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f1nalboys · 3 years

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this is my ‘the collector’ live post i’m gonna edit it as i go and post it once i’m done so i don’t bombard y’all

-the mfs in the beginning deserve to die bc who walks around in their pitch black house 🙄

-ew these opening credits….. maybe i just don’t like the music choice but i’m like 😡

-ok so arkin knows the family i guess? idk

-he’s so sexy i want him so bad y’all…… i would FUCK him so god damn hard y’all wouldn’t believe it

-jill shut the actual fuck up PLEASE

-arkin why don’t you come in my box 😝😝 if u get what i’m saying babe

-his wife is kinda sexy hehe

-milf and dilf powercouple

-arkinnnnnn ur a little thief but ur sexy so it’s fine

-the collecter walks like a fruit i know that bc i walk the same

-waiting for the sexy sexy scene of arkin when he gets his face grabbed by asa and he looks breedable

-damnnnn he’s fucking michael up 😭 asa ur a lil monster fr

-15-24-7 everyone remember that ok

-most fucked uo thing asas done so far is breathe in that lady’s face bc i just know his breath is rank as fuck

-not arkin searching through all of the drawers like mf he SAID the bottom one. ur wasting time

-ngl to yall id get the rock and just fuck off there’s no way i’d even try to help these folks 😐 does that make me evil….it’s just like,,,, i can’t help! at all! i’d try but id lowkey just look for a way out 😭 i’d die regardless i guess

-ok maybe id try to help instead of just leaving but idk 🙄

-NOOO THE POIR CAT STUCK IN THE ACID????? WHAT THE FUCK THIS MANS EVIL

-this yalls man fr 🤔

-NOO THE CAT GOT SLICED IN FUCKING HALF I HATE IT HERE

-arkin yelling at the lady while she’s getting tortured LMFAO

-jill avoiding all the traps cuz she’s horny JFJSJDJ

-EW THE WAY HE LIVKED HIS LIPS WATCHING JILL GET FUCKED?,, FREAKAZOID

-there’s sm nipple in this movie

-asa is such a weird little freak LMAO

-THE BEAR TRAPS??? what is wrong w him omg

-arkin just leave babe y’all could not fucking catch me here any longer than that lol

-arkin is too good i don’t give a fuck abt that little girl tbh

-not them electrocuting the wrong guy

-also how tf is asa unable to locate or kill the little girl??? mf how many people have u tortured and kidnapped at this point???????

-RUN ARKIN RUNNNNN

-HES RLLY USING TGE MFS HEAD AS A BATTERING RAM

-r these noises fucking asa screaming??

-HERES TGE SEXY SCENE IF BREEDABLE ARKIN LETS GOOOOOO

-personally i think asa has too much time in hands like how long do y’all think it took to set up all those traps??? my man needs a hobby i think

-he only takes one fr

-sorry it happened to be u sexy arkin lover babe

-IS HE PURRING

-asa furry confirmed????

-i think there r nicer ways to wake him up rather than cutting his forehead asa

-no ass on him that’s why he’s a serial killer

-is he digging out his teeth w the chisel???

-i like the effects on asas eyes

-the way arkin had to be homophobic to get asa to come back and beat him up sir that’s the por calling the kettle black ain’t it

-i mean if asa rlly wanted to fuck him up he could’ve just killed the girl

-or try to get bugs to eat through his stomach, that works to i guess

-asas evil little dogs damn

-arkin let me fix u up babe plssss i’ll take care of u hehehe

-the random noises they put over asa is so weird like what is he doing

-is the dog gotta eat this little girl 😭

-arkin hurry up bitch let’s GO

-this is why i’m a cat person

-HE LIT THE DOG ON FIRE 😧

-the stuffed fake dog was rlly something tho

-isn’t there 2 open windows upstairs? why don’t they go through those???

-HAHAHA he got stabbed by the knife chandelier 😝

-HIS WAILS OF PAIN LFJWJCNWONFKWJDJSJS THATS SO FUNNY

-NOT THE POLICE CAR RUNNING ARKIN OVER COSNCINWIDJE

-wonder what happened to arkin a daughter and gf ex lady

-the added the scream from asa like he’s in the fire or something

-also this little girl has GOT to have extreme ptsd from this

-THE AMBULANCE???? also damn arkin was strapped in tight tryna save the emt

-asa is so extra taking arkin w him like man u could’ve just killed him then and there 🙄

-how tf did he survive the knife thing tho 🤔 if it was anyone else they’d be deadzo…. anyways time to go watch the collection hehe

#the collector #the collector 2009 #asa emory #arkin

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weirdo-with-a-nametag · 3 years

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Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

#mine #long post #snakes #pets #food m #uhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever else needs tagging

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wordsablaze · 4 years

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Ch.12. Blinding Blue

Blue Buttercup Almost like buttercups, it took Jaskier a lot of time and trouble to bloom and find his place in the world, but it wasn’t all so golden… (aka: yennefer was his mother way before he was jaskier)

A/N: i’m a lil behind on crossposting but hey, i fixed the cliffhanger :) @dauntless-hufflepuff-pride @mayastormborn

previous chapter

“Who the hell are you?” Yennefer snarls, instantly on her feet.

Julian whimpers again, clinging to her as if his life depends on it, his arms looped around her neck like some sort of peculiar necklace.

(It’d be her favourite necklace, of course.)

“What, Marcio didn’t mention me?” the man asks with a smirk that, in any other situation, she might simply have killed him for.

“The other mage, of course,” Yennefer mutters, stepping back as he steps down from the ladder so she can half-turn and keep Julian as far away from him as possible.

The man smiles. “Marcio’s better partner, Tymon, at your service.”

Yennefer has a dozen things she could say about his service or lack thereof but she has priorities and the child curled around her is far more important than any kind of satisfaction found in insulting others.

(She’s fleetingly shocked by how quickly Julian has become her priority.)

“What have you done to him?” she asks, her voice steady but cold.

Tymon glances over Julian with a curious smile. “That depends on what he is.”

Yennefer’s eyes narrow. “I’m not here for riddles.”

With a casual hum, Tymon walks over to the desk, chuckling when he sees the mess of her having looked through everything. “You read the journals, didn’t you?”

She frowns, tightening her grip on Julian. “You’ve been toying with things beyond your control, I’m aware. How is that relevant right now?”

The answer is obvious to her even as the words leave her mouth and Tymon must see that on her face because he just laughs, waving a hand and promptly sealing the makeshift door to the room before settling in the chair smugly.

(She hates herself for not connecting the dots sooner.)

Julian hadn’t even needed to touch or eat anything for whatever Tymon has built into the walls to take effect. It’s clever, to bring people or creatures down into a hidden room and slowly weaken them until they can be experimented on, but it’s hurting someone important to her and Yennefer will not stand for it.

“Do you expect me to applaud?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I expect you to hand over the boy.”

Julian sobs into her neck at that and she shakes her head without hesitation, her lips twisting into a snarl as she glowers at Tymon. “Over my dead body.”

She’s not expecting the other mage to try and attack her but she’s ready nonetheless, one hand stretched out in front of her to form a shield before his chaos even reaches them, the spell bouncing off them harmlessly.

Tymon’s jaw clenches as he stands, lifting his hands once again. “He’ll be more useful in my work than he’ll ever be with you!”

(She doesn’t need him to be useful.)

Yennefer just scoffs, one of her hands curling around the back of Julian’s head and gently playing with his hair to distract him from hearing anything Tymon is saying. She steps back again, this time only to brace herself properly, and smiles.

“If you’re ready for death, it’ll be my pleasure to see you off.”

Tymon scowls at her and immediately throws himself into another spell. Having anticipated that, Yennefer throws back one of her own, purple and black colliding in the middle of the room in a burst of almost blinding sparks until they implode, Tymon being thrown backwards into the shelf behind him.

Julian’s hands clench into tiny fists around her hair and Yennefer winces when one of them pulls awkwardly but she doesn’t try to untangle herself, allowing him the comfort of knowing she’s still right beside him.

(Allowing herself the same comfort in return.)

The other mage doesn’t seem to be moving so Yennefer turns back to the trapdoor, knowing that Julian needs to get out if he’s going to survive. If his life wasn’t in danger, she might even have been impressed by the standard of the subtle cage around them.

“No!” Tymon yells from behind her.

She’s too focused on figuring out their exit to notice the objects that fly towards them in time to block them all. Several books, an inkpot, a paperweight, and an empty pitcher slip through her shield, most of them hitting her but something obviously catching Julian because he cries out, his grip on her hair loosening as he starts toppling.

(She’s loath to admit her heart misses a beat.)

Cursing loudly, Yennefer stumbles and uses both arms to catch him, twisting her body as she does and then steadying him against her, tucking him into her chest, both of them breathing heavily.

“You’re wasting your time, only I can open the door again,” Tymon gloats.

Yennefer’s jaw clenches as she turns back to him. “Maybe you haven’t heard of me, I’m Yennefer of Vengerberg and I am far more powerful than the likes of you.”

Adjusting her grip on Julian, she throws a hand out, her chaos hitting Tymon directly above his heart before he can blink. He screams, his knees buckling, and mutters something under his breath that she doesn’t catch.

Though it’s not that hard to figure out what he’s done because Julian screams seconds later, a horrible noise that Yennefer would rather she’d never have known.

(Now she knows why they say ignorance can be bliss.)

“You’re okay, I’ve got you, it’s fine,” she murmurs to a now quiet Julian before turning her attention back to the trapdoor. Unfortunately, Tymon, despite having choked on his own blood and slumped to the ground as a result of his own arrogance, was right: the seal does seem to be linked to his magic.

Yennefer quickly concludes that it’d be far easier to overcome his seal if she had both hands. Gritting her teeth, she keeps one arm firmly wrapped around Julian, who’s worryingly limp at this point, and places her other hand on the trapdoor above them.

And pushes.

The door doesn’t give but she wasn’t really expecting it to so she just pushes with her magic as well as her fingers, stubbornly pressing chaos into the stupid seal even as she feels her knees weakening and beads of sweat rolling down the sides of her face.

(She’d rather die than let Julian do the same.)

She keeps pushing and she’s not sure if she’s actually yelling or just imagining it but just as her vision starts to black out, the seal shatters and the door finally, finally gives, splintering upwards.

Yennefer pants, stumbling up the last few steps and all but collapsing onto the half-dusty rug, Julian lying still on her chest as he goes down with her. It takes her a long moment to even register his presence, her head still pounding and her eyes still ringing, but she pushes herself upright again as soon as she does.

“Julian? Julian, hey, open your eyes,” she whispers furiously, gently shaking his shoulders.

(She definitely doesn’t panic at the sight of his pale face.)

“Come on, little one, that’s it. Open your eyes for me,” she continues, managing a smile as his eyes scrunch up and he groans softly.

He coughs before he follows her instructions, his hands reaching upwards. “Yenny?”

Relief floods into her heart at the sound of his voice and she nods even though he can’t see it, allowing him to curl his fingers around her own. “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

It takes several long moments for him to finally open his eyes and the first thing he does is frantically look around until his gaze settles on her, at which point he grins weakly but still widely enough for her to be sure he’s not dying.

(Never has she appreciated the colour blue so much.)

“Can we go home?” Julian asks her, climbing into her lap with tears shining in his eyes.

Yennefer frowns for a moment, and then frowns again when she realises that he’s referring to her cottage, that he considers home to be with her. She makes a mental note to worry more about that later and nods at him, exhaling softly as feeling finally returns to her exhausted limbs.

“That sounds like a good plan,” she agrees. Julian wraps his limbs around her again in response and without meaning to, she cradles him close, too tired to question how and why she’s become so strongly attached to this random child.

(She's not entirely opposed to be honest.)

sorry if it was lowkey anticlimactic, action is not my friend :p

thanks for reading !! masterlist | witcher blog: @itsjaskier | next chapter

#jaskier #yennefer of vengerberg #hurt jaskier #protective yennefer #good parent yennefer #young jaskier #au #fluff and angst #fanfic #the witcher #my writing #bbu

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #469

“i am hungry for some unrest / i wanna push it beyond a peaceful protest”

Do you have any goats? Can't say I do. Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? No. Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? As a protected species, I'd say a panda. Do you like BBQ sauce? I hate it. Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? No. Does your house have a pool? No. Do you own an iPad? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? A LOT. Many years ago, I was very conservative, now I'm definitely more liberal. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? I'd really love to see great improvements in nature and wildlife conservation. Are you and your SO Facebook official? We're like... half official? He never checks his notifications, EVER, so he hasn't verified our relationship status. Instead, it just says on my profile "in a relationship with ____ (pending)." I don't mind, though. "Facebook official" doesn't mean much to me at all. What matters is that we know. Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? I've swum in them, but I most certainly haven't bathed in one. Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? No. I avoid chips because I'll eat too many. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop for like two months, but keep in mind I was VERY rarely on the schedule, so I probably didn't even work for a week's time in total. Can you drive? I can, but I don't do it well and don't have my license. My permit's even long expired. I plan on forcing myself to practice and get licensed once I get new glasses, though (whenever I can afford that...). Right now I couldn't even pass the vision test. I just have to do it; public transport isn't big here AT ALL, and I can't keep relying on others to get me everywhere. Do you spend too much time online? Way, way too much. Extremely high odds are, if I'm conscious, I'm on the computer. I want to change that so badly and experience other things in life way more regularly, it's just an addiction that has been an issue since I was first exposed to the Internet. Do you like to travel? I barely ever get to do it, but yes, I love it. How did you first notice the last person you kissed? Well, it's kinda hard NOT to subconsciously notice the guy who played the fuckin' huge-ass tuba in band, ha ha. Why will/won’t you and your ex get back together? THE ex, because 1.) I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me, and 2.) because I'd be much too worried he'd leave again if I relapse with my depression badly enough. Do you use the words "I love you" too lightly? Definitely not. Do you like pizza? Legit, are there people who don't like pizza???? Do you use an alarm clock? I use my phone for that. Name something that is currently making you happy. Girt is making me really, really happy. I'm still not happy at my core, but, y'know. A person can't do that, anyway. What do you want for Christmas this year? Stiiiill a 40 gallon for Venus with proper equipment... I need a fucking job. That's going to be my answer possibly past Christmas because I just completely rely on my parents financially. Are you excited for the holidays? Very, except for Thanksgiving. I'm way more hyped for Halloween and Christmas and all it entails than usual. Name one tattoo you would like to get someday. I'll give ya one I don't think I've mentioned. On top of one of my hands, over some sort of fiery graphic, I want "Gefährlich ist wer Schmerzen kennt" (translated to "whoever knows pain is dangerous") written in fine text. It's a lyric from the song "Feuer frei!" by Rammstein that I just find very powerful, and not necessarily in an dark way. Are you afraid of stink bugs? Yes, because they're a form of beetle, which tend to scare me. Do you wear contact lenses? No, but I wish. :/ There are piercings I want that would look stupid with glasses. One of my eyes has such bad vision that I need a weighted contact in it (don't ask me exactly what the difference is), and I could feel it way too clearly in my eye, and it made it heavy. Wearing those contacts did NOT last long; I went back to my glasses. Have you ever danced in the rain? No. What was your last dream about? Astonishingly, I don't remember. Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor's office. Do you feel like you're judged for your looks? Being someone who is by definition obese, I'm certain some people do. Do you fight with your parents a lot? No. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over. Why? I never have been. Do you like hot sauce? Yes. How bored are you right now? Very, very bored. As a side effect of depression, I experience severe anhedonia like... constantly, at least to some degree. No exaggeration. It makes my life a fucking drag. It's why I take surveys so much; the randomness of the questions is at least a momentary distraction. Do you think you would make a good model? Hell no. Even if I was in a physical shape for anyone to be interested in photographing me, I would feel WAY too awkward. Are you a good singer? No. Do the Emergency Alert System noises on TV freak you out? Yes, because I immediately assume it's a tornado warning. Describe your perfect date. Actually I'm planning something for Girt and me hopefully on Halloween (or if he has to work, at least close to) that is like absolutely effin' perfect for me. Carve some pumpkins together, make those Pillsbury Halloween cookies, and binge some spooky movies. :') Do your parents trust you? Yeah. Do you like pot roast? No. Have you ever thought about being a stripper? No. Are you flexible? No. Can you wiggle your nose? Nope. Have you ever played Mario Kart? Yes. My younger sister especially was sooo good at it; she doesn't even play video games and yet she was hooked on it for a while. How often do you go shopping for clothes? Almost never. I really, really need to for undergarments and pants now. Do you have a high IQ? I don't know my IQ, but I very much doubt it. Would you ride a motorcycle if you had the chance? No. They scare me. Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? yessssss Do you like frogs? I love those lil bug-eyed cuties!!! :') Are you afraid of dying? Not massively. I mean yeah, I don't want to die and the fear of the unknown is there, but I really don't think I'm as scared of it as most people. Do you like bananas? Yeah. Where's the last place you've been to out of state? Lake Gaston in Virginia. What are you listening to right now? I'm watching another playthrough of Fatal Frame 3. Gotta say it's probably my favorite that I've seen/played of the franchise now. Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? Mouse, for sure. Do you like steak? Yes. What was the best gift you've ever received? My late dog. Tell me one of your pet peeves. Consistently trying to make conversation with me when I have headphones on. It's a bitchy pet peeve, but a pet peeve nonetheless. Do you like to keep your nails painted? I don't paint my nails or care to. Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? I was a long time ago when I actually watched it. I wouldn't watch it now because I don't support the overly-conservative cast, having followed a couple on Facebook for a time. Have you ever played with Silly Putty? As a kid, for sure. I loved that stuff. Do you take in a lot of caffeine daily? Yes. :x Do you know a lot about history? Definitely not. Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. Would you rather play Xbox or PlayStation? I'm a PlayStation gal. Have you ever worked at a fast food place? No, and I neeeeever would. Hungry people are the worst. Do you like hot tubs? Meh, I have to be in the right mood. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? Not at this current moment. Are you good at doing fractions? NOOOOOOO, or doing ANY kind of math. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No. Would you rather get high or get drunk? I've never experienced either, but probably high. Being drunk is usually synonymous with being sloppy. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? AYEEEEEEEEE I'm the chick to ask! I love the first one, it's brilliant and loyal to the idea of the series but still unique from the original story of the pilot game. The second one is objectively fucking awful story-wise and is SO all over the place, but I can still enjoy it as an obsessed fan of that franchise. Did you ever want to be a doctor? I wanted to be a vet for a long time, if that counts. [TW: SUICIDE] The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? I probably cried some/was teared up to some degree when he visited me in the ER after my overdose. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 1 month? Is this written for a middle schooler? No shit I could, and have in the past on more than one occasion. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Is this the best year of your life? Nooo sir. Can you have more than one best friend? Yeah. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate. ooo: What are your full initials? BMD. Would you ever let your grandma set you up on a blind date? She's dead, but if she wasn't? HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO. Do you ever wonder if you will get in a car accident and die? As someone who is terrified of driving, absolutely. I'm primarily more concerned about becoming paralyzed from the neck down, though. I'd rather die than that. So your ex comes to you and says “I want you back”, what do you say? I'd probably say, "I'm happy to finally be able to say 'no'" or something along those lines. Maybe even just a simple "no." Which was worse for you: freshman year of high school or of college? College. I was so fucking depressed and lost. What is the last language you spoke, other than your first? German. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? Canada, yes, if it didn't mean leaving my family and now boyfriend. What is your favourite food from your culture? Burgers. @_@ Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? Britt. If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan. I found her on Facebook before and sent her two messages over the past something years, but she never responded. It's frustrating, like I was so close to reuniting with her, but not close enough. Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair. Have you ever been to a nursing home? Yes, with my mother to visit someone.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''unnatural selection'' by muse

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bangtansfavwriter · 5 years

Text

🌷taehyung having a crush on you🌷

(it had to be a gif w tannie ☺️💜)

-you're oblivious to the fact he's crushing on you bc he actually hides it pretty well (he wouldn't even blush or anything around you so it was actually pretty hard to figure it out, it was like a running gag between you and him that you'd make him blush one day, he was always like "you won't catch me blushing, ever" and you were like "we'll see about that posh spice")

-tbh when u guys first met, he was really reserved and took quite a while to open up to you

-he had this noir vibe when you first got to know him and he was quite the starer

- he was intimidating for sure, but the more you got to know him you saw that he's an absolute sweetheart

-now he's definitely brighter around you, smiles a lot and is more goofy

- will touch you a lot, he'll do it subtly though... you'll start to experience what a big effect a small touch can have

- makes time for you despite his busy schedule, hanging out with you is actually balancing for him and this is actually insanely fascinating for him, bc he tries to understand how it's possible that everything hectic in his life disappears as soon as he's together with you

-he's always dressed to the nines, even his casual attire is chicer than half of your wardrobe tbh

-very responsible, will help you get shit done and always has your back

-you once had trouble with your landlord bc this grumpy old fart really had the nerve to raise your rent when he didn't even bother fixing issues you've raised a complaint about

-taehyung listened to your rant while you were talking with a friend on the phone

-he asked some questions about your landlord after, it seemed pretty random to you and you didn't think about it much

-anyway, the issues in your flat were solved within 2 weeks and your landlord informed you that there will be no raise after all + he looked pretty nervous

- you asked him what made him change his mind and he just did the v pose

(you: , landlord: isn't this what youngsters do? hah..ha... *laughs nervously and leaves*, you: ???????)

-you told taehyung about the whole thing

you: i swear this man is on crack or something, he looks paranoid as hell lately

taehyung: yeah.... it must be .... the crack........ (😌)

-honestly he's your rock, he's forgetful sometimes but you still can always rely on him, no matter the weather

-sometimes taehyung can't express his thoughts properly but he can always count on you to understand what he wants to say.. he was quite baffled about that at first, but then you explained to him how the vibes of a person can sometimes say far more than words can express and that and that you would always understand his heart and, my dear, was the first time he wanted to kiss you

-he would ask you all sorts of questions bc he'd just love to hear you talk and learn about the way you think

- and he grew more and more comfortable around you, so his walls slowly crumbled around you with each joke you made and each secret you've shared with him

-and whenever he spoke about his dreams and future plans he included you like it was something completely natural and you could feel your heart race whenever he said something about this

-will take you the his favourite spots in the city and tell you his about his favourite memories he made there

-you guys would also go on long walks together, btw you meeting yeontan was one of the best days of his life tbh and this fluffy lil fella also loved you so much that tae was like "...are you kidding?" but he secretly loved it and filmed you with tannie very very often

-also, one time he left tannie in your care bc he was busy and he wasn't able to leave him with his parents on short notice... tae had spare keys to your flat anyway, so you just told him to come to yours whenever he was done

-and so he did and... he clutched his chest and was like "have mercy with my heart" because you and yeontan were cuddled together on your bed and fast asleep

-and tae stood there at your bedroom's door frame with the biggest smile on his face and tried so hard not to squeal bc this was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen, so he did what he had to do and took a picture of you two and then layed down next to you and fell asleep

-the next morning, you woke up to yeontan trampling over your chest and then hopping off the bed

-you closed your eyes again but you could still hear light snores next to you, so you turned around you were face to face with taehyung.... who's still so damn handsome that it's almost unfair bc you were pretty sure you probably drooled at some point... but he was still taking your breath away even with his slightly puffy face and messy hair

-you traced your fingers along his jawline and looked at him, thinking how lucky you must be... he snuck into your bed and now you were laying there, on a rainy morning.. like a couple that also happened to have the cutest dog

-you were caught by surprise when his eyes fluttered open and he looked at you, grinned and said "good morning' with his deep morning voice that made you all giddy... "I let myself in, I hope you don't mind..." and, sufficient to say, you did not, obviously. "tannie and you... looked pretty comfy, I wanted to join. oh, and would you mind continuing that?" he took your hand and put it to back to his face, but not without gently kissing the tip of your fingers. You smiled at him, cupped his cheek and caressed it. He slid his hands beneath your shirt and slowly pulled you closed to him, you hugged him and nestled your head against his chest. You were laying there with your legs intertwined and the only thing you heard was taehyung's rapid heart beat and the rain dribbling on your window, a moment which was the closest thing to bliss... a moment that was interrupted by his phone going off and yeontan appearing out off nowhere, jumping on the bed and running over you. taehyung groaned and grabbed his phone, as you giggled and took yeontan in your arms and cuddled him when taehyung had get up. you knew by his apologetic look that this was work and that your moment of bliss was now officially over.

-taehyung was equally upset about this, both didn't try to show the other but yeah, both of you loved the moment you shared and hated the fact that it was cut short bc bangtan had to do a re-recording

-taehyung left yeontan in your care again since you had the weekend off and promised to be back as soon as possible, to take continue where you left off. he was back at 1:28 am & drunk off his ass, turns out the boys insisted on going for drinks to celebrate that they were done with the songs and taehyung couldn't say no

-yeontan fell asleep after the 3rd walk you took him on and didn't even wake up when tae started making all that noise when he was back.

-tae's went straight for your bed and crashed there. His phone rang and you picked up after seeing it was namjoon, who got an earful from you bc you were pretty sure they didn't wanna deal with drunk tae and left him in your care, but namjoon sincerely explained to you that tae almost FOUGHT jin and yoongi when they wanted to take him to the dorms and that tae insisted on going to your place bc he had "important business" to do

you: tf is that supposed to mean?

nj: he said you need to talk things out or something. or tell you something? well, speaking is involved, idk and idc, im not too sober myself, so good night~

-maybe it was the sleep deprivation making you all mush-brained... but what if.... what if tae wanted to confess? after your cuddly morning it probably wouldn't be too far off to assume that, or would it?

-you laughed at yourself and went back to bed, where taehyung had hogged your duvet, so you got out another one and layed down.. taehyung tossed and turned, sighed and mumbled something

-drunk as he was, you didn't think much of it, apart from that, you were almost asleep, but he lifted himself from the bed and said your name

you: what is it, tae ?

him: I need to confess something

you: *suddenly wide awake* 👀👂

him: .... I.... I forgot to buy anchovies *falls back asleep*

you: KIM TAEHYUNG

him: ...huh?? what????

you: is that the important thing you had to tell me? the thing you told namjoon about??

-he turned around and looked at you with wide eyes, he, too was suddenly wide awake and from the look on his face you knew that this was in fact not about anchovies... "We'll talk tomorrow, when I'm sober again." ... you knew he was right, but curiosity has gotten the better of you. you agreed, but it took both of you quite a while to fall asleep again.

-you woke up the next morning, only to find the other half of your bed empty

-after throwing your pillow across the room, you got up, feeling a mixture of sadness, disappointment and anger

-he took yeontan with him too and didn't leave you a note nor a message explaining why he left

-you took a long shower, then got dressed and just as you were about to make breakfast... your front door opened and tae came in, with yeontan on a leash in one hand and a bag from your favourite bakery in the other

-you stared at him, completely bedazzled for a second but then glared at him, which took him by surprise. he smiled nervously... "what the hell, taehyung?" you said angrily, but deep down you were so damn relieved he was back. "We went for a walk and then I went to buy your favourites, since you always get up around this time" he said, while taking tannie's leash off, and smiled. "What did you think, hm?" - "well, I certainly didn't expect you to deal so well, looking at how you came in last night." - "oh you learn a thing or two when you're a performer" the two of you laughed and he knew he's off the hook. you started cutting fruits and he quickly joined you after he washed his hands. "so about that important thing from last night", he began and looked at you with a smile, as your cheeks blushed almost instantly, "I really wanted to make this right because this isn't something I want to do when I'm drunk. I think you understand that, right?". You tried very hard to hide go keep a straight face, but you couldn't hide your smile. Taehyung giggled. "Look at me..." he said with a husky tone that excited you even more. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow and smiled, as you knew what was coming and he smiled because you knew.

💕

epilogue

-you had noticed he put the pic of you and yeontan sleeping as his screensaver-

you: nice screensaver btw 👀

tae: *tries to keep his cool.. blushes v hard*

you: OH MY GOD

tae: STOP

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orange-waterfalls · 5 years

Text

Say It Back(Part 1/2)

Host x gender neutral!reader

@thekillingjoke-haha ty for the request!

Part 2

A/N: BRO I FUCKIN LOVE THIS ONE. I was on a writer's block and then CAVETOWN MY LORD AND SAVIOR apparently made a song called "Sweet Tooth". I took a lil bit of inspiration from the chorus(hence, the title). You took inspiration from a song, so did I lol. It took me a bit to find the mood for the story, but once I found it I couldn't stop lol. So. Two-parter. Uh a bit of cursing, Rated T. Slight angst for a minute. The names I used are not people I actually know, they're from a random name generator website. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.0k

Requests are open!

The Host stares at them from across the room.

Well… less ‘stares’ and more ‘keeps his head facing their general direction’. Even so.

They are beautiful. Even with the loss of his sight, he knew they were beautiful. On the inside, at least. He smiles in content as he hears their angelic laugh from across the room. Bing is making jokes again. The Host might’ve been jealous if he were a lesser man and if he weren’t so focused on how their happiness made him happy.

He doesn’t very much understand what he is experiencing. He’d seen movies, he’d read books, he’d listened to songs. He knows what love is. He knows it well.

What it feels like, however, was a completely different ballgame.

Host more focused on his work than on romance. Besides, he just doesn’t like people. He wanted to fall in love at times, but he just couldn’t.

Y/N on the other hand makes him… feel things. He’s not sure if it’s love, he just knows he really enjoys everything they do.

He doesn’t even care that they barely talk to him anymore.

Well… he cares, obviously, but…

You understand, don’t you? Good.

“Host? Hooost. Host!” A voice calls from his side. He hums in response. Bim rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair. “Have you been listening to me for the past ten minutes?”

“No,” Host answers flatly. Bim smiles when he looks over to where Host was facing.

"So you've finally realized you have a crush?" He teased. Host raises his eyebrows.

"Finally?"

"Oh, yeah. We’ve known this, Host, it's really obvious." Host furrows his eyebrows.

"We? What does Bim mean by ‘we’?" They hear footsteps and turn towards the front.

Y/N standing in front of the two, a small, awkward smile on their face.

"Hey," Y/N greets softly. The Host is frozen in place.

"Hey!" Bim says, a wicked grin on his face as he sees the effect on Host. "Didya need something?"

"Yeah, um… Bing told me to ask you where Wilford would be…"

"Oh, well I know nothing about Wilford. I don't think anyone does," Bim explained. “But Host here knows everything, so…” Host turned to Bim angrily. He turns back to Y/N when he hears them clear their throat.

“So, uh, Host?” They ask. Host has to keep himself from shivering at the sound of his name.

“Hm?”

“Where is Wilford?”

“W-Wilford is d-down th-the hall… uh, t-to th-the right f-from the b-bathroom…” Host stutters out, voice cracking once or twice. Y/N smiles and nods in thanks before remembering Host is, in fact, blind.

“Uh, thank you…” They laugh, embarrassed. Host tries to give a small smile. His face isn’t used to that yet, so he settles for a nod. They walk away, and he increasingly becomes more sad and more embarrassed as their footsteps fade away.

“Wow,” Bim laughs, “For a narrator, you can’t talk very well, can you?”

“That is not true, the Host can talk very well…” He pauses, “When he is not around Y/N…”

“Oh, so it’s just them, huh?”

“Yes, they very much affect Host and he isn’t quite sure he likes it…” Bim smiles at Host. “What is the problem with Bim Trimmer?”

“There’s no problem, Host, I’m just happy for you!”

“Why would Bim be happy that Host cannot speak correctly?”

“Because you’re in love, dumbass!” Host would have found the insult very… well… insulting if he hadn’t become distracted by the previous phrase.

‘Because you’re in love’. Was Host in love? He wasn’t sure what that felt like.

There was Serena Munoz in kindergarten. They dated for a couple days. She didn’t like how he read constantly, and decided to break up with him. Host wasn’t in love with Serena. He wasn’t even sure he had a crush on her. Maybe he dated her just because she asked. It didn’t affect him when they broke up.

Then there was Jesse Snow in the sixth grade. He was nice. Trumpet player in the band. They liked to read together in the library at lunch and after school. They recommended books to each other and even wrote a couple stories together. They sat next to each other in math and passed notes in cryptography so the teacher wouldn’t understand. They would, though. But Jesse was scared. Two boys dating in middle school? Not the best for his image. He probably got teased or called gay(which he was) and that’s why they broke up. He liked Jesse. He was sad when they stopped talking. But he didn’t think that was love. It was more of a ‘like’ than anything.

Then Asa Holmes in his senior year of highschool. They were really different. They had blue hair, but he could see the natural-brown in the roots. They wore a lot of black and spikes and chains. They listened to punk rock and heavy metal. Host liked the heavy metal more, so they listened to that more often. They did homework together at Asa’s house, and Asa would start dancing halfway through and it kind of annoyed Host, but he also found it endearing. Then they graduated and promised to keep in touch, but Asa just… couldn’t. Host understood, and they stopped. He was disappointed, but he wasn’t in love with them.

Is this what love feels like? Is it a weird feeling in your stomach when you look at this one person? Is it your heart racing when you see them laugh? Is it hyperventilating when they come over to talk to you? Is that what love is?

Oh.

Oh no.

Host is in love.

Y/N had managed to weasel their way into the dark and lonely place in his soul and fill it with hope and joy and love.

And, oh, how he absolutely loves you.

And what the hell is he supposed to do about that?

“Uh, Host?” Bim calls after 20 minutes of silence from the writer. “Are uh… are you okay?”

“No,” Host answers instantly.

“Uh… why not?”

“Because… Host is in love…” Bim is quiet for a second and Host worries he’s gone Deaf as well. But Bim lets out a loud laugh that startles Host.

“Bing! Get your ass over here, you owe me $30!” Bim yells. Bing groans and drags his feet over to them, mumbling as he takes the money out of his wallet. Host begins to zone out, all the noise around him fading into nothing.

Host was… in love. What was he to do? Tell Y/N? No… he couldn’t. They might hate him. They might think he’s awful. They might stop being around him completely. He couldn’t handle that.

So, what was he to do?

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Bim asks, as if reading Hosts mind. “You’ve got to tell them of course.”

“No.”

“No?” Bim scoffs, “Wha do you mean, ‘no’? You have to tell them, Host!”

“Hos does not have to do anything. Host is content with watching from afar.” Host explains. There’s a pause.

“That’s goddamn creepy, Host,” Bim states. Host frowns. It is a bit creepy.

“Host cannot tell them,” He whispers. Bim, finally seeming to understand, sighs and leans forward.

“Look, Host, I know you’re scared. I know this is unfamiliar territory for you, but…” Bim starts. Host leans a bit towards him, wanting to hear what he has to say. He may treat the man like he’s annoying, but ultimately, Host cares about his opinion. Bim sighs again.

“If you don’t tell them, you’re going to regret it. Trust me I know…” Bim pauses, and Host begins wondering who hurt him. “But, these are your feelings, Host! You can’t keep them bottled up inside you forever. It’s unhealthy. You need to tell them and if they like you back, great! If they don’t, that’s too bad, watch ‘Dirty Dancing’ on repeat and eat a tub of ice cream like the rest of us.” Host tilts his head a bit.

“Host cannot exactly watch--”

“Oh, you know what I meant, smartass!” Bim laughs and Host smiles. He does know what Bim meant, and he undrstands. He just needs to say it. How would he say it?

‘Hi. I like you. Say it back.’

That’s a bit too forward.

But forward is what Host does. It’s who he is, he can’t change that.

He’ll just say that to them when they come back.

Y/N walks back into the room where Bim and Host are. They’re wearing different shoes, he can tell. Are they wearing different clothes as well? Why would they be?

Wait…

“Wow, hey Y/N! Who you dressing all nice for?” Illinois says from somewhere else in the room. Host is pale. He doesn’t want to know.

“Well,” Y/N chuckles, “I’m glad you asked!”

No.

No, no, no.

“I’m actually going out for lunch.”

“Really? With who?”

Stop.

Stop!

“It’s ‘whom’.”

“Fuck you, Google. Y/N, spill.”

Don’t.

Please, don’t.

“I’m going out on a date!” They finally finish. The room is completely silent. Not that Host would hear anything with the ringing in his ears.

He felt bad. He felt so bad. He hated this… feeling. He was so upset.

“Well, don’t all talk at once…” Y/N jokes awkwardly. Bim finally decides to take pity on them.

“Wow! Didn’t know you had it in you!” He teased. “Congrats!” The other egos joined in in a chorus of congradulatory phrases. Host was silent.

“Well, I better go. Wish me luck!” They said, practically bouncing out the door. Everyone said goodbye to them, and the door finally closed. Host could feel everyone’s eyes on him. They all knew. The all knew. And he didn’t until he was too late to do anything.

Typical of him.

“Host…” Bim starts. Before he can say anything else, Host shoots up and makes a beeline for the bathroom. No one calls after him, no one tries to stop him, no one does anything, He is grateful for that. He just wants to sit and wallow, and that’s exactly what he plans to do.

Host heard a soft knock on the door.

“Host?” Bim asks quietly. “Host, it’s Bim. Are you okay?”

“No,” Host whispers. “Host is not okay. Why would Host be okay?”

“Well, uh… you’ve just… been in there a while. I figured you’d have gotten a bit better…”

“Host has not.”

“Oh…”

Silence for a moment, and Host thinks Bim will leave. No matter how much he may try to seem cold, he does enjoy the man’s company.

“Don’t worry. I’m still here.”

Host lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Bim?” He hears the other man shift so he is sitting out side the bathroom door.

“Yeah, Host?”

“Do you think Host is worthy of love?”

“Yes.” Bim said immediately. Host waited for an explanation. He got none. He supposed that’s just how it works. Sometimes you don’t get an explanation.

“Bim?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think that Y/N could be in love with Host?”

“I think… you shouldn’t bet on it.” Host’s shoulders fall. “But, I also think that there is a possibility and you should tell them soon before they fall in love with someone else.” Host brought his head up. Bim was right.

Y/N was going on a date. Presumably, their first date with this person. Dates are used to figure out if someone is in love, or gives an oppurtunity for someone to fall in love. There was still time. He still has time.

Host swings the bathroom door open and Bim hits his head on the floor.

“Ow! Dammit, Host!” He cursed. Host couldn’t feel bad. Not now.

“Host needs help.”

“With what?” Host turns towards Bim, who pulled himself to his feet.

“With getting Y/N to fall in love with me.” Host heard nothing for a second. Then, a chuckle from the gameshow host.

“Alright,” He sighs, “What do you wanna do?”

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razberryyum · 5 years

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 5 (spoilers for everything)

[covers MDZS chaps 14 – 17, and kinda 117, aka bonus chap Incense Burner Part 1, lmfao]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

(a 🐰 is earned every time there is a WangXian scene or even when they’re just thinking of each other…more than one 🐰 can be given based on the level of WangXian-ness in a scene)

Of course I loved every single moment of Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s time in the library pavilion, but I wanted to give a little love to their waterbourne abyss adventure first, in particular the moment above, which always makes me laugh, especially since everyone around them was within earshot to hear what Wei Ying was saying. What made the scene even funnier was Jiang Cheng’s exasperated interjection—the guy was probably sick of Wei Ying’s flirting by now—followed by Wei Ying’s snappy response. I just loved the way he said shut up, which served as yet another reminder of the great voice performance provided by Liu Zhixing-laozi, who always makes Wei Ying sound completely adorable because of the way he delivers his lines.

I wish the show had a bigger budget to handle that Caiyi night hunt since it could have been so much better, as exemplified by the way their water adventure was depicted in the donghua. I thought the water ghouls had an interesting design; as CGI effect goes, they were actually one of the better ones in the show, but then everything else kind of fell short. After watching the donghua’s version of these scenes, I found the action portion of the water ghouls hunt even more lacking; I especially missed seeing Wei Ying’s awesome sword surfing. Still, what it lacked in fight choreography and CGI efficiency, it made up for in WangXian-ness (with a touch of ChengQing to boot)—Big Bro Xichen was probably quite proud of himself for pulling off yet another match-making scheme successfully—so ultimately, I found the whole hunt pretty enjoyable.

The Library Pavilion

I can’t imagine anyone who ships WangXian would dislike anything that took place in the Library Pavilion, so I’m no different. I loved every second of Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s interactions in that room, I really don’t have anything more I can say that hasn’t already been mentioned and repeated by everyone else, so I’ll just keep it simple and say bless the production team for sneaking in gay porn…

…and also for keeping in what was most likely a blooper of Xiao Zhan tripping on his way out as if it was something Wei Ying meant to do in the scene:

By the way, after reading the novel, I can’t help but think about that super smutty Incense Burner chapter now every time I watch this scene and then I would giggle uncontrollably like a stupid crazy person.

ChengQing? YES please

This episode gave us the birth of a new ship—Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing, or ChengQing—and I could not be more happy about it. This development was not from the novel, and just seeing how freaking adorable a lovestruck Jiang Cheng was made me absolutely grateful that Team CQL decided to add it into the show. Every moment between Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing was cuteness to me, especially how bashful he would be within her vicinity. When she tried to examine his wound on the boat, his blushing virgin reaction was just too precious for words. I loved seeing this shy, innocent and boyish side of Jiang Cheng: it made me love his character even more. Although now, considering what has happened, seeing him buy that comb, which is supposed to be a gift representing yearning, only makes my heart hurt like crazy for the poor guy, while also making me wish the show had followed through even more with their romance so that the two of them could have at least enjoyed some happiness before everything was all over.

There was also a time in the beginning, when I first watched this episode, that I actually worried that the writers of The Untamed were trying to develop a love triangle between Wei Ying/Wen Qing/Jiang Cheng, which would’ve been really stupid and unnecessary; thank goodness that didn’t end up to be the case. As if Jiang Cheng really needed another reason to be bitter or resentful about Wei Ying…that kind of trope would’ve just been pointless noise so I’m relieved the show didn’t choose that dull path.

Wei Ying Continues to Burrow His Way Into Lan Zhan’s Psyche

Exhibit A:

They were only in the Library Pavilion for a few days (even though in the book it was at least a month) but already Lan Zhan had gotten used to Wei Wuxian’s non-stop chatter so when he was actually quiet, he couldn’t help but take a peek his way to see why he was acting so uncharacteristically.

Exhibit B:

The mention of Emperor’s Smile obviously reminded Lan Zhan of their little sword ballet under the moonlight, which will eventually give way to just reminding him of Wei Ying in general.

Random Bits of Randomness

I thought this little moment where Wei Ying fixes Lan Zhan’s sleeve was just adorable, and I have feeling that was probably an improvisation by Xiao Zhan since the opportunity presented itself.

Little did Wei Ying know at the time that he would be the first one for a lot of things when it came to Lan Zhan.

Obviously the folks in the middle—Wei Ying, Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng, and the Wen siblings—did NOT want to share their boats with some lowly Gusu Lan disciples. Seeing the group of them all crowded on that one boat at the end always gives me a good chuckle. At least Lan Xichen was nice enough to share his boat with his fellow sect brothers.

Questions I still have

The Inn situation: even now I still do not understand why they had to stay at an inn overnight. Big Bro Xichen said that they would set up for Caiyi Town in the morning, and since that place is only like 5 hours away from Cloud Recesses (a fact mentioned in the third episode when Wei Ying had to run back to town to retrieve their invitation), that means they got to town by midday at the latest. So why did they have to rent a room? Couldn’t they head straight for the lake? And it’s not like they were resting at the inn for a couple of hours until night fall so that they could actually do a night hunt in the evening for once, since they didn’t go to the lake until the next day and actually hunted the water ghouls during the day. Hell, some poor villager died during the night while they were hanging out at their inns, waiting for daytime. Then there’s the rooming situation: as much as I loved the arrangement and I hate that I am essentially looking a gift horse in the mouth, but serioulsy, why WAS Wei Ying and Lan Zhan rooming together? It would’ve made more sense for the Yunmeng bros to be roommates and then the Twin Jades to share another room. Yet, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan ended up together, not only in the same room, but in a completely different inn than the others since, according to the innkeeper, the two of them are the first customers he’s had in a while. Not the entire group, only the two of them. I couldn’t help wondering, did the others book up all the rooms in one hotel, so Wei Ying and Lan Zhan had no choice but to go to another hotel instead? Most importantly, was this yet another one of Big Bro Xichen’s clever schemes to further push his little brother together with Wei Ying???

Finally, my other question from this episode is: why doesn’t Su She have a head ribbon on? Is it because he’s married already? Does that mean that all the Gusu Lan disciples who still have their head ribbons on are unmarried or maybe even still virgins, including dear Uncle Lan Qiren, since I’m sure there’s probably a sect rule prohibiting premarital sex. I will probably never get an answer to this since I’m pretty sure nothing of the sort was mentioned about Su She in the novel, but it’s just so weird to me that they made that choice for the drama.

Overall Episode Rating: 8 Lil Apples out of 10

#The Untamed #陈情令 #Spoilers #WangXian #Untamed Rewatch #Mo Dao Zu Shi #CQL #MDZS #魔道祖师 #Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #Founder of Diabolism #Wei Ying Wei Wuxian #Lan Zhan Lan Wangji #ChengQing #Jiang Cheng #Wen Qing #Lan Xichen #Su She

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bobbichoicesfeedback · 5 years

Text

Choices: Stories You Play, by Pixelberry Studios

Bloodbound (Spoilers up to Book 3 Chapter 6)

MC (Bobbi) x Lily

Again, this is a stand-alone response to the latest chapter. Now we’ve been un-alive for a month, I had feelings about how we’d adjust. This is pretty much where I think we’d go. Julia is a random name I gave to the woman who volunteers to feed you in chapter 1.

_______

Julia rubbed my back, comfortingly as the dry heaves she had got used to subsided. I curled up and rested my head in her lap while she did her shirt back up.

“It’s been a month,” I said, despondently, closing my eyes as she traced her fingers through my curly hair, “Why aren’t I over this yet?”

Julia didn’t say anything, although her gentle caresses became stronger. She had never blamed me for nearly losing control, when she gave me my first true meal since… I died. It was merciful that vampires don’t need to eat as often as humans do. The next time I started craving blood and went to the volunteer clinic, Jax in tow to keep an eye on me, in the basement of the Raines’ building, she had sought me out and offered her neck to me.

Just like the first time I’d fed, immediately afterwards I’d dropped to the floor, hacking and coughing. My stomach had convulsed as though I was going to vomit, but thankfully nothing came up. Despite maintaining control this time and only drinking as much as my body plainly needed, guilt and shame were the only things I could feel.

I’d fed maybe a dozen times since then. All but one had been with Julia. The other had been a young man who Julia insisted I… taste… just in case there was some unusual issue – can vampires be allergic to a particular type of blood?

Every time ended the same way. I felt sick, physically and mentally, every time.

“Sweetie,” Julia said, stroking my cheek, “Don’t expect too much. I’m here for you and I know that it’s not because of me that you’re feeling like this.”

I smiled vaguely. Julia was reclining on the old sofa in the apartment I’d used to share with Lily, and I was laying in the foetal position with my head on her lap. Over the past month, she’d become the person I was most comfortable confiding in. The others – the people who had become my family over the past year – had all been so overjoyed to see me back after my violent death that I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting them with the truth.

“Lily came to speak to me yesterday,” Julia said, in the tones of someone cradling a bombshell, “She wasn’t aggressive, but she was clearly a little annoyed with me.”

I frowned, knowing that there was no way I was getting away from the conversation this time, and sat up, rubbing my forehead wearily.

“I understand why you haven’t told them,” Julia said, putting her arm around my shoulder; I hugged her back, “Especially Lily. But they’re all starting to notice something is odd about you. Lily was subtly accusing me of trying to steal her girlfriend…”

“Her girlfriend?” I snorted, pouring a lot of disdain into the noise, “She’s always believed in open relationships anyway.”

“She said as much,” Julia whispered, still trying to keep me calm. The fact that she needed to fear me losing my temper felt as bad as the one time I’d caught a beam of sunlight, “But she pointed out that you and she haven’t been alone together since you Turned.”

“I’ve spent time with her and put up a show of being close,” I lied. I had tried to relax myself around her and accepted her shows of affection when we were in public, but I’d very carefully orchestrated things so that we never managed to get a moment alone. It was easiest when we were around Rheya, since the council had been disbanded. The First’s affect on all vampires – myself included, although I seemed not to be as enamoured as all my friends were – meant that Lily could be distracted from the obvious relationship problems I was hiding, “What am I supposed to do? Tell her that I hate her for turning me into a vampire. I did it to her first, and she did it because she loves me…”

“You don’t think keeping it a secret from her will hurt more?” Julia said, quite sensibly, finally letting me go and standing up. She was very pretty and every nerve in my hyper-sensitive vampire body wanted more. She saw my expression and smiled again.

“I’m sorry, Julia,” I winced as I stood, “I know – believe me, all too well – that one of the best things about volunteering to provide food for… one of us… is the affection.”

“I don’t need that, Bobbi,” she insisted, kissing me on the cheek and going to collect her coat, “I know you don’t want to give in to that and I know why. It’s fine. I’m just trying to help you deal with this.”

“You’re too good to me,” I replied, kissing her chastely on her soft, tasty lips. I managed to resist the temptation to extend my fangs again and walked her to the door, “Make sure you go and get someone else to make up for my deficiencies. I don’t want you to miss out on it…”

As I opened the door Lily yelped. She’d been stood on the far side, hand raised as though to knock. She was wearing a long trench coat and a curious expression. Knowing how well her… our senses worked, I suspected she’d caught at least the end of the conversation.

“Oh, Bobbi,” she said, unconvincingly trying to look casual, “I was passing and thought I’d see if you were awake. I didn’t know you had company over.”

She made as though to leave, but Julia pushed past her quickly and walked towards the lift.

“I was just going, Lily,” she said, looking pointedly at me over her shoulder, “Don’t worry about it.”

We stood there, either side of the threshold of the apartment we’d once both called home. The moment dragged on, each second more awkward than the last. Eventually, I relented and stepped back, nodding inside. Lily walked in, her usual confidence apparently gone, and stood in the middle of the corridor. I realised that she could see into my bedroom and shut both doors rapidly.

“You’ve only got a single bed, now?” she asked, as we walked through to the lounge, “What happened to your old one?”

“I couldn’t keep it out of morning sunlight easily,” I lied, “Adrien wasn’t able to get the UV filters on my windows in all the mess, so I got the single so I could stay out of the sun.”

“Oh… okay…” she looked at me uncertainly. Neither of us sat, and the moment was still painfully awkward, “It must be a little uncomfortable when your little snack stays overnight?”

I winced, still not used to Lily’s jokes from this perspective, and walked into the half-kitchen to disguise my discomfort.

“Would you like a drink?” I asked, trying to shift the mood.

“I had some in the volunteer basement before I came over,” she said, casually and suddenly falling silent as I slammed a bottle of wine on the counter, “Didn’t you just?”

“I meant wine, Lily!” I snapped, not turning to face her. She hadn’t moved, I could tell from the way air buffeted the bare skin of my shoulders, “Like we used to do, sit up with a bottle of wine and chat.”

“Okay,” her voice was hesitant, and she started walking towards the door, “Clearly we have a problem and you don’t want to talk about it…”

“I know you overheard Julia and me talking,” I said, taking a glass and accidentally shattering it in my grip. I growled at myself and gave up, storming back into the lounge and sitting on one of the single chairs, “How much did you hear?”

“Not much,” she admitted, knowing better than to lie about this. She sat in the sofa opposite me, her eyes running over my face in a mix of worry and curiosity, “Only you saying… you hadn’t… y’know. I was surprised. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had been disappointed because I wanted to be your first time since Turning…”

She stopped instantly. I guess I couldn’t hide my facial expression when she mentioned it. After a pause, when it was clear I still wasn’t going to speak my mind, she continued the sentence.

“Yeah, your first time… I can’t believe you haven’t slept with anyone for the whole month?”

“How about you?” I asked, plastering on a smile even I didn’t believe, “Managed to talk Rheya into bed yet?”

Mentioning the Vampire Queen nearly had the effect I wanted. Lily’s eyes went hazy and she smiled as though in heaven.

“No,” she admitted, smirking shyly, “I’d love to, but I don’t think she’s up for it yet. And I didn’t… I mean…”

She fixed me with the powerful stare I’d fallen in love with six months ago, smiling but with a worried cast to her eyes, “I was waiting for you.”

“You don’t need to do that, Lil,” I said, looking away, embarrassed.

“I wanted to,” she said, earnestly. I sensed she wanted to close the gap between us, but the coffee table was making a subtle barrier, “I worried every time you slipped away. It was like you didn’t want to see me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I looked out of the window, mentally cursing the fact that yet another lie had been that Adrien hadn’t applied the UV filter to the glass yet. Sunrise wasn’t far off, “I’ve just been so busy helping out as the council was dissolved and getting New York back on its feet.”

“That excuse might have worked for a couple of weeks, sweetheart,” she said, an edge coming to her voice, “But the others have noticed it too. I thought you might be getting a thing for that girl – I confess, I was feeling jealous – but now I find out you haven’t slept with her? What about Kamilah? Jax or Adrien?”

I looked at her, suddenly feeling like we were back before either of us had ever heard of the Vampire Council. She grinned at my sarcastic expression.

“You’ve slept with some men, it might have happened,” she giggled, “You’ve only ever been mostly gay… Wait, are you seriously telling me that you’ve been a vampire for more than a month and you’re still an afterlife virgin?”

She looked incredulous and amused, openly laughing when my expression must have given the truth away instantly. She stood up and dropped her trench coat, revealing her almost-naked, lingerie-clad body to me. It was calculated to hit my libido like a sledgehammer. A black silk basque tightly hugged her ebony waist and a leather bra/thong combo accentuated her curves. I couldn’t stop my eyebrows and heart rate suddenly raising.

“I’d come over here because I finally wanted to get our relationship back on track,” she said, cocking a hip and beckoning me forward with a seductive finger, “I didn’t think that it would be such a big deal.”

“I’m sorry, Lil,” I said, turning my head away with difficulty, “I’m not in the mood, tonight.”

“You know that doesn’t work anymore?” she asked, tones of incredulity in her voice, “I can hear your heartbeat and I know you can hear mine…”

She wasn’t wrong; her pulse raced every time she looked in my direction. Once upon a time I would have found that flattering, but in that same ‘once upon a time’ I wouldn’t have been able to tell.

“So, what is the issue?” she asked, dropping back onto the sofa, but hooking one leg over the arm in an aggressively seductive pose, “I thought you might be having a thing with… her… but you’re not. I thought you might have been with one of the other gorgeous women we know, but you haven’t. I can’t work out what’s going on, Bobbi. I was terrified I had lost you, then it turned out I hadn’t but… I may as well have. What is wrong?”

“Every time I…” I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘feed’ or ‘drink’ out loud, it made things too real, “Every time I get hungry, Julia is there to help out. She doesn’t expect anything of me and she listens to me.”

“You’ve only fed on her?” Lily asked, still with undertones of incredulity, but clearly trying to ask casually, “You’re missing out. Everyone tastes different. Of course, no-one tastes as good as you do…”

“Every time I… do…” I felt my stomach heave at the memory, “I feel like I’m going to throw up. Not just subtly, I’m forced to the floor, dry-heaving and everything.”

“That’s odd…” Lily said, looking at me with wide eyes, “I’ve never had anything like that. It probably is just something incompatible between you and her-“

“It’s not just her,” I snapped. I was worried, we were getting dangerously close to me saying things I couldn’t take back, “I’ve tried someone else and the same thing happens. I’m sorry Lily, maybe you should head home.”

“Well, the sun’s coming up,” she said, defiantly, “so that would be difficult. You’re obviously hiding something, Bobbi. Please, tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s guilt,” I snapped again, then threw a hand over my mouth. But despite my desire to bite back the word, I knew now I had to continue. Slowly I lowered my hand, “I feel guilty drinking blood. Even when it’s freely offered. I drink it and it’s the best flavour I’ve ever experienced-“

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Lily, failing to read the room, chimed in.

“But, immediately afterwards I feel guilt and shame at having to drink it,” I finished. I paused, waiting to see if Lily would pick up on the implications. She remained silent, but shifted so that she was sat in a more appropriate pose, “I don’t let myself enjoy it, or anything. Because I hate having to drink blood. I hate being a vampire. Every time I look at you, I can’t see anything except the woman who did this to me.”

I breathed heavily once or twice, holding my hand up to delay the obvious and justified response, until I could finish the train of thought.

“And that makes the guilt worse, Lily,” I continued, looking at her frowning, wounded expression, “Because I know I have no right to resent you for the choice you made. I made the choice for you, in this very room. You were forced to become a vampire because Gaius wanted to manipulate me, and I couldn’t live without you. Why should I fault you for doing the same thing, especially considering how we’d grown closer since?”

“You said you forgave me,” she said, her voice hollow, and her eyes averted. It was worryingly subdued.

“I was still in shock, I was panicking,” I admitted, glancing up as a ray of filtered sunlight brushed over my cheek, “I said what I thought you needed to hear. I hadn’t even thought about what I really felt yet. Then there was the chaos of New York, and then Rheya turned up…”

“Surely that made things better?” Lily’s voice did the familiar up-turn at the mention of the First’s name, “She seems to be able to fix everything…”

“I don’t like her,” I admitted, drawing a shocked, almost horrified gasp, “Oh, obviously when I’m around her, everything is perfect. But… it’s not right…”

“Well, you’re clearly losing your mind,” Lily said, only half joking, “She’s the goddess we need, Bobbi. Maybe if you open yourself up to her, you can accept your new place in the world?”

“You can see I lied, Lily?” I said, holding my hand up in the dawn’s light. “I got rid of the double bed about a week ago. It was the first night that Julia came to see me here instead of me going down to the volunteer basement.”

“I thought you said you didn’t sleep together?” Lily, now Rheya wasn’t the topic, shifted back to her slightly hurt, slightly worried tones.

“I’d made an appointment to meet her in the basement that night,” I continued, ignoring the interruption, “But I didn’t turn up. She checked in with Adrien, who gave her my address, and she came to see me here. She found me, hunched in the bedroom, covered in stab wounds. I’d shattered the bed and had been trying to stake myself. Turns out, it’s hard to do it yourself.

“She made me drink, the wounds healed, and I told her exactly why I’d been trying to kill myself,” I said, standing and walking towards the bedroom. Lily reached out to take my wrist, but my enhanced reflexes let me avoid her hand, “I bought the single bed, so that I wouldn’t be as tempted to sleep with someone. Before that, I’d tried to go out onto the roof at noon, but the pain stopped me before I could even burn.”

“Bobbi,” there was a catch in her voice that broke my heart to hear. I still cared for her, I knew I did, but as I’d said, I couldn’t look at her without resentment, “I agonised about Turning you. I didn’t know what you wanted, but I thought that you would welcome the opportunity. If anyone deserved a chance to live, it’s the woman who saved the city from Gaius. I thought you were okay with everything, everyone did.”

“I’m going to head to bed, Lily,” I said, in final tones, “You can stay as long as you need, but you should probably call Adrien. He can send a shielded limo to collect you.”

When I got to my bedroom door, I turned back. I was surprised to see her crying heavily, but maybe this band-aid needed to be torn off now.

“I don’t think we can trust Rheya,” I said, hesitantly, knowing the hero-worship I’d be intruding on, “But, if I’m wrong, I think you should go and be with her. She can give you what I can’t, any more.”

“Bobbi,” Lily fixed me with a pained look, “I held you in my arms while you were dying. I tried to tell you that I lo-“

“Don’t say it,” I interrupted, holding up my hand, “Please Lily, I don’t want to hurt you. But if you say those words to me now, any response I give would be as bad as sunlight…”

I closed the door behind me, threw open my bedroom curtains, dragged the bed into the sunlight, and fell into it. I silently cursed my heightened senses, hearing Lily weeping in the other room no matter how hard I tried to ignore it. Eventually she left. About an hour later my ‘phone rang constantly. First Jax was trying to call, then Adrien and Kamilah. They all tried two or three times before giving me peace. I just hoped that none of them would tell Rheya what had happened. I don’t think I could deal with the emotional manipulation I feared would happen if she tried to… fix… my problems. I sent a text message to Julia; telling her I’d confessed to Lily. I didn’t want to talk about it yet, but I’d let her know when we could.

Then I lay in the filtered sun, remembering what I’d lost. I wished I’d died on the end of that blade.

#choices #pixelberry #bloodbound3 #bloodbound #vampire #constructive criticism #honest feedback #visual novel

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hellapainyo · 5 years

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I WANNA HEAR YOUR HEADCANNON FOR A LIL DATE(NOT FIRST, MAYBE 4TH OR 5TH)WITH ONE OF THE MAKNAES OF NCT/WAYV ORRRRRRRRRRRR LIKE A LIL BLURB FOR ALL OF THEM IDK DO IT IF YOU WANT I JUST LOVED YOUR LIL HENHEN THING AND I WANNA HEAR M O R E

First, AHHHH thank you! I’mso excited to try out writing a bit just for fun and it warms my heart that youwanna see more!

I’m going to include ’98and ’99 line because I’m not the most familiar with the Dreamies and Wayv yet.That being said, if you want me to do something with any of those members specifically,let me know and I will!

And please, feel free to send in more requests!

Jungwoo:

I see Jungwoo as a soft guy who likes to plan things

Idk he pegs me as whimsically pragmatic, which Iadmire

I feel like the 5th date would feelimportant to him, it’s a nice round number so he wants to ask his date to behis partner officially

He plans it all out that they’ll have a smallpicnic

Followed by a bike ride in the park

Then it finishes at a fountain that’s deepwithin the park where he will ask them

It’s a sunny day and warm when he meets his dateat the café, so he’s all chuffed and building his ego so he can feel confident

When his date shows up, he’s got this fake machoman thing going which just makes them giggle because “manly Jungwoo” is hysterical

They’re about to depart for the picnic when itstarts raining

Cue moody, bratty Jungwoo

His date is trying to be easy going and is findinga cultural center you can bring outside snacks to, but in the process, Jungwoois too upset to notice the bracelet he bought to confess with just falls out ofhis pocket

They get to the museum and spend a bit looking atall the pieces and his date is pointing out the parts they really like and Jungwoois loosening up

They find the luncheon area and open up thepicnic and have a grand time talking and Jungwoo is deciding that he can saveit, he can make it cute

He looks at the map of the museum and sees thatthe only exhibit they haven’t looked at is a hologram field of flowers

After their lunch he drags his date to the hologramand while they are admiring the beauty, Jungwoo realizes he lost the bracelet

He’s aggressively patting his pockets when hisdate turns around, smiles, and hands him the box the bracelet was in

“Is this what you were looking for?”

“I… Yes. Um…” he opens the box, “Will you by my girl/boyfriend?”

“I’d thought you’d never ask”

Lucas:

He’s an Aquarius so I falter between him being asuper energetic partner and also a really lazy one because he works so hard

So let’s go with a lazy date because I’m softfor cuddly Lucas

He’s definitely the guy who is both super chillabout the status of relationships, but also so incredibly devoted and whippedfor whomever he’s seeing

The “define the relationship” phase doesn’texist for him…

“We’re going on dates, so we’re dating,” is hisperspective

I imagine him being adorable and naïve andcuddly after a long day at practice

He showers and shoots up his partner with a textasking if he can hang

His partner is like, “Uhh my roommates arethrowing a party tonight. Do you wanna come to that or do something more lowkey?”

Since, he’s exhausted, he decides the latter andhe shows up at their apartment in sweats and wet hair

He is the charismatic boy he is and greets everyoneand does the stereotypical, “I’m just gonna steal them for the night.” *wink*thing

They wander the streets, find delicious streetfood, and stretch out their legs together all while joking around

Lucas finds a claw machine and spends $10 justtrying to get a tiny snorlax stuffy for his partner

They result to just buying him shaved ice to gethim to shut up about it

At some point, they both get super tired and,upon realizing they can’t just go back to the dorm or the apartment, they finda movie room

Which btw is like this thing where you rent aroom and essentially you can Netflix and Chill with privacy

The front desk guy is making suggestive faces atthem as they rent one without realizing what actually happens between tired Lucasand tired partner

They make it up to the room, pop the popcorn inthe microwave and snuggle in to watch Finding Nemo

They get a noise complaint for them arguing overwho between them would most effectively be able to communicate with whales

At which point they settle down for snuggles andthey fall asleep tracing stars on each other’s arms

Mark:

My sweet, kind, nervous boy

He’s another one who pegs me as someone nervousaround people he likes

But also, he calls his date “Dude” and “Bro” regardlessof their gender and that, my dudes, is everything I look for in a man

He’s ambitious and also really enjoys stereotypicalcute coupley things so he suggests taking a cooking class with his date

The dish of the day is omurice (which is supertasty okay)

Cute Mark fumbling with the cooking aprons is socute because he doesn’t know if his date wants him to put it on them or not sohe stands there for like 10 seconds with fiddly hands until his date puts one overhis neck and he realizes “Oh okay we’re being COUPLEY coupley”

They attentively watch the instructions andpractice the techniques and everything seems fine

Until it comes the time when they are set looseto make their own dish

Mark accidentally finds himself behind his datebecause Mark is clueless and didn’t really remember how they were instructed tocut the carrots for the rice

He was too busy gawking at how lovely his datelooked with an apron on

Fite me, Mark likes domestic aesthetics

And he realizes his uselessness lol so he wantsto express his appreciation and ends up backhugging his date which is beyondcute but they both get embarrassed and Mark is about to pull away until hisdate just pulls Mark’s arms around their waist a bit tighter

“Your support makes me feel capable” orsomething cute

Anyway, between their constant hugging, poorcooking skills, and unsteady hands, their omurice looks terrible, but tastes great

Inspiration: Yoosung’s ugly omuricefrom Mystic Messenger:

Xiaojun:

A dude I don’t know much about, lol

Like Mark I think he would love to learn somethingnew with his date

But I also think he has a lot of tact too

I can imagine him planning a date and giving hispartner no other context than, “Meet me at the café at 2” and so his date justshows up to this cute rustic café

They sit and have some tea and Xiaojun, being asly bean, keeps complimenting the stoneware the teapot, mugs, and plates aremade from

To the point where it’s annoying lol

And finally his partner is like “Yeah I get it,you like them.”

And he finally reveals that the main date iswheel thrown pottery

Both he and his partner have little to no experiencewith clay apart from a couple random pinch pots made in elementary school

So they get to the studio and they see all thesetechniques and equipment and they are terrified

Xiaojun is the type to smile through the pain sohe’s just grinning and ignoring how intimidated he is

But he’s cute and intuitive enough to tie backhis partner’s hair for them

They’re both terrible at it, but they pose it uplong enough to get the cute ‘Ghost’ scene to post on SNS (poor instructor being forced into taking cringey pics of them)

In the end they make a glob of clay

Xiaojun passes it off as abstract art

The other members make fun of it when he has it onhis bedside table

It somehow is a good phone stand though

Hendery:

This egg, I swear

He’s such a crackhead

The other members have cute little dates withfun chances for skinship, right?

Hendery wants to play paintball and none of hisfriends want to because he cheats at games, so he asks his naïve partner to gowith him

Regrets

His partner is acting all shy about it like they’venever played before, which just feeds into Hendery’s “I’m gonna win so yougotta buy me lunch” mocking

They get all suited up

And the game begins

Hendery is trying his best to hide just so hecan have a better vantage

But this crackhead is a giggly mess because he’sthinking about his date’s face when they lose

Which just makes him easier to find

Plus he’s distracted so he doesn’t notice whenhis partner gets the higher ground with a great vantage point to literally seehim crouching and giggling

*pow* *pow* *pow*

Three chest shots in a row and Hendery is donefor and lost

Forever disappointed Hendery because the gamelasted a total of 7 minutes and he didn’t even get to attempt any shots

He’s just a pouty boy

So much so that he has to get consolation icecream before he can go buy their lunch

But later, he brags to all the members about howgood of a shot his partner is

“I feel so safe knowing they can protect me.”-Hendery

“We don’t have guns here…” -Kun

“BUT if we did! I would be so safe.” -Hendery

I hope you like it!!

#akpoptrash1 #wayv reactions #nct reactions

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all-hail-the-witcher · 6 years

Text

stab stab

tonights spies thing

all other spies things and the whole series is under #spy boys

tonight the bois are young lil 17 year olds pre fbi

______

genre: sorta angsty comfort

warnings: smol stab, bad parents, blood, I guess panic attack, crying, Albert plays minecraft

editing: I wrote this during English and seminar heck no

words: theyre there

______

“You’re such a disappointment, get out of my sight.”

Race fought back his tears as he turned on his heel and strode out of the room, head held high. There was no reason for him to let his father see him vulnerable, that would just make it worse in the end.

He kept up his strong stance, not minding the blood that was dripping from his arm onto the nice, fancy carpeting his mom loved so much. Screw the carpeting, the maid would clean it later.

As soon as he got to his room, his facade crumbled and tears began to leak out of his eyes as he haphazardly threw random clothes into his backpack and climbed out of the window onto the fire escape. Then he threw his backpack onto the fire escape on the building next door before expertly climbing onto it and throwing open the window to Albert’s room.

Thankfully, Albert was in his room. Not thankfully, he had his headphones on and was playing minecraft so he didn't see Race ungracefully tumble into his room.

Race didn't have the energy to go over and talk to Albert, so he resolved himself to crying his eyes out and cradling his bleeding forearm.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, maybe hours, maybe minutes, maybe years, until the loud white noise in his ears began to fade and a concerned voice echoed in his head.

“Racer?”

It was Albert. He was sure of it.

“Racer, hun, can you hear me?”

Race nodded slowly.

“Alright hun, I need you to focus on me, just me okay?”

Race nodded again.

Albert hesitated and Race knew that he was preparing himself to touch him. Albert was not good with touch, but it was one of the only ways to calm Race down effectively and he was clearly having a mental battle over what to do. Apparently helping Race won because he gingery grasped Race’s hands, and nudged Race’s jaw with his shoulder slightly so that they were looking at each other.

Almost immediately, Race began to feel himself calm down as he stared at Albert through a watery haze. Albert smiled at him encouragingly.

“That’s it hun,” Albert soothed. “You're doing great. Now i need you to take a deep breath alright? Do it with me.”

Albert sucked in an over exaggerated breath and Race followed suit, albeit a little shakily. He held it for a few seconds, matching Albert, before exhaling. Albert patiently repeated the process several times before Race squeezed his hand.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Albert responded, letting go of Race’s hands and pulling his own close to his body. Then he caught sight of Race’s still bleeding forearm for seemingly the first time.

“Did he do that to you?” Albert asked slowly.

Race knew who he meant. “No,” he said and Albert let out a breath. “I took the ally shortcut home like usual after dance and two weird guys were in there and they attacked me. One of them got me with a knife but I fought them off. I think I’m okay.”

Albert flipped Race’s arm toward him and studied it for a minute, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “It doesn’t look that bad,” he said after a minute. “I don’t think you need to go to the hospital, but I’m going to fix you up.”

He stood up and Race followed, knowing that there was no way to talk him out of this, and the two of them headed to the bathroom.

Race hopped up on the counter and watched as Albert began to clean the cut, taking extra care to be gentle but also making sure he did everything precisely. His face was screwed up in concentration, but he broke every time Race winced or flinched or moaned slightly in favor of making sure Race was okay.

FInally, the two of them headed back to Albert’s room and Race laid down on the bed, completely shot. Even though his eyes were closed, he could feel Albert looking at him.

“What is it Albie?” he said into the pillow.

“Um,” Albert hesitated. “Do you want me to hold you? I know you like that.”

Race opened his eyes and looked up at his friend. “You hate touching people.”

“I know,” Albert fidgeted slightly. “But I’ve been getting better and I think I could handle holding you cause I know you're not going to hurt me.”

Race was too tired to argue and he patted the bed next to him. Albert lay down and Race curled into his chest as Albert hesitantly put his arm around him.

“You let me know it this is too much, okay?” Race mumbed sleepily.

“I know,” Albert whispered, gently rubbing Race’s back. “Sleep hun, I got you.”

Race dozed off, very much not okay, but safe in Albert’s arms.

_______

awww look at them

will I ever be nice to them in this series

the answer is no

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the tag list

tag list @fairly-awkward-trashcan @well-the-kids-do-too @racetrackcook @bouncyscreamingnewsboys @ughwaitwhat @aw-jus-let-em-try @ben-cook-can-cook @the-woild-is-my-what-now @tommy-s-s0cks @voice-foundshoe-lost @galaxy-trees13 @stopthe-presses @ridin-in-style @pinecovewoods @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing @bencookisagod @be-more-chill-evan-hansen @hellasoulless @stellar-alpaca @saxoph-ella @smolcanadiankid @disney-princess-sized @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @insane-tomato @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @have-we-got-news-for-you @thatfancyclam @myidkwhatmynameisblog @legoflambwrites

@that-one-newskid

@not-a-scab

@albertdasillva

@entschuldigung-bitches

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@tea-and-theater

@thomasbeingthomas

@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula

@newsies-of-ny

@mrs-higgins

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@spot-me50-papes

@santafe-cafe

@papesdontsellthemselves

@king-of-new-yoirk

@deathcast-s

#saphie scribbles #didnt spell it wrong that time #spy boys #Albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #theyre so sad #good thing they run away from home

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queenofmahishmati · 6 years

Note

Hi Sharme!! Hope you're well and finally got to sleep 💖💖💖💖 For the ask thingy - 1 - 20 please 😄💐💖💝 xxx

Awww thank you so much Neha 💕 indeed, I’m finally home, took a little nap and here I am. Also hoping to catch on my sleep all through the weekend xoxo

And guys, brace yourself. Playing 20 questions is going to be long here lol…

Ask game ⇢

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I have more milk than cereal because I looove to drink up the cereal flavoured milk after. Imma Dork yeah.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

On my cheek… maybe?? On my nose— definitely no. So I wrap up my scarf extra tight around my face on cold winter mornings.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

LOL, I just glanced at the two books on my side table right now and one has my comb in it and the other has my nail filer as bookmarks. I usually use my flight tickets cause I have a lot of them.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Only tea. No coffee ((except pumpkin spice lattes)). I take my tea with milk, one spoon full of brown sugar and a pinch of homemade spice mix for tea. Masala tea, anyone?!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Nope. But if a picture is being clicked somewhere, then heck yes.

6: do you keep plants?

I kill my plants. But I try. I swear I try.

(( rest under cut lovely people ))

7: do you name your plants?

I tend not to cause I don’t wanna feel like I murdered my own babies. But they are not really babies cause tiny humans keep making noise and I’d know its time to feed them unlike the silent plant beings. Last week though, I bought this tiny string of pearls in a cute lil pumpkin pot and I have named him dobby. I love string pearls okay, and after my tag rant on a particular hp post yesterday, I named him dobby today.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

I can always rant to my friends. But I write it all out mostly. I have three different journals for a reason and a regular diary to scribble everything else in.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

I hum to myself at times. Not a great singer here with my screechy voice, excuse me.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I sleep on my side, I curl up on myself with a pillow for my feet and on my sides. No pillow for my head though, I have a sensitive neck.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

My… name. Yes, my name is a running joke in my friends’ circle.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

You kidding me?? Its Earth. Until they find an equally awesome planet to live in, Earth would be my favourite.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

My mum sending me random pictures of every little thing she’s packing up in my diwali care package. I can’t wait to get my hands on it!!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

If you consider Edinburgh a big city, I have already lived that scenario with my best friend in a charming old flat right in the middle of the city. And I loved every minute of it. Wish I could go back to those simpler times. My entire adult life, like ever since I was 17 I have lived only with friends.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Unlike Earth’s cool as a cucumber Moon, other planets in the solar system have a hell lot of weird moons is what I learnt from my latest google search. Like take Saturn for example, one moon has a dark and light face like some jedi/sith war for generations, other has liquid on its surface but that liquid is not water, and the spectacular rings around the planet could be from a smashed moon. Jupiter has a moon that has volcanoes exploding all over it like hellfire. Uranus has a very broken looking moon that could still be crumbling until the next time we get a good picture of it. And lets not forget about all the weird storms that have been raging on Jupiter and Saturn for centuries, yes for Centuries. Yikes!! Also, did you know there’s this massive black hole coming for us at a speed of 5 million miles?? But its still 8 billion light years away. I’m not good at math but I’m guessing its gonna take another million years before it reaches us?? I may look upon the stars fondly and even love them, but the unending darkness in the outer space TERRIFIES me.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Eaaaasyyy. Lasagna. I love me some meat lasagna. I don’t have the patience to make one though.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I already answered this. I’d love to have a deep dark red ombre effect going on in my hair.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

One dumbest thing I did was write my own name as Shareme, in a test paper nonetheless cause I was extremely sleepy that day. My professor called that out specifically when he gave back the graded papers and ever since that day, my name is a running joke for everyone. A funny thing, there is this one group picture from our various trips where I have my eyes obviously stuck on my crush (long past) and of course my friend who clicked it posted it on social media and EVERYONE had something to say about it…ughhhh. It’s still embarrassing to think about that picture.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I keep three journals and one diary. I write all happy memories in one, sad emotional stuff in the other, and things for future in the third one. My diary is for jotting down story ideas, doodling or plain ass scribbling from top of a page to the very bottom.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

Brown. Period. Other eye colours are cool to look at and I at times find them beautiful too. But I love brown eyes. It’s familiar. It’s comfort. It’s home.

#neha #rangdeenis #answered #cute asks #tysm nehabear #know me better

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the-worlds-the-limit · 6 years

Note

Doing and dreams

My Character Must Confess in 3s (Accepting)

Soma

“I bounce my knee when I sit down a lot, I fiddle with things in my hands without realising and... oh, and I sort of ‘zone out’ as people call it. As for my wishes...? I want people to stop asking and judging the fact that my LED is still in, and that I keep my android’s clothing. I would like humans to be less stiff and wary when talking to me or another android. We don’t bite. And I would like to feel with my hands again.”

Lisa

“I tap my fingers against my leg. I grip things too tightly whether with Assecla or not. I can’t keep my hold on Her. I wish I didn’t have to eat flesh. I wish people would stop chasing us. I wish we had a non-toxic relationship.”

Halu

“Halu likes making noise, also play lot on beaches when not safe. Some places bad and... I go to them inside though know this. But I has good wishes!! Wish for good food! Wish to find other my species! And wish the ocean safe and clean!”

Quet

“Do I seriously have to-? Fine. My tail curls around objects at random. I bare my teeth if I dislike someone whether it is a good idea or not. I have a tendency to bite if people don’t keep out of my business. My wishes are that the ancient civilisations did not stray from my message, that I could have protected them better, and that you people did not pry into my life.”

Mithuil

“I still wag my tail like the canid skull my body formed around and I also shake, which causes a loud noise. I... also have a liking for playing games with the children I have seen. Perhaps too much. My wishes... I wish they could be as light-hearted. I wish that humans had not tethered my kind, that the things I lost to them came back... and that I could have been with my little one when she needed me.”

Geode

“Well’en, lessee... My tail wags if I’m ‘real excited ‘bout something, I uhhh, I spend mosta my spare money on small trinkets that I see out ‘n about, and I keep collectin’ little shiny rocks and stuff out there too. My wishes, it ain’t much. Guess a better security system ‘round the quarry wouldn’t hurt. Maybe a better flow of customers ‘n stuff. And uh... wouldn’t mind seeing my folks one last time...”

Spike

“Ah geez, you had’ta pick these ones. Okayyy, first of all, I give people static shocks when I’m feeling all ‘emotional’ and sometimes it’s more like a taser. I keep forgetting to put the spike-proof covers on my pillows both couch and bed, and they keep getting skewered. And there’s the whole sour candy shtick. As for wishes, I’d like my public-given name to not be something so goddamn stupid like ‘thunderborn’. Seriously. Also, my rent to pay itself and for my mom to go take a long walk off a short pier for leavin’ dad with me.”

Lady Lucy

Stars, that’s a mighty good question! Well, I suppose you already know this, I have a constant affected area of good luck, but I also have a mild sweet tooth. Well... maybe a lil’ more than mild. I also tend to forget things if I don’t get them done or write them down in a day. As for wishes, I don’t wish for all that much. I suppose for the Devil’s influence to be gone from Inkwell entirely, my passive luck effect to be more controllable and... hmm... well maybe it would be nice to see those two young boys who got my contract and stopped the Devil.”

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maraudersandlily20 · 7 years

Text

The Lake House Stories: Part 3- The Midnight Confessional

It was dark outside. The blinds, though shut, had very little light shining through them. James had made sure that they had planned the trip to avoid any interference that the moon could make on Remus. Lily laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She listened to the even breathing of her two friends who were sleeping in the bunk bed against the other wall. Lily had gotten the single bed, which she was appreciative of, since she had some bad memories of bunkbeds.

It was the 7th day of their trip and Lily felt… off. She couldn’t explain it, but her skin was itchy and she felt like she may explode every way at once. It was aggravating, especially since she was trying to get some sleep.

Sighing in annoyance, she got up to get a drink of water. Quietly, she maneuvered herself around her friends and opened the door. She shut it silently behind her and turned toward the bathroom.

She almost squealed in shock when she found herself face to face with Remus. He also looked shaken, his mouth open in a silent exclamation. “Merlin’s beard, Rem. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Yeah, I know, because you almost gave me one as well.” He whispered back. Once both of their breathing had evened out, he gave her a curious look. “What are you doing out here?”

“Getting a drink of water. Couldn’t sleep. And you?”

“Just getting back from the bathroom.” He cast a look back toward his room with a sly smile. “I had to…”

Lily cut him off, shaking her head. “Nope, I don’t want to know.”

“Oh come on. It wasn’t anything bad. It’s just that Sirius has a death grip when we’re in bed together. If he lets go, even for a second, I have to take advantage. And I drank quite a bit of Mrs. P.’s lemonade. I really had to go.”

They chuckled quietly.

“I’m really happy for you, Rem. You and Sirius seem like you’re in a really good place.”

“We are.” he agreed. “I didn’t ever think it could be like this, you know? After I was bitten and became a werewolf, I thought that no one would ever accept me as anything more than a monster. I worked really hard to have friends when I came to Hogwarts. But it took a while to trust anyone. And with James, Peter and Sirius, I just felt really lucky. They accepted me, wolf and all, because they loved me. But this?” He turned to look at the shut door which his boyfriend lay sleeping behind. “This thing that I have with Sirius is so much more than anything I could ever have hoped for myself. He’s so… good. And warm. And he makes me really, really happy.”

“Good. He better, or I would hurt him.”

Remus breathed out a laugh. “He knows, actually. I’ve warned him.”

Lily smiled. “But really, Remus, you deserve every ounce of happiness this world has to offer. I’m just so glad you found it in Sirius, and that he found it in you. It’s good. It’s a good thing. And the world needs more of that.”

They heard a groan from behind the closed door. “Remus?” Sirius called out, his voice hoarse and groggy. Lily and Remus chuckled at the sound.

“I swear, he is so spoiled. But that’s my cue.” He turned, his hand on the knob before he turned back to look at his best friend. “Lily? I just want you to know that you deserve to be happy too. And I know it scares you, to admit that you want to be with James, but I know he can make you happy. And I know you want him, too. So, just do yourself a favor and say whatever it is you need to so you can be together. I think you’ve both waited to be happy long enough.”

Lily blushed for a second, but couldn’t think of anything to say. So she simply nodded her head at his words.

“Remus…?” Sirius called again. Remus laughed.

“Goodnight, Lils. I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, opening the door. She watched as he disappeared behind the door and could hear as he shuffled closer to the bed. “I’m here love,” he whispered, getting into bed with his boyfriend.

“Where did you go? I woke up and you were gone?”

“Nowhere. Just the bathroom. But I’m back now, see.”

Sirius hummed for a moment. Lily could imagine him wrapping his arms firmly against Remus and pulling him closer. “Don’t leave me Remus. Please?”

She heard him sigh, most likely in exasperation, or contentment, she couldn’t decide. “I’m not going anywhere, Sirius. You know that. You do know that, right?”

“Yeah. I know.”

And then nothing. Lily didn’t know why the tiny interaction between the two made her emotional, but her eyes smarted with tears. It was so simple, so full of compassion and love, that is brought Lily’s emotions to the forefront. She didn’t mean to start crying, but she couldn’t help it. Love was a beautiful thing. She had seen it many times in many different people through her life, but this seemingly insignificant interaction between her two best friends showed her how special love could make you feel. And she wanted it.

But more than that, she wanted it with James.

She headed down the staircase and made her way into the kitchen. After pouring herself two large glasses of water, she debated whether or not to head back to bed. But she felt a little wrung out and her heart was full. So, instead, she slipped on her sandals and grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around herself. She made her way out into the open air, looking up into the moonless sky. The stars pricked against the black velvety sky and winked down at her. Her feet led her to the dock where she kicked off her sandals and sat against the worn wood. She dipped her feet into the cool water and took a deep breath. Her random crying fest had left her with a headache and a heavy heart.

She wasn’t sure what she was doing. Why was it so incredibly difficult for her to tell James how she felt? He has always been incredibly forthcoming with his feelings, or his compliments, or anything, really, if it made Lily smile. Lily wasn’t sure if she could do the same, but her mere presence in a room seemed to make him light up.

But she didn’t want him simply because he made her laugh or he paid her compliments. She wanted him because of the person he was. He was kind, even to those who did not deserve it. He never let the fact that he was James Potter effect the way he treated others. He treated the smallest person, even a first year, with the utmost respect. It always made her feel proud to know him.

He was incredibly loyal. He had often taken the fall for his friends in troublesome situations even when it wasn’t his fault. He stuck up for those who were weaker than him. His knuckles had often become bloody after fist fights with Slytherin bullies. It wasn’t ever a matter of pride with James, it was a matter of securing someone’s safety.

But something that truly made James Potter stick out like a flower in a garden of weeds, was the fact that he was unfailingly good. He took incredible risks for a person he loved. He was respectful to those he thought deserved respect. He cared for his parents and showed them affection no matter who was watching. And he made sure those he loved knew that he loved them.

And it made Lily love him all the more.

She pulled back at the thought, her mind reeling from the word she had just associated with James. Love? Did Lily truly love James? She recounted many of the encounters the two had shared over the past few months, the sly smiles they had shared, the laughs they had evoked in each other in secret moments, the times where he had shown her compassion. Hard days where she spent crying or seething through her teeth, he had simply provided her with a cup of tea and a bite of chocolate from Remus’ hoard. He listened when she was angry and held her hair back when she drank too much fire whisky.

Lily thought back to the great romance stories she had heard all her life. They involved grand gestures that made the whole world know that the man loved the woman. She had grown up to expect that, but there, under the stars, Lily Evans found herself having a new train of thought. Maybe love didn’t have to be big and public. Maybe love was in the small things, gestures of kindness and acts of compassion. Maybe, this whole time, while she was waiting for the big thing that took her breath away, she had simply missed the small, seemingly insignificant moments where James had shown her how much he cared for me. They all rushed back to her like a punch to the stomach. And she realized that she was, very much, in love with James Fleamont Potter.

This realization, of course, sent her into another crying fit. She splashed the water as she kicked her legs back and forth and let herself cry. It was almost like her tears were healing her heart, though she hadn’t thought it needed healing. But she let herself cry, and when the tears felt happy, she grinned through them.

She was in love with James Fleamont Potter.

And she had no reason to be afraid anymore.

Lily sat for a few minutes, letting her mind absorb the new details she had discovered about herself. The lake around her was quiet, though the noise of night life started to pick up in volume. She felt the chill of the summer evening settle around her skin and she breathed in deeply.

A noise from behind her startled her and she looked over her shoulder to see James making his way toward her. He lifted up his palms to calm her and gave her a crooked grin. Her heart rate settled again until she realized that she had discovered that she was in love with him just a few minutes before, and her heart set off racing once more.

James walked to the end of the dock before kicking off his shoes and placing his feet in the water. Lily took him in with the light provided by the stars. He was wearing a small pair of red shorts and his t-shirt clung to his skin. His usually messy hair was even more wild from his sleep and his eyes looked a tad bleary. The glasses that adorned his face were slightly crooked from the time Peter had accidently stepped on them. If anything, it made James’ face more endearing.

“Hey. I heard you leave your room. I thought you’d be back in bed by now, but I never heard your door after you left.I was kind of worried, but I looked out the window and saw you leave the house. You’ve been out here for about an half an hour now. Is everything okay.”

“You heard me leave my room? Did I wake you up?”

“No, you were fine. I was already awake. I heard you and Remus talking in the hallway, that’s how I knew it was you outside. When I saw you outside, I was relieved, but you were out here for quite a while. I was starting to get worried.”

Lily nodded in understanding. “You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Well, Peter snores a little bit. A lot, actually. He’s really, really loud. So I’ve had a rather hard time getting a good night sleep. I mean, I wasn’t like, listening for you or anything. I was trying to sleep. But, no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t sleep. I’ve had quite a bit on my mind for the past few days. It’s been… preoccupying.”

Lily laughed. “I know what you mean.”

Her response seemed to take James by surprise and he gave her a hard look. “Are you okay, Lily? And don’t just give me some fluffy answer you think I want to hear.”

She wrapped the blanket tightly around her and sighed deeply. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, James. About the future. About the kind of person I want to be and the kind of person I was to be with.” He went rigid and she could tell he was holding his breath. “I don’t know a lot about the world, it’s changing so quickly all around us and it’s kind of scary. But…” She turned to face him, looking him straight in the eye. “If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And I don’t ever want to live in a world where you don’t exist. Or where you don’t want me.”

“Lily…” he whispered, hope rising in his chest.

“No, please, just let me get this out.” She took a deep breath and grabbed a hold of his hand. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to continue. “You have been really good to me. You never make me feel like I’m small or insignificant. I feel like I can do anything if you believe I can. And if someone took that away from me, I’m not sure how I would function. This whole time, this whole year honestly, I’ve been pretending that what I felt for you was… nothing. That it was just an offshoot of our budding friendship. But, the past few weeks, I’ve realized that that isn’t true at all.”

Her face was red and his heart was pounding. He had his mouth hanging open like he couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that she was actually saying this. But she was. And though it wasn’t eloquent or good, she persevered.

“I’ve always thought that love had to be really loud. That it was all about big gestures and grand romance. But I think I’ve had it all wrong. I don’t think that love is any of that stuff you see in the movies or hear in songs. I think love is the small things, things that seem unimportant unless they’re happening to you. I think it’s bringing someone tea or playing with their hair or checking to make sure they feel well after a hard day of classes. I think it’s about being comfortable with someone and wanting them to be comfortable as well. I think love might be the moment when you care for someone above your own well being.” She looked down. “I didn’t really think that way until tonight. But, with the new data I’ve collected,” James let out a breathy chuckle, which made Lily smile. “I have come to the conclusion that you love me. That you are in love with me.” She looked up and saw a blush tinge his cheeks. Gently, she placed her hand on the burning skin. “I think you always have been. I knew you cared about me, but I just didn’t know how much. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.” He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

Lily gathered every ounce of courage she could and looked him straight in the eye. “James, after everything we’ve been through and everything you’ve done for me, I know that you love me. But I also know something else. I know that I am completely and totally in love with you too.” There. She had said it, no matter the consequence. “I know it may be a little too late, or that you might not want to hear it, but I love you. I really really love you. Honestly, I love…” But she was cut off in her declaration because James had lunged forward and pressed his mouth resolutely against hers. It took her by surprise for a moment, but she quickly reacted. Her arms went around his neck and her fingers braided themselves into his thick black hair. James was kissing her and it was the greatest moment of her life. He tugged at her and pulled her until she was straddling his lap. Lily was blushing furiously, but continued her feverish kisses, feeling like she would explode from happiness.

It ended too soon, in her opinion, but James pulled away gasping. He looked up into her eyes and grinned. “Lily Jane Evans.” He whispered, slowly caressing her face with his finger. “I am completely and totally in love with you. Now. And probably for the rest of my life. And I don’t mind that you took so long to say it, as long as you say it again every day for the rest of our lives.”

They were grinning and Lily pulled him to her lips again. “I love you,” she said softly against his mouth and he laughed, before he intensified the kiss, flipping her over so she was lying on the dock and he was above her. Lily never wanted him to stop.

And he didn’t. They were on the dock for about an hour, soaking the other up and the fact that they were in love made it all the more special. Lily couldn’t imagine a happier night of her life and knew that if she stayed with James, there was a good chance she would spend many nights like this, wrapped up in his arms. After a moment, needing to regain her breath, she pulled away and looked up at him.

“So… are we together now?”

“That depends. Do you want to be together?”

She shrugged. “I mean, I’m in if you are.” James laughed and Lily couldn’t help but imagine a lifetime of listening to the glorious noise.

“I’m in, Evans. I’m all in.”

“Good. Or this would have gotten really awkward really fast.” They grinned at each other once more before James lowered himself and seized her lips with his once more, until all they could think about was being with each other.

Lily decided that this was much better than sleeping.

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

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listen... i miss gmw. gimme a lil something something bout the kids' college graduations?? maybe baby penny is sick all over Farkle's diploma and it's ruined for framing and Jennifer can't BELIEVE the AUDACITY of this infant CHILD and maybe joshaya are running late late late late bc whoops impromptu trip to denmark on smthg and the plane was delayed but FSCK WE GOTTA GRADUATE or something. idk. what i do know is that i love ur blog and riarkle, in that order xxxx

You sent this in like maybe a week or so ago and I’ve been ignoring it in fear of becoming Trash once more but I just realized that it’s Riley’s birthday and life is a nightmare so the Trash Is Unleashed™

Okay so Maya stayed in New York for college as we know, but Riley and Farkle fucked off away to some Ivy League out of state

You readers can put them wherever your pretty little hearts desire, I personally like the thought of them in Boston (and I feel like it’d be a nice little circle since Feeny’s from Boston let me live)

But anyway, they’ve stayed as close as ever!!! Time and distance have no power over them!!! We know this!!!

Like we’re talking facetiming, constant texting, a group chat with memes they can’t explain to anyone else, phone calls, they all know what’s up with each other constantly

For the record they are still in touch with Zay, Smackle and Lucas but it’s just like. not CONSTANT communication you know. Like they’re group chat still lives but it’s college + Riley and Farkle have a kid so they’re all busy

But anyway

So Riley’s got her astrophysics and journalism courses aced, Farkle’s fully set to go into politics, and Maya’s art major is done with.

And you know. Our fav ot3 has been together most of their lives. They graduated middle school and high school together and they couldn’t wait to see each other graduate college

But…they were blindsided

No one had ever suspected their colleges would have the audacity to schedule their graduations on the same day

Does Riley pull a Topanga and try to fight her schools dean??? Absolutely

Does it work? Absolutely not

So now the ENTIRE family is stressed, because most of the Matthews consider Maya part of the family, so does Minkus, Shawn can’t see his goddaughter graduate and Josh is left with the delima of “Girlfriend vs Niece”. They’re all freaking out like holy shit

Riley and Maya are just….in Full Dramatics about this

We’re talking waxing Shakespearean sonnets about the Universe™ trying to tear them apart. They make their way back to all that Sun and the Moon symbolism bullshit

After a literal week of this Farkle is TIRED

Wakes up to his four year old telling him “Mommy’s wearing a lot of eyeliner and said the world is a dark and spiteful place that doesn’t want her and Auntie Maya together and that every moment they share is in blatant defiance of fate. What’s that mean?” and this poor guy is just like,,,,,,for fucks sake,

Like obviously he wants to see Maya graduate too!!! They’re best friends!!! But these girls are EXAHUSTING him lmao

So he has a Plan, but he also knows how his Plans usually go, so he just gives tf in and calls his dad to handle it lmao

Meanwhile: Joshua

Who has just been….literally screaming nonstop since this drama unfolded

Riley’s his BLOOD, even though they’re uncle-niece they have more of a close sibling relationship

But he literally has a ring ready and waiting for Maya!!!

And the boy is a fucking Matthews so of course HE’S in dramatic throws about this predicament

He calls Cory for advice and Cory is like “You’re going to Maya’s because you love her and I’m not paying for your fucking flight to Boston” lmao

So it ends up with like. Katy, Shawn, Turner, Josh (+ his four bandmates), and Zay (bc he’s in the city and Broke), and Ava end up going to Maya’s ceremony

With Cory, Topanga, Stuart, Amy, Alan, Eric, Auggie, Smackle and Feeny going to Riley and Farkle’s ceremony

Jack couldn’t get off work and Doesn’t Super Care and Morgan’s in Europe for work so they’re unfortunately off the list

They forgot to invite Lucas didnt want anymore choosing between the girls bullshit couldn’t make the trip because of work lol

So anyway: Farkle’s Plan that was funded by Stuart?

Absolutely got remote controlled robots so they could keep up a video call for both ceremonies

You know damn well what I mean

Cory thinks this is absolutely the funniest fucking thing he’s ever heard of

Eric thinks this is a sign of the impending Robot Wars™

The girls are still massively upset and think Farkle’s a fucking dork but they’re very touched and love him yadayada so this calms them down a bit

But anyway like, we get to the big graduation day and like….disasters, disasters all around

Josh’s Stoner Friend™ keeps knocking into the damn robot and almost breaks it like thirty times in an hour

Eric is giving the robot at Riley and Farkle’s site a wide berth with suspicious eyes

Auggie, Cory and Penny are all suspiciously sick but are trying to power through the ceremony

All the other students and people attending these graduations…..you know these whackjobs are getting looks. Some assholes in the crowd keep throwing stuff at the robots

Shawn and Katy are making a HUGE SCENE crying hysterically we all know they would

Jennifer makes a surprise, dramatic appearance at Farkle’s graduation

We’re talking pulling up in a limo, emerging in slow motion, wearing a glittering black evening gown, elbow length black satin gloves, stilettos and a huge hat with peacock feathers on it, making a show of searching the crowds before spotting him (standing directly in front of her) before throwing out her arms and screeching “My baby-!”

Farkle’s like ‘We literally have not spoken in at least six years will you please get the fuck out of here’

She does not, in fact, get the fuck out of there so Topanga is now on duty to make sure she and Stuart don’t get into a fight and ruin this for the kids asdfgj

Feeny keeps fucking falling asleep bc he’s old and doesn’t care about the guest speakers but he SNORES WORRINGLY LOUDLY

Students aren’t technically allowed to have devices™ out during the ceremonies so Riley and Farkle and Maya are trying so hard to be discrete as the watch the feed from each other’s graduations

They literally end up paying more attention to each other’s graduations than their own lmao

Josh’s bandmates and Zay are all being the rowdiest fucking audience members possible like they’re all those assholes that bring noise makers and scream and clap at random intervals

Stuart and Jen keep shooting each other withering glares and trading insults as Topanga shushes them

Penny, Auggie, and Cory are just feeling more and more like Literal Death the longer this drags on

Maya finally goes up to get her diploma and Katy literally faints

Riley and Farkle start cheering bc yay Maya!!! Until they remember they’re at their own ceremony and there is LITERALLY A SPEECH HAPPENING SO THEY’RE SCREAMING INTO THE QUIET AND INTERRUPTING EVERYTHING

Get glared back into submission but Maya’s laughing at them

Maya’s graduation ends soonish after that but the other one is DRAGGING ON STILL so everyone is like crowed around trying to watch on Maya’s tiny screen lol

When the speech finally ends Smackle’s muttering about how everything said was factually incorrect

Stuart and Jen are still antagonizing each other

Amy and Alan are taking enough pictures to blind people with the flash

So Riley gets called up for her diploma first right

Trips

Hard enough to fall off the fucking stage

Had to be helped back up by memebers of the band

Gets back on stage and gets her diploma

Falls again coming down

Amy and Topanga are s c re a m i ng and Maya is literally crying from the effort it takes to not laugh

Jen’s making obnoxious comments about who her son was ‘trapped’ by and Penny wants to know what that means and Stuart is prepared to stab Jen if she bothers to answer

Riley’s literally off to the side getting looked at by a medic when Farkle goes up for his diploma

He gets it fine enough but coming downstage he’s overcome with the urge to do ‘thank you I am farkle’

he didn’t realize the student that was called up after him was right behind him

punches this kid in the face, he falls

the person behind them falls

a fcucking domino effect of ivy league graduates

Eric is literally crying from laughter watching this. So are his fucking bodyguards like they broke character bc this scene was Too Much

Feeny is back to snoring

The New York crowd is loosing their fucking minds

Farkle’s rushing back to his seat and Jen stands up to get his attention to Yell at him for being embarrassing and

Penny just fucking projectile vomits all over her

She’s SCREAMING

Cory opens his mouth to apologize and explain that she’s been sick and HE PUKES. WHICH SETS AUGGIE OFF

EVERYONES SCREAMING

Listen it was a huge crowd but three people projectile vomiting is gonna cause a STIR

People are rushing away and it’s a whole mess of a scene

The nyc crowd is Alive watching this all unfold

Eventually the ceremony ends and Riley and Farkle lowkey lock theirselves in their apartment for the rest of the night

Everyone thinks they’re just embarrassed but they’re fucking cracking up hysterically like it took two hours to give Penny a bath because they couldn’t catch their breath

At some point they settle down a bit and call Maya and the three of them spend the rest of their night drowning in nostalgia

This is messy as fuck but I’m out of practice anyway

^ me when I think about gmw these days

#gmw #riarkle #maya hart #riley matthews #farkle minkus #asks #molly mumbles #this is So Bad I'm sorry #I had to rush it #bc food #but hope someone enjoyed #lol

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