on stage. Fingers that moved dazzlingly fast over the strings and had made you wonder on more than one occasion what it might feel like for him to play Master of Puppets on your pussy.

It made your mouth flood with saliva, and other wetness gush between your legs.

“What if…we kissed?” he asked slowly, his eyes locked so intently on your lips you could almost feel the heat of his gaze on them. “Just to see? Just in case?”

In case of what?

You wanted to ask, but the words didn’t come. You were too breathless as he drew you in.

You’ve seen Eddie kiss girls before.

Whether it was out at a random dive bar after his band played, or some house party in a house you didn’t recognize. You’ve seen how he cups their faces in his hands, large grasp nearly engulfing their entire head. You’ve seen the way his eyes hooded and how that insufferably smug, knowing smile of his turns up the corners of his mouth as he goes in for the kill. You’ve seen how his fingers spread wide to cradle their heads as they gave into him and felt the way it made something stir, however briefly, deep in the pit of your belly.

But you’ve never been that girl. It’s never been your face in his hands or your lips parting, waiting for the touch of his. And now that it’s happening…you don’t have any idea why you waited so long.

His mouth is gentler than you thought it would be, his lips soft and smooth as two pink petals of some flower you can’t name. You can feel the distinctness of their shape moving against your own and can still taste the malt of your favorite beer in his mouth, but the combination makes it into something new—something unlike anything you’ve ever tasted before.

You can just barely feel the tip of his tongue swiping at the entrance of your lips and it’s purely instinctual the way you open up for him to grant him access. He moans softly into your mouth, a plaintive little noise that sets your blood on fire. Suddenly, you’re possessed. Fisting his shirt in your grasp, dragging him with you as you lean backwards and sink deep into the cushions.

“I take it we’ve got the green light?” he asks in a throaty chuckle.

You answer by pulling him into another kiss, tangling your fingers in the hairs that run along the nape of his neck, twisting his curls in your grasp as you tug him back onto your mouth.

His hand wandered downwards, dipping into your sweats to cup your heat over your panties, his two middle fingers stroking at the arousal gathering there. His touch is teasingly light and yet he has you held firmly in his grasp, just enough to have you mewling into his mouth seeking more.

“Tell me exactly how you want it,” he groaned as he peppered hot kisses along the column of your throat, his voice soft but solid. “I want it to be just what you need. Just how you like it.”

You swallowed hard, struggling to form coherent thoughts with his teeth nipping so sweetly at your neck, and all the rings on his fingers pressing into your skin as he squeezed the curve of your waist. And through the haze his touch and teeth and lips created in your head, you managed an answer.

“I…I want it to be urgent. Like you can’t keep your hands off of me,” you sucked in another breath, “Like I’m all you’ve ever wanted.”

Eddie’s head lifted and you tensed just slightly under his reverent gaze. His eyes drifted across your face, all round and glassy and searching, as if he was trying to memorize every inch.

And then, as immediately as he’d paused, he was burying his face in your neck again, body grinding into yours with a newfound sense of desperation as he growled out a single word,

“Done.”

thank you for reading :) love you, mean it!

continued here

[do-you-ship-this-comic-ship]

propaganda:

THE canon comic book couple OF ALL TIME. They are SUPERVILLAINS. they are FRENCH. They are QUEER. They are a SUPER INTELLIGENT GORILLA and A LIVING BRAIN IN A JAR. They have both died multiple times, yet have inexplicably come back with zero explanation, thereby making them canonically immune to the burry your gays trope. They have historic beef with a group of ACTUAL TEENAGERS. Oh yeah, and did I mention they are A GORILLA AND A BRAIN. They are the embodiment of how batshit insane superhero comic book lore can get in the best way possible. 

Basically, their backstory is Brain was once a human scientist who took a wild silverback gorilla and raised his IQ to 178 with the power of mad science experiments, originally planning on implanting his own brain into Mallah’s body. But seeing how intelligent Mallah became and becoming attached to him, the scientist couldn’t bring himself to go through with the experiment, instead making Mallah his lab assistant. Then the scientist gets his body burnt to a crisp in a lab “accident”, which may or may not have been orchestrated by his rival, Niles Caulder (and tbh thats probably the case considering the other shady shit The Chief’s done but that’s another can of worms entirely), and Mallah saved him by transferring his brain to a jar-like life support vessel. Thus starting the scientist now known simply as The Brain’s mission to get revenge on Caulder and take over the world, becoming an arch villain to the Chief’s team the Doom Patrol and later the Teen Titans. Mallah and Brain would pretty much be your basic henchman and villain duo for most of thier existence… UNTIL Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol run in the early 90s, where after stealing one of Doom Patrol member’s Robotman’s spare robot bodies, Brain and Mallah confesss thier love for eachother, sharing a kiss… before the robot body housing Brain explodes and kills them both.  

Don’t worry though, they got better.  

What I find most insane about Mallah and Brain, you know, apart from the fact one of them is a whole ass gorilla and the other is just a brain in a jar. And the fact Grant Morrison and other writers not only had the sheer audacity to make such a bonkers and strangely disturbing couple canon, but stick with it being so, is that fact that their relationship is… genuinely compelling??  

Like, there are so many stories where their motivation is just getting brain necessities like a new body. Because he longs to feel simple sensations again like being able to smell flowers or drink tea (and also fuck nasty with Mallah, as he deserves). And Mallah is 100% ride or die for Brain and does everything in his power to help him. From trying to break him out of a prison ship while fighting superheroes Apollo and Midnighter, to the aforementioned finding him a new body, to kidnapping an orchestra to play for Brain because the tickets to thier show were sold out and felt bad about not getting brain tickets. More often than not, especially with the body stuff, its foiled or tragically backfires, but Mallah never stops trying to give his partner a better life and make him happy. Even if it means them both being doomed in some way. It’s both bizarre yet compellingly tragic and oddly beautiful.  

Plus there are a ton of smaller moments between them, like their old married couple energy bickering, Brain venting to Mallah about how no-one in the hero or villain community takes them seriously, to them chillin’ in bed together having a philosophical debate over what kind of dancer god would be. 

 In spite of how bat shit insane their relationship is, and all the evil things they’ve done as villains, you can’t help but be endeared by them and low key kinda root for them. 

Even though in the main line comics, brain and Mallah are broken up as of the latest Unstoppable Doom Patrol run, with brain dead (thanks to Mallah betraying and murdering him) and Mallah going off to do his own thing by taking over a city with the other villainous DC apes in the Ape-ril Special one shot (which I mean tbh good for him), someone at DC seems to have as much of a soft spot for these two as much as I do. Since they’ve appeared as a couple in other recent DC continuities/adaptations, such as the Peacemaker Tires Hard miniseries and, of course, My Adventures With Superman. Which I am more than happy about.  

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand why most people wouldn’t be a fan of Brain and Mallah and their ship for… several reasons. But come on man! It’s a French Gorilla and a Brain in a jar who are supervillains and madly in love! How can you stay mad at a canon queer ship that delightfully bonkers!? 

[clementine-thedestroyer]

Tw for dub/non con, but-

So, The Walking Dead AU with reader as Eugene and the 141 as Abraham/Rosita, but when they find out reader was lying and isn’t actually a scientist, let alone one who knows the cure for the virus, instead of what happens in TWD, they decide to teach you a lesson.

Maybe Price bends you over his knee, maybe they take turns… either way, Soap probably tries to run at you and kill you at first. He’d need to be talked down by Gaz or one of the others, but I imagine Price would be absolutely livid when he found out. Mad in that scary way where he’s not going to swing at you, but where you can’t even imagine the level of rage running through him, and where he’s going to take his time to think about how to punish you, because I’m no way would you be getting off easy.

Gaz would just have his heart broken, he’d be so disappointed in you because he vouched for you- he went out of his way to befriend you and to try and integrate you more with their little group- he’s really thought the best of you. I think Ghost would have the least of a reaction though, only because I think he’s also the kind of nosey and untrusting shit to have suspected something or never trusted you in the first place.

[melodrangea]

Ok okay 😼 Marie when she realizes stein has a weapon child(basing off the last request and I think it’s obvious I see the mad scientist as a father 🫣🤭) and obviously how stein reaction to his child seeing Marie as a mom!

You can write it anytime! Take your time! Don’t rush anything and MAKE SURE TO STAY HYDRATED AND HEALTHY!🎆

thank you my dear!! I’m healthy and semi hydrated so I figured I met the conditions to write again lol

———————————————————————————

Marie with Stein’s Weapon Child

-I think this goes without saying but Marie was aware of you long before she started teaching at the DWMA

-she’s a death sythe and Stein is one of the best meisters in the world, meaning your existence isn’t exactly hideabke so she would’ve heard about maybe even in brief passing

-wether she knew you were a weapon or not before she met you doesn’t make much of a difference

-you officially met Marie when she came to stay with you and your dad while they were working on defeating Ashura

-and safe to say she fell in love with you within minutes

-you were semi down to earth like Stein but you were so sweet and just overall doteable

-finding out you were a weapon just made you two all the closer

-you took a liking to her fairly immediately, seeing her as a motherly figure with your own mother gone

-the three of you would train together after school in weekends (Stein even wielding both of you at once one time)

-Marie would be delighted if your weapon form was similar to hers, but even if it wasn’t she would love you the same

-but when Marie finds out you can also fight by herself!!!???

-she’s ecstatic, so so so proud of you even if you aren’t her child

-she wants to make sure you’re safe and healthy first and foremost, she won’t let you overwork yourself one bit 😤😤😤

-is a little concerned that a teenager can figure out how to fight on their own and she can’t but it’s whatever lol

-you would probably also grow a strong connection with Crona from him being over to see Marie so often

(you would totally threaten Ragnarok when he’s being a little shit)

-when you’re in the classroom you and Marie try to act like you two aren’t attached at the hip (but it’s a wee bit obvious she has a slight favorite)

-no one in class holds it against you though and it doesn’t mean Marie doesn’t love her other students just as much

-now getting onto Stein

-this man is shutting bricks terrified

-he barely understands his own teenager, let alone a woman his own age

-you two have your own way of speaking and suddenly you’re style is changing and his house is changing

-the man cannot cope

-once he gets over the first few weeks of “wtf is going on”, he settles in really nicely

-Stein may not say it but he really appreciates the relationship you and Marie have because sometimes he feels he is lacking as a parent in the emotional capacity

-he won’t admit it but he loves how much you two get along, it feels like he has his own small family, it makes his heart all fuzzy

-and when you start to notice that Stein likes Marie you are pushing it SO hard

-i mean accidentally “forgetting” something in Stein’s room so Marie goes to get it while Stein is sleeping

-slipping both of them gifts and pretending it’s from the other

-trying to get Stein to just freaking admit he like Marie

-and when they get together you’re happy as a clam, within a few months of the two of them dating, you start calling Marie ‘mom’

-she started bawling the first time you did, and from then on you three are an actual family

-if and when Stein and Marie get married she legally adopts you

-you three are an unstoppable team of badasses, especially when all three of you resonate

-the only problem is Marie trying to figure out how to tell you both the family is about to go from the terrifying three to the fearsome four….

-———————————————————————————

that’s all my dears!

I hope you thoroughly enjoyed

and per usual I am here solely for your literary pleasure

-Melodrangea <3

[theflagscene]

Wait! How!? When!? Where!? How is White suddenly there!? How did Tee meet White!? You can’t just play upbeat music and have the boys running around to show the passage of time and not explain how the fucking villain of the story got the most adorably innocent lil princess boyfriend on the planet!

Phee, bringing Jin on a date to the same place you and Non liked to go is just weird. I hate people who use the same ‘date’ spots for their new partners that they used with their past partners and no, this isn’t me projecting, why do you ask!? Lmao 😂 shut up it’s still tacky af

‘Friend’ the dreaded word.

What is with the ass slapping and window sex!? I mean, I get that they’re supposed to 18 year old boys, who are by definition perverted, but that was some porn level shit. Also, again, no prep. Phee wasn’t even the one blown so it’s not like they were even using spit for lube, or an already lubed condom. What is this, another ABO show? Just having the dudes slick and sliding all over one another apparently.

Ta’s got a decent ass at least, good for him.

“Did you cheat on my brother?” Nah, pretty sure they broke up when Phee saw him being raw dogged by the teacher and then told him to go die, but whatever helps you sleep at night Tan.

“Don’t fall in love with him.” Yeah, I think it’s too late for that.

Oh, mom is not looking so great. Hmm, something tells me that video isn’t real. Mom knows what’s up, it’s finally hit her, her baby’s dead. The actress did a fantastic job of a mother realizing the truth of the death of her child, it’s a startling realization that does take your legs out from under you. Your mind blanks, you can’t think about anything but the last time you saw them, the last terrible thing you said, all you can do is try not to scream. - That got a little too dark and real, sorry.

news.boc.com Cute BoC, very cute.

How long were Phee and Jin supposed to have been fucking by now? Weeks? Months? Because Jin has gotten very emotionally invested very quickly, which is appropriate for teenagers I suppose.

Two years, so they’d be in their what, second year of uni? Tan has gone full mad scientist I see.

Wait, he called to tell Tan that his mom was dead and it was her funeral that day and he just showed tf up! When his dad thought he was still in England!? Lmao, that’s fricking hilarious. I know, I know, wrong reaction to this scene but I’m weird, what can I say.

Oops, bye bye daddy. No wonder Tan is so fucking nuts! That would drive anyone insane. He literally needs Non to be alive otherwise he’s lost everything for nothing.

Is Tan his own guinea pig for his drugs!? Jesus dude, get some help.

Question, were Phee and Jin fucking during their time at university too? Or are you telling me all this ‘I love him’ crap was from one night of decent dick and a few ‘best friend dates’? Like the math ain’t mathing, establish a better timeline here for me when it comes to their relationship because in the first episode it made it seem like they were screwing around for a really long time, months at the very least. But now it seems like they fucked around a couple times in one 12 hour period, Jin decided that was enough to wanna date, caught Phee in a mood because of the fake news report and then they just… what? Kept fucking? Stopped? Jin carried a torch for him for over two years after one night together? Acted like a scorned lover for years because of a single teenaged tryst? Not to be that guy, but girl, you’re coming off a little desperate. I need a more accurate timeline!!!

“This won’t kill them.” Tan, could you try and be a tad more convincing when saying that?

That was a fantastic look from Tan to end on, ngl. Although someone needs to save baby White!

Next episode, we’re back in the present for the most part it seems. Jin somehow still trusts Phee, Fluke somehow gets the gun back and oh look, he holds White hostage, poor bb did nothing, leave him alone! And Tee clearly does know what happened to both Non and Keng as he runs up onto the roof where his uncle is to see the pair… unconscious? Dead? One of each?

I want some backstory about how White fits into all of this next time as well, that would be great. Although considering how little the timeline of events during grade 12 are fully explained, I doubt knowing more about White would make very much sense at this point.

[munson-blurbs]

Happy 2k followers! If it’s alright could I make a request for my birthday using the 2k prompts with Eddie/hellfire room/birthday cake?

Very fluffy fic incoming! Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: none, all fluff!

WC: 1.2k

--

“Okay, okay, yeah. No, I totally understand,” you say into the receiver, willing your voice not to crack. “I hope everything gets cleaned up quickly.” You slam the phone back on the hook, punctuating your aggravation with a string of curses. 

“That sounds like it went well,” your neighbor, Dustin, quips, munching on a granola bar. Any time he comes to your house, he manages to find your snack stash. 

You bury your head in your hands. “That was Meg’s Café,” you explain. “Apparently a pipe burst last night and flooded the whole place.”

“Shit,” Dustin mutters, taking another bite. There’s nothing more indestructible than a teenager’s appetite. “That’s where you were having Eddie’s birthday party!”

“Oh, really?” you retort, voice dripping with sarcasm. “That hadn’t occurred to me; thanks!” You sigh as Dustin flips you the bird. “Where are we gonna find space to throw him a whole party in…” you check your watch, “...three hours?!” You turn to the younger boy, who’s already moved on from your crisis in search of more food. “Dustin, focus!”

“Sorry, jeez.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I can’t think on an empty stomach.” 

You roll your eyes and reach into your fridge, pulling out a crown of broccoli and tossing it to him. “Go nuts.”

He takes a big bite just to spite you. “Okay,” he says, “let’s consider our options.” He puts the vegetable down on the counter. “We could have it here.”

You shake your head; the apartment you share with your mom is barely big enough for the two of you. “Too small.”

Dustin nods. “I’m guessing Eddie’s trailer is also out, then.” He sighs in exasperation. “My mom would never let me throw a party, so that rules out my place, too.” He taps his chin before raising his pointer finger excitedly, like a mad scientist with an ingenious idea. “How about the Hellfire room? We can decorate it, order some pizzas, cut a cake—”

“The cake!” you groan. “Meg’s was gonna have one for us!” 

Without saying another word, Dustin darts across the hall to his own apartment. Communication is not his strong suit, you think wryly. He comes back moments later, out of breath and clutching two rolls of cookie dough and a bag of potato chips. 

“Let’s bake ourselves a cake,” he pants, plopping the tubes on the stove. 

“With sour cream and onion chips?”

“Oh, that’s for me. Though the broccoli was much appreciated.”

~

Dustin quickly recruits the rest of Hellfire Club—and Steve Harrington, their reluctant chauffeur—to decorate, while you two start on the cake. 

“I need a rolling pin,” you tell him as you open the plastic casing. He dutifully hands you the tool. “I hope Eddie is okay with a chocolate chip cookie cake,” you murmur. 

Dustin chortles. “Please,” he says, “that man would eat dirt if you were the one serving it to him.” You feel your cheeks heat up, and you try to focus on rolling out the dough. You and Eddie have been friends forever, but you’ve only been dating for a few months. That’s why it’s especially important for everything to be perfect. 

“Don’t believe me?” Dustin continues. “Ask Lucas and Mike. One time you left him a cute note in his locker, and he kept looking at it during Hellfire. Couldn’t even stay in his DM character. And this is the guy who once puked and came back to finish a campaign like nothing happened.”

“Okay, okay,” you say, placing the dough in the oven. “I’m gonna call everyone and let them know about the change of venue. Just take the cake out when the timer goes off.” He gives you a little salute as you make your way through the guest list. 

“Cake’s done!” Dustin calls out as you wrap up your final call. The smell of freshly-baked cookies wafts through the air. “Just gotta let it cool.” He looks over at you before blurting out, “So, uh, do you love Eddie?”

“I, um,” you choke on your words. “I don’t really know what love feels like. Like, romantic love.”

“Well,” he starts, plopping onto a kitchen chair, “when you get news—good or bad—who’s the first person you wanna tell? When you think about your future, who’s there? Who makes you smile more than anyone else? Whose sadness makes you sad?”

It’s the same answer for all of his questions. “Eddie.”

“So, there ya go!” Dustin exclaims, slapping the table. “Now all you gotta do is tell him.” He says it like it’s no big deal; like you wouldn’t be baring your heart to him. What if it was too soon? What if he thought you were rushing things?

~

Your nerves are already at an all-time high, but when you hear Wayne and Eddie’s voices traveling down the Hawkins High hallway, your heart feels like it’ll pound out of your chest. 

“So you’re applying to be a custodian?” Eddie’s saying, disbelief tinging his tone.

Wayne coughs. “Uh, yup. Figured you could show me where your club meets before my interview.” His voice is so stilted and awkward; for everything he’s good at, Wayne Munson is not an actor. 

The doorknob turns, and your stomach feels like it’s filled with lead-winged butterflies. “This is the Hellfire–” Eddie stops in his tracks as he takes in the sight before him. All of the club members plus Max Mayfield yell out, “Surprise!”, and you watch as a huge grin spreads across your boyfriend’s face.

“Happy birthday!” You bound over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Baby,” he murmurs once he wills himself to pull his lips away from yours, “did you do all this?”

“Kind of?” You laugh at his bemused expression. “This was gonna be at Meg’s, but they had a flood, so everyone helped me move the party here.” You glance at the table behind you, where people are already digging into the pizza pies. “I was hoping for more of a sit-down dinner, but we had to make do.”

“Tell him about the cake!” Dustin shouts, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Cake?” Eddie asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah…Meg’s was also supposed to provide a birthday cake, so Dustin and I whipped up one using cookie dough.” You’d managed to find a tube of blue gel icing in your cabinet, and you’d written Happy Birthday Eddie with a little heart on top of your makeshift cake. “I know it’s not exactly what you wanted, but it’s all we had on hand…”

Eddie shuts you up with another kiss. “Not exactly what I wanted? Babe, I’m surrounded by my favorite people at a party thrown for me by the girl I love. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”

You’re so touched by his words that you nearly miss his confession. “Wait, you…you love me?”

He nods, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I love you so damn much, it scares me,” he admits, letting out a little laugh.

“I love you, too, Eddie.” You’re about to bring him in for a passionate kiss–audience be damned–when you’re interrupted by a certain curly-haired meddling freshman.

“Told you!”

--

[xamaxenta]

Ace is really upset because his baby kaiju Dino inherited his hatred for his father except it’s less fun when YOU are the father. Cue super depressy scientist. Sabo the bartender/secretary/scientist wrangler (undercover ofc. Scientists go nuts when they learn they’re being managed/watched) can’t have that and tells ace abt this retired trainer Marco who worked at the og park (it got destroyed when the T. rex whitebeard broke out and killed everyone who was mistreating the dinos, he’s somewhere still in the islands jungle and Marco was spared for being good) and connects the two

Turns our aces baby LOVES Marco this is it’s dad now ace would be furious becos why not him except watching Marco bottle feed his rhino sized baby is seriously doing it for him.

Anyway tldr Marco becomes kaiju dad and starts helping ace and kaiju with their relationship while being terrified of this mad scientist, ace has a crush on his monster child’s handler, Marco starts sleeping with the hot bartender because yeah there’s a lotta Tension between him and ace but the guy is fucking Crazy he’ll take the same but weird guy, sabo spite sleeps with Marco because why did the hot freckled menace choose this blond over him?! And there’s just a lotta lusting until they all get their shit together it’s a disaster.

Ok kinda hot that Marco retired and was called back to help with Ace’s insane hybrid human dino child

Hes a scientist not a behaviourist or a trainer

Hes a terrible father ngl but he tries his best

Also i think its funny if sabo spite sleeps with both Ace and Marco not realising they’re both into him too

[deepseaphantom]

Aaaugh it’s a lot of yelling about my shit life

I hate this stupid house!!!! It’s rotting from the inside out and we’re rotting along with it!!!! There’s a hole in the bathroom floor there’s a hole in the crawling the dishwasher is broken and my dad won’t get it fixed I fucking hate this place but I can’t escape!!!!! I am trapped!!! With a racist transphobic father!!! I can’t trust anyone in this family cause I vented about my mom (she sucks) on insta and my aunt (her sister) saw it and told my grandma (her mom) about it and she called me disgusting!!! I can’t tell my dad anything cause he sucks and thinks I can’t be a lesbian cause I’m nonbinary but also thinks I can’t be non-binary cause I’m a lesbian!!!! Fucker thinks cause I was born premature and have aspergers (I do not use this word anymore) that I’ll develop slower into things!!!! He fucking told me that when I told him I was asexual!!!! My sister said that if I went on testosterone it would make me more angry and violent and has called me a idiot and a bitch multiple times (so has my dad) and my mom is absolutely awful!!! I haven’t talked to her in years cause she kicked me off tone health insurance and she also told my sister to KILL HERSELF?!? And my sister still continues to talk to her!!!! And I can’t talk about how our father was/is emotionally abusive!!! I’ve gotten over fights with my dad before cause he won’t use my name or pronouns(saying shit like they isn’t a singular pronoun) or him spouting racist shit and I would go to my sisters place (there is no where else to go) and I WAS AT FAULTIM THE ONLY GAY AND AUTISTIC LERSON IN THIS ENTIRE FAMILY AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH UIS TRANSPHOBIC ASS AND IM THE BAD GUY!!!!

Fuck I don’t even trust to tell them anything anymore about stuff I like cause they’ll chuckle at it and they’ve made fun of me so many times (calling me a bitch and idiot) that I do not trust them

I fucking hate being autistic in this fucking family I don’t fit in at all

I’m the only artist in the family (everyone else are lawyers or some sorts political thing or scientist)

I’m autistic )either I’m the only one who doesn’t try and mask or truly I’m alone)

I have nerdy interests (transformers)

I am nonbinary !!!! There is no one else in this fucking family that is gay!!! (I don’t count my mom I don’t care if she dated and moved in with a lady for a bit ((they broke up)) she fucking kicked me off the health insurance when I came out to her as non-binary!

And I get fucking interrupted all the goddamn time!!! All the fucking time!!!! I try and talk about something I like and I can literally see the interest fade from my sisters eyes I try and talk about how I was bullied in middle school and my dad has the gall to say if I smiled more I would’ve had more friends and he won’t shut up about hoe he regrets not letting me quit basketball and says I would’ve made friends that way!! I fucking hated basketball!! I got hit in the head 3 fucking times!!

And I fucking can’t have negative emotions in this house or not want to be touched or else my dad will get mad at me! I have no privacy since my room is essentially a hallway with doors and one doesn’t close properly ! He can just come in and talk to me about whatever the fuck or kiss me on my head and I don’t want that sometimes!!! And I have to pretend that I’m not incredibly dissatisfied with my life cause if I tried to explain to him how I feel and how I literally can’t do anything he says some shit like just do it! Make a list! FUCK!!!!! iCANT I FUCKKNG CANT

NEITHER MY DAD OR SISTED KNOW ME AND I BARELY KNOE MYSELF!!!!! But fuck I know if I was the person my dad and sister thought I was I would’ve killed myself already

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 35 Review

Originally posted January 8th, 2016

I feel bad for Yamcha, and I’m very okay with that.

This is a bit of a strange episode to review, due to the fact that I have seen the sixteen episodes that follow it. See, “The Island of Dr. Gero” is meant to serve as our introduction to the “primary antagonist” for the season, but having seen past this episode, I know that Team Four Star is going to pull a bait and switch on us fairly soon, and introduce the true villain later. The nice thing about “The Island” though, is that it still works, even if you know about the switch.1

The biggest hint we get that Dr. Gero and Android 19 might not be our primary antagonists comes near the end of the episode, when it’s revealed that Gero is unaware of Goku’s ability to go Super Saiyan. Goku then sends 19 flying straight through a mountain, and even though 19 was disabled by a system error when this happened (which was damn clever), it’s still a pretty clear indication that Gero and 19 are severely underpowered when compared to Son Goku.

The rest of the episode, however, plays Gero and 19 being the primary antagonists straight. They invade the city Trunks said they’d invade when he said they’d invade it, and they establish themselves as at least being more powerful than Yamcha, which doesn’t count for shit, but since they basically kill him, it serves to establish them as sinister and violent.

They also stand out pretty clearly as characters, with the Windows text-to-speech of 19 making him feel more machine than man and GeneralIvan bringing a classic “mad scientist” vibe to Gero. Neither of them are anything like Vegeta, Nappa, or Freeza, and it’s refreshing to see antagonists in this series motivated by nothing more than a human desire for revenge.2

Our protagonists similarly get some human moments in this episode. Goku sits atop a tower and waxes philosophic on the nature of artificial consciousness and how a person’s nature is not defined by their physical composition, effortlessly refuting Modernist claims to personhood being equivalent to biology (and he’s more articulate than some postmodern philosophers on the subject).3

Yamcha’s hesitation to join the rest of the protagonists in fighting Gero is similarly human, as is his reaction to hearing his terrible song played over the radio. In both cases, he’s utterly humiliated by his weakness, but while it’s played for laughs, I can’t help but feel a little empathy for him; he recorded the song because he was broke and needed the money, which, as an amateur film critic and college student, I can relate to, and he doesn’t want to fight Gero because being impaled is, I imagine, quite a scary experience that doesn’t warrant repeating. I don’t know whether or not we’re meant to sympathize with Yamcha, but I certainly do, and it’s nice to see a little human fear, weakness, and cowardice in this series about grand impossible fulfillers of ancient alien prophecies.

Rating: 4/5

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Stray Observations

1I suspect that was very necessary, given the number of people who, unlike me, had seen the original show before watching Dragonball Z: Abridged.

2I’ve heard that human motivations like this define the villains of the original Dragonball, which makes me want to watch it all the more. (Feel free to let me know if I’m right or wrong)

3I’m both completely joking and being completely serious here.

Honestly, I’m just impressed Goku managed to keep their training secret for the three years he did.

*Yaijirobe’s vehicle explodes* Goku: “Oh, look, we’ve never wished him back before.”

Goku: “Mmm, techno-lamb.”

Krillin, to a recently impaled Yamcha: “Looks like there’s two kinds of fisting in this city now.”

*Goku punches Dr. Gero* Dr. Gero: “Ah, I see that you’ve discovered the off switch to my ocular vapo-beams is in my cheek.”

Tien: “Piccolo, know any good wastelands around here?” Piccolo: “Why are you asking me?” Tien: “You know why.” Piccolo: “*sighs* Northwest, about a hundred miles. It’s actually kinda nice. I could think of worse places. Nice rock formations, neat cacti.”

Yamcha: “I think I might sit this one out.” Krillin: “I get ya; I never have any energy after a handjob either.”

[vacantgodling]

wedding invitation

wip: paramour role swap au! in which amon stayed with the family who adopted him as a child (in paramour canon he ran away from home back to the slums) & hya was raised by his mother (the mother he never met in canon) and away from his siblings.

to know: amon’s legal name in this au is coriandrum farrah. he still goes by amon and hates when people call him anything but. hya doesn’t go by hyacinthus because his full name would give away his illegitimate status; he mainly goes by hya though some people call him cinth. hya takes up a job as amon’s butler in this au and is shit at it on purpose but honestly? amon keeps him around cuz he’s thirsty. feelings get involved tho lol. the only one of hya’s siblings that knows of his existence is tagetes, the rest don’t know. hya also doesn’t know any of his siblings. that will be an important topic Later. not now tho! now just myrtus and amon being friends :)

character(s): amon (coriandrum farrah), myrtus spokes, alludes to iberis gunn, tagetes gunn & hya but none of them are mentioned by name

warnings: just guys talking about how they’re gay and thirsty. aka being dudes. mildly suggestive lingo but nothing serious.

“I’m going mad Myrtie.” Amon tugged at some of his hair in frustration, and, as it were Myrtus only offered him a vaguely sympathetic chuckle. “Be honest, is he truly that distracting?” The teasing lilt in Myrtus’s voice was enough to illicit an immediate eye roll on Amon’s part. “Well?” Myrtus leaned against the desk Amon was sitting at, waving a hand before tucking it back into his tight pants. “Elaborate. A description, or something of the sort will suffice.” Amon let out a frustrated groan. “He’s… shorter than me.” Amon said. “But wider; broader. I can’t stand to imagine him in a tight shirt, heaven knows with those biceps he could probably rip it.”

“Fancy being torn in half Amon? I like your style.”

“Don’t pretend I haven’t seen you ogling the fighters at The Nimbus.” Myrtus threw his head back and laughed. “Of course I do, who wouldn’t?” He then leaned in closer, grinning in that terrible way that Amon knew far too well. “I’m rather fond of looking. However, I’m not overly fond of the brutish types.”

“No.” Amon agreed, rolling his eyes. “You’re much more fond of pretty scientists you can bend to your whims.”

“At least you know he’s beautiful.” Myrtus let out a dreamy sigh, one that surely didn’t suit him. Myrtus was many things but above all, a sly, pragmatic man. He didn’t usually let himself get swept away in mental flights of inevitable fancy however, this scientist seemed to mean far more to him than the idle drooling Amon entertained himself with over his grouchy butler. “A beauty mark on his nose, regal, dark eyes… Pretty, pouting lips.” Myrtus chuckled to himself, darkly.

“You’re thinking about his lips in other places, I’m sure.” Amon said and Myrtus only shrugged, proving his point. “Will I ever meet this scientist of yours?” Myrtus hummed. “Perhaps. Are you going to the Crown Wedding next week?”

“That stuffy thing?” Amon wrinkled his nose. “My mother insists that I at least be seen there but these events are horribly boring.”

Myrtus laughed again, shrugging with his palms up. “My scientist’s elder sibling is tying the knot with the reagent’s fifth son. That’s the only reason I’ll be there, heavens know on any other occasion I’d skip it.” Myrtus waved a hand. “I can count on you to keep me entertained, can’t I, Cori Farrah?” If Amon rolled his eyes any harder they’d roll into his brain cavity and disappear down his spine. Myrtus laughed at his friend’s irritation but kept looking at him expectantly. Amon sighed. “I’ll have to find someone to keep me entertained while you gush over your boyfriend.”

“Bring that butler of yours! I’m sure you can dress him up, he’ll blend right in.”

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken #53: “Ban on the Fun” | October 28, 2007, 2007 - 11:30PM | S03E11

Hello Kitty gets a hairball? Now I’ve seen everything! Folks, that was my favorite bit in the whole episode. Look at me, dismissing it out of hand.

What else does this episode have? A senseless runner where the main dude form 300 says “This. Is. ____! (something other than Sparta)”, a grotesque but just-plain silly parody of the final scene from Rocky, and a sorta-clever sketch that takes place immediately after the fade-out in Thelma and Louise. I didn’t mind any of them too much, but I did not laugh. There’s also a thing where two meth cookers conjure Crystar. I don’t know who that is and I don’t care to find out. Seems like nerd shit to me.

Also notable is the “Scientist Mad With Power” sketch, about the scientist who declared Pluto was no longer planet (then roughly topical) going crazy and also declaring that other things weren’t what they were supposed to be. I sorta liked this one, and feel like it’s maybe the most cohesive idea in the whole show. The punchline is satisfying enough. I didn’t hate this one!

There’s also the memorable “Home Life of the Maytag Repairman”, a take-off of the Maytag Repairman ad campaign. The joke in the ads is that he’s never busy because Maytags don’t break very often. The boredom has driven him to become so mad that he strikes his wife, who leaves him. He blows his brains out, which splatter all over a Maytag dishwasher. This one’s fairly well done as far as Robot Chicken goes, I guess. 

The final sketch is Laff-a-Munich, which is a parody of both Steven Spielberg’s Munich (which I’ve never seen; I’m honestly only faintly aware of the real-life events that it portrays) and Hanna Barbera’s Laff-A-Lympics. I grew up on the Hanna Barbera stuff to some degree (mostly by way of VHS best-of compilations), and I actually remember a brief period of time when I tuned in to Laff-A-Lympics repeats on USA Network in the afternoons. You’d think I’d be fonder of this sketch. 

I guess I’m either noting a mild improvement in the show, or that I’m a little more used to it. It rarely excites me or makes me laugh, but it doesn’t seem to make me angry like it used to. Even knowing what I know now, I still wouldn’t bother to watch it outside of this blog. There are often sketches on the show where the writing is all-over the place, with jokes that don’t really build on the premise but are just a collection of “funny” things happening. I think the excuse was that the show was meant to feel like a little kid with a short attention span smacking their different toys around in nonsensical scenarios. The show does seem to be a little more focused overall and have more solid sketches. I still mostly don’t like it, though.

MAIL BAG

Please forgive my scattered absences. I actually wrote this post and accidentally saved it as a draft and forgot to queue it. Also, I think daylight savings eve got skipped? No idea why, that one was tumblr’s fault, but if I thought of it I might have gone in and forced it to publish.

I played the new Ninja Turtles brawler game Shredder's Revenge and you can't play as Venus De Milo. You can play as April O'Neil though (the porn star, not the reporter)

April O’Neil does some terrific work. Anyway: I read that the one guy sold his share of the Ninja Turtles to the other guy, and the guy who holds the rights now HATED Venus, and deleted all mentions of her on the official website. There was even like, some blog thing that was meant to keep her in the canon and he DELETED it harshly. HBOMax much?? SEXIST MUCH???

[nott-another-sideblog]

can’t get mad scientist! theo nott out of my head. he leaves hogwarts with a shit ton of money and no way to spend all of it, so he decides to fuck about a little bit with the known laws of the universe. he goes absolutely off the rails with his research, he’s got the conspiracy boards in the basement and journals upon journals of borderline incoherent ramblings and theories and hypothesis in handwriting so scratched it’s like every word was written to stab through the paper. he owns as many dark or hard-to-find books he can get his hands on, the majority very illegal due to their contents. his hours, when not actively making something in the lab (read: the entire west side of his house at this point) he’s pacing and muttering formulas and possible ideas. yes, people have walked in on this and yes they are adequately concerned. his experiments are on the same level of lunacy: replication spells that work on organic matter and create living replications, a time-turner made in an attempt to break the known laws of only one singular timeline existing at any given point, portkeys that can carry entire estates because he wanted a sea view, a sentient being he made somehow and named something stupid and now it just lives in his house, replicates of the dark artefacts he lost when the aurors raided nott manor after the war. you name it, he’s either made it, in the process of making it, or will add it to his list now that you’ve suggested it. it doesn’t matter how many years it takes he will try it goddamnit. his main motivations are either that he wanted something that didn’t currently exist, or the expansion of science, alternatively titled he’s bored and why not. may god help the world if he decides to get into necromancy, because even if it’s physically impossible he’ll fucking try and that will end up with so many horrible consequences he’ll let be because he doesn’t see the point in dealing with them.

he doesn’t have the limits that a lot of traditional mad scientists in the fact he does not give a singular fuck about the moral standings of his creations. frankenstein feared his monster, jekyll couldn’t live with the guilt of hyde, nott eats breakfast with the sentient blob every morning, it makes surprisingly decent conversation after he taught it to read. what can he say, they both like the classics and share similar tastes in media. his restrictions lie in what is genuinely, undeniably impossible and what would break the world if he pursued it any further. he may be mad but he is no idiot, so he doesn’t test everything he wants to in case he accidentally starts the apocalypse. do not let this man read Frankenstein, unless you want to meet the monster. he also doesn’t tell people what he does, people vaguely know he dabbles in shit that should be left alone, and he does get commissions from the odd collector or two, but it’s mainly a secret so the Aurors don’t drag him and his entire house to the department of mysteries. i’m imagining someone popping over and seeing the sentient blob and freaking out because what the FUCK, theo, what is that questionable mass and why is it in your house!?! and theo Does Not Elaborate bcs the blob is just a part of life now, he just waves. the blob waves too but that freaks them out more. if he ever does get caught he’d probably get executed for crimes against nature or locked away until they manage to pull how he made half the things he did from his head, and then they kill him because like hell they’re leaving him alive, he broke time.

reposted from my old blog

[lastoneout]

can we get a refresh on your ocs to ask questions?

Absolutely o7 (also sorry this got long lmaooo)

Eugene: Demon who hates his job so much he ghosted his old boss and is hiding out on earth. Personality of a golden retriever with the guilt complex of a reformed war criminal. Ended up getting caught by a demon hunter back when he first went rogue and was sealed away for about 100 years until Ophelia found and accidentally unsealed him. He decided to deal with this by falling head-over-heels in love with her. Also loves humans and earth and reads wikipedia for fun. Huge fucking dork.

Ophelia: Human, has spent 90% of her life depressed and apathetic and afraid of being vulnerable/honest to the point that she's estranged from her family and has basically no friends. Works at a concert venue and loves music but she pretends she doesn't bcs being liking things means being honest and vulnerable and that's scary. Eugene is the first person in years she's let herself care about, though she's not always the best at it. She is, however, very good at beating the ever-living shit out of other demons, as well as baking and playing guitar, and sometimes softball when she is coerced into playing.

Sasha: Human witch, though less in a cool hex-girls kinda way and more in a mad scientist kind of way. They’re remarkably good at not dying despite having no self-preservation instinct, and are also incredibly charismatic. They’re also Ophelia’s only friend, though they don’t really start being proper friends until after Eugene shows up, because Sasha is totally down to help keep him as hidden from other demons as possible and also thinks being friends with a demon is cool as hell and isn’t gonna pass up the chance. 

Harper: Angel who is bad at her job. She is afraid of demons and witches and all that, but it’s kinda her job to suppress/deal with any that she finds, so when she discovers Eugene she uh...well tries to kill deal with him, but fails miserably.  However, over the course of her repeated failed attempts she slowly starts to realize maybe demons aren’t as bad as she was always told and decides to back off. She is roped into being friends with the main three after apologizing because Sasha is addicted to making friends.

Thalia: Demon, Eugene’s twin sister. Is a pretty massive bitch and starts off being evil(and is the one who initially finds and drags Eugene’s ass back to hell) but eventually comes around bcs while she’s pissed he bailed on hell and, by extension, her, she does love her brother and is a decent person deep, DEEP down.

Cassandra: Demon, Thalia’s girlfriend. Basically the only person with two braincells to rub together among these dumbasses BUT ofc no one ever listens to her. Pretty morally neutral, but obeys any orders she’s given. Her feelings towards Thalia are just that post that’s like “I’d follow her into hell but I wish she’d stop going there”. Willing to call Thalia, and others, on their bullshit even if she doesn’t/can’t do anything about it.

That’s the fast rundown, but you can see everything I’ve posted about them here(which includes art).

[yibennianyaji]

In which I liveblog Beyond Re-Animator so you don’t have to.

Spoilers: this movie is an absolute hoot. You can see the exact moment when I begin realizing I’m actually having a good time

Oh it starts with a fakeout jump scare, that’s fun. And the murder of a babysitter. Cool, cool. 

I mean, I guess, that’s on canon with Herbert not keeping track of his zombies, but even Bride tried to start with some class. 

Please tell me this small, sad child is going to grow up to try to murder Herbs. I feel like that’s where this is going. 

HERBERT WHY ARE YOU EVEN THERE. WHY DID THE POLICE NOT PICK UP THAT OBVIOUSLY GLOWING SYRINGE SO THAT THE SMALL CHILD COULD GET IT. 

TIME SKIP AHOY (go back movie, I demand to know what Herbert was doing in the suburbs, and was this before or after Dan tried to leave him for the umpteenth time)

Oh my God Herbert you can’t just steal peoples’ pet rats, this is how you start prison riots. 

Holy shit is vengeance kid played by BABY EDWARD NORTON?

DOES THAT MEAN THIS MOVIE IS WILL GRAHAM VERSUS HERBERT WEST

Yes this is our DEATH wing of the prison where we bring DEATH down on condemned inmates and they sure do stay DEAD yessir no problems with the DEAD here

Ah, and I see the warden will be playing our Doctor Hill for the evening

To this movie’s credit at least it’s moving at a quick lil pace

Norton are you here to play an angrier Dan. Did they literally just say “okay we still want to do the same thing but we’re scared of having two older dudes in the lead.”

Oh, baby Graham is just dispensing with the backstory aaaaand he is totally on board with Herbert I AM INTRIGUED WITH THIS DEVELOPMENT. 

“Yo I saved this reagent for 13 years and got it past the guard with no trouble so, here you go.”

WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT HE’S TRYING TO USE IT ON THE DEAD PATIENT. 

Herbert “short term memory loss” West doesn’t bother to watch the zombie for longer than a minute

Well at least he learned, don’t approach the violent dead. 

WAITAMINNNUT THIS IS JUST THE MORGUE SCENE AGAIN. I’m on to you movie. 

EYYYYYYY is this lady character actually going to get to have plot agency? NEAT

OH HERBERT NO. YOU REALLY ARE TRYING TO USE HIM AS A REPLACEMENT DAN. This does not end well for you. Just ask James Sunderland.

(And HOW COLD IS THAT, move. Not even flashbacks, just one line about Dan giving testimony for the prosecution. COLD).

Wait, so the zombie that killed bby Norton’s sister was from the Miskatonic morgue…which means it would have to be from the original film because it would take some REAL SWEET TALKING to undo Bride….ARE THEY TRYING TO DECANONIZE THE MIDDLE MOVIE. SHAME. 

Okay I don’t remember either of you you kids’ names but you’ve got some cute chemistry

Herbs do not use the puppy eyes on the kid it’s not the same

Ah, it’s not a ReAnimator movie without some real awkward fuckin. 

“He doesn’t seem human anymore.” Because his precious assistant turned him over and broke his tiny sociopathic heart, baby Will Graham. A future version of you will understand (Imma go down with this ship, internet. Keep spinning in that grave, HP).

Ooh, reporter gal is real good at her job

Aw Herbert, you’ve worked your way up to sciencing the soul! I’m very proud

Okay, ngl, the prison yard scene is the most Herbert thing and I love it. 

Aaaaaaand demonic rat. Of course

Whoa. Not-Hill got his ear bit off AND THEN TOOK IT BACK

OH MY GOD THIS POOR GIRL

Ohhhhhhhh Herbs has his “lol ethics” hat on

Okay FUCK YOU MOVIE I LIKED HER. THIS FRIDGING IS BULLSHIT

Also bby Norton’s raw rage is a touch harder to buy than Dan’s was. She was a nice girl, but they’d only had a few dates.

Oh yeah, untie her. Good plan. 

Kuds to this gal, she’s giving it her all. 

THIS RAT FIGHT SCENE DEMANDS A SCREENSHOT HONESTLY

Wow, this prison allows a fuckton of leniency on its mad scientist inmates

I see Herb has learned his - YOU DID NOT JUST SLAP HERBERT WEST. MURDER HIM, Y’ALL. MURDER THIS DUDE GOOD. 

YES GOOD. Cross shot murders

Wow, it seems like opening all the prison cells should be harder than that

DO NOT SCREW THIS UP BBY NORTON THAT DUDE IS A RAPIST AND A SMOL SCIENTIST BEATER. FRY HIM.

Ugh, so hard to get a patient to give good feedback huh West

Aaaaaaand the soul carries the personality of course it does. YOU GAVE THE ASSHOLE DUDE NEW LIFE

Kudos again to this gal though (Elsa Pataky, I see - seems to be known for the Fast and the Furious movies?), she’s getting some fun stuff to play (although as “herself” mostly for the character that means screaming and cowering)

AND NOW WE ARE IN OUTLAST

OH MY GOD DOES THAT MAKE HERBERT DOC TRAEGER. THAT IS A CROSSOVER I NEED.

Vengeful Herbert is my favorite Herbert

Okay I lied, sassy Herbert is my favorite

And ohhhh there’s still half an hour of this left. Hurm. 

Hey where did bby Nor- oh, there he is. Still making poor life decisions I see

HERBERT GUARD YOUR BACK. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED LAST TIME

Ey, seems like the Warden is a famous giallo actor? That’s neat

Awwwww, I was totally wrong about that being baby Ed Norton, too. I am saddened by this fact. No disrespect to Jason Barry, I just mourn all the Will Graham jokes

Oh bro, bro are you gonna reagent inmates just so you can kill em again? Dude. That’s….dude.

Aaaaaand the addict fellow found the reagent. Well, at least he’s having a good time.

That…is a weird place to include boobs, movie. THIS IS WEIRD ALL OVER

OH MY GOD WITH THESE PEOPLE AND THEIR WEIRD EMOTIONAL HANGUPS. Herbert. Honey

“That dude is DEAD THOUGH.”

“weeeeeell…..”

HERBERT GOT TO DO ANOTHER ONE OF HIS AWKWARD SIDE GLANCES I’M SO GLAD

THEY ARE SHOOTING THE ZOMBIE MAN TO TRIUMPHANT HORN MUSIC I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HELP

Ohhhhh my God they just pulled an I Spit On Your Grave with the blowjob thing HOLY SHIT. I CAN’T EVEN

Bifurcated hanged man. Of couuuuuuuur he’s swinging it like a dead cat good lord

wait how WHERE DID THAT COSTUME CHANGE COME FROM

“This is mine” Herbert ARE YOU FIVE

I sense more intestine exploding coming

Herbert: holds up flashlight because FUCK IF HE’S GONNA MISS AN OPPORTUNITY

OH MY GOD THE MEAT SACK IS STILL - I CAN’T. I’M CRYING. HELP. 

The rat is rolling the severed penis I’m kind of running out of words what is even

Herbert is done and he has a cane. There is a CROSS CUTTING BEAT DOWN

And the fight choreography is from the UFC WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING BACKFLIP CRAB CRAWL?

Goopy electrocution aaaaaand the rat drops the penis in slow mo because OF COURSE

Herbert’s OH SHIT NOT AGAIN face. I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE DAN 2.0

Aaaaaand he just takes his ID card and leaves like NOPE NOT DOIN THIS AGAIN

Everyone’s laughing, CLEARLY A HAPPY END

HERBERT STOP DISCARDING REANIMATED BODY PARTS AT RANDOM

And then he wandered off into the night. To find Dan and have a talk (HUSH it’s the only thing that can make this more perfect)

[charnelhouse]

Chainsaws and Parking Lots

A/N: Adrian Chase x F!Reader Wordcount: 1.9K Warnings: Rough Smut. Blood Kink. Public Sex. Oral. Sex near dead bodies. Hurt/Comfort ish. Pain kink. Summary: Adrian never knows how to deal with tears. A/N: lol dis is wild and written in a daze

“I do bad things.”

“Correction,” Adrian exclaims. “You do bad things to bad people.”

You shoot a glare at him - your brows knitting together.

He loves the violence of you. He loves watching you tear people apart.

“What the hell did you use?” he murmurs - already hard - already half-blind with it. You turn toward him - your sneakers are stained red. You're not even dressed in your suit. Civilian clothes. Interesting. You wordlessly point to the gore-ridden tool that is nestled between the pieces and parts of dead bodies. Hot as fuck.

“Is that a chainsaw?” He places his hand on his chest - feels the thump thump thump of his own heart beginning to beat too fast. His cock twitches.

You nod mutely.

He wants to breathe i love you against your carnage-drenched hair. He wants to shove you against that tree by the road, ruck your shorts down and lick your pussy. He bets you get soaked - dripping with that punch of girl-flavor he finds addicting. Adrian Chase could eat pussy all day every day. He’s great at it. He thinks - or so he's been told by like three people.

“What I’d do?” you ask no one in particular. Your eyes are round and big and your voice is small and hushed as it slips from your mouth.

He gingerly pulls you away from the massacre you’ve caused. He wants to tell you how Tobe Hooper has nothing on you, but that might not fly. Your shirt is dark and soggy. Your cute white sneakers branded in arterial spray. He needs to be tactful here. He tries to think how Chris would react? If he’d react at all? They’re just extras. They just got in the way. They’re regrettable casualties except they’re not too regrettable because they did work for the mad scientist that we are currently hunting!

He controls himself. Shouldn’t come on too strong.

Instead - he pinches your cheek with his clumsy, gloved fingers. “You’re adorable.”

You blink at him - mouth parting in surprise. “That was - was not adorable.” He sees it - he sees your throat bob and your lashes flutter and your eyes go all glassy with tears. You swallow thickly and scrub a hand over your face. “You’re so fucking weird, Vig.”

He thinks that means that you're fine, but then he's wrong.

Your face goes flat before it collapses. You start melting down. Your chest heaves (he’s totally not looking). You press your hand to your stomach - choking on air.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

He could wax poetic about how the both of you are born killers - how this is strictly the job even though he’s about 92% sure he hasn’t been hired to do any of this in particular. You’re the Waller puppet with the enhanced strength and fighting prowess and he really wants to ask you if whatever experimentation you got as a kid made you like ten times prettier? No one should have tits and bone structure like that and also be able to wield a chainsaw like it’s a baton.

“Okay,” he murmurs as he studies your stricken face. “It’s alright?”

Great. Excellent job. He was making strides in human empathy.

You wrap your arms around yourself. Your face is still screwed up - still very lost and confused and he finds himself stumped.

“Chill out?” he advises as he steps toward you - palms-up like he’s attempting to gentle a bucking horse. “It’s fine. It’s totally fine.”

You chew your lower lip - expression anxious. “I didn’t - I didn’t mean to kill them all.”

“Okay...” He slowly peels off his mask. You’ve seen him before. “Just as an FYI, people tend to bleed to death when you cut off their body parts.”

You huff out a laugh. Your teeth vibrantly white against all that dark red. He wants to eat your mouth - your skin. He thinks you're going to cry again - maybe start sobbing.

He makes a decision - selfish as it is.

He can’t help himself. He grasps the curves of your hips and yanks you toward him. You go rigid. He presses his lips to your throat - wet and insistent. You sigh - relaxing into him - going to putty. He trails them up your jaw before he tucks your ear lobe between his teeth and bites. You shudder - your blood-caked fingers digging into the backs of his arms - trying to rip through his tactical suit.

He’s going to fuck you. He’s going to fuck you covered in blood because how fucking spectacular would that be?

You grip his face to wrench him down to your mouth. It’s a saliva-laden kiss. Messy and wet and tastes like metal. He doesn’t mind - not at all. In fact - he really fucking likes it.

***

“Fuck,” you gasp as Adrian rails you into the cold, hard pavement. He’s got you trapped beneath him - pinned like a pretty butterfly on stark paper (but not the alien variety)

He sucks in a breath when you hitch your knees higher over his waist. Your pussy clutching at him - tight and hot as a fist. “Um,” He kisses your cheek - drags his tongue along the ridge of your jaw. “This - like not to be weird - but this is probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever done.”

You arch an eyebrow and he draws his hips back - the head of his cock catching on the fluttering rim of your hole before he drives forward. “Shit, Vig,” you wheeze, which really kind of gets him going (not like he already was). He’s had to think about mile-long CVS receipts in order to keep himself from blowing his load. It’s nearly impossible because the air is swamped with that copper-stench of blood, there’s the evidence of your extremely violent tendencies just above your head, and the stimulating thought of them getting caught screwing in public next to a pile of dead bodies. Fucking cool.

He almost - almost - hopes that Chris would show up looking for them.

He lifts himself up slightly - forearms framing your face. He bears his weight - glancing down between you to watch as his cock disappears inside your sex - the thick of him obscenely shiny with your slick. Your thighs are splayed open - your shirt is hiked above your perfect tits where there’s more gore - more and more red just painting you like an abstract splatter piece.

You’re making really hot noises - high-pitched, breathy uh uh uh’s that stroke him off. “Can we like do this more than once?” he asks as he eases himself out of you. Your expression morphs into displeasure - your teeth click in your mouth. He’s already got you before you can complain. He licks his fingers and shoves two of them into your fucked-out cunt. He grinds his thumb against your clit - making you jerk.

“Sure,” you reply in between hitched moans. “Sure - fuck - whatever you want, Vig.”

He simpers. It could be sort of kind of romantic if he thought about it. The night sky is plumb-purple blue as a liver. The stars faintly twinkling behind the wash of smog that swells from the city. The subtle smell of decay and pungent oil from the chainsaw. His glasses fog up because of the cool temperatures while the two of you remain fever-hot. He finally has to remove them after they slide down his nose for the tenth time. He grins as he watches you writhe on his hand. Each pump of his fingers - straight to the knuckle - creates crude, squelching noises.

“You’ve got the juiciest fucking pussy,” he praises as his eyes bare down upon your exposed cunt - watching it bloom around his ministrations. He’s gotta get his cock back in there, but he also doesn’t mind this honey-slow pause - this moment that he can really look at you fully as he massages in and out and his thumb circles your perky little clit and he smiles at you in the cold dark of this abandoned parking lot outside an abandoned warehouse. “Can I lick it?”

You nod - furiously - desperately - and it really gets him charged up - to watch you splayed on your back - spread out and needy. Fuckk, it's nice.

He removes his fingers and lowers himself so that he can force your knees over his shoulders. Your heels knock against his suit - his spine. There’s your cunt - gaping and glossy and clenching on air. He glances up at you - the heave of your tits - the blood staining your face - caught up in your hair. You’re clean down here - just all wet from him and his fingers and his cock and -

“Adrian,” you plead and it rumbles through him - rides him hard - the delicious bite of your voice calling him by his name.

He goes to town - his lips kissing your parted entrance - his tongue thrusting inside you to taste your heat. You're soapy - the slim tang of salt and sweat and flesh. The brush of cordite and iron in the creases of your skin. He suctions his mouth over your clit - flicking it until you fist your hands into his hair and yank. He sucks a fold into his mouth - he nips the other. You’re panting - nearly grinding down against his face - potentially breaking his nose, which he genuinely wouldn’t mind because he’d be able to tell Chris that it happened because he was tongue-fucking you on the hard cold ground next to a bunch of dead bodies.

He licks and licks and worships. He traces the tip of his tongue over the tiny nub that throbs and swells and sometimes he teases his fingers inside you - relishing as they contract around his knuckles. He feels you come - a muffled scream against the back of your hand. The rush of your liquid - your pleasure - the sticky feel of it on his chin and jaw and the way your eyes dance over him - provocatively - sweetly -

“C’mere,” you demand and he goes - sliding up and over your body - his cock so hard that it bounces against his stomach - the rough texture of his suit. He buries you beneath him - frantically kissing you with his pussy-soaked tongue. Your thighs widen - your heels digging into his ass to maneuver him just right. He sinks back inside the molten ache of your cunt. You gasp at the stretch of it - the slight burn he imagines as he barrels into you without caution because he knows you can handle it. He fucks you hard - leveraging his weight - your nails digging into his throat - his cheeks. “Does it hurt?” He presses his face where your shoulder meets your neck - he laps at the spots of blood. “Is my cock hurting you?”

“Yes,” you sigh - hips bucking up and into him. He grabs a handful of your ass - forcing your thigh up higher.

“Let me get deep,” he mumbles as he takes you in long, tortuous strokes. He eases himself out - right to the tip - before plunging forward - forcing a whimper out of your mouth. “My little killer queen,” he calls you. The blood in his nose and the ripple and rock of the Queen song in his ears. The moon glinting off the chainsaw that rests not far from their tangled bodies.

You shudder - going tight around him. The burst of a surprise orgasm pushing through your core and curling around him as he tries to dream up more CVS Receipts and blueberry muffins with tentacles and his grandmother in a top hat, but it does nothing. He drags himself through the dripping clenching bite of your cunt - fucking you relentlessly as you take it like a champ. The sloppy, messy thrusts are met with your lips murmuring don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop, Adrian. Vig. Adrian.

His pace stumbles - he hits his high - fills you right up with spurt after spurt of his warm spend. He’s surprised - falling back on his heels while you sit up on your elbows. Your thighs hang open and he watches his own pearly spunk drip from your puffy, swollen pussy. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

“You’re pretty good at that.”

He frowns. “At what?” He needs his glasses. He needs a burrito and idly wonders if you’d grab one with him and then let him eat you out again.

“Comforting.”

He forgot that’s how this started. “I’m totally an empath,” he smirks - slapping his hand across your cunt and making you yelp. You kick him in the chin. “Shit,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “Okay - I deserved that.”

“You can make it up to me.”

“Fuck yes I can.”