#man i haven't gotten deep into meta since the last time i was into one piece

[mydetheturk]

man. im reading trimax and ive watched the 98 series and tristamp, and i gotta say two of the biggest themes I've come across in trigun are grief and hope. i gotta rewatch the 98 series to fully absorb it and and tristamp has Consumed Me, and its slow going on trimax, but those are the two big ones.

grief and hope and the intersection of the two

[mine-curse]

I uhh... lost my shit over this so uhh... I delt with my feelings by writing fanfiction, sorta. Its mostly just a drabble and half way to just being like, a summary meta post but 🤷‍♂️ Uhh also fair warning, I haven't written anything thats not a script in a while, and its been like 10 years since I really tried to write a fanfiction. Also misspelling and grammar errors incoming.

Uhh... cw for talk of death and imortality, aging and not, vague allusions to apathy towards death... nothing too serious, just like... thats what its about.

"Technoblade never dies."

The first time he heard those words were in hushed tones, rippling through a dingy tavern, flying with the rumors that the famed gladiator Technoblade would soon be visiting the local collisiem.

Ohkay, sure, what ever you say mate.

He couldn't help chuckling as he sipped his beer. He knew a thing or two about not dieing.

---

It was a blistering hot day as he settled in to a seat, high in the stands of the grand coliseum. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he'd happened to find himself staying in town a few extra days to see this supposedly invincible warrioir. The stands were packed and the excitement of the crowd was tangible.

The other combatants were introduced first. The announcer clearly saving the 'best' for last. The crowd going wild as Technoblade stepped onto the feild. He was a massive... man? Pigman? Towering over the other fighters. Wearing a thick red cloak, he must be sweltering in this heat.

The second the starting bell rang Technoblade moved, shockingly light on his feet. He dodged and countered with honed instinctual accuracy. He moved from one attack to another, one opponent to another, with frightening efficiency.

As the fight went on, the crowd became dominated by one single chant.

"Technoblade never dies!"

Somewhere, deep in Phil's mind. A tiny spark found some kindling.

is he..?

-----

Diamond blade met diamond blade as the two clashed. Blue eyes met blood red and somehow, it seemed neither could look away.

Is he?

He couldn't be.

Phil spread his wings, and, taking advantage of Technoblade's momentary shock at this revelation, broke the stalemate. leaping backwards, his opponent awkwardly lurching forward as he took to the sky. He looked down at the pigman, who was staring back up at him. Though they had broken apart, the stalemate continued. Technoblade probably could have thrown his sword and hit Philza. Philza could have drawn his bow, and taken a shot, taken out this unkillable foe. Technoblade never dies. Well, if that were true it would just be a waste of arrows to try.

-----

Its was another while before they met properly. How long, he couldn't quite be sure. But Technoblade looked no older than he had on that battle feild. So it probably hadn't been too long. Then again he wasn't exactly confident in his ability to judge how old a pigman was. This time they were on the same side. One of many two-person wrecking squads, sent behind enemy lines to do as much damage as possible.

"Bet we get way more kills than everybody else."

That was not empty confidence. "You think? There's supposed to be some strong people in this fight."

"Come on, you're Philza Minecraft, you actually know what you're doing! And I'm really good at stabbin' people."

He laughed, Phil chuckled along. "I'll just try to play support, scout and keep guys off you while you do your stabbing."

Technoblade gave a laugh, "Appriciate it," he clasped a clawed hand on Phil's shoulder, "We got this!"

--

Phil noticed, as they fought, Technoblade seemed to grow more used to having a partner. Stopped covering all sides with frenetic energy, and just let Phil cover his back, allowing him to focus on tearing through warrior after warrior. As they fought they laughed, setting off TNT, drawing opponents into traps. It was exhilarating, fighting with someone so powerful. Someone who was... like...

Me...?

-----

As time passed, Techno stayed the same, at least pysically. Same voice, same features, only more and more scars. But no matter how grievous the injuries that lead to those scars, it seemed nothing could truly harm him. He always made it out alive. The rumors and chants were true, Technoblade never dies. Together, they always made it out alive with a laugh.

He'd saved Phil's life on more than one occasion. A particularly nasty run in with a baby zombie had seemed to leave the unshakable Technoblade quite shaken. So Phil tried, tried to be a little more careful, at least for now, for Techno's sake.

-----

Philza would go off on his own for a while. Each time, dread would build for the inevitable moment he'd return and find his friend changed, grown in grey fur, developed that telltale rasp to his voice that signaled the inevitability of his mortality. Or maybe one day Phil would simply hear that he had already died, and that would be that. In some ways, he might prefer that. He wouldn't have to face... It. But Techno never changed, his voice stayed as full and booming as it ever was. He stayed as strong and graceful as the first day Phil had seen him.

Maybe it was just... less time had passed than he'd thought. His life had been a bit more eventful recently, mostly due to the time he spent with Techno. And that always had a way of slowing things down. Maybe pigmen, piglins (?) (he still wasn't sure), just aged much slower than humans. But maybe...

Is he...

Maybe it was better not to think about it too much. Yeah, better to just... enjoy his company, however long it lasted. Whether or not Technoblade would or would not never die was.. out of his hands anyways. Well, mostly. They kept fighting together, always watching each other's backs. He couldn't really say how much time had passed. He'd stopped bothering to keep track. It didn't really matter. They had somehow fallen in step with each other, and if that simply meant Phil was once again experiencing the flow of time as a mortal would, well, that was fine by him. But somewhere, deep in his mind, he had to hope, even if the fear of that hope being crushed kept him from finding the answer. Technoblade never dies. Maybe it was true. Maybe it could be...

Is he like me?

[crystallos-sol]

Hey have another meta on Gray & Natsu because I don't think I went deep enough.

Gray is traumatized and can't even voice his emotions sometimes. Natsu understands him WITHOUT any issues even during this time.

Don't believe me? Here look at this:

Natsu knows Gray just basically said:

" I care about you please take care of yourself "

I'm so emotional about these two because they are great and they understand each other on a deeper wavelength than I have ever seen within Fairy Tail.

I'll throw in multiple examples for you to compare but please come up with your own. Rewatch the show or Read the manga if you want to, there's so many examples that I cannot fit into one post so I have to suffer with a few. (Not including Happy has I think it's best to put people that aren't his kid,,,,)

First up: Lisanna.

I'm not hating on the ship at all. I'm picking people CLOSEST to Natsu & Gray. And she was essentially close to Natsu before her death. They raised Happy together and had a secret hideout for fucks sake.

Lisanna has I recall from the episodes we had of her, was close with Natsu. But something changed. Because her death hurt Natsu and changed him into a different person. That's clear to see. But her death drove a wedge between them and changed the entire relationship for good.

Lisanna was Natsu's friend, back before her death but however I believe that we do not know much of her outside of her death and how it affected Fairy Tail. We also do know about her Family and how it hurt them. But not about Lisanna, from what we can gather from the many episodes of Fairy Tail she is kind hearted and genuinely loves her family and doesn't want to lose them again. (Her reactions to her siblings being thrown into danger.)

But again her death drove fear and grief into Natsu and that's why him and Lisanna aren't exactly close anymore, because Natsu runs from his feelings. It's also hard to talk to someone you haven't seen since you where a teenager.

Up next who is/was close with Gray: Erza. We know Gray ran after her and helped to fix her tears, even making a child's promise about it. We also know, Gray was Erza's first real friend. Gray has a child was close with Erza in that regard. I do believe Erza shoved him away like she does with everything in response to what happened to her. (But that's a post for another time.)

Gray is still close with Erza, but due to Erza never feeling as if she can stop being Titania he is not as close to her as he is Natsu.

Lucy, who is one of Natsu's best friends, is actually close with Natsu. But unlike with Gray Natsu usually is (Ignoring Mashima's horrible writting between for now because that's a WHOLE OTHER issue) saving her or protecting her. At least it was like that until recently when Lucy finally got the character development and upgrade she deserves.

Lucy is close to Natsu but Natsu also doesn't want to lean on her. Yes you can qoute multiple instances and scenes where it appears he is leaning on her. But however with this you have to take into account the period of time Natsu has known her. The trust issues Natsu already has and previous trauma he has gotten and even new trauma!

Now it gets worse because this is dipping a little into Mashima's terrible characterization and understanding of how people function and feel. Especially women. Take Lisanna and Lucy, if you think about it they are essentially the same fucking character. Both are kind, stubborn, where hurt by someone they love, left their home behind for a number of years, painted has a badass while also simultaneously being soft and delicate.

Sound familar?

Because that's basically the Mashima guide to write a female character. Now what really gets me is the final thing that really cements it. They both have been/are in the supporting role for Natsu. Don't you dare go saying: But Lucy is the main character!

You, like the rest of is because Mashima wrote her like shit, didn't even know that until the interview or you saw that Fairy Tail fact post. The majority of us thought it was Natsu. Because in reality Mashima did NOT start writting her like a main character. He did not give her the good motivation every single damn Fairy Tail Character has.

Lucy & Lisanna have the same number of things that make up their characterization, and yes so do a number of Fairy Tail characters. But that's not the point. The point is that Lucy reminds Natsu of Lisanna in some ways and Natsu cannot bring himself to trust and lean on her fully like he can with Gray. It is not an attack on Nalu. Nalu is a fine ship if only written correctly (aka: Not Mashima's Version Which Is Horrible And Toxic But That's Another Meta For Another Time.).

This is a post about how Gray and Natsu are close. That's it. Natsu cannot bring himself to fully trust Lucy and lean on her comfortably without 1) forcing himself, 2) it happening outside of his control because of past trauma which by the way knowing Natsu he did not do anything about it and most likely bottled it up.

Wow that was a long session on Lucy but in summary: Natsu is traumatized and is not mentally healthy like the entirety of the Guild.

Now, the last one, which I'm sure you can GUESS. It's Juvia. Because some people think that Gray and Juvia are the " closest people! " And " he doesn't let anyone really touch him other than her! "

1) Bullshit. And 2) Bullshit. Here's why:

Juvia is a toxic character who stalks and uncomfortably idolizes Gray to the point it's fucking ridiculous. There are multiple scenes of her following (stalking) Gray around and being jealous of Lucy. Even declaring her a " Love Rival ".

This is probably because: Gray was the first person that was decent to her. (She was bullied for who knows how long and involved in a toxic guild + an abusive relationship.) Before you say shit about Gajeel: He's not nice. Gajeel before all of this, was an asshole, now he is nice which is pretty cool and a great character development. Back then? He was not nice.

Which brings me to Gray. Who even is okay with being stalked, being grabbed randomly and having someone so obsessed with you they made fucking dolls of you? No one. Before you argue: But he doesn't pull away from her!

Gray is most likely touch starved. Considering his entire background and general tendency to not receive hugs or any sort of affection usually. My evidence for this? Myself. I am touch starved and I often react bad to touches from strangers or creepy people but I also have a late reaction time. Because my body is saying: Oh touch???? And my brain is screaming: No.

He also could be trying to be decent. Which is all he did in the first place. He could be trying to not hurt her feelings and yes you could say he hurt Mira's feelings when he called her stupid for betting on Natsu but he also was apologising and panicky because he didn't want to hurt her.

Also if I even have to explain further why being stalked and basically turned into a fetish and an object is a bad thing then clearly something is fucking wrong with you.

Gray however feels safe likely with Natsu, who's been there from the beginning, took on Deliora, fought too many people just because one of his friends are in danger, has repeatedly stopped Gray from using Iced Shell and was ready to Die with him.

Natsu in return probably feels safe and like he can trust Gray to handle himself because this man has been there since day one and even can take Natsu himself on with no problem. Natsu also probably is happy Gray is nothing like Lisanna or Lucy. Because Gray is Gray and he doesn't remind Natsu of anything traumatizing he's been through.

They both trust one another and stay by one another's side because they are both understanding that they aren't gonna leave. Because think about it, Gray has lost family and his mentor to death. He has suffered through that. You wanna know who's constantly beating death on its ass???? Natsu " I refuse to die " Dragneel.

Natsu has lost family by being abandoned and by Death. He got it both ways and he's suffering because of it. But Gray who's stubborn has shit and stood death in the face at a young age and screamed fuck you at the top of his lungs, wouldn't leave. Gray who fucking went through hell and back, destoryed his own infiltration mission just because Natsu Dragneel rolled up, Keeps Trying To Protect Him, Never once wants to lose Natsu. And Natsu knows that. Because Gray is his constant. Gray is that constant presence in his life he knows for a fact he can trust.

But idfk that's just my thoughts on them.

[houseswolo]

Day 3 - 'Tis The Season To Be Thirsting

The reveals are running a couple days late thanks to our mods getting lost in finishing @nanowrimo (HUGE PROPS to everyone who participated!) - stick with us, we have some awesome people in store!

"Stand with me, Rey"

@my-jedi-life

(Twitter: @MyJediLife | Ao3: MyJediLife)

What got you into Star Wars?

I was 3 when I saw ANH at the drive in with my family. It's my earliest memory. Fast forward 40 years or so, when my best friend Jennifer decided we were watching SW together online. When I saw Adam's face, I was gone all over again... my obsession came roaring back.

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

Honestly... I think I became hardcore Reylo with the hand touch.

Why do you write / make art?

Because I have these idiots in my brain telling me to write their stories, and if I don't I may go insane.

The Object of your Thirst…

CLYDE LOGAN. (Or Adam Driver in all other forms)

Which Adam look do you like the best?

Umm.. his Clyde look. Long hair, scruff... goatee and stache.

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

It's me, people. Clyde Logan.

Which part of Adam do you like the best? 

His hair - NO - his lips - WAIT - his eyes... everything. I choose everything.

Favorite Star Wars Movie

The Last Jedi

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Reylogan. Soulmates is a close second.

Your TRoS Prediction

Bendemption by Kylo Ren dying to help get rid of Palpy, and being brought back by some very familiar Force Ghosts as Ben Solo... ending with him and Rey and a binary sunset.

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Angst, swirls of dark greens, purples and black.

If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?

Sweet & Nutty

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating? 

On my couch, headphones on and music cranked up high.

Are you a dom or sub? 

Sub?

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

In the back of a 1966 Volare in a state park.

What's your kink?

Adam Driver

Use three words to describe yourself.

Loyal, creative, loving

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

I am living my best Jedi life? I have no idea. It just sounded cool.

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

Little spoon.

Do you like it rough or soft? 

Both?

Favorite toy

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Favorite fic you read

Forbidden by koderenn, Cable Guy by littlemistake, LWABOC by diasterisms, Unravel Me by UnderTheCancerMoon

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

River Deep, Mountain High

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

From the EU: Jacen & Jaina Solo. Maz Kanata and the Mandalorian from Canon.

———

@thoseindarkness

(Twitter: @thoseindarkness | Ao3: thoseindarkness)

What got you into Star Wars?

My Mom when I was a baby, though TLJ brought me into the fandom and publishing fics.

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

All the amazing and detailed meta that I saw on Tumblr after TLJ. When I went for re-watches in the theater I wondered how I'd missed all those sexual overtones the first time around.

Why do you write / make art?

Because the voices in my head would drive me crazy if I didn't let them out to play.

The Object of your thirst...

Kylo Ren (in the mask), Ben Solo (out of it), Rey, Hux, Poe, Rose, Holdo. I'm an equal opportunity thirsty.

Which Adam look do you like the best?

That 70's running shoot he did. That's how I like him, lean and wiry, not buff. He's got a great build for it.

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Tie between Ben and Phillip Altman.

Which part of Adam do you like the best? 

The way his jowls wrinkle when he's emoting.

Favorite Star Wars Movie

Movie: Rogue One. Story: Rebels.

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

The real world in every messy, ugly, complicated detail. I think the idea of literature as pure escapism is flawed. I like to show the world as it is and then reveal the beauty in the imperfections. There cannot be light without darkness.

Your TRoS Prediction

I'm not getting my hopes up for anything and can't wait for it to be over. That's when the story group can have the reigns back and start pumping out all the stories that will backfill what really happened in the 30 years between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens. That's what I'm most looking forward to.

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

I think my username says it all. 😘

If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?

I don't know what it would be called, but it would have dark chocolate, Nutella and raspberry.

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating? 

At my desk at home, one of my comfy hoodies on, a cup of coffee, some good mood music, and a Reylo fic prompt.

Are you a dom or sub? 

Lifelong switch.

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

You're going to have to define exotic/weird. I've gotten intimate in semi-public and group settings. I once went through a tollbooth topless while being fondled. Does that count?

(HS: Hells yeah, that counts 😆)

What's your kink?

An inquisitive mind. Not kidding. That will turn me on faster than anything else could.

Use three words to describe yourself.

those in darkness

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

In high school I liked to come up with AIM screen names by creating these evocative incomplete sentences. Like quoting song lyrics without the songs. "thoseindarkness" was one of those names. I liked it so much I've kept it all these years and it's always been either a nerd or writing aligned username for me.

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

Lifelong switch.

Do you like it rough or soft? 

Yes, please.

Favorite toy

The goat 🐐

Favorite fic you read

Very tough call between Wanting by Minkel23, Score by SpaceWaffleHouseTM, and Requiem for a Monster by roane. They are all *very* different.

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

All the ones I haven't shared yet. Particularly the canon post-TRoS story I've been sitting on since TJL came out.

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Kanan mother fucking Jarrus! Since this is a thirst highlight I may as well tell you... I would do such naughty things to that man. Or have Hera do them for me. 🖤

———

Meet the other Thristies!

Thirst Order Advent Calendar Day:

1 | 2

cc: @tazwren @deadlikemoi @drnucleus @ashtyntaytertot @lostinqueue-ffa @my-jedi-life @shestoolazytologin @kaybohls @nite0wl29 @cosmo-gonika @wilsonthinks66 @roguesinside @areylofan @3todream3 @koderenn @queenoferebor @thereylowritingden @housedadam @house-crylo @houseplaidam