#malewife manipulate king /j

[shslanonymous]

Have the manipulative malewife himself

(SDRA2 Spoilers)

(Reference kinda)

Haha, Nikei’s hand go brr - Mikado Sannoji

[teachingmycattoread]

Things We've Yelled About This Episode #3.10

Alanna: The First Adventure, Tamora Pierce

The Song of the Lioness quartet, Tamora Pierce

In The Hands of the Goddess, Tamora Pierce

The Immortals quartet, Tamora Pierce

The Protector of the Small quartet, Tamora Pierce

Tempests and Slaughter, Tamora Pierce

Sabriel, Garth Nix (our ep here)

Ursula K. LeGuin

A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K LeGuin (our ep here)

The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan

Joss Whedon (imdb)

Timeline of allegations against Joss Whedon

Joke Rowling

“God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason he made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine: because he wants humanity to share in the act of creation." Julian K. Jarboe

Everyone On The Moon Is Essential Personnel, Julian K. Jarboe

This post summarising Tamora Pierce's position on trans rights, aro-ace lead characters

The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett

Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson (our ep here)

Mistborn: The Final Empire, Brandon Sanderson (our ep here)

Way of Kings, Brandon Sanderson

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J. K. Rowling

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Anon (our ep here)

I cannot find the post about Alanna throwing her life-force into everything while every other Gifted mage in Tortall is doing finicky things with runes and shit, I literally reblogged it at some point in the last six months but Tumblr Search Is A Nightmare - if you see it, let me know!

If anybody knows the Naruto fic Eli's talking about, give us a shout!

Survival is a Talent, shanastoryteller (ao3)

Wild magic, D&D

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss/Mansplain Manipulate Malewife (meme)

Spidey-sense (wiktionary)

The Provost's Dog trilogy, Tamora Pierce

Rent-lowering gunshots (meme)

Cat Rating: 5 1/2

What Else Are We Reading?

The North Remembers,qqueenofhades (ao3)

In the Hands of the Goddess, The Woman Who Rides Like A Man, Tamora Pierce

Thief in the Night, K. J. Charles

The Gentle Art of Fortune-Hunting, K. J. Charles

Men at Arms, Terry Pratchett

The Lost Metal, Brandon Sanderson

Next Time On Teaching My Cat To Read

Nicholas Sayre and the Creature in the Case, Garth Nix

[charlioak]

In order: King Cobra- Girlboss, Gaslight, Yellow Jacket- Gatekeep, Malewife, Honeybadger- Mansplain, Manipulate.

me leaving my ocs in your hands because you explained them perfectly in a handful of words than I could in all my art /J ISKSKOSKSLAKS

[bigboobyhalo]

Everyone is so excited for the quackity lore and here i am paranoid that bbh is gonna WORK with the skeppy kinnie? I’m sorry bad your boobs are so fat please don’t do this you deserve so much better /j

I don't want bad and quackity to team up... not until bad and skeppy have reconciled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it would be so like... idk... not good? narratively? to reward quackity for the way hes been trying to manipulate mansplain malewife bbh. you cannot fix him big q. you just can't. not if you can't actually recognize his real trauma and desires instead of projecting your own onto him and treating him like he's like... stupid? lesser? ignorant? and that he needs quackity there to tell him what he REALLY wants and REALLY needs... he's not gonna fuck you, king

[satanfemme]

I don't know anything about theology other then the dead catholic jesuses made baby baptist/methodist me so uncomfortable so i cannot have a specific question but i suppose. Can you write the most fun evil horrible theology fact you have learned? And who is your favourite paradise lost guy (also what do you think his favourite colour would be)

ok ok I'm not sure where on the scale of fun-evil to actually-evil you're actually looking for rn, but the first thing that comes to mind is that there's a Lot of instances in the bible of g*d just straight up punishing people unfairly (imho), and the one that always sticks out to me is there was this one family line who got cursed by g*d himself because the father was warned not to do something or else his family would get cursed, and he kept being disobedient anyway, so! whoopsie oopsie! his family got cursed! and that's SO much to think about. like imagine just being born and doing jack shit so far cause you’re baby, but your life is already doomed and evil from the start just because your great great grandfather pissed off g*d or something. it's so fucked up, I'm rotating it in my mind. it feels like the start of a horror movie or a metaphorical coming of age novel or something. why are they teaching this to children as part of a moral lesson, what’s the lesson here? eat shit and die? I’m obsessed.

as for my fav paradise lost guy hm. idk that many yet cause I'm only on book 3 (out of 12?) so far and here's the thing... they all kinda suck fjhbdfjg. I'm diagnosing all of these characters with family therapy and restraining orders. But honestly? j*sus would actually be my fav so far probably. satan and g*d are both manipulator malewifes - and not always in a fun way imo - and although I like mammon so far I don't entirely trust him not to turn out to be a freak later (if he does end up being relevant again, which he might not idk) due to the fact that he is satan's bestie living in hell. j*sus on the other hand? literally just a guy. when g*d was like "oh woe is me, someone needs to be sacrificed," j*sus was like "oh me! pick me!" about it and I'm like!!!! king you're literally just a teacher's pet. you're the "gifted kid" prodigy. you're a golden child as a foil to satan's banishment. you're the specialist little boy in this old book. and you need just so much therapy, also.

and I think his favorite color would be uhmmmmm something kinda lame and square like "blue" jhfdgjhfd

[sullanfaction]

THE FALL

“For greed all nature is too little”

- Seneca the Younger

Ballooned by a string of military successes and a meteoric rise in popular support throughout Rome, the Sullan Faction seemed to be totally indefatigable in their march towards victory over the Marian faction in this Civil War. 

Yet, as the fame of the Sullan Faction grew, so too did the egos of its most prominent individual members. Many of them sought to capitalize on the good fortune of their faction to advance their own glory; everyone else be damned. 

In a strange omen, the fallen king Mithrades was paraded through the streets of Rome before being ceremonially executed. In an additionally strange omen, the Sullans did everything they could to destroy the upstart Lamponian faction. 

If they are capable of destroying that faction, they are easily capable of destroying themselves, especially when so consumed by their own greed and devious plans.

P. C. Sulla’s remaining forces attack the walls of the forum, graffitiing it and desecrating the totality of the once sacred heart of the city of Rome. Perhaps related to this, the Sullan Faction decided they wanted nothing to do with him and surrendered him to the Marians, saying it would be “based.”

Afella has spent time assembling an elite black ops team, who commit arson against virtually every building in the city known to be associated with those loyal to the Marian faction.

Through the power of love and cutting-edge science, Annius Luscus completes a revolutionary super strength serum. This empowers the Jupiter Camp, an elite military training base, to defend RomeCorp’s establishments.

Fortunate, because in a retaliatory move, Rufus’ long-gestating Cult of Uranus attacks RomeCorp Harbor in an attempt to destroy the overpowered corporation.

Crassus has been developing a similar cult, the Brotherhood of Bacchus. Using soldiers and the threat of intimidation, Crassus demands the government to step down and allow his soldiers to march on Rome to bring power to Crassus and his Brotherhood.

L.L.L. has brought gunpowder to the Roman world, and after showing it off to the Pharaoh of Egypt, has secured his support in initiating an uprising in Macedon to launch the Neo-Macedonian empire.

The Philippus Family, backed up by over 200 soldiers lead by the bear Bosco, has also attempted a coup to seize control of Rome.

Catilina has run off to Egypt to a loyal city, creating a naval fleet and residing in a Pyramid made out of pure gold. In an odd sign of peace, he also calls off a planned invasion of Rome by RomeCorp

Gaius Memnius has spent time honing his skills to become an assassin based out of North Africa, feared by the entire world.

In a full manipulate mansplain malewife moment, Octavius slaughtered Marcus Aurelius and his ex-wife, married Julius Caesar, and erects a monument to “J-dawg” (Jupiter).

Pontifex decides to flee Rome, seeing that the destruction and collapse of his faction was likely not going to end well for him.

Sura’s black ops team lie in wait in the Roman Barracks and kill officers, as part of yet another attempt to take over the Roman Army and seize control.

Caesar’s Jupiter’s Lover/Minvera group and Octavius’ Pantheon group merge and betray the Sullan Faction as well.

Varro Lucullus joins the Gallic barbarians and lives out his years raiding the Roman countryside.

Pius uses the chaos to become Rome’s premiere dealer of Garlic Bread, enamoring him to many citizens who survive the chaos and starve as a result.

Lucius Cornelius Sulla marched down the Rome Avenue with his Wolfpack cult, but was killed by assassins from the Marius Faction. The man who started much of the conflict was killed in the streets of Rome with relatively little fanfare.

In the ensuing Chaos, the Marian faction also collapses under its own weight. Marius is killed. What could have been a Civil War between two great factions for control of Rome instead turns into history’s greatest tragic tale of what happens when ambitious movements are crushed under their own weight.

[teachingmycattoread]

Things We've Yelled About This Episode #3.8

Anno Dracula, Kim Newman

Uzumaki, Junji Ito

World War Z, Max Brooks

Dracula, Bram Stoker (our episode here, mini ep here)

Kim Newman's Empire column (links collected on his website here)

Jack the Ripper (wiki)

John Seward; Dracula, Bram Stoker

Sherlock Holmes; the Sherlock Holmes stories, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Raffles; the Raffles stories, E. W. Horning

Dracula's Guest and Other Weird Tales, Bram Stoker

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson

From Hell, Alan Moore

The Jack the Ripper letters (wiki)

The Diogenes Club; fictional club from the Sherlock Holmes stories, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Mycroft Holmes; the Sherlock Holmes stories, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The Laundry Files, Charles Stross

Equoid, Charles Stross

Full list of Anno Dracula characters here

InfoWars (wiki)

Mary Sue (trope)

not like other girls (trope)

Oscar Wilde

IT, Stephen King

Jiangshi; Chinese vampires (wiki)

The Count; Sesame Street

Blindsight, Peter Watts (available for free here)

The AIDS crisis (wiki)

Bloody Sunday (wiki)

Drinking your respect women juice (duckduckgo refuses to furnish me with the origins of this piece of internet lingo, alas)

Fridging (trope)

Bridezilla (definition)

Hate Sink (trope)

Annie Lennox (wiki)

Arthur Holmwood, Lucy Westenra; Dracula, Bram Stoker

The Vampyre, John Polidori

Frankenstein, Mary Shelley (our episode here)

Dr Moreau; The Island of Doctor Moreau, H. G. Wells

For a full list of cameos, see this section of the Anno Dracula wikipedia article

Lord Ruthven; The Vampyre, John Polidori

Carmilla, Sheridan LeFanu

Joseph Merrick (wiki)

The Museum Vrolik, Amsterdam (website)

Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia; Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983)

The Bloody Red Baron, Kim Newman

The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien

Anno Dracula on AO3

Catherine Eddowes (wiki)

Mary Jane Kelly (wiki)

Mansplain Manipulate Malewife (meme)

Van Helsing; Dracula, Bram Stoker

Bridget Jones' Diary, Helen Fielding

Hugh Grant (imdb)

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss (meme)

Lenore, Edgar Allan Poe

ACAB (wiki)

The Muppets

Miss Piggy, Kermit; The Muppets

Jack Black (imdb)

Tim Curry (imdb)

Threads (1984)

Shout outs!

Charlotte's insta

Telling the Bees, Emma K. Leadley

Cat Rating: 6/10

Next Time on Teaching My Cat To Read

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

[teachingmycattoread]

Things We’ve Yelled About This Episode #2.11

Out of the Silent Planet, C. S. Lewis

"There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it," Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C. S. Lewis, cf. this post

Gnostic Christianity (wiki)

Perelandra, C. S. Lewis

That Hideous Strength, C. S. Lewis

The Once and Future King, T. H. White

Philology (wiki)

Dawkins atheism (wiki)

the rivers of mars theory (wiki)

Arthur Conan Doyle and the Cottingley Fairies (wiki, @antiquesfreaks also have an excellent episode about it here)

Ransom is based on Tolkien (wiki)

"I made you into a tree who never gets to the point," Treebeard (this post)

"drowned in moonlight strangled by their own bras"

Carrie Fisher (imdb)

This tumblr post about C. S. Lewis and whipping

The Long Way To A Small Planet, Becky Chambers

Children of Time, Children of Ruin, Adrian Tchaikovsky

The Poetic Edda

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

The Problem of Pain, C. S. Lewis

St Augustine (wiki)

Dorothy L Sayers on C. S. Lewis quotation: i have searched high and low for this, and despite reblogging it on my own tumblr at least twice i can't find it anywhere smh

The Church Fathers (wiki)

Irenaeus  (wiki)

The Demiurge (wiki)

Pelagius (wiki)

The Good Place (2016-2020)

Religion  and Rocketry, C. S. Lewis

Aldhelm (wiki)

De Virginitate (wiki)

Tatwine (wiki)

The conference M's talking about is the Cambridge Colloquium in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic, full programme here

"The Marvels of Grammar in Tatwine's Enigmata," Alexandra Zhirnova, paper given at CCASNC 2022

"Rejecting monstrosity in 'The Marvels of the East'", Catrin Haberfield, paper given at CCASNC 2022

opus geminatum - I couldn't find any handy non-paywalled explanations, but basically it's a literary work where the same material is covered twice, once in poetry and once in prose. Aldhelm's De Virginitate is an example, and Bede's metrical and prose Lives of Cuthbert can be (as far as I remember) considered as one also.

The Marvels of the East

The Beowulf manuscript, a.k.a The Nowell Codex, British Library MS Cotton Vitellius A. xv (British Library catalogue, wiki)

For more on the crucial question "can sheydim be Jewish?", listen to this episode of Throwing Sheyd

"Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." Possible Worlds, J. B. S. Haldane

Dracula, Bram Stoker

Mansplain, manipulate, malewife; gaslight gatekeep girlboss (meme)

Y Goddodin (wiki) - the edition M is thinking of is probably this one, but they wouldn't swear to it in a court of law.

Tradwife concept (wiki) e

Sisco vs Q (youtube)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999)

Star Trek: Voyager (1995-2001)

Cyrano de Bergerac, Edmond Rostand

The scene M is thinking of is Act III Scene XI.

Packing For Mars, Mary Roach

Bambi (1942)

Next Time On Teaching My Cat To Read

Abhorsen, Garth Nix

(ed. actually next time will be our first ever mini-episode, which will be on Pride and Prejudice - our Abhorsen episode will be released on the normal schedule after that)