#maybe I'm seeing star wars through the lens of life

[farfartothewestofeverywhere]

Star Wars has always been about fighting fascism but it just feels so real now.

[staticofthetv]

Take two!

Favourite frames from the new B-Side chapter, featuring some analysis because I have coherent thoughts this time 'round :D

Beware, spoilers below for the B-Side as well as the manga

@veiled-bird that goes for you too, you're nowhere near meeting this guy yet

First up, I love this chapters art. It reminds me of when I was little and asking my dad to help my brother and I beat the last level of episode 3 in lego star wars tcs

Also the chapter title? I have so many thoughts, they'll be discussed more in depth further down but they will be discussed /pos

Numbers weapon 1 mention!! I'm very excited to (hopefully) get more lore about it. Although I am curious if it's like a contact lens or something, I thought it was closer to a surgical implant or maybe some weird side effect from using numbers weapon 1. Mostly because I don't think he's been drawn with normal eyes yet in the manga (at least from what I remember)

Either way very much hoping we get some more numbers weapon 1 lore in this :)

This whole scene but specifically "what good does a test proving I'm abnormal do" hits so hard, especially as someone diagnosed with ADHD in my late teens. Having that feeling of there's something wrong with me for so long and being brushed off every time because I didn't act like the stereotypical 10 year old boy with severe ADHD (a psychiatrist literally told me and my mum i probably had adhd but she wouldnt diagnose me,) I did start to kind of give up on ever figuring it out.

Narumi was incredibly relatable to me in the main manga (not because I'm a badass, I'm very lame lmao) because of the behaviours he exhibits, hyperfocusing on games, constant dopamine seeking (through videogames and online shopping,) needing to be fiddling with something to better process the information being given out, etc.

Narumi is also incredibly smart, its stated explicitly that he got top scores in the entrance exam and I can't imagine those tests are anywhere near easy. It gives neurodivergent kid being told they just need to apply themselves to do better in school/make friends/just function in a neurotypical way in general.

This also comes from his being kicked out of several orphanages, and then even after joining the defence force (especially after being told by Isao that they take anyone that can show skills and results) getting kicked out by the second division and every platoon in the first until he ends up under hasegawa. Considering the title too this is 100% supposed to read as the classic "troubled kid" (many of which are neurodivergent) that not many are willing to put effort into helping. Isao is giving him a way out of the life of having no home to go back to, only to be struck with the threat of getting kicked out once again a year later. Narumi is a very skilled and capable fighter and no one in their right mind would argue with that and it once again all comes down to being labelled as too difficult, hard to work with, never paying attention

This chapter just hits so close to home with me

Baby Mina!! I know there's a decent amount if it in the manga but it's still weird to see her with short hair. I love her so much

There are many more words of appreciation I have but all thought went into dissecting Narumi's character lol

And so being kicked around by hasegawa begins

I love his face here, top tier expression

And here we see Isao solidifying the thought of skill and results being all that matters, there's no way Isao was going to let Narumi get kicked out, especially not after showing aptitude for handling numbers weapon 1. I like to think at this point he does also care for Narumi, I think he sees a lot of Kikoru (or what she could be) in him and especially he sees himself in Narumi. And even though he's only ranked captain Isao would clearly fight to keep Narumi on the force (he probably already had to for Narumi to get transferred to the first division instead of just being dropped when he didn't mesh with the second)

This is also the beginning of Isao and Narumi's mentor/mentee relationship, Isao knows exactly how to handle Narumi and his child prodigy-ness and help him reach his potential as a defence force officer. I think that's part of why Isao shows little care for how Narumi handles himself when off duty, it may be that he knows he can't change Narumi in that way, it may be that he himself just doesn't care for all the professional decorum, either way Isao plays the very important role of being Narumi's main support while he's in the defence force (until Isao dies anyway, whoops.) Narumi needed a space where he could not only be himself but be accepted for it and have the trust of his peers and superiors that he would get the job done when he needs to, and whether it was on purpose or not Isao provided exactly that for him.

This also ties back into the earlier ramble about Narumi being the typical undiagnosed neurodivergent "troubled kid"

(Also the origin of what Narumi says to Kikoru ~9 years in the future :D)

Omg jaeger is canon? Kaiju no. 8 and pacific rim crossover when? /j

Another interesting tidbit about Narumi is his self confidence, he knows he's capable and isn't afraid to tell people that. He says playing support is annoying but what I see is someone that knows he can do better placed somewhere else and has decided to take that into his own hands. He won't get kicked out of the defense force but I wouldn't be surprised if he gets into a shit ton of trouble for taking Isao's words to heart and disregarding his orders, even though I do think he'll be an asset to the battle and perform better being closer to the front lines.

Poor hasegawa has his work cut out for him keeping Narumi in check (a captain and vice-captain match made in hell)

[romulanspeeddating]

I've been listening to the FRLG credits music way too much recently. Far too much rambling about it under the cut.

It's hard to express the emotional impact music can have on you, because it is something personal to you. The best way to describe the emotions it instills would be the music itself, so if the music doesn't have the effect on someone else then they're not going to get it. Trying to put it into words would be like telling them about a dream you had; it has no first-hand meaning to them. Plus there's the fact that it isn't the music itself that makes me feel a certain way but the memories and concepts I associate with the music. If I had never played a Pokemon game and heard it I wouldn't think anything of it.

None of the other generations' credits music have as memorable a melody as the original. Even though I'm certain I would have heard the GSC and possibly even the RSE endings before the RBY/FRLG one.

My earliest memory of playing a Pokémon game was playing Blue on an emulator and my heart was beating really hard as I got to Lance in the Pokémon league. It was the furthest I'd got so far, and I'm pretty sure I lost to him. I'm not sure I ever beat that game. So I don't remember the first time I heard the end credits music. However I do remember staying up into the wee hours of the morning to watch (and play?) the finale of Twitch Plays Pokémon live. I took a screenshot of the "THE END" screen and named it "memory.png" because of how much fun I had following the stream. Then a couple of months later (pretty much exactly 10 years ago from today) I was back from my year in America and was working a temp job at my university over summer. I was living in a dormitory and since it was summer there weren't any other people there. It was the first time I'd lived alone in my life. And at one point while I was living there I listened to the end credits music and just started crying. I have no idea what exactly I was crying about, but the music combined with the fact that I didn't have to worry about people hearing me through the walls and asking if I'm okay is what brought it on. And I was crying for hours, until I fell asleep.

I don't tend to feel strong emotions, but one thing that can get me is catharsis. The end credits music as a fanfare already makes you feel relief that the struggle it took to become a Pokémon champion is over, but it's bittersweet because the adventure was the point; that was the fun part. Unless you're going for 100% completion that's where the game ends. The FRLG version is superior in my opinion. It has some buildup as if the player has a sigh of relief after the big battles that just happened until it hits them that they actually did it, and the fanfare washes over them. The visuals then show them going on a victory lap around Kanto, showing all the places they've been before they return home. The reason it's longer is most likely more people having worked on the game and more storage space on the cartridge, but whatever the reason they adapted the original well.

Now, sometimes when I engage with an early piece of media in a franchise that has had many sequels I try to look at it through the lens of all the later things not existing in canon yet. For example in Star Wars, Darth Vader not being Luke's father and Yoda not existing yet. Anyway in the original Pokémon games we're only seeing the world through the eyes of a 10 year old, it's possible that what we see isn't the extent of the Pokémon world. Maybe there are hospitals for humans and some form of government, we just don't see them because our character isn't concerned with them, for example. Maybe leaving home to go on an adventure isn't standard and it's unique to these kids from Pallet Town because it's something Professor Oak arranged for them. He's an academic and it makes no sense that he would make a Pokémon encyclopedia that is completely blank despite him being an expert in the field. The Pokédex is like a bird watching book where you cross off ones you see as you go. It's an educational game. Going to each gym to get a badge is like getting a stamp or sticker, like a scavenger hunt or something you'd do in scouts. What I'm getting at here is that beating the Pokémon league might not be some ticket to stardom like it's depicted in the anime, what if it's just one of the goals of this self-guided field trip Professor Oak has organised for our hero? Now that it's over they're going home to continue their life as a child in this small town. The victory lap they're taking isn't just a victory lap, it's taking a final chance to visit all these amazing places while they still have the freedom to do so. I'm sure we all have some specific memories of periods in our childhood that were particularly meaningful to us and I don't doubt that in this headcanon I've just constructed that Red or Leaf would absolutely consider their Pokémon adventure to be one of the best experiences of their childhood. And the credits music makes me think that: this was the best part of your life, it's good that it's happened, but it's over now nonetheless. I certainly remember getting emotional and crying at the end of our culture festival in my final year at school since there would be no more singing competitions, no more cheekily playing Mario Kart DS from the stands, no more competing against the other school houses for nothing but the honour of having won the festival. Those are the kinds of feelings it brings back to me.

[cosmicrhetoric]

tagged by the incomparable @briarhips to post nine book recs <3 sorry so many of these are classics im going thru smth

Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen: This is MY Austen of choice. I'm doing a reread atm and it's very Emma in it's social commentary but this is THEE eldest daughter book of all time. Maybe I just like when characters are super repressed but if you want to see a woman (who has spent 200 pages being soooo hinged) have the most cathartic breakdown about it......

Identitti, Mithu Sanyal: For fans of Kuang's Yellowface who want a bit more of an academic lens! Our main character, a 2nd gen Indian-German woman, spends years of her life in the trenches of postcolonial study under a seemingly Indian woman who is then exposed as white. It doesn't give you any easy answers but it provides a lot of scholarly resources and leaves a lot of space to come to your own conclusions. Read it on a plane. Kinda fire.

Eros the Bittersweet, Anne Carson: We all know Carson. But I'm picking a nonfiction essay instead of Autobiography of Red or her translations mostly because this one takes you behind the curtain of a lot of her famous translations when it comes to the aspect of love. I'm not really nonfiction girl in general but this was worth it

Chain Gang All Stars, Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah: Speculative abolitionist fiction! Set in a near future where prisoners can compete in death matches to try and win their freedom. I've honestly read nothing like this...ever, like it's in a league of it's own but if you're a fan of the way footnotes were used in something like Babel you're gonna wanna check this out. Multiple povs (really interesting pov switching from a craft perspective actually) overlap to paint a stark and realistic depiction of American prisons.

The Devourers, Indrapramit Das: This was described to me as "IWTV but with werewolves and in Mughal India and actually really good" and while that's a pretty comprehensive plot summary it does not even begin to cover the shit this novel goes through. This is a book about transformation and stories and what letting a story live in you can do for you. The werewolves are kinda obviously a genderqueer allegory as well (as they often are in sff lmao) but when the interviewer himself starts talking about gender in his experiences you can see how that changes the story he's transcribing and it's just very cool. Heavy trigger warnings on this one though. Don't read if you can't handle a bit of piss (they are wolves). Writing style wise feels very similar to the magical realism of The Hungry Tide if that's ur bag

The Mill on the Floss, George Eliot: In the way that s&s is my Austen, this is MY Eliot. A classic story about women of this era who cannot fit into the boxes society lays out for them. A failed romance brands the main character an outcast in their town in a way that is. Hear me out. Fucking Utenaesque. Follow for some classic tragedy and themes of water....I would compare this more with like Dickens Bleak House than Austen though.

Villette, Charlotte Bronte: Once again. MY Bronte. Maybe it's just cause I read this before Jane Eyre but literally I do not understand why Miss Eyre gets so much more love than my girl Lucy. In broad strokes the story is about an English girl who ends up having to support herself by moving to France and becoming an English teacher at a girls boarding school. She's also plagued by a terrifying apparition of a nun, because this is Charlotte we're talking about and there's a bit of Catholic v Protestant thing going on. I read this during the very early pandemic and let me tell you some of the descriptions of isolation and loneliness are soooooo. yeah.

Monstrous Regiment, Terry Pratchett: Listen. Like, listen. It's that good. I wouldn't put a discworld novel up against fucking chain gang all stars unless it was THAT good. This is a classic 'girl dresses up as a boy and goes to war to find her brother' story. It definitely started as a commentary on folk songs/stories but it is at it's heart a novel long criticism of imperialism, nationalism, and organized religion (there's jokes though it's funny). Also not to be that guy when it comes to LGBTQ book recs but the thing came out in 2002 and it's surprisingly thoughtful when it comes to both gender and sexuality. You do not have to be a fantasy fan or a discworld fan to read this. If you gave Pratchett a try and didn't like it i STILL insist you give MR a shot. It is in a league of it's own.

Wives and Daughters, Elizabeth Gaskell: Do not be scared off by the sheer length of this one. It's fucking silly. This is one of my faaaaaaaave 1800s novels about class. We have juxtaposition between Molly's family (her father is a gentleman but a working doctor) and the landed gentry but also this divide between the uneducated Squire and his Cambridge bound sons and another one with the 'new money' gentry. There's also quite a lot of early science and anthropology documented in this (Gaskell and Darwin were besties) if that's interesting to you. WARNING: SHE DIED BEFORE SHE FINISHED THIS. ITS LIKE 99% DONE THOUGH

This was a hard list to narrow down but I have to include (at least as honorable mentions): Ling Ma's Severance/Bliss Orange, Cixin Liu's Three Body Problem and the SFF POC anthology New Suns

tagging: @weltonreject @bronskibeet @gaymersrights @orchidreign @brechtian + any and all mutuals i know ive forgotten <3

[ilikereadingactually]

Dry Land

Dry Land by B. Pladek

i'm writing this review on a rainy day, looking out the window at trees that are just starting to bud, which feels like the right mood to invoke while thinking about this book. it has a wistful and melancholy sort of quality that is catnip to me!

this is a quiet book, i think, which is quite a feat for a story set during WWI, and it's combining elements in ways that are interesting to me! there's the history piece, which we're seeing from the perspective of Rand, working in the Forest Service and then drafted into the war. there's his ability to make plants grow, which feels magical but is studied and understood (by Rand and by others) through a science lens. there's his relationships--with his younger sister Greta, with his former-crush-now-best-friend Jonna, with his lover Gabriel--and the ways in which all of those relationships are strained and stretched by Rand's single-mindedness and tendency toward self-sacrifice.

and there's nature. wilderness, or less-than-wilderness; dreamy narratives of plants and trees and the creatures living among them; Rand's intense focus on ecology and understanding his power through it, using his power to restore and improve it. this book poses interesting questions about what the ideal state of nature actually is, how wild it should be, and how to understand the complicated web that makes up an ecosystem. not just the living things, but time, and change, and human interference. it actually reminded me a little bit of The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing, which i reviewed briefly at the start of this blog.

all in all, the story of someone who's a little too inside himself and his own perspective, who places too little value on his own life and has to learn better, really resonated for me. and listen, i have a real weakness for lists of plants with beautiful names, okay?

the deets

how i read it: a physical copy for once! it's a really nice cover, and it was lovely to sit in bed and have the book in my hands to read.

try this if you: have feelings about ecology and conservation, dig a book with just one speculative element, love watching a character hit bottom and climb back out, or find a sideways/distant angle on WWI appealing

maybe not for you if: you need to avoid suicide and suicidal ideation. it's not graphic, but it is a major plot point and happens on the page.

some bits i really liked: so much beautiful prose!

"For the flies," he said. Better wards existed, but Rand had not been able to bring himself to snap the few white pine saplings he'd seen for their juice. All new growth seemed more sacred now, since his secret. "Thanks," said Gabriel, nose wrinkling as Rand held out the cup of fat. More fastidious than the rest of the team, he always rubbed it in like aftershave, almost too thorough to be effective. One night, flushed and stupid, Rand had joked he liked him smelling of bacon. Gabriel had barked with laughter.

---

As he watched, at the tips of his fingers two green nubs pushed up. Their buds opened like white stars. Trembling, Rand shifted his hands to the bole's far side. Touching the soil again, he drew up another trillium, then another, pausing between each to touch their leaves, stems, sepals.

---

Shaking, he dipped his gift like a pen into his thudding heartbeat. He drew, filling it. Then he reached back deep into the marsh.

[sterlester]

#DoctorDonnathon Part 2 - A Tangential Talk On Expectations

    Today is Thursday 2nd November. Tales from the TARDIS debuted yesterday, alongside nearly all of classic Who on iPlayer for the first time, and the latest SFX magazine has really got my excitement bubbling. Not that I haven't been actively counting down to November 23rd all year - I don't have a lot going on clearly. Or maybe Doctor Who just means that much to people. Either way, excitement is going from a consistent simmer towards boiling point. Part of my enthusiasm is driving me to believe there may be more to expect at this #DoctorDonnathon, maybe a recorded message from RTD or a preview of the Blu Ray exclusive conversation between DT and RTD, but I feel I'm getting ahead of myself. This screening will be of Series Four (plus The Runaway Bride), and that is more than enough. 

    I tend to get ahead of myself often. Always anticipating something truly extraordinary out of the ordinary. I went to see the Pixar Orchestra nearly 10 years ago at the Eden Project here in Cornwall, and there was talk of dinosaurs featuring - I interpreted this as possibility of a preview of the music from the then-upcoming The Good Dinosaur, only to be humbled at the visuals of Rex from Toy Story being shown on screen. Likewise with the release of hashtags alongside the public filming of these upcoming specials, I (alongside a few enthusiastic fans) wrongly suspected that on the heels of DT & CT's announcement to expect two hearts and a bowtie to be shared, only for the equally humbling yet intriguing reveals of NPH and YF as players in the episodes. This instinct to hope for the best is not a bad thing, but I'm learning it can lessen the impact of genuine surprises and maybe should be averted. I had a very recent example of this last week.

    One of my other non-Whovian interests is Dungeons and Dragons - I run a Star Wars-themed game and play in a fantasy game regularly (my notes for this campaign just crossed 100,000 words last night!) Part and parcel with this interest is following the adventures of the nerdy voice actors of Critical Role, whose live-streamed ongoing campaigns have lead to the creation of two Amazon animated shows to name but a few of their incredible accomplishments. I was lucky enough to secure tickets for me and my D&D party to see them live in London last week, and the show was amazing. I went in with a great sense of mystery, with no knowledge of the show's content other than knowing the characters and the rough situational context, and was blown away by the story that unravelled before us. But that was not the event that shattered my expectations of the trip - I was walking through London with my friends the day after the show, still reeling from the revelations as we went shopping for jelly beans and trinkets. We'd humoured the idea that we may bump into one of the cast members in the city, being naive little Cornish folk who see everywhere through the lens of Cornish village life where you can't go a minute without being stopped by someone who knows you or your family. So consider our shock when we bumped directly into DM extraordinaire and the incredible player Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray. I thank my lucky stars that not only did my poor navigational skills accidentally put us in the right place at the right time, but also that my best mate was a lot more present and composed that I was. Thankfully the two were humble, generous, kind and simply as wonderful a people as you could hope for, and took the time to talk to us and even offer to have a photo with us. We apologised for inconveniencing them before letting them go (and before we crumpled into a messy pile of sweat and disbelief). 

    This was exactly a week ago as of this writing, and I still genuinely don't believe that it happened. And this is the point of this ramble - I went in with the mildest expectation, humouring the possibility but only in jest, and when the fates aligned and decided to bless me and my friends with a cartoonish accidental bumping into our heroes, the fact it was so unreal and unexpected made it so much more worth it. With that in mind, I need to go into this knowing what to expect. I have seen every episode I'm about to watch on Saturday many, many times. I've thought about this Series so much, holding it as a benchmark for other series' to aspirationally meet and exceed. By expecting more, I feel I will tarnish this experience - and why would I want that when I know how much of a joy it will be to watch with my fellow fans?

    Long story short - I am excited for this month of Who mania, ready to revisit this incredible series in this viewing, and ready to begin this journey as soon as- HOLD ON TOMORROW IS THE 3RD?! OH GOD I NEED TO GET PACKING!!!

Cornish TARDIS #DoctorDonnathon

(Picture from last week bumping into Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray - thank you so much for your kindness, taking the time to speak with us and have a photo! And apologies for my inability to speak or react beyond shaking hands and being completely incoherent.)

[spectral-kitkat]

the "severus versus james" debate kills my joy. why can't both ""sides"" just admit they were all morally questionable as teenagers/(very) young adults? but nooooooo, they're still discussing AD NAUSEAM who was worse and who was better. yeah, it's fun to analyze and discuss characters and their morality and all that, but it has been literally years! surely all that had to be said has been said already! not to mention that both ""sides"" are equally annoying and often wrong: equally willing to disregard "canon" for their own benefit and utterly incapable of being unbiased. there is NOT an true/real/truly objective answer to that question within the books, no matter how much people seems to think there is! if anything, the authorial intent was for us to like (or at the very least understand/empathize with) BOTH. just like harry, who is the narrative's focus and (arguably) its moral compass, at the end of the books. after all, he names his children after both (and wouldn't it have been hilarious if the child's name had been james severus? ((i'd cry) i wonder if people would have then fought that it should have been severus james instead). a lot/most of our opinions about these two characters are entirely dependent on how we have PERSONALLY interpreted what we've read through the lens of our personal preferences/morals/values.

tldr; there is no objectivity in the severus versus james debate and i'm tired of (some many) people pretending there is!

it was so good to take all of that out of my chest! 😬😬😬

anyways: what are some of your marauders hcs?? and, what are your thoughts on regulus?

Sometimes ranting helps 😂😂 even if it is about fictional characters

The whole thing between the Marauders and Snape has been so blown out of proportion by the fandom that so much canon lore/story has been overlooked cause they want it to boil down to “1 side good, 1 side bad”. They forget that characters aren’t just 1 dimensional and can actually have complex story arcs…

Some of my marauders headcanons?

• Lately the big one I have is that some time in the summer before 5th year Remus has a particular bad moon and he comes back to Hogwarts with his cane. He uses one as an adult so it isn’t far fetched to think he might’ve had one in school. I feel like he probably didn’t like using it all that much as a teenager since he thought it was just yet another thing that singled him out.

• I also hc that in 6th year James tells Lily he’s giving up. He can see that he’s made her uncomfortable and that the whole thing with Snape (the ‘mudblood’ incident in SWM) has made him realise he would much rather have her in his life as a friend then not at all. This gives Lily an entire year to get to know him properly before SHE asks HIM out in 7th year

• Peter being the Wizard Chess God of the friend group is another one. I feel like it adds the aspect that he has always been really clever at predicting moves and shows that he is quite the schemer. The marauders (and Gryffindor tower) have a rule that when playing ‘winner-stays-on’ chess, Peter is only allowed 3 back to back games.

My thoughts on Regulus:

I love him! He is my second favourite character in HP behind Remus. The perfect son who eventually turns traitor to his family. He risks everything for his friendship with his house-elf and I can honestly see him joining S.P.E.W if he was still alive during Harry’s years at Hogwarts 😂. For a guy who only got like what maybe a 5 minute mention in the book he managed to stand out in such an amazing way!

I actually based my ipad case off him:

The latin stands for: ‘the stars incline us, they do not bind us’

Which i think just perfectly sums up Regulus in 1 phrase! His whole life the stars (his family - all named after stars) have constantly drilled into his head what it means to be a pureblood and what side he should be on in the upcoming war but when it comes down to it none of those lessons or his upbringing mattered as long as he did what was right!

He is such an interesting character even though he was only a minor one

[kavrillia]

Titles. Ugh.

I've always hated coming up with titles. The first story arc I wrote in the Kavrilliaverse was originally called "Legacy," and the second arc "Heritage." They definitely fit the themes but weren't exciting or original.

After I added a third arc that took place before the other two and kind of mushed it all together into a single novel, I started referring to the whole thing as "Heritage" and gave each part its own title. (Part "zero" became "Passing of the Peacemaker," Legacy became "Vincaran Vendetta," and the original second arc became "Abandonment and Betrayal," "The Battle is Joined," and "Borrowed Birthright." I'm not crazy about the "The Battle is Joined" and may change it someday.)

After awhile I figured I needed a more distinctive title, so I started calling it "Heritage in the Stars." It hinted at the forces of destiny at work (being "written in the stars",) but all it really meant was that the story was in a planet-hopping sci-fi-themed setting. (It's always had a more fantasy feel, but it was originally inspired by War of the Worlds, so space travel was baked into the setting.) Back when I had a personal website with a section for the Kavrilliaverse, I saw that most of the hits I got were from people searching for conspiracy theories about life on Earth being seeded by ancient aliens. Okay then! Not what I meant at all!

Since then I've revised the entire setting drastically, and now everything takes place on the planet Kavrillia. What used to be star systems are now islands and archipelagos. Although the technology level includes high speed rail and videoconferencing, flight has never been invented. Thus the "in the Stars" part is even less relevant than ever.

In my mind I alternate between calling it "Heritage" and "Kavrillia," but the latter term doesn't mean anything to anyone so it wouldn't make a good book title.

This summer I've been mulling over "Heritage of Empire." It abbreviates to H.O.E., which is unfortunate, but I kind of like it otherwise. (Maybe "The Heritage of Empire," for T.H.O.E.?) The existence and history of the Lanarian Empire drives a lot of the conflict in the story.

See, when I was fifteen and first brainstormed all this, I had only the vaguest idea of how problematic real life empires can be. I'm an American of northern European ancestry living in a predominantly white Midwestern community. Imperialism and colonialism were just words from history class. "Empire" and "Empress" sounded cooler and more mature to my ears than "Kingdom" and "Queen." When you're that age, the Rule of Cool is basically all that matters in your writing.

Even then I knew the Lanarian Empire having first contact with a different culture that was at a slight technological disadvantage and then subjugating them was Very Bad, of course, but I handled it clumsily and only on a surface level. (At the time I was more interested in the rift between the rich and poor, which is still a strong theme.)

In the years since I've realized the implications of all this, albeit still through an unavoidable lens of white privilege, and I've adjusted my writing accordingly. The Vincaran culture is a hundred times more fleshed out than it was to begin with, in some ways even more than the Lanarian culture (which, let's face it, is pretty Western with a veneer of fantasy over the top). I have Vincaran POV characters who (gasp!) aren't antagonists. I've also written Empress Vazali to be more self-aware of the fact that she's the figurehead of a political entity that has done some pretty horrible things in the past, and continues to benefit from it. Just as in real life, there are no easy answers, and I don't pretend to have anything profound to say about imperialism, but at least now I acknowledge the issues.

The fact that the Lanarian Empire is, well, an empire is a factor behind almost all the main plot threads:

The main character is the empress, and the power struggle with her brother is a major plot point. What makes a good, responsible ruler? (Hint: It's not strutting around in fancy outfits and ordering people to bring you snacks.) Vazali's arc is also about duty vs personal desires, and the difficulty of being an empathetic, compassionate person in a world that, well, isn't. Ruling an empire with a problematic past doesn't make that balance any easier to find.

Delzeena's early life of poverty isn't exactly due to the empire's existence, but the fact that a sizable chunk of the capital city's population is experiencing homelessness doesn't reflect well on the government.

Xorax's plot arc is a direct result of the empire's oppression. His people are scattered and downtrodden thanks for colonialism, and the fight for independence cost his grandfather his life, sparking the vendetta that controls Xorax's destiny. Sicara's arc, which is closely tied to his, is at least in part about preserving and celebrating their cultural and religious heritage.

Zadie and Abarok's story is tied to the empire's just because she's a military leader and he's a diplomat, but the conflict in their arc is over their relationship, his asexuality, and societal expectations vs. what works for them.

Zalani's is a more minor plot arc, but she's trying to navigate between the two cultures, as she sees good and bad in both. Should she try to bring the good (i.e. feminism) from Lanarian culture into her own, or abandon Vincaran culture to assimilate into the one who has oppressed her people but not her sex?

Still, the shadow of what the Lanarian Empire is and what it has done, for good or ill, looms over the entire story, so "Heritage of Empire" isn't a bad title. I'm not ready to make the switch officially, but it's something I've been mulling over.

[Edited 27 Aug 2023 to add: "Heritage and Empire" is another option. "HAE, how you doin'?"]

[vvitchering]

Hey hey hey Bastille anon back at u but not with a song, I'm back bc I just absolutely love your character studies and I'd love to hear your interpretation of religion guilt with Din, bc one of my favorite quotes is "suffering feels religious if you do it right" and every time I read it I think about our poor boy after the season 2 finale, no pressure to do this one tho

Oh boy buckle up cause I have some opinions about this. 

(Discussion of religion and religious themes to follow, fyi!) 

(First things first, I’m Jewish. So my commentary is going to be through that lens, but you should not take what follows as anything but my own personal interpretations. I do not speak for everyone of my faith/culture! I am just one person with a keyboard. Thanks.)

So I thought about this quote for a while and I have decided that I’m not a fan! Sorry! I don’t like the implication that religion = suffering, or that you’re not performing religion correctly if you’re not suffering while doing so. Ironically it has a very “holier than thou” atheistic vibe to it and that just doesn’t do it for me. Religion, at least in my head, shouldn’t ever be about suffering. It exists, in its purest form, to guide you, not make you suffer. 

But Din is certainly suffering, isn’t he? 

I actually love discussing religion within The Mandalorian. I know NOTHING about how religion plays out within the larger Star Wars universe so forgive me any glaring misinterpretations here. The Mandalorian Creed, as dictated by Din’s tribe, comes across as pretty strict and restrictive to the average viewer. I saw a lot of negativity aimed towards Din’s upholding of his Creed when I first joined the fandom and it always struck me as odd until I realized most people watching this show are probably Christian. 

Through a Jewish lens, I saw a man following a code that helped a broken and scattered people feel united and close to one another. I saw them covering their bodies and their faces in armor not only as a means for survival in a world that would rather see them dead but as a way to strengthen their unity as a people cut off from their homeland and their culture. I saw a tribe of people existing in a world where their brothers and sisters were slaughtered and their bodies stripped of valuables to be shipped off to line the pockets of the empire. 

Like. It’s more than on the nose. The pile of empty helmets Din finds when he returns to his covert’s hideaway was absolutely horrifying to me. This had to have been intentional. But I’m getting slightly off topic here so let’s refocus back on Din, re: religious guilt.

Din doesn’t even think to question his devotion to his Creed until he begins meeting other Mandalorians who inform him that he’s in the minority. That “The Way” he was taught isn’t only not the ONLY Way, but is generally thought of by other members of their culture as “archaic” and “cultish”. I don’t think that is necessarily what starts to sway Din from his path, though. 

I don’t think he really starts to struggle with his beliefs until he’s forced to remove the helmet in episode 15 (I think its 15, I’m too lazy to go and look right now) From what I can gather about his covert’s beliefs, the removal of the helmet renders the wearer “dar’manda”, “a state of not being Mandalorian, one who has lost his identity, his soul”. So taking off the helmet and allowing himself to be seen by other people has stripped Din, in his mind, of his soul. He will no longer be able to join his family and tribe in the Manda after death. 

On the one hand, it’s a testament to how devoted Din is to Grogu that he was willing to forfeit his ticket into his faith’s version of a happy afterlife if it meant his child would be safe. On the other, it leaves him absolutely and completely devastated after he allows Grogu to leave with Luke. He’s just condemned himself to Mando Purgatory for this kid and now he’s alone again. Is there regret? Maybe. Is there anger? Probably! Do I hope we get to see the horrible agonizing immediate aftermath of the scene we leave off of in the season 2 finale? Yes please, I would love to cry some more. 

But it certainly leaves Din in an interesting situation, emotionally and spiritually. He’s already been shown there are other ways to be Mandalorian. His Way seemed distinctly Orthodox to me, a little on the extreme side of things. So maybe he can find guidance and belonging in another kind of Way. I think faith is extremely important to Din. I don’t believe he’d ever consider leaving it or giving it up. It’s a part of him and it’s guided his entire life, from the time he was rescued as a child. In the same way his covert’s Way helped keep them safe and whole, I believe he’ll find a new Way that suits him, even if it means he has to piece one together from the shattered pieces of his old one. 

To sum up: Religion is important to Din. The Mandalorian “Way” represents more than just religious faith; its a culture and a way of life. I don’t believe Din harbors any negativity or guilt in the way this anon is thinking. (Din loosing his Way is a tragedy in and of itself, not a release or an escape from supposed suffering) I do believe he has some soul searching to do and I very much hope that’s a big plot point of S3. I see him adapting his beliefs, but not abandoning them. I see him meeting more of his people, learning about his culture and history, and building something new and meaningful for himself. I want to see him proudly wear the helmet again, not out of any sense of obligation, but out of honor and remembrance (much the way Boba Fett does, actually. But that’s a whoooooole other discussion hahahaha)

[samanthalightning]

She's Got A Date-EoWells X Allen!reader- Part IV

*The GIF is not mine. All rights to the owner*

Part III

Summary: After getting wasted last night, you meet up with Barry and he offered you some advices. Based 1x03

Warnings: None. Just a tad angsty.

***

Extremely groggy, currently having a mind-splitting headache and has the worst case of hungover, it was a miracle that you woke up early— well, thanks to your siren-like alarm. You hate yourself for drinking like a viking and like your liver regenerates like Barry.

Last night was a blur— or at least the part you got home. You blacked out. You have absolutely zero recollection of how you ended up in your bed, in your pyjamas, and your car parked the wrong way. You figured you drank and drove, you might have someone to do with that one. You are so lucky no one caught or Joe would've made sure you won't see the light of day. But everything prior that was still very much intact in your mind. Everything.

You were supposed to meet up with Barry for breakfast today at Jitters. You were headed there anyway for some coffee. It's not far from your apartment, which was nice, because you don't trust yourself with driving hungover as much as driving drunk.

When you arrived at Jitters, Barry was already there. He waved as his eyes caught you entering. You smiled in return. You went to him, put your bag on the floor and took a seat on the stool. Cups of coffee were on the table, it seemed like Barry had already gone through half of his coffee.

"I already ordered for you," he said. "And I got you this ham and cheese sandwich from that bodega." He placed a brown paper bag in front of you.

"Thanks," you mumbled, taking a sip of the coffee. You rummaged through the bag, and took the foil-covered sandwich. It was still warm. Your favorite bodega was all the way downtown. It's a trip to get those treats, which is why you almost never get them. Thank God for Barry and his super speed.

You quickly removed the foil and took a large bite. You groaned happily as you chew. Coffee and greasy sandwich; it was heavenly and bitter. It hits the right spots, it feels as though a part of your soul re-entered your body.

Thank God for Barry and him knowing you so well.

Barry chuckled amusedly at your reaction. "Had some fun last night?" He teased, pointing to your sunglasses covering your eyes.

In your defense, it was very bright outside today.

You rolled your eyes, not that he can see through the lens— or can he? You didn't know. "Just had a few drinks with Iris," you said.

He nodded, half convinced, took a sip of his coffee. "Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm falling apart," he sang in a low voice, but enough for your heightened hearing to hear.

Your head quickly jerked up to him, eyes mortified. "How did you know that?" You whispered. Your thoughts ran wildly. Maybe someone took a video of you drunk as hell, and maybe you're trending on all social media platforms or maybe you became a meme.

He shrugged, pursing his lips. "I don't know, you belted those notes in the streets last night,"

Perplexed, you look at him, and it's like he was waiting for something to click while smirking devilishly. Then it dawned on you. All of those questions you asked earlier were answered. He took you home. Which makes sense why he got these sandwiches for you.

"Oh my God," you groaned, burying your face in your hands, cheeks turned into a dark shade of red. Though, you still remember nothing.

Barry laughed hysterically. He loved teasing you so hard.

"Yeah. You called me last night, begging me to pick you up, because you're too drunk to drive," he said as his laughing ceased. "You both refused to enter the car. You started screaming, giggling like 5-year olds. I was lucky the street was dead."

Oh poor Barry. You can imagine, he must be so embarrassed.

It was a relief that even if you're drunk, you didn't risk driving. Maybe you're not as hopeless as you think you are.

Still, you dwelled in your embarrassment.

"So, who is it?" He asked. You look up to him again, eyebrows furrowed with once again cluelessness and confusion. You had a hunch what he was talking about, but it's always safe to pretend you don't know. It can't hurt them. He looked at you incredulously. "Come on, Y/N. You were talking the whole car ride. About some guy, and how things are so complicated and you were tired of it. I've never seen you like that before—"

"—clearly haven't seen me in a frat party before," you snickered, taking off your glasses.

"I'm serious. What is that about?" He insisted firmly, anticipation and a squint of frustration was evident in his face.

You grimaced, mentally hissing at yourself. You couldn't just zip your mouth and reveal your secret. Might as well announce it.

You messed up. You can lie, but what's the point? He's Barry. If he's anything, that's persistent. He tried breaking in Iron Heights.

"I'm dating someone," you confessed.

Barry blinked, clearly caught off guard with your confession. He expected it, but what surprised him is that you hid it from him. He stuttered for a while, before he was able to form a coherent sentence. "Oh. Okay. What happened?"

You sighed, looking down at the table. You took another bit of your sandwich, taking your time to chew. Contemplating whether to elaborate. It's pretty heavy to unload, you didn't expect telling your brother you're dating someone so secretly. And for sure he won't be able to take it all at once. You have to be vague.

"He—he doesn't want anyone to know we're dating, because there are certain consequences that come with it," you explained. It felt foreign to talk about your love life. For the past 6 months, you kept it all to yourself. The bad, the good. You bottled it up inside.

He raised an eyebrow, concern crossed his features. "And you're comfortable with this?"

"At first. But then it felt restricted and suffocating," you explained.

"Did you talk to him about this?"

You nodded. "Yes. He wasn't very convinced. I honestly don't know what to do," you huffed, slumping your shoulder.

It ain't rocket science to figure how deeply i troubled you. It breaks his heart that his little sister is going through some stuff, and she was going through it alone.

"Talk some more. Be honest of what you're really feeling," you thought was pretty rich and ironic coming from him. "You're part of this relationship as much as he is. You have a say in this, and if you don't feel like this isn't working out for you, then maybe you shouldn't be in it at all."

His words hit you like a brick— thousands of bricks hitting you all at once, if you're being accurate. It hurts, because it was right. It hurts, because it deeply matters. You felt the sting in your heart, your jaw tightened. You don't want to think about it, but he's got a point.

Barry was worried with your lack of response, as you think deeply in the distance. "I'm not saying break up with him, okay? I'm just saying this is something you should really talk about and consider. You can't bottle it all up." He doesn't want to screw up his sister's love life or push her to do something that might hurt her, but not exactly disregarding the advice he made.

When he's not being a total dork, he's pretty wise.

You pressed your lips is a hard line, taking it all in. "I know," you murmured.

You weren't able to say anything after that. So did he. It was some heavy weight of emotional stuff to unload to your brother. Your hungover was gone, and who knew these kinds of talks are better than coffee and grease.

Barry decided to break the silence. "This explains so much," he laughed and so did you. You weren't pretty subtle. "Do I know him?" He quirked an eyebrow.

You hesitated, but it's not like Wells' is the first that will come to his mind. Gradually, you nodded. "Yes. But I'm not gonna say who!"

"He isn't someone like Oliver Queen, right?" He half-joked, but deep inside he meant it.

You almost spat your drink. "No!"

Barry went to the precinct, and you headed to S.T.A.R Labs.

You tried to act as normal as possible, even though what Barry said deeply affected you. Thank God Caitlin arrived before you, so you wouldn't have to deal with interactions with him.

You couldn't still believe how much emotion you felt last night; how intense it is. You minded it, but you didn't think you would actually get drunk about it. You have no idea how to deal with it, and if it's the right time to deal with it. You can't go on and help your brother save the city, while your mind is filled with thoughts about him.

Right now, you choose the city.

As soon as Cisco arrived, which wasn't very long, you worked on finishing the pipeline.

It wasn't easy though, you worked on the same thing, be in the same room, act like you didn't get hammered because of him last night. Every time you spare him a glance, and he would look back and he would smile, having no idea what you were going through, it would break your heart just a little bit more. Each minute that you let your feelings be unknown, Barry's words sink into you furthermore. But it occurred to you that the reasons why it was hard were also the reasons why you should keep it together.

The prison was done before lunch. He and Cisco worked over-overtime last night, so there wasn't really much to do, but set it up. It came up together well; durable, functional. The cells slightly look like pods, and given Francisco Ramon's obsession with Star Wars, it makes sense. The test run will happen when 'The Mist' is captured, since Barry doesn't want to participate. But rest assured, you and Cisco worked on it very hard to make sure it works.

Now with the biggest task done, the only thing left to do is go through a bunch of workload and have lunch.

"Hey, Caitlin and I are gonna grab lunch, wanna come?" Cisco asked, putting his coat on. "It's that new place that serves amazing cheap steaks and burgers,"

You realized that the place he was talking about was the very restaurant that you told Wells.

You shook your head. "No, you guys go. I already ordered some food." You smiled, declining.

"Okay, your lost. That place is amazing," he elaborated, clearly pleased with the place. It's Cisco, though. And food.

You snorted, turning your eyes back to the computer. "As I heard," you murmured underneath your breath with a tinge of bitterness, as Cisco strided out of the cortex.

On the bright side, someone from this place already went there. But much to your dismay, it wasn't you.

Your phone dinged. You picked it up to check, and it's what you have been waiting for. The delivery guy is right outside the lab. You quickly headed down to pick it up. You gave the delivery guy some tip, before excitedly went back inside.

You were salivating when the intoxicating smell of Chinese food filled your nostrils.

When you got up, Wells was there. He took a waft of the take-out foods. "Is that from Mann-Lee?" His eyes lit up in recognition. He was the one who introduced you to the restaurant. He said it's the only Chinese place he likes, because it tasted like the food he had in Shanghai. Of course, he's been to China.

You nodded, placing it on the desk. You quickly took out every box of food in the bag, and dug into your chow mein happily and satisfied, not bothering to take a seat.

"Did you order some for me?" He asked.

Unable to speak due to your mouth being filled with noodles and potstickers, you nodded. "It's in the box," he chuckled at your attempt to speak.

He helped himself and rummaged inside the bag's remaining contents. Upon opening one, his face fell, seemingly disappointed. He opened another box only to be disappointed again. He was looking for something specific. Your wonder started to grow, watching him.

He turned to you, and you raised an eyebrow. "Did you order some of their Beef Broccoli?"

"No. Did you want that?" You inquired.

"Yeah." He forced a half-smile, waving his fingers dismissively. "It's okay. I'm fine with Kung Pao Chicken; it's decent enough,"

For some reason, your mood soured. Decent in Harrison Wells' vocabulary means it's not good enough; he doesn't hate it, but he doesn't love either. You felt bad that you didn't know what he actually likes, but in your defense, he never says, and he lets you eat it. He never complained.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't like it," you said. You didn't want to watch him suffer eating something he doesn't like while you enjoy your own lunch.

"No, it's fine," he assured you.

"No, Harry. I mean it— you don't have to eat it," you insisted with more vigor in your tone.

He ignored you, and took a bite of the chicken. You scoffed in disbelief, frustration fueled in your chest. You want to stop him as he continues eating, but you decided against it. It's too petty to get angry about, not worth it.

You eat your lunch in peace, every time you turn to Wells, he would wince every now and then when he takes a bite. You don't know what about Kung Pao Chicken he doesn't like, but he doesn't just like it. You tried to let him go through it, but you're starting to get annoyed. And of course, you couldn't stop yourself.

"Okay, stop," you suddenly spoke, putting your food aside. "You don't have to eat, you don't like it." You tried to grab the food out of his grasp, but he swerved swiftly.

"Y/N, I said it's fine!" Wells said, displeased at your attempt to take his food away.

"It's not! You don't look fine— you don't like it!" Your voice rose a little.

He exhaled audibly. "It's just food,"

"I know it's just Kung Pao Chicken that I ordered that you don't like, so just admit it and stop eating!" You spat.

He scoffed in disbelief. "What is wrong with you? I am eating it!"

"But that's the point!" You snapped loudly. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do— you never do!"

Realizing what you've said, you shut your eyes. Your hands flew to each side of your head, fingers weaved through your hair, tugging on them. You needed to calm down and take breath, and be rational. The last you want to do is do something reckless and irrational.

"Is there something wrong?" He questioned firmly.

You mentally grimaced at the question. It was a stupid question; it's basically screaming at his face. "Nothing," you muttered.

Of course he didn't buy it. You weren't exactly selling it well. Or at all.

"It's something. You're enraged over food," You don't honestly know how he can keep his tone down, but it was evident he was agitated. You hate it so much right now.

You sighed wearily, refusing to face him. Afraid of what might happen if you do.

"Let it go, Wells," you pleaded through your gritted teeth and clenched jaw.

"No. I'm not gonna stop until this is settled. Tell me, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

He continued on, pushing you to speak. The idea of unloading all of your hidden burdens entered your mind, but you don't have the emotional capacity to face the fact that this is taking a toll on you. You tried to hold your ground, but his voice overwhelmed you.

You pushed your chair back, getting on your feet and facing him.

"Everything is wrong, Harrison!" You shouted, your voice boomed inside. Wells almost flinched. "Everything is wrong with us!"

Wells shook his head, baffled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't take this any longer,"

"Can't take what?"

"This—" you gestured to you and him. "—This arrangement we made!"

Wells sighed, distressed, catching on what you were saying. "I thought you were okay with this,"

You chewed on your bottom lip, as you folded your arms across your chest. When you spoke, your voice dropped into a whisper; you couldn't control it. "I thought so too. Then last night, Iris vented out to me." You paused. You struggled to keep it together, now pressing your tightly folded arms on your chest. You continued. "They were having problems, same as us. I gave her some insights about everything, and then I realized that's how I feel!"

The underlying problem he thought he got handled was more intense than he thought. Time was running, you couldn't pick more of an impeccable timing, and the team could waltz in anytime while you were having this fight. He couldn't afford anyone finding out about it.

He took off his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Y/N, this is not the time for this," he said.

You snorted, your anger erupted in your veins. You were tired of avoiding the elephant in the room.

"When is the perfect time? When it's too late? When we break up?" You didn't want to say it, but it was at the tip of your tongue, waiting to be asked ever since you realized it.

His expression hardened. You already see the gears working. "Y/N, don't go there," he murmured, not glancing up to you.

"Why?" Your voice cracked into an almost sob. That was it. The tears found their way and pool at the rim of your eyes. "I tried to make myself believe that I understand, but I couldn't help but think that maybe you're scared that if things don't work out you won't have to deal with other people, thinking that you slept with a 24-year old girl."

Soon, every emotion you were feeling last night came rushing back to you; the confusion, the anger, the love and the pain— towards him and yourself. It seeped, not only to your heart, but through your very bones and weary soul. All too soon it became overwhelming, your chest tightening, your stomach knotting, struggling to keep it at bay.

Thinking it was one thing, but saying was a whole new realm of pain you didn't know you existed, let alone capable of feeling.

He glanced up to you, eyes staring into you meaningfully. "I would never think that. I made so many enemies, Y/N. Before and after the accelerator exploded. The last thing those people want is to see me happy and that puts you in danger," he reasoned.

You tried to steady your shaky voice. "I know. But your reasons and your excuses, they won't matter in the long run. The press, Joe, our friends, my brother— everything they say won't matter to me, because they're not the ones who loves you like I do, and they're not the one in a relationship with you." You told him, staring back, before turning away, as they threatened to fall.

You inhaled sharply. "I love you, Harrison Wells. And no matter what they say about us or you or me, I'll love you. Damn, you put my brother in a 9-month coma, but I loved you nonetheless!" You pointed your index finger at him in the air.

He let you speak, taking it all, as waiting for you to finish, let it all out and explain his side. And then, you'll be swept off your feet again, as if all of your feelings and thoughts didn't exist in your mind before. Barry was right. You couldn't believe you were getting to this point, but he was right.

"But I don't wanna hide anymore. I want to do more. Be free. If you don't want anyone to know that this relationship is happening, then maybe we shouldn't happen at all," You stated.

You both were silent, the tension was thick and you could cut a knife through it. Suddenly you couldn't move, like all of your energy was drained from your body.

You turned away before you could see his reaction. The pain was unbearable; it's best if you don't see it.

Mustering all the courage and strength you have left and your body, you took a step to leave the room. He tried to stop you by reaching out, but you recoiled, before his fingertips graze your skin.

"Don't,"

You strided out of the cortex, your shoulder straightened, held up high to hold your tears, but every step you take, the control you have dissipates. Slowly, your tears overflowed. You wiped the tears, though it didn't make any difference, your tears fell and fell, soaking your neck. Soon, all hell broke loose, sobs racked your body, your hands flew to your mouth to muffle your voice.

Wells was left with nothing, but the sound of your footsteps received, your muffled sob through the walls; thousands thoughts and emotions, and the weight of your words.

***

My parents are fighting. This one made me genuinely sad. Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you share this and give it some love. Thanks!

Part V

[pandora15]

speaking of the kenobi show is there something you'd love to see them do or would not want to see? what are your expectations/hopes for it in general if you're up for discussing that? love your writing btw. i've read most of your stuff and loved it and i'm waiting for keeper of the force to be done to read it (and barely keeping myself from starting now lol) it seems so interesting

Ahh, thank you so much!  It really means a lot :)

As for the Obi-Wan show, years ago I made a post about what I wanted to see from the Obi-Wan movie (back when we all thought it would be a movie), but I think it’s time to refine the list within the lens of a show, and what we do know about it.

Things that I want to see:

Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn

Flashbacks galore!  I think it would be cool to see flashbacks from throughout Obi-Wan’s life, from his early childhood all the way through to the present (yes, this includes the Clone Wars).  We learn about Obi-Wan’s life, but there are just so many holes, and I just want them to be filled in.

Luke being really cute!  I believe the show is supposed to be set 8 years after ROTS, so I feel like Luke would definitely remind Obi-Wan of Anakin, and I want the show to emphasize that.

JAR’KAI OBI-WAN.  USING ANAKIN’S LIGHTSABER.

Obi-Wan has had a really shitty life, and I really want to see him overcoming everything he has gone through.  I want to see him struggle, but then at the end, he finds the way out.  I want to see hope.

Obi-Wan helping out the Rebellion somehow?  Maybe he provides intel from time to time or something, idk.  Though at this point the Rebellion might not be a thing yet, knowing what we do from Star Wars Rebels.

The Force(TM), including Obi-Wan learning how to be a Force Ghost

Owen and Beru - particularly Obi-Wan having some sort of a complex relationship with them.

Visions/Flashbacks of the Clone Wars, Qui-Gon’s death, Vader, Mustafar, just...all of that.

Things I Don’t Want to See:

Okay, so before, I said that I wanted to see Ahsoka and Obi-Wan reunite after ROTS.  THIS IS STILL TRUE.

However, I don’t think I want it to happen in this show, for a few reasons.

From all the rumors we’ve been hearing, it looks like we’ll be getting a whole lot of Ahsoka in the future.  I worry that she’s gonna get really over-saturated really quick.

Besides that, the reunion would not feel like a true, proper reunion if it’s not portrayed by the two actors who played them together in TCW.  So I’d really rather it be done in animated form, with JAT and Ashley (Bad Batch, anyone???), rather than by Ewan and probably Rosario.

But more than that, I really don’t want Obi-Wan to have a new love interest.  Please.

I guess it’s fine if we have mentions/flashbacks of Satine, but I really don’t want to see the show give off the impression that romantic love is the solution to all of the problems Obi-Wan’s going through.  Because it’s obviously not.

Like if they’re trying to “humanize” Obi-Wan (who we already know is very human), they’ve gotta just address his trauma head-on.  Because that in itself would (and does) make him very relatable, imo.

I also really hope we don’t see the show come to a conclusion like “maybe the Jedi were wrong” or something like that.  Like no.

Plot

I still think the story in itself should be really contained.  I am glad that it’s gonna be one season because that’s really all we need.  I would like to see Obi-Wan sort of living his day to day life, coming to terms with what happened, while protecting Luke and being a BAMF.  I would like it to be a really personal story, just because in literally all other media, we see Obi-Wan at a very surface level (except for maybe a few episodes of TCW), and here, I want them to dig deep.

But that’s just me—who knows what we’ll actually get? :)

[im-a-goner-foryou]

Starker Valentine's Day 2019 for the prompt 'first I love you's ', this is also my first songfic so please go easy on me

Love

/lʌv/

Wise men say only fools rush in

Tony Stark doesn't do love. He's a mechanic, through and through-- he sees things as they are, for their practical uses, views the world through a rational lens, and love is something entirely illogical.

Love, as Tony had been taught all those years ago, is something that if he can't help but feel, at least shouldn't be expressed. To wear your emotions on your sleeve is to admit weakness, as Howard had said-- or rather slurred while waving off Tony's attempt at a goodnight hug in favour of pouring himself another glass of bourbon, and after much more similar occurrences the he eventually took his father's words to heart.

It takes a while for Tony to realise otherwise, to go from instinctively recoiling from the look of concern in Rhodey's eyes as he chides "go to sleep Tones, it's late" or a gentle caress of his head from Pepper, to slowly but surely welcoming those silent acts of love; and it takes longer before he begins to reciprocate. Even then he's hesitant, cautious as he takes his first steps and reverting back to his signature snark at the first sign of apathy, the possibility of being hurt.

Tony loves carefully.

But I can't help falling in love with you

Then he meets Peter Parker-- who loves so openly, so easily. And their differences should frighten Tony, yet inexplicably he finds himself drawn to this boy who's much too young to realise that while falling in love may be easy, love itself certainly isn't. It's... a nice change, being around someone so artlessly candid-- maybe, just maybe-- Tony hopes silently to himself, he won't have to hide behind his usual four walled defences this time against such genuine feelings.

Shall I stay?

The first time Peter raises his voice at him is to cry "if you even cared, you'd actually be here," and just like that Tony's taken back to all those years ago, in his MIT graduation gown and around the same age Peter is now; hand clutched tightly around his phone with Howard on the other end while he stood lonesome among celebrating families. That memory stings like a slap would, leaves Tony feeling almost raw-- and when he steps out of his armour there on the rooftop, he feels more vulnerable than he ever has been.

"I just wanted to be like you," the boy whispers quiet enough for his words to be almost blown away with the wind, and it's like a sucker punch to Tony's stomach.

"I wanted you to be better," Tony simply replies Peter-- and himself.

Would it be a sin

Tony feels the beginnings of a wave of butterflies erupting in his stomach as he watches the boy leave the Avengers compound, and he feels sick. Peter's hazel hair glints gold under the sunlight streaming through the panelled windows and curls sweetly around his ears; and Tony has to resist the sudden and overwhelming urge that overtakes him then to run his fingers through those silky locks.

If I can't help falling in love with you?

Peter is sixteen. Tony starts drinking himself to sleep once more, yet the bottles of liquor lying shattered around him and burning bitter at the back of his throat aren't enough to block out the yearning deep in him for the boy, to hold him close and keep him far away at the same time. Tony thinks of bright eyes that crinkle at the edges with laughter and beautiful chocolate-brown pupils, and then one day he just can't deny the feelings he harbours for his young protégé any longer.

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Peter always has been incredibly perceptive; it's likely he found out how Tony felt even before Tony himself. On his seventeenth birthday the man goes all out and is in one of the rare moments in his life grateful for the title 'billionare'-- he flies the both of them out to one of his favourite restaurants in Venice for a comfortable candlelit dinner by the canal; and when Peter dissolves into another one of that giggly laughter at something Tony said, the older man finds himself absolutely enthralled, unable to look away.

He's still staring at those pouty, rosy pink lips and wondering how they would feel against his, when he finds out only seconds later-- Peter makes the first move, leaning forward across their table to press their mouths together so painfully shy and sweet, and Tony--

Some things are meant to be

He kisses back, and feels the last of his fortifications crumble away at the happy little sigh Peter exhales into their joined mouths.

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Tony Stark soon learns about himself that he's really a hopeless fool for love, when it comes to a certain bright boy who easily keeps up with him in the workshop and challenges Tony with his brilliance every day, who reminds him to go to sleep early but also brings him hot chocolate during those particularly dark starless nights and kisses away his tears until they finally fall asleep tangled up together, who's also a dork when it comes to Star Wars and the Avengers, who has a heart filled to the brim and yet still manages to find the capacity, is unafraid to love some more.

It probably was never meant to last, the hurting eight-year-old in Tony reminds him.

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

"There was no other way," Stephen's parting words hang heavy in the still air; dimly Tony wishes the words were the ones disintegrating instead, his knees buckling underneath his weight even before he hears the soft whimper from behind him. No, no, no.

Not you, too.

Peter wastes his last few moments clutching at him desperately, and Tony just wants to cry because there's nothing he can do, and he's never felt so utterly helpless as he does in this moment. "I don't-- I don't know what's happening," the boy rasps, the usual bright undertones of his voice now longer present and only to be replaced with something raw and hurting; it's now does it finally occur to Tony that maybe he's not the only one who puts on a mask.

"I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go..." Peter begs almost childishly, his extreme youth so incredibly obvious now. Tony grips him by the waist, holds him close and cradles him through it, which is the least he can do-- the only thing he can do. The eerie golden light setting across this strange planet casts shadows on those beautiful eyes, swimming with tears as they look at Tony in a way only the boy could.

"I'm sorry," are the last words Peter whispers--why, why?-- before slipping away from Tony's arms and leaving behind a mere empty shell of a broken man.

Tony realises he's never said those three little words to Peter, even though their months together; he never gasped the significance of "I love you" until he thinks he'll never be able to say it.

Take my hand, take my whole life too

"I'm sorry," are the words that replay like a broken recorder in his dying mind, plauging him the most when Tony sits alone on that barren planet and ignores the warning signals from the spaceship that oxygen levels are running low. I'm sorry, too.

But with those oxygen-deprived hallucinations come memories too; of them both dancing in the corner of one of Tony's fancy fundraisers, the boy's arms clinging around his shoulders and head resting on his chest as they sway to the soft music in the background, of Peter falling asleep at the desk after working hard on a particularly difficult assignment and Tony draping a blanket over him, of late drives down the highway in a convertible so Peter's yells of joy fade away into the night, of waking up in the morning to the smell of coffee and the sight of Peter in a flowery pink apron bustling around the kitchen, and Tony walking up to him to whirl him around by a hand on his hip to kiss him soft and sweet.

Through his entire life, there's only one person that Tony's certain he's ever loved the most he could. And now Tony tries his best to bring him back.

It's a long arduous process for sure, but Tony after all, is a mechanic through and through. He fixes the spaceship to send him and Nebula to earth, and he defends it just like he always has-- he fights, mind clinging to thoughts of Peter; just in case he doesn't make it, he wants that endlessly loving gaze to be the last thing he sees.

They win in the end, and bring all the fallen back. Even as Tony stumbles weakly onto his feet he ignores the burning sharp pain at his side, heart racing, eyes already blurring with tears-- though despite them he still manages to catch sight of those chestnut brown wide eyes among the others, and he doesn't hesitate. Tony sprints towards and holds a weeping Peter close to his chest, clutching at him with the intention of never letting go; his heart aches with a feeling that he welcomes readily, croaks into the boy's ear.

"I love you." He fiercely kisses Peter; the boy sobs harder in his arms. "I love you," Tony finally expresses plainly, against the palm pressed reverently against his lips.

For I can't help falling in love with you

And Peter says it back, the way every single part of Tony knew he would. "I love you too."

Love, Tony Stark knows, is illogical. It hurts, and yet people still chase it so eagerly.

But love is worth it.

For I can't help falling in love with you