#magical thinking

[furiousgoldfish]

There was a time, when as a young adult, I'd be reading self-help books, in order to see if I can do something to make my life livable. Sometimes, these books would go very deep into victim blaming, and making a person believe that they can just 'manifest anything', or 'make things happen', and later I trashed all of that nonsense, but as an inexperienced person, I was all up for magical thinking, and taking advice from people who enjoyed making everything a vague concept that one can control with their mind.

Some of these books indeed, touched on parenting, and their philosophy was that parents who are bad, are simply bad because their parents were bad, which is something they love to use as their favourite excuse (i had it worse). But as a young person, how was I to know this was stupid, I believed this. The book went on to encourage the child, to try and be the parent's replacement parent, and to offer them caretaking and parenting they never had in their youth. Now, if you know how child abuse works, you'd recognize this immediately as the encouragement of parentification, making the child responsible for the parent's well being, being the caretaker instead of being taken care of, taking responsibility for the parent's actions and behaviours when the child has absolutely no control or power over it - basically bad. But, how was I to know, right. So I decided to try and take this advice, and try to see; what are my parents lacking, in the form of having their own parents?

This is where things got funny; I analyzed my parents behaviour, and realized very quickly, that what they lack is moral compass, correction of intensely selfish, irresponsible, ignorant and shallow behaviour, and if these were my children I would simply not tolerate that level of malice. My parents weren't lacking in care, they were lacking in discipline. So at that point, I, who had no income, shelter, social power, access to resources, finances, or anything else, thought I was responsible for disciplining my parents and teaching them how to 'not be evil', if I wanted to change them in normal and good people. (Completely normal and possible thing to do.)

And it's not like I had any guidance in how to offer proper 'discipline', all I knew was violence, which I couldn't do for obvious reasons, and the next thing would be scolding, yelling, guilt-tripping, criticism, making them 'feel bad' for 'doing bad things'. And that's exactly what I had decided to do. Next time my father was acting selfish, malicious, shallow and self-obsessed, I dropped him a 'This is why you don't have any friends.' line.

Now I have no idea why, but this actually got to him. He was shocked for a moment, and then started acting defensive. 'I have friends!' he insisted, and then he started listing all of the coworkers he used for his gain in the last week. 'Those are not real friends.' I decided. That had actually gotten him upset. He started listing all the things he did with those people, which were just random work transactions, and it didn't convince me at all.

Looking back, it's funny because I was so low on his hierarchy of people whose opinion mattered, he tried to kill me multiple times, he screamed inhumane slurs and insults at me constantly, he considered me less than a person, less than a thing even, but he was still so offended that anyone in the world could think he had no friends. What I had done is made him worried that his facade and public image of being well-connected and liked wasn't strong enough, and convincing me that he was all those things, was how he thought he'd fix it. He didn't even think for a second that maybe he should fix his malicious and exploitative behaviour, it was all about maintaining an image of being something else.

Obviously he didn't have any friends, because he's a narcissist, and narcissists don't make friends, they keep prisoners. I was a constant thorn in his eye because I could see trough his delusions and would regularly call him out on that, which of course then brought on violence to make me terrified of contradicting him. Because that's how they think reality is generated, if they say something is true, and nobody contradicts them, then that must be the new reality.

Anyway, I didn't try to argue with him on friends again, because it got boring and did nothing to fix his inhumane behaviour, and I didn't like interacting with him anyway. But I still find it very funny that a book that was trying to push abused children into caretaking for their parents, pushed me into trying to punish them for abuse, it was almost Matilda-like in fashion. If I had magic powers I would have changed these people (into people too scared to be evil in front of me).

[quotespile]

I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking

[2001hz]

Xiao Wen Ju for Givenchy Haute Couture FW11 'Magical Thinking' W Magazine (2012) Photography By: Tim Walker

[3eanuts]

June 16, 1955 — see The Complete Peanuts 1955-1958

[uncanny-tranny]

See, the term "magical thinking" is perhaps accurate, but I worry that people interpret that as a cutesy symptom rather than as something that can very easily slide into life-ruining thoughts and patterns of behaviour.

I've found that my own magical thinking is often inspired by some incredibly hurtful, very personal fears and traumas, and I wonder if that's what many people also experience. It's helped to reframe my mindset in that I acknowledge that I am not that powerful that everything in the universe is my fault, but... it's still very difficult to deal with, and it isn't a perfect solution.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Young Sheldon, s07e06, "Baptists, Catholics and an Attempted Drowning"

[irregularspace]

It’s all magic

Artistic in nature

All of it

EVERYTHING

What you’re standing on

Whatever you’re looking at

Everything you don’t see and all the space between

You are it.

[schizopositivity]

can if delusions or paranoia is happen with ocd? or if experience then other not ocd?

Yes, delusions and paranoia can be a part of ocd. It's usually called "magical thinking" in ocd. I don't find any major differences between magical thinking and delusions, only that magical thinking tends to be "if I don't do this thing, then this other unrelated bad thing will happen". I've seen people with ocd say things like "it's not delusional because we are aware it makes no sense". But the fact is that people with delusions can be aware that it makes no sense, but they will still feel and believe it as real alongside the understanding that it is irrational.

[schizosupport]

What’s the difference between magical thinking and delusions? Is there a difference?

Hey there! So simply put, delusions are associated with full-blown psychosis, while magical thinking (and paranoid ideation) is associated with quasi-psychosis, that is to say, it's a less extreme psychotic-adjacent experience.

This may sound simple enough, but in practice, it's actually rather hard to come to a definitive agreement on the difference.

Some would argue that delusions come only with zero insight, and if you have insight at all it's magical thinking or paranoid ideation. I don't agree, seeing as how many delusional folks, esp those of us who have been in "the business" for years, often do double bookkeeping. Where you know that your belief is not in accordance with consensus reality, yet you still fully believe it.

I would say that delusions come with different degrees of insight, and usually the less insight you have, the more destructive the delusion can be. Strong delusions, especially bizarre ones, are rare to be held for years on end with no degree of insight. They are more likely to either knock you off your feet in a psychotic episode with little to no insight - or to be these more vaguely held ideas that you think about a lot, but you're not convinced to the degree where you would start acting as if everyone else should know that it's real too.

In any case there is a huge grey area in between magical thinking and delusions. But there's also some things that are more pure magical thinking - children often exhibit this, with fantastical beliefs, and it could be applied to some spiritual people too who have their own individual understanding of the universe and their place in it.

And with that, the blurry line is at which point is considered pathological, and then further down the line, the question is when it's considered directly psychotic.

And both of these lines are blurry.

Hope that helps!

[eyes-of-sonder]

"I watch him in the kitchen, and I think of how much it hurts to love somebody. How deep the hurt is, how almost unbearable. It's not the love that hurts; it's the possibility of anything happening to the object of your love."

- Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking

[furiousgoldfish]

When you're a small child, your abusive parents seem omnipotent to you. They are the highest authority you've known, they know everything and can do anything, mostly including hurting you if you don't do as you are told. They make you believe that they can read your mind and know your thoughts, and that they're impossible to escape from, they'll follow you to the ends of earth and drag you back into their house.

It's normal for small children, with no point of reference, to believe their parents omnipotent, but as they grow up, learn how things work in life, find references to how children are made and raised and what parents are responsible for - they grow out of it. They start to understand the limitations of parents, and often make use of them. They know that parents can't do or know everything, they can keep secrets, tell their little white lies, and they're not intimidated by parents because parents are not a threat to them, but figures of care and safety, people who they can go to when they're in trouble or in need of safety.

Abusive parents, however, work very hard to carry that imposing, omnipotent, oppressive illusion of them deep into adulthood. They will insist that neither you nor any authority or law can control or stop them, if they've decided on something. They'll show you by example, by manipulating people around them, sometimes even people of authority, that no matter what, they'll get their way. They'll want you to feel helpless, powerless and isolated whenever you want to oppose them. They'll manipulate your own point of view, and insist you have to see them in positive light, or else. They'll convince you that even thoughts that they don't approve of, are a sin, and that you could be punished for it. That there's nowhere to run, nobody who would believe you or help you, that you have no other choice but to submit to their will.

They wouldn't be able to impose such illusion on anyone except a child, and then the adult they've been grooming from very early age to believe these things to be eternal truths that cannot be questioned. And this is a part of what makes abusive parents so terrifying; they can go above some authority with the power of manipulation, they can lie their way out of crimes, they can gaslight and convince their victims it's their fault or it didn't happen, they regularly do and get away with this. Anyone watching that unfolding would be in trepidation of them, and hyper-aware of how dangerous these individuals are.

But, they are not omnipotent. They do not know what anyone is thinking. They do not know things outside their little bubble. If you go to a location they don't know of, and nobody can tell them, they cannot find out. They cannot predict your thoughts or actions as well as they try to convince you they can. They cannot change reality, they cannot erase what happened, and they cannot keep you imprisoned against your will your whole life. It is pretty hard on them, actually, to try and keep controlling an adult who has a mind of their own - that's why they're putting so much energy into trying to make their children into people without any thoughts of their own. But that's impossible.

Think about all the times they're really flying into rage, yelling and screaming and convincing you that something is right or wrong for you. How hard they go at changing your mind when you're thinking something that doesn't go to their benefit. Lot of effort on their part just to change your train of thoughts, isn't it? But if they were omnipotent, your thoughts would be no threat to them. If you were simply 'wrong', why would it even matter? An omnipotent being would simply shrug and not care.

They work extremely hard to change what's in your mind, because that's the only way they can keep that illusion of goodness and omnipotence. If you're allowed to think for yourself, to make your own conclusions, to believe your senses and point out what is logical, then their entire charade falls into nothing, it becomes obvious they're nothing but skilled liars and their power of manipulation is how they maintain everything else in life. It also becomes obvious how cruel and immoral their lies are, and how much damage they do to everyone around them.

They don't want you to see the limits because the limits show they're only good at terrifying and brainwashing children, not anything beyond that. You can get away from them to a place they can't follow. You can escape their cruelty and mind control. You can gain freedom. Your thoughts can be your own. You are allowed and able of keeping secrets from them. You can withhold information and opinions from them. You can lie to them. You can deceive them and trick them in order to get away. They have no legal right to you. You do not owe them anything. Their power ends the second they can't find or contact you.

[transfaulkner]

hey yall just an informative post about stuff like lucky cat, duck of inspiration, all that. i'd appreciate it if you reblogged or shared it to spread awareness. this has been an issue for me for a while now and it's really getting unbearable at this point.

[litandlifequotes]

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

Magical Thinking: True Stories by Augusten Burroughs

[agonisingpain]

Intrusive thoughts are back, they are loud and horrible. I am so scared that something bad will happen to my loved ones because of me and my bad thoughts.

My psychologist once told me that this thing it's called "magical thinking OCD". She also reassured me that although these thoughts are heavy I really do not have the power to make something like a car crash happen just because for a second the thought of it crossed my mind.

What my psychologist said helped me rationalize but sometimes when the thoughts are many I still feel extreme anxiety and fear.

For me having this type of OCD means obsessions about being a bad person, fear of hurting people, and mental compulsions to avoid it. And it's really scary and consuming because it's all in my head and people don't see how stressed and tired I am from trying to push away the intrusive thoughts.

Talking about it it's not easy, especially because I fear that saying my thoughts out loud will make them even more concrete and I don't usually do this kind of post but I feel the need to say to everyone out there with this OCD type that you are not alone.

Always remember that they are "just" thoughts and that they can't define you as a peron and neither make people you love get hurt.

[trebhum]

Question for people who experience delusional/magical thinking: when you're out of the moment so to speak are you able to recognize that you were experiencing those things? And/or in the moment of delusion/magical thinking are you, in your own head, able to chastise yourself for thinking strangely and yet you can do nothing about it and continue to think/believe

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]