#marshal is bi fuck you

[softgrungeprophet]

Radiant Black Rundown

(aka: Nadia is going to make a rec post for something that isn't Spider-Man or Spider-Man adjacent for once)

(aka "Please read Radiant Black")

(Radiant Black #10)

This is all subjective, obviously, but for me...

Positives:

All the characters are adults, ranging from their 20s (Eva), to 30s (Nathan, Marshall, Satomi), to 50s or 60s (Wendell)

The characters are specific. They have specific personalities, backgrounds, priorities and expertise. They are people with emotions and flaws and lives.

The main characters (Nathan and Marshall) are codependent vaguely homoerotic best friends with a slightly imbalanced dedication to one another (unrequited love?), plus some jealousy (drama!)

Despite occasional clunkiness, does a decent job at mixing humor and seriousness, angst, drama, etc. "Are you an angel?" "No, ma'am, I'm a millennial" did make me laugh.

Diverse characters and creators: Some co-writers include (but are not limited to) Cherish Chen, Melissa Flores, streamer Meghan Camarena, and Chicago local Laurence Holmes, and they're all very skilled at collaborating with each other and with Kyle to breathe life into the characters and their motivations.

And all of the Radiants are brunettes! (lol)

Not a lot of crossovers (basically none) despite being part of a larger universe (the Massive-verse), and not a ton of issue hopscotch (still some).

The stakes are often very personal (most of the time). These characters may have to save the world but they're also all kind of fuck-ups in some way, and are still mostly dealing with their personal and private lives and loved ones, which grounds it.

"Officially," only Eva is queer (afaik) but to me, Marshall also reads as pretty strongly gay or bi-coded, and Satomi gives off some kind of gender thing (to me). With a mix of actual queer WLW/lesbian romance in Radiant Pink and some interesting subtext in the main Radiant Black comics, plus whatever Radiant Red's got going on, I think there's a lot to sink your teeth into in that regard, or at least to go "AUGH" about LOL

Also there's real cool art—

(Radiant Black #17)

(Radiant Black #10)

(RB #10 again — issue 10 whips ass, okay? I have the UV-reactive fluorescent ink printing of this issue... and I don't own a blacklight, unfortunately 😂)

(Costa is the main artist for all of the above panels, with colors by Triona Farrell (#17) and Igor Monti (#10), but I'm a big fan of Ferigato's pencils on the Marshall-focused issues too, plus Lafuente and Muerto's work in Radiant Red is killerrrrrr)

Neutrals:

All the Radiants' eye markings are animated/emotive (except Yellow). Personally, I'm mixed on expressive masks and helmets. (Big shock, I know 😂) I don't dislike the animated eyes, and I get why they're useful, but I prefer the less animated helmet "faces" so far.

Cosmic world-saving stuff — If you know me, you know I tend to prefer street-level superhero stuff, but I think the high-stakes action works in Radiant Black because it's still grounded in the personal and still has that street-level element, so I'm not too bothered by this. (I also like sci-fi, which helps)

Negatives:

Some people over-emphasize just how groundbreaking and different Radiant Black actually is. Like I get it, hype it up, but sometimes it is a little funny to be like "this has never been done before!" and it's like, idk about that 😂

Occasionally it does lean a little into referential humor and quips, but it's got plenty of actually funny jokes, and the dialogue flows naturally most of the time and isn't just a vessel for snappy one-liners, thank God. But if you're like me, sometimes you may roll your eyes.

It takes some time to find its feet (imo), but even then it's still generally engaging. To me, issues 9 and 10 are where it really hits its stride and not long after that is where it takes off running.

There is some issue/series hopping — While there's not a ton of issue hopping, there are some minor details that make more sense if you have read some of the auxiliary issues/miniseries. Luckily, it's not a huge amount of reading.

Prison is where you go to atone 🤡 I didn't like it in Spider-Man: Redemption and I don't like it here lol but Eva seemed unimpressed in volume 4, so I'm hoping it'll have some nuance as I catch up.

Wonky numbering. It's not too bad (and if you read the trade paperbacks, it's a non-issue) but there is a plot thing that happens that means all the issues after #24 (until #30 and #30.5, afaik) have special numbering

(Radiant Black #11)

Radiant Reading List:

Note: here is a really great, in-depth, incredibly precise Massive-verse reading list put together by a fan — It has issue-by-issue and page-by-page instructions for the real chronology sickos out there, and is just a generally fantastic resource/timeline reference.

But here is my personal (way less precise) reading list for Radiant Black plus its auxiliaries, minus all the other stuff:

Radiant Black v. 1 (#1-6)

Radiant Black v. 2 (#7-12)*

Shift #1-4 (not #5)*

Radiant Red (#1-5)*

Supermassive (2022)**

Radiant Black v. 3 (#13-18)

Radiant Black v. 4 (#19-24)

Radiant Pink (#1-5)***

Supermassive (2023)

Radiant Black v. 5 (#25-27.5)

Radiant Black v. 6 (#28-30.5) (issues #30 and #30.5 will be out in October 2024, so volume 6 tpb probably not until the holidays if I had to guess... unfortunately for me 😂)

Shift #5****

Supermassive (2024)****

Notes:

*Okay, so.... parts of Shift and Radiant Red technically occur simultaneously w/ each other and also overlap some w/ Radiant Black #9 and #10, so you probably actually want to stop at Radiant Black #9, then do Shift and Radiant Red, and then return to Radiant Black at #10, but in my opinion, all that really matters is you read Shift before Radiant Red, whether you slot them between Radiant Black issues 9 and 10, or just read whole trades at a time, whichever you find more practical or convenient. I... did both lol

That being said: don't read Shift #5 until… later, as it was a very recent addition for the Shift collected edition and takes place significantly later in the main plot.

**Supermassive 2022 is a pretty simple single issue crossover mini-event/annual with Inferno Girl Red and Rogue Sun, and doesn't really require reading the others' stories nor does it really affect any real plot, but it does offer a tiny bit of context to Radiant Black's main storyline that I found kind of crucial lol — like is it Necessary? No. Does it clarify one (1) little detail? Yes.

***Radiant Pink can probably be read at any point after Radiant Black issue #12, but I happen to be reading it in this order lol

****The in-depth Massive-verse reading guide I linked earlier says to read Shift #5 in the middle of Radiant Black #28.5 and Supermassive 2024 between Radiant Black #29.5 and #30, so ideally... during volume 6, but since 30 and 30.5 aren't even out yet... well. Good luck!

After 30.5 is out I believe the Radiant Black team will be taking a hiatus iirc, which is reasonable.

There is not yet a Radiant Yellow mini, and idk when one will be released. There have been a couple of delays in the Massive-verse over the past year or so, for a variety of reasons (it's massive!), and I'm guessing Yellow's solo got pushed back. Hopefully it will be out sooner rather than later but we'll see! Obviously the teams creating all of this have been working their asses off so, you know, it happens LOL

Personally I'm subscribed to Kyle's newsletter, which is probably one of the best ways to get updates. It can and often does contain spoilers, but you can do what I do and just scroll really fast past them lol

In practice you can just mainline Radiant Black and ignore everything else and be fine, but I think the other Radiants, Shift and Supermassive offer useful context as far as character motivation and juicy stuff like that goes— Especially since Shift deals with the origins of multiple antagonists, and Radiant Red has some main plot implications for Satomi. Useful to know, etc.

Anyway. That got long, but hopefully not too long to be useful.

Stay Radiant ⦵

(Radiant Red #3)

[elvishdemigod]

It's funny how I see people say Percico is a nasty ship because Age Gap and cousins, but then there's an equal amount of Lukercy shippers as there are anti-Percico (as far as I've seen)

Firstly, If we're going by the most recent books and what Rick has said (because the guy is screwy with his timelines and ages), there's only like a 2ish year gap (Nico being 15 in TS&TS, and Rick saying Percy is 17 until stated otherwise). Meanwhile Luke was a legal adult, 18/19 to early 20s, when he met a 12 year old Percy. So a 2ish year gap is nasty, but a tween/teen x adult is fine?

Hel, Luke canonically is a predator. Percy says Luke had a crush on Annabeth, who is not only the same age as Percy, but Luke had also HELPED RAISE All the kids he manipulated to his side. Tried to manipulate Annabeth to his side. Was willing to kill literal children, and send children to kill other children. He had a crush on a minor, as an adult, and tricked children to be by his side. He used those kids tough lives to manipulate and control them. That's genuinely predatory.

Secondly, the cousins argument is stupid because Percy would be Luke's cousin once removed, same with practically all the ships both canon and non, aside from ships involving Rachel, Calypso, and Ella. They're all fucking related, there's just no actual genetic connections. Doesn't matter who you ship, every single one of them are related.

I can get a one-sided crush. Like Luke being Percy's bi-awakening (at least before the end of TLT where Luke attempted to kill him.) I had crushes of (albeit fictional) guys way too old for me. I had to be 7ish when I crushed on 15 year old Ben 10, and 12 when I crushed on Marshall Lee, who would probably be between 18 to 22 (not counting the 1000 years he's been alive). How many teen girls through the years crushed on fully adult celebs and singers? But for Luke to like him back? Ew, no.

Why is Percico sneered at because "age differences" and "they're cousins", when Lukercy is thriving? Hel, even some fics have them as untagged lovers or exes. I clicked away from one because it mentioned Luke being Percy's first lover when he was new at camp and UGH.

[wannab-urs]

Outtakes - multiples vol 1

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist | Vol 2

Howdy folks!

Here's all the fics on my spreadsheet featuring multiples - that's MMF, MFM, FMF, FFM, and more! All of these fics feature a reader character + 2 or more other characters, usually 2 pedro boys but not always!

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

Updated 5/24/2024

Possession a Din/Cobb one shot by @prolix-yuy

Summary: In a city called Mos Pelgo, soon to be named Freetown, a Marshal, a Mandalorian, and a Guild member sit for a drink. They also sit with a question - how to get rid of the adrenaline coursing through their veins, remnants of tearing a krayt dragon in two. You have some ideas. Tags: Smut, MMF threesome, descriptions of male and female bodies, penetrative vaginal sex, fingering, oral sex (male and female receiving), anal play, rimming, cum eating, creampie, unprotected sex, fingers in mouths, rough sex, M/M, M/F, M/M/F, the helmet comes off, slight sensory deprivation

A Little Lipstick Never Hurts a Max P/Dieter series by spacegayofficial (AO3) / @max--phillips

Summary: (part 1) Max tries to skip his morning inspection, but gets caught breaking one of the rules you set for him anyway. A punishment is in order. (part 2) Max realizes a fantasy, and you enlist Dieter Bravo to help you deliver. (part 3) You receive a very hot video from your boyfriends while you are at work. The making of said video requires Max to break some rules you'd previously set out for him. He and Dieter make it up to you very easily. Tags: Forced Feminization, but it's consensual, Femdom, Chastity Device 24/7,  D/s dynamic, Sex Toys, BDSM, reader referred to as Mistress and Ma'am, Impact Play, Riding Crop, Bondage, Anal Fingering, Pegging, Butt Plugs, Degradation, Deepthroating, face fucking, gagging, spit, ruined orgasm, Nipple Clamps, Cum Play, Cum Eating, Oral Sex, Aftercare, there is NO misgendering, Max's ass does get referred to as his pussy and his dick his clit, but that's as far as that goes, MMF, threesome, PIV, double penetration, cock cages, ball gag, choking, max is a vampire, blow jobs, sex tapes, cum swapping, rule negotiations, fluff

Behind The Velvet Rope a Joel/Dieter Series by @psychedelic-ink

Summary: A grumpy bodyguard, an eccentric actor, and you, who is thrust into the limelight. What can go wrong? The three navigate the challenges of Hollywood, tensions may arise and conflicts may occur but they'll always have each other to lean on. Tags: Smut, MMF threesome, forbidden romance, age gap, unprofessional situations, thigh fucking, intercrural sex, brat taming, oral sex (male receiving), Dom/sub dynamics, mlm dynamics, messy two-person blowjob, praise kink (Dieter), hair pulling, BDSM dynamics, drug use, high sex, pet names (good girl/good boy, sweetheart, darlin', honey), guidance kink, handjob, facesitting, inexperienced!reader

Fuse a Din/Ezra two shot by @marisferasiop

Summary: Din and reader are working as a Guild crew living on the Crest (and quietly pining for one another). Din picks up a bounty on a harvester dodging creditors who had fronted funds for prospecting work and finds a surprise: someone who looks exactly like him. While on the way to drop him to the client, the three of you are accidentally dosed with a pollinating spice strain meant for cold blooded biologies! Now you three have to ah- "get it out of your systems" somehow! Tags: Sex Pollen, Marathon Sex, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Din Djarin Removes the Helmet, but only in the dark, Force-Sensitive Reader, Ezra loses the arm, no y/n, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, oh no we got feelings in our sex pollen smut, Everyone in star wars is bi til it's proven otherwise, Ezra is definitely a mouthy bottom, Switch Din Djarin, MMF, MM

Catalyst a Joel/Frankie series by @ezrasbirdie

Summary: After falling into bed together on the night of Frankie’s 40th birthday party, you, Joel, and Frankie start a relationship. Tags: smut, MMF, fluff, POV switch, they're all very hot for each other, one minor instance of pussy slapping, kind of double penetration but not really, a little voyeurism, some brief jealousy, Joel loves to show off, Frankie loves to watch, squirting, bossy Joel, very sweet Frankie, too many uses of the word soft, MM, feelings, fluff, angst, oral sex, handjobs

Unusual Situation a Din/Ezra one shot by @absurdthirst

Summary: Time for a space cowboy threesome. Tags: Smut, MMF threesome, oral sex (male and female receiving), PiV sex, cum eating

Of Gorgons and Gardens a Din/Ezra series by @concussed-to-pieces (this starts off basically pure smut and gets really cute)

Summary: Din, raised by the Death Watch, is looking for a quarry named Ezra. Tags: Smut, MMF threesome, sex pollen, breeding kink, bodily fluids, dubcon

With or Without You a Javi P/Frankie series by @jksprincess10

Summary: You ask your partner, Javi, to join in on a bad idea.  Tags: MFM, bi!Frankie, pet names (hermosa, bonita, baby, good boy, alcohol, cigarettes, no home!javi, flirting, dom!javi, switch!reader, sub!frankie, consent, praise kink, oral sex m receiving, oral sex f receiving, deepthroating, fingering, masturbation, javier talks you through it, squirting, unprotected piv, creampie, using cum as lube, cum eating, pwp, switch!reader, MMF, couch sex, pussy eating king!Frankie, 69, face sitting, riding, dirty talk, jealous!javi, ass slapping, spanking, rough sex, degradation, slut, double blowjob, anal MM, voyeurism, cum play, fluff, angst, pet names: frankie baby, cocaine, drugs, food play, polyamory, miscommunication, somnophilia, mild dub con

Adversity a Frankie/Ezra series @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Summary: On your own and far from the home you once knew, you find unlikely allies right when you least expect them and soon learn that they have plenty to teach you. Tags: Western AU, Age Gap, Explicit Smut, MMF relationship, inexperienced/virgin reader, references to violence and death (it’s the old west).

Shore Leave a Frankie/Santi one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Summary: Young Frankie and Santi and you have a threesome when they're on leave Tags: MMF Threesome, some degradation(mild), anal, anal play, butt plugs, blowjobs, pussy eating, DP sex, poly mentions(?), Frankie is a menace. 

a court of fangs and foxgloves an Oberyn/Max P one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Summary: After you left the court and hence Oberyn, no one is eager to forgive you for your betrayal. Especially those closest to you. Tags: Smut, MMF threesome/orgy, voyeurism, mlm dynamics, Dom/sub dynamics, sub!Max, switch!reader, dom!Oberyn, rimming, ass play, anal sex, penetrative vaginal sex, biting, mentions of blood, vampirism

Group Therapy a Frankie/Tommy one shot by @beskarandblasters

Summary: Frankie Morales & Tommy Miller are both sent to a veteran’s support group by their doctors where they meet and become friends. Both men take a liking to you, the group therapist. And instead of getting angry with each other Tommy comes up with a fun little idea after therapy one night. Tags: alternate universe, canon divergence, no outbreak, age gap, drinking, MMF threesome, vaginal fingering, oral sex (male and female receiving), penetrative vaginal sex, semi public sex, pet names (darlin', sweetheart, good girl, dirty girl), therapist!reader, degradation

Desires and Complications a Marcus P/Dave series by @ezrasbirdie

Summary: Marcus has been with you for a while, but knows you hold back in the bedroom. He tracks down an old flame of yours—Dave—to show him how to please you. Tags: Smut, daddy kink, anal play, cumplay, unprotected penetrative vaginal sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), rimming, humiliation, MMF threesome, anal sex, mlm dynamics, angst, established relationship, double penetration

Euclidean Geometry a Frankie/Jack/Pero one shot by @leslie-lyman

Summary: They make no attempt to define what this is, who they are to each other. All they know is that now they are together. Tags: smut, MM and MMF; some implied D/s dynamics; allusions to the lingering trauma of military service

The Impaler a Tim Rockford/Max Phillips one shot by @kiwisbell

Summary: Chief Detective Tim Rockford makes a breakthrough in New York City’s latest serial killer case. The mysterious culprit is in the mood to share more than information. Tags: vampires, gothic architecture, slightly dubious consent, implied mind alteration/control, murder, death, blood, threesome, lots of biting, spanking, spitroasting, masturbation, DVP, fingering, unprotected PIV (wrap ur vampire dicks pls), wife sharing, free use kink, oral sex (f and m receiving), exchanging fluids, spitting, disgusting and filthy, max using cringey nicknames for reader’s pussy but it’s charming bc it’s max, handcuffs, light bondage, hair pulling

Tommy's Hard Day a Joel/Tommy one shot by @toxicanonymity

Summary: Tommy had a hard day, so Joel asks you to help him feel better Tags: free use, blow jobs, MFM threesome w/ Tommy & Joel Miller (they don't touch), cuckolding, unprotected P in V sex, creampie, Pre or non-outbreak. 

Three's a crowd a Marcus P/Javi P one shot by @agentmarcuspike

Summary: Your boyfriend Marcus watches Javier Peña fuck you Tags: established open relationship (reader and marcus), cucking, threesome (mfm), oral (f and m receiving), fingering, swallowing, subtle hugh grant reference, exhibitionism, voyeurism, unprotected penetrative vaginal sex, one (1) light ass slap, eiffel tower, marcus king of aftercare pike, javi secret softie peña, reader is v bold and confident, made-up stuff about the fbi lol, bit of sappy fluff (they love each other, ok)

Something wretched about this a Joel series by @covetyou (Chapter 3 - The Dark Caress of Someone Else is the Joel/Tess/Reader threesome)

Summary: Your father has been medicating his long term illness for as long as you can remember, and he'd always been grateful to find medication suppliers even after the world went to shit. When he can't pay up, what lengths will you go to to protect your entire world?  Tags: Smut, PWP, dubcon, penetrative vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, anal sex, anal play, spanking, MFF threesome, medicinal drug usage, vaginal fisting, praise kink, sex toys, post-outbreak, creampie, debts, cumplay, pussy slapping

The Saint, the sinner, and the devil a Joel/Javi P Series by @joelsgirl

Summary: Joel and Javier are two sides of the same coin, the dark and supposed light of an unrelenting war - but in this room, they were predators and you, their prey. Tags: Mafia alternate universe, Narcos and TLOU crossover, mafia DBF!Joel Miller, corrupt Javier Peña, smut, age gap, size difference, dirty talk, threesome, name-calling

Le Trio De Fleur a Din/Paz Vizla one shot by @absurdthirst

Summary: You are a bounty that the Mandalorians have been sent to capture. They track you to an uninhabited planet where you have crashed  your ship. You’ve killed the other bounty hunters that have been sent after you, seemingly including another Mandalorian, but they find you in a much more precarious situation due to the local fauna. Tags: Dubious consent due to sex pollen. Vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), cream pie, threesomes, cum eating, double penetration, anal sex, thoughts of violence.

All our candles are burned out a Dieter/Frankie one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Summary: dieter needs helicopter lessons for an upcoming role and santiago finds you the perfect man for the job.  Tags: established relationship between dieter and reader, threesome, a very messy blowjob, edging, teasing, mlm dynamics, vaginal/anal fingering, piv, creampie, single dad!frankie, competency kink  

Blackmail a Javi P/Joel one shot by @milla-frenchy

Summary: in exchange for his help to let Joel and you out of the QZ, a new soldier, Javier, asks him for something more than just ration cards Tags: Dubcon. Cucking, praise kink, oral (f/m receiving), unprotected piv, rimming, anal, threesome, double penetration, creampie

Closure a Marcus P/Din one shot by @javier-pena

Summary: Marcus, Din and you used to be best friends. Now you're on opposite sides of the law with a decade worth of grudges between you. But hate can quickly become something else ... Tags: angst | canon-typical violence | mentions of food and alcohol and smoking | they’re all mean to each other and they have a difficult relationship | (a lot of) dirty talk (by my standards) | slight power imbalance | reader has hair that can be grabbed | threesome m/f/(m) (kinda) | ecouteurism | voyeurism | exhibitionism | a bit of edging | fingering | competitiveness | (unprotected) piv sex | creampie | a tiny, tiny bit of degradation

Good Boy a Dieter/Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Summary: Dieter gets cucked. That's it. That's the fic. Tags: cucking, PIV, creampie, oral sex f receiving, cum eating, PWP/plot what plot?, dom!Javi, sub!dieter, idk what reader is... having a good time?

Intimidation Tactics a Dave/Marcus P series by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Summary: You and your partner, Marcus Pike, are investigating a case that brings you far too close to something much more dangerous than your average art thief. Tags: Mentions of previous abusive relationship, enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, eventual polyamory, smut

Apple a Frankie/Santi/Will one shot by @romana-after-dark

Summary: You are married to Santi and you and him dabble in CNC scenes. This time, Santi enlists the help of Will and Frankie. Slowly, things start to devolve, and things get heated between the three men that was not discussed prior. This culminates when you try to safeword and you find Will's fingers in your mouth. Tags: Smut, dead dove; do not eat, consensual non-consent turned noncon, bi!Will, bi!Santi, bi!Frankie, dark fic, mlm dynamics, size kink, painful sex, degradation kink, petnames (puppy), edging, premature ejaculation, bukkake, unprepared penetrative vaginal sex

To be explored later a Frankie/Santi one shot by @legendary-pink-dot

Summary: You and your boyfriend Santi fuck his best friend Frankie and it's a little more MMF than you were expecting -- much to your delight Tags: Swearing, dirty talk, rough-ish sex, hair pulling, oral sex (m receiving), a couple of spanks, edging if you squint, also yearning m/m if you squint, unprotected PIV, snowballing, threesome, dom!Santi.

Under your skin a Jack/Javi P one shot by me

Summary: You’ve worked on Chucho’s ranch since you were 15 years old, grew up with Javi, loved Javi… He comes back after nearly 20 years to find you hooking up with a certain former secret agent. He’s jealous, for sure, but of who? Tags: post season 3 of Narcos, AU where Jack gets kicked out of the Statesmen instead of burgered, Javi being bi and repressed, Jack being a bisexual slut, SMUT, MMF dynamics, oral (f receiving), javi being a dick, oral (m receiving), javi tries to hit jack, gay kissing (!!!), making out, face sitting, reader kinda gets used and likes it, nipple play, throat fucking, Eiffel tower moment, brief f masturbation, brief m masturbation, pet names (sugar, cowboy, baby, hermosa), truly unreasonable amounts of cursing i’m sorry i talk like this, and also unreasonable amounts of southern phrasing, again sorry I talk like this, unprotected PIV, creampie, cum eating, teasing Javi, actually 90% porn with like a little backstory, kind of enemies to lovers, they’re all ranch hands technically, also they’re all romantically into each other but also javi is dumb and jack can’t believe anyone would want him for more than sex haha oops :)

do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?a Frankie/Santi series by moonknightly (AO3)

Summary "Neither of you want the night to end. That’s the only reason it takes you ten minutes to put your clothes back on and the only reason he offers to share his tequila after he’s gotten you out of them." Tags: Cheating, Infidelity, Post-Break Up, Angst, Smut, Cuckolding, sloppy blowjobs, Dom/sub, Threesome - F/M/M, Spanking, Pain Kink, Choking, You're mostly fucking Santi here

------

Happy Reading!

[lonelychicago]

wip ask game! 💌📜

tagged by the lovelies @saybiwithme @exhuastedpigeon @bigfootsmom @steadfastsaturnsrings @shortsighted-owl @bidisasterevankinard @queerdiazs @wikiangela @devirnis @diazsdimples

RULES: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

1. coma buck & eddie fostering his daughter

2. come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound (tbosas au)

3. evan buckley is a cumslut and that's that.

4. the diazs are GAY and abuela deserves a gf <3

5. if the world was ending

6. girldad AND uncle buck will be the end of eddie diaz

7. missing you and your addictive heart

8. all the roads, for your steps

9. cursed buck, skeptical eddie

10. manny buck and surgeon eddie get NASTY

11. thg au 2.0

12. i can't remember ur face but my heart remembers your soul

13. fuck that cowboy (actually, can *I* fuck him?)

14. journalist eddie & running for president buck

15. funny story by emily henry but make it buddie

16. emily henry save me!!!! buddie save me!!!!

17. fire marshall buck & CEO eddie

18. buddie as detectives <3

19. in YOUR DREAMS!! (literally tho, this is your dream wtf)

tagging (np): @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @underwaterninja13 @father-salmon @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @spotsandsocks @spaceprincessem @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @rainbow-nerdss @bekkachaos @weewootruck @shipperqueen6 @watchyourbuck

[itookyoudown]

For the character ask game will you do the whole Lexington team?

i accept this challenge 😈

let's do this speedrun style.

LEXINGTON LAWMEN LET'S GO

Art

How I feel about this character: he's ... all right! i think he's perfect for his role in the show and he's got some nice little details (the hearing aids, his relationship with leslie & family, etc) and he has some great lines. S2's Blaze of Glory is FASCINATING for him and is my favorite Art episode ... that ending with Frank!! dksjfks both sad and funny and wow what an entirely human true neutral way to approach the outlaw VS lawman cat and mouse dynamic 10/10 no notes. we also get some interesting glimpses at his inner darkness + capacity for violence in him that's ... hm now that's very interesting (that time he smacked Boyd with the bible, the interrogation with the phonebook, him decking Raylan, etc) but i think overall he falls too much in line with the "Police Chief" character archetype. since Justified is a western masquerading as a police show, Art should have felt more like a sheriff but he didn't. Raylan was the sheriff of the show. though as Justified always does with their characters they gave Art a lot more personality and layers than LEO shows usually give their big boss characters. i also LOVE that Art's hope and trust in Raylan is FOREVER dashed and is never repaired during the show, such a great twist on what usually happens with the chief and their cowboy subordinate.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: ...well...i wouldn't call it "romantic" but i think we deserve at least one fucked up gross Art/Tim dead dove daddy issues smut fic, as a treat (for me) 🤡

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Art & Raylan. his odd almost-surrogate father/son dynamic where he literally disowns Raylan during the show is goddamn great and i never tire of it on rewatches of the show. i really wish we'd see it explored more in fic.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i don't think there's enough opinions on Art for anything said about his character to be unpopular, but ... i think Art had one gay experience when he was younger like @praycambrian's Art and stanley tucci fic is just canon to me.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more Art & Tim interaction!! remember when Tim gets mouthy and bratty and Art verbally lays into him with a DON'T BE A SMART ASS??!! yeah i needed to have more of Tim toe-ing the chain of command and Art putting him back behind the line, please.

Rachel

How I feel about this character: she's cool! i like Rachel, but i don't love Rachel. she's just too prim and professional and filling the role of The Lawful Good Lawman to spark any fandom brainworms in me. she has my respect though. i still adored her place within the show, however. badass lady black marshal that's good at her fucking job and doesn't backdown in the face of assholes!! get it. the ways she was able to clap back on racist bullshit without the writers falling down a preachy rabbit hole for her was also chef's kiss.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Rachel/OMC and Rachel/Raylan as a treat (for her). sorry lesbian or bi Rachel truthers, that's a straight woman. in my head, after Rachel becomes the Seattle marshal she begins seeing a black man who works some sort of legal practice job with a divorce under his belt as well. they eventually married and live as Dog Parents Ever After 😌

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Rachel & Nick. loved her relationship with her nephew, she's done right by him and stepped up for her family i think Nick is going to be okay, i really think he's going to end up happy and Rachel structure & support is a big part of that.

My unpopular opinion about this character: the best Rachel fic(s) in existence is connect the dots by larkingstock. i don't care that it's Rachel/Tim fic btw once upon a time i read all the Tim fics that existed on the internet and that's how i discovered this brilliant Rachel-centric fic. never read a fic that shines such a spotlight on her sexuality, her emotions, and her wishes before while givng her a real narrative voice. also, the writing quality and style is romance novel level. 10/10 no notes.

not a fan of the Rachel & Tim bestie agenda. respectfully, they are work colleagues at best but i prefer Rachel filling a former mentor & then a boss role to Tim. he calls her ma'am with a little too much respect for them to be true pals.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: what the fuck happened with her divorce!! hello?? we only had a QUICK PEEK into Rachel's tragic & chaotic family life (dad dead from cancer, troubled sister dead, co-raising her nephew with her mother??!!) and i desperately wish we'd gotten a follow-up on what was going on there. our gal had hidden depths and i wanted to see more. they dropped the ball with the lawmen side of the plots in season 5/6 so we were also denied a deeper look at Rachel being the acting chief RIP :(

Tim

How I feel about this character: i'm not normal about this dude :) he's my blorbo my fan favorite my ascended supported character my baby boy my lil man timmy guts slutterson my gay ranger sniper deputy marshal lawman heart of my heart apple of my eye!! i just think he's neat. everything we see about him in canon spurs a hundred and zillion headcanons in my head, can never stop thinking about him. he's a character i project hard on and i love working out my various personal issues by tormenting him with them. ty for your service 'lil mister.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: everything he's my little black dress of the fandom. givenson, mostly. but also boyd/raylan/tim, boyd/tim, colt/tim, boyd/colt/tim, quarles/tim. i even ship him in things that has no tag yet. where is the wynn duffy/tim fic?! i need dan/raylan/tim in miami fic!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Tim & Mark. i liked the canon portrayal for them and don't find it romantic or sexual at all. i really do think they were just war buddy pals.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he would not have been out as a gay man circa 2010. i sometimes ... feel ... his service history & career as a LEO isn't factored into fic characterizations and how that's gonna fuck up his ability to accept himself as a gay man and how that might even give him a hostile relationship with the LGBT community at large. i will never i cannot personally vibe with smoothing down the sharp points of Tim's characterization and history to make him more palatable to a younger audience. i don't care for queernorm-ing and the soft boy aesthetics.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: that they spent SO MUCH time setting up his powder-keg arc and then did a whole bunch of nothing with it. we should have seen him BLOW sky high (and should have seen him blowing other men who said that).

Raylan

How I feel about this character: i'm normal about him (lying through my teeth). i love raylan, okay?? he makes me bonkers in a variety of different ways. he's my comfort character!! thinking about him comforts me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: givenson, mainly. i also ship him with boyd in a very very VERY selective way AKA it has to be toxic and weird and dom4dom. also love putting him with both Boyd and Tim at once ala Crowgivenson. i also wrote the only Dan/Raylan fic but also took it down a while back, still ship them hardcore though only way to explain why Dan is so fucking fond of Raylan.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Raylan & Loretta. no she is NOT his daughter and those are not a parent/child dynamic. Raylan sees HIMSELF in Loretta, he is being the protective supportive adult to her that HE needed as a child. helping her heals his inner wounded child. Loretta is a mirror to a younger Raylan with a twist of female trauma. it's a funhouse mirror into his past.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he's a daddy dom sorry to the haters but that's what he is in my heart. me and the other justies into that are gonna keep being happy about it in our corner of the fictional sandbox 🖤

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: don't like the becoming a dad plotline, sorry. his romance with winona was eye-roll more to me and when they had winona get pregnant i put my face in my palms and groaned. wish it hadn't happened and they had given him a juicy career focus instead. the only saving grace to the whole dad thing is how both Justified and JCP stayed true to Raylan's character and portrayed him as being a crappy father.

(give me a character ask meme)

[makomafu]

Everyone thinks will is Trans but let's be honest here; Frankie I'd trand while will's genderfluid. I don't make the rules

OIGHHGE you just reminded me to post my Queer HCs i fucking forgor

Creeps HCs (Queer edition oooo)

Laughing Jack

I honestly can see him being aroace and non binary. The idea of gender is one that isn't like deeply pushed upon his kind, he's a children's toy and that's what he sees himself as. Boy? Sure, Isaac's a boy, he can call himself that too

Girl? Why not

he sees himself as a toy, a children's toy. Made for entertainment, and friendship.

William Grossman

The reason i see him as a trans guy is cause 1) i am trans myself, 2) i can see him wearing clothes like Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad or Marshall Lee, he got the top surgery and his scars look pretty sick 🔥

TbH this headcanons is also heavily tied with Isaac because i like making SO many connections between those two. He's very proud of his gender and how he looks like, and he loves how he has Jack to make him company! Jack helps him get shots lol

Oh and he's also a bisexual disaster but doesn't get many bitches

Isaac: get a girlfriend Will!

Laughing Jack: or a boyfriend, he's bi!

Isaac: Damn nobody want u fr 😭

Laughing Jack: That's what i'm saying like 😭😭😭

Will: ;-;

Frankie The Undead

Ok it first started as a silly headcanon inspired by other people's but now i can actually see it

I see this man as a trans man, and a gay man. This man has been kissing dudes since the 40s. He used to have this lover back in the 40s he always wrote letters to, they've all been burned but he sometimes remembers those times. (Also this is the willfrank shipper in me talking but his past lover looked awfully similar to William)

He's also trans because i love transmasc characters that are old i love it. He doesn't bind because he doesn't feel like it, being fat also helps lmao. He loves his body, he just fucking hates the stitches <33

Isaac Grossman

I can't decide if this guy is aro, gay, or bisexual, he's too queer for me. YES, the guy people see as queerphobic is ironically the most queer in my eyes. Imagine the repression he went through from his teenage years to adulthood, the loneliness. He only had one person that could understand him, and it was Jack. With time he forgot he was ever accepted, as he forgot Jack.

He never found any "true love", but there was a man that sticked with him even after death.

Also, yeah, i think the biggest change i gave to his original story is that he's AFAB. How does Will exist? Well, only children weren't exactly common for poor families in the 1800s England. The isolation he felt most of his life, the constant struggle of thinking, knowing, that out of everyone around you, you're alone on this one.

Jack, again, was the only place he could've feel safe, if they just didn't kill that cat. What could've been.

This man is TRAUMATIZED and my angsty teen ass is the culprit

[chipsonthemenu]

tell me about your headcanons!!

EHEWHEEHHE HI AURORA THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME YELL

okay so basic list stuff:

chip: he/him transmasc greyaroace bi and has. some sort of back problems. also his pinkie that i keep forgetting about! also adhd too bro has 0 attention span /pos

jay: she/they transfem bisexual and BBBAD KNEE....thought she had this in canon but i might be mixing them up with mari omori.....occasional mobility aids that ollie helped her decorate :3

gil: any pronouns agender aroace but is very down for qprs. autism as hell <3 also probably other stuff i cant think of rn OH GLASSES GIL FR

ollie: THEY/THEM GENDERQUEER UNLABELLED SCREAMING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS THE LITTLE BOY THE KEEP ONNTHE SHIP IS A GENDERNEUTRAL TERM DO YOU SEE MY VISION. also probably needs glasses. to me. and heavily adhd n autism

drey: they/them nb unlebelled nblm. gots their arms yk 👍 also kinda strikes me at nd in some way fight me on this

gryffon: okay. hear me out. they/he/she nb panromantic asexual. please. do you see my vision. also their arm and autism. gryffon is autism do you hear me.

finn: he/she genderfluid pansexual bro is a whore. also love the idea of fully mute finn and she is autism as FUCK DO YOU HEAR MEEEE

earl: nobody escapes from my queerness beam not even earl. he/him cismasc bisexual. bad back bad knees uses a cane. old man shit but also he hits people with the cane and uses it when making juice sometimes. ollie put fruit stickers all over it once and he actually kinda likes it but will never say that

queen: MY LOVE. MY ONE AND ONLY. ANY PRONOUNS PANGENDER AROACE. THEY HAVE AUTISM AND TICS (IM BLANKING ON WHAT THATS CALLED) AND STRIKES ME AS SOMEONE WHO NEEDS MOBILITY AIDS BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT FOR. XE ARE JUST LIKE ME FR AND I LOVE HER WITH EVERYTHING IN MY BEING

lizzie: she/her transfem lesbian. shit vision not jusy due to her eye but just in general. refuses to wear glasses

caspian: they/he libramasc achillean demisexual :) sssooooo many jrwi characters strike me as mobility aid users despite me not being one and caspian is no exceptionnnnnnn to this

john: sorry bee but. he/him cismasc VERY VERY GAY. MARSHALL JOHN IS A MAN LIKER. ALSO VERY AUTISM AND ADHD

niklaus: throwing in motherfucker too because i do have stuff. she/they/lun/he transfem genderfluid bisexual. thats it

i thibk thats everyone i wanted to yell about lmk OH FUCK ALPHONSE

alphonse: dont care. doing the silly. it/they/he agender aroace i do not care if they are the boat now it deserved better and he gets my headcanons

okay thats everyone i think thank you for letting me scream <3

LIED. LIED SO BAD.

jaz: JASMINE DRAAAAKE <3 he/they transmasc gay with autism and why do i see him having a prosthetic arm. no idea why okay i think thats ACTUALLY everyone now

edyn: she/e cisfem sapphic HOW DID I ALMOST FORGET HERRRRR

ensa: omg her. they/she transfem nb lesbain asexual. got her prosthetic leg and probably adhd

kira: SHE/THEY TRANSFEM SAPPHIC KIRA IS A WOMAN KISSER mwa love her

okay. goodbye fr this time i promise

wait no i wanna do the apoth crew too as an apotheosis enjoyer

peter: they/he transmasc demiboy with so much autism that likes men. also probably post-campaign cane user the shit they went through can fuck someone up

rumi: any pronouns genderfluid pansexual. there is some sort of thing i think they have (i dont think its imposter syndrome) but its something about never actually seeing herself because changeling shit yk idk

thanatos: it/they unlabelled :) doesnt need labels doesnt want em :)

OKAY. I THINK THATS IT FUCK EXANDROTH RESPECTFULLY OKAY WAHOO HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY UNGODLY LONG POST

[jackiebrackettt]

Chip Sexuality Crisis Fic - Unfinished but 1.3k words

(tumblr exclusive as, yeag it's unfinished. hope you guys enjoy lmao. reblogs still appreciated!)

Chip is not gay. There are a lot of uncertain things about his life but the one thing he does know is that fact. He likes women. And he’d probably know by now if he likes men too. 

He is not gay. He is not in love with his best friend. And he is not still thinking about the kiss. 

And the fact that the latter is definitely a lie probably doesn’t bode well for the others. 

Whatever. 

He has more important things to do than dwell on a kiss that happened purely to advance their quest and save Jay’s life. Like teach Ollie how to fix the ship. And if that conveniently puts him away from Gillion, well that’s just an accident. It’s not like he’s purposefully avoiding Gill. Or anything.

Jay notices because of course she does. She pulls himself aside as soon as she can.

“You know you can like… both right?” Jay says, sounding very concerned. “I mean, I do.”

“Yeah, I know that! But I don’t, okay? I like women, not men.”

Jay stares at him. 

“But you like Gillion.” 

It’s not a question. It’s not a question and he really wishes it was. That Jay wasn’t already so convinced of this. He needs some support here, damnit. 

“No! No, I don’t! Because if I liked Gill, I’d like men and if I like men, I’d like Gill - but I don’t like men, I don’t like Gillion, and everything’s fine!”

Once again, Jay stares silently at him. 

This sucks. Gill would believe him. If he told Gillion he wasn’t in love with him Gillion would just accept it and move on! Not push and question him. 

Curse Jay’s need to make fun of him. Although there isn’t a hint of a smile on her face. Instead, a seriousness. And a slight hesitance as she opens her mouth to speak again. 

“It… really sounds like you just like Gill.” 

He groans and drops his head into his hands “You are just no help, you know that?”

“Chip, it’s… okay if you like him, yeah?”

“No! It’s not! Because I don’t want to lose him, okay? What if he thinks I’m weird? Or, like, I make him uncomfortable?” He freezes, and hastily adds, “not that I do, though - like, if I did.” 

“If Gill doesn’t feel the same way, he’d probably just take it as a compliment and move on. You know him.” 

“Still, though.” He wipes a hand down his face. “I don’t- I don’t want to take that chance. And he definitely doesn’t feel the same, like- have you heard the way he talks about Marshall John?” 

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“Hey!” He tries to elbow her but she dodges. “You’re supposed to be like… on my side. Or at least hyping me up!”

“You won’t even admit you’re bi!”

“So?” 

“So? Chip…” she puts a hand on his shoulder. “First step to moving on is admitting you have a problem… and I know you have so, so, so many problems but-“

“Hey, fuck you!”

“-if you want to get over your crush on Gillion, you need to admit it exists. You can’t beat the gay allegations when you are actually gay.”

“I’m not gay, alright? I’m, you know-“

“Bi, I know.” She waves her hand dismissively. “Same concept.” 

“Whatever.” He brushes her hand off his shoulder and sinks down against the wall. “Well, what now?”

“We… talk about it?” Jay shrugs. “I don’t really know, I honestly didn’t think I’d get this far.”

Chips brings his legs up to his chest and hugs them. Picks nervously at a small hole in his pants nearby the knee. 

He doesn’t really know if he wants to talk about it. It just makes the whole thing more real. Because he can still salvage this right now. Leave this conversation in this room, in this time, and never revisit it. 

But he knows himself. Once he starts talking he’ll probably say a lot more than he wants to. And then it’ll be real because he hasn’t just stopped fighting Jay’s insistence. He’s talking about it. 

And then he’ll leave the safety of this room. He’ll have to go talk to Gill and his stupidly pretty face and try not to stare at his stupidly buff arms. 

He would say something kind of pathetic and stupid like, I wonder if Gill could carry me? but he already knows for a fact that if Gillion can carry him when almost his entire body is stone he can probably carry him easily now. 

“This is stupid!” He snaps. “What do I even say?”

“Well…” Jay tilts her head, thinking, “how about… when did it start?” 

“When did what start?”

“Your crush. Duh.”

“Oh.”

When Gillion kissed him, obviously. He wouldn’t have missed something like this for that long-

-Or, no, maybe earlier than that. Maybe when Gillion’s eyes first lit up - like literally lit up - and his hair started floating. The coral in his hair glowing, lightning crackling around him like he was some kind of god. 

Maybe when Gillion grabbed his shaking hand and healed the disease. The awe from Gillion’s display of his power just a second earlier still present as the healing warmth spread through him. 

Maybe when he found out about the deal with Niklaus and, despite his continued jokes about leaving Gillion behind, he felt a bone deep fear for his friend’s safety. 

Maybe back then. Maybe he’s had a bit of a crush on Gillion for a while now. 

That’ll make him sound a little too head over heels, though.

“When he, uh, when he- when he kissed me. I- I think.” He shrugs, trying to ignore the way his face heats up. “You, uh, you were drowning and I was a little fucked up from the pool and I think Gillion was panicking - trying to, you know, save the day. So he kissed me and the door opened.”

“I knew it!” Jay clicks her fingers. “You were so red and stuttery-“ she starts laughing, “god, Chip, that’s so fucking funny.”

“No it isn’t!” He drops his head against his knees. “Jay. Jay. That was the best kiss I’ve ever had. Like- what the fuck! Where did he learn that?”

“You mean it wasn’t your first kiss?”

She’s still laughing a little. So he briefly abandons his position of despair to slap at her arm. 

“Stop being so mean to me right now! I’m dying, Jay. You’re attacking a dying and despairing man.”

Jay knocks his hands away.

“Oh, stop being so dramatic.” The grin on her face is almost shark-like as she continues, “so Gill kissed you and it was so good you had your bi awakening. And now you’re in love with him.”

“Yeah, I gue- wait no one said anything about love!”

He doesn’t mean to avoid Gillion after that. It’s just that, well, like he thought - he can’t stop staring at Gillion’s face, or lips, or arms. And when he tries to watch Gill train it feels a lot more indulgent than before, when he was just doing it while half asleep because he was bored. 

And when he does talk to Gill it’s all he can do just to stutter his way through a conversation. Just to stop the flirty statements that threaten to spill from his mouth. 

Because when it’s just a random woman they meet on an adventure it doesn’t matter that much if she rejects him. 

But no, this is Gillion. His best friend, his crew member. He can’t afford to screw this up. 

But he knows Gillion is starting to piece together that something’s wrong. Because a lot of things may fly over Gill’s head but Chip’s being about as subtle as a whale. 

Can you blame him though? He was just coming to terms with crush and then Jay’s dropping words like love on him. Saying that he’s in love with Gillion. 

Which is stupid. 

He loves Jay and Gillion differently, sure. But that’s because Jay’s like an older annoying sister to him. Not because he’s in love with Gillion. 

Right? Right.

-----

hope u enjoyed it even though it's unfinished ^_^ never really finished it because as you may know i'm not the biggest believer in fnc. this was going to end up as an ambiguous qpr relationship though bc welllll i like to project and it's really the only way i personally can see fnc. would love to hear ur thoughts in the form of tags or replies (eyes emoji)

[wolvieispunk]

Me, going absolutely feral watching Mando clips, trailers, content, re-bingingseasons one and two and selections from TBOBF:

I swear to FUCK if they screw over Cobb Vanth in S3 (or whatever is next for TBOBF) I will strangle Filoni to death with my bare hands and claim custody of the marshal myself.

I want more of him. I want a "you collect strays" line re: Din and his collection of feral lonely friends. I want an even vaguely veiled bi panic moment. I want a FUCKING MUDHORN SIGIL ON MY FERAL DESERT MAN, DO YOU HEAR ME DAVID?!

[fictionkinfessions]

hi. transfem adam murray back again

funny that u got the mundane memories ask game rn because i was thinking of this earlier:

frequent injoke with BPS was we would steal limp bizkit CDs. like specifically limp bizkit. we did it as teens and we kept doing it as adults, and i thought it was funny as fuck. sometimes i would chew on them like a dog(?) and sarah called me out on it. she did it because she kinda liked the music, jonah just did it for shits and giggles, and i wanted something to break.

i'd assume this will count for the sourcemate canon divergences, but jonah was very openly gay. besides from being bi, i was still very closeted and in denial, and i was opening up a bit more around him. i wish i could remember more about what happened after the uh. house. but i'm hoping he lived after that (would that also be a canon divergence?)

tl;dr rip jonah marshall you would've loved making egg jokes about me (and i ate CDs)

-#🩻🐇 (she/her, tag as fableing)

(i assume the tag isn't taken? i checked)

x

[milktoasty-ghost-blog]

Some things my friends and I have said playing animal crossing

“Ya bitch caught a horny dynastid”

“Zebra sea maquids did 9/11″

“Bite my ball”

“Zebra turkey fish? More like,,, cunt”

“Your mom’s a faraway town”

“ALL HAIL THE HORSE MACKEREL KING”

“GET OUT OF MY TOWN YOU UGLY FUCK”

“GET BACK IN THE OCEAN YOU FUCKING ABORTION”

“I have to make the flowers wet so they’ll have flower sex and give me colorful flower children”

“ I fucking hate flip” “Lets egg his house and put penises around it” “good plan”

“Is that a penis?” “Yes, I call it happenis”

“Kapp’n is gay confirmed”

“Yeah we need to sell our shit first and- [gasp] M A R S H A L”

“LOCUST-SENPAI YOU BAKA! WERE YOU TRYING TO LOOK UP MY SKIRT?”

“KKK Slider”

“The parental carbon unit containing two ‘x’ chromosomes of which you were conceived has now been confirmed as a homosexual”

“What if in the next game tortimer is dead and his headstone gives you the tour instructions”

“VORE THE CHILD”

“I’m not a furry but Rosie is my girlfriend now bye”

“Wow I can’t believe Marshal is canonically bi”

“Pringles is a flower gay”

“mmmmMMMMMMMMMM”

“I have acended to my final form. I am now snas undertale”

“Tex is one thicc bih”

“I catch one more sea bass and I’m gonna shove a seashell up its sea ass

“I found a fossil” “ya mom’s a fossil”

“What if we thought this game was innocent but the whole time our inventory was in our ass” “that theory makes more sense than it should”

“Here’s a lemon because your jokes are fucking sour”

“Get the fuck out of my shopping district you six-piece chicken mcnobody”

“I fucking hate Flip, but at least he’s not Broffina”

“why is K.K. always naked? Is club lol secretly a strip club”

“Shrunk’s jacket looks like a fucking block of cheese with a blue bowtie”

“My hobbies are putting penises around people while they’re afk and making flowers have sex”

“I’m so gay for flowers I have them growing out of my ass”

“Goldie I love you but could you maybe move your fucking house please”

“Can sea bass just cease to exist”

“Move your fat ass Sylvia. Preferably out of my fucking town.”

“I’ve finally done it. I have all cute villagers in my town” “through the use of eugenics, you’ve created a master race of villagers to inhabit the land of which you, their leader, reside.” “Holy shit I’m animal crossing hitler”

“whAT THE FUCK MARINA I TRUSTED YOU” “wait what happened” “She planted fucking VIOLETS. In my ROSES. and had the AUDACITY to do it right in front of my f a c e”

“Shrunk may give me a bunch of different emotions from his jokes in the game, but in real life all they give me is depression”

That’s the end for now, but I’ll most likely be adding onto this list later. UwU

[apocalypticgargoyle]

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙍𝙄𝘾𝙆 | 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙨 (18+)

edit by 🐓 anon. im still screaming over this.

∘ request: [insert the 14 asking for more Sapnap humor in a pt. 1.5 of Meet the Jacobses]

∘ pairings: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader

∘ warnings: smut (18+), nsfw, language, drinking, mentions of Todd the frat boy, lots of dialogue, biting, asphyxiation

∘ links: 𐐪 ao3 𐑂 𐐪 previous part 𐑂 𐐪 submit an edgy!karl edit 𐑂

∘ a/n: this one goes out to the babes in the gc. ily.

i stole the Brick idea from the Jesse McCartney movie, Keith. I'm sorry. [tw for that link - sad & jesse mccartney not talking about beautiful souls]

also thank you everyone for your support on this series. when my friends and I conjured this up, I never thought I would be at the point where I get to share peoples art/paylists/etc. I'm so thankful for all of you.

okay I'll stop crying. happy reading and have a great week! :)

The sun beat down against your skin, your mind drifting to whether or not you should apply more sunscreen. Karl jumped into the light blue water in front of you, the water splashing out to almost completely soak you. You frowned at him as he came up for air, blowing you a kiss mockingly.

Sapnap’s cousins started tackling Karl, the chorus of laughter echoing around the pool. You stretched your legs out beneath the table, leaning into the shade of the umbrella as you watched them roughhouse.

Sapnap came out from the pool house, opening a beer bottle for you before taking the seat beside you. He sighed, buttoning the top of his shirt as he watched the boys. “Did you have a good time at the party yesterday? I dipped after an hour,” he asked, pushing his sunglasses to rest on top of his head.

You shrugged slightly, taking a sip of your drink. You couldn’t wait to tell your roommate how lavishly you’d been living. The fact that you were lounging by a heated pool, drinking beer from Copenhagen with the sons of millionaires was nearly mind-boggling to you.

You wet your lips, squinting your eyes as you looked at him. “I honestly have no idea. I was kind of just there as a Karl accessory,” you joked, making him chuckle softly.

“Yeah, I get that,” he flipped off one of the cousins as they threatened to throw water at him. “It’s always the Karl show around here,” he added. You raised your eyebrows at him and he backtracked. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. He’s a good guy; everyone’s just obsessed with him.”

You nodded slightly. “Yeah, he’s definitely the star baby,” you joked, making him laugh. “I need to ask you…” You bit your lip voice trailing off as you searched for the night words.

He sent you a closed-mouth smile. “About my mom and Karl?” He asked, biting back a blithe expression. It shocked you how calm he was about the situation.

You chuckled nervously. “I swear I won’t bring it up again, I’m just,” you cut yourself off, unable to describe the question marks pulsing through your thoughts.

He snorted, taking a sip of his drink. “I know right,” he reassured. “When I found out, I almost broke Karl’s nose,” he chided. “Not that I was like… angry it was my mom but out of how weird it was.”

“Yeah it is really fucking weird,” you agreed, laughing slightly.

He gestured as if to thank you for understanding. “I mean, Karl’s a great guy. He was my best friend for a long time but…” He made a face suggesting his discomfort and you snicked. “That’s my mom, man.” You giggled wholeheartedly at this, making him laugh too.

“What are you guys talking about?” Karl asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, dripping wet from his pool time adventures.

“Speak of the Devil and he shall appear,” you joked, making Sapnap wink at you. “Tacitus’ Annals,” you answered, making Sapnap nod at you.

He chewed on his lip, with a calm expression as he supported your lie. “I was telling your girlfriend how much I enjoyed his love of Nero,” he continued, you bit back a smile.

Karl ruffled his hair out in a towel. “Come on now,” he grumbled, calling the two of you on your bullshit.

Sapnap squinted as he looked up at him. “Karl supremacy. As always,” he answered with a touch of quiet sarcasm, making Karl roll his eyes playfully as he took to the other seat beside you.

Karl ran his fingers into his hair. “You wanna get matching tattoos together, Sapnap?” He quipped; Sapnap sending him a smug expression.

“Why? What were you thinking?” He asked, knowing he was walking into whatever Karl was setting up.

Karl pulled the leg of his swim trunks off his leg a bit, furrowing his brows. “I wanna get your mom’s name on the top of my thigh,” he teased, biting his lip. You rolled your eyes playfully.

Sapnap let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh my God, that’s so funny. I totally didn’t see that coming.”

Karl took a sip of your beer and you spoke up. “I think you’d look good with a tattoo, Sapnap. All jokes aside, you’ve got a great body,” you mused, sending him a wink. Sapnap bit back a smile looking at Karl, who you could already tell was glaring back at him. “Side note, I was meaning to ask you. There’s a guy that’s in Karl’s frat,” you paused, trying to remember what Karl had said Todd’s real name was when you were pinning his auction number on him.

Sapnap raised his eyebrows. “Oh, Mark?”

You pointed at him. “Yes, the fake Romney.”

Sapnap snorted. “He did that on campus too?” Karl nodded, a look of disappointment spreading across their faces.

“Speaking of Todd Mark, the king of the Brick” Karl kicked his feet beneath your chair before continuing, “I heard there’s a bonfire tonight,” he probed, making Sapnap slowly shake his head in disapproval.

You raised an eyebrow at the two. “What’s the Brick?”

Sapnap seemed to have already made up his mind on the situation. “A fucking cesspool,” Sapnap grumbled, sipping from his bottle as Karl tsked. Sapnap tilted his head. “You really wanna take her to the Brick? People get together and smoke crack over there. The fact that,” he paused to furrow his brows at you slightly, “Todd Mark? is the benefactor should say something,” he stated, lips curling into an uneasy expression.

You peered over your shoulder at Karl as if to ask if he were crazy. Karl swatted off your gesture. “They don’t smoke crack this time of year. All the locals are back visiting for break.”

Sapnap shook his head again in unease. You chewed your lip, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t know… Sapnap, do you wanna have a movie night instead?” You joked, making Karl sigh behind you.

Sapnap mimicked your mock severity. “Yeah, a stay in and cuddle?”

“Of course,” you repeated.

Karl wheezed. “No, we’re going.”

Without missing a beat, Sapnap chimed back. “Maybe you can take my mom instead?” Karl’s expression flattened at his words and you nodded, high fiving Sapnap in mock victory.

Despite Sapnap’s hesitation, you all went to what they referred to as The Brick. In reality, it was a spot on the edge of a lake. They only called it the Brick because of Todd’s dad, a racecar driver who claimed the post back when he was in high school and later bought it. A large bonfire burned in the center of the space, various people around your age and a bit younger were either dancing to the music coming from one of the souped-up sports cars or shotgunning beers. You pushed away the thought of your stingy fire marshall back home who―more than once―had reported you and your family for “overactive cookouts.”

“Overactive,” meaning your dad and Clay were failing at not catching hotdogs on fire when the two would get lost in a chat about a mutual videogame when the families would cross the fence line in the summer.

As soon as you had stepped foot on the gravel, Karl was welcomed back like some kind of celebrity, so you stayed close to Sapnap. He would lean towards your height, pointing people out that Karl had mentioned in the past or those worth noting. You nodded along, soaking in what he had to tell you and laughing at his jokes.

A random guy strolled past the two of you, making Sapnap purse his lips. “Hey, Sapnap. How’s your mom?” One of the countless jokes thrown at him since you’d arrived.

He tilted his head with a mock look of questioning. “Didn’t your parents just get divorced, Jeff?” He deflected. Jeff’s face dropped slightly as he moved on. You always found yourself struggling not to laugh at how well Sapnap was at counteracting the jabs at his mom and Karl. Most of you felt guilty for how long he had dealt with it.

Karl watched you carefully as you sat down beside Sapnap on one of the vast benches; hands shoved in his pockets as the group around him caught up. You were glad to have someone around like Sapnap, despite the fact that you often went to parties. In the past, it was more of a bi-annual thing, but since being with Karl, you found yourself shoulder to shoulder with nameless people in a line doing shots every other Thursday.

You laughed as Sapnap joked about avoiding the drinks at the Brick because of the mites in the water and the STDs in the beer. “So, I never asked how you met Karl?” He queried, sticking his hands into the pocket of his Baja hoodie.

You smiled slightly. “Uh…” Shameless thoughts of you on your knees in a random building when you barely knew his name paced through your head like a quickfire of serotonin. “We had a lecture together and he liked my handwriting.” Sapnap smirked, chuckling slightly at your words.

Karl’s eyes were trained on the two of you, demeanor shifting each time one of you leaned towards the other to hear over the music or the two of you bumping each other’s arms to grab your attention. You knew he wasn’t jealous, but his look of curiosity was almost hilarious to you. Sapnap stuck by your side while Karl introduced you to his friends. He was basically your encyclopedia on the newer people as Karl would go off on a tangent with them.

The fact that Karl was so close to all of them and was so popular made your heart swell with pride. You were used to Karl’s deadpanned glares at most of his frat brothers and his snide comments, but now he was welcomed back like he was some kind of hero returning from the war.

After saying goodbye to Sapnap for the day, you threaded your fingers with Karl’s, enjoying the time where it was just the two of you. He brought the back of your hand to his lips, smoothing a kiss against your skin. “So… Sapnap’s mom…” you began, making him chew the inside of his cheek. “Where… did it happen?”

He looked down at you with a perked eyebrow before raising his sights forward, pulling you off the street where the two of you were walking. You followed him as the pair of you snuck through between the houses and across the backyards until the two of you were at Sapnap’s house again. Through the front windows, you could see him talking to his sibling in the kitchen.

Karl grabbed your hand, leading you along the side of the estate and toward the pool house. You wanted to groan at the thought before he pulled you through the door with him. “Are you serious?” You hissed, looking around at the dark place. Karl fought not to smirk as he peered out through one of the windows, watching the lights in Sapnap’s house turn out.

The moonlight streamed through one of the slender windows, illuminating his face and washing his features clean. Your gaze trailed along his arms; his tattoos peeking out from beneath his hoodie as he reached up to lock the door.

He turned back to face you, walking closer to you. “Did you have fun today?” He asked, plopping down on one of the couches and pulling you into his lap. He moved your arms to rest around his neck, pressing his lips to your skin. “I feel like I didn’t see you at all. Sapnap’s a bogart,” he muttered jokingly, settling his hands on your hips.

You scoffed before leaning toward him, pressing your lips against his. “Make it up to me,” you murmured, raking your fingers into his hair. “I think I selfishly need you to ruin me here; you know. Like a cleansing of you and Ms. Scarlet,” you chided.

He bit his lip, eyes pulsing with lust as he fought not to grin. You pressed your lips against his, turning to lay back on the couch and yank him on top of you. He chuckled into your kiss, as your hands moved to curl into his hair. His lust was a taste you could get drunk off if given the chance as his hands traveled the length of your body, moaning as you ground your hips against his, gripping into his clothes.

He leaned off of you momentarily to pull his shirt over his head as you slipped out of yours, you wrapped a leg around him, pushing him onto the couch instead and pinning him between your thighs as you straddled him, running your hands up his tattooed chest and connecting your lips again.

One of his large hands covered your breast as you began to grind your hips against his. His teeth grazed against your skin as he caressed your body while you moved against him, trying to create as much friction as you could against his jeans. He ran his fingers along the hem of your underwear, his lips curling into a smirk as he moved slightly to get a better look. "These are nice. Did you plan this?" He leered, snapping the elastic against your hip playfully. You rolled your eyes, pulling his chin towards you and pressing your lips against his. Every movement of his body seemed to lick at the fire deep within you.

You smirked breathlessly as his lips settled against your collarbones. “These are my church clothes. I had no other motive,” you jousted. His hand reached up to rest against your collarbone, his fingers lightly curling around your neck.

“Of course, how could I not realize,” he jabbed, pressing his lips and tongue against your neck. You moaned, tugging at his zipper before wrapping your hand around his cock, pumping him into harder arousal. He groaned against your neck, bucking into your hand lightly. His head tilted back against the couch beneath you, cheeks flushed at the attention. His teeth nipped at your skin as you ground yourself against his thigh, basking in his noises of pleasure.

His cock pulsed in your hand, making him grab your wrist and pull you beneath him. He gripped one of your legs, resting it in the crook of his elbow as he pushed himself into you, connecting your lips to swallow your moans. The feeling of him inside of you sent a wave of pleasure through your body. His voice was low in your ear, murmuring your name as if it were a curse. You moaned as he took one of your hands, lacing your fingers together beside your head as he kissed you again, tongue slipping into your mouth.

His thrusts became more rhythmless, his hold on you driving him deeper as the pool house filled with the noises of your whimpering moans. Karl’s breath was warm on your neck as he took advantage of your submissive state. He moved his hand from around your leg, wrapping his fingers around your neck again. Your body shivered, waiting for the pressure of his hand as his hips rocked against yours.

He chuckled darkly, teeth grazing against your shoulder before his lips hovered beside your ear. “Beg for it,” he commented, voice strained as he thrusted into you.

You swallowed, fingers digging into his back. “Choke me,” you groaned, “please.” His hand tightened around your neck, breath hitching in your throat as his thrusts became rougher. He bit back a smug grin at the way you reacted to his antics, relishing in your body beginning for more.

He relaxed his hand, pressing his lips to yours as you struggled to inhale. Heat ran through your body as your leg curled around his waist, nails raking down his back.

You leaned away from his lips, voice coming out unevenly as you moaned his name. His movements became sloppier as you groaned in bliss, tugging the flesh of his bottom lip between your teeth. You tipped your head back slightly as you reached your climax, riding out your pleasure and sending him over the edge as he pulled you closer to him, his hands digging into your hips as he encouraged you to continue grinding against him. You exhaled deeply, pressing your lips against his neck and his cheek before kissing him breathlessly as your movements slowed.

You pulled on your shirt, Karl’s hands moving to rest on your hips as he pressed a kiss to your neck. “Should we leave a note for Ms. Scarlet?” You joked, making him chuckle as his arms wrapped further around your waist, cheek pressing against your shoulder.

“Who?” He teased.

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[mystickingstuff]

"Relax, darling!" Kol Mikaelson x male reader

I don't really know what's that supposed to be but I like Kol a lot and... Well, that's it. The title and the gif don't really give a hint of anything, which is sad.

You never thought much about Klaus's family. Honestly, you never even thought you'd meet them.

The Original Hybrid was more than just your maker. Your savior. He showed you, the last of his hybrids, that you don't have to be a lone wolf.

So, when he said he's going to New Orleans, of course you go together. With or without the sire bond, he had your loyalty.

"Who's that?" You asked him when you guys went to this old house on the French Quarter. The place had some distinct stints. Rain, forest, a little sulfur... Magic.

"Do you remember how the Salvatores killed my little brother, Kol?"

"Yeah, you made me collect his ashes." You rolled your eyes, smirking.

"For a reason. I made some contacts and brought him back. As a witch, even. And I need you to protect him."

You shrugged, not really objecting. Orders were orders. Klaus held one of your shoulders and smiled. "You know you're important to me, right?"

"Yeah, the last of the hybrids and stuff." You agreed.

"Not only because of this." He made you look at him. "You made me feel like I wasn't an abomination that made other abominations when the world said otherwise. I will always be grateful for this."

Smiling, you hugged him. Had to take those rare moments where your alpha would open up so easily. "I love you, Klaus. So, go on. I'll take care of your lil brother.

And so, time goes by. The whole mess about Klaus's baby with the werewolf lost princess Hayley Marshall, Elijah showing up and then Rebekah too.

Apparently they didn't knew about Kol's ressurection, something about Klaus planning stuff.

"You know, love, we could just get out of this bloody house and have some fun, even that if only for a night." Kol said, one afternoon at the house you guys were in. "This place is covered by spells, I can use a glamour and you could... Definitely wear something better."

"Excuse me?" You laughed. "What is wrong with what I wear?"

"Nothing, it's just... Meh. And if you want to get laid with a girl-"

"I like boys, Mikaelson. Well, girls too. Actually, I like everyone. I'm bi, I guess." You shrugged, not really caring about labels.

"Oh. Okay. Well, then you really have to change your style. Be a little hot than just pajamas with crocks." He smirked.

Living with him was surprisingly good. Not as chaotic as Klaus made you think. Kol was as deep as the rest of the family.

One night, really late, he came to your room, asking if you could talk. He opened up about things. How being dead was like and how he missed his littlest brother, a boy named Henrik, even after a thousand years after his death.

And maybe, just maybe (for sure) you were having feelings for him. When he touched your shoulder, you'd have shivers running through your back.

When he talked, you just wanted to close your eyes and appreciate the sound of his voice.

And when he walked around shirtless... Good gods, that made your inner wolf howl.

But he was your alpha's brother. Not only that, he looked straight. So you buried your feelings, as you "should."

When everything was fine and Hayley finally gave birth to the baby, a little girl named Hope to which you instantly liked (because babies, you know? especially such an important baby), Klaus revealed who's the witch that helped him with his enemies.

So, yeah! The Mikaelsons were finally back together, everything was fine for once and they were a family again and all that.

"Hey, where are you going?" Klaus asked, showing up in front of the room you had at his house.

"I have some friends in New York. Gonna spend some time there. I mean, you don't need me anymore." You smiled. Not that you were sad, but it was a fact. He had his family. "Your brother can look out for himself."

"He can, for sure, but I need you around. You're family too, Y/N." Klaus said. "Hope could use an older brother."

"She will have Marcel." You smirked. "I think we both know I'll always be a burden to you, Klaus. I'm the last hybrid, a living memory from a time when you weren't so good as you're today."

"You are absolutely crazy!" He huffed, loudly. "You are not a burden to me, Y/N! You never were! You are important to me, to this family, to Ko-" He interrupted himself, but you got it.

"Kol? I mean, yeah, we're friends, but...

"He likes you, I noticed. You make him happy, even if you're both just too damn stupid to notice it. So, go on! Leave us! Make us feel like garbage for not being enough for you!"

You looked at him, changing glances. And then you both laughed like crazies. "That's low, Klaus!"

"Had to say something to make you stay. So please, stay. And talk with my brother before I have to make you both make out."

Later, during dinner, you sat between Hayley and Rebekah. In front of you, Kol tried to glance without looking obvious, to which he failed.

"Can't you guys just talk? This is making me disgusted. It's annoying. Just fuck already." Rebekah whispered to you. Of course, all the vampires could hear it, so when everyone but Kol giggled, he knew something was up.

"What?"

"Nothing. Your sister is just bugging me." You rolled your eyes, giving a little shoulder bump on her. "We could talk about her and Marcel, what about that!"

"Please, no. It's already too weird that my step-son is dating my sister, I don't need the details."

"Well, Y/N's basically your son too and Kol and him are teasing each other forever. Let's talk about that." Everyone was surprised that Elijah, of all people, came with that. Hayley giggled.

"Ah, well. There's no point in denying that I think this handsome warlock in front of me is hot as fuck." You blinked at him.

"I think I'm full of dinner already. Y/N, please, would you help me with some spells?" Kol got up, and went to you. Without even flinch, you got up and followed him.

Out of their sight, you guys made out passionately. And for a long time during your life (mortal and immortal), everything was fine. More than just fine, you were happy.

BONUS! Meeting Freya, after coming back from the honeymoon.

(because hell yeah you guys got married, and Kol was now a heretic. Something about his blood still having the vampire curse and activated when you guys got attacked by the Strix).

"What the bloody fucking hell have you got us all in now, Niklaus?!" Your husband said right after the teleport he casts worked on you both.

"Like we didn't had enough to give us headaches." Rebekah huffed, but came to you, giving a hug. "I missed you so much. How was Paris?"

"Great. We had the time of a life in there. The food was great, the fashion too, until a bunch of crazy Elijahs wannabe came after us!" You glanced to your former Alpha. "Could've told us there was a sireline war going on."

"I didn't knew. Until Lucian told me."

"Urgh. Lucian Castle. I remember when you introduced us to each other. I hate that guy. He's clearly jealous of you." You noticed, and then went to get some bourbon. And finally, you noticed her. "Hello?"

"Oh, yeah. That's our oldest sister. Long story short, she was not dead, but cursed to sleep for a hundred years. Meet Freya." Klaus introduced you to her. "This is Y/N, Kol's husband and a hybrid."

"Nice to meet you." She greeted. "Seems like I'm the only one without a person, huh?"

"I know a girl I could introduce to you." You smiled, already planning everything.

"Easy, Y/N, she's my sister, not a toy." Kol joked.

"Shut up." You smirked. Hayley called you, and came to the room with Hope on her shoulders. "Oh my god, she's all grown up!"

The Mikaelsons smiled. Even after all that time, it was so good to see Kol and you together.

[heli0s-writes]

IV. Symbiosis

Summary: “Since you’ve been caught—” Fury squints, “Canoodling With The Allegedly Injured James Barnes, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s already halfway finished with digging you up. Forgeries. Petty theft. Grand larceny. The damn rest of the kitchen sink. So, Ranger…” The way he says it is both lazy and threatening, completely on brand and irritatingly calm.

“Here’s my suggestion: get ahead of this thing before it knocks you on your ass.”

A/N: 4.8k words. I’m a liar who lies because after 4 months of overthinking and coming up with diddly squat, here is part 4 of Trinity Epoch sans smut. I’m sorry! I’ll double your pleasure next time. xx Thank you for sticking with me, I’m so sorry it’s taken so long.

Warnings: Language. References to canon-typical violence.

Trinity Epoch Masterpost

Bucky stays like that a while longer, just breathing.

Your fingers trace his hair—running through the strands, over the shell of his ear, then resting briefly on his cheek. All the ways you used to with Natasha when she’d break her own heart, or maybe ways you would have liked her to have done for you when you felt like you were dying a little bit.

You feel it now: a small death in the wake of last night’s simple touches. Your body and Steve’s body curled around each other sprung something immeasurable, as if the drift flowered then and ripened beneath your skins. You bit into it. You savored its taste. You could have lived on it alone.

Everything smears together like a child’s careless hand in a mess of paints until all the brights muddle dark. A shaky breath as you work yourself into calming, trying to find coherent words while your head remains a pot of sideways soup, at best.

Bucky shifts until he’s looking up at you, nose millimeters away. His irises are just a touch more gray, a sprinkle less green. You can see Steve in him, just as he can see Steve in you and then your eyes begin to prickle, Nat’s face undulating behind the burn.

You don’t really know what you want to say. Maybe apologize, run, beg for forgiveness, grab Bucky by the shoulders and shake him until he understands that you didn’t mean it— you didn’t mean to hurt him. That you love him. That he lives inside you, too.

His ghost from the drift— the aftermath phenomena of the neural bridge when pilots take on a bit of each other’s consciousness out of the cockpit and into the world with them. Take two people with a predisposition for the drift into the cockpit into each other’s brains and they exit heightened—sharper, better—imbued with each other’s strengths and knowledge. Mind-meld long enough, deep enough, and your core endures, but you become a different beast.

When Steve’s consciousness bled into yours, so did Bucky’s. If you walked away with half of Rogers, you also got a quarter of Barnes and it only compounded worse during Polidori’s drop. Resurrecting trauma, agitating itself, making a mess of your weary soul.

You relived his amputation last night, just as fresh as you relived Nat’s death. More visceral than the first trial run, you witnessed him—felt him—torn and hoarse, clutching his shoulder as he rocked helplessly inside Orion’s chest, frayed wires sparking across his cheek and landing in his own blood. His teeth gnashing together as he tried to hold on for Steve’s sake, steering his co-pilot’s panic back on course. Terrified and agonized, but he was hellbent on making it out.

Bucky who made you laugh. Bucky who took you to dinner. Who walked with you, gave you his jacket, listened to your rambling and crying, and kissed you because you reminded him of his co-pilot, or maybe of himself.  

How could you not love him, after all this?

Armageddon slows for nothing though, and before the first letter of his name can fall out recklessly from your mouth, three precise thumps jostles it back in.

Steve’s voice is muffled through heavy steel. “You in there?”

The door slides open with a tremulous croak but neither of you bother to separate. Nothing seems to matter now.

“Buck...” Steve looks from one raw face to the other, stepping forward and reaching out. He grasps Bucky’s hand. “We should talk—” he closes his mouth into a thin line, shoulders slumping heavily before letting go. “I’m sorry. Later. Shit’s hit the fan.”

-

The office is stagnant air full of questions but other than the squeak of the marshal leaning back in his chair, nobody makes a sound.

Fury untucks a finger from the crook of his elbow before pointing it between your eyes.

“Culpability.”

Across the room, you flinch in his crosshairs. Standing apart from them, you’re partially slack against one of many steel filing cabinets, using it to prop yourself up in case your knees might give out as vertigo descends.

It’s been a lot to take in. Everything— the night, the morning, emotionally, mentally, physically. The hull is a steel cage, and pilots are well armored, but you’re still hooked up to the robot enduring damage, taking hits at barely .0001 percent, but taking it all the same. You’re bruised up good beneath your clothes— Polidori’s claws leaving four tender imprints of a scratch to Orion’s right shoulder. Your shoulder. Steve’s shoulder.

To your right, he shifts. A tiny hint of pain streaks over his expression before it falls serene again, fixed on Fury.

“Since you’ve been caught—” the marshal squints, “Canoodling With The Allegedly Injured James Barnes, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s already halfway finished with digging you up. Forgeries, petty theft, grand larceny, the damn rest of the kitchen sink. So, Ranger…” The way he says it is both lazy and threatening, completely on brand and irritatingly calm.

“Here’s my suggestion: get ahead of this thing before it knocks you on your ass.”

This thing, being any story a 13-year old kid with two thumbs and a twitter account can spin between now and when you let Pepper Potts spin it for you first. There’s not a lot imagination can’t conjure to fill in the blank pixelated space between Bucky standing on the curb and you right behind him wearing his cap and jacket. Not to mention that once speculation goes live, it starts sprouting all sorts of appendages with minds of their own, and no matter how diligently you might cut one off, two would only sprout in its place.

The marshal stands up and takes heavy steps before turning the corner of his desk, absently tapping a pile of folders together like they’re not already in a perfect column. He slips a manila folder out from the stack and it becomes obvious that his suggestion is just buildup to some other type of impetus.

When you open the file up under his sharp gaze, you feel the blood drain from your face and possibly from your entire body.

The bullet he aimed between your eyes hits home. Cue your brains blowing out slow. Impetus met.

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky appears over your shoulder, staring at the same grainy photocopied document. “You can’t be serious.”

“Do I look like I make a lot of jokes?” Fury leans forward, pointer curving over the top edge, tapping emphatically one, two, three times, even waving it back and forth in front of your unseeing eyes. “I’ve got a good contact inside the PPDC who risked a lot to get this out. They’re just plans for now, dogeared behind other pages, but don’t doubt the Corps’ cowardice for a second. The second this program looks like it might not hold up, they’ll turn their efforts there.”

You’re gone. Trapped between the lines, vehemently scanning the page, reading the same words over and over until they no longer make sense. But it’s not like they made any sense in the first place.

ANTI-KAIJU WALL: CONSTRUCTION AGENDA. SPRING 2020.

The conception of a perimeter stretching around the Pan Pacific—North and Central America, East and South Asia to isolate emerging Kaiju. It’s a fetal skeleton at most, the roughest of outlines for a plan, and truthfully, it’s no plan at all.

It’s shameful. It’s shit.

The so-called Wall of Life implies the portending death of the Program—of all Shatterdomes and Jaegers. It implies no support, no funding, and no repairs. No Kodiak. No juniors. No future.

Back and forth, you’re still desperately inspecting as if the words might shift into a new message, maybe one that didn’t spell out certain extinction, but despair is rippling across your face. Bi Fang and Polidori had wings, and they were only Category II. Bi Fang massacred one of the best pilots you’ve ever known—and it was only a Category II. Any higher and they’d blow through that wall like a ribbon of wet toilet paper.

Hysteria creeps up at the mere thought of it, fear stubbornly lodging itself in your throat. Nuclear-powered automata—the only proven defense against the terror of massive alien attacks are being dismantled in favor of steel rods and cinderblocks. They might as well build it out of Legos.

Anti-Kaiju Wall. A string of ants meeting a boot.

You’re panting softly, tongue swollen in your mouth, shaking with equal parts terror and rage, on the verge of breaking into inappropriate laughter and yelling.

“What—what do they expect?” You croak, “The breach opens, the fucking thing comes out, sees a fence, and what—they think it’s—going to crawl back in…?”

“Hey, calm down,” Bucky curls his fingers around your elbow. His hand and its black plates are peering at you, purring, dull gold bands threading at the knuckles. For a second, the prosthetic disappears. For a second, he’s blood red again.

“Hey!” Bucky grips tightly when you sway. “I’m fine! Don’t—don’t.” Steve’s jaw is set firmly on your other side, arms crossed so severely his biceps bulge with the strain.

“Nick,” He’s abruptly brusque as he eases the file from your grip. “Give us a minute.”

“You’re in my office.” But the marshal’s words hold no bite. He’s already won; he knows. Cornered again, he’s got you same as before in Red Cloud. 

You get the gist: play out your redemption arc and come clean with your record. Win over the public, hoard all the additional support and funding you can because you’ll need every goddamn cent of it when the PPDC rips it away. The gossip. The photos. The headlines. It’s the perfect opportunity for a few hundred million when the media is putting a magnifying glass on your presence in Hong Kong.

Duty. Duty. Duty.

You’re just one small part of this colossal puzzle—a negligible smear of guts across the battlefield trying to keep the rest of the pieces together while the PPDC sits in their panic rooms throttling the entire fucking thing.

Fury steps to the cabinet and slides the file back in its place, keeping the illusion of it being just another unremarkable envelope in a row of hundreds of others. The metal drawer shuts with a clang, housing the most damning piece of information you’ve ever seen. His tact aside, you know he would never show you his hand like this if it wasn’t completely necessary—or pertinent.

Steve was right, you understand now.

The world owes you. And it owns you.

-

The next six—seven?—hours scatter like pulled teeth with your head spinning like a top the entire way. Pepper had been outside the door for the conversation, waiting on standby to whisk you off for princess lessons. Having already (and correctly) predicted your compliance, Fury scheduled an interview for precisely at nine. Then you were off, towed along by Miss Potts and her hasty strut.  

You try to find perspective, reminding yourself that you’ve successfully gone toe-to-toe with the Empire State Building with fifteen rows of teeth seven fucking times and come out on the other side alive and if not in one whole piece, then at least 2-3 relatively serviceable pieces. You’re functional. A little damaged, but fine enough. But there’s also the fact that you’d just hopped out of Orion not even 24 hours ago coupled with how you’re suddenly in the middle of something that feels less like a confused love triangle and more like divine providence at the end of the world.

Fuck. No time to think about it now. The human brain is not programmed to multitask, and you’re hanging on by a mere thread. You prioritize making it through the night just as alive as you can make it out of a drop. Just a couple of hours and you can rest. Just a couple more.

After what felt like an eternity and a half of simulating Q&A, practicing your posture, smiling into a mirror, and one horrible limo ride where you stared dead-eyed out the window—Steve and Bucky’s steely gazes after you—the building finally comes into view.  

Hair. Makeup. Wardrobe. You wear pants. You smile for the camera. You don’t stand in the middle of the group photo.

8:55 and time halts to a near stop. You can hear your heart in your throat, or in your skull. Your eyes feel switched from their sockets, or stomach rotated 30 degrees. Someone fixes your mic wire, your blouse collar, asking you to turn just a little over there. Three cameras are pointed to capture every angle, punitive red dots angry and glaring.

A live broadcast was agreed upon to ensure the least amount of potential edits and skews, as well as the charmingly quaint idea that it’s unscripted. The rub, therein, lies upon the burden of poise and a flawless performance. You rehearsed lines until your jaw felt like it was coming unhinged. Then you did it again. 

Everything requires precision, and you keep that in mind with your hand on the glass of Dom Perignon being constantly refilled. An amicable gesture by the hosts, but their intentions are cunning: loose lips sink ships, and they’re betting on yours to sink the S.S. Orion Bravo.

Out of view, the translator sits with her legs crossed, listening to the questions before turning the words over in English.

You take a sip of champagne and it fires off like a gunshot—Cantonese and English in rapid-fire verses.

<2017 was a fateful year for both the Jaeger Program and the world. Beloved pilot Natasha Romanoff sacrificed her life to protect Alaska’s coast in a final battle against Category 2 Bi Fang. Memorials dedicated to Romanoff’s efforts appeared across every nation to lament her death and celebrate her heroism. Yet, somehow, no one seemed to be asking the million-dollar question: Where is her co-pilot?>

<Two days ago, pictures were taken in Hong Kong of James Barnes and a mysterious woman. Our sources here at TVB have worked tirelessly to uncover her identity.>

<Today we have the pleasure of introducing her to everyone tuning in. This is the first time you’ve ever been in the public eye, and astonishingly, next to two of the best pilots in the Program. There are so many questions, but first, the whole world wants to know…. why keep it secret?>

The host’s open hand urges your reply.

The lights seem to turn up even brighter. Your back starts sweating. The room is about to collapse. In short, naturally­­—infuriatingly—you choke.

Seven hours of droning like a broken wind up toy, already knowing how to answer this question by heart, prepping yourself for the interrogation, the relentless demand to publicize your grief, to placate the people about your relationship with their heroes—and, you choke.

Bucky’s chin tilts microscopically in the corner of your line of vision. You’re fine, he’s saying, you got it. He’s strangely calm, even pleased, as you stutter involuntarily. Like he’s the first to remember an inside joke you’d long forgotten, his grin widens the longer you look at him. Steve turns next. Focus. Don’t fight the drift. The drift is silence.

And suddenly, your shoulders ease. The static in your exhausted brain slides out of your ears.

You sit up tall. You smile. It doesn’t quite feel like your smile, but, it’s a good one. You know this smile; it’s Steve’s smile. Like a seamless assembly, you fall into rhythm.

The white of his teeth slip out from between Steve’s lips. He notices too.

You calmly recite the introductory speech you’d been practicing for the last two hours, feeling out your new voice, borrowing from his bearing—deeper, smoother, certain. The major points get run through: your record and own personality traits keeping you from the spotlight, admitting genuinely that you’re pretty damn uncomfortable now, so they’ll have to forgive you for any slip ups. It goes over well, as Pepper predicted; “candid” blunders made Rangers human—made them likable.

When the subject of Anchorage rolls back around, you can practically feel Steve’s jaw bulging preemptively. You graze his foot with yours as a warning to back off.

<It’s remarkable that you were able to bring the Jaeger back to shore, there has been only one pilot who was capable of that—>

“I’m thankful to have had Stacker Pentecost as my mentor. I owe so much of my resilience to him. It was difficult, but simply put, I had no other choice. I feel so lucky to have survived it.”

<Natasha Romanoff-->

“She was one of a kind.”

<Was it hard to—>

“Yes.”

The host clears his throat, visibly awkward that you’re being so terse, but taking the hint until  Bucky turns into the spotlight, that divorced happiness he’s so skilled at beaming into the lenses. 

Steve easily picks it up, steering the conversation where he wants it to go. He’s disarmingly sincere as he relays the process of Bucky’s injury, replacement, apprehension, and finally success

His bright blue eyes flicker secret messages and you decipher them all.

“The connection was like—"

There’s a bell chiming in your ears. Bright, crisp chirps of it, cutting through laughter and bickering. You taste summer air in your throat, Bucky’s hair flying in the wind. “Riding a bike…”

“Exactly. New bike, same motions, and it worked. It was great. We learned things about each other. Some good, some bad—”

Crosshatched pencil lines of their shared apartment. Smudges of charcoal in a sketchbook. “He’s an unbelievable artist, but—”

“No— don’t say it!”

Bucky smothering a small kitchen fire. Steve throwing a damp rag on him in a frantic attempt to assist. Your voice is bubbling out gleefully. “—an awful cook!”

“It’s true,” Bucky smugly chimes in. “The boy can’t boil water. Breakfast eggs come with shells every time.” You can taste the grit between your molars—crushed grains inside an overdone omelet, Bucky spitting out spinach and feta cheese.

“Oh my god,” you sputter into a sip of champagne. “It’s so bad.”

“Do you see what I have to deal with? Two people knowing my secrets. Two.”

<Fantastic! Already we can see a great friendship here—>

It seems congratulatory, but there’s determination to drive into scandalous territory, poking at any rumor to lance and leak. A sly smile crosses his face as his assistant shows photos of you and Bucky in the city, but the lurid suggestion only gets shrugged off. “We’d gone out for dinner. It was the first time I’d left the Shatterdome after Seigehook and I needed moral support.”

<The jacket tells a different story.>

“I’d give you my jacket if you looked cold.”

<Steve, Ophelia isn’t concerned that your new co-pilot is a woman?>

“No, absolutely not. ‘Lia’s the first person to support Orion—and the loudest. I don’t know what I’d do without her. You don’t have her behind the curtain, too, do you?”

<Well, what about personal memories? Won’t you know everything about each other…? Private things?>

“Sure, but what pair of pilots don’t? You got twins and siblings, not just married couples. Look, here’s the thing: the neural bridge doesn’t take you to a filing cabinet. It’s not open like that. It’s more like—somebody help me—” Bucky snaps his fingers your way, “—what’d you call it the other day?”

You didn’t, but you say, “A dream?”

“Right, a dream. If you think about it, you can pull on it, but if it’s not in the forefront of your mind. It’s a non-issue.”

“We’re all adults here,” Steve confirms.

<Do you plan for James to return to the cockpit? Is that the goal? James, how do you feel about all of this, taken away from your own Jaeger?>

Steve’s palm faces outward as if keeping the host at bay— or, you think, keeping himself at bay.  “Hold on. This isn’t about replacement. Nobody is framing it like a nail in the coffin—we’re in the interim of a period of time, readjusting. Short of death, nothing is going to take him away.”

Sunlight. Recruitment. Ice baths. Training until they had to carry each other to bed. Your eyes flutter, head pilfering through the memories like instinct.

“James is still Orion’s co-pilot.” You agree. Apprehension. Dread. Terror. Confidence in each other even when they didn’t believe in themselves. They were together. Nothing else mattered. “Steve’s co-pilot.”

The tight look on his face is temporarily wiped as he beams proudly, “He’s my Bucky. Always has been, always will be.” He claps Bucky on the back twice and each thump’s echo bounces its way into your chest.

Bucky bristles and sputters, but a healthy pink dusts its way across his cheeks, “Don’t embarrass me, Rogers.”

“Are you blushing?” You tease, elated.

“Don’t you start, either.”

<Well… this is very wonderful. Is there a possibility we’ll be seeing a triple-piloted machine? The Tang triplets have been in talks for a new model.>

Steve shakes his head. “We haven’t discussed it yet. Nothing’s off the table, by any means. Just not priority at the moment.”

<What is priority at the moment?>

“Normalcy, as much as we can get in the middle of all this.” Bucky holds out his hand, closing it into a fist, letting the camera zoom in. “We’re… still working through all the kinks, balancing the personal and global.” 

He flexes his fingers, letting the microphones pick up the drone of machinery, but his meaning is another secret. Clicking Morse codes of well-oiled obsidian plates purring two names. You’ve stopped listening to everything but the echo incandescent in your heart.

You down your glass.

-

Champagne tipsy, you try not to stagger through the lobby. The doorman nods toward the limousine parked faithfully by the curb.

The barrage of questions slowed after it became apparent that there would be no sensationalist headline. There was attention to Bucky’s arm, his handsome face, of course, before the banter quickly devolved into entertaining frivolous sidebar queries. Five flutes bubbled down your throat and by the end of it, you no longer wanted to grab camera one and shake the shit out of it, anger whittled down to a dull hum of annoyance.

Thirty million stupid dollars for inane reels of:

What’s in your purse? What do you eat? How do you stay feminine in a Shatterdome full of testosterone—have you tried any K-beauty skincare routines? Do you have anyone special in your life?

Bucky went in, then, leaning forward until he was nearly rocking off and leveled his glare. You know she’s on the other side of the same robot, buckled up into a ninety-pound rig steering two-hundred tons of—

It took a miracle (see: Steve’s firm hand discreetly on the back of Bucky’s neck and Pepper drawing a sharp line across her throat) to effectively halt the derailing train.

“I can’t believe,” Bucky grouses now, opening the door and waving the driver back to the front. “Those goddamn questions.”  

“Does wiping my sweaty face with my even sweatier shirt count as skincare? What’s the K stand for?”

Bucky smacks the back of your head with one hand, other clumsily yanking the door open with the other. “For Korean—have you been living under a rock? Just—get in the fuckin’ car.”

You slap him back. “Quit it, you invalid.”

“Invalid? I’ll show you a fuckin’—Steve, did you hear—”

“Both of you, get in the car.”

And you shriek, scrambling in and yanking Bucky along by the scruff of his jacket. Mischief courses beneath your skin, encouraged by clever alcohol, now fully buzzed its way to every extremity.

Still giggling and leaning into the thrill of it, you slump over the smooth plastic molding of the door and press your face against the tinted window. It’s a cool reprieve on your warmed cheek, frosting when your temperature meet the glass. Bucky’s easy Cantonese, albeit slurred, is requesting a ride back to base. His hand has found its way into yours, fingers laced large and warm, clasping tight before he lets go.

“Haven’t had a drink—oh--” you murmur, catching yourself as the wheels shift.

“Since Red Cloud.”

“Outta my head, Rogers.”

“Says the person who kept finishing my sentences during that interview.”

“It’s the champagne! It makes me—“

“Stupid?”

“You’re an ass, Barnes.” But you’re laughing at him, at the way he’s smirking— cheeks gone ruddy. Both of them, open beside each other, heads inclined intuitively together. It makes you ache to see—to experience again after disruption—Rogers and Barnes. Barnes and Rogers. Perfectly fitted.

The partition slides up. The sunroof tugs open with a whistling draft.

Hong Kong’s lights are vivid—too much to properly see the extent of space’s beauty, but there are a few twinkles you’re able to make out in the moonless night as light poles and skyscraper tips whiz overhead. They’re brighter than most, simple to spot patterns in the dark.

“Orion’s out tonight,” you mutter, moving to catch the line of its belt, “Look. Beneath his feet is Lepus, the hare, pursued for all time.” From across, Steve follows, also looking to find their hero as your hair rustles wildly, making a hurricane against your ear.

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic,” Bucky scolds. He’s annoyed and comfortable on leather, ankle crossed over opposite knee. “You’re not being chased by anything. Besides, if you were a constellation, you’d probably be the soup ladle.”

You laugh. He’s always playing the part of a stoic so well. “Hey, I’ll have you know the Little Dipper’s got the north star in it. That soup ladle’s gonna be the thing that gets you home when you’re lost.”

The tone shifts—time dragging its pace as you look at them in wonder. The city’s overripe heaviness of the blows through, making goosebumps on heated skin.

“Buck,” Steve says, and Bucky slips his jacket from his shoulders to slide over yours. He tugs the lapels down like he’s trying to keep you on earth and your hands clasp on his wrists for a second before you let go. They’re both sitting up now, watching your bleary gaze unfocus.

Steve and Bucky oscillate in front of your eyes, their lines blurring until it doesn’t really matter who you’re looking at—until they become one. So easy, like this, just them like two sides of the same coin, belonging so seamlessly to each other.

“Sorry,” you blurt in shame, “I feel like I fucked it up. Ruined a thing that wasn’t mine to ruin.”

“Think you put it together,” Steve responds quietly, and the simplicity of his statement throws you off. “We found our way.”

“Soup ladle,” Bucky jokes.

“But, aren’t we just trading one war for another? World peace only made it because of monsters.” Unspoken questions hidden inside large-scale metaphors— symbiosis could only be achieved under the lies of other relationships. Whatever this would be, it wouldn’t be accepted. Steve still retains his supermodel girlfriend and you and Bucky dutifully fall in line for your own packaged little PR lies.

He shrugs. “I’m fine with losing a few battles in this war, but Orion’s got a good track record, doesn’t it, Buck?”

“Twelve— thirteen kills, sweetheart.” Bucky’s grin is lopsided. “Don’t forget you made that happen.”

“Thirteen’s an unlucky number.”

“Feels lucky to me.” Steve’s hand wraps around your wrist, thumb resting on your pulse. He taps your skin, looking genuinely apologetic. “Listen, all I can do is ask— and I’m not good at asking for things. I just want to make them happen.” A quick glance at the watch under his cuffs and he tugs at your arm like a lost child, “So, before we get back… will you come here?”

As he said, he’s not really asking. More like reaching his will out to you, finding you when you’re caught in the undertow and pulling you back to safety. To them. Okay. Okay.

Your footing slips, but they take your hands and turn you carefully, letting you settle in between. Bucky hums a low sound, fingers curling around your waist. Steve does the same to the opposite side and you feel both torn apart and held together by them.

Steve nuzzles your neck, hot on your skin.

“She was wrong,” he whispers, barely audible over the sound of your rising breath, “You know that? She was wrong, and I was wrong. I thought it couldn’t happen—thought I had other priorities, other things to manage and settle and save and... I lost sight of what matters most. But I’m gonna really fix it this time—I’m gonna do it right by you.” 

He looks to Bucky, pained and relieved, “Both of you, I promise.” He takes Bucky’s hand in his own and holds it to his mouth, kissing his knuckles, his palm, saying softly, “I love you, Buck. I’m sorry you waited so long.”

“Hey stupid,” Bucky says shakily when your chin starts to quiver at the sight of them. He’s sniffling and swallowing his syllables, unable to stop himself from staring at Steve’s face in his hand, how Steve kisses the blue pulse in his wrist. “Ain’t you—too pretty to cry?”

The rocking of the car flattens out as Steve gently presses his lips to yours, letting the trail of salt bursting down your cheek into his mouth. He moves to the line of your jaw, promising,

It’s okay. I got you. Nothing’s gonna hurt you anymore.

They kiss you and the world turns itself right.

They kiss you and then they kiss each other. Again and again and again.

[darkmisstressofunknown]

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[cosmicbash]

it’s always jelus and insecure em!! i wanna see jelus and insecure kells!!!!

They're divorced. Twice.

It's public knowledge, and the majority of the sordid details behind their shitshow of two marriages are too.

And Marshall's his. The little sparkle of one of his own earrings reflecting from inside the older man's lobe and the heavy droop of his sweater on the smaller rapper's shoulder's only emphasizes that. The same way his presence here at a close family and friends holiday party does.

Marshall's his. His boyfriend, his lover, his partner. His. No one elses.

But. That sickly sour taste of insecurity is tickling the back of his tongue with each bitter bite the blonde finds himself taking of a gingerbread cookie. His eyes are locked across the room on Marshall's fluffy santa hat decorated head, the cute christmas centric outfit he was wearing no longer warming Colson's heart like it had only an hour prior. Marshall looks too good in it, all soft and dressed down from his usual monochrome track suits and that was exactly the problem. Colson hates how good he looks right now, knowing the man's ex also got to see it, up close and much too personal for his preference.

It wasn't like he had any real reason to worry. Kim was here because of the kids. Not because Marshall directly invited her. It was a pleasantry between exes, done solely to keep the peace and feign some level of normalcy to their children. Even long after all of them had grown up.

And the two weren't exactly on great terms. Marshall still cringed at the very mention of her and from the dirty look she shot the man's way the second they opened the front door she hinted it was mutual.

But, Colson also knows the rapper isn't against hate sex. Afterall, if Marshall was, him and Casie wouldn't have been scrambling to finish all these damn gingerbread men this afternoon. They'd be miles away in Cleveland or LA, celebrating their own christmas, never knowing Marshall's "secret recipe".

It's frustrating to say in the least.

"I see Kim's round for her bi-yearly intereference." A soft bump to his shoulder drags Colson's eyes away from the locked position he's held for over a half hour. Royce's smug smiling face replacing it as he turns.

Colson's still not sure if he can call himself and Ryan friends just yet, there's a past there between the rapper and Marshall as well that's he's only gleamed surface of, on top of the usual tension that comes from an overprotective friend meeting the new "boyfriend". But unlike Kim, Ryan will at least acknowledge his existence so that makes it a bit easier for him to handle. "Bi-yearly interference?"

"Yeah," The other rapper's smirk only seems to widen into a grin as he shakes his head and downs what's left of his drink. "That's the kindest word I can use with the girl's around." Ryan's motioning with his head to follow him around the countertop for some more and despite how much Colson appreciates his current vantage point he accepts the invitation if not for something better to do.

Better than getting called out for staring like a jealous tween girl at least.

"She does this every other year, or just any year Marsh manages to bring home a lady finally-" Ryan's ring clad fingers shake the bottle of spiked eggnog his way. Colson accepts that too with quick nod, letting the 'lady' dig sent his way pass without acknowledgement. "She shows up in that stupid baby blue dress, hair freshly dyed, face done up to the nines, all that shit she'd do back when her and Marsh were still together and she was his-" quick pause in pouring for signed quotation marks, Ryan's eye roll visible even through his shades. "Dime piece." The confirmation of something being up with her less than Christmassy themed outfit only stokes the fire in Colson's stomach though and makes his neck itch to twist back around but Ryan is continuing. "And then she flaunts their ex status like its some trophy whoever Marshall's seeing should be jealous of."

Even the quick toss of some eggnog into the back of his mouth doesn't smother his fire. If anything the weak liquor filled drink puffs like gasoline for Colson's nerves. "And what? She's gonna try and fuck him? Break us up?" Either of those things would happen over his dead body, or hers. He's not against slapping a bitch when it comes to his love life. "So much for him being the bitter yearning ex huh."

Ryan gives a little snort and nod before retopping up his drink. "Funny how that works aint it?"

Now Marshall's presence behind his back feels like a super magnet. Colson's eyes a set of steel balls trembling right before they're whipped back across the room to land on their target. He doesn't want to look just yet though, not now that he knows this jealous pit in his stomach is just further feeding into Kim's scheme. So he settles his eyes onto Ryan's shimmering gold chain instead. "Kinda dumb to compete with a dude by flaunting her old saggy tits and ass though." If Kim knew Marshall half as well as he does she'd know that neither of those can come close to competing with the huge cock hanging between his legs. "If he really needed to look at those there's at least 4 better pairs bouncing around the room right now."

Plus Colson had already taken a glimpse at Kim's flat ass on her way inside, the sad outline of a butt pad was clear as day to anyone within 20 feet of her.

"5 if you count his own." The honesty in Ryan's comment flashed a small strike of Colson's jealousy his way too. The clink of their glasses together in mutual agreement a little harder than needed. "I wouldn't waste your time worrying about it. Been like 6 or 7 years since she was actually successful with it."

"Yeah?" That still felt a little too soon for Colson's comfort. Even if he was only a sniveling brat in Marshall's mind back then.

"Yeah man, trust me, he ain't gonna risk shit with you for Cursed Kim over there." By now Colson's gaze has followed Ryan's, settling rather anxiously on the two with just as much intense focus as he had earlier. The small touch of Kim's fingers to Marshall's bicep tightening his own around the glass.

"For her sake he better not."

"Yeah?" Ryan's shoulder bumping his jostles his attention away again, this time the man is staying closer though. His warm breath felt on Colson's face when their eyes meet. The pretentious shades finally having slipped low enough to flash serious brown orbs. "He cheats and you gonna whoop HER ass? You that obsessed with Marsh?"

Colson can hear the disbelief, and see the close scrutiny he's suddenly being put under. But he doesn't back down from the look one bit. "If he fucks up that's on him, but he's still mine and I'm not gonna toss him over to her just because he acts like an idiot." Marshall cheating would hurt. Colson's already gone through that awful fear once before though, back when they had just started fucking and the question of monogamy came up. The mere thought of the other man touching someone else had almost killed him, and they weren't even dating yet. But it had also set Colson's mind that even if it did happen he wouldn't limp off to lick his wounds.

He's only going to dig his claws in deeper and stake his claim louder.

Marshall's his. Even if he fucks up and forgets that for a moment. He's his and Colson's never letting him go.

"He's mine."

Kim's manicure on his man's bicep is only temporary. Colson's gaze and quick feet will make sure of that.

"Damn, you might be worse than both of them, kid."