#man that pandemic really fucked us all up

[fly-sky-high-09]

Man today sure is something

[sweetnans]

Stuck in the moment || Bakugo, K.

Pairing: fuckboy Bakugo/hopelessly romantic fem. reader

Trope: Enemies/friends to lovers.

summary: You made a mistake, a huge mistake. You fucked the most cocky, annoying, bastard, fuckboy you knew. Bakugo Katsuki. And that fact was against all your beliefs. Now, after the rumor (truth) spread like a pandemic virus in college you'll have to live with the stormy consequences of your acts and whatever trash was brought with it.

a/c: Hey, it's me again. Here we are in a new series I plan to continue. I really hope you enjoy it. I put my favorite man in action (bakugo) being a selfish bastard that you would love eventually and I couldn't help to put another "trope" I'm a sucker for (guardian/father figure Aizawa) I'm so sorry if that bothers you. Once again, I'm sorry if I misspelled something, English is not my first language. (Not proofread yet)

Pt.2 Pt.3 ♡

m.list

Blame it on the ovulation process. You couldn't believe that you ended up making out (drunkly) and fucking the one and only Bakugo Katsuki.

Bakugo was a total pain in the ass back in UA high school, and after the big battle, when the doctor told him to cooperate after his heart injury and surgery, he changed for better. Well... better is a word to describe it.

He had the looks, he had the attitude, and now, in College UA, he found a way to get the chicks at his feet. Who knew he would be good at flirting and getting the female attention, putting aside his obnoxious and loud behavior?

In the other part, you knew better, but damn, now you felt bad, betrayed by your own hormones, doing the walk of shame to your room.

Bakugo Katsuki was a fucking legend in college, the major fuckboy, hoping from chick to chick and jeez that broke all your standards about boys, how did you even end up in his room?

Oh, that was a good question that you could answer. Fucking cosmopolitans made by Denki and Jirou, they wrecked all your senses and because the planets were aligned you ended ip tearing up all his clothes along with him grabbing every part of your body while eating your mouth. He was a good kisser though.

You slid your keys on the lock of your room door. Jirou was there in her bed, laying with Denki who was sound asleep.

"Girl," she sat in seconds at the sight of you, patting Denki's arm to wake him up.

"Don't," you told her, completely defeated. "I just wanna cry"

You couldn't stop the tears streaming down your face.

For you, giving Bakugo your body and an intimate moment wasn't something to be happy for. He wasn't in your to-do list compared to other girls that you knew were dying for a peak of him.

You believed in love, in the vulnerability that it brought alongside the happiness and the sappiness. You wanted to be loved and not be used. For you, Bakugo wasn't a trophy, he was a mistake.

"Just let it go." Jirou hugged you tightly. "Did he do something to you?"

"No, no," you cried in her shoulder, feeling her arms around your body and Denki cli ging in your back. "He was a complete gentleman,"

You hated yourself for reacting like that. The man gave you all of his stamina pounding himself into you, and he was almost romantic about it. You were a fool, not like you were catching feeling upon the act, not at all. You just didn't want to be one more of his long ass list.

You had a single rule. Don't sleep with people you don't have feelings for. You knew that for some people, it was easy not to get attached but for you, even if you didn't feel anything like sentimental after the act you ended up craving the affection and the tenderness that came up with a relationship.

You've slept with boyfriends in the past and you did good with friends with benefits because at least there was a friendship to cling on, in this case, you only knew Bakugo by name and because Denki, your bestfriend's and roommate's boyfriend hangout occasionally with his group.

"I'll avoid him," you told your friends. "And everything's going to be fine"

You dried your tears and excused yourself, gathering your belongings to go and take a shower. You could still feel his scent in your skin.

Walking to the common woman bathroom, you tried to block the memories in your mind, and it worked until you opened the door.

"Hey," the pink girl greeted while putting on make-up in front of the mirror. "Oh my god, I know you, you are the girl from the party last night, right?"

Mina Ashido, one of Bakugo closest friend.

"Yeah," you tried to smile, but you failed. God wasn't on your side today.

"Are you okay?" She asked worried.

What could have given you away? Oh, your swollen and red eyes for sure.

"Yeah, I'm just hungover." You tried to laugh her worry away, and when Jirou asked about the encounter, you told her that you wanted to believe that it worked. But you never fooled anyone.

"Me too" she said giggling.

Thank god she didn't push it.

"I'm going to shower, so see you later...?" You said, and it sounded like a plan, but you just wanted to be nice with her.

"Oh, before you go, do you have any tampons? My period just came early this month. I think it's a reaction after drinking a huge amount last night"

Hormones, you knew about that.

Shit, period? Did he wear any condoms? I mean, you had your anti-babies method and all, but what about STD?

"Hello? Calling from earth, " Mina waved his hand in front of your face and you regained consciousness.

"Shit, yeah, sorry, here." You led her your last tampon from your bag.

"Thank you so much," Mina said, grabbing all her things into her purse. "I will see you around"

That encounter only made things worse. Albeit you wanted to avoid the bastard you needed to find him to have the most embarrassing talk of all.

You knew Bakugo's sexual life like the palm of your hand. The rumors on campus spread like the Black Death in medieval Europe. You prayed that your name wouldn't appear on those rumors.

It was easy finding him among his friends, the red-headed enormous cinnamon roll, the tall one with the tape quirk, and, of course, Mina.

You approached slowly and tensed. The first one on seeing you was Mina, who was happy to see you again after you gave her your last tampon. She waved his hand in your direction, and you smiled at her, trying to dissipate your nerves.

The time has come.

"Hey, uhm, I need to talk to you." You twisted your hands nervously after patting his shoulder to gain his attention. He turned around, and when caught that it was you in front of him, he just glared at you from above, the sun at his back making you squint your eyes a little. "In private," you said to complete your previous sentence.

He wasn't even giving you the time of the day before he was almost laughing at your face.

"Sorry, princess, I don't do rebounds." he solidly huffed at you with a side smile and all.

Mina was the first one to scold him while his friends just whined at his behavior.

That damn motherfucker son of a bitch bastard.

Your face passed from being the normal shade of your foundation and skin to a different shade of red. How could he be such a cunt about it?

But you had your mouth, too.

"Oh no, don't worry, I haven't seen a dick as small as yours, and you think I want to repeat that shit show? Oh, please. I just wanted to check if you have any STD I have to be aware of"

You lied about his dick at least. The only truth was that you didn't want to repeat the act.

The boys that were hanging out with him turned around to hide the giggling mess they were, while Bakugo only grunted in response, clenching his fist beside his stiff body.

"Why? Is there a problem down there? Is it itching or falling off?" He squinted his eyes at you, trying vehemently to put you down with his words. You denied moving your head like you didn't care at all about his attitude. "I don't have any STD. You should have seen it yourself when you were sucking me off"

Well, that was something a few people around heard. Scratch the "Don't be part of the rumor" from the list.

"Yeah, I should've had, but I forgot to bring my magnifying glass with me, that's completely on me, not your fault that you weren't blessed with something as big as your fucking ego"

The hushed screams of his friends were the beat you needed to turn around and leave him hanging. He had a piercing mouth, and you were almost trembling from the exchange of words, and yet, you didn't have the answer that you expected. Was he clean or not? Bakugo was a trustworthy man? Jeez, what a fucker.

Again, for the second time of the day you made your own walk of shame to your room.

"And, what did he say?" Jirou was waiting for you while she gathered all her belongings (and Denki's) to her side of the room.

"He said he doesn't have STD but I don't know if I should trust him...the scene was pretty intense." You sat in your bed, and she looked at you incredulously.

"Intense, how?" She quirked a brow, and you just shrugged before telling her everything.

"You did what!?" Denki stomped through the door. He was obviously listening behind the door like an old woman.

You hid your face in between your hands, internally screaming exhausted because of your poor decisions. Why did you leave the party with him of all people?

"He just nipped under my skin, and I had to defend myself, that's all," you tried to excuse yourself.

"You know that encounter is going to be the gossip of the week, right?" Jirou tapped your head gaining your attention. "You can't run of it"

"Jeez, I know"

All the situation was escalating from bad to worse real quick.

"Okay, fine, let's chill for a sec," Denki interrupted. "I'll find out about Kacchan medical records and I'll let you know, don't worry about it"

That's a good friend.

"Yeah, Denki can take care of that while you..."

"While I what?" You took your face off your hands.

"You know the rumor is going to spread before monday, right? You have to talk to Aizawa before he knows all of it in the worst way"

Shit. You had completely forgotten about the man who was kind enough to take you under his wing and be your guardian.

This was about to get good.

Let me know if you like it

taglist: @kiridagremiln @aefillor @screechingfangirlaf @chuugarettes @gold24fish @dreamcastgirl99 @andyetshewrote @budibbly @candiiee @linkfromskywardsword @galaneiaeris @fantasynerd05 @big-denki-energy @3thr3al @marsbars09 @whatswrong7 @scaranthropy

Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.

[moonchild1]

jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅸ)

hi everyone wow it's really been a while and i'm on list 9 already damnnn that's alot and list 10 is like half way complete already... soooo you might notice a change in the set up this time around i liked how it looked on my ao3 list so i added it here as well, i absolutely love this list like i've gone over this list a million times it's filled with alot of fics i was absolutely obsessed with, you know how attached i get to the characters and this list holds quite a few of them too so i hope you enjoy reading them as much as i did and you fall for them too... remember to give lots of love to the authors of these fics they are absolute geniuses and deserve all the respect and love in this world for creating these beautiful fics and sharing it with us so be sure to give them a follow, like and reblog or even leave a little comment i'm 100% percent sure it would mean alot to them 🥺🖤 also as these fics contain smut no under minors allowed/interact... if you would like to share some of your favourites or just wanna ramble about fics you love send me an ask i love hearing from you guys and happy reading everyone till next time ✨🖤

a- angst s- smut f-fluff

series

dreamcatchers by @ggukcangetit f a

↬  DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.  

block party by @minlucent f s a

↬ moving into your new apartment brings back memories of your biggest mistake. neighbours au e2l

a little bit of your heart by @yoongiofmine f s a ft. myg

↬ you had everything you could ever dream of; the career of your dreams as a music producer, the best friends you could ever wish for, and a exes-turned-friends-turned-fuck-buddies relationship with min yoongi. you knew you and yoongi would never move past that and you were okay with it. Until a friend from your past comes back into your life, offering to give you everything you deserve, everything yoongi couldn’t. Will jungkook show you what you’ve been missing? Or will the new guy threaten yoongi enough to do something about it? 

lost stars by @/yoongiofmine f s a

↬ Jungkook was lost. He didn’t know who he was anymore, so he decided to leave and find himself. But he wasn’t expecting to find you along the way, an island girl who has no idea who he is. Jungkook has a secret. But so do you. idol au s2l

secrets we keep by @/yoongiofmine f s a

↬ Being a camgirl was never your main goal in life, but when the pandemic hit and you lost your job, you were desperate. Now, two years later, the world is back to normal and  you are one of the top creators of OnlyChingu; the South Korean version of OnlyFans. A website where idols hide behind anonymous profiles in search of that connection they lost during lockdown. Jungkook was never into this type of stuff. Until he ran into you. He knows you’re his perfect girl, his ideal type. Will he be able to put his own insecurities aside when chasing you? Or will you let the secrets you keep ruin you? idol au

i hate you, i love you by @jungblue s a

↬ You hated him at seven, warmed up to him at twelve, and liked him at fifteen. Now the two of you are twenty years old and inseparable best friends… and you’re absolutely in love with him; he’s in love too—just not with you. 

fatal attraction by @jungcock s a ft. kth

↬ your dangerous ex-boyfriend comes back to haunt you in more ways than one. exes au serial killer thriller

pub golf by @taleasnewastime f s

↬ One night. One stupidly hot man, who just keeps appearing in every pub you go to. Six friends. Nine pubs. Nine drinks. Ten million stupid rules. Let the chaos begin. s2l

animal by @cutaepatootie f s a

↬ boxer jungkook au ANGST

things you don't know by @btsgotjams27 a

↬ It’s been seven years since you last saw the boy that broke your heart. After moving back home, you try everything you can to avoid seeing him around town, but destiny has a wicked way of doing the opposite.

entangled by @caelesjjk f s a ft. kth

↬ Jeon Jungkook is Spider-Man. He saved your life twice. But he’s also been your sweet lab partner in college for the past two years and now someone who is more than just a friend. You care about him…maybe even love him. But something tells you that you aren’t quite sure what love even is. How could you when you have feelings for someone else as well? Kim Taehyung is the handsome stranger you’ve seen around campus and somehow ended up dancing with at Club Onyx. You were upset that Jungkook had stood you up once again and Taehyung made you feel like you were on top of the world. What you didn’t know that night, is the dark secret Taehyung is trying desperately to hide, but the closer the two of you get the more difficult that becomes.

when the end comes by @oddinary4bts f s a

↬ Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

new girl by @jjkeverlast f s a

↬ after finding out your boyfriend of 6 years cheated on you, you find yourself moving in with three guys in a loft. what could possibly go wrong?

horizon by @/sokooks f s a

↬ The way you approached life had started to break down Jungkook's emotional barriers. Jungkook couldn't deny that he was drawn to you in a way that was entirely new and unfamiliar. You had become more than just an assignment; you had become someone he genuinely cared about. It was the way you made him feel. With you, he felt more human than he had in a long time. Despite his best efforts to remain detached, his heart had other plans. angel au

searching for nirvana by @/sokooks f s a

↬ he shouldn't be here. he shouldn't be touching you the way he was- but he was here before him. he was your friend, not him. he knew your body, not him. he wanted to be the only one to touch you the way you liked. he he wanted you to remember that. despite the fact that he already had someone waiting for him. best friends au cheating au.

twelve hours by @whatifyoulivelikethat s a

↬ you have twelve hours to make jeon jungkook fall in love with you. he's about to get married. you're the entertainment at his bachelor party - a burlesque dancer. long ago, he used to be the class representative and you used to be the class delinquent. nothing has changed and, yet, everything has.

when it all... by @7deadlysinsfics f a

↬ what’s there to do when your husband says he thinks he doesn’t love you anymore? you pick up the broken pieces the best you can and try to move on

better than me ? by @/7deadlysinsfics f s a

↬ jungkook is clear on what you both are to each other. still, he doesn’t want you to think anyone else is better than him

our first and our last by @thedefinitionofbts f a ft ot7

↬ The first time you met Jeon Jungkook was on your tenth birthday. On that day, he was nothing more than the strange man who jumped into a dark portal that suddenly opened in the middle of the park. The ten year old you just stood in the grass, strands of hair ruffling from the calm breeze that swooped by; head slightly tilted, bright, innocent eyes wide open and staring at him with wonder and disbelief. There was a certain amount of confusion, but your young mind was too naïve to question his actions or what they entailed. soulmate au

dancer in the dark by @gwoongi f s a

↬ Money can’t buy you happiness. Jeongguk, for the longest time, thinks he’s happy. Truthfully, Jeongguk doesn’t know what happiness is until you find him. rockstar au

together by @httpjeon f s a ft.pjm

↬domestic!au, couple!au, stoner!au, gamer!au

hot bot by @/httpjeon f s

↬ purchasing a Hot Bot wasn’t exactly something you ever really planned on. when you do, however, it sends your life down a path of convoluted government schemes and dark secrets.

stardust by @iamtaekooked f

↬ You didn’t believe in soulmates until you lay your eyes on Jeon Jeongguk, the younger brother of your best friend’s husband. That is when you see the red string beginning encircled around your pinky and ending in his

serendipity by @rohobi f s a

↬ After you reveal your inexperienced sexual status to your best friend, Jungkook grapples with the news, startled by the idea that the girl he always thought could get anyone, is a virgin. After finding his porn at 3AM, you decide that maybe it’s about time to stain the white sheets of your world with the colors of a forbidden fruit Jungkook seems to have in the palm of his hands.

chasing shadows by @colormepurplex2 s a

↬ Your job gets you into trouble sometimes. Who would have thought crime journalism would put so many targets on your back? But, it’s happening again, someone’s threatening you. Only, this time, it’s not just you that’s in the crosshairs. Your best friend, Enola, is out on assignment and can’t help like she usually does. So, what does she do instead? She sends her brother, Jungkook, armed with a magic bag, a charming smile, and deductive reasoning skills that prove his worth as one of the best PI’s around.

I gasp once, and in that breath, I accept you in by @inkofyoonkoo f s a

↬ In which Jungkook arrives to your small town to spend the holidays, and you slowly let go of all the ghosts of your past. s2l fwb au

sweet nothing by @adonis-koo f s a

↬ Being a guest at the Jeon Estate after a mishap of being kidnapped and dragged into your brothers affairs isn’t all that bad. Truth be told it brings you a lot closer to the mobster and owner of the estate Jeon Jungkook himself. His two rules are simple, don’t cause trouble and don’t give him a hard time. Somehow you manage to constantly do both in the most endearing way despite being pregnant and waddling around most of the time.

three's a crowd by @/adonis-koo s a ft. jimin

↬ When your mom’s fairytale life begins to bleed over into your world you’re suddenly caught between two men and one big secret, what was supposed to be a relaxing trip soon begins to spiral out of control. All you wanted was a free vacation… ceo au

sleepwalking by @taexual f s a

↬ due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

empty space by @ahundredtimesover f s a

↬ It started as friendship, turned to a casual fuck, then ended in heartbreak. Turns out, he wasn’t who he said he was, and years later he enters your life again, forcing you to face all the emotions you’d been trying to bury. 

OR Officer Jeon looks really hot in his uniform and you wish you didn’t hate him as much as you do.

as the world burns around us by @today-we-will-survive a

↬ You haven’t seen the sun in two years. The Virus wiped out a good three quarters of the world’s population and then the wars that followed wiped out half of that. After everything happened, it was only a matter of time before the different countries started blaming each other and emptied their nuclear arsenals. You’re still surprised Seoul survived – if you can call what it has become “surviving”

hotter than hell by @chateautae f s a

↬ jungkook, lucifer and king of hell, has been cast out of the crimson underworld for a reason he’s unsure of. embarking on his journey for the answer should’ve been easy, if it weren’t for you, the human that nurses his wounded body in her home, and accidentally witnesses the truth of his identity. kickstarting a hellish adventure with the devil himself, you discover lucifer is the most infuriating company ever; and jungkook finds out that maybe his answer to returning home lies within his annoying human confidant.

to turn a bad thing good by @/chateautae f s a

↬ jungkook’s drunken one night stand goes awry when he comes to learn not only is he being forced into an arranged marriage, but it’s to the very girl he abandoned that night—and things get a lot more complicated when you’re the best hookup he’s ever had.

J’aime by @baepop f s a

↬ You’re the newest hire at a local café and head barista Jeon Jungkook takes you under his wing.

Written in the Stars by @/baepop f s a ft. kth

↬ You’re the girl of Jungkook’s dreams, literally. The only problem: you’re taken by his best friend

make me forget by @roseannekook f s a

↬ You are the lead vocalist and main dancer of your company’s first girl group, but on the fourth promotion of your debut song things don’t go as planned. At the brink of an uprising scandal, you seek refuge in the bathroom stalls…and find it in the arms of no one else but BTS’ golden maknae Jeon Jungkook.

one of your girls by @ggukiepie s a ft. pjm

↬ fwb au college au fuck boy au inspired by the song

boy in luv by @/ggukiepie f s a

↬ just two idiot best friends in l*ve college!au, bff!jk, athlete!jk, student council president oc, cheerleader!oc

the boy who left by @/gujoonim a

↬ As your eyes staring deeply into your possible client-to-be’s eyes, something crossed your mind, it was that pair of eyes that you were looking for when you being abandoned at the aisle on your wedding day. ceo au

love sewn by @jvnghxope s a

↬ You’ve never cared about the thin-as-paper walls of your beloved apartment until Jeon Jungkook moved next door. You could hear everything –from his late-night parties on Saturday, to the quality time he spent with his girlfriend in the intimacy of his bedroom. One day, everything ceases. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and you find yourself knocking his door before you can think it twice.

not yet by f s @bratkook f s a

↬ jungkook feels the pang of guilt in his gut when you spot your recent ex out with his new girl, and what better way to make the jerk hurt than to have him believe you were now dating him, the neighbor he had been insecure about your whole relationship.

one shot

blazes of deceit by @periminkle f a

↬ when the opportunity to finally venture past the stone walls you’ve grown up in presents itself, you jump at the chance to discover the origin of those mysterious lights—even if the trip comes with a harsh truth and a suspicious, yet undoubtedly attractive, tour guide. tangled au disney au

southpaw by @starshapedkookie f s a

↬ Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

house of cards by @jeonggukingdom s a

↬ What does safe mean when you are chased by zombies, when every corner you turn could be the last one for you? What do words like home and future mean when you’re always on the run and every moment could be your last? They mean nothing and everything at the same time and Jeongguk is all of the above. He is your safe haven, he is your home and he is your future. But things like that crumble easily in your world.

enouement by @littlemisskookie s a

↬ War is Hell, but it’s what you had to do to take your brother’s place. Of course, between the days of Hell are little slices of Heaven you’d call your Captain, Jeon Jungkook. mulan au disney au

miss taken by @junghelioseok f s

↬you pride yourself on being a professional, but sometimes your students' parents really test your patience. single parent dilfjk jk e2l

the ex text by @shadowkoo f s a

↬ The 2 AM texts have started again. It’s a bittersweet familiarity that you can’t run away from, and despite wishing to forget him: no one will ever measure up to the exceptional standard set by your ex, and you’ll never have anyone as good as him either. Like a permanent mark on your heart, Jungkook’s presence has become an insatiable craving, an addiction you'll never outgrow or cast aside.

the proposal by @hansolmates f s a

↬Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. based on the movie the proposal e2l

red and gold by @/thedefinitionofbts f s

↬It’s no secret that genius, billionaire, international playboy, and philanthropist- Jeon Jungkook, better known as the CEO of Jeon Industries-and even better known as Iron Man, is one of the most intelligent, wealthy, and powerful men in the world. There’s nothing that can get to him or his ego, that is, until you happen to show up and give him a run for his money. 

burning bright by @snackhobi s

↬there are no secrets in the drift. if jungkook were to see the mess inside your head and heart, laid utterly bare, he’d turn away from you. based on the movie pacific rim

but we loved young by @jl-micasea-fics s a

↬Jungkook is everything you’re not, the ying to your yang. Your tight knit friendship nurtured from childhood survived the major life events that most don’t, and to that end, you suppose you’re fated to be together, until unrequited longing is eventually noticed, and boundaries are forever crossed.

the shoulder on which you cry by @lemonjoonah f s a ft. knj

↬ after moving away from your hometown five years ago, you’ve struggled on every return. each trip back being made out of haste due to an unfortunate event in your life. namjoon has always been there to help you through those moments. but when he can’t be there to support you during your current trip home, jungkook offers to stay by your side and be the comfort you need. 

illusion of choice by @hobibliophile f s a

↬ You’ve grown up with the Jeons, Jungmin and Jungkook, for as long as you can remember, your parents being very close. But little did you know that this is because you are in fact arranged to be married to the Jeon heir, Jungmin. However, a tragedy causes Jungkook to take up his brother’s mantle, and that includes becoming your fiancé.

the blue princess and her red rose by @/cutaepatootie f s a

↬ After all, he was her red rose, while she was just another one of the many blue roses that grew in the dying gardens of Greyria. princess au

rigor mortis by @readyplayerhobi f s a

↬ A night out at a bar results in you going home with a young and attractive police officer. But if you think the night was something to remember, that’s nothing compared to waking up to find a zombie outbreak in the city. A chance encounter with Officer Jeon leads to him helping you escape from the plague infested city.

lowkey by @joonbird s

↬ Jungkook is the nude model for your art school’s life drawing class.

part-time lover by @sketchguk f s a

↬there is no crime more perfect than marrying jeon jeongguk. your relationship is nothing more than a ruse - while your friends pester you for being perpetually single, jeongguk desperately needs a wife to complete the pristine image of a family, fooling his way through the parent interview at the nation’s most prestigious private school. only time will tell how deep your lies will run as you find home in one another’s minds. because untangled in the moonlight, he is but a spy, exposing a secret world of corruption, and you, an assassin, ridding the streets of danger one hit at a time. 

sweet apple biscuits by @rosaetae a

↬ a story about someone who receives letters from themselves ten years in the future and asks them to fix all their regrets and save a particular boy. inspired by the anime 'orange'

i'll be home by @wwilloww f s a ft.knj

↬ When your first love, Jungkook, disappeared from your village five years ago, no one thought he would return, let alone on the night of your betrothal to another man. 

white lies by @noteguk f s a

↬ in which Jungkook lies his way out of and into trouble. But he can’t tell white lies when it comes to you. 

yes coach by @/taleanewastime s

↬ You play in a local netball team and as a new season starts you have a new coach. Enter Jungkook, he may look soft, but he turns out to be a hard taskmaster, one who ruffles your feathers when he makes some changes to the team. Tensions grow between you through the weeks, until they finally reach breaking point.

spf 50 by @gimmeyoon f s

 ↬ If you have to spend your summer home from college working a job you hate, it might as well include sitting by the pool with Jungkook. Now if only kids could stop vomiting in it.

fifth wish by @jiminrings f a

↬ jeon jungkook, world-class socialite and nepotism baby, should be out every night to celebrate while he’s at his prime. why should he fake-date his bodyguard instead? alternatively, jungkook regularly throws coins to wishing wells with only one desire in mind — to get rid of you.

blacklisted by @/httpjeon s a ft. kth

↬after departing from your dom, you’re assigned to two incredibly powerful men.

↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library

[transformhim]

Pose

“We good here?”

The model’s question caught him off guard as Raul looked up from from his camera, adjusting the frame and focus for his next shot while his assistant, Damien, moved onto the set to adjust the light and prop placements. The deep bass background music played throughout the apartment in the awkward silence.

The fuck does he mean, are we done?? We’ve hardly started! Raul thought with an annoyed scratch at the back of his head. The model had been a terrible subject to begin with, giving poses and taking heavy sighs at each direction Raul tried to give him, and essentially treated the shoot as though it was something he was bored doing. His payment was way more than modest and the shoot wasn’t supposed to take more than an hour, but he looked like he was ready to leave just 20 minutes in.

Raul cleared his throat, “Uhh, actually we still need a couple more shots. The client is looking for a pretty varied spread to choose from. So if we could j—..”

“Come on, man, you’re really gonna make me do this for another 40 minutes? I’m sure what you got is fine.”

Raul breathed in heavily, “Look, it’ll just take a bit more, the contract said that it wouldn’t be—..”

“Well, you can take it up with my agent, man, I got places I gotta be,” the model started stepping off the set, turning his back to Raul to start packing his things.

Raul turned his eyes towards Damien, lifting his palms up in a disbelieving gesture and shaking his head. Damien just rolled his eyes and shrugged with a dejected smirk. They’ve dealt with these kinds of divas numerous times before. Almost too many to count, actually.

But money had been tight at the studio since the pandemic hit, and even all these years later it still hadn’t recovered. they couldn’t afford to keep getting these types of dismissive twats leave shoots before they were supposed to. Clients were always very specific about what they wanted and could cut pay if they weren’t satisfied.

But Raul and Damien had their own means of dealing with these kinds of rude bastards. As they exchanged wordless looks expressing their annoyance and frustration, Damien’s eyes began to slowly drift towards the model off set, gathering his belongings. His dejected look changed to one of curiosity as he bit his lip. He looked towards Raul and narrowed his eyes with a cheeky grin.

‘Should I?’ Damien mouthed silently towards Raul.

A sly grin spread across Raul’s face as he considered Damien’s proposal. He looked back at the model—turned away from them as he texted to his agent or slam piece or gym family or whatever—and back at Damien, biting his lip mischievously and nodding.

Damien smiled wider and stretched. He took off his tank top and tossed it aside, his toned hairy torso now bare. His fingers hooked under his waistband, and his basketball shorts and boxers drop silently to the floor as he kicked them over on top of his tank top. Now naked and hardening quickly, he arched his back in a stretch, rolled his neck, and rubbed his palms together as he stepped towards Raul. He leaned in for a quick kiss with his partner as he took the bottle body oil next to Raul that the model had used and squirted a massive helping into his hand, slathering it over his chest, arms, and face. Quickly, he moved towards the model gathering his things, ducking down lower as he approached.

“When you get to it, make sure my payment goes t—UUUHHHNNGGG!!” The model was interrupted in the middle of his sentence as Damien, in one fluid motion, pulled the model’s speedo down and plunged his face between his globular asscheeks. The model groaning and grunting in mindless pain and confusion, gripping the sides of the table where his things were sitting, as Damien popped his oily face and head into model’s tight hole, sending a loud squelching *SCHLORP* echoing through the apartment.

Damien’s slick body then began to suck up into the model’s hole, his muscular tan form thinning and contorting as he slithered deeper and deeper into the model’s guts, the entire process emitting a familiar meaty, slimy, slurping sound Raul knew and loved so well. Raul licked his lips, pawing his swelling package, as he watched the model’s sculpted ass distend slightly as his tight hole widen more and more as it hungrily slurped Damien inside him, his tattooed, lubricated form and limbs compressing in on themselves as he plunged deeper. Raul couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the model—he knew full well how ecstatic and orgasmic it felt to have Damien slither up inside him… and what came next.

Just as Damien’s ass and throbbing rod sank into the model’s guts, his thighs and legs shot up into the hole at a much faster speed, whipping into the model’s hole noisily. Raul had shoved his hands into his shorts and was stroking eagerly as the Damien's feet slurped inside while the model groaned and contorted, arching his neck and back and standing on the tips of his toes, cringing at the pain and pleasure racking through his body.

Damien was gleefully readjusting his out-of-proportion frame within the squeezing, slimy, meaty confines of the model’s body, feeling different parts of the model’s sides, abs, and back twitch, flex, and contort, as his body tried to adjust to its invader. He could hear the muffled sounds of Raul’s horny, drunken laughter from the outside, thinking he for sure must have been making the model appear to have a substantially pregnant beer gut as Damien’s body centralized in his torso. After using a stretched out hand to brush his lubricated, wet hair out of his face, Damien went to work shoving his limbs into the model’s extremities.

Damien loudly moaned from within the body as he felt his arms and legs come to new life with increased strength and size while his limbs shoved through slick meat like a tight sleeve into the model’s beefy appendages. He smirked, feeling cocky and horny as he felt his arms burst into massive cannons and his heart fluttered as he felt the rest of him come to life. Damien arched in exhilarated bliss as he felt his chest, torso, and back first compress under the weight of the model’s squeezing body and then surge outward in new sensations of power and mass as Damien’s senses merged with the model’s, enticing him to give his big chest a flex to feel it bounce with new weight.

Raul nearly blew his load from an observer’s perspective. The model’s head was lolled backwards and his eyes rolled back while his body underwent what looked to be an instant pump, his muscles standing out more prominently under his skin, bit by bit, as his boyfriend filled him up like a balloon. Raul gasped as he stroked himself, watching Damien fill up the model’s lower half, making his already impressive thighs and glutes swell larger still. The thong he was wearing for the shoot looked somehow more risqué than earlier, hugging the model’s sweaty skin more tightly and accentuating his now-larger parts. The model was no longer the shredded twunk he was when he came into the apartment, but a swaggering thicc muscle stud with his and Damien’s combined mass.

Finally, Raul could see a sizable lump appear from near the model’s collarbone, stretching the model’s gold chain to its limit, as Damien began to shove his own head upwards into the model’s. He began to elicit deeper, gurgling groans as Damien wiggled and stretched his head up into the neck. Raul felt himself nearing completion as the model’s head suddenly jolted upwards with a dull crack, the lump in the model’s throat now gone. It wasn’t until Raul heard Damien utter his first satisfied groan in the model’s low voice that he blew his pent up load all over the floor in front of him.

Damien rolled his head around in his new body, stretched his shoulders and panted a few more breaths. He touched the foreign curves and angles in his face for a moment, turned on by his own handsome, sharp, smooth face. He felt sweat dripping off him from his exertion and huffed a big whiff of the new musk he emitted. Not bad!

“Alright!” He rubbed his hands off his face and down his pillowy chest.

“Let’s take some pictures.”

Damien turned to see that Raul had blown a sizable load all over the floor, some even on the set, and giggled as Raul chuckled, panting, coaxing the last of his load out of his shaft, letting it dribble down his fingers and onto the puddle below.

“Already?! Come on, man,” Damien chastised playfully.

“Sorry, babe, I just love the way you filled him out, dude. Fuck!”

“Oh? Y’like?” Damien teased walking towards him, saucily lolling his tongue out while he flexing his arms hard and tensing his pec muscles several times. He was being corny like always, but Raul was kicked into 5th gear again, instantly ready to blow another load.

“Yeah, dude, I fuckin’ do,” Raul took the liberty of feeling up Damien’s slick muscle gut, running his hands over his protruding abs. Damien could see how into this his boyfriend was and decided to move things forward a bit.

He grabbed Raul’s hand and shoved it into his thong, feeling his new hardening 7 incher steel against his boyfriend’s palm. He humped and gyrated his mammoth cock against Raul’s hand and asked, “What about the shoot?”

“Shoot can wait,” Raul moaned as he gripped onto Damien’s slick dick and stroked, lifting up Damien’s huge arm with his other hand and burying his face into Damien’s sweaty pits, licking and lapping at the moist surface while inhaling deeply.

Damien lifted up his other arm for Raul to let his boyfriend worship his other pit, bouncing his pecs a bit as Raul slathered his greedy face across his sweaty jugs on his way to the next pit. Damien grinned as he felt Raul continue to lovingly work his shaft. He was looking forward to a hedonistic, indulgent weekend with his boyfriend—he just hoped they eventually remember to finish the shoot.

[wilwheaton]

What the actual fuck, Larry David.

So I heard about it, but didn't watch it until now. Holy shit it's even worse than I thought. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Elmo is, like, the best friend to multiple generations of children, and is currently putting mental health and caring for others in the spotlight.

And Larry Fucking David ... did ... that? And thought it was going to be ... funny?

What an asshole. What a stupid, self-centered, tone deaf asshole.

Hey, fucko: First of all, you aren't even in the segment, but you just decided to barge in and draw focus because ... why? You couldn't stand that a puppet brought people together in a meaningful way that you can't? You couldn't stand that your appearance on national television to promote your wildly successful series was delayed for a few seconds while the adults talked about mental health?

I really want to know what raced through his tiny little mind, and why there was no voice or person who spoke up to stop him.

You know who is watching the Today show with their parents? Kids who also watch Sesame Street. Elmo is an avatar for children all over the world. Children who are too small to understand Elmo is a puppet will know that a man attacked him for no reason, and that will frighten them.

Elmo inspired a deeply meaningful and important moment of collective support among disparate people who have been struggling through the traumas of a pandemic, daily mass shootings, the rise of fascism and everything associated with Trump's violence and cruelty.

And shitty idiot Larry David couldn't stand it, for some reason. He had to indirectly tell everyone who opened their hearts to a Muppet that they were stupid, and he thought it was a good joke to physically attack and choke this character who is beloved by children and adults alike.

I've been bored by and totally over Larry David's brand of being an asshole to everyone because they had the temerity to exist around him since the day it started. It was easy to just ignore him. But this thing he did was hurtful, it wasn't funny, and his bullshit non-apology tells all of us everything we need to know about him.

Larry David strikes me as a person who mocks and belittles people who are vulnerable and sensitive, who is cruel because he enjoys it and is untouchable. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's who I see whenever I can't find the remote and he's on my television.

By contrast, Elmo and the Muppets teach and model that kindness and empathy aren't weak or stupid or any of the things people like Larry David and my dad think they are. Elmo and the Muppets teach children to be gentle and kind, to celebrate our different cultures and to embrace all of our complicated feelings.

I hope that, when the dust settles, Larry David's appalling behavior will be a footnote to a larger story about how, for just one day, a Muppet made a difference by helping all of us who are struggling feel just a little less alone and anxious.

A man who would belittle and mock that isn't much of a man at all.

[batwynn]

In 2019 I made a complaint to an office that handles complaints about accessibility about a ramp and door at a local post office that was not accessible at all for people who use wheelchairs or walkers. I am not a walker or wheelchair user, but I noticed that there was a large gap in the ramp that wheels could get trapped in, the ramp itself was short, and provided no space for someone to turn to enter, and the door had no button AND could not even open completely to let someone through.

It’s hard to see from the Google Maps, but it was BAD. And it pissed me off. So I made a report. I got passed around from office to office for a few months, then nothing. 2020 comes around and the pandemic is hitting a high. I’ve moved towns and I’m dealing with a kind of shitty living situation that’s driven the ramp out of mind. I got a call one day from a man in one of the many offices the complaint was forwarded to. He is adamant that this ramp and door will be fixed. I mean, he assures me with passion that this will be fixed. At the time, I was really impressed and happy to hear something like that because I didn’t think anyone would still care while so much bad stuff was going on in the world.

And then I get mistreated and harassed by people based on my disabilities and gender. I become homeless because of it. I made an official complaint about discrimination, and the offenders lie through their teeth. The office handling my complaint says it didn’t happen, and closes the case. So I don’t exactly believe in these protections and offices that promise you’ll be helped so much anymore. I checked Google Maps one last time to see no changes sometime in 2021. It’s been a bitter, shitty feeling to hold on to for years now.

And then I checked my email just now.

Ideally, they’d have added a door with an automatic opener, but they actually fixed everything else! They fixed it!

They fucking fixed it!

So, make those complaints. If a business or building is breaking the law by being inaccessible, fuck them up. Get your friend to report it, too. Maybe it will take four years, but maybe not. Maybe someone will genuinely care and actually fix it.

[darsynia]

The Smoke That Roams (post-apocalypse AU Bucky/Reader)

MCU MASTERLIST | lmk if you want to be tagged for Bucky fics!

Summary: You and Bucky find each other after the world almost ends

Length/Warnings: 3,080 | sex, allusions to violence

Notes: I tagged this on AO3 as 'romance and survival soaked in metaphor,' lol. It's post-apocalyptic angst. Stop typing, Darsy.

Excerpt:

You weren’t afraid of him, you realized. You were afraid for him. He was a supersoldier, but he wasn’t immortal. Bucky often went off by himself without saying anything to you--but what if someday he didn’t come back? 

A pillow landed on the queen sized bed beside yours, followed by a blanket, followed by Bucky, who threw himself onto his back beside you with as much care as he’d tossed everything else. He was so warm you could feel the heat radiating through the space that separated you, even though none of it carried through to his tone.

“You’re safe. Go to sleep.”

It was… exactly what you needed.

The Smoke That Roams

You used to compare him to a solid, cold hunk of metal. Non-reflective but uncorroded, with a metaphorical melting point so high it’s practically unreachable. A weapon when thrown but otherwise safe, foundational, inexpressive.

That was before he touched you.

Bucky Barnes is not safe. He is expressive, though. Just not with words.

now

The world isn’t destroyed. There are still plants, there are still animals, and there are still safe places to spend time. The planet may actually be better off now than in the last few hundred years, because the humans who were in the process of ruining things just barely failed.

There are no regulations, no government-enforced exclusion zones, only good- and bad-intentioned people living day to day. You figure humanity has around twenty years of 'every man for himself' to realize how difficult it is to grow crops and sustain life. Until then, everyone’s subsisting on canned food and shelf-stable meats while hating every second of it.

Boredom is an unexpectedly dystopian pandemic, post-apocalypse. Books still exist, so there’s that. Unfortunately, even if there were experienced people to keep the electrical grid going, it’s completely unsustainable without an accompanying society. When you’re really depressed, you picture various survivors all around the world hunkering down to read Jurassic Park or Gone Girl next to pine-scented candles or last year’s Pantone table tapers. Once, you imagined a group of miserable assholes warming their hands next to a bonfire of Live, Laugh, Love wall hangings outside of a Cracker Barrel. It helped. You doubt any Karens survived the apocalypse to object.

then

You survived out of luck, if you could call living in the aftermath of a failed nuclear response ‘luck.’ 

Given the honest-to-fuck alien invasion, those nuclear strikes should have taken out the whole area. Instead, a strange golden dome repelled the worst of the damage, but you knew better than to assume it would stick around. After gathering some important provisions (including a gun and all your ammo), you spent some time bundling up your lawnmower’s spare gas can. You'd read The Stand. There's no way you're strong enough to pilfer gasoline from an underground tank.

That was when you found a leather-clad warrior man standing beside your motorcycle. He didn't seem surprised to see you. “You know how to ride this?”

“You after parts or gas?” you asked, hand on the butt of your gun. You were high on survivor’s guilt and low on bravado. He noticed both.

“A bodyguard,” Bucky told you sardonically.

He eventually told you the real reason, but at the time you’d pulled courage out of the sulfuric smell of danger in the air and suggested you watch each other’s backs.

now

“Still awake?”

You roll over to see Bucky’s familiar shape standing at the window, outlined in moonlight.

“Yeah. It’s too quiet.” Yesterday the two of you had retreated further into the mountains, judging your previous temporary home too close to the river after seeing two small groups using it for through travel.

“Never thought I’d like the quiet this much,” he muses.

Getting up, you move to stand beside him, still dressed in multiple layers to ward off the colder elevation. “That’s because it matters why it’s quiet.”

He doesn’t look over, but his smile is gorgeous in the dim light. “That’s a war reference.”

“You’re damn right.”

The two of you stand in silence, watching the shadows of the nearby trees play in the wind until he speaks again, gruff and oddly defensive.

“I was right about the shelter.”

“There’s a radio? Was it the right kind?”

“Yeah. Months worth of food, too.”

You’re embarrassed at how excited you are at the thought of MREs. “That’s great,” you say, reaching out to touch his arm. It’s sopping wet. Turning to look at him more fully, you see that his hair is wet too. He’s been dripping the whole time he's stood there; there’s a halo of wet, dark spots on the floor around him that feel almost symbolic.

“Most of the food was untouched. Ghosts don’t eat much.”

“How many?” You have to dredge to find enough moisture to rub your vocal cords together.

“Just one. Buried him in the woods pretty far out, washed up in the river.”

Bucky leaves so much unsaid, but you’re good at decoding him by now. This new cabin is miles from the river. As a good ‘bodyguard,’ though, you have one more clarifying question. It’ll matter, if you want to stay here for longer than a week or two.

“Was there evidence of-- did someone else--”

“Self-inflicted.”

“Yeah, aren’t we all,” you sigh, pushing away the guilt of relief.

then

You learned him slowly.

Bucky didn’t need a bodyguard as much as a body, or more accurately a second person to help carry the items he was gathering. It made sense; even a loner like him wouldn’t separate from the other Avengers without a reason. Their version of ‘strength in numbers’ was too complicated to understand and he didn’t really explain, but it had something to do with scattered communication, whatever that meant.

The parts he needed were in military bases, abandoned (and guarded, which was fucking terrifying) high rises, and one notable item was in a corn field. Eventually he gave you his motorcycle and upgraded to one with a sidecar.

You didn’t ask why it was wet when he showed up with it, but you had an idea of why he might have needed to clean it off.

By then you were used to sharing a room with him, dressing and undressing when he was out of the room or faced away. He didn't seem to mind, but you couldn’t really tell, and he didn’t say. 

You were more like coworkers than anything else, to the point that he barely spoke once one of you started readying for bed, like an unwritten boundary. Not that night. He’d broken into a hotel with two beds, one for each of you. That night, instead of his usual steady rhythm of breaths that eventually lengthened into sleep, there was just pensive silence.

Silence was the worst part of your new life. Silence allowed doubts and fears to creep into the gaps between breaths, clawing out space for larger worries. Bucky was quiet, but he was rarely silent.

“It’s not cold,” he finally said, almost accusatory.

You didn’t know how to respond. You weren’t cold, you were in shock. Death was everywhere and nowhere; either you fought for your life or saw the evidence of those who’d lost that battle. Each choice came with terrible necessity. Had that sidecar been a necessity? 

The flashlight clicked on. “You’re shivering.”

“I’m not cold.”

You weren’t afraid of him, you realized. You were afraid for him. He was a supersoldier, but he wasn’t immortal. Bucky often went off by himself without saying anything to you--but what if someday he didn’t come back? 

A pillow landed on the queen sized bed beside yours, followed by a blanket, followed by Bucky, who threw himself onto his back beside you with as much care as he’d tossed everything else. He was so warm you could feel the heat radiating through the space that separated you, even though none of it carried through to his tone.

“You’re safe. Go to sleep.”

It was… exactly what you needed.

now

“I need to build it as high up as I can,” Bucky says.

“Not ‘we?’” you ask, nowhere near as breezy as you hoped.

“I need you to be here, safe.” He reaches out and grabs your hand with his smooth, river-damp metal one, squeezing just too much. It’s as calculated as it is unintentional, like your relationship. “This time, ‘safe’ is not with me.”

He can run for days, heal his own wounds, kill in so many ways it would take a week to list them all, and you still don’t want him to go alone.

You don’t say that, though.

Instead, you tuck yourself against Bucky’s chest, wrapping your arms around his drenched torso. There are no dryers, no radiators to hang your wet clothes on, no fireplace to dry them by. It’s a message.

He holds you close in the moonlight, his river water soaking into you, your unspoken love seeping into him.

then 

Bucky learned you fiercely.

After begrudgingly joining you the first time, he slept beside you from then on, handling it the same way he handled everything: with little explanation and an air of inflexibility. Suddenly you were two people who slept (slept, mind you) together, the metal plates of your lives shifting perfectly to fit that new reality. 

You didn’t fully understand what it all meant until the night Bucky went for a walk instead of getting into bed. He’d killed a man right in front of you that day--brief, brutal, and bleak--and you'd waited for him to come back, alone with your own brutal and bleak thoughts. Had survival destroyed your morality? Why had he been beautiful as he’d ended the attacker’s life? Couldn’t things go back to the way they were? You didn’t ask for this!

Then it hit you.

Neither did he.

You got to travel with him in 2019 because someone did things to him in the 40s that he’d never asked for.

Bucky came back, but that didn't help you purge those horrible thoughts, not until he sighed in obvious annoyance and threw an arm over your hip, dragging you back against his chest like it was an obligation.

Only then could you sleep.

And so could he.

now

The moon is too high to shine through your borrowed window anymore, so Bucky leads you back to the bed in the dark. He guides your clothes over your head and down your hips as unerringly as a marksman who knows the specs of his weapons. When he kisses you, it’s sloppy and imprecise, like he doesn't have time to come up with a plan other than 'must touch, now.'

He drops you onto your back on the bed and straightens up, stripping off his shirt. You figure that out by the sound the sodden fabric makes on the hardwood floor, a wet thunk followed by the metal pinging noise his belt buckle makes.

A strange realization hits you: for the first time since everything went to hell, you don’t want water stains on the floor. This could be your place, yours and his. The thought warms the places where you’d pressed up against Bucky’s wet clothes, but soon his kisses do that for you, furnace-hot yet gentle as the curl of smoke from your frequent campfires.

You burn for him, and you have since before he touched you with intent and looked at you with desire. 

then

Post-apocalyptic isolation was finally getting to you.

The warehouse was cold, impersonal, and dangerous enough that no one lived there, despite being a single building surrounded by miles of possibly-fertile fields. Back when it was operating, that had protected the county population, and now that it was not, its position could best be called strategic. No one could sneak up on you if you were diligent, but the monotony of guard duty was wearing on you. So was the wind coming off of the unrelenting central plains.

You'd never seen Bucky that frustrated before. He came to bed each night tense and sullen, even angry, and instinctively, you’d done your best to give him space. It was only in the last few nights that ‘space’ had included sleeping separately, despite the chill of early autumn that seeped into your bones from the concrete floor.

Day five of that singular brand of loneliness happened to be day thirteen at that location. You weren’t sure how much more you could take.

“Let me help you.” Your tone was wounded, but you didn’t raise your voice.

“You are helping.”

“There’s no point in me watching for nonexistent scavengers when whatever you’re doing isn’t working down here! Especially since--” Your words turned to ash in midair. You’d been about to say ‘especially since you won’t sleep with me anymore,’ which made your relationship sound vastly different than what it actually was.

Bucky smiled for the first time in days. “Go on.”

“No way. Mad Max himself couldn’t drag it from me.”

“I think I saw that one,” he said, swiping a precious candy bar from the special stash and sitting on a stack of pallets. “Sand and cars?”

You choke out a laugh. “If any of the filmmakers are still alive, can you even imagine--”

“They probably murder anyone that brings it up.” Bucky wrapped up the rest of the candy bar and held it up like he was about to toss it to you. “Tell me.”

Your chest felt like you’d swallowed lighter fluid. He looked happier than he had in days, and you had no idea if telling him the truth would toss a match or douse it.

Well, you lived with enough fear as it is.

“Fine,” you said with fake annoyance. “I was going to say that it’s hard to sleep without you breathing on my neck and hogging the blanket.” The plan was to be flippant, to avoid seeing his response, but an arsonist can never look away from their own blaze.

Bucky was still sitting the way he had been before, but you could see the tension ebbing from his shoulders. His metal hand relaxed its grip on the pallet with the same slow relief as the growing smug look on his face.

“Yeah?” he asked, impudent and inflammatory.

“Yeah. Give me the candy bar.”

“Oh, I will,” Bucky grinned. He stood up with the kind of confident menace that had sold many an action movie ticket.

“Oh my god, turn that off!” you yelped, poised to run. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Sand,” he said. You bit your lip as he continued, “I can use it to shore up-- Never mind.”

Bucky’s gaze was intent as he started walking in your direction. It was the same kind of focus he used to defend your lives, with only difference being the impudent light in his eyes. You backed away (never turn your back on a predator) as swiftly as you could, heart pounding in your delighted chest.

Seconds later you realize he’d herded you against a dividing wall and he was still advancing. It was absurd, sexy as hell, and the aforementioned lighter fluid had completely replaced your blood volume. One touch and you’d be aflame. 

Bucky didn’t touch you.

He stopped mere breaths away, leaning his metal forearm on the wall. Bucky brought the half-wrapped candy bar up where you could see it and then ripped away the wrapping with his teeth, his eyes glittering with challenge. Holding your gaze, he brought it to your mouth.

You were breathing so heavily your breasts grazed his chest, sparking brushfires each time. Still, this was a contest of sorts, and you had precious few chances to go toe to toe with this man. You waited until the heat of your mouth smeared the chocolate on your lower lip, and only then did you move--shoving his hand to the side and arching up to kiss him.

His groan ignited something in both of you. He pulled you close with a rough hand at your thigh, curving your leg around him and taking charge of the kiss. It was exhilarating, full of the heat of something long-desired. You grabbed at the fabric of his shirt, dug your fingernails into his hair, your other hand skating over the bare metal of his arm.

Suddenly he pushed back on the wall behind you with enough force to shake the cinderblocks, eyes wild, hands at the hem of his tank top. You nodded, scraping your elbows in your haste to strip off your clothes. It took just seconds before you were on each other again, Bucky half carrying you to the corner of the warehouse where you’d piled up your bedding. He was already pumping his fingers in and out, sucking a brutal kiss on your neck even as he knelt on the pile of ragged quilts.

“You are so fucking strong-- yes, like that,” you gasped out with your eyes screwed so tightly you saw a spray of sparks. The white-hot pleasure practically rang in your ears, and then he was there, splitting you apart and putting you back together, with the taste of him healing the gaps.

“You smell just like every morning I wanted to do this,” Bucky growled into your skin. The pinpoint pain of his fingertips digging into your hip was so real, so him that you were speechless. All you could do was drag your lips across every inch you could reach, arching your back to drive the two of you toward the wreckage of your former selves.

When release came it was a second nuclear event, him panting into the join of your neck and shoulder, your hands buried in his hair.

now

There is a luxury to darkness and patience, one you never would have guessed at in the Time Before.

Bucky doesn’t have to see the ecstasy on your face to know his expert caresses are sending you skyward. You don’t have to watch him throw his head back to know he’s about to come apart inside you.

He’s seen the silhouette of your body backlit by the sunset as you ride him.

You’ve watched the lethargy of pleasure-bought peace lift months of his guilt.

Things will never go back to the way they used to be, but just as you’ve learned to navigate the chaos of the current world, you’ve also learned the comfort of being truly known.

Tomorrow, Bucky will head up the mountain to build one piece of a larger device various Avengers have been constructing across the world. Stark had called it a cosmic smoke signal, a last-ditch effort to call for rescue. After all this time, you’re not sure your heart is in it anymore. It’s engaged elsewhere; you haven’t just learned to adapt, you’ve learned to thrive with Bucky at your side.

Still, the others are counting on the two of you, and it’s all about balance. Whether the next mission is a fiery trip to the stars or the steady puff of a hand-built cookstove, you’re ready for what comes next.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

[dyketubbo]

right. so considering how this person talked about things (using wilbur and george as main examples, even liking a tweet of someone pointing out the irony of one of wilburs songs saying not to trust british men, notably someone who immediately believed the allegations against tubbo) its incredibly likely that this was someone whos bitter about wilbur and/or george and wanted to discredit shubble and caiti (not to mention others like lexie and andi who have also come out with their stories) as "allegations with no evidence". notably they point out the AI not acting like a boy, but nothing about the story implies the victim is a boy, its the profile having a woman's name, and since their account existed before this i dont think they had chatgpt come up with their username for this.

shubble and caiti didnt have "no evidence". they both had friends who could corroborate their stories, and even people who previously associated with the creators were able to confirm things. shubble's story actively mentioned wilbur hurting her in front of their shared friends, other ccs had experience with him biting or otherwise being rough with them, several ccs admitted that he was a horrible person to them too, wilburs ant infestation was talked about before shubble mentioned it in her story, several of shubbles friends were aware of her experience before she talked about it publicly. caiti's story included something personal about george (the tickling kink) that only people who had experience with him knew about (from what i know), george has openly admitted to not caring about hurting his friends on camera, and others were able to confirm that george talked inappropriately about them as well. wilbur and george both actively responded to each story even without their names being said because the stories were familiar enough to them that they didnt need to be said. they knew it was about them just based on what the victims said they were like.

its extremely fucked up to make a social experiment out of all of this, and i dont think it was really a social experiment out of any sort of academic interest in the first place. its a fake story made up to make actual victims seem unreasonable and dumb for coming out and being believed based on what this person believed was word alone. the very fact that they either didnt notice or just left in the obvious contradictions with the set up (accusing a gay man who cant drive of assaulting a girl while driving her home from a party in the pandemic, which he didnt leave his house during) actively shows that they believe the actual victims' stories are as "dumb" as this and genuinely believed that they didnt have actual weight to them. they truly did think there was "no evidence", that people were just spreading around baseless stories and taking them at face value, that no one even thought of innocent before guilty.

the only people who need to learn are the ones behind this story. but if there is anything to learn about on others ends, its to be aware of people like this who will discredit the victims' and accuse their stories of being dumb and lacking evidence, who will defend abusers with "innocent until proven guilty" while also targeting actual innocents. have actual victims in your heart and mind and dont let shit like this deter you from what actually matters: continuing to support real victims and paying attention to the issues that they bring up about misogyny, abuse of power, and the dangerous culture surrounding how victims are treated in this community by diehard fans of their abusers. this fake story and the mindset of the people behind it only shows just how far some people will go to try and discredit and downplay what shubble speaking up has started to do for this community

[the-greatest-fool]

I basically only post and read posts in my bubble aside from occasionally scrolling through Real Tumblr, but people’s takes about US politics on this website are fucking unbelievable. They talk about our government as if it didn’t save us from a pandemic-induced financial collapse, pump trillions of dollars into public works, not to mention substantially invest and rein in pharmaceuticals, and is instead some sort of ultra-neoliberal-corporate kitty shooting machine.

Like let’s be for real. Do they…know what the government does? How it works? Do you know what a conservative is? Do you know what an authoritarian is?

Because a system of government whose citizens are all lucky it has had continuous peaceful transfer of power for centuries could very well have its greatest norm violated—that those who reject its legitimacy must be rejected—and we don’t blink an eye.

Because the first major investment against climate change, coupled with life saving investments into healthcare, cancer research, and drug costs could be shredded by indiscriminate fiscal conservatives who don’t care if we die in forest fires, cancer from pollution, lose insurance because we’re jobless, or, apparently, all die in a fricking plague.

Because a foreign policy establishment that had finally reversed two decades of foreign intervention in favor of a normalization strategy aimed at reducing American foot presence, drone strikes, and indiscriminate killings is about to be replaced by the whims of a man who dropped the “mother of all bombs” on the Middle East, gave American soldiers up to Russian bounty hunters, extorted a foreign leader for political favors and arguably indirectedly resulted in that country being BRUTALLY INVADED BY AN IMPERIAL NEIGHBOR, is in the pockets of CCP-funded billionaires, and WANTS TO “FINISH THE JOB” IN GAZA.

Because a President who is against family separations and promotes a path for DREAMERs and more legal immigration and rights for unodcumented people could be replaced by a man who wants to separate families, PUT UNDOCUMENTED PEOPLE IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS, RESTRICT EVEN LEGAL IMMIGRATION, ESPECIALLY THAT OF MUSLIMS, AND SHOOT MIGRANTS.

Because a President who stopped a repeat of the Great Recession and the painful decade that followed it with strong fiscal stimulus which CUT CHILD POVERTY IN HALF BEFORE CONSERVATIVES MADE IT EXPIRE, then managed to cut deficits and presided over a decline in inflation, resulting in record high real wages (aka taking into account inflation) for workers is going to be replaced by a President who wants to TARIFF ALL FOREIGN GOODS by 15%, CUT TAXES FOR THE FILTHY RICH AND THE TAX ENFORCEMENT TO STOP THEM, INCREASE CHILD POVERTY AND UNINSUREDNESS by cutting gov’t programs, and HURT UNIONS which by every measure will lead to lower wages, higher prices, and more poverty and starvation.

Because a President who has pledged to sign a bill codifying Roe v. Wade (which has yet to be possible in recent memory, whatever these kids say), who enshrined the right to marry someone of the same sex or different race, who supports the Equality Act which would enshrine LGBTQ protections into the law, could be replaced by THE MAN WHO REMOVED AMERICA’S RIGHT TO ABORTION, whose Christian nationalist supporters want to END SEXUAL FREEDOM as we know it including TARGETING IVF AND BIRTH CONTROL, who wants to reverse LGBTQ discrimination law in favor of Christian bigots who hate queer and trans people, and who demonizes that community to win political support.

Ask yourself if you really think there’s no difference between the two. Ask yourself if a reasonable person given these facts would choose the latter. Ask yourself why you see so much propagandizing against the reasonable choice. Ask yourself why so many people seem to have opinions on this when they “don’t even go here”.

Maybe I’m just preaching to the choir here. Maybe people who say this inane stuff wouldn’t vote anyways. Maybe somehow we’re screwed anyways. Maybe people will stupidly vote third party and we’re fucked. Maybe this will get me attacked.

I don’t care anymore. If I have to see one more fucking post acting like we live under the fucking Evil Empire while a SELF PROCLAIMED DICTATOR is about to end the best streak of decent governance I’ve ever seen in a while, I just can’t anymore.

[callmewrinkles3]

I Can See You - DR3 x Fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: The world feels like it’s ending, but one thing is for sure. Em knows that Dan isn’t going to leave her behind, no matter what’s going on. So she’s going to follow him wherever they go.

Warnings: covid-19, pining, pandemic talk, visa worries, unrequited love.

Wordcount: 8.9k

A/N: Guess who’s back! Apologies for the delay, it’s been a weird time for us. But we’re back and we hope this more than makes up for the delay. Let us know what you think!!

March 2020

Em really had no idea how she let Dan convince her to come up to his driver room and close the door behind her. It was the first proper day back in the paddock at a race weekend, one of the if not the busiest weekend for him thanks to his home race, but even with all of that happening he wanted her. Dan wanted her right there against the wall in that tiny room, not caring that the world was outside waiting for him.

She had no idea what excuse he invented or what lie he’d said, she really didn’t care even though she should have known it so she could confirm when she went downstairs. But he was one of the few people who could make black and yellow look so good, mixed with his longer than normal hair and the stubble that had her rubbing her legs together under her dress. He carried himself with complete confidence as he walked through the paddock, Em beside him holding her iPad and ever present bag. It had her daydreaming about what Dan was going to do to her once they were back at the hotel, helped along with his cocky smile and the way he winked at her every single time he caught her eye. It made her need to bite her lip and stare at her tablet, forcing the flush that wanted to fill her cheeks down. It didn’t stop her underwear getting ruined thanks to the little touches that had her in the palm of his hand. Hours of Dan putting an arm around her shoulder during breakfast, a hand on her waist as he walked by, running his fingers along her thigh under the table when they had lunch.

When Dan said he needed to run over his schedule for the weekend with her so they’d be left alone while the boys went to do something and his family sat in hospitality she decided to believe that they’d actually be doing work. She shouldn’t have, but she didn’t regret it in the slightest. As soon as the door was shut her back was against it, Dan’s lips moving along her jaw to her neck and down to her collarbones. As she groaned out his name his hands were on her ass, lifting her against him to wrap her legs around his waist. She should have known this would happen as soon as she decided to wear a dress that morning.

She had known that Dan wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her, but she thought he would have glued himself to her when they made it back to the hotel. She never thought it would have been so soon. Em definitely didn’t think that he’d have dragged her alone when the paddock was buzzing and hospitality was full of people. But his impatience was just one of the reasons why he lifted her dress up before dropping to his knees in front of her. The other reason was the black knee length skater dress that she decided to wear.

She wanted to look good on her first day back at work. It was the first day of her first full season working as part of Dan’s team, and she wanted to look nice. The rest of the year she’d probably wear one of her Renault shirts and jeans, but at least that first day when she was working with some of Dan’s sponsors she wanted to look good and show she was there from Dan rather than the team. She really should have known that the dark material would have ended up bunched around her waist. But she didn’t think about consequences or rumours stemming from what she was wearing, or the rumours running around the paddock. She couldn’t, not when the man she loved more than anyone ever in her life was fucking her like it was the last thing he’d do in his life.

All she could feel was Dan’s lips against her skin and his hands holding her up by her ass. The noise of the paddock disappeared behind the sounds of their moans as Dan kept repeating her name while he buried himself deeper and deeper inside of her. There was no gap between where Dan ended and she began, his grin against her lips while she kissed him in a desperate attempt to keep quiet. Her fingers lightly pulled his hair, feeling the way he nipped at her lower lip in response. There was nothing as beautiful as the way Dan smiled at her just after they finished, probably moments away from being discovered but still happy and at ease with her.

They were an absolute mess and Em fully knew it, but she loved every single second of it. To see Dan so happy after the difficult first few months he’d had at Renault was everything. All she wanted was for him to be happy, and if hiding in a room just the two of them made him happy then it was perfect. Even if she knew everyone would think that they’d been having sex as soon as they stepped out of the room.

“We’re a mess,” Em whispered, kissing his temple as Dan hid his face in her shoulder to pepper her neck with kisses.

“You just say that because you’re dripping in no time?” He joked, winning a nudge from her shoulder dislodging his head as he stared up at her.

“You better clean the mess you made, sir.”

“Emmyyyyyy don’t call me that when we don’t have time to fully enjoy ourselves. But you know I always clean up after myself.”

It was one last kiss before Dan got Em back on her feet, tugging some tissues from the box on the table to clean her up. It was something he did every single time, kissing Em’s legs while he made sure she was ready to go. Once they were all dressed and looked presentable again Dan pulled Em into a hug before she could open the door. She had no idea where it came from but she wasn’t going to complain at all if they got an extra minute or two. She hugged him back, resting her head against his chest as he held her tightly and she pushed a kiss just over his heart like she did every single night before she fell asleep. The spell was broken by a harsh knock on the door, the two of them stepping apart as if they were doing something illegal.

She couldn’t help but smile when Dan kissed the tip of her nose after she rubbed the tiny trace of light pink lipstick left on his lips. One of the magical things about them was that they were able to have an entire conversation without saying a single word. It was one of those situations, giving each other a nod to know they were ready to go. Em took five seconds to straighten her skirt and grab her iPad while she shook her hair out to make it look like it was artfully messy, not like it was sex hair. Dan ran a hand through his curls and fixed his shorts and then they were ready to pretend that they’d actually been working and talking about the driver’s briefing happening in an hour. When Dan opened the door she was ready to see any of Dan’s family on the other side, but the last person Em expected to see was Michael. Considering the look on Dan’s face he wasn’t expecting to see him either. Em pretended it was completely normal, throwing a “hey Mikey” over her shoulder as she left the room with the two men in it. She also pretended that she didn’t hear the “what the fuck, mate?” coming from Michael behind her.

She had no idea if what they were doing was obvious or not and she honestly didn’t care. All she did for the rest of the day was work, meeting the CEO of GoPro and bringing him around hospitality and talking to him about how Dan would be out shortly. It was easy to pretend that the most popular man in the city hadn’t been on his knees for her earlier.

Em kept convincing herself that it wasn’t their fault for what was happening. They’d spent literally every single day together since she’d asked Dan if he was still ok with her travelling with him after Monza. Every night they shared a bed. And if all of that wasn’t enough she’d spent most of the Christmas break all over him in Australia. The same way he had the year before he took her to a rented beach house a two hour drive away so they could be alone for a couple of days. There was no people, no distractions - not even her work iPad. It was summer days spent mostly naked and in bed all over each other. Even when they were on the farm it was the two of them back together alone unless Isaac or Isabella were staying with them. When they were with family or friends they said they were just friends, a facade that barely lasted long enough for them to be alone again.

There was no going back to reality after that trip. There was no stopping what they were doing when they went back to London and Dan didn’t even attempt to go back to his apartment, ordering takeout for them to be delivered to Em’s apartment. Even in testing in Barcelona she spent more time in Dan’s room than even pretending to be in her own. They were happy to be in their little bubble, and considering the bad news that kept coming from the real world Em was more than happy to stay there.

The news about coronavirus was getting louder and louder, and even in the paddock the rumours were spreading about McLaren and Haas staff. It was going crazy and Em hated it. Her anxiety was spiking every time a well meaning person started trying to ask about it, news from Italy that Ferrari staff had mentioned sounded hellish. Dan was the only one who was really able to keep her grounded. He made the noise go away, helping her to stay optimistic even though it felt like the world was falling apart.

As soon as they were back in the hotel she could feel herself getting more and more worried. There were rumours from home that the Premiership was going to stop matches from taking place, Austria, Ireland, Italy, and Spain had all announced that schools and offices should close. The whole day rumours about the race and the season being cancelled had spread like wildfire, and McLaren pulling out because of the positive case terrified her. Nobody would confirm anything, instead waiting for last minute information to arrive which caused the rumours and speculation to get louder and louder. It felt like more and more sports were cancelling their seasons, it felt logical for F1 to cancel theirs too. But the FIA and logic didn’t go together so there was no news. She wouldn’t have been surprised if they decided to keep going.

Dan kissed her head before going to take his shower, and Em turned on the tv for a few minutes. Five seconds later she wished she hadn’t. The news was talking about rising cases and numbers of ill and dying people in new countries. It was travelling before people realised and people were dying so fast it was terrifying. More countries were telling people to go home and talking about closing borders and stopping flights. New Zealand were organising flights to get citizens home.

That’s when the fear started to kick in, but she buried it down so she could get through dinner with everyone. She wasn’t Australian. Everyone she cared about was - Dan, his family, Blake and Michael who’d basically become brothers to her in everything except name - but she wasn’t. Dan made jokes that she was an honorary Aussie thanks to her trips to Perth, but it wasn’t true. Her passport was British, she was close to running up on the time she was allowed to be in Australia for on her visitor visa, and she’d have to leave. She’d have to go home on her own. She forced herself to calm as she changed, turning off the tv and putting one of her true crime podcasts on to make her get through the evening.

Once the mains were finished at dinner, Em excused herself and left earlier than she normally would. She wanted to see them, loved having Isabella on her lap as she ate one handedly because the little girl was clingy, but she was exhausted. Em spent too long yawning over her plate and felt terrible about it. The beginning of the season was always stressful, and that plus the jet lag because they didn’t get to have time in Perth before the first race, and not knowing what she was going to do was exhausting her. The uncertainty of not knowing if she’d get to stay with Dan felt like a nightmare. It was hugs and kisses goodnight, apologising again for being tired, and Em got in the lift back up to their room from the hotel restaurant. She got into a quick shower, not bothering to wash her hair but wanting to get the grime of the day off, before putting clean underwear and a tee on.

Dan somehow always knew when Em really needed him and that night was no different, Dan opening the room door ten minutes after she’d gotten under the duvet.

“What are you doing here?” Em asked, muting the ABC News channel as he pulled his shirt off.

“We were all heading up anyway, Mum told me to go to bed cause I’m up early in the morning. Renault PR texted me a new schedule, they want me at the track for seven thirty.”

It screamed an excuse to Em, no text from Renault who would usually send it to her first, but she wasn’t complaining. He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and Em unmuted the tv, eyes staring at the rising European case number graphs.

She started to feel her heart rate rising with the terror of what was going on, but before she knew what she was doing the bathroom door was open and Dan slipped into the bed beside her, arms around her and pulling her close. Her back was against his chest while his hands were warm against her stomach and it felt like the world had disappeared. Even if it was only for a few moments.

“What did we say about you watching the news after dinner?” He murmured as he pushed kisses to her jaw. Em closed her eyes to feel the sensation, the smell of the shower gel he’d stolen from her surrounding them as she began to relax.

Dan was right. They had a deal that involved Em not watching the news at night. She could watch any true crime documentary or crime show that existed and she could sleep like a baby, but the news gave her nightmares and stopped her usually not great sleep. Dan said it was because she was so empathetic and that was why it happened. But whatever caused it, they made a deal after one particularly bad night when Dan woke to Em sobbing and shaking in her sleep.

“I know. I just…the world is falling apart. It’s terrifying. I’m scared, Danny.” It was hard for her to admit that to him and he just pulled her closer.

“It won’t fall apart, Emmy. It’s getting crazy out there but it won’t be that bad.”

“Maybe not. But they’re talking about Australia closing their borders. What if I have to go back to London alone?” Her voice cracked and she hated it but there was nothing she could do about it.

“I go back with you.”

“Dan-”

“I go back with you. There’s no discussion about it, we say goodbye to people and we go back together. But it won’t happen, right? We won’t be separated. And no more news for you, little miss. C’mon, did you take your melatonin? Let’s go to bed.”

The mix of a melatonin gummy, sheer exhaustion, jet lag, and Dan’s hugs and kisses on her forehead had Em falling asleep in no time. For a race weekend that was a miracle. When she woke up there was a moment of absolute bliss where she could forget about the world outside their bed. All she had to be aware of was that the handsome man snoring by her side was her Danny. Too soon the alarm on his phone went off too loudly in the silent room and it was back to reality and the mess that was the world. On any day she would say she wanted to stay in bed with Dan rather than go to a busy paddock. There was nothing she liked less than strangers pointing cameras and phones at them, asking for Dan’s autographs and Em getting looks from jealous women when she wasn’t in team gear. There had been one confirmed case in the paddock and probably more. She didn’t want the man she loved there. She didn’t want his family there, she didn’t want their friends there. She didn’t want to be there. But if Dan was going, she was going.

She could tell how Dan didn’t want Em or his family in the paddock either. Trying to convince everyone else to stay in the hotel or do something away from the paddock full of people was surprisingly easy. It was still unclear if there’d be a race or not so she watched as he told his family not to go. If it did happen they could come for Saturday and Sunday and the fun parts, but they didn’t need to be there for just practices on Friday. But while he was trying to convince them she could tell that he was trying to find a way to convince her too. The gears were whirring behind tired eyes, she could practically see his brain working overtime. He was overthinking all of it, but no matter what he said her answer was going to be the same.

“So I was thinking you could stay here with everyone? Pack our things in case we need to leave fast?”. Em wanted to laugh. She really didn’t think he would try an excuse like that. At least she thought that he’d try a smoother excuse, but really nothing was good enough. Especially considering she had a job to do. She was just glad he waited for Michael and Blake to get up from the table to get coffees for everyone.

“Do you really think I’m letting you go without me?” Em didn’t even lift her head from the email she was reading to respond. She knew that if she looked up he’d give her the big brown puppy eyes and he’d try convince her, so instead she swapped to the schedule for the day. Covid or not she was sticking to it till she was told otherwise.

“There’s not gonna be much to do anyway. You may as well stay here.”

“You’ve seen the news, Dan. What if there’s a case and they lock the paddock down? Or the hotel? What if we get separated and I can’t get back to you?” She bit the bitter taste of panic back as she looked at him at last, worry filling his face.

“Hey, I’m always gonna come back to you. Always. Forget what I said, ok? We’ll stick together. We’ll figure it all out later.”

“Just keep me by your side. Please? I…Danny just promise me you won’t leave me alone.” Asking it felt impossible but his smile lit her insides up in a ridiculous way.

“I’m never gonna do that.” She let the breath she didn’t know she was holding out and smiled.

“You mean it?”

“I promise.” Dan grabbed her hand, squeezing it under the table. “You know, right?”

“I know.” It was quiet between them until Em spotted Blake on his way back with two cups of coffee in his hand, needing to have conversation so the mood wasn’t so heavy. “What did you do last night when I fell asleep? You look tired.”

“Nothing really. You know what I’m like before the first race of the season, I couldn’t sleep straight away. Plus you looked too cute so I was a creep and watched you sleep.”

“Silly. Thanks, though.”

They held hands extra tightly that morning on the way to the circuit. Dan acted like he didn’t care about Blake and Michael sitting in the front seats, and if she was honest with herself Em really didn’t care about them either. The world was falling apart but Dan was holding her hand and they were together. He’d promised that he wasn’t going to separate from her or let someone take her away. She may not believe in much, but she believed in Dan when he gave his word. Especially to her.

It was probably anxiety and a little bit of paranoia, but Em spent the drive insisting she was fine staying in Dan’s driver room to work rather than down in hospitality. Her anxiety was too high for her to be happy around people so staying alone and in the quiet was better. At least until there was definite news about what was happening. Dan didn’t discuss it either, just pushing kisses to her knuckles as they drove through the Melbourne traffic. As soon as they pulled into the parking spot the just friends persona came down over both of them, letting go and Em getting into her professional mode.

Like any other Friday she took a deep breath while she walked with Blake, Dan and Michael in front of them waving to the Netflix cameras and Dan giving autographs. It was little waves from afar as they reached the black hospitality, Michael going to check the garage and make sure an icebath was ready and Blake going to check for some visitors. Dan walked up to the room with her, holding the door open and watching as she got settled in.

“You should go chat to Cyril, see if the FIA have any news or made a decision. Then there’s a PR meeting with Esteban in 20, and after that it’s ESPN, Dazn, Sky, and Channel 4. In that order.” She felt like she was put together as she talked but turning to see Dan made her feel like she wasn’t.

“Everyone’s gonna ask about coronavirus, right?”

“Probably, it’s all anyone’s talking about. PR will give you the line to use, it’ll be something along the lines of ‘as long as all precautions are taken then we should be safe to race’.” Dan rolled his eyes while shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Can I get a hug before I go?” She hadn’t even opened her arms when he pulled her close, Em standing between his legs as he leaned against the massage table.

“I’ll be here if you need me, I’m a text away Danny. But you need to go.”

“Just a minute.” It was more kisses pushed to her forehead and ear before he whispered his plans. “I’m getting us to Perth if shit goes bad. Us on the farm, you can break in the new kitchen fully cause we didn’t have long over Christmas.”

Em froze. It felt so perfect to her, the two of them on the farm together, getting to relax and be together and happy. It was too good to be true. Literally. “I can’t. My visa, I don’t have much time on it because of how long I’ve been here. I have to go back.”

“Fixed it.” She shot her head up to look at him. “Under special circumstances it can be changed to twelve months instead of three, so I applied for it for you last night.”

“What?”

“Nobody is taking you away from us. I’m not letting it happen. Blake and I talked already, if it doesn’t get approved we’re going back to London. You’re not going alone.” She knew the awe was on her face from his words. Her sweet, brilliant man who had fixed her worries without even knowing about them. Before she knew what to say his phone started ringing.

“Dan…”

“I can’t, Emmy. I can’t let it happen. I promised earlier that I’m not gonna leave you alone, and I mean it. I’m not leaving you.”

“Dan! Your phone.” She nudged him at the vibrating device, Michael’s name on screen.

“Leave it.”

“Want me to answer?” He nodded and she picked it up, holding onto him as she slid the answer bar.

“Hey Michael, it’s Em…he’s got his hands full at the moment, I’ll fill him in. We’ll meet you in hospitality in ten, is that ok? Perfect, see you there.” She hung it up, putting it back down on the massage table and holding onto Dan. “Danny?”

“Yeah?” His voice was flat and she knew that he knew what she was going to say.

“The race is officially cancelled.”

“Good.” His hands gripped her tighter, pulling her into him. Em nuzzled against his chest, holding onto the one solid thing in her world before asking what they were doing. “Five minutes of this. Then the hotel and pack. There’s a plane on standby out in Avalon to take us all home. Than the farm. I figure we’ll have to separate from most people, but we can do it.”

“Sounds good to me.” She moved a curl from in front of his eyes, realisation filling her. “That’s why you didn’t sleep last night.”

“I needed a plan.” His head was nuzzled into her neck as he spoke and she just held him to give all the comfort she possibly could. “You still should have told me.”

“I got it. You don’t need to worry, I’m making sure you’re ok. If the world as we know it is ending then it ends with us together, right?”

She should have sent him out to see what was going on, either going with him to work out what they were doing next or packing the little bits that had been taken out of their bags. She should have been finding Blake and Michael. But she just couldn't let him go. His words were echoing in her head, running wild and all she could do was kiss Dan as he held her. It wasn't even the start of a makeout session, just enjoying what was going to be one of their last moments alone. Small kisses with their lips pressed against each other, holding on together. The farm was big but if the boys were staying with them then privacy was going to be out the window in no time. There'd be no shared bedroom, nothing like they had, and she'd have to quickly get used to it. She loved the boys but if they had to stay locked down for days or weeks like the news out of Europe was saying then she might go insane.

Like almost every time they had some privacy in a paddock there was a knock on the door to interrupt them. Dan called for whoever was there to come in, not untwining himself from Em. His hands were under her shirt, glued to the skin on her waist as they were in each others arms. They needed that closeness and togetherness that only they could provide for each other. That day it didn't matter who was coming in and would see them like that. She heard the rumours from the paddock, people thinking they were together. Most of Renault knew that there was something going between them, but the team kept their secret. It wouldn't be strange for any of them to see them together. She never went around holding hands or hugging closely, but nobody was ever surprised to see Dan hanging out of her.

But it wasn't a random member of Renault staff, it was Michael who opened the door and stared at them. She'd known him for more than two years and Em knew that he wasn't happy looking at them.

"What's up? I thought I said we were meeting in a couple of minutes?" She lifted up slightly from Dan who kept a hold of her.

"Blake's looking for you." At that Dan let her go, Em pulling her black and yellow shirt down and turning around. "Not you, Em. He wants Dan."

"Cool, hospitality?" Michael nodded and Dan squeezed Em's hip briefly. "Get your stuff ready cause we're leaving as soon as we can. Will you call Mum and Dad for me and tell them to pack up? Please?"

"I'm on it, I'll tell them we'll see everyone in the hotel in an hour? That way the kids don't get too confused. I've got your backpack and the rest of your things."

"Thanks, Emmy."

"Go. Take care out there, yeah? Don't touch anything unless you have to."

It was one last hand squeeze and a wink that his heart wasn't in as he left the room, Michael following quickly behind him. Em was completely confused while she packed their things, picking up phone chargers and one of Dan's hoodies to put into his bag. She had no idea why Michael looked so mad when he saw them cuddling. As little as she liked remembering it he had literally walked in on them in China the year before. He knew that they were sleeping together but he seemed like it was a surprise to see them like that. She'd been clear about where she was going to spend the day, and Dan had insisted he'd come check on her whenever he could. Thinking about his reaction just made her sad, so instead she finished getting the bags together. Hotel, pack her suitcase, make sure she hadn't left anything behind, and to the plane. She could do this. She could do it.

A quick phone call to Grace to fill her in on Dan's plans was the first thing she did once she packed, giving the heads up for everyone to pack up and be ready. It was a last double check of everything before putting Dan's backpack on one shoulder and Blake's on the other, her handbag over her elbow. She possibly could have managed Michael's bag too, but she decided to be petty. If he was going to act annoyed when he had no reason to be then she was leaving his stuff behind.

Like they promised they were all back at the hotel within an hour, heading straight up to pack. It was as she was zipping up her case that she realised the one thing she'd forgotten. Blake.

He wasn't from Perth. He wasn't even from WA. He was from the east coast, spending his holidays with family there. And now she was planning on escaping to Perth and what was her brother going to do? She relied on him to keep her sane in work and her private life. Dan came up behind her as she pushed down on the case, staring at it.

"Emmy? What's up?"

"I...eh. What's happening with Blake? Is he coming to the farm too? Or is he going home?"

"Do you want him to come with us?"

"Yeah," It was hard to say, Dan grabbing her hand as she did. "What if he's far away and something happens to him? Or us? Is it selfish?"

"It's not selfish, he's worried about us too. I'm pretty sure he wants to come anyway, lemme call him." She watched Dan ring Blake, the phone barely ringing before Dan blurted out his plan. The smile made Em relax, Blake was coming with them. It was going to be fine.

As soon as the suitcases were packed everyone was down in the lobby, multiple cars there to bring them all back to the airport. Em was texting Cyril with one hand, getting details about how everyone was getting out of the country before it was too late. The other hand was kept by Dan, pushing kisses to their interlaced fingers the same way he did when there was nobody around. It was Blake on the front seat with the driver as they finally made it out to the airport. A private jet was there on the tarmac awaiting their arrival.

It was surreal to her that getting onto a private jet was now normal, but it was. The plane was bigger than the one she'd been on before, more than enough room for the ten of them who were flying west. Em didn't exactly plan to sit next to Dan on the plane. It wasn't that she didn't want to - of course she did - but she figured she was better off leaving that seat for Michelle so she could talk to her brother before they were separated. Joe and Grace were already sitting on the other side of the table from Dan so she went to sit in the group of chairs across the small aisle from them. But Dan extended his arm out to pull her into the empty window seat, his bag reserving her place for her. He'd made jokes that she belonged beside him, but she never thought that he'd do something like this. It wasn't until Em nodded and went to sit in that he moved his bag, grinning like a kid who'd gotten exactly what he wanted.

She was just settled in, pulling a book out to read for part of the three hour flight when Isaac ran straight to her, arms up for her to pull him onto her lap. It had been so hard to explain to her nephew that they were going home but she couldn't see him for a couple of weeks. Explaining what was happening in the world felt impossible, so it was brought down to "everyone needs to stay at home for a little while, but we won't be able to see each other till then". He kind of understood what was happening, that he wouldn't get to come to the farm for a night even though Dan and Em would be there. He wasn't going to get to see them, so he took after his uncle and climbed onto Em's lap to get comfortable and cosy while he curled up with her.

"Can we has dinner tonight?"

"Have dinner, baby. And nope, not yet. We're gonna FaceTime for a couple of weeks."

"But you home!"

"I know. But it's to keep you safe. I promise we'll see you soon."

"Cuddle?"

"We can cuddle for the whole flight, promise."

Even though it was against almost every rule that existed in the history of aviation, Em didn’t put Isaac into his own seat as the door closed and takeoff began. Instead she took the blanket that the flight attendant offered her and spread it over them before fastening the seatbelt on top of them both, Her arms were wrapped around him for extra protection as he clung to her. She asked if he was going to nap during the flight, a shake of his head insisting that he was gonna stay awake. But she was comfy and safe to him, by the time the seatbelt sign switched off his breathing was deep and even against her. Ignoring her book she snuggled down into the seat, leaning her head against Dan and made herself try to get some sleep.

—

Dan wanted to melt with happiness and love as he watched the two of them fast asleep together. Em was against him on the seats and he put his arm around her so she could curl in and sleep. His mum took a photo of the three of them, a smile on her face as she showed it to him.

He wanted it so badly he nearly hurt thinking about it. He wanted his Emmy by his side every day, curled up against him no matter what the plane or car journey was. He wanted to watch her sleeping peacefully, get to hold her hand and kiss her forehead and chase away the sadness he saw in her nearly every day. He wanted a life and a home with her, matching rings and a wedding and marriage and to see her like this with their baby on her lap, not their nephew.

It used to be something he thought of as a maybe. As a if his partner wanted it he’d be interested, but that was it. He never thought settling down would be something that he wanted. And now looking at Em cuddling Isaac he knew he’d have a footie team with her if she wanted it. She just had to ask him and he’d retire there and then for her. He’d give it up and they’d pick somewhere to settle down and he’d change nappies and run around chasing kids with her eyes and wild curls.

He wanted to ask her. It was terrifying but he wanted it. Wanted to ask her to marry him as soon as they could get a date and to start trying for a family together. Spend lockdown making plans and trying for a baby. But he couldn’t do that to her.

Em was already struggling with the unknown future they were facing because of the coronavirus, it was unfair to ask her for anything. Especially such a huge change in their lives. Everyone had said that it was a two week lockdown and then things could go back to normal. He didn’t buy it though. It might be two weeks, it might be two months. He could be back racing at any point and he didn’t know. And if things went well and they got lucky? If he had to leave Emmy behind because she couldn’t travel with him he didn’t know what he’d do. Or if he missed something important because he had to race.

He couldn’t do it. Asking for this from Em when her anxiety was skyrocketing and they were facing a life without structure was unfair. She was already trying not to spiral, there was no choice here. No good choice. Yeah there was a chance, but he could feel it in his gut that it needed to be put on hold until they were more stable. There were more important things to do. Fix Em’s visa, stay in Perth, get through whatever was going on and finding out when things could start back up. Then he could plan their future. Baby steps. He fucking hated it, he wanted to run full force into everything he wanted, but he had to take baby steps to protect Em.

“She’s gonna be alright, you know that, right?” Blake leaned across the aisle to Dan, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Her visa. She’s gonna be fine, I did some digging, this is exactly what that visa is designed for. But if it’s not I’ve already emailed about getting a plane from Perth to London. We’ll need a fuel stop in the Middle East probably, but we can make it work.” It was the we that made Dan sit up a bit and look at him.

“You know you don’t need to come with us, right?”

“I know. But who’s gonna look after your messy arses if I’m not there? Or throw a book at the wall?”

“Oh fuck you!” He kept his voice low but his mum still heard, Grace giving him a glare. “Sorry, Ma.”

“Language, there’s kids on this plane.” She was smiling at his immediate apology, Dan just thankful that the kids were asleep.

“But seriously, thanks. You don’t have to do any of this.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I was thinking about it, if there’s something going on and you can’t go with her don’t worry about it, ok? I know you’ll be there as soon as you can be but I’ll be there and make sure she’s alright until you get back. She’s not gonna be alone.” It was the most serious he’d ever heard Blake in his life.

“I’m gonna be there. If she can’t stay in Perth then I’m not staying either. I made her a promise that I wouldn’t leave her side and I’m keeping it. Wherever she goes, I go. We’re a package deal now.”

“I get it but I wanted to make sure that you know I’m gonna be there for her. She’s my little sister, like you’re my brother.” Dan gave Blake a nod, emotion hitting him. It was gonna be ok. It had to be.

The flight passed quickly, Dan chatting quietly with his parents until Em woke up. They were interrupted by Michael coming up to him for a moment to double check that it was straight to the farm when they landed. He hadn’t thought that Michael would want to be with them there, but he nodded before realising what he was doing.

Once Em woke up she snuggled against him even more, chatting with Grace and Joe about their plans while playing with Isaac and his favourite toy cars on Dan’s chest. Dan didn’t say much, watching Em as she smiled and made vroom vroom noises while playing with Isaac. Every few minutes he’d run his fingers over her hair or kiss her forehead and she’d curl into him even more. It was rare for Em to let her guard down enough to cuddle him in front of everyone, but especially after Isaac after New Years.

They’d snuck inside at midnight to share a kiss while everyone else was watching the fireworks go off. He’d grabbed her hand to pull her into the kitchen for some privacy. He wanted to get a proper kiss from his girl and cuddle her and wish her a happy new year, so they were hidden in the kitchen with Em sitting on the counter and Dan standing between her legs sharing soft kisses. They were too caught up with each other and saying they needed to go back out but it was one more kiss. Then five more kisses. Then a hug. The bangs from the fireworks and Isaac’s tiny feet meant they never heard him coming or going from there.

It wasn’t until Michelle told Dan later that night how her son went running to her to tell her excitedly “I SAW UNCLE DANNY AND AUNTIE EMMY KISSING!”. He thought it was hilarious but Em was mortified and refused to go near him around his family again. He hadn’t seen them so close since that night, but Isaac didn’t say anything. Dan wasn’t sure if he’d forgotten or was happy playing with Em, but he was glad nothing was mentioned. He just listened to the giggles Isaac made while Em tickled him, looking across at baby Isabella in her mother’s arms and feeling that longing again.

He just wished he could stay on that plane forever, stop time and be there with his favourite people. He had no idea when he’d get to have the ten of them together in one room. He didn’t know when he’d get to see his parents, his sister, his brother in law and his niblings. Not knowing when the next time he and Em would pick up Isaac one afternoon to take him out was eating him. He wanted to turn up in the afternoon after Isaac’s nap, take him out to the playground and dinner before bringing him to the farm and spending the night with him. The lazy days the three of them had on the farm, Michelle making jokes about how it was their trial run to be parents to him and him warning his sister not to say it to Em.

But instead the plane went inevitably towards Perth, Dan looking out the window as they landed. It was sunny while they taxied to the private terminal, everyone stepping off as the luggage was unloaded. Finally he hugged his family goodbye, watching as Em did the same and gave everyone an extra hug. It was to the farm, to make a plan for the next day and hold his girl because he desperately needed something normal. Anything.

He had to keep it together for Em because if he started tearing up then she would, and she’d barely be able to stop. She hated crying in front of him, crying in front of Michael and Blake in the front seat would have been unthinkable for her. So when he sat in on the back seat he took her hand from her pocket, feeling the metal toy she was clutching. Em turned her hand up, showing him Isaac’s toy car.

“He told me I need to give it back next time I see him.” Her voice was low and Dan just held her hand for the entire drive, the music playing washing over them as they got closer to the farm and safety from everything happening in the world. When they pulled up he brought everyone’s suitcases into the living room before standing outside. Em went and stood beside him, looking out over the land and holding his hand.

—

Michael could feel that he wasn’t particularly wanted on the farm. He’d said it to Dan because they didn’t know what was going on or what would happen in the future. They were probably exposed, and if any of them got coronavirus the last thing he wanted to do was pass it onto his family. He’d never forgive himself if he hurt his Nana with it. So instead he was locking himself up with Blake, Dan, and Em.

The idea of quarantining in a house that had plenty of space and land around should have been fun, especially with two of his best mates and the girl he liked staying there. Except said girl and one of said best mates were…something. He had no idea if they were a couple, if it was friends with benefits or love or what. He didn’t know what they called each other - he’d never heard them say they loved each other at least - but they were something. And for the first time they weren’t hiding whatever they were anymore. They’d been subtle for as long as he’d known them but now he was seeing them fully acting like a couple. It felt like a nightmare.

He still remembered that morning in China when Dan was running late. Knocking on the door and getting no response so opening it and seeing Em moving in Dan’s lap. He hated that his brain wouldn’t forget about her little gasps and moans and he hated even more how much he wished he was in Dan’s place right there. He tried to avoid it, he tried to pretend that he didn’t remember how she looked. He tried not to want her but it was impossible. She was a bright light and he was a moth completely attracted to her and unable to look away. Every single time he saw her and Dan beside each other he wanted to be in Dan’s place and it fucking sucked. He wasn’t sure if he regretted saying yes to her travelling with them but he couldn’t say no. Blake immediately said yes, so he had to as well.

He wanted to be the one to make her laugh, who she came to when she was cold and wanted to steal a hoodie, the one offering her his arm so she would snuggle under it during long flights. He wanted to be the one making excuses to sneak into her hotel room and inventing reasons to see her. Which was stupid and ridiculous.

But he also thought Dan was out of his mind for what he was doing with Em. He knew perfectly well what they were doing in that drivers room on Thursday, and in countless other drivers rooms. He knew that they weren’t talking about the schedule and he told Dan as much, that he needed to focus on work and driving and getting a contract for next year. The problem was Dan’s reaction to it. He insisted that he knew what he was doing and to not say a word to Em about their conversation. Fine by him, he never wanted to mention to Em that he knew what she and Dan were doing.

He couldn’t believe when it was happening again that morning as he walked in. He knew when Em was the one who answered the phone that they were together and hiding so he went up to get them moving. It was normal for them to act like there was nothing between them even though everyone knew, but finding them like that was weird. Dan being unfocused and tired on the first full day of a race weekend wasn’t something that happened. He didn’t know why, but Blake filled him in when he asked how they were going to work out Em’s visa situation. The two of them were on the back porch in the mid afternoon sun, staring out across the horizon. Home for the foreseeable future.

“Why do you think Dan barely slept last night? He spent it getting the change for her visa submitted before the DHA was overwhelmed with visas. If it’s denied then I’ve worked out how we’re getting back to London.” Blake sounded completely calm and it was ridiculous. The full impact of his words hit Michael there. Dan would do anything for Em. He put his career second and her first, he was picking her before everything and everyone else. And if Michael was honest with himself, he’d been doing it for probably a year.

“So they’re actually a thing now?”

“They’ve been a thing for like a year and a half, mate. You were blind to not see it.” They were the same words that Blake had used in China when Michael went straight to his door to tell him what he’d seen. But even though he already knew it was happening, it hurt a bit more this time. “It’s their thing, as long as it makes them both happy it’s a good thing.”

Michael wanted to be the one who made her happy. He wanted to have a ‘thing’ with her. He wanted to hold her the way Dan did, an arm around her waist and her head curled against him as he held her. He wanted to get to kiss her forehead and whisper how he felt to her, to show Em off to the world as the woman he wanted. But he had to settle for walking back into the house with Blake, their original conversation over and the two quiet.

It wasn’t until they finally got into the house and were sorting their bags that it hit him. There were three bedrooms and three beds. Either he or Blake were going to sleep on one of the couches, neither of them would make Em have to sleep out there. It was probably fairer to leave it up to chance instead of arguing, so he turned with his fist outstretched.

“Rock, paper, scissors to see who gets the bed?” He asked, but Dan interrupted before Blake even had the chance to answer.

“There’s two spare rooms, don’t fight. Nobody’s stuck sleeping on the couch and everyone gets some privacy,” he explained as if it was completely normal. Michael watched as he went back to Em and kissed her forehead before speaking again. Em looked like she was holding herself together through sheer determination and desperation. “I’ll grab our bags and put them in our room, yeah? You’ve got your carry on and handbag there?”

“I’ve got them, I’ll take them in. Want some tea before we lie down? I think we’ve still got some left from Christmas. I’m gonna need to make a list of what we need at the supermarket tomorrow, maybe do some online orders. Make a list of what one you want me to pick up.” Her smile at Dan was captivating, Michael staring and wanting her to smile at him like that.

“We’ll figure that out later, but please make me some. Thanks, Babe.”

“I’ll bring it into you, you need sleep. Do either of you want some tea, boys?”

The only thing Michael could do was shake his head no, pretending to busy himself with his backpack. There was nothing that could pass through the knot in his throat right then.

He knew Dan was a picky fuck when it came to his tea. He always insisted that nobody could do it like Em could, the three of them made jokes about how it was because she was British. But beyond all of that he never expected to see them sharing a room so openly and in front of people. They weren’t hiding and sneaking, they weren’t pretending they were just friends. They were like an honest to God couple who had been together for years.

As he watched Dan walk down the hallway to the master bedroom, Em heading into the kitchen and Blake getting his stuff together to put his things in one of the guest rooms it hit Michael like a punch to the gut. He had made a huge mistake telling Dan he was staying at the farm. But now there was nothing he could do.

Taglist: @dr3lover @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @javden @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiophobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav @neiich @luckyladycreator2 @scotlynaurora @belledawnidk

[sweetnans]

Stuck in the moment || Bakugo, K. (pt.3)

Pairing: fuckboy Bakugo/hopelessly romantic fem. reader

Trope: Enemies/friends to lovers.

summary: You made a mistake, a huge mistake. You fucked the most cocky, annoying, bastard, fuckboy you knew. Bakugo Katsuki. And that fact was against all your beliefs. Now, after the rumor (truth) spread like a pandemic virus in college you'll have to live with the stormy consequences of your acts and whatever trash was brought with it.

a/c: Hey, it's me again. Here we are in a new series I plan to continue. I really hope you enjoy it. I put my favorite man in action (bakugo) being a selfish bastard that you would love eventually and I couldn't help to put another "trope" I'm a sucker for (guardian/father figure Aizawa) I'm so sorry if that bothers you. Once again, I'm sorry if I misspelled something, English is not my first language. (Not proofread yet)

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.4 ♡

m.list

As the week passed, everything seemed quiet about the gossip you starred. Everyone knew and you knew that your act was in everyone's tongue. People's audacity sometimes surprised you, some girls came to you in the middle of lunch to ask you about it and even when you mastered faking dementia they were sarcastic about it saying to you "Yeah right" like you were lying, well, you were but, they had the guts to doubt you in front of your face.

By Thursday it was a forgotten fact. Some junior kid went straight to one of the teachers changing his suit in the changing room and, that was the bomb that dethroned you.

You were finally relieved and breathing easy through the day. The stares weren't aiming at you and Bakugo wasn't in your sight even. It was like he was banished from existence right after you left him hanging in the cafeteria.

You couldn't be more glad.

Friday, almost in the middle of the day, you made your way to the common bathrooms, and to your luck, there wasn't anyone there. You didn't have to make a line to shower or to brush your teeth, it was like all the girls from your building were conspiring about missing class. You couldn't blame them, If it wasn't for Aizawa's class, you would be skipping class too. You surely didn't realize that the fact that the bathroom was empty was only because it was almost noon.

Jirou wasn't in your training class, the group was large enough to put all of you in one class so they made sections with a limited amount of students per class to use the facilities without any capacity problem.

Luckily, Denki was with you.

Once you got into the class, you were almost struck by the invisible line dividing two sections of the class. There were people you knew who weren't in your class sitting on the left of the room while all your classmates were on the right. It felt weird, seeing Denki and Sero sitting so quietly, the absence of the obnoxious noise before Aizawa came and everyone shut up. You were about to make a joke about it when a big hand gripped your shoulder.

"You're on the right," Vlad said guiding yourself towards an empty seat, in between Sero and Denki who were sitting behind you, and Kendo who was sitting in front.

You were dumbfounded. Where was Aizawa? Why was he mixing classes?

Kendo was in the empty seat in front of you. Why were you sitting alone? You were eager to change seats and sit beside Kendo but Vlad looked like he had everything planned, including the scheme of the class.

"What's going on?" you asked your friends behind you and they only shook their heads with the same look at you.

"We were expecting you'd know" Sero shrugged with a worried look on his face.

You bit the inside of your cheek and grabbed your phone to text Aizawa. Was he okay? Was he hurt? He had never missed a class.

"Kendo, do you know what's happening?" You tapped the shoulder of the girl, and she leaned slightly over your seat.

"Aizawa called a day off at the last minute so now Vlad is here taking sensei's class but mixing it up with his own class" she whispered to your side.

"Why is he dividing us?" Denki asked joining the conversation.

"I think he is putting his class on the left side and-

Kendo interrupted herself when Vlad positioned Iida, one of the students of Aizawa's class on the left side.

"Okay, nevermind"

Shota: I'll be out of town for the weekend. See you on Sunday.

Always so talkative.

Shota: Feed the cat while I'm gone. Eri is with me.

Thank god he elaborated a bit.

You were clutching your phone in your hand, looking and trying to decipher why Vlad was putting you and your classmates on different sides of the room.

You: Vlad has this entire map of the class, and he is putting us strategically dividing us into sides. Do you know something about this?

You tapped the send button and waited patiently while the three dots appeared on the screen. He was typing.

"Bakugo, over there. Right there in the empty seat, " Vlad said out loud, making all the students turn their heads to your figure.

Why? Exactly, you guessed. The only empty seat was by your side.

Bakugo glanced at you like you were a minuscule bug in the middle of his way, ready to step on it. He gruffed and walked lazily to the seat where he dropped his gigantic backpack.

He didn't even say hello or something sarcastic like you expected. He was almost as annoyed as you with the change of plans.

Shota; No idea. The cat eats only two cups of food per day, one in the morning and the other by dawn.

That was so dad behavior.

You could hear how Denki was moving on his seat uncomfortably, probably waiting for you two to start bickering like the other day, but you were in zen mode, looking forward to knowing what was the maniac idea that Vlad had on his mind.

"I separated the group in two, we have body combat quirks here on the left and combat from afar here on the right. In pairs, you're going to improve your quirks against people with similar quirks. This mode of training will open your mind because it is one thing to know how to control your own quirk, but it's a different thing to control a similar type of quirk when it's against yourself. Understood? See you in the field"

Lord have mercy.

"Your pair is the one that's sitting by your side. I'll be rotating people from the same side when I see you've excelled"

The last announcement before everyone took their shit and started their way to the battleground had you stuck like glue on your seat. Your streak of not seeing Bakugo all week ended up gracefully having you to prove yourself against him. You could almost feel the burns and the bruises you would have on your skin after trying and failing to dodge him. There was not enough amount of training that would prevent you from ending up on recovery girl.

The class went by exactly how you expected. He was tearing you up into pieces. Every chance he had to blow you up, he used it wisely. From time to time, you had your chances too of using your quirk as fuel, making his own explosion turn against him, popping him out like a firecracker.

"What the fuck was that?" He was fuming, figuratively and literally.

You had the opportunity to bathe him in your dust while he was so busy being cocky with his quirk that he didn't realize the little sprinkles on his suit until it was too late.

"What? This is training class, right? Aren't we supposed to be combating?" You downplayed your move, but he wasn't taking it. "Oh, is it too much for you?

Of course, you couldn't keep your mouth shut.

He stomped big steps with his ginormous legs until he was in front of your small figure. It was amusing seeing the difference between both of your heights. He was at least one and a half head taller than you, and his broad shoulders and back were at least three times your body. You felt petite and scared when his shadow engulfed your own.

"Watch it, princess. If you play with fire, you might get burnt, " he said with his jaw tight, his muscles showing the fine line that demarcated his face.

"Fire? Your quirk is about explosions. I wouldn't grab a fucking ticking bomb even if they paid me" you smart-talked back glaring at him like he wasn't about to throw you out the atmosphere.

"Hey, knock it off," the red-haired friend of Bakugo yelled from the other side.

You looked at him, but he wasn't aiming his accusing eyes at you. He was looking at his friend, who had both hands clacking with tiny explosions at the side of his body. A subtle threat for you.

"Times up! Change partners!" Vlad blew a whistle in the exact moment to stop the chaos.

Fortunately, you ended up with Denki, who gave you enough time to crack your back and rub some of the bruises that Bakugo left on your body. Great, It took you three days to erase the hickeys and now you had an excessive amount of purple bruises to constantly remind you that he had another chance to mark your skin.

After the class that took a couple of hours away from your life, you carried your ass to take a hot shower. Since the class ended a little later than usual, the sun was actually setting when you walked out of the changing rooms.

You checked your phone before deciding on what to do. You didn't have many choices, to be honest, maybe lay down for the night and watch a sappy romantic comedy, the one you would die to live.

Jirou: I know you said no more parties, but they are throwing a big one that we can't miss just a few blocks away, Denki can get us in. Pretty pretty, please.

Jirou: Fuck it, I don't care what you say we are going anyway.

Your fate was already set.

Shota: Don't forget the cat.

And you had to feed the cat.

The walk to the teacher's building wasn't odd to you. Some students found it like a forbidden path to walk on, but it seemed very familiar to you. Many times, sometimes many times a day, you walk through it, fetching something for Aizawa, like his bento that he constantly forgets, or taking Eri for a shopping spree or a quick walk to the park and of course your family reunion on Sunday. It wasn't weird for you to be there and It wasn't weird for the other teachers seeing you there.

You said quick "hello's" to the janitor and went straight to accomplish your mission.

Aizawa's cat was a cranky little bitch who only found comfort in Eri, who loved the cat, and Aizawa who rescued it. You weren't interested in gaining the cat's affection, but secretly, you were more than willing to take it as a challenge. You were going to make the cat love you.

After a few scratches and bites, you were on the floor feeding the cat and scratching her head in return. The cat purred under your touch, and your ego felt the boost, and because you needed to show off your new accomplishment, you sent a video of her to Aizawa.

Shota; Cute. There's band-aids in the bathroom cabinet. Those scratches look deep.

He was a sucker for his cat, and he spoiled her so much that the cat wasn't able to eat alone. You tried to stand up twice, but the cat started growling right away. After she was full, she jumped to the couch and snuggled up until she fell asleep. You couldn't believe the behavior of the cat and how Aizawa was okay with that.

After tidying up the place a little, rearranging Eri's clothes and cleaning up her room, you decided that you needed to go to your own room and get dressed up for the night.

You weren't going to drink.

You weren't going to make out with anyone.

And if Bakugo was there, you weren't going to be near him.

That was settled.

You opened the door to get on the hallway when a loud sound startled you.

"Jeez, watch out" the voice of the person you almost knocked with the door seemed very familiar. "What are you doing here?" Bakugo said glaring at you like he was seeing the most disgusting thing on earth.

"What are you doing here?" You attacked back, crossing your arms on top of your chest after closing the door behind you.

"You know this is sensei's apartment, right? He stated matter of factly.

"Yeah, I know." You rolled your eyes at him while he squinted his.

"So what are you doing here?" He was fast throwing questions and playing like he was a fucking cop. He quirked a brow, and you could swear you heard how he tapped his feet against the floor.

"Chill out, I'm just feeding the cat while he's gone." You did a quick glance towards the door and tried to dodge him and his stupid question. You weren't giving him your time again, not after you had burning marks and bruises all over your destroyed body because of him.

"Why you?" He followed you again and grabbed your arm firmly to make you stay put.

"Why me what?"

You were tired of him trying to talk to you like you were some sort of frenemies, you didn't even know him until a week ago. Yeah, you said things about his dick and the rumor spread like malaria, so what? You got over the fact that every student and teacher knew about your fling with him. He needed to get over it as well.

"Why did he ask you and not fucking Deku or Iida?" He asked.

Oh, he was analyzing the shit. Bakugo tried so hard to play subtle, but he needed to know everything that got under his nose and over his head.

"Uhm, I don't know, let me think... because he is my guardian, perhaps?" You dripped sarcasm all over the floor, but he looked actually impressed.

"No shit, Aizawa sensei is your fucking guardian?"

Fortunately, his jaw was attached to his face.

"Yeah, like you didn't know." You rolled your eyes and shook off his hand that were still attached to your arm.

"I fucking didn't! For fuck sake I fucked sensei's daughter" he exclaimed panicking. Well, Bakugo, tall figure, broad shoulders, muscled back, the man himself, didn't panicked like the other mortals, he panicked like a god, forget the wrinkles around his face, forget eyes wide open, he panicked like the meme of spongebob where a lot of spongebobs are running from fire, that happened in his mind while his face remained stoic.

"I'm not his daughter, and please get over it." You pressed your palm in your face and prayed to dissappear.

"But he adopted you, right?" You nodded. "Then he's legally your pops"

He had a point, and even when you and Aizawa implicitly established that you weren't going to call him dad, legally and in the eyes of the law, he was your dad.

"Your thick skull just can't get it, right?" You pinched the bridge of your nose and remembered where you were standing. Outside all the teachers' doors. "Then yeah, something like that"

"Shit." He looked like he was shitting himself from the news. You couldn't believe that something like that slipped through his fingers. He couldn't believe it either. He was friends with Mina for fuck sake, the real gossiper of the entire place.

"You haven't answered my question. What are you-" you tried again.

He was standing right in front of Aizawa's door on a Friday afternoon. Students knew the unspoken codes, no one would dare to look for a teacher in his own apartment, that's what offices are for.

"How about none of your fucking business, princess" he scoffed like he owned the world.

That's it. Your civilized conversation reached its final point.

"You are a pain in the ass." You showed him your middle finger, and the sleeve of your sweater dropped low in your arm, letting the cool breeze kiss the marks the cat left on you.

"What are those scratches?" He grabbed your arm again, but this time carefully. The pads of his fingers carresing the untended wound. "Was it me? They seem hurtful"

The cocky bastard knew damn well how to fucking pretend. He actually looked concerned, and the fact that he asked you if it was his fault made you spiral in your own turnmoil.

"Aizawa's cat," you murmured, trying to focus on anything but his touch. Vietnam flashbacks of that night came like a hurricane to your brain.

"Yeah, of course he has a cat," he grunted like it was obvious. That made you laugh a little, and he was fast enough to look at yourself with a giant question mark all over his face.

"Why are you so unimpressed by the fact that he has a cat, but you seemed shocked as hell when I told you he's my guardian? Is it okay for him to have a cat but not a kid?

The subtle way of your voice coming to his system made him realize that he was holding you close and that he felt okay with that, so he completely pivoted it physically and verbally.

"First of all gross, I didn't fuck any kid, you are grown ass woman" he let go of your arm and pushed his hands inside of the pockets of his jogger.

A fucking grey jogger you wouldn't have realized he was wearing if he didn't made that movement.

"Can you not-" You looked away for two reasons. One, the embarrassment again, and two, your hormones betraying you again.

He seemed like he had a fixation with your fling mentioning it like he was a broken record.

"Second of all, he barely looks like he can take care of himself, let alone a...you," he said. "Besides, I bet that cat behaves better than you"

"You're so annoying"

"I never wondered about you before, I thought that your existence was a product of spontaneous generation," he shrugged, and before you could leave, he asked. "Are you coming today?"

The party. The question caught you off guard, like you knew there was a party thanks to Jirou, but you never thought that he would address the fact and much less to you.

"What?" Faking dementia your best friend. There was one thing going and expected to see him there and going and actually seeing him there. And now that you knew that he would, in fact, be there, you weren't so eager to show up. You could fake a cold, just as you fake dementia sometimes.

"I said coming, not cumming"

You sprinted to put your hand on his mouth. The teachers could be within the reach of an arm listening to your very casual conversation with him, and he chose to slip away those kinds of things like it was nothing.

"Shut the fuck up," you murmured and pushed him until you were outside the building. You completely ignored the janitor's look. "I heard you very well"

"So, are you or not?" The damn idiot was smiling under your hand but when you took it off he had the same fine line as lips as always.

"I don't know, why do you care" you looked beside him, watching all the students go home or go to parties made you realize that you were late to meet Jirou.

"I don't" he shook his head and looked behind his back following your stare.

Bakugo didn't know what was happening in your head, the gears running and turning to make yourself disappear and reappear in your room to change your clothes real quick with a pissed Jirou talking your ear off about messing with people's time. He instead fixed your staring line with the first person that came to his sight, following your eyes and stopping in the one and only Todoroki.

He felt something hot bubbling inside his body like it was boiling in the pit of his stomach. Without noticing, his brows dropped low in a confused state, and he stared back at you. You seemed like you couldn't take your eyes off of him, and Todoroki was, in fact, staring back.

Were you two friends? He'd never seen you with him before. Was this new? Why was it bothering him anyway?

You blushed and looked at him again, shaking your head and leaving him feeling emotions he had never had before.

Damn half n' half, always trying to take away what's his.

End note: Hey babes! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, next part is all about another party and we will see more interaction between these two shitheads.

A penny for your thoughts about this (not really but express yourself)

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[crowandmousewritingco]

Facing The Monster Head On (Pt. 1)

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x trans! actor!reader

Word Count: 2k

Rating: PG-13, there's no spicy scenes. Implied that you thought of them though

Summary: You’re the co-star of an upcoming movie, Cliff Beasts 6. You’re starring next to the -questionable- star, Dieter Bravo. Shooting the scenes was the easy part. The not-so-easy part however? Dieter's habits

Author: Mod Crow (I know it's been awhile)

Author's Note: The reader says their age. This was originally supposed to be a short little drabble for @thepromptfoundry's July prompt list. However, I may have gotten a bit carried away while writing. The prompt number for this fic (and the next part) is 10, 'Invisible Disability'. I chose one that I am intimately familiar with, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Info on PTSD here

Masterlist || Part 2

Warnings: Language, mentions of drinking, hints at rated-R thoughts, hints at drugs, drug use, addiction, and death of a parent

You had worked on a film set before, you were used to lights and procedures that happened both on and off camera. What you weren’t used to -at least not yet- was the two week-long isolation before you could even really meet your co-stars. Thankfully, yesterday was the last day of the two-week isolation and today you could finally meet the others. 

As you made your way to the full-body mirror, you thought over your mental checklist, ‘Phone? Check. Bag? By the door. Mask?’ Once in front of the mirror you patted your pockets in an attempt to find your pocket, “Check.” Looking at yourself in the mirror you took a deep breath to help calm your racing heart. Normally filming didn’t make you nervous, that’s not what was making your pulse pound. It wasn’t even the pandemic at this point. Hell, it wasn’t even the fact that this is your first Hollywood made movie. No, it was the idea of meeting your co-stars, well more like one in particular. Dieter Bravo. THE Dieter Bravo. The same Dieter Bravo who you’ve had a massive crush on for the last five years. Dieter fucking Bravo is your co-worker, he’s someone who you now have to act completely normal around.

Shaking the thoughts from your head you looked over yourself in the mirror, “You got this.” Turning from the mirror, you grabbed your bag, and headed out to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking down the hotel’s halls, you could hear the muffle murmuring of the others. As you neared the sound of voices, you felt your heart pick up. Stopping you close your eyes and take a couple of breaths.

“Hello, are you okay?” You turned towards the surprise flamboyant accented voice.

“Yeah, sorry. Just trying to…” You gesture to yourself, “Gather myself I guess.” You half heartedly chuckled at your own comment. 

Studying the taller man’s face, you could tell he was trying to figure out how to help. Before he had a chance, you stuck your hand out and offered him your name. Feeling him take your hand, you softly smiled. 

“I’m Gunther. I’m a safety officer, gotta make sure everything is done right and safe.” You watched as Gunther glanced around you, “Are you going to the bar where the rest of them are?”

Nodding, you cleared your throat, “Yeah,” You turned to look towards the open doors, turning back to Gunther you smiled, “Well it was nice to meet you Gunther.”

Closing the distance between you and the cacophony of voices you took a few more calming breaths. Walking into the room you looked around, you recognized pretty much everyone in the room. The only two you didn’t recognize were two younger looking girls, the blonde looked both unhappy and uncomfortable in the room and the brunette seemed to be thriving around all the attention.

Scoffing about the younger brunette you made your way to the mini bar counter, placing your elbows on the counter. Looking over the available alcohols you looked to the worker behind the bar.

“Excuse me,” You watched as they turned their attention to you. Without talking, they were able to convey the question, ‘What can I get you to drink?’ You stared at the worker’s face for a moment, “Oh! Vodka cranberry please.” Watching the bartender make your drink, you were unaware of the approaching person.

“Who are you? Production team? PR?” Hearing the unexpected voice caused you to jump slightly. Whipping your face towards the voice. Seeing who it was, you could feel your stomach tighten.

“I probably don’t have to introduce myself, but you’re old. So,” Watching the brunette stick her hand out, “I’m Krystal Kris, but just call me Krystal. I have over 120 million followers on something called TikTok. You, you do know what that is right?” You reluctantly took her hand and introduced yourself.

“Yes I know what TikTok is, I’m not even that old. I’m twenty-five.” Hearing a clink of glass on the bar top, you turned toward it. Picking up the glass you said a soft ‘thank you’ to the bartender. Turning back to face Krystal, you offered a more artificial smile.

“Look, it was great to meet you Krystal. But I’m going to hang out with the adults, why don’t you go back to that blonde girl over there, you two seemed like friends.” Walking past her, you take a sip of your drink, the tartness of the cranberry juice making you take a moment before your second sip. Standing there, taking another drink, you looked at the little groups that had formed.

As you stood there, looking over the groups, you thought to yourself. ‘I could just rip the band aid off and go introduce myself,’ You stopped scanning the room, your eyes stopping on Dieter. You knew all of the Hollywood drama that this man has stirred, drunk on set, high -on various types of drugs- on set, a handful of instances of disorderly conduct, and so forth; that however, didn’t change the fact that he made your heart race, your palms go sweaty, and caused your brain to start imagining some…not so PG-13 activities.

Shaking yourself from your brain you found that your eyes were still glued to Dieter, and now his eyes were glued to you. Feeling your face warm you turned on your heel once more. As you neared the bar, you downed the rest of your drink and gently sat the glass on the bar top, “Have a good night.” You murmured softly to the bartender as you made your way to the hallway once more. 

Pushing through the doors you noticed that it was empty, no hotel workers, no film crew. Just you and the feel of Dieter’s eyes still on you, was he staring because he caught you staring or could he have… 

“No. Nope. Not letting those thoughts even enter.” You softly said to yourself as you heard the doors behind you close. Stopping your feet, you looked around the hall, the emptiness of the halls a little unnerving. If the eerie emptiness wasn’t enough, the sound of the doors behind you  opened almost made you jump out of your skin.

“Excuse me?” You didn’t need to turn to recognize that voice, Dieter Bravo. Still facing away you wiped your palms on your pants. Clearing your throat you turned to face him. Noticing how close he was almost made you take a step back, but you will yourself not to move. 

“Can I help you?” As you stood there, mere feet away from Dieter, you took in his features. His actual, unedited features. The first thing you noticed about him was his eyes. In films and red carpet events he always looks so lively and happy. But in person? In person you could see the exhaustion and the stress of Hollywood. By the time you had noticed that he had spoken to you, he was asking if you were okay.

“What did you take? Do you have some extra?” Dieter’s eyes had a look to them. A look you thought you had left behind in your hometown, but you didn’t. It was a look of pure hunger. A hunger you had grown all too familiar with. You had tried to run from the look but it was becoming obvious that no matter how far you ran, you couldn’t run from that look. It felt like that hungry look in people’s eyes was always searching for you. Wanting you hurt you by any means possible. 

You hadn’t realized that you had started crying until you heard muttered curses and more ‘are you okay?’s. Pulling yourself out of your head was always hard and now was no different. Wiping your eyes, you offered a soft apology as you turned and quickly made your way to your new room. The hall was still empty as you made your way back to the rooms, but it still felt like someone was watching you or maybe they were just staring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flash Back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A jolt. That’s what had torn you from your now fading nightmarish dream. It felt like you were in a free fall and then all of a sudden… Squeezing your eyes shut you try to calm your pounding heart. After a moment of laying in the surprisingly silent air you sat up. You could feel the cold sweat that had broken out across your forehead. Looking over you check your alarm clock, 3:22 AM. Groaning you throw your feet over the edge of your bed and force yourself out of the bed. 

Making your way across your small room, you focused on the silence. Normally the sounds of yelling and fighting filled the small house. Tonight though it was quiet. You recalled that right before you had gone upstairs your mom had been fighting on the phone with Travis, your mom’s new boyfriend, or whatever he was to her. Since your dad had died, your mom was never one to stay with the same man for too long. Travis was no exception to that cycle.

Once at your bedroom door, you pressed your ear to the door. “It’s still quiet out there. Did she go to bed?” Pushing open your bedroom door you stuck your head out and listened. Still nothing. 

Stepping out into the hall you quietly made your way to the kitchen. Walking through the still air of the house, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand. Swallowing dryly, you pushed through the eerie feeling that had now wrapped itself around you. Nearing the kitchen you could hear the soft murmurs of the TV still on in the living room.

“Mom, are you still up?” You spoke just loud enough for someone in the living room to hear. However, at the silent response you stopped walking, that feeling of eeriness from moments before, now becoming suffocating. Willing yourself to keep walking, you swallowed down the palpable fear that had found its way to you in the dark hall.

As you drew closer to the living room, you spoke up once more, “M-Mom did you fall asleep on the couch again?” Rounding the wall that separated the living room from the hall to the rooms you saw the back of your mom’s head. Feeling your heart rate slow slightly, you walked towards her.

As you got closer, you could tell something was wrong. Even though she appeared to be asleep, she wasn’t snoring nor was she muttering in her sleep. Both of which she normally did. Stopping just a couple of feet away you held your breath, you weren't raised religious, but in that moment, you said a silent prayer. Once done you opened your eyes and continued to close the distance between the two of you.

“Mom if this is a joke it isn’t fu-” Once behind her, you saw why she sat there so quietly. Rounding the couch, you were quick to drop to your knees in front of your mom. Turning your head you grabbed the closest pill bottle. Turning the bottle to read the label you noticed that it had been emptied entirely. Still holding the emptied bottle, you turned and reached for the next bottle. ‘Also empty.’ With that realization you felt your arms grow heavy.

Dropping the pill bottle to the ground you turned back to face your mom. She looked morbidly at peace for once, the stress of supporting you and herself no longer carved into her features. Reaching up with shaking hands, you gently cupped her face. When you noticed just how cold she was caused a squeeze in your chest that you hadn’t felt since your dad’s funeral.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of you slamming the door close behind you pulled you from the memory that flooded your mind. With your back still pressed to the door, you feel your knees turn to jelly. Sliding down the door you felt sob after sob ripple through your now shaking body, how could you have been so stupid to believe that Dieter would be any different than any other user you’ve known. Bringing your knees to your chest and bury your face in them, hoping that the barrier between your sobs and the room around you, would be enough to muffle your crying.

Through the panic in your brain, you couldn’t help but think to yourself, ‘Great first day.’

```````

Credit to the maker of the banner, the lovely @steddiecameraroll-graphics

Pedro Character Taglist

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges @carusolikey

[respectthepetty]

I need to stress something somewhere. And I know you will be able to help or even help be observe but, I have a haunting feeling that in the clips we have of Mork reading to Day, is in the future and….Mork isn’t actually there anymore . … many reasons with the scenes set up but the main things for me is the fish. There is only one in the rank now in that scene. And the book marks in the book. 1 fish bookmark, the other an avocado? And their legs are covered with a blanket. So no 2 slippers of fish is shown……am I creating narrative things that are not there or seeing things wrong? it just feels almost a melancholy scene set up in front of the tank…… and I’m scared!!

What are your thoughts pretty please?!

Anon, I'm choosing violence first, then I'll be kind.

On Spanish TikTok, or as I like to call it Tea Talk, someone stated they saw the book's ending, and it ended with Mork dying and donating his eyes to Day.

The people of Tea Talk ripped that video to shreds. The comments section was not pleased with the mentiras (lies), and Indonesian TikTok even showed up in the fray with the actual book to prove the original poster was "Livin' La Vida Loca."

I don't know how this cookie will crumble, but let me remind you of two things:

#1 - This is GMMTV.

It gave us The Shipper in 2020 at the height of the pandemic, and I think it has been correcting that wrong since.

And it gave us Only Friends in 2023.

I wanted murder and mayhem. Instead it gave everyone happy endings except the slut because apparently he had too many "happy endings" and *morality* or some bullshit.

If you are watching Playboyy, it's what Only Friends could have been if Disney BL hadn't produced it.

I might sound salty (because I am), but I'm really just trying to emphasize that GMMTV wouldn't. Period. Full stop. GMMTV wouldn't give us a sad ending to a branded pair. It will kill a mom quick, but sad times for a branded pair? ¡Nunca! For example, how did we all know Palm x Nueng were gonna be safe and sound in Never Let Me Go? Our Skyy 2. Can't have Our Skyy 3 if it kills a ship now can it?

#2 - This is Aof

The director, producer, and screenwriter extraordinaire shot Pat (Ohm) on Christmas Eve.

He killed Papang!

Hell, he killed Singto before the series even started!

Mork (NOT GAWIN, NO!) got beat up and was hospitalized!

And yet, we got a happy ending each time.

The man wants to make use cry, but he has never ended with queer trauma to do so.

Which is why there are still two fish in that tank.

And I think the avocado is a shout out to Jimmy's love of them (because who doesn't love avocados, am I right?).

So as much as I do not think the reading scenes we keep getting are set in the present,

I don't think they are setting us up for a sad future, especially because Korea already did this trick.

If you watched To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories last year, you know that shit hurt, every, single, episode,

and because it hurt, we were too blinded by the pain to notice the happiness sprinkled throughout.

The happiness we were seeing wasn't flashbacks of their past relationship or even snippets of their current one.

THEY WERE GLIMPSES OF THEIR HAPPY FUTURE!

Korea gave us The Eighth Sense and Strongberry's Choco Milk Shake, both which had the perfect premises to fuck us over, and yet my only complaint was NO POLY!

If Korea can delivery happy endings, Disney BL can too (but not the kind it punished Boston for. Never those kind). It isn't Taiwan, and it certainly isn't Japan who is ALWAYS itching to give maximum pain. This is "soft power" Thailand, GMMTV, Aof, and a branded pair. If GMMTV brought out Gawin to get Krist and Joss back to kiss a homie, I greatly doubt it would tank the JimmySea ship for a sad ending (did you get the pun?). If there is one thing I can count on GMMTV for, it's to secure the bag. Sell merch. Sell novels. Sell a special box edition of the series. Sell the ship. That won't happen if this is sad.

Also, color-coded boys in love get happy endings.

It's science.

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 4

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse,  unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence

A/N: Sorry, but this is probably the longest chapter so far.I don't know what to write, it was an emotionally difficult chapter. There's a lot going on in it.

Part 4

After a few weeks, you reluctantly admitted that you needed Joel's help. He perfectly filled the gap that was created when neither you nor Claudia could take care of the boy. And Teddy loved Joel. It hurt you a bit, but the most important thing for you was the happiness of your son. The boy was happy when Joel picked him up when he tossed him up when he did all the things you couldn't do so well because you were smaller and weaker than Joel.

"Are you sure Teddy won't disturb you at the stables? I still have half an hour until my shift." Your friend's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

You looked at the little boy who was happily jumping up and down a few meters in front of you.

"No. Joel will pick him up in an hour."

You saw Claudia frown. You knew she loved you like a sister and your son like a nephew.

"I know what you're thinking," you murmured. "But this asshole really does his job. Since Teddy staying with Joel, he's happier and no one's teasing him."

"I know, it's just… Fuck, Y/N, this is Joel. He'll fuck off eventually."

You sighed heavily. "Let's hope not, though."

*

As usual, you arranged a place for your son at the back of the stable among the straw bales. You gave him toys and you started cleaning the horses. Teddy was always very polite. From an early age, you taught him that horses are beautiful animals, but they require respect and you have to be careful around them. Unfortunately, not everyone understood this.

"Y/N!!!"

You shivered as you heard Anderson scream. Instinctively, you took a step back and slammed your back against the cubicle wall.

"What happened Peter?"

"I told you it was for you I'm Mr. Anderson," he growled, and you rolled your eyes, but then the man was right in front of you and dug his fingers painfully into your arm.

You immediately remembered who you were dealing with.

"What happened?" you repeated almost in a whisper.

"Why you didn't let my son ride that gray mare?"

"Venus is only two years old and is too young."

Anderson snorted and finally released your arm. "I saw that Teddy sitting on her."

You wanted to roll your eyes again, but you were afraid of his reaction. You took a step forward and tried to stay calm.

"Teddy helps me get her used to the rider. He doesn't ride her. Venus is always attached and I'm by her side. Your son wants to ride her alone, and that's out of the question. Also, Teddy is smaller and lighter."

Anderson shoved you so hard that you hit your back against the stall door. Then he grabbed your jaw painfully and growled, "Are you suggesting my son is fat?!"

You felt tears welling up in your eyes and shook your head.

"Good," he spat. "And you'd better train that stupid mare so my son can ride her."

He finally let go of you and walked away, and you sighed in relief. You rubbed your jaw and looked around nervously. You hoped Teddy didn't see or hear anything. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time you fought with Anderson. He used to be so nice...

(flashback)

You met Peter Anderson right after you moved to Jackson. Before the pandemic, he was a gynecologist and was a valued resident of Jackson as a result. He was nearly fifty, tall and slim. His black hair was streaked with gray. He reminded you of Joel, but he was the opposite. Peter had a wife and child. He was kind and caring to you. He always smiled at you and assured you that he would help you with the birth.

You didn't even notice when his behavior towards you became too intimate. When he touched your breasts to show you how to feed Teddy. Or when he praised you saying his postpartum wife wasn't that sexy. You started to feel uncomfortable around him, but at the same time, you had no way to avoid him. You didn't know who to tell about your problem.

On your next visit, you decided to deal with it yourself. You felt his hand roaming your thigh and you pushed him away violently.

"Peter stop!" you growled. "You have to stop this. You have a wife and a child."

He looked at you with amusement. "What are you talking about child? I'm your doctor, how should I examine you?"

You narrowed your eyes and hissed, "I only came for medicine on Teddy's fever."

Anderson was not going to back down and nonchalantly replied, "That's why I need to check your breasts. You may have an inflamed breast. You're still breastfeeding him, and that could have caused the fever."

You felt yourself turn red with rage. "You put your hand up my skirt! Since when are there breasts?! You say I'm sexier than your wife and…"

The splash of a slap on the cheek spread around the room, and you clutched your face with tears in your eyes. You looked at Peter's angry face.

"How dare you, stray dog?! I tried to be kind and caring to you, and this is how you repay me?"

"I'll tell everyone what you did," you sobbed.

"Really? Then go and tell them that the doctor who looks after them treats you so badly. Come on. And you know what I'm going to tell them? That you're a little bitch who can't keep her legs shut. I'll say you hit on me and, that you're taking revenge because I'm faithful to my wife. I wonder who they'll believe? Me or a bitch who fucked someone in Boston."

You couldn't hold back your tears. You didn't understand why men were like this. First Joel, then Anderson. Or was he right? It was all your fault. There was something wrong with you.

Peter threw a small bottle with a clear liquid in your direction.

"Give the kid three drops and take his temperature, now get out of here. You're pathetic."

You ran out of his office and didn't tell anyone what happened.

Since that incident, Anderson hasn't hit on you anymore, but he's become rough and rude. He often pushed you roughly or grabbed you too hard, leaving you with bruises. He verbally abused you by calling you a bitch, a whore, a slut.

But of course, he never did it publicly, he was too smart for that. You felt trapped. You thought his position in Jackson was too strong.

You didn't know how to end it.

*

When you saw Joel entering the stables you shouted "Teddy! Joel is here!"

The man greeted you with a nod, but you looked away. Your son ran around the corner and ran towards Joel. He fell straight into his open arms and whined.

"Hey, 'bear cub'. What happened?"

The baby just snuggled closer to him and he looked at you concerned. You felt worried too and walked over to them.

"Maybe he's tired," you said. "Try giving him a snack and put him down for a nap."

He nodded and left the stable with his son. The little one held him tight all the way home and sniffled. Joel rubbed the boy's tiny back and tried to talk to him, but Teddy was silent. It wasn't until they were home that the boy looked at him and asked, "Can you protect mommy like you protect me?"

Joel knelt beside him. "Who am I supposed to protect her from?"

"From Mr. Anderson," he moaned sadly.

He rubbed the boy's shoulders and considered how to continue the conversation. He knew Anderson was a doctor and had a wife. But maybe you had an affair with him and the boy was just jealous.

"You need to tell me more, 'bear cub'. What exactly did Anderson do to your mom?"

The boy grabbed his jaw with his hand and said, "He's holding her like that and yelling at her. And he pushed her... And mommy hit the wall... Or he says bad words to her... Sometimes he grabs her hand and... Mommy has then a bruise. Mommy is afraid of him and doesn't like going to him..." The boy sniffed and a few tears ran down his cheek.

With every next word from Teddy, Joel made sure that Anderson was abusing you. He was furious with this guy and didn't understand why you didn't finish it. Didn't anyone in Jackson want to help you? And the worst part was that Teddy saw it.

Joel pulled the boy close to him and put his arm around him protectively. "Don't cry, 'bear cub'. I promise I'll talk to Anderson and tell him to be nice to your mommy."

Teddy snuggled closer to him and grabbed him by the shirt.

For the next few hours, Joel felt like a caged wild animal. He had to be calm, for his son, but everything inside him was boiling. When Ellie finally came home, he immediately ran over to her.

"Stay with Teddy and stay at home."

The girl looked at him surprised. "But what happened?"

"I have to do something." He grabbed his jacket. "Ellie,  this is really important."

Teddy ran over to them and hugged the girl, shouting "Hi", but seeing Joel leave he quickly said, "Are you going to help mommy?"

Joel smiled at him. "Yes, 'bear cub'. Stay with Ellie and be good."

Before the teenage girl could ask anything, he was already outside. He decided to go to the bar first since it was the time most of the men gathered there. And he hit the jackpot.

Anderson was sitting at the bar drinking whiskey. As usual, he was wearing a shirt and tie, and everything about Joel was going crazy. A fucking asshole pretending to be an elegant doctor. He wasn't going to play. He walked quickly to Anderson, ignoring the surprised look from Claudia, who was standing behind the bar. He grabbed the man by the arm and turned him around.

"What?"

"Fuck off from Y/N!" he growled. "If you touch her again, I'll break your arm."

Anderson snorted and looked unfazed. He thought he was in no danger. He lowered his voice to a whisper and asked, "That little bitch complained to you?"

Joel released him and took a step back, only to gain momentum and punch Anderson in the face with all his strength. The man screamed in pain and fell from the chair to the floor and clutched his nose.

"Fuck! You broke my nose you psycho!"

Joel laughed. "It's good that you're a doctor... You'll be fine." Then he kicked the man in the ribs.

He was about to strike another blow, but some men grabbed him and pulled him away from Anderson.

*

You were just leaving the stable when a panting Claudia ran up to you.

"Y/N!!!" You froze at the nervousness in her voice. At first, you thought something had happened to Teddy. "Joel went crazy... He broke Anderson's nose!!!"

Your heart sped up and your breathing became ragged. Many thoughts ran through your head, and you realized pretty quickly that there was only one reason for Joel's behavior. Teddy must have seen Peter attack you and tell Joel. You looked at Claudia and tried to swallow, but your throat was completely dry.

"Where are they now?" you croaked.

"In Maria's office." You nodded your head and wanted to move, but your friend grabbed your arm. "What happens?"

"I'll tell you everything, but now... Now I have to help Joel."

You couldn't believe you said those words and you were just as shocked as she was. She finally let you go, and you ran to the building that served as something like a city hall. People met there, discussed problems, planned activities for the future, and made important decisions.

You burst into Maria's office without knocking and quickly noticed Joel sitting on one of the chairs. Tommy held his shoulders tight. In the second chair was Anderson with a bloody nose, and across from them was Maria. This scene was a bit funny. They looked like two teenagers in the principal's office, but you had no reason to laugh. As soon as you entered, everyone's eyes focused on you. Anderson spoke first, of course.

"There you are. Tell that lover of yours that I didn't do anything to you."

Joel immediately tried to jump up. "Shut up your mouth, or I will break your jaw!"

You felt like the world was spinning around you. Two men who hurt you were in the same room, and you had to choose between them. You saw Maria say something to you, but you didn't hear what. You wanted to run away. You wanted to leave Joel and Anderson behind. You wanted them to kill each other. But then you thought of Teddy and shouted, "Enough!!! I've had enough!" Everyone suddenly fell silent and you looked at Maria with tears in your eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't take it anymore. Anderson sexually harassed me when I came here. When I rejected him, he began to abuse me. Sometimes he hit me, sometimes he insulted me ... I didn't say anything because... He's a doctor and everyone needs him."

Maria walked over to you and put her arm around you.

"She's lying," Peter moaned.

The woman gave him an angry look. "Be silent!" She looked at her husband. "Tommy, take him home. He's not allowed to go outside. I'll take action later." She led you to the door. "Joel, stay here. I and Y/N will be in the next room."

Joel didn't look pleased. He wanted to make sure you were okay, but finally nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

*

You told Maria everything, and she listened to you patiently and looked at you sadly. When you were done she said.

"Y/N, no one has the right to act like this. It doesn't matter that Anderson is a doctor... For God's sake, he should care more about everyone."

"I thought no one would believe me," you whispered.

Maria squeezed your arm. "I believe you." She sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Stay here for a while, I need to talk to Joel."

You nodded your head and watched her leave the room.

*

Maria looked at Joel and gasped. "I don't know what to do with you. I want to throw you out of town, but at the same time, I'm grateful to you. Though I don't understand why you suddenly decided to play a knight."

Joel jumped up from his seat and glared at her.

"Because Y/N don't deserve to be treated like this and my son doesn't deserve to be worried about his mom."

Maria frowned. "And suddenly you're the one who protects and cares for her?"

"What do you mean?"

"You hurt her. You took advantage of her. In the old days, some courts might even consider it rape!"

Joel winced and took a step back. "I didn't rape her... She wanted it. She was an adult and she didn't say no."

Maria looked at him with contempt. "Is that your explanation? You are and were much older than her. You saw how naive and in love with you she was. Just because she didn't say no, that she didn't scream, didn't run away, doesn't mean she wanted it, that she wasn't scared, hurt... Besides, it means Anderson had a right to bully her too because she didn't object."

"This is not the same!" he growled. "He had no right to lay a hand on her."

Maria laughed, and his fury flooded over him. "Why? Explain it to her. The man she loved hurt her and didn't respect her. Why should other men treat her better?"

Joel's shoulders slumped. Was it really like that? The way he treated you changed your life forever

"I didn't mean to hurt her... I was different."

"Possibly, but you seem to have gone back to your old ways. We don't break other people's noses here."

"What are you going to do? Let's get this over."

"I won't do anything. Let Y/N decide what to do with you."

Joel opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He could fight clickers, robbers, or FEDRA without fear, but putting his fate in your hands. It terrified him. You had your revenge.

"Maria... Please."

"I'll talk to her and tell you what decision she made."

*

You looked at Maria as if she had just told you that aliens had landed in the city.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. You decide his fate. He's to go to a cell, he's to be kicked out of town."

"No," you whispered.

"Isn't that what you wanted? He broke your heart and you hate him."

You shook your head and replied, "I don't hate him for breaking my heart, but for the way he did it. And you're right, I wanted to throw him out but... That was before my son loved him and before I met Ellie. If I kick out Joel, I'll punish the kids too."

Maria sighed. "At least a cell for two weeks?"

"NO." The woman was clearly shocked by your answer. "I'm sure Teddy asked him for help, if I lock up Joel, my son will think it's his fault."

"You're too good."

You shrugged. "Let him take over my stable duties for the next week, I have to leave for a few days." Maria nodded and you just left. You wanted this day to end.

*

Joel opened and closed his mouth. Then he finally managed to say, "Nothing? Just a stable?"

"Yes," Maria repeated. "Believe me, I'm not enjoying it at all."

Joel was no longer paying attention to her. He grabbed his jacket and quickly headed for the door, but a woman's voice stopped him.

"Joel!"

He looked at her annoyed. "What?"

"Leave her. She doesn't want to see you."

"Maybe she doesn't want to, but she needs to hear something from me."

Joel ran outside. He must have found you and it didn't take him long to catch up with you.

"Y/N! Wait, please."

You looked at him with tired eyes. You were emotionally exhausted and didn't know if you could handle another asshole.

"What do you want, Joel?"

He walked over to you and stopped some distance away. You saw that he was nervous.

"Thank you for not kicking me out."

You shrugged and murmured, "I did it for Ellie and Teddy."

He nodded and licked his lips. He took a deep breath, looked you straight in the eye, and said. "I'm sorry... For everything. For today and... Especially for Boston. I know I made you thought that Anderson has the right to treat you like this."

You stared at him blankly. You didn't feel any better thanks to his apology. It was as if everything had come too late. The losses have already been done.

"You think you fixed everything because you hit him?" He shook his head on 'no'. "Good, because then you'd be a complete moron."

Joel winced slightly. "If I could turn back time."

"But you can't!" you growled. "And I don't want it." He looked at you surprised. "Then there wouldn't be Teddy. I don't regret having him. I just don't want him to be like you."

Joel swallowed hard and looked down. "He won't... He... He has the same goodness in his as you have. And I'll do anything that he not to be like that. Even if I have to pull away."

You were so surprised by his confession that you stepped closer. "A few weeks ago you begged to see him and now you would give it up?"

He nodded and looked at you sadly. "If it was for his own good. I don't want him to be like me. I really regret what I did to you."

"I don't want your apologies or regrets," you said confidently. "I want to know why? Why did you do this to me?" You tried to keep your voice confident, but it trembled at the last question: "What's wrong with me?"

Joel gasped sharply and took a step towards you. He stopped himself from hugging you at the last moment. "There's nothing wrong with you," he said firmly.

"Why?" you repeated the question.

Joel closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, you saw something new in them. He was vulnerable… As if he really decided to open up to you.

"You were beautiful, smart, good and so young... You still are, but in Boston, you were like a delicate flower that grew in a dump. And I was garbage. And for some inexplicable reason, you chose me..." He sighed heavily and gently brushed your cheek. "I tried to push you away. You know it. I was myself. Maybe even worse. Remember when you used to bring me cookies and I never thanked you for it." You nodded. "I thought it would make you stop doing it and make you realize that I don't deserve it. But you were relentless." He paused for a moment, knowing he was approaching the worst part. "That night... Part of me wanted to hold you in my arms and treat you like a delicate flower, but the alcohol awakened that animal side in me. The one that wanted to destroy you. Hurt you so much, that you would never again, come near to me. And it did. You left and I…” He snorted and shook his head at the memory of what an idiot he was. "At first I was glad you were avoiding me, then I realized you weren't anywhere in Boston. I even paid "old Robert" for the information. He told me you left town with Claudia and some other people. I know you won't believe me but... Then I thought you would die because of me, and I added you to the rest of my sins, and then I saw you here, alive." He smiled slightly. "And all I focused on was that if you're alive, I haven't done anything wrong, but that's not true. If I wasn't such a monster in Boston, you wouldn't fall into the arms of another monster. Y/N, I don't know if you'll ever forgive me, but I promise I'll never hurt you again."

You didn't know what to say. It was all too much. You had to clear your head. You finally whispered. "I'm going away for a few days and I'm taking Teddy."

Joel looked at you worried. "Where? Alone?"

You nodded your head. "To a safe place. To friends who live out of town. They're like grandparents to Teddy."

Joel looked at you sadly and nodded his head. "All right."

Once upon a time, you would give everything to make him look at you like that. With those puppy eyes, but now... Now you just wanted to be away from him.

"I know we're going the same way, but could you..."

Before you could finish your sentence, he said, "I'll take the long way. I'll go around."

You nodded and turned away from him, walking briskly forward.

Joel stood there for a few more minutes and watched your silhouette get smaller and smaller until you disappeared completely. And he felt that painful grip in his chest. The one he hadn't felt for many years and understood that he would do anything to make you forgive him.

*

My baby,

Wide eyed and pretty

You're a body I could hold

You are a good woman I'm told

I made a lot of mistakes,

And you know some of them made me

You may think me a fool,

But I am a good man too

I am a good man too

Sanders Bohlke - My Baby

Part III

Part V

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[thrashkink-coven]

someone asked if I live with my parents, in regards to how I have such a large altar, and how they might feel ab it. I was working on a long post ab it but then it vanished into the stratosphere so idk what that was ab or where it went.

But to answer the question, making an incredibly long story short, I do not live with my parents, I live with my partner and a couple roommates.

Tea time :) ☕️ Hot piping tea time besties!!! 🤩

My mom used to be somewhat accepting of my transition and identity. She helped me in the medical care system and even got me testosterone (although she always seemed a bit iffy). However after she met her current partner that all fell apart. He is extremely, and I mean EXTREMELY Christian and extremely controlling. This man burned my bfs hoodie because it had a sigil on it. He red faced SCREAMED (and I mean SCREAMED) in my face that I was going to hell for being trans, that I was disgusting and that he didn’t want me anywhere near his kids. After which, my ✨mother✨ blamed me for pushing his buttons too much (by being trans) and told me she would no longer support my transition. She told me that she would rather burry me in the ground in the event that I lost my life to suicide than deal with having a trans kid. I will never forget that.

That was during the first lockdown at the height of the pandemic, so I was trapped in that house and it was torture. When I say that man is extremely Christian and conservative, I mean it. He forced me and his kids to watch religious videos every Saturday, which were basically just dudes screaming at you that you’ll go to hell if you sin over stock footage of clouds. He would try to guilt trip me for not wanting to participate. (Not to mention he contributed very heavily to my eating disorder by trying to force us all to be vegan and taking away all of my safe foods, despite cooking steaks for himself every night. If I could use one word to describe that man it would be “Hypocrite”. I was constantly anxious and starving, holy shit I could write an entire book about how terrible living in that house with that man was and how betrayed I felt by my mom for putting me through that)

The last straw for my mom was when I expressed to my gender therapists that I really want and need top surgery. She acted like I was springing it on her out of nowhere despite us having conversations about it since I was 14. She told me that I would not be recovering from that surgery under her roof and that it would upset her partner too much. Soon she started making little comments about how disgusted she was in the changes testosterone was giving me, how my voice was getting deeper and how I was gaining muscle, and I became terrified that she would try to force me to detransition.

For me, the final straw was after me and my mom had an argument about money (she took it from my bank account without asking and got mad when I asked for it back) as punishment she decided that I would start having to pay rent for my room in the house. I told her that I would not be paying to live somewhere where I cannot feel safe being myself or bringing my partner around. She told me to either get over it or pay up.

As soon as I turned 18 I started looking into programs in my school that help young queer people who are facing potential homelessness find housing. My mother never explicitly kicked me out (she’ll still say that to this day) but she made it impossible for me to stay. I do believe that her partner was actively trying to systematically get me and my older brother out of the house so he could further isolate my mom. He was the one that told my mom that I was manipulating her into “letting me be trans” by pretending to be suicidal. Yeah. Seriously. And to be honest, it’s fucked up and sad but I also see my mom as a victim due to some other things I won’t mention here (when I say controlling I mean CONTROLLING) But the abuse she went through does not justify her role as my abuser. As much empathy and understanding I have as to why she acted the way she did, I still don’t accept that behaviour. Constantly hearing about how you’re an abomination and how God will surely destroy you starts to take a toll after a while, especially when you’re not allowed to leave the house.

Through my efforts I landed a job but I still didn’t have enough money for even the smallest bachelor pads.

One night after having an extreme meltdown I just… ran away. I went to my bfs house because I didn’t know where else to go, but I was fully prepared to walk to a homeless shelter. I am so incredibly lucky that he and his mother are amazing and understanding people because they embraced me with open arms. They gave me a place to stay and never pressed me about money. I have never gone back to my mother’s house since. If it wasn’t for them I would not be alive right now. They genuinely saved my life and I am forever grateful to them for that.

After my bf and I finally got our own place after living with his parents for nearly 2 years , my mom decided that time passed is equivalent to an apology, and wanted to rekindle our relationship. However, after she tried to visit my place and was met by my roommates who are also all trans, things didn’t go her way. She kept asking for my dead name and misgendering me. My roommates stood up for me and told her that she should stop misgendering me and have some respect, that they didn’t know anyone by that name, and that it’s not cool for her to still be calling me that.

My mom gave me a very angry phone call, telling me that my friends are disrespectful and that they should know that she’s the only person allowed to disrespect me because she gave birth to me. Unfortunately for her that is not the case.

My response to that was this:

and her response was this:

So it was what it was. She tried to withhold my phone plan from me as punishment because it was the only thing left that I relied on her for anymore. I said fuck it, got a new phone plan and continued on with my life.

I’ve tried to have conversations with her to reach an understanding hundreds of times in the past, countless letters and one sided conversations, she was never interested. It is what it is. We haven’t really spoken since then and I’m content with that. Believe me, I have said all I could possibly say.

In terms of my paganism, my whole family subscribed to a certain genre of black conservative Christianity that sees all indigenous forms of spirituality as evil. I don’t know how much they know about my craft but I know they hate it, and that’s fine. My mom hates my dark art and wanted me to use my ✨talents✨ to make Christian art. The only person in my family who even somewhat understands me is my older brother and we have a good relationship. I am no longer concerned with trying to please people who don’t see me as a person. Those who are real will stick around, and those who won’t, wont.

I know that they probably think I’m lost and broken and using demons to fill the void, and they can think that. One thing I want to make incredibly clear is that I do not harbour resentment towards the Christian God, Christianity or Jesus Christ for the terrible actions of his followers. I came to peace with and forgave him long ago. I love him. My being a Luciferian is not revenge against my mom or God. That God has always been there for me and supported me for who I am through all of this, and he still does.

Since I was a child I’ve always been told that I don’t know who I am, that I can’t think or speak for myself, and since I was a child I have always remained 10 toes down on who I am. They won’t believe that I’m really trans until the day I die, they won’t believe that I lived a beautiful and fulfilling life as a devotee of Lucifer because they cannot fathom that I know and love myself. Oh well, they say success is the best revenge.

I love my family and I always will, but for their comfort and my safety I keep my distance from them. I’m pretty damn sure they wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me anyways with all their paranoia about the devil.

Funnily enough Lucifer has been excellent bigot repellent for me. He’s always protecting me from people who would hate me anyways. If my paganism is such an abomination that it prevents my past abusers from hurting me more, then that’s a bonus in my eyes. Stay the fuck away from me if it bothers you so much, we don’t have enough in common to have a productive conversation anyways. If ever my mother came to me honestly and sought true redemption, I would certainly forgive her, I don’t enjoy being estranged. But that would take effort and care on her part, and that simply does not seem to be her biggest priority right now, it never was and I never was. It izz what it izz 🤷‍♂️

So yeah, tldr, I definitely don’t live with my parents lol.

[mancer-in-the-abbey]

This coding course is kicking my ass, have some general ghoul headcanons, one for each of them

Phantom/Aeon: New Bug, as ever, strikes me as a “fake it till you make it” kind of guy. As such, it kinda makes me feel like he’d be a theater kid if given the chance, and although I think he’d get a kick out of musicals (Phantom of the Opera, ha ha), I think specifically he’d be into improv. Like, there is no chance his comfort show ISN’T Whose Line Is It Anyway. The minute someone introduced him to D&D, it’s over for everyone.

Aurora: I think she has a soft spot for classic opera pieces. It really lets her go all out in a technical sense, use her range to its fullest extent. It’s stereotypical, but her favorite aria is the Queen of the Night. It’s so damn fun to do this quick jumps in scale in such quick succession!

Sunshine: MASSIVE sweet tooth. Like, yes she knows her corporeal form is fragile and she needs to take care of it, and she does to some extent! She keeps very fit! But fuck if she doesn’t just devour a pound cake if she’s given the opportunity. Will absolutely get a hell of a stomach ache after, but in her mind it’s worth it. Hey, at least she takes good care of her teeth to match!

Rain: A fan of Dancing With The Stars! Though he himself is not known to be all that steady on his feet, he loves watching people who aren’t traditionally considered athletic be put into a professional dance setting and either crash and burn or get better over time. He honestly doesn’t care about the celebrity aspect in the least, barely pays attention to the slice-of-life interviews before the dances themselves, but MAN does he love to pick apart someone’s performance and try to guess what the judges will give before the scores are announced.

Cumulus: Wasn’t initially a gamer, she more preferred to watch those who were have fun in the ghoul common room, but she didn’t have much else to do during the pandemic so… yeah, she just CONSUMED everything Rain sent her way. Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, Portal and Portal 2x Hades, the entire Resident Evil franchise up to that point, even DOOM Eternal funny enough. She’s kept up with since then, but still has massive fondness for Animal Crossing.

Cirrus: Loves gem stones and precious metals! She has a real crow instinct but is kinda picky about it, like she’ll get fixated on a shiny gold hair clip with rinestones on it but if it feels too cheep in her hands she’ll lose interest entirely. Even still, her jewelry collection is LARGE. One expensive magpie, that woman, but she shares with the other ghouls if they ask so it evens out.

Swiss: It doesn’t fully mesh with go-to interpretation of him but I once read a headcanon that posited Swiss being able to replicate sounds to an uncanny degree and I am bringing it back here because I love it so damn much, kinda plays into being a little bit of every ghoul. I like to think if you startle Swiss he’ll forget to use his normal voice and just goes straight to the sound effects board. Phantom accidentally pops in from nowhere? Sudden air horn blast. Dew tackling him to the ground? The sound of a car going past you. Mountain stepping on his tail? Fire alarm. Someone kicks him in the balls? Microphone feedback. For a while.

Mountain: He likes eating rocks and precious metals. It’s already a thing with some subsets of earth ghoul, but like for Mountain it’s at a higher level. His preferred snack is those semi-precious rocks you get at tourist attractions, he will just chow down on it like popcorn. When that’s not available, however, he uses salt to sate the the itch. Dude keeps a salt lamp in his room that he uses as a salt lick when no one’s looking. This also extends to novelty items MADE of salt. Those Himalayan salt shot glasses? One-use only. Go straight into his mouth.

Aether: One of those tricks Omega showed him during era 3 is how to use your own quintessence on yourself, something generally considered to be very hard to do amongst quint ghouls. Aether has tweaked and expanded on this ability and has learned how to… basically hotbox but with quintosis. Not something he does often cause it’s draining but sometimes it’s nice to unwind on a near molecular level. Among the few he shares this ability with are Dew, Mountain, and Swiss. He’ll teach the new bug when he feels he’s ready for that kind of power…

Dewdrop: is actually a really good cook! Like really good, actually. He got really into watching Food Network when he first came to Earth which evolved into watching older cooking shows. This further evolved into experimenting with his own recipes. He’s also taught Mountain everything he knows about how to handle the kitchen, so they tend to share cooking duty between the two of them. No one’s complained yet!