#maybe I can give her my old switch for like wii sports and animal crossing. give her something to do idk

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

The way my aunt jumps through hoops to choose the stupidest options available to her whether it be passively or actively makes me want to bash my head into wall

It used to be an occasional thing that was irritating before but ever since she retired, and she does nothing all day except watch AI generated tik toks, buying drop ship shit off tik Tok, watch novellas that all share the same plot and play mindless phone games is imo actively making her not think. Like at least my grandma reads her Bible and goes through her bills and tends to her garden, my aunt does nothing, besides occasionally driving, and helping clean the kitchen, and mop, but we all do cleaning throughout the day, she doesn't even read the books she buys from Amazon

Like when she clicked on a scam link on her phone and then proceeded to not say anything about it for four weeks, when she got logged out of Pokemon go and somehow managed to just send the verification code to some random persons email and thought that email WAS the verification code itself and honestly so many other things. She really didn't do her hobbies much before retirement but damn at least work made her think and do stuff. I don't even know where I'm going with this post, but it's so frustrating and concerning. I've tried suggesting things she could do or we could do but she doesn't really entertain those ideas outside of just going to the park for Pokemon GO

[lscholar]

A SEMI-REASONABLE 40 CHARACTER SMASH ROSTER

An exercise in indulgence and egoism, and posted as the same.

THE RULES:

1. Characters shall be semi-reasonable! Beatoriche I love you but this needs to be a roster composed of characters who could conceivably actually make it into Smash. They should be from video games, and ideally ones people care about.

2. Characters shall be gender balanced! I separated my picks into four categories: GUYS, GIRLS, and CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager). the number of GUYS shall be EQUAL TO OR LESSER THAN the number of GIRLS. I set this restriction on myself and so should you.

3. Characters shall be 40 of them! but you could tell that from the title.

GUYS

MARIO - You have to have this guy. also like it's been like 20+ years since Sunshine can we not give him something other than FLUDD?

DONKEY KONG, LUIGI, NESS, BOWSER, FOX, WARIO - You also have to have these guys. I cut Captain Falcon, as we already had Fox as a Smash original character.

LINK - Someday we will be able to put Link in the CHARACTERS OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER list, but not yet.

KING DEDEDE - Sakurai made this so his faves get a little extra attention. I claim that same right.

SNAKE - Updated for MGSV, naturally.

SONIC (Palette Swap: SHADOW) - I really really don't care about these guys. I kind of actively hate them actually. but they deserve to be here, even if all their moves are the same (turning into a ball and the ball flies at you).

CLOUD - The iconic Final Fantasy pretty boy. Would I prefer Lightning? yeah. but this is the semi-realistic roster.

PHOENIX WRIGHT - I know, preaching to the crowd here. This guy is a tumblr darling behind only his boyfriend Miles Edgeworth. But they've put him in fighting games before! And he totally has a moveset, right? Presenting his badge as a jab, shooting OBJECTION and TAKE THAT! (HOLD IT! is a grab!), submitting paperwork and random items hoping and praying that they'll be accepted as evidence...

Barely missed the cut: Sans Undertale, Sekiro, Shulk, Solaire, Paper Mario, Sora.

GIRLS

SAMUS - You have to have this girl.

PEACH/DAISY - Ideally Daisy would get Luigified (this is the very technical term for when a Smash character starts out as a clone and then gets differentiated) as the Mario Sports Game Representation. But that probably wouldn't happen. Peach is fine. kind of

ZELDA (Breath of the Wild/Tears Of The Kingdom) - The opposite of the Smash Ultimate dynamic. Smash Lscholar Link is old-school Link; Zelda is newer Zelda. Like in Hyrule Warriors she fights using runes on her magic ipad/wii u pad/nintendo switch game console. Bombs, Ice Block, Ultrahand - and the ability to Recall all of them, sending them flying backwards along their trajectories when the attack is reinput. An evil zoner but let's be honest: she already is. Maybe she has a "take a picture" that can stun?

ISABELLE, ROSALINA - both need reworks. Isabelle in particular has the potential to be a Kirby for new players - but hitting with her is so hard that most try her for a round and play Toon Link instead.

BAYONETTA - No notes.

HORNET (Hollow Knight: Silksong) - Clear moveset, fan favorite, zero questions.

D.VA (Overwatch and, fine, Overwatch 2) - The single most popular Overwatch character by far, and a much needed female heavyweight character. Would translate pretty well to Smash as a pushy zippy tank-type.

EDELGARD VON HRESVELG (Fire Emblem: Three Houses/Three Hopes) - big smashy axe, avowed militant atheist, Vriska, Fire Emblem rep. Smash Lsclr's Ike. Slow but dangerous, with surprising range, much like Byleth; unlike Byleth she is an actual character. also her axe twirl has to be a taunt. Also she's canonically bisexual. which would make her the second bisexual smash character after Snake, and the third in my heart after Cloud Strife (Byleth isn't real).

REIMU HAKUREI (Touhou) - Iconic rep from possibly the single most important indie game series.

CHUN LI (STREET FIGHTER) - Honestly surprised they put Ryu in Smash. I feel like if you asked anybody to name a Street Fighter character Chun Li would be first?

UNDYNE (Undertale) - Fine. Susie (Deltarune) is also acceptable.

VI or JINX or SOME LEAGUE OF LEGENDS GIRL (LoL) - as with Sonic I don't care for these but they have undeniably earned their places. Arcane was better than it should have been and I really hope Mel Medarda survives into s2.

SABER (Fate/Stay Night) - It's Saber! I know this seems like a meme pick but I really do think she deserves to be here.

Barely missed the cut: Karlach or Shadowheart, The Silent, Arle Nadja, Vriska

CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager)

PIKACHU - You have to have this thing. Brand recognition on par with Santa Claus or Jesus. A creature for sure, even if its tail indicates biological gender.

KIRBY - This is technically a Guy but in practice this is a creature. also I have one less Guy than Girl so I could put him there, but I chose not to.

YOSHI/BIRDO - Put a trans woman in Smash. She's just a Yoshi reskin and that's fine.

MARTH/LUCINA - The other Fire Emblem rep. Why does Awakening get like three characters? may have to make Marth a bit less floaty to make this work but they really should consolidate these two.

POKEMON TRAINER (Charizard, Ivysaur, Squirtle) - good on nintendo for making it possible to play pokemon trainer as a guy or girl.

POKEMON TRAINER 2 (Gengar, Gardevoir, Lucario) - We have so many pokemon and here's three more. swap out one of your choice for Jigglypuff or Mewtwo or Mimikyu or Greninja or whatever, as long as your substitution isn't from Kanto. This pokemon trainer is a bit more of a tryhard, and wears darker clothing. also their pokemon are category balanced: one is a guy, one is a girl, and one is a creature.

INKLING - Kind of a creature and definitely not of either cardinal gender. these kids squids are nonbinary. A good addition to smash; may they goop and bloop for many games to come.

Wii FIT TRAINER - Mix in Wii Sports and Ring Fit and whatever else.

ANIMAL CROSSING VILLAGER/MINECRAFT STEVE AND ALEX/PACMAN AND MS PACMAN - CHARACTERS OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER

NOAH AND MIO XENOBLADE (XENOBLADE 3) - Like Pyra and Mythra but less gross. Mio has faster short range chakram attacks and mobility; Noah has slower harder-hitting moves.

THE ASSASSIN (Assassin's Creed) - Snake represents Solid, Naked, and Venom; why can't The Assassin be Altair, Ezio, and whoever else?

Barely missed the cut: Duck Hunt, Toad/Toadette.

if you got mad at me about removing your favorite character reply and I'll tell you why I took them out. probably because I didn't care about them.

[the-giant-made-of-stone]

you as well have to do all the numbers, todd coward ass binch

First of all, I’m no todd you muppet.1. First game you played obsessively?Modern Warfare 3. Get all the things, do all the challenges, get the good guns, every now and then remember to actually try to do well.2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.I’ve never really written or drawn much but I think aesthetically speaking Star Fox 64 got me down the path of Sci-FI and star ships and such. I never actually owned it which just furthered my intrigue whenever I could get my hands on it.3. Who did you play with as a kid?I didn’t play with anyone really. I’d occasionally play against my brother but he would only ever want to play Sport Game 2kYear.

4. Who do you play with now?@thisisbud Tanner who deleted his tumblr @delicontessa @charizardon5. Ever use cheat codes?Usually only the funny ones. Or costumes. And unlimited webbing in Spider-man the game cause it made it actually playable.6. Ever buy strategy guides?I distinctly remember having two strategy guides. One was the official Donkey Kong 64 strategy guide, and the other was this strange off brand Mario 64 strategy guide that had, like, how-to draw-anime-characters looking dudes telling you tips.7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Bioshock and Bioshock 2 thanks to the purchase of the full remaster collection.8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?The Metroid Prime Trilogy Collector’s Edition for Wii. Bought it on a whim when it came out and never looked back.9. Most regrettable purchase?Either Mirror’s Edge Catalyst or Star Wars Battlefront. I wanted both of them to be so good and they just absolutely did not execute. At least I got Mirror’s Edge Catalyst once it got cheaper though.10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?The Smash 4 Wii U/Pokemon Alpha Omega midnight release. Just a bunch of people standing in the cold playing other Pokemon games. I was there exclusively for Smash though.11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?I probably owe it to Smash for having my best friends.12. Ever get picked on for liking games?In general? Not recently. Occasional crap from a family member. As for specific games I don’t really have any guilty pleasures besides Brink but I absolutely stand by it.13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Any Final Fantasy game, Pokemans Red Blue Yellow, basically anything that only went to a Sony system like Spyro or Crash or Uncharted.14. Favorite game music?Splatoon. All day every day. If I have to be specific Splatoon 2 has passed it’s predecessor.15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something Metroid related. Like the screw attack emblem.16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Smash Bros every time. Fun skill game that can be made lighthearted with a few item switches.17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Not for more than a few hours. Yes in Smash.18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?I would date @delicontessa19. Favorite handheld console?You can just say favorite portable Nintendo console. DS. I have no nostalgia for the Game Boy (and Switch doesn’t count)20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Mario 64. I don’t know any glitches or anything but I can 100% that with relative ease.21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?I didn’t get Tetris at all cause nobody told me you were supposed to clear lines by filling them. Now that I have that information I like to indulge in some Tetris every now and then.22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?A frankly ridiculous amount.23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?Modern Warfare 3. I really. REALLY. like clearing challenges.24. First Pokemon game?Diamond. I am like little baby. 25. Were you ever an arcade game player?Physically am not old enough to have been to arcades that aren’t located in a pizza based restaurant26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?That’s pretty much what Smash was for my friends when it came out. A lot of these are Smash based.27. Game that makes you rage?League of Legends. Other than that I tend to avoid anything I know makes me mad.28. Ever play in a tournament?Smash Doubles for a club in college. Think we won? We didn’t go back.29. What is your gaming set up?A TV, four consoles, one HDMI port, and a Macbook that has served it’s purpose in getting me through school.30. How many consoles do you own?5 counting a 3DS I probably should use more. 6 counting a Wii that was made obsolete due to the power of backwards compatibility.31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?Can’t speak on Virtual Boy but 3DS only happens after like several hours.32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?I absolutely did. Who hasn’t? Movie tie-ins are pretty much always bad. Show tie-ins are usually the same way. The comic games tend to be fun though. Like Ultimate Spider-man or the Arkham series.33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?I had some of the Namco plug n plays that did like Galaga and Pac-Man and Pole Position. They were pretty solid.34. Do either of your parents play video games?My dad used to play our NES and sports games with my brother. My ma recently picked up a Disney themed candy crush clone for her phone.35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?Nope. As for favorite game shop, if you can call it being the only game store for miles being my favorite, GameStop36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?Sweat, a lot. Palms sweaty when stressed. Definitely no blood. I have cried when I was younger but that’s cause I would get kicked off the games I was playing via force from my brother.Oh. And bile. I used to get headaches if I played games too much. These would make me vomit.I would get headaches a lot.37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?I have not. I have seen the footage. This is fair.38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?I don’t really have game shame so here’s a hot take: Nintendo Land is one of the most criminally underrated party games ever and should get a sequel.39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Dying is a weird kickstarter donation tier. That said, Jet Set Radio Future. I need it. And Sega knows it exists cause it’s in that damn racing game so WHERES THE GAME SEGA?40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?HTC Vive looks lit. So much so it makes everything else look inferior. That said I also think augmented reality headsets are crazy cool.41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sony as a whole due to shored up bitterness that I’m trying to tone down. Also sport games besides WWE.42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?Probably either Mario 64 or Donkey Kong 64. Both were the first ones that really game me clear cut objectives in a game that I paid attention to.43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Most of the time I’m playing games I should be doing something else. Especially sleeping.44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Tron. Good game. Fun game. A E S T H E T I C.45. How are you at Mario Kart?I can usually podium if I try. 46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?I used to like Animal Crossing more but it’s such a hassle to move from entire real life to entire fake life these days.47. Do you like competitive games?I like competitive games with friends and the occasional shooter.48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?Usually a decent chunk of time. The simpler the customizer, the more time I’ll spend making adjustments as well. Back when I played Halo if I saw anyone using the same armor or same color scheme I had to immediately change.49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?Nah I like to mix it up. I constantly rotate on wanting to be an immovable object of strength, a stealthy sneaky boy, or some ridiculous meme. Fallout 3′s Rock-It Launcher is the best weapon in the game and I’ll argue about this.50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Jet Set Radio Future sequel. It needs it. It deserves it. In glorious 4k cartoon rendering.51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?Yes. Enough that it isn’t worth mentioning all of them.52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Guitar Hero World Tour. No regrets. Quality game with a banging soundtrack. That said I always had to be on drums at parties and stuff cause everyone else sucked at them.53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most of the time it sucks. Seems kind of shitty that you can tell me the contents of the season pass several months before the game releases. Maybe just add that content in? Hmmmmm? Octo Expansion for Splatoon 2 is a treasure though.54. Do you give in to Steam sales?I have a Mac so most Steam games won’t run for me. That said I expect to fall victim to them soon.55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?I literally never played the Sims before. So no.56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Did not play Roller Coaster Tycoon. Maybe I should add these to the “never played but everyone else has” list.57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Any game I like that has a mildly realistic 100% is one that I will 100%. I’ll even do it for games I don’t like that much.58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?League of Legends, Overwatch, Smash Bros. Ultimate. If I can only play them for the rest of my life, I want to make sure that they’ll at least keep getting updated and let the servers keep running.59. Do you play any cell phone games?I am not a fan. I don’t like the way the kill my battery and most of them seem pretty shallow.60. Do you know the Konami Code?Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start Slide to the Left Slide to the Right Right Foot Lets Stomp Left Foot Lets Stomp FREEEEEEZE.EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to do trade-ins but I realized that months later I would want to play them again. So now I keep them forever.62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Nope. I got several games for every console.63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? I don’t think Comic Con counts but Immah count Comic Con.64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?I have not. I’m not too picky graphically.65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?Nope and nope.

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?My grandma did. I did play it a lot.67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I mean they’re pretty much all happy.68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?I’ve saved up a bunch of tickets and got something so shitty I can’t remember what it was.69. In your opinion, best game ever made? Hey how about fuck this question. I’d probably have to say Breath of the Wild. In terms of games, it was absolute top quality, excellent writing, and a very unique experience.70. Very first game you ever beat? I actually don’t know. It very likely was on the Xbox though. It’s possible it’s The Godfather but that might just be the one I remember clearing most earliest.