#maybe I could pick like 2-3 this year once the list is up and do it tho as some small OC-related oneshots | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbyquokka · 12 days

Text

blow me instead?

– “Why should I blow out the candles, when you can just blow me instead?” prompt

pairing | lee felix x gender-neutral reader

genre | smut – 18+ is strongly advised!

cw | established relationship ; dom felix ; oral sex (blowjob) ; finger sucking ; cum swallowing ; deep throating

words | 2.6k ~ ( 2,693 ) + 2 fake texts !

notes | a lil smth for felix's bday. jisung's will be posted at a later date when i've finished it :( don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

m.list — wips list — you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

you forgot. you’ve forgotten the most important day of the year and you are currently kicking yourself for it. it’s felix’s birthday, the one day of the year that you look forward to every single year – but for some unknown reason, this year you forgot.

maybe it’s because you’ve both been really busy that you haven’t given it a second thought. you’re always well prepared for things like this, but this year it slipped your mind.

you knew you forgotten something but you couldn't tell what. you had that nagging feeling in the back of your mind but you pushed it to the side. “i’ll figure it out later” you always told yourself only to forget – once again.

it wasn't until the day before, did you looked at your calendar and see ‘15th sept’ circled and decorated in hearts, labelled ‘felix’s bday!!’ did you panic. that nagging feeling quickly turned into a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. worry and panic washing over you and coating your skin in a cold sweat.

it was way into the night to go to the store to pick something up. everything was closed. you thought about making him something but realised that you don't have the materials to do so. so a quick search on the web was your last resort. you hoped you could find something that would do next day delivery but alas, after several hours of searching and drawing up blanks, did you accept your fate.

you woke up the day of his birthday, feeling guilty and it's eating you alive. you don't think you'd be able to face to him without bursting into tears.

“i should at least wish him a happy birthday.” you mumble. you take your phone from the night stand and open up felix's contact. your thumb hovers over the green circle.

you hesitate. lips pursed together. you overthink. you can hear his sullen tone of voice. you can see his facial expressions twisted into sadness. your heart aches and feels tight, like someone is gripping onto it.

“fuck. i can't.” you throw your phone onto the bed beside you, watching it bounce from impact before rubbing your face with your hands and groaning. “maybe a shower will help me. i’ll call him then!”

you didn't call him. in fact, you spent the whole day avoiding him. you did pop to the store and buy a small box of cupcakes and some candles. you had this idea of surprising him by turning up at his place with a fancy birthday cake, thinking it's better than nothing, but when the store only had cupcakes to offer, that idea was quick to fizzle out.

the cakes are now sitting on the counter, untouched and unopened. you're in your lounge wear on the sofa, TV on but you're not tuned into whatever show it's playing. instead, you're on your social media, looking at what felix has been up to the whole day.

pictures of felix with chan, jisung and hyunjin. birthday wishes from friends and family flood his profiles. you're glad he's had a good day but that guilt just won't go away.

you've shamelessly avoided him the whole day because you couldn't face him. it's cowardly of you and you know it, but in a way, you just shut off.

you rush to your feet. your sock covered soles slapping against the floor as you rush to the door. you open it and come face to face with a not so pleased looking felix.

'“i see you're still alive.” you swallow. he sounds irritated. he's angry at you and you don't blame him.

“felix, i–”

“are you going to let me in or are we just going to stand out in the hallway?” he cuts you off. you look down at your feet and shuffle to the side, opening the door wider for him.

he walks in, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat as you close the door behind him. he notices the unopened cupcakes and pack of birthday candles by the side of them.

“so?” he starts as he looks at you. your chin is tucked into your chest, fingers fiddling with one another. you feel like a child about to be told off by a parent.

“i'm so sorry, felix.” you start, keeping your eyes glued to your feet. you don't want to make eye contact with him because the guilt of forgetting is eating you alive. it's making you feel incredibly nauseous.

“for?” his arms crossed against his chest as he looks down at you, brow raised. his authoritative and dominant aura seeps out from his pores and clouds you, suffocating you in the process.

“... i–uh…” you start, words lodged in your throat. felix lets out a small, irritated sigh. “I forgot about your birthday.”

your voice is small and cracks. you furiously blink back the tears that are threatening to spill from your lower lash line.

“you forgot?” you nod slowly. “is that why you've been avoiding me?” you nod again. “why?”

“because i thought you'd be angry at me… like right now.” felix runs his fingers through his hair slowly.

“i’m not angry that you forgot. it happens. i’m angry because you avoided me on my birthday.”

“i know.. i’m sorry.” you look up at him and chew your bottom lip. the cupcakes catch the corner of your eye. you rush to then, opening them and the candles before sticking one in the middle of the cake.

felix follows you and watches you with eager eyes. his gaze suddenly feels hot. he licks his lips as he admires your body, eyes flickering up and down.

he's undressing you with his eyes.

you turn around, holding the cupcake in your hand with the candle flame flickering. you present it in front of felix and smile.

“i got you cupcakes though. i know it's not much but i couldn't find anything on such short notice…” felix simply hums and looks at the cake, then you. “are you not going to blow it out?” you question after some seconds pass.

felix leans in close. his lips brush against the shell of your ear as his voice drops and becomes low and deep. his warm breath fans against your ear as he speaks.

“why should i blow out the candles when you can just blow me instead?”

goosebumps ripple along your skin. your heart suddenly starts racing. his breath feels ticklish against your ear, body temperature suddenly rising

“f-felix!” you squeak as he pulls back, finding amusement at your shocked facial expression.

“i assume you didn't get me a gift so i can consider a blowjob as one. and if you do a good job, maybe i’ll let you off the hook for avoiding me on my special day.”

“i–” you swallow a little, the heat from the candle is radiating onto your chin, adding to the increase of your own body temperature.

felix keeps his brow raised before trailing his hand down his torso to his groin where he squeezes and groans softly.

you can't take your eyes off him. you watch his hand squeeze and palm himself through his jeans. his veins bulging from his hands and arms.

he kicks his head back a little, lips parting and giving you a view of his outstretched neck. his adams apple bobbing with his swallows. soft moan and grunts leaving his parted lips.

“don't just stand there.” his deep voice brings you back down to reality. “blow me.”

you place the cake down on the counter (after you blow out the candle) before kneeling in front of felix. he looks down at you. his dominate aura making you feel small and vulnerable but excited.

you can feel the pit of your stomach tingle and bubble with excitement. warmth coating your groin. the tips of your fingers and toes feel electric from the surging feeling of excitement that's mixed in with hormones.

you reach up and slide your hands up and under his t-shirt. his warm skin hugs the tips of your fingers. the sturdiness of his abs flexing and tensing with his stomach moving in time with his breathing.

you feel his smooth skin, tracing his muscles with your fingers. the only thing that isn't smooth, however, is the small, yet noticeable happy trail that runs from his belly button and disappears below his jean waistband.

“mhm..” felix hums softly, your touch giving him goosebumps. you move your hands lower until they come into contact with the rough fabric of his denim jeans.

you look up at him, asking for permission with your eyes to which he gives with a nod of his head.

you unbutton and unzip his jeans slowly, revealing that he is wearing black designer boxer shorts. you notice how his bulge is slowly, but surely, getting bigger with each passing second as he anticipates and waits.

you pull his jeans down to his knees. you press the palm of your hand against his crotch, massaging him slowly. he huffs. his cock twitching against the palm of your hand.

you give him a few gentle squeezes. your touch is too gentle for his liking so he looks down again you with glossy eyes.

“harder.”

you oblige by wrapping your fingers around his clothed length and squeezing, hard. his hips buck slightly and a soft, deep moan falls from his lips.

you feel his warm hand pressing against your cheek as his fingers graze along your jawline before bumping against your bottom lip.

he slowly strokes your lip, chewing on his own.

“look at me.” you look up at him, making eye contact. two of his fingers nudge between your lips, gently pushing past them as you part them.

“good.” he whispers as his fingers caress your tongue. your brows furrow together, lips wrapping around the two digits as you suck. your saliva coats felix's fingers thoroughly whilst he pushes them further into your mouth until they're fully encapsulated in the warmth of your mouth.

the hand that around his clothed length has slowed down and is now loosely gripping him. your groin feels hot and excited, tingles in your stomach as felix explores the inside of your mouth with his two fingers before pulling them out slowly.

he gives a satisfying ‘hm’ before instructing you to continue with the nod of his head.

you whimper a little and reach up with both hands, grabbing the waistband of his boxer shorts. your fingertips brush against his hot skin, causing felix to shiver and huff in excitement.

you slowly pull down his underwear, revealing his happy train and v-lines slowly before his erect penis is revealed, bouncing and twitching at the sudden cold air hitting his hot shaft.

felix lets out a small breath of relief. the feeling of being restrained is no longer an issue. his hips buck slightly as you wrap your hand around the base of his shaft, stroking it slowly.

you watch the man above you slowly crumble. his penis twitching, pre-cum leaking from his slit. his shaft is hot against the palm of your hand, tip red and a few veins protruding along the sides.

your hand glides up and down his penis, rotating at the top. you use the pad of your thumb to gently rub his tip, smearing the pre-cum and making his tip glisten.

the sensitivity gets to felix. his hips rocking a little in your hand against his will, thigh muscles noticeable twitching. his head flops to the side slightly, half-lidded eyes looking down at you and watching your every move.

you lean in and lick the side of his shaft a few times before pressing your tongue against his tip and swiping it several times. his salty pre-cum coats your tastes buds, making you feel more excited.

you rub your thighs together as the heat in your groin is unbearable at this point. you're desperate for some sort of friction and attention but you're too into pleasuring felix. with the way felix is right now, you know he is going to be selfish and chase his own high.

your free hand cups and caresses his balls. felix hums softly as you roll and squeeze them gently in your hand whilst kitten licking his tip.

“c’mon, baby. you know i need more than that.”

you close your eyes as you wrap your lips around his tip. felix shudders and huffs a little, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. you gently suckle on his tip, swirling your tongue around it a few times before slowly lowering your head and pushing more of him into your mouth.

the corner of your lips feels stretched, mouth stuffed. you try to make your jaw slack but even that is a struggle with how thick and long felix is.

you struggle to put half of his length in, settling with a little under. you can feel his tip bumping the back of your throat and saliva is quick to accumulate in your mouth.

felix huffs and puffs, body shuddering and twitching. he reaches down and runs his fingers through your hair a few times.

you start to bob your head slowly. your hand stroking what your mouth struggles to reach. the head and hand move in synch with each other, providing equally, if not more, pleasure to felix.

he feels the pleasure rushing through his veins and burning. his toes curl against the floorboards and his grip on your hair tightening with each suck as a way to keep him stable and grounded.

“...fuck … baby, m-more..” he pants.

you oblige, increasing speed and intensity. felix's moans become more intense and breathy. his body and mind failing to comprehend the intense feeling of warmth and wetness from your mouth as well as the coolness of your palm.

“... oh fuck.. yes… so fucking good…”

this just encourages you even more. you remove your hand and place them both on his thighs for stability. you push your head further down his length until you can feel it down your throat.

you hold back your gag reflex, swallowing a few times to tighten your throat around him. felix lets out a string of incoherent moans and whispers.

your jaw hurts. your lips hurts. your knees hurt and you can't breath but listening to felix whimper and crumble makes it all worth.

you feel him twitch in your mouth. his hips thrusting involuntarily. he's a mess and he's close.

his balls are tightening and his body is coated in a thin layer of sweat. the sensitivity of his cock head is overbearing.

“don’t stop.. 'm close..” he struggles to say between his moaning. his strangled moans mix in with the sloppy, wet sounds of your mouth.

he lowers his head, chin tucked into chest as he whimpers. a string of “fuck” leaves his lips as he grips onto you. it doesnt take him long. his cock twitches in your mouth, hot fluid coating your tongue and throat.

felix whimpers and whines, huffing and puffing. his body twitches and jerks. you help him ride out his orgasm before slowly pulling away.

you look up at him, making eye contact as you swallow. felix shudders and strokes your swollen bottom lip, saliva collecting on the pad of his thumb.

“you did good, yn.” with felix's help, you rise to your feet. the numb feeling of pain on your knees becoming more noticeable now that your legs are outstretched.

“does this mean i’m forgiven?” you mumble. felix nods and strokes your hair gently.

“sorta.” you look at him slightly confused. “my birthday isn't over just yet, yn.”

“true… so, what do you want?”

felix takes you by the hand and drags you to the bedroom. he gently throws you onto the bed, stripping himself of his clothing as you lean on your forearms and watch.

“i want so much more.” he purrs as he crawls onto the bed, towering over you and kissing the shell of your ear.

“i’m a greedy man, yn. you should know that a blowjob is not nearly enough to satisfy me.”

#kwritersworldnet #wkcnet #straykidsland #skz smut #stray kids smut #lee felix #felix #lee felix smut #felix smut #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #felix x you #felix x reader #lee felix x you #lee felix x reader

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https-milo · 16 days

Note

asks you say?

hmmmmmmm

maybe smth domestic w/ bakugo?

he works so hard when he trains he deserves a break with appy slices and milkshakes <3

ari you have a beautiful brain

15 MINUTES?

katsuki bakugo x reader

Summary: All he does is train, train, train. But that's so boringgggg!!

m. list

1k words

pre-established relationship • Year 2-A(literally not mentioned at all, neither is the final war) • fluff • mayhaps OOC bakugo

"Katsukiiii," You groaned in complaint as you flopped dramatically on his bed. He sat at his desk, hunched over the newest assignment Mr. Aizawa gave us. He didn't verbally answer but tilted his head up slightly to let you know he was listening, however, his eyes were still glued to the paper in front of him.

"I'm bored," You huffed, staring at him as you turned to lay on your stomach and kicked your feet.

"Why is that my problem?" Katsuki asked. He tried his hardest to sound annoyed, but you could hear the amusement hidden in his words.

"Because you're my super awesome and really strong boyfriend!" You replied easily with a cheesy smile.

Bakugo scoffed and rolled his eyes. But he put the assignment away and pushed back against his desk to roll away in his chair. He turned to face you, "What do you want to do?"

You placed a thoughtful finger to your chin, "Hmmm, I don't know!"

Katsuki's eye twitched, "You don't know?"

You giggled, "Nope! I just wanna be around you."

He opened his mouth to reply but couldn't find the words. He ended up scoffing again and crossing his arms, "You're so stupid." He turned away, an idea hitting his head. "You just want to be around me?"

"Yep! But watching you do homework was too boring," You yawned to emphasize your point.

"Let's go train," He said, standing up with a cocky smirk on his face. Your eyes widened as you stood up.

"I am not training with you," You huffed. "The last time we did, we had to explain to the class you weren't an abuser."

He scoffed, "Maybe you shouldn't have such weak skin."

"Maybe you shouldn't LAUNCH ME INTO A TREE?" You countered and poked his forehead. Katsuki rolled his eyes and dragged you by your hand out of his dorm.

"Fine, if you don't want to train with me, you can watch me," Katsuki said, leaving no room for arguments. You let him drag you to ground beta and sat on the sides as he stretched.

"This isn't going to cure my boredom, y'know?" You shouted once he started exploding different obstacles. Despite being far from him, you could hear his scoff.

"Maybe if you joined me, you wouldn't be bored!" He shouted back, blowing a tree into pieces with one blow. Your sweat dropped.

"I'm still sore from my spar with Kirishima a few hours ago," You groaned. For 2 hours, you sat aimlessly on the ground, picking at the grass while he screamed obscenities and different death threats at the inanimate trees. It was pretty entertaining to watch. But when you noticed his heavy breath and the way his body started shaking, you immediately stood up and flung your arms around him.

Katsuki hated being weak, but you noticed his warning signs like they were your own. It came so naturally to see his every action. But, because he hated admitting weakness or tiredness, you always made excuses for him to stop overworking himself that revolved around you - especially in front of a group of people. You'd be dead if you said "Oh Katsuki! You look tired, let's take a break, kay?" in front of the class.

"Katsukiiii, I'm hungry!" You complained, shoving your face in his chest to feel his accelerated heartbeat. He relaxed involuntarily at your touch, he hadn't even noticed he was getting tired. That was the biggest bonus when you watched him train, you made sure he didn't overexert himself. He took a few big breaths and you smiled slightly, looking up at him. He rolled his eyes and patted your back. "You know what sounds good?"

"What?" He asked as he chugged his water bottle. You didn't answer and just watched as he drank, literal hearts in your eyes as his Adam's apple bobbed and water dripped down his chin. He noticed your staring and flung water at you.

You shrieked, "Hey! Can't I admire my boyfriend?!"

"Not when I'm asking you a question," He replied as he rolled his eyes. "What do you want to eat?"

"Let's get some fruit! I want apple slices!" You answered.

Katsuki quirked a brow, "Apple slices? Are you five?"

You lightly hit his arm and huffed, "No! Is it a crime to enjoy the little things in life, such as apple slices?"

Katsuki bit back his chuckle and just dragged you by your hand again out of the forest. You laced his fingers with yours and smiled when he didn't retract his hand - not that you expected he would. It was just a good feeling to be loved.

"You're so stupid," He said suddenly. You looked up from your hands and noticed he was staring at you with the faintest shade of red across his cheeks. No one else would've noticed, but you were basically a magician when it came to what Katsuki Bakugo was feeling.

A cheesy smile appeared on your face, "I love you too, Kats."

Once again, he was stunned to silence and continued dragging you to the dormitory kitchen. You giggled at his flustered state. You didn't take any offense to him not saying "I love you", you were well aware of how emotionally stunted he was. He grumbled incoherently as he grabbed a couple of apples and started to cut them aggressively.

"You don't have to do that!" You scolded. You rushed over and took the knife from his hand. The whole reason you asked for apples was to get him to take a break! The audacity of this man! "I can cut my own apples!"

"Shut up, no you can't!" Katsuki replied, taking back the knife and blocking the cutting board.

You blinked at him for a second before laughing, "I can! I'm not actually five!"

Katsuki grumbled something under his breath before slamming a plate of apple slices in front of you. "Here. Eat." You nodded and grabbed the plate before you dragged him to the couches.

"Thanks," Katsuki quietly said, his arms were crossed and he sat on the end of the couch instead of right by you.

Swallowing your first slice you tilt your head at him, "What?"

He refused to look at you but sighed, "Thank you for stopping me."

You blinked before widely smiling. You moved closer to him, your shoulders were touching. The plate of apples sat in the middle of his right thigh and your left. You grabbed a piece and fed it to him, "Anytime."

Thank you so much for reading <3

"this wouldn't happen" I DO NOT CAREEEE 🔥🔥🔥🔥

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twstfanblog · 3 months

Text

*~Period Drama~* Wednesday

A/N: Sorry this took me so fucking long. There is no real excuse, I kept getting sick and then with the intense move we had to do a lot was happening in the few months. WordCount: 7.1K Warnings: She/They OC Pronouns

~Taglist @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter @obsessionswithfandoms @ady-hilborn @lucid-stories @girl-nahh-two @itz-hydrodeptus-foxy7 @chyluna @riddlesimps @death-the-jo @a-twistedheartslonging @qixlin @chaosistheonlyway @welcome-to-my-horde @abell2029cluster @kirans-wonderland @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @the-ace-reader @iamsoconfusedallofthetime @chroniccorvus @marvelous-maxi @prolonged-eyecontact @lozplayer @jabberwocky-warrior @thateldribitch @bun-lapin @mel1rose @ladyraeka @ladyzsgolla @kimdourden @noncreativepage-blog @girl-nahh-two @shironakuronatasa @colombia-chan @roseapov @anunholyabomination Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Heartslabyul), Part 4 (Savanaclaw), Part 4.5 (Diasomnia pt1), Part 5 (Diasomnia pt2), Part 6 (Here)

The Diasomnia crew left before Yuu even finished their breakfast on Wednesday. Crewel was not happy seeing Malleus clinging to them when he came to deliver their dinner last night, but the potions teacher didn't say anything past a scoff and an eye roll. Like the past few days the bicolored man had scolded them for their life choices, then shoved a pattern book at them and asked for their preferences.

Morning came, an Octavinelle student showed up with his arms shaking full of food for Yuu and the four Diasomnia students. Breakfast was a calm affair, only for Malleus to stand once he finished his food. He pressed a kiss to Yuu's forehead and gave a small blessing, wishing them a pleasant rest of their day before moving to leave the room.

Lilia called out to him, raising an eyebrow, “Where are you off to? We still have a good hour before we need to go back to Diasomnia to prepare for classes. I'd think you'd want to continue your duty as the royal heating pad…” he chuckled lightly, ignoring Sebek's angered snort.

“I'm aware and I had planned on it. But, I was going to make a stop in Octavinelle to speak with Azul while there was still time.”

…

Yuu fully turned around in their seat, raising an eyebrow at the smiling fae, “About what?”

Malleus only tilted his head in a conscious effort to appear cuter, “You are aware that I adore you, correct Yuu?”

“Malleus, that's my fucking- Don't- don't fucking bully Azul into agreeing with you.”

“I would never. I simply wish to speak to him civilly until we come to an agreement on things…”

Lilia looks up from his meal, already seeing what the younger fae was planning, “Malleus…”

“In fact, I'll bring Jamil with me. He should be a part of this conversation too.”

“Malleus-”

The horned fae had then disappeared in a flurry of green light. Lilia was quick to order Sebek and Silver to search the two dorms that Malleus was headed for while he started his search in Diasomnia; Malleus could be in either dorm. Each of them giving Yuu a rushed farewell before running out of Ramshackle, hopeful they'd find Malleus before he started his ‘conversation’ with the two sophomores.

Even Grim had left a few hours later, playfully stating one of them had to pick up the slack since Yuu wasn't allowed to attend class. Now that they were alone again, Yuu could physically feel their mood dropping. There were options, as there always were. Several friends that they could text throughout the day to keep their mind off of things. Cater, of course, but he was a 3rd year and Yuu could never really tell how serious he was about his schoolwork. Ace and Deuce were a choice, but Crewel might actually give them concussions if he caught them texting during homeroom. (They were filed under maybe, they can suffer in Ramshackle together if the Adeuce duo got concussed). They briefly thought of adding Lilia to that list then decided against it, along with Azul, Jamil, Silver and Sebek; they'd no doubt have their hands full of talking Malleus down.

Idia was most likely in his room dual-screening his classes and whatever RPG-mmo or anime he had started recently. Maybe he could answer them on why Ortho had been radio silent since they saw him on Saturday…

But, in the end, laziness won and Yuu simply returned to the nest Malleus had so lovingly crafted for them. It was warm and cozy, but definitely too big for just themselves; left too much space for their thoughts, mental conversations that told them of the multiple things they needed to do yet physically seemed too daunting at the moment. There were dishes to do that were never finished from Saturday, they definitely needed a shower, or at least to wash their face properly. Sighing, they just curled up in their too-big nest and closed their eyes. A nap fixes everything after all.

Three sharp knocks wake them up. Blinking in mild confusion before another three sharp knocks echo in the downstairs rooms. Yuu grabs their phone from outside the nest and looks at the time, only a few minutes past noon. Crewel must be bringing them lunch. But then they remembered Crewel had a horrible habit of thinking he was too good to knock on doors, simply opening and slamming them so hard he had no doubt gotten a door knob stuck in drywall before.

So who the hell-

The door opens, the sound of heels clicking against the hardwood floors flanked by more muted footsteps after the door was shut again. Yuu looked up from their phone to see Vil walk into the entryway of the lounge, hands filled with a cloth-wrapped package and a shiny hydro flask complete with a teal straw. From the side of the archway, Yuu could see Epel and Rook poking their heads in with expressions of wariness and glee respectfully.

“Oh, so you are awake. I knocked and you deliberately ignored me.” The actor rolled his eyes, walking further into the room and placing the package and hydro flask at the edge of the nest as faux offerings, “I took the liberty to make you lunch to reflect your body's needs. I expect you to eat it all.”

Yuu looked at the packaged food, no doubt filled with Vil's horrible idea of a ‘balanced’ meal; AKA, unseasoned. They blink, looking up to the junior, “I just woke up.”

Vil's expression grows more exasperated, the corner of his lip curling over his almost unnoticeable fangs in a mild sneer, “It's past noon…”

“Wow, Vil. You're so good at telling time. That's an amazing skill you got there…” Yuu's tone was flat, eyes slowly blinking as they kept focus on Vil's displeased face, “Did you train to read clocks or like-”

“Alright, that's enough out of you-”

“Mon vieille amor! It's been so long since I've seen your visage.” Rook rushed in, kneeling in front of Yuu's prone form before they could actually gode Vil into a scuffle, “I've been in a state of heartbreak since Crewel placed the visitor ban on your home. Though my woes eased and soul sung when I noticed you were still accepting guests regardless! Is company an aid or a sacrifice during your plight?”

Yuu looks to Rook, making sure the Florian could see them blinking one eye at a time; a common way Yuu could silently tell Rook to ‘Shut up’, “...Could be better…could be better…”

Vil's brows creased, his annoyed expression moving to confusion, “That…is not answering the question…”

“What are you, a fucking lawyer?” Yuu rubs their eyes, “I just woke up, give me a minute.”

“Honestly-”

“Isit true yur bleeding out yur butt?” Epel called out from the entryway, ducking back when Vil quickly snapped to glare over his shoulder at the first-year.

“Epel!”

“A-ah wanna know!”

Yuu finally propped themselves up, leaning weight on their elbows as they looked at Epel in confusion, “Why the fuck would I be bleeding out my ass!?”

“That's what Deuce said!”

“Why is Deuce saying I'm bleeding out my ass!?”

Epel shrugs, his face just as bewildered as Yuu's, “Ah don' know!? He said Riddle said sum shit about it-”

“Epel.”

The first-year shut his mouth, looking away from Vil's no doubt glacial glare and tapping his pointer fingers together before he clears his throat. Epel spoke carefully, his accent being lost in his conscious effort to not swear, “Um…Deuce read some of Riddle's notes? I don't think he read them right, but then again I don't really…know where you're bleeding from…”

Yuu scoffs, “It's not my ass, I'll tell you that much…”

Rook perks up, eyes wide as his hands cover his mouth in a show of surprise, “Mon Dieu! I had hoped I misheard Monsieur Crewel. Are you truly bleeding from such an area, mon vieille amor…?”

“Ye…”

Vil gave them a concerned glance, opening his mouth only to whip around to glare at Epel's softly muttered ‘gross’. Once he was properly scolded into silence, Vil looked back to Yuu, “Are you feeling alright? I heard from Crewel that he wasn't going to give you any more pain potions. Which is valid, so many potions in such a short amount of time isn't healthy for the body. But that does leave you without proper pain relief…”

“Lowkey, it’s so fucking weird you and Crewel hang out as like puh-seudo equals. Like, just admit you're both part of a fucked up clone project to destroy teenage boys through fashion and aggressively sharp eyeliner.”

Vil's look of concern quickly fell, glaring down his nose at the equally stone-faced first-year, “Oh, are we fighting? Is that what you decided is going to happen? I come to you civilly, with food and concern, and you decide we're going to have a petty argument as my thanks. Understandable. You are a child.”

“How's it feel to fight a child and lose? Because you are, you're losing.”

“It feels like listening to you prattle on is clogging my pores…”

“You know what pores are?” Yuu gasps, mockingly covering their mouth as they whisper to Rook, “Embarrassing.”

“What does that MEAN-”

Epel and Rook share a look, letting the two continue with their back-and-forth ‘bickering’. To the outside view, the two seemed to actually be arguing. But Epel knew Yuu and Rook knew Vil. While Yuu was a bully at their core, the way they poked at Vil was much softer than the people they actually verbally bit at. And Rook knew his queen was an icon of polite rebuffs, though that wasn't always his thoughts. Vil felt the need to chew people out every now and again as any stressed individual would. Yuu simply was a worthy opponent of wordplay.

The two film research members did enjoy each other's company though, they wouldn't keep spending time with each other if they didn't. If they found joy in verbally slapping at each other and critiquing bad movies until they were a fine paste, who were they to judge them…?

Truly, ‘Sibling Core’ as Cater once joked (only to be promptly cursed by Vil to trip every third step until he took back his statement).

“You're like an egg…that was cracked in the carton and just got a sticky film all over the other eggs so you don’t wanna touch them.”

Vil tilted his head back to let out a single laugh before glaring back down at Yuu, “Oh, I'm a residue now? You're one to talk, you greasy onion. You look a mess, your hair is even more a bird's nest than normal, and I can see the state of your skin from here. You clearly haven't been using the skincare routine I gifted you…”

…

Yuu opened and then closed their mouth, a repeated action that made Vil raise a single eyebrow. The star already had another comeback locked and loaded, but he could be patient for Yuu to think up a response. He had to be fair after all…

But the comeback never came. Instead, Yuu started to blink rapidly, a look of frustration blooming on their face before they simply bowed their head and let out a single sniffle. Then one sniffle became a choked back sob, as they fully curled into themselves to hide from view.

Rook straightened himself beside the nest, already reaching out to comfort Yuu, “Oh, mon-” only to be shoved out of the way as Vil dropped to his knees to grab at Yuu's shoulders.

“Are you crying!? No, I'm being completely serious, are you actually crying?” When the response was another wet-sounding sniffle and whimper, he climbed into the nest, a look of panicked determination slowly overtaking his face, “Don't-don't cry. Come on, let me- is it the cramps? Here, this yoga pose should help ease the pain. Let me get you into it.”

Vil worked quickly but gently, managing to put Yuu into a sitting position with their knees bent and the soles of their feet pressed together. He crawled deeper into the nest, placing himself behind them and wrapped his arms around their middle when the crying first-year tried to fold back in on themselves.

“No! You're going to hurt yourself, you are not that flexible. Is this helping? I have other poses that should help. Please, stop crying. We can watch one of your horrifically scarring children's movies if you stop.”

Epel had retreated back to the entryway, gripping onto the wood and looking at Yuu in confused terror, “What's happening!? What did you do!?”

Vil glared at Epel, shaking his head, “Don't you blame this on me- Yuu, don't tell Crewel I made you cry.”

Yuu sniffled, trying to lay limply in Vil's hold but the 3rd year kept them upright, “I'm sorry, I don't wanna cry anymore…”

Rook had pulled himself from the floor, gently cupping Yuu's cheek as he gazed at them in worry, “Mon petite! What has caused such sorrow? Truly mon roi’s words weren't so harsh…?”

“I just…I feel bad. I haven't really felt good and it makes it hard to do things. I gotta list of chores I haven't done because I've been on the edge of hysteria for the past few days. I haven't showered since Saturday because I just wanna sleep and standing is annoying. Vil, I was gonna call you Monday, I promise. but then I went to school and everything was annoying and then I threw up and I forgot-”

Yuu's ramble slowly turned into more tearful crying. Vil was only mildly elated, as his words seemed to simply be a trigger instead of the main cause. The issue now was that they didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. And the last thing Vil wanted was for the first year to manage to cry themselves actually sick during his visit. Crewel would never let him hear the end of it…

Vil reached out of the nest, grabbing the thermos and trying to place the straw into Yuu's wailing mouth, “Here, have some smoothie. Get a healthy liquid in your body-”

“I don't want your fucking green juice, Vil!”

Everyone subtly leaned away from Yuu, eyes wide at the raw anger they suddenly displayed. Vil still pressed the cool flask to the first-year's face. Both to pointedly demand they drink the smoothie and to help cool the flushing of Yuu's cheeks.

“It's not my blend. I used nothing but fruit in this! Strawberries, peaches, and mangos!” And a handful of spinach because lord forbid this child eat a vegetable; but he wasn't going to tell them that, “It's a treat, since you've been so ill…”

Yuu cast a disbelieving look to Vil, face pinched together before they finally took a sip from the flask's straw. At the promised taste of nothing but fruit, they took another gulp. Taking the flask from Vil they weakly say, “It's good…thank you…”

Just as the Pomefiore trio thought they were in the clear, Yuu took in a shuddering breath that quickly turned back to a tearful muttering, “Sorry. I'm serious, I'm trying to stop crying.”

Epel called out from the archway, finally stepping fully into the room now that Vil was half grappling with Yuu, “What ya even cryin’ about? Ah know Vil's smoothies suck but they aint always that bad…”

Vil muttered briefly for Epel to stop blaming him for Yuu's crying fits. Yuu had taken another pause to gulp at the chilly fruit smoothie, taking the offered wrap Rook had handed them from the now-opened lunchbox.

“Dude, I've been a fucking train wreck for the past half week. This shit is normally over by now and I'm still dropping clots.”

Rook and Vil share a mildly horrified look at the mention of clots. Why are clots involved in this? Are clots supposed to be involved?

“I'm reaching new mental and emotional ATLs at, like, random intervals, I've got a sink full of dishes that I don't wanna do and I don't wanna ask anyone to do. I gotta shower, that's just a fucking fact; I don't wanna shower because while I'll feel great afterwards, that's a whole mental race just to get into the shower for some reason. And I'm also upset because I've gotta do so much laundry once this shit is over because I've been bleeding all over the nice things you guys have given me for the past four days-”

“Okay, okay.” Vil quickly shushed Yuu, guiding the chicken wrap from the lunch into their mouth in an effort to stop their hysterical spiral. Once Yuu was chewing the food, he snapped his fingers and called his other dorm members to attention, “Epel, go to Crewel and get the surprise. Whatever he has ready, simply package it and bring it back here. Rook, go to Pomefiore and bring me my spa kit.”

Epel nodded, turning around and rushing out of the room to race back to the school with nothing said other than ‘I'm on it’. Rook smiles, kneeling on one knee and bowing with a hand over his heart.

“Which kit would you prefer, mon roi?”

“The big one.” Vil looked to the freshman in his arms, sighing softly before turning back to Rook, “And stop by Sam's to get them another treat…” He smiles at Yuu, tilting his head in a questioning manner, “Would you like a treat, dear little onion?”

“...” Yuu sniffled, “I want a chocolate bar…”

Vil nodded, petting Yuu's head, “Get them a dark chocolate bar-”

“I want a milk chocolate bar…”

“Dark chocolate is healthier, onion…”

Yuu sniffles, voice breaking at random intervals as they start to cry again, “I want a milk chocolate bar-”

“Fine. Oh my seven. Rook, get them a milk chocolate candy bar and my large spa kit from my room.”

“Oui!” With a chuckle and tip of his hat, Rook turned to exit the room, “Please no fighting while alone, you both fight dirty when no one is looking. Je reviens!” He waves as he disappears around the corner.

With Rook gone, Vil sighed. Mildly resigning himself to the act of cuddling his pseudo-sister until the others return. Gently carding his hand through their hair, he couldn't fight the grimace his face did at feeling its texture.

“Lord, your hair is greasy…”

Yuu looks at him, face almost pathetic with tears in their eyes, “Vil-”

“I'm going to fix it! It's fine! Shhhhh, eat your wrap. It was strangely hard to make food for you…”

Yuu takes another bite of the wrap, speaking around their full mouth, “I can see why. It actually tastes good, that must of been hard for you to do.”

Vil scoffs, petting Yuu's head as he glared off to the side and mumbled under his breath, “You are so lucky you're in pain…”

Epel was mildly surprised he managed to beat Rook back to Ramshackle. With an oblong box tucked under his arm he entered the dorm, stopping briefly in the entry hall as he heard music. Closing the door behind him, he walked further in; the sound of the upbeat music getting louder and accompanied by soft groans.

“Hello?” Epel peaked into the lounge, his confused face fading seeing Vil lead a very unwilling looking Yuu in exercise.

Vil's voice cut through the music, jacket off as he gracefully did knee lifts to the beat of the music, “ -One and two, and one and two, and- knees up, onion! No wonder you feel awful, you've been doing nothing but laze around for days straight.”

Yuu groans, but picks their knees up higher in the standing knee lifts Vil had bullied them into doing, “Fuck you! I've been in pain for the past few days! I'm allowed to be lazy!”

The third-year rolls his eyes, his only show of solidarity being he was exercising alongside Yuu, “Please. You've become so lazy in a matter of days that your own body is deteriorating; You could normally do this easily; I'm not letting you whine and pout your way out keeping yourself healthy.”

Yuu glared over to Vil, shaking their head slowly yet staying in pace with his knee lifts, “I swear to the Seven, I'm gonna find your fucking Eros Era white suede jacket you hide from me and I’m gonna fucking bleed all over it.”

Vil glared back with a matching intensity, “You stay away from my white clothing, you little-”

“Ah'm back!” Epel quickly yelled out, holding the box into the air, “Ah got the goods!”

“Oh perfect timing, the infant was getting on my nerves…” Vil was quick to stop the music, handing a panting Yuu the hydro flask before walking over to Epel. He clicked his tongue, seeing Crewel had taken the time to wrap the box before giving it to Epel, “How many did he finish?”

“Hm…” Epel looked down at the box; matte black wrapping paper and a bright teal ribbon tied into a bow. Thinking back he tried to remember just how many colorful pieces of cloth he saw Crewel throw into the box, “Ah think…around nine? Maybe ten? There were a lot of patterns…”

“Good enough…” Vil sighed, but took the box from Epel's hands, calling out to Yuu chugging from the hydro flask, “Yuu! Come here, we have a gift for you in this trying time.”

“If you give me more health shit, I will actually start swinging…”

“Just open the box.”

Yuu rolls their eyes at Vil's annoyed pout, snatching the box away from him and tearing the paper away. Once the box was bare, they opened it and looked inside in confusion, “What are these? Fabric samples?”

They reach into the box, pulling out one of the ‘samples’ only to see it had already been cut and stitched into the shape of boyshort panties. They almost put the underwear back into the box, a mix of annoyance and frustration at seeing the cute patterns. What use was underwear to them right now? They would just ruin it by bleeding through it…

Then they notice the black fabric seeming to take up the entire inner lining of the panties. Yuu raised an eyebrow, rubbing their thumb against the foreign feeling material, “What…is this?”

Vil smiled, watching as Yuu seemed to slowly realize what they were holding, “These took quite some doing; Crewel has been working on these articles since Saturday, I believe. He had to consult with Ms. Oster on what materials would respond best to the blood absorption potion, since gauze would certainly be unpleasant against such an area…”

Yuu's eyes seemed to widen, glittering as they looked through the box at the adorable patterns, “He made me period panties!? Holy shit, I love this!” They squealed, moving to rush off to put their new underwear on, “I'm gonna wear them right now!”

Before Yuu could rush past Epel, Vil gripped the back of their shirt and yanked them back, “Oh no, you're not. You're going to get into the shower and scrub up. Then we're going to wait until Rook is back with my spa kit and then you're going in the tub.”

“Does the mold in the air give you hyper bitch powers? Is that why you act like a total mom anytime you're in here?”

Epel mumbled under his breath, looking at the corners of the room in concern, “Wait, there's still mold…?”

Vil scoffed, snatching the box and underwear from Yuu's hands pointing to the stairs, “Just get in the shower before you start growing mold.”

Yuu mumbles in a high pitched tone, mocking Vil as they walked up the stairs.

Rook had luckily appeared only a few minutes after Yuu had exited the shower. Though firmly scrubbed down and ready for a long soak, Vil had spent the past five minutes critiquing Yuu's unwashed hair. The annoyed first-year stating Vil was the one who said he was going to ‘fix it’.

What Yuu wasn't expecting was the size of Vil's ‘big’ spa kit. They had assumed it would at best be a briefcase filled with a few high quality bottles of bubble bath and skin care. Instead Rook walked back into the lounge wheeling behind him what Yuu could only think was the biggest rolling suitcase they had ever seen in their life. It was dark indigo, gold trimmed and hard shelled; a small lock keeping it closed.

Rook sighed, pulling the suitcase to stand in front of him, “Mon roi, apologizes. I would have been back sooner but you had changed the passcode to access your more extensive kits…” He looks to Yuu, pulling a large candy bar from his breast pocket, “And your treat, mon petite!”

Yuu smiled, taking the candy from Rook and pocketing it in their fuzzy robe, “Oh, sick, thank you, Rook. Also, what the fuck is that?” They pointed to the hard plastic carrier, looking questioningly as Vil walked forward. They raise an eyebrow, watching Vil pull a key from a chain around his neck and unlock the suitcase, “Oh, damn; is this it? Is that the launch codes?”

“Shush. Now pick a fragrance; some of these oils do NOT mix nicely together…”

“Uh…floral?” Yuu watches as Vil rolls his eyes, and opens the suitcase.

The case had bottles upon bottles of various liquids strapped to the lid. In the bottom half, Vil folded out multi-shelved displays holding more secured glass and gold trimmed vials. The bottom of the suitcase holding a sealed container of white powder.

Both Epel and Yuu blinked in wonder as Vil seemed to build out an entire pantry’s worth of shelves. Rook stood behind them smiling. The other 3rd-year adored watching Vil work, the very fact this was only one of his kits never failed to amaze him.

“Honestly, the most basic…It's fine I can work with that…” Vil looks through the multiple shelves, grabbing vials from labeled sections. He snaps his fingers, conjuring an ornate bottle and filling it half way with the powder. Grabbing vials, he delicately pours small amounts into the bottle, “Jasmine…Vanilla…and…” he smiles, grabbing one more vial, “And Lavender!” Vil pours the final oil into the bottle, grabbing a few other vials and adding them in before capping the bottle.

With a flick of his wrist, magic courses through the glass and mixes the contents perfectly. Vil smiles as he presents the ombred soap to Yuu, “There we are. One floral scented bubble bath to promote muscle relaxation, moisturize, and just a bit of skin protection.”

Yuu oo’s and aa’s, laughing at Vil's glare seeing they were clearly taunting him.

“Just go get in the tub. You've eaten, exercised, and showered off the days of grime. Now you can simply relax and let the warm water fully heal you.”

Yuu was already half up the stairs, smiling at the swirling colored soap in hand, “Don't gotta tell me twice…”

Ramshackle was a big building. It was hard to see at times with how massive the other ‘official’ dorms were, but Ramshackle was an insanely big home for two people alone. A fact that was discovered during the VDC.

There were many a locked room in Ramshackle; a fact Crowley seemed to find no issue with and only produced random keys to open the doors for them when he wanted to.

But, luckily for Yuu, during the VDC Rook had ‘revealed’ his love of kicking down doors. So of course Yuu let him kick to his heart's desires. And surprisingly, one room had been a massive bathroom; a small pool-sized indoor onsen that sat in a raised stone platform, the area seemingly themed after a jungle grotto. Kalim had concluded it was potentially a group bath, noting that behind the brittle vines were changing rooms and there was a clogged drain in the center of the room. Vil had been elated to see it, and after a thorough cleaning the group had taken to after practice soaks in the warm waters.

But now, it was simply Yuu's favorite bathtub.

They sighed contently, the bottle of bubble bath already half gone. Flora scented color changing bubbles blanketing them. A small towel over their face, they had no plans to leave the tub for the next four days if the water stayed toasty.

They sighed, hearing a knock on the door, “Come in, I guess…”

Vil opened the door lightly asking if they were covered before entering. When Yuu consented he stepped into the room, his arms filled with a basket holding a number of bottles and more towels.

“Honestly, you would waste the water to fill this tub up, just for yourself.”

Removing the towel on their face, Yuu flipped Vil off but didn't move as the third-year knelt beside them, “Leave me alone. It's my tub anyway. I'll waste the water if I want.” They sunk lower into the tub, ignoring Vil gently tugging on their hair to bring them to the edge.

“Come here, I'm washing your hair.”

“I already washed it.”

Vil tugged harder, fully jerking Yuu's head around as he glared. Their hair was an offensive texture, mildly wet, yet still clearly greasy, “You did not. Now stop being a brat and rest your head against the edge.”

Yuu groaned loudly, letting Vil place one of the towels at their neck before tilting their head back. Vil poured water over their hair, thoroughly soaking it before applying the first of many the products he had brought up.

Vil sighed, working the shampoo into Yuu's hair and scalp, muttering under his breath, “I swear, I have no idea what this aliment is but you've managed to deteriorate in a matter of days. And you went to classes in this state? Your motives don't add up if you were trying to keep this all a secret.”

“Are you here to just nag me and have the option to drown me if I talk back?” Yuu had deadpanned, blinking lazily at the ceiling. They tilted their head back further to look at Vil when he sighed heavily.

“I was very…concerned. Well connected you are, you seem to forget you are a teenage girl who's been displaced in a completely new world with no actual support system past your schoolmates. There was no telling what had happened to you when I didn't hear back…” Vil poured more water into Yuu's hair, rinsing out the suds and applying a second lather. “I take my care for you very seriously.”

Yuu huffed, rolling their eyes but keeping still as Vil cleaned their hair, “Yeah, is that why you made me exercise?”

“Yes.” Vil scoffed, rinsing Yuu's hair again and looking over his assortment before picking up a new bottle, “Annoying as you may be, you are one of the freshmen I've chosen to take under my wing. And as such I will help you reach your full potential.”

“By force?”

“If it comes to it; we both know in an actual fight I would win…” Vil hummed working the product through Yuu's hair, “I know whatever is happening is painful for you and that is tragic on its own. But lazing around was doing you no good in the long run. If anything it was making things worse since you barely had the energy to move.”

Yuu rolls their eyes, “Well, yeah…this shit hurts. I don't wanna move or do anything…”

“But once you did, you felt more energized, didn’t you?” At Yuu's silence he smirked in triumph, “Call me mean all you like, but I expect you to treat yourself properly at all times. That means eating healthy, exercising, and pampering yourself as needed. Since you are in pain and quarantined, I will pamper you myself today.”

“...” Yuu tilts their head back again, smiling at Vil who smiles back, “Thanks…” Yuu moves to fully relax in the tub, color shifting bubbles acting as a faux blanket while Vil massages the product into their hair.

Only a few moments passed before Yuu's eyes blinked open. The products smelling familiar yet still foreign, “Wait, what stuff are you using?”

Vil didn't answer, contently working more product into Yuu's hair.

Managing a glance to the basket, their eyes caught a familiar bottle that made them groan and attempt to escape Vil's grasp, “GOD DAMN IT, VIL!”

“I will drown you, stop fighting me-DON'T YOU SPLASH ME!”

Yuu scowled, glaring at an all too pleased Vil as he sat in the nest beside them applying a green tinted face mask to his cheeks. Their once straight hair had been restored into its natural state of fluffy 4A curls, “You just can’t let shit fucking be.”

“The very fact you willingly heat damage your hair to keep it straight is a crime I should kill you for.” Vil gently cupped a handful of curls in his hand, smiling as he bounced them lightly, “Your natural hair is gorgeous, you should wear it like this more option.”

“I should shave your head.”

“I should-”

Epel spoke from his spot beside Yuu, hair pinned back as he wore his own face mask, “Can y’all not fight when Ah'm like two inches away from ya?”

Vil huffed, rolling his eyes but releasing Yuu's hair, “We're not fighting.”

“Y’all are two cherry pits away from actually swinging on each other…”

Yuu snorted, whispering loudly to Vil so that Epel could still hear, “He's traumatized because me and Sebek bumped into him when we had a disagreement at a sleepover once-”

Epel glared, punching at Yuu's thigh, “You two rolled onta me while I was asleep and fought on top of me until Jack pulled ya off!”

Yuu whined, forcibly trying to kick Epel away from them as the other first year started to punch at them repeatedly, “Vil! Epel hit me!”

Vil hummed, checking his nails and barely acknowledging the two squabbling next to him, “Epel don't hit Yuu. She's already leaking blood.”

Epel groaned and made a series of grossed out noises before trying to escape Yuu's range.

Yuu hummed and lifted their sleep shirt, looking at their new brightly patterned underwear, “Leaking isn't a problem anymore. These bad boys are iron clad; I don't even feel damp.”

“Put your shirt down.” Vil groaned, quickly pulling Yuu's shirt down to cover their underwear properly. Rolling his eyes as Yuu flashed their panties one more time before he stood, “I'm going to make myself a snack for the movie.”

“Rook is making us snacks for the movie.”

“No, Rook is making you both snacks. I'm making myself a snack that isn't going to be an unhealthy mess drowned in mayo and salt.”

The third-year walked away, waving over his shoulder, “Don't fight and please, Epel don't eat the mask.”

Epel gave a noncommittal noise, already swiping a finger across his face. Don't eat the mask; don't make a face mask from bananas and avocados…

Silence passes over the room, Yuu clicking through their laptop to make sure their movie of choice was fully loaded and prepped for viewing. Epel would glance over to his friend before looking away. Before long he finally huffed and angled his body to face them directly.

“So…yur bleeding out your butt-”

“Not my ass, but go on.”

Epel scoffed rolling over to his back to stare at the ceiling, “So yur bleeding…and that's…normal?”

“Ye.”

“...” Epel's face pinches, his mind connecting the information yet still refusing it, “That sounds awful.”

Yuu chuckled, moving to lay down beside on their stomach, “Yeah, it fucking sucks. I wanna like…curl up and cry but also fist fight the sun.”

“It sounds like a curse. Like a really fucked up ole fae curse that they'd do to a cheater or somethin’. Make'em just leak blood for days…”

“...” Yuu's smile widened, “Could you imagine?” At Epel's confused expression they continued, “If you could, like…learn to cast this as a curse, who would you cast it on?”

“...” Epel hummed, brows creasing before he snapped his fingers, “Crewel.”

“Oh my god? WHY!?”

Epel giggled, “Ah mean, if it'll be anythin’ like yurs, we'd get a week off from lessons because he'd rather be in a ditch somewhere.”

Yuu snorted, “Or, he'd keep coming to classes and take his blood rage out on us.”

“Damn…true…”He nudges Yuu with his knee, raising an eyebrow, “Who would you curse?”

“...I mean if we're being correct, I would have started to sync up with the vaginas I spend the most time with. So…that'd actually be you and Vil.”

“No.”

“Yes. Could you imagine? All three of us synced up and trying to stay alive?”

“Ah would actually take ma’self out. The very idea of blood leakin’ outta me for days is so fuckin’ distressin’. But pair that with you and Vil? Ah couldn't survive…”

Yuu snorts, rolling their eyes and turning back to the laptop, “Weak bitch.”

Epel swings his arm to punch against Yuu's thigh again, “If ya could pick though, who'd it be?”

“Oh, Leona.”

Epel had to set up as he gagged, his laugh choking him, “Why!?”

“He already acts like he's got PMS. I wanna see if he just, like…slips into a coma-stop punching me!”

They laughed and giggled, shoving and smacking each other as they chose more of their friends they would ‘curse’.

Rook had appeared midway through Epel and Yuu recreating a WWE smackdown match. His blunt bangs pulled from his face by a sparkly fuzzy scrunchie.

“Ah! Such grace, such brutality. A duality of kin by spirit than blood. Marvelous, 100 points!”

Yuu spoke calmly, keeping Epel in a full nelson while the other first-year swore under his breath and squirmed, “Oh, hey Rook, did you need something?”

“Oui, mon petite amor. I wished to show you a new skill to aid you in this trying time. I will need you to release Monsieur Pommette to do so…”

Sighing, Yuu released Epel from their grasp and let him breath, “Did you leave Vil in my kitchen? With my poor defenseless seasonings?”

Rook's only reply was to pat Yuu on the head and sit beside them, “May I touch your body mon petite?”

“Rook, I'm begging you to learn how to speak to people in, like…some semblance of the average human being.”

Rook smiles, holding his hands out in silent command to place their body in his grasp.

Yuu sighs, elbowing a grumbling Epel beside them, “Can you make sure Vil doesn't actually throw out my seasonings he deems ‘unnecessary'?”

Epel grumbles a bit more but stands to walk into the kitchen. Once the other first-year was gone, Yuu placed both of their hands into Rook's waiting ones, “Okay. What are you showing me?”

Humming, Rook looked over their hands, his thumbs gently pressing into their palms periodically, “Is Acupuncture a practice in your world?”

“Yeah; it's the Eastern practice where you use needles on pressure points. Never had it done though, the idea of needles in my face was freaky.”

“Tres bien! It's similar then. I have always wondered if your body carried the same pressure points as ours, though I wasn't sure we were close enough to test such a theory. Be it physically or relationship wise.”

Rook grabs one of Yuu's hands in both of his own; one to cradle Yuu's palm gently, and the other making firm small circles in the place between their thumb and pointer finger.”

“Yeah…40 year marriage or not, I would not trust you near me with a pack of needles…”

Rook chuckles, fingers not stopping as they massage the point, “Luckily for me, these methods do not require needles. Though I do hope you will let me try one day.”

“Fuck no. You and needles are not something I wanna be in a room with- Oh…oh…”

“Ah! Is it taking effect?”

Yuu touched their head, blinking in mild astonishment, “My headache isn't so bad anymore.”

“And this is one of the few points I shall teach you! It is called Large Intestine 6, it can alleviate headaches. Though do be careful, you can bruise yourself with these methods.”

Rook then spent the next few minutes showing Yuu the functions of various pressure points to ease their period symptoms. He even gleefully showed them other points where pressure would cause pain and momentary complete bodily paralysis.

Rook hummed as he gently thumbed the skin on the back of Yuu's neck, “For maximum effect I would recommend applying pressure via an elbow jab.”

“I can't wait to stun Vil's arm the next time he tries to pull my ear while scolding me.”

“Please, do not. He will know I taught you this and back hand both of us into next week.”

Vil spoke as he and Epel walked back into the room, each carrying loaded trays, “Taught them what?”

“How to properly hold their head in a sitting position, mon roi!” Rook’s hand moved gently, firmly grasping the base of Yuu's skull and puppeteering their head to a more correct posture, “There we go! Now she may sit with her spine straight.”

Vil hummed, setting the large tray of snacks in front of the nest and looking Yuu over with a critical eye, “...I suppose it will have to do for now. This is a ‘Relax Day’ after all…”

Epel handed Yuu and Rook tall glasses of fruit smoothie, sitting beside Yuu and looking over their laptop, “Is the movie ready?”

Yuu took a moment, simply enjoying the taste of strawberries, mangos, and the hinted kick of tart orange juice. With a few clicks, the TV came to life mirroring their laptop, “Yep! Epel the master remote should have a button for the lights.”

Soon, everyone was cozy in the nest, snacks close and each with a chilled beverage.

Vil raised an eyebrow, already judging the movie by the overly cartoony opening, “And this movie is for…children?”

“Ye…I think…it was an 80’s movie. So ‘For Kids’ normally just meant no titties or swear words.”

Epel’s face quickly soured, glaring at Yuu, “Ah swear ta the Seven, if this anything like that Oz movie-”

Yuu giggled, shushing Epel, “Making you guys watch 'Return to Oz*’ was for my own sick pleasure. This won't be like that I promise.”

Rook sighed, “I should hope not. Monsieur Pommette could not sleep for days…”

Waving them off, Yuu kept their eyes glued to the screen as the movie’s opening twist was revealed, “Don't worry. ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ is the perfect relax day movie.”

The Pomefiore boys all sat huddled around Yuu, eyes wide in terror as they watched the villain stalk closer and closer to the detective.

“When I killed ya brother! I talked! Just! Like! THIIIIIIIIIIIS!”

Vil whispered harshly to Yuu, mildly afraid to take his eyes off the screen, “This movie is for children?”

“Yeah. The 80’s were wild…”

*Lowkey I wanted to put The Wiz instead but I remembered that movie being delightful besides the single scene in the subway. Return to Oz, however, keeps getting purged from my memory every time I watch it for good reason.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #yuu oc #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #pomefiore

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kritischetheologie · 6 months

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Advice for a 26 year old? Apart from the normal.

oh jeez. oh gosh. I just turned 30 and my god if I could undo 90% of the decisions I made between 24 and 29... anyway here's some advice that I do think is generally applicable and isn't just me talking to my younger self. and also a little bit of me talking to my younger self.

At some point between 22 and 30, you will find that hangovers are instantly 3x worse than before. The only silver lining on this fact is that having to cut yourself off earlier in the night is cheaper. But mostly this is one of those aging things you just need to accept.

2. You need to find a form of physical activity that works with the body and the lifestyle you currently have. I don't care if you played [insert sport here] in college. If you're only able to play it once a week, you will injure yourself trying to perform at the same level you did previously. The people I know who have the worst relationships with their bodies are the ones who get stuck in the cycle of pushing themselves too hard, getting injured, having to take time off, lather rinse repeat. Find ways to move your body that make you feel like you inhabit it fully, that make you proud of what you can do now, that get your mind engaged, that expose you to the goofy experience of being bad at something new... let go of whatever came before and live in the now.

3. If your reproductive system came with ovaries, a uterus, etc: for the next decade of your life, everyone is going to have opinions on what you do with it, and these opinions are going to be self-contradictory. knowledge is power. learn about your hormonal cycle, so you can know what's going on in the body you inhabit. I highly recommend tracking your cycles-- there's a million apps that will do it, pick the one whose UI makes you want to throw up the least. This is important no matter what you want to do with your reproductive system. Learning to recognize the signs of where you are in your cycle, the effect of different hormones on your mood, etc. can help you predict and adjust for the way you fluctuate throughout the month. Tracking your cycles can also help you catch hormonal irregularities, issues like PCOS, etc. Find an ob-gyn you can be honest with about what you want to do with your body. get pap smears--I'm constantly amazed how many of my friends get regular STI testing but always forget about pap smears (cervical cancer is no joke).

4. second of all (this is a subset of #3, but tumblr doesn't let me do sub points): when it comes to the question of whether and how to reproduce, you have to decide what is important to you and be willing to defend it. maybe you know you want like six kids, you know you never want kids. maybe you're queer, and you aren't going to be doing it the old-fashioned way, and you know you really want to gestate a child, or really don't. maybe you feel strongly about passing on your genes, or about not. I would encourage you to think seriously and capaciously about reproductive options. by this I mean: don't just sit around waiting to someday wake up knowing. treat the question as an invitation to explore. think about all the ways that people build families. meet people who have fostered, who have adopted, who have had children alone by choice (or not by choice). look at the people around you, and the trade-offs they have made, and decide which lives look the best to you. pay attention to the people whose lives make you go "shit, I didn't realize you were allowed to do that," or "how do they get away with that?" or even, "who do they think they are, doing that?" I think we have an overly negative view of envy as an emotion. it can point you towards what you really want. and if there's things you want to accomplish before you reproduce, career-wise, or in terms of personal growth, or just a whole bucket list of shit you want to do, get started checking things off that list, and also don't be afraid to add more.

5. this one was also originally part of 3 but it also gets its own block because tumblr keeps trying to cut me off and it's super important anyway: you have so much more time to do everything than our culture wants you to think. you have time to change your mind about what you want, even. but you don't have time to drift on the cloud of vague ideas you internalized from your parents and the walt disney corporation. that's not me saying not to get straight married and do it the old-fashioned way, or not to become a doctor because your family wanted you to, or whatever. that's me saying that even if you're going to do that, you get to--you have to--decide what that relationship, or that career, looks like. you get as much say in building that life as anyone else. in both your personal and your professional life, you have time to pivot, to start over, but if the prospect of being 29 when you finish a three year pivot horrifies you, you need to realize that starting it at 32 will be even worse. that post about how "it takes three years" "the time's gonna pass anyway" is so fucking true. I'm still learning this one.

6. Making friends as an adult is as hard as everybody says it is. You have to be the one who does the ask. You will feel like the one doing the ask more often. Do it anyway. A corollary: if you were ever very, very close with someone, and you've drifted apart due to time and space, there is no amount of time and space that will make them not glad to hear from you if you reach out. don't think that if you haven't spoken to someone in a year you're not allowed to again. you don't even need an excuse. you can literally just hit them up like "hey, i'm sorry it's been so long since we've talked. i'd love to catch up-- i miss you! let me know when you're free for a phone call." and it will work. everyone is as lonely as you. people are so grateful to be asked. but also, everyone isn't going to be your best friend. if you can go to an event, or join a thing, or work in a place, and come out with one true friend, and keep adding one true friend everywhere you go, you'll have a whole bunch by the time you hit 30.

7. there is no correct amount of maturity for your late 20s. some of your friends are going to hit what feels like their 30s early-- doing all the conventional bourgeois success markers, the marriages and the houses and the babies. some of your friends are going to keep partying like they're still in college. I wish this was the part where I told you there was a secret third thing (the secret third thing is doing both, at the same time, and it's maybe the worst of all). for the next five years of your life, I need you to just stop thinking about your "developmental milestones." facebook and instagram and your parents' friends are going to make this hard for you. remind yourself that you're not a toddler. there's nothing you're supposed to be able to do at this age. there's nowhere you're supposed to be at this age. this realization can be really hard to handle, especially for people who got validated earlier in life for doing things early. it's impossible to read above grade level once you're out of high school. that freedom is hard. i'm not being condescending, it's genuinely fucking hard.

8. the conclusion of #7 is a subset of this: the great tradeoff of adulthood is that you get agency, but you have to take responsibility. if you find yourself in a situation where it feels like you have responsibility but no agency-- where you're constantly being blamed, but never get to call the shots, for example-- get the fuck out. whether that's a relationship, a job, whatever it is. if you find yourself exercising agency but not taking responsibility, sit with yourself and learn how to own your choices. you can't only have one.

9. if you aren't sure what you're doing with your career, you could do a hell of a lot worse than just trying to be whoever it is you wanted to be when you were 10. or at least, asking yourself what it was you liked about that thing, and figuring out a way to do it. if you aren't sure what to do with your career, get a job that pays your bills, and find fulfillment in the things you do in your free time, instead, for a while.

10. the thing I regret most about my late 20s is how much of it I spent in the waiting room of my own life. assuming that I would be leaving a place I lived, so not investing myself in making friends there. assuming that eventually, things would either get better, or worse, in a relationship, so I would be able to tell whether it was working or not. you have to sit down every fucking day (ok, not literally every day, but like... many of them)... and think about the life you want to have someday, and then you have to do one concrete thing to make that real in the moment. every day. and if you have some vision of where you want to end up eventually, but you're miserable every single day of the path toward that thing, I need you to consider seriously that achieving that goal will not make it worthwhile. I'm not saying to blow everything off and sit on the beach every day, but fuck, man. I spent, like, 26 to 29 hanging on white knuckled to a life that I thought was setting me up to be where I wanted to be when I was literally, like, 60, and eventually I just said you know what? I've got 30 fucking years to get somewhere good at 60, and I'm miserable right now. don't hold your present self hostage to the future.

11. get a cool fucking jacket and make it your entire personality. or a big pair of boots. or a haircut, or a tattoo. you might feel like a poser, at first, but you have to do it anyway. actually, that's a general rule: trying to be the person you want to be will always feel like being a poser at first. do it anyway. that's how it becomes real.

12. it's genuinely offensive how often the solution to what feels like the world ending is drinking a half-liter of water and having a snack.

#thank you anon for this ask #I hope the advice helps #whoever you are wherever you are i believe in you and feel free to come back for more advice #answered asks

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theboombutton · 8 months

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Bad Fictional Data vs Fictional Bad Data

WARNING: This post will include discussion of a name that might be Alice Dyer's deadname. I won't be calling Alice by this name or using it in the context of that name being a pointer to Alice, but I will be using the name, uncensored, when talking about where and why the name appeared in chdb.xls .

----

You may know that as part of the ARG, the sleuths on Statement Remains uncovered a document called chdb.xls, allegedly a list that has something to do with The Magnus Institute. There's a list of names, ID numbers, first and last names, dates of birth, and information apparently related to each person's "score" in an assortment of psychological/personality tests. Three of the names in particular have stood out in a lot of analyses: Samama Khalid, Gerard Kaey [sic], and Connor Dyer.

You likely don't know that the commonly linked version of the spreadsheet, ported to Google Docs and linked in the TMAGP ARG Masterdoc, is presented out of order. (I'm guessing they didn't lock down editing until it was already all out of order from various people messing with it - totally understandable, this is not a callout post, thank you for making this easily accessible to people.)

But let me tell you about something I discovered by looking at the spreadsheet in its original order, and the almost certainly incorrect rabbit hole of theorizing it has sent me down.

Bad Fictional Data

Until episode 2 I had the same thought about the Dyer listed in the spreadsheet that I think most people did: that it was Alice's deadname, and that she had therefore been one of the Institute's young subjects. But after Alice had absolutely no reaction when Sam mentioned the Magnus Institute to her in episode 2, I now think this is significantly less likely.

Don't get me wrong: it's still reasonable to think that the Dyer listed in chdb.xls is Alice. Maybe she had some kind of supernatural experience that wiped her memory. (It probably wasn't that Alice was too young to remember, as the Dyer on the spreadsheet is listed as being at Piaget Stage 3, which occurs from 7-11 years old; but it's always possible that the Magnus Institute was using the names of legitimate psychological tests to hide their tracks when recording more esoteric data.) The point is, this isn't hard evidence that Alice has no connection to the Magnus Institute; it just made me go looking for more evidence.

I went back to the spreadsheet to look for more clues about whether or not this was Alice's deadname. What I found instead was some extremely sloppy fake data at the bottom of the spreadsheet.

For context, here are first ten names in the spreadsheet:

Note how each ID begins with the name's first and last initial.

Now check out the last ten names:

Not only do these IDs no longer always match their subjects' names, they occur in order: CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV. The first names of each pair match the first letter of each ID, but many, though not all, of the surnames don't match the second letter.

My first thought was that whoever Rusty Quill had contracted to generate these names had gotten sloppy at the end of the list, created the IDs all at once using this alphabetical pattern, and picked names to fill in that roughly matched the IDs. But hey, we could use this to our advantage! Any name that was filled in as part of a series of IDs with an alphabetical pattern like this could be removed from consideration for red string analysis - we'd know they were meaningless fakes added by a lazy contractor, and not clues or characters that might show up again later.

Scrolling back up the spreadsheet, we can see the person generating the data having more care the earlier we go. We find the beginning of the AA/BC/DE/FG/HI pattern at line 136, but at first, the names mostly conform to the initials they've been given. JK09874 "Josie Jordan" at line 154 is the first break from the "first two letters of the ID are their initials" pattern; and breaks occur more often the further you go down the sheet.

Scrolling up to before line 136 (AA09911 - Aaron Atkinson), while the pattern isn't yet at AB/CD/EF/GH levels of obviousness, the first initials are still in alphabetical order. Zoe Hart follows Yara Logan follows Xavier Freeman follows Wyatt Edwards. The data creator skips a few letters - for example Niamh Fenton is followed by Phoebe Emmett, and S and T are together in the same line in Skye Travers.

We can follow this less-obvious version of the alphabetical pattern up to an abrupt break right at line 118, above which the IDs don't follow an alphabetical pattern at all. (They might follow a different pattern, but it's not one that I've found yet.) So that means we can discount all the names in line 118 and below as purely fake, generated lazily by a contractor, and not worthy of our attention for the purposes of red-stringing. Right?

What the fuck?!

(highlight is my own, it is not present in the original document)

My first thought was that the sloppy data generator had done the funniest thing imaginable, sending everyone on a wild goose chase about Alice's deadname just by having the name "Dyer" on the brain while looking for a surname that started with D. This would be Very Funny. No plot relevance, no implications, just the brain fart that launched a thousand theories.

My second thought was that maybe Connor Dyer was the last legit name on the list, and whoever started filling the rest of the sheet in with alphabetical junk data was inspired by the "CD" initials in the first place - whoever it was went on from there.

These are both valid thoughts! But I prefer my third thought:

What if it's on purpose?

Fictional Bad Data

There is a very obvious break between the set of data that doesn't look obviously* fake, and the set of data that is immediately identifiable as such. If we assume that this was intentional - and I want to reiterate that it all being unintentional is still a very real possibility here - why would someone at Rusty Quill want the data to be structured like this?

If the sharp dividing line between reasonable-seeming data and obviously fake data is intentional on RQ's part, it would suggest that we should take the data above row 118 as in-universe real data, and the data below row 118 as in-universe falsified data. It suggests that someone, either at the Institute or after its demise, was adding nonexistent children to the roster of The Magnus Institute. Why would someone want to do that?

There are all kinds of possible reasons, but here are a few off the top of my and my theorizing buddies' heads:

Financial fraud (institutional edition). If the Magnus Institute received funding on a per-child basis, they'd have an incentive to inflate their numbers.

Financial fraud (researcher edition). One or more people on staff were blowing off their child-analysis sessions and recording fake numbers for fake children. This would be ballsy as hell if they could be fired for it, but it was the Magnus Institute, so there's decent odds they couldn't be.

Scientific fraud (faking conclusions edition). The Magnus Institute in the Protocolverse claimed to be doing research on giftedness in children, which is the kind of thing that you'd normally publish in a scientific journal. It's not unheard-of for dickhead academics to falsify data to generate statistically significant results, since statistically insignificant results aren't going to get you published.

Scientific fraud (obscuring paranormal bullshit edition). If the Magnus Institute was using legitimate psychological test names to record Fear-related test results, it's possible their results showed different patterns from what you would expect from the real tests. They could have added the fake children to balance out the dataset as a whole.

Pseudonyms. The children are all real, the Institute just started using fake names for them for privacy purposes. They couldn't go back and change the names they'd already written properly for some reason. Probably something paranormal.

Those are all pretty interesting possibilities, and if we could narrow them down, it might tell us something about what things were like at the Magnus Institute before it burned down!

And the other big question is: why did RQ make the dividing line between the two sections, the first likely-fake entry, Connor Dyer?

One straightforward reason could be as a troll, a red herring to watch fans get in a lather over. And once the community inevitably noticed all the obviously falsified entries, RQ could eat popcorn and watch us lose our minds over whether or not that's even a real entry! (That sounds really fun, I would absolutely do that.)

But let's dig a little deeper, and look at what Connor Dyer being on the border between the real and fake entries would mean in-universe. Because of its position as the border between real and fake, it would be very easy for that entry to be accidentally included in the wrong group - a real research subject discarded as fake, or perhaps more interestingly, a fake research subject accidentally reclassified as real.

Remember, if a name is fake in the context of the Magnus Institute's research, that doesn't mean that the name itself is made up. If I was trying to think of a name that fit the initials CD, and those were the initials of my next door neighbor's kid, I might just write their name in as a lark. Especially if it was my first time trying to get away with falsifying information: this is a kid that verifiably exists and lives in the area.

My theory, supported primarily by my love for The Implications instead of actual evidence

Twenty years on, after all institutional memory of the fraud was long gone, trans icon Alice Dyer applies to work for the OIAR - an institution that (according to this theory) has an unofficial preference for hiring former Magnus Institute kids.

They are very confused when Alice proceeds to act nothing like a former Magnus Institute kid. It doesn't occur to anyone that her entry might have been falsified. What reason would anyone have to do that?

----

* Of course people with a background in data analysis or statistics will see immediately that even above line 118 this is a wild-ass dataset that would raise red flags for falsification, but at least it's not "the alphabet over and over" levels of obvious.

#tmagp theory #alice dyer #tmagp arg #chdb.xls #tmagp speculation #tmagp #the magnus protocol #cw deadnaming

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hellfirenacht · 1 month

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Wing Man: Epilogue

Fic Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: Corroded Coffin takes flight, and you're on air.

1.4k Words

(Master List 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15)

“Oh, is it on? Sorry about that everyone! You’d think after a year on air I’d get this cue right, but apparently we’re still working out some of the technical bugs for getting that timing right. Anyway, welcome back to LTRD, The Right Road to Good Music.”

That was a lie, you hadn’t missed the cue. You had only ever missed the cue once on your first week on air, and the few listeners had found it so funny that you had been instructed to keep it as a bit. The radio persona you put on was a bit more air-headed than you might have picked out for yourself, but you had fun with it.

In all the time you had tried to be on stage, who knew that you’d do better when no one could see you? The sound mixers not-withstanding, of course.

“In studio today we actually have Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin fame here to tell us about their new studio album.” You smiled across the table at your boyfriend, who was leaning back casually in his chair, as if he’d done this a hundred times.

And he might as well have with how many times you two went over everything the past week to get ready for this interview.

“It was going to be a garage album, but it turns out the studio doesn’t want everything recorded on a tape recorder.” He gave you a winning smile that still gave you butterflies, even now a little over a year later.

“With the way your popularity has taken off in the area, I’m sure more than a few people would be willing to shell out for that.”

“Maybe, but we aren’t shell outs.” Eddie looked at you with the biggest grin and you had to take a deep breath. That had NOT been in your practice, and you were so mad that stupid joke almost made you laugh.

“Welp, this has been a good interview, but we’re gonna have to cut it short- I’m joking, Merv.” You said to the station director who was shooting you a look. “So, tell us about the new album.”

“Thanks for having me on to talk about this.” Eddie said, fiddling with one of his rings. His hair had grown even longer in the past year, falling down just passed his chest now. His arms had a few more tattoos, and you knew from up close and personal experience that his thighs now had a few very nice pieces. You tried not to think about that while you were on air. “The new album is coming out this October, and it’s called Fire Shroud. The whole album is heavily inspired by a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that we all played together a few years ago.”

“Dungeons and Dragons?” you asked, pretending to know less than you did for the sake of the interview. “Pretty brave to say that on air. I think we had a few people storm the phone lines a few weeks ago for dating to mention the game.”

Eddie grabbed the mic and pulled it closer to him. “I want people to know that enjoying fantasy, using your imagination, and learning basic math isn’t even close to the Satanic bullshit people say it is- wait, can I say that on air?”

You looked at the clock, it was just passed 1 am. “Fuck no.” you smiled at him.

“Good.” he continued. “Listen, whatever freaky sacrificial rituals I do, happen in my off time when I’m not playing music or running a game.”

“I take it that the blood just gets all over the game board?”

“I spend so long painting my game pieces, so I don’t like getting blood on my hard work.”

The interview went on like this for a while, and you and Eddie effortlessly went through the basic points that you two needed to hit. The albums release, how excited Corroded Coffin was to be working on this, and how excited they were to hopefully put the game that meant so much to them in a better light.

“So, if anyone wants to come see Corroded Coffin live, where can they go to see you?”

“We’re actually playing a few venues and theaters in the Indianapolis area next month, we’ll be sharing the stage with a few other bands. We are also going to be helping out with one of the shows at the latest Rocky Horror Picture Show revival soon.”

Columbia (you were sure Robin told you her real name at some point, but she would always be Columbia in your mind), had staged a coup after the theater had been handed over to Left Turn. She had taken the remaining members and had gone to another theater. When news about Corroded Coffin’s graduation take-over hit, she had Robin reach out to you and you had talked to Eddie and everything came together pretty easily from there. It would only be for one night, but you found yourself really looking forward to seeing the show again.

Merve signaled at you to wrap it up, and when the light went off you sighed and sagged in your seat. Eddie got up to get you some coffee, and you were thankful for that. Being a late night radio host had made your sleep schedule a bit weird, but you wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Are we still on for breakfast when you get off?” He asked. “Still doing a double date with Steve and his latest girlfriend?”

You snorted. “As far as I know. He might sleep in again and miss it.”

“Well, if he does then we’ll just get breakfast to go and I can keep you to myself then.” Eddie said. “I’ll need a nap after this.”

“You know, you don’t have to stick around. You can go home and get some sleep.” you suggested. “Just because I’m here all night, it doesn’t mean that you have to be. You already spend most of your time down the hall with the rest of the boys.”

“I gotta make sure no creeps call in and try and flirt with you.” he said. “Not while I’m here.”

“Eddie, I do this five nights a week, and I’ve only had, what, maybe 3 creeps call in and most times Merv is able to catch them before they make it on air.” You reached up and scratched at his scalp. “I appreciate the concern, though.”

Eddie yawned and closed his eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he mumbled, his eyes closing. “If I go home, I know I’ll miss picking you up.”

“We drove here separately.” you laughed. “Go take a nap on the couch in the break room. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”

“Fine, but I’m taking your blanket.” He said, grabbing the fleece that was draped over your chair. Eddie leaned in and gave you a kiss. “Knock ‘em dead, baby.”

“Only if you bury them.” you smiled back at him.

The night went on with music, call-ins, news, and weather. When the first rays of morning light peaked through the windows of Left Turn Studios, you signed off, got your notes from Merv, and went to the break room where your boyfriend was already nursing a room temperature cup of coffee.

“Let’s get you some real coffee.” you took the flimsy cup away from him and tossed it in the trash.

Eddie stood up and leaned in and kissed you, his hand cupping your jaw. You hummed against his lips and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“What was that for?” you asked as he pulled back.

“It’s a better wake up than shitty coffee.” He said, kissing your forehead. “But now I want mediocre coffee.”

It was a surprisingly cool morning as the two of you stepped out of the studio. You said your hellos to the morning shift as they filed in, and Eddie walked you to your car. “See you at the diner. If Harrington doesn’t show up within fifteen minutes, we’re taking our food to go.”

“Can’t argue with that.” You agreed.

Within an hour, you were dozing off on Eddie’s chest in bed together. Your leftover breakfast pushed to the side as MTV played some song that you were glad you didn’t have to put on your show. Eddie’s arm was around your shoulders and tracing patterns absently against your skin.

There had once been a time where you felt like a fish out of water, and then later you could breathe. Now, so long after making the dumb little deal with Steve you realized you weren’t meant for the land or sea.

From now on, you could fly.

a/n: The End

Dividers by: @strangergraphics

Tag List @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n

@mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea

@vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93

@perpetualmessmachine @thebook-hobbit @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh

@siriuslysmoking @huffledor-able541 @pookiesnatcher @eddiesguitarskills @browneyes-8288

@sheneedsrocknroll92 @kores-mun-son-n-more @eddiebuttcheeks @kirsteng42 @dreamerjj

@moonisu @em022O @cosmorant @kurdtbean

#nacht fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n

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gingerrtarot · 1 year

Text

◌ ｡ PAC: “I’ll do it later…” - why do you procrastinate and how you can stop it?

hello everyone! welcome to my new reading~

as the heading suggest, today we will look at the reasons behind your “laziness” and you will get some advices on how you can change that.

keep in mind that this is a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you.

now, let’s pick a pile!

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

°｡ Pile 1. ◌

Hello, guys!! so right off the bat I don’t actually see you guys as some slackers. People from this group, on the contrary, may be involved in many different activities at once, or at least they always have many plans in mind. maybe you judge yourself too harshly. another thing i pick up on here is that you were this super talented kids at school and now your family, teachers, colleagues may be expecting too much from you. so you end up always feeling like you are not doing enough.also, it seems like you are doing what others want and do not do things that will satisfy your desires. you may be oppressed by others. I see that some of you may want to work in a political field or maybe something related to judging. or you just want to be somewhere where you will be heard in your opinions will matter your words will have power. so why do you procrastinate? there are several options here. first, you may, actually, take a lot of tasks at once, and then you end up doing a little bit of this a little bit of that, and it doesn’t produce any result. Second, you may come up with many ideas and, but you always put off their implementation until later. In the first case, you are advised to learn to prioritize the right things; make a to-do lists, highlight the most important ones and do them first. In the second case, you need to start bring your ideas to execution as soon as you have them. Don’t put anything off for later, take at least a small action that will help you bring your ideas to life. don’t forget about it, don’t shelve them, it won’t make you any good.

one more thing. some people in this group may have problems with their family. They force you to do something that you don’t want, or even if they don’t force you, they gently persuade you or raise hopes for you that you cannot justify, you don’t want it, but you do it for their sake. And here the cards advise, if possible, to move. You will immediately become more motivated, more active and energetic. All the things that previously seemed difficult to you will be given to you with ease. if this is your problem, moving here will be extremely useful.

°｡ Pile 2. ◌

hi there pile 2! Here I see people who have recently experienced some kind of transformation. It could have moved, changed your study place or a job, perhaps you have suffered a loss or something similar. It may also be that you had to grow up early, when your inner self was not yet ready for it. Now you may be in a state of apathy; you do not have the strength and energy to do anything.

And even if you do want to do something, you just don’t know how. It feels like you are in the fog. Where to go and what to do, how to do it - you lack knowledge and skills. I see here a desire to return to your comfort zone, maybe go back to your childhood, to your family. somewhere you didn’t have to decide and do so much yourself. you want and need some help. and some stability and security. You shouldn't judge or blame yourself if you experience this, it's okay. Change can be difficult to cope with, give yourself time to collect yourself both mentally and physically. But if you have been in this state for a long time, you should think about it and pull yourself together. Otherwise it may drag on for years. The advice to you here is to find people with whom you can grow and develop together. You lack experience and knowledge in some areas right now. And help of people now will be very useful to you. Communicate with those who are more experienced than you, with those who can teach you something. Invite acquaintances at your place of study or work, if possible. Or try to find people with similar goals through social networks, with whom you can somehow collaborate. Yes, I know it's not that easy. But even if you can’t do this, try to find at least some celebrities, bloggers and influencers who would work, for example, in the same field in which you want to work. Find those who you will look up to, those who will inspire you and will be able to provide you with some helpful information and this will already be great.

°｡ Pile 3. ◌

hey, pile 3!! There's a lot of youthful energy here. You guys are most likely extroverts, you are active, like to go for walks, relax, have fun, and do some kind of creative work. And yes, we all love it, but you especially. Like the second group, you lack life experience that can help you achieve what you want. And what else is important, many here may not have any goals or desires at all.

Perhaps you prefer to live in the present and you’re not thinking about the future too much. Yes, it may be good, but here it’s a real problem. some people here simply don’t have enough willpower, you indulge your momentary weaknesses and whims. for some, it’s just a trait of your character that you need to work with and change it, if you want to be more productive. But for others, the lack of motivation and any ambition comes from disappointment in the past. You may have been brought up in strictness; your desire and way of self-expression was not accepted, your dreams and goals were devaluated and you got used to considering yourself a loser. Or maybe, having failed, you have lost faith in yourself. Maybe you had a small failure or maybe a big one, in the end it led you to the fact that you decided not to try at all. It may also be that you are one of those who get disappointed and quit the job they started after it didn’t work out right away. Like, you wanted to draw a masterpiece but it turned out to be doodles, and you start to think that drawing is not for you and give up on it. But it’s wrong. You may be born a genius, but without training and practice you will achieve nothing. Therefore, it is important to study and work and not give up after the first failure, no matter what.

Self-discipline is what you need. Of course there is no miracle advice or potion that will help you deal with this. It will take time but in the end it will be worth it. So create a routine for yourself that will help you be more productive and stick to it. If it’s difficult for you to control yourself, ask others for help, there’s nothing wrong with that. Over time you will succeed, be patient. good luck!

#pick a card #pac #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarot #manifesation #free readings

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thought--bubble · 11 months

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She is Happy Now Part (2/5)

Modern Aemond X (Ex Girlfriend Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 2,116

She is happy now Master List

Modern Aemond Master List

Full Master List

Banners by @arcielee

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cheating, alcohol use, dubcon, and a bit of angst.

"Is she coming?"

"I don't know. Her asshole cheater ex is going to be there so she might not"

Aemond rolls his eye and clenches his jaw.

"It's been years, Heleana. You think you could maybe stop calling me that?"

" I love you Aem, your my brother but when it comes to you and her I'm on her side. You were a major Jerk"

He groans and runs his hand down his face.

He is sitting at Heleanas breakfast bar in her kitchen. Heleana is moving around the kitchen, getting breakfast ready, and putting coffee on.

"I am aware that I'm the asshole in this story." He lets out a sigh. "I just want to see her again"

"She's happy now, you know. So, any little magical scenarios you have made up in your head where you woo her back to you can be left right there in your head. " she looked at him warningly.

He doesn't say anything and just looks down playing with his fingers.

"She has been with Cregan for a few months now. He's good for her AND good to her. Something you failed at spectacularly"

"We were good together for 4 years! I wasn't horrible the entire time! I messed up once. One time. And she never spoke to me again!"

"If Gwayne had done to me what you did to her.... how would you react?" She looks at him eyebrows raised.

Aemond sighs and puts his head down on the counter. It's pointless Heleana never let's him get away with making up excuses for how your relationship ended and he knows she's right.

He tried for months after you left his dorm to contact you. Apologize. Promise it would never happen again. It was Heleana who ended up making him realize what was done was done.

"Have you heard from her?"

"Yes." Heleana sighed into the phone

"So did you ask her to call me?"

"I did. And then she sent me a video explaining why she didn't want to."

Aemond cringed. "A video?"

"Oh yeah. Like the idiot I am, I told her to record your reaction to her surprise, saying you would be so excited. So she got your entire reunion on video. You're a real prince charming, you know? Do not ask me to contact her again on your behalf. I won't do it and neither will egg. Least you could do at this point is leave her alone."

Aemond is pulled out of his memories by Gwaynes loud. "Good morning!" And the laughter of his niece and nephew.

"Uncle Almond," jaheara yells excitedly. She is only 3 and pronounces his name almond, which Aegon finds hilarious.

"Hey peanut" he reaches down and picks her up placing a big sloppy kiss on her forehead

"Ewwww! She shrieks, wiping her forehead and trying to wiggle out of his arms.

"Everybody ready to go get Uncle Aegon married today?" Gwayne says excitedly towards the kids.

Aemond puts down jaheara and sits on his stool stewing in his own frustration. He never thought that Aegon would be happily married while he was the one alone. Miserable and full of regret.

He never meant to let it get that far with his professor. He knew she was attracted to him right away. He could tell by the way her touch lingered whenever he turned in an assignment or the way her gaze would find him during lectures. He thought flirt with her, and a good grade would be easy. What he didn't plan on was bumping into her on his way back from his first college party drunk out of his mind and having not seen his girlfriend for months. He didn't plan on her offering to help him get back to his dorm, and he didn't plan on allowing her to come in.

He sobered up immediately when he saw her standing at the door, though. The gravity of what he had just done and what was happening in that moment hit him like a freight train.

"Shit! Baby, hold on, let me explain. " Aemond could feel his desperation tightening in his chest. He fucked up, bad, and he knew it .

"Oh, ummm, nope, no thanks"

That reaction was the worst thing he could have gotten from her. No yelling, no fight to be had she was just leaving and not turning back.

He started to panic. If she left right now like this after seeing what he had done, he was afraid that would be it. He grabbed her arm "wait please just give me one second "

You turned on him like a viper pushing his arm away "do not fucking touch me, forget my name loose my number I no longer exist to you"

His chest clenched, it felt like his heart was being squeezed. he swayed on his feet, swallowing down the sickness that attempted to make its way up his throat.

You had turned and went down the hall and out through the doors that led to the stairs

"Shit shit shit! " Aemond ran back into his dorm quickly, putting his sweatpants and sneakers on. His professor was sitting on the bed, strapping her shoes on.

"You know I wouldn't have come up here with you if I knew there was a girlfriend." She looked at him angrily

"I'm sorry" was all he could get out as he ran out of his dorm down the hallway and down the stairs and right through the doors to outside. He ran down the walkway, looking both directions, but didn't see you anywhere.

"No no no no! This can't be it, no, no!" Aemond was yanking at his hair, his eye full of tears. He tries to run to the left but is not steady on his feet because of how much he drank and ends up falling on the sidewalk. He attempts to get himself up but gives up exhausted and lets out a huge loud sob.

He rolls onto his back on the cement of the walkway and just looks up at the sky while tears roll down his cheek.

"This isn't really how we end, is it?" He says to no one

"Hello! Earth to Aemond!" Aemond crashes back into the present with Heleana snapping in his face. She sighs and looks at him tenderly.

"Cmon, eat your breakfast and get ready." She taps his shoulder as she heads out of the kitchen and up the stairs to get her and the kids ready for Aegons nuptials.

He isn't able to get much down, but he takes a few bites and heads upstairs to get himself ready.

He drives to the ceremony with Heleana and Gwayne sitting in the middle of the backseat between the twins in their booster seats.

"I'm gonna marry you one day" Aemond says dreamily looking up at his ceiling.

It's summer of junior year and you are both squished onto his twin bed his arm under you holding you close.

"Oh?" You say picking your head up and looking at him.

"Isn't it obvious, darling? Can't live without ya. Marriage is a given at this point" he laughs, grabbing your chin and pulling you in for a kiss.

"Would you want to get married in the grand Sept or on the beach?"

"Anywhere as long as I'm marrying you," aemond leans in for another kiss.

"I'm serious I want to have it all planned out ahead of time!"

"Then plan it out, baby. Because no matter where it is, I'll show up to marry you"

You giggled as he rolled over on top of you kissing you with purpose

The car door slams. They have made it to the grand Sept, and it is time to get this show on the road. Aemond makes his way inside and heads to the grooms room where Aegon is bouncing around with excitement, putting on his finishing touches.

"Aemond! Smile, man! This is a joyous day!" Aegon yells at him while grabbing his arm and pulling him all the way into the room.

Aemond forces a big smile on his face for Aegon's benefit. It's not that he isn't happy for his brother, he is. He just can't help the jealousy that is flowing through him at this moment.

This could have been them. Should have been them. Would have been them if he didn't screw it all up.

When it's time for the actual ceremony to begin, everyone makes their way to their places. Aemond smiles at Ellyn as they get in line. He can feel his heart rate speed up at the thought that you might be out there. After years of being so far from you, you both might actually be in the same room at the same time.

Aemond waits impatiently for the pair ahead of them to step in front of the doorway and start to walk down the aisle. Once Criston and Maris step out and down the aisle, he and ellyn move forward and stand in the doorway. He sees you right away. You're looking down at the ground, but he could spot that little heart tattoo on the back of your neck anywhere. He has a matching one on the inside of his wrist. He's happy to see yours hasn't been covered or blacked out.

"Matching tattoos? are you daft?" Aegon laughs while looking at Aemond incredulously.

Aemond ignores him slathering on some of the aftercare products he had been told he would need to put on a few times a day.

"And what will you do when you split up? Walking around with that on your arm to remind you forever?"

Aemond laughs and continues applying the balm,"we aren't going to split up egg. This tattoo is forever, and so are we"

"You are 18 Aemond! You couldn't possibly know that you will stay together forever! You leave for university in less than a month! You really think the long-distance thing is going to work? For 4 years?"

"I know it will. Just because you don't understand commitment doesn't mean I don't, " Aemond says haughtily.

Aegon rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say. Just don't let mom see that. She's gonna kill you!"

Ellyn yanks on Aemonds arm and looks at him perplexed.

He clears his throat and starts to make his way down the aisle. Unfortunately for him, he can't really see you now because you're on his blind side. They make it up to the altar and release their arms, each moving to their assigned spot. He flicks his eye back towards you, and you're hard to see. Why did you have to sit so far back?

He pays no attention to how the ceremony continues going on around him, shaking his leg impatiently.

He hears his mother clear her throat from the front row. He looks at her, and she opens her eyes wide and waves her hand at him in a way of telling him to cut it out.

He straightens his back and stands up tall, taking in a deep breath. Focusing on Aegon and Cassandra. They are putting the rings on each other's fingers, and he feels a wave of pain roll through him.

His hands clapsed before him, he started unconsciously rubbing his wrist where the heart tattoo sits. He had no idea this was going to be this hard. His whole body is shaking with emotional overload. When finally Aegon and Cassandra kiss and then turn to their guests, raising their claspsed hands above their heads and starting to make their way back down the aisle he moves forward on shakey legs and joins his arm with Ellyns once more, walking down the aisle he keeps his eye trained on where he knows you are. Your head is turned away from him, looking at the entryway. He can see your arm is looped around the arm of the brown haired man standing next to you. How he would give anything to switch places with him. Even just for a minute. As he continues down the aisle eye trained on you, you turn your head, and it happens. Your tear filled eyes find his, and he forgets how to breathe. Those eyes he has seen filled with rage and hurt for years in his dreams are there right in front of him, filled with tears, and he thinks they have never been more beautiful.

He is forced to stop looking at you once he passes, but he knows your last conversation can't be the last interaction you ever have. No, he has one more chance to talk to you.

At the reception.

A/N: Part 3 is in the works. I have a mid-term tonight and a lot of homework this weekend, so I probably won't get it out until Monday. Thank you to anyone who reads :) ❤️

Part 3

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#modern aemond x reader #aemond x reader #modern aemond angst #modern aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #modern aemond/ you #aemond one eye #aemond x oc #ewan mitchell verse #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell #jess fics #my modern war criminal bf

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vitaminseetarot · 8 months

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PAC (Pick-A-Candy): February's Message For You ❄🕯

Hey y'all, welcome back! Thank you so much for playing in my first tarot game. I'm so glad to have the chance to reach out to everyone for inquiries. Thank you so much for your feedback as well! I'm still reading through your responses and feel grateful for all the positivity. There have been a lot of delays throughout this month and I haven't had as much time as I'd like to be on here in January, but I'm itching to pick up the pace in February. I'm planning another game in early March, topic to be announced, so stay tuned.

I wanted to start this month with a short and sweet pick a card reading to give you advice. For anyone celebrating this time of year, may you enjoy this time of peace and recovery and maybe some really tasty snacks with hot cocoa too. Pick whatever chocolate below looks most appealing to you. ❄🕯

Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond

Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut

Land:Tree:Sun, King of Mechanisms: Heliacal Chronograph, 26 Duality, King of Swords, XII Hanged Man, XV Devil, 7 of Swords, 7 of Wands

Hey, you! Did you recently complete something big or reach a major milestone in your life? If so, congratulations! Your efforts are paying off, if not now then over time they will show. But first, before doing or planning anything else, you need to sit down for a little while and just… breathe. Breathe deep. Replenish your mind from harrying so much over all that you have had to, have to, or will have to do (that was a mouthful, so I can't imagine how much clutter that is in the brain! Also I channeled the word "harrying" which I never use and had to look it up lol, but the word definitely still fits). Now is not the time to push, but a time to breathe and reflect.

You're in a time of transition, and this could mean many things. It could be a move or a job transfer, or you're thinking of how to change your way of living. I'm feeling that many in this pile are still actively working towards their New Years resolutions. Some in this pile may have had a very busy year, while others here wish to shift gears and become focused on doing more, a lot more than last year. Are you trying to make up for lost time? It's only February, pile one, so you have way more time than it seems to get things straightened out or set into motion. You're not creating a time debt by using your break or time off to actually self soothe, like most people do. Your tenacity is admirable, but in terms of self development, too much push to get things done might set you back.

You must balance between resting and recovery, all while strategically planning for your next course of action. Some of you may be struggling to get organized, but making schedules and lists could help immensely, so you're not spending as much energy trying to remember everything. There are also apps that are designed to help you stay on track, giving you more time to just hang out and be. There is nothing wrong with spending this entire month on decompressing from everything you've had to do. It's not going to happen when you're working on something else. That's a distraction, not progress, to work as a way of avoiding healing. However you decide to relax, make sure it actually involves relaxation. If that means laying in bed and watching TV for the day, then that's what it means. If you relax more by doing a chore, then make it something simple to complete like folding clothes.

Don't feel guilty for taking time off, but don't let the time slip by either. Schedule "Don't-Do-Much" days and see what kind of difference it makes to your productivity and routine over time. Think of this transition as an intermission of sorts. This is your chance to get up, use the restroom, order more popcorn, text a friend, etc. before getting back to your movie. You can choose not to get up, but once the intermission has passed, the movie will not pause for you. So use this opportunity to rest with intention, knowing that when change comes to thrust you into the next phase of life, it may do so unexpectedly fast and you'll be more ready for it.

Keep your ambitions lit up, because even as you rest, those dreams are still at work. Don't think that time off means abandoning any plans or being lazy. It's a matter of decluttering your mind space so you can actually focus on the next thing better, and you can't drain the brain of all your pain if you replace worry with more worry. Life is more than a series of boxes to tick off, saying "what's next? what's next? huh? what's next? HUH??" right after each one is done. If life worked that way, sleep wouldn't be a thing, and likely neither would we, because how can anything sustain that gogogo fever forever? Protect your right to self care, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to take time out just for you.

Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate

Spiritual, 7 of Prisms: Flux Tempest, 19 Unlimited Possibilities, King of Cups Rx, 2 of Pentacles, I Magician, 9 of Cups, Page of Wands

You may feel overwhelmed right now, like a lot of changes are happening at once, or could happen imminently. Things may feel topsy-turvy, and it's a struggle just to get through the day to day with all this weighing on your mind. There could be different options to choose from or a lot of emotionally heavy decisions that could be leaving you feeling a bit straggled. It could be a decision to undergo a kind of treatment, or many job offers suddenly come to you, and rather than feeling elated for the opportunities, you're feeling anxious about what to do more than anything.

Many opportunities and risks abound, and although it isn't easy, it's important to spend some time to figure out what you wish to do. We all want to make the best choices in life, but sometimes life involves a good deal of trial and error and retrial no matter how logical and sensible we try to make things behave. A lot of important details can get swept away in the rush to resolve a conflict as quickly and easily as possible. Even when the best choice is made, things can still happen. Life can be pretty random and chaotic at times, in ways not even shuffled cards can keep up with. It's not so much the choosing, but staying committed to the choice, that can be most difficult.

It's time to go within and listen to spirit for guidance. You need some time and space in order to feel this out, not just think it through. Our mind can work all day scoping out each and every pro and con, and that's where meditation comes in. Let the answers flow towards you naturally. When you can embrace the change to come from this choice, rather than fearing it, the way will light up for you and it'll be smoother sailing from here. The seasons will change no matter how long this time out will take for you, but one spring passed means another spring will eventually come again. If it doesn't work out the first time, there will always come another.

You have a heightened ability to manifest your desired outcome this month, and you may find that some things will naturally fall into place as soon as your mind is made up and you let go. Yes, anything can happen, but that also includes good things, it even includes things you have deeply wished for. Envision the best possible outcome first and don't get caught in too many details about how it should play out. We can trick ourselves into thinking that by assuming the worst, we can prepare for the worst. Instead, prepare for the best case scenario for you and you'll be surprised at how much easier it gets to sift out and manage challenges when they do show up.

Keep your mind steady and heart focused on what you want. Remain in a space of enthusiasm for what you'd like to happen. The page of wands is very eager, it's like they have the energy of a little kid pointing to a famous performer on stage and going, "that'll be ME someday!" Not "that could be me" or "ah, if only that could be me," but "that WILL be me." Think of your motivation as a fire that must be tended to on a regular basis. No matter how small or large the flame in your heart is, it will be the light that guides you into making the best decision for yourself. Take good care of it.

Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond

Land:Animal:Moon, Macroscoria, 10 Burden, King of Cups, VIII Strength, King of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, II High Priestess

Your sensitivity and overall empathic ability is high right now. There may be an inclination to feel a heightened sense of compassion for others, particularly animals (you have a lot of animals present in your spread, and Animal:Moon talks about those kind of connections in particular). Animal companions want to help you out this month, whether on the physical or astral plane, so turn to them for healing just as they would turn to you.

Create solid psychic boundaries to protect your mind. A lot of intense psychic energy could be purged through with the Macroscoria card. I'm almost reminded of what's it like to delve through Akashic records (or as I call it the Hall of All Knowledge), but this is a more universal, primal energy coming through? The card reminds me of Earth in its early stages when it was all still molten and predominated by immense fiery tectonic activity, fundamental forces bursting from beneath. Instincts can seem basic, but they're powerful. This energy could be coming from within you most likely, but you could be picking up on others' chaotic moods as well. This isn't a force to fight, but to work in your favor. Anger for example isn't wrong, but there's a right and a wrong way of expressing anger. It's a matter of channeling it into a proper medium.

If you were drawn to pile 2, there may be a message for you there as well, as the King of Cups is in the same position. There's an emphasis on being able to stay present with others with deep compassion while staying emotionally detached. Detachment is not the same as not caring, it's a state that allows you to embody what another is feeling and give them space to feel without losing yourself in it. Try to adopt an observational approach. When you are in a state of experiencing intense emotions, we can also practice the art of "stepping aside" to observe ourselves and learn from these feelings instead of pushing them away.

You and others must remain resilient, as you could be undergoing a challenging time. Don't push the limit though. Lend a helping hand when needed, but remember that you too deserve that same compassion in return. Whatever this challenge is, there is a potential for growth to come from this. This month could bring in a special reward for you, what that is isn't clear but your good efforts won't go unnoticed. It may feel difficult now, but when things start to improve, you'll innately know, and the payoff could be rather big, or more than what you expected. You may feel that many could be leaning on you now for support, but trust that whatever support you provide will in turn be granted back to you.

Observation doesn't mean apathy or overanalysis. It's about sitting and being present with what's happening around you and within you. Mindfulness exercises could help you out a lot this February, along with writing down your nightly dreams or even making a vent journal to scribble out frustrations. Make sure your emotions don't stay bottled or contained or they could burst. Instead, check in every day and find one thing that will help vent out those emotions. Your intuition is your best friend now.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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ivesambrose · 1 year

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𝕽𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 🖤🔪⛓️

1. 2. 3.

As promised to the ones who were wronged and I mean it, severely wronged not a 'they were mean to me once' neither a 'I was the problem but I'm gonna pretend they're the villian of the story',

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of bullying, abuse etc

"how badly are they gonna get fucked up after this."

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]

♦️ More pick a cards ♦️ Paid Services ♦️

Thank you for the tip 🌿

Picture 1

They were a bully weren't they?

A self righteous hero in their narrative. Someone who simply, "says it like it is." But the intentions are your downfall rather than just an act of care or 'tough love' making you second guess yourself constantly. Perhaps a gaslighter or even physically violent/would threaten you as well perhaps.

Some of you may have felt like you'll never be able to progress and move forward in your life and your plans. Some of you feel like a machine sometimes trying to prove your worth but it's never enough.

I keep hearing, "I wanna go. I wanna go. I don't belong here this isn't my place."

For you, rest assured you'll boldly venture into the unknown and succeed.

They however,

Can say goodbye to peace and balance in their life and their health. Constantly struggling internally to the point it starts showing on their face. I think some of these individuals peaked at a certain point of their lives (you know the ones who peak in highschool and think they run the show) I see them reminiscing how they looked like before or the attention they got before. I see them feeling stuck in one place and not being able to make progress. If this is someone who would bully you for your physical looks they'll have a severe glow down. If this is someone who cheated on you then they get a taste of their own medicine but worse. In some cases I'm seeing even more severe loss and maybe even trying to make amends with you because suddenly you're more successful or better off without them. I honestly see a lot of regret on their part but some of them may not have the guts to admit the same.

Picture 2

This may have either been a liar or straight up emotionally abusive and controlling. I do sense some of them have been physically or sexually abusive as well. The image I'm getting is someone treating you like their puppet or thinking they have a right over you.

Some of you may have felt or believed that you can't do better than this neither deserve better than this. They made your question your very worth and reality and you often took pity or emphatized and continued to forgive and go back to them.

I'm also seeing for some, that this could be someone who keeps you around for their convinience like you're their emotional crutch.

For you, there are is a light at the end of the tunnel you've walked out of.

For them,

Literal unseen disruptions that shake the very core of their ego, stability and power. Maybe even their career declining to nothing. Legal troubles as well and finding out that those they have trusted or considered their friends don't really care about them either. For someone so selfish and constantly stuck in their narcissistic victim mindset this would be a heavy blow and all I see them doing is throw a child like tantrum.

Picture 3

I believe you attract jealousy, envy, stalkers and maybe even people who need to match the effort you put for them but find an excuse to slack.

I believe that you are aware of your power, this awareness has come after years of being shunned, talked down on and made fun of.

You may have a list of people adding up (it's giving Kill Bill) who have literally just put you down, taken you for granted, betrayed you and it's all piled up almost because I do see a lot of you are rather forgiving or try to understand the other person.

Oftentimes you can care less because you know if someone does you wrong in any shape or form and it's unwarranted then may God help them.

I don't feel you actively seek vengeance.

You seem like a creative soul, perhaps you channel your pain into art or other things that can benefit you or others. But scars in your heart remain.

For you, I see recognition, fun and good money/stability in life.

For those who have wronged you or wish you harm,

Anxiety, the kind that feels like they are in the middle of a circus show and someone asked them to do the sword swallowing trick at gunpoint. Financial loss, having people backstab them or abandon them.

On a more personal note I see that you get the last laugh in this situation.

Few of you could also be witches? A handful of you I'm seeing. So your words could literally be hexes.

#free readings #tarot community #divination community #pick a card #PAC #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a picture reading #tarot readers #psychic readings #psychic reading

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butdaddyilovehim-hs · 1 year

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The Wedding

Y/N is stressed planning for their wedding and Harry can’t seem to do anything right.

Warnings: angst, sad ending, explicit language

Word Count: 1.2k

Y/N gazed at the bling on her finger, the stone catching in the sunlight. It had been 6 months since she had said yes and wedding planning was in full swing. Of course with Harry being CEO of one of the largest Fortune 500 companies in the world, their wedding was all any of the tabloids were talking about.

Harry and Y/N. London’s power couple. There were now less than 2 months before the big day and Y/N had everything under control. Well… she thought she did. Y/N sighed and rubbed her temples as she stared at the seating chart, a massive binder beside her. A steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of her as Harry kissed the top of her head before sitting down next to her.

“Y/N. You’ve been staring at those charts for the last two hours. Why don’t you take a break?” She raised an eyebrow before taking a deep breath.

“Take a break? Are you kidding me? Our wedding is in 2 months Harry. And the seating plan still isn’t finished. I still haven’t bought my dress, you haven’t been to get a tux and we haven’t booked the flowers. We haven’t booked the flowers Harry!” He chuckled before tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“It’s going to be fine Y/N. Ok let me help. We can have our parents seated together on table 2… wait. Your mom isn’t on this list?” Y/N sighed as Harry looked up at her quizzically.

“I don’t know if I want to invite her. We still haven’t worked out all of our issues and I don’t need her coming in and running the whole show.”

“Why don’t you invite her for a visit? You need to work things out and I’m sure she would love nothing more than to be there for you on our day.” Y/N took a large sip of her coffee, shaking her head violently.

“Nope. No way Harry. I can’t deal with her right now. I’m stressed enough as it is.”

“But maybe if you tried you could-”

“I said NO Harry. Stop pushing it.” She turned her attention back to the seating chart, shutting him out completely. Harry watched her for a few moments before shaking his head and walking to the study. She’s just overwhelmed, he told himself. We’re going to be fine.

3 weeks later Y/N felt like she was drowning. She had found her dress but it was the wrong size since she had lost so much weight for the wedding. Everyone was getting on her nerves. Even Harry. Well… especially Harry. She heard the front door open then close and tore her gaze away from her planner to see Harry come in through the front door. Noticeably, without a tux. He leant down to kiss her hello, before noticing her annoyed glare.

“Everything ok hun?”

“Harry… where’s your tux?” Y/N asked coolly. His expression turned to confusion.“Y/N, what are you talking about? You told me last week to pick it up on Wednesday. It’s- he checked the date on his phone- shit. I thought it was Tuesday. Doesn’t matter, I'll just go tomorrow.” Y/N slammed her book shut before glaring at him once more.

“You can’t just “go tomorrow.” They’re closed for the next 3 weeks Harry. You won’t have time to make any adjustments if it’s wrong. God why can’t you just listen for once?!” She bit out frustrated.

Harry laughed dryly.

“Why can’t I just listen for once? Jesus Y/N, I have been listening to you for the past 6 months complain about each tiny thing that has gone wrong. Big deal. I forgot to collect it. I’ll go and get it when I can. Calm down.” Y/N stood up from the couch seething.

“Calm down? Are you fucking serious? I am so busy Harry. I have a company to run and the wedding of the year to plan. Have you seen these tabloids? I am so sick of all of them asking whether or not I’m having a baby because I seem to have ‘gained a little weight’ lately. I’m asking you to do one thing and you can’t even do that. What have you done to help me Harry? I am so sick of you.”

“Oh my god Y/N what the hell is wrong with you? It’s our wedding, it’s not the hunger games. No one is dying if it isn’t perfect. I don’t understand why you-” The doorbell rang, silencing the both of them.

Y/N stalked over to the door and wrenched it open.

“My baby!” Y/N spat out a mouthful of blonde hair as she was brought into a bone-crushing hug.

“I’ve missed you so much! And a wedding? When Harry called me last week to invite me, I just couldn’t believe it!” Y/N tugged out of the hug shooting a death glare at her fiance.

“Harry did what?” Lauren Williams beamed at her daughter, oblivious to the tension in the room.

“He invited me to the wedding honey.” She repeated patiently. Lauren moved around to give Harry a hug.

“I can’t wait to help you with everything sweetie. Have you chosen a dress? Can I see? What about flowers? Because they can be hard to-”

“Mom,” Y/N said through gritted teeth. “I just need to have a quick chat with Harry ok?”

Y/N dragged Harry to the spare bedroom down the hall to make sure Lauren couldn’t hear them.

“Ok what the fuck Harry? I specifically told you I didn’t want her here!” Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I thought it would be better for you guys to sort out your issues before the wedding but it seems like we have some stuff to work out ourselves.” Y/N huffed before crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah? No kidding. This is another example of you not listening. You don’t make an effort Harry and it drives me insane since I’m here fighting for this wedding. For us.” Harry snapped.

“Well if it’s so difficult for you then maybe we should call off the wedding! This clearly isn't working for us anymore! He yelled.

Y/N’s mouth snapped shut, her anger replaced with sadness. Her eyes glistened with tears and her bottom lip trembled.

“Are you… serious?” She asked quietly. “You just want to give up on us?” Because of an argument?” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, his frustration evident.

“One argument? All we do is argue! I haven’t had a single conversation with you that hasn’t ended with one of us screaming in the last 2 weeks. I don’t know what you want from me Y/N! I’m trying. I swear to god I’m fucking trying.”

“So is that what we’re doing then? Calling it off?”

“No Y/N I didn’t mean that. I just-”

“No, you made it pretty clear what you meant.” She let the tears fall freely now, dodging around him to get through the door, grabbing her purse off the table ignoring the confused look from her mother.

“Y/N, come back! We can work this out.”

“I have to get out of here Harry.” She rushes out onto the street, tears clouding her vision, her one goal being to get to her car. She doesn’t hear Harry screaming her name until it’s too late. The car hits her just as she looks up, but she’s unconscious before she can even feel the pain.

A/N: 🫠

Taglist:

@lukesaprince @intimacywithceline @styleslover-1994

#harry styles #hslot #love on tour #harrystyles #harry styles ceo #harry styles angst #harry styles writing #harry styles fics #harry styles au #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles fanfic rec

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apollosgiftofprophecy · 3 months

Text

The Copollogism Essays - Part 2: The Assassination Scene

Part 1 (The Tent) ~ Part 2 (The Assassination) ~ Part 3 (Lester's Reaction) ~ Part 4 (Leo's Questions/Seeing Commodus Again) ~ Part 5 (The Arena) ~ Part 6 (The Waystation) ~ Part 7 (The Yacht) ~ Part 8 (The Final Moment)

Analysis: Part 1 (Apollo and Commodus as Individuals) ~ Part 2 (Toxic Relationship?) ~ Part 3 (Codependent - Or Is It?) ~ Part 4 (Other Thoughts)

Oh ho ho ho. Here it is. The One You Have Been Waiting For.

A little personal background–

This was the scene that I remembered that made me pick the Trials of Apollo books back up last year.

It was this scene that brought me back into the fandom.

Everyone say thank you to this scene because it is a masterpiece and I sure damn well hope I do it justice.

Anyway. Let us begin~

I KNOW WHAT YOU are thinking. But, Apollo! You are divine! You cannot commit murder. Any death you cause is the will of the gods and entirely beyond reproach. It would be an honor if you killed me! I like the way you think, good reader. It’s true I had laid waste to whole cities with my fiery arrows. I had inflicted countless plagues upon humanity. Once Artemis and I slew a family of twelve because their mama said something bad about our mama. The nerve! None of that did I consider murder.

None of that, none of the deaths Apollo has caused, did he consider murder.

But Commodus’s he does.

This has always stuck out to me, even when I first read the books.

The praetorian prefect Laetus had pulled me aside only an hour ago: We failed at lunch. This is our last chance. We can take him, but only with your help. Marcia, Commodus’s mistress, had wept as she tugged at my arm. He will kill us all. He will destroy Rome. You know what must be done! They were right. I’d seen the list of names—the enemies real or imagined whom Commodus intended to execute tomorrow. Marcia and Laetus were at the top of the list, followed by senators, noblemen, and several priests in the temple of Apollo Sosianus.

Something that was pointed out by @amiti-art was how Apollo’s priests were set to be killed. This is baffling for a couple reasons: 1) Apollo is well known to deliver terrible punishments onto those who even treat his priests with disrespect (Agamemnon in The Iliad got a nice plague for his disrespect); and 2) Why would Commodus do this? Why would he specifically kill Apollo’s priests?

I suggested it could be a way to “get his attention” so to speak. Because remember, in Part 1, we know Apollo left after Marcus has died. And now, Commodus is deep into his paranoia and lashing out at everyone and everything he perceives as a threat.

Perhaps something triggered him to think the priests were some sort of threat, or maybe he’s so far in his delusions that he thinks he can have everything be “fixed” if he draws Apollo back to him. As we saw in Part 1, Commodus looked to Apollo first at the news of Marcus’s death— maybe even now, he’s trying to rebuild that bridge because everything’s falling apart.

If so…he did not think it through 😬 I mean… *eyes the plague Agamemnon got; Clytemnestra being killed by her own son for murdering Cassandra* yeah…things don’t end well for those who mess with the people in Apollo’s cult.

I pushed open the bronze doors of the emperor’s chambers. From the shadows, Commodus bellowed, “GO AWAY!” A bronze pitcher sailed past my head, slamming into the wall with such force it cracked the mosaic tiles. “Hello to you, too,” I said. “I never did like that fresco.”

*wheeze from alder* I get the feeling there was very casual banter in their relationship lol

Commodus knelt on the floor, clinging to the side of a sofa for support. In the opulence of the bedchamber with its silk curtains, gilded furniture, and colorfully frescoed walls, the emperor looked out of place—like a beggar pulled from some Suburra alley. His eyes were wild. His beard glistened with spittle. Vomit and blood spattered his plain white tunic, which wasn’t surprising considering his mistress and prefect had poisoned his wine at lunch.

This whole paragraph really gives you a glimpse into Commodus’s mindset, even if we don’t see his thoughts. He is quite literally at his wit’s end. His mistress and prefect have just tried to assassinate him. Everyone is against him. He is completely alone; no father, no lover.

Except Narcissus.

But if you could look past that, Commodus hadn’t changed much since he was eighteen, lounging in his campaign tent in the Danubian Forest. He was thirty-one now, but the years had barely touched him. To the horror of Rome’s fashionistas, he had grown his hair out long and had a shaggy beard to resemble his idol, Hercules. Otherwise he was the picture of manly Roman perfection. One might almost have thought he was an immortal god, as he so often claimed to be.

Not very important but short-haired teenaged Commodus canon 👍

Sike, this can be important because it is INTERESTING that Commodus deviates from the traditional Roman culture here. He grows his hair out, as well as a beard. Roman men didn’t typically do that.

But you know who does?

Greek men. Such as Heracles (which is why Commodus does so.)

I find this VERRRYYY interesting, especially paired with his relationship with Apollo. Because if you look at Commodus…he’s not very Roman, no? I’d say he’s more Greek-flavored than Roman.

Because here’s the deal: Besides the longer hair, Commodus (historically, at least) also liked to sing and dance. That was 100% accepted for men to do in Greece, but in Rome?

Rome had a very convoluted attitude towards singing and dancing. It was essentially “oh the upper class OBVIOUSLY can get SUPERB teachers for it, but if they're TOO GOOD AT IT they are NO BETTER THAN A WOMAN OR A SLAVE!!!!”

The kicker here is that the Greeks were typically slaves within Rome. They were regularly hired by the Roman elite to perform music and dances.

(Interesting how Apollo is their god, too.)

Out of all the Romans, out of the Roman elite…Apollo falls in love with the most Greek one he can find.

What’s even better is that Commodus continues the trend of ‘Apollo’s lovers are related to his domains’ because of music and dance.

That is what they bonded over. You bet Apollo made Commodus feel better over what he liked doing when the society he lived in looked down on it.

My poor, precious heart 🥲

“They tried to kill me,” he snarled. “I know it was them! I won’t die. I’ll show them all!” My heart ached to see him this way. Only yesterday, I’d been so hopeful. We’d practiced fighting techniques all afternoon. Strong and confident, he’d wrestled me to the ground and would have broken my neck if I’d been a regular mortal. After he let me up, we’d spent the rest of the day laughing and talking as we used to in the old days. Not that he knew my true identity, but still… disguised as Narcissus, I was sure I could restore the emperor’s good humor, eventually rekindle the embers of the glorious young man I’d once known. And yet this morning, he’d woken up more bloodthirsty and manic than ever.

Ouch. Owie. This hurts.

Time to discuss Apollo’s disguise now.

Narcissus, now, was a real person. But it appears in the RRverse, Narcissus was Apollo the whole time. And Apollo’s goal here was to, and I quote; “restore the emperor’s good humor [and] eventually rekindle the embers of the glorious young man I’d once known.”

Apollo initially disguised himself because he wanted to stop Commodus from going down his bloody, awful path. Apollo had been keeping such a close watch on what was happening that he knew things were getting bad enough to warrant his interference, with the hope of steering his former lover away from a dark fate.

*insert ‘I can fix him!’ meme here* ah, Apollo. If only you could RIP

Also wow, Commous wrestled Apollo— Apollo, who beat Ares in a wrestling match— to the ground? And would have broken his neck if he were mortal?

I’m guessing Apollo was holding back here, considering…well, considering the ending of this scene heh. But I doubt Apollo was a slouch even holding back, so Commodus is probably very good at hand-to-hand combat. Sheer brute force is exactly his style.

I approached cautiously, as if he were a wounded animal. “You won’t die from the poison. You’re much too strong for that.” “Exactly!” He pulled himself up on the couch, his knuckles white with effort. “I’ll feel better tomorrow, as soon as I behead those traitors!” “Perhaps it would be better to rest for a few days,” I suggested. “Take some time to recuperate and reflect.” “REFLECT?” He winced from the pain. “I don’t need to reflect, Narcissus. I will kill them and hire new advisors. You, perhaps? You want the job?”

It’s really telling how much Commodus trusts Apollo— that is to say, Narcissus— here.

It’s also telling how Apollo— his lover— is using his father’s words to get him to stop.

Marcus Aurelius’s advice is coming out of Apollo’s mouth, but Commodus has no idea; he does not know it’s Apollo telling him this.

Not until it’s too late, that is. When it’s revealed once and for all that he has no intention of stopping.

But it does make you wonder what Commodus would have done if he had known it was Apollo. Would the combined might of his father’s advice and his lover be enough to prevent him from killing more innocent people?

Or would it have only made things worse?

I did not know whether to laugh or cry. While Commodus concentrated on his beloved games, he turned the powers of state over to prefects and cronies… all of whom tended to have a very short life expectancy. “I’m just a personal trainer,” I said. “Who cares? I will make you a nobleman! You will rule Commodiana!” I flinched at the name. Outside the palace, no one accepted the emperor’s rechristening of Rome. The citizens refused to call themselves Commodians. The legions were furious that they were now known as Commodianae. Commodus’s crazy proclamations had been the final straw for his long-suffering advisors. “Please, Caesar,” I implored him. “A rest from the executions and the games. Time to heal. Time to consider the consequences.” He bared his teeth, his lips specked with blood. “Don’t you start too! You sound like my father. I’m done thinking about consequences!”

Apollo is once again putting on his Marcus Aurelius hat.

But once again…Commodus does not listen. He’s done listening to wise counsel. He’s done doing what other people have told him to do.

He’s emperor, after all.

Nobody can stop him. He’s blessed, after all. Who would even try?

My spirits collapsed. I knew what would happen in the coming days. Commodus would survive the poisoning. He would order a ruthless purge of his enemies. The city would be decorated with heads on pikes. Crucifixions would line the Via Appia. My priests would die. Half the senate would perish. Rome itself, the bastion of the Olympian gods, would be shaken to its core. And Commodus would still be assassinated…just a few weeks or months later, in some other fashion. I inclined my head in submission. “Of course, Caesar. May I draw you a bath?”

Read no further if you wish for a happy ending 😢

Commodus grunted assent. “I should get out of these filthy clothes.” As I often did for him after our workout sessions, I filled his great marble bath with steaming rose-scented water. I helped him out of his soiled tunic and eased him into the tub. For a moment, he relaxed and closed his eyes. I recalled how he looked sleeping beside me when we were teens. I remembered his easy laugh as we raced through the woods, and the way his face scrunched up adorably when I bounced grapes off his nose.

Their relationship was more carefree in nature. It was more teenager-esque, with Apollo even saying “when we were teens”, despite the fact he is merely a teen in body.

Even so…

I sponged away the spittle and blood from his beard. I gently washed his face. Then I closed my hands around his neck. “I’m sorry.” I pushed his head underwater and began to squeeze.

Apollo begins with gentleness. With cleaning him off. He doesn’t immediately kill him— perhaps to give both of them one last moment of peace.

But then that gentleness turns to murder.

Commodus was strong. Even in his weakened state, he thrashed and fought. I had to channel my godly might to keep him submerged, and in doing so, I must have revealed my true nature to him. He went still, his blue eyes wide with surprise and betrayal. He could not speak, but he mouthed the words: You. Blessed. Me.

Apollo is forced to reveal himself in all his glory— and in that moment, they are both aware of his betrayal. Commodus is floored by what he sees— by who he sees.

This isn’t merely his trainer who he has grown to trust.

This is his lover who he has loved for decades.

The lover who blessed and reassured him that everything would be fine.

But it’s not.

Apollo’s the one with the hands around his throat, and all Commodus can do is throw his promise back in his face: You. Blessed. Me.

*and this is the moment everyone knew: they started bawling*

Tissues, anyone?

The accusation forced a sob from my throat. The day his father died, I had promised Commodus: You will always have my blessings. Now I was ending his reign. I was interfering in mortal affairs—not just to save lives, or to save Rome, but because I could not stand to see my beautiful Commodus die by anyone else’s hands.

And even at the end, we can still see the toxicity that permeates their relationship.

Commodus took Apollo’s love and support for granted. He thought he could do anything he wished because he had the love and blessing of a god.

Apollo loved Commodus so much that he couldn’t stand the thought of someone else killing him. He could have kept his own hands clean of the kill, but he did not.

Because he wouldn’t be able to bear it to allow someone else to do the deed.

His last breath bubbled through the whiskers of his beard. I hunched over him, crying, my hands around his throat, until the bathwater cooled.

Even after Commodus is dead and gone, Apollo stays sitting there. Crying. He is utterly distraught by what he has done, and will continue to torment himself over it.

Perhaps even for eternity.

Britomartis was wrong. I didn’t fear water. I simply couldn’t look at the surface of any pool without imagining Commodus’s face, stung with betrayal, staring up at me.

That, my friends, is how you write an ending. That is how you write a tragic, doomed romance.

This is the deepest romance in all of Rick’s books. And we’ve only gotten through the flashback scenes.

We— and Rick— are merely getting warmed up.

#ramblings of an oracle #copollo #toa meta #toa analysis #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #pjo apollo #toa apollo #toa commodos #apollodus #apollo x commodus #toa #pjo hoo toa

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