This is one of Alexandra Petri’s best columns. It is satire in its most heartbreaking form. The column is so good, I am using a gift link, so anyone can read the entire column, even if they don’t subscribe to The Washington Post. Below are some excerpts from this column:
I can think of nothing worse than children — in school, sitting at their desks, reading banned books. A horrible thought, all those children solemnly holding books in their hands and reading them and putting the thoughts in those books into their minds. Learning the wrong lessons and growing up — the wrong way. Growing all the way up. Getting to grow up and think thoughts about those improper things they read in unsanctioned books, their whole lives, maybe. Horrible. I can think of nothing worse. Children who get to be 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 and beyond — children who get to grow and have children of their own, and call their mothers or forget to call them, children who get to see the places they always wanted to see and children who get to be the best aunts in the world, but one afternoon in 2023 they read a book I didn’t approve of. I can’t imagine anything more horrible. Something must be done. To protect the children, we must stop at nothing.
[...]
I can’t think of anything worse than children reading history and feeling bad. Imagine, children, going home alive to their parents and complaining that they were made to feel bad by reading about the horrible events of the past. Can you think of a worse thing? Imagine that happening to a child. Imagine being a parent, and seeing the door open, and your child come through it, unharmed, with a complaint about a textbook. Unthinkable. Awful. Frightening. We must pass legislation.
I can’t think of anything worse than children going to a library to hear a drag queen read a story. Children sitting there alive in a library, hearing a story, surrounded by books and glitter, laughing. Children having a pleasant time, feeling as though there was nothing to be afraid of and going home happy. Can you think of anything worse? No, no. We must stop this at once. There must be laws. We must take action. We must protect the children from this awful fate.
Can you think of something worse? Are you thinking of something worse? Don’t worry: I will not think of it. I will not legislate about it. I will not give it a moment’s concern. To protect the children, I will stop at nothing. At absolutely nothing.
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revealing that the nashville shooter is supposedly transgender, without revealing what gender they id as or any other information other than that, being a former student, and a name... absolutely evil, because it allows people to construct their own narratives and this is going to mean so many awful people blaming the entire trans community (and assuming the shooter is a trans woman bc transmisogyny)
(edit: i wrote this rly early in the morning when reading the news, see tags and notes for more thoughts ig cuz im making this unrebloggable bc transphobes r annoying)
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so I live in Iowa and there was unfortunately a shooting in Perry and 1 6th grader was killed and 7 were injured, then the killer committed suicide on live and today we were supposed to wear blue for Perry, but guess what, literally no one is wearing blue. I’m so sick of this shit I’m literally currently writing this in the school stall rn and I’m trying not to cry it’s just terrible, it was a fucking mass shooting and Perry is very similar to where I live in Iowa like very similar and I’m freaking out, please send love to Perry
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We put life and death responsibility on our children, because the adults are too cruel or cowardly to handle the situation. What a shameful nation.
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Ted Cruz is suggesting that there should be armed police people in schools to “deter mass shootings.” We already have armed police in elementary schools. You wanna know how useful they are?
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