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#man that fur really took a lot of layers loll
arlenianchronicles · 2 years
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Húrin and eldritch Morgoth on Thangorodrim!
This is my first time designing the Valar for my eldritch AU, and the first to go was Morgoth loll I just couldn’t get this composition out of my head!
In my AU, the Valar have humanoid-based bodies, but with six arms and, er, wild masks. I’ve had Morgoth’s mask in my head for quite some time, but I wasn’t able to get close to my vision until now. It’s mostly based on the shadow beasts from LoZ: Twilight Princess. I initially imagined something like several face masks set together in a circle, but I think it’s cooler to have his be faceless, and maybe have vines/twisting thingies come out of the centre circle like tongues, all grabby-grabby XDD
While I’m at it, my idea for Grond was that it’d be made of this black rock with red veins travelling through it, so it gives it a bloody lava feel XDD  Also, Morgoth’s hands were burnt black by the Silmarils in the book, but I changed it to white so it’d be easier to see them.
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ashleyswrittenwords · 4 years
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How To Be A Queen [Part 9]
Summary: Princess Zelda is at a loss. Her handed royal responsibilities have begun to weigh heavily on her and she is eventually backed into a corner. Live a life she loathes or run away from everything she’s ever known? Navigating life is hard, and Link forces her to learn that she doesn’t have to do it alone.
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Part 1
How To Be A Queen
I woke up to an intense light in my eyes. I tried squeezing them shut and burying my nose into the warm coat in a lame attempt to will myself back into a state of sleepiness. The fur ticked my nose and I sat up to stifle a sneeze. The air was crisp and dry, making my throat scratchy. I pulled the coat up with me, making sure it was tight around my shoulders before placing my feet on the floorboards. A chill seeped into my socks; it was a strange feeling. I tucked my chin into the fur and peeked out of the window.
Light bounced off a fresh snow. It looked perfect. I looked across the way at a man who was knocking ice sickles off a building's gutters. The sign let me know it was an inn. He smiled below where I was and I noticed Anju running over with barely anything to protect her from the weather. She handed him something and they laughed together. I smiled unconsciously as she ran back into her parent's house with a flustered expression.
I still struggled with the laces of my bodice and scorned myself. I had every opportunity to have Impa teach me just the day before. Someone bounded up the stairs and harshly whispered in the hallway, there were whispers back and I decided to open the door, "Anju?"
It was like I was catching children stealing food from the kitchen.
Anju stood by the stairs while, from what I assumed were her parents, stood right across the hall. They looked at me with wide eyes and Anju stared at her parents accusatorily. I looked between them, trying to decide if I should close the door. "I'm so sorry. My parents are being creepy," Anju again gave emphasis towards the couple. They looked meekly at me and I offered an awkward smile.
"We were just wondering if she'd like to join us for breakfast, Anju! No need for theatrics," her father started. I noticed where she got her observant eyes.
Anju shook her head, "No, we're going to the Foresters."
Anju's mother noticeably pouted and I smiled, "I don't think I've properly introduced myself. My name is Zelda. Thank you so much for allowing me into your home." I swallowed; my throat was drier than I thought. Regardless I reached out my hand. Anju's mother seemed to hesitate, but her Father took my hand with earnest. He had a strong grip, "Nonsense. We're honored to have you, Princess. I am Rourke Harper and this is my wife Sharla. I am sure you've met my daughter."
I reciprocated his broad smile, "Ah, Zelda. I insist, Mister and Misses Harper. Anju and I have been acquainted for the last couple years, I've been very blessed with her assistance." In my tiredness, I defaulted back to my sharper accent without completely noticing. Sharla looked stunned for a moment before grabbing my hand.
"Well, Zelda, you must stay here for the duration that you are here just for putting up with our Anju for so long."
Anju huffed, "Mum!"
"I truly appreciate it. Anju mentioned you were the tailor around here?" I asked, Mrs. Harper stood proudly. "That is I. I've been studying royal tailoring for years."
My cheeks warmed, "Could I be so bold to ask you to teach me how to lace bodices?"
Once that was said and done, the Harpers wouldn't allow me to venture out without a cup of tea. I happily obliged, they were a delight to talk to and it was still fairly early in the morning – not yet the seventh hour. We discussed what I knew of tailoring and I was surprised to know she had already knew of the stitching of my gown. Apparently Anju had a relative who worked for Mrs. Bea, who in turn was a rather impressive woman in the world of tailoring.
"How is she?" Sharla had asked.
My tongue spoke faster than my mind, "Barely tolerable."
Then, there was a bout of gossiping that I pleasantly was able to take part in. We spoke about midwinter and the festivities in Hateno. Like Kakariko, they extended for days. Approximately two weeks. The first start was when the Solstice Ball occurred at the castle. From what the Harpers recount, midwinter is a small part of the agenda of the castle whereas everywhere else the villages are isolated from the busy life of Castletown. For generations, the majority of villages dealt with the time of crop hibernation with festivities. It brought values back towards family and the goddesses. Sharla reached out and pleaded to dress me for the upcoming festival. "It'll be fantastic! Gorgeous!"
Finally, Anju and I left with warm bellies. I wore Link's coat. I kept my thoughts from having to part with the extra layer once we got there. It was all too upsetting for whatever reason. The snow crunched under my feet and people were just rousing awake.
"I'm sorry my mother's overbearingness," Anju kicked at a ball of ice. I glanced at the ribbons and moon-shaped flags that hung around. "It's alright. They seem charming. I rather liked them."
"Really? You have weird taste."
I snorted, "I'd much prefer your mother over Mrs. Bea."
Anju laughed at my displeased tone, "Will you really be here for the festival? Not that I'm telling you to leave, my mother would kick me. How long are you planning to stay?"
I shrugged, lolling my head to the side to grin at her, "As long as you'll let me. Besides, I'm sure Link would like some time with his family. It's difficult to recall the last time he's been on leave."
"Last spring."
"Oh, Anju, I am the worst."
"Shush, you're overthinking it. He goes home more than most."
His house came upon us quickly and we shrugged our coats off when we entered. The sent of pan-fried meat hit my nose and my stomach growled in response. A fire blazed in the corner. I smiled at Aryll who leapt from her seat, "We were just talking about you!"
"Me?" I asked. I hugged her and peered over her shoulder at her brother, who leaned against the counter. He looked back. His hair was tussled, not unlike the night before, and he looked positively tired. Goddesses, he made nonchalant look sexy.
I blamed my heated cheeks on the receding cold and looked away sharply.
"Are you getting sick?" Aryll sounded concerned,
"No. I don't think so."
"Oh, dear. Did I forget to give you extra blankets?" Anju frowned.
"It's alright! I managed, I'm completely fine," I tried to look confident and already mourned the coat's absence. That stupid coat.
Link's aunt turned to us from the stove, "Come get something to eat, you two. We're making extras. If you don't grab it now, Link will probably eat it."
I laughed and grabbed the plate that Aryll handed to me. I enjoyed the openness of the house. The kitchen wasn't walled off from the rest, instead it was an open space where dining and living area split the room. I helped myself to the eggs, bacon, and sausage. It had been a while since I was able to eat like this.
"How did you sleep?" Link asked as I sat at the table. His voice was scratchy.
"I slept well!" I said, taking a sip of tea that was offered, "A little cold, but we can't help that."
Anju shot me an apologetic look. I almost felt bad for saying it.
"How about you?"
"Oh, he's super hung over," Aryll blared out, setting her own plate down across from us. Link winced at her comment, "Can you be any louder?"
"Yes, You know that."
"Unfortunately," he turned to me while stealing a piece of bacon from his sister, "Have you seen my coat by the way?"
"You need to stop hanging out with those boys, Link," Anju spoke up, "They make you drink too much."
"Is Kafei much better?"
Anju looked flustered, "Whatever. You missed him yesterday and he's mad at you."
Link scoffed, "He'll come around eventually. I can't avoid him."
He looked back at me expectantly. It made a little bit of sense now. "You don't remember giving it to me last night? It's on the coat rack now."
Link looked at me for a beat longer before turning away with a shy smile, "No, actually."
That makes a lot of sense.
The situation from the night before wasn't elaborated on. Anju and Aryll shared resolves from across the table, making me wonder what their unsaid exchange was about. It would be a lie if I said I was completely in the dark about it. The rest of breakfast was largely uneventful. Aryll invited me out to ice skating in the evening and Malon had come by with my original coat. After that, we went off to shop.
"Link, you don't have to come along," Malon said, noticing the dark bags under his eyes. She looked gorgeous again today. Her skirts matched the deep auburn of her hair and even through the layers of fabric you could tell she had curves. Link said something as a reply, but I wasn't paying much attention. I looked down at myself and thought I had the same appearance as a box.
I noticed Link and I trailed behind.
"How have they been?" He was smiling at his sister who had already pointed out the Harpers tailoring shop. Anju groaned in opposition, but it looked like the group was steering that way anyway.
"I love them," I said, without really thinking. "I-I mean, I've never had friends like this. Maybe it's too soon to call them friends, but I like their company very much." I spoke the latter part quickly in an attempt to save face. My face flushed.
"I think they regard you as a friend already. Aryll has never been a stranger to anyone, but she's sure taken a liking for you."
I smiled widely and my heart warmed to the statement. "Thank you."
Link stopped and patted his pockets as if forgetting something. "I actually," he stopped, pulling a pouch out, "have a bastard to meet, so I'll have to leave you."
I took it. The weight told me it was coins and I blinked. I don't remember ever actually spending money before. Link looked across the way at the inn and I noticed a man peeking out of the window. He looked… angry? The man didn't shy away despite the staring contest now going on.
"I suppose I'll leave you to it, then," I realized something, "Oh, Link before you go I wanted to ask you something."
He turned back and waited without a question. A weird feeling of being back at the castle and his stoic expression. Why did he make me feel like that? I pulled at my fingers. "Would you mind if we stayed for a few more days?"
Link didn't say anything, just smiled. A cart rolled passed us. Then, he laughed. It was low, as if supposed to be private.
"What?" I said, embarrassed.
"Nothing, it's just," he chuckled again.
"What?" I kicked snow in his direction.
"Of course I wouldn't mind," he stuffed his hands in his coat pockets, "So, after the festival?"
"Yes. I don't believe I'll be giving a speech then," I laughed lightly. I really wanted to go. I glanced back at where our group left us. Link's eyes told me he understood.
"You absolute bastard!" A voice rang out behind Link who stiffened and cursed under his breath. "First you don't tell me you're coming home, then you go out drinking with the bloody Ratliff brothers? Of all people in this town, it had to be my sworn enemies."
The same man I saw this morning bounded down the inn steps.
"-and the worst of all you stand outside my business and flirt with a random girl. When you know I'm there too!"
Link tried reasoning, "Kafei, listen, I'm sorry."
"Oh, so now you're sorry!" He threw his hands up in the air. I took that as my cue to leave, slipping into the tailoring shop to find the girls peaking out the window at the showdown happening. I found Aryll thumbing through a rack of sample gowns with Mrs. Harper, who waved me in with a smile.
"I don't think purple is my color, Sharla. I wore it last Spring and I felt like a little girl," Aryll said without bothering to look up. She moved on to the next, "I think green is my color this season."
"Darling, you look stunning in every color," Sharla replied with a smile.
"I'll have to buy every dress if you keep that up, Mrs. Harper."
They laughed together and I looked through a pile of fabric that Sharla Harper had directed me to. She was very adamant to make a dress for me despite the short period of time we had. It was flattering but I also felt guilty. Malon strode over with some ribbons in her hands and asked my opinion.
"I like the red one, but the white also seems pretty," she said, weighing her options.
"The red compliments your eyes," I thought for a moment, "but the white contrasts your skin beautifully." Malon smiled brightly, "I will need to get them both, then!"
She hung around with me and felt the fabric, "I like the pink." She was referring to a light blush pink satin fabric I had been looking at. It reflected the light, causing a subtle shine and I hummed in agreement, "It does look rather pretty."
"It would look stunning on you."
I looked up at her in surprise and blinked, not really knowing what to say. "Thank you! Although, I do think it would look better on you. It would complement the ribbons beautifully." She sounded so genuine.
"Oh, no," she started, swatting the comment away, "I suppose it would look nice with the red. However, I really think you would catch any man's eye in a nice gown in that color."
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, instead I smiled out of a lack of words.
Malon pursed her lips and glanced around the room nonchalantly, "Or maybe one pair of eyes."
I put down the fabric and pushed a strand of hair from my eyes. A flush crept up my neck. "Whatever are you talking about, Malon?"
"Oh, come on girl! I could see what was going on between you and Link today," her smile was sly and suggestive.
"I don't – That's preposterous. There's nothing between us," I sputtered and laughed nervously, shaking my head. Malon still didn't know what my title was – if I even had one in the first place. And she certainly didn't know who Link was to me. I covered my mouth, hoping to distract her from the redness of my face.
Who was Link to me?
Again, I shook my head and repeated what I said before with assurance, "There's nothing between us."
"Zelda," her tone was hard and I was forced to face her. "I've known Link for most of his life. He's never looked at someone like he's looked at you."
I tried to wipe my clammy hands on my skirt without her noticing. Why was I so nervous? My heart pounded heavily in my chest. I told myself that her assumptions were based on things she didn't know. "I'm not too sure."
"Do you not feel that way towards him?" She looked expectant, but gentle. I peered around the room and heard the rest of our group pursuing the back room. It was as if Malon planned out this conversation.
Our first night under the stars when he talked about his sister. The way his smile reached his eyes when he told me about her. When we started our mornings with silence that felt so comfortable I thought I had known him for all my life. Link caused so much happiness for me and I doubted he knew the extent of it. I had met many men who wanted to be in my life and wanted something in return. Link was, well, different. He was exciting and never asked anything of me. But there was another side of me that knew there was an unspoken dynamic that set us apart. We came from completely different worlds. I would always be reminded of that. I felt cornered, so I swallowed my pride and told her the truth.
"I don't know."
Malon looked at me for a long moment, softening her features. I've never been good at hiding my emotions. My voice was thick and I was sure my thoughts reflected on my face.
"Are you okay?" She touched my shoulder with her hand and squeezed.
"If I'm honest with you, Malon. I've never felt so unsure and it frightens me."
Mrs. Harper walked in with two bunches of fabric and didn't bother to look up. She spoke, "Did you find a fabric you liked, love?"
Malon took a step back and I coughed, hoping to clear my voice from emotion. "Yes, actually!" I took the bolt of cloth from the shelf and held it up.
"You have a good eye, I do believe I got that from a Zora trader," she smiled brightly at me and took the roll from me. The next hour was filled with measuring and planning. I insisted on a simple gown and Anju's mother reluctantly agreed under the conditions that'd she'd embellish anywhere else. Overall, I left the modest tailor shop with a smile, but not without a bit of heartache.
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bones-and-tomes · 6 years
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Nightmare Part 2
(The egos discuss what happened in part one)
“I just don’t get it.” Dr. Iplier muttered as he leaned across the kitchen isle, “Has anyone seen him like that before?”
After being locked out of Dark’s room, the egos tried to persuade the demon to reopen the door for hour or so before giving up. Now they were all, with the exception of the Jim twins, King, and Yan who had all been sent to bed, congregated in the kitchen.
“Anyone? Anyone have any clue?” The doctor’s voice rose an octave as he looked around at the others. All of them were carefully keeping their eyes lowered, some instead becoming far too interested in their drinks. With a growl, the Doctor slapped his hands on tables surface, “Christ! I thought we were supposed to be a family. How in God’s name do none of us have a clue?”
Ed Edgar rubbed his hands over his eyes, “Doc, give us some slack. That man has more secrets than a dog has fleas.” He moved his hands down his face before he locked his arms firmly over his chest, “Besides, you have no more a clue than us, so don’t go be getting high and mighty.”
A few egos nodded at that, but most looked just too frazzled to really have much to say.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He just didn’t know what to do. He was a doctor, more than that he was an ego that was a doctor, a being literally created to want to help people. Right now though, he had no clue how to. “But not even you Host? You know everything. And you, Warfstache, you and him have been around for about the same amount of time. You have to have some clue.”
The Host, who had been entirely silent until this point, clinched his hand around his glass, “The Host tells Dr. Iplier that there are some things he does not look into, and in other cases, things The Host avoids entirely.” He moved his drink to his lips and took a sip, “The Host informs the doctor that Darkiplier is a man of power, who has many layers. The Host learned long ago not to look where he was not wanted.”
So that meant The Host had tried to take a peek at Dark’s back story, and had been shut down in a major way by the demon.
Everyone now shifted their attention to Wilford, who unlike the rest of them, who had huddled together, seated himself away from the group. He sat in the window stile, staring out into the night, seeming almost oblivious to the conversation going on around him.
“Wilford. We are awaiting your explanation.” Google’s eyes were focused intently upon the man, “You are acting uncharacteristically silent. This implies you have more information than you have previously let on. It would be in your best interest to impart this knowledge.”
Wilford let out a chuckle, lolling his head towards the other egos, and locked eyes with Google, “Try to sweet talk it out of me, why don’t you?”
“So, you admit that you do know something.”
With a sigh, the pink ego stood and brushed his cloths clean of non-existent dirt, “No Googs. I don’t.” He shifted his gaze to the doctor now, and Dr. Iplier was struck with just how tired the normally inexhaustible man looked, “Doctor, you know how mixed up I am upstairs. Some days I wake up and don’t know my own name.” 
Wilford closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead before giving it a few resounding smacks, “I know I should know, I know it’s important. I know it is. I know it is.” He opened eyes again and scanned the other egos faces. “But I can’t. I can’t remember, I just can’t.”
Almost everyone in the room seemed to slump a little father into their seats. Bim smiled wanly, trying to reassure the older ego, “It’s alright Wil. We all know you’re trying.”
Wilford nodded quickly, and turned as if to leave. Before he could get very far though Google asked a question that stopped him in his tracks.
“One more inquiry. Do you know anything of Evelyn?”
Wilford seemed almost frozen for a moment, like someone had paralyzed him. Stiffly he turned back to face Google with an intensity that had been missing before, and he tone was filled with something that almost sounded like pride, “She’s perfect. She’s the most perfect thing in the world.” He blinked a few times and seemed to come to a shuddering halt. Wilford grit his teeth, his face scrunched up tightly, as he lay a few more blows to his temple with the palm of his hand.
Wilford’s words came out almost franticly, “That’s all I’ve got, that’s all I have of her. I just can’t think.”
Dr. Iplier let out a sigh through his nose. So, much for that. “Thank you, Wilford. You’ve done marvelously.”
The oldest ego smiled briefly, “Thanks Doctor.” He straightened himself, and glanced at a clock eyes widening, “My, My! Its almost three thirty, if I want to get any rest I ought to be going now.” His eyes reglazed into their usual madness. “I have a lot of interviews in the morning gentlemen. Might even have snagged one with the Easter Bunny.”
Silver Shepheard, who was laying his head on the table, grumbled, “Very nice Wil, we’re sure it’ll turn out amazing for you. You do always know best.” Shepheard over his years as a superhero had learned exactly how to placate the criminally insane, or so he said. Dr. Iplier had a sinking suspicion he just had a soft spot for the pink mad man.
As expected Warfstache preened at the complement, “Ahhh, Shep, you always know just what to say to a guy.” He grinned madly at all of them before skipping down the hall, and disappearing.
“Was it wise to let him leave? Even if he is having difficulties remembering he does hold our answers.”
Dr. Iplier looked over at Google, “You know as well as I do we wouldn’t have gotten anything out of him. His semi-lucid moment was over.”
Google stared at him for a few moments, before giving a brief nod, “You are correct. I simply wish he had been able to give us answers.”
“He did give us answers.”
Everyone’s head swung to stare at Ed Edgar who watched them as he picked at his teeth. He looked at each of them in turn, before letting out a deep sigh, “Ah, come on folks. I can’t be the only one that saw it.” When he received only blank looks, he let out a laugh, “Boy, it sure does feel nice to be the smartest one in the room for once. If you know what I mean.”
Google narrowed his eyes, “Then by all means Edgar enlighten us.”
Ed instead of fallowing Googles command, seemed to try and sook up a few more moments, of having figured out something before the others, “Why don’t you figure it out? Ya’ll are so much smarter than me, I’m sure you will figure it out soon enough.” He placed his hands behind his head, gloating to himself over this achievement.
“The Host reminds Ed Edgar that this is not a game that he has won. The Host further reminds Ed Edgar that whatever he has learned is potentially important to maintaining Darkiplier’s mental health.”
Ed’s grin melted of his face, “Shit. You’re right Host. Sorry about that. I got caught up in the moment and forgot the big picture.” After a moment, Ed leaned forward and spoke clearly, making sure every ego in the room would hear him, “When Googs asked him about that Evelyn girl, we were clued in on part of who she was. The only time a man talks that way about a girl is when he’s talking about his own flesh and blood. Whoever the Evelyn girl was, I know for sure she was Wilford’s daughter.”
Shocked silence rang throughout the room, and with Shepherd’s cry of, “What?!” The room broke down into complete madness. Accusations were being thrown left and right, voices laying over each other till they reached such a tremendous volume Dr. Iplier was nearly certain that the human world could hear them.
He had had enough of it all most immediately. The Doctor slammed his hands down on the table, “Quite!” in an instant the room had fallen silent again, as the doctor voice reverberated around the room. Dr. Iplier waited for each ego to turn their full attention to him before he spoke, “Thank you. Now Ed, please explain further. As you can see we are all quite confused.”
Ed nodded, “Well as most of you know, I’m in the business of children,” several egos shifted uncomfortably at that, “And by default that means I’m in the business of parents. I hear how they talk about each other nearly every day of my life. On top of that. . . I’m a father. Even if my son and I think pretty poorly of each other now days, I’m still his father. And as a father, I know how another Father sounds when he talks about his child.”
Silence fell across the room again, Google this time, sounding almost hesitant broke the silence, “Wilford Warfstache is well known for his sexual promiscuity. It is likely . . . that one of these encounters could have resulted in a child.”
Bim wrung his hands slightly, wetting his lips, “Okay let’s say that’s true. Let’s say Wil does have a daughter, why did Dark wake up at one thirty in the morning screaming her name? That doesn’t make since. Right? It doesn’t, right?”
“Maybe Dark had a thing with the kid.” Silver suggested, even though he said the words as if they tasted funny, “Maybe he and Evelyn had an affair . . . Wilford didn’t like it . . . and she got killed somehow.”
Ed considered this for a moment, “That would explain the tension between the two of them. I know I’d never be relaxed around a man getting it off with my baby girl. Especially if he got her killed.”
Google pursed his lips into a thin line with his brows furred. Dr. Iplier could practically see the gears turning in his head, “With our knowledge of Darkiplier this does not seem likely.” Bim nodded immediately, looking relieved someone shared his view.
“I agree with Google. I cannot picture Dark ever getting involved in something like that.” Bim bit his lip, shooting a nervous look down the hall that lead to the bedrooms, “Also all we really heard through the door was the name Evelyn, and that’s not much to go off of. I just think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Besides did you see Dark’s face? He- he was crying, and he looked so lost.” Bim shuffled in his seat and he ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t think a love affair would make him look like that. I just don’t.”
Ed threw his hands in the air, “Well do you have any other ideas?”, when no one spoke up Ed continued, “Then shut your mouth. At least we’ve made some progress in figuring this out. What do you say tomorrow we poke around the bush, and see what we get? Maybe if we give Dark the hint we know his dirty laundry, he’ll tell us something more concrete.”
And with that final comment, Dr. Iplier already knew tomorrow would be a horrible day.
Part 1 here https://bones-and-tomes.tumblr.com/post/170385120203/nightmare-celine-wakes-in-the-night-to-her-baby
Part 3 https://bones-and-tomes.tumblr.com/post/170417948348/nightmare-part-3-the-next-morning-it-was-difficult
Part 4 https://bones-and-tomes.tumblr.com/post/170455614303/nightmare-part-4-dr-iplier-was-thankful-his-small
Part 5 https://bones-and-tomes.tumblr.com/post/170498914423/nightmare-part-5-for-the-first-time-in-his
Part 5 1/2
https://bones-and-tomes.tumblr.com/post/170650199613/nightmare-part-5-½-dinner-was-much-quieter-than
Part 6 https://bones-and-tomes.tumblr.com/post/170663439958/nightmare-part-6-dark-woke-to-the-sound-of
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anxietysraptor · 6 years
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Adam Driver x Reader
Ok... This is the first thing I’ve written... in forever.... This is based off a stupid dream I had. I couldn’t sleep and started writing it in my head so... I just decided to get up and actually write it?? Sets up for more... 
Also this is based off my use of my PSD for my CPTSD so... Yeah.
Rating for this chapter: E for everyone... its... just like... fluff? Drabble? Fuck if I know... But Warning, does describe panic attacks.
 Reader has a panic disorder. Works on a film set. Adams nice. Thats... about it? Sets up for more? This is literally just me word vomiting. I’m so sorry.
Chapter: 1/???????????
You woke with a start, breath coming in frantic gasps, heart hammering painfully against your ribs, and covered in a cold layer of sweat. Fear, all encompassing terror covered your thoughts, filled your body, and on the edge of your thoughts, something cold, yet warm pushing at your hand. Instinctively your hand yanked away from the touch, brain screaming danger, and your eye lids flew open to face the waiting monster.
But there was no monster. Big dark eyes stared out from a golden face, etched with subtleties of concern. Whimpering he stepped closer, weight sagging the mattress. Not a monster, a friend. Brisingr, your loyal companion, your helper, your dog, your service animal. He'd roused you from your nightmare, and slowly pulled you into reality.
Shaking fingers reached out to run through his golden coat, feeling his warmth, his realness. Solid, there, safe, no monsters, no danger. Gingerly laying down beside you the large golden retriever pressed his weight into your side and draped his head across your hip. Easy as breathing your arms wrapped around him, spooning your one life line, clutching tight to his fur as you rode out the rest of your trembling panic.
Its unclear how long you laid there, letting the buzzing beneath your skin quiet, heart to calm, and breathing to even. It was still, well as dark as it can be in the city. The light peaking into your trailer was man made, that of street lamps, not dawn. How early is it, you think curiously, skimming your fingers along the sheets, trying not to disturb your snoring companion. Finding your phone you brought it closer and turned it on. Peering at the painful light you manage to read, 4:54 AM.
Too early... Another 2 hours before you needed to do anything, to even start preparing for the day, but... Sleep wasn't an option... By the time you'd manage to drift away it would be time to get up. An entirely unsatisfying option. Today's going to be... Rough.
“All right,” you sighed patting the dog at your side. His tail thumped let you knew he was awake, “lets get up.”
At that Brisingr catapulted himself off the bed, you could hear him run to the trailer door. With a series of groans you managed to wrestle yourself out of the warm embrace of your bed and into a vertical position. Grabbing a jacket and stepping into some soft slippers you found your companion waiting not to patiently at the door, tongue lolling and tail wagging. You can't help but smile at his enthusiasm.
“Back,” with the command and a sweep of your hand the retriever pranced back, letting you get to the door, open it to the cool morning air and step out.
“Here,” whispering the words once you had stepped out the dog happily jumped from the trailer, skipping the steps and landing on the black top before circling back to your side, nearly jumping with anticipation. “Sshh,” you whisper to keep him from barking, glancing to the other trailers around you, dark and filled with sleeping actors.
Quickly grabbing a leash and ball from a side cuby by your door and shoving them in your pockets you then gingerly eased the door shut, quietly and softly as possibly, desperately hoping you didn't disturb any of your co-works.
Giving your hip a pat, Brisingr fell into an easy heel as you both made your way through the enclosed lot to a strip of grass, nearly all the way on the other side of the studio. By the time you both made it you were fully awake, breathing in the crisp air, and listening to the faint humm of far off traffic.
“Go potty,” whispering the release your service dog bounded off into the grass, sniffing and looking for a place to do his business.
Fingers running over the phone in your pocket you thought to check social media while waiting, when a sound chilled your blood. The smack of shoes on concrete, someone running. Running... where? Why? At her? Coming to get her? Away? Away from what? Danger? Your body began to shake, all feeling but terror draining from it.
Barely managing to think you take measured breaths, forcing them to be slow, even if they are shaky. A weak snap and Brisingr is at your side, nosing your thigh demanding. Kneeling down, nearly falling to your knees your friend moves between you and the sound, the figure you can slowly see coming into view around the studio. Fingers dig into fur, shaking, hiding behind your living barrier, wide eyes glued to the stranger.
Though... The longer you watch, the closer they get, the more you see, the more you recognize. Wavy longish hair, tall, broad frame, nose, lips, Adam. The breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding flew from your lips as your knees hit the concrete. Leaning your forehead against your friends side the panic slowly subsided.  Not danger, not a stranger, Adam, a friend, a co-worker. You're safe, its ok. You tell yourself letting your heart rate slow. You knew this day would be hard.
“Oh, hey [y/n].”
Voice suddenly so close you instinctively flinched back, pulling Brisingr with you causing the canine to stumble a bit before righting himself. Cold nose at your ear the dog gave a soft lick, sniffing at you. “Sorry, I- I didn't mean to startle you,” Adams deep voice came quickly, soft and measured.
Fuck.
“No, no, its ok, really, its alright, I'm ok,” you breathed, looking up at the man and forcing a smile. Easy, rehearsed words you've said a thousand times meant to comfort. Seeing the tall man, hands up, posture small, ready to take a step back hurt, it cut deep. You knew he was trying to help, trying to offer space, and be non threatening, but... it made you only feel like something dangerous, a bomb ready to explode.
Getting to your feet without appearing to struggle was very difficult, but you managed it, shoving one shaking hand into your pocket, and laying the other on your companions warm head. Looking from you to the man Brisingr whispered a whine. He'd always loved Adam.
“Hey buddy,” the man responded giving your service dog a smile before glancing at you with questioning eyes.
“Go say hi,” you murmured with a smile, a release for both the dog and the human.
Kneeling down Adam was bombarded by kisses from a squirming wagging, one hundred pound ball of fur. “Good mornin to you too!” Adam chuckled, voice hushed in the morning air.
You couldn't help but chuckle and smile at the sight of the two of them. So sweet, so happy.
“...On a uh.. Morning run?” You ask, shifting your weight, trying not to feel awkward in the silence as your co worker gave your dog the love he was demanding.
“Heh, yeah... every morning. Its uh... an old military habit. Wakes me up.”
Giving an understanding nod you glance away from him, not sure what else to say... Why did you always have to be so awkward?
“I've never seen you two up this early?”
“Oh... yeah, Brisingr had to go potty.”
An easy lie. He didn't need to be bothered with the truth of your morning... No one did.
Chuckling Adam gave the dog a good rub before straightening up, but the canine was having none of that, jumping up and down and prancing around the man as excited as any puppy.  Adam chuckled, smiling wide at the animals antics.
“Wanna take him on your run? I'll start coffee?” The offer fell off your tongue without thought. Asking someone else to exercise your dog? Stupid! … But they both seemed to enjoy one another... and it wasn't like he wasn't already running...
“Sure! Do you have a leash?” Adam asked brown eyes bright as he looked at you smiling, still trying to ward off the jumping dog.
“Oh, yeah, here,” reaching into your pocket you pulled out the leash and hand it over which Adam easily clicked onto the retrievers collar.
“See you in your trailer?” Adam asked.
You give a smile and nod.
With that the man and canine took off on their jog, Brisingrs tail wagging ad Adam easily holding the leash while you meandered toward your trailer, hoping Adam liked his coffee strong...
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