The Death of Gwen’s Butterflies
This post is just the slightest bit spoilery about Love Unlimited #46 staring Gwenpool which came out this last Thursday. If you’re worried about being spoiled, don’t click the keep reading.
There is nothing more rewarding as a comic book writer than coming up with a concept in a script that illustrates something that isn’t physical or easily visible and having an art team just get it and knock it out of the park. That is what @bailiesartblog and Kelly Fitzpatrick did for me on this most recent chapter of Gwenpool and I couldn’t be happier.
It’s about the process of going through a relationship right? And there’s this moment at the end of issue 2 where Gwen has been bemoaning that she just doesn’t get this feeling that other people get. She wants to get butterflies in her stomach about another person. Then she’s almost smashed by a big monster and she’s literally swept off of her feet by Julie Power. Like so:
and, as you might imagine, it has this effect
Of course it does. Who wouldn’t swoon over Lightspeed, national treasure, bisexual who leaves a literal rainbow trail when she flies rescuing them. Gwen is not the first.
Julie also feels it and they grab a meal at a diner
And it all results in Julie eventually asking Gwen out and Gwen accepting.
Surprising everyone, things go great. Gwen enrolls in Julie’s college, they do superhero stuff together, they go on romantic walks. As Gwen tells us, things are perfect. She keeps telling us that. But there’s this tension growing behind her words that we wanted to illustrate because Gwen thinks she should be happier. She should want the things that she has. The things that everybody theoretically wants. After all, she has this moment to point to. This moment where she felt those butterflies that everyone’s told her about.
as she is telling the story of her relationship with Julie she keeps coming back to this moment and talk about how she feels...felt...
And I had this idea that as she’s telling us about her relationship and how great it’s going, she keeps bringing up that moment in her mind, but the feeling is fading and we can see this because behind her, the image is fading.
And so many of us know that feeling, regardless of the reason. You know that at one point you felt this way and now you just want to get back to that feeling but the more you try to pull it back the more it fades. Especially for Gwen, this was a moment of self-discovery when she felt a way about a person for a first time and in her case it was the first time that she’s attempting a f/f relationship and it’s with somebody she really likes and cares about, but at a certain point she just can’t deny that...
It isn’t the same any more. Butterflies have a short lifespan and you can’t force yourself to feel a way you don’t feel, even if you felt that way before. She wants to want something. She wants to hold onto this feeling she had. But it’s faded. That feeling has gotten away from her and she hits a moment where she just can’t pretend any more.
And gosh, it’s a powerful feeling and it’s so amazing as a writer to see that idea come to life on the page. Bailie and Kelly really illustrated a feeling through the use of Gwenpool’s actions in the foreground and the color in the background even as Gwen’s narratation is trying to do the opposite. Man, that feels so cool to see!
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