#maybe if they misbehave dad will tell them that if they don’t behave he’ll tell me and I won’t wanna come see them again

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

(Romanced) Companions baby-sitting Shaun for the first time.

(They didn't really have to be romanced for this one but it just seemed like a nice sentiment.)

Cait:

She really doesn’t mean anything by it, but the first time you leave her and Shaun alone she is fantastically scared. Be it because shaun is a synth or just because the weight of the responsibility suddenly sits on her shoulders. She quickly realizes that this alone time with Shaun is very valuable though. A piece of her even becomes strangely sympathetic, realizing the kid probably just wanted to have a complete family with his mommy/daddy and her. So before she even knows what’s going on, she finds herself playing in the makeshift backyard outside your house with Shaun and dog meat, finding true happiness.

Curie:

Curie is automatically elated at even the thought getting to spend some quality time with the boy. Though she was careful, she considered Shaun her son from the moment you introduced him to her. Let’s be honest, Curie is a natural at taking care of the boy. Probably the best to be honest. They have a really good time, playing an old blast radius board game you found and so on. Shaun can’t help but behave with her too, even going to bed with no fuss the second the little synth mentions bed time. Overall him and Curie go together really well, alleviating any past apprehensions you may have had about leaving him with the scientist.

Danse:

The notion of being left alone with his adopted son scared Danse more than anything. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to bond with the child, after all Danse was rather quick to consider him his own, his anxiety was more or less caused by the fear of screwing up something. Yeah, he has interacted with the squires on the airship before but none of them were his. What if he runs out of things to talk about? What if Shaun starts misbehaving? God forbid Shaun somehow got hurt, what the hell was he doing to do? Sure he knew how to dress wounds and such but admitting something like that happened under his watch? The thought made the Paladin want to tear his hair out. Much to Danse’s relief, his fears were for naught. Shaun really likes danse, asking his new father all about his power armor and his laser rifles and..well, anything the young boy could think of. This made Danse very happy. By the time you got home, Danse was in the garage with the young boy- teaching him all about how to repair lord knows what and getting Shaun to hand him tools as he demonstrated.

Deacon:

Surprising both himself and you, him and Shaun quickly become besties in their bonding time. Being left alone with the spy was actually really good for Shaun, and Deacon. Though he wouldn’t admit it, Deacon was scared to get too attached to your son, scared to accept him as his own but now? He couldn’t imagine it any other way. They played hide and seek, pulled some tasteful pranks on poor unsuspecting settlers and over all just had a really good time.

Gage:

In all honesty, Gage was scared shitless. If not for the strangeness or taking care of a child for the first time in his life, it was also the vulnerability of being left alone for the kid to judge him. Without you there as a buffer...Surely his adoptive son couldn’t think too highly of his “pa” being a raider..could he? The thought of him disapproving of gage made the old raider hurt in a way he both didn’t like nor think he was capable of hurting. So because of this, Gage is pretty grumpy at first, rather to stay at an arms distance. However it only takes an hour or so of shaun’s wide puppy eyes, much like his parent’s, for gage to fall weak. After this, good luck finding either one of them because Gage is totally taking Shaun around the park to ride some of the rides.

Hancock:

In theory, Hancock thought it would be super easy..and well, it kind of was. Though he didn’t have much experience with taking care of young kids, he was still compassionate and at the very least- entertaining. This definitely worked in Hancock’s favor the first time he babysits the newest addition to your little family. Figuring it would be a good pass time, he takes Shaun around his city, making sure to acquaint him with all the “upstanding” citizens so they all know not to fuck with the kid. His kid. Needless to say, everyone quickly loves Shaun.

Macready:

He wasn’t that perturbed, more or less just wondering how in the world he was going to manage to watch both Shaun and Duncan without them teaming up and pulling one over on him. His fears were perfectly justified though, seeing as when you came home you found both the little boys laughing as Macready frantically tried to clean up an absolutely wrecked house.

Yes, they both got into some serious trouble. Macready never wants to be left without backup ever again.

Maxson:

(Just assuming he doesn't know he's a synth/ maybe a slight canon divergence? Like maybe Shaun actually ends up being Shaun and father is someone else?? I don't know..because it wouldn't go over smoothly if shaun was a synth no matter what.)

He's pretty good at this whole babysitting thing, remembering the many people who took care of him and what their were methods with crystal clarity. Granted, his previous caretakers were all soldiers. However, even though Shaun isn't technically his blood and doesn't have his last name, he is your son and that was good enough for Arthur. Plus, he figured it would be good practice for whenever you and him managed to finally make heirs. Seeing as Maxson wanted to do his best to acclimate Shaun into the brotherhood way of life, he'd take the precious bonding opportunity quite enthusiastically. It went beyond him just wanting Shaun to know his organization better though, truthfully, Arthur wanted to impress the young boy. Even more than that, Maxson wanted to let Shaun know that no matter what, he'd be there to protect him. That all being said, Arthur is still pretty awkward, not wanting to mess it up. He really tries though, taking Shaun around the airship, familiarizing the boy with his new family, answering any questions he may have about basically anything,

What he doesn't know is Shaun is impressed with him already, not because he is the leader of some crazy metal loving army.

As soon as Shaun makes that clear though, you can expect to come home to a teary eyed Maxson hugging a confused, but happy Shaun. Later on when the child's asleep, Arthur even slips up and begins referring to him as his own son...which makes you very happy.

Nick:

Deciding it would be for the best, he takes the synth boy to the agency- getting a little help from ellie. However he takes his duty very seriously, keeping his synthetic eyes practically glued on his boy. That being said, Shaun behaves especially well for the old detective, spinning around in one of the office chairs as his adoptive dad sorts out some old case files.

Old longfellow:

He was a little apprehensive at first but he knew that the time was bound to come. Luckily he already has an entire day planned out for him and his “son”. Much to shaun’s delight, Longfellow brings him out to the water and teaches him how to fish. The two of them don’t catch anything for a while, more so just enjoying each other’s company and chatting away. However Longfellow couldn’t help but be proud when Shaun caught some fish, far too small to eat but that didn’t matter. He was still so proud. To celebrate, he even gave the young boy a beer with a wink and a “don’t tell yer mom/dad.”.

Piper:

Much like Mac, Piper had both the disadvantage and advantage of also having another child under your roof. Though Nat wasn’t her child, she always cared for her little sister like she was so Piper didn’t exactly fear having to care for a kid. Unlike Mac, the additional kid in her care wasn’t mischievous. So, as much as she hate to admit it, Nat was the one that kept Shaun in line, all while Piper tentatively kept a watchful gaze on the two.

Preston:

Thanks to occasionally taking care of exhausted settler’s children, Preston wasn’t entirely in the dark when it came to taking care of Shaun. Sure, the first time being left alone with his “son” still made him a little nervous..but he’d do anything to make the boy happy. With that being said, providing it’s a chilly night, he’ll build a fire and tell Shaun all kinds of lovely campfire stories and roast some s’mores.

X6-88:

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that him and Shaun get along swimmingly, having known each other before you even found your son. So, X6 was a natural at caring for Shaun, with or without you present. Plus Shaun knows better than to act up with him, as well as they get along, x6 has none of it. Nonetheless, they are so totally partners in crime. Much to your surprise, you’ll likely come home to find the evidence of what appears to be a massive prank war. Shaun passed out on the couch with shaving cream on his face and X6 with mysteriously fuchsia hair.

[gamerwoo]

Seventeen headcanon: Seventeen as Daycare Workers

a/n: i really dont have the time for a whole au for this so uh here’s a headcanon because i just needed to like write it down somewhere. maybe one day i’ll make a mini series for each of them or smth

-

Choi Seungcheol

he’s the boss

he doesn’t own the daycare but he works directly under the owners

they’re family friends of his

he absolutely adores the kids at the daycare

he knows every kid in the daycare so well

like he knows who needs what and when

he always has the answers so everyone goes to him when they need help

moms always hit on him but he doesn’t realize they’re trying to hit on him

tbh he’s too busy making sure the kid didn’t forget anything lmao

while he does mostly work with the older kids (so basically anyone outside the baby room) he does do everything

all of the kids love him so much

Yoon Jeonghan

honestly he technically was never officially hired

they were really low on staff once so Seungcheol begged Jeonghan to help

he promised to pay him so Jeonghan said yes because he needed money

but even once they hired someone else, Jeonghan kept showing up

so he just works there now

he was really,,,,,,,not into taking care of kids lmao

he’s like the stereotypical new dad who like holds his baby wrong and is like ‘wtf is this???’

but he’s gotten the hang of it and a lot of the kids love him

he’s convinced them he’s a real life angel

Jihoon is trying to undo that by telling them the opposite but some of the kids only think he’s even cooler

always gets hit on by the parents

Joshua Hong

he’s one of the preschool teachers

he doesn’t like having anyone call him Mr. Hong so the kids call him Mr. Josh or Mr. Shua

he hits on a lot of the moms

may have slept with one or two of them but that’s neither here nor there

like Jeonghan, he teaches them that he’s this perfect gentleman (mostly so they’ll go home and tell their moms that)

again, Jihoon tells them otherwise

he has so many drawings from his students and he keeps all of them in a big folder in his desk at home

refuses to throw anything the kids made away

but while he’s sweet with the kids, he doesn’t really have a good track record with calling anybody back

always scolded by Jihoon and Seungcheol

Wen Junhui

the kids love him because he’s basically a large child

the kids love him so much

he literally lets them climb all over him he loves it

loves to help the kids with lunch and snack and stuff

he mostly works with the toddlers and not so much the babies

he’s like Jeonghan when he first started working there but only with babies

teaches the kids words in mandarin all the time

loves to tickle them and make them laugh

whenever a kid is crying, Jun’s the guy to go to

gets hits on a moderate amount but is too flustered to do anything about it

Kwon Soonyoung

claims he’s the one in charge is Seungcheol or Jihoon aren’t there

thankfully at least one of them is always at work

like Jun, he acts like he’s one of the kids

but sometimes he’s.......too extra with it

banned from the baby room for being too loud all the time

usually in charge of circle time

teaches them little songs and dances and stuff

lowkey hoped working at a daycare would help him meet someone but all the kids go home and tell their parents about how goofy Soonyoung is

so none of the single parents take him seriously so when he’s trying to hit on them it doesn’t work out

at least the kids like him

though sometimes they bully him or throw their toys at him lmao

Jeon Wonwoo

the other teacher

Wonwoo teaches the older kids who come in after they’re at kindergarten or first grade

but that’s not until the afternoon, so during the morning, he’s usually in the baby room

Wonwoo’s a much quieter teacher than Josh but his kids adore him

he’s the true gentleman

seems like he’d be awkward with kids but he’s so good with them????

if they’re crying or upset, he’s soft and patient and understanding

he’s perfect with babies because he’s already quiet and gentle

and unlike Josh, he keeps things more professional with the parents

even if a lot of kids insist they want him to be their dad

Lee Jihoon

somehow, he became the second in command to Seungcheol

he was hired around the time that Jeonghan started getting dragged there

and despite claiming he had no training and hadn’t ever really worked with kids, he was a natural

and kids loved him even though he seemed so cold and annoyed toward everyone else

but with kids he’s so sweet

if a kid is being a brat he absolutely won’t put up with it, though

he’s a lot more blunt with kids misbehaving than Seungcheol is but he at least gets them to behave

moms used to hit on him but he made it painfully obvious he wasn’t interested

like Seungcheol, he also works with all he kids, but he mainly stays in the baby room

Lee Seokmin

he assists Wonwoo with his classes in the afternoon

but during the day he goes between the baby room and staying with the rest of the kids

known for singing kids and babies to sleep

the kids are so in love with his voice

he’ll sit on the floor and they’ll all lay in like a lil pile around him and just listen to him sing as they fall asleep

probably loves helping with crafts more than he should

he’ll make one for himself and bring it home like a proud child lmao

tbh he has baby fever real bad

Kim Mingyu

assists Joshua’s class

tries to sit at the really short tables with the kids but his knees are like in his chest

no matter how many times he does that, the kids still think it’s hilarious

doesn’t really assist with crafts because he would mess it up

he already made three kids cry for ruining their crafts and he refuses to mess up again

of course he’s popular with the parents

but honestly even like 5 of the little girls insist they’ll marry Mingyu when they’re older

Mingyu just thinks it’s cute tho

Xu Minghao

mostly stays in the baby room

lowkey has baby fever like Seokmin but won’t admit it

but also thinks the single parents (and tbh even some of the married ones) coming in and flirting with everyone is really dumb

loves holding the babies and trying to get them to smile

occasionally assists with the older kids when help is needed, like with recess or something

the kids think he’s so cool because he always speaks to Jun in mandarin

but he’s kind of a little more awkward with kids so he just get’s all blushy and mumbles a thank you

then retreats back to the baby room

Boo Seungkwan

tbh just applied for the job because he thought it would be easy money

he’s suffering

it’s like kids know he’s not that great with kids and try to rub it in his face

they climb all over him, throw food at him, color on him

tbh they give him the hardest time out of anybody else

his bad luck carries over into the baby room

Seungcheol thought maybe he should work in there instead but he always gets spit up and thrown up on

let’s just say he has to basically keep a whole closet in his car because he’s always changing his clothes

but there are still really cute moments where a kid will crawl into his lap and ask him to read to him or when he sings to a baby and it smiles up at him

so he suffers through the pain for those moments

Hansol Chwe

literally the chillest worker there

kids and parents alike both love him

babies, not so much, but that’s fine because he doesn’t really know how to hold a baby anyway

tbh he doesn’t really like know what to do and when he just kinda follows what everyone else does

he’s not the best with kids, but I mean, he keeps them alive and mostly happy so ?????

he’s not one of the favorites but he’s trying

he might try to help a crying kid and only make them cry harder but he’s t r y i n g

kids don’t hate him and that’s what matters

and he does his job

Lee Chan

y’know how Soonyoung says he would be next in charge after Jihoon? it would probably actually be Chan

he’s good with babies and kids

sometimes pops into the classes to help out

sometimes pops into the baby room to help out

the owners love him and think he’s awesome

he’s great with the parents too

like he’s one of their star employees

he loves kids and babies and kids and babies love him

unfortunately while he is trying to find a s/o, none of the parents seem to want to take him seriously lmao

[taestfully]

BTS as dads

Request: Bts as types of fathers

A/N: This is so wholesome I adore BTS dad au’s so much okay 🥺😭🤧💜

Seokjin

• Jin as a dad is something else let me tell ya

• he’s simultaneously the most extra dad and the biggest worry wart you’ll ever meet

• he’s also a mom and a dad rolled into one

• Jin will go outside and play ball with his kids

• but also he’ll be the one to cook their meals and console them when they get booboos

• will have about 2 or 3 kids

• he’s caring and just a really good dad all around

• although he is a little high strung at times

• like Jin runs a tight ship

• he won’t hesitate to reprimand his children if they act out of line

• he can be kind of a smart aleck to his kids when they’re acting up asdfghjkl

• kind of a savage dad

• well in his defense his kids like to smart off to him first

• they get it honest lol

• they inherited Jin’s attitude

• one time his kid was back talking him and Jin was all like “I don’t know where you get this attitude from!”

• the kid was like “I got it from you!”

• ohhh boy

• Jin often overreacts to when his kid gets hurt

• like I said he’s a worry wart

• “dad it’s just a scratch—”

• “just a scratch?! what if it gets infected? oh no we need to disinfect it right now!!”

• but despite his worrying he’s such a doting father

• Jin never goes a day without telling his kids he loves them

• even when his kids like to take after uncle Jungkook and purposely try to annoy him lol

• which drives him nuts but oh well lol he loves them anyway

Yoongi

• let me tell y’all something

• Yoongi is an absolutely adorable daddy

• he’s so soft for his kids

• he’s really a doting father too it’s so cute

• I don’t see him having a whole lot of kids

• maybe two at the most

• he’ll instill a deep love of music into his children

• music is a shared hobby with his kids that acts as a form of bonding for them

• I see Yoongi being very slow to anger

• he gets exasperated with his kids but will always keep a level head

• Yoongi isn’t the type of dad that engages in sports with his kids

• he rather likes to chill inside watching movies or listening to music with them

• he also will not raise entitled children

• he will offer them the world, but still teaches them that if you want something, you must work hard for it

• Yoongi wants his children to have a better childhood than he did

• one where they didn’t have to grow up so fast and worry about trying to make ends meet

• he likes to teach them life lessons while sitting on the couch with them snuggled close to his side

• gosh papa Yoongi is so cute

Hoseok

• Hoseok’s children are rays of sunshine

• just like him

• he’ll have about three kids I think

• he’s a very high spirited father

• there’s never a dull moment in the house

• he’s always thinking of ways to have fun with his kids

• whether it be playing in the yard, going to the park, or taking them to some super fun amusement park

• his kids inherit his bright, charming smile and know how to use it against him

• he often times gives in to any of their requests

• loves to dance with his kids

• Hoseok is the type that if he has a daughter he’ll let her stand on his feet and the two of them will waltz around the living room

• uhuhuhu I just had a mental picture of that now I am utterly devastated 😭🤧💕

• while he’s a fun dad he’s also pretty stern when it comes to discipline

• he makes sure that his kids behave well

• will not hesitate to get on to them if he needs to

• I can kinda see Hoseok being the type of father that you don’t want to see mad lol

• good thing he’s pretty slow to anger

• Hoseok is a good daddy and that’s that on that

Namjoon

• want to know what Namjoon loves most about having kids?

• he now has travel buddies for when he goes off on adventures!

• will most definitely teach his kids how to look for crabs

• Namjoon won’t have many kids

• 2 at the most

• he can goof off with his kids

• but normally he’s more into sitting down and conversing with his kids

• his kids will still be in diapers and he’s having deep talks with them about the world lol

• he’s the easiest dad to talk to

• his kids won’t ever be nervous to open up to him about things

• and Namjoon will always lend his ear to them when they have something to say

• even if that something is about how they just had a slumber party with their imaginary friend

• This man never shows his anger to his kids

• his kids won’t even know he’s mad until he does the thing

• that thing he does where he locks his jaw tight

• that’s the only giveaway to his anger

• Namjoon keeps a level head and disciplines his kids fairly

• will explain why he disciplines them and why they must face consequences when they do something wrong

• Namjoon wants to raise beautiful human beings so that they can have a positive impact on the world when they grow up

• Namjoon doesn’t care what they grow up to do, he cares what they grow up to be

• Joonie will be a great father and I’m soft just thinking about it

Jimin

• I’m torn

• I don’t know if Jimin would have just a couple kids or like 4

• he’ll probably be right behind Taehyung when it comes to how many children he’ll have

• Jimin is a soft dad who loves his kids with his whole heart

• the most encouraging father

• wakes each of his kids up each morning with kind words and a kiss to their cheeks

• will send them to school with little notes of encouragement

• Jimin is like Taehyung when it comes to refusing his kids their desires

• it’s literally impossible for him to say no

• hates to see their precious faces covered in a frown

• Jimin can go both ways when his kids misbehave

• most of the time he takes it in stride

• but some times he may let his frustration slip

• will snuggle his kids close and apologize profusely if he even remotely loses his temper with one of his children

• likes to sing lullabies to them at night right before bed

• they sing along with him

• it’s the cutest thing ever asdfghjkl

• Jimin will not let a day go by where he doesn’t say ‘I love you’ to his kids

• the sweetest daddy ever

Taehyung

• I’m pretty sure we all can agree that Taehyung would be the bestest daddy

• he loves children and always has, so when he has kids of his own he absolutely adores them

• all 548299292 of them

• ok that’s an exaggeration lol but I know for a fact that Taehyung would have the most kids out of all the other members

• probably around like 4 or 5 at least

• he’s got a big heart and more than enough room for all of his sweet little babies

• Taehyung would be the most doting father

• he doesn’t like to say no to his children

• anything they ask for is theirs no question

• some would think that he’s spoiling them rotten but his kids inherit Tae’s lovable, kind nature

• Taehyung rarely gets mad or agitated at his children

• very patient man

• however he can see straight through them if they try to lie

• there’s no pulling anything on him haha

• this comes in handy when it comes to his kids making friends

• any fake friends will be exposed immediately lol

• isn’t a fan of negative reinforcement

• will nudge his children in the right direction gently with kind words

• Taehyung is such a family man and I think that’s the most adorable thing ever

Jungkook

• Jungkook as a dad

• think about that for a sec

• this baby having a baby of his own??

• will be beside himself when he becomes a dad

• has this lost look on his face when he holds his first kid for the first time lmao

• how is a kid supposed to raise another kid

• will have about three kids, which is way more than he anticipated having

• but despite what he may think, he’s a super great dad

• learns the whole parenting thing really quick

• goes to his hyungs for advice

• because he looks up to them so much

• not just because they’re experienced fathers

• but because they practically raised him

• Jungkook is a passionate person

• will love his kids fiercely

• he’s a really cool dad

• him and his kids are best friends

• mostly because he acts like a kid himself lol

• he doesn’t like to reprimand his kids

• he’ll often times grow super awkward and skirt around the issue

• but soon realizes that oh crap he’s the adult here he needs to teach them right from wrong

• will make sure his kids are trained on the ways of pulling pranks

• uncle Jin is usually the victim lmao

• lol you guys Kook is such a dorky, fun loving dad it’s great

[jolexfanfics]

jo is feeling better, therapy is helping and she tries to convince alex to go to therapy too

“Dr. Karev, it’s so nice to put a face to the name I’ve heard so much about.” The therapist greeted Alex as he and Jo sat on the big couch across from her as Jo had done so many times before by herself. Jo was in the final weeks of her outpatient treatment after successfully completing her inpatient treatment and the last step was to include Alex in her weekly therapy sessions. This was the part Jo was actually excited about. However, her husband was reluctant. Alex saw how therapy had helped Jo overcome her struggles and cope with her depression better than he could’ve imagined, but that didn’t mean that he needed it or that they needed it together as a couple. I don’t have a problem. Alex had said with annoyance the first time she brought it up. And we don’t have any problems. We’re happy now. Jo had reminded him for the millionth time that even though they were in a better place now, they didn’t need to be on the verge of a divorce to see a therapist. After a lot of talking and convincing, Alex finally caved and agreed to go “just this time.”

“First I want to start with the question we start with every session: how are you feeling today?” Jo could feel Alex’s nerves and she gave his hand a gentle squeeze to reassure him. She looked over at him to see if he would answer, but when he didn’t she decided to go first.

“I feel good.” Jo replied honestly. “I don’t feel great, but I feel better everyday.” She and the doctor both turned their attention to Alex, waiting for him to go.

“I don’t know.” He replied with a shrug. He felt like a little boy back in school, when he’d get sent to the principals office for acting out and they’d tried to talk him about his feelings and why he misbehaved so much.

“That’s okay.” The doctor replied patiently. “Hopefully we’ll be able to change that answer by the end of our time together.”

Jo kept her fingers laced in Alex’s, willing her energy to spread from her fingertips to his. She knew this wasn’t easy for Alex, but after everything they’d been through she’d hoped he would at least give it a fair shot.

“So Jo, tell me why you decided to bring Alex with you today.”

“Alex and I….” she rubbed her thumb nervously against the back of his hand, “We’ve been through a lot. Together and separately. And our one year anniversary is coming up and….I think this is the best thing for us.”

“And Alex, why did you agree to join Jo today?”

Jo looked over at Alex but he was looking down at their hands. He sat still for a moment. “My mom was sad a lot over my dad when I was growing up. I don’t wanna see Jo sad like that ever. I don’t wanna see our kids see her sad like how my siblings and I saw our mom.”

Jo was shocked. Out of all of the answers she expected to come from him, that was the last one. She knew Alex had always struggled with understanding mental illness in the people he loved, but the fact that he maybe blamed himself broke her heart. She blinked rapidly as she tried to fight the tears that threatened to escape which the doctor noticed instantly.

“Jo, why does that make you emotional?”

Alex looked up at Jo for the first time and frowned when he noticed her trying not to cry. “It makes me mad. At myself. That he thinks this is his fault.” She paused to take a deep breath. “I’m not sad because of him. He’s the only person that keeps me alive most days. And I’ve been a burden on his happiness.”

“And do you feel that way, Alex? Like Jo has been a burden on your happiness?”

“Never.” Alex wanted to punch a hole through a wall. Jo could never be a burden on his happiness. She was his happiness. He thought back to the minute they met, how he had teased her, how she had confided in him. How they were able to be goofy and annoying together but also talk about medicine and work on patients together. He could still remember their first kiss like it was yesterday, and how since that moment all he’d wanted to do was make her happy and instead now felt like he failed.

“Alex, what bothers you about Jo?” The therapist asked, jotting down notes as she casually jumped to the next question.

He looked at the doctor in confusion. Jo was already upset, there was no way he was about to piss her off even more. He stared her down, hoping if he gave her a mean enough glare she would move on to the next question—a better question—but she didn’t budge.

“What bothers me about Jo is uh…” Alex spun the invisible game show wheel in his head, “She sometimes forgets to replace the paper towel roll in the kitchen and the dishes don’t dry themselves.”

“Okay…” the therapist continued scribbling on her notepad. “And what else?”

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s it.”

“It doesn’t bother you when Jo lays in bed all day and refuses to make conversation with you?” She had struck a nerve and Jo could feel it without even looking at him.

“What about sex? Does it bother you when Jo has little to no sex drive?”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Alex instantly barked back in defense. Jo held onto his arm in an attempt to calm him down and keep him pinned to the couch even though the therapist wasn’t phased by Alex’s sudden anger.

“So that bothers you. Do you tell Jo that it bothers you?” Alex huffed and flopped back against the couch. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t understand how this was helping him or Jo. When he made it clear he was no longer participating, the therapist moved on and directed the same question to her.

“And Jo? What bothers you about Alex?” Had this been a few months ago, Jo would’ve shut down herself. She would’ve gotten mad at Alex for behaving like an enraged teenager and sworn off the conversation entirely. But she knew if they were ever going to move forward, this was the first step towards doing so.

“This.” She turned to face Alex, but was still talking at the therapist. “The way we communicate when we’re upset bothers me. When Alex and I are great, we are absolutely, completely great. But when we’re bad…” she trailed off for a moment, not wanting to finish that thought, “our communication goes to hell. And that bothers me. We can’t get through nine months of pregnancy and eighteen plus years of a child if we don’t learn how to communicate.”

Alex snapped back into attention at the mention of their potential future children. After everything that had happened in the past few months, he wasn’t even sure Jo had wanted children anymore, and he had been so worried about her, he had completely put the idea of children on the back burner. Hearing her bring up kids anywhere in the near future after everything she’d been through softened him a bit, and he knew that what Jo was saying was right, even if it bruised his ego a little bit.

“Jo and I both get angry.” Alex chimed in quietly. “We get angry and we’re quick to react and then quick to shut down.”

The therapist nodded, looking between the two of them, “and would you say that’s your weakest point as a couple?”

“Yes.” They both replied in unison.

“And it doesn’t bother me that we don’t have sex all the time.” Alex added, directing that part specifically over at his wife. “It bothers me that she doesn’t even wanna look at me sometimes. Or that I can’t even ask her what’s wrong without her telling me to get lost or leave her alone.”

Jo frowned at how hurt Alex sounded. This whole time she had been so focused on herself she had essentially abandoned her husband and her marriage and she never thought once how that must have made him feel as a person. Her depression was her battle, but she hadn’t realized she wasn’t the only one fighting it. She reached for his hand again and when he took it without hesitation, she knew that they were actually getting somewhere.

“Alex, name three things you love about Jo.”

This was an easy question Alex had no problem answering. “Three things I love about Jo are her smile, her ambition, and the way she makes me laugh.”

“You two laugh a lot together?” The therapist smiled as she watched both Jo and Alex lighten up a bit.

“Always.” Alex smiled over at Jo and she met his gaze. “Jo makes me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“And Jo, three things you love about Alex.”

“I love the way Alex cares about kids. I always think if he cares this much about kids that aren’t his own, I can only imagine the love he’ll have for our kids.” She smiled back at him and this time it was his turn to give her a reassuring squeeze. “I love that Alex is protective. Even though it has gotten him into trouble, I have never worried once that Alex wouldn’t be there to protect me.”

“And I love that Alex is my best friend. He was my best friend before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend when he was my boyfriend, and now he’s my best friend and my husband. He’s who I think about when I’m lying next to him at night before I go to sleep and who I wake up thinking about the next morning. Even through all of this he has been my best friend. And I’m gonna be his as long as he’ll let me.”

Jo smiled at Alex and bit back a grin when she noticed him getting choked up. He quickly shook it off and playfully nudged her in the side, attempting to get her to leave him alone.

“And lastly, we’ll end this with the same question we started with: how are you feeling?”

“I feel proud.” Jo said confidently. “I know this is a big step for Alex and I’m proud of him. He didn’t have to come today and he did anyway.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“I feel…relieved.” Alex said truthfully. “I’m relieved my wife is okay. I’m relieved that I get to see her laugh and smile again and I’m relieved to know that even if things do get bad again, we’ll know how to make them better.”

Both Jo and the therapist seemed pleasantly surprised at his answer. “Well that’s great to hear Alex. I hope we’ll see you in here again soon.” 

They both had a long road ahead of them but they now knew that the two of them would get through it together. And maybe one day along the line, Alex would even give therapy a shot by himself.

[sidbridgecomedy]

It is Ever the Audience’s Fault?

Last night at my open mic show, a lot of comics placed blame on the audience for sets that didn’t go over well - enough that it made me want to try and sort out the age old question: It is ever the audience’s fault?

The easy answer is a resounding NO.

I’m not here to talk about the easy answer, though. Attempting to shame 25 hard-working open mic comics because they couldn’t connect with an audience won’t help anyone. Instead, I think it’s worth looking into a few scenarios where the makeup of the audience really does make it difficult to get laughs.

Let’s start with what we had last night:

1. STRANGE MIXTURE 

It comes with the territory at an established comedy club’s open mic - the audience is made up mostly of people who came to see their friend perform. Usually, it’s the first-timers who bring the people. We had a good sized group on one side of the room who came to see a comic who was going near the end of the show (Poor guy showed up late for signup, but I had mercy on him and tacked him on towards the end). 

On the other side of the room was a group of people who came for a different person. They were complete opposites. One side of the room had a Trump fan and the other side had an urban feel. Neither reacted particularly well to offensive comedy. 

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: When the audience disagrees about what’s funny, the laughs suffer. When Trump guy laughs, the rest of the room gets uncomfortable. The tension builds until nobody wants to laugh anymore.

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Yes, but maybe not all of them at once. You may want to focus your audience read on what you perceive is the majority opinion in the room. Or do your best to find the common ground. It’ll be tough - especially at an open mic where you only have a few minutes on stage.

2. JUST THERE FOR A FRIEND

Little Joey wants to try comedy for the first time. He knows he’s gonna be HILARIOUS, so he invites mom, dad, uncle Earl, his entire high school clique and two or three girls he suspects will be so enamored of his comedy that he is definitely gonna get laid after the show.

The eagle-eyed host notices that he brought a lot of people and puts him near the end so the friends won’t walk out on the rest of the comics as soon as Little Joey leaves the stage. 

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: They came to laugh at Little Joey. They see the rest of the performers as an inconvenience they need to sit through before they can finally see their boy do his thing. 

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Yes. Hopefully. Bring your energy and your most professional stage outlook, and you can get them to forget about Little Joey for a minute and focus on you. Unfortunately, it may mean giving up on the new material you wanted to workshop and focusing on winning the audience instead - a decision you may choose to forgo in favor of honing that new material. Sadly, when poor Little Joey bombs, they will either pity laugh through his set, or spend the rest of the show consoling him. While this audience may be hard to win over, they may be worth it - if they came for an open mic featuring their special little boy, but ended up having a hilarious night of entertainment, they may decide to come back without Little Joey next time and just plain enjoy the show.

3. THEY GOT AMBUSHED

Let’s venture outside comedy clubs for a minute. Your friend is hosting an open mic at Butt Roaster’s Bar & Grill and he wants you there because you’re funny and it’ll help kick off the show. Unfortunately, nobody told the regulars that a comedy show would be breaking out at their favorite place to get a PBR and watch that exciting Sports Ball game. When the TV’s get muted, the lights go down, and the comedy starts, THEY WILL NOT GIVE A ****.

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: These guys came to drink, watch sports and talk to their friends. No comedy show is gonna stop that. You are truly screwing up their plans for the evening and you’re kind of the bad guy as far as they are concerned.

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Sometimes you can. It takes a few gifts. You need to be loud, aggressive, and maybe a little empathetic. Sometimes diving down to their level grabs their attention and makes them enjoy the show. Sometimes it just makes things worse and they become active hecklers.

4. THEY HATE YOUR GUTS

I know we all want peace and love to prevail, but anybody who lives in the real world knows we have a long way to go. I’ve been pretty fortunate as a comic who visibly wears a Yarmulke - a strong sign of Judaism - on stage, but I have gone up in front of audiences that included antisemitic people. They had no interest in laughing. There’s a ton of reasons an audience can decide to hate a comic - race, religion, gender, attitude, clothing, political opinions - you name it. 

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: They are making a statement. I once saw a good friend on stage use some material that - by today’s standards - a lot of people would consider culturally insensitive. This particular audience got quite offended and made a conscious decision to shut down the rest of his set. They sat, arms folded, refusing to laugh at anything. They were making a quiet but powerful statement.

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Hopefully you can. It takes a certain level of emotional strength to overcome a prejudice or to win back a group of people you offended. If you offended the audience, you’re going to have to acknowledge it somehow and work to win them back. I’ve seen this done two ways - 1. By apologizing and switching to less offensive material and 2. By doubling down with some other kind of offensive material to show the absurdness of getting offended (this is an advanced technique. Don’t try it if you’re new). If you’re overcoming a prejudiced audience, sometimes you just need to soldier through the set until you find common ground. You may also be able to win them by poking fun at yourself a bit, but don’t overdo self-deprecation - it just confirms their biases unfortunately.

5. THERE’S NO AUDIENCE

I shouldn’t have to write this section, but let’s be thorough. For whatever reason, nobody but a few comics showed up. Maybe there’s one guy. I don’t know why you decided to still have the show, but you’re there. You’ve got material you want to use and the microphone works, so you take the stage, hoping against hope that the audience will filter in as the show wears on. They don’t.

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: They don’t exist. It would be more disturbing if you heard laughter. I think that’s a sign of a psychological issue. Even if one guy is there, he’s going to be scared to death to laugh to loud because he’ll look like an idiot. Maybe the other comics will laugh, but they’ve heard your material so many times it really doesn’t count. You know what their laughs sound like, so you can tell. 

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: No. They aren’t present. This time you really did find an audience that you can blame your failure on. Damn those empty chairs and their mocking tone!!!

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

So is there really a bad audience? Yeah, maybe it seemed like it at my open mic last night. My set certainly didn’t go over as well as I hoped, but I still can’t place all the blame on the audience - especially at an open mic night where there’s a mixture of good and bad performers. They may have been difficult, but not impossible - several comics got big laughs out of them. Most of us didn’t.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

If there was one thing that left a bad taste in my mouth from last night - and I’m as much to blame as the rest of the comics - it’s how many people laid blame on the audience from the stage. When the audience is difficult, it’s really tempting to let them know how bad they are. The problem at an open mic is that once one comic does it, the others start joining in. By the end of the show, it felt like ten different comics had crapped on the audience. Whether the audience sucks or not, they will certainly start to believe what we tell them over and over again. 

Don’t get me wrong - when an audience is misbehaving, they need to be chastised. Hecklers need to be told to stop and sometimes the host needs to have a quick “time out” to remind the audience how to behave in a comedy club. If that needs to happen, it should be brief. Browbeating the audience will just lead to an adversarial relationship and it’ll make things worse. Plus, they will tell others about their comedy show experience and make life worse for the club.

In short, if you think an audience sucks, don’t blast them from the stage - do your best to win them over. Heck, tell them you are going to win them over by the end of your set - then do it. Even if you can’t win them over, do your material. Do it like a pro and accept the lack of laughter with grace. Sometimes you don’t know what their hidden problems are. If someone in the crowd is sad because of a tragic incident, they may be dragging everyone down. Even if they don’t laugh, they may appreciate your graciousness and come back again thanks to the positive (though laughter-free) experience.

And keep working!

[enchanted-flowers]

How do the skelebros (UT/US/UF) react to being told that if their kid disobey's them, a 'good' punishment is to take away their bedroom door (i.e remove them having any privacy) until they 'behave' again (let's say the S/O isn't here to hear such a suggestion). AKA which ones think it's a good idea and which ones hate it?

Okay, this ask makes me really angry (not at you Anon, don’t worry ^_^) but my Dad threatened the same thing because I’m in my room too often, so this form of punishment disgusts me. I’ll try to  keep my biased out of this ask though. 

Undertale

Sans

Classic is utterly appalled by this. He’s usually a chill guy and when people give him unwanted parenting advice he just brushes it off,but to essentially take away his child’s privacy? That’s disgusting. He’s hardcore judging the person who gave him the advice and just doesn’t talk to them again. No matter how misbehaving his child is, he will never take away their right to privacy. 

Papyrus

Paps is uncomfortable around the person, and expresses why he won’t do that, in effort to change their views. He tries to explain that taking away their child’s privacy is almost like child abuse and they deserve to to have their own private life hidden from the parent. Then he offers other other forms of punishment that isn’t so horrible like having them write a two page essay about why their behavior was wrong. 

Underswap

Sans

Blue considers it, until he realizes what taking away the door means and becomes fully against it. He knows that he would lose his child’s trust and while it might correct their behavior, it’s not worth it. Blue still talks to the person, but avoid talking about kids with them from now on. 

Papyrus 

Nope. Stretch just walks away from them. He is not subjecting his kid to that, he’s not a monster. His kid could be doing illegal drug dealing in his room, but he will not take away one his kid’s rights. He’ll find another way to punish them. 

Underfell 

Sans

Red actually does it. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it and if his kid has nothing to hide, then they wouldn’t have to worry either. But then, he sees how embarrassed and miserable his kid it. They behavior stopped, but it’s not worth the glare and the hated look they give him whenever they see him. Look, Red is not the best father, but he loves his kid. He reinstalls the door and never uses that punishment again. 

Papyrus

Likes the punishment. He doesn’t care that his kid “hates” him for it (okay, maybe a little bit) and sees it as a fair form of punishment. The way he sees it, if his kid misbehaves, it’s his duty as a parent to correct it by any means necessary. If you’re against it, you will have to step in and tell him that it’s wrong otherwise it’s going to continue.