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#marshel's shitty humanstuck thing
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Family dynamics for my silly humanstuck au
Because having every family consist of two siblings and one parental figure felt really forced. All lussi are humanized.
Megido: Damara is the Handmaid's daughter, and Aradia is Ram Mom's daughter. The Handmaid is trapped in the clown cult and playes basically the same role she does in the comic. She gave Damara to Ram Mom because her position in the cult prohibits her from having kids at all and keeping her around was putting both her and her kid in danger. They were both raised by Ram Mom and told they were siblings, but Damara knows that's a lie because she was there for the cult stuff and Aradia knows because she has any level of observation skills.
Nitram: Nitram is in quotation marks because they are in no way related. Rufioh is a kid in the same neighborhood as Tavros who hangs out at the same places and shares a lot of interests and helps Tavros with his school work and personal issues. Their relationship is sibling like enough in nature that they just refer to each other as their older/younger brother when referring to them in conversation. Summoner is Tav's dad, Tinkerbull is Rufioh's dad who considers Tavros honorary family.
Captor: Captor is also in quotation marks bc they're not related either. The biclopse lussus has been split into two people for this au and Sollux and Mituna are honorary family by virtue of their dads hanging out a lot. Mituna calls Sollux his cousin for convenience. Sollux explains the situation once to new people and from there on refers to him with an extensive inventory of mean spirited nicknames.
Vantas: They actually are related so uhh here's a fun fact that is fun. The Signless (grandpa in this dynamic) was a pastor (and also the Dolorosa's adopted kid btw. This gives the Mariyams and the Vantases a really weird relationship) and bc of that Crabdad is super aggressively religious. Kankri will tell you he's Christian because "he believes in the message not the literal interpretation" and then explain to you why organized religion is evil in the same breath. Karkat is 100% atheist and pissed that it's even a thing he has to think about on a daily basis.
Leijon: They're also just regular ol siblings. Meulin has cut off contact with everyone but Nepeta and doesn't get invited to family stuff though, she had a really big falling out with everyone over her involvement with the clown cult. Nepeta was too young to get the full details of that and doesn't really care enough to ask questions. They talk daily and have a good cool relationship.
Mariyam: The Dolorosa adopted Grub Mom way late into her life which is why Porrim and Kanaya are the same ages as Kankri and Karkat. Kanaya and Porrim are both test tube babies. They actually have a healthy functional family dynamic so idk what else to say.
Pyrope: Once again not related. Don't even live close enough to physically meet up. They met online through epic gaming and Latula became kind of a sister figure for Terezi after they bonded over the shared experience of needing to raise yourself because your parents didn't. (Terezi's dragon mom is alive and loving and she gives the best advice ever but she's also too bedriddenly sick to do much actual work. And I'm thinking Latula grew up in foster care maybe.)
Serket: They're cousins who don't talk much but keep up with each other on social media and look up to each other in the way where they both go "wow she's so cool!!" online and then when they actually meet up they realize they annoy the hell out of each other. Vriska has Spider Mom (who is probably less murdery but still abusive) and Aranea has Mindfang (who is pretty absent and may or may not be deep in some really sketchy shit. Vriska and Aranea both idolize her way too much.)
Zahhak: I don't remember why I came to this decision so it may be subject to change, but I remember thinking it was clever as fuck when I did. They're blood related siblings, but they're both adopted. Into different households. They found out about each other because they went to the same school district all their lives and Equius's teachers kept being like "Equius Zahhak??? Is Horuss your brother" and after years of being like "Whomst" he eventually looked him up and realized that yeah I guess he is my brother actually. Equius stopped talking to him or mentioning him to anyone after like 3 Facebook messages but Horuss tells literally everyone he knows about it as if they actually has a sibling bond. Also the plotline of him deciding to get closer to Meulin because he saw what Eq and Nep have and went "I want that" remains the same.
Makara: I don't know (or really care honestly) if they're biological siblings or not but it really doesn't matter. Their dad fucked off out of their life when they were really little and Lord English indoctrinated them into the cult by giving them a home and family in it. (He did this solely because he was old and gonna die soon and he needed at least one trusted and devote member to raise his kid in accordance to the cult rules by the way.) Gamzee and Kurloz consider the Cult of the Messiahs their family and they live together with Calliope and Caliborn. They consider the two of them brothers and they have a secret cult dlc relationship to the Cals.
Ampora: Normal siblings so ummmmmmmm. Seahorse Dad is a rich and successful guy with a Reputation. He tried to raise Cronus super strictly but he chipped away at his willpower fast, so now Cronus is the most reckless entitled adult ever and Eridan gets everything he wants handed to him on a silver platter. Fun!
Peixes: They are siblings but they don't have a familial bond because their mom never treated the household like a family. Gl'bgolyb is also a rich successful girlboss (I mean like she inherited all of Condy's stuff and then didn't expand upon it or go out of her way to achieve anything more, but she still manages all of Condy's stuff, which is a lot of stuff.) She tried to raise Meenah to be the perfect heir but she was not down for that so all it accomplished was giving her the skills to more successfully do the opposite of whatever Gl'bgolyb wanted. As a result Meenah is kind of seen as a family disgrace. While she was trying to raise Meenah Feferi got shoved to the side as the Other Kid and was treated less like a daughter and more like a freeloader (which her constant insistence that the company's business practices were flawed did not help). But now Gl'bgolyb has no one to leave her company to except two kids she views as disappointments (She has her eye on her niece Jane though). Feferi and Meenah have started to bond a little bit (like a microscopic bit) over this, but Meenah still needs to unlearn the "you are competing against your sister for the company and if you trust her she will ruin you" mentality that Gl'bgolyb instilled into her. Also sidenote Condy's dynamic with all the humans she adopted is exactly the same as it is in canon, down to her marrying Colonel Sanders. Also the clown cult has serious beef with CrockerCorp.
Cals: As previously mentioned, Lord English (leader of the clown cult and considered to be god by his followers) is their dad and he left them with the Makaras. Calliope doesn't want anything to do with the cult but loves Gamzee and Kurloz as family nonetheless. Caliborn is her headmate and considered by the cult to be Lord English reincarnated, and boy howdy he sure is Caliborn.
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Family/Interpersonal relations tree for a humanstuck au that I desperately need to pick back up
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(Color key under cut bc I couldn't figure out how to make it not ugly)
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